Hott texts to sed guys

I (19F) and my close friend (18F) been friends since high school. Our friendship might not be as long as my others but I love her so much and she was always that one friend that showed me kindness and love, overall she was just a very kind person and friend.
Not too long ago I started talking to this guy that was introduced by my guy friend. My friend was holding a birthday party and he invited all his close friends that’s when I met him since they’re best friends. We found out that we liked each other and started talking. He took me out on dates and we started getting physical towards each other but not sex. It was my first time ever doing anything with someone and he was also my first kiss. But there were so many red flags. After we hung out he would never text me or any of the sort saying “I had fun with you” or all that. We would just vc with everyone else in the friend group in discord. He was a really nice guy but thinking back now I could tell he was definitely not ready to be in a committed relationship. Even before talking to him he mentioned that he just got out of a really bad relationship where his ex cheated on him. I know I should’ve known better than not to talk to a guy who wasn’t fully healed yet because even when we were talking he would bring his ex up often. But his best friend keep telling me that he’s not using me as a rebound and he genuinely liked me and I believed him. I gave them both the benefit of the doubt but turned out that I was wrong. He was wrong. Whenever I was tripping over something they would make me feel like I was the crazy one when all I wanted was the bare minimum. In the end he ended things because he “wasn’t ready” to be in a relationship and he was sorry that if he gave me the impression of leading me on. He DID led me on, but the thing is that all before this I asked him if he still wanted to work on us or not he told me yes he still want to work on us even if he have issues. He gave me a clear answer that from now on he’ll do better but the very next day he ghosted me. I thought I was overthinking but I knew I wasn’t because if a guy really wanted you they would have the decency to simply text you but he didn’t. I was already committed to this guy. We talked for 2 whole months already, went on dates, had sleepovers, slept on the same bed and I let him touched me, and I don’t let just anyone do that because I cherish my body.
I then texted his best friend to tell him to text me and tell me what’s going on because it isn’t fair for me. I even texted him myself before that but he just left me on delivered. After awhile and texting his best friend he finally texted me back saying he’s sorry for ghosting me and that he needs time to think. I understood and patiently waited. Whole week went by and I heard nothing from him. This is when my close friend of mine, let’s call her kam.
Kam was the one I vented to the most whenever I was sad because of him, when I started overthinking, when I cried, she been there for me and saw how shitty he treated me. Kam told me that he plan to write a paragraph to me ending things, she knew she wasn’t supposed to tell me but she wanted me to move on from him quick cause she knew what he did to me wasn’t fair. I thanked her so much for it because it gave me time to prepare and it made me not feel like I was being left in the dark not knowing what was going on. I loved her so much. So then after a whole two weeks he finally sent the paragraph coming up with all these excuses why things won’t work out between us. I was understanding, more than I should’ve been. We ended on a decent note. But something happened with him and that was when I started to despise him and left the friend group and mind u this right after all of this I also ended things with my very best friend of 11 years, that is a whole another story but I had very good reasons to. And when I was dealing with all of that Kam was the one that was there for me, she was the only one in the friend group that understood why I ended my friendship with my bsf and why I despised the guy I use to talk to. She’s aware of everything I went through because of him. But recently she came out to tell me that she’s talking to him.
I never felt like that in my life. I loved her so much I thought to myself how could she do this to me? She said she wanted to tell me because she didnt wanna do it behind my back. But does it really make it any better? She knew what kind of person he is and how he hurt me but how could she just go to talking with him. When I brought up girl code her excuses were that we weren’t even dating and that she’s not serious about him, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t changed the fact that he was the person who’s hurt me and she been there for me through all that. It’s the principle of things. And how is he suddenly crushing on her, one of my CLOSEST friend right after telling me he’s not ready for a relationship and that he needs to focus on himself. She then blamed me for getting hurt. I never would’ve done this to her. I knew that she were still healing from her ex too and I would’ve never blame her for getting hurt no matter what, alone TALKING to her ex. She told me that if I started talking to her ex she wouldn’t mind as long as I give her a heads up. Like what??…do you have no self respect? No matter how much I love her I have my morals and principles and she crossed the line for me.
She asked me if I’m really gonna end our friendship just because of this one thing after all we been through. I kept trying to tell her it’s more than that. It’s deeper than how simply she made it sound. I asked her if she’s gonna keep talking to him even if it means risking our friendship, she said yes. Because she likes him and “it’s not that serious” that answer alone tells me she values talking to him more than our friendship. I don’t need a friend like that.
So tell me, was I wrong for ending our friendship because of this?

So basically, i’m in a ‘talking’ stage with a guy. At first, we texted a lot through the day. But that was right before we both had gotten jobs so the times through each reply widened a bit. But even so, at work I try to reply to whatever he sends when I can like within 30m-2hrs. And now it feels like his replies are taking longer and longer. Like now it’s 6-12hrs, and then today it took him almost 2 days to reply to a text I sent. Like this weekend, our convo lasted for about an hour. And when it’s been quite some time he doesn’t even continue the conversation, he sends a random meme??? May I add that during that time, he posts on his story. my friends tell me not to waste my time with him. I agree as well, because i’ve never met someone who texts that badly. It’d be okay if he’s my friend and we’ve known each other for a bit, but in a talking stage it’s not normal i don’t think. Also this is kind of one of my first ‘talking stage’.
Even if he was a bad texter, wouldn’t that mean he prefers to call or meet in person? He hasn’t initiated neither so i don’t even know at this point. It’s pretty tiring at this point and Im kind of annoyed now. I don’t know if it’s some kind of pull back method or whatever, it’s confusing. It seems he’s uninterested tbh

Hi so I’m not sure where to start I am 18 and in my last year of Highschool. I have been talking to a guy, let’s call him Thomas also 18, since last August. We started texting every day, hours at a time, I personally thought that we got very close since we shared quite a lot of personal stuff from family dynamics to our deepest thoughts. Because a big part of this time was during our prelim and exam phase we didn’t see each other in person. In the start of November he suddenly stopped texting and I didn’t hear anything from him anymore. I was actually really worried that something happens since he was on a farm during that time. Turns out he just ignored me that stung. I am a person that does everything very head on so I absolutely confronted him end of November after exams and right before the holidays. He looked and me like he wasn’t sure what to say and answered with I’m so sorry my mama didn’t raise me like this I’m so sorry but it’s some personal reasons. Personally I thought that that’s a stupid response but fair enough. During the holidays I visited a friend overseas. We had fun going to parties having fun with guys, some of her friends, spend doing fun stuff like skiing and spending time together she really helped me get over Thomas. So fast forward to march. A friend invited me to her birthday and we somehow got on the topic of crushes/ boyfriends. We are 6 girls and since we all are in about the same classes we knew each other quite well. Let’s cal one of the girls Mary, Mary was right before the birthday party on a date with a friend of mine let’s call him Matt. Matt just joined us during this school year and I kinda included in my friend group( 4 guys plus me) and since he was a nerd and most of my friends where it fit amazing. I talked a lot with Matt and we got close but just as friends. So Mary tells the whole table that she knows who my crush is. I thought she is talking about Thomas and was like was I that obvious. She responded with is it Matt. I answer with a hell no. She is taken aback and no everyone is looking at me like who is it. Since I still have a crush on Thomas even after last year I say well it’s Thomas. Immediately everyone is like aww you would be such a sweet couple and are you talking. I share the general details as in this post and with that I thought it was done. Nope. Mary’s best friend Theresa even pushed me to start talking to him again as well as Mary throughout the whole evening. This was on a Friday, that same weekend I get absolutely drunk and drunk call Thomas. He picks up “hi are you ok I’m at a family dinner is everything ok or can I call you back later” me even surprised that he picked up explained him that I was drunk and that I’m so sorry. He’s absolutely fine with it and since then we have been texting every day and again for hours. So during the time from march till now every time i got close to Matt ( just as friend) Mary has been asking me how things with Thomas are if I’ve been texting with him telling me that I should just go with him for coffee, you get the point. Fast forward to yesterday. Another friend at that parity let’s call her Daphne came to me and asked me what i knew about Theresa. I was like “ nothing why” turns out that Theresa has been texting Thomas since start of January, meanwhile telling me to be brave and put myself out there. Daphne told me because she was close friends with Theresa till on Monday when Daphne texted Thomas( as friends) and Theresa saw the name and took the phone out of her hands. Apparently there was a whole argument between them and Daphne realised what had happened and what Theresa did. Daphne when to me and spilled the beans. There is a little bit more drama involving Thomas Theresa me and another girl regarding prom but that is less important. I’m sorry it got so long. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m in a game of cat and mouse, and I’m the mouse. I was completely shocked when I found out and can’t honestly wrap my head around. I hope someone has advice for me who I should confront or what I should do in general.

The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.

Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?

I forgot if I posted about this already.
Last summer, I broke up with someone after a serious relationship (wasn’t sad it was mutual).
I decided that for once, I NEED for once in my life to be single and enjoy it. My plan was 1 full year of being single before I find someone (my ideal person) for marriage.
I was super serious and super committed to worshipping myself. I wanted to fall in love with who I am and the god within. I wanted unshakable confidence and self confidence. I wanted a Christ-like aura.
So I got to work.
I became obsessed with myself (inside and out).
Here’s what I did basically:
I took care of my looks to look like someone I considered breathtaking in my personal opinion. I didn’t go to the gym, just makeup and skincare and dressing the part. I did it for ME, I was the main character now and I wanted to dress the part.
I started walking slowly as if I’m a holy being (again Christ-like aura) while doing my self love affirmations confidently (in my head obviously). Whenever I wasn’t talking or thinking, I was affirming (not like a robot, but more with ease, conviction and enjoyment).
I would meditate on self love and self concept morning and night.
Here’s what happened:
Men started obsessing over me, asking me on dates over and over, they would show up out of the woodworks as they say lol, texting me a little too much. I got so annoyed, but also a bit intrigued by the results lol,that I HAD TO DELETE MY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS AND ARCHIVE ALL MY PICTURES to try and minimize the effects lol. I ghosted a ton of people.
It worked for social media but I still got a lot of attention in real life. I was a rockstar for a while.🤪
This experiment REALLY helped me understand what everyone is YOU pushed out meant.
EIYPO is about YOU not EVERYONE. That’s why owner of this sub always tells you to focus on YOU, to Generate LOVE WITHIN YOU, to be your own SP…
Now something else happened that summer. Even though I was so serious about staying single for a year (lasted 4 months only lol). I was like FINE IF ALL THESE MEN ARE SHOWING UP MAYBE I SHOULD WRITE A LIST OF ALL THE QUALITIES I WANT IN MY FUTURE HUSBAND.
Well guess who I met the very next day ☺️. You guessed it. I met the guy from my list. At first I didn’t care at all because he was just another guy that I didn’t want to date. But after a few conversations he convinced me to go on a date and I fell IN LOVE ON OUR VERY FIRST DATE (him too, we became inseparable instantly)
Now so you guys don’t think I’m a liar or anything, we did break up recently:/ I’m not sad but I have to admit to all of you that I was so in love that I went back to my old habits of focusing on the other person. I made him my whole world and stopped prioritizing myself 🫡. It’s a human thing we all do I guess. When you find someone to love you, it’s like you give them this huge task suddenly, a task that should be your own.
I didn’t become needy in 3d but I definitely was needy energetically and he started prioritizing his work to the point where we would see each other once every week or so …
This post is 100% real guys no scams here I promise .
I’m writing this post to tell you please please please listen to u/ALLISMIND he’s got it figured out and he’s telling you all the truth. I am living proof of this.
Losing my man is also a big lesson to all of us. Do not forget about your self love and self concept once you’re with someone… of you course you need to love them too, but you MUST keep loving and caring about your inner world. It should be a habit like brushing your teeth or better BREATHING.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be back on my routine of self love and self concept. You can find me reading all is mind’s posts from the very beginning (again lol).
As my boyfriend, I’m not worried about him to be honest. If he comes back that would be great, if not I know something wonderful is waiting for me.
Feel free to ask me anything.

My boyfriend and i met last year while i was living in mexico. we were both on intense spiritual journeys and it seemed like our life visions and goals aligned. I was really hesistant to date him bc he was really into his self image (muscles, tattoos, tough guy from oakland). Not really my type. I enjoy highly intellectual convos and not taking myself too seriously. plus he lived far away and i knew i didnt want long distance. he convinced me to give him a chance and flew back every month to see me. But hes disciplined, stoic, doesnt give a fuck about other women, and committed to a healthy spiritual life. hes funny and goofy and i love being around him. introduced me to his friends very quickly and they had a lot of drama that they dumped onto me. seeking my advice etc. then his dad got cancer and he brought him to mexico to do ayahuasca. we had only been dating 2 months and he was asking me to hold A LOT of space for him his friends and his family. im an herbalist so i formulated medicines for him, picked up groceries, drove him to the hospital. it was a lot. I felt from the jump he wasnt a very considerate person.
I communicated time & time again that I felt he didnt have room on his plate to really get to know me and start a deep meaningful relationship. he assured me he was ready and in love with me, but I still felt super neglected. Time passed, we have been together for a year, moved back to the states last sept, he moved in with me. I pay all the bills since he was starting fresh, i already had a job. Now after living with him I'm learning that he has a very avoidant attachment style. he would fly back home for a couple weeks and wouldnt say i love you or i miss you. i asked him why, he said well u always say it first and ill always say it back. i asked him to please be more communicative so i can FEEL this love he says he has for me. Says he will. still rare to hear him say these things.
I have sought therapy, expressed the importance of connection, esp in the morn & night. still doesnt cuddle with me at night, doesnt intitiate sex ever (says he has deep fear of initimacy, & we can only have sex when he wants in the 1 position that makes him feel secure), no "im thinking of you" texts (says no, dude i dont miss you when im at work for just 8 hours). I bring up my needs all the time and he tells me i need to keep reminding him when i want these things.
BUT he admits to having all of these issues, asks me for patience & guidance in loving me the way i want. Says hes starting therapy in June. Knows this is a toxic pattern he wants to break. we do good for a week then its back. I find myself laying in bed crying a couple times a week, feeling neglected. I come from a violent drug feuled childhood, I didnt have any secure relationship with adults, so i can go to anxious very quick. I am working on myself bc I know my past is what keeps me feeling like i have to earn someones love. Did this same dance w my ex but he told me "what u want is a fantasy, its not realistic." even still, had a hard time breaking that one off.
the thing is, everyone around him tells me this is THE MOST love and compassion they have ever seen him exhibit in a relationship. He usually runs away. The fact that he chased me for months was shocking to his friends n family. I KNOW he loves me, but is it fair that im constantly feeling like I have to compromise my needs for closeness and connection, while I wait for him to HOPEFULLY change? itsnt it unfair for me to even ask him to change? doesnt that mean i dont love HIM but i hope he can become? *would love to hear from other avoidant men, i know women will just say RUN
EDIT: I'm really into healing. I stay with him bc I want to heal my anxious attachment. I actually wanna be more like him. more indpenedent on my own, not need constant reassurance. is staying w an avoidant thats open to change the wrong way to heal?

me and my boyfriend were texting and he told me that I should be regular at the gym. I have not been consistent because sometimes my friend isn't able to join and I refuse going alone because there's only boys there apart from us and I don't feel comfortable.
He also told me that I'm not serious about my diet just because I asked him in the evening if I'll have to follow this diet for my whole life to have a certain figure. I just asked him and nowhere did I say that I will not follow the diet but he says that the indirect meaning of it was that I'll not follow my diet.
He then jokingly said that he'll leave me if I don't go to the gym? Obviously I did not take that joke well and told him that he is no one to tell me what to do and he should keep his jokes to himself and not tell me.
This also reminded me of some previous conversations where he talked about how I'll look so hot when I gain some weight at the gym. It's okay to say such thing a time or two but he used to consistently mention it and when I told him that it makes me feel that he is with me because of how good I will look once I gain a few kilos, it makes me feel that he doesn't find me attractive currently. He stopped mentioning it after our conversation and I was happy about it that he doesn't mention it but then this happened and I'm again feeling the same way.
He sometimes gets so annoying that I question our relationship and the love I have for him. I was in a good mood and praising him, complimenting him and this is what he says. Like what the fuck why am I even talking to him. He's sweet most of the time but sometimes he says things which make me question my love for him. I start wondering why am I even in a relationship with him.
And who says such a thing even as a joke. Please tell me if I was wrong somewhere because I can't understand this guy.

Sorry y’all, I’m super long winded. I do a lot of thinking on the page.
So I’ve typed as an INFP for years now, and a lot of me still feels like an INFP (when you start comparing stereotypes between the XNFP types). But it’s only recently did I start to actually learn about cognitive functions did I realize I actually was an ENFP and all of a sudden things make sense. I feel like an oval block that I kept trying to fit into the circle hole, but now that I’m not trying to push myself onto being an INFP I just naturally feel like an ENFP, it’s honestly a weird feeling being fresh in that “mistyped for years” mindset. It was my high use to Te that made me start to actually question it, and learning more about inferior Si, it is me to a T.
So I’ve started to learn more about ENFPs, and there’s something that I’ve noticed. ENFPs are often characterized as loud party animals, always traveling, center of attention, large group of friends, I’ve even seen “ENFPs aren’t the ones who are bullied, they’re the ones who befriend the people who are bullied”. Just very big people-focused energy, constantly on the go and having new experiences, and able to just walk up to strangers and strike up a conversation.
And the other thing I’ve noticed, something people kind of say now and again, but it’s more just an observation I’ve made, ENFP behavior can sometimes seem like it’s just describing the behavior of an autistic, ADHD, or auDHD, individual. A lot of the behaviors don’t fit, but a lot of the others really seem to.
Now, for me personally, I’m autistic, have ADHD, crippling social anxiety, and memory problems. I’m also someone who’s just always kind of been an introvert, and I’m definitely a homebody who just prefers smaller expeditions every now and again but my bed and couch are my happy places.
My neurdivergencies and get-up-and-go energy level has lead me to question just where I fit in XNFP.
/ / / the introvert/ambivert/extrovert section.
For one, I am not a talk-to-people sorta person. I stutter with the cashier then leave the store just second guessing every single thing I’ve said and done and how stupid I must have come off to everyone around me. Straight to the point of bordering paranoia where I will genuinely believe everyone is watching me and thinking negative things about me. So I stay home, I’m comfortable at home, I don’t really have friends just my bf, but I love him so much and I couldn’t exist to my happiest without his company.
I spend so much time with my bf just talking to him, texting him when we’re apart, I’m at the point I think he just wants to sew my lips shut 😂 I never shut up. I like doing little outings with him, like going to the zoo, a museum, or the mall. I enjoy these things on my own but then I’m trapped with all my thoughts, I much prefer if he joins me.
For me, it feels like if I don’t speak aloud or write down every single thing that crosses my mind I’m literally going to explode. It’s as if the world must bear witness to my thoughts or else they just don’t matter at all.
Additionally, I love when strangers just talk to me. I’m not living in the city anymore right now, but I miss the social interactions I had. Sitting next to a stranger at the bus stop and striking up a conversation about their awesome hair, hoping that someone on the bus has a dog so I can ask them about the dog. Occasionally half the bus would get in on the conversation about the dog and that’s just so fun. And I remember one night this guy, probably high on something, sat in the seat behind me and we just talked about the city since he recently moved there, I told him to visit the zoo, then we started to just talk about the psychology of primates and I loved that.
I’m not a social person, but I really appreciate those “I’ll never see you again in my life so here’s my life story while we sit on the bus” moments. I can set aside my anxiety when people genuinely want to open up to me. I’m still anxious, but I also just feel happy in those moments. I’m not the best conversationalist with strangers, but I put in the effort in those small moments.
And when I do have friends, always a circle of introverts, I’m also the one of the group who will be the one to speak up. “Uh, waiter, she actually didn’t order this”. Can’t do it for myself, but when advocating for others or for my group, I definitely can pull together the courage to speak up and I even enjoy it.
But I have so few social memories, because I’m usually just living in constant fear of the judgement of other people. I just keep to myself and stay home most of the time.
Heard that the stereotype is often ENFPs want to explore everything about the world and get out into it, but the flip side is that some ENFPs prefer their exploration to be through their mind. That’s absolutely me. Give me the option of a day on the town or ordering takeout and watching a 5 hour deep dive into an obscure corner of the internet we then can speculate on together, I’m taking the latter 9/10 times.
But it does still make me wonder “does this just make me an extrovert with social anxiety or am I just an introvert?” To the point I’ve even stopped considering myself an ambivert, and just let go of the whole idea of introversion and extroversion (as a social battery drain theory) even existing because I feel like for everyone it really is just situational. But the identity crisis part of my brain still has an incessant need to figure out “where do I place” even if it’s all just stressing me out.
/ / / the auDHD section.
Despite the introversion tendencies making me feel isolated from other ENFPs, at the same time I completely vibe with it. But, a lot of what I relate to is also through my autism, my ADHD, my memory problems. And I know that every type can be diagnosed with any of these, but now it has me wondering stuff like “how would autism present in an ENFP vs in an ISTJ?” It also has me wondering just what is my cognitive functions, and what is my diagnoses?
I feel like they can fight me on an ENFP identity, such as making me an anxious social recluse posting long posts and comments to reddit to fuel that social need, but at the same time I think it also might amplify my natural characteristics.
Like, my Ne will drive my mind to wander and jump around, but then does ADHD put that on steroids? I also have a super hard time focusing and concentrating, which I’m assuming is not necessarily the base state of the ENFP. If they have to focus on something, I imagine they probably could without that nagging ADHD pull making you forget the task you’re literally currently doing to go and do 6 other things. As well, I wonder if my ADHD has any relation to just how much of a lazy homebody I am.
And the autism, well, autistics are quirky. Quirkiest people I’ve ever met. I’m definitely…. very different from most people. But ENFPs are also characterized as quirky chaos people, too. Does autism just give flavor to my already quirky nature?
And with memory problems, well, I can seem really stupid (and my bf would say helpless) in situations I think an Se or Si dom would excel at. I don’’t have much of a referential memory, I always just figured it was trauma (but hey, I can’t even remember to be sure), but learning about inferior Si really sometimes sounds like what I’m experiencing.
I just don’t exactly know what is just “normal” ENFP behavior, and what auDHD ENFP behavior is, or how it compares to the auDHD behavior of other types.
——
How do you separate neurodivergency from cognitive functions, and even more so, how do neurodivergencies play into cognitive functions? I’m certain I’m an ENFP given how I use my cognitive functions, but I just don’t always feel like I belong amongst the people I’m supposed to relate to. But then again, won’t an autistic person always feel like they just don’’t feel “like the rest”?
I guess I’m just kind of on my long existential search for belonging right now.
I just want to have people one day that I feel just get me. I feel lost and alone. Maybe that does make me an extrovert, at least a little bit.

I'll start off by saying I don't want to sit here and write a post of another failed set of parents, but, alas, I have nobody else I can speak to about this that would really understand. I've found therapists do be rather unhelpful and I truly have trust issues with people. I've kept a lot of this inside for my life and at this point I think I just need to somehow let it out instead of punching holes in walls or screaming in anger randomly. Maybe writing it here would help me sleep a full night or be a little happier in life?
Either way, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your take on this for those who have experienced a similar past. I'm not looking for sympathy, but a possible path that I can take in getting rid of this hate I have inside of me for good.
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By the age of 13 I had already been living with different friends for months and months with no idea where or what my mother was doing. I went to school but only when I wanted to, otherwise I would wander around and skateboard on the streets until it was time to go 'home'. She would randomly show up in her beat up 80s Honda accord with everything she owned in the backseat to see me once in a BLUE moon. Never once did she speak with my friends parents or caretakers about me, just assumed I would worm my way into another family and their life and become another mouth to feed with no explanation. As a kid you don't really see it from an adults perspective, but as an adult you know there's a failed adult behind this child in your home.
I knew the situation wasn't ideal, but I was living with my best friend at the time for a while as a kid. Every night was video games with your best bud, how bad can life be?
My mother was 17 when she had me, and 16 when she had my brother both with the same guy. I never knew my brother, he was given away because either she was too young or she didn't want him. I spoke with him a few times on social media, but nothing more. I don't use any social media so any contact I did have is gone. He didn't know I existed until I had reached out and has never spoken with our blood parents.
Super mommy did it all. Drank whatever and whenever she could, frequently used drugs (even sold them to my friends who were in middle school for a couple of bucks), fist fought anyone that upset her (including men and myself at a certain age) and was always the victim in these scenarios. She hadn't been this way for as long as I knew her, but majority of the time it was. She had a temper like no other and felt like it was "her" superpower. When it reality it's just a weakness that everyone gets to experience firsthand, either verbally or physically depending on the day. "You can fuck with mean, but you can't fuck with crazy!" she'd say, moments before road raging with a stranger at midnight in the middle of nowhere.
When my 'step' father (the man who raised me most of my life and I love with everything I have) had heard of my situation living abroad, he didn't hesitate to pick me up and take me to a better place in an entirely different part of the country. He and my mother didn't see eye to eye on much after I was about 4 years old, but he always stuck around in the same town we lived in to be around me. Eventually he went back to his hometown when she severed communication between he and I. Only through the grapevine did he hear about me and what I was doing. A few days later he had driven across the US day and night to pick me up, give that family money, thanked them and took me away.
The last time I spoke with my mother was when she took me out for some new shoes for my 14th birthday making promises left and right, while again sitting in her car with everything she had in the backseat. It was just another day with this human who couldn't help but do drugs and lie to me. I already knew I wouldn't be here in a few days and when she came back to see me, I was gone.
I lived in this new home and it actually felt like one with my Dad (step dad but he was my DAD). A few years of having a HOME was surreal and I think I took it for granted, because that too came to an end. I was just starting college and that's when parent #2 came into my life.
Meet Bio-dad! He was once only a few blurry pictures from many years past and tales from my shaman mother. Naturally I was always curious about him, and one day we were in contact with one another. Somehow he managed to find me, even though he had been paying child support for most of my life. He flew out to meet me, and a few months later I somehow decided moving across the country to live with him was a swell idea.
I thought this might have been it, finally, the blood I thought I always wanted in my life. But just a few months in I realized he was no better than her. He was successful and worked hard, but that doesn't mean he's a good person let alone a father. I never called him Dad or Father purely because I was a young adult now and didn't need another figure like that in my life, let alone from someone I barely knew. He was on marriage 2 or 3 with step kids and I just felt like I was 13 years old again in another strange house. I was told he spent a long time trying to find me when he was paying child support but was never able to. I believed him at first, and sometime later many divorced fathers told me that probably isn't be true.
It felt like he was constantly angry or upset at something. His wife, the kids, the dogs, the pool, whatever he was annoyed with everyone else was obligated to agree or veer away. He often found ways to make himself out to be the hardest worker and nothing matters but how many hours you clock in your worksheet. He "wished he could work 40 hours a week". After a few months of everyone arguing, yelling and finger pointing over little nothings each day, I decided I didn't need this kind of stress in my life and left to live in my small truck for a few weeks until I found a room to rent on my own and start my adult life.
Over the years he's tried to stay in contact with me but I never really gave much back to him if at all. I have no interest in knowing him, but his insistent attempts to contact me with 'family is important' yada yada makes my blood boil. I have no blood family as far as I care to know. I'm on the latter half of this life and I simply don't see the point in trying to establish these relationships because we have the same grandparents or blood. Why would I EVER try to put myself into that situation again? For family? Something I really don't value or care about?
The last couple of years I went from never thinking about these humans to frequently finding myself shaking from anger and distracted in life from what I want to actually do and accomplish. I feel like I'm stuck on this chapter and I really, really need to move on from it. I thought just ignoring it would work, but alas as time goes on I get random phone calls and texts from people I used to know trying to get in contact with me. I know who they are, and I know who they're speaking for, but I don't ever give them the satisfaction of even responding.
So here I am, wondering what I should do. Do I call both of them (keep in mind I don't think they've spoken since the early 90s) and let each person individually know that I'd rather watch them suffer in life than to spend time with them? I don't even want them to know where I am, what I'm doing or what I sound like. Do I write them an email, pray they know what that even is and hope they understand I don't care for them?
I considered getting hypnotized so I can fully forget them. As ridiculous as that sounds I often wonder if I could completely remove them from my memory, would I be a better person? Would I finally feel this tension in my chest leave? Would I stop screaming internally when I'm alone out of anger towards them?
At this point in my life I just want to be happy with what I have and leave them in an old time capsule never to be opened again. As I get older the more I understand that childhood tremendously dictates who we are, and I'm learning that I don't really like who I am in some aspects, and I blame them for that. Whatever good and success I have in life is because of my 'step' Dad and how he raised me the best he could.
I don't know that I could be calm or mature enough to clearly state how I feel without emotions coming into the mix. Every time I imagine talking to them it quickly turns into a rage that takes a while to let go of.
If you read my rant, thank you. If you didn't, I don't blame you one bit.
tl;dr I need to completely remove my parents from my life so I can move on, and I'm not sure how to go about it.
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**WARNING: 2.8K characters ahead! mostly boring! no, really**
-- Before I start, I hope you have discord, would make things easier since I'm not here most of the time. --
Greetings traveler, I hope I make this introduction awkward enough to give you a reason to scroll down because I actually want to filter most people out, I know... I'll be lucky if I even get 1 reply but that's exactly enough. I know you may be a wonderful person but I'm a simple guy with few friends and I can only handle one more atm. Friends to me are precious and require something as (if not more) precious, which is time, so it's totally fine if you don't want to share yours with me but if you aren't sure here's a "short" list of things about me:
Latino, English is not my first language so be patient if you like your grammar, I can do Voice Chat but please bear that in mind or spare us the trouble.
Happily single, idc about race and relationship status, as I mentioned, I just want a friend, you can't choose who you fall in love with anyway but I'd be lying if I said I'm looking for something here, my expectations are: someone to talk to or a player 2 (or player 1 for that matter), that said, if you are taken don't expect me to give you dating advice or anything similar, I'm of the opinion that such things should be solved by talking to your SO, not someone else.
I couldn't care less about appearance, (most) people can choose their own weight but not the face they are born with, it's hard enough to find meaningful connections, I don't want to discard one just because they don't look like a supermodel, I'm no Brad Pitt either but I come close if I say so myself (no I don't).
I also don't care much about age but from experience it would be easier for us to get along if you are 25+ but it's all about mental age, really.
If you are wondering when I'm gonna talk about my hobbies, consider this a warning because I usually send a wall of text and forget about it for hours or a day unless we are having an active conversation and then I repeat the process, which I know is overwhelming to some but on the other hand I don't expect you to reply the moment I DM you, not even the same day tbh, what I do expect is an actual answer.
I like space, science, philosophy and the typical triforce of games, anime and internet debates. Although I rarely watch anime now, I just like the art style.
It would be nice to exchange music recommendations... but expect most of mine to be instrumental, j-music or some sort of electronic mess (no dubstep), I tend to be out of the loop with anime openings for the reason stated above.
Favs:
Game: Harvest moon (rebranded as Story of seasons)
Anime: Hard to pick, maybe Kanon (Clannad's older sis) or Utawarerumono.
All of these are oldies but I guess that's why I enjoyed Godzilla Minus One so much.
Music: Wide range, depends on the mood, if I want something soothing "Wasureji no kotonoha" (DAZBEE's cover in particular) or if I want to draw then "Bassline Yatteru?" (not proud but no point in being ashamed either)
I do play online and co op games but prefer to keep it simple or short, tft, hs battlegrounds, etc, otherwise I'll never finish my backlog. No FPS, I suck, like, wood tier.
Anyway... nothing here is a must, if you don't want to talk about anything just don't, the whole point of this is to have something to look forward to or maybe just a safe place. I could go on but it would be better to ask if you got this far. If you actually read all of that, regardless of what you do next, I want to thank you for your time, hope it was worth it, if not, hope you find something or someone that is.

My (M21) gf (F25) went on our first date 11 months ago. We were seeing and texting eachother frequently, and around month and a bit later we set on exlusivity. Things seemed perfect, but on month 3 after I was on her phone I saw chats with a FWB she had (who had blocked her but i didnt see what date they last spoke), and other guys she was going on dates with. I broke up with her immediately but ended up with her again in a couple days after she convinced the FWB was from before she met me, and that the dates were because she was still unsure if she shouldve taken me seriously. I chose to forgive and she let me see that she had deleted all of them.
We became official on month 4, and things were nice, arguments here and there but things were good. Skip foward to today, I was going through my gallery I came across old photos she had sent me around month 2 of us dating, where it was visible on her screen that FWB was still talking to her. I connected the dots and pretty much found out that one of her "girlfriends" shed tell me about during our first 2 months, whod frequently be over at her house, was actually the FWB.
Im stuck on if I should break up with her or not as shes 100% changed, and weve grown to be extremely loving to eachother, met her family etc. I dont doubt her loyalty right now, however the fact she was sleeping with another guy during the early stages does hurt. What are your thoughts?
Tldr my foubd out my gf had a fwb on during our first two months of dating

My boyfriend had been working to rebuild my trust (history posted below). It seems things were getting better. He lately told me that the outings he had with friends were all men. On Saturday he went to his friend’s birthday at the baclub. He came back around 4am when he said he’d come back a lot earlier. I wasn’t thinking too much of it and had recently woken up. He was texting me as he was coming home and so I made him a hot cup of tea and toast since it was cold out. When he came in I felt like something was weird about him. My gut reaction hit and my anxiety started going up. I asked if there was anyone else but the guys and he said no. I asked if I could see his phone to help me feel better and he said sure (side note: he promised me I could see his phone whenever I needed to feel better when he broke my trust before).
He wouldn’t let me touch his phone, showed just the front page of Instagram, and then started complaining he doesn’t like this treatment and he feels like I’m the police. I didn’t really say much, just listen and he then went to the bathroom. I looked at his account on my phone and I watched the followers # drop by 4. So he was deleted accounts while in the bathroom.
He came out and continued to say I make him feel bad and I’m like the police. Then I asked if he was hiding anything. He said no. We’re religious/spiritual so I asked if he could something like “God I promise I’m not hiding something” he struggled to say the whole sentence with God in it. I finally confronted him and had screenshots of one girl I knew was new before he deleted. He said he didn’t know who she is and probably someone from the past.
Eventually it came out that he met her that very night and he thought it was ok to add her because she’s the girl his friend is trying to date? She apparently arrived at the end of the night. The conversations with that male friend were also all deleted. (His reason: because I’m friends with the ex of that male friend and might mention the new girl to the ex. I barely speak to her btw…).
Anyways later I found out he also went to this tourist hostel/bar the day prior and met two other girls at the bar there and added them on Instagram. He said he was talking to the guy they were with and that’s how he met them but the guy doesn’t have Instagram so he doesn’t have proof of the guy’s existence. He forgot to delete these girls.
He then said he has other situations adds girls to be nice but deleted them because he’s worried I’ll find out since we decided just while we’re rebuilding trust to not be chatting with girls and getting their Instagram. He says he’s not cheating but was worried of causing problems and so that’s why he lied.
I almost broke up with his over this lie. It’s all very bad right now and I feel I have zero trust in him. Did I overreact?
History: When he was traveling for work in another country he found out this girl was in a beach party town nearby. This girl is very provocative on her Instagram and he had a date with before he met me. He asked her to share a hotel (he said to save money and it’s what friends do?) and she’s didn’t respond to that so they never met up. He deleted those messages. I found out because this girl thought it was weird and sent me screenshots. Hence he promised I could see his phone whenever I needed.
Also he added a waitress on Instagram from the hotel he stayed at while traveling from work. For my that seems like a very weird thing to do.

Hey there, fellow Indians!
I'm genuinely perplexed about something. You know those average-height, dark-skinned guys who somehow manage to attract a ton of girls? They're all over Instagram and Snapchat, and it's not just about being outgoing. I've got a Christian friend who's great with women, despite being short, and he's got two girls in his life (one ex and one current, not sure if he's still dating) plus a bunch of female friends. He's got over 1,000 followers on Instagram, mostly girls.
Then there's this college friend of mine, 5'3" (I'm 5'5", by the way), who's got an ex and a new girlfriend right after the breakup. He's got glasses, is slim, dark-skinned, and short, but he's got a good rep as our class rep. He gets loads of female attention, even from juniors, and has over 1,000 followers on Instagram and 3,000 on LinkedIn. It's not just about the numbers; most of them are girls who follow him back. He's smart, knows about single girls outside college, and I've seen him checking out porn, but he still gets the girls.
He once told me to avoid dating women from college or work and mentioned he's got a girl from his society. He gets tons of texts from girls on Instagram and Snapchat, and he's funny, I know. But how does he do it?
I met this guy through a college group who claimed to have 10 girls. He looked like a regular dude with a bike, but he told me to just ask my crush out.
Personally, I've been rejected 6-7 times offline and over 100 times online, and I even got banned from a platform. I'm clueless, and I'm hoping for some real advice from guys who've got experience with girls and girls themselves. Please, no "self-improvement" lectures. Thanks for reading, and I'm looking forward to some helpful responses.

I am 26 and I work in a airport coffee shop. I started sleeping with a guy who is an airline pilot. He is 32. I also found the job so cool since I was a kid. He is good looking too, so many reasons to give it a try, although I am not into hook up culture. We did it once, then it happened again after like 3 weeks later. At that point he asked me for my number, so we could be in touch. I was happy. It's been already 4 months that we see each other when he can. Usually when he is off it is for a few days.
I am sure I am not a side chick, because last time we met, he also put a photo of us on social media.
I was not sure I want a stable relationship, so I was fine with the fact we see each other very rare. I recently broke up and I enjoy not being with someone in a serious way. He made me feel good. He is funny and intelligent too. Lately though he has been very different. At first he made me feel bad for working in an airport coffee shop, like it's a not a good enough job. Then, he also raised his voice at me for waking him up by accident. I went to bathroom and the door woke him up.
And 2 days ago he slapped me. Very bad. I fell to the floor. We had a fight about the way he treats me and how he looks down on me for not having a better job, not being ambitious enough. I am not the kind of person to tolerate such things and I called him an arrogant a$$hole. He hit me, walked out of my apartment and after 3 hours he texted me to apologise. He said he was tired, he had a very long flight, stressed. I told him I cannot forgive him and I will stop seeing him. He said fine, that he understands this but he wants to talk to me tomorrow, after I am done with my shift. I agreed and I'm not sure I should have, but told him we will talk in a public place, where people are around.
He acted offended and tried to talk me out of it, that he wants to be alone with me, but in the end he agreed. Tomorrow we will meet. I am confused and not happy with myself that I agreed, but there are things I want to tell him too, about his behaviour, about how I like my job and that my ambition has nothing to do with it. I am at college, but we never got to talk about this. Overall I want to tell him he was a jerk. Is it a mistake I could regret? I don't want to go with him anywhere to be alone.

Hey there, fellow Indians!
I'm genuinely perplexed about something. You know those average-height, dark-skinned guys who somehow manage to attract a ton of girls? They're all over Instagram and Snapchat, and it's not just about being outgoing. I've got a Christian friend who's great with women, despite being short, and he's got two girls in his life (one ex and one current, not sure if he's still dating) plus a bunch of female friends. He's got over 1,000 followers on Instagram, mostly girls.
Then there's this college friend of mine, 5'3" (I'm 5'5", by the way), who's got an ex and a new girlfriend right after the breakup. He's got glasses, is slim, dark-skinned, and short, but he's got a good rep as our class rep. He gets loads of female attention, even from juniors, and has over 1,000 followers on Instagram and 3,000 on LinkedIn. It's not just about the numbers; most of them are girls who follow him back. He's smart, knows about single girls outside college, and I've seen him checking out porn, but he still gets the girls.
He once told me to avoid dating women from college or work and mentioned he's got a girl from his society. He gets tons of texts from girls on Instagram and Snapchat, and he's funny, I know. But how does he do it?
I met this guy through a college group who claimed to have 10 girls. He looked like a regular dude with a bike, but he told me to just ask my crush out.
Personally, I've been rejected 6-7 times offline and over 100 times online, and I even got banned from a platform. I'm clueless, and I'm hoping for some real advice from guys who've got experience with girls and girls themselves. Please, no "self-improvement" lectures. Thanks for reading, and I'm looking forward to some helpful responses.

TDLR: Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. We broke up begging of May this year. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is a sl*t childish. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker, he told me I’m childish and to leave them alone. I understand I fucked up if I received a text like this from a a daughters ex I’d be fuming. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had but feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text?
Hello all, This is gonna be long. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to read and help with some words. I have no therapist or friends this seems like the best option.
I have never posted on here but seriously feel torn up. I know that I have been in the wrong in all this but I truly was dealing with a weed addiction till I finally sobered up and realized how fucked I am. This relationship has been a rollercoaster, but something I didn’t want to get off. She showed me many first things and it was my longest relationship of three years. She cared for me when I had no job, to every job, skinny fat, etc and I did the same with her struggles. To make a long story short back in August of 2023 I found my ex texting one of my bestfriends that worked with her at the time(I had quit that spot and found another job). No lust or crazy texts just work laughing but I confronted her about it it was jealousy and she said it was nothing.
After a few weeks come September I kept feeling this jealousy boil over. If she had texted anybody else I wouldn’t have said much but I felt like cause it was MY friend she should have brought up the convo they had even if it was light and funny. I was pestering her about him, she then decided to text him behind my back saying I’m being jealous. They text back and forth and he’s calling me a kid and disrespecting me even though he’s known me for longer, and she was laughing sending him laughing emojis and stuff. He then texted me asking me to fight because somehow she told him I threatened him. I got pissed she ruined a friendship and told her I’m done blocked her on everything. From September to December 2023 I was all alone focused on work and meeting new people. In December I rekindled with a girl I knew no feelings just stupid lust. While talking to the new girl, my ex sends me a heartfelt email since I had blocked her on everything, saying she’s sorry and understands I don’t want to hear from her but wishes me the best. I softened up and began texting her here and there, but still was talking to the new girl.
After a while in Jan/Feb 2024 I met with the girl I had rekindled with and we had done some things. However during this time I started seriously missing my ex and the way I felt comfortable around her. So I was talking to my ex again fully and wanted to make it work again. The problem came when my ex wanted to visit me since she’s long distance. She flew all the way to me and everything was good, till that new girl decided she wasn’t getting my attention anymore and texted my ex lying to her telling her I was begging for her etc. My ex broke down and asked why and I childishly said because of what she had done by texting my bestfriend and that we weren’t together. She cried in my arms and I balled with her cause I truly didn’t want to hurt this girl like this. I offered her to leave me and understood I fucked up. But to my surprise she wanted to stay and asked to fix our trust. I tried my hardest to fix it, I gave her my social passwords, she had my location, everything she wanted she got, even removed all girl friends to gain trust and she removed guys. However after some time around March 2024 I felt like all that I did wasn’t building up that trust again, and I began having flashbacks to trauma where I got left and cheated on within a week. I felt like my ex got back with me to seek revenge. So I started pushing her away scared.
During April she came again to visit me and booked a flight without asking me to pay or anything and genuinely asked to spend every minute of the day with me. I should have taken her coming to see me without me asking as her sign of true love but I ignored it.
Beginning of May 2024 came and our problems began. I started seeing her go out with friends to bars, even to houses I didn’t know and she would take a little longer to respond. I began thinking something is up due to my trauma and started being distant with her. She kept asking me to stop doing this, and cried a few times but I was truly scared of behind hurt and thought by being distant I’m protecting myself. She told me this once and it’s stuck with me “you’re gonna regret doing this”. After that convo she became cold with me too to the point where I didn’t even know who she was anymore. Our final convo was May10. We argued on the phone, and she blamed me for everything, I brought my ex bestfriend and her and how they hurt me she said she had already apologized and I said I did too for cheating but I knew what I did hurt more. She told me to leave her tf alone that I haven’t been the man she needs saying she’s seen better guys treat gfs better etc. That she wants time alone that she wouldn’t go around like I did with girls fucking randoms guys. I blocked her but I genuinely thought we would breakup and get back together as always.
However a week passed and I heard nothing. For some reason I felt like I deserved an apology cause during our arguments I was being more respectful and it felt like she kept saying stuff on purpose to hurt me. I saw she had logged onto my socials and I locked her out and logged out of her accounts cause I felt like it was better. However I was still stalking her Instagram following number and began seeing it go up fast. I started getting guys being suggested to me that follow her and I noticed it was all guys she used to work with and removed for “trust”. I felt broken cause it felt like she did what my first ex with the trauma did , just move on within a week. I felt sad, but the sadness turned to anger. I thought by burning bridges I could move on quicker. And I began blowing her up with calls to no answer, so I switched to texting and said some of the most heinous shit I’ve said to anyone. I then texted her mom telling her her daughter got a new type being childish but nothing too disrespectful to the mom. I texted the dad however and called his daughter names, which he got back at me with a threat and called me childish and that he’s happy his daughter isn’t with someone like me and to lose their numbers. I said lmao cool being even more childish.
I genuinely felt bad the same day I texted the parents this. I felt like bringing them into childish arguments and saying what I said made me look like a true child which I try not to be fast in situations but I was impatient and dumb. I felt like I was the one being stubborn in the relationship and pushed her away, then got upset when she did walk away I just didn’t appreciate her at the end and it hurts my soul I’ve felt this heaviness on my chest ever since like I lost the person for me. I know blaming it on the weed is childish but I feel like it game me that I don’t give a F feeling till it bit me in the ass. I spoke to my only friend and my parents who didn’t even accept the relationship at first due to culture, but they told me I had fucked up and told me with time they will heal, and that in time I can send a message to the parents if I wanted to to get my conscious clear and be able to move on with a better image.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. A part of me says apologize in the hopes of getting this girl back one day which I know is selfish, the bigger part of me just hates the image I left of myself cause I have never left a relationship in this manner

TLDR: I broke up with my girlfriend due to how she treated me, right after the breakup she got with a guy she met during a party on Halloween and now I feel miserable. I broke up due to how she treated me in the hopes my mental health will be better, but I've been getting worse, and it makes me question my decision. I'm asking for advice on mental health because I'm having trouble living.
It's been 2 months since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. We were together for 1 year before having to go long distance due to college and ever since then she would tell me how she didn't know if being in a relationship was good for her. She would bring up the subject multiple times than back off before anything would actually happen.
It was late January when I told her I couldn't keep hearing her doubts and we needed to break up; however, he said she didn't want to, so we stayed together. From that point on our arguments were worse than ever. Every time she would be in the wrong, she would say something along the lines of, "why does it feel like I can't do anything" rather than realizing that she would be the source of such arguments. I don't want to paint myself as the perfect person either, my communication skills were not the greatest during the beginning of our long-distance relationship, but I fixed a lot of how I did communicate.
Now for context, on Halloween we were not together, she went out with friends, and I was with my schools marching band (we had an away game that weekend). I was walking with friends when we found an intoxicated woman that fell in a ditch, and I had to go down and help. She was bleeding porously on her arm, and I ended up having to use my shirt as a torniquet. I texted my girlfriend about what happened, and she blew up on me for giving her my shirt. She ended up telling me that she met a "funny and tall" guy that gave her alcohol to get under my skin. I don't and still do not know what happened that night, but she said she never cheated.
Today she started talking to him a week after we broke up and it makes me question the trust, I had the entire time. I was told by one of my friends the other day that they call every night, and I ended up having a panic attack over the fact that I won't be the person she calls.
I know I sound stupid; I broke up due to how she treated me in the hopes my mental health will be better, but I've just been getting so worse, and it makes me question my decision.
I just want to be happy, but I haven't been able to sleep in days. Do you have any recommendations?
thank you
I didn't add any other aspects of the relationship that made me want to break up due to how large the post is already, let me know if you need more context, and I apologize for more of a rant rather than an actual post.

I stared, mouth dry, heart pounding, at the message from my boss – That awful combination of words that my coworkers and I pray we never see:
“You’re in the running for Employee of the Year.”
For him to send something so callous via email – that was just rubbing salt in the wound.
My eyes glazed over the wall of text that followed. I didn’t need to read the details – I’d cleaned enough of the prior winners off the walls and ceiling of the soundproofed breakroom to know exactly what the award entailed.
After that initial, deep pang of fear faded, denial flooded in to take its place.
I wasn’t just hitting my sales quota, I was blowing it out of the damn water – selling big ticket items daily. I never forgot to place the stickers with my barcode on the products, either, so when my customers checked out and it was scanned at the register, the sales should’ve automatically been linked to my employee ID.
We don’t receive commission – there are other ‘incentives’ to keep our sales up. I hadn’t been watching the numbers because I knew I was making sales left and right – I would've never even dreamt that I was at risk.
It was just a glitch with our computer system, I decided with a nervous laugh. It had to be – something IT could probably sort out in no time.
When I finally regained control of my legs, I wobbled to my manager’s office.
There was no miscalculation, he assured me. It was my employee ID that ranked at the bottom.
“The barcodes never lie, Graham.” He didn’t even bother making eye contact.
I was circling the drain figuratively, and if I didn’t get my shit together – literally – soon enough.
I begged him to review the camera footage – I knew he'd be able to see me making all those sales. “Don’t worry,” he added, with a smile vacant of anything remotely resembling happiness, “One way or another, we all contribute to the success of our company.”
I suppose that by then, he was long desensitized to the pleas of the desperate.
As I left his office, I assured myself that this wasn’t a death sentence.
Not yet.
I had another month until they recalculated our final standings, before shit would get real. Before I’d be given a limp handshake and an empty ‘Thank you for your devotion to the company’ as I was led down the hallway. Before I’d meet what lives behind the usually padlocked door in the shadowy corner of the breakroom.
Before I’d learn what it truly meant to sacrifice myself for the good of the company.
Word spread fast around the office.
Kevin gave me his smug, shit eating grin – maybe he thought that with me out of the picture, he’d finally have a shot with Elise.
Elise… I just desperately hoped that hers wouldn’t be the name drawn afterwards – the one selected to hose what’s left of me off the breakroom floor and down the stained, rusty drain.
As required, I began parking in my new designated space at the far end of the employee lot – the faded sign indicating ‘Reserved for Employee of the Year’ nearly swallowed up by the encroaching tree line. It added an extra ten minutes to my walk to our store, and I dreaded that added time in the oppressive Texas heat. The rational part of me knew that was soon to be a moot point, though.
One way or another, in another month, I wouldn’t have that parking spot. If I were lucky, I’d live to see another summer – live to see some other poor bastard’s car parked there.
If they hadn’t already heard the news, when the rest of my coworkers saw my car in that space, they knew what it meant. Don’t get too attached.
They started avoiding me like the plague. I didn’t blame them.
We all knew what would be coming next if my sales didn’t improve – it's the same thing that happens every time:
We’d gather for the mandatory meeting on the closing night of the fiscal year, all eyes on the sorry son of a bitch that had ‘won’ – the room so quiet that you could hear their muffled sobs. They’d receive what barely constituted a handshake from my manager while he muttered – dead-eyed – his appreciation for their devotion to the company.
Next, they’d be ushered off to the breakroom to meet ‘corporate’. No one tried to run – not after what happened in '19. Instead, the winner would always turn back, shooting us a desperate, final look – eyes pleading for someone, anyone, to intervene. And, of course, no one ever did.
Once the door closed behind them and that sound-proofed room swallowed up the last of their sobbing, begging – it was over. The rest of us would be sent home and I'd try to shower away that disgusting feeling – that sick sense of relief that someone else was sent to their death, and not me.
Cal – the nicest guy I’d ever met – he was the bottom performer two years ago.
He’d fallen so ill that he’d nearly wasted away and eventually, couldn’t work anymore. He must've thought that freed him from his contract – if he left, if he never came back into work, he’d be okay.
He must not have read the fine print in our hiring paperwork.
Although, to be fair, if any of us had read it, we'd never have signed it in the first place.
Cal was a warning to the rest of us, that there is no quitting in our line of work. If they have to track you down and find you (and I promise you that they will find you) – well, wouldn’t you prefer to go with your dignity, with the company compensating your loved ones – rather than be pulled from your home, kicking and screaming into the night?
Gina was employee of the year in 2023. Gina, with the kind smile, whom Kevin had set his sights on before Elise – and, just like Elise, she wanted nothing to do with him.
I still remember that day, the day they released the final numbers. The way Gina’s mouth hung open in confusion, shock.
When she finally managed to form words again, she too insisted that there must be some mistake. We all vouched for her to management – I’d personally seen her make so many sales.
Our manager simply reminded us that the barcodes never lie.
My name was the one drawn for breakroom duty that next morning, to pick up what remained of her smile and her simple gold wedding band, to be returned to her family. In one business week, they received a box containing a check, and everything left of her that wouldn’t fit down the drain.
Once the numbers are finalized, once your employee barcode has been slapped on that innocuous looking pink slip, well, your fate is sealed.
Kevin, in all his years at the company, has never parked on the far side of the lot. He has never even come close to becoming Employee of the Year, even though he couldn’t sell a bottle of water to a man dying of dehydration. He is sleaze incarnate and doesn’t even have the charisma to mask it.
I never understood how he did so well, but I couldn’t afford to think about him.
I had myself to worry about, and the glitch in the system. Any time I found myself in the breakroom, that ancient wooden door was an unwelcome reminder of the impending one-way trip it held for me.
I took special care to keep an eye on my sales, working my ass off, pulling double shifts. I pulled up the numbers as the end of month drew near, and couldn't believe it.
I was still dead last.
Somehow, there were days where less than half of my sales had been recorded to my employee number.
I didn’t understand.
I waited for the opportunity to sneak into the manager's office, and pull the footage myself.
I’d show the boss that something had gone wrong with the calculations, that the system was broken.
I finally got my chance. At first, I triumphantly watched myself make sale after sale – far more than had been credited to my account. For the first time in a month, I felt a sense of relief. I had evidence, and that had to count for something.
I switched feeds, to the camera nearer to the registers so I could confirm that the codes were being scanned. I'd seen several scanned successfully, and reached to turn off the recording. That's when I saw it.
Saw him.
Kevin.
It was subtle. I didn't realize what he was doing at first, until I recognized the pattern. Even then, I had to rewind and watch again for it to click.
It happened for nearly half of my sales that day. I saw him Intercepting the customers before they could check out – before I could get credit for my sales. And while he chatted them up, he discretely slapped his employee barcode over my own.
I confronted him that night – I was furious. He just smiled, smugly gave me that line about how the barcodes never lie.
He didn’t give a shit that he was sentencing someone else to death.
Hell, maybe he even enjoyed it.
Kevin had stolen credit for Gina’s sales – and god knows who else's.
Fucking. Kevin.
The day our numbers were to be finalized, he had the audacity to place his barcode over mine on a huge sale I’d made – he made no attempt at hiding it – right in front of me. He flashed me a grin as he did.
I caught up with the customers before they checked out and they kindly allowed me to peel the sticker off. I stuck it in my pocket to show my manager.
I pulled the video, too, and I stormed into his office, refused to leave until he watched it. I studied him as his eyes moved across the screen and if he was upset or shocked, he certainly didn't show it.
Finally, he met my eyes, and at the sight of the pain in his – well, for the first time, I felt a sense of relief.
Until I realized why he looked so miserable. Until he whispered, “I'm sorry, Graham. Someone has to receive that award tomorrow. It's out of my hands.”
I wordlessly handed him that damn barcode sticker of Kevin’s that I’d peeled off. He studied it for a long moment before he handed it back to me with a mere, “Why don't you hold onto this.”
I told Elise what had happened over lunch, and as much as I appreciated her outrage on my behalf, I was already resigned to it. I'd mainly wanted to warn her because I had a sick feeling she'd be the one Kevin went after next.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't devastated when, that night, my boss called me into his office and informed me of the final standings. Yeah, I knew it was coming, but I guess it's just human nature to hold onto denial – hope – until the bitter end.
For what felt like an eternity, we stared at each other in silence. The presence of the pink slip of paper lying on the desk between us, said more than enough.
Finally, my eyes drifted down to the form.
He’d already signed, but the space where my barcode – the series of vertical lines spelling out my death sentence – should’ve been placed, was empty.
I never knew how this part went, since it always took place behind closed doors. No one that ever filled out that form lived to tell the rest of us about it.
“I need you to place a barcode here before I send the form to corporate.” he said, eventually.
I opened my mouth for one final, impassioned plea for my life, but he interrupted me. He spoke each word slowly, softly.
“I’m leaving the room now. I need you to place a barcode here, before I send the form to corporate.”
He stared at me for a long moment, waiting for my barely perceptible nod of acknowledgement before leaving me alone in the office.
They processed the paperwork, and announced the Employee of the Year that next day.
Yes, I did feel a pang of guilt as I watched the smug grin fade, the blood drain from Kevin’s face as he stared in shock at the outstretched hand of our manager – as he was thanked for his devotion to our company.
I felt it again as I watched him plead all the way to the breakroom, as our manager spoke to him the same mantra we’d all heard before.
The barcodes never lie.
But I thought of Gina, of the countless others, and by the time I heard the door slam behind him – the guilt was already gone. In its place, the relief of knowing the rest of us were safe.
Well, at least until next year.

TDLR: Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. We broke up beginning of May this year. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is a “sl*t” etc. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker, he told me to leave them alone. I understand I fucked up if I had received a message like this from my daughter ex I’d be fuming too. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had but feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text?
Hello all, This is gonna be long. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to read and help with some words. I have no therapist or friends this seems like the best option.
I have never posted on here but seriously feel torn up. I know that I have been in the wrong in all this but I truly was dealing with a weed addiction till I finally sobered up and realized how fucked I am. This relationship has been a rollercoaster, but something I didn’t want to get off. She showed me many first things and it was my longest relationship of three years. She cared for me when I had no job, to every job, skinny fat, etc and I did the same with her struggles. To make a long story short back in August of 2023 I found my ex texting one of my bestfriends that worked with her at the time(I had quit that spot and found another job). No lust or crazy texts just work laughing but I confronted her about it it was jealousy and she said it was nothing.
After a few weeks come September I kept feeling this jealousy boil over. If she had texted anybody else I wouldn’t have said much but I felt like cause it was MY friend she should have brought up the convo they had even if it was light and funny. I was pestering her about him, she then decided to text him behind my back saying I’m being jealous. They text back and forth and he’s calling me a kid and disrespecting me even though he’s known me for longer, and she was laughing sending him laughing emojis and stuff. He then texted me asking me to fight because somehow she told him I threatened him. I got pissed she ruined a friendship and told her I’m done blocked her on everything. From September to December 2023 I was all alone focused on work and meeting new people. In December I rekindled with a girl I knew no feelings just stupid lust. While talking to the new girl, my ex sends me a heartfelt email since I had blocked her on everything, saying she’s sorry and understands I don’t want to hear from her but wishes me the best. I softened up and began texting her here and there, but still was talking to the new girl.
After a while in Jan/Feb 2024 I met with the girl I had rekindled with and we had done some things. However during this time I started seriously missing my ex and the way I felt comfortable around her. So I was talking to my ex again fully and wanted to make it work again. The problem came when my ex wanted to visit me since she’s long distance. She flew all the way to me and everything was good, till that new girl decided she wasn’t getting my attention anymore and texted my ex lying to her telling her I was begging for her etc. My ex broke down and asked why and I childishly said because of what she had done by texting my bestfriend and that we weren’t together. She cried in my arms and I balled with her cause I truly didn’t want to hurt this girl like this. I offered her to leave me and understood I fucked up. But to my surprise she wanted to stay and asked to fix our trust. I tried my hardest to fix it, I gave her my social passwords, she had my location, everything she wanted she got, even removed all girl friends to gain trust and she removed guys. However after some time around March 2024 I felt like all that I did wasn’t building up that trust again, and I began having flashbacks to trauma where I got left and cheated on within a week. I felt like my ex got back with me to seek revenge. So I started pushing her away scared.
During April she came again to visit me and booked a flight without asking me to pay or anything and genuinely asked to spend every minute of the day with me. I should have taken her coming to see me without me asking as her sign of true love but I ignored it.
Beginning of May 2024 came and our problems began. I started seeing her go out with friends to bars, even to houses I didn’t know and she would take a little longer to respond. I began thinking something is up due to my trauma and started being distant with her. She kept asking me to stop doing this, and cried a few times but I was truly scared of behind hurt and thought by being distant I’m protecting myself. She told me this once and it’s stuck with me “you’re gonna regret doing this”. After that convo she became cold with me too to the point where I didn’t even know who she was anymore. Our final convo was May10. We argued on the phone, and she blamed me for everything, I brought my ex bestfriend and her and how they hurt me she said she had already apologized and I said I did too for cheating but I knew what I did hurt more. She told me to leave her tf alone that I haven’t been the man she needs saying she’s seen better guys treat gfs better etc. That she wants time alone that she wouldn’t go around like I did with girls fucking randoms guys. I blocked her but I genuinely thought we would breakup and get back together as always.
However a week passed and I heard nothing. For some reason I felt like I deserved an apology cause during our arguments I was being more respectful and it felt like she kept saying stuff on purpose to hurt me. I saw she had logged onto my socials and I locked her out and logged out of her accounts cause I felt like it was better. However I was still stalking her Instagram following number and began seeing it go up fast. I started getting guys being suggested to me that follow her and I noticed it was all guys she used to work with and removed for “trust”. I felt broken cause it felt like she did what my first ex with the trauma did , just move on within a week. I felt sad, but the sadness turned to anger. I thought by burning bridges I could move on quicker. And I began blowing her up with calls to no answer, so I switched to texting and said some of the most heinous shit I’ve said to anyone. I then texted her mom telling her her daughter got a new type being childish but nothing too disrespectful to the mom. I texted the dad however and called his daughter names, which he got back at me with a threat and called me childish and that he’s happy his daughter isn’t with someone like me and to lose their numbers. I said lmao cool being even more childish.
I genuinely felt bad the same day I texted the parents this. I felt like bringing them into childish arguments and saying what I said made me look like a true child which I try not to be fast in situations but I was impatient and dumb. I felt like I was the one being stubborn in the relationship and pushed her away, then got upset when she did walk away I just didn’t appreciate her at the end and it hurts my soul I’ve felt this heaviness on my chest ever since like I lost the person for me. I know blaming it on the weed is childish but I feel like it game me that I don’t give a F feeling till it bit me in the ass. I spoke to my only friend and my parents who didn’t even accept the relationship at first due to culture, but they told me I had fucked up and told me with time they will heal, and that in time I can send a message to the parents if I wanted to to get my conscious clear and be able to move on with a better image.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. A part of me says apologize in the hopes of getting this girl back one day which I know is selfish, the bigger part of me just hates the image I left of myself cause I have never left a relationship in this manner

I never thought I'd end up feeling like a victim in my own relationship.
So, I met this guy, Tom, on a dating app. At first, everything seemed perfect. He was attentive, sweet, and we had this amazing connection. We started dating, and things moved pretty quickly.
But after a few months, I started noticing a shift. Our conversations became less about our lives and more about physical intimacy. Then it became clear that he was primarily interested in sex. Every date, every text seemed to steer towards it which was very awkward for me. :(
I tried to talk to him about it, hoping we could find a balance. I expressed how I wanted more emotional connection, more shared experiences outside of the bedroom. He would nod, promise to do better but no other luck.
One night, we had plans to go to a movie I’d been dying to see. I was really excited, hoping it would be a nice change of pace. But when I got to his place, he had other plans.
I started feeling like I was just an object, not a person with feelings and dreams. It hit me hard one night when he got frustrated because I wasn’t in the mood. His reaction wasn’t one of understanding but of irritation which was one big alarm for me.
I tried talking to friends about it, but many of them didn’t understand. They thought I was overreacting which I think you guys would do too.
Eventually, I decided to end it. It was hard because I did care about him, but I couldn’t keep sacrificing my emotional wellbeing. It was a painful experience, but it taught me a lot about what I truly want and deserve in a relationship
It’s still a bit of a sore spot, but I’ve learned to trust my instincts and stand up for my needs. Relationships should be about mutual respect and emotional connection, not just physical intimacy, I don't know if you all with agree with me or no. Just felt like sharing here. Open to your advices for my future relationships if I am wrong here.

TANKDOM!
I'm so glad my idea of doing a solid for Dracula by mentioning the town forum on air worked so well. It was totally my idea and not Caroline's. Don't listen to her. Probably isn't going to rain today.
Let me break down how this works. I, Hank 'The Tank' Jefferson, review the top stories on the forum and you, The Tank Nation, get to hear my unfiltered views on these posts because I am using voice to text software. That's right, no editing, just my first thoughts and- no, Todd, I don't edit it. Stop distracting me and go order another round! Where was I, oh yeah!
HOT TAKES!

• Alright, first up, some dumbass not seeing the beauty in late night street racing. Hey, Kevin, do you still have that blue Mustang? Oh, your kid does, well then he's doing a bang up job driving it. Just like his old man! [laughter detected]. Anyway, Rice Farmer, if that is your real name, lighten up. Let kids have fun! NEXT!
• I don't know why you need to announce you are visiting. This isn't an airport. I guess I'll see what these suggestions are...loading...loading...man, we need to talk to Cedar about these load time. ah, lets see... Parks- Dumb. Packard Mill- don't know why people would stay away, that place rocks. The Pub- banned...banned...banned...I don't see O'Malley's mentioned, so clearly people missed the point of suggesting the best places in town. NEXT!
• Bike lanes. Bikes are for children. Children don't need their own lanes. NEXT!
• Man, why is everyone always ragging on Susan! She's a sweetheart and trying to- huh, oh, not Susan Piper, the other one? Oh yeah, she's a bitch. NEXT!
• Oh a joke! I'll click in...Is the joke that you keep doing unpaid work for the city? You need to value yourself better, man. Also, ramen is for poor people. NEXT!
• Oh shit! Marble Bandit is back! SCOTTY SCOTTY SCOTTY! Did you know Marble Bandit is back? Me either! You think he wants to get drinks while he's in town! I don't have his number, do you? Well, can you ask around. I'm sure someone has it. NEXT!
• Yarn Bitch welcoming people- BORING. NEXT!
• James, man, we've been over it so many times. The multiple 15th street thing is only confusing if you make it confusing. The system is so easy. Come by O'Malley's and I'll explain it again. Fine, TODD will explain it again. Happy now? No I don't always take credit for things you do. Now give me that beer I ordered.

I'm bored now. I don't know how that little twerp who stole my idea does this. Whatever, I got it in before him. No I totally turned off the mic. I swear I did. Oh sh-

• Okay, where was I...Garden Gnomes? Is that prank going around again? Yeah, I know it's not original, I'm just asking if it's going around again! Listen, sweetheart, the kids in this town like to mess with garden gnomes. I don't know why you are making a fuss about all this. NEXT!
• I have told you a million times, Dracula, just pay off your HOA not to fine you anymore and you can do whatever you want. You make things too complicated. NEXT!
• Another pothole post...huh, fine, I'll click in. Oh, it's about that ramen. Yeah, see, this guy gets that it's a bad idea to repair things for free! NEXT!
• Listen here, sweetheart, your water wouldn't taste funny if you didn't choose to live in an apartment complex. Get a man and he'll buy you a house...No, that's not sexist to say. That kicker said basically that so I can say it too! I'm tired of you all trying to give opinions on my opinions. I'm just going to stop. No I'm not being chicken!

Until next time, I'm Hank 'The Tank' Jefferson. You stay classy Lower Duck Pond!

Hey guys,
I need some advice from men. I have dated a guy for almost 3 months now. The first dates were really good. We have so many in common, the same mindset and so on. The time we spent together was also very good and we built a good connection. I asked him, what his intentions are, is he looking for a relationship or something casual and he told me, that he likes me a lot und love to spend time with me, and that I would be the perfect girlfriend BUT he has issues to built feelings for me. He said, that has nothing to do with me, rather with him. ( he was married and his wife cheated on him 3 years ago) I asked him then, if I should pull back to protect myself before I get really deep feelings for him, but he said no, he would miss me and he really tries to open himself up for this, but I have the feeling, that he is only saying that, so that he can say “I told you” when things don’t working out. When we are together he is really sweet and shows me how much he likes me but out of nowhere he continuing to say things like “I am like a stone”, “I would like to cry sometimes but I have no emotions” “ I can’t feel anything”, So I am wondering if he only says this things because he is afraid of being hurt again, after his ex wife, or is he just playing games to get what he wants and then leave me ? I often made the experience, that when people saying things about themselves without being asked for, is mostly the opposite, like “ I am always honest and tell what I think”, then the person does the opposite and have issues with telling the truth. So does he says that, because he wants to be the stone with no feelings because he is afraid or is it just a warning, that I shouldn’t except anything serious from him ? Sorry for the long text and thank you for your time. I just don’t want to be delulu and interpret things where nothing is.