Outlook to Azure: Bridging Emails with Databases

Email Integration Techniques with Azure SQL

Setting Up the Email Archive Table in Azure SQL

Inserting an Email Record into Azure SQL Database

Retrieving Emails Related to a Specific Subject

  
Advancing Email Management with Azure SQL
 The journey of integrating Outlook emails into an Azure SQL database marks a pivotal advancement in email management and data analysis. This process involves not just the direct transfer of emails but also their transformation into a structured, queryable format within the database. The significance of this lies in the vast potential for automation, data retention, and compliance with data protection regulations. By automating the extraction of email data, organizations can ensure a consistent and efficient process, free from manual errors and delays. Moreover, this integration facilitates advanced data analysis techniques, allowing businesses to gain insights from their email communications, such as identifying trends, monitoring for compliance, and improving customer engagement strategies.
 Furthermore, the integration of Outlook emails with Azure SQL Database enhances data security and compliance with various regulatory standards. Azure SQL Database provides robust security features, including data encryption, access control, and audit capabilities, ensuring that email data is stored securely and access is strictly controlled. This is particularly important for organizations that handle sensitive information, as it helps them comply with data protection regulations such as GDPR. In addition, the ability to archive emails in a structured database supports long-term data retention policies, enabling organizations to retrieve and analyze historical email data whenever necessary. Overall, integrating Outlook emails into Azure SQL Database offers a comprehensive solution for managing email data more effectively, securely, and in compliance with legal requirements.
 
Email and Database Integration FAQs
 
 
Question: Can any email client be integrated with Azure SQL Database?
 
Answer: While this guide focuses on Outlook, the principles can be applied to other email clients that support API access, with adjustments for specific API capabilities and data structures.
 
Question: Is programming knowledge required for integrating Outlook emails with Azure SQL Database?
 
Answer: Basic programming knowledge, particularly in SQL and potentially a scripting language like Python for API interaction, is beneficial for setting up and customizing the integration process.
 
Question: How secure is the data when transferred from Outlook to Azure SQL Database?
 
Answer: The integration can be highly secure, utilizing Azure's built-in security features such as encryption in transit and at rest, along with secure authentication methods for accessing APIs.
 
Question: Can the integration process handle large volumes of emails?
 
Answer: Yes, Azure SQL Database is scalable to handle large volumes of data, but careful planning and potentially batching of data may be necessary for large-scale email archives.
 
Question: How can I ensure compliance with data protection regulations when integrating emails?
 
Answer: Leveraging Azure SQL's security and compliance features, including data encryption and access controls, and ensuring the process adheres to applicable laws and regulations is crucial.
 
Question: Can I search and query the email data once it's in Azure SQL Database?
 
Answer: Absolutely, that's one of the key benefits. SQL queries can be used to search, filter, and analyze the email data stored in the database.
 
Question: What happens to the attachments in the emails?
 
Answer: Attachments can be stored in Azure Blob Storage, and a reference to them can be kept in the Azure SQL Database for integrated management.
 
Question: Is it possible to automate the integration process?
 
Answer: Yes, automation scripts or Azure functions can be used to regularly fetch, transform, and store email data in Azure SQL Database.
 
Question: How do I handle updates or deletions of emails in Outlook in the Azure SQL Database?
 
Answer: The integration logic can include processes to check for updates or deletions in Outlook and reflect these changes in the database accordingly.
 
 
Empowering Data Management with Email Integration
 The integration of Outlook emails with Azure SQL Database is a significant leap forward in managing and analyzing email data. This synergy between email communications and database technology enables organizations to streamline their operations, enhance decision-making, and maintain high standards of data security and compliance. By converting emails into a structured format within a scalable database, businesses can unlock valuable insights, improve customer engagement, and optimize their workflow processes. Furthermore, the process underscores the importance of leveraging cloud computing and database technologies to address the challenges of modern data management. As we move forward, the ability to seamlessly integrate and analyze email data within Azure SQL Database will become increasingly crucial for organizations seeking to gain a competitive edge and harness the full potential of their data assets.
 https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/outlook/integrating-outlook-emails-into-azure-sql-database 
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2024.05.21 23:49 Similar-Map2910 My(25M) girlfriend(24F) does not stand up for herself or our relationship.
I(25M) have been dating my girlfriend(24F) for about 8 months now. Sailing’s been smooth and quite frankly she’s my dream girly. We have had the usual couple fights and all but nothing that haven’t been sorted. However,My lady is a bit too timid and meek. She has no confidence, and is a textbook people pleaser(her words not mine). Why is this a problem? Well,She is a beautiful,young woman and as such she gets the attention from all kinds of men,Some being the not so nice kind. Now I’ve always advised her that she has to make decisions keeping her own safety in mind first. What I have observed,In general too this goes is that she cannot stand up for herself or us. She lets guys get a little too touchy with her in classes,bars. She doesn’t even mention that she’s taken,She outright exchanges socials and replies briefly when texted by these men before ghosting. I was honestly irked by all of this because as understanding as I tried to be,It felt like my attempts at understanding which were only made so that she has a safe space to grow and learn to stand up for herself were mistaken for something else and now it is getting out of hand. I had sirens ring off recently when she was with her friends at a cafe and I was tasked to pick her up. I am a fairly large man for someone of my ethnicity and this friend of hers(female) saw me for the first time in person. I figured I could use some coffee myself so I parked my car and went into the cafe where my girlfriend and her friend were,They spotted me and came scurrying,And her friend said “Hmm,If it isn’t the brown Bigfoot,You look like a war criminal(face has scars from boxing days),You sure she wants to be with someone like you?”. Yes,Initial shock aside about a stranger’s behaviour ,My girlfriend started laughing with her and didn’t say a word. I brought this up with her on the way back and she said “You know me,I have a tough time firing back”. I am stuck between understanding that some people cannot speak up and that she’s a grown damn woman and she can learn and choose to stand up for herself and our relationship when need be. I am especially concerned by her inability to handle certain high tension situations and doubt I can keep up with this forever. I have certain doubts that she secretly enjoys interest from men as it provides plenty of validation. She suffers from crippling self esteem and confidence issues. Best course of action and any insights are appreciated.
 Tl;Dr: Girlfriend is too soft spoken,shy to stand up for herself or us and it is causing friction
 
   submitted by    Similar-Map2910    to    relationships  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 23:43 Mysterious-Air8843 My girlfriends mom hates me
For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, we never wronged each other aside from petty arguments that were resolved quickly. The only problem that came up is her mother. She is a 5th generation American born “italian”, does not speak the language and has never been to Italy. I myself have been born in a Balkan country and moved to the U.S at the age of 10 and speak my language. This is where the problem starts as she does not accept the fact that I am not italian, for more context on her she is an avid gambler, as well as racist towards non-Italians,narcissistic,manipulative, and puts my girlfriend down at any chance she gets. My girlfriend’s mother always says that my people specifically are controlling and bad people. My girlfriend is the only one to ever defend me because I always hear these conversations from when my girlfriend tells me as the mother is scared of saying this face to face. More problems occur in which she believes in controlling for my girlfriend not wanting to go out clubbing when I have never said anything about it and it’s my girlfriend’s choice. My girlfriend told her that it’s her decision not mine but anytime my girlfriend defends me or herself her mother disregards it. Then as of today my girlfriend tells me that her mom said she wants her to marry an italian guy. This shocked me because my girlfriend was adopted from China into her family now. I fear that in the future of a potential marriage her mother and family will not approve of it. What should I do? Should I just ignore it or say something?
 
   submitted by    Mysterious-Air8843    to    Advice  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 23:43 ThrowRA_SadBoiii I [26M] broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years [24F] right before we were about to close our long distance. I am now feeling terribly conflicted. How do I decide whether I should try to get her back?
Hi Reddit, going through a rough time right now, as you could have guessed. I broke up with my girlfriend of three years yesterday and I'm being torn apart about whether it was the right decision; I'd really appreciate your help and advice. Essay below.
 My girlfriend and I have been (this is still very fresh so I'm probably going to stick to present tense here) dating for just over three years. Throughout almost all of that time we have been long distance as she was pursuing a graduate degree in one city and I had my dream job in another (we started dating after those things were set). We've probably been able to average one week together every two months or one weekend every month and we talked on the phone every day. We were set to close the distance by moving to a new city together (I'm about to start my graduate degree and she's going to start working), but I ended things yesterday.
 I love this girl. She's incredibly loyal, kind, emotionally intelligent, and humble. She makes me a better person, as I sometimes focus too much on the outcome oriented things in life (career, status) and she is more oriented around family and doing things the right way, so we end up balancing each other out nicely. I'm also a bit grumpier and will express my opinions, whereas she is very forgiving and gets anxious about causing any inconvenience to others. We have very aligned values on what's right or wrong and have similar political opinions. However, during our relationship I've often had doubts creep in. She's religious and I'm not, which makes me worry that we will not be able to relate to each other on things down the line. She's a bit of an introvert and gets pretty uncomfortable with people she doesn't know or in groups, which I worry will limit what we will want to do in the future. We don't have too many interests in common either and I worry that we'll get bored togther. Physical touch is very much my love language and she isn't really a cuddler or the type of person to give a surprise hug, which I have struggled with but she has improved on since I mentioned it and I haven't brought it up much since because I felt needy. There are some others but over time these types of things have slowly built up and I've always squared them away by saying to myself that we can work it out (we've already talked and worked a lot of things out about the religious difference, for example how we want to raise our kids and such) or that we'll be able to see if these actually keep being or become issues when we close the distance and live together. But as the date started getting closer I was getting more and more anxious about it not working out. I was afraid to potentially waste more of our time and to be let her move to a new city, where she has no family or connections, for me when I was feeling really unsure about things. I ended up essentially using a relatively minor disagreement we had about housing as an excuse to break up, making it into a whole thing about how this disagreement represented a insurmountable difference in our mindset and life goals. It was complete bullshit and I was being emotionally dishonest, which must have been very confusing and upsetting. I'd been debating breaking up with her for a while, mostly because of all the relatively small things that built up over time, but I'm annoyed that I did it that way.
 No matter what I decide on what to do next, I'm definitely going to reach out to her in the next day or two and let her know how I was really feeling and why I broke things off. She deserves that much. However, I'm really conflicted on whether to end that with telling her that I want to try and work things out, if she's willing to, or to just have that be the full stop. I didn't communicate with her much at all about the doubts I've been having, because I knew it would upsetting and we didn't have that much time together in person. This means we haven't had a true chance to work on them together. I'm thinking that maybe if I get all this off my chest to her and we manage to work it out, things will be great. But I still hate the thought of potentially wasting more of her time, or us working on our relationship and then things still not feeling right.
 A lot of this is just me getting my thoughts and feelings out there, but I'd really appreciate an outside view. Thanks.
 
   submitted by    ThrowRA_SadBoiii    to    relationship_advice  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 23:30 Sufficient_Market226 How to deal when your totally out of patience?
Hi peeps
 (Rant)
 So, summing up, I'm about to start throwing things around (not at anyone or anything in specific)
 I'm tired of just seeing the calendar advance both on work and at school, and it seems like the amount of stuff I have done is still the same
 I'm doing a group assignment that it seems like the closer I get to it's delivery date the less stuff I see working, I'm about to ask my teacher tomorrow to just see if it's possible to just add my colleague to another group so he doesn't get thrown under the bus because of the major screw up I've managed to make of our assignment, so I can just say f*ck it and do this damn subject next year so i can try to keep myself from going mental
 I've made a small analysis of this year so far, and it seems like the only thing I've seen go well is when I went for vacation for a few days with the missus h
 My mom needs to retire medically? Yeah, everyone seems to agree with that except the people that need to make that decision, and of course we had to go around to tons of places and make tons of phonecalls trying to do that
 Need paperwork for school? Sure let's have to ask someone for that every single week and only get it after a few months
 Need some schedules for work so you can do your tasks, sure get them a few months late, and have triple the work because of it
 Need stuff to make the work magazine, yup, get the things at the last minute and it seems like this year it's everyone's last worry so it's gonna end up being the same person having to speed run everything 
 And etc etc
 Man, I just feel like laying down one weekend on Friday evening and just sleep off the entire weekend
 Sorry for the rant, I just needed to vent a little 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
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2024.05.21 23:17 throwaway2dinershame Who can I contact about The Commission department clearly not doing their jobs
I filed for unemployment in June 2023 and just got a reply from the commissions department this month. This process took forever and at every step someone at TWC f’ed something up. I’ll try and make this as short as possible. 
 During the first stage of the unemployment process where someone calls both parties a few times to get info and then makes a decision, my ex-employers (EX for short) claimed I was fired for insubordination and said that I was fired after a heated argument in the office. Besides insubordination, this was not what I was told as the reason for being let go. EX won that portion. I appealed. For the Tribunal I had a witness that was present during said office spat and I sent in (way too much) evidence to back up my claim and any evidence for whatever else I thought they might lie about. I mailed this evidence to EX and the Tribunal via FedEx. I also made sure, several times by several different people in different departments that my evidence would get to the tribunal on time for the hearing. I did send it close to the date but everyone I spoke with said it wouldn’t be an issue. Come the date of the tribunal, I was told no one received my evidence. When I said I had a copy of the dates/times they arrived and who signed for it at both places, I got a reprimand from the hearing officer. My EX did not send in any evidence, had no witnesses, completely changed the reasons for my firing and didn’t even mention the office ordeal once during their turn (they were first), were VERY aggressive towards me calling me names and a lier, and lastly, kept referencing items that were not sent in, like emails, time cards, texts, ect. With no issue. Yet when I tried to do the same the hearing office would stop me and say I wasn’t allowed to reference items not sent in. Guess who won that appeal? I did order a copy of the hearing so I could listen back so I’m not recounting this by memory of the day. I appealed. Then it sat at the commission’s department doing nothing for 9 plus months. The commission’s decided that they agreed with the Tribunal ruling and it stands. 
 There is no possible way they reviewed anything. With my EX changing their reason for firing, never sending in any evidence at any point to prove what they were claiming, no witnesses, nothing. Yet I had a witness and sent in evidence multiple times (depending on whatever they were claiming at that time) that so clearly shows they are lying. How on earth do I keep being denied? And who do I reach out to for help and to get a proper review of my case. This should have been one of their easiest cases that year.
 Side note: I also filed for unpaid wages and that took equally as long and the first girl did all sorts of stuff that didn’t make sense and made it take longer. But the woman who did the hearing after it was appealed… I couldn’t believe how different and how professional this hearing was compared to all my previous with unemployment. Plus she actually knew the case before the phone call started, she let the hearing run past the hour mark because it absolutely needed more time, she listened, asked good questions, and completely saw right through my EX bs and lies. (It’s really not hard to do since you have evidence sitting in front of you) After the hearing was done and we hung up, I cried. I bawled my eyes out from all the stress and because that woman came to work that day and did her job. She just did her job, like she was hired to do and is getting paid for. How f-ing sad is that??
 
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2024.05.21 23:01 mtngoat7 Ok got denied!
I just received my decision letter after an ACE review (post in person C&P) for a migraine claim filed as PACT ACT presumptive which I now realize was wrong…decision pasted below. My migraines started when I was deployed to a TERA and I’m on the burn pit registry but I never was seen for them in service. 
 Since I am already service connected for tinnitus, so wondering if I should refile for migraine as secondary to tinnitus or appeal this one? —————/
 Service connection for migraines.
 To support a claim for service connection on a direct basis, the evidence must show three things.
 First, it must show that you had an injury in military service, or a disease that began in or was made worse during military service, or there was an event in service that caused an injury or disease. Second, it must show that you have a current physical or mental disability, demonstrated by medical evidence. Finally, it must show that there is a relationship between your current disability and an injury, disease or event in military service. Medical records or medical opinions are required to establish this relationship. (38 CFR 3.303, 38 CFR 3.304, 38 CFR 3.400)
 The evidence does not show that your disease developed to a compensable degree within the specified time period after release from service to qualify for the presumption of service connection. (38 CFR 3.307, 38 CFR 3.309)
 The claimed condition is less likely than not (likelihood is less than approximately balanced or
 nearly equal) incurred in or caused by the claimed in-service injury, event, or illness. Rationale is
 reviewing the veteran service records, any additional information provided. The veteran service
 records indicate the veteran was diagnosed with migraine headache conditions around 2004. The
 veteran was discharged from active duty XXXXXX 1993. There has been no chronicity established
 while in service for any headache condition.
 Service connection may be granted for a condition diagnosed after military discharge provided
 evidence establishes that the condition was caused by service. Service connection may be
 granted on this basis for a disability related to toxic exposure risk activity (TERA) during
 military service if evidence demonstrates that the Veteran was actually exposed in service and
 that a disease associated with such exposure resulted. (38 CFR 3.303, 38 CFR 3.304)
 We considered whether your condition resulted from a toxic exposure risk activity (TERA) in
 service. (38 U.S.C. 1168, 38 U.S.C. 1710(e)(4)) The evidence of record shows participation in a
 TERA
 We requested an examination with medical opinion based on toxic exposure risk activity
 (TERA). Your VA examiner notes that medical records from the veteran's primary care notes on
 10/2004 endorse the veteran's diagnosis of migraine headaches. According to Mayo Clinic
 (2023), the exact cause of migraines are unknown and there are a wide variety of contributing
 factors that increase the risk of migraines including various environmental and genetic factors.
 These include inadequate sleep, dietary factors, caffeine, alcohol consumption, changes in
 barometric pressure, hormonal factors, and stress. Medical literature does not support a direct
 causal relationship between migraine headaches and toxic exposure risk activities, including
 exposure to burn pits, airborne hazards, or environmental toxins. Considering the evidence,
 the veteran's diagnosis of migraines is less likely than not caused by indicated toxic exposure risk
 activities in service.
 Although the evidence of record shows participation in a TERA, the medical opinion provided
 by the examiner does not show an association between your claimed disability and in-service
 TERA. (38 U.S.C. 1168, 38 CFR 3.303)
 There is no basis in the available evidence of record to establish service connection for
 migraines. This condition did not happen in military service, nor was it aggravated or caused by
 service. (38 CFR 3.303, 38 CFR 3.304, 38 CFR 3.306)
 Favorable Findings identified in this decision:
 You have been diagnosed with a disability. VA exam dated xx/xx/2024 shows a diagnosis of
 migraine headaches.
 Participation in a toxic exposure risk activity is conceded based completion of VA TERA Memo
 dated 2/29/2024.
 The claimed disability is a chronic disease which may be presumptively linked to your military
 service if manifested to a compensable degree within one year of discharge as listed in 38 CFR
 3.309 (a).
 You have sufficient service to meet the minimum requirements for presumptive service
 connection. Your DD 214 shows military service from xxxxxx to xxxxxx.
 Your claimed issue became manifest to a degree of 10 percent or more following service.
 
   submitted by    mtngoat7    to    VeteransBenefits  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:59 amazingaqua Finally did it
After 3 years, we finally found counsel, did the paperwork, and now we wait 6 months for the official decree. I dreaded paperwork, getting an MSA together, custody, etc. it really wasn’t even bad. Our counsel made it so easy and painless.
 Marriage made me feel trapped. There were great moments but was I ever truly happy, deep in love and fulfilled? No. Even with that, I was still back and forth with proceeding with a divorce. I knew I wanted my independence but kept thinking about our kids (of course) and how it would affect them. I also couldn’t fathom the fact of tearing down our life together that we built for years and all the memories made. So I kept stalling for a year or 2 saying I needed to get on my own two feet and to give me time to be at 100% with the decision. It took a lot of convincing myself. It was hard. I would find myself crying at some points. What finally created action is that we’ve just grown to be so miserable with one another and the people we’ve been dating also weren’t taking us serious. 
 Our divorce is totally amicable. We will still remain best of friends as when we started and be a team for our kids. It’s a bittersweet feeling but I’m glad we finally did it. Will I ever get married again? The answer is no, for now. I’m just excited to begin self-discovery and create a new chapter in my life.
 
   submitted by    amazingaqua    to    Divorce  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:56 Own-Panda2835 I need 100% honesty
Hey everyone, so to basically summarize all of my thoughts & concerns ill try to make it as short as possible. Okay so basically i grew up in a very poor area, this plus other financial problems since a kid led me to alot of dumb decisions when i was a kid. I was in survival mode most of my youth. I sold drugs & eventually was caught. That was when i was 20. I didnt finish highschool. 20 with a felony. Couldnt get any jobs. Later down the line i meet my wife who is a recent college graduate. She has a buisness degree she works remote & shes the biggest blessing ive ever received. She made me realize alot of things about myself i never knew or saw before. She always told me i was smart & she would point out certain things which gave me confidence. Now (26) she told me she would support me if i decided to go back to school so i could get a new opportunity in life. We have 2 kids so i usually take care of them while she works & than i work a night shift. She dosent really care for the money i make since its not much compared to hers. My record will be expunged next year since itll be 7 years since my conviction date. Do you guys think its to late for me to go to college?? My wife wants me to go for a associates than transfer to a bachelors. Or just go for bachelors. i really would like to do it but im wondering if its to late for me. What if i dont get hired because of how i look? (no gang related tattoos) just some tattoos on my neck & arms that i know dont hold up a corporate standard. I would like to work remote also one day doing what she does or similar which is marketing coordinator or project coordinator. Maybe analyst? please be honest
 
   submitted by    Own-Panda2835    to    Advice  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:51 Koala_Guru Why Hank's villain era didn't work, and how it easily could've (Long Essay)
Hopefully this isn’t downvoted instantly, because I know people seem to get strangely very defensive about Beast’s characterization in this run. I think there is a lot of miscommunication whenever a Beast fan complains about how he was depicted here. Often times people will discount those complaints because they think Beast fans just don’t want him to go bad, when that doesn’t really seem to be the whole truth from what I’ve seen. Ultimately, the complaints I raise and I have seen others raise are more about thinking the writing of his spiral in X-Force 2019 was not done well rather than that said spiral shouldn’t have happened at all. With the Krakoa era coming to an end, and “From the Ashes” having the now-rebooted Beast who is pulled all the way from his time on The Defenders, I don’t see any of the flaws here being addressed beyond characters casually referring to how bad he became. So I wanted to take this time in the in-between, where our new Beast is apparently just chilling on Wonder Man’s couch while the rest of the X-Men fight against Orchis and Nimrod, to once and for all lay out the flaws of Beast’s villainous era, and establish not that it shouldn’t have happened, but that it could have been way better.
 Problem 1: A Lack of Pathos:
 Most X-Men fans who have been reading for awhile will agree that it’s honestly surprising more mutants haven’t gone down a dark path. Their history is one of striving for acceptance, putting their lives on the line for people who would rather see them dead, and being rewarded with not one but multiple genocides on their population. Some of the most interesting stories can actually come from a formally “upstanding” mutant finally deciding enough is enough. When Cyclops went down his “villainous” path, it made a lot of sense. We’d seen him becoming more disenfranchised with the dream for years. We’d seen his trust in Xavier erode time and time again, and so when he decided to stop asking for acceptance and start demanding it, it was hard to blame him. Even as we saw most of his friends turn against him, that didn’t stop people from declaring “Cyclops Was Right,” because his perspective could easily be understood, and he did achieve results. More recently in X-Men ‘97, we saw Rogue go down a dark path in the wake of Genosha being wiped out, including Magneto and Gambit. Again, this was understood, and it was an interesting direction for her character.
 This sort of turn would also make a ton of sense for Hank McCoy. Did you know that back towards the start of the original Uncanny X-Men run, Hank was actually the first X-Men we ever saw to leave the team and say that Magneto was right, after he and Bobby were attacked by an angry mob because Hank used his powers to save a young child? Over the years, one of Hank’s most recurring struggles and arcs is self-loathing and eventual acceptance of his condition. Hank has always been at his darkest when he’s trapped in his spiral of self-loathing, but when he comes out the other side, he tends to be one of the most optimistic mutants when it comes to coexistence with humans. He was out making connections and fighting alongside non-mutants before anyone else. Joining the Avengers and Defenders, speaking on behalf of mutant rights before congress, dating human women who were able to accept his appearance, blue fur and all. Until they weren’t… looking at you, Trish Tilby.
 So with all of this in mind, it would honestly be an extremely interesting arc to see Hank, this optimistic mutant who has spent his life building bridges and making connections with humanity, to be slowly beaten down and start to believe peace is not an option. As one of the original X-Men, he has been there through every tragedy that struck the mutant population. And as one of the smartest X-Men, he has usually been at the center of these crises. He has seen advancements in science meant to eradicate the mutants. He has fought against viruses that threaten to drive them extinct. He was there in the wreckage of Genosha. He has seen countless friends killed again and again. He has suffered his own mutation evolving and making him less and less human-looking. He saw the development of a mutant “cure” and was tempted to take it. He has seen it all.
 And so that brings us to Krakoa. This is the moment where the mutants as a whole decided enough was enough. If they could not be accepted by humanity, they would pack up and form their own nation, and they would force humanity to accept that they exist by developing life-saving drugs that other nations would have to rely on. And what is one of the first things that happens after the establishment of Krakoa? Hank witnesses assassins infiltrate the island and assassinate Charles Xavier. This right here is honestly the perfect setup for Hank to go darker than he has before. Even after literally segregating the mutant population from humanity, like humanity seemed to want, they still decided to come and kill the man at the forefront of the movement. And Hank, recently placed in charge of mutant black-ops, would likely see that all options are on the table.
 Unfortunately, Hank’s actual pathos surrounding the decisions he would go on to make is not explored by the book itself. The book has no interest in detailing Hank’s fall from grace as we saw with Cyclops before him. The book just wants us to accept that Hank has already fallen. And in fact, according to the writing, maybe he never had anywhere to fall from. Any time a character in X-Force tries to ask important questions to understand Hank’s thought process, they are cut off. Usually by Wolverine saying “He’s always been like this.” And then on one occasion, when Wolverine asked Hank why he was doing all this dark shit, Hank said, “Didn’t you read the script? I’ve always been like this.” There is no attempt to examine Hank as a character. We don’t need to know why Hank makes the decisions he does, because this book wants Hank to be a black and white villain and so that’s what he will be. Why? Because he’s always been like this.
 Problem 2: Rapid Escalation:
 One of the major defenses people have when it comes to Krakoan Hank is that he has apparently been on the road to his villainous self for over a decade. The X-Force run itself loved to have characters spout a list of Hank’s previous “crimes” without any context involved, as justification for why he was acting the way he did in the current run. The problem is, that context is very important. Because it shows the disparity in the Hank of previous stories who made mistakes with good intentions vs the Hank of X-Force who did heinous shit because he wanted to. This was less a plane making a slow descent and more a plane that was slowly descending, but then its engines shut off and it plummeted into a fiery explosion.
 To make this case, we need to briefly analyze the previous perceived transgressions of Hank McCoy to show what they actually meant for his character and how they differ from the Bond villain X-Force would present us with. Let’s start with Threnody. Somehow, Threnody became a bit of a buzzword for the beginning of the end for Hank. When people talk about the history of Hank and Threnody, they will usually present it as one of Hank’s worst sins, saying something like “Hank callously handed Threnody over to Mr. Sinister so he could experiment on and abuse her!!!” It kind of makes for some whiplash when you actually read the Threnody story people are talking about. Here is a brief rundown of what actually happens:
 Threnody is a young woman who cannot control her powers. It causes her no end of grief, and when we are introduced to her, she is homeless and constantly in danger of hurting herself or others. Beast, Rogue, and Iceman come across Threnody who has been found first by Mr. Sinister. Sinister actually has a vested interest in curing the Legacy Virus, and believes he can help Threnody master her powers, at which point she will prove vital in his efforts to study said Virus. Notably, Threnody wants to go with Sinister here. While Rogue disapproves, Hank does believe that Sinister is actually Threnody’s best option, openly stating Sinister can actually help her gain control and the X-Men cannot, because, as Hank directly says, Sinister is willing to damn parts of his soul in pursuit of scientific enlightenment, and the X-Men are not. A few issues later, when breaking into Sinister’s base, Hank encounters Threnody again. She’s happy. Sinister did indeed help her control her powers, and she has been able to use her abilities to help mutants the world over, while also undermining Sinister’s more evil operations from the inside. Hank expresses relief, saying he was kept up at night by his decision to let her go with Sinister, but Threnody actually thanks him for letting her. And that’s it. That’s Hank’s big “crime” here.
 Hank’s other “sins” are also of varying levels of severity. There’s the time “Hank worked with his evil self to cure the Legacy Virus!” when the actual story in question is Hank asserting that he won’t stoop to the levels of Dark Beast and compromise his values in the name of science. There’s the time “Hank sided with the Inhumans against the X-Men!” when the actual story is Storm sending Hank to Attilan to find a way to end the conflict between mutants and inhumans before war broke out. Hank runs out of time to find a cure for the terrigen mist cloud, suggests mutants get off-world in the meantime rather than go to war with the inhumans, is thrown into a cell by the other X-Men for his “betrayal”, and then freed at the conclusion of the war by a repentant Storm when it comes to light that the whole conflict was manipulated by Emma Frost. There’s the time “Hank risked the timestream by bringing the original X-Men to the present day!” A decision that was made on his perceived deathbed with the hopes of bringing his old friend Cyclops back to his side. Hank wants to take the young mutants back right away, but they refuse. And instead of others enforcing that they need to return, we actually see Kitty Pride decide to lead them in the present in memory of Charles Xavier. Notably, Kitty would be one of the many mutants in future issues who would yell at Hank about this.
 The point of this post isn’t to absolve Hank of all fault. He has made countless mistakes and bad decisions. Regardless of the culpability of others, the pulling of the O5 to the present was his decision. During Secret Empire, Hank would turn a blind eye to Hydra’s activity simply to keep the mutants under his care safe. During all of this, however, Hank’s character was not compromised. He expressed despair and regret over his worse choices, and struggled with thinking he was a good person any longer. Again, going back to his recurring struggle with self-loathing. He had pathos behind his decisions and how they affected him, and would often reunite with Wonder Man as an opportunity to recenter and declare he would “be better tomorrow than he was yesterday.”
 You would think, if the aim of X-Force was to turn Hank into a full-on villain, it would take advantage of the long-form storytelling of comics to chronicle that escalation. Like I said, the assassination of Charles Xavier is a great starting point for Hank to start going darker than he ever has before. The problem is, we don’t get an escalation. Hank starts the run by doing some of the most heinous shit imaginable. Regardless of your thoughts on the severity of Hank’s previous mistakes, none of them compare to his opening volley in this run. Hank uses telefloronics to override and genocide an entire country, leaving various people either completely dead or braindead. We later find out that during this time he also established a space station where he ran unethical experiments on prisoners like Krakoa’s very own Dr. Mengele. He then accuses his old ally Colossus of conspiring with Russia against Krakoa, and calls forth the mutant population to witness as he parades a shamed Colossus through its streets. Then he kills Wolverine and resurrects him as a mindless animal who he uses as an attack dog against his perceived enemies. This isn’t an escalation, this is a different character. And the aforementioned lack of pathos means that we don’t get to see him struggle with these choices. We don’t see his thought process as he becomes darker and darker. Why would we? “He’s always been like this.”
 Problem 3: No Personality:
 One of the most fun aspects of turning a protagonist into an antagonist is seeing how their personality works with a more villainous mindset. When Cyclops became an “antagonist” to the X-Men, he was still Cyclops. He stuck to his convictions, he was a great leader and tactician, and he was able to turn many mutants to his side because of this. We’ve seen an evil Beast before. The creatively-named Dark Beast is from an alternate future where Beast went down a dark path lacking ethics. The fun of this character, besides comparing his ideologies with our Hank McCoy, is seeing how Hank’s penchant for jokes or quotes now become far more sinister and cutting.
 There’s a strange narrative that the jokey Hank is reserved for the Avengers while the Hank with the X-Men is all business and science. This isn’t entirely true. Early on when he was a member of the Defenders, Hank talks about this sort of thing. He essentially says that he wears different hats. While working with the X-Men, he used big words essentially to gain respect from both his teammates and humanity. But with other teams, and in his then-new furry form, he dropped all of that. His speech became more naturalistic and he was much more of a goofball. The thing is, it’s the speech patterns that truly change depending on who Hank is hanging with, not his personality. Hank with the X-Men and Hank with the Avengers are both jovial characters who like to tell jokes and quote philosophy. You can see Hank being a bit of a clown among the X-Men in various runs. So it’s not like it’s a given that Hank is some entirely different dry doctor devoid of any sense of humor when among the X-Men.
 But this is how Hank is portrayed in X-Force. Part of why this version of Hank is so hard to reconcile with the rest of his history for fans of the character is that he just doesn’t act like himself, even when he isn’t actively committing war crimes. In one early issue of the run, we get a glimpse at Beast’s journal where he accounts a meeting he had with Forge. Now, Beast has been known to be a very physical character. He is often known to sweep others into a hug, or even plant a big kiss on their face in the case of characters like Wonder Man or Iceman. Meanwhile this one page where we read his thoughts on Forge is clearly pretending this is not the case:
 
 I paid Forge a visit in the Armory – and I must say that he can be, like Logan, rather impossible. There is a certain locker room bravado about him I find perplexing, like a language I only half understand. For instance, he refused to shake my hand but instead dragged me into what he called a “bro hug.” Then he challenged me to a “feat of strength,” asking if I would test out this sappy “muck bomb” he had developed that – or so I gather – glues one in place. He wondered if a “big boy” like me might be able to thrash free of the binding. I refused him and said I very much would prefer to get down to business. He then referred to me as a “bookish peckerwood @#$%” but did so with a friendly laugh and clapped me on the shoulder hard enough to make me stagger. I’m not sure how to process this, honestly. Is he being friendly or cruel? Is it possible to be both?
 
 Needless to say, this doesn’t read like Beast. It reads like an android that has never before felt human emotion. I remember before reading this I was theorizing that Hank had been switched with Dark Beast once more to explain his sudden escalation, but after this I realized that couldn’t be the case. Because this sounds like neither Beast nor Dark Beast. Dark Beast understood how to properly write Hank as a villain. He doesn’t suddenly become your typical made scientist devoid of emotion, humor, or basic human understanding. He still makes jokes that are now cruel. He still quotes literature in a way that paints him as a god among men. Hank going bad can be a fun read, but this run was not.
 Problem 4: No One Cares:
 Another important angle to consider when writing a story of a good person breaking bad is how it affects those around them. Those who are close friends to the person and find themselves disturbed by their current actions. Again, I return to Cyclops. Regardless of where you stand on if he was right or not, he was very much positioned as an antagonist to the mutants at the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. Yet we see various friends of Cyclops still caring for him and wanting to pull him back from what they perceive as the dark side. Like I previously said, Beast’s whole reason for messing with the timeline was because he felt he was going to die and wanted to try to appeal to his old friend and bring him back around before he passed on. When someone good goes bad, part of the emotional core is seeing former friends try to appeal to their better nature, and even eventually deciding they’ve gone too far to turn back.
 Not so with Hank in X-Force. Like I said, this run posits that this is not any kind of heel turn for Hank. This is how he’s always been. “Hank this isn’t you!” “No, he’s always been like this.” “Hank, turn back before it’s too late!” “Turn back where? He’s always been like this.” None of Hank’s friends give a shit. Hank’s best friend amongst the X-Men is Bobby Drake, Iceman, and we never once see any kind of confrontation there. Cyclops and Angel similarly doesn’t care. Now you could argue this is because X-Force is a secretive organization. Bobby and Scott don’t even know what Hank is doing. There are two issues with this. First, things reach a point where they would know. Hank’s actions become public knowledge, and Wolverine goes off to hunt him down while the rest of the X-Men just kinda look the other way. And second, there is someone with a lot of history with Hank that was a part of X-Force and did see everything that was going on. Jean Grey.
 But we never get to see Jean wonder what’s happened to her close friend. Jean who was always incredibly close to Hank. Jean who, it was confirmed during the All-New X-Men era, had mutual feelings for Hank and might have started dating him had things been different. But no, Jean, like every character in this run, accepts that Hank has always been like this. That’s the answer to everything. So instead of some kind of emotional confrontation where she tries to appeal to his better nature, we instead have Jean yell at Hank, use her powers to throw him against a wall, and quit X-Force. And then most recently, we see her tell Firestar without hesitation to throw Hank under the bus for any heat that comes her way from her undercover mission. Because everyone will believe Hank is responsible for all the bad shit. Who the hell cares about Hank? According to this run, no one.
 Conclusion:
 I hope you can see the larger issue here. When Beast fans complain about his Krakoan era, people assume they just don’t want to see their favorite do bad things. But it’s practically accepted at this point in comics that most heroes will have a villain arc. Hell, Iceman is the only one of the original five X-Men who hasn’t gone down a dark path at this point. The problem is that everything about the writing of Hank during this time was just not done well. There is no exploration of Hank’s descent into villainy, and any questioning down that line is immediately shut down by the assertion that this is just who he’s always been. There isn’t any slow escalation because his first move is genocide. Hank is not even written as himself during this era, but rather as a generic bond villain. And none of Hank’s former close friends even show any emotion about his turn to villainy. An evil Hank story could easily work. We saw it with Dark Beast. A story where the former optimistic member of the X-Men has been beaten down so many times that he takes on a “whatever it takes” mentality could be interesting and emotionally resonant as we both understand what drove him here yet hate the man he’s become. But that isn’t what we got. We got a run that wrote him as a complete stranger and then had all the characters tell the reader that they were wrong for ever thinking he was anyone else.
 
   submitted by    Koala_Guru    to    xmen  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:50 chiksahlube is she fucking serious!
So my fiance and I have been struggling for a while now. Because back in december the house we are renting flooded. The landlord has been a POS and refuses to fix anything.
 Now, we are at the point where WE NEED TO LEAVE. This home is unlivable and the LL is a fucking criminal. So I got a new job. 2hrs away. It pays good, good upward mobility, good lateral mobility, great environment. So we start looking for places closer to it. It's an expensive area but we'll work something out. I give the company my start date of june 3rd (3 weeks+ out at the time.) She says "I wish you would have talked to me about this first." Bearing in mind she's been party to the whole fucking endeavor. The first one to know after me. OH but the real reason is she didn't want to move to that area. She wants to stay here. "I don't think it's a good time to move." were her words. To which I replied "We. dont. have. a. choice." So she changed to "I want to stay in the area." Okay. But we need solutions here. She'd take a full time position at work. We'd find a place nearby. I guess, but we absolutely need a place asap and she needs to take the full time spot asap. Or we are boned. I kept saying how I hated to turn down such a good job...
 Today we got a formal eviction notice from our LL and also our bid on a home was accepted (near our current jobs) and is about to be finalized. So I called the job and told them "Sorry, I can't take the job. My fiance has an opportunity at work and we need to stay here." Not quite honest, but close enough for them to get the picture and realize it's not me just jerking them around. She hears this. Calls me on it saying "No it was YOUR choice not to take the job." Uh... was it!? was it really? With her practically giving me an ultimatum over it? With her insisting we stay here? With her refusal to house shop in that area? Fucking WAS IT!?
 We were getting ice cream and she was trying to make her point when she revealed that despite us agreeing almost 2 weeks ago she hasn't yet talked to anyone at work about going full time... not even a quick text... At which point I started to lose it and said "I'm done talking about this." but she pressed the issue and I had to state it again glaring daggers at her.
 I'm so mad. I went to a separate room and every time I see her she looks like she's crying and just trying to guilt me into feeling bad but I'm so mad IDGAF. She deserves to cry right now. Making me give up an amazing career FOR HER, and then act like it was my decision from the start!?
 Im over her gaslighting me. This isn't the first time she's tried... I'm so... ARGH!
 
   submitted by    chiksahlube    to    Vent  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:48 mintiemochi ADN program decisions
Hi, apologies for the text wall, but I wanted to ask for input on my decisions situation as I’ve been accepted to two ADN programs for Fall 2024 in California and I’ve accepted both schools so far, but I’m contemplating going through with it. Also, if this post includes too much info regarding school info, I understand if it needs to be removed.
 I’m not particularly happy about either program I’ve been accepted to since I’ve seen bad things about one program (less than a 60% retention rate and 80~% NCLEX pass rate on first attempt, probably won’t be attending this school, but I accepted as a failsafe) and have heard mixed reviews on the other (70-80% retention rate, 90%+ NCLEX pass rate on first attempt). I didn’t expect to get into one, let alone two programs, but I got rejected from the top two ADN programs I really wanted to attend, one of which is due to missing a class (high 80’s% retention rate, 90%+ NCLEX first time pass rate) and the other was lottery. 
 I am planning to take that missing class over the summer and to possibly reapply to that school for Spring 2025 because I’m very confident I’d make it into that particular ADN program, if I had not been missing a class then I feel that I definitely would have made it in the first time around. However, the current two ADN programs I’ve been accepted to will also be holding summer classes and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for me to either reapply for Spring 2025 programs or to go through with one of the two ADN programs I’ve already been accepted to. A good program with supportive faculty is extremely important to me; I really like what I have seen and heard of the program that I was missing a class for offers, but multiple people have told me it’s a risky move and a bad idea to wait another semester while I’ve had a few others say it’s okay to wait, including a nursing friend who told me that they wished they had done more research into programs before they went through with their program.
 Personally, I have also been going through a lot lately so I think it’s better for me to take a little longer of a break, as I previously had planned to apply to Fall 2023 programs, but I couldn’t make it to my original TEAS exam date that year and missed multiple application deadlines due to the passing of a family member. Fall 2024 was my first attempt due to this, but I messed up multiple applications for Fall 2024 and I regret not having as many options for programs this time around. Originally I applied to 10+ schools, but wound up only having my application accepted to 5. Spring is also an easier semester to get into from what I have heard and it’ll give me the chance to apply for BSN programs as well. I’m extremely grateful for having the choice of two programs, especially because it’s so hard to get into an ADN program in California, but I still feel indecisive over these decisions I could make and am somewhat okay with waiting another semester. I’m not in a huge rush because I put my applications off once already and I care more about not wanting to regret what program I attend. I would appreciate any input! 
 
   submitted by    mintiemochi    to    StudentNurse  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:47 Euphoric_0515 My (28F) Partner (27M) Won’t Stop Lying to Me and Everything Has Become Too Much
My partner started lying to me from our very first date; lied about what he did for a living. The lies surfaced more when we reached 4 months of dating, and recently at 1 year, they have “all” come out; and he even lied to me just last night about his ability to pay rent.
 We have a lease together that we signed back in March, and he only admitted to all the lies at the beginning of this month. The lies include emotional infidelity, money management, porn viewing (only a big deal because he would brag about how he refused to watch porn but apparently was in fact watching porn), his religion (said he wasn’t religious but he is which is fine but lying isn’t cool), etc. I made the decision to forgive him at that time and continue with the moving process :( and we moved into the apartment only 4 days ago. He cannot afford rent on his own (at all) and frankly neither can I unless I scraped and got another job.
 Last night I told him I just wanted to be roommates after he was unwilling to understand the concept of emotional loyalty to your partner. Another lie he had told was that he didn’t DM a girl I was suspicious about when he had. She had touched him inappropriately at a party and I cut her off for it (he didn’t touch her) after she told me I was insecure for caring that she touched him (she like grazed his arm and was holding his hand, it was weird). But he DMd her saying she did nothing wrong and essentially put our relationship down. And he also hasn’t stopped lying. He said he would have rent on time and he’s already late for our first payment (half of which I have already covered).
 Last night he screamed at me because I asked him to turn the AC off in the living room and just open the windows because he’s not paying for living here yet, and until he is we need to use the utilities minimally because I can’t afford to run the AC all day when the apartment has like 20 windows.
 We both called each other names (which is awful I shouldn’t have done that and I apologized to him at the very end of the night which was 3am for us) but he threatened to hurt himself if I didn’t hug him and I had to physically restrain him from hurting himself. I almost had to call an ambulance because he was threatening to hurt himself but finally said that he wouldn’t once I hugged him. I told him to sleep on the couch but he still insisted on being in the bedroom with me. He pounded on the bedroom door for me to let him in and I finally did, in tears.
 I have kicked him out probably 4-5 times during the length of our relationship when we lived in the apartment that was in my name; either for screaming at me, calling me names, or lying to me. I thought that maybe this time we could make it work. 
 He can’t afford rent on his own. I don’t want this relationship anymore. I don’t know what to do. I want to leave and I might have a friend who is looking for a roommate but I don’t know how to file for domestic violence and I also do care about him and I know he can’t afford the place on his own and he would have to file for bankruptcy or something to get out of the lease. I am a mess.
 TL;DR I am done with the relationship I was in but I don’t know how to leave my partner or how to handle the lease situation where neither of us can afford the rent on our own 
 
   submitted by    Euphoric_0515    to    relationships  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:42 Icy-Carpet-7421 Falling back in love with the mother of my child after being split for 3 years. What do I do?
Falling back in love with the mother of my child. What do I do? 
 So it's a bit of a long story, grab a chair, maybe a snack just relax for a minute & let me tell you. When I was 17 now '23M' I met the most amazing woman, so madly in love with her. then 16 now '22F. Me and her were first loves, we did everything together & had developed a very strong friendship. We were best friends but we dated, It was amazing. All the growing up from 16 & 17 till when we broke up at 19 and 20. 
 We did everything like getting our first place together, our first grownup jobs, our first new cars, at 18 she found out she was pregnant. I was ecstatic I mean besides the weight of being a teen parent & being totally unprepared haha, I mean I loved this person so much she was truly my everything. 
 Fast forward to 2020 our baby boy was born & everything was great, both of us had government jobs new cars, a nice house and we were preparing to buy a house. Now the details on why we split are expansive so I'll just touch on them. She was going through postpartum depression & I knew so I was doing everything I possibly could to relieve her stress and anxiety. Now at the same time I had to handle an alcoholic set of parents, a dying uncle, a couple of friends who had passed. I had a lot going on mentally. Not to mention having memories that had been suppressed from my childhood come back to me. I was f*cked up and so was she. 
 We started fighting a lot & ultimately decided to split up. I moved in with my parents & she did the same with hers. Except her mom lived in Arizona & a majority of her family did as well. Her father was the only person in Kansas City that was family. So she had trouble even having a place to stay. 
 Eventually she had no choice but to go to Arizona for some time to get back on her feet. I said I could keep my son for some time while she took a few months to stabilize. 3 months in she asks if she could come get our son and bring him down for a few months. I couldn't do it, not only was him being in another state a massive risk to my custody but they are also Native American so the second she steps on a reservation I loose all rights. Well that's what I was being told by my parents & grandparents.
 I had no idea what to do do but I ended up not letting her take him. Stupid decision cause I had no reason not to trust her, the only person that's ever cared about me just cause they wanted not because I was family. Our relationship & friendship was solid up until then. It destroyed me & it destroyed her. Fast forward I'm 21 and she's 20, she's back in state and is contributing with our son. She bounced around dating men and living with them, until she eventually met someone and got engaged.
 They were together for a little over a year, well he ended up being physically abusive to her and my son. We are now 23 and 22, there relationship ended 3 months ago. I offered to let her stay with me until she gets back on her feet. 
 Our friendship is just as strong as it was when we were teens. She's since forgiven me for keeping my son from her, l've also realized a lot about myself and what I had going on mentally. I never stopped loving her, she's always been the one for me & I knew that when we split. I needed that time tho, I got to spend 3 years with my father who passed last year. I got him sober & had gained fulfillment in seeing my father how I had never. I do not regret our split, but her being here has brought so much to light. 
 She says she loves me still but isn't attracted to me, reason being how much I had hurt her in the past. I can see it, how she looks at me sometimes. She still loves me, she will make me lunch for work & ask me how l'm feeling when I seem off. She cares for me and we both enjoy each others company, she misses me when I'm at work. Now I'll say this situation is odd cause we both agreed getting back together because of situations might lead to decisions being made that aren't true to our feelings. 
 We do everything that would be done in a romantic relationship, besides intimacy. Now there art times that we get intimate, l'll console her if she's sad.(We sleep in the same bed) cuddling isn't something we do tho. Sometimes we may hold hands while we sleep. Or when we drink we might get a little touchy on each other. But nothing ever happens. 
 I should mention we both are dating, I have gone on a few dates with some woman and same for her with men. We aren't together but we aren't not together. Truly confused & have no idea how to navigate this situation. My gut tells me wait it out and see if anything develops more, but my heart tells me to confess how I feel and what I want. I want her and only her, always have. Can someone help me navigate this with some wise advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
 TL;DR;: I’m falling in love with the mother of my child who I’ve not been with for 3 years, she lives with me now due to circumstance & I have no idea how to handle this. What do I do? 
 
   submitted by    Icy-Carpet-7421    to    relationships  [link]   [comments]


2024.05.21 22:41 Euphoric_0515 I’m (28F) Leaving my Partner (27M) and I Don’t Know What My Next Steps Should Be
My partner started lying to me from our very first date; lied about what he did for a living. The lies surfaced more when we reached 4 months of dating, and recently at 1 year, they have “all” come out; and he even lied to me just last night about his ability to pay rent.
 We have a lease together that we signed back in March, and he only admitted to all the lies at the beginning of this month. The lies include emotional infidelity, money management, porn viewing (only a big deal because he would brag about how he refused to watch porn but apparently was in fact watching porn), his religion (said he wasn’t religious but he is which is fine but lying isn’t cool), etc. I made the decision to forgive him at that time and continue with the moving process :( and we moved into the apartment only 4 days ago. He cannot afford rent on his own (at all) and frankly neither can I unless I scraped and got another job.
 Last night I told him I just wanted to be roommates after he was unwilling to understand the concept of emotional loyalty to your partner; another lie he had told (that he admitted to this month from months ago) was that he didn’t DM a girl I was suspicious about when he had. She had touched him inappropriately at a party and I cut her off for it (he didn’t touch her) after she told me I was insecure for caring that she touched him (she grazed his arm and was holding his hand, it was weird). But he DMd her saying she did nothing wrong and essentially put our relationship down. And he also hasn’t stopped lying. He said he would have rent on time and he’s already late for our first payment (half of which I have already covered).
 Last night he screamed at me because I asked him to turn the AC off in the living room and just open the windows because he’s not paying for living here yet, and until he is we need to use the utilities minimally because I can’t afford to run the AC all day when the apartment has so many windows.
 We both called each other names (which is awful, I shouldn’t have done that and I apologized to him at the very end of the night which was 3am for us). That same night threatened to hurt himself if I didn’t hug him and I had to physically restrain him from hurting himself. I almost had to call an ambulance because he was threatening to hurt himself but finally said that he wouldn’t once I hugged him. I told him to sleep on the couch but he still insisted on being in the bedroom with me. He pounded on the bedroom door for me to let him in and I finally did, in tears.
 I have kicked him out probably 4-5 times during the length of our relationship when we lived in the apartment that was in my name; either for screaming at me, calling me names, or lying to me. I thought that maybe this time we could make it work. 
 He can’t afford rent on his own. I don’t want this relationship anymore. I don’t know what to do. I want to leave and I might have a friend who is looking for a roommate but I don’t know how to file for domestic violence to get out of the lease and I also do care about him and I know he can’t afford the place on his own and he would have to file for bankruptcy or something to get out of the lease. I am a mess.
 TL;DR I am done with the relationship I was in but I don’t know how to leave my partner or how to handle the lease situation where neither of us can afford the rent on our own 
 
   submitted by    Euphoric_0515    to    BreakUps  [link]   [comments]


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