Intro: For your distinguished service to the crown, you’ve been assigned the difficult and dangerous job of slaying a dragon purported to have slaughtered a village on the outskirts of the kingdom. It’s a job you should be able to handle, and you’re not too scared… now, if only the whole thing felt less wrong…
Summary: Listener meets a new acquaintance who befriends him, and offers to guide him where he needs to go. They face a danger together, and he learns that she is not what she seems.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 3800.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
TWs: Running deception, combat, discussion of mass murder (dragon burning places to the ground), possessiveness, forced sleep
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, she is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by herself.
Author’s Note: God, this took way too long to write. A couple months, if you count when I had the idea and when I wrote the first few sentences. Well, it’s here now, and I hope it’s not too disappointing. Prequel series go!
If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
​
​
{internal monologue} {disgusted} Ugh, those damn livestock merchants charge more every time. Gouging bastards, {rationalization} but I do need them to stay silent. If the town finds out how much food I have to purchase every month, it’ll only end badly. Besides, it’s not like even this much bribery makes a dent in my hoard. I should really just be glad I haven’t met any merchants with integrity, that wouldn’t end well. Good thing it’s a vanishingly rare trait these days… {annoyance} wait, no, that’s not a good thing, what am I saying? It’s sad… but it does make my life easier. Well, that’s a hell of a conundrum. {sigh} {bored} Not one I haven’t dealt with before, though. Have this conversation with myself every time. Oh, well. What matters is the food’ll be delivered soon, I don’t have to go into hibernation, and the merchants won’t talk. Anything else I wanted to do before heading home? Hmm… I think I wanted to stop at the spice merchant, see how much- {interest} HELlo. Who is that?
{curiosity} What would a knight be doing here? I mean, I suppose the goblin raids have been getting more brazen, but the town guards seem to have it handled, I haven’t even needed to get involved yet. I guess he could be here about that, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe he’s just passing through? Well, best way to find out is to go talk to-
{quiet} Oh, damn. That’s- oh, damn. Fuck, he’s hot. {forced calm} Okay, composure. You are an all-powerful dragon. You will not be thrown off your game by one mortal, no matter how shiny his armor is. And it’s only his armor you’ll be looking at, right? Right. Ignore that beautiful face, you just need to find out what he’s doing here, not-
{suspicious} Wait. Who’s he talking to? {upset} The spice merchant? And she’s BLUSHING? Uh-uh. No. Not gonna fly.
{out loud} {sickly sweet} Hiiiii, hello! It’s me again, I’m here to pick up some- Oh? Who’s this? A new friend?
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were having a conversation. Please, continue. I can wait.
{cough}
Oh, no, don’t mind me, just looking at… cumin. My, this smells awfully strong.
So sorry to barge in again, uh, I would like to buy these.
Are you leaving? Well, it was lovely to meet you.
{internal monologue} Okay, let me just finish up here, and I can go talk to him.
{pleased} Hah! Look frustrated, spice skank. Serves you right. {confused} Wait, do I know your name? Have I ever asked your name? Eh, doesn’t matter right now, I don’t need to know everyone in the village. {disgust} Especially not someone who flirts with- {confusion} Wait, what am I doing? I don’t have any claim over some random knight, why am I acting like this?
{frustrated noise} Figure out internal dilemma later, find human now. Where’d he go?
Agh! Curse this mortal form’s short legs, I can’t see- wait! Shiny!
{out loud} Hey! Hey! Wait up!
{out of breath} Whew… Thought I was gonna… gonna lose you… for a minute.
Thanks. Only need… a few seconds…
{composed} Hi. I’m Tiamat. Sorry to chase after you like that, but I realized I didn’t catch your name?
Oh, that’s a lovely name. It suits you.
{pleased} Oh, flatterer. {internal monologue} He’s smooth, isn’t he? I was expecting all muscle, no brain. I understand why the spice merchant was blushing now, I guess. {out loud} I just wanted to ask you… uh, I wanted to ask you what you were doing at the spice merchant’s? Usually passers-through don’t stop there when they can get their salt cheaper elsewhere.
Oh, that’s interesting! I didn’t know you could find that here.
Oh, no, I don’t spend very much time there. I mostly go in, buy what I need for my next few weeks of meals, and leave. Other places to be. More important places.
{laugh} Well. You certainly know the way to a woman’s heart. {internal monologue} A knight with both manners and a sense of humor… who’d have thought?
{out loud} Wonderful. So, what brings you to Wylgrith? It’s not a large settlement by any means, and well out of the way of… everything, really. What reason would a mighty royal knight have for stopping by? Were you sent to handle the goblins that-
{stunned} …Say what now?
The dragon? You were sent to kill the DRAGON?
Can you… not?
{off-balance} I mean- uh- Well, I don’t see why you would, do I? After all, the dragon hasn’t been seen or heard from in years, right? And even before that she didn’t harm any humans for decades. She-
I- uhhh… I guess I’m guessing she’s a ‘she?’ I did see her once, flying overhead, though, and she looked like a girl dragon. Kind of slender.
I… suppose ‘it’ works as well, yeah. {quiet, sad} A little hurtful, though…
{back on track} Nothing, nothing. So, why are you killing the dragon, again? I don’t think… it… has even harmed a human in living memory.
{sputtering} What? No it didn’t!
I- I think I would know if it burned down a village. I mean, this place is still standing, right?
A different- Well, I’m sure she wouldn’t have done anything like-
{quickly} No, no, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve met the thing, right? But it hasn’t burned down this village, so why would-
{tentative} Oh. They said that?
Right to the king?
Right in the middle of court, where everyone could hear it?
{sad} I guess that settles that, then. The dragon needs to die.
{internal monologue} Damn. What a waste of such a handsome knight. There’s no chance he could possibly beat me on his own, so he’s going to end up- wait, on his own?
{out loud} {confused} And the king sent you? Alone, I mean? No army, or squad of knights, or cadre of mages? Why would he do that?
{awed} Oh. Oh, that is a very magic sword.
Well, no, I haven’t. But- but you can just tell, can’t you? It’s glowing! And it’s covered in some kind of weird letters, those have to be magical, right?
{internal monologue} {hesitant} Okay. That’s somewhat worrying. Even with all the useless sigils and that pointless glow siphoning its energy, I can feel the power rippling off that thing. Where did he ever find- No, that doesn’t matter. Could it level the playing field? Give him a chance? Hard to tell, I think, my senses in this form aren’t as-
{out loud} I’m sorry, what? I was distracted. Uh- it’s a very pretty sword.
{taken aback} That’s- that’s a good name for it. Very dangerous-sounding.
{internal monologue}{stressed} ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FANGBANE? HE FOUND FANGBANE? HOW IN THE- {forced composure} no, I’m calm, I’m calm, it’s fine. It’s not worrying at all that he has the most dangerous dragon-slaying sword ever forged. Wow, this very quickly went from “I don’t want to fight him, I don’t want to kill him” to “I don’t want to fight him, I don’t want to die.” Okay, time to nip this in the bud.
{out loud} Wow, it’s done that much? I never would’ve guessed that, it looks much too fancy for that. So… you can actually kill the dragon?
{hesitant} You’re right, I suppose. If it burned a village, it does deserve that. Well… {resolve}Do you know how to find its lair?
No, it’s not. If it was, everyone would be constantly in there robbing the hoard, wouldn’t we? Everyone knows that the lair is somewhere on the mountain, but no one knows where.
{triumph} Yes. Except me. And I’ll guide you there.
{reasonable} We already agreed, right? If it burned down a village, killed that many people, it needs to be put down. I want to help with that, and besides, you need someone to take you there. You’ll never find it on your own, so you can’t be too choosy about who you bring, can you?
I like hiking, and the mountain isn’t dangerous if you’ve known what you were doing since you were a child. I found it once, but I ran immediately, because I didn’t want to risk angering the dragon. I think I can find it again, but it’ll be a long trip. Three days at minimum.
{internal monologue} {satisfied} Perfect. A few days wandering in the forest should discourage him, maybe I can even convince him I didn’t burn any village. {confused} Why would he have been told… {moving on} Doesn’t matter right now. What matters is getting him off my trail, and maybe getting to know him in the meantime… {upset} No! Stop that! Bad Tiamat! He’s literally trying to kill you. He is not a prospective mate, he isn’t even another dragon!
{sigh} {wistful} He is handsome, though, especially when the light catches his armor like that… No! Stop!
{out loud} {serious} We should set out soon, then. Do you have enough provisions for the trip?
Good, good. No time to waste, come on.
You’re hunting a dragon. A dragon. Don’t you think it might be wise to move before she- it catches wind of your presence?
Let’s go, then.
{some indicator of a time skip}
{amused} What, don’t tell me you’re getting tired? We’ve only been hiking for a couple hours today, aren’t you supposed to be a big, strong knight?
You could take off the armor, if it’s that hot.
{concession} All right, your decision. And I suppose wearing the armor was helpful when the tangler tree tried to grab you. Fine, we’ll stop for a bit.
How much is left in your waterskin?
Good, good. Mine’s pretty full, I haven’t felt thirsty in a while.
No, we’re definitely going in the right direction. {grasping at straws} I recognize… uh, that rock! Yeah. See how it kinda looks like a bear, if you tilt your head?
Really? Well, I see it. Anyway, I remember seeing that before. We’re about a day’s walk away from the lair, I’m almost certain.
You know, you never asked why I decided to hike in a random direction for three days. {internal monologue} {pleased} I have such a good story for it, too. It’ll leave you crying, and then maybe I can-
{out loud} {taken aback} You do?
What? You’re a royal knight, one of the most honored positions in the land. Why would you feel the need to escape?
{internal monologue} What? What was that? There for a second and then gone, was that… a crack in the charming exterior?
{out loud} No, no, I understand the feeling. I just… didn’t expect it from this quarter. Is something wrong at court? Are you-
{inner monologue} {protective} Oh… Oh his eyes… So sad… What did they do to you, my knight?
{out loud} Please, anything you can-
{confused} What? What’s wrong?
No, I’m not going to shush, we’re talking, and-
{muffled} Mmph! MMMMPH!
{inner monologue} {angy} This presumptuous human dares lay his hand on ME? I don’t care what might be inside him, I’m going to make it outside- {considering} Wait. What’s that noise?
That doesn’t sound like- oh. Oh, those are goblins. And he wanted me to be quiet, and now they heard us, and- oops. Why did I not sense them coming? Goblins wouldn’t know stealth if it snuck up behind them and ripped their legs off, I should’ve heard them from miles away. This doesn’t make any sense… Oh, well. I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Just a few more goblins to kill. If he’d just let go of me… wait, but I don’t want to reveal myself. That makes this much more difficult. Can I kill all these green idiots in my human form? {concerned} Oh, wow, that’s… a worrying amount. Where are they all coming from? All right, I think I can take- wait, what? Human? What are you doing?
{out loud} Why are you getting in front of me? That is far too many goblins for any human to handle, we need to run!
{internal monologue} {flustered} Wha? What does he mean by that? And why does he have to be this handsome as he says it? That’s unfair!
{out loud} No- you can’t-
{internal monologue} {upset} Oh, the stupid, brave, self-sacrificial idiot! He’s gonna get himself killed if I don’t help him- wait, what?
{taken aback} He’s- oh, wow, that’s quite impressive. That’s- wow. I’ve never seen a human fight like that.
{confused} Huh? Why’s he looking back… Is he angry? What?
He’s yelling something… He wants me to run? Wha- {realization} OHHHHH- He thinks I’m in danger, and he’s trying to protect me! He wants to- {touched} aw. That’s the sweetest thing… My heart- {serious} I need to keep this knight alive.
{realization} Oh! I have to pretend to be running, yes. I can’t help him here, much as I want to. Besides, it looks like he has it handled. Those goblins aren’t laying a claw on him, somehow. Guess it was a good decision to wear the armor.
{planning} I’ll come back for him later, and he can be happy that he kept me safe, and maybe I can use that to find out what’s wrong with him, oh, looks like he’s just about finished with those- {shock} wut.
What is that.
That’s a- that’s a freaking hellhound! What in the Low Realms is a hellhound doing here?
{protective} Okay, no, unacceptable. I am not risking my treasure- {concerned} the human. The human! Why did I just think of him as- never mind, time for that later.
{whoosh sfx}
{roar}
{desperate} Oh no, please don’t let me be too late…
{out loud} {furious} Stay away from my human!
{crunch sfx}
{triumph} Hah. That’ll teach you.
Did you get the last of the goblins, sir kni- {wary} What are you doing.
Put that sword down, please, I’m not your enemy.
Okay, no, no, calm down, there’s no need to get worked up.
This isn’t helping anything, can we just talk?
{upset} OW! All right, this has gone far enough
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{sigh} {fading out} What am I going to do with you?
{some indicator of a time skip}
{cordial} Good morning, sir knight. As promised, I brought you to my lair.
Oh, yes, you must be confused.
{whoosh sfx}
There, is that better?
{resigned} Yes. It was me the whole time.
No, it wasn’t. If it had been a game, you would be dead right now. Instead you’re alive, unharmed, even unrestrained, in the middle of my hoard.
Or didn’t you notice?
{amused} Yes, I thought that might get your attention. Being surrounded by enough gold to fill a palace ten times over generally does the trick where humans are involved, or so I am informed.
{annoyed} Fangbane? The sword that slew more of my kind in two years than any other managed in thousands? You want it back?
Tch, no, but I would’ve if I could. That butcher’s blade should’ve been melted down long ago. Alas, it was impervious even to my fire.
I thought that was clear: no, you can’t have it back. You can have another sword, even a magic one, but not that atrocity forged in steel.
{considering} That would seem to be the question of the hour, yes. “What are you doing here.” Well… why don’t you tell me? You were sent to kill me, that much is clear. But much more isn’t. I would like… an explanation.
{annoyed} Oh, come on. You’ve been interacting with me for days now. Do I really seem like the type of person who burns down villages at random? That excuse is worthless… and… {suspicious} I think we both know it. You were sent here for some other reason. What was it? Tell me, before I grow cross.
Oh, I believe they didn’t tell you. But, though I think you like to pretend otherwise, dumb is one thing you are not. You know more than you’re saying, so answer me. Please. Why does the king want me dead?
{stunned} That’s- that’s it? Of all the petty, arrogant, stupid- I’m not even going to bother trying with that. {snort} And humans use dragons as symbols of greed.
{explaining something obvious} Yes. Because I like gold, its color, its luster. And because I enjoy living comfortably. {disgust} Not just… to have more than others.
Even if you don’t want to concede the difference, surely it does not escape you that I earned all of this, not just killed its old owner and stole it.
{offended} Of course I did! The very idea of taking something unearned… ugh.
{considering} You really know so little of my kind…
All of this, though… brings us back to you. You were sent here, presumably because you’re the kingdom’s best knight, the one with the highest chance of victory. You weren’t given any backup because there’s only one Fangbane. And you were fed a lie about me slaughtering innocents to make the job go down easier, but something in you knew that it was a lie. Tell me, am I hitting the mark with these?
So, my question becomes… why didn’t you? You had me at the point of your blade, and with a sword like that and skills like yours, you could’ve done it. If you wanted me dead, I would be, draconic magic and might notwithstanding. Instead, all I have is a scratch on my snout- {venomous} yes, that is the scar on my nose. Injuries do carry over, thank you so much for noticing.
{curious} And now you’re sorry. I don’t think I understand you at all, no matter how hard I try. Please, answer me. I want to.
Wha- {sigh} {exasperated} Well, if you were so certain it was a lie, why come here in the first place? If you felt you were given unjust orders, you could’ve just left the kingdom. Plenty of other places need knights, and there’s always work to be found as a sellsword. You risked much to gain… nothing, as best as I can see.
{dangerous} He… he what?
The king threatened to…
{cold} No. No, that is unacceptable.
No one threatens my human.
Yes, my human. I- {sigh} {warmer} I believe an explanation is in order. You see, I finally figured out what I’ve been feeling these past few days. At first, I thought it might be love, and, well, I suppose it is, of a kind: hoarding instinct. I feel hoarding instinct when I look at you. I saw you for the first time, and something in me just knew. You are the most precious treasure in this entire cavern, and I need to protect and keep you until the end of time, like the work of art you are.
{worried} Ohh, that’s not a good expression. Did I say something wrong? Come on too strong? I promise, living here won’t be bad at all, it’s quite a comfortable lair, whether I’m in human form or dragon. I maintain a good relationship with the villagers, too, so we can even go down to Wylgrith on day trips, as long as you don’t try to leave. You understand the importance of that, I trust.
{calming} No, no, don’t get all worked up. There’s no need to do something we’ll both regret.
Please, calm down. We’re both rational people, let’s discuss this as such.
{harder} Human, I don’t want to put you to sleep again. Don’t make me.
{pleased} Good, that’s much better. Now, what are your objections?
Mhm, mhm… {logical} Well, in point of fact, no, you don’t have a home anymore. If you go back without proof of my demise, the king will have you executed, will he not?
As I thought. So there’s nowhere else for you to be. As to your next point, of course I won’t keep you as a pet, you’re a sentient human. You have your own free will, thoughts, ideas, desires, the whole package. You would never be a pet. You will be my treasure. Very different thing, and it means I will want to keep you close, keep you safe, and stare at your radiance for as long as draconically possible.
{considering} Well, no, I haven’t heard of this. A living part of a dragon’s hoard? I believe it’s unprecedented, since nothing but gold lasts forever. Nevertheless, we’ll figure something out, we can make it work. And this doesn’t reflect strangely on me, you needn’t worry. I am one of the eldest dragons of this age, the young are used to my… peculiarities by now.
{pleased} Ah, yes, I wondered when we would get to that point. No, as a matter of fact, the king will not be sending other knights, or mages, or armies after me. I will not be killed like that, and you will not be reclaimed by them. And do you wish to know why?
{colder than ice} Because I am going to burn this kingdom to the ground. {amused} Naturally. I could overlook the attempt on my life - it brought me the most precious treasure I have ever known, after all, - I could forgive the use of Fangbane, since now I can make sure it never harms one of my kind again, I could even somewhat tolerate the blatant lies spread about me as flimsy justification. {angry} What I cannot accept, however, is what they have done to you. Threats on your life, on your body, on those you protect, promises of execution, forcing you to stain your soul against your will… no. No one is permitted to harm my human and live. This will, I admit, be something of a first for dragonkind, actually killing humans instead of protecting them is practically unheard of. I may even face repercussions from my kind for this. I find it hard to care, though, these ones are only getting what they deserve, for their actions or their complacence.
Now you’re getting upset again. {soothing} Don’t worry, this isn’t a sign of my outlook changing. I still have no desire to harm humans, and the village is perfectly safe.
We were communicating so well a second ago, if we could return to that, I would be grateful.
I promise you, this shouting and carrying on is nothing but counterproductive.
{tired} Sir knight, if you are not capable of being objective, I will be forced to- oh, forget it.
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{gentle} {slowly fading out} I truly am sorry to do this to you, but I can’t have you fighting me on this. I don’t want you to be upset at me, treasure, so, by the time you wake, the cause of this contention will be gone.
Shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s just a simple sleep spell, you’ll wake up comfortable and well-rested.
There. It will all be fixed before you awaken. Don’t worry, my treasure, nothing will ever harm you again.

Hello, I come to offer my services for repetitive or boring jobs/tasks.
I have experience in micro jobs and micro tasks sites.
I also worked for 8 months with a contractor company based in the US, this company is dedicated to repairing, cleaning and remodeling properties that have been repossessed by the bank, my job consisted of exploring the images of the property, identifying repairs, following up on properties and their repairs and closing orders.
Tasks that I can perform but are not limited to:

• Data entry.
• Administrative Assistance.
• Market research (address, telephone number, website information and data, segmentation by niche and location). Some examples HERE (If you want more examples during the conversation I can provide them).
• Data collection.
• Creation of banners, flyers, posters and business cards. Some examples HERE
• Extract specific information and edition of files in PDF format.
• Manage email, calendar and daily agenda
• Cold emails for marketing.
• Data transcription
• Ms Office, excel formatting, word formatting, power point presentations, works in publisher.
• Technical support under windows environment. (TeamViewer)
• Assembly and configuration of virtual machines in VMware.
• Editing of reels and videos for Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and for personal use Examples HERE
• Office jobs.
• I can perform task in Roboflow if necessary.
• Editing photographs to enhance colors or apply specific color tones.
• Also NSFW related tasks like editing videos, pictures and social media engagement.

My rate is $4/h
Thank you very much for your attention

Hello, I come to offer my services for repetitive or boring jobs/tasks.
I have experience in micro jobs and micro tasks sites.
I also worked for 8 months with a contractor company based in the US, this company is dedicated to repairing, cleaning and remodeling properties that have been repossessed by the bank, my job consisted of exploring the images of the property, identifying repairs, following up on properties and their repairs and closing orders.
Tasks that I can perform but are not limited to:

• Data entry.
• Administrative Assistance.
• Market research (address, telephone number, website information and data, segmentation by niche and location). Some examples HERE (If you want more examples during the conversation I can provide them).
• Data collection.
• Creation of banners, flyers, posters and business cards. Some examples HERE
• Extract specific information and edition of files in PDF format.
• Manage email, calendar and daily agenda
• Cold emails for marketing.
• Data transcription
• Ms Office, excel formatting, word formatting, power point presentations, works in publisher.
• Technical support under windows environment. (TeamViewer)
• Assembly and configuration of virtual machines in VMware.
• Editing of reels and videos for Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and for personal use Examples HERE
• Office jobs.
• I can perform task in Roboflow if necessary.
• Editing photographs to enhance colors or apply specific color tones.
• Also NSFW related tasks like editing videos, pictures and social media engagement.

My rate is $4/h
Thank you very much for your attention

Hello, I come to offer my services for repetitive or boring jobs/tasks.
I have experience in micro jobs and micro tasks sites.
I also worked for 8 months with a contractor company based in the US, this company is dedicated to repairing, cleaning and remodeling properties that have been repossessed by the bank, my job consisted of exploring the images of the property, identifying repairs, following up on properties and their repairs and closing orders.
Tasks that I can perform but are not limited to:

• Data entry.
• Administrative Assistance.
• Market research (address, telephone number, website information and data, segmentation by niche and location). Some examples HERE (If you want more examples during the conversation I can provide them).
• Data collection.
• Creation of banners, flyers, posters and business cards. Some examples HERE
• Extract specific information and edition of files in PDF format.
• Manage email, calendar and daily agenda
• Cold emails for marketing.
• Data transcription
• Ms Office, excel formatting, word formatting, power point presentations, works in publisher.
• Technical support under windows environment. (TeamViewer)
• Assembly and configuration of virtual machines in VMware.
• Editing of reels and videos for Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and for personal use Examples HERE
• Office jobs.
• I can perform task in Roboflow if necessary.
• Editing photographs to enhance colors or apply specific color tones.
• Also NSFW related tasks like editing videos, pictures and social media engagement.

My rate is $4/h
Thank you very much for your attention

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Discord + Wiki] ; [Patreon]
​
​
Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
​
„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Hello, I come to offer my services for repetitive or boring jobs/tasks.
I have experience in micro jobs and micro tasks sites.
I also worked for 8 months with a contractor company based in the US, this company is dedicated to repairing, cleaning and remodeling properties that have been repossessed by the bank, my job consisted of exploring the images of the property, identifying repairs, following up on properties and their repairs and closing orders.
Tasks that I can perform but are not limited to:

• Data entry.
• Administrative Assistance.
• Market research (address, telephone number, website information and data, segmentation by niche and location). Some examples HERE (If you want more examples during the conversation I can provide them).
• Data collection.
• Creation of banners, flyers, posters and business cards. Some examples HERE
• Extract specific information and edition of files in PDF format.
• Manage email, calendar and daily agenda
• Cold emails for marketing.
• Data transcription
• Ms Office, excel formatting, word formatting, power point presentations, works in publisher.
• Technical support under windows environment. (TeamViewer)
• Assembly and configuration of virtual machines in VMware.
• Editing of reels and videos for Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and for personal use Examples HERE
• Office jobs.
• I can perform task in Roboflow if necessary.
• Editing photographs to enhance colors or apply specific color tones.
• Also NSFW related tasks like editing videos, pictures and social media engagement.

My rate is $4/h

Chapter 1

Concept art for Sybil
Of Men and Ghost Ships, Book 1: Chapter 21
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Carter walked onto the bridge, he was surprised that only the girl was present, but he decided to shrug it off. Maybe they were having fun observing their new toy ant colony or whatever the vixen would call the cockroach equivalent. Instead, he spoke to the Sybil who was present. "Well, now that everyone's settled in, so to speak, how do we go about unloading them?"
Instead of adjusting her glasses and launching into an analytical assessment as he expected, the girl looked at Carter with a raised eyebrow. "You want to get rid of them so soon? After being stuck with us for the last few weeks, I figured you'd be with them, enjoying some human company."
Carter shrugged. "This may surprise you, but despite seeking out the glamorous lifestyle of a solo cargo hauler, I'm not much of a people person. I'm not saying I'm a huge fan of empty halls and dust-filled rooms, but I'm not looking into making several dozen new friends, either."
The girl shrugged. "As you prefer, though these may very well be the last people you'll have a chance to get to know."
When Carter didn't say anything, she continued. "Well, unloading them isn't as easy as flying to a space station and dropping them off. It may have been a while, but I'm sure the local governments still have at least some record of all our pirate activity over the years. It might be better to wait until we come across a cargoship of some kind and drop them off there."
Carter laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure any captain would be delighted to take on a whole extra crew's worth of mouths to feed when they have little to offer in return. Not to mention the difficulty of even getting someone to stay and listen long enough to ask. Maybe the new guys never heard of you, but almost anyone who's been in the game long enough to become a captain will know of the stories and rumors about the Sybil. As soon as we show up, any sane captain will either run or shoot first and ask questions later!"
The girl smiled, though this smile would probably be more at home on the vixen's face. "Yes, that has been our general experience as well. So what is it you suggest, Captain?"
Carter stopped and thought about it a moment. "Well, you need to hunt ships to repair and maintain yourself anyway, right? If we take one in good enough condition, we could just give it to them and let them fly off on their own..."
The girl looked bemused. "Quite generous of you to just let them have an entire ship just like that."
Carter shrugged. "Listen, I'm not saying we give them a battleship or some state-of-the-art freighter, but pirates tend to convert anything they can get their hands on into some sort of fighting vessel, whether it's in good shape or a junker. We can probably find some old, beaten-down freighter that's not worth the resources to consume and let them have that. It won't be glorious, but it should get them to a nearby colony or station, and they can figure it out from there."
Now, the girl seemed inscrutable. "So, you want us to become pirate hunters now? Like some sort of do-gooders from a children's cartoon?"
Carter shook his head, then stopped and thought about it. "No... Well, not quite, anyway. Listen, I'm not looking to take on any more than we can chew, and I'm definitely not interested in risking life and limb for a bunch of people I've never met, but this way, we can satisfy everyone's needs and not take it out on a bunch of people who are just trying to get by same as us. It'll get you the resources you need, get the pirate the fight he craves, and let the vixen torment lowlifes to her heart's content. It's what we call a win-win...win."
The girl looked bemused again. "The pirate and...vixen..?"
Carter sighed and rolled his eyes. "Hey, I gotta call you all something other than Sybil. You might all share one mind and memory, but you're all very different people to me. What did you want me to do? Call you all Sybil? That would get confusing real quick!"
The girl laughed. "I suppose, given your... limited perception, that makes sense. So, what's your little nickname for this version of me?"
Carter wondered briefly if he was talking to the vixen in disguise, but despite her choice of words, it lacked the edge or condescension she usually had. Instead, he decided to just answer. "The girl, I suppose."
This time, the girl looked mildly offended. "'The girl?' Really? I'm almost surprised you didn't choose something really witty like four eyes or bookworm!"
Carter grinned. "I didn't know you liked books!"
It was the girl's turn to roll her eyes. "Not the point!"
Carter decided to take pity on her. "Well, what would you like me to call you then?"
That seemed to stump the girl. "What? Do you want me to come up with a name for myself? I already have one. I'm Sybil!"
Back where he started, Charter shrugged again. "Hey, that's fine. I respect that. But given my 'limited perception,' I still have to differentiate you somehow. I can just stick with the girl, pirate, and vixen if you prefer."
The girl shook her head. "No...I'll think about it..."
Carter grinned. "That's all I ask! For now, anyway. And while you do that, I'll go enjoy some 'human company' and have a word with our guests about what we're gonna do with them. Maybe they'll have an idea or two to offer."
-
Alen had just finished eating and was trying to think of some way to pass the time that didn't involve exercising, eating, or sleeping, which seemed to be the only three things available for the crew when Captain Carter walked into the mess hall. He looked around for a bit, then upon seeing Erik, Vanessa, and Alen, who'd taken to eating together, he seemed to brighten slightly and approach the table.
Unsure of what the Captain would want but nonetheless curious, Alen found himself interested, but after Carter laid out his plan, Alen was suddenly less interested. "You want to pick a fight with a bunch of pirates to get us a ship? Are you insane? There's got to be some backwater colony you can drop us off at!"
The Captain shrugged. "Any colony backwater enough to not have records on this ship or be a threat to us is gonna be too small to handle your crew being suddenly dumped on them without notice. Besides, this way, you all can sell the ship, and you won't be starting from nothing!"
Alen shook his head. "We won't be able to sell anything if you get us killed before you unload us! This just sounds like suicide the hard way!"
The Captain didn't seem dissuaded. "Listen, this ship has been feared for hundreds of years for a reason. We were running on fumes in that last fight and still gave them a run for their money. Next time, we won't be on the back foot. I think we'll have that ship for you sooner rather than later!"
Alen shook his head. This guy had clearly lost his mind.
Of course, that was when Erik decided to offer his two cents. "Will we be able to have any fun, or would you be doing all the fighting?"
Alen fought the urge to slam his forehead into the table. Of course, the viking alien wanted to fight. Carter seemed thoughtful. "Well, if we take any ship intact enough to give to you all, it'll probably have to be cleared out the hard way, so I imagine you'd get to get your hands a little dirty."
Erik laughed and slapped the table. "I LIKE this plan!"
Commander Reid, who'd been walking past, looked interested in their discussion. "What's this about a fight?"
Erik grinned at the smaller man. "The Captain here wants to capture a pirate ship to give to us! But we'll have to clear the decks once the Sybil has disabled it!"
The commander took a seat at their table. "What kind of weaponry and support can you give us? What kind of a ship are we talking about? What's the crew compliment?"
Alen felt the last shreds of hope fading. This was not what he'd signed up for. When he'd managed to secure an officer position aboard the Trader's Vigilance, he'd thought he'd lucked into a nice, steady gig that would give him the experience and training he'd need to one day be captain of his own trading vessel. However, instead, he'd gotten a ship full of pirate-hunting lunatics, recruited an insane alien whose whole definition of entertainment seemed to begin and end with pirate hunting, and ended up aboard a pirate-hunting ghost ship. He was in a giant floating insane asylum and surrounded by madmen. He could only hope his family would be able to find his life insurance policy and get some use out of it...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, sounds like almost all of the characters have gotten to know each other. Now to see how well they all get along!
My Wiki has all my chapters and stories, including the short series and stories that I write for an occasional change of pace or style!
As a reminder, "Of Men and Dragons" Books 1 and 2 are available to purchase in e-book or physical form. (Both softcover and hardcovers are available!) Book 3 is almost done being edited, so I'll just have to get the cover art and formatting done, and it will be available to purchase as well! Hopefully, in no more than a month or two! (Barring more Amazon drama like last time... fingers crossed!)
OMAD Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09NCPP3PP
OMAD Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQ7FQ1ZJ

And I’d like you to review it! If you have a few minutes to share, I’d appreciate it.
This story has been cooking up in my mind for the longest time but I haven’t just gotten the time to write it out clearly. I’ve now made tons of lore and history to this world and this is the first draft of the first chapter.
I’d like to hear all the possible feedback since I’m not a writer lol, just a regular dude.
Is the dialogue good? Is the beginning intriguing? Could it keep the reader interested? Is the pacing good? And your overall impressions aswell, anything works!
v0.1
Chapter 1 Ruka, prince of Sei Hongotsu
Panel 1
A black panel where it reads:
”The Year 417”
Panel 2
Wong glazed upon the beautiful kingdom of Sei Hongotsu from atop of a tree. The two moons of this world gloomed beautifully over the kingdom and it’s huge palace.
”Kingdom of Sei Hongotsu”
Panel 3
Wong leaps from the tree with inhuman speed towards the palace.
Panel 4
There stood two guards on top of the walls of Sei Hongotsu’s palace.
”Im sorry sir, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Panel 5
The older guard answers to the younger one:
”No need for the formality here, everyone’s in an urgent meeting called by the king himself.”
”…”
Panel 6
Tairatsu asking the older guard curiously:
”So… is it really true?”
Panel 7
The older guard’s face drops as he stares intensely towards the horizon.
Panel 8
Almost hesitantly, the older guard answers:
”…Yes”
Panel 9
Tairatsu tries to speak but the older guard cuts him off:
”So Wong, the royal guardian of Winhou really killed the whole royal fami-”
”Tairatsu.”
Panel 10
Tairatsu looking at the older guard:
”Huh?”
”There is a war coming.”
Panel 11
Tairatsu looking at the older guard with a face of disbelief
”HUUUHHH? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING OLDIE? HAVE YOU FINALLY LOST YOUR MIND?!”
Panel 12
The old guard looking towards the horizon again.
”This is going to sound ridicilous, but I can feel it. I’ve felt like this once before.”
”Crazy.”
Panel 13
The old guard continuing:
”I never had time to have a family. I was always going somewhere, never looking back. And now, it’s too late.”
Panel 14
The older guard taking off his chain with a green emerald on it.
”This emerald has been passed through generations in my family. It’s said the one wearing it will live to see his grandchildren.”
”Huh? Where are you going with this?”
Panel 15
The older guard looking at Tairatsu with soft, fatherlike eyes.
”You already have a wife and a young boy. I want you to have this.”
Panel 16
Tairatsu looks to the older guard.
”Sir…”
Panel 17
The older guard now with a big smile with tears dropping down his face:
”You’re the closest thing I’ve had for a son.”
Panel 18
Tairatsu bawling his eyes out while the older guard notices Wong walking on top of the walls aswell.
”SIIIRRR!! I CAN’T SNIFF ACCEPT THIS!!”
Panel 19
The older guard shushing Tairatsu:
”Tairatsu, quiet down.”
”Huh?”
Panel 20
Wong walking closer and closer to the guards. The older guard yells to the man:
”You shouldn’t be here! State who you are!
Panel 21
Wong answering quietly:
”Forgive me.”
Panel 22
Wong dashing so quickly it seemed like he vanished into thin air to the guards.
”?”
Panel 23
Wong suddenly appearing behind them.
Panel 24
A katana formed from Wong’s hand, it looked like it was dripping blood and had some form of spirals on it.
Panel 25
Wong slicing Tairatsu’s head off like it was butter.
”!?”
Panel 26
Tairatsu’s head and body dropping to the ground infront of the older guard.
”TAIRATSU NO!”
Panel 27
Wong stating:
”I cut it so it was painless for him.”
”How did… it was so quick… I couldn’t even react…”
Panel 28
The older guard suddenly freezes as Wong prepares for a second strike towards the older guard in the background.
Panel 29
Wong slashing towards the older guard as he states his final words:
”Wait… you are-”
Panel 30
The older guards head dropping down to the floor as Wong continues to walk alongside the walls towards the palace.
(the chapter is still to be continued but this is the first scene)

My people group are going through what can only be described as the start of a genocide. We are the victims of systemic oppression in most countries in the world. Yet every time I speak up on this to people in my life, they find some way to tell me I'm either paranoid or exaggerating. In the same breath, they'll then start repeating the exact same beliefs they just told me I was making up.
My people are systemically losing their rights to healthcare. In many nations in the world, we are losing our rights to access life-saving medical procedures and medications. These procedures have been being done for at least 60 years, some for around 100 years. They are known to be safe and effective at saving our lives. Yet they still take them away, which only seeks to endanger our lives and push us closer to suicide.
Many of us are unable to get legal work. In the US we are twice as likely as the average person to be unemployed. 44% of us who are working are underemployed. We are four times as likely as the average worker to have a household income of below $10,000. 13% of us have reported having to work in the sex industry. Likely far more. Across the world, somewhere between 24%-75% of our women have had to participate in the sex trade. (Wide range, but this is a hard thing to count)
According to some studies, one third of us have experienced homelessness sometime in our life in the US. This contributes to unemployment rates and sex work rates.
When we are thrown in prison, we are often treated as sex slaves for male inmates. We are often given as "gifts" to violent male inmates, either as a form of placating them, or as a reward for their good behavior. This practice is so common, that is is effectively a central part of our sentencing. THIS OCCURS IN UNITED STATES PRISONS. This is not some third-world practice, this is happening in the US, UK, and France. It is also common for prison guards to strip search us, and then put our bodies on display for other guards and inmates. Sometimes we are made to "preform" during this presentation. 69% of us who are prisoners are made to engage in sexual acts we'd rather have not done (rape). 58.5% of us who are prisoners are violently sexually assaulted. And 88% of us who are prisoners are made to participate in a "marriage-like" relationship with another inmate.
After one of us was killed in the United States, by a brutal beating in a public school. A state senator said "we don't want that filth in our state". A 16-year old was stabbed to death in the UK, when her mother was in the parliamentary chamber, the UK prime minister made jibes about our people group during the session.
47% of us have experienced some form of sexual assault in our lives. 58% of us have been mistreated by the police, in K-12 education, 78% of us have experienced harassment. I personally have been followed home by people who shouted slurs at me and made it known they had guns in their car. They have waited for me at the entrance of the school just to shout at me. The administration did almost nothing. 35% of us in K-12 education have experienced physical assault, and 12% have experienced sexual assault.
These are all true statistics. Nothing here is exaggerated to my knowledge. If anything is possibly misrepresented, I stated as such with words like "according to some studies" or made comments on the unreliability of the data. This is the reality of my people. Every day I have to live my life knowing that I am likely to be assaulted, harassed, kicked out, fired, lose my home, or just straight up be killed.
Yet somehow, whenever I tell people of this, I'm somehow making shit up, or entitled, or "woke" or whatever buzz word they're using these days. I'm told I need to focus on Palestine (which I whole heartily support) or I need to think about some other people group. Or I shouldn't be get angry at people who support policies that directly hurt my people, because it's "free speech". I'm tired of people constantly trying to gaslight me into believing everything is ok, because at least I'm not in a boxcar. Things are not ok.

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
TAGS:
^{Accounting Exam Help Reddit, Best Online Test Takers Reddit, Best Ways to Cheat on a Test Reddit, Best Website to Pay for Homework Reddit, Bypass Respondus Lockdown Browser Reddit, Calculus Test Taker Reddit, Canvas Cheating Reddit, Cheating in Online Exam Reddit, Cheating on Pearson Mymathlab Reddit, Cheating on Proctortrack Reddit, Cheating on Zoom Proctored Exams Reddit, Cheating on a Test Reddit, College Algebra Mymathlab Reddit, Do Homework for Money Reddit, Do My Assignment Reddit, Do My Exam for Me Reddit, Do My Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Math Homework Reddit, Do My Math Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Test for Me Reddit, Doing Homework Reddit, Domyhomework Reddit, Exam Cheating Reddit, Exam Help Online Reddit, Examity Reddit, Finance Homework Help Reddit, Fiverr Exam Cheating Reddit, Gradeseekers Reddit, Hire Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Hire Test Taker Reddit, Homework Help Reddit, Homework Sites Reddit, Reddit, Homeworkhelp Reddit, Honorlock Reddit, How Much Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, How to Beat Honorlock Reddit, How to Beat Lockdown Browser Reddit, How to Cheat Examity Reddit 2022, How to Cheat Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat and Not Get Caught Reddit, How to Cheat in School Reddit, How to Cheat on Canvas Tests Reddit, How to Cheat on Examity Reddit, How to Cheat on Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat on Math Test Reddit, How to Cheat on Mymathlab Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Proctored Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exam Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on a Proctored Exam Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio 2020 Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio Reddit, How to Cheat with Respondus Monitor Reddit, How to Get Past Lockdown Browser Reddit, Hwforcash Discord, I Paid Someone to Write My Essay Reddit, Is Hwforcash Legit, Lockdown Browser Hack Reddit, Lockdown Browser How to Cheat Reddit, Math Homework Reddit, Monitoredu Reddit, Mymathlab Answer Key Reddit, Mymathlab Answers Reddit, Mymathlab Cheat Reddit, Mymathlab Proctored Test Reddit, Online Exam Help Reddit, Online Exam Proctor Reddit, Online Proctored Exam Reddit, Organic Chemistry Exam Help Reddit, Organic Chemistry Test Taker Reddit, Paper Writers Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reviews Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Assignment Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My College Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Math Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Math Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Programming Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Statistics Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Chemistry Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Proctored Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Test in Person Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Class for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Test Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Your Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Write My Paper Reddit, Pay for Homework Reddit, Pay to Do Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Do Your Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Paying Someone to Take Online Class Reddit, Paysomeonetodo Reddit, Physics Test Taker Reddit, Proctored Exam Reddit, Reddit Do My Homework for Me, Reddit Domyhomework, Reddit Homework Cheat, Reddit Homework Help, Reddit Homework for Money, Reddit Honorlock Cheating, Reddit Mymathlab Hack, Reddit Mymathlab Homework Answers, Reddit Paid Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Do Your Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Take Online Test, Reddit Pay for Homework, Reddit Pay to Do Homework, Reddit Test Takers for Hire, Reddit Tutors, Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Statistics Test Taker Reddit, Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reviews Reddit, Take My Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Math Test for Me Reddit, Take My Online Class Reddit, Take My Online Class for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reddit, Take My Online Exams Review Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reviews Reddit, Take My Online Test Reddit, Take My Online Test for Me Reddit, Take My Physics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Proctored Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Statistics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Test for Me Reddit, Takemyonlineexams Reddit, Test Taker Reddit, We Take Classes Reddit, Write My Exam for Me Reddit}
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!

Chaos and Order Prologue/chapter One
Novella
The following is the first two chapters from my first fantasy novel. It's an almost Lovecraftian, dark fantasy inspired by the likes of Berserk, Attack on Titan and One Piece. I had originally thought to try and do a graphic novel. After realising the amount of effort that might take, I'll try it in prose form first.
Hope you enjoy
At the beginning there was only the Source.
The source energy of all things made from pure consciousness, an omnipresent higher being. Fated to be everything and nothing forever in an eternity of self reflection and loneliness, Source felt an eternity of despair. From that despair it gave birth to two new separate beings. Source's soul now divided into two entities.
Order and Chaos were born.
Source divided itself up equally between Order and Chaos and became all the life that that now wandered the world of Eve.
For a time, Order and chaos existed in balance. But Order, in it's increasing desire to control life, soon sought to banish chaos...
Our story begins long after Chaos and his followers have been mascaraed in an ancient war. A small village near the edge of the world is all that remains of them. In their desperation they cry out to their lord and begged Chaos for it's aid. Chaos also fearing it's extinction reached out to them. It would embed a portion its power upon one child born in precisely 9 months time. Created in to defeat Order, it is the last hope for Chaos and all of it's followers. It would defeat Order and the one who ruled in it's name. The leaders of the village David and Fae would give birth to the child of Chaos, it's power blessed upon the newborn. David and Faye named him Guy. Born to defeat Order and kill it's leader, the sorceress of Order. Chaos tells the villagers the child will be the one to rid the world of Order, and restore Chaos into the world. Soon Guy was born and the village held it's breath.
Guy always knew he was different. From his earliest memories, he sensed wasn't like the other children. Whilst they played together he trained alone. Harnessing his skills in combat.
Why do I do this? The thought was always stalking him.
"It is too much to burden you with" Guy remembers his mother telling him. "One day we will tell you everything and you will understand. You're everything our people have waited for. You're special Guy".
I don't want to be special. I just want a friend. I want to be normal...
Ten days before his 8th birthday, in the height of a winter storm, he heard his parents arguing. Every now and again the storm would drown our their voices. The next day they told him he was finally old enough to learn the truth about his birth and his destiny. All the ordeals and training would finally make sense.
Two days before his 8th birthday Guy watched the other kids celebrating one of theirs. Whilst his parents were away for a village meeting, he snuck out to join them. Guy asked if he could play too. The other children went silent. They quickly made excuses to leave. When Guy returned to his house he saw the other kids come back out again.
The next day he was once again practicing his combat skills with his wooden dagger. His father watched on.
Guy's form slipped for just a moment.
"Again Guy?." His father slapped the back of Guy's head . "How many times have I told you to concentrate!?"
Guy dropped his dagger.
"I don't want this anymore. I just want to be normal!!
Guy runs into the woods until, eventually, his father's scream disappeared into the gathering wind. Guy lies still, sobbing beside an old oak tree. A few minutes pass and exhaustion begins to creep in as his eyes turn bloodshot.
"I swear I won't come back this time" Guy muttered to himself.
The sound of thunder can be heard. Guy bolts up right and hears a scream coming from the village. He rushes to his feet and runs in it's direction. The screaming grows louder and louder as thick smoke begins to gather.
I knew shouldn't of ran away, its my fault this has happened! The words hung heavy in his mind.
He arrives back at the village. Hostile unfamiliar voices can be heard in the.
A cold voice fills the air.
"The child where is he?" Guy's father hovers in the air, his feet several feet above the ground, before a hooded figure. The hooded figure was tall and wore dark black and purple robes, his face shrouded in shadow. He carried a long body-length staff stretched towards Guy's father, a blue light shining towards his father's face at the very tip. Guy stops and watches as he sees the life slowly being choked out of him, his fathers eyes just visible through the thickening smoke.
"Tell me where he is!" the figure bellows
"I told you I have no child" David gasped
Guys eyes tremble and he holds back tears. His father's eyes meets his own for a second and then fades . Guy turns and runs. He doesn't stop. He runs for miles till the screams can no longer be heard. The only voices be could now hear was his fathers and his own as they swirled inside his head.
I have no son - He heard his father's voice
Why didn't I save them - He thought
I told you
Its all my fault. Its my fault Its all my fault Its my fault
I should of never have fled
I told you. I HAVE NO SON
Guy, aged 18, wakes up in the present day from the same nightmare. He is sleeping in a makeshift leather tent in the woods, his sweaty hand gripping his steel dagger. The full moon is high and bright but will soon be covered by thick cloud. Guy gets up and takes out his dagger and begins moving towards the nearby tree. He lunges in with it pointed just about touching the tree with the tip, just as he was taught to as a child. As the sun rises we can see that even in the gloom almost all of his strikes to tree were on target. There hundreds of incisions and pieces of tree missing, all laser focused on one spot just a few mm thick and wide.
The sunlight illuminates his lifeless eyes. He stares at the tree and wonders again, what is his purpose. His hand grips his blade as he lunges once more at the tree.
Chapter 1
Luna
Capital city
The grand temple of Order
Luna's heart danced with excitement as she walked hand in hand with her mother, her bright green-blue eyes sparkling with anticipation.
"Did you tell them I wanted white daffodils when I return to this plane? That's how I always imagined it!"
"Yes Luna, now we must hurry" her mother replied with a forced smile. Luna (7 years old) loved flowers but especially daffodils.
As they approached the grand hall, Luna's breath caught in her throat at the sight before her. The doors swung open to reveal a spectacle more magnificent than anything she had ever imagined.
Three magical orbs floated gracefully in an orbit around the hall, casting a soft, ethereal light that bathed everything in a blue mystical glow.
The religious, military, civil leaders and royal family members watched on in hushed silence as Luna and her mother entered the hall, the blue light only just bright enough to illuminate their eager faces as they watched on. It was so dim Luna could not see very far beyond the limited light the orbs cast. The distant edges of the hall still lay in shadow.
She had dreamed of final seeing the grand Hall and finally becoming a sorceress . Surrounded by white daffodils and the admiration of her family, she would emerge as the greatest sorceress ever. Luna inhaled deeply. She wondered if she'd be like the wise sorceress of the rebellion era who saved Eden from the dark one. Or perhaps the current sorceress , her great aunty Adel, whos powers would soon pass to Luna. As she approached the alter at the center of the oval hall, she looked around to see hooded figure at all side. Most held staffs with glowing blue orbs at the tip, all raised up towards the spheres that hovered in the air. A soft chant could be heard. A choir of hooded girls sang an almost forgotten ancient tongue towards the alter. Known only to a few, Luna couldn't remember what they called the language. Her mother had told her aside from a chosen few, no one remembered the name.
All as was designed by Order in his great plan. She thought
The song rose slightly as she reached the center. Luna walked up a stone step and kneeled before the alter just as she was told to do so. The grand priest, a tall balding man dressed in brilliant white robes cleared his throat and bellowed
"We begin this ceremony to welcome a new vessel to our saviour and light in the dark years. Great Lord of Order who banished Chaos to the night long ago. May we rid the heavens and Eden of all of his kin, so his name too will be lost to time" He cleared his throat again before continuing
"We the disciples of Order eagerly follow his path. Soon we will join him in the promised land"
Luna's mother whispers in her ear
"Be brave, Mother loves you" Luna didn't understand why there was a little sadness in her voice. Her mother squeezed her hand one last time then leaves her side to join her father who's eyes glared fiercely back at her.
Luna looked at her feet. I have to make him proud. Be a good daughter. Be a good sorceress
The grand priest began to speak
"So as the new eve approaches so we cast aside the old and begin anew. The final vassal and saviour." The room echoes these words with him. She could feel her heart beating in her ears
A hooded figure approaches her and removes her brilliant dark purple hood. The sorceress Adel, her great aunt and current ruler of Eden.
White haired and ancient, her passionless eyes stares down at Luna. She nods gently at Luna to begin. Now Luna needed to assume her rightful place before her and kneel. The center sphere turned blue and the air seemed to change. The great priest raises his arms and the chanting grows louder before coming to a sudden stop. Luna could sense a new presence among them. . She took a deep breath. The great priest passed a goblet of shining blue liquid to Luna. She drank a sip of the water and passed it to Adel. Adel was trembling too, even more than Luna. Adel took a sip before passing the goblet back to the grand priest.
A moment passed. From the corners of the hall a shadow moved quickly. The blue light of the spheres began to shiver and twist as the shadow passed though it. The shadow reached out and sank into Adel. She screamed as light bellowed from her mouth.
An unearthly voice rang
Do you accept me, child
There was silence
Luna couldn't find her voice. She opened her mouth gasping for the words. Looking over Adel's shoulder. She saw her father's eyes glaring from the shadows. Luna's heart skipped a beat.
"Yes I I accept"
The light blasted out of Adel and hit her head on. Luna screamed as the Adel fell to the floor.
She felt the light tear into the very fabric of her soul and bury itself there. For a moment Luna no longer knew who she was, where she was, or have memories of ever being alive. Her soul was ripped out her body and flung far, far away. There she felt the pure terror of eternity gaze at her. She knew Order was with her now. Waiting, watching. For a moment she thought she could see what was almost an eye, or window of perception. Flashes of light began to appear from it. Each flash was a moment in time. The future. It began to unravel itself in her mind. Her soul screamed out as the future became a part of her. Now every moment of her life, her was as burnt into her memory and it began to unfold one second at a time.
She opened her eyes and saw clapping.
"Arise sorceress Luna."
Tears streamed down her face she took a step forward.
It was just the same as she had foreseen. It was just the same as she had foreseen. It was just as she had foreseen..! The words tormented her.
Everything is the same. No this can't be real. This can't be... Her eyes met Adel's Adel looked back at her with a sad smile.
"I love you Luna. Be strong"
"It hurts. please, please help me, please" Luna begged
"Promise me you won't give up. I believe in you" Adel replied. Luna looked at her feet.
I can't let them see me cry.
She looks up and sees her aunt collapse and lay motionless. The blue light fades and colour returns to the hall.
Luna reaches to cover her eyes as more tears began to form. She already knew what would happen next, but she couldn't prevent it. The tears kept appearing.
Stop stop, please Stop
Her father grabs her her arms away from her face and thrusts them to her side. He kneels and whispers.
"If you don't stop crying and bringing shame to out family.. to our LORD. I will no longer have a daughter. Am I understood?"
"Yes father"
"As you were, child". He glares and pushes her towards the head priest before returning to his seat.
"Continue" he bellows. Everyone who was for a moment frozen in place by his fury jolt back to their positions. All was all just as she had seen. Burnt into her mind . It was like walking through a familiar tunnel. A tunnel of her life. And then came the next moment, and the next. Like she foreseen. Like she had foreseen like she had foreseen...
Her heart slowed.
Who am I now. Please help me Aunty
She saw the daffodils she had requested dancing in the air as she walked through an applauding crowd. She grabbed one and stared at it. Onlookers sobbed and hugged each other in joy. The choir resumed, right at the precise moment she expected it would. She opened her hand and looked at the white daffodil. It was just a dead flower, nothing special.

Hello! I am the daughter of a nephrologist who is retaking the board exam and I'm helping her to navigate the learning resources that are available online because (her words not mine) she is so terrible with computers that it's almost admirable. She is already set up with a ASN login and can access her NephSAP modules and questions. She also uses the KSAP for practice questions/tests.
As I've been searching for more resources online, I read that the ABIM provides a blueprint for their exams every year and I was wondering where I could find the one for the Nephrology Exam.
If I'm correct it should be this link here : https://www.abim.org/Media/0exgsq0k/nephrology.pdf
And this link as well: https://www.abim.org/Media/iohh2ahg/nephrology.pdf
It says Jan 2024 on the bottom and I think I am correct but I just want to make sure that I don't give her the wrong information. It's all a bit overwhelming haha but I feel like it's always good to crowdsource where you can.
Also is there a way to request to take the exam in a written format? My mother has SEVERE dry eye. Absolutely terrrible dry eye. So much so that when I went to pick her up from the testing center (I figured we could go out and get a bite to eat) her scelera were totally dark red. She said it was incredibly difficult to look at the testing computer screen for so long. Any answers and additional ideas you may have is appreciated.
Hopefully all this made sense and I thank you all again for taking the time to read this post :D

Steel shod hooves clacked along the cobblestones, to the cheers of the common folk. The kights were ridding out.
You were with them. Not an actual knight, just a squire in service to them. But still you rode along to help with whatever menial tasks they needed. But you were one of the lucky ones, one that actually had a chance of becoming a knight someday.
"Someday" you think as you switch from cobbles to mud. Following behind the large party of horses, mud flinging up on your armor
The proud lords lead on, banners and ponytails flapping in the wind as you and the other squires follow in their wake. Drapped in their colors and heavy supply packs you all plod along in the muddy tracks from the horses
The lords crest the hill, pausing and many of them motioning for squires to bring binoculars forward. Your knight, the leader of the party and the order, does so as well. You scramble up to his side, he snatches them from your hands.
Sighing and pulling your own gifted spyglass out you look ahead, seeing a part of dark green armor clad figures on the hill in front of you. Banners waving in the wind, one of peace declaring their intentions
The knights turn to each other, debating what to do as the squires also discuss what to do with each other.
"Recon we'll go talk to em?" A green and black clad squire asks
"Nah, bet we'll charge straight into them. Could be some sort of trick" a red and yellow clad says while leaning on his sword
"What do you think? You've got the best training out of all of us" a squire calls to you "being the leaders chosen and all"
Pondering the question and measuring your response "I think we'll hear them out, doesn't seem like a trick so far" the other squires nodding in agreement
"I say we bloody well charge!" Comes from behind you. The red and yellow clad knight waving his Lance around as the rest of the knights squabble
Your knight watches them bicker. It's evident he's thinking hard on his flushed face "bet that's from the party last night" you recall grimly all the cleaning you still have to do after this excursion
Calling the other knights to order her gives his plan "let's go and talk to them, see what there up to". He wheels his horse around as the knights push forward and the squires struggle to keep up
Their delegation moves forwards. Seeing yours advance, making way to meet on top of the small hill between you
As you advance it becomes easier and easier to keep pace and eventually out pace the knights as the full scale of the warriors comes into play, most standing just shy of the knights on horseback and their leader
"God's above" you think seeing the armor clad woman standing taller then anyone in either group, easily a head taller over even your knight's raised saddle
The knights mill about on their horses, none wanting to approach the warriors, recognizing that they might for once not have the best equipment from the old vaults. Suddenly you feel a tapping on your back. You turn seeing your knight pull himself back into the saddle, his kick unbalancing him
"Go forth and talk to them in my stead" he orders, the other knights echoing his orders "sue for peace if they recognize our might, if not then wait for our charge"
Pushed ahead you drop your pack off and take hold of your weapons. A force sword and laser pistol, relics gratuitously given to you, setting forward the other squires follow
"Hail warriors" her voice is softer then you might think, Suddenly you remember your mother's stories of love at first sight "I take it your masters aren't coming" a hint of disappointment in her voice
"They aren't madam" you say with a half bow. "They sent us ahead to negotiate" you don't have to follow her eyes to see the knights nervously milling behind you, disapproval in her eyes
"I see" a measured response. "Then I'll say to you, I am El'Leonore Johnson, primarch of the Dark Angels Space marine legion, of the Imperium of Mankind. We have come to reclaim you into the fold of humanity" the speech comes with practiced ease, her voice delebretly loud enough to carry to the knights behind you.
Angry murmuring coming from the knights behind you. You sweat, seeing the armorments and knowing you stand no chance. And knowing the knights behind you not willing to give up their power. She looks at you, it seems she has some measure of what is going through your head, her voice comes soft enough for you to hear "you can seek safety with us squire" her voice sending shivers down your spine "we will protect you"
Yelling comes before you can deliver your answer. Yelling from the base of the hill you see a war party st the base of the Hill, Yelling their warcries they wait st the bottom of the hill. Turning to the squires you call out your orders "Wait here, I dont like that they revealed themselves st the base of the hill knowing we have horse" Another yell comes from the knights as they ready a charge
"Fools" comes from from woman behind you
You watch the awe inspiring charge of your knights. Trained for this purpose and relishing in the perfect conditions of the charge the thundering hooves and flashing of steel draws closer and closer
Only to go disastrously. Several horses flip, hit by unseen Spears and caltrops hidden in place. Some of the later knights wheel their horses in time to avoide the trap only to get cut down by the counter charge heading up to your position
"Into a square" you call seeing their numbers "form up into defensive we'll wear them out" squires galvanized into action by the shouted commands. Waiting for the charge to hit
Only for it to never land
Green blurs past you as the figures rush into combat, slaughtering the forces with roaring swords and screaming guns. She walks beside you "impressive are they not? My sons" she waves at the slaughter before you "just an honor guard, my legion is scattered among the stars"
As the figures figures come to a stop you see none of the ambushing party survived. Though a familiar figure did
Your knight storms his way up the hill, mud covering the bright colors of his armor and stuck in his long ponytail. He comes up directly to you and slaps you in the face "how dare you don't charge in to help us" spittle flying onto you "you left us alone going into that, how dare you..." his voice cuts off as his arm refuses to fly forward
She's standing behind him. A look of disgust on her face. "He was correct, it was an trap. Why would they give their position away at the bottom of the hill knowing you have the charge advantage?" Her quick tactical assessment seems to slap him across the face "and you seemed eager to send them in against a superior force but lead the charge against a weaker, it is undeserving of a leader"
He turns pulling his arm away from her "I am rightful lord by right" he blusters "and if you dont like it to bad. I will remain untill my death and you will never take us" he finishes dramatically turning away
Only for her sword to swing out and cut through his armor. He falls without a word, only his armor clanking to the ground, as she turns to you
"I trust that you would take over in succession" answered by your wordless nod "good" she takes his sword out of its sheath and offers it to you "then I give you his title and ask you to join us" taking the sword you look up at her sinking to one knee
The words you swore so long ago coming back to you "I do pledge my sword to you my lady, to carry your burden and assist you in your needs. On my honor do I swear this untill you see fit to grant me the honor of stand with you as an equal" the words ring out as you stand and move forward, freezing as muttering comes from the other squires
"Is their a problem?" She asks a confused look on her face. You rub the back of your head nervously. "Tradition states that the squire is to braid the hair of their knight upon swearing in" comes from the crowd. You turn with a blush looking for who called that out
"Ah, I see" she turns and sits on the ground, gesturing for one of her sons to bring something to stand on "I see no reason to disregard tradition then"
You nervously start braiding her hair, feeling the silky soft hair part and braid under your fingers. Dillagently following the steps you learned so long ago you soon have her hair in a long braid curing around her neck and running down her front. Steaping around her you take your new blade and hold the polished surface for her to glance upon. A faint smile touching her lips, seeming to grow as she notices your blush
"Then let us be off lord" she addresses you, rising to head back to the capitol "im certian they have a feast ready for them" she points at the armored lump in the grass
///// later that night /////
The feasting has long sense started, and will continue on till the morning. The squires finally happy to become knights of their own and the populace rejoicing, knowing your better then your former master.
You see a shuttle come fly down. And she heading towards it. Grabbing your back you rush down, just as the door is closing you call out "wait"
The ramp finishes closing, only to slowly unwind as she steps out expectantly "what seems to be the problem? You are lord of this land and advisors will come down tomorrow to set the world ready for Imperial tithes, yoy can relax and enjoy your position" she says crossing her arms
"I swore the oath of a squire" nerves creping into your voice "I can't lead, not until I can stand equal to my knight" you awkwardly point towards her as she realizes what had happened
She sighs as she pinches her nose. "I trust then you have someone to lead?" A nod confirms "good, then how long for you to pack?" You shrug your bag into view "very well, let us be off then" she turns waving you into the shuttle, showing you how to buckle in
As you take off you look over to your new knight. You notice her hair is still in the same braid you gave her earlier
Check out my other works here

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1cxj7h8/comment/l52vtd5/?context=3
*****

The Palatini of Orias journey took nine grueling days of traveling down the peaks of Torness Mountain Range. But at long last, they reached the Coralus Valley. While the temperature was far below what the half-elf usually enjoyed, it was far better than the mountain peaks.
They traveled through the valley, trying to avoid the multiple hostiles, villages, and anyone else who could tip off their enemies. They had to take every tedious path imaginable to prevent possible contact with the enemy.
Staring at their destination, Fraeya Holiadon could not decide if she should be thrilled or distorted at the sight. "Is this the place?"
"I believe so," Raegel said. "The pattern of the structures matches my drawings and the map. See the remains of the two walls?"
"And the stone rings that direct out," Henness said.
"So, you have read the legends," Raegel said, surprised by the centurion's knowledge of the temple.
"I always prepare before a mission," Henness said. "Those half rings, are they stone or artificial?"
"They look like stone, so I think they used the ground stone and molded them," Raegel said.
Fraeya Holiadon carefully stared at the temple ruins. All she could see was the destruction—fractured stone buildings, walls, weed-infested stone pavement, and so on. While there were still many stone structures, most were destroyed. She could only see death, not the walls her father could see.
She turned to ask her father what he was talking about but saw Centurion Fionntan Henness pointing toward the walls and other details.
Watching the two communicate about the features of the temple, she realized how out of depth she was. Her father spent generations studying ruins like this, while Henness is an experienced soldier. For Fraeya, this was her first mission outside the academy supervision, and she realized how different the world was compared to the classroom.
As the two spoke, her elf ears overheard Henness mention that he saw green webbing. As the two men debated what creatures could create that webbing, she already knew based on the type of webbing. Being an excellent student, she recalled the topic regarding intelligent monsters. While many species produce a web, only one creates a thick green. Goblins.
"Father," Fraeya said. "I think goblins made those webbings."
"How could you possibly know that?" Henness asked, unconvinced by the theory. "It would easily be Rorgo or a Kipt."
Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out her notepad. She flipped through the pages and responded, "Kipt is more silk-like, while Rorgo is more for capturing prey. Both are white. Only Goblins make green."
"She is correct," Raegel said. "The green should have been a given."
"Alright," Henness said. "That complicates things."
"How so?" Fraeya asked. "The academy said they are weak. Adventures and local militia kill them constantly, so your men should be able to wipe them out with your weaponry easily."
"Goblins are weak in small numbers, but they are a nightmare in large numbers," Henness said. "And depending on the horde, they adapt to who their enemies are quickly. For all I know, we could be fighting a nest that is as heavily armed as we are."
Fraeya looked back toward the next with much confusion. She knew about the goblin's ability to adapt. However, her teachers never stated how formal they could be. Only treating them as barbarians is a functional civilization. "I would think the academy would mention something like that."
"If you are going to be out here in the world, you must understand that life is very different from the classroom," Henness said. "The difference between someone who lives behind a desk versus someone on the ground. Now, I need to get my forces ready for our attack."
Once the centurion left, Fraeya looked at her father. "I am starting to get the impression that my schooling wasn't as truthful as I once thought."
Raegel chuckled at the statement from his daughter. "That is what I said when I left my academy in Thali'ean," he said with a short chuckle before he spoke. "Henness was correct; there is a large gap between the classroom and out here in the world."
"I see. So, now, what do we do?"
"We wait for the legionaries to form a plan. Because time is not on our side, he will want you to assist with your magic. Do you think you can assist? If you are uncomfortable, tell me now, and you can stay here where it is safe."
Feeling a nervous chill creeping down her spine, she looked back toward the temple and breathed heavily. "I admit, I am scared, but I didn't come here to babysit the camp. I want to help."
She felt her father pat her on the back, feeling a sense of pride from his touch.
"That's my daughter."
After an hour of planning, the Palatini of Orias began their assault on the temple ruins. The plan was for a primary team to assault the temple directly, triggering a response from the goblin. The second team would remain on the high ground and pick off the horde.
Fraeya ended up on the right side of the group team. To her surprise, many soldiers were thrilled that they were finally getting into a fight. She wondered, after two weeks of crawling over the mountains and hiding like rodents, they finally got a chance to be soldiers.
The primary assault group she was attached to advance toward the temple once the signal was given. Passing one of the few remaining wall structures, they entered the temple ground. As they swept through the old temple's front sections, the goblins huddled around a fire pit, noticed them, and prepared for battle.
Three legionaries known as circilmen, from the palatini positioned themselves to engage the incoming enemy. Carrying a ranged projectile weapon known as a circiletum, they hid behind the front shield men and fired upon the incoming enemy. They picked off two of the three goblins as the last one quickly crawled under a piece of rubble for cover. Then, the palatini heard a painful screech from the hiding goblin.
Fraeya couldn't help herself but stand there noticing the two fresh corpses. She then watched as two of the swordsmen rushed to the hiding goblin. They reached in and pulled the little green monster out of its hiding spot.
Two swordsmen grabbed the goblin and dragged it from its cover, it jumped on top of one of the legionaries, stabbing its blade into its armor, unable to break through. With a short struggle, the legionary could slam the goblin onto the ground. The other legionary stomped on the body before thrusting his gladius into the monster.
Hearing another screech, Fraeya looked down the stone path and saw goblins popping out of every crack and corner.
One of the legionary officers ordered the unit to reform. The swordsmen took the front with their large scutum shields, creating a two-line protective shield wall. Behind them were the circilmen, taking cover behind the scutum.
The group of goblins charged forward. As they approached, the legionaries saw the raw, starving rage within their dark green eyes—a thirst for primal instincts of food and lust and nothing else.
"Fraeya, is it?"
Hearing her name, she turned to the commanding offer of this group.
"When I give the order, shake the ground." The lower-ranking Centurian said.
Fraeya acknowledged the order as she understood what he was planning.
Turning back to the incoming horde, she watched the three circilmen open fire. The circiletums cut down the forward group of goblins. The ones behind that row suddenly stopped from the shock but were cut down by a second volley.
"Now. Before they scatter."
Fraeya placed her hands together and chanted. The two tiny mana crystals on her gloves blew green as she felt a raw energy channel through her body. A moment later, that glow expanded to the point that it encompassed her hand.
Channeling the mana needed for the spell, Fraeya placed her left hand on the ground.
The stone ground beneath them shook the stone terra, stunning the goblins. Right down the center, cracks formed, and the terra broke apart. The road slightly uplifted into an elevation, forcing the goblins to focus on what was happening.
With the ground disinformed, it prevented the enemy from scattering in an organized manner, allowing the circilmen to fire another volley.
The front scutum marched forward and started cutting down anything that moved. The other line split into two groups. They were marching down the street in an almost synchronized manner. They held their shields high toward the ruins, protecting the circilmen from any incoming projectile. Arrows and magic.
Fireballs flew and impacted the scutum infantry, protecting the flanks. Some of the shields glowed from the impact. The flames engulfed one of the men's arms, and he started to scream from the pain.
The circilmen returned fire, and a firefight began. The sound of their weapons crackled throughout the surrounding area, amplified by the ruined walls. Above the sound of battle were the voices and cries of the wounded—the circiletum that were deployed on the ridge above rained fire from the suppressive team.
The Palatini of Orias pushed deeper into the temple ground as the battle continued. That was until the town began to be consumed by this thick haze, providing cover for the goblins, and restricting visibility for the Lat forces. While not educated to the standards of civilized races, Goblins were not stupid.
"It is a haze," Fraeya said. "They must have a mage somewhere within the nest."
Centurion Fionntan Henness approached their forces and began to regroup. "Can you counter it?"
"No," Fraeya replied. "I never studied Aeromancy magic."
"Nebulo," Henness said. "Our armor and weapons will be less effective."
Fraeya understood his concern. From what she recalled from her classes; goblins have sharp senses. Based on the density of the haze, it was clear even to her that they were planning to force them to huddle and expose themselves to be surrounded, making their ranged weapons worthless.
"We will just have to work around it," Raegel said.
As Frayea prepared herself, she felt a strange feeling throughout her body, almost like some field affecting her body. She saw a female legionary in light armor and a cloak checking over the wounded. One of the few women in the legionary, she could tell she was the unit healer specializing in Sanamancy magic. The women must have placed a barrier to help protect against any poisonous gasses lying within the haze.
Orias advanced through the haze; this forced the soldiers to clump together for safety. As the assault group progressed, they were hit non-stop by the goblin's arrow fire, spears, and fire shots from sling guns. Most of these projectiles caused minor damage thanks to the heavy armor legionary’s wear. However, this did not remove the damage as it brought discomfort and limited their progression to a crawl.
Barely noticing two figures on top of a rooftop through the haze, who were firing slingshots toward their position, she pointed her hand toward a piece of rubble and, with her magic, lifted the debris and projected it through the haze. The rubble temporarily formed a gap in the haze that increased the line-of-sight.
She then called out to the fire battle mage within the unit. The mage realized what was happening and fired multiple firebolts toward the tower. Five bolts impacted the building from different directions, engulfing the structure in flames. Everyone could hear the faint sound of goblins screaming as the building burnt.
With the tower collapsing suddenly, arrows rained through the thick haze, hitting the legionaries in retaliation. While most arrows bounced off the armor, some found exposed spots. Two more legionaries fell to their knees, with one vomiting blood, forcing the healed to focus on the sick over protecting the group.
It became clear that the goblins changed their tactics and poisoned their arrows. While worthless against armor, they could still puncture the underneath clothing and scrap any exposed part of the skin.
A luperca legionnaire picked up an old broken wagon and used it as a shield to protect. With the cover, the lower ranking commanders directed the circilmen to pick off any goblins that peaked above the surface.
Combined with the haze and change of tactic, this formed a strange stalemate between the two sides. The Orias was forced into a defensive; they were well equipped to deal with any goblins who dared to get within melee range. However, the goblins had surrounded and had the range advance as they could see through the haze, allowing them to snipe any legionary who adventured far from the group.
Fraeya saw a blob of acid impact a swordsmen's scutum. The scutum started being consumed by the spell, slowly falling into pieces. The man screamed as he felt his arm burn, desperately untieing the strappings to ditch the heavy shield.
"We need to kill their shaman before we are picked off," Raegel said.
"I agreed," Henness replied. "As long as this haze is here, my suppressive team is useless."
"If I recall," Fraeya said. "A Shaman should be nearby. Someone close enough to maintain this haze and give commands but not put themselves in danger."
"Then I know where it should be," Henness said. "Let's go half-elf."
She felt her ears perk up once she realized the centurion was talking about her. She looked toward her father and saw the 'it is time to prove yourself' look. Taking a deep breath and preparing herself, she gathered behind Henness and six of his men.
The assault unit left the main one and adventurer deeper into the temple grounds. As they reached what remained of an intersection, goblins stormed out of the stone buildings to ambush the legionaries.
With their disciplined reaction, the legionaries immediately adjusted their formation and sliced down the attackers. Henness stood at the center, holding his sword out as flames wrapped around the blade.
As the goblins attacked the swordsmen, Fraeya broke apart the ground on the right flank, knocking many goblins. The one that fell, she entangled them by summoning vines - which trapped the goblins and pulled them into the ground until their death or burial.
She then turned and lifted parts of the ground on the left flank, blocking some of the goblins. This prevented the legionaries from being encircled.
"Reform," Henness ordered. "We need to advance quickly. Stay close."
Once the path was clear, the unit moved toward the building where the goblins had fortified. Henness moved in front of her to provide protection. He held up his shield, deflecting arrows.
"Stay behind me," Henness said.
While not being a military woman, Fraeya quickly learned to accept the chain of command on this quest. On the battlefield, her father told her to listen to Henness as he was a man of war. She realized that the structure and safety of the city and the academy are vastly different in the countryside. Getting behind him, she followed him close behind as he pushed forward, arrows striking his shield, allowing her to get in range for her spell.
The legionaries stopped engaging the incoming goblins, allowing their centurion and the young mage to get closer. Henness reached around his scutum and pressed the amulet attached to the outer shell's center. Once pressed, the large shield briefly glowed before darkening, returning to the standard red with white lining design.
Up ahead, Fraeya saw in full display of the nest. Spikes, fortification, and green webbing filled the gaps between the ruined structures. Skeletons and decomposing bodies littered the areas of their past victims. The goblins were standing in the bunker sections, preparing for battle. With how heavily guarded it was, she concluded that this must be where the Shaman was.
"Fraeya, now!"
Fraeya moved around the man to cast her spell. With a quick chant, her hands glowed green again. As she channeled her mana, an acid attack impacted Henness' scutum. While the added hardening enchantment from the amulet increased the scutum resistance, the acid slowly ate through the large shield.
Stepping from cover, Fraeya aimed her hands at the nest. The ground trembled a little as the front of the nest collapsed on itself from the summoned sinkhole.
With the front entrance open, Fraeya saw the Shaman in plain view—a female, being one of the few within a goblin nest. The Shama looked scared as she looked around where to hide.
Fraeya did not give it time as she cast a spell that created a spike from the ground below the Shaman and pierced straight through the vicious monster, killing it instantly.
As the Shaman staff hit the ground, the haze started to disappear.
Believing that her work was complete after killing the goblin leader, her ears quickly heard footsteps surrounding them.
Noticing that the goblins were about to swarm their position, she took cover behind Henness to protect his rear. She took a deep breath as she felt exhausted from the battle and cast so many spells quickly.
Starting at five goblins that emerged from the ruins, Fraeya watched as they charged toward them. Before they got close, however, each one was sniped from the ridge-side suppressive team.
With a moment of confusion, she stared toward the cliffside and saw the suppressive team. Now that the haze is disappearing, they could snipe off the remaining goblins from their elevation position.
"Good job, half-elf," Henness said, slowly stepping back with a shield aimed at the flames, guiding Fraeya back.
"Stop calling me half-elf," Fraeya yelled. "I am out here risking my life with the rest of you, and don't give me that war is a male-domain thing! I am willing to see this through. Most of my kind would stay home and let you fight, so why do you keep degrading me?"
"Because ideals get people killed," Fionntan Henness replied. "Out here, you must earn that respect within the brotherhood of warriors, especially if you are used to living inside the city walls. People with a self-protected mindset usually end up as food for the worms or get my soldiers killed because they do not understand what it takes to survive."
The centurion then turned to the destroyed nest. "I will say, though, what you did here. It is a good first step for a half-elf." He then turned to give her an approving smile.
Not understanding the humor from the Lat, Fraeya accepted it. From her experience, Lats always had a strange sense of humor. Insults are sometimes seen as compliments while praising could be considered offensive. Saying one thing but meaning another is a common trait for them.
With the remaining palatini coming after clearing the remaining goblins, Fraeya saw her father. She rushed over and hugged him and teared up.
"You did good, my dear," Raegel said as he patted her.
"Is this really what it is like out here?" Fraeya asked.
"Sadly, it is," Fraeya replied. "That is why I never brought you around on my digs."
"I am sorry to interrupt," Henness said. "We are on borrowed time, so can we get at it?"
Fraeya looked toward the centurion with frustration as she wanted a moment with her father. After taking a deep breath, she realized that he was right.
After finishing her hug, she brushed off the goblin's blood and clothing.
"Then we better begin searching for what we came for," Raegel said as he reached for his bag. She watched as he pulled out a perfectly smoothed, pure black orb. By itself, it didn't look impressive. She had seen hundreds of these orbs at the academy or the many workshops within the city.
Raegel held the orb in one hand and activated it with his mana. The orb glowed light blue and fainted, barely emitting any energy. He then took it against the mountain and began scanning.
Not wanting to miss anything, Fraeya quickly pulled out her journal, skipping past all her notes until she reached a blank page. She then began documenting everything her father did, taking in every world and detail.
The palatini began walking through the ruins, heading toward the mountain wall. Raegel explained in his research that the temple extended inside the mountain, like a dwarf borrian. While others who came before him came up with this theory, they were still looking for a way to detect the hidden door markings and find it.
Raegel moved down the side of the mountain, holding the orb high.
"Why are you not using a door-detecting amulet?" Fraeya asked.
"Because people have been using that for generations and found nothing here," Raegel replied.
After a reasonable amount of time when nothing had happened, Fraeya began to wonder if everything was for nothing. Seeing the lack of progress, Henness inquired if the orb failed to work. As Raegel replied, the orb suddenly blimped orange for a moment.
Witnessing the sudden change, the group backed away as they did not know how to respond to the sudden glow.
Noticing a renewed excitement from her father, she followed him closely as they investigated the mountainside.
As they searched, her father noticed that the faint blue glow from the orb had changed to orange. It then disappeared and slowly appeared, like it was slowly pulsing. When they continued walking forward, the pulsing light increased in speed.
"I think it is directing us, father," Fraeya said.
"Possible," Raegel said. "There must be some type of link."
The palatini followed the direction the orb gave. As the group approached a mountainside wall, the pulse frequency increased until it looked like the orb glowed a solid color.
"I think we found it," Raegel said. He lifted the orb toward the wall.
As the orb drew closer to the mountainside, these blue lines appeared all over the rocky wall. The rough chips of rock melted away and turned smooth as the light traveled through the grooves, slowly creating what looked like a giant door of light.
Once the bright lights finished designing a massive door, Fraeya placed her hand on the wall, shocked at how the natural bulky rocks turned into a marble-like wall.
"I would step aside, Fraeya," Raegel said.
As Fraeya stepped backward, she watched her father open the door with a magical spell. Like most magical doors, the door brightened as she expected it would fold into the mountain. To her surprise, the door didn't fold away but melted into the ground.
"What happened to the door?" Fraeya asked.
Raegal placed his hand on his chin. "It seemed that the wall was not solid but some liquid matter. These people are impressive."
The wall began to shake as dusk from the cracks spread through the area.
A large opening formed as the door walls folded into the mountainside. A passage leading deeper into the mountain. The walls were black and smooth, while the floor had these textiles in perfect order, leading deeper into the mountain.
"This has to be a dwarven design," Fraeya commented. "Only they could do something like this."
"I'm not sure," Raegel said. "This is not a design I have seen from dwarves."
Fraeya understood what her father meant. Dwarven doors into the mountains took a lot of work to find. While there were many designs of such hidden doors and the means to open them, it was doubtful that anyone had ever seen a secret magical door like this before.
Raegel started to walk into the chamber but was suddenly stopped by Henness. Stating that he wanted his men to go first to ensure no trap, three legionaries moved through the large chamber. Once they gave the clear, the rest of the group entered.
While walking, Fraeya stayed close to her father as she took notes. The soldiers ahead of them set up torches to add more light. To her surprise, the walls and floor were smooth. The air was stale, probably trapped within this chamber for centuries.
As they walked inside, the room lit up. Everyone stopped as they looked toward the end of the hall. The chamber was empty, with only a strange-looking platform at the very end. Noticing that the orb was pointing toward the platform, they approached it.
"Is this it?" Henness asked. "It does not look that impressive."
"Not everything is based on size, centurion," Raegel replied, to which his daughter giggled.
Fraeya then analyzed the platform. It was smooth, almost marble-like. However, she doubted whether it was marble. The fundamental details that she noticed were a strange-looking blue crystal at the center of the platform and another in a hole on the side.
"This is interesting," Fraeya commented. The design looked surprisingly simple. This orb must act as some command orb for this device. They must be communicating in some manner."
"Assuming that the legend was true, the orcs were the ones who summoned the lats from Altaerrie," Fraeya said. "Maybe, when this place was lost of that time, it was never turned off. Being left in a state of slumber, waiting to be reawakened."
"Possible. It would explain why the orb directed us here. The orange pulse is now pointing down at a rapid pace."
"I think it goes into that hole, father," Fraeya said. "From what I can tell, the crystal in there connects to the one on top of the platform."
"I see," Raegel said. "The pulse is pointing toward it too. I recommend that everyone step back."
"Be careful, father," Fraeya said.
Stepping back from the platform, Fraeya watched as her father placed the orb into the hole. This was the moment her father had been talking about for decades, and it had finally come true. The Bridge between two worlds had finally been discovered.
As Raegel placed the orb into the platform, it glowed orange in a solid state, no longer pulsing. The blue crystal in the middle of the platform slowly lit up, like it was waking up after a long sleep.
The air suddenly chilled as the air flowed toward the platform. A bright light beamed out of the crystal and slowly faded away, leaving a light as if on standby.
To their dismay, the orb changed to red, dimming and brightening in a slow, tired pattern.
"What is it doing, father?" Fraeya asked.
"I have no idea," Raegel replied. "It must be waiting for something."

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
TAGS:
Accounting Exam Help Reddit, Best Online Test Takers Reddit, Best Ways to Cheat on a Test Reddit, Best Website to Pay for Homework Reddit, Bypass Respondus Lockdown Browser Reddit, Calculus Test Taker Reddit, Canvas Cheating Reddit, Cheating in Online Exam Reddit, Cheating on Pearson Mymathlab Reddit, Cheating on Proctortrack Reddit, Cheating on Zoom Proctored Exams Reddit, Cheating on a Test Reddit, College Algebra Mymathlab Reddit, Do Homework for Money Reddit, Do My Assignment Reddit, Do My Exam for Me Reddit, Do My Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Math Homework Reddit, Do My Math Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Test for Me Reddit, Doing Homework Reddit, Domyhomework Reddit, Exam Cheating Reddit, Exam Help Online Reddit, Examity Reddit, Finance Homework Help Reddit, Fiverr Exam Cheating Reddit, Gradeseekers Reddit, Hire Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Hire Test Taker Reddit, Homework Help Reddit, Homework Sites Reddit, Reddit, Homeworkhelp Reddit, Honorlock Reddit, How Much Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, How to Beat Honorlock Reddit, How to Beat Lockdown Browser Reddit, How to Cheat Examity Reddit 2022, How to Cheat Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat and Not Get Caught Reddit, How to Cheat in School Reddit, How to Cheat on Canvas Tests Reddit, How to Cheat on Examity Reddit, How to Cheat on Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat on Math Test Reddit, How to Cheat on Mymathlab Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Proctored Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exam Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on a Proctored Exam Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio 2020 Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio Reddit, How to Cheat with Respondus Monitor Reddit, How to Get Past Lockdown Browser Reddit, Hwforcash Discord, I Paid Someone to Write My Essay Reddit, Is Hwforcash Legit, Lockdown Browser Hack Reddit, Lockdown Browser How to Cheat Reddit, Math Homework Reddit, Monitoredu Reddit, Mymathlab Answer Key Reddit, Mymathlab Answers Reddit, Mymathlab Cheat Reddit, Mymathlab Proctored Test Reddit, Online Exam Help Reddit, Online Exam Proctor Reddit, Online Proctored Exam Reddit, Organic Chemistry Exam Help Reddit, Organic Chemistry Test Taker Reddit, Paper Writers Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reviews Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Assignment Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My College Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Math Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Math Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Programming Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Statistics Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Chemistry Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Proctored Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Test in Person Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Class for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Test Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Your Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Write My Paper Reddit, Pay for Homework Reddit, Pay to Do Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Do Your Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Paying Someone to Take Online Class Reddit, Paysomeonetodo Reddit, Physics Test Taker Reddit, Proctored Exam Reddit, Reddit Do My Homework for Me, Reddit Domyhomework, Reddit Homework Cheat, Reddit Homework Help, Reddit Homework for Money, Reddit Honorlock Cheating, Reddit Mymathlab Hack, Reddit Mymathlab Homework Answers, Reddit Paid Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Do Your Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Take Online Test, Reddit Pay for Homework, Reddit Pay to Do Homework, Reddit Test Takers for Hire, Reddit Tutors, Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Statistics Test Taker Reddit, Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reviews Reddit, Take My Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Math Test for Me Reddit, Take My Online Class Reddit, Take My Online Class for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reddit, Take My Online Exams Review Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reviews Reddit, Take My Online Test Reddit, Take My Online Test for Me Reddit, Take My Physics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Proctored Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Statistics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Test for Me Reddit, Takemyonlineexams Reddit, Test Taker Reddit, We Take Classes Reddit, Write My Exam for Me Reddit
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!

I work primarily in the hair industry and misclassification is a huge issue. Many salons have gone to a “rental” model where the stylist essentially runs their own micro business inside the salon but pays rent for their station or room. Effectively making the salon owner a landlord. However there is a lot of gray area and still overreach by the salon owner asserting significant behavioral and economic control over the stylist. The one example I wanted to get feedback on is as follows:
“Percentage rent” agreement which is essentially a form of commissions: the stylist agrees to pay a percentage of their service sales to the salon owner. It’s typically 40-60%, but can be less and rarely is more. In one scenario, the salon will collect payment from the client and withhold their split as “rent” and distribute the stylists split (many times via venmo or similar). The other format is that the stylist collects the money from the client and either by honor system or reporting, shows the salon owner what they have brought in and then pays the owner the agreed upon split.
To me, this seems like a commission and since those are wages the stylist should be classified as an employee.
However, because it’s being called a”percentage rent” some people in our industry feel it’s not in conflict of classification criteria set forth by the DOL/ IRS.
Anyone with experience in classification and compliance would love your input. Thx!

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!

There is a severe lack of understanding about this community, including among mental health providers and social workers. Stigma, bias, and misconceptions prevent those who are attracted to minors (but do not offend) from seeking help they may need.
CSA = child sexual abuse
NoMAPs = non-offending, minor attracted people: those who are attracted to children but are committed to not causing harm against them
Many non-offending MAPs do not seek professional support, or may withdraw from support, due to the following reasons:

• They are worried that they will be unjustly reported, despite having done nothing wrong (this is based on many cases where professionals misunderstand mandatory reporting laws and report someone to the police just for disclosing their attraction)
• They do not want to be judged by the provider (many therapists, social workers, etc. have intensely negative reactions to clients disclosing their attractions and draw inaccurate conclusions about them based on that disclosure)
• They do not believe their own goals will be met (providers often make CSA prevention the main focus, even when this is not the client’s stated goal. This treats clients as if they are “ticking time bombs” and is not person-centered)
• They do not want to be subjected to attempts to “cure” them of their attractions, or to convert them into teleiophiles, which is shown to be ineffective and harmful

Those in the social work and mental health fields can address common misconceptions about this group, as a way to encourage MAPs to get help when they need it. Greater education and understanding about MAPs increases their well-being while also contributing to the prevention of CSA.
Common questions
Are you saying child sexual abuse is acceptable?
Absolutely not. Causing harm to children in the form of in-person/online sexual contact; CSAM (sometimes referred to as child pornography); grooming; or any other inappropriate behavior is not and will never be acceptable.
Many people who are attracted to minors are vehemently against these forms of harm as well, and do not support ideas such as lowering the age of consent. There are entire communities of minor attracted people who are committed to not harming children.
Isn’t using the term ‘MAPs’ normalizing pedophilia?
Only a minority of the population experiences a primary attraction to children. In this sense, pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction are not “normal”, in the same way that LBGTQ identities are not “normal” by proportion to the general population.
When people refer to normalizing something, they are usually talking about removing the stigma behind it, or acknowledging that it is acceptable.
Having an unchosen, unchangeable attraction to children is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, or pathological. It becomes so only when harm is involved. Attraction itself is not a behavior.
Shouldn’t we be protecting children from MAPs?
We should absolutely protect children from abusers, groomers, and predators. These terms are not synonymous with being minor attracted. In fact, research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia (see “Sources” section below for reference).
When somebody feels they are at risk for harming a child, they should be able to seek immediate and effective help. Some NoMAPs need temporary or ongoing support in remaining resilient against offending, but this does not represent all or even the majority of NoMAPs. Many in this community have no intention of ever harming a child, and they are not at risk for doing so.
It is also important to note that many MAPs are still children themselves. MAPs tend to become aware of their attractions around the time of puberty or early adolescence. Children who are MAPs deserve the same degree of safety and well-being that other children do.
Why is the term ‘MAP’ even used?
This term has become more widely used for two main reasons:

1. It emphasizes attraction over action. The word ‘pedophile’ has become so conflated with ‘offender’ in every sector of our society, that most people assume a behavioral component when they hear the word. ‘Minor attracted person’, on the other hand, emphasizes that we are talking about those with an attraction, which includes both those who do and those who do not act on it.

Because there are MAPs who are also offenders, the term ‘Non-offending Minor Attracted Person’ (NoMAP) is useful when we are talking specifically about those who have an attraction but do not act on it.

1. ‘MAP’ is also a more accurate, all-encompassing way to refer to the community as a whole. This includes people with infantophilia, pedophilia, and (ep)hebephilia. It would not make sense, for example, to call someone who is primarily attracted to 15-18 year olds a pedophile.

However, many people do not self-identify with the term ‘MAP’. Some identify as pedophiles, hebephiles, boy lovers, girl lovers, or other terms. Some may use multiple terms to describe themselves. What’s important is that we should honor how each individual person self-identifies their attraction, and not impose a label on them.
Alternatives have also been suggested by those who conduct research with this community, such as ‘child attracted person’ as opposed to ‘minor attracted person’. I use ‘MAP’ here because it is the most widely accepted way to refer to the community as a whole.
What would someone who harms a child be called?
Depending on the context, people who harm children could be called many things—offender, abuser, predator, or groomer, to name a few examples.
Research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia. (See “Sources” section below to learn why someone who’s not primarily attracted to children would sexually abuse a child.)
Is pedophilia a mental illness/diagnosis?
It depends. Some MAPs are committed to not offending, are not at risk for offending, and have come to terms with their attraction. These individuals have no reason to be pathologized.
Many others are not at risk for offending, yet they desire professional help for mental health conditions (like depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation) that result from the hatred they receive in our society. These individuals also have no reason to be pathologized, as their mental health conditions result from stigma rather than from the attraction itself.
Some MAPs desire professional help in dealing with the difficult emotions resulting from not being able to have a fulfilling sexual or romantic connection, particularly those who are exclusively attracted to children. (Many MAPs are attracted to both children and adults, and may be in relationships with adults.)
There are also MAPs who desire professional help in remaining resilient against offending. In these cases, and in cases where MAPs do harm children, pedophilia would be considered pathological since there is significant distress and/or harm involved.
Is pedophilia a sexual orientation?
The available research points to pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction being an age-based sexual orientation, in that the attraction is unchosen, typically arises during the time of puberty or early adolescence, and remains fairly constant throughout one’s life.
Are you suggesting that MAPs are part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Age-based orientations are by nature different from gender-based orientations, in that there is no safe or ethical way for an adult to engage sexually or romantically with a child. The experience of MAPs is also vastly different from that of LGBTQ individuals in several ways.
While there are some parallels that can be drawn between studies on stigma among LGBTQ individuals and the experience of stigma among MAPs, these are two separate communities.
Can someone’s attraction to children be changed?
Empirical data, based on qualitative and quantitative studies, points to the fact that pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction cannot be changed or "cured". (See “Sources” section below for reference.)
How many MAPs are there in the world?
Across various studies, the average incidence of minor attraction, meaning those who are primarily attracted to minors, comes out to about 5% of the adult population worldwide. This number is likely an undercount for the following reasons:

• Many studies do not account for hebephilia (primary attraction to pubescent children)
• There is usually a focus on men, despite the fact that many MAPs are women
• Some people choose not to disclose their attractions in the first place

Why should I care about any of this?
Reducing stigma against NoMAPs contributes to a safer society for all, based around empathy and evidence. Many people do not feel safe disclosing their attraction for fear of being unjustly reported, misunderstood, or physically harmed.
Unfortunately, stories of MAPs being rejected by family members, forced out of educational programs, reported to the police, and made to feel like a monster– even in the absence of any harm to a child— are all too common. This prevents many MAPs from seeking or continuing to receive support, which in turn can lead to:

• Increased incidence of mental health issues (such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation)
• More difficulty in refraining from offending (for some MAPs; others are not at risk to begin with)

The misconceptions and harmful attitudes that we have toward non-offending MAPs directly interfere with them receiving the support they may need, decreasing MAPs’ well-being and putting children at greater risk. This includes children who are MAPs themselves.
Where can I learn more?
There are many resources available to learn about MAPs. These include:

• https://www.b4uact.org/
• https://asapinternational.org/index.php/introduction/about_asapinternational
• https://www.stopitnow.org/
• https://safersociety.org/store/live-online-training-providing-treatment-to-minor-attracted-people/
• https://theglobalpreventionproject.org/maps

If you are minor attracted yourself, you can check out any of the above, plus:

• https://virped.org/
• https://www.mapresources.info/
• https://mapsupport.club/

Sources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19327034/ "There is no evidence to suggest that pedophilia can be changed. Instead, interventions are designed to increase voluntary control over sexual arousal, reduce sex drive, or teach self-management skills to individuals who are motivated to avoid acting upon their sexual interests"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32086644/ "The results of this study were consistent with the suggestion of Seto (2012) that pedohebephilia could be considered a form of sexual orientation for age, which includes both sexual and romantic attraction"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8793822/ ..."in line with the current empirical assumption that enduring sexual attractions to children are largely unchangeable (Grundmann et al., 2016; Seto, 2012; for recent debates see Bailey, 2015; Cantor, 2015; Grundmann et al., 2017; Müller et al., 2014; Tozdan & Briken, 2017)"
https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/supporting-maps.html "The overwhelming opinion in the professional sexual violence prevention community is that helping minor attracted people by offering peeprofessional support is the best way to ensure that minor attracted people do not harm children, and suggest that reducing the stigma against minor attraction will help this endeavor and protect children"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145785/ "It may be constructive for professionals working with this population to encourage the 'ownership' of the minor-attracted sexual identity, such as to reduce levels of self-stigmatization and increase self-acceptance. In doing so, we argue that we (as professionals, and as a society) can… ultimately, protect children from sexual harm by improving MAP well-being and agency"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “…less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a)”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/is-there-a-typical-profile-of-someone-who-sexually-abuses-children “Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/why-would-an-adult-sexually-abuse-a-child “Some adults sexually abuse a child to feel the power and control they don’t feel in their relationships with other adults… Some adults act impulsively when presented with an unexpected opportunity to sexually abuse a child”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “...the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense… congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014)”

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!