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I (30F) met this guy (34M) on Raya a month and a half ago. We immediately hit it off. Always on the phone, FT watching movies/shows every single night. Planning upcoming trips (he lives in Indianapolis and I live in Atlanta). After a week he planned his trip to Atlanta and we agreed I'd go to Indianapolis two weeks later, and he would come to LA where I would be two weeks after that. Shortly before coming to Atlanta, he asked me to go with him to TN with his parents the week before I go to Indianapolis (the week after he came to Atlanta). I said yes and we were both SO excited. I just think things changed in Atlanta. I found him to be pretty inconsiderate because we only went places he wanted to go, stayed out very late every night, and really only met up with his friends. His excessive weed smoking also bothered me. His last night there, I told him how I felt and he completely disagreed and thought that he was being considerate so we had a slight argument. The next day before I took him to the airport, I asked him whether the disagreement changed anything between us and he said no, so I believed that.
Over the next week after Atlanta, the conversations slowed and we didn't watch movies or FaceTime not even a single time. He never mentioned TN again and went without me. While in TN, he hardly texted me back, so I told him I felt things were different. He was a little defensive but apologized and said it was not intentional. Then over the next few days (leading up to me going to Indianapolis), conversation was still slow and still no FaceTime. I just felt in my guy things were different and was not comfortable going anymore (I was solely going to visit him, but when he came to Atlanta, his friends were there too)... but he assured me things were good and that he was excited for me to come.
I am now in Indianapolis and heading home today. I have very mixed feelings about how things went. I am sad that I'm leaving because it feels like this is the last time I will ever see him. Kind of like I'm grieving? The same level of inconsiderateness continued here. He had to work a couple of days and those days I was my by myself until the evening time, which I understood. He's a photographer and his income isnt steady so when he gets a gig he has to take it. I understand. But one of the gigs were pre-planned. He told me about it before I came and put my name on the list to go with him. The morning of the event, he told me that the attire was pink and dressy. Of course I didnt pack anything to fit the dress code so I couldnt go. That evening I told him I just wanted Chillis. He said, "we can go for you but I'm not going to eat anything because I don't like Chillis" and I was like okay cool, let's go where you want to go. He had to take a nap first. Then he had to shower. Then he has to roll his weed. THEN we went. I was starving. Kitchen was closed when we got there. I was so pissed and had a visible attitude. We settled for a taco truck. The next morning, we were laying in bed and I saw that he accidentally opened Tinder. He left for a quick gig and I texted him letting him know we should start using condoms since hes on Tinder. He basically scolded me and said he wasnt on Tinder and he just has the app and that it was immature of me to accuse first before just asking. I apologized. Later, we went back to try the place where the kitchen was closed. Had an overall good day. Then we're sipping wine and watching one of his shows to close the evening, and I suggest a show and he says no and just puts on another one of his shows. The wine hit me at that moment and I went off and told him he's been so inconsiderate despite how understanding I've been the whole trip. He didnt like my tone so he yelled back a little. I called my best friend to get her take on the situation and she did agree that he was inconsiderate but that i shouldnt have yelled. I accept full responsibility for my delivery but it was really how I felt.
I slept on the couch but woke him up to talk about it. I guess I was still emotional and yelling (which I didnt realize I was doing) because he got in my face and yelled, "watch your tone in my f***ing house" and I told him that I was going to look into changing my flight or getting a hotel. He said let's just go to sleep and talk about it when we wake up. At 11 he woke up and I asked if we could talk about it. He said after he gets out the shower. After the shower, the talk was short. It was mainly me asking him if he thought this was going to work. He said he wanted it to work but that he isnt confident.
Now were down to the last day, we've been having a good time the last two days, but we did agree that him coming to LA was too soon and expensive for now. Is it possible to turn this around? I do like him aside from him being inconsiderate. I really enjoyed us connecting before things got weird. But not I feel as though he's looking at me as someone who likes to cause problems, even though that isn't the case. I just feel as though I flew out to see him just to be disregarded. I want to turn things around and get back to where they were. Will pulling back a little, but not maliciously, leaving the ball in his court work?

Team. How are you all?
Recently I got the feeling that there were a few people in the sub who were struggling a bit to get started and even to figure out what they wanted to do.
I'm a big proponent for reading to find answers, so here are some books and free websites that should help you get started finding your way - and more importantly, identifying your customers.
(Please add your own suggestions, free resources would be greatly appreciated because of course not everyone can even afford a paperback book)
Books and Resources: - Libre Texts - a free library of resources to help any student get started : https://biz.libretexts.org/Bookshelves

• From Libre Texts - Ryan Buckley's book "The Parallel Entrepreneur". Chapter 9 on Ideation : https://biz.libretexts.org/Bookshelves/Business/Entrepreneurship/Book%3A_The_Parallel_Entrepreneur_(Buckley)/02%3A_Tactics/2.04%3A_Chapter_9_Ideation
  
• The Personal MBA - Josh Kaufman : https://elearning.mgibes.co.uk/mod/glossary/view.php?id=389&mode=cat&hook=0&sortkey&sortorder=asc&fullsearch=0&page=1
  
• MIT's Open Courseware online - How To Develop "Breakthrough" Products And Services - https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/15-356-how-to-develop-breakthrough-products-and-services-spring-2004/
  
• 100 Tasks - This is a service I have seen on Ted, but have not used.
  

I will keep posting links in the comments because my Reddit app is playing up for trying to post this.

Here's my situation:
I'm living in Spain and if I want to keep living here I need to learn Spanish. Time is not on my side so I would say I have max 60 days to get conversational, but let's say 45. I have no responsibilities and am ready and willing to commit 10 or more hours a day to learning the language.
Below are a list of tools I have currently using to learn the language.
Tools:
Dreaming Spanish
Assimil text book
Lingq
(I am also taking Spanish classes twice a week and of course I'm talking with people as much as possible.)
I think I have a good combination of tools to use, but my issue is arranging these things in a timely way that I get the most out of my learning. I'll spend 8 hours a day on dreaming Spanish if I need to for example, but I want to know that's the best possible route. If you had to make someone fluent as fast as possible with unlimited time during the day, how would you break up their daily studying?

Okay guys, this is a hard one because the question might look desperate, but i really am not. SO basically, i am 30F, single and dating through online dating hell for some years now. I am not unattractive but also not a supermodel, i do get compliments sometimes from men, so i know people are attracted to me sometimes (obviously not always). I am not overweight but have a little bit on my hips and big boobs, which just makes me not a size 0, but also not super big. Just quite average tbh. I would say i do have a cool style, i try to experiment and love vintage clothing, so i also do not look comepletely boring. I also have a lot of hobbies and am a creative/fun soul. I am interested in a lot of things deeply (music/philosophy/movies/books) which make me not the most boring person to talk to, if you are into these things as well, of course. I live in an big city and am outgoing, but not too excessively. So now you have a glimpse of who i am as a person. I like myself, i can say that in confident, i am over my self-hating years. Just living a peaceful, decent life tbh.
Now to the important part: i always get rejected from men. To that point, where i am really asking myself what i am doing wrong because i just don’t get it? Like we have a nice date, we talk and laugh a lot and i always enjoy the dates and it it seems like they do to. And then, the text message pops up „hey you are an amazing woman and super cool, I just didn’t feel the spark/it didn’t click for me/there are more friendship vibes/YOU NAME IT. And even though I would agree, there were no dates were I felt the spark or was blown away either, but I just think a nice/comfortable date is a great fundament for another one and even more? Like how do people decide so early that i am just not it? Do they just think I’m not hot enough?
Please let me know what your experiences/thoughts on this are or what you would suggest in my position because i start to think i‘ll just get a cat and never date again.

I’m in a fragile state rn so please be gentle lol
My family is wonderful and very physically present, but the older I get the more I feel like I don’t have the same relationships with them that they do with each other and it’s so painful. My brother and sister often hang out and go on trips together that are never really mentioned to me and I wish I could be close with my younger sister the way that I always see people talking about with their sister.
But I think the most painful is seeing my dad so close with my sister and always feeling like an outside with the two of them. We used to go on fun little trips together, just the three of us, but for the last several years it’s always just the two of them. I know I’m a few years older now and work full time while she’s in school so it’s harder for me to call off work and I guess I have more responsibilities, but they hardly even mention it to me before it happens, they might make a passing comment with the potential dates and then a few months later I hear that they’re leaving that weekend. Every single year when I find out it causes a rift between my dad and I, but it still happens again the next year.
It just happened again a few days ago, I asked if my dad could help me with something car related and he said he couldn’t because he’d be on this trip with my sister, but this time he truly didn’t say a single word of it to me. I said thanks for the invite, he told me he sent me a list of dates of possible trips back in January so I must’ve known, and then I scrolled through 4 months of texts and didn’t find a single mention of it. I sent him pictures showing that he had never once mentioned this trip to me, and he said something like “I’m sorry. You once bailed out when I got your ticket. I’m going to California in June if you want to come”. He offered to get me a ticket but it felt like he was throwing his hands up in the air saying fine, you can come too. And it’s obviously too late for me to call off work now, even if they did want me there.
There was a few years ago where I did have a ticket and then wasn’t able to go for reasons I don’t remember. So I guess he doesn’t want that to happen again maybe. I just don’t get why my absence wouldn’t make him want to put even more of an effort towards making sure I’m apart of the next trip since I wasn’t there on the last one. There was another year where I technically ruined their trip when I had to go to the psych ward, and a few months later my dad slipped out a comment on how much money it had cost him.
I don’t know anymore. I have been casually left out of things for my entire life and having it happen with my own family is just idek. I sent him a long text explaining how hurtful it feels to always feel like my company isn’t wanted and told him I didn’t want a reply, but it’s been a few days and he actually hasn’t said a word. My mom said he’s always a forgetful person and not to take it personally but it would just be nice if he could remember the person that made him a father

Hi all, I would love some advice on how to deal with partners who never check their emails. Most of the partners I work with are very responsive and will be available to answer any questions I may have. However, there's one partner who is practically non-verbal. I routinely have to email, text, send teams messages, call him and then visit him in his office if none of the previous methods of communication received a response. He constantly blows through deadlines and I've had to become extremely proactive in monitoring all of our cases so I can request an extension and not get sanctioned.
When he's actually available he can be really helpful, but it's just so inconsistent. What do you guys do in a situation like this? I don't want to burn any bridges with him as I actually like him as a person and appreciate his insight, but I just wish he was more responsive.

About a month ago I was broken up with (3 years long distance relationship) because I was becoming toxic. I got blocked on a few platforms and then unadded on others. I still really want her back though.
Her text seemed pretty final and that there was no going back. I still ended up trying to send an apology and told mutual friends about how I still want to move over there anyways. One day they ended up telling her about it and she replied back to me with a fairly harsh message telling me to not move there, don’t make any more apologies, don’t respond to her message, and to “kindfully fuck off”. It left me pretty devastated.
Everyone I talked to said that she probably just needed space and that she wasn’t actually angry with me. Since then she’s unblocked me twice on one platform but then blocked me again both times the next day. She also brought up a random memory of us to her friends at one point. This just left me confused.
About a month after the breakup, I sent her a text congratulating her on her upcoming graduation and asking if we could just have an open conversation some time. I figured she’s probably blocked my number so I had a mutual friend let her know that I tried to reach out. He told me that she just ignored him this time around instead of getting upset with him. I still haven’t heard anything back from her.
I just feel extremely confused in all of this and feel like I don’t know what my next move should be. I want to get back together with her since I’ve been working on myself, but if she’s not interested I’d just like to be friends at the very least. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do next?

i 20M have this friend 21M and we have been really great friends for the past 3 years and it was really fun and intelligent conversations. aside from that we have also had a lot of down and bad times in our friendship. i’ll give you all a short summary.
we found each other in a really bad time in his life, he was going thru depression and a lot of other mental health problems, i was a good friend and i loved and still love him and wish him well, when he got better in this regard our relationships shifted and i realized we don’t have much in common except that love for each other and care.
i decided to try to get to know him better but i was always met with excuses or phrases like ”i don’t want to change u so i will like u, i already like u as a friend”. however deep down even during our one and one hangout time i would always open conversations and try to relate and make him join a convo which for a introvert like me is really difficult already.
due to these reasons we found ourselves really fighting a lot , he started no caring in action but telling me he cares which confused me mentally. i decided to cut back on our interactions until he figures this stuff out. i texted him a little less and make convos more normal and i confronted him a lot about this and told me how i felt and how his inaction and basically avoidant friendship style with me btw and solely me is making me feeling alone and like i am fighting for a lost cause.
he promised to put more of an effort and i believed him, he like any other person in life has periods where he doesn’t wanna talk, usually i try to talk to him about it or thru it but in one conversation he told me that he just doesn’t want that, so i respected his wishes.
around 3 months ago, i saw he was entering that level and i remembered what he said so i decided to give him space, i decided he will talk to me once he is ready, until now he didn’t even text or ask about me, completely ignoring me and not communicating, i know from our mutual friends he is texting hanging out and enjoying life and i am still stuck here.
i really did love him like family and it feels like i lost my brother and dear confidant. i grappled a lot with these emotions and i can’t just drop him the way he dropped me, i want closure and i don’t know if i should confront him or just ignore him or have a conversation but i feel it would be really bad looking in my part to communicate with someone who wants nothing to do with me.or atleast showing me that.
i really need help, i don’t like how all my love turned into anger and hatred and i don’t like hating people i don’t like having to deal with this and i can’t have this stress anymore.
i just need closure and i don’t know what to do.

Here's my situation:
I'm living in Spain and if I want to keep living here I need to learn Spanish. Time is not on my side so I would say I have max 60 days to get conversational, but let's say 45. I have no responsibilities and am ready and willing to commit 10 or more hours a day to learning the language.
Below are a list of tools I have currently using to learn the language.
Tools:
Dreaming Spanish
Assimil text book
Lingq
(I am also taking Spanish classes twice a week and of course I'm talking with people as much as possible.)
I think I have a good combination of tools to use, but my issue is arranging these things in a timely way that I get the most out of my learning. I'll spend 8 hours a day on dreaming Spanish if I need to for example, but I want to know that's the best possible route. If you had to make someone fluent as fast as possible with unlimited time during the day, how would you break up their daily studying?

I have a really weird phobia of getting hacked, ever since i had a couple bad experiences of losing some really important accounts on a video game, something really strange happens
Worst thing that happens: if i can’t log into an account, or I suddenly get logged out of anything, i begin to cry, breathe extremely quickly, feel dizzy, my ears begin to feel tingly (idk why), and i begin to yell irrational solutions, shaking, and then prolonged paranoia after that. all those are happening at once
Bad: if i see the log in screen on the gane that I lost those accounts, I feel like crying, i feel dizzy, weird ear tingling, stomach gets tight, short breathing, and i fell my fight, flight and freeze response begining to act up
Least bad: if i see a password reset button, i feel my stomach getting tight, i begin to feel dizzy, and i get shivers down my spine and also the weird tingly ear thing
I don’t want to sound like ‘oH oNE Of tHOsE cRoNiCaLLY oNLiNE GeN Zs’ but I really want to know what this phobia is and how to fix it

Hello everyone,
I hope I am doing this correctly... A little over 2 years ago I lifted the geographic restrictions and moved with our daughter from Texas to Wisconsin. Ex gets to pick a weekend visitation once per month. He gets an extended summer possession. Spring break, and Christmas and Thanksgiving during odd years. Pretty standard for visitation for 100+ miles away except the extended summer.
Ex skipped Thanksgiving. He went an entire 6 months with only two phone calls to our child. Our child is four years old now. I have attempted to get him to call her and to exercise visitation but he says "it's not feasible." I refuse to do video call due to his behavior. He was yelling out my name and trying to talk to me rather than our child then he would make disparaging comments to our child about our living space.
Let me pause and explain that he is abusive to me. He was during the relationship and continues to do so. I am treated like a surrogate even though I have possession of our child 85% of the time, this is due to his lack of interest not me with holding. He insults me on a constant basis and threatens me, attempts to manipulate me. Anytime, there is a part where we need to compromise he will instead involve the police rather than working it out.
I.E. I asked him if he could please wait to pick to pick her up until the next day because it was 11pm at night and he hadn't seen her in six months. When I told him that I will no longer be facilitating video calls. When refused to reply back to him at midnight and he attempted to call.
Last spring break possession he threatened to keep her. Stating that she, "Already has a mother and father here so there's not need to return her." Yes, it's written. I only communicate with him via a messenger app. The summer before that he stated, "Just enjoy your time up north and leave us alone!"
He is over 10k behind in arrears but in Texas that's a different subject. I don't know if they even care about that in custody court. But I am working with the Texas OAG, I recently sent a copy of a text where he stated that child support is "extortion."
Oh, he agreed to all of these terms. We signed an agreement outside of court after two TRO's then had the judge approve and sign it. I think it's called a prove up.
Here's the issue... I have nothing to offer the judge that would be a better visitation model. I don't know if it's enough to stop visitation. I can't prove that he is abusive to our child but I know he yells at her and I know he has other people take care of her, practically strangers, not him. How? Her behavior when she returns and what she says. But she's four.
The judge may not believe her and if I get a GAL it's a coin toss. There's not physical proof. And when I did have physical proof I was told that it wasn't enough. Ex is adamant about his right to label strangers as our child's family. Calling people he barely knows her cousins or uncles and aunts. Labeled his partner as her "father." When I asked him politely to not do this as it may confuse her and cause issues later in life he blew up. Then again, he always blows up...
I also don't have any funds to get an attorney. I got lucky with my last attorney who was willing to go by a low income monthly basis. I'm worried my ex will keep her. I'm worried he might snap and do something in the moment... I'm worried that him not being consistent with visitation will impact her greatly. Our child is on a waiting list for therapy.
I want to shout at him to either take an active part in her life or get out... But of course I can't do that. I can't force him to get help or to change his behavior...
Any suggestions?
​

Sorry for the format, I'm gay, confused and on mobile.
I basically started giving myself exposure therapy, and started opening up to actual irl dating, going out, and experiencing life at 24! years old!!
On a night out, I met this cutie and flirted a bit, danced a bit, drank, I got a couple cheek kisses, got each other's socials and, when my friends and I went to leave they gave me a cutie little forehead kiss on my way out!! They were so respectful to my shyness and waited for me to be comfortable but also hyping me up through the night.
I later hit them up online and we had a very brief convo setting up boundaries and basically agreed that flirting and banter is ok. They even said they felt butterflies when I asked if they're comfortable with my attempt at flirting. This was about a MONTH ago, a long time for sapphics. I haven't seen them since cause life got busy.
We don't talk all the time but we do chat. They sometimes reply to my stories and compliment my photos. Sometimes when we're texting, I send sort of goodbye messages like "be careful, have fun, get home safe" messages when they're out with family/friends, but instead of ending the conversation they ask stuff to continue the conversation, like asking me about my day or they ask if I already ate dinner, etc.
They have a full time work, and go out a lot. There were times when I didn't really get any replies at all, for DAYS, but they did post. I don't mind not getting replies. But it gets confusing because they send good morning texts sometimes, or random updates about their life without prompting (I find it so cute!!)
I wanna ask them out. Not even on a date-date, just for a casual hang out to get to know them better but I don't really know if I should or shouldn't. I'm at a gray area cause I don't really know if this is still flirting or if they're just being friendly.
I just don't know. I feel like I started this whole "life" thing too late and I don't know how to read the vibe. Am I being socially anxious and delulu or are they just a really busy, friendly, extrovert.
And yes, in true sapphic manner we have already briefly talked about exes, trauma dumped, and shared hobbies. Ugh I don't know how to talk to girls.

Hi, I'm trying to create a formula that updates values between a master sheet and sheets that have been sorted into categories. For obvious reason, the category is listed on the master sheet but doesn't need to be on the sorted sheets, so i want to copy the first, say, 7 columns, skip column h, and then copy the rest. I had someone describe this as putting together lego blocks, but I am so new to this that while I understand it in theory, I have no idea what that might look like translated into code. so this is the code I want to copy (it's a condensed version since I have a bunch of categories but hopefully you get the gist)

 const ss = SpreadsheetApp.getActiveSpreadsheet(); const sheet = ss.getActiveSheet(); const historySheet = SpreadsheetApp.openById([sheet ID]).getSheetByName('History'); const historyLastRow = historySheet.getLastRow(); const miscSheet = SpreadsheetApp.openById([sheet ID]).getSheetByName('Misc'); const miscLastRow = miscSheet.getLastRow(); let lastRow = sheet.getLastRow(); let sortRange = sheet.getSheetValues(2,1,lastRow, 15); let historyCounter = 1; let miscCounter = 1; for (var i = 1; i <= sortRange.length; i++) { let category = sheet.getRange(i,7).getValue(); console.log(i + " - " + category); if (category == "History") { let rowValues = sheet.getRange(i, 1, 1, 15).getValues(); historySheet.getRange(historyLastRow+historyCounter, 1, 1, 15).setValues(rowValues); historyCounter++; } if (category == "Misc") { let rowValues = sheet.getRange(i, 1, 1, 15).getValues(); miscSheet.getRange(miscLastRow+miscCounter, 1, 1, 15).setValues(rowValues); feministCounter++; } 

I know that in theory I can get the ranges with something similar to this
let sortRange = sheet.getSheetValues(2,1,lastRow, 7); let otherRange = sheet.getSheetValues(9,1,lastRow, 6);
but I have no clue where to put that in term of code or how to paste it into the "row values" section, if any of that makes sense. If there's any help you can give me, that would be awesome. Thanks!!

Hey guys, I’m 25 and have never been in a relationship. It’s not that I crave it, but I definitely wouldn’t mind being in one, it just is that everytime I start to like someone they have never reciprocated the same feeling. Ever. A majority of the time, it will be guys that come to me first, make the first move, and I’ll go on a date with them, hang out once or twice, and the coming weeks I fall really hard. And they seem not interested anymore. I get super dramatic about it in my head and create scenarios and think about that person all day, it will ruin my mood if they don’t text me back, etc. But I try very hard to play chill and normal and not seem insane by telling them how I really feel, but they never feel the same way. They will be in my DMs wanting and begging to hang, or they will see me out at the bars and really be interested, and once we do, it’s over. I’ll ask and want to make more plans and they’ll basically ghost or say something along the lines of, “I’m busy, another time.” It’s getting really frustrating and makes me upset and I am confused if something is wrong with me since it happens so frequently, just with different people.

I (26F) have been dating this guy (31M) for almost two months now. We both want to be in a relationship but right now we are taking things slow. Lately he has not been making time to hang out with me, usually it’s just an hour here, two hours there. Weekdays I understand because he has several jobs he’s trying to juggle but now I can’t even count on the weekends. I got so excited when he said we could go for a walk the other day and we were together for maybe two hours before he said he had to go home and eat and get some planning done for the week (which in this case we could have totally done together) I had been waiting days to hang out and I was really disappointed, and later over text I told him how I felt about everything and basically what I said here. I reminded him that quality time is really important to me and he agreed and admitted he hasn’t been around too much and that he’s been caught up with his own stuff lately and that we’ll have more “chills.” I’m not exactly sure what to do in this case because I know he’s trying to get his life in order but it’s hard to accept such minimal effort and I don’t like how he’s being so nonchalant about everything because I’ve been very clear about what I want and need in a relationship.
TL;DR If this guy doesn’t have time for me should I lower my expectations until he gets his life in order and accept the few hours he gives me? How long should I let this continue?

this is gonna be a rant bc i need to get it out, but also i’m wondering if this has happened to anyone else. i’m currently a groomer trainee and i had just finished my 200th dog on the 16th, so i told my SL to move me to SIT on friday of last week so he didn't have to worry about it today, but he didn't do it and he decided to take yesterday off because he wanted a 3 day weekend. so im still not making commission and my ASL doesn't know how to change it either. so i texted my PSL and my DAT to figure what to do and also to let them know. well today i reminded him to move me up to SIT and he told me this morning i won’t be able to move up to SIT because i have 2 incidents, but 2 people before me were moved up with 2 incidents, which one of them moved up maybe a month prior to today, and that would mean that i wouldn’t be able to move up until february. i’m just very confused at this point and i can’t find any P&P’s stating what he said was true or not. because at this point i feel like he’s lying to me so he doesn’t have to own up to his mistake and take blame for screwing up. also i just want to say this isn’t the first time he’s tried to make up an excuse for not doing something correctly.

this is gonna be a rant bc i need to get it out, but also i’m wondering if this has happened to anyone else. i’m currently a groomer trainee and i had just finished my 200th dog on the 16th, so i told my SL to move me to SIT on friday of last week so he didn't have to worry about it today, but he didn't do it and he decided to take yesterday off because he wanted a 3 day weekend. so im still not making commission and my ASL doesn't know how to change it either. so i texted my PSL and my DAT to figure what to do and also to let them know. well today i reminded him to move me up to SIT and he told me this morning i won’t be able to move up to SIT because i have 2 incidents, but 2 people before me were moved up with 2 incidents, which one of them moved up maybe a month prior to today, and that would mean that i wouldn’t be able to move up until february. i’m just very confused at this point and i can’t find any P&P’s stating what he said was true or not. because at this point i feel like he’s lying to me so he doesn’t have to own up to his mistake and take blame for screwing up. also i just want to say this isn’t the first time he’s tried to make up an excuse for not doing something correctly.

I recently moved house and it took me a while longer to get back to everything than I would have liked, but upon logging back into the game, I am no longer the leader of the clan that I created, how is this possible and who do I contact to rectify this issue. Can someone please help me. I would greatly appreciate it!
Kind regards, The Pixel Monster.

Comparing Kentucky VA loans to Kentucky USDA, FHA, and Fannie Mae loans in Kentucky

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Kentucky VA loans Compared to Kentucky USDA, FHA, and Fannie Mae loans in Kentucky

When comparing Kentucky VA loans to Kentucky USDA, FHA, and Fannie Mae loans in Kentucky, several factors come into play, including credit score requirements, income considerations, work history, debt ratios, and how each loan type treats bankruptcy and foreclosure. Let’s delve into the benefits and differences of each loan type:
Kentucky Mortgage Credit Score Requirements:

• Kentucky VA Loan: VA loans typically have more flexible credit score requirements compared to conventional loans. While there’s no specific minimum score set by VA , most Kentucky VA lenders often look for a credit score of 620 or higher. I can do VA loans down to a 580 credit score.
• Kentucky USDA Loan: USDA loans also offer flexibility, with no minimum score required per USDA guidelines, but most Kentucky USDA lenders will want a 640 score or higher. I Can do Kentucky USDA loans down to a 580 credit score on a manual underwrite.
• Kentucky FHA Loan: FHA loans are known for accommodating borrowers with lower credit scores, often accepting scores as low as 500 with a 10% down payment or 580 with a 3.5% down payment.
• Kentucky Fannie Mae Loan: Fannie Mae loans usually require a minimum credit score of 620 or higher, although some lenders may have slightly different requirements.

Kentucky Mortgage Income and Work History:

• Kentucky VA Loan: VA loans consider your stable income and employment history but may be more lenient if you have a history of military service or steady employment. 2 years of employment needed for loan application-minimal job gaps
• Kentucky USDA Loan: USDA loans often have income limits based on the area’s median income, and you need a stable income source. 2 years of employment needed for loan application-minimal job gaps
• Kentucky FHA Loan: FHA loans consider your income stability and work history, with guidelines that vary by lender. 2 years of employment needed for loan application-minimal job gaps
• Kentucky Fannie Mae Loan: Fannie Mae loans typically require a stable income and employment history, similar to conventional loans. 2 years of employment needed for loan application-minimal job gaps

Kentucky Mortgage Debt Ratio Requirements:

• Kentucky VA Loan: VA loans generally have more lenient debt-to-income (DTI) ratio requirements, often allowing for a higher DTI compared to conventional loans. VA loans can get approved on much higher debt to income ratios vs FHA, USDA and Fannie Mae loans. 65% or higher in some situations but if manual underwrite, will want the ratios closer to 41% with good residual income for VA loan. VA loans are the only type of loans that require a residual income…FHA, Fannie Mae, USDA does not have residual income requirements
• Kentucky USDA Loan: USDA loans have very strict DTI ratio limits, typically around 41% to 45% max on the backend ratio and 33% or less on the front end. By far the most restrictive on debt ratios vs FHA, VA, and Fannie Mae loans
• Kentucky FHA Loan: FHA loans also have relatively flexible DTI ratio limits (56% back end ratio possible on a AUS approval), making them accessible to borrowers with moderate levels of debt. Front end ratio max 45%
• Fannie Mae Loan: Fannie Mae loans follow standard DTI ratio guidelines similar to conventional loans. TYpically the second most restrictive on debt ratios right behind USDA loans on tighter debt to income ratio requirements, with the max back-end ratio no more than 50% –Front end ratio max 45%

Kentucky Mortgage Bankruptcy and Foreclosure Requirements:

• Kentucky VA Loan: VA loans are more forgiving of past bankruptcy or foreclosure, often requiring a waiting period of 2 years for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and 1-2 years for foreclosure.
• Kentucky USDA Loan: USDA loans have specific waiting periods after bankruptcy (3 years for Chapter 7) and foreclosure (3 years).
• Kentucky FHA Loan: FHA loans have shorter waiting periods after bankruptcy (2 years for Chapter 7) and foreclosure (3 years).
• Kentucky Fannie Mae Loan: Fannie Mae loans typically require longer waiting periods after bankruptcy (4-7 years) and foreclosure (7 years).

Advantages and Disadvantages of Kentucky VA loans, USDA, Fannie Mae and FHA:

• Kentucky VA Loan Advantages: Zero down payment, competitive interest rates, no private mortgage insurance (PMI) requirement, lenient credit and DTI ratios, and flexible eligibility criteria for veterans and active-duty service members.
• Kentucky VA Loan Disadvantages: Funding fee (although it can be rolled into the loan), limited to eligible veterans, service members, and some spouses.
• Kentucky USDA Loan Advantages: Zero down payment, lower interest rates, flexible credit requirements, and available in eligible rural areas.
• Kentucky USDA Loan Disadvantages: Limited to rural properties, income limits, and property eligibility criteria.
• Kentucky FHA Loan Advantages: Low down payment (3.5%), flexible credit requirements, competitive interest rates, and accessible to first-time homebuyers.
• Kentucky FHA Loan Disadvantages: Mortgage insurance premiums (MIP), stricter property standards, and limits on loan amounts.
• Kentucky Fannie Mae Loan Advantages: Available for a wide range of properties, competitive interest rates, and options for low down payments.
• Kentucky Fannie Mae Loan Disadvantages: Stricter credit and DTI requirements, potential for private mortgage insurance (PMI), and limited flexibility for borrowers with past financial challenges.

In summary, choosing the right loan type depends on your specific financial situation, eligibility criteria, and property location. VA loans offer excellent benefits for eligible veterans and service members, while USDA, FHA, and Fannie Mae loans provide alternatives with their own advantages and considerations.

Joel Lobb Joel Lobb Mortgage Loan Officer

American Mortgage Solutions, Inc. 10602 Timberwood Circle Louisville, KY 40223 Company NMLS ID #1364
Text/call: 502-905-3708 fax: 502-327-9119 email: [kentuckyloan@gmail.com](mailto:kentuckyloan@gmail.com)
http://www.mylouisvillekentuckymortgage.com/
NMLS 57916 Company NMLS #1364/MB73346135166/MBR1574
The view and opinions stated on this website belong solely to the authors, and are intended for informational purposes only. The posted information does not guarantee approval, nor does it comprise full underwriting guidelines. This does not represent being part of a government agency. The views expressed on this post are mine and do not necessarily reflect the view of my employer. Not all products or services mentioned on this site may fit all people. NMLS ID# 57916, (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org). Mortgage Loan Officer

Goddam, this shit is depressing, I can't get her out of my head, I just don't know what to do. I scroll through Reddit, people are talking about relationships, and I think about her, I go out, and see a couple, I think of her, I'm lying in bed trying to sleep and I think of her. There doesn't even have to be a clear cause, she just pops into my head, and I can't do anything to get her out of there.
I worry about her, is she doing ok mentally? Are people around her treating her right? Is she stressed out? How's her job going, i want to know, but whenever I ask her, I just get a generic answer, we used to talk about it a lot more, she'd tell me about her day, about what had happened, we'd joke around, if she had any issues, she'd talk with me about it, and I'd do my best to help her feel better, but lately it's been happening less, she's started texting in general a lot less, bit whenever I bring it up, she just dismisses it.
It feels like we're drifting apart, more accurately, like she's drifting away whilst I'm tied down, unable to move, just stuck in place, forced to watch it happen, unable to do anything about it, and I hate it, i don't even think she's aware of what's happening, things will seem normal to her, until suddenly, they're very much not, and there's no way back.
I want to believe her, when she tells me that she's just really busy, that she's ill, that she's just always asleep, I want to believe her, because she's not shown any indication that she is lying, or that she wouldn't tell the truth, and I want to believe her, because it'd hurt too much to know that she hasn't been telling the truth, I've become so emotionally invested that I can't bear the thought of it, but does this mean I've been blinded to obvious signals? That I'm overlooking serious issues because of my feelings, should I be thinking with my head instead of my heart? When it comes to her, it feels like I've never been able to do the former.
I don't know what to do, for a time, it felt like we were getting closer, it felt like we'd developed a connection, it felt for a time like we were going to get together, like it was destined to happen type shit, stars aligning and all that, even though I don't usually believe in that shit, but recently, it feels different, it feels like we'll never be more than friends over messages, it feels like she doesn't actually ever want to meet up, it feels like she only talks to me when she's got nobody else to talk to.
I just feel lost, I don't know what I've done wrong, or what I could do to fix this, I dunno if it was just unfortunate timing, or something else, I care about her so much, I'd do absolutely anything for her, but it doesn't seem to matter, I don't know how to talk to her about this, I don't want to pressure her, I don't want to scare her off, I just don't want to hurt her, she knows I like her, but I don't think she knows just how much I like her.
Why the fuck is this shit so damn complicated?

We were in a LTR for about a year and a half ('official' or 'exclusive' for about 10 months). By the second half of our official time together, we were fighting a LOT. They ended up breaking up with me in a fit of hysterical rage and unfounded anger that resulted from a fight we were in the midst of, at 2am one weekday.
No attempts at communication until About A week later, when they, while drunk, text and call me. After several pleading attempts on their part, we have a couple (long) phone talks and then 'rekindle' but strictly in a physical way (how our relationship started). We sleep together and hang out a bit for about 2 weeks before they go on a trip. While gone for about 10 days we communicate regularly, lots of "I miss yous" and "wish you were heres," etc. Upon arrival back home, they ghost. I'm blocked everywhere. They then make 1 attempt to call me about 3 weeks later (on a Fri evening, presumably inebriated). I don't call back (until about a month later, at which point I'm blocked again).
Six and a half months go by.
(Throughout i tried to reach out in several ways)
Then, at almost 12:30am in the middle of the week, they call me. They want to have sex. This is more or less how our relationship began (ie, very casual, and almost strictly physical). I'm groggy, as I was about to doze off, and OK say come by. Over the phone and when they arrive at my building, they insist on condoms (something we never used). I'm fine with that, I say let's go to the store and I'll get them. They don't want to go. They want me to go by myself, while they wait by my house. Reluctantly, I try a couple of places within a block, but no luck. I tell them this, they huff and puff, and they come upstairs anyway. All the time they're saying they'll leave right after sex (something I dont like. This has been their MO with previous partners most of the time). We have sex, cuddle, have sex, etc. The entire time saying they're going to leave right after (also a common trope at the beginning of relationship). They don't. We fall asleep, and both wake up before going to work. There was no talk about the past, and everything was kept light.
Although I know everyone will say what I did was probably a mistake (picking up the call, and accepting the encounter), I was constantly thinking about them before and hated the idea of never seeing or speaking to them again, and from previous talks, believed that they would never return. What would you really do?
And for people who have had this happen, how did you deal with it? How did you react over time?
I have not reached out as I'm surely still blocked (they even said so while we were in bed together). Do you think this deserves any further attempt? Even if we were to communicate again, part of me wants me to stand them up, part of me wants to get them to talk and acknowledge their behavior, and, inevitably, part of me will want to get intimate with them (and yes, our last encounter was not just physical/mechanical -- it had tender moments, softness, and they even teared up a couple of times).
What do you think? Also, AMA.