Ayo,
My name is Bread (He/Him) 23 years old. I've been wanting to run Monsterhearts 2 ever since I first learned about it 2 years ago. I attempted to way back when but I was nowhere near experienced enough to run this game how it called for. I needed hard rails or else I was lost. However now after playing and Dming a bunch of different systems and working out how I am as a game master, I think I'm ready to dive in. I will most likely make mistakes and it won't be perfect, however, I feel confident now that I can create a game that I can be proud of.
Some things to keep in mind: (Borrowed from another post I found)
•Keep Your Hearts Safe: Monsterhearts is a system that can deal with heavier topics, such as dysfunctional relationships, teen sexuality, coercive power, trauma, abuse, violence, and queer marginalization. It is a game that encourages us to dive deep into the psychology and mental psyche of the characters. We won't shy away from more difficult subjects and you should be warned of that.
•None May Pierce The Veil: While all I said above is true, we will also have firm red lines that will most likely be established in session 0. This is still a game, primarily intended to be fun. The players and MC will have their chances to express what they are comfortable or not comfortable with. Subjects that fall into the later category will either not be displayed at all in the game or be exclusively fade to black scenes.
Game Synopsis:
You are entering your senior year at River Fork High. Have you been there all 4 years? Are you a new student? Whatever you decide to be one thing is for sure. Your life is messy. Your life is complicated, along with everyone else in this small town we call Sinsdale, Illinois. This town has been around for hundreds of years. A once thriving town centered around the chopping and selling of the finest, and strongest wood in the United States has quickly turned into a shell of its former self. Although you most likely don't care about that. You're just trying to survive high school. The Bullies, the Jocks, the Nerds, the Popular kids. All in their own groups and in their own heads. Where will you find yourselves? Who will you relate to? Who will you try to be?
In any case, how will you fit into not only this school but the entire town? The town that never seemed quite right, that always seemed that no matter how hard or little you looked, it wasn't completely normal. Maybe that is why this particular phrase is used by the oldest or most weary occupants of Sinsdale: Be Back Before Ten.
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While it may seem like I have the entire setting figured out, in reality, all I have figured out is the name of the town and a very brief history that can change. I have the name of the school, and a catchy tagline which depending on what we do in the game can become more real or just stay as it is.
At every step of the way, especially during session 0 I will be asking you questions to fill out the town and the school and overall the world. Im ultimately looking for players who will take risks and initiate drama in the messiest of senses. We will be collaborating in real-time to tell the exaggerated story of these monsters in teen form and if that sounds like a story you are wanting to be a part of, feel free to apply!

• We will be using Discord for voice and cameras are really encouraged but not mandatory. I most likely will be using a webcam. What is important is a quality enough mic.

-We will be using Roll20 to roll.
-This game is 18+ Only
-I am leaning towards not allowing custom skins but am still mulling it over.
If all that sounds good to you. Please fill out the form here and I will get back to you when I can to talk over voice! https://forms.gle/Zc2tGsqYUPvd9c4d7

This is my first reddit post and honestly it's a lot so please bear with me. I'm still trying to figure out how to process everything and make sense of it all. I guess we will start at the very beginning. My boyfriend,( we will call him michael) and I just passed 6 months together. Honestly, hes been great. We clicked pretty fast and have a great bond. I feel safe and comfortable around him and can communicate in a way ive never been able to before. It just kinda works. I definitely fell hard and fast for him and from what I could gather, the feeling was mutual. We had met on tinder in early October and went on our first date in November. We made it official shortly after our first date.
After we started dating, he had briefly mentioned that he had a friend who had a bit of a crush on him. I told him I didn't mind and I trusted him. As long as he kept things respectful to me, it didn't matter. He then explained that her crush was a bit obsessive and he actually wanted to push her out of his life and needed advice. Apparently, this friend, (we will call her beth) was pregnant and wanted Michael to be her baby's God Father. He said that she would follow him and got jealous when he was with other girls. I found this kind of odd but he swore they were just friends, so I told him the best way to let her down gently and let him do his thing. About two weeks later, he told me she was out of the picture. I didn't really care either way but the communication was cool.
Anyways, I pretty quickly forgot about all of that because it was irrelevant and I wanted to focus on our relationship. One night when we were hanging out, he got a snapchat notification. He turned away from me to respond to it but I didn't think much of it, just asked who that was. He said it was just a friend (we will call this one Jen) and they were catching up. I had never heard of her before but I didn't care, I just said cool and dropped it. Just like before, I quickly forgot about that conversation because again,it was irrelevant and I had better things to think about. I trusted him so why should I care who he talks to? He is his own person after all and I understand the importance of friendships.
Fast forward about another two weeks later, him and I had our first argument. I dont remember what it was about. Most likely something small and pointless because I had a stressful day at work but nothing too serious. We did not talk much that day. Later that night, I apologized and we talked it over. Everything was fine. He then told me that earlier in the day, an old friend that he had removed off social media readded him and messaged him. We will call her Molly. Apparently she had just noticed she was removed and was upset and wanted to know why. He told me that he sent her a message explaining that he didn't see her in his life long term and doesn't feel the need to keep someone around who won't be around forever so he didn't want to be friends anymore. He then removed her again. At this point I thought the way he acted was odd. I had never heard of molly before, he waited until he had already removed her before telling me about the conversation, she only came into the picture when we had our first argument and it got me thinking about the other girls who were just friends. I definitely started to over think a bit and was more than curious about who these people were and what their relationship to him was. But he swore they were all just friends. So I continued to believe him.
We went a long period of time without anything coming up so once again I forgot about it and moved on with my life. Him and I were doing great. We were young dumb and in love. I felt truly happy, something I hadn't experienced in a long time. I felt like I genuinely found someone who was right for me and I didn't need to second guess whether or not he was gonna cheat on me. He occasionally would ask to see my phone but I didn't have anything to hide so I allowed him. I had set a boundary with him that if he ever felt concerned or needed reassurance, he needed to bring it up to me first. After we talked it over then he could see my phone, but we would always go through it together. This seemed fair to me. My phone was never off limits, there just needed to be open communication. Anyways, he would always offer for me to see his phone in return but I would decline. I didn't feel the need to and I had learned from past experiences that if you go digging, you will most likely see something you can't unsee.
Then one day he needed to have his wisdom teeth removed. I dropped him off in the morning for his surgery and I was told I needed to hold on to his personal belongings and wait until the operation was over. No big deal. I know this is wrong and I shouldn't have but finally curiosity got the best of me and I looked on his phone. At first it wasn't malicious. I genuinely was just curious. But of course, I saw things I wish I could unsee. It started off on tiktok. In one of his conversations with a friend, he poured his heart out, explaining how he was still so in love with his ex and missed her like crazy. Of course it stung a little to see the things he said but I knew there was someone before me so it wasn't that surprising. That was until I saw those messages had been sent in mid October. So of course i was like huh.we started talking early October and dating early November. So clearly he wasn't over his ex when he met me. But I was willing to forgive it. It wasn't a deal breaker. But Instead of putting the phone down to protect my peace and his privacy, I kept looking. And boy did I find a lot. I found lots of old text messages from contacts that were not saved. Most of then were hard-core sexting and flirting. This dude literally acted like a dog.And yeah it was again hard to see but it was before me and he wasn't like that anymore. With me, he was gentle and respectful and never treated me like an object. Some people just go through a phase and that's okay. Again, it wasn't a deal breaker. But finally i found some very passionate, lovey, intimate messages with an unsaved contact. I was immediately drawn in by the kind words and heartwarming love messages. Whoever this was, they cared for eachother very strongly. I almost immediately felt heartbroken. Not because she was a past love interest, but because he had never spoken to me the way he spoke to her. I read all the way from the top of the conversation. Months worth of love confessions, paragraphs of strong feelings, longing to be with one another, etc. But finally halfway through in one of the paragraphs I see a name. Molly I was shattered. Molly was the girl who supposedly was removed months before him and I even met. The one that was "just a friend" who messaged him and he removed her because he didn't want to be friends anymore. Yeah clearly they were more than just friends. I was livid and felt crushed. Why did he feel the need to lie about something so unnecessary? I wouldn't have been mad if he had told the truth about who she was. But then it got me thinking. Was Beth truly just a friend? Was Jen truly just a friend? What was the actual relationship? I gathered up as much as I could but then the nurse came to the lobby to tell me he was awake and ready to go home. I kind of panicked and in my hurry, I forgot to delete the screenshots out of his phone.
We get in the car and I give him his phone, he's still pretty loopy. Obviously I had a million questions to ask him but I knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to have that conversation so I put my feelings aside and decided it could wait. Well he wanted to take pictures of his bloody swollen face and send it to his uncle. In the process, he sees the screenshots i had forgotten to delete off his phone and immediately screams what the f*** is this? I tried to talk calmly and explain that now wasn't a good time to talk about it and it could wait. He kept pressing "what the f*** did you do? Who the hell is this?" In my mind I thought "uh dude, you tell me." But didn't want to escalate it while he was drugged up. I decided the best option was to simply say that I wasn't mad , I stilled planned on taking care of him while he recovered and that we would need to have a conversation when he was in a better state of mind. He just started sobbing. Oh boy. I kind of ignored it as much as I could. I drove us to the store to get ice cream and other soft foods he could eat before taking us back to my apartment. I helped get him set up in my bedroom and he still was crying. So much so he started coughing out blood. It smelled awful and got everywhere. He was a wreck. I felt bad for everything. I felt guilty for going on his phone behind his back, for leaving the screeshots on his phone and for him crying. It took several hours but eventually I got him to calm down. I kept my word and continued to take care of him until he was recovered.
Finally when enough time had passed I decided it was time to sit down and talk about it. I explained that obviously I had found messages and i wanted an explanation. He told me molly was just a friend, and very clearly it was more than that. I also explained that I had a suspicion that he was not fully honest about his relationship with Jen and Beth either. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he had no idea what I was talking about and they were just friends. I remained calm and explained that I won't be mad at him or leave him. I told him I didn't want to fight. I just felt as though I deserved to know the truth if I was going to continue to be with him, especially since he was still in contact with Beth and Jen while we were dating. We continue to go back and forward for several hours with no progress. I decided then if he didn't feel I deserved the truth, I would find out for myself. I took the screenshots I had found and reached out to the contacts one by one.
Let's start with Beth. She was the quickest to respond. I briefly explained who I was and that I was hoping to ask some questions about my partner because I felt like i was being lied to and was hoping she could fill in some of the gaps. She texted back and simply asked "do you work at blank" I responded that yes, I did. She then asked if I lived at a specific apartment complex. I said yes and was creeped out. She knew where I worked and lived. She then asked if she could call me. I agreed. For some context, he told me that she was a friend he had met in school. He explained that she had gotten out of a rough relationship and he wanted to make sure she was okay when it happened. That's how they became close. He explained that they would hang out all the time and eventually she became obsessed with him. Well during my phone call with her, I heard a very different story. Yes, they met in school and initially started off as friends. But, slowly with time as they started to spend more and more time together, they started to catch feelings. He said I love you first. And she proved this with screenshots. She also sent me pictures of them holding hands and kissing. She explained that they never officially started dating but they definitely were more than just friends. Their relationship was much more physical and romantic than platonic. She also told me that they had hooked up about 3 times. She explained that they had eachothers location and pretty frequently they would make plans then he would last minute cancel. So she would see what he was doing and would see him at two very specific addresses. Visiting my work or my apartment. She eventually asked him where he was and he told her that I was his cousin and was trying to get out of a rough relationship so he was helping me. I felt sick. No wonder why she was "obsessed" he was borderline dating her, telling her he loved her, and then started to ditch her when he made things official with me. Then it killed me to realize that even though they never had an official title, he was dating the two of us at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I ended up apologizing to her for everything he did and told her I never would have agreed to be his if I knew he was entertaining someone else. Michael overheard this phone call between us and looked like he had seen a ghost after. All he did was started crying, said she was lying, and that she was only a friend. I asked "so....these screenshots and pictures are all made up?" No response. He knew he was busted.
I decided I needed to take some time to process that information and I didn't want to say something I would regret. I let him stay at my place because he had nowhere else to go and I went to stay with a friend. He kept calling and texting but I couldn't deal with it. I cried all night. I was a mess. I should have just accepted that I was cheated on and lied to but I couldn't leave. I needed to know the truth. So I kept reaching out. Next up was Jen. I never was able to reach her, but I found out through Michael and Beth that Jen was Beth's best friend. But even more than that, I found out the three of them had a threesome together. He had told me previously that he had never been interested in a threesome and would never want to have one. Then I found out not only did he have one and lied about it, but it was with two girls he told me were just friends.
I went back to my apartment the next day and tried to talk stuff out. He just continued to say they were just friends. I finally snapped. I screamed and cried and told him that I just wanted to know the truth. That I deserved the truth. He looked me in the eyes, pinky promised me no more lies. We talked for a while and basically he explained that he never had an official title with Beth. They were very close but he basically just used her to pass time because he had nothing better to do. He said he loved her because that's what she wanted to hear and he treated her like a partner without ever having any real feelings for her. He knew as soon as he met me that he wanted me but didn't want to hurt her so he just kind of pushed her to the side but kept her in the picture. I felt so sad for her. He used her. He led her on. He treated her like an object and then threw her to the side when he met me.I asked why he lied about having a threesome. He said he felt ashamed Apparently they started to do it and then he chickened out so he didn't really count it. That made sense to me. I was pissed that he lied but at least it made sense. Next I asked why he told me Beth and Jen were just friends instead of being honest about the relationship. He said he never had feelings for either and they never had the official title so he didn't think it was important and he did not want to scare me off. I explained to him that although I understand why he lied to me, I didn't forgive him. I warned him that I would not tolerate anymore lies and obviously for the time being I did not trust him. I told him I wouldn't break up with him but if I found out he lied again, he would lose me. I also told him I considered what he did as cheating since he was seeing us at the same time after him and I became mutually exclusive. After we concluded our conversation about Beth and Jen, I started thinking about molly and the messages I had seen. I asked him what their relationship was, he said just friends. I freaked and told him to give me his phone. I found their old messages and told him to read them. "Hey goofball, you awake? Well if you're not I have something impossible to say to you. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. I love you lots and want you to know that no matter what happens I will always care about you. To me you are perfect. Amazing. And attractive asf. You are also very sweet and caring and adorable. Don't think about the negative things about yourself that will drag you down. You are way more than that. This is an official goodnight and I love you goofball." This is just one of the MANY messages sent back and forward. He reads the conversation and just goes oh. He then says he didn't remember any of that happening. We began to argue and the story he tried to spin was that his life must have been so traumatic that his brain literally deleted his past memories and replaced them with false memories where he didn't do these things that he is ashamed of. He got caught in lies and after so long was just like...whoa I did that? I had no idea I didn't remember. Technically I didn't lie because I told what I thought the truth was the way I remembered it. I told him I wanted to break up and he cried and begged me to forgive him and stay. I listened.i tried to move on and make things normal again but I couldn't stop thinking about all the lies and what else he might have been lying about. Then randomly one day, Molly added me back on social media. She was the last and took over 1.5 months so honestly I figured I'd never get ahold of her. I was genuinely surprised to see her show up on my friend list and reached out. Once again back story, he told me that she lived in Wisconin and they had never met. He said he was also using her for nudes and to pass time, same way he used Beth. He had told me that he removed her off social media months before him and I even met and aside from that one night she reached out, he hadn't heard from her in forever. I found out from her that she did not live in Wisconsin, she lived in the same state as us That to her, they were definitely dating and in love. I also saw a messaged saved on snapchat where he had been texting her in October (after we met) and even sent her the same pickup lines he had sent me. he had cheated with not just one, but two (at least that I know of) other girls.
At this point I had been broken so bad I didn't even feel the pain anymore. I just went numb. I had no more tears left to cry and couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I stopped eating and taking care of myself. I just went to work, came home, slept and repeated. I had watched the man that I loved and adored, one that made me feel so safe and happy turn into a monster right in front of me. He wasn't him anymore. I finally could see him for who he was. But I still didn't leave. He told me that he had only ever slept with three girls. I later found out it was actually six. He told me he had never been in love before. I later found out he tells basically every girl he's ever talked to that he loves them AND genuinely was in love with his ex before me. He told me after his ex and him broke up, he had a rebound but he only hooked up with her once before ghosting her. I found out they actually dated for several weeks, hooked up several times, and she had taken cute couple pictures with him and posted them on social media. He said that he never wanted to take those pictures, she made him put his Hands on her and pose and if he didn't cooperate, she would throw a tantrum like a child. One last thing I think that is important to mention,when we went on our first date, I told him I don't do hookups. We stayed out late and hit it off really well so I offered for him to stay the night at my place. I said I was okay with cuddling and whatever but I did not want to have sex. He seemed okay with it. I went to bed and then when I woke up, my pants were off and he was inside me. He claimed he didn't know I was asleep and thought I wanted it because apparently my butt kept rubbing against him while we were spooning.
It's been about a month since all that and I'm still just meh. I haven't exactly forgiven him but I also don't hate him. Things are normal. I act normal we still do couple things. But I can't help but wonder if he is just using me the same way he used them. I mean after all, he lives in my apartment rent free and asked me to buy him a truck for his birthday. He says I should forgive him because he genuinely doesn't remember doing these things and he didn't mean to lie to me. He said he's so ashamed of who he was but isn't like that anymore. He doesn't associate with who he was and wants to be given a chance to show that he is different. But can I ever forgive him? Should I? Where do I go from here? I feel so lost and confused. I dont think I'll ever be able to trust his word again. I dont feel secure. He broke me so bad I can't even feel anymore. Am I crazy and somehow making this a bigger deal than it is? Can I ever have the man I fell in love with back? I'm sorry if this was confusing. I'm typing this all out in one sitting. Please help me because I genuinely am so lost and I don't want to tell any friends because I don't want them to hate him.
TLDR: My boyfriend cheated on me with at least two other girls that I know of at the moment and has lied to me about too many things to count. His argument is that It doesn't actually count as cheating because he technically didn't date these people and he didn't remember doing it.

First of all, I'm so grateful for each person here who has shared about their experience with Ballet 5:8. I found ex58 after a random TikTok search one night last November, on the off chance anyone on TikTok had a negative experience there like I did. I found a series of videos from one ex-dancer at 5:8 who shared her experiences and mentioned this subreddit, and I debated about making a post for a while. Part of me was terrified that J would see it and figure out who I am and hate me even more for it (which is definitely my people-pleaser tendencies + trauma coming through), but I really don't care anymore. Hi J, if you're there. 👋
I was a staff member at Ballet 5:8 for four-ish months, which is a minuscule amount of time compared to many of you. It's heartbreaking to hear what you endured. I guess my four months there demonstrate how quickly J and the culture she's created can completely shatter a person's self-worth, faith, and beyond.
I was fresh out of college and desperately looking for a job. "Desperately" because I was in the midst of a season of rough mental health and family dynamics, and I needed something to keep me occupied. Up to this point, I had done PMarketing/Advertising for a few agencies as internships and part time, but nothing full time. I stumbled across a LinkedIn job post for an open staff position at Ballet 5:8 that seemed to align with my skills perfectly. It seemed to be some sort of match made in heaven that Ballet 5:8 was also a Christian organization and I was a Christian who had danced for 10+ years. All I needed to do was move across the country to Chicago. What could possibly go wrong?
The First Red Flags

• Turnover Rate - While I was interviewing, my soon-to-be-boss (not J) mentioned that 5:8 had been looking for someone to fill this role for at least a year, but the past few people they had chosen to fill the role either left or moved on to other opportunities. Huh. Despite multiple people filling the role, there seems to be a common denominator...wonder who...
• Salary & "Benefits" - My high-school-age brother, who worked as a cashier at Panera at the time, made slightly more than what I made as a salaried employee at Ballet 5:8. Oh, and health insurance? Definitely not. It's laughable. I know you're a non-profit organization, but if you're going to try to hire someone to promote your entire brand, you might want to consider paying them more than Panera.
• Love Bombing - During my second round of interviews and as they were preparing to tell me I got the job, I remember Julianna saying something similar to, "We've been searching and praying for this role to be filled for years and we've finally found you. You're the person we've been waiting and praying for." Yeah, yeah. It was music to my people-pleaser ears at the time, but deep down I knew it was a load of crap to get me to sign on and drink the B58 kool-aid.
• Job Description - They made it sound like I'd be managing and directing a team, which is something with which I did have prior experience. However, they failed to mention that the rest of the "team" was currently a product of their imagination and they were planning to one day hire more people to support my role. This part alone led to a vast amount of stress on my part and infinite expectations on J's, because at least they had one person now, rather than none. Maybe I'll tell some of those stories here someday, which make up the bulk of the horrors. They had absolutely no idea what they needed, but they had a precise vision for the miraculous outcome that would follow each project and task I was assigned. A massive TikTok following overnight! A whole perfect Wikipedia page! Becoming bigger and "more obnoxious marketing-wise" than Shen Yun! Yes, those were a few of the goals.

I know those red flags should've been more than enough to make me run for the hills rather than accept the job. Hindsight truly is 20/20. Without my already terrible mental health clouding my judgement, or the love bombing mixed with my people-pleasing tendencies, there is no way in hell I would've ever agreed to work there.

1. BTN > College Graduation? Beyond the Nutcracker is ridiculous in my opinion, but unfortunately that's not what this is about. This is about the fact that Julianna & my (other) managedirect boss (who has since left 5:8) wouldn't let me go to my own college graduation ceremony because Ballet 5:8 was *far more important,* despite me requesting to attend my graduation 4+ months in advance and already making arrangements for a hotel, flights, and my grandparents to come. For context, I took summer classes and graduated during the summer term, so my university's next commencement was in December. Why did Julianna need me at 5:8 so desperately at that time? None other than to have me help operate the damn BTN ticket booth. I wish I could say I quit then and there when they told me I couldn't attend my graduation, but I stayed. My last day with Ballet 5:8 was working that Beyond the Nutcracker show, which otherwise would've been my graduation day.
   
2. Merry Christmas By late Novembeearly December, I was completely broken. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't focus, I couldn't even cry anymore. I could, however, feel the most overwhelming sense of anxiety at the thought of giving my two-weeks notice. I will never forget the night I pressed the send button on that email, going directly to J and my boss. If I thought J's intimidation tactics during the previous 3.5 months had been hell, I hadn't seen anything yet. Unfortunately, the morning after I submitted my two-weeks notice was a work day, so I went in early and tried to prepare myself for J's rage. It came, but through snarky comments under her breath, rushing past me on her way into her office, the silent treatment, and multiple vague and dramatic messages in the all-staff Slack. "Nothing like a good punch to the gut right before Christmas!" Oh please. You've managed to control and/or traumatize an entire organization for years. Don't let me, a barely 20-year-old at the time, intimidate you. There's a grinch or scrooge joke in here somewhere. In brief, she didn't speak a word to me for the last two weeks of my time there.
   
3. Chicago (Again) It's been a few years since Ballet 5:8. I moved back home. I'm married now. And I'm moving back to Chicago now. My husband's job is requiring us to move there for at least the next four years, and while I'm excited at the chance to redo my time in Chicago, I'm also terrified that the bad memories will be too much and I'll be living in fear the entire time. That being said, what were/are some of the things you've enjoyed in Chicago? I'm open to any recommendations. 😅
   

If you managed to make it this far, thanks for reading. I've found so much comfort by reading all of your stories and I'm grateful to have the space to share parts of mine.

I saw someone else did something like this recently and thought that I might have something to add to the discussion to help people figure out whether they think this program is right for them, or for people currently in the program to help them plan out classes.
My background is very heavy in statistics and finance (I'm an actuary), so my grounding in calculus, statistics, linear algebra, and business topics was considerably better than most of the other people I interacted with in this program. Conversely, I'm sure my programming skills were probably about average or maybe a little bit below compared to someone with a more targeted background towards those skills.
I started in Fall of 2020 and just finished up this month, Spring 2024. I started out just taking one class a semester and never changed up that plan, would highly recommend doing the same if you're working full time alongside; there's no reason to rush this program. I got a 4.0 GPA overall, although I never really stressed that much about it and definitely did not shy away from "harder" classes in order to bolster GPA. I did this to learn, not to get good grades. The classes I took, in order (my memory of some of the earlier ones might be a bit jumbled as so much time has passed):

1. CSE 6040 - I mentioned how my programming background was weaker relative to my mathematical background. However, reflecting on my experience in this class, it was probably still pretty strong. This class is focused on generalized programming skills, you don't really get into the analytics and modeling that much; it's more of a primer on things like functions, recursion, computer memory management, etc. It's been a few years, but I don't remember struggling with this class at all, and most of the concepts covered (object oriented programming, things like byte encoding, hexadecimal forms, recursion, etc.) were things I was already familiar with in another programming language (this class was in Python) or was relatively easy to pick up. From what I remember, the assignments were auto-graded and you had unlimited attempts, not to mention the fact that most of the prompts were to produce some predetermined result... and, as long as you were able to verify that your code produced that result, you got full points. I didn't miss a single point in this entire class. I believe there were "final exams" which were really just timed window coding assignments much like the homework, and you could do the assignments at any point during a 4-day window or something like that.
2. ISYE 6501 - This class was R-based and focused on basic analytics models. The material was much more applied than 6040. Similarly, the material was not difficult, and I was familiar with a lot of the basic models already (such as GLMs) from having worked with them in my job. The grading was done on a peer-grading framework; based on who anonymously is assigned your homework to grade, you can get someone who's a stickler for every point on the guide, or people who are a bit more lenient. I never really worried much about how things were graded in this class; yeah, I did miss some points arbitrarily, but nothing that made that much of a difference. If you generally put in the work and understand the material, your peers will recognize that. I found this a bit more interesting than 6040 because, rather than a deterministic "right answer", there was some more creativity implied here to solve each problem. There was a final project for this class where you walked through a hypothetical analytics problem and explained how you would go about solving it. I found this an interesting thought exercise and enjoyed this class. The pacing felt a little fast, as you basically had an assignment due each week, but the assignments were small. Like 6040 I found this class to be quite easy but I didn't 100% it due to the peer grading thing.
3. MGT 8803 - I almost applied to be exempt from this class, as my background intersects a lot with the material. The accounting and finance modules for this class literally did not teach me anything new. Supply chain was new for me and I found it interesting. I'm trying to remember what the other module was. I think it was marketing? I didn't like it. Overall I found this class quite easy for the aforementioned reasons, however I've heard from a lot of the other folks without business backgrounds that this class was pretty tough so take my opinions with a grain of salt. Taking this in the summer cut out one of the modules, normally there are 5 but in Summer there are 4. I figured this made sense to take during the truncated semester because I was unlikely to cover that much new material, and it turns out I was right about that. Each module lasted 2 weeks (I think in a normal semester it lasts 3) and has a timed multiple-choice test at the end. A lot of people didn't like this format compared to ISYE 6501 and CSE 6040; I'm not really sure how else this material could've been covered. This class was OK, the material is not really that deep but it's a pretty good primer on a large number of business topics.
4. ISYE 6740 - The first class I took that was actually pretty challenging, which makes sense considering the first 3 courses were just the basic core. This is pretty much an intro to machine learning as a discipline, and the first time I remember digging into academic papers that discuss some machine learning topic and attempting to recreate the results (this is something we did a lot in the more advanced classes going forward and incidentally now that I have graduated is probably one of the best ways to go about learning a new topic). I remember this class as having a format similar to ISYE 6501/CSE6040 in that you had large programming assignments to do, as well as open-book "exams" which were really just timed programming assignments. Assignments are not auto-graded; TA's review each one and thus the assignments have much more of a focus on explaining your findings than producing the exact expected output (unlike 6040). Some of the theory questions have you applying complicated matrix algebra rules that I'm not surprised a lot of people struggled with. The TA responsiveness in this class was pretty good from what I remember, but your mileage may vary. I remember getting 3 weeks to do each assignment but I also remember not thinking that was a lot of time, these assignments are very extensive, have many parts, and take a long time to get through. Like with 6040 I ended up not missing a single point in this class but I did find it difficult and spent significantly more time working on it than in prior classes, probably 10-15 hrs a week, give or take.
5. ISYE 6644 - I was familiar with maybe 50% of the material we covered due to my extensive statistics background, however I was not aware of the exact mechanics of random number generation or the concept of a batched mean, for example. I remember this class having several "check your understanding" quizzes that focused on the mathematical foundations. Didn't struggle with this much in terms of difficulty and found the material very useful. Setting up custom simulation environments is very useful and arena is pretty cool even if it's unlikely you'll ever use it. Some assignments feature similar tools in Python (simpy). There might have been some coverage of R in this as well, or at least the accommodation for people that wanted to use it. There was a project for this class, but you didn't have to come up with the topic on your own, you could pick from a list, and you could do your project on your own if you wanted (which, given the option, was always the choice I made, due to the inherent randomness in picking the right members of a group). However you can do a group project if you want.
6. MGT 6203 - The first of the classes I took that required a group project. I recommend you are proactive in putting together groups in situations like these, posting threads on Ed/whatever the forum is as soon as the class begins. My group was alright; not everyone in it was great, but we had enough going overall to make up for the weaker group members. The project has some arbitrary guidelines from what I remember - you need to put together a midterm report and video presentation that is no more than ~2 minutes long or something like that (if it's 2:01 you get penalized) and the final report is 5 minutes or less, and everyone in the group needs to speak. I honestly don't remember much else about this class, it was pretty forgettable, but not horrible. Not overall that difficult, another business class so a lot of topics I was already familiar with, but there was more new here than in 8803.
7. CSE 6242 - Another class with a group project. Again, I was proactive, and again, overall, my group was... okay. Some people who were really good, some who were... not. This class is characterized by a lot of assignments that are autograded, like 6040, but the assignments are a bit more difficult. Overall not that difficult with the exception of the D3 assignment, but that's more due to the fact that I'm not really sure how the autograder works for that; it tries to determine based on some internal structure of your html code whether or not you're fulfilling the requirements. I got a perfect score on all of the assignments, and they give you the chance to score over 100% on I believe either assignment 1 or assignment 2. A lot of people bombed the D3 assignment (I think it's assignment 2) but still did well in the class because it's not that hard to do well on everything else, so keep that in mind. This class does a great job of exposing you to a lot of new technologies, but there isn't that much depth to it. That's not really the point of this kind of class though, it equips you with the tools to explore things deeper if you so choose.
8. ISYE 8803 - I was a big fan of this class. It's taught in MATLAB but you can use Python if you so choose, you'll see in reviews of this class that you should really just use MATLAB since a lot of the sample code etc. is not in other languages, so that's what I did. However, they must've recently added Python and R code for sample solutions, so feel free to use what you want. MATLAB was interesting, there were parts of one assignment I also used R for (grouped lasso in R is a lot more straightforward). This class is all about high dimensional data and representing it in a more simplified and comprehensive way, think about something like sonar which might have datapoints separated by milliseconds and thus a very dense representation of a signal captured over a short period of time. After ISYE 6740, I found this to be the class that taught me the most up to this point.
9. CS 7642 - Taking this class in summer is kind of rough. There's 6 homework assignments that are autograded, similar format to CSE 6040. There are 3 projects which are much larger programming assignments for which you'll write papers explaining methodology, results, etc. These projects take a while, particularly project 3. I did well on projects 1 and 2 and decently on 3, although I spent the most time on 3 by far; it involves reinforcement learning to simulate a soccer environment and train agents how to play against an AI developed externally. The AI baselines are hard to beat, and I didn't manage to beat them, but I wrote a decent paper explaining what I did. The final exam for this class should be dropped as it doesn't add value to the class, people regularly score extremely low on it, the average score in the class was something like a 45%. I scored a bit lower than average but still got an A in the class because it was heavily curved. Reinforcement learning is a very interesting topic, though, and I would highly recommend this class as a primer on the material. It's probably a good idea not to take it in the summer, though.
10. CS 7643 - This class was pretty difficult but I still think 6740 was tougher. The material is extremely dense. There are parts of programming assignments that are autograded, but also short answer portions that are reviewed by TAs. Grading on those were pretty subjective. This is the only class I can remember really needing to discuss things with TAs to understand what was being asked a little better. Unfortunately, the TAs in the semester I took this weren't the best. They seemed more concerned with unintentionally giving away a bit too much information in any of their responses. I can understand this, but it came off as intentionally opaque most of the time. There was a group project for this course as well, and my group was excellent, probably the best experience I had with a group in this program. I can imagine how much this course would've sucked if I would've had a mediocre/bad group. Based on discussions with my group, some of the grading seemed highly arbitrary, with some TAs grading similar responses to the same question differently. Like I said above, though, I never really worried about this. I never once in this program ever disputed a grade, and I continued with that in this class as well.
11. CSE 6748 - Practicum and final class. For this class you get to choose between a number of pre-determined Georgia Tech sponsors, or form your own project for your own employesome external entity. It was a lot more work to do this, so I just went with one of the pre-determined GTech ones. I really enjoyed this one, I had constant communication with the sponsor as I developed my project and came up with something that I was quite proud of. I wanted to explore a natural language processing task, so I picked a project that I thought would allow me to do this, and was very satisfied with the result. There's a number of videos you have to watch that explain some overarching aspect of analytics that were pretty interesting as well, you can watch all of these in a single day and then focus on the project if you like. It's possible to finish the entire semester's work in just a few weeks, I was able to do the entire project and write the final paper in about a month's time, at which point I coordinated with the sponsor to tailor the work I did to a format that they would be able to implement for their business problem if they wanted to.

I can't comment on the job placement prospects of this program, as I just finished it and was actively employed the entire time I was in it. As an actuary there's not much this program does that my exam certification process didn't in terms of career prospects. However, it did position me much better within the context of the expanding role of data and analytics in insurance going forward, and also opens me up to similarly mathematical roles with a firmer grounding in big data and also some business elements (quantitative finance/data science roles). There were also things I learned in this program that I was able to apply directly to my day-to-day work. If you're considering this program, I would recommend you think about a few things:

1. I'm pretty shocked at how many people I saw during my program who didn't really think that much about why they're doing this. I get that the barrier to entry is low, but it's a serious commitment if you're actually trying to graduate. Most of the people who start this program don't finish, so consider whether you're ready to spend almost 4 years going to school part-time, or if you're able to double up on classes for some of the semesters. Most of the people I know in the program doubled up at least once, I never did but I was never in a hurry. If you must double up, don't make it your first semester. Dip your toe in the water, see how it is, and then reassess. But, above all else, think about why you want to do this, and use that as your guiding goal to bring you through to the end.
2. Something I tended to see pretty much without fail in most of my classes - a lot of the graduate students in this program spend way too much time worrying about minute, particular details that don't really matter. Maybe it was just my philosophy that I would probably never dispute a grade, or that I was never really that concerned with getting a perfect GPA, etc. but I was always marveling at what I saw asked in Ed posts. People would ask whether they could use a certain programming language for an assignment, what packages they were allowed to use, would post screenshots of bugs and ask for TA's to help walk them through it, etc. Generally, without fail, the TAs would respond along the lines of: use whatever programming language you want, as long as you can display your output/submit it in a way that we can verify by running ourselves, we'll make the effort; use the debugger to step through your code to find the problem; etc. Generally, in most cases, the assignments and questions are designed in a way to teach you something, to get you to realize/understand some pattern or data concept that has some underlying logic that makes sense. For example, the idea of saliency maps on image processing takes the 3-channel RGB color pixel shading representation of an image and condenses it into a single channel, and, as a result of that, loses some resolution in suggesting parts of the image driving a model result that might be different depending on the channel; i.e., an image with a very heavily blue-shaded part that detracts from a certain result, but with a red-shaded part somewhere else that increases the probability of the modeled result. This was part of a conceptual question on how saliency maps differed from other pixel influence attribution methods in Deep Learning, and is part of what you should logically understand since it reduces the channels of the image representation from 3 (R, G, B) to 1 (usually grayscale). I think people tend to run to the TA the second they have difficulty with something and don't stop for a second to think it through, one exercise I might recommend is to consider: if you ran into this problem out in the world and you didn't have a TA/managesome other authority figure to explain the answer to you, what do you think it might be? Does the answer even matter? If it still matters and you have no idea how to solve it, maybe then you can go to the TA.
3. In every single group project I worked on, we had an initial planning session where we determined the scope of what we wanted to do. For most of the projects, this was an essential deliverable in addition to the final paper. However, in almost every case, someone in the group was always playing some game of runaway scope where they kept on wanting to add methods/questions to exploration beyond what was initially planned in ways that I intuitively knew would be impossible to manage in just one semester. I often had to say something along the lines of "if we have time we'll do that" or "when we write up our paper, we can put that in the avenues for future exploration section" or something similar. It turns out that we never had time to look into these things, and our initial scope was usually well-defined considering the time we had. I'm not sure why this was always so front-and-center in my focus, maybe since I used to work in consulting and project budgeting/scoping is so unbelievably important in that context. Whatever the case may be, understand that you won't be able to change the world every time you do a project. Make some incremental improvement, reflect on the results, and then include some notes in a "potential avenues for future exploration" section. I was pretty surprised at how many people had so much trouble putting the pencils down at the end. I can practically guarantee that, for the classes where I did a project on my own, I probably did substantially less work than other individual groups for precisely this reason. In general, you probably don't have to do as much work as you think you do.

So, would I recommend the program overall? Absolutely. It's not perfect, I found some of the formats annoying - CS 7642 has no business having that final exam, it adds nothing to the class at all, is arbitrarily extremely difficult and the class is good enough and complete enough with the removal of that exam that its inclusion to me appears to be the result of some arbitrary quota somewhere. I also don't really like the group project format and profoundly disagree with the reasoning that GTech and most other academic institutions give as to why group projects are even good or necessary, however I do acknowledge that from a logistics and resource standpoint it's unmanageable to grade individual projects for every single person in a given class and group projects do decrease the number of papers that TAs will have to read. Considering the scale of what GTech has managed to do, and how many students enroll each year, I'm surprised the program is as well-managed as it is. Yes, it does require a lot of self-teaching, but in most cases you can actively engage with TAs multiple times a week if you're struggling with topics and from what I've seen they were very responsive.
Anyways just wanted to give my perspective as someone who just finished this program and still thinks it's worthwhile despite its flaws.

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Should I be worried?”
Why would you be worried?” Kim said. “Dean Lichman loves us.”
Dean Lichman had asked the two of them to stop by his office, though his brief message had not said what for. That left Vell to concoct nightmare scenarios in his head.
“He doesn’t love all of us.”
“Alex doesn’t count as ‘us’,” Kim said. She was a looper in purely a technical sense, mostly due to her own refusal to be a team player. “Besides, she’s been behaving lately. She’s only been an asshole, not an active liability.”
“That we know of.”
“If we don’t know about it, Dean probably doesn’t either,” Kim said. “It’s fine, Vell, he probably just wants to ask us for advice or deal with some problem he has.”
“That’s not much better,” Vell said. “How weird would things have to be that the Dean is asking us for help personally?”
“Only one way to find out,” Kim said. She gestured to the door to the Dean’s office.
Kim entered first, and found it in much the same state as it always was. The desk piled high with paperwork, a small bowl of assorted candies shoved into the corner of the desk, and Dean Lichman behind it, frantically tapping away on a laptop. Vell had not been in this office for several years, and it was vastly different than the last time he’d been here.
“Ah, there you are, come in, have a seat,” Dean Lichman said. “Unless you’d rather we have our conversation elsewhere, Vell.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Well, it’s my understanding you haven’t been in this office since my, uh, predecessor,” Dean Lichman said.
“Oh, right, the kidnapping,” Vell said. “No, I’m good, I don’t really get traumatized by things anymore.”
Vell had been killed too many different ways in too many different places to have a functional trauma response. A few days ago he’d gotten his legs chewed off by a vending machine, and still stopped by it to pick up a soda on his way to the office.
“That’s a very concerning response, Mr. Harlan.”
“Yeah. Anyway, what did you need?”
Dean Lichman gestured for the duo to take a seat, and both did so. He folded desiccated hands in front of himself before beginning to speak.
“I would like to ask you two to take a look at an experiment that will be occurring later this week,” Dean Lichman said. “I don’t have any reason to believe it poses a threat, but I would like to be assured it is a safe and ethical environment, and, well, you two have a knack for identifying trouble spots.”
“You could say that,” Kim said. It was more accurate to say that trouble had a way of identifying them -and then leaping at them and ripping their heads off.
“I’d appreciate it if the two of you could simply examine the laboratory and give it your approval, or disapproval, as the case may be,” Dean Lichman said. “Though if you’re too busy, I fully understand.”
“If you don’t think this is dangerous, why are you asking for our help anyway?”
“Simply for my own peace of mind, frankly,” Dean Lichman said. “The school’s policies on animal experimentation are...satisfactory, I suppose, but I do want to take extra precautions when the subject is a creature as smart as an elephant.”
“An elephant?”
“Yes, a resident of a reserve in Thailand,” Dean Lichman said. “An older elephant by the name of Mae Noi. She has cancer, apparently, and she is submitting to experimental treatment in the hopes it will be useful for younger elephants.”
Kim’s digital face briefly flashed with a facial expression of concerned skepticism.
“‘She’ is submitting to treatment? As in the elephant?”
“Yes. Apparently the elephant can talk,” Dean Lichman said. “No, I don’t know how it works, they said it was ‘more impressive in person’.”
“Well now I kind of want to go just to see the talking elephant,” Vell said.
“Same.”
“Well, do try to take a few glances at the experiment’s safety while you’re there,” Dean Lichman said.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vell said. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I’ll be there too,” Kim said.
“Excellent. Thank you both, and I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” the Dean said. He then bid them both a polite goodbye and returned to his mountains of paperwork. Vell took a step out of the office and then took a sip from the soda he’d recently retrieved from the evil vending machine.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think I really do want to see the talking elephant,” Kim said.
“Obviously, yeah, we all want to see the talking elephant,” Vell said. “I mean the whole situation. You think the elephant thing is going to be the daily apocalypse for that day?”
“Well, on the one hand, an elephant seems like the kind of thing that would kill us,” Kim said. “But on the other, I feel like the fact we have advance warning means it’s not going to happen.”
“True. The universe probably wouldn’t make it that easy for us.”
“Yeah, but the elephant thing still feels pretty threatening,” Kim said. “Only way to find out is to wait a few days, I guess.”
A FEW DAYS LATER
“Hello you two,” Dean Lichman said. “And Hawke.”
“Hey,” Hawke said.
“He also wanted to see the talking elephant,” Kim explained.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it was an open invitation,” Dean Lichman said.
“Thanks. Still, sorry for not saying I was going to show up in advance,” Hawke said. “It took me a long time to make up my mind whether I was more interested in or afraid of a talking elephant.”
“They are rather large, aren’t they? I suppose that could be intimidating.”
“I’m okay with elephants on their own, it’s the talking part that doesn’t sit right with me,” Hawke said. “What if the elephant doesn’t like me? What if I’m the first person to ever get insulted by an elephant?”
“You’re less afraid of getting trampled by an elephant than insulted by one?”
“I’m a little afraid of trampling, but elephants are chill,” Hawke explained. “They wouldn’t attack unless provoked. I kind of feel like one might call me a dipshit unprovoked, though.”
“You have oddly specifics fears, Mr. Hughes,” Dean Lichman said.
“Yeah.”
In spite of those fears, Hawke happily stepped through the door to the zoology lab. It did not take a long time to locate the elephant in the room, as it was a literal elephant. The towering pachyderm was in a makeshift pen in the center of the lab, with an ample supply of food and a strange pedestal in front of her.
“Dr. Chanthara,” Dean Lichman said, with a polite wave to one of the researchers in the room. “Good to see you. These are the students I told you about.”
“Hm. Nice to meet you,” Dr. Chanthara said. He was, perhaps not unreasonably, skeptical of why three seemingly random students were in charge of a safety inspection. The fact that one of the three was a robot made him even more skeptical.
“Hi, nice to meet you too, and, uh, don’t mind us,” Vell said. “We just have an eye for weird things other people might miss.”
“Sure. I- wait. Aren’t you that kid who got chosen by a god?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Vell said. “And her too, technically.”
Kim shrugged. She didn’t care for any extra attention on that point.
“Right,” Chanthara said. He was beginning to see why these students might know their stuff. “I suppose we should start by introducing you to Mae Noi. Say hello, Mae.”
The elephant shifted on her feet and poked her trunk at the wide pedestal in front of her twice.
“Hello. Friends,” a synthesized voice droned. Vell stepped a little closer to the pedestal, just enough to see that there were an array of buttons on the side facing Mae Noi.
“Oh, it’s kind of like a keyboard,” Vell said. He’d seen similar things used with dogs, though usually in a much simpler fashion. Mae Noi seemed to have a few dozen buttons at her disposal.
“Smart,” Mae Noi said, with another prod of her trunk.
“We initially put it into our sanctuary as a bit of a novelty, something elephants could choose to interact with,” Dr. Chanthara explained. “Mae Noi took to it a bit better than most. Especially once she found out she could use it to ask for food.”
“Food. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.”
“No, Mae, no food until after experiment,” Dr. Chanthara scolded.
“Experiment,” Mae Niko said with a prod. “Pumpkin.”
“Yes, experiment then pumpkin,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“That’s not really a talking elephant, is it?” Hawke said.
“It’s more talking than most elephants,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“Elephant. Smart,” Mae Niko said. “Smart.”
“Yes, uh, right, elephant smart,” Hawke said. He took a step back, to avoid any further offense and any further risk of being insulted by Mae Noi.
“You’re very impressive, Mae, don’t mind him,” Kim said. “How many words does she know?”
“Our platform back home has around three hundred words, though she’s still learning some of them,” Dr. Chanthara said. “The ‘travel’ version we put together only has a hundred, just enough to make sure she can get her basic needs met and communicate about the experiment.”
“Right, speaking of, I do believe we should put some time into our reason for being here,” Dean Lichman interjected. “You’re welcome to stick around afterwards, at Dr. Chanthara and Mae Noi’s discretion, of course, but we should get underway.”
“We probably should get to business, yeah,” Kim said. She tapped the side of her metal head. “I’m going to scan the lab. Vell, you talk to the elephant and make sure everything’s above-board.”
“Abov- oh, right,” Vell said. “Sorry, not exactly used to being able to ask animals if they agree to animal experimentation.”
“Experiment,” Mae said.
“Yeah, experiment,” Vell said, as he turned to Mae. “So, Mae Noi, this experiment might hurt, do you know that?”
“Experiment. Hurt. Elephant,” Mae Noi prodded. “Experiment. Help. Elephant. Help. Baby.”
“Help baby?”
“Baby. Baby. Elephant. Sick. Baby. Sick.”
“We’ve explained the nature of her condition to Mae Noi as best we can,” Dr. Chanthara said. “She has several children, and is concerned they might be similarly affected.”
“Help. Baby,” Mae Noi said. “Experiment. Help.”
The way Mae Noi frantically tapped the buttons tugged at Vell’s heartstrings, but he choked those emotions down.
“So you want to do this experiment to help baby, got it,” Vell said. “Even if it hurts you?”
“Elephant. Old,” Mae Noi said. “Hurt. Okay. Help. Baby.”
“Huh. Well, that does sound like informed consent to me,” Vell said. “Passes ethical muster, at least.”
The campus rules allowed students to be experimented on, with their consent, so Vell saw no reason not to apply the same standard to an elephant.
“You speak up if you change your mind about the experiment, okay?”
“Stop. Stop. Stop,” Mae said, mashing the same button a few times. “Yes.”
“You got it. I’m going to go help my friends check things out,” Vell said. “Good talking to you, Mae.”
“Good. Talk. Friend,” Mae said. She waved goodbye with her trunk, and Vell waved back. He wandered away from Mae Noi’s pedestal and found Kim and Hawke carefully examining rows of beakers and various other supplies.
“Nothing sus yet, boss,” Hawke said.
“Nothing caustic, mutagenic, or explosive?”
“Well, something mutagenic, but it’s supposed to be,” Kim said. She had scanners built into her body much like those that had once been in Vell’s glasses, allowing her to analyze the complex chemical formulas at a glance. “They’re going for some gene editing similar to what we’ve tried to do on human cancer patients. Low success rate, but not harmful. Some adaptations to work on elephants, of course.”
“Run it by any of our chemistry and biology student friends yet?”
“A few,” Kim said. “Haven’t gotten anything back yet, though.”
“Maybe run it by Skye, too,” Vell said. “She’d recognize anything that’d mutate an animal.”
“She does love to mutate things,” Kim said.
“Benevolently,” Vell insisted. “Just show her. I’m going to check for any stray equipment.”
The presence of an unusually large test subject had resulted in the lab being rearranged and reshuffled, so Vell did a quick scan for any misplaced equipment that might pose a threat. He found, to his surprise, a tidy and well-organized environment, with any and all extraneous materials securely locked away. There wasn’t so much as a shrink ray out of place. Vell did another loop just to be sure, but returned to his friends empty-handed.
“This place has less safety hazards than my lab,” Vell said. Hawke stared at him for a while.
“Why does your lab have safety hazards?’
“I do runecarving, there’s like, hammers and chisels,” Vell said. “Those can hurt people.”
“Mm, true,” Hawke said. “So you really didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing,” Vell said. “This place is secure as I’ve ever seen a lab be.”
“It’s like I said,” Kim began. “We got an actual warning about it, so obviously nothing’s going to go wrong. That’d be too easy.”
“Maybe,” Vell said. “Things can get teleported in, or someone could cast a spell, or something.”
“Yeah, but that applies to anywhere, at any time,” Kim said.
“Kim’s right,” Hawke said. “I say we go business as usual.”
“I guess,” Vell said. “We have to branch out a little, at least. Can’t keep an eye on one room all day.”
The trio stopped sulking around the outskirts of the lab and returned to Dean Lichman and Dr. Chanthara.
“Everything looks good,” Kim said. “Probably the safest lab I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“We have very high safety standards here at the Einstein-Odinson,” Dean Lichman said, defensively. “Relatively speaking. Innovation requires some risk.”
“I understand perfectly. So does Mae.”
“Hurt. Okay,” Mae said.
“Not that okay,” Vell said. “Nice meeting you, Dr. Chanthara. You too, Mae.”
“Wait.”
Mae prodded one of the buttons on her pedestal and then pointed her trunk at the three of them. Hawke looked deeply concerned, but stepped forward alongside Vell and Kim. Mae Noi appraised them with massive brown eyes, and then moved her trunk back towards the pedestal. Vell noticed a distinctive scar on the bridge of her long nose just as Mae Noi pressed another button.
“Joke.”
“...Joke?”
Dr. Chanthara sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Just go along with it,” he said. “She likes to tell her joke.”
“Uh, okay,” Vell said. “Let’s hear it.”
“What. Elephant. Favorite. Part. Tree.”
“Umm...I don’t know, Mae,” Vell lied. He’d heard this joke from a kid, once. “What part?”
“Trunk,” Mae said. She gave a loud bray of amusement and then slammed her trunk down a few more times to emphasize the punchline. “Trunk. Trunk.”
“Oh, ha, I get it,” Kim said, hoping her feigned laugh was convincing. She’d never tried to lie to an elephant before. “Good one, Mae.”
Mae Noi shifted from side to side, looking pleased with herself, while the trio took a step back and stopped their feigned laughter.
“Did you give her buttons just to tell that joke with?”
“She gets upset,” Dr. Chanthara said. “I’m not even sure she understands the pun, she just likes people’s reactions.”
“As long as she’s having fun,” Hawke said.
“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Vell said. “Good luck with the experiment, feel free to let us know if you need a hand with anything.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Dr. Chanthara said. Some of his earlier skepticism seemed to have softened, but he did not seem entirely onboard with three strangers mucking about with his experiment. Vell and his friends left before they stretched what little goodwill they had any further. Mae Noi waved her trunk goodbye as the three left the lab and stepped back onto the quad.
“I’m going to try and sneak some classes in,” Hawke said. “Later.”
“I’ll check some of our usual hot spots,” Kim said, before she too left. Once again alone, Vell headed to one of his own classes, and called up Samson.
“Hey, Samson,” Vell began. “See anything interesting while we were playing with the elephant?”
“Well, I thought I clocked someone acting suspicious, but it turns out he was only sneaking around to go see his boyfriend,” Samson said. “Nothing apocalyptic, but I did get called a homophobe, which is pretty emotionally devastating.”
“I’m sure you’ll recover someday,” Vell said. “Keep an eye out. Usually the safer things look, the more dangerous things end up being.”
“Will do,” Samson said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
***
Vell got increasingly nervous the longer the day went without its daily disaster. He thought about checking in on Mae Noi again, but then recalled Kim’s warning about it being too obvious, but then remembered that nobody had seen anything suspicious anywhere else, but then remember that Mae Noi’s lab had looked perfectly safe-
“Vell.”
“Huh?”
“You’re spiraling,” Kim said.
“I’m not spiraling, I’m just,” Vell said, with a pause for contemplation. “Considering multiple options.”
“In a spiral fashion,” Kim said. “Eat the damn french fries. Honestly, what’s the point of ordering so many if you’re just going to let them get cold?”
“It’s not like they’re going to go to waste,” Vell said. The same time loop that allowed him to eat massive amounts of french fries without fear of gaining weight also allowed him to avoid food waste. One of the upsides of life in a time loop.
“Just eat, Vell,” Kim said. “You worry too much about all this shit.”
“I’m in charge, it’s my job to worry about it,” Vell said.
“It’s your job to handle it,” Kim said. “There’s no point thinking about this shit before it happens, you spend all day thinking about an elephant and then the universe drops, like, a bat with tentacles on your head. Just deal with as it comes, Vell.”
Vell leaned on the table and managed to chomp down on a french fry or two.
“You know, next year, when I’m not running the show anymore, I’m going to call and see if you still think it’s that easy.”
“I sure hope so,” Kim said. “I’m saying all this shit trying to make myself believe it too.”
“Oh good, you’re lying to both of us,” Vell said. “That’s cool.”
“Fake it ‘til you make it, Vell, that’s how it goes,” Kim said. “Eat your damn french fries.”
Vell rolled his eyes and returned to his fries, which were now starting to cool. Thankfully he would not have to worry about finishing them. A loud crash from across campus interrupted him mid-bite and nearly made Vell choke on his fries. He painfully swallowed the half-chewed food and then looked over his shoulder.
“Son of a bitch, finally,” Vell said. A few years ago he’d found it weird whenever he was relieved about a disaster, but now he was just genuinely glad to get it over with. The waiting was as killer as the apocalypse. He tossed his fries in the trash and headed toward the sound of chaos, with Kim right behind him.
“Already told everybody?”
“Well, I may or may not have left Alex and Helena out of the loop…”
“Kim.”
“They’d find out anyway,” Kim said. “I got to use my brain parts to get in touch with them, even over wi-fi that shit feels dirty.”
“Just get in- stop.”
Vell held out his hand. Kim froze in place and did not move. Not intentionally, at least. There was a small amount of unintentional movement. The ground was vibrating.
“Always love a good earthquake,” Kim said.
“That’s not a quake,” Vell said. “That’s...footsteps!”
Vell grabbed Kim and dove out of the way just in time for something to barrel through the walls of the dining hall and stampede across the room. Tables, chairs, and more than a few students were crushed under the feet of a hulking, brown-furred behemoth as it charged. Kim picked herself and Vell up off the floor and tried to trail its progress.
“That’s a- oh fuck me,” Kim said. “Please don’t say you told me so.”
Vell got his bearings and looked across the room at the titanic form of a woolly mammoth. Though it was definitely recognizable as an archaic mammoth, the ancient creature was also heavily mutated, unnaturally large even by mammoth standards, and with multiple curled, jagged tusks protruding from a slobbering maw.
“Well that could be unrelated,” Vell said. “Mammoths can come from a lot of places, cloning accidents, time machines…”
The mammoth reached a wall, and rather than barreling through, turned around, facing directly towards Vell. A prominent scar covered the bridge of its broad trunk.
“Oh, nope, that’s definitely Mae,” Vell said. The scar was in the same place and at the same angle. Even a clone wouldn’t have an identical scar.
Once the revelation had struck, Mae took her turn. Vell found himself staring straight down the barrel of a very angry mammoth coming right at him at Vell-squishing velocity. Luckily he’d been charged at by a lot of creatures over four years of looping.
Vell jumped up and to the side, and latched on to one of the curled tusks, which made for very convenient handlebars. Kim did the same on the opposite side of Mae, and punched her in the head.
“Wait, wait, hold off on the violence for a second,” Vell shouted. He tried to wave at Kim to stop, but Mae was thrashing so violently he had to grip the tusks with both hands.
“Good plan,” Kim shouted. “Can you get Mae on board?”
Another set of tables got crushed underfoot. Thankfully the other students were out of trampling range by now, but Mae Noi’s feet were still coated in the blood of earlier victims.
“Mae’s smart, maybe we can calm her down,” Vell said. He then ducked to dodge a swat from Mae’s mutated trunk.
“Call me crazy, Vell, but I think this is more than just a bad mood,” Kim said, as she climbed up Mae’s seven jagged tusks like a ladder.
“We have to try,” Vell said. The loopers rule against hurting other intelligent life forms had some flexibility for blood-crazed mutants on violent rampages, but they had to at least try to reason first. Vell climbed up on of Mae’s tusks and looked into one of her bloodshot eyes for any sign of recognition. “Mae! It’s Vell, do you remember?”
The only response Vell got was an enraged trumpet, which he didn’t think was a “yes”.
“Come on, bud,” Vell said. “What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree, right? The trunk?”
The massive brown eye staring at Vell blinked, and he felt a brief glimmer of hope. He then felt a brief glimmer of his lungs being crushed as Mae swung her head and slammed her tusks into the wall, and Vell along with them. Kim punched Mae in the throat and then jumped across the tusks to grab Vell and carry him to safety.
“You okay, Vell?”
He opened his mouth to respond, and a pint or two of blood came out instead.
“Apparently not,” he mumbled. “I might be down a few ribs. And a lung. Or two.”
Kim carried Vell a safe distance from the fight and set him down on the ground, where he promptly spat out another mouthful of blood.
“Okay, uh, you just lie there and try to die peacefully, I guess,” Kim said.
“Way ahead of you.”
***
“Was that last bit as funny as I thought it was?” Vell asked. “I think the blood loss was affecting my sense of humor.”
“It was kind of hard to appreciate in the moment,” Kim said. “But as far as dying jokes go, it was pretty good.”
Vell and Kim walked into the lair for their morning meeting and joined the loopers that had already gathered.
“Okay, what’d I miss while I was dead?”
“Well, after Alex was done getting herself killed,” Samson began.
“You’re saying that as if it’s something to be ashamed of,” Alex said. “Vell also died.”
“Yeah, but he got killed trying to do something good. You got killed trying to do something stupid.”
“Trying to eliminate a threat is not stupid,” Alex said.
“We don’t kill intelligent creatures,” Hawke said. “Sometimes we punch them into a coma, but we don’t kill them.”
“When a dog bites, you put it down, I don’t see why the same principle doesn’t apply to a mammoth that’s crushed seventy people.”
“That wasn’t Mae’s fault,” Vell said. “She got mutated, or something. On that note: did you guys figure out what happened to Mae Noi?”
“Nothing,” Hawke said. “Looked like Mae smashed up the entire lab, trampled everyone involved in the experiment too. Nothing left to investigate, and nobody left alive to interrogate.”
“Typical,” Vell sighed. “At least we have an easy out. Dean Lichman was really concerned about the ethics of that whole experiment. We raise some kind of complaint, we could probably get the whole thing shut down.”
“The problem is getting the complaint,” Hawke said. “That lab was airtight, Vell.”
“Apparently not completely airtight,” Kim said. “I can camp out in the lab and raise an entirely justifiable stink whenever something capable of making a murder-mammoth shows up.”
“And what if it happens so suddenly you can’t complain about it?” Samson asked. “For all we know that could’ve been some kind of dimensional rift, or time anomaly, or something. It might not be as simple as somebody just putting in the wrong syringe at the wrong time.”
“He’s got a point,” Vell said. “We might want to shut this down before it gets there.”
“Seems like our best option is to plant evidence, then,” Alex said.
Everyone else at the table spent a few seconds brainstorming ways to prove her wrong, and much to their frustration, could not.
“Okay, fine,” Vell said. “But it needs to be something incidental, not something anyone would get blamed for. We want to cancel the experiment, not get anyone in trouble.”
“I could have a seizure on some sensitive equipment,” Helena offered. “It’ll break something and nobody would dare get mad at me.”
“Can you fake a seizure?”
“No, but I’m allergic to elephants, so I’d probably have one anyway the moment I stepped in the lab,” Helena said.
“I don’t feel entirely comfortable sending you into anaphylactic shock for a bit,” Vell said.
“Offer’s on the table,” Helena said. “I’ll live. Wouldn’t have made it through that trip to the zoo otherwise.”
“Anybody have any non-medical emergency suggestions?”
“Seagull in the air vents,” Kim said.
“Will that work?”
“It happens now and then,” Kim said. “Seagull gets in, and Dean has to close down the whole lab for potential material damage and biohazard risks if they shit in the vents.”
“Really? We’ve never had to deal with anything like that,” Hawke said.
“It may shock you to learn that sometimes minor, tedious bullshit happens that we have nothing to do with,” Kim said.
“That is kind of surprising, actually.”
“Enough. Kim, can you grab a seagull?” Vell asked. He shouldered his bookbag, and stuck a hand into the extradimensional pocket that existed within it. “I can probably smuggle it in with my bag.”
“Yeah, I can get you a seagull,” Kim said. Since she did not need to sleep, she had to find ways to keep herself entertained at night, seagull-grabbing being among them.
“Alright, we’ll go grab one and put it in the bag,” Vell said. “The rest of you, be ready to meet us when I call.”
***
Roughly three minutes later, Vell put out the call and they reconvened in front of the biology lab.
“Yeah, that was much faster than I thought it would be,” Vell said.
“I’m great at grabbin’ birds,” Kim said. Seagulls were among the easier birds to snatch, even. They were suckers for food, and many of them were attracted to her shiny metallic body anyway.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vell said. “I want this thing out of my bag ASAP.”
Even though the seagull was safely within a pocket dimension, Vell would swear he could still feel the bird thrashing and squawking inside his bag. He tightened his grip on the shoulder strap and led the way towards the zoology lab entrance. He grabbed the handle and held it as he froze for a second.
“Vell, what’s up? Is this bird escaping?”
“No, the handle’s vibrating,” Vell said. It was shaking the same way a wall near an incredibly loud speaker might. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely. He opened the door immediately, and let all his friends hear the frantic trumpeting of a panicked elephant.
Inside the lab, Mae Noi was stomping her feet and trumpeting as loud as he long trunk would allow. She swayed from side to side in her pen, bumping against the walls not quite hard enough to damage them, but hard enough that it was clear she was doing it on purpose.
“What the heck is happening here?”
“Ah, Vell,” Dean Lichman said. He hustled over to Vell’s side and gestured to the entire room. “Maybe you can figure out what’s going on.”
Mae Noi stopped braying long enough to start mashing her trunk against her pedestal, mashing out the word “Bad” over and over again.
“Our test subject, Mae Noi, has been throwing an absolute fit ever since she got here,” Dean Lichman said. “Dr. Chanthara, these are the students I was telling you about earlier.”
While Vell reintroduced himself to Dr. Chanthara, Kim and Hawke stepped up to examine Mae Noi and her enclosure. It was a far cry from the peaceful, orderly scene they had examined on the first loop. They were half an hour earlier this time than before, but Kim found it unlikely that they had been able to calm Mae Noi down, clean everything up, and get back to work in such a short amount of time. They hadn’t mentioned any of this panic on the first loop either. They were soon joined in their confusion by Chanthara and Vell.
“We’ve tried everything; food, water, her favorite toys, even videos of her children,” Dr. Chanthara said. “We’ve even offered to call off the experiment, but she won’t listen.”
“She is an animal,” Alex said. “Sometimes they do things arbitrarily.”
“Not Mae,” Dr. Chanthara said. “Some of our sanctuaries residents from traumatic backgrounds can have outbursts, but Mae was injured in the wild. She’s never been like this.”
“Maybe some experiment on the island is upsetting her,” Vell said. “A sonic experiment only she can hear, or something…”
Vell stopped and thought about it. If there had been such an irritant, it would’ve been there on the first loop too. Everything always repeated exactly the same, except for-
“Could you, uh, take a step back for a second?” Vell mumbled. “I want to try talking to her.”
“Don’t get close,” Chanthara warned him.
“I’m not, I’m not,” Vell said. He didn’t need to get very close to tell a joke.
The massive brown eyes of Mae Noi stayed locked on Vell as he approached, and she continued to mash the “Bad” button on her pedestal.
“I know, I know, bad,” Vell said. “But, uh, do you want to hear a joke?”
Mae Noi stopped. She locked eyes with Vell for a few seconds, and then cautiously tapped a button on her pedestal.
“Joke.”
“Right, joke,” Vell said. He tried to recall the exact sequence of words Mae had used on the first loop. “What elephant favorite part tree?”
Mae didn’t blink.
“Trunk,” Vell said.
After a moment of contemplation, Mae Noi let out one final, fervent, trumpet, and then started mashing buttons on her pedestal again.
“Bad. Help. Help. Experiment. Bad. Help. Bad. Help.”
“Yeah, bad help, one second,” Vell said. He turned away from Mae Noi to look at Dean Lichman. “Hey, uh, excuse me, Dean? Hey, uh, if I remember correctly there are some pretty complicated rules on having intelligent animals on campus, yes?”
“Well, yes,” Dean Lichman said. After hearing of some questionable ethical practices involving an octopus back in first year, he had instituted a few clauses into the school’s ethical code of conduct regarding intelligent animals like elephants, octopuses, and dolphins. “Mae’s presence here is a bit of an outlier, but there were workaround, given her apparent consent to the experiment.”
“Yeah, about that, is she, uh,” Vell began. “Is she registered as a student?”
“Yes.”
Vell pursed his lips. It took a few seconds for his friends to catch on.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Samson snapped. He turned his back on the crowd and leaned against a wall while Hawke put his head in his hands.
“The first rule of looping,” Alex said quietly. “Loopers are randomly selected-”
She looked up and locked eyes with Mae Noi.
“From all registered students.”

Something I was thinking about when I watched the final moments of the most recent EFAP was Mauler’s observation that the internet content creator landscape used to be different when AVGN clones ruled Youtube and his question of how that shifted into video essayists and commentary channels. I thought about that for a while and I thought of some reasons why the landscape changed that I would like to share.
Managers
Something that people might not be aware of is how many Youtubers have people managing their content in the form of things like setting up brand deals and other services that I am not familiar with. Some of them are very public about what they do, some of them are more private. The important thing is how managers worked in the past.
One thing that I liked about Machinima, ScrewAttack, and Channel Awesome that the creators probably didn’t like is that they forced the older creators to stick to a set schedule of uploads and some of them forced creators to follow a set formula. This meant that the manager would make sure that if a creator uploaded a video every Friday at 2pm, they would have an upload every single Friday at 2pm.
How would this work if the creator wanted to take a week off? Well, the creator would have to have a video to upload in advance. What if the creator wanted to spend 3 weeks on a super-duper big video? Well, they could absolutely do that, but it would be a passion project and they’d still have to follow the set schedule for regular uploads.
This created a content landscape that I actually enjoyed a lot as a consumer because it’s probably the way it should be for reviewers. Every week, or every day in rare cases, a movie reviewer would need to review a different movie, which meant that a reviewer might have to force themselves to sit through a movie they don’t want to see like Fifty Shades Of Grey to give it a chance to subvert their expectations and earn a glowing review, or dig deep to find a new indie movie to review to fill that quota if they really didn’t want to sit through Fifty Shades Of Grey.
The promise of Patreon and creators becoming more independent was that creators would exclusively make videos on topics they wanted to do, but I personally think that was the wrong way to go. I’ve maintained a position that I prefer it when content creators are encouraged, or even forced, to talk about things that they don’t want to talk about because oftentimes that’s when reviewers are most interesting. Some of my favorite Roger Ebert reviews were when he reviewed a children’s movie like Space Jam or Pokemon: The First Movie, and some of my favorite Zero Punctuation reviews are when he has to pick out a random indie game and commit to reviewing it regardless of what the indie game turned out to be, like when he reviewed Hell Pie.
What I think has happened is that the lack of managers has encouraged content creators to upload whatever they want, whenever they want, which has usually translated to videos about ‘easy’ topics, like videos about Disney movies, being uploaded weeks, or even months, apart, which has made the content creation landscape, at least for reviewers, a lot less interesting, and a lot less engaging.
It’s actually one of the reasons why EFAP has been losing my interest lately, because although they upload a stream every week the topics they choose are generally ‘easy’ topics because I genuinely think the hosts don’t have the ability to make an EFAP on something more obscure, or even just ‘difficult’ like Baby Reindeer, very interesting, or they just won’t do streams on those topics because, as Rags said: “This is our show, and we can do whatever the fuck we want.”
Honestly, my hot take is that I liked you better when you couldn’t do whatever the fuck you wanted all of the time. In fact, one of my favorite Rags moments on EFAP was when he clearly didn’t want to be involved with the debate with Twin Perfect.
Sponsors
I remember the Adpocalypse and how Youtubers transitioned to sponsors over relying heavily on ad-revenue. What that event transpired into is that audiences were far more accepting of basically any form of making money that Youtubers would use. Patreon became a very dominant part of Youtube, but sponsors also became extremely common and audiences would even cheer in the comment sections when creators would have their first Raid: Shadow Legends sponsorship.
Sponsors are what I want to talk about because I have seen Youtubers show that they have a bunch of videos on their computer that they simply aren’t releasing to the public because they don’t want to upload a single video without a sponsor on their main channel, as well as Youtubers having a second channel where they upload ‘slop’ content without sponsors that most of their audience is usually unaware of or isn’t interested in.
The problem is that the appeal for pretty much all content on Youtube is the personalities of the people creating the content, which is less about the actual personalities and more like “That’s an actual person doing what they actually want to do, that’s so cool,” but that is usually undercut by the presence of sponsors. The fact that Youtubers will sit on a video they made and not upload it unless they can get a sponsor to pay for it always seemed strange to me, especially for Youtubers where the image they present is “I’m just a normal, chill guy who makes Youtube videos for fun,” which needs the caveat of “Uhhhh, I’m actually really poor and if I don’t take this BetterHelp sponsor I can’t afford my rent this month. Please understand, I’m barely making any money on Youtube,” when a sponsor is included in the video.
As weird as this sounds, there are communities of creatives online that don’t expect to ever make any money putting hours, days, weeks, months, and years of work into a project. There are modding communities, bloggers, game developers, fanfiction writers, and artists that only want comments saying “You did a good job,” and Youtubers used to be that way, or they used to present themselves that way before sponsors became as common as they are now.
I don’t say this often enough, but I remember when Youtubers would make videos about not just random pictures on Deviantart, but on fanfictions and pornographic videos. They’d do those videos for things like clout, which is something that I don’t see too often on Youtube.
People might say that there are a bunch of Youtubers that talk about obscure media and Youtubers that make things without any expectation of earning money, which I say “Well, yeah, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” and then I’d point to things like AVGN’s Atari Porn video, and old videos where commentary Youtubers would branch out from their niche to say “Hey, just for fun, we’re going to check out this weird fanfiction story,” or how Yahtzee would include fun projects he created at the end of his Zero Punctuation videos, like how he’d dub over scenes in video games like Half-Life and Painkiller, or how he made a slideshow with Garry’s Mod that depicted a love story between Heavy and Medic.
What I’m saying is that a large part of what made Youtube fun was that not every video from an established creator with 100k subscribers needed to be monetized, or even created with the expectation of being successful or well-received by the community. There was a time when the expectations people had for, say, Jim Sterling was for a high-quality Jimquisition video to be produced and uploaded to the main channel once a week, and for the other days to feature a minimally-edited video where he showed himself trying out a game or reacting to a trailer on his main channel.
In the past I said that I would like it if EFAP would talk about comments and read fanfictions on-stream and I was mocked for it, but I stand by that statement because, although EFAP clearly doesn’t want to do it regularly, when they do read comments on-stream it tends to result in some of the best content because it showcases a side to them that I like. Instead of being totally normal dudes talking to each other about a movie they saw or reacting to a video, they have to use text-to-speech or read the comment using a silly voice or, well, use just a little bit of creativity when reading those comments out-loud.
What I’m kinda saying is that, yes, I think we all like professionally-produced content, and we all accept that sponsors for videos are necessary. But, like, I don’t like how for most successful Youtubers only the monetizable content, often with sponsors, is presented on the main channel, while the other content doesn’t exist, is uploaded to a secondary channel, or is locked behind some kind of paywall.
It just feels strange that these normal, chill, relatable people have gotten themselves into a position where they can earn real money, in some cases a lot of money, to stand in front of a webcam for 10 minutes talking about their favorite movies, chat with a group of friends, or even just play their favorite video game, and in quite a few cases they won’t do any of those things unless there’s a way to monetize it. Imagine how it looks to say “Well, I can’t talk about this cool fanfiction story I read on my main channel to my audience that enjoys my content about that franchise because I can’t get a sponsor for it.”
I wonder if Rags, a regular host of EFAP, appreciates the irony of him criticizing Chris Stuckmann for advocating that filmmakers “Get as much time and money as possible to make their films in the ideal circumstances and for the process to be easy,” when he’s in the position that he’s in where, on EFAP, he has as much freedom as he wants in the ideal circumstances to make money with EFAP, and it’s easy, yet he still will complain if he’s asked to step out of his comfort zone, even a little bit, on stream.
Insecurity
A while ago I had a theory about Cancel Culture which was that usually Cancel Culture is incredibly exaggerated by the audience of the people being canceled, and that most of the people being canceled are perfectly fine. The go-to example is the poor lady who made a joke about AIDS before going to Africa that got off the flight and got fired from her job due to her joke going viral. What people often don’t mention is that she got fired because it’s a terrible look for the company’s PR person to be involved with such a massive PR disaster, and that she got hired at another company a very short time later. Plus, like, she made a racist joke and people were calling her a racist, it wasn’t like she was targeted for absolutely no reason.
My theory is that people think that Cancel Culture absolutely ruins the lives of celebrities and influencers online because of their intense reactions to being canceled. An early example being Seth Macfarlane, who was mocked for his poorly-received hosting of the Oscars and who seemed incredibly bitter about it, making Cancel Culture a plot point in multiple episodes of Family Guy, talking about how bitter he was about it in interviews for years, and even apparently getting emotional support from his friends and family after the ordeal, even going as far as to ask celebrities to say “I liked what he did and I thought he was hilarious, and very handsome.”
What I’m saying is that I think that in the early days of content creation on Youtube the people making videos were more willing to appear on camera and embarrass themselves, like with Spoony screaming at a big gaming event on camera, because even though they were aware of Cancel Culture being a thing they weren’t going to be reduced to tears by someone saying “You’re totally cringe and annoying,” and even went as far as to incorporate those kinds of comments into their video because it was extremely easy content to create. You probably know what I’m talking about, where a creator would read out “This content creator is SOOOOOOO CRINGE,” in a video in a silly voice which you can’t really do as easily with “OMG, I love your content,” and make it entertaining.
That’s changed a lot today with content creators seeming to project an extreme amount of insecurity in every video they’re a part of, which gets even worse in formats like podcasts. It feels like every commentary creator is a chill dude that isn’t offended by anything and only wants to have a good time talking about things they like because, well, that’s what they need to be to avoid being criticized too severely, but they constantly allude to being a very immature and thin-skinned person that is mainly concerned about earning money, to the point where they’ll say “I’m not even having fun producing content at all.”
In college I remember one of my professors saying: “When you were high school kids you were insecure and weren’t confident in your abilities enough to volunteer when you were asked. You’re adults now, and when you graduate you can’t do that at a real job. Part of growing up is being confident in yourself, and if you don’t want to do that, you can always work in fast food where you never need to grow up, while the other adults in your friend group are becoming doctors and construction workers.”
It’s something that I realized with Youtubers which is that a decent amount of them started their careers young and never had to ‘grow up’ the way that my professor said that we needed to. Even with millions of subscribers you still see a lot of Youtubers struggle to commit to any statement they make, and I hear “I’m just a dumb Youtuber who doesn’t know anything and is stupid and socially-awkward and is fat and smells bad,” too many times from rich and successful people.
The thing is, when you’re a teenager, or you’re in your 20s, that insecurity is charming and relatable because you're trying to find a place in the world and discovering the role that you will fill in society. But, when you’re 30 and your role is “I tell people about the latest internet drama and make references to Spongebob,” or “I talk about Star Wars for hours at a time,” even if you make $2 million every day there’s likely a part of you that says: “I don’t like who I am. I don’t like what I do for a living. Yes, I’m rich, but I don’t like why I’m rich, and I don’t like my audience.”
I think that this insecurity leads to people trying to make their content more ‘mature’, but the way they do it isn’t by presenting themselves as a more confident person, or by making a clear separation between the personality in their content and their actual personality so that they can have a good work/life balance, it’s by creating the same content with very superficially mature elements. So, you end up with the video essayists of the past that gained fame by describing the events of a movie and then giving their opinion on whether they liked or disliked it doing the same thing but with quotes from smart people, like Socrates, and making conclusions like “Some people are gonna like this movie, some people are going to hate it. The important thing is that everyone involved with this movie tried really hard and had fun.”
The thing is, teenagers and 20-year-olds get value from a relatable person that comes across as an insecure loser who is too afraid to take a proper stance on anything to commit to a statement. When someone is actually mature they find more value in someone who is willing to do a good job and defend the job that they did, even if they’re like Neil Breen who thinks they did a good job but clearly did a terrible job. A 20-year-old might declare that Twin Perfect’s debate with EFAP wasn’t embarrassing because he was just being himself or something, but a 40-year-old might not tell Twin Perfect that the debate was embarrassing, but they would no longer respect him, and I imagine a lot of 40-year-olds don’t respect a lot of Youtube video essayists because of how eager they seem to be to engage in self-deprecation.
Conclusion
Despite everything that I’ve said, I do think that the content landscape on Youtube is generally ‘better’ than it was in, say, 2010. We weren’t getting a 4+ hour video by The Little Platoon about Rebel Moon, for instance, in 2010.
What I would compare modern Youtube and classic Youtube to is the 1970s movie scene vs. the 1980s movie scene, which Quentin Tarantino has labeled as “The worst period in movie history,” which the EFAP crew have pushed back on.
The thing is, in the early 80s we got Blade Runner, in the same way that nowadays we got the 4+ hour Little Platoon video, but the theatrical release of that film was famously sabotaged by the company that wanted Harrison Ford to provide voiceovers for the film that ‘ruined’ it, or at least, ruined the ending of the movie.
Throughout the 80s films were made which satisfied audiences more than films from the 70s did because Spielberg was producing hugely successful films that are still highly regarded, but there was also a bunch of shady practices going on and a bunch of notoriously poor studio decisions made in order to appeal to a wide demographic, such as the fiasco with Supergirl and Masters Of The Universe, or changing the ending of Brazil.
In the 1970s we not only got more challenging films, but there was also a thriving independent cinema scene that gave us Death Race 2000, Eraserhead, THX-1138, and Duel. There was also Jaws, Star Wars, and A Clockwork Orange, which were big-budget movies that took serious creative risks that paid off immensely which just wouldn’t happen in the 1980s, or would happen very rarely.
I think that I do prefer Youtube back in, say, 2015-2017 when it seemed like we generally got the best of both worlds, challenging content about a diverse range of subjects with production values comparable to what we have now.
To close this, I would like to include a paraphrased interaction I saw on a podcast featuring a pretty big Youtuber that I think illustrates why Youtube has changed in the way that it has.
Youtuber: Look, I don’t need to work as hard on my videos now because not every video needs to be an event. I just want to take it easy now, pump out a video whenever I feel like it, get paid by the sponsors, and then spend time with my family, is that so wrong?
Host: It kind of is. I know your audience of teenagers will be like “He just wants to spend time with his family, dude, have a heart,” but a lot of Youtubers, especially younger Youtubers look up to you for inspiration. If you’re in that position and your attitude is “I’m going to half-ass every video that I make from now on and if anyone calls my content lazy I’ll use my 8-year-old daughter as a shield against criticism,” that’s the attitude that a lot of young Youtubers are going to have. They’re going to half-ass their content and when criticized, they’re going to find their own excuse, like “I have a kid now,” or “I have to eat,” or something.
Youtuber: That’s not my fault, though. I never asked to be a role model.
Host: That’s not how that works. You don’t get to decide whether or not people look up to you, have expectations of you, and emulate your approach to content creation. You only release 2-3 videos a year, and with your status every video should be a major event, but instead every video is half-assed, as you admitted, and then you use your daughter as an excuse for why you don’t put as much effort into your content as you used to. I think you need to have someone in your life, like a friend, that actually makes you feel some shame for your content and encourages you to do better, rather than your social circle being composed of supportive people like your family and the people who pay you through Patreon.
Host 2: He did have that. He fired him two years ago, remember?
Host: Oh, yeah, you fired your friend, or made him quit, whatever the story was. Did that not make you feel bad at all?
Youtuber: Friendships end, that’s just life.
Host: That’s the attitude that I hate that comes across in your content. You can’t just brush aside everything and bumble through life, except if you’re an internet personality, apparently.
Host 2: It worked for the MCU.
Host: It’s not working for the MCU anymore, though, and it isn’t working as well for this Youtuber. It’s probably going to get worse and when he decides to do more work and make better videos, like he used to do, it’s probably going to be too late, or he’ll need to make really good videos to get the views he once did.
Youtuber: My videos are really good, though.
Host: You admitted to half-assing them.

I was the first person in my family to even think about attending university, let alone go to grad school. My family is working class. My mom is also an immigrant (although I now live in her country of origin). While supportive of my academic aspirations, she's never understood the reality of it.
My mom is convinced that getting a PhD means I will have endless job opportunities and views my future through unbelievably rose colored glasses. Although I appreciate the support and understand her inclination to view things positively, it's difficult to level with her about my actual odds of getting tenure. It's even more difficult to explain what tenure is and why I want it. When I talk about my frustrations and difficulties, I want her to commiserate with me, but she simply can't understand what's going on despite my attempts to explain. The conversation always turns to her misconceptions about how academia works. Aside from being frustrating for me, I also fear she is developing unrealistic expectations as to what my future holds.
Then there's also the fact that everyone in my family works hard to make ends meet in relatively physically-demanding jobs. My mom has been a factory worker my entire life. While I'm acutely aware of the differences in the types of labor we do, her experiences lead to a devaluation of my work. If I'm stressed, overworked, etc., the response is almost always that I should be grateful I'm not lugging around boxes and have access to opportunities she never did. And I am! But that doesn't mean my life is without problems. However, if we're putting difficulties on the scale, her side always wins out. Adding to this is that she simply can't conceive of what I actually do. When I talk to her about publishing a journal article or conducting ethnographic research abroad, the labor that goes into that isn't something she's able to wrap her head around. She stopped school at 16 and just doesn't have a sense of what academia is.
I do my best not to develop resentment, but it's very difficult not being able to level with her. It's also an absolute mindfuck to see my mega-wealthy peers (I've attended quite prestigious institutions) turn to their parents for advice on selecting courses, applying to fellowships, securing grants, polishing dissertations, etc. Not only do these peers have a practical resource at their proposal which I can't fathom having access to, but the people in their life understand.
How do you guys navigate these conversations and relationships? Have you just learned to accept the fact that things are the way they are? That's the point I'm getting to, but it feels like more and more of my life is something I can't talk to my mom about. She doesn't even know what I research! She doesn't know (or perhaps care) to ask and when I bring it up myself to try and include, she changes the topic (perhaps because she doesn't understand it entirely and/or is a bit insecure and embarrassed about our educational differences). And I really do put a lot of effort into communicating it in an accessible way. I thought I got over my whole first-gen imposter mess during my BA, but it's something I just can't shake.

My name is Luyan, I was born in April 1970, in the village of Qingtaipao, Jinzhou City, China. My father was an electrical technician in a nearby brick factory. Mom was a farmer.
One day in September 1971, A guest came to our home, whom my father called Old Brother Liu from Shenyang (1). Dad said to mom: “Troupe Leader Liu knows physiognomy, and I want him to have a look our Luyan." Mom was impatient. Dad added: "Troupe Leader Liu is not a stranger, you should be more enthusiastic! he said, ‘He should not have Luyan seen him, otherwise it won't work'.” Mom and Dad went out of the bedroom. The three of them were whispering in the kitchen. Troupe Leader Liu asked about my birth date.
https://preview.redd.it/pqfqha639v1d1.jpg?width=1528&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25c81882fd0189d4814c5f6975993f188cd287ec
Note 1, at this time, he was the deputy chief of the Northeast Military Region's Cultural Troupe, about 40 years old, a division officer. He is commonly referred to in this book as Troupe Leader Liu. Before and after this story, I couldn't hear his voice. He spoke in ancient Han; I heard what they were doing from my father's explanation to my mother.

2

Troupe Leader Liu said he wanted to see me and wrinkled the curtain between the kitchen and the bedroom. I didn't see him. Dad explained to mom what he said, "That wantonness he's sitting on, the high beam nose to forehead, is a monk's fate, no marriage life."
"What does that mean, no marriage? He can't get married for the rest of his life?" Mom asked.
After dad inquired with Troupe Leader Liu, explained to mom: "It is possible to get married, but the marriage is not happy or long-lasting."
Mom got upset after hearing that and came inside. My dad and Troupe Leader Liu were talking outside. After a while, Dad came into the bedroom and said to mom, "Why did you just leave!"
Mom replied: "He's godly! Who believes that nowadays."
Dad said: "People can see that, and you're not happy to hear it! He also told me that he was just speaking straight from his heart according to what the ancient books say, just directly speaking what he deemed truth. You shouldn’t be like that! If you don't believe, it's okay to just listen! You come out and talk together!"
Mom followed Dad out, asking as she walked: "What is it again?"
In the kitchen, Dad said to Mom: "Troupe Leader Liu said that his eldest daughter, Jianjun Liu (Eve Liu), is a sky fate (Goddess fate), gifted and smart, but also has a destined bad marriage life. He wants to betroth her to our Luyan; says the two are quite compatible. By tying them together as a pair, both of their bad marriage destinies will be broken."
Mom replied: "Look at his appearance! What can his daughter look like!"
Dad said: "That's just saying, his family is well off. Besides, his appearance is not good, his wife might be pretty!"
Mom said: "His family is doing well now. In this society, twenty years later, who knows what will happen!"
Dad said: "It's not good to refuse someone's offer. Besides, this is just a saying, in the future, the two children will become a couple or not, is the matter of the two of them. Now, we are trying to break Luyan’s bad marriage fate!"

3 Blindfolding

A little later, Dad and Troupe Leader Liu returned to the kitchen. Troupe Leader Liu said, "If I'm right, the boy will cry as soon as he sees me; however, he can only see me this one time."
Mom was in the back, and when she heard that, said, "There's that! Let's try it then! It won't hurt to see him once anyway."
They arranged the subsequent experiment in a whisper. Troupe Leader Liu added, “Then I'll blindfold him.”
Dad and mom both said they didn't understand.
Troupe Leader Liu said, “Oops! I just remembered that I can't let him see me again in the future!” After thinking for a while, he added, “It's okay! I'll arrange for someone to uncover the blindfold later.”
Mom said unhappily, "Why it doesn't matter!"
Dad smiled and said, "We don't understand, but if Troupe Leader Liu said it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter!"
At that time, I was sitting on the bed in the bedroom; a man came in and walked straight into the inner room. Soon I forgot about it. Suddenly, he came out and walked directly toward me face to face, his face bloodless and expressionless. My mind exploded at the sight, before I could react. He floated back to the center of the house floor, and quickly turned toward the kitchen and out. Frightened, I crawled desperately toward the southeast of the bed, howling!
https://preview.redd.it/pdjyyt889v1d1.jpg?width=2024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=163f3f013bc9ef146f5f8b8976698efdde776532
Note 3, this paragraph describes the first step of the “Flesh Eye Through”: He approached me quickly, and as I watched, I felt as if the camera lens were focusing quickly, and my head felt as if it were going to explode. The shock caused me to fall in “children neurodevelopmental disorder”. One symptom of this disorder is visual impairment, which the ancients said blindfolded the eyes. The process of Revelation is in section 2.8; chapter 3 discussed more about the process of making “Flesh Eye Through”. Illustrations 1-3, left, are of ancient Mexican origin and represent the third step of the Flesh Eye Through practice, which Huitzilopochtli is lecturing to his godson. Figure 2 shows Tlaloc, whose eyes, in author my own opinion, are the ancient Mexican description of "non-dazzle" feature of the eyes. Figure 3 is a bronze mask unearthed at Sanxingdui in China, in author my own opinion, that is a description of the eyes of the “Flesh Eye Through” as “touching eyes”, i.e., the person who sees it may have the feeling of "being touched”, "being electrocuted".

In the kitchen, mom was surprised and said: "Oops! Really crying! What to do!"
Dad said, "We agreed, you go in and comfort him!"
Mom ran into the house and shouted, "What's wrong? What's wrong?"
I crawled to the edge of the bed and hugged mom, crying. Dad also came in.
Mom said angrily, "He was scared! We were both away and suddenly he saw a stranger. Look! Oh! My God! His hairs are standing on end! He scared the kid!"
Dad said, "Troupe Leader Liu asked you to ask."
Mom asked, "What? Ah! What's wrong? Tell mom, what's going on?"
I just, “Woo, woo!” gesticulated and couldn't speak.
Mom muttered angrily, "Just scared! This can't even speak anymore!” Mom stroked my head, and continually said, “All right! Ok! Tell mom, what did you see?”
I replied, "Man! Woo! Woo!”, gesturing with my hands.
Mom said to me, "Ah! A man came in and then went out again. It's okay, your dad and I know about it!"

4 Marriage Contract is sealed.

Dad went to the kitchen, came back a while later, and said to mom, "Troupe Leader Liu went out and asked us to discuss the two children's affairs."
Mom said, "Like you said, it's not a big deal. How much does he want?"
https://preview.redd.it/6c0t36wc9v1d1.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=283bf64e30a17faa985b77f22065644d37549c29
Dad said, “He didn't say anything about money! It isn’t about money, is it?”
Mom said, "It's better to ask."
The three of them were talking in the kitchen. Troupe Leader Liu said, "Then the marriage is settled! There's no need for any money. This matter also concerns my girl! It's also my business, so I'll make the law (do the magic)."
Dad asked, "What should we do then?"
Troupe Leader Liu said, "I'll tell you later. While you were discussing this matter, I did something outside. Now, half of their Fates have been broken. The rest of the “Making Laws” (western similar words: to do magic) will be done outside somewhere in the future, might not in your house."
Dad said, "It's great that little Luyan will be able to get married in the future! Good Job! It’s all thanks to big brother's hard work!”

5 Vision Test

Some days later, my dad had just returned from work and was talking to my mom. The bedroom opening in my house is about 6.5 meters by 3.3 meters; however, I was surrounded by white fog and couldn't see them. Mom said: "Eve Liu gives gift to Luyan! Quickly let him have a look!”.
https://preview.redd.it/luq5sicg9v1d1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be6924f7c175eb6dcef80cd756888c002907a3f4
When I crawled very close to my dad, saw the two toys he brought back: a yellow plastic gyro and a red ornate stick with spots of various colors. As I recall now, at that time, I could see a place 0.5m away and 0.9m in diameter, surrounded by white fog (note 5, this is a symptom of children neurodevelopmental disorder). I could only see half the width of my dad's body, not my mom. It is now estimated that I can't be more than 1.4m away from mom.
Mom said to Dad, "Looks like the kid has an eye problem! Getting down that close to see!"

6 Eve Liu

Another day, I was sitting on the bed in our bedroom, and my father said to my mother with a smile, “The other guy, that who, went to Shenyang and saw the Troupe Leader Liu. His family is doing well. I even asked him about his big girl (i.e., Eve Liu). How old is she!? She runs around, is not afraid of strangers, talks to people when she sees them, recites poems, sings songs, and can-do arithmetic within 100.”
Mom replied, “You still remember! She goes to a daycare center or kindergarten! I've heard that's where people are taught. What does that kid look like?”
Dad replied, "That I didn't ask."
Mom laughed and said, “You hid it from me!" Turning to me and said, "This little man, has a wife in the big city. In the future, after we go to school, we'll study hard and be better than her, we look down her! We're not going to climb up that high branch!”
Dad said, “Why don't you know? I couldn't ask. All he said was that the little girl was so smart, not afraid of strangers, and ran around the front and back yards. Such a little girl! Who can say she looks ugly!?”
Mom went into the inner room and stopped talking. At that time, I really wanted to listen. Mom noticed and said to Dad, “Little Luyan probably understands this! As soon as we talked Eve Liu, he stared and concentrated, listening very carefully!"
It seems that by this time, my eyesight had returned to near normal.
The End

Am not here to support the current government or any other government. And honestly speaking idk much about employment rates and how that really works.
So basically I want to ask people that when you haven't studied in any semester of your college, you were passing exams with 0 knowledge, then why are you crying now for low paying jobs?
Ok let me clarify my statement first through an example:
Am using my own name in example. So khushi was a very dull student. She never paid attention to the lectures in school. She got 70-75% in 12th standard by rote learning and cheating in exams.
Due to caste based admission (obc/sc/st) she got admission in a college of a reputed university. And Because she never paid attention to her school lectures her basic knowledge is incomplete now. She is facing difficulties in her higher studies. And due to that she isn't paying attention to her college lectures as well.
All she is doing is sleeping in her hostel room watching movies, series etc. Now it's the semester exam, again she is just rote learning and cheating in her exams to get passing marks only. She also thinks like the most of the students "academic knowledge doesn't matter" also "what matters the most is experience and practical knowledge". But she got none of them. It's the last year of college life and companies are here to hire students. Due to zero knowledge khushi got no job. She is blaming the education system now. She is blaming her college by putting a tag of 'shittiest placements'. She knows that she have 0 knowledge about the subjects she passed by cheating. But she wasn't aware that she can't cheat in an interview. Now khushi is working as a credit card seller or accountant for 10-15k a month. Now khushi is blaming government for low salary and low employment rates.
Now my question is, was the government really responsible for it?
In today's world many people are living in this same situation. My senior who was boasting about 14 backlogs in semester exams is crying because there are no jobs for her. She used to be like one of those 'CoOl sTudEnts' who believes in only clubbing and spending money pver silly things which are considered as cool kids things nowadays. And whom she is blaming now? The government. The education system. And yea her parents.
I saw a reel where ashneer grover answered a question asked by a student that "Is the knowledge we are gaining in college life really matters?" To which he answered that "This generation is the most stupid generation who thinks that only they themselves are the most logical people nowadays. For them teachers are fools, universities are fools, their own parents are fools. He also said that if you aren't attending lecture but you are somewhere doing something better than the lecture then it's a good thing for you. But if you are just sleeping in your hostel rooms, binge watching a series at the time of studying then you are the one who is fool here.
This was the most logical and simple answer i have ever heard. People will blame everyone and everything but not themselves, not their own doings. People with full knowledge are getting jobs. They are getting everything for which they worked hard in their school and college days when you were just clubbing and wasting your money over cigarettes and alcohol. When you were looking for casual dates amd hook-ups those people were keeping a check on their exam dates.
My brother (not writing the name or college's name for privacy) topped in his college and got 50+ LPA package from a well reputed company. His current salary is 4.5 lakhs per month. He is living his dream life. And all because of the hard work and time he putted in his studies (and yeah surprisingly not because of his luck.)
The whole purpose of this rant was to make y'all aware that unless you aren't working hard you shouldn't yapp about not having a dream job or dream life you kept dreaming of. Thanks. Have a happy and healthy life. And start studying MFs <3

(Throwaway account for reasons)
I (19M) just finished my Freshman Year at UMASS Amherst, and I came to the conclusion that it was a mistake. I feel like I already barely made it out of high school with my badly slipping grades near the end, and going right into college from there was a wreck on me. Work-wise, it felt like HS, which I was exhausted from, but harder and more of a hassle. I lost any interest in my major and i couldn't fathom learning anything more about it, let alone doing it for another 40 years as a career. I wasn't even doing anything with all the opportunities given, not joining clubs, making friends, going to parties, having sex, or anything. I enjoyed the freedom from my parents (51F) and (54M), but I still regretted my time and didn't want to go back.
I have at least some plan for what I can do instead. I plan to just live at home and work full-time, and I have reasonable expectations and flexibility for what I can do. I'll pay rent and help my parents with anything they need, but ultimately plan to make enough money/career prospects to move out and live on my own. I honestly want to get more job training and focus in on a specific field to work at for the rest of my life, and I do have interests in things that pay well and I could be happy doing. I'm also willing to consider military careers, which could help with money and housing and whatnot, and I've talked with a recruiter before. I really just want to give my parents as much say in this as possible for their sake.
However, this really is one of the hardest things I've had to tell them, if I even can. No one else knows about my decision except my previous college roommate, who I know well enough and I wanted to tell at least someone, and he just said to tell my parents as soon as I can. Both my parents work in education, my mom as a high school teacher and my dad at a university that's related to the university that I attended. They both have clear views on higher education, and basically see it as a given to any good life, and other jobs and lifestyles hold no merit. They both have high expectations for me and my siblings, my twin sister, and my brother(21M) who are also in college. My sister is majorly successful in academics (got into university on a full ride, getting teaching assistant positions, taking honors classes) and is a major overachiever that my parents adore. My brother is going to be a senior, and my parents are constantly pressuring us to do more and more electives, summer classes, internships , ect, all for more job opportunities in these highly academic fields.
I wanted to give it a week or so after coming back before I told them, but they're already trying to get me to sign up for summer classes and internships, so I have to tell them now or soon before I get involved in that. But even with this deadline, it's so hard for me to sit them down and come out with this. I keep going over the conversation in my head, and I can't imagine what they say, and it terrifies me. I know that they love me and I love them, and they say they will accept me for who I am, but this feels like the one exception that they just won't accept. My parents already spent a lot of money on my tuition and I don't want them to spend anymore, They might tell me to just take a semester off or just attend online, but I can't imagine myself doing those either, and just want to cut myself off from college completely. They also don't know about my horrible exam and final grades, and I'm worried that when they see them, they'll just say I'm lazy and unmotivated and force me under a more rigorous schedule.
I just needed to get this off my chest to someone, because this is the only thing I can do at this point. I hope to be able to tell them in the next three days.

I feel like i’ve really been thrust into the deep end immediately. I don’t really even know where to start but i think context is Import so i’ll begin with that:
My family are socially and emotionally “tolerant” but financially supportive. They more or less refuse to call me my chosen name or refer to me as he but fund my transition and idly allow me to do whatever i need to do. I’m grateful for what I have but it doesn’t help in how alone I feel in pursuing it. I don’t have any trans friends medically transitioning at this moment either so there’s nobody to actually discuss this with in depth besides some offhand complaints i make to certain close cis friends.
I’m in the UK so I’m in private care for HRT + surgeries (fucking extortionate) and the onus is completely on me to align every single appointment appropriately with 3 different providers who are all seemingly being as obtuse as possible. I just turned 18 earlier this year and started on T almost immediately, I had 3 appointments with a private gender clinic in another city prior to starting HRT and am expected to see this clinic every 3 months for checkups + prescriptions which is standard enough. My NHS GP however refused shared care and are now refusing to do bloodtests after initially being willing to cooperate on that front. Even then i ended up missing the 3 month window between my first checkup with the gender clinic to have my bloodtest results ready because my NHS GP only does appointments on the day and I have to spend hours in the morning on hold which is annoying at best and exhausting at worst.
As soon as I started T I looked into top surgery surgeons as I want to have that out of the way as soon as possible and ideally I’d have it done before starting uni in September. Fortunately I did book a date in July so I’ll be able to have a lot of the rudimentary aftercare out of the way before uni as well but the surgeon is on the other side of the country (400 miles away) so I’m having to fly down.
For my consultation I took an 8 hour train and stayed with a friend who lives in the same city as the practice which was a massive help but i realised it would be a dogshit idea to stick myself in a shitey train for 8 hours after major surgery in the summer heat so i opted for the 1 hour plane trip but that comes with its own issues. I wanted to wait until i had my deed poll done to actually decide to get my ID but again im realising that I’m probably just going to have to get an ID as soon as possible for the flight and tank it having my deadname etc. It isn’t the end of the world but on top of everything else it feels like another massive pain in the arse.
Another issue was my gender clinic didn’t inform me they wanted me to have an appointment specifically for a top surgery referral. I understood that they’d want that if I was going through them to find a surgeon but because I did the research on my own I thought they’d be happy to just write it. This means that i’m having the referral appointment a week before i travel for surgery which I’m trying to force to the back of my mind because I know it’s something that i can’t control anymore but it just feels like more mounting stress.
There are many more smaller issues such as the the gender clinic where I’m receiving my HRT being 2 hours away but I think my main problem is just how isolating the experience is. Nobody around me understands how frustrating it is to stitch together all these different appointments in a way that aligns reasonably but at the same time i dont feel like i have any right to complain. I’m getting treatment at an ideal point while most other young trans people in the UK are being shafted and i’ve been out of school/work for a year at this point.
I just don’t know what to make of it. I’m juggling all this shit but I also feel completely stunted and behind people my age but hopefully that issue will resolve itself once I’m in uni and am at least a bit stealth. I think as well now that I’m on T and know i’m 2 months away from this surgery I’ve desperately wanted since i was 11 my resolve is starting to wear thin and I just want to live as a normal guy who can go to the gym comfortably or just fucking leave the house without stressing about how my chest is sitting etc.
Thanks for reading, sorry if this comes off as needless whinging. Any advice or anecdotes would be nice to hear at least

Hello, I am in search of some career guidance. I am desperate, so any advice is helpful!
A little background information: I am a 27-year-old female who just recently graduated with a bachelor's degree in Biology (Pre-Vet) with a 3.95 GPA. I have an associates in veterinary technology and have worked as a veterinary technician for almost eight years now. My ultimate goal since kindergarten was to be a veterinarian. I applied for the second time this past September for the 2024 veterinary medical application cycle to three schools and was not accepted. However, I do not count my first application since I was not even close to finishing my Bachelor's degree. I have spoken with numerous veterinarians from a variety of states all of which give me a similar answer of "I would not recommend vet school, I would choose a different profession if I could go back." Their advice isn't to say I could not do it, they all agree I am highly capable. They more so try to express the harsh realities of veterinary medical school/veterinary career. I understand some of their advice when they express the amount of school, debt to income ratio, and the bad work-life balance. Furthermore, many of them have expressed about me going into nursing instead and becoming an aesthetic nurse (I am very into skincare and beauty). In addition, I live with my parents currently, but I really want to be independent and move out of state.
So, here is my dilemma...
I am 27 years old and am eager to get my professional career started. I do not want to wait a year to find out if or if I did not get into veterinary medical school. There is Ross University which I could apply three times a year instead of once a year like in-state schools. Also, Ross is only a three-year program. However, the debt from Ross is so excessive that it is hard to fathom putting myself through that much debt for the rest of my life all just so I could get in and done quicker. On the other hand, there is nursing. My hometown university offers an accelerated program for students who already have a bachelors degree. The program is 18 months long. I could start my professional career sooner and have a better debt-to-income ratio. Thus, I could be independent faster. Nursing school would be difficult and I would have to go through the program without anything to do with aesthetics. I understand I would need to get certified in injecting after the N-CLEX. My younger sister is becoming a nurse currently, so I have a great teacher. I am also not really interested in completing a master's degree since I do not want to do another two years of schooling when I could just do nursing instead. I’m also considering that pursuing my dream of becoming a vet may not be financially responsible. I'm struggling with the negative advice about vet school and the daunting debt numbers. I'm seeking unbiased advice to figure out the best option for me. Hearing others' stories and advice on starting these career paths would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Google showed me the movie title when I searched "flay me." I think it is romantic enough to describe what I feel now and sometimes.
IDK if you know it, but that's how I feel when I encounter your letters or expressions. Silently and swiftly, you attack my left shoulder (always left) vertically with your claws like a bear. It's so shocking that I usually stop my breath, almost choked instantly. I look at the wound, then you. Your eyes are also on my exposed bloody muscles, soft tissues, and tendons for a while, waiting. Then you indifferently move away silently as if you attacked a wrong prey.
I don't feel pain when my skin is peeled in this vision. It feels like being in a vacuum. As you expect, I don't hate it. After you leave, the wound is gone and recovered as if nothing happened. Something did, though. Sooner or later you come back to do the same again and again.
It's interesting since you basically talk about yourself, not even trying to analyze me, when my flesh is flayed off my body. It's not an anatomy attempt.
It's different from the attack years ago when you screamed at me, pushing me into the corner. Maybe you just tried to make yourself understood or your anger heard, but I cried hard and trembled out of fear. We didn't get along, but I wasn't quite sure or tried to refuse what made you so mad.
I think (or hope?) you are the one that tells the truth to others by being yourself. Your thoughts and actions may look selfish and subjective. But no. Your selfish seeking will be universal. People will find themselves in your most inner self. I can't do that, but you can in a comfortable way. That's your gift and our difference.
Maybe that's why you don't want me to anatomize you. It will be just a pain with less gain. I need learn to put myself in it as well, if I want to try.
Recently the different you appear after the "attack." Either too cheerful or too depressed puts ointment to fade my scar. The former sings happy songs, the latter makes dark reflective speeches. I'm happy with your presence on the earth. But I also can't help wonder what will happen or I will see if you make another attack before the wound vanishes.
S.

I've suffered over a year and a half of progress being undone in the wake of this relapse & in my experience both before and after recovery, one of the most vicious and difficult parts of this ED is the inherent gaslight of just how invisible the very nature of this fkn ED.
Now before anyone jumps on me about the rules, I'm not comparing or invalidating other ED's. I'm ranting on my own experiences from my personal perspective on my individual struggles from two opposing ED's. I apologize if any statements come across as inflammatory, I just want to make this clear bc even tho ik no one is likely to give this the time of day I'm only seeking an outlet for my pain, and in case anyone does scroll past this, I want this context so nothing I say risks being received in a damaging way.
I was in a medical magnet program throughout the entirety of high school + summer courses and despite all the classes, units, lessons, and a whole year of school - all focused specifically on health, diet, and nutrition - it took me YEARS and a stroke of blind luck and chance to stumble across something & then later realize not only did non restrictive ED's exist but I myself had one.
I was failed by my education AND my doctors bc even though I was far from healthy and overweight, restriction was the only concern anyone ever had - & likely only as a precaution bc my medication has a known side affect suppressing appetite.
And despite all the results I could pull up with a Google search, I've only ever experienced Binge ED as feeling invisible, dismissed, and invalidated.
I distinctly remember breaking down in frustration over discovering that nothing relating to binge ED would trigger the same content warning/concern pop ups on different platforms that tags and keywords pertaining to restriction & other EDs/mental health struggles are flagged by.
I'd grown so bitter and resentful bc the experiences I had just seem to compound this feeling that my struggle and pain was only ever seen, validated, cared about, etc if it fit some pre-constructed narrative. Like even tho it existed, it wasn't acknowledged or important enough to be on anyone's radar like other issues are. Dealing with an ED sucks, but an ED so seemingly forgotten and dismissed felt like rubbing salt in a wound the world gaslight you about and does it so well you feel like can't even be upset you're being gaslit.
It took me two years to overcome my ED, and I still felt a flicker of resentment when my history in my relationship with food couldn't be avoided bc where before I'd be met with platitudes about body positivity, at a smaller size people would immediately jump to conclusions about the nature of my past struggle with food.
And don't get me started on boundary pushing even after point of recovery. Holidays, celebrations, special occasions. No one tells a recovered alcoholic "oh treat yourself, you can afford it, it's just one glass." And it seems the smaller you are, the more conscious everyone else is about your boundaries with food & more easy it is to disregard your comfort. And like the social awareness of restrictive disorders makes people feel more comfortable in encouraging you to indulge and cross that boundary, especially in cases where you're confronted with someone who weaponizes "body positivity" as a vehicle for their own toxicity.
Being in a smaller body when struggling with a relapse just inflames these sensitivities to an exponential magnitude and I'm now dealing with the vicious whiplash of not just my ED, but the old wounds from before my recovery, the pressures after recovering, and now being met with assumptions trying to seek support and dismissal if I try to get ahead of the assumptions when I just want to reach out and feel seen.
I slipped up some thanks to boundary pushing over the holidays, but it's my medication that tipped me over into a full blown relapse and despite raising concerns with my doctor, seeing my weight increase steadily over time with episodes becoming more and more frequent, my concern has been brushed aside and I've now been left with the devastating impact of facing a year and a half of recovery undone and stuck taking a medication that is triggering my ED and an overall feeling of suffering for things entirely out of my control.
It took years finding what meds worked for me, and unfortunately mine carry a stigma and have a well known side effect of suppressing appetite. There's also a nationwide shortage and each prescription that gets filled feels weaker and weaker. Prior to my recovery, I was quite sedentary and while I've finally gotten to a place where I'm invested in my quality of life and am thriving pursuing a demanding lifestyle that's kept me active and engaged in my day to day, managing my disability requires a higher threshold than my current dose can meet and while my prior dose was most effective and is one I had for years, it's higher than standard and my doctors are reluctant to help me.
So I face having to overcome the stigma my meds carry, trying to build trust with my medical providers to gain back the Healthcare I lost to depression (& losing my Prior insurance/coverage - too $$$), am working gradually towards increasing my dose amidst a shortage where others with my disability are universally reporting weakened-totally ineffective prescription, and because my meds were adjusted (increased for one, decreased proportionally for the other) my doctor dismissed my concerns citing the lowered dose when I stated my new meds trigger my appetite even tho I could have eaten and be full shortly before they take effect.
I can't stop these meds but keeping them makes me feel insatiable and is inflaming binge episodes but it's effect on my appetite is dismissed as a change of dose and if not being able to manage my disability well enough with this lower dose isn't enough to advocate for my meds, raising a weight concern with a medication that is reputed to be an appetite suppressant is going to work against me even more.
The end result has me now at the point of calling out of work on bad days to spare the mental distress of having to tie an apron around my waist and be a constant trigger the entirety of my shift, and feeling like my only options are to choose between managing my disability or my ED -
All because no one takes binge eating seriously and so stubbornly clings onto the societal view of restrictive disorders as the default and if you're small your struggles with eating aren't valid outside those parameters.
I just want to pursue health, happiness, and mental & physical wellness and not let my disability or disorders be a barrier to my pursuit in sustaining quality of life.
I've never felt so powerless, unseen, or alone.

I very rarely have lucid dreams, but the ones I have tend to stick with me. I still remember one of my first I had around the time I was in middle school. I was taking a nap in the living room, and at some point, the dream became lucid. Instead of simply continuing on with the dream, I instead found myself in a circular room with a plethora of doors of all colors. In usual dream fashion, I seemed to innately know I was inside my own mind, each door leading to another possible dream.
The lucidity of the dream all but wore off as I embarked on an adventure exploring the depths of my own mind. All in all, it would've been a good dream. Unfortunately it all came to an abrupt halt as suddenly all the doors swung open at once, and the dream doors now all led to a single, impossible room and at it's center was a black hole straight out of science fiction, consuming everything as it made an extremely loud grinding noise that felt like someone taking a jackhammer to my skull.
I immediately woke up, sleep paralysis taking a firm hold of me, the light of the afternoon sun doing absolutely nothing to ease my panic and terror. Eventually. It subsided and the fear gave way to the understanding that I had just experienced something terrifying, but ultimately harmless. I didn't know at the time, but this was my first hint something wasn't right.
The next lucid dream I had (at least the one I remember) started a bit silly. I had read somewhere that, in a lucid dream, you should NEVER look in a mirror (something about your brain exaggerating your own self image causing your reflection to look imperfect and uncanny) Unfortunately my excited curiosity got the better of me and that was the first thing I did. What I saw made me laugh, thinking that knowing how fucked up my face was gonna look was going to keep me from being scared.
For the first few moments, it did. I couldn't Help but laugh at the exaggerated proportions of my own face, how my eyes were so tiny and my cheekbones were impossibly stretched. This is where things get difficult to describe in words. You know how when you face two mirrors together, how they reflect each other infinitely? It was like that, only I was the mirror… looking at the mirror… looking back at me. As I said, it's hard to put it in words but what I saw shook me to my core. The overwhelming sensation that was seeing something not meant for me. That my own bug eyed reflection had simply been a warning that I gleefully sped right past.
Once again I awoke and promptly filed what I had just experienced into “damn dreams are WEIRD” and for a while, things were normal again. Standard affair of “suddenly naked in places I'd rather not be naked” or “Suddenly having to go back to high school in my 30s” or the long running classic “I'm still in the navy and back on a ship”
That was until the third lucid dream. Like the others, everything was normal until I was walking down a sidewalk and suddenly, I inexplicably started crying. That's when two women rushed over to me and tried to help, but suddenly I was lucid. With lucidity also came the gravity of the situation. Here was two kind strangers I had created, given life and empathy to, that would simply cease to exist once I woke up. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I kept repeating to them, bawling my eyes out.
That's when I heard the voice.
“Something wrong, my little shepherd?”
It came from the back of my skull not masculine or feminine, not high or low pitched, it simply was.
“Who’s speaking to me?”
“We’ve met twice before. You’ve seen my mouth and have looked into my eyes. You tend your flock as you slumber and I consume them when you wake. A beautiful symbiosis beyond the veil of your reality. Awaken now my shepherd and I will sate my appetite. “
I no longer want to lucid dream

I feel like an idiot for posting this on Reddit but I don't really feel comfortable venting about this with friends, so here we are!
(21F) It's been two years since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. It was a really healthy relationship and we remain really close friends, it just didn't make sense to me to keep up with it anymore.
Well, I'm a 21 year old girl, and since that breakup my social life hasn't been all that interesting really. I'm a 4th year law student and college ended up being not all that exciting, and even tough I've got to meet my amazing group of friends, I didn't really relate to anyone else. Therefore, this time when you're supposed to meet lots of people and broaden your horizons ended up stagnating a bit for me.
I consider myself an easy going person, I've never in my life find it hard to make friends or getting to know people. It's just that I haven't got many chances to. I spend most my time with my friends I already know or end up meeting people at parties who I don't talk to ever again, and being still in college doesn't give me much time for new activities. Romantic-wise, I've never been the type that cares too much (or even at all) to be in a relationship, and I never really liked the idea of having to chase anything. I thrive on my own most of the time, and whatever happens, happens. But like anyone else, I sometimes miss the occasional flirt and whatever comes with it haha. Intimacy in geral, or just having fun. More than the horny!!!! aspect of it, I really do miss getting to make friends and talk to somebody new.
Well, as I've stated before, I think I'm really easy to talk to, overall funny and outgoing. Charming in a good day, perhaps haha. About my looks, well I wouldn't say I'm stunning but I'm not very insecure, or at least I don't let it get to my head very often. Maybe not the type you'd give a second look or flirt on the subway - unless I'm reading some cool book or something haha - but maybe buy me a drink in the night if we're having a good time lol. I'm usually very friendly with anyone I meet so I don't even know how people make the jump to flirtation these days...
Back to the dating apps: as we've seen here, I'm stagnant. Not even my social media does wonders for me anymore since I've had the stupid idea of soft blocking almost everyone when I've gotten out of high school (so real to be fair), so most of my followers are people I actually know or work with today. There's always a random guy out of nowhere but you know, no one interesting enough !!
That being said, should I overcome my fear of dating apps? I'm NOT gonna lie to you, to this very day I've always been a bit prejudiced about it. Not judgemental of people who use them at all, I just never thought I'd be into it because I don't think that's the coolest way to say I've met a significant other haha. I mean, my future boyfriend can be using a dating app right now, but he surely won't find me in one. At least that's how I like to put it.
Still, I'm reluctant. My brain tells me not to do it, but at the same time my heart is telling me to do so for the plot. I really hate the idea of having to create a profile that appeals to anyone, plus the dynamic of maybe not finding matches???? I don't have many self esteem issues but idk how that would affect me in the long run. Plus, maybe this might sound wrong, but given the fact that I study law people on my field of study expect some odd seriousness of their employees, and as common as they are there's still many preconceptions about dating apps within these firms. I mean, I already hold the weight of my digital footprint being goofy on twitter haha
WELL I don't know what to expect of this! But it's my first post on Reddit so there's that! I ended up writing a lot more than I intended so feel free to engage and talk to me. Or even to call me an idiot. It's late in the night in here and I feel like oversharing SO there's that freedom of opinating about strangers lives on the internet lol
Anyway thanks in advance, and I apologize for any mistake since english ain't my first language!

AGI Defined
An autonomous assistant that solves tasks you give it as well as or better than a human would. It has the reasoning, agency, learning capability, and ability to use tools like a human.
How AGI Solves Tasks
Problem Definition and Understanding:
Start by understanding the problem, desired outcomes, and constraints.
Planning:
Formulate a detailed plan outlining steps and strategies to address the problem.
Knowledge Acquisition:
Gather relevant information from its database, the internet, and through its own experiments.
Data Collection and Analysis:
Collect, clean, and analyze data to extract useful insights.
Reasoning and Planning:
Plan by simulating different strategies and evaluating their feasibility.
Creative Generation of Solutions:
Create innovative solutions by combining and extrapolating ideas.
Evaluation and Selection:
Evaluate solutions based on criteria like effectiveness and ethics.
Decision-Making:
Decide on the best solution by weighing pros and cons.
Implementation and Execution:
Implement the chosen solution with an action plan.
Iterative Feedback and Learning:
Adjust approach based on feedback during implementation.
Continuous Improvement:
Learn from experiences to improve problem-solving over time.
How Agi Is Smarter Than Humans In Discovering and Implementing New Knowledge
Enhanced Memory:
Have an extensive and perfect memory, allowing it to recall and use vast amounts of information instantly.
Processing Speed:
Analyze vast amounts of data and complex problems much faster than humans.
Integration:
Integrate information from diverse sources and disciplines more effectively, generating novel insights.
Pattern Recognition:
Detect subtle patterns and anomalies in data that humans might overlook.
Deep Learning:
Understand and learn from complex datasets, making connections and insights that are difficult for humans to grasp.
Hypothesis Generation:
Systematically generate and evaluate a vast number of hypotheses, including unconventional ones humans might not consider.
Simulations:
Run countless simulations of theoretical models quickly to test their validity.
Unbiased Exploration:
Explore hypotheses without cognitive biases that might influence human researchers.
Logical Consistency:
Maintain higher levels of logical consistency in reasoning, avoiding common cognitive fallacies and errors.
Advanced Problem-Solving:
Solve complex problems more effectively by using advanced algorithms and heuristic methods beyond human capability.
Feedback Loop:
Rapidly iterate and refine models based on new data, accelerating the cycle of discovery.
Innovative Thinking:
Generate truly novel ideas and solutions that go beyond conventional human thinking.
Continuous Operation:
Work continuously without breaks, accelerating the research process.
Innovations Needed For AGI
Hardware:
Better chips
Data centers
Energy production
Software:
Agents perform multi-step tasks and know what to do next for the task to be done without being asked to.
Self operating computer
Having every workflow application have the AI be able to use the tools rather than just give advice based on what it sees on the device and hears from the user.
Spoken Timelines: I didn't add links but you could just search what I said on Google.
Dan Schulman (former PayPal CEO): GPT-5 will be a freak out moment. 80% of the jobs out there will be reduced 80% in scope.
Sam Altman thinks GPT-4.5 will automate 100 million jobs globally.
In 2023, Sam Altman said he predicts job losses will begin in 2-3 years.
Sam Altman's AI Capabilities Projection:

• Multi-Modality: Somewhat with GPT 4o. Still needs an everything to everything model.
• Reasoning: Q-star, chain of thought, search tree. I’m sure more will come.
• Personalization: Most likely having the AI be trained on all your personal data by having it control your devices. (Bill Gates Interview)
• Reliability: Sam said that this is when the AI can always give you the best response. He remarks that if GPT-4 gives a good response 1 out of every 10k times, then he wants to ensure that one good response is given every time. (Bill Gates Interview)
• Agents: API calls with other apps. Ability to use tools in different applications.

AI that controls your computer is coming soon
Sam Altman said GPT 4 is really dumb. So he knows the next model is actually way better.
OpenAI is likely two years ahead of everyone.
OpenAI COO: Brad Lightcap

• We’ll get a major upgrade by May 2025 (Based on May 2024). Today’s systems are laughably bad.
• Models are capable of complex "work."
• OpenAI already has a desktop app with a conversational voice and can comprehend what’s on your screen. So they can be like your teammate.

Every company’s workflow would be reengineered by May 2026. Nvidia, Dell Are Building Their Own AI 'Factories' (Based on May 2024)
Project Stargate: Nuclear fusion to power the $100 billion data center to be released in 2028. This is likely for scaling for smarter models, make AI faster, cheaper, or getting it to as many hands as possible.
Many leaders in AI give AGI release dates between 2025-2030. Most people that think AI won't take jobs are thinking of todays tech for the future. They don't consider how AGI would be like for AI to take jobs. Like the required technology and how those innovations could be achieved. People don't consider how embodied humanoid robots with AGI could also eliminate many jobs. People think trade jobs are safe. NVIDIA's project groot is training robots in simulation. Who's to say that the robots can't learn to do all tasks. Maybe not in a year, but five years is a lot of progress with the rate AI is advancing. Even if we don't have AGI now, AI will be replacing jobs. If one person can use AI to do the work of one team, then those people who would have been on a team would be laid off. Especially when Agents roll around in 1-2 years.
Sometimes it really worries me about the people who go to college to get a high paying jobs, especially first gen college students from immigrant families. Imagine working hard for the dream of getting a high paying job only to be automated in six years. What happens to their drive? All their hard work for what? Sold a long gone dream and had the carpet pulled under them. In my opinion, even jobs like doctors could be automated if humanoid robots had embodied AGI. Sure it might not be wanted at first, but it has the potential too.
My Thoughts on AGI
AGI would just be the accumulation of all the different innovations needed to reach the requirements needed to meet the definition of what AGI is. Realistically, engineers could do this within six years. So even though I have a general idea of how AGI could be achieved by the end of the decade, I would just have to wait and see when these innovations are created.
Post Labor Info
Most people work to gain money because money is needed to survive and buy things that you want. The purpose of school is to provide people with a pathway to secure a high-paying job. When students say they work hard in school to be successful, it often means they want to get a high-paying career.
But if AI were to start taking over jobs, then our relationship with work would change. There would be mass unemployment, leading people to receive UBI. The government would be forced to give UBI unless they want societal collapse. No one would need to work to have money for survival and buying the things they want.
If everyone had free money, people would use the extra time on bettering their personal lives. They can spend more time with loved ones and do the things they want to do. There would be a paradigm shift in how society is set up. People wouldn’t have to work so hard at school or a job in the pursuit of money. A lot of people don’t like working anyway, especially since the cost of living is causing them to work harder and subsequently deal with mental health issues. Look at Gen Z doesn't want to work, antiwork, wage slavery, 9-5 rat race. Cost of living being unaffordable. People work so hard but can not get by. Hard work is not properly financially compensated and college grads can't find jobs. Meaning from work could be derived from work you want to do not work you do for a paycheck. Look at David Shapiro's YouTube channel for more info on Post-Labor and Post-AGI videos.
It would be better for the next generation of people born in this post-labor world. Nasa researchers found that 98% of 5-year-old children fell into the “genius category of imagination.” This number dropped to 12% for 15-year-olds and to 2% for adults. The reason for this drop is the education system killing creativity. But with the traditional education system gone, that generation is likely to remain geniuses.

Hello everyone, I am a professor at the University of Waterloo.
I wanted to come on here and share some insight with you guys regarding the admissions for the Fall 2024 cycle. I understand a lot of you got rejected and/or deferred to another program (e.g. Geomatics.) and I feel so sorry for all of you. The main point I would like to make here is: that you need to *STOP* blaming our school and our admission officers solely because YOU couldn't fulfil the requirements ~clearly outlined in each program website~. As a professor within this institution for about 9 (almost 10 years...), trust me, you guys will change nothing by ranting about it on some high schoolers subreddit, and it just sounds like whining. I am sick of people slandering the University of Waterloo, and I truly find this so disgusting. Perhaps, your attitude was a part of the reason for your rejection or deferral. :)
I have a daughter who is in Grade 12, just like you guys! and she was accepted everywhere. I am so proud of her. She is LIVING PROOF that if you just put in the work and stay focused, you WILL achieve your goals. Instead of blaming our officers for *your* rejection, blame yourself instead. And trust me, I know this sounds harsh but it's the reality. It's your fault, and I hope you guys from now on speak **respectfully** only, and not in a way that slanders hardworking people like the admission officers and myself. We have worked hard to get to where we are, and we know that rejection sucks ... BUT THAT'S LIFE. You get rejected and move on. For example: you get deferred to Geomatics? It was likely for the best, and it's very possible that you would not have succeeded in Computer Science, it's better than a rejection. Be grateful.
Please just be respectful, it breaks my heart to see all of you not getting into your dream schools/programs, but it will all work out. :)
Keep calm and carry on.

Hello! For context, I am new to Reddit and don’t know if I am posting this in the right place. I am a 25f who is at her wit’s end with no direction because of everything that has happened to me in this past year (2024). Ever since I was a teenager I have been a hard worker - working retail, restaurant, and even at schools (sometimes two or three jobs at once) in order to save up enough money to move out of my parent’s house - because I genuinely needed OUT due to all the household pressures being put on me as the oldest of 7 siblings. At 23, I was finally able to accomplish my goal and found a teeny apartment about an hour and a half away in a decent town and I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, I was paying off student loans from my Associates degree as well as Culinary degree because my parents refused to file FAFSA and since I was a dependent, I got zero money from them (which I never expected or asked for anyways) or from the government to help me through school. If I’m being frank, it’s been really rough since I moved out. Luckily I have a very supportive partner (we don’t live together) who also reminds me that I was not okay, mentally nor physically, while living with my family and sometimes we have to choose the lesser “evil” or in this case if I prefer being mentally stable over somewhat financially stable. Within the past year my health, however, has gone unexpectedly downhill. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times since February and was even sent into Medical Leave from my full time job since I could not physically work anymore. I can’t drive, have developed extreme anxiety and PTSD due to my health (towards food, my life changing drastically from being very active to not even being able to stand up quickly or jog from one side of the house to another), and have been diagnosed with many things from countless doctors. My chronic illnesses have left me completely helpless. And I now have more worries and stress than I have ever had before. I just found out this semester that my Pell Grant for Summer 2024 won’t pay my full summer tuition after it had paid for my last two semesters in order for me to finish my Bachelors, I just got a ton of ER bills in the mail as well as from my Cardiologist, Gastro, Rheumatologist, and Neurologist from all the tests they have been and still are running on me, and I still have two more tests scheduled next month and July that I am debating if I should even do it because of how much money it’s going to cost me. All this with a grand total of $2000 as of right now in my name. Since I left work, seeing my bank account deplete due to bills and rent and just day-to-day expenses is completely wrecking me and I don’t know what to do. I’ve applied to hUNDREDS of at home jobs and I have hobbies I even tried to make money from… but nothing is working. The only thing getting me through is the free therapy sessions my school offers for being a student. I feel like I’m spiraling at every moment and that sometime soon Im just gonna poof! Disappear! Because it’s all just so much. Nobody around me knows about any of this either because I’ve kept it all in. Honestly, I figured typing this all out would help to organize things in my head a little bit better! My hope is that somebody will help guide me to any programs, job listings, or even give advice on how to cope through all of this since I don’t really have anybody in my life to help me. Thanks for reading, if you got this far, and I hope things are looking up for you fellow human :)

Ok I was speaking with a friend of mine about this today and things started to click, so I want to present my theory and hear people’s thoughts because I am by no means an economist or politician or anything and I want to know if I’m way off base or not. In other words, I need advice on my theory on real estate taxes and how they’re impacting current renters rates…
This is purely speculative without supporting evidence.
So, Boston gets a huuuuge portion of the revenue through property taxes, and of that number a huuuuge portion comes from commercial businesses real estate. But in comes Covid telling people to work from home for “a while.” What’s a business to do? They don’t want to get rid of their properties because they’ll need them eventually, but they’re so expensive. So it’s time for plan B. Layoffs, yup. Downsizing, yeah. Closing completely, mhmm. All of these things are happening, and it’s driving the cost of commercial real estate down, which in turn drives down the taxes earned from each property.
Meanwhile, Boston has been spending those taxes like crazy, and who could blame ‘em! They had a health crisis to manage, on top of all the other projects going on (looking at you mbta, you really botched that green line job huh pal…).
So the money is going out faster than the taxed businesses can replenish it. Fast forward to today and Boston is in the red by a lot. Like a lot a lot, projected to be 1.4B deficit in five years. On top of that, the damage is done and people realize they don’t need to commute to work and they don’t want these offices, leaving the businesses holding the bag on what appears to be poor investments on paper. Last I checked businesses are far better at lobbying than individuals, are they about to pass the buck to residents? What’s Mayor Wu to do?
Well, unsurprisingly taxes went up. Commercial real estate went up, as did residential taxes. On top of that, the values of these residential properties also went up, making those taxes more expensive.
Now Mayor Wu has filed legislation - not passed, just filed - to try and protect those residential property owners by allowing for a rather substantial tax exemption… if you live in the property you own. Ya know who doesn’t live in their own properties. The landlords… well, typically.
So, regardless of if Mayor Wu’s legislation is passed, landlords are looking at a tax increase no matter what, and boooooy howdy they ain’t gunna be the ones paying it, all you are. This is why you see landlords asking for substantial rent increases, getting shot down, then listing the place for even more. But it gets worse.
The deficit of taxes within Boston is so great, it’s unlikely that property taxes for businesses or residents will ever go down anytime soon, only increase. So what are the landlords to do? Some will weather the storm, but I think a lot of them will sell, and I think Mayor Wu is hoping for this, but I foresee it backfiring. We aren’t talking about the major real estate owners property conglomerates selling, nor are we talking about the schools selling either, I’m talking about the yuppy rich white lady down on the cape that has a few rental properties and never takes care of them. She’s selling. But to who? I think the hope is that potential home owners will buy these properties, incentivized by the tax exemptions, but this us where my skepticism comes from. There’s absolutely noooo way that’s happening when their main bidding competitors are colleges, whose resources are practically unlimited, and real estate companies who have started renting by the room and not by the apartment. And if all else fails, just pull a seaport and buy, demo, build.
Let’s review. Boston is in debt and it’s only getting worse. Commercial real estate value is continuing to drop. Taxes on those properties are increasing but it’s not enough to offset the spending like it used to. Businesses gunna shutter. Residential real estate is increasing in value. Taxes on those properties will be unmanageable for the run-o-the-mill homeowner. Wu is trying to keep home owners, so landlords get disproportionately taxed. Renters are left holding this very heavy bag. Oh yeah, those renters also have like absolutely zero protections against any of this.
Let’s skip ahead a few more years and let the crazy conspiracy theorist in me run rampant: Taxes continue to go up for everyone, so a whole lotta businesses are gunna close (I mean, did you see what just happened to Tavern in the Square this week? Yeah, expect more of that…), landlords keep raising their prices, tuition keeps climbing, unaffordable housing keeps getting built, there’s a mass exodus of businesses leaving Boston, and the businesses that do stay can’t pay their… no, they can, but they won’t pay their employees a salary to live here. They just won’t, and why should they? It’s ungodly expensive to live here and equally as atrocious to run a business here, you’d have to live with your parents rent free for years on a Boston salary just to save enough for a competitive down payment for a home in the city, and forget about renting and saving… your boss’s argument is that they commute in from the cape everyday so why can’t you? Audible eye roll… The schools love this, keep the poor out and only allow for the wealthiest students and their very rich papas and mamas to pay for everything, they look more prestigious than ever, meanwhile I’d wager that at least 1/10 of those students are here to party and get fucked up. Fucked up on what though? TITS literally just closed, liquor licenses are obscenely expensive, you can expect to see more Hecate’s than Silhouette’s because the clientele will absolutely spend $100 to have some smoke rolling out of the glass… The renters gotta make a quick buck and sell their pain killers from an injury the year prior, get kids hooked but they can’t afford anything, so they turn to tranq. Meanwhile those same renters, who are respectable hard working nurses and teachers and small business owners and all kinds of people who should NOT be in this situation, they all have their price jacked up AGAIN to mmm I’m thinking 3500/studio will be the going rate by now, and so these renters are forced to “move” but the question is how? Everyone wants a first, last, security, brokers, and a U-Haul, no one can afford to move, or save for that matter, so they have to leave the city. If they’re lucky enough to have a place to go that is, otherwise everyone else is going to be turning methadone mile into a methadone marathon.
Boston is well on its way to make Philly and San Francisco look like saints in comparison.

You know... had to find a place and there is a subreddit for everything. Glad I found this place. I'm just going to write because I want to beat the living shit out of this man every time I see him and I need to calm my ass down. My left leg is itching to land a roundhouse on this man.
A few months ago, I was talking about cars with a neighbor who lived across the street from me. We usually have talks about his car, my car, and my bike, and we talk about old-school cars. Just one dude having a fun conversation with another.
I had left my garage open, and my dogs. I have 2 of them. One I rescued from a family who couldn't keep it. The other landed on my lap and I've been taking care of it and is now considered my own.
Well, these 2 got out, and started roaming around about 70 ft from my property. Started sniffing around and found the scent of another dog and was curious. I didn't notice this at first of course.
They end up in this man's front yard. Who knows maybe they marked their territory a little drizzle here and there on their grass. Anyway, this man comes out and starts yelling "Get your dog off my yard". I didn't hear him at first or could make out what he was saying, and I realized my dogs had gotten out. I call my dogs, and they are well-trained, they both respond quickly and come running back.
I was a bit offended damn man. They meant no harm. Don't have to yell and shit you know. They are smelling another dog. They are interested in finding out more about this other animal that took a shit and piss in your yard. That's what dogs do. Anyway, I yelled back sorry! I meant it, I was sincere about it. I even started walking over there to show concern of course. He does not respond to me other than saying loudly, "Leash your dog". At that point, I'm over it, my buddy and I crack some jokes about the dude to laugh it off.
Like wtf got up this guy ass at 9 pm? Do you stare out the window all night looking for dogs that may end up in your front yard? We have a good laugh and we talk some more car, my dogs are cool with my buddy. Animals know instinctively who is friendly and who isn't. Oddly that's what I've noticed.
The next morning, after I have taken my kids to school. This jackass walks up to me in his version of workout clothes. I have never seen him ever since I've been taking my kids to school every morning but today was a special day. He has his airpods on, sneakers, and running shorts. Then he comes up to me and talks some mad shit. He's obviously spent the entire night thinking about how he's going to put me in my place or some shit. I just tell the guy to walk away. He says to me "What are you going to do about it?" Say what? What is this? Do what, I asked you to get out of my face right?
Jesus man... this dude, is pushing like the mid-50s to early 60's. I'm younger obviously, I'm thinking you trying to go toe to toe? I tell him to walk away. He tells me his wife is Korean and I'm Korean so he's trying to make some level of connection here, implying he knows something about my culture and he is disappointed as he should know there is some level of cultural impact I should have being a Korean and the way I have responded to him is not to his liking. Thus, I must show some level of respect or bend a knee or some weird shit, as if he understood Koreans to be something different than I am. Entitled as fuck this guy. He wants to feel superior and wants to be bowed down to. A total sense of entitlement right? Superiority complex of some kind. Fuck he annoys the fuck out of me. I keep calm and tell him to get the fuck out of my face but nicer. "Just leave man, no need for you to be in front of me, just gotta go move along," is what I told him.
No offense but I'm looking at this white dude here, and look I can say it because my uncle is white, married my aunt and we had a great relationship. No disrespect but who the fuck is this dude to start bringing up Korean this Korean that, we're in the US man. He acts disrespectful to me and gives me the middle finger as he walks away after me telling the guy on at least four other occasions to get going and stay out and away from my personal space. I'm like whatever, I'm over it. He means nothing really. He means less to me than let's say, a piece of rubber or something. I could care less.
Then he went ahead and told the HOA that my dogs had taken multiple shits in his yard, and I have never bothered to pick up after them. I make sure to pick up shit especially if it's on someone else's yard right. Of course, I respond back to HOA, and tell them, they got bigger things to worry about and they really have bigger shit to worry about than some bs complaint.
I'm sure that got that little ball sack of low-life fucking pissed right. I mean I got 2 tiny dogs. Each weighs less than 10lbs. One is around 6 lbs other is around 7.5 lbs. They are not fucking pit bulls here. Apparently, he also said my dogs were vicious.
That never went far. Anyway, yesterday, my kids got home from school, they wanted to visit a neighborhood friend and left the garage open. A lady was walking by. She was Asian, I can tell. How? I have cameras. I was also upstairs and looked out my window which is directly above the garage because I didn't hear the garage door close.
Well these 2 little shits went barking at her. She didn't flinch just kept on walking. I tell the kids close the garage. Today the big man over there and another lady who lives across the street from him, (I suppose birds of a feather flock together) rang my doorbell after I dropped my son off at school. I come downstairs, and this asshole pounds my door to show his impatience. I'm thinking cops? I open the door it's this asshole and his neighborhood lady friend.
I ask them what's the visit for, she tells me that when she was walking yesterday, my dogs "attacked" her and the dickhead standing next to her adds more dramatic impact and says, they even bit her. I'm fucking laughing inside. I saw the whole thing myself from upstairs. The lady my dogs barked at was Asian, her hair was black, I can still see her face from my upstairs bedroom window. I saw my dogs run up and bark at her and sniff her shoes and bark some more before my kids called them in. This lady was covered in long white sleeve and long white walking pants, white sneakers, a hat to cover the sun, and a face mask because she's Asian of course and we all hate the sun. Her walking stature was that of a woman in her mid 40 to 50's, and this lady in front of me that was supposedly attacked was again not Asian, and the lady claiming that she got attacked is about 30 years older, not even capable of walking no more than 200 feet from her property. She does not wear walking attire obviously made in China or Korea. I know because I'm Korean and older women wear exactly that type of clothing in Korea or Asia when they walk in daylight. They like to avoid the sun, but get their walks in. Jesus.... the fucking lies in this shit is humor at this point.
The lady in front of me is too old, let alone is capable to walk past my property or take daily walks. I work at home remotely man, I would have noticed if this lady was to type to take walks at 3 pm. I pick my kids up and I'm active outside during that time.
This lying POS goes a bit further and says, he thinks my dogs even broke skin. I look at her finger. I see nothing. No bite marks nothing, not even a scratch. No blood. Just straight-up lies. I apologize to the lady regardless. I tell her I'll cover her medical expenses (which means medical report, and doctor bill) she stutters a little, says no need. If she broke skin, and my dogs bit her, she would be at my house the minute it happened. Fucking lying ass dumb idiots. This man now dragged this lady into his lies you know.
Then I look at this mother fucker in the eye and my fucking legs are twitching, and in my mind, I want to land a roundhouse, I gauged the distance, and it would land on the right side of his face. Shit would have been a 10/10 perfect kick I'm thinking.... yea dipshit, something else you should know about Koreans, most of us take some sort of martial arts early in our youth and that never really stops. Seeing how you say you know so much about my culture, did that not enter your fucking head?
Anyway, I look at this sorry excuse for a man, a fucking coward and I ask him why he's here? If the lady is the one who got bit, then perhaps this is between me and her, right? He says he's there with her because he cares. Like hell, you do. You dragged this lady in your lies and she's going along with you but it's not the truth. You sorry ass POS, now dragged another individual into your BS. You still can't get over our last encounter and you are dying to come over and start some new shit. I asked you to walk away, but you didn't like it. You felt disrespected. In your spare time, you've been scheming ways to get back because you were never satisfied.
Anyway, he brings my dogs up again and says he'll call the police. I tell him to do what he's gotta do. That pissed him off because I called his bluff and he can't pull through and execute. I'm fucking with his ability to do anything about it. He now feels small again.
He said I should leave the neighborhood. I bought this fucking house, so I tell him you have money? You wanna buy me out? He has none, he says, "I don't want another house" Okay well then shut the fuck up right. I tell him at this point he should leave. The audacity of this little shitbag to tell me to move out of my own house is something else. Once again this sense of entitlement, where do you get it from?
Anyway, he's giving me the middle finger this whole time like a bitch hiding behind his safety blanket or something right. He's doing all kinds of weird shit right now. Like throws both fingers up, turns around does a 180, and gives me another two fingers. He's doing this like 10 times. What the fuck is wrong with this guy right? In front of the old lady which he seemed to have convinced to carry out the lies with him. I can tell at this point, she's about had it. She no longer wants to be involved. Again, if a person got bit by a "vicious dog" and was bleeding, she would not have acted this way right? She got called out on her hand, she tried to play along with his lead, how my dogs broke the skin, getting bit by them... all that, but she's got no bite marks, and my dogs don't bite. I know this. At the end she tells me she doesn't want my dogs on her yard, but she's okay with other dogs on her yard. So it's a personal thing, okay no worries I tell her.
Then he brings up the culture thing again. "You know my wife is Korean.... she's disgusted with you...blah blah" I respond, "I am Korean and my entire family is Korean and they would be disgusted with you," and then I tell him, "You don't understand us Koreans, we have mutual respect and honor, you have none, and that's why you're not getting any"
Guy walks away looking as small as he is, caught in his lies. When I knew all along what happened, his face turns fucking tomato red. Just what the fuck? How sick is this guy in the head? Anyway, I don't expect anything, just thought I'd write, for the internet and the entire world.