Mustard snack im feeling lucky
I found this yesterday just as I was leaving to go to a job interview ...
2024.05.21 19:52 best_frenemies_4ever I found this yesterday just as I was leaving to go to a job interview ...
 | at a company ... submitted by best_frenemies_4ever to FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR [link] [comments] THAT SELLS WINDOWS. I'm feeling SO much 'what the actual fuck' right now. I was lucky enough to be able to borrow my roommate's car to get to the interview, but even the sympathy stare from my dog isn't even helping right now. All apologies just in case this post doesn't belong here ... but please know that this will eternally feel like a 'fuck you in particular' to me. |
2024.05.21 19:31 freshfruit111 Not again!
Has anyone else been burned quite like this? *** Let me preface this by saying I know that Disney is a germ convention. We knew what we were getting into ***
We are sick at Disney again! We only made it three days out of ten this time. It's the sickest our son has ever been in his life too. Fever, bad cough, endless runny nose, not himself. We are lucky enough to go annually and we remained healthy last year. We got covid from disney in 2022 though. That one wasn't a total loss because we made it further into our trip.
I'm really depressed at the happiest place on earth. We've been laying around in the hotel waiting for our turn and for our child to improve enough before heading home. We rented a car thankfully so we can leave on our own terms. I wouldn't want to expose anyone to whatever this is either. He's likely less contagious by now but the cough is something else.
I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this or are we better off not coming here anymore? We've been going every year since 2018. Two of those trips were during mask mandates which likely suppressed a lot of germ sharing. We've had two fairly back to back trip ending illnesses which is not ideal. My husband got sick in 2019 on the last day of our trip. It didn't ruin our trip but it still counts in the tally of how inevitable it seems to be for our family.
I don't think we can emotionally or financially afford this type of gamble anymore. We save every year to go and plan and plan. It's lovely outside and we are stuck in here watching happy vacationers walk by our window and watching weird TLC reality shows.
Anyway, just feeling like this might be our last trip. I wish we lived closer so we could take short weekend trips. I'd rather have fun and get sick at home than get sick before the fun even kicks off.
Lots of sick people at the parks and on the bus too. I've never seen it this way ever especially in May. We were the odd ones for not coughing on our park days. It is what it is but we feel like this type of destination isn't in the cards for us. I'm beyond devastated.
Sigh. 🌴
submitted by freshfruit111 to disneyparks [link] [comments]
We are sick at Disney again! We only made it three days out of ten this time. It's the sickest our son has ever been in his life too. Fever, bad cough, endless runny nose, not himself. We are lucky enough to go annually and we remained healthy last year. We got covid from disney in 2022 though. That one wasn't a total loss because we made it further into our trip.
I'm really depressed at the happiest place on earth. We've been laying around in the hotel waiting for our turn and for our child to improve enough before heading home. We rented a car thankfully so we can leave on our own terms. I wouldn't want to expose anyone to whatever this is either. He's likely less contagious by now but the cough is something else.
I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this or are we better off not coming here anymore? We've been going every year since 2018. Two of those trips were during mask mandates which likely suppressed a lot of germ sharing. We've had two fairly back to back trip ending illnesses which is not ideal. My husband got sick in 2019 on the last day of our trip. It didn't ruin our trip but it still counts in the tally of how inevitable it seems to be for our family.
I don't think we can emotionally or financially afford this type of gamble anymore. We save every year to go and plan and plan. It's lovely outside and we are stuck in here watching happy vacationers walk by our window and watching weird TLC reality shows.
Anyway, just feeling like this might be our last trip. I wish we lived closer so we could take short weekend trips. I'd rather have fun and get sick at home than get sick before the fun even kicks off.
Lots of sick people at the parks and on the bus too. I've never seen it this way ever especially in May. We were the odd ones for not coughing on our park days. It is what it is but we feel like this type of destination isn't in the cards for us. I'm beyond devastated.
Sigh. 🌴
2024.05.21 19:24 IsaacImins In Defense of Baronne, who gets more hate than she deserves
 | A perfectly innocent card, in defense position. submitted by IsaacImins to masterduel [link] [comments] I actually like playing against big negate decks going second. I enjoy trying my best to dismantle a board much more than there not being a board to dismantle because it will only be built later on "our turn, comrade" and I have to sit there watching you bounce Cooclock or something so you can hit me with the exact perfect trap card to counter my deck that you searched and set on my, sorry, "our" turn. I like negate decks better than Albion the Sanctifire Dragon being practically a three for one because it messes with my graveyard while also removing one of my monsters from the field and getting their own monster on the field simply by summoning one of my guys to my field and Fallen of Albaz to the opponent's. I like trying to mind game my opponent when they play negate decks and make them have to think if my search is just bait or if it's my only play. You also usually don't run into the problem of "Just draw the out" like you do against decks like, say, Kashtira, where if the deck I'm playing is really graveyard reliant and can make practically 0 plays without it, then I either had the out to Arise-Heart or I didn't, but this had nothing to do with out-thinking my opponent. In contrast, against negate decks, it basically comes down to how many ways you have to interact with your opponent, regardless of what those ways actually are. As an example, Evenly Matched is much more powerful than something like Book of Moon, but if I activate Evenly Matched and Baronne de Fleur negates it, that's 1 negate gone from my opponent's side of the field. Also, if I activate Book of Moon targeting Baronne, then either my opponent negates it, in which case 1 negate is gone, or they don't, in which case Baronne is face down and her negate is offline, meaning 1 negate is still gone. This basically greatly equalizes the strength of various cards when going against negate decks specifically and makes the experience feel much less dependent on drawing specifically the exact card you need to deal with exactly what is in front of you right now, and even a hand full of nothing but combo pieces and no specific outs can still play through negates if you just have enough gas, but all the gas in the world won't save you if none of it works under Arise-Heart. I also feel generic boss monsters are completely fine, and I believe that Shooting Majestic Star Dragon deserves to be banned before Baronne does (not that I'm saying either one of them deserves to be banned, but I'm just saying that if one of them did have to go, Shooting Majestic Star Dragon should go first) despite Baronne being much more common and more generic simply because Shooting Majestic Star Dragon is a more powerful card, because I don't care how often a card appears, but I care how bad it feels to play against when it does appear, and saying that an unfun card is okay to exist because it only rarely shows up \or alternatively if it rarely resolves as in the case of cards like, say,) Exodia where it has the objectively strongest ability of all cards in Master Duel where you win instantly, but it's allowed to exist because Exodia decks are all kind of inconsistent, but I feel even a 30% winrate is 30% too high for "Your opponent did literally nothing and lost without even getting a turn", and I feel even cards like Jackpot 7 should be banned out of the principle of the thing despite seeing almost no play and resolving almost never even when they do, because if it's resolved even once in the history of the game, then that's one time too many\) is like saying that getting punched in the face is okay if it only happens occasionally, but no, something is either bad or it's not, and it should either be allowed at all times or it should not be allowed ever, but any sort of in between is simply nonsense (I also feel this means all cards should be at either 3 or 0, but putting it at 1 just means that you admit you want it showing up as little as possible because it makes the game less fun by being too strong but you won't go the whole way for whatever reason and simply ban it outright. The only exception would be cards like Ratpier or Malicious that specifically work with multiple copies of themselves because it could be argued that reducing the number of copies without outright banning the card is a way to reduce the card's actual power ceiling, and I feel power ceiling nerfs are good while consistency nerfs really aren't (They're better than leaving the card at 3, sure, but that doesn't mean they're good, but they're just less bad). Also I guess sometimes they limit cards like Meow-Meow-Mu to hurt a deck's grind game without reducing its consistency necessarily, and there's probably other reasons I can't think of off the top of my head too, but you get my point, and limiting or semi-limiting a card to reduce consistency isn't really solving the problem in the end that the card is just too good), and I don't know about you, but I don't want to get punched in the face every day, I don't want to get punched in the face once a week, I don't want to get punched in the face even just once a year, but I just don't want to get punched in the face ever because getting punched in the face just feels bad no matter how infrequently it happens, but anyway, my point is justI don't care if Baronne is generic and I see her every other game or if she's heavily restricted somehow and I only see her once in a blue moon, but I want to know how powerful she is when I do see her regardless of how frequent that is. Also, yes, I understand the idea that if a card is generic that means that it will be spammed alongside 50 other boss monsters by decks like Superheavy Samurai, but I feel that in cases like this, the problem isn't cards like Baronne existing, but the problem is simply decks being able to get so many materials on the field to make all these boss monsters in the first place, and it's no singular boss monster that's the problem because any one of them by itself would be easy to deal with, so in my opinion cards like Soulpiercer are more to blame than cards like Baronne, or Borreload Savage Dragon, or just whatever. As a slightly more concrete example, though, Swordsoul plays Baronne but Swordsoul is still generally not really seen as a problem deck simply because other than Baronne they don't have much else on field but probably only a Chixiao and maybe also a Blackout or a Protos if they're lucky, but certainly not 50 other boss monsters like Superheavy Samurai would have. And yes, I also realize one second I was saying big negate decks were fine (when I said "I actually like playing against big negate decks") and then another I was implicitly assuming they weren't (when I said Superheavy Samurai was a problem). That's all I had to say about that, I recognize the contradiction and wanted to make sure everyone knew that I knew because I would find it annoying to have 50 people pointing out something I already noticed in the comments, but I personally don't see a problem with me making both of these statements because obviously there's a limit to how far negates can go before they become unreasonable, and, as an example, practically infinite negates like Naturia Beast or something is obviously bad, but I feel this goes without saying and doesn't defeat my larger point that negate decks are fine up to a point, because the deal is any deck can become a problem if it can do whatever it does too much, and if a deck simply had infinite Book of Moon effects, then that would be a problem too even though Book of Moon is hardly seen as that big of a deal simply because if you can do it as often as you like, then you can beat me even with literally 0 skill just by yes clicking Book of Moon all day completely brainlessly, and suddenly I'll have 5 face down monsters in my monster zones and I'll be completely unable to make any further plays due to having no more room (except I could still fusion or tribute summon or whatever, but those will just get booked, too, so it doesn't matter) despite this taking 0 brainwork at all on your part, and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't find it fun to lose to mindless yes clicking like this even if it was with a "weak" type of effect any more than I enjoy getting hit with infinite negates off of Naturia Beast and losing to mindless negate spam either, but anyway, though, my point is just it's not exclusive to negate decks that they become a problem if they're too big and so I don't feel there is a real contradiction between saying negate decks are good but then also saying too many negates is bad, because it goes without saying that if I say anything in the game is good, I mean only up to a point, but you would be correct, I suppose, in saying that my phrasing of what I said was off, and I probably should have said moderately big negate decks are good, but absolutely huge ones are obviously bad the same way huge anything is bad. P.S. Wow, when I was linking all the card names to the appropriate card in the database, I saw that a LOT of these cards I mentioned were banned in the TCG. I knew the TCG had a stricter banlist than Master Duel, but I don't play paper Yu-Gi-Oh! so I didn't know the specifics, and that just blew my mind just how many random cards that I take for granted in Master Duel are actually banned in the TCG, and next thing you know you're going to be telling me that Maxx "C" is banned over there or something and they live in a paradise where they don't randomly lose half their games just because their opponent drew one random card, but, nah, that's crazy, it could never happen. |
2024.05.21 19:17 29Mikusarts (reposting Kathy's back story)
 | KATHY'S BACKSTORY (updated) submitted by 29Mikusarts to HazbinHotelOCArt [link] [comments] Kathy's mother was a newly immigrated immigrant of the United States. She had to live in a poor neighbourhood alongside her dad, but when World War 1 came around, her dad was drafted and she was raped by the soldier who visited her to tell her her father was dead. Shortly after, she had the soldier's child, gave birth to Kathy and left her on the orphanage's cold doorstep before dying shortly of hypothermia. Kathy was born in July 1925 in a dingy apartment with no midwife present and therefore the labour was very difficult for her mother. A cat watched them the whole time; its luminous green eyes were observant like a guardian animal. Kathy grew up discriminated against even in the orphanage and with the Great Depression, she was sometimes forced to eat tin plates to get nutrients and most of the time, she had no food at all. Being acquainted with cats in the back alley, Kathy had a great deal of experience with trash diving and would eat fish bones (after wrangling one from a poor stray cat). Kathy's eyes are monolid and squinted. She also has white skin and plain black hair that made it obvious she was of East Asian descent. This made her even more discriminated against, especially in school, where other kids will taunt her and make fun of her eyes. She scratched her bully's eye once and got expelled for it. The orphanage forcibly locked her in her room for a month and attempted to make her malnourished, but she simply got more rebellious and would leave at certain times through the window like a cat. During World War 2, the discrimination against immigrants was at an all-time high, especially towards Italians and East Asians. Kathy was rescued from being trapped behind a metal fence with barbed wires along with other Asian immigrants and Asian-Americans by being adopted by an American when she was 17, just a month before she would officially turn 18. Kathy’s adoptive father treated her well and even gave her a cat for comfort because she was similar to one up until she turned 18 when she would receive her first “customer” who, in reality, raped her while she was locked up in her room with them. Her adoptive father would later simply dub it as a business regime that all adult girls like her must do. She reluctantly follows this mindset and continues to be pimped by him from that age and onwards. Kathy's adoptive father also had a side job selling cocaine and other types of recreational drugs. He was lucky when a customer related to the Italian mob family residing in America had bought all kinds of drugs from him at a reckless price. Kathy saw the customer's face and it was bruised up; he had a large black eye, scars that were likely from the war, and dead eyes that were twitching from withdrawal. Kathy has amassed a bunch of cats which she adopted, and because of her anxious attachment, she locks them up down in the basement where they are forced to feed off of what Kathy is only giving them and keeps on populating. Kathy actually has killed several of her customers and has witnessed her pimp kill some of them too for failing to fail or doing too much damage. Kathy was influenced by her pimp and only started killing later on. These bodies are always dumped in the basement where the cats will feed on them and eventually develop a taste for human flesh. Once, business was actually going well, and Kathy had forgotten to feed her cats for a month. When she came to check back on them again, several cats were bloody and gruesome and they had developed a taste for human flesh. Kathy died from blood loss due to the injury she obtained from one of her cats pouncing on her and scratching her eye. There was no body to be found that next morning. {Kathy died in December of 1952.} HELL KATHY Kathy arrived in hell and did sex work for a time; her customers were mostly men, but she also didn't mind women. During this time, Angel was also performing sex work and also had a customer demographic of mostly men. They were in the same strip club, but did not find much interest in each other. Angel, specifically, shrugged her off while he was counting bills and snorting cocaine. Kathy met Valentino in hell at a later date than Angel. He reveals to her that he has seen her with her adoptive father (aka Kathy's pimp) and offers to extend her duties in his porn studio along with some other lovely ladies with him. Kathy agrees, and signs her name on the contract, and sells her soul to Valentino and at his porn studio. Kathy was intended to star in heterosexual roleplay porn before lesbian sex became popular and Valentino made use of her in this genre instead. Her past works were left in the dust and her most popular work—that won a Sex-x-xi Award against Tiffany Titfucker—is a hardcore lesbian porn movie. Kathy is an energetic girl with calico patterned fur. She has a pattern of hissing at people she doesn't like but purrs in the present of those that she does like. Her ears and tail have a mind of its own, giving away what she's really feeling if you look close enough. Kathy likes saying “like”. When Kathy was recruited into Valentino's porn studio, Angel Dust originally intended to ignore her, but she took notice of him and called her out on shrugging her off the first time around. Angel Dust says he charges extra for girls which only enrages Kathy. Valentino steps in, much to Angel's dismay and Kathy was all heart eyes for him. Kathy faced a lot of similar abuse to Angel Dust, but the difference is that she was brainwashed into thinking all of it was consensual (+ she was under the influence of the love potion for most of those times). Angel Dust later brings this up to Kathy and she starts to question herself if she's really consenting to all of it. Later on, Kathy form a bond with angel dust and angel dust even introduce Kathy to charlie and the other demon in the hazbin hotel. Kathy really like's the hotel. and the demon's she meet. Kathy even meet the demon king himself "Lucifer". Charlie is just much happier than she is and hoping that Kathy will join to the path of redemption, in Charlie's shocked Kathy dissaproved and said "I'm no where on path of redemption to the heaven, just look at me I'm whore" Kathy then Left to go for a shoot for Valentino as she's walking she noticed angel dust being harrased, Kathy then scratches and bites a guy to his death that was harassing Angel Dust outside of the porn studio once. Angel Dust says he could have also dealt with that himself and shoots a guy who was aiming for Kathy's back. They're even now. Kathy smile at angel dust as they both handle the shark Mafia group and killed them Kathy was the first to get a crush on Angel Dust as angel dust was pursuing Husk, this left Kathy heartbroken but she respect angel dust and didn't intervene with their relationship. The termination came and Adam when down with the other angel's and Kathy help Charlie and angel dust to fight. the battle go on and unfortunately event happened and sirpentious died when Adam shoot him with beam. everyone's from the hotel mourn from sirpentious death. The battle stop when Lucifer came and help Charlie. A years passed after the termination and everyone know that a soul can be redeem and sirpentious is the example. Angel dust and Kathy's journey into the redemption started as they they set out on a journey to take down Valentino's porn studio and set out on a journey to emotionally heal. Kathy love's to admired Angel dust from affar as she respect angel's dust and husk relationship, she's didn't confess as she knew it won't matter. |
2024.05.21 19:14 Alternative_Ease6049 I'm being encouraged to intervene in my ex's relationship but I'm scared to.
Hello OKOP fam. Long time listener here.
I know the title sounds bad, but here me out.
I (26M) am being encouraged to intervene in my (26f) ex girlfriend's relationship by friends but I'm afraid to do so.
Me and my ex, who we'll call Samantha, got together at 17 and dated until we were 25. We were each others first for everything and we were extremely close. In April of last year she broke up with me out of the blue and got with her co-worker, Paul, the next week. I was devastated, I cut contact immediately and tried to move on, long story short I ended up having a mental breakdown and attempted to take my own life. In September, I was lucky enough to escape the poverty of my home town when I was offered a place at a good university in the north west of England. I started playing rugby again and even met a girl, Lucy, after my friends convinced me to meet her as she was a mutual friend of theirs.
In February, I was forced to move back home after I broke my back playing rugby after a scrum collapsed onto me. Samantha contacted me after she changed her number when she heard I had come back. She wanted to apologise for everything and to bury the hatchet and move past everything that happened last year. At first l was adamant I didn't want to but Lucy convinced me to accept it, but to be careful. Soon afterwards, Samantha asked on an old group chat between us and our friends if anyone was awake. She had a significant rant about how Paul was treating her poorly and she didn't know what to do. He blew up at her when she tried to set a boundary, called her horrible names, never allows her to go out alone, demands her work contacts and even tries to control her finances to some extent. Naturally, we were all significantly concerned and comforted her. I took this to my friend who works in law enforcement, who confirmed it met the legal definition of domestic abuse under UK law. Me and my friends came to the conclusion that one of us is going to have to intervene and try to break them up and support Samantha. They refuse to do it as they're frightened of Paul and now it's fallen on my shoulders to do it. Even Lucy is encouraging me to do it.
I'm very scared of what the consequences will be, what if she thinks I still like her? I don't, I'm happily in a relationship and don't want that to change. What if she gets the wrong impression? I feel a sense of protectiveness over her, but nothing more than I would with my friends. Im
Okop family, what do I do?
submitted by Alternative_Ease6049 to okopshow [link] [comments]
I know the title sounds bad, but here me out.
I (26M) am being encouraged to intervene in my (26f) ex girlfriend's relationship by friends but I'm afraid to do so.
Me and my ex, who we'll call Samantha, got together at 17 and dated until we were 25. We were each others first for everything and we were extremely close. In April of last year she broke up with me out of the blue and got with her co-worker, Paul, the next week. I was devastated, I cut contact immediately and tried to move on, long story short I ended up having a mental breakdown and attempted to take my own life. In September, I was lucky enough to escape the poverty of my home town when I was offered a place at a good university in the north west of England. I started playing rugby again and even met a girl, Lucy, after my friends convinced me to meet her as she was a mutual friend of theirs.
In February, I was forced to move back home after I broke my back playing rugby after a scrum collapsed onto me. Samantha contacted me after she changed her number when she heard I had come back. She wanted to apologise for everything and to bury the hatchet and move past everything that happened last year. At first l was adamant I didn't want to but Lucy convinced me to accept it, but to be careful. Soon afterwards, Samantha asked on an old group chat between us and our friends if anyone was awake. She had a significant rant about how Paul was treating her poorly and she didn't know what to do. He blew up at her when she tried to set a boundary, called her horrible names, never allows her to go out alone, demands her work contacts and even tries to control her finances to some extent. Naturally, we were all significantly concerned and comforted her. I took this to my friend who works in law enforcement, who confirmed it met the legal definition of domestic abuse under UK law. Me and my friends came to the conclusion that one of us is going to have to intervene and try to break them up and support Samantha. They refuse to do it as they're frightened of Paul and now it's fallen on my shoulders to do it. Even Lucy is encouraging me to do it.
I'm very scared of what the consequences will be, what if she thinks I still like her? I don't, I'm happily in a relationship and don't want that to change. What if she gets the wrong impression? I feel a sense of protectiveness over her, but nothing more than I would with my friends. Im
Okop family, what do I do?
2024.05.21 19:12 denastix One Week Post Op
Hey everyone,
It's been one week since surgery and I'm sharing my notes on my daily condition/progress here in case it's helpful to anyone. Feel free to ask questions!
Overview: Here's a link to my first post that includes some details about my injury and pre-op experience. https://www.reddit.com/ACL/s/UOegIkH9i2
Day 0 - Surgery Day Surgeon said everything went well. Surgery itself was about 2.5 hours - ACL reconstruction with patella autograph and repairs of both menisci. MCL and LCL healed on its own and there was no need for the LET. Leg is locked at 0° extension and I'm NWB for at least 8 weeks. I was told to schedule PT after my 2wk follow up and to do ankle pumps and (attempt) leg raises in the meantime.
Pain levels are 5/10 on average, even with the nerve block. I was prescribed Percocet (pain relief), Diclofenac (NSAID), Cephalexin (antibiotic), and regular strength aspirin (DVT prophylaxis); I'm taking them on a strict schedule with alarms so I don't miss a dose.
I also take fiber gummies in the morning (it was already part of my daily routine) and Sennakot dual at night, along with bananas and apples as snacks/meals with my pills throughout. I bought 5mg THC/10mg CBD/15mg CBN edibles for when I'm done with the Percocet. I'm also elevating and icing as much as possible (cold therapy machine + ice packs)
Day 1: Didn't sleep as well, mostly because I'm sleeping on an air mattress in my living room and it usually takes me a night to get comfortable in a new bed/space (I'm in my living room to be closer to the bathroom and so visitors can have easier access to me.)
Nerve block wore off by the evening and pain seemed like it was at it's peak, reaching as high a 9/10 especially when dealing with the blood rush after standing. Had to take two Percocets instead of my one for a dose to get through it, but pain is still manageable.
Day 2: Slept much better than the previous night, even with having to wake up multiple times to take medication.
Pain has subsided back to a 5-6/10 like Day 0, so just sticking with my medicine schedule. My most comfortable position is laying down with my leg elevated on my wedge pillow, followed by sitting upright with my leg at level.
I had my first bowel movements today. Not only is it earlier than I expected (based on other people's stories in these threads), but it's more frequent and came with some sight cramping. I'm hoping we're back to normal after this.
Day 3: Did not sleep as well as the night before. The "heaviness" of my leg is more noticeable and I think I experienced some swelling (leading to increased pain) due to blood rush throughout my leg. Leg felt more comfortable and less swollen by around 3am. Also had to wake up more often than before; my bathroom schedule did not line up with my medication schedule as I hoped it would, so this caused me to wake up at least 5 times a night to do either.
Knee pain when sitting is a 3/10 and a 6-7/10 when initially standing up. It also starts to flare up 30-60 mins before my next Percocet dose, so I'm currently sticking with my timing and dose and will taper off/switch to edibles in the next few days.
A few hours later, I realized that I was having ambiguous and worrisome symptoms from -- I assumed -- the Percocet (chest discomfort, heart palpitations, and increased anxiety), so I decided to pause on the next dose and switch to my edibles + extra strength acetaminophen. I'm starting to feel a 7/10 knee pain.
Day 4: Worst sleep of my life. Not only did I have to pee so often, the knee pain shot up to a 7-9/10 accompanied by what felt like swelling, even with elevation and icing. I think me getting up so often to use the bathroom also aggravated the pain/swelling. Doesn't help that a mosquito made it's way into my living room and harassed me all night. I feel fewer chest symptoms and anxiety, so I'm still deciding if I should officially stop the Percocet and just use the rest of my prescriptions + OTC pain relief to get through or just cut down my dosage.
I feel like shit overall. I'm also sleep deprived, groggy/still high from the edibles, nauseous, sad, and in so much pain. Definitely the worse than Day 2 - I was dealing with pain but was in a fantastic mood on Day 2 lol
I truly didn't realize how much pain the Percocet was blocking until I stopped using it. The pain was so constant and uncomfortable that I decided to get back on it (after toughing it out through three missed doses) and only take a half pill every six hours. My concerning side effects have diminished and I also have pain relief, so I think I found the balance.
Day 5: I slept MUCH better last night, especially compared to the night before. I also had to use the bathroom way less often in the middle of the night, so I was able to get longer hours of sleep and only wake up to take my medications. I coupled the night dose with my THC/CBD/CBN gummies and I feel like this definitely helped with both pain and sleep.
We're back to an avg 3/10 for pain, which is a relief.
Day 6: Looking forward to not having to wake up in the middle of the night to take medications so that I can have a chance at more interrupted sleep.
Pain is at a minimum, but I'm a little worried about the levels when I run out of the Percocet (tomorrow night). I don't intend on getting a refill, so I really hope my pain has actually decreased and can be managed by Tylenol extra strength + my already prescribed NSAID + edibles.
My bigger annoyance is how heavy the brace feels on my leg and how bulky the ace wrap is on my knee. I've been wearing this brace since my injury, but it's never felt heavier, so I assume it feels this way because of my weakening muscles. I think weight of it is also slightly pulling on my incisions, so that's an unpleasant feeling. I have to keep the wrap on until my 2wk follow up, so I'm desperately counting down to that moment.
I'm now trying to keep myself constructively occupied during the times that I'm alone. The medications and pain made focusing on things like reading a tad challenging, so I've mostly been watching TV and scrolling through social media. I'm hoping to do more with my time now that the pain seems more under control.
submitted by denastix to ACL [link] [comments]
It's been one week since surgery and I'm sharing my notes on my daily condition/progress here in case it's helpful to anyone. Feel free to ask questions!
Overview: Here's a link to my first post that includes some details about my injury and pre-op experience. https://www.reddit.com/ACL/s/UOegIkH9i2
Day 0 - Surgery Day Surgeon said everything went well. Surgery itself was about 2.5 hours - ACL reconstruction with patella autograph and repairs of both menisci. MCL and LCL healed on its own and there was no need for the LET. Leg is locked at 0° extension and I'm NWB for at least 8 weeks. I was told to schedule PT after my 2wk follow up and to do ankle pumps and (attempt) leg raises in the meantime.
Pain levels are 5/10 on average, even with the nerve block. I was prescribed Percocet (pain relief), Diclofenac (NSAID), Cephalexin (antibiotic), and regular strength aspirin (DVT prophylaxis); I'm taking them on a strict schedule with alarms so I don't miss a dose.
I also take fiber gummies in the morning (it was already part of my daily routine) and Sennakot dual at night, along with bananas and apples as snacks/meals with my pills throughout. I bought 5mg THC/10mg CBD/15mg CBN edibles for when I'm done with the Percocet. I'm also elevating and icing as much as possible (cold therapy machine + ice packs)
Day 1: Didn't sleep as well, mostly because I'm sleeping on an air mattress in my living room and it usually takes me a night to get comfortable in a new bed/space (I'm in my living room to be closer to the bathroom and so visitors can have easier access to me.)
Nerve block wore off by the evening and pain seemed like it was at it's peak, reaching as high a 9/10 especially when dealing with the blood rush after standing. Had to take two Percocets instead of my one for a dose to get through it, but pain is still manageable.
Day 2: Slept much better than the previous night, even with having to wake up multiple times to take medication.
Pain has subsided back to a 5-6/10 like Day 0, so just sticking with my medicine schedule. My most comfortable position is laying down with my leg elevated on my wedge pillow, followed by sitting upright with my leg at level.
I had my first bowel movements today. Not only is it earlier than I expected (based on other people's stories in these threads), but it's more frequent and came with some sight cramping. I'm hoping we're back to normal after this.
Day 3: Did not sleep as well as the night before. The "heaviness" of my leg is more noticeable and I think I experienced some swelling (leading to increased pain) due to blood rush throughout my leg. Leg felt more comfortable and less swollen by around 3am. Also had to wake up more often than before; my bathroom schedule did not line up with my medication schedule as I hoped it would, so this caused me to wake up at least 5 times a night to do either.
Knee pain when sitting is a 3/10 and a 6-7/10 when initially standing up. It also starts to flare up 30-60 mins before my next Percocet dose, so I'm currently sticking with my timing and dose and will taper off/switch to edibles in the next few days.
A few hours later, I realized that I was having ambiguous and worrisome symptoms from -- I assumed -- the Percocet (chest discomfort, heart palpitations, and increased anxiety), so I decided to pause on the next dose and switch to my edibles + extra strength acetaminophen. I'm starting to feel a 7/10 knee pain.
Day 4: Worst sleep of my life. Not only did I have to pee so often, the knee pain shot up to a 7-9/10 accompanied by what felt like swelling, even with elevation and icing. I think me getting up so often to use the bathroom also aggravated the pain/swelling. Doesn't help that a mosquito made it's way into my living room and harassed me all night. I feel fewer chest symptoms and anxiety, so I'm still deciding if I should officially stop the Percocet and just use the rest of my prescriptions + OTC pain relief to get through or just cut down my dosage.
I feel like shit overall. I'm also sleep deprived, groggy/still high from the edibles, nauseous, sad, and in so much pain. Definitely the worse than Day 2 - I was dealing with pain but was in a fantastic mood on Day 2 lol
I truly didn't realize how much pain the Percocet was blocking until I stopped using it. The pain was so constant and uncomfortable that I decided to get back on it (after toughing it out through three missed doses) and only take a half pill every six hours. My concerning side effects have diminished and I also have pain relief, so I think I found the balance.
Day 5: I slept MUCH better last night, especially compared to the night before. I also had to use the bathroom way less often in the middle of the night, so I was able to get longer hours of sleep and only wake up to take my medications. I coupled the night dose with my THC/CBD/CBN gummies and I feel like this definitely helped with both pain and sleep.
We're back to an avg 3/10 for pain, which is a relief.
Day 6: Looking forward to not having to wake up in the middle of the night to take medications so that I can have a chance at more interrupted sleep.
Pain is at a minimum, but I'm a little worried about the levels when I run out of the Percocet (tomorrow night). I don't intend on getting a refill, so I really hope my pain has actually decreased and can be managed by Tylenol extra strength + my already prescribed NSAID + edibles.
My bigger annoyance is how heavy the brace feels on my leg and how bulky the ace wrap is on my knee. I've been wearing this brace since my injury, but it's never felt heavier, so I assume it feels this way because of my weakening muscles. I think weight of it is also slightly pulling on my incisions, so that's an unpleasant feeling. I have to keep the wrap on until my 2wk follow up, so I'm desperately counting down to that moment.
I'm now trying to keep myself constructively occupied during the times that I'm alone. The medications and pain made focusing on things like reading a tad challenging, so I've mostly been watching TV and scrolling through social media. I'm hoping to do more with my time now that the pain seems more under control.
2024.05.21 18:59 Finaldragoon Nutritionist set me up for failure?
My most recent session with my Nutritionist requested I consume "At least 300 calories per meal, and at least 2700 calories total per day." 1) I'm lucky to consume half of that total daily intake, 2) That would require upwards of 9 meals a day, once every 2 hours assuming I'm awake for 18 hours a day.
For reference, I'm 5'11" and 145lbs. This feels like an impossible goal, and I have no idea what they want from me.
submitted by Finaldragoon to ARFID [link] [comments]
For reference, I'm 5'11" and 145lbs. This feels like an impossible goal, and I have no idea what they want from me.
2024.05.21 18:59 Relevant-Instance305 Very informative
 | submitted by Relevant-Instance305 to funny [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 18:50 Monte199 28 M Looking to talk about pretty much anything and everything
Hey there!
So, I absolutely love talking to people. It doesn't really matter who you are, where you're from, what you look like, or anything like that. I'm always excited about finding out how other people think or what they're interested in.
Because of this, you can talk to me about pretty much anything. Whether it's giving advice on how to handle any problems you're currently going through in life, or something as simple as just suggestions for the best snacks to make late at night, I'm your guy.
I also am totally open to taking things wherever they lead. If we only talk for one night and everything is great, but you don't feel like talking again afterwards? No problem. Want to talk every day for the rest of our lives? Also, no problem. It's all entirely up to you!
Looking forward to hearing from you(:
submitted by Monte199 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
So, I absolutely love talking to people. It doesn't really matter who you are, where you're from, what you look like, or anything like that. I'm always excited about finding out how other people think or what they're interested in.
Because of this, you can talk to me about pretty much anything. Whether it's giving advice on how to handle any problems you're currently going through in life, or something as simple as just suggestions for the best snacks to make late at night, I'm your guy.
I also am totally open to taking things wherever they lead. If we only talk for one night and everything is great, but you don't feel like talking again afterwards? No problem. Want to talk every day for the rest of our lives? Also, no problem. It's all entirely up to you!
Looking forward to hearing from you(:
2024.05.21 18:49 rainbowinthepark Week Zero - Accountability Journal
I am taking a leaf out of u/Molehill_Mountains book and starting a sort of diary/journal format to accompany the journey I'm about to go on. I'm unsure if this will be any help to anyone, I don't mind just talking into the void, but I feel like it will work well for me in terms of progress and accountability.
First of all, I'm a 34F from Scotland. I'm 5ft 4 inches and my current (starting) weight is 289.3lbs, with a BMI of 49. Let me tell you it was a shock when I converted lbs to stone and seen that that's 20.6 stone. I have never, ever been this heavy. I've always been a larger girl but this is out of control. I was already planning on starting a diet this week (I've just come back from 2 weeks in Spain and wanted to 'go out with a bang' so to speak!) and had been contemplating Mounjaro, but once I saw the numbers I got the fright of my life and decided to bite the bullet.
So this is technically week 0 - I haven't took the first dose of Mounjaro yet, but I do have it in the fridge waiting for me to start on Friday after work.
I'm choosing Friday afternoon because, in the first instance, the weekends are when I tend to snack and over indulge far too much while sitting at home, so I'd like the effects to be strongest over the weekend. But also, if I have any side effects, I'd rather be at home than sitting in work.
My partner is also starting this journey alongside me. He's very unhappy with his weight. I wont go into his stats here because those are his private details and not mine to share, but he weighs slightly less than me, but not by much. I'm hoping that by doing it together, we will be even more likely to succeed.
We are getting married next October and both wanted to lose weight for that, but I don't think either of us realised just how dire the situation is.
Our weight is definitely affecting our relationship. Not in a 'we're rocky' way, no no, we're definitely a very strong, loving couple. But both of us are, quite frankly, disgusted by our own bodies, which really knocks the confidence, which means neither of us really want to be intimate or display any physical affection for each other, not from lack of love, just from being so self-conscious about our own bodies.
We were both on Ozempic before and it definitely did curb hunger... for about a week. After that it felt like it wasn't really doing anything at all, for either of us. We were only on it for about 6 weeks, and as soon as we hit one week of not being able to get it due to stock shortages, we just... stopped using it and ballooned back up. I lost about 6lbs on Ozempic and my partner was about 8lbs but it came straight back, and then some.
So I'm going into this cautiously optimistic. I have a 'It's going to work this time' mentality and I've already started my diet this week. I'm also considering intermittent fasting, but I think I will broach that after a few weeks being on Mounjaro so I can see how it affects me.
I've read the 'first time' tips and things on here, but I'm happy to hear anything else anyone might think will be helpful. :)
submitted by rainbowinthepark to mounjarouk [link] [comments]
First of all, I'm a 34F from Scotland. I'm 5ft 4 inches and my current (starting) weight is 289.3lbs, with a BMI of 49. Let me tell you it was a shock when I converted lbs to stone and seen that that's 20.6 stone. I have never, ever been this heavy. I've always been a larger girl but this is out of control. I was already planning on starting a diet this week (I've just come back from 2 weeks in Spain and wanted to 'go out with a bang' so to speak!) and had been contemplating Mounjaro, but once I saw the numbers I got the fright of my life and decided to bite the bullet.
So this is technically week 0 - I haven't took the first dose of Mounjaro yet, but I do have it in the fridge waiting for me to start on Friday after work.
I'm choosing Friday afternoon because, in the first instance, the weekends are when I tend to snack and over indulge far too much while sitting at home, so I'd like the effects to be strongest over the weekend. But also, if I have any side effects, I'd rather be at home than sitting in work.
My partner is also starting this journey alongside me. He's very unhappy with his weight. I wont go into his stats here because those are his private details and not mine to share, but he weighs slightly less than me, but not by much. I'm hoping that by doing it together, we will be even more likely to succeed.
We are getting married next October and both wanted to lose weight for that, but I don't think either of us realised just how dire the situation is.
Our weight is definitely affecting our relationship. Not in a 'we're rocky' way, no no, we're definitely a very strong, loving couple. But both of us are, quite frankly, disgusted by our own bodies, which really knocks the confidence, which means neither of us really want to be intimate or display any physical affection for each other, not from lack of love, just from being so self-conscious about our own bodies.
We were both on Ozempic before and it definitely did curb hunger... for about a week. After that it felt like it wasn't really doing anything at all, for either of us. We were only on it for about 6 weeks, and as soon as we hit one week of not being able to get it due to stock shortages, we just... stopped using it and ballooned back up. I lost about 6lbs on Ozempic and my partner was about 8lbs but it came straight back, and then some.
So I'm going into this cautiously optimistic. I have a 'It's going to work this time' mentality and I've already started my diet this week. I'm also considering intermittent fasting, but I think I will broach that after a few weeks being on Mounjaro so I can see how it affects me.
I've read the 'first time' tips and things on here, but I'm happy to hear anything else anyone might think will be helpful. :)
2024.05.21 18:42 arckadventure Wake Me Up From This Nightmare
I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.
submitted by arckadventure to BreakUps [link] [comments]
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.
2024.05.21 18:39 lifeandpotatoes AITA for not wanting to share my school lunch with my friend?
So I have this close friend, lets call her Maddie. Me and Maddie are really close and we would usually just sit with each other during lunch and I would just eat my lunch while on my phone and Maddie doesnt eat lunch and just goes on her phone. I asked her about this and she said she eats lunch or brunch during the morning recess where she goes to the canteen and she buys rice meals and that shes full from the rice meal to get her through lunch and until recess in the afternoon.
Then there was a time where I was eating and I guess Maddie just wanted to have a bite of my food and she was basically saying things like "That looks good." "Can I have some." and I'm a good friend ofcourse I offered some of my food to her and Maddie took out these colapsable plastic spoon n fork and started to eat half of my lunch and at that time I didnt mind, sure I was eager to go to the canteen during the afternoon recess but as long as my friend wasnt hungry then I was ok with that
But ever since that day, whenever its lunch time and I take out my food Maddie would always look at my food and say those little things like "That looks good" and she would touch my food and be like "whats this" but wont take it. She was basically giving hints that she wants to have a bite and ofcourse I'm not stupid and I be like "c'mon eat with me" and she'd be grinning ear to ear getting out her collapsable spoon n fork.
This went on for a week until I got annoyed. Because of my lunch, I dont feel the need to go to the canteen during the afternoon recess but since I could only eat half, I would be buying from the canteen or when I get home I eat whatever I could find or whip up. Please do acknowledge that I am not a selfish person when it comes to food but it just couldnt keep going on like this. My mom wakes up early on the weekdays to prepare me a school lunch for me to ofcourse eat and not be hungry through out the shool day, just for me, her one n only singular child, not two not three, just me. Take note that Maddie and her family are not struggling financially, so surely she has good food at her home, her family is better off than mine and Maddie during the start of the school year, she would also bring her own lunch just like me. I asked her about it and she said "Oh I dont usually eat the lunch my mom packs me and I feel bad becuase itll just be a waste and it just makes me have to carry more things to school so I asked my mom to stop preparing me lunches" and this kinda pissed me off becuase if she doesnt get hungry during lunch then why would she eat mine and it seemed like she was solving her own problem by just eating my lunch and not having to carry her own but she probably didnt mean it like that, my anger just likes to make things up.
I usually eat my lunch immediately after the bell rings but when it got to the second week of this, I didnt eat my food during lunch, instead I ate it during the afternoon recess, I know Maddie wouldnt be there to ask for my food becuase she would be at the canteen buying her own. On the third day of the second week, immediately after the lunch bell rings she went to me and asked "are you gonna eat your lunch" and I said "no" and went back to what I was doing she said "oh ok" and left me alone and basically this is how it went for the rest of the week where she would ask me about my food and I would just eat my lunch during recess.
By the third week, Maddie still didnt get the message but I hoped that she did and I started eating my food during lunch again but towards the end of the lunch time. When Maddie would come back from being somewhere, it would somehow time up with when im eating and she would go to me and be like "Oh wow that looks good" but this time I ignored her. She sat across from me hoping that I would pay her attention but I didnt even dare to take my eyes off of my phone. She touched my food and was like "whats this it looks good" but didnt take it and I just continued eating. This is how it went for the third week and by then she already got the message.
Now we're on the fourth week. Maddie stopped wanting to have some of my lunch but somewhere during this week, we were going to the other building of our school and this was during recess and I was eating this little snack thats literally the size of a cube and I only had one. Maddie asked if she could have the rest of it. I was going to give it to her becuase I felt bad for not giving her my lunch for the past few weeks but she tried to bite it off from my hand which caught me off guard and my natural instict ofcourse tells me to back my hand away, and she thought I was being a selfish pig.
She looked at me and said "When I ask for your food youre not gonna share but when you ask for mine, I share, its not fair". This was true but ever since the second week of all of this, I swore to not ask for any of her food since I wont be giving her any of mine so ofcourse I wont take any of hers and I stuck to my word and never did.
I kinda felt bad after this incident and felt selfish so I started offering her my lunch but she refused which made me feel terrible but we just forgot about all of it and moved on. AITA?
submitted by lifeandpotatoes to AITAH [link] [comments]
Then there was a time where I was eating and I guess Maddie just wanted to have a bite of my food and she was basically saying things like "That looks good." "Can I have some." and I'm a good friend ofcourse I offered some of my food to her and Maddie took out these colapsable plastic spoon n fork and started to eat half of my lunch and at that time I didnt mind, sure I was eager to go to the canteen during the afternoon recess but as long as my friend wasnt hungry then I was ok with that
But ever since that day, whenever its lunch time and I take out my food Maddie would always look at my food and say those little things like "That looks good" and she would touch my food and be like "whats this" but wont take it. She was basically giving hints that she wants to have a bite and ofcourse I'm not stupid and I be like "c'mon eat with me" and she'd be grinning ear to ear getting out her collapsable spoon n fork.
This went on for a week until I got annoyed. Because of my lunch, I dont feel the need to go to the canteen during the afternoon recess but since I could only eat half, I would be buying from the canteen or when I get home I eat whatever I could find or whip up. Please do acknowledge that I am not a selfish person when it comes to food but it just couldnt keep going on like this. My mom wakes up early on the weekdays to prepare me a school lunch for me to ofcourse eat and not be hungry through out the shool day, just for me, her one n only singular child, not two not three, just me. Take note that Maddie and her family are not struggling financially, so surely she has good food at her home, her family is better off than mine and Maddie during the start of the school year, she would also bring her own lunch just like me. I asked her about it and she said "Oh I dont usually eat the lunch my mom packs me and I feel bad becuase itll just be a waste and it just makes me have to carry more things to school so I asked my mom to stop preparing me lunches" and this kinda pissed me off becuase if she doesnt get hungry during lunch then why would she eat mine and it seemed like she was solving her own problem by just eating my lunch and not having to carry her own but she probably didnt mean it like that, my anger just likes to make things up.
I usually eat my lunch immediately after the bell rings but when it got to the second week of this, I didnt eat my food during lunch, instead I ate it during the afternoon recess, I know Maddie wouldnt be there to ask for my food becuase she would be at the canteen buying her own. On the third day of the second week, immediately after the lunch bell rings she went to me and asked "are you gonna eat your lunch" and I said "no" and went back to what I was doing she said "oh ok" and left me alone and basically this is how it went for the rest of the week where she would ask me about my food and I would just eat my lunch during recess.
By the third week, Maddie still didnt get the message but I hoped that she did and I started eating my food during lunch again but towards the end of the lunch time. When Maddie would come back from being somewhere, it would somehow time up with when im eating and she would go to me and be like "Oh wow that looks good" but this time I ignored her. She sat across from me hoping that I would pay her attention but I didnt even dare to take my eyes off of my phone. She touched my food and was like "whats this it looks good" but didnt take it and I just continued eating. This is how it went for the third week and by then she already got the message.
Now we're on the fourth week. Maddie stopped wanting to have some of my lunch but somewhere during this week, we were going to the other building of our school and this was during recess and I was eating this little snack thats literally the size of a cube and I only had one. Maddie asked if she could have the rest of it. I was going to give it to her becuase I felt bad for not giving her my lunch for the past few weeks but she tried to bite it off from my hand which caught me off guard and my natural instict ofcourse tells me to back my hand away, and she thought I was being a selfish pig.
She looked at me and said "When I ask for your food youre not gonna share but when you ask for mine, I share, its not fair". This was true but ever since the second week of all of this, I swore to not ask for any of her food since I wont be giving her any of mine so ofcourse I wont take any of hers and I stuck to my word and never did.
I kinda felt bad after this incident and felt selfish so I started offering her my lunch but she refused which made me feel terrible but we just forgot about all of it and moved on. AITA?
2024.05.21 18:38 arckadventure Wake Me Up From This Nightmare
I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.
submitted by arckadventure to Infidelity [link] [comments]
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.
2024.05.21 18:34 Arroway21 Creatine
Hello.
Has anyone had experience with Creatine supplementation contributing to a breakthrough seizure in situations where their seizures were relatively under control with medication?
I am a 53 year old female and I have had only a few incidences of seizures in the last 8 years.
The source of my seizure activity was from an OPERABLE cavernous malformation. They removed it successfully but some extra activity remains present due to previous seizures and the surgery itself.
My first ever seizure (pre-surgery) I woke up from a nap and was trying to get ready to leave the house for my nieces kindergarten graduation. To my horror, I realized I was unable to speak. I was with my mother and in the car and trying to say anything and she realized something was wrong. She brought me to the ER and as soon as we walked in, I had my first tonic clonic seizure. That’s when they found out about the cavernoma.
Since the first seizure episode I take Keppra and things have been pretty good although I have experienced two more definite episodes of tonic clonic seizures since the first one.
Every time I have had a seizure it has been in the presence of my mom. My poor mom!
The first breakthrough seizure occurred about a year after surgery when I STUPIDLY thought I could try to wean off of the Keppra. That was a bad idea. Without warning, I seized. Obviously I should not have tried to stop the medication.
The second breakthrough seizure was a couple of years later and occurred at the end of a very hot day. I had been commuting by bicycle and had another tonic clonic. This one was proceeded by a very bad mood in the early evening. I was extremely irritated for no reason and later that evening seized.
Every time I have had a seizure it has been tonic clonic and I have woken up in the hospital.
I live alone most of the year and am a bit of a hermit which is totally fine most of the time as I am relatively seizure free… HOWEVER…
In the last couple of months I have started weight lifting to build muscle and with that, I also started taking Creatine (5g) per day. Everything was going well until last week.
I was at the gym doing very high intensity sprint work on a spin bike. It was a hot day. I left the gym and drove to the grocery store (one minute from gym). Upon checking out, I kept entering my debit code incorrectly I felt confused and a bit embarrassed. I paid in cash and went to the next grocery (where I live there are two groceries and you need to go to both to find everything). I had same problem with debit card at second grocery and this time, no ability to figure out how to pay in cash so I left. When I got back to my car I was met with more confusion. All I can remember is not being able to get into my car. My car has an alarm and a fob. Even once I was in my car I had trouble figuring out how to turn it on. I then woke up in my car (HOT CAR!) and was able to turn it on and drive to the post office. Even though I was feeling horrible and confused it did not occur to me that I could be near having a seizure. After checking my P.O. Box I made it home, out of my car into the gate and even managed to mumble something about the heat to my neighbor in passing.
I made it inside and the next thing I know I am on the floor. I had hit my nose, had a scrape on my cheek, forehead, nose, right knuckle and left toe. Also slightly bitten tongue. I had a horrible headache and nausea. I just got in bed and went to sleep.
When I woke up, my left hand felt paralyzed (clenched shut). My mind felt scrambled. My vision on the right felt very distorted. I was extremely hungry and thirsty and even though I had all of these challenges I opted for a snack that was not the easiest to make nor was it the tastiest.
For some reason I ate the snack with my paralyzed hand and went back to sleep. I woke up absolutely drenched in sweat. I took a shower and hydrated and took my evening dose of Keppra. My mind was starting to return to normal.
I was thinking nonstop about how to get in my car. I went up to see if I could open it and it was fine. I tried playing some of the word games that I play and felt scrambled at first but was able to get back to normal. I practiced talking. Words were jumbled at first and then I was able to speak normally.
I looked up a recipe for homemade electrolyte drink, made some and chugged it down.
I took it very easy for a few days and lucky I work from home… I have been able to just chill and obsess over whether I had a breakthrough seizure or whether I may have just had heat exhaustion. A week later and I am feeling myself again though I have been very tired in the morning and allowing myself extra sleep.
I am away from home for a couple of weeks. I do have my yearly check up with my neurologist coming up. I really don’t want to tell her about this.
If this was a seizure, this is the first time I have been alone. I hope it was not a seizure. If it was, I am not sure. Also, if it was, my episodes are years apart and they seem to be triggered by extreme heat and exercise. My only thing that is making me feel better mentally is that if I did have a seizure alone, I survived.
I also just joined Bumble because think it might be worth having a mate because of things like this. And not just because of this. I do feel lonely sometimes.
But back to my big question…
Has anyone had experience with Creatine contributing to breakthrough seizures?
Thank-you for any input and please try to refrain from saying anything that might freak me out as I am already quite unnerved.
Xoxo
submitted by Arroway21 to Epilepsy [link] [comments]
Has anyone had experience with Creatine supplementation contributing to a breakthrough seizure in situations where their seizures were relatively under control with medication?
I am a 53 year old female and I have had only a few incidences of seizures in the last 8 years.
The source of my seizure activity was from an OPERABLE cavernous malformation. They removed it successfully but some extra activity remains present due to previous seizures and the surgery itself.
My first ever seizure (pre-surgery) I woke up from a nap and was trying to get ready to leave the house for my nieces kindergarten graduation. To my horror, I realized I was unable to speak. I was with my mother and in the car and trying to say anything and she realized something was wrong. She brought me to the ER and as soon as we walked in, I had my first tonic clonic seizure. That’s when they found out about the cavernoma.
Since the first seizure episode I take Keppra and things have been pretty good although I have experienced two more definite episodes of tonic clonic seizures since the first one.
Every time I have had a seizure it has been in the presence of my mom. My poor mom!
The first breakthrough seizure occurred about a year after surgery when I STUPIDLY thought I could try to wean off of the Keppra. That was a bad idea. Without warning, I seized. Obviously I should not have tried to stop the medication.
The second breakthrough seizure was a couple of years later and occurred at the end of a very hot day. I had been commuting by bicycle and had another tonic clonic. This one was proceeded by a very bad mood in the early evening. I was extremely irritated for no reason and later that evening seized.
Every time I have had a seizure it has been tonic clonic and I have woken up in the hospital.
I live alone most of the year and am a bit of a hermit which is totally fine most of the time as I am relatively seizure free… HOWEVER…
In the last couple of months I have started weight lifting to build muscle and with that, I also started taking Creatine (5g) per day. Everything was going well until last week.
I was at the gym doing very high intensity sprint work on a spin bike. It was a hot day. I left the gym and drove to the grocery store (one minute from gym). Upon checking out, I kept entering my debit code incorrectly I felt confused and a bit embarrassed. I paid in cash and went to the next grocery (where I live there are two groceries and you need to go to both to find everything). I had same problem with debit card at second grocery and this time, no ability to figure out how to pay in cash so I left. When I got back to my car I was met with more confusion. All I can remember is not being able to get into my car. My car has an alarm and a fob. Even once I was in my car I had trouble figuring out how to turn it on. I then woke up in my car (HOT CAR!) and was able to turn it on and drive to the post office. Even though I was feeling horrible and confused it did not occur to me that I could be near having a seizure. After checking my P.O. Box I made it home, out of my car into the gate and even managed to mumble something about the heat to my neighbor in passing.
I made it inside and the next thing I know I am on the floor. I had hit my nose, had a scrape on my cheek, forehead, nose, right knuckle and left toe. Also slightly bitten tongue. I had a horrible headache and nausea. I just got in bed and went to sleep.
When I woke up, my left hand felt paralyzed (clenched shut). My mind felt scrambled. My vision on the right felt very distorted. I was extremely hungry and thirsty and even though I had all of these challenges I opted for a snack that was not the easiest to make nor was it the tastiest.
For some reason I ate the snack with my paralyzed hand and went back to sleep. I woke up absolutely drenched in sweat. I took a shower and hydrated and took my evening dose of Keppra. My mind was starting to return to normal.
I was thinking nonstop about how to get in my car. I went up to see if I could open it and it was fine. I tried playing some of the word games that I play and felt scrambled at first but was able to get back to normal. I practiced talking. Words were jumbled at first and then I was able to speak normally.
I looked up a recipe for homemade electrolyte drink, made some and chugged it down.
I took it very easy for a few days and lucky I work from home… I have been able to just chill and obsess over whether I had a breakthrough seizure or whether I may have just had heat exhaustion. A week later and I am feeling myself again though I have been very tired in the morning and allowing myself extra sleep.
I am away from home for a couple of weeks. I do have my yearly check up with my neurologist coming up. I really don’t want to tell her about this.
If this was a seizure, this is the first time I have been alone. I hope it was not a seizure. If it was, I am not sure. Also, if it was, my episodes are years apart and they seem to be triggered by extreme heat and exercise. My only thing that is making me feel better mentally is that if I did have a seizure alone, I survived.
I also just joined Bumble because think it might be worth having a mate because of things like this. And not just because of this. I do feel lonely sometimes.
But back to my big question…
Has anyone had experience with Creatine contributing to breakthrough seizures?
Thank-you for any input and please try to refrain from saying anything that might freak me out as I am already quite unnerved.
Xoxo
2024.05.21 18:32 TheWorstTypo Any advice for a recent "screamer"? 17M Void Cat testing my last nerve and I could use some help!
Hey all! Vet did not have any specific ideas and encouraged me to ask this sub and others filled with cat lovers to see if anyone has any ideas as this seems far more behavioral and relationship based vs medical
King will be 17 this year and for the first 16 years of his life, he was the purrrfect (sorry) cat and companion. I spoiled him rotten and I dont regret it for a minute and he's the most good natured, friendly, playful and affectionate feline you could ever meet.
A year and a half ago he was diagnosed with a hyperthyroid that introduced a whole new level of cat care to me, including scrubbing what could only be described as "machine gun back door action" from the walls.
Trying to get him to take the pills was pure horror, as was the liquid but luckily there is an ear application variation and though he's getting better, the vet was pretty clear that we are getting closer to the end and so expecting a full-recovery isn't going to be likely but to at least reduce the stress from his condition in both that he feels hungry when he's just eaten and has uncomfortable BMs
King was always mildly talkative in a friendly way - usually the first hour I got home from work would be him chirping and for lack of a better term, conversationally meowing. He's gently meow when it was time for dinner and I was late by 20 seconds, or to tell me when he was ready for us to go to bed, or when he wanted me to open the door so he could sun on the patio.
That changed with the onset of his condition as litter box visits obviously became distressful for him and each time he'd start warble yowling, Id run to the litter box and try to coo him and talk gently to him until I got it diagnosed.
With the medication that warble-yowling continued, but less intense, however, I think he's trained me into realizing that regular update meowing is not as effective as TRAUMA HOWLING
And now he does this for EVERYTHING. When he wants a snack, when he wants attention, when he wants to be picked up, when he wants to go out to the patio, several times during the day if I'm not in the same room as him, and several times at night when hes not happy with the dried food options and wants a fresh can of wet food at 3:40am. Twice he jsut started doing it when he woke up until I came to pick him up, and then he started purring.
I have the fortune of working from home so I can be a full-time caretaker, but my job is extremely stressful and I'm on meetings a lot. I've had to apologize and explain several times that I don't actually have a dying child in my apartment, it's just my cat who has decided that all vocal communication must be at a 10 volume set and screech yowling yodeling - to such a degree and frequency that he's almost choked on himself - is the new way to communicate.
I'm a patient person, but I was working on a really complex and frustrating project and he became so insistent and demanding for food after he turned his nose up at two options, I ended up slamming my hand against the wall and yelling his name and Im finding myself getting closer and closer to losing my patience.
This was not effective as it meant he updated the YOOOOWLING into pity "oh my god youre so mean" mewls and ran into a closet and I felt terrible and spent 10 minutes comforting him until he was purring - and the moment I got up he charged into the kitchen to begin the howling again as though he doesn't have 3 bowls of food, fresh water and had been fed 19 minutes earlier.
I know he's not doing it on purpose and I know he's suffering with thinking he's hungry and when he has BMs, the last thing I ever want to do is be scary to my feline bestie, but being exposed to this all day and all night is starting to really fray at my nerves - does anyone have any experience with someone who recently became a howl yowler and what possible fixes there are?
Thank you!!!
submitted by TheWorstTypo to cats [link] [comments]
King will be 17 this year and for the first 16 years of his life, he was the purrrfect (sorry) cat and companion. I spoiled him rotten and I dont regret it for a minute and he's the most good natured, friendly, playful and affectionate feline you could ever meet.
A year and a half ago he was diagnosed with a hyperthyroid that introduced a whole new level of cat care to me, including scrubbing what could only be described as "machine gun back door action" from the walls.
Trying to get him to take the pills was pure horror, as was the liquid but luckily there is an ear application variation and though he's getting better, the vet was pretty clear that we are getting closer to the end and so expecting a full-recovery isn't going to be likely but to at least reduce the stress from his condition in both that he feels hungry when he's just eaten and has uncomfortable BMs
King was always mildly talkative in a friendly way - usually the first hour I got home from work would be him chirping and for lack of a better term, conversationally meowing. He's gently meow when it was time for dinner and I was late by 20 seconds, or to tell me when he was ready for us to go to bed, or when he wanted me to open the door so he could sun on the patio.
That changed with the onset of his condition as litter box visits obviously became distressful for him and each time he'd start warble yowling, Id run to the litter box and try to coo him and talk gently to him until I got it diagnosed.
With the medication that warble-yowling continued, but less intense, however, I think he's trained me into realizing that regular update meowing is not as effective as TRAUMA HOWLING
And now he does this for EVERYTHING. When he wants a snack, when he wants attention, when he wants to be picked up, when he wants to go out to the patio, several times during the day if I'm not in the same room as him, and several times at night when hes not happy with the dried food options and wants a fresh can of wet food at 3:40am. Twice he jsut started doing it when he woke up until I came to pick him up, and then he started purring.
I have the fortune of working from home so I can be a full-time caretaker, but my job is extremely stressful and I'm on meetings a lot. I've had to apologize and explain several times that I don't actually have a dying child in my apartment, it's just my cat who has decided that all vocal communication must be at a 10 volume set and screech yowling yodeling - to such a degree and frequency that he's almost choked on himself - is the new way to communicate.
I'm a patient person, but I was working on a really complex and frustrating project and he became so insistent and demanding for food after he turned his nose up at two options, I ended up slamming my hand against the wall and yelling his name and Im finding myself getting closer and closer to losing my patience.
This was not effective as it meant he updated the YOOOOWLING into pity "oh my god youre so mean" mewls and ran into a closet and I felt terrible and spent 10 minutes comforting him until he was purring - and the moment I got up he charged into the kitchen to begin the howling again as though he doesn't have 3 bowls of food, fresh water and had been fed 19 minutes earlier.
I know he's not doing it on purpose and I know he's suffering with thinking he's hungry and when he has BMs, the last thing I ever want to do is be scary to my feline bestie, but being exposed to this all day and all night is starting to really fray at my nerves - does anyone have any experience with someone who recently became a howl yowler and what possible fixes there are?
Thank you!!!
2024.05.21 18:29 Korae 88% Winrate to Mythic - I love my Big Black Deck (necropotence is bad)
 | The DeckMoxfield Link to the decklist: https://www.moxfield.com/decks/OsszAWZ8aEumTmqFC-kJxQhttps://preview.redd.it/652pxlyais1d1.png?width=1912&format=png&auto=webp&s=44299f4e05f67e18f1bc819b06d8c24c1d557bd6 https://preview.redd.it/o3l9mx83is1d1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd2f538e176117404c679bb3d0730ddae4678ad4 Recently, I went on a 30-4 TEAR with mono-black to mythic. Today I'll be providing a write-up on the deck and my thoughts on it so that other members of the community can have a go at playing it. I personally think that dark ritual and reanimate are two of the best cards in the format, and that black also has the best interaction in the format, so I've spent a lot of time tinkering with Bx or mono-B lists since OTJ dropped. I spent a lot of time trying to make a necropotence build work, until I tried this sheoldred + ring build and saw amazing results. Yes, there's some crazy amount of luck here. An 88% winrate can't last forever. 34 games in an online ladder is almost nothing at the end of the day. But I do want to share the deck, as I'd love to see the community refine and improve this list. Necropotence is worse than The One RingI really do think that this build is superior to Necropotence builds (see my first idea for this deck running necro+some devotion cards https://www.moxfield.com/decks/IEB_vC54_EOgmckgg3vzAQ ). Necropotence is a very punishing card in this format, and I really don't think its as broken as other people think. In Timeless, Necropotence is balanced by its sharp draw-backs and the high power level of the format. I think that The One Ring is a superior source of card advantage because it provides you protection for a turn, it can mitigate its own downside via the legend rule, and it can pair incredibly well with Sheoldred to stabilize and play the long game. Necropotence, on the other hand, does nothing in multiples (besides providing devotion), completely locks you out of the game if your opponent plays a pithing needle, cannot remove itself via the legend rule when you don't need more card advantage, and can't overcome its own life-loss with Sheoldred (you need to play a bad card like March and hemorrhage card advantage to make up for the life loss here).As a quick example, I had a game against a primeval titan player where I wasn't able to sufficiently disrupt them, and they turbo'd out a prime time early. My plan was to turbo a turn 2 Sheoldred, but that's still a losing position by itself against the Primeval Titan nut draw. They had an overwhelming board of zombies that would have killed me on the next attack step, and at any moment they could topdeck Natural Order for hoof. I only had a Sheoldred in play and 4 mana available to me, but I get lucky and top-deck a Ring, buying me a turn and gaining life with Sheoldred. After drawing 3 cards with the ring and drawing for turn, I find another ring, and legend rule it for protection again. I draw more cards, another ring, legend rule it again. Opponent died to my Sheoldred triggers and Deathrite Shaman activations before they could even make another attack. A necropotence deck would not win in this situation without playing a suboptimal storm-based win condition like Beseech the Mirror + Tendrils. Common Turn 1/2 Play-PatternsI'd like to go over every card inclusion in the deck individually, but first I'd like to first highlight some of the most busted play patterns that will win you games for context. I love this deck because I can have a broken turn 1/2, it can interact with your opponent very well, and it can also grind with the ring. I really think you should mulligan once to try and get an opening hand with a Dark Ritual or a Reanimate if you don't see these cards in your opening 7.
Individual CardsLets go over every card and why I believe it belongs in the deck:
TLDRDark Ritual is busted. You should try this deck and win some games with it. If we all work together, I'm pretty sure we can get Dark Ritual and/or Grief restricted by the end of the summer :^) |
2024.05.21 18:27 capresultat I have a surgery date and i’ve told barely anyone bc i dont want to jinx it
What the title says. My surgery date is most likely june 26th and im so incredibly happy, but so scared anything is going to go wrong in the process. I feel like i can’t say it out loud bc i will jinx it lol. I just hope everything goes according to plan, i have wanted this surgery since i was 16 and i’m so lucky to have the opportunity to have it now:)
submitted by capresultat to Reduction [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 18:15 VeryFallible Best level split for an Abjuration Wizard/Spore Druid?
I'm midway through Act 3 (Honour Mode), and unfortunately I have to respec my Minthara out of Paladin because I accidentally broke her oath last night, and I killed the Oathbreaker Knights days ago because he aggro'd to my Astarion when I bit a hireling in my camp to get the lucky buff and I couldn't find a way to leave combat with him. I was playing an unconventional support Paladin build, so losing out on it isn't a terrible loss. I think based on what I need for my team currently, a combined Spore Druid/Abjuration Wizard is a good option for her replacement, Jaheira. I've been using her largely in a tanky support role with healing and buffs; Spore Druid allows me to double down on the tankiness with Arcane Ward and SI temp HP while also accessing all the great buffs from Wizard/Druid AND great summons. The biggest question to me, though, is where to make the level split.
I'm not considering any Druid level below 6 currently, though if I'm missing a combination there feel free to point it out!
submitted by VeryFallible to BG3Builds [link] [comments]
- 1 Wizard/11 Druid gives 6th level Druid spells and spell scribing, which is great. No Wizard subclass, though, which I'd really like, and I am cheesing it a bit with camp casting this run so losing out on Minthara casting Heroes' Feast isn't a huge loss. My main 6th level spell cast will be upcasted Conjure Elemental, which I can get through Wizard spell scribing.
- 2 Wizard/10 Druid seems like the worst possible option. It gives Dilophosaurus Wild Shape, but I'd rather be using Symbiotic Entity as a Spore Druid, and you don't really get a ton of utility our of Arcane Ward maxing at four.
- 3 Wizard/9 Druid gives 6 Arcane Ward and 5th level spell access from Druid, as well as 36 temp HP from Symbiotic Entity. I think 6 Ward is still a bit on the low end, but I could see a rationale for this.
- 4 Wizard/8 Druid gives 8 Arcane Ward and 32 Temp HP, which seems like a nice sweet spot for protecting SI HP. It also gives 3 feats, though I'm not exactly feat starved on this build. Loses out on 5th Level spells.
- 5 Wizard/7 Druid gives 10 Arcane Ward, 28 temp HP. I lose out on 5th level spells and 6th level spells, but this is my scroll/support/summons caster, and most of their higher level spell slots will be used for upcasted summons anyway so I don't think it's the end of the world. The major 5th level druid spell I lose is Conjure Elemental, which I get from scribing anyway. Importantly, this also gives Counterspell - something that my current party only gets from Bard Magical Secrets.
- 6 Wizard/6 Druid gives 12 Arcane Ward, 24 temp HP, as well as both subclass abilities in Fungal Infestation (which all of the above get) and Projected Ward as a means to reduce damage for the rest of my party. Projected Ward does compete with Counterspell for my reaction, though, which is a small non-bo. This loses 4th level spells, and I actually do think losing out on double summons from Conjure Woodland Being is a bit of a loss.
I'm not considering any Druid level below 6 currently, though if I'm missing a combination there feel free to point it out!
2024.05.21 18:14 wainwrik Positive Update
As soon as I write this, I'll probably start to flare, butttttttt I think I have been doing better the past 6-10 months. I thought something positive on here could maybe give some people hope.
I am 8 years post diagnosis. I've had some time to learn how to cope and not overexert myself. The biggest changes in my life that I can attribute it to are less stress, and feeling safe and stable otherwise. No pressure from anyone to work. No distress from people not believing me. No distress from fighting for disability. I have been sleeping a little better (just lucky). And of course there was finding the right combination of antidepressants. My symptoms have lessened in severity by a few points on the scale.
I feel grateful and lucky for now, even though I still suffer. I can remember back to the first few years and those were so much worse.
If this stings because you're in such a bad place, I'm sorry.
submitted by wainwrik to Fibromyalgia [link] [comments]
I am 8 years post diagnosis. I've had some time to learn how to cope and not overexert myself. The biggest changes in my life that I can attribute it to are less stress, and feeling safe and stable otherwise. No pressure from anyone to work. No distress from people not believing me. No distress from fighting for disability. I have been sleeping a little better (just lucky). And of course there was finding the right combination of antidepressants. My symptoms have lessened in severity by a few points on the scale.
I feel grateful and lucky for now, even though I still suffer. I can remember back to the first few years and those were so much worse.
If this stings because you're in such a bad place, I'm sorry.
2024.05.21 18:10 Azakura16 GMAT FE 805
I took my first official GMAT last Wednesday (so no score improvement) and managed to get a perfect score. Also, I've been studying for the GMAT since July of last year, and it's taken up a lot of my free time and energy, which I suddenly have available again, so I might as well lay out my experience in case it's helpful for anyone else.
I pretty exclusively used Target Test Prep, aside from the question review mentioned above. I started mid-July. I didn't really know how long I would need to prepare, as I work a lot and I have limited free time. As any good citizen of the internet does when searching for product reviews, I went to Reddit to find what programs people recommended, and TTP came up a lot. Positive (and less positive) reviews mostly talked about how thorough TTP's program is. I'm anxious and I like to overprepare for things, so that sounded great to me. I had a vague notion of preparing for a couple of months left over from my erstwhile undergrad days. That's clearly not what happened. I ended up spending about 9 months prepping, and I logged about 500 official prep hours.
Here's what I liked about TTP: 1. It is crazy thorough - Every chapter has review tests in three difficulty levels, and many have multiple review tests in each level. 2. Difficulty - There were lots of very challenging questions. I often felt I understood concepts well, but when asked to apply them to harder questions, it was a whole other deal. This was one of the most helpful things for my prep. A lot of the concepts that I was tested over aren't necessarily difficult, but seeing how to get from the question to the answer (in the allotted time) will absolutely make or break the experience. 3. The lesson structure- This turned out to be a much bigger plus than I expected. If I had a minute while waiting at the doctor's office, or in between customers, or before my partner got home, I could tackle a lesson or two. They're broken down, bite-sized concepts, followed by specific questions to apply the concepts. Being able to make a little progress when I had time, instead of having to carve out whole blocks of time every day, fit into the life I live a lot better. 4. I liked their vibe- This will be personal preference to a degree, but I liked the TTP team's overall vibe. They give off the impression that they know what they're doing and they want to be doing it. I just wanted a slightly dry, no nonsense, coven of math wizards to run me back through a review course of most of high school, and these people answered the call. Even when I had questions that weren't about the course exactly (applying for accommodation), it was TTP's Scott (on Reddit) that answered those questions as well. I appreciate dealing with people who are dedicated to their craft. A note on my accommodation, and a quick note about the TTP study plan layout (which I recommend following): TTP recommends not stressing early on about the time that you take to answer questions, but instead focusing on building a strong foundation of the knowledge and knowing that you'll get faster with practice. That was true. At the end of the study plan, they have you take the 6 official GMAT tests that are available to purchase on MBA.com, and I took one per weekend for 6 weeks. TTP's website is nice, well laid out, decent on mobile, overall pretty user friendly. The GMAT Focus is very Windows 95. It's not nearly as user-friendly. It also does this fun thing where, after every question, it pops up a box that makes you confirm that you are ready to submit your answer and move to the next question. The TTP tests aren't clunky in that way, and the first time I took a practice test, it threw me all the way off. I wasn't doing super bad on my time up until that point, but the extra seconds dealing with that popup every time takes, and the way it felt generally disruptive to me added a lot of stress. I ended up applying for an accommodation for time and a half pretty quickly after my first practice test, because it's recommended that you give the GMAC 30ish days to get a decision back to you, and you can't schedule your test until you're approved for the accommodation or it doesn't count. I got my decision back in like 5 days, so I was lucky. I pushed my time and a half to the limit on quant in every. single. practice exam. In the actual exam, I ended up having about 2 minutes left on DI, 5 minutes left on Verbal, and like 15+ minutes left on Quant. My actual test score was higher than any practice test and less stressful than any practice test (even though the kid in the testing cubical next to mine sounded like they were coming down with consumption, and I would recommend earplugs).
TTP does mention to take care of yourself while you're studying, get enough sleep, get enough exercise, anything that makes you feel your best. They especially recommend to take it easy the last week before the test, eat a good breakfast the morning of, get there early. I made myself do 10 minute meditations before bed every night for the last two weeks before my exam, because even though they can be frustrating in the moment, they do force me to calm down. The day of, I woke up 15 minutes earlier than I usually do so I would have time to do a bit of yoga and a quick meditation before I went to the test center, and I do think that helped. Also, some of it was luck, because there were almost zero questions that covered the topics I have the most trouble with, and even with infinity preparation, the topics covered are still incredibly broad and some will be easier for you than others. Good luck!
submitted by Azakura16 to GMAT [link] [comments]
I pretty exclusively used Target Test Prep, aside from the question review mentioned above. I started mid-July. I didn't really know how long I would need to prepare, as I work a lot and I have limited free time. As any good citizen of the internet does when searching for product reviews, I went to Reddit to find what programs people recommended, and TTP came up a lot. Positive (and less positive) reviews mostly talked about how thorough TTP's program is. I'm anxious and I like to overprepare for things, so that sounded great to me. I had a vague notion of preparing for a couple of months left over from my erstwhile undergrad days. That's clearly not what happened. I ended up spending about 9 months prepping, and I logged about 500 official prep hours.
Here's what I liked about TTP: 1. It is crazy thorough - Every chapter has review tests in three difficulty levels, and many have multiple review tests in each level. 2. Difficulty - There were lots of very challenging questions. I often felt I understood concepts well, but when asked to apply them to harder questions, it was a whole other deal. This was one of the most helpful things for my prep. A lot of the concepts that I was tested over aren't necessarily difficult, but seeing how to get from the question to the answer (in the allotted time) will absolutely make or break the experience. 3. The lesson structure- This turned out to be a much bigger plus than I expected. If I had a minute while waiting at the doctor's office, or in between customers, or before my partner got home, I could tackle a lesson or two. They're broken down, bite-sized concepts, followed by specific questions to apply the concepts. Being able to make a little progress when I had time, instead of having to carve out whole blocks of time every day, fit into the life I live a lot better. 4. I liked their vibe- This will be personal preference to a degree, but I liked the TTP team's overall vibe. They give off the impression that they know what they're doing and they want to be doing it. I just wanted a slightly dry, no nonsense, coven of math wizards to run me back through a review course of most of high school, and these people answered the call. Even when I had questions that weren't about the course exactly (applying for accommodation), it was TTP's Scott (on Reddit) that answered those questions as well. I appreciate dealing with people who are dedicated to their craft. A note on my accommodation, and a quick note about the TTP study plan layout (which I recommend following): TTP recommends not stressing early on about the time that you take to answer questions, but instead focusing on building a strong foundation of the knowledge and knowing that you'll get faster with practice. That was true. At the end of the study plan, they have you take the 6 official GMAT tests that are available to purchase on MBA.com, and I took one per weekend for 6 weeks. TTP's website is nice, well laid out, decent on mobile, overall pretty user friendly. The GMAT Focus is very Windows 95. It's not nearly as user-friendly. It also does this fun thing where, after every question, it pops up a box that makes you confirm that you are ready to submit your answer and move to the next question. The TTP tests aren't clunky in that way, and the first time I took a practice test, it threw me all the way off. I wasn't doing super bad on my time up until that point, but the extra seconds dealing with that popup every time takes, and the way it felt generally disruptive to me added a lot of stress. I ended up applying for an accommodation for time and a half pretty quickly after my first practice test, because it's recommended that you give the GMAC 30ish days to get a decision back to you, and you can't schedule your test until you're approved for the accommodation or it doesn't count. I got my decision back in like 5 days, so I was lucky. I pushed my time and a half to the limit on quant in every. single. practice exam. In the actual exam, I ended up having about 2 minutes left on DI, 5 minutes left on Verbal, and like 15+ minutes left on Quant. My actual test score was higher than any practice test and less stressful than any practice test (even though the kid in the testing cubical next to mine sounded like they were coming down with consumption, and I would recommend earplugs).
TTP does mention to take care of yourself while you're studying, get enough sleep, get enough exercise, anything that makes you feel your best. They especially recommend to take it easy the last week before the test, eat a good breakfast the morning of, get there early. I made myself do 10 minute meditations before bed every night for the last two weeks before my exam, because even though they can be frustrating in the moment, they do force me to calm down. The day of, I woke up 15 minutes earlier than I usually do so I would have time to do a bit of yoga and a quick meditation before I went to the test center, and I do think that helped. Also, some of it was luck, because there were almost zero questions that covered the topics I have the most trouble with, and even with infinity preparation, the topics covered are still incredibly broad and some will be easier for you than others. Good luck!
2024.05.21 18:05 Rashanar My ex horribly abused me and turned all my friends against me, and I’ve been mentally spaced out for over a month now
Apologies in advance, I’ve no real people to tell this to, and it’s been weighing on my mind forever.
We met on an online chat room and started dating approximately 5 months ago, and at the very beginning it was fantastic. We were the same age, liked the same things, had the same humour and pursued the same field of academia. We were long distance, both science students, and we had made plans to someday move in with one another. Since she lived in the US and I in the UK, she stringently made it clear she couldn’t come to me, and that was fine. She had to take care of her mother and I offered to help her irregardless of the cost to me. When you’re in love with someone, your own needs pale compared to the other person. Because of how good it was, she would voice how she feared I’d ever leave her and I reassured her countless times that I would never, that I’d always love her. One of her friends, we'll call O, and I spoke and he was worried that because of her relationship, she’d be more preoccupied with me instead of their friendship and I reassured him that it didn’t matter what she did, their friendship was valuable to both of them and I wouldn’t stand in the way of it.
However a month in, and she began to change considerably. She became noticeably different, where we’d call every night, she began calling every 2 nights, or 3, and less frequently too. Her mood around me would change drastically, and she said it was because of a fatigue illness she had. And that was ok, I let it happen. People can be sick, right? That’s fine, as a partner I would be there for her. Some days she found it difficult to communicate the fact she loved me at all, and told me not to say it a lot since she couldn’t feel that way back at the time.
She would drive me to the point of hurting myself, she knew how much the promises of us living together meant to me, so she would sometimes say that she didn’t want that anymore. And all the time I felt dreadful. I blamed myself for it all, was I not doing enough? I had sent her almost £2,000 of my own money since she said she was poor. She knew how to get it out from me too, she would exploit my generous nature by saying she didn’t want it, but when I offered she would brighten up and shower me with the words she previously said she couldn’t. She also, crucially, told me not to say a word about our relationship to any of our immediate friends. She said that she didn’t want our relationship details to split apart a small friend group (that included O, who I'd been sent photos where he derided me and said that it wasn't fair that she talked to me more than him - which I forgave since he might've had the wrong impression or something).
One night, she had an episode and snapped at me, saying that we’d break up because she couldn’t be a partner to me anymore. She said it was unfair how I would move over to her, knowing she couldn’t do the same to me. And I stayed and comforted her, I was determined to salvage it because I genuinely loved her with all my heart. That night, she was rushed to the hospital because of the episode, and I was terrified. I stayed with her all night, didn’t sleep at all because of the difference in time zones, and I sent her money for the cab back. And the next day, she said it was a mistake breaking up with me and that she wanted to stay together because she still loved me. I was overjoyed.
Then, she became even more distant. She would find small things in my mannerisms and call me out on them, such as me making jokes or not understanding certain things about life. One incident got so bad I had to leave the call midway because of how she would rant and curse me out for simply not understanding the subject matter we were discussing. Then, one day, we were in a collective call with the aforementioned friend group, and she barely paid me any notice, mostly interacting with O and ignoring me completely. I sent her a message where all I did was ask about how she was, and she broke it off again, this time for good. During the time we got back together, I had sent her another ~ÂŁ300.
The next few weeks are a blur, since several instances of my personal life started going south. I had finals coming up, a pillar of my community had passed away, my mother had been found to have a tumor in her uterus, my two siblings and my father both got sick - all of this on top of the excruciating pain of a break up.O was messaging me, saying how lucky I was to have had her to begin with and that I somehow met her standards in a way to comfort me. She kept reiterating she wanted us to be friends, and a part of me still loved her. I'm someone who tries to see the good in everyone, so I made up excuses to forgive her. I think she knew about this, because she'd send me memes with captions like "where my hug at" and so on. So I told her about my situation, and she pressed about information about my mother. I told her I mentally wasn't prepared to handle any of these, since I was in a pit of my own sorrow, but she pressed. Once I told her, she alleged I faked the entire thing. She said that when we were dating, she'd noticed "inconsistencies" about my statements (but for some reason never brought them up) then attempted to hammer in the fact I was a liar by stating that the details I had given surrounding diagnostic criteria and the treatment methods were widely different to what she knew - irrespective of the fact that we both lived in different countries.
Once I asked her to bring up the inconsistencies she mentioned, she did, and I debunked them instantly. One such as how whenever she argued back with me I always changed my opinions to match hers, which I said was because I'm genuinely not an argumentative person and would prefer not to argue with someone I cared so much about. She said that the chill attitude I had suddenly changed when it was revealed someone was verbally abusing her - as if it wasn't my responsibility at the time to defend my GF.
I sent her proof of everything, but she ignored. She said that if I couldn't justify why I was so supposedly inconsistent surrounding my own mother's potential cancer, she'd cut me off for good, and she gave me a day. Bearing in mind that I had told her multiple times I wasn't in the best space of mind to talk about any of this, and despite the fact that we lived in different countries. She refused to take any of these explanations.
So, I opened up to a friend about her abusing me, he then told someone (L) he trusted about how she was abusive to me and the response was immediate. L must've shared what I said to her friends, and I was shown L saying that there was no way my ex could ever have done any of these things. Within an instant, O was screaming in my DMs about how horrible of a person I was to even insinuate she had abused me, and he took measures to get me removed from every one of our communities despite him even admitting it was wrong.
To put icing on the shit covered cake this was, immediately after our breakup, everything she said she couldn't do when we were in a relationship, she was doing to O behind my back. She was video calling him on the regular, telling him aspects about our relationship, showing him our private messages behind my back despite her vehemently insisting to me not to do that exact thing.
Nobody came to me for my side of the story, simply because nobody believed she could ever do such a thing, and I was punished for merely speaking out about my abuse to people I believed I could trust.
submitted by Rashanar to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
We met on an online chat room and started dating approximately 5 months ago, and at the very beginning it was fantastic. We were the same age, liked the same things, had the same humour and pursued the same field of academia. We were long distance, both science students, and we had made plans to someday move in with one another. Since she lived in the US and I in the UK, she stringently made it clear she couldn’t come to me, and that was fine. She had to take care of her mother and I offered to help her irregardless of the cost to me. When you’re in love with someone, your own needs pale compared to the other person. Because of how good it was, she would voice how she feared I’d ever leave her and I reassured her countless times that I would never, that I’d always love her. One of her friends, we'll call O, and I spoke and he was worried that because of her relationship, she’d be more preoccupied with me instead of their friendship and I reassured him that it didn’t matter what she did, their friendship was valuable to both of them and I wouldn’t stand in the way of it.
However a month in, and she began to change considerably. She became noticeably different, where we’d call every night, she began calling every 2 nights, or 3, and less frequently too. Her mood around me would change drastically, and she said it was because of a fatigue illness she had. And that was ok, I let it happen. People can be sick, right? That’s fine, as a partner I would be there for her. Some days she found it difficult to communicate the fact she loved me at all, and told me not to say it a lot since she couldn’t feel that way back at the time.
She would drive me to the point of hurting myself, she knew how much the promises of us living together meant to me, so she would sometimes say that she didn’t want that anymore. And all the time I felt dreadful. I blamed myself for it all, was I not doing enough? I had sent her almost £2,000 of my own money since she said she was poor. She knew how to get it out from me too, she would exploit my generous nature by saying she didn’t want it, but when I offered she would brighten up and shower me with the words she previously said she couldn’t. She also, crucially, told me not to say a word about our relationship to any of our immediate friends. She said that she didn’t want our relationship details to split apart a small friend group (that included O, who I'd been sent photos where he derided me and said that it wasn't fair that she talked to me more than him - which I forgave since he might've had the wrong impression or something).
One night, she had an episode and snapped at me, saying that we’d break up because she couldn’t be a partner to me anymore. She said it was unfair how I would move over to her, knowing she couldn’t do the same to me. And I stayed and comforted her, I was determined to salvage it because I genuinely loved her with all my heart. That night, she was rushed to the hospital because of the episode, and I was terrified. I stayed with her all night, didn’t sleep at all because of the difference in time zones, and I sent her money for the cab back. And the next day, she said it was a mistake breaking up with me and that she wanted to stay together because she still loved me. I was overjoyed.
Then, she became even more distant. She would find small things in my mannerisms and call me out on them, such as me making jokes or not understanding certain things about life. One incident got so bad I had to leave the call midway because of how she would rant and curse me out for simply not understanding the subject matter we were discussing. Then, one day, we were in a collective call with the aforementioned friend group, and she barely paid me any notice, mostly interacting with O and ignoring me completely. I sent her a message where all I did was ask about how she was, and she broke it off again, this time for good. During the time we got back together, I had sent her another ~ÂŁ300.
The next few weeks are a blur, since several instances of my personal life started going south. I had finals coming up, a pillar of my community had passed away, my mother had been found to have a tumor in her uterus, my two siblings and my father both got sick - all of this on top of the excruciating pain of a break up.O was messaging me, saying how lucky I was to have had her to begin with and that I somehow met her standards in a way to comfort me. She kept reiterating she wanted us to be friends, and a part of me still loved her. I'm someone who tries to see the good in everyone, so I made up excuses to forgive her. I think she knew about this, because she'd send me memes with captions like "where my hug at" and so on. So I told her about my situation, and she pressed about information about my mother. I told her I mentally wasn't prepared to handle any of these, since I was in a pit of my own sorrow, but she pressed. Once I told her, she alleged I faked the entire thing. She said that when we were dating, she'd noticed "inconsistencies" about my statements (but for some reason never brought them up) then attempted to hammer in the fact I was a liar by stating that the details I had given surrounding diagnostic criteria and the treatment methods were widely different to what she knew - irrespective of the fact that we both lived in different countries.
Once I asked her to bring up the inconsistencies she mentioned, she did, and I debunked them instantly. One such as how whenever she argued back with me I always changed my opinions to match hers, which I said was because I'm genuinely not an argumentative person and would prefer not to argue with someone I cared so much about. She said that the chill attitude I had suddenly changed when it was revealed someone was verbally abusing her - as if it wasn't my responsibility at the time to defend my GF.
I sent her proof of everything, but she ignored. She said that if I couldn't justify why I was so supposedly inconsistent surrounding my own mother's potential cancer, she'd cut me off for good, and she gave me a day. Bearing in mind that I had told her multiple times I wasn't in the best space of mind to talk about any of this, and despite the fact that we lived in different countries. She refused to take any of these explanations.
So, I opened up to a friend about her abusing me, he then told someone (L) he trusted about how she was abusive to me and the response was immediate. L must've shared what I said to her friends, and I was shown L saying that there was no way my ex could ever have done any of these things. Within an instant, O was screaming in my DMs about how horrible of a person I was to even insinuate she had abused me, and he took measures to get me removed from every one of our communities despite him even admitting it was wrong.
To put icing on the shit covered cake this was, immediately after our breakup, everything she said she couldn't do when we were in a relationship, she was doing to O behind my back. She was video calling him on the regular, telling him aspects about our relationship, showing him our private messages behind my back despite her vehemently insisting to me not to do that exact thing.
Nobody came to me for my side of the story, simply because nobody believed she could ever do such a thing, and I was punished for merely speaking out about my abuse to people I believed I could trust.
2024.05.21 18:05 irish_meatball19 I don't want to hear anyone complaining about people "not wanting to work" ever again.
I need to rant/vent, apologies for subjecting any readers to it.
I'm a data analyst with 6+ years experience. Have a background in data science and have worked in several different companies over the last few years via mostly remote contract work. The most recent job was an 18 month contract with a giant tech company everyone has heard of, so I'm thinking it will be a steady paycheck and I'll have plenty of time to prepare for the next bout of job hunting and having this company on my resume will make things easier.
Turns out they terminated my contract more than 5 months early (I live in an at-will state, my contract was written in a way where there is no recourse for me) because upper management decided they wanted to outsource the work to an offshore company rather than pay contractors. They also gave me about a week's notice that this was happening. No such thing as loyalty, I get that but it sucks.
The real problem is that I have been looking for work now for almost 3 months, and haven't had a single interview. I've never seen the job market this slow since I entered this career. Direct applications to companies get crickets, and recruiters are so poorly organized or unresponsive I'm starting to worry about entrusting my information to these people. One recruiter tells me after scheduling an interview the client realized they posted the wrong type of job (after approving the job description). Another says the company was worried about the short tenures I've had with companies, when I have clearly listed that it was contract work. Another says I've been shortlisted for interviews, then radio silence for the last 3 weeks. Another tells me the company declined me because I didn't have experience in two required software packages, even though those are clearly listed on my resume. It's maddening.
I like what I do, and am motivated to work. I have certainly sent out more than 100 applications at this point, maybe closer to 200. I'm reaching out to friends, family, past coworkers, everyone I can think of to find leads on jobs or how I can improve my chances. I'm working 2 side gigs to make ends meet, and I'm lucky to have my wife supporting us with her income, but we all know that single income households don't exist anymore and the constant scramble with no progress is wearing on my mental state.
All this and I still hear people making statements about lazy people relying on unemployment and benefits so good they don't want to go back to work. That jobs are open because people don't want them. How can people seriously think that, when the process of even finding employment is so grueling at this point? If I hear one more person saying this nonsense, I feel like it's going to take everything in my power to not punch them.
submitted by irish_meatball19 to antiwork [link] [comments]
I'm a data analyst with 6+ years experience. Have a background in data science and have worked in several different companies over the last few years via mostly remote contract work. The most recent job was an 18 month contract with a giant tech company everyone has heard of, so I'm thinking it will be a steady paycheck and I'll have plenty of time to prepare for the next bout of job hunting and having this company on my resume will make things easier.
Turns out they terminated my contract more than 5 months early (I live in an at-will state, my contract was written in a way where there is no recourse for me) because upper management decided they wanted to outsource the work to an offshore company rather than pay contractors. They also gave me about a week's notice that this was happening. No such thing as loyalty, I get that but it sucks.
The real problem is that I have been looking for work now for almost 3 months, and haven't had a single interview. I've never seen the job market this slow since I entered this career. Direct applications to companies get crickets, and recruiters are so poorly organized or unresponsive I'm starting to worry about entrusting my information to these people. One recruiter tells me after scheduling an interview the client realized they posted the wrong type of job (after approving the job description). Another says the company was worried about the short tenures I've had with companies, when I have clearly listed that it was contract work. Another says I've been shortlisted for interviews, then radio silence for the last 3 weeks. Another tells me the company declined me because I didn't have experience in two required software packages, even though those are clearly listed on my resume. It's maddening.
I like what I do, and am motivated to work. I have certainly sent out more than 100 applications at this point, maybe closer to 200. I'm reaching out to friends, family, past coworkers, everyone I can think of to find leads on jobs or how I can improve my chances. I'm working 2 side gigs to make ends meet, and I'm lucky to have my wife supporting us with her income, but we all know that single income households don't exist anymore and the constant scramble with no progress is wearing on my mental state.
All this and I still hear people making statements about lazy people relying on unemployment and benefits so good they don't want to go back to work. That jobs are open because people don't want them. How can people seriously think that, when the process of even finding employment is so grueling at this point? If I hear one more person saying this nonsense, I feel like it's going to take everything in my power to not punch them.