I wonder if someone on this sub have similar thoughts about it, but i find mbti more and more psychically draining for couple of reasons and some are connected strictly to our personality type, so it seems more comfortable and proper to write about it on INFP sub, cause i think we might carry this burden together.
Firstly it is how some users take mbti tests to their hearts despite of its low scientific credibility and try their hardest to fit into the stereotype of their type to not be called "fake" or smth. Sometimes it follows entitlement over other types that are not as "powerful" personas as them, which is bananas, i have no other words for it. When it comes to this i tried to ignore it and don't care+didn't ask, but when you see it often, it gives just irritation and cringe.
I know it's not a great discovery to tell, but how limiting it is to see other people as types, when everyone is a complex being? It may seem helpful at first, cause someone from the outside suggests who you are and who are you compatible with, but it's still just a stereotype based on a theory, a bubble. You're not your functions, others aren't either. Some time ago i've seen a post from mbti, that speaks about it in more detailed way, i will link it here: https://www.reddit.com/mbti/comments/6ut8wwhy_i_quit_using_mbti/
Other reason is how the INFPs are portrayed online and this is our burden to carry, like i mentioned in the beginning. Every type sucks when it's unhealthy but i have the impression that our type and ESTJ type are the most demonized ones when it comes to the topic of unhealthiness, like people have no pity over us like they have for other types and although it can sound like a victim mentality on my part, cause well, i'M aN iNfP, it's really not the case. I'm concious about my flaws, most INFPs i know are also concious of theirs and well, we take the responsibility like mature people, it's basic societal norm i would say. But from what i've seen on reddit, instagram and quora it's just a lot of people writing stereotypical and straight up offensive shit about a whole type, because of one or two INFPs that had made a mess in their lives. The stereotyping is a different topic but it's also irritating, that on many posts or memes we are portrayed as shy, lazy crybabies, unambitious, dumb or boring, like it's easier for others to find our negative traits than the positive ones, cause from the description of stereotypical INFP we might be seen as a perfect black sheep for venting frustration from someone's life. Also the portrayal of someone as "an artist driven by emotions" is super limiting and depressing for a person who has an ambition to f.e. find a good paid scheduled job or try to master new skills like programming, but it's also connected to my former ramblings about seing people as types and the bubble it creates.
Ok, the last thing i want to mention are golden pairs. I have a problem with golden pairs and tbh any compatibility suggestions, it's kinda personal, but maybe someone has similar observations. I woudn't be in a relationship with someone who is said to have completely different values, what i've seen for my entire life is that similar values and goals are what connects people to each other. And then i open app like Boo and see that they show me the biggest compatibility with ENTJ - i know it can be explained with functions, but THE WHOLE THEORY IS INVALID. So these ships doesn't make any sense outside of this bubble and only thing they do is romanticising pairs of stereotypical people that don't exist for others who define themselves as they mbti type to just end up heartbroken, cause they have discovered the person they're dating is not this stereotype they were into- and on the stage of dating they would probably supplement their lack of knowledge of a person with stereotype, cause f.e. they have met on Boo or other MBTI dating site, so the idealization might be hard to ignore for anyone who meets people that way. Or to think that the other person owes them some form of relationship cause they could be a golden pair....
Wow, it was a lot. If someone read all this angry stream of conciousness, i'm thankful but also sorry, cause it was a lot of negativity here. I'm curious if someone will agree on this or maybe show me other side of MBTI that i missed here, but i just wanted to vent. Probably will take a break from MBTI for some time and tbh i totally recommend it if you feel similar way with mbti community.

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

​

spoilers for Ace Attorney Investigations 1 ahead
In the public eye, Turnabout Airlines has a lot going against it. It's not from a well-liked game, and there's the community's collective and arbitrary dislike of "filler." Neither of these are problems for me - I like I1 and I think "filler case" is an inherently bad term - but I can see the writing on the wall, and it says "nobody else cares about the Zinc Lablanc case."
My point is I don't expect I-2 to place very high, but I'm still arguing on its behalf because it SLAPS!!!! Since I want to keep this down to one comment, I'll focus on this case's two central figures and why they make it stand out.
post-writeup note: yeah the single comment part didnt happen oops, but this will still primarily be me talking about these two guys alone

Rhoda Teneiro

Inside you, there are two flight attendants. One is a girlboss. One is cringefail. They're both Rhoda Teneiro.
There are lots of AA characters (mostly defendants) whose existence can be summed up as being vaguely nice and having Bad Things happen to them. They don't do much for me, I just kinda see them as deliberate sympathy bait on the writers' part, so it's hard to really connect with them as individual characters.
Rhoda, for as nice and hapless as she is, doesn't fall into that, I feel. She has a lot going for her. For one, I just think it's really cool to have a character whose arc revolves around false accusations. It's weird to acknowledge, but the series rarely seems to delve into the immediate aftermath of a witness's false conceptions of murder. The closest we ever get is Lotta in 2-2, which I do like, though I like Rhoda's arc just a bit more.
Rhoda's introduced with the genuine belief that Edgeworth is guilty of murder, and she's the main source of conflict in the early parts of the case. This steadily transitions into Rhoda taking Edgeworth's side, and finally culminates in Rhoda herself as the accused. It's neating seeing both parties in an accusation - the accuser and the accused - depicted in the same character. I especially like Rhoda's slow coming around to Edgeworth, they do a good job depicting her guilt, and it's satisfying seeing her assert herself more in her pursuit of the truth, as if Edgeworth's straight-edge attitude is rubbing off on her. They're cool kindred spirits, even if Rhoda's more personal feelings aren't going anywhere.
I don't mean to downplay Rhoda's role as the case's defendant stand-in, either. After seeing her taking risks with her job and powering through her own suspicions for Edgeworth's sake early on, it's cool seeing him return the favor by defending her after he'd already been let off the hook and very well could've walked off unharmed. Yeah of course he's Edgeworth, we as readers know that he wouldn't, but this is still a good character moment for the both of them. I personally feel this is where Edgeworth is generally at his best in the duology: not undergoing any crazy development like in the trilogy, but in being a pre-developed, static protagonist who instead serves to bring out the best in others (see I2-5 for another example).
I don't have a ton to say on Rhoda on her own, a lot of my deeper feelings on her hinge on another character, but I like her a lot. As a player in I-2's mystery, she fills her role well.
anyway that's enough of the CRINGE plane girl, onto the COOLER plane girl

Cammy Meele

"The narrow road" is a phrase of biblical origin, describing the ease at which a person can fall to sin. The virtuous narrow road is long and tiresome to traverse, whereas the wide road is easy and carefree, a constant temptation to those suffering in their attempts to stay moral.
Anyways, Cammy Meele.
When Cammy's introduced, she's silly. Goofy, even. She's a simpleminded slacker who can't stay awake through a whole sentence. It's established that Rhoda does like 99% of the work between them, and it's easy to see why. The takeaway from Cammy's first impressions? She is dumb.
Then she pulls her hair back and pulls out a bubble pipe and what the fuck she's actually cool as hell????
I really like Cammy's reveal. It kinda comes in at the turning point of the series, where they really start to pop off with these villain transformations. From here to SoJ, it feels as though every other killer has one, even killers already established as bad guys. They're cool and hell, but like... do we need them? Maybe it's just me, but I'm not a huge fan. I feel like it stifles any coherence in a killer's character, making their pre- and post-transformation selves feel like two different entities.
All that to say, this doesn't apply to Cammy. It's easy to reduce her to "smart person pretending to be dumb" and leave it at that, but that's missing the entire context of why she would pretend in the first place. This isn't like Alba or 6-5's killer, where her decision to go Evil Mode is arbitrary just to put on a show for the audience. Cammy isn't putting on a performance for the sake of it. Her transformation doesn't exist for pure shock value.
A benefit of Cammy and Rhoda being coworkers (which I'll get into more later) is that the story doesn't need to put aside establishing the facts for two separate characters, when what applies to one equally applies to the other. With Rhoda, we see firsthand that a smart, driven woman who puts her all into her work struggles for even an ounce of respect. Through that, as well as Cammy's general placidity, it's easy to infer the latter's thought process. That being: the world sucks, so suck harder.
I-2 only gives us a snapshot of the flight attendants' work life, and it's not an appealing one. The clientele includes Zinc Lablanc, and I feel that's all that needs to be said. Cammy's underperformance compared to Rhoda is plain to see, yet it doesn't register at all with the plane's captain in his brief appearance. He blatantly views Cammy more in terms of Wanting To Fuck than as a worker, let alone the accomplished, intelligent individual she is. She studied [vague subject] abroad, and this is the thanks she gets.
Flying against the wind is a fruitless endeavor. You're just wasting energy, and if you end up getting anywhere at all, it'll be further back than where you started. That's the attitude that makes people like Cammy the way they are. She's a smart woman - smart enough to come up with a split-second cover-up for murder - but what good is her intelligence when her place in the world doesn't call for it? When she can game the system just by being exactly what it expects her to be? When all she needs to do to get away with high crime is to put on a dumb grin and look pretty?
It's a relatable feeling for anyone who's worked a shitty job, or been under the thumb of authority, or been a woman - that feeling being the almost survivalistic draw to conformity. Cammy dealt with it firsthand, and through her experience, saw a golden opportunity to reap the benefits of others' ignorance, all for as little effort as possible. I do want to stress that she's still, at her core, lazy. It's really just the cluelessness she plays up. Her willingness to take her place on the totem pole so long as she can benefit speaks to a darker side of her "go with the flow" mentality.
The tragic irony of Cammy's defeat is one who deliberately plays the fool coming undone because she was too smart for her own good. She took her own intelligence for granted, both in her day-to-day as she lazes away in her menial position, and in her murder scheme as she inadvertently indicts herself via bilingualism. For as tempting as the "easy road" is, taking it and shirking her potential forced her into a corner. The cunning that concocted her false persona in the first place, only to be shelved the further she slipped complacency, ended up her undoing.
Cammy's two sides - the silly, sleepy dope and the calculated killer - are intrinsically linked, and looking into why the former even exists is deeply telling of her character. I hate seeing this entire facet of her summed up as just a "gimmick."
I like Cammy a lot. I think it's interesting how she's not remotely sympathetic - she's pitiable, at best - but, I dunno, I still feel like the nature of her deception makes it easy to root for her in some areas, while totally detesting her in others. She's fun, she's funny, and her weaponized pick me behavior is a unique tactic for a killer. She's one of my favorites for sure. Investigations killers specifically, there's maybe like, three that I prefer over her?
Perhaps that doesn't sound too impressive but whatever, she's still a very unique character and it's a shame she's so frequently downplayed by people who see "actual, serious character with any merit worth discussing" and "hot girl" as mutually exclusive.

WHY?

The question you (yes, YOU) have probably been asking throughout this is: why?
Why does Rhoda's development matter? What's important about Cammy acting dumb? Why do you care so much about the plane case you fcking idit, are you st*pid?
More to the point: what's the point of Turnabout Airlines? I mean, if you ask me the main point is to set up the single best use of a game mechanic in the series, perhaps its single best moment period. But is there a point besides that? So what if Rhoda and Cammy are actually incredibly deep. Anyone could write at length about a character and argue that like, Lisa Basil is actually deeply nuanced and has a reason for everything she does. But is there a reason for everything these two do, beyond making a cool airplane murder mystery?
The deeper conflict I-2 presents, beyond the murder mystery, appears to be a simple matter of hard, honest work vs the easy way out. The heroic deuteragonist readily accepts the burden of her work, while the villain is a shameless slacker. That's a basic message that I feel works fine. But I also feel it runs deeper than that, and it goes back to Cammy and Rhoda's relationship.
Every decision a writer makes is for a reason, and here, there was a deliberate choice to make Cammy and Rhoda peers. Equals, at least on paper. Both have the same struggle of others' perceptions holding them back, and the way they each cope with that is more similar than you'd think.
When the degree of separation between two characters is so small, how does the narrative justify casting one as a villain and a murderer?
Beyond the obvious, what makes Cammy the bad guy in their relationship is how she treats someone in the exact same boat as herself. It's not just that she's being mean and being mean is BAD! It's what Cammy's bullying represents.
It's one thing to exploit a system in your favor, to play up a preconceived image to make a fool of the underestimators. In that case, the victims of Cammy's deceit are wholly deserving, with their manipulation brought upon by their own failure in taking her seriously. But taking advantage of people, even those who have it coming, is dangerous. The more you start to see human beings as an asset, the harder it is to experience real empathy. Rhoda is someone Cammy should have no trouble at all finding common ground with, yet she's the one who suffers the most from Cammy's actions.
It all culminates in Cammy losing her humanity on a complete base level. Her act of murder isn't planned or calculated, but the instinctive act of someone whose perception of others has become so detatched from her own self-centered bubble, that she doesn't think twice before taking a life until it's too late.
Cammy's a pawn. She's a pawn to the smuggling ring, and she's a pawn to the system tying her down. She knows she's a pawn, and she milks her role for all its worth, satisfied in the luxuries afforded by her performance, yet painfully aware she's more than the role she plays. And, by her own will, it's a role she's stuck in.
The ouroborous of fatalism between Cammy and Rhoda is vicious. Cammy's incessant put-downs keep Rhoda from rising beyond the role of a polite, humble doormat, and that only further enables Cammy to underachieve to her heart's content. Both women operate on unhealthy, self-destructive mindsets. The difference between them being Cammy, though far from the root of the problem on her own, is a contributor all the same.
She strays from the narrow road in favor of the easy, comfortable path, eschewing solidarity in the name of her own meagre comforts. And I do mean meagre. Like I said, Cammy's only a grunt within the smuggling ring, and her shucking responsibility only marginally spares her from the disrespect of people like Lablanc. In the end, Cammy's pursuits accomplish nothing, while the one who stands her ground in the face of hardship walks away from it all with the validation she'd craved.
Maybe I'm looking too deep into the dumb plane case, but idk. While the killer is by no means sympathetic, the flashback detailing her immediate reaction to having committed the crime is more than like, Portsaman gets, so I feel like there's a degree of acknowledgement towards something deeper behind their actions. Compared to the rest of the series, I don't think it's too far of a stretch to glean this sort of reading from I-2. The concept of the systemically downtrodden perpetuating their suffering through others resurfaces in both the DGS series and this game's direct sequel. While I prefer how they handle it, I can also appreciate the grounded nature of Airlines' approach.

I Like Planes

I didn't realize it until now but the only Investigations case I like more than this one is the other plane-centric case and I think that's very funny, I doubt anyone else will but I do and that's what matters
Anyway Turnabout Airlines is a pretty cool case and I would be very happy to see it recognized as such, that's all thank you <3

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Romuna Administrative Orbital Headquarters, United Confederation Occupied Territories of Earth (QUAL-ZANV)
May 8, 1945
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Commander Dunajski
- - - - - -
We were the watchful eyes over Earth. That was my job. The only thing second to that was the search for the missing pieces of my life.
As usual, however, that work was hard. After all, the past two years had been the same process. I get my human subordinates to find a list of names from anywhere: concentration camps, labour camps, ghettos, and all of those rotten places. Then, they'd hand me a report with the unimportant names blacked out and only the specific names I needed were left uncrossed. I had spent two years doing that process, every day on this station was spent doing that. Finding those two was the main goal of my life; It's what let me wake up every morning. The hope of a reunion.
But, until I got my hands on another report, I was keeping myself busy with monitoring my subordinates on the Romnua Space Headquarters as we orbited over Southern Africa. Something to help me take my mind off of everything was admiring our native Earth from my post. The golden deserts of Namibia and the green rainforests of the Congo dominated the view from the huge glass wall that separated us from the cold vacuum of space. Although I’ve been on this damn station for two years now, the sights never cease to get a gasp of amazement from me.
The Confederation used this station and 16 others to monitor and keep tabs on anything happening on Earth. We were the keen observers that protected Earth from any foreign incursion.
A bit ironic coming from the people who invaded us.
At least the Germans didn’t fill us with such lies.
The only reason why they chose me to run this joint human-Confederation sector was because I was an unwilling favourite of their high command. I was one of the best remaining generals in Poland. I served in the Great War and the Polish-Soviet War as a lowly troop, but I was a respected general by the time of the German invasion in 1939.
I defended my country for as long as I could. I resisted for a long time after our official surrender. When the Nazis got to me, they carted me off to a labour camp. Then I escaped and continued the fight on the British Isles, being airdropped and ferried out on multiple occasions. Once the Confederation arrived, my fight against the Nazis and their brutal occupation ended, but I was left without the sunshine of my life.
“Here’s the registered civilian report, sir,” a Lithuanian lieutenant saluted as he handed me a manila folder with a printed paper that had a list of names typed onto it. Even though Lithuania and Poland weren’t the greatest of chums before the war, occupation by the Soviet and Nazi barbarians created a sense of tragic camaraderie between our people.
“Did you file out the names?” I asked calmly, flipping open the folder. I kept my ears open for the response as I waded my hands across pages of paper with smooth flips.
“Yes, sir,” the lieutenant replied as my eyes scanned the paper. The names were crossed out in black marker. I scanned it top-to-bottom and page after page. I began to lose hope even more, but then again, it’s not like there was much left of it anyway.
I had been searching for them for two long years. Two years of going against the rules of our hulky alien occupiers. I used their systems to find evidence and our tools to file them out into something comprehensible. I wouldn’t trust an “AI” to find the names I was looking for. The Germans kept well organised records of everything well-organised, so a good thorough search was probably the best thing I had. Still, however, it was an arduous process.
But, just as that thought appeared in my mind, it was my eyes that had fixed on the one name I had been anticipating for the last two years:
Katarzyna Kaminski. My love.
I must’ve jumped with joy. I’d done it! I found her! After what? Six long years of waiting and searching! Finally! First my wife, and then that would open the gate to finding my son too! After so long! I’d see them again! This day was something to be remembered forever!
“Oh, you did your job spectacularly!” I cheered to the lieutenant. However, his expression was more grim.
“Ne, pone,” he advised sombrely in Lithuanian, shaking his head. "The top of the page.”
I was so hooked in my search for any sign of my family that I forgot to even read the title of the page. Looking up, my eyes locked onto the print and read. In a moment, my hopes were stamped out and rage and suffering swallowed my heart like the deep blue ocean.
Registered List of All Prisoners Killed in Auschwitz Death Camp in the Year of Our Lord 1942
Everything went silent in an instant. I froze upright with my eyes glued to the paper. My ears began to ring like a shell had just hit nearby. My face bubbled red in embarrassment, rage, and most of all, misery. My legs felt just about ready to collapse inward and my hips were ready to explode outwards. My body pushed against itself, betraying my fundamental being as my eyes reread the name over and over, trying to make some worthless attempt to console my burning body of emission. None of it worked.
My Katarzyna. Gone. In one sentence. All my joy trampled in a second.
She died not even with a proper burial. She died leaving her son and not knowing if her fighting husband would even embrace her again. All of my searching, and the result was this. This.
It seems that the story of my search for my loved ones ended here. But upon reviewing the rest of the list in silence, I couldn’t find a single mention of a Jakub Dunajski. All my hope was gone to the extent that I held out no idea that Jakub survived the camps.
If his mother didn’t, then he didn’t either.
The final verdict of my search hit me like a train: I would never see my family again.
That depressing day I had to leave them in September of that fateful year was the last time I’d ever see my son and wife again. Our paths diverged with me toling in labour camps hoping to escape to find them once more. And while I was fighting onwards in England, they were shipped to Auschwitz to die. While I was toiling in captivity, they were being beaten and tortured daily. While the Confederation swept across Europe, they were gassed or gunned down in their cots.
After all this time, the thought that I had been suppressing for my entire search was now the dominant ruler of my brain. It was the fact that I had failed them.
I did not sob loudly, I did not scream. Nor did I stamp the floor or tear the page from the folder. I resisted them all. As I had for the past six years. The only response the Lithuanian got from me was a barely audible whimper and a tear.
The tear rolled from my eye down my shaved cheek, slowly dripping down and curving up to my chin in a swift motion. It hung there delicately as if it was absorbing all of my pain into it. Then, when the load became too much for it to bear, it fell. Quickly slipping off and dropping down before it slapped against the white page with a plop. A stain that looked like a crater in no man’s land now rested, ingrained into the paper that killed my hope.
The paper that essentially killed my wife.
Silence engulfed the room and ringing my ears as the words and black marker on the paper became no more than a blur, incomprehensible and unidentifiable. That’s what I wanted anyway, every glance at the page would just finalise the fact that it all was over. That I was alone.
“Legion-Commander Henix wants to see you,” an unforgiving feminine alien voice came from behind me. I jumped in response as my head flew back to meet the alien.
It was a Yetiayhu. And, as was apparently commonplace, they had the typical fangs and talons that all species other than us seemed to have, along with a giant tail that had a little ball of fur at the very end of it. Adding onto that, the Yetiayhu had large expansive cool-coloured frills that were interrupted by little blackish-blue dots here and there, like some Amazonian animal. Their bodies were slimmer than others but still pretty much buff tanks compared to me.
“For what purpose?” I replied with a brow raised in suspicion. My experience in the military and as a resistance head gave me a good tutorial on how to suppress the tears in one’s voice. After years upon years of endless trial and error, I had pretty much perfected it. But, in the case of my reddened eyes, I brought the brim of my military cap down to obscure my eyes.
“He didn’t tell me. Get moving,” the Yetiayhu hissed, her frills fluttering in annoyance.
I almost forgot that the aliens didn’t give a shit about any of our feelings. I’m sure showing too much emotion was an offence in the Confederation military. Could you imagine emotion being a punishable offence? What sort of dystopian fascist hellhole did that!?
Oh wait, I could think of one: Nazi Germany.
My eyes subtly fixed on the Yetiayhu with a bit of contempt that she came to me at my worst moment. I just found out that my wife was unceremoniously killed in a death camp, and she was just acting as pouty as a kid. Granted, she didn’t know of my suffering, but that attitude is deserving of a wrist-slap back on my world.
Too bad for me, the world I’m referring to was no longer even ours anymore.
“You better show some respect,” I huffed, containing my emotions in a little capsule of misery.
“Last time I checked, you were still a transpec,” she scoffed. “Get to his office. Now.”
I couldn’t say no. The first was because she was right about our species’ standing as a “Transitional Species”. But the other reason was because the females of these species were huge. It made sense since their system of governance was a matriarchy. But even then, this bitchy Yetiayhu was a good 2.3 metres tall, towering over me by quite a bit.
Why the hell were these species so damn demonic? Did nature really just shit on us for all of evolution? Every single alien species I had ever seen was some sort of superhuman being. Was there some galactic hierarchy that I didn’t know of? But whatever, there was nothing I could ever do about that fact. The most concerning thing on my platter now was finding the fate of my only child. Whatever Henix had would have to come second.
But either way, I obliged. Leaving my little command sector with a scowl. The doors hissed shut behind me and I turned to my left and began my journey. To prevent an emotional disaster, I tried to ease my haywire senses by inspecting the futuristic facility around me.
Around me was a circular walkway that wrapped around the edge of the station as the outer rim wrapped around the core. Now that I think about it, the station resembled more like a solar system than the bullseye some of the Hungarians compared it to. There was a huge spherical central command at the core of the structure, and then there were the rims. Those were essentially shorter tube structures that wrapped around the centre. Like an orbit.
But these “orbits” weren’t separated by any spaces at all and were all bunched together and connected. The only open space in this station was between the centre and the outer sectors, which was only punctuated by multiple pressurised walkways. The other sectors and posts were in a concentric batch of circular structures around the core. Where I was going, was into the core.
I strolled along the outskirt walkway before taking a right turn into the deeper sections of the station. The view changed from a large window of space to machines and tech beyond my comprehension as I made my way into the inner sectors. The closer it was to the core, the more important it was. These areas were exclusively for the Confederation members, so no human without permission or clearance could enter. But apparently, they were okay when I was there. Many of them gave parting glances before getting back to their work on their “holograms” and “holopads”.
That was something to note, the tech difference between our two civilisations was greater than we could even conceived of, following the Armistice. I watched as humanity went from pigeons and telegraphs to radios and enigma. Now these aliens had “networks” and “internets”. All the new tech was annoying and complex, I never knew what to do. That’s why my sector, the only sector with humans, used telegraphs, enigma, morse, paper, ink, pen, typewriters, and everything else that you would find in an earthly workplace.
I went through a workplace that was basically a science fiction book. It had bright white individual work pods, big glowing blue screens that weren’t even tangible, and so many other things that were too much for me to comprehend. This was stuff only a writer could come up with! Even if we had all of the guns, tanks, and planes our planet’s resources would’ve let us make, it still wouldn’t have even come close to the weapons of the Confederation and their sophistication.
After a long stroll through the labyrinth of connected stations and workplaces, I finally reached the connecting walkways. I entered a little middle chamber that hissed a little gas onto me and ran over me with a blue and red laser. The other doors then opened and I was let through into the lightless walkway.
Once again, only space shined through the top glass dome that ran across the whole upper section of the walkway. But even if I wanted to, I couldn’t even gaze at the stars due to the circumference of the spherical central command blocking half my vision. The outside cover of the sphere was white and hexagon padded, which just added to the already humongous gap between humanity and our Confederation conquerors.
But, even if I looked beyond that when no structures were blocking my view, I could see at least a hundred or more blocky slabs of black and grey.
And there it was, the Confederation Occupational Fleet. It was so menacing with all of their Vatican-sized ships. Except, those ships were only frigates. Their fleet had cruisers, frigates, destroyers, battleships, battle cruisers, carriers, supercarriers, and everything in between. All to monitor our little desolate rock of two billion.
Their supercarriers which were probably the size of Rome, were the prides of the enemy fleet. Those bulky beasts and their battleships were the literal symbols of their superiority. All of these ships had enough firepower to raze a good million or so Earths. Why they sent all of this to deal with a species that hadn’t done anything past grazing space with a V-2 rocket was beyond me.
Overkill, My mind ranted to itself. Ego just radiates off those ships like heat from the sun!
Speaking of the sun, in a good few months, there wouldn’t even be one.
Or, to be more specific, it would be pretty much enclosed in a megastructure to harness power from it. The Confederation called their mad project a “Hrana Complex”. Construction began even before they attacked Earth, and they were making progress. Whenever a human complained about it, the Confederation ilk always shot them down with either a patronisation of their primitive nature or a response that there would be a small window for Earth to receive light; As if that was better.
The sun was dimmer and dimmer by the day, the one light that all humans looked up to was fading. Blocked out by tech and machines from the occupying powers. That’s like if the Germans built a big space shield to block America from the sun and kill all of their crops or something.
The idea was so alien that not even I could come up with a relatable explanation for it!
After a long while of distracting myself with successful results, I finally reached the other side of the walkway, which was a large metal door. I now had to push the heavy metal door open with difficulty as it slowly hissed open. Upon entering, I was greeted by two Bwkas, who were basically supersized humanoid bears, but with deadly attributes tripled in their power and appearance. Of course, I was met with the average stare of contempt as I made my way up to them.
“And why are you here?” one of them growled with venom as it balanced its heavy rifle in its claws. Those “rifles” were the size of an anti-tank rifle or an Ami bazooka. The difference was that it was also automatic and powered by plasma. Just by seeing that, anyone could’ve already predicted it to you that humanity was doomed from the start of the war.
“Legion-Commander Henix wanted to speak with me?” I replied with a head tilt.
“Up the stairs and down the left hall to the right,” the other grumbled with a snarl of its fangs. He was talking as if I didn’t know where my own senior officer was.
I rolled my eyes secretly and trudged on. Scurrying off into the main lobby, I gazed up to see that the vertex of the roof was an absolutely stupendous 40 metres high! That just added a cavernous feeling to the multi-floored white chamber. It was a whole office building in space.
Not many of those were left in Warsaw anyway.
As I made my way toward the circulating stairwell, my gaze snapped to the circular stellar map that projected a huge three-dimensional view of the galaxy. I couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the glowing non-touchable lights every time I saw it. The map was of the whole known galaxy, the dark pink was the Confederation at the centre. It was huge, at least triple the size of the second largest power, whose name was in an alien tongue unknown to me. All the other colours were of the different species that were independent states and empires of their own.
Free from the forced “civilising” we were suffering through.
Annoyingly, my long black military boots slapped against the clean granite floor with loud audible clacks. This, of course, instantly drew attention from all the beasts around me. All of them looked at me with confusion before it morphed into what I assumed was judgment. These species didn’t think highly of us at all. I mean, according to them, we were uncivilised brutes. Dumb primates that just invented new ways of chucking rocks at one another.
Now, that wasn’t wrong per se. But, it wasn’t nice when that was their one sole opinion of our species.
From the beginning of my tenure here, they practically spat on me. They saw my use of our antiquated tech to be insubordination, and savage in nature. Whenever I did my Polish two-fingered salute, they saw it as disrespect and dishonour. Whenever I didn’t eat the same solely raw and carnivorous diet as them, I was a disgusting omnivore who was a greedy bastard wanting to steal from both sides.
Whatever that meant! Imagine being persecuted because of what you ate! On Earth, we were prosecuting each other over other stupid things like skin, race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, how people looked, and everything else similar.
But!
Nobody was stupid enough to get mad at each other over food. Muslims didn’t kill Christians over eating pork. Jews didn’t kill Muslims over them eating dairy and meat on the same plate. Food was food. We all needed it to survive. Yet, the aliens saw it as just another thing to hate us for.
How could these things hate us but somehow still force themselves to occupy us? Why didn’t they just let us duke it out in the battlefields and on the high seas? Why were they just lamer Nazis? Death by slow assimilation and bigotry was worse than death by starvation, labour, or the firing squad.
Making my way up some circulating steps to the second floor, I took the turn and rushed down the hall before finding the door to Henix’s room. Pushing it open with a low drum, I was met with the dark room of Legion-Commander Henix. The only thing lighting the room was, of course, empty space. Since we were higher than the orbiting sectors, his window was actually able to see into the rest of outer space.
The dimming sun reflected off of the station’s concentric exterior and the stars shined bright through thick glass and into the little dark room. The floor was akin to an emerald-coloured rug and the walls were shelves for storage devices like their “pads” and “drives”.
“Greetings, sir,” I opened to the Kohaul with a two-fingered Polish salute.
The Kohaul were the typical humanoids, but they were practically copies of wolves. Light grey fur, a huge bushy tail, and a patch of dense hair around the pelvis area that acted as a sort of frontal tail. Hazel or blue eyes. And, obviously better than us in every way as usual with fangs, semi-venomous saliva, better hearing with their dog ears, the ability to run faster, especially on all fours, and all of that useless garbage that I was used to. Humanity was clearly always the weak link.
Ending my salute and looking to the right, it was then that I noticed at least three other foreign beasts. I quickly recognised them as superiors of different stations and fleets. Why they were here just added to my paranoia.
A Wenli, a Felshan, and a Geinna. Or the more simplified version being: a humanoid dragon, a blue lizard, and a literal Pacific folk beast.
If you were to continue simplifying it even more, you’d come to the definition that they were the three species assigned to resistance mop-up duty on Earth.
“Now, now,” Henix growled. “What is the way I taught you?”
Sighing deeply, I put my Polish general cap to my chest with my left hand before bowing slightly. They wanted us to purge all of the things that made us Polish soldiers and make us their soldiers. I wasn’t going to give up so easily. No matter how much they held me in high regard. They would have to acknowledge that Poland was for the Poles and I would never be anything else.
“Now, I know you are a good commander. You have served us well,” Henix began with a flick from his dog ear. “But, something has come up in recent days that has been of horrible concern to us.”
“And that is?” I asked with a raised brow, sitting at the open chair in front of Henix with a grunt.
“Wasting Confederation equipment and materials on something unsanctioned by any relevant superior on this station,” the Geinna replied for Henix with a hiss.
Oh, kurwa.
They had caught me red-handed. Was today just the day my luck ran dry from its coffers? I was now completely at their mercy. But, these aliens were brutes. So, I was sure that I’d be beheaded within the next hour.
I had tried my best to scrub all evidence of my operations. I put in false reports and fake alerts to give them the facade of me just doing my job. It appears that they saw through my ulterior actions quickly. I was using their tech to do it. Why did I not expect them to know!?
“Now, unless you would be so kind as to tell me why, maybe I’ll pardon your charges,” Henix warned with a composure that put me off.
“Charges of what?” I asked fearfully.
“Well, normally, that would just be a reprimand or demotion at the worst. But since you are a species that we are trying to integrate into the galactic community . . . the punishment is equivalent to treason.”
Henix must’ve seen my face go pallid as his expression softened from robotic seriousness to empathy in a moment. I didn’t despise Henix at all, and this was the exact reason why.
He could feel empathy.
Unlike most Germans.
And he showed reason.
Unlike most Germans.
“Oh, no, don’t worry,” he reassured me with a sombre grin. “I personally do not wish for that fate to befall you. You have served me well. I’ll defend you. But I can’t do that if you won’t even tell me why.”
I would’ve, but I couldn’t. I trusted Henix. Sure, he was as bigoted and cold as his shitty peers. But, I could trust in his word. He wasn’t a crook. But for his comrades present? For all I knew, this was a death trap to get me to confess and to justify a sudden execution. It's not like they would've cared much if I lived or died anyway. I was expendable.
“I know nothing of this,” I affirmed, straightening myself in the slick white chair. Since I was practically a master of all things cold and emotionless, I could just put off a face of resolute honesty without any weaknesses, barring the death of Katarzyna. They’d have to fuck off eventually for that reason, and I’d be more careful with my further searches.
But then again, Katarzyna was dead, and Jakub probably was too. There was nothing else to really risk my life for. Because I had no more life. The two I loved most were gone. I could’ve just let myself die here. I had nothing else. My parents were dead, my home was rubble, my country was occupied, my wife was dead too, and my son was too. I had nothing left to fight for.
“You are the only human in this position of power,” Henix hummed. “We chose you for a reason. You had talent and composure. But this we cannot tolerate. Don’t play coy and tell us.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I huffed with concern mounting in me and gnawing on my soul. “I do not know why you seem to want to frame me for such a crime.”
“Commander Dunajski,” the Felsha snarled. “We’re not stupid. Do not try and lie to us.”
“I am not lying,” I turned to the row of beasts with a scowl. “Whatever could I even use the equipment for? My subordinates only use human machines. Typewriters. Not ‘holographic display devices’ or any of that fancy tech. Why would I even?”
“Commander Duna—”
“No,” I cut off in a calm but harsh tone, “this will not continue.”
Henix looked between the beasts and then he zeroed in on me with his steely blue eyes that rivalled mine, “I know you’re lying, Commander. This will simply mount your charges.”
“In fact,” the Felshan admiral began with a sad smirk, “you could be helping resistance movements for all we know. That level of treason is something very few get and it’s for a good reason. Does that sound like something you’d want?”
“I didn’t do any of the deeds of which I am accused,” I held my ground with a growl. “I have nothing to gain!”
“Do you not?” Henix growled, now agitated. “I’ve noticed a lot of care in searching for a ‘Katarzyna’ and ‘Jakub’. Is there any reason why?”
The Geinna nodded, “Are these contacts or aliases? You know well what fate awaits you if we prove their origin to be that of a resistance cell.”
Oh, Bog. I was really stuck now. They knew their names too. I couldn’t just shrug this off. If I continued parrying their questions, I’d totally get beheaded. They wanted us to be as meek and docile as possible. Me standing up to their accusations instead of folding probably already probably fucked up my chances of clemency.
I looked up to Henix, and his blue eyes were unforgiving. He was waiting for my next move, like a brutal game of chess. I turned to look at the three bastards to my right, their eyes were filled with scorn and disgust at me, at my people.
Just like the Germans.
“I-I . . . I don’t . . . They aren’t . . . ” I began before letting out a deep sigh to empty my tight lungs. Silence enveloped the room for a good few seconds. I couldn’t fight on anymore. I’d lost. “You win.”
“As expected,” the Wenli grumbled. “I expected better of someone like you. But I guess the nature of such a volatile and insubordinate species like you would always dominate your actions.”
I didn’t mind that blatant patronisation of me and my kind as I just looked up at Henix with decimated dreams. Henix seemed to note that I wished to talk as he leaned and sat up straight in his chair. He’d listen. But not his ilk.
“Do you have a testimony, Commander Dunajski?” Henix purred with his head leaned in on his arm.
“Well,” I began with a wince, “i-it’s for a selfish reason to be fair.”
“Mhm,” Henix replied, pulling out one of his hologram pads to write down my testimony. Even if I trusted him, as of now, I couldn’t even trust him with writing my own testimony. For all I knew, he’d probably just warp it into something reminiscent of a last-second attempt at deception or just plain begging.
Then again, he was my best chance to prevent my fate from manifesting.
“I-I-I . . .” I stuttered, not finding the words to express my suffering. My throat burned and my eyes filled with tears. My face of composure was just as fragile as my mental health. All I knew was going to shit.
“You what?” Henix snarled. “I’m not here to take stutters as a testimony. Give me a comprehensible sentence or I can call the guards in to take you to the brigs.”
“I j-just want to find my family,” I blurted blindly. Clamping my eyes shut, I waited for my reasoning to be torn apart by the monsters before me. The monsters that were killing our homes and assimilating us.
Just like the . . . Oh, you know who!
After a little while of uncomfortable silence, I reopened my eyes and looked up at my prosecutors. Henix’s ears perched up in surprise at the confession, and I heard the slaps of tails and the rustle of scales from my side. I expected that to be an even greater reason to punish me. Using their tech just to find my family? Treason it was. I couldn’t even pull myself back together when a few tears rolled down my cheek as I looked to the floor once more in shame.
I fought and worked for Jakub and Katarzyna. Now both were gone. And even if Jakub was still alive, he would be without a father too in this new world. Nothing was happy about this unceremonious end. My story was over, and so were the stories of my family, friends, and parents.
“F-family?” Henix finally hummed with a hint of shock. He then attempted to hide it with his monotone voice. I slowly and quietly sobbed to myself, cursing my weakness. “Tell me more.”
The other beasts in the room shuffled their feet and locked their gazes on me with a bit of anticipation. I was a bit confused by the reaction. How was saying they were my loved ones a game-changer? But, I didn’t pay much attention anyway, my mind was filled to the brim with the stone-cold fact that had haunted me since the beginning of my searches:
I was now alone.
“Wife and son. I-I don’t know where they are. I was searching for them both. Using your systems, I . . . before you summoned me here, I got a report. In it, Katarzyna, my wife of twenty-two years, is dead. My son . . .” I gave a miserable chuckle, “only God Almighty knows where he is now.”
I should have never cried. I should have never shown emotion, especially on this damn station. Emotional control was the most important here. These beasts were very organised and very honour-driven. Crying itself was probably considered treason. At this point, it was just another thing to add on to my list of present offences.
Everything was collapsing in front of me in quick succession.
Instead of scolding me though, Henix just looked at me and watched me fail at controlling my sobs. It gave me an odd feeling that he was just tacitly judging me rather than chastising me verbally. The other beasts were the same, simply wagging their tails in thought or tilting their heads. It unnerved me a bit, but I was too busy internally cursing myself to care about it.
After what felt like my whole tour in Bolshevik Russia, Henix gave a low growl and a wag of his bushy back tail with the words of his sentencing response pushing against his fangs. The fate waiting for me was only a second away, and with that one growl, I’d be done for. What a fool I was to trust any of these pigs!
“I’m sorry about your predicament,” he spoke slowly. “When we saw the crimes of your ‘Nazis’ it became one of the major reasons why we intervened on this damn planet in the first place.”
What a lie. My brain cackled nonchalantly. They’re doing the same things as the Nazis; Although this time, it was all of us who were suffering from it.
Rolling my eyes, I saw through the bullshit. They were no different.
Scraping at his slick and futuristic desk in ponderous thinking, Henix refocused his pristine and steely blue eyes on me, “What you did was unprofessional and highly dishonourable. Anyone who did such an offence would’ve been discharged or demoted with the snap of a maw.
He shook his head in another short pause as he formulated his next response. I hated the silence, I just wanted a “yes” or a “no” if I was to be shot or not. The aliens had a knack to be blunt, but also verbose. It didn’t make sense, but that’s how they worked. And boy did I hate it!
“But, I cannot even attempt to grasp the gravity of the situation you are dealing with,” he began again, snapping me from my thoughts.
I scowled with agitation and furrowed my brows, “Am I still being shot?”
“No,” the other Wenli interrupted with a sigh and a lick of his fangs. “But, we aren’t leaving you here either.”
My mind went berserk As if that was better! Leaving me alive at this point was punishment enough! Without this station, I’d have to scan all of Europe manually. It’d take the rest of my whole pathetic life to cover even half of Poland! Damn these beasts and damn their posturing!
“Well,” Henix thought, “I have an idea. Akvu?”
The Felsha stepped up from the group of beasts and bowed slightly, “Yes?”
“How about we send Commander Dunajski to be a part of the clearance teams?”
The Felsha slapped its tail against the floor in disdain, “Isn’t he under suspicion of connections?”
“I never saw it in him,” Henix replied. “He was hiding something? Yes. But I never expected resistance affiliations. He isn’t that type of soldier. Besides, I used the accusation to crack him, not actually charge him.”
“W-what is my punishment?” I interrupted with mounting impatience as I tapped my jackboot in annoyance. Talking about how they broke me wasn’t what I wanted to hear at the moment. What was important was my quest for my old life. I wanted my wife back, my son, my home, my country.
“So, the idea is,” Henix began with his hands raised in illustrative explanation, “we send you to Earth to root out the resistance pockets. Some random places like Roosiya, Anghipt, Brazza, Mixka, Cooba, and much more. But! There is also an ongoing search for a resistance network in Eirope.”
“Where?” I shot back with rejuvenated hope.
“Central Eirope,” Henix hummed with a grin. “Former human nations like Polna, Cjermaña, Nodorla, Belja, and Cnzecka.”
It took me a good second to decipher those names. What a mess of pronunciation for all of them they were. Since they were busy trying to wipe our uniqueness from us, the aliens had their own names for our old nations, just the same as how they put my Poland in an occupation zone called “Foije”. A stupid name. Now, they were just coming up with mispronounced names for the defunct nations of old Earth.
I absolutely loathed the name “Polna” because “Polska” was better in every way. But they were our conquerors, and they were the bastards who just sentenced me to scouring Europe for my own kind.
“Who’s under my command?” I sighed.
“Oh, just two dozen of every species in the Confederation,” Henix smiled.
“288? That’s kind of small,” I chuckled. “My all-Pole regiment in Britain was at least 1,000 strong.”
“You really think there’s only a dozen species in the Confederation?” Henix snickered. “No, there’s a good seventy. You really thought we sent all of our power across the galaxy to fight some small plucky band of primates? How adorable.”
That ticked me off, but since I didn’t want to bite the hand that spared me from a beheading, I kept my mouth zipped tight. My composure returned and I wiped the tears off with my sleeve as Henix talked with his other peers in their garbled choking that they called a “language”. My goals had shifted from not crying to not snickering as they conversed in the throat cancer they revered as an actual tongue to be spoken by someone.
“For now, you are dismissed,” Henix sighed. “I hereby remove you from your post. You will report to the bays for a debrief.”
“Can I bring my personal belongings?”
“No,” he replied coldly.
“Why?”
Henix squinted his eyes in anger, “Get there and don’t ask any more questions. You are still a disgraced officer and you will not be shown any more mercy from us.”
How reassuring, I scoffed to myself once more. These aliens were as blunt as wood! They might rival my old camp Oberkommando. Hell, they might as well be him!
Sighing, I pressed my hands against the smooth chair and shakily brought myself up again. With another stupid bow, I left while trembling in every limb. I was in a precarious position now. Anything that went wrong under my command, I would take the hit.
But, if it still gave me a chance to at least try and piece my old life back together;
Then I’d throw myself into it with an intrepid Polish spirit.
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[Prev]

I love that bubble lips has Juicy Scoop Wednesday on their his 4th tiered show - 'Extended' Jeff Lewis? aka 'the after show' ... a rip off of the B&J idea
Why did bubble lips demoted his #1 Doug to his left over show 'Extended' JLL...(that's his show when he wants to ghost you away)... and where is Megan? no where to be found? This show was built on the backs of Doug and Megan during the pandemic. Megan had to indulge Jeff by downing gallons of dirty Belvadere martini's to make him laugh. What's their reward?... Oh, go be on my shitty show 'Extended' JLL, thanks Jeff for comparing Megan and Doug to Pole and Patrick (A-list Grifters)! Seriously, who are you going to get on your show except for rich Texas' woman?
and How long will Shane push Jeff around and keep his 'father' alive? Not much longer as SXM is drowning in debt and not renewing Jeff with as much $$$$$. Who's going to get cut from the D-list.. or should I say F-list? I don't think his dork brother will get cut as Toad is busy writing fake reviews for all Jeff's enemies.

Tl;dr- my coworker manipulates me. I'm a giver she takes. How do I unfurl myself from the interactions.?
She (I'll call her "Emily") is in a lower position at work than I, she in a service capacity and I am in a professional office capacity. Emily is AfroAmerican and I am white/asian. I took a liking to Emily from the beginning because she was approachable, bubbly, friendly, and kind. We shared interested in clothing and makeup. Also - humor. With time, I noticed that she seemed to request a lot of things from me either through subtle suggestions to be manipulative. Or, direct requests. Usually the former. I am a giver by nature. With time, I came to realize not only was she a taker but also and this is important, things I was sharing with her do not go undshared. I basically had to glean this from the fact that she tells me things about several of the other people in the office. I was slow to catch on. I realized had likely sharedsomething I had complained about about another service employee. I felt safe in sharing my complaint with her because she had disparaged this fellow employee and also complained about his work. Then like the day after I had shared with her my complaints, I saw her buddying up with him chewing the fat. At this time, I had to take a Stern stock and accounting of my position and realized it could be very dangerous her talking about me to staff. Apparently, she speaks with our second in charge and has told me a great great deal about her personal life and health matters. That's just one example.
So, it is at that time I basically decided to cut her off. A big part of it had to do with the fact that I would share a lot about my you know daily concerns with her on text messaging. She responded to almost none of them. I realize, she has less education than me.. but, she seems to be able to conceptualize and communicate when it's something of importance to her. Ergo, I realized it was pretty much a one-way street. I blocked herself she did something weird and passive aggressive and approached me to see if I would be interested in something and I had to unblock her to make it not an awkward communication moment. And of course, as a result - she realized I had blocked her before that moment. I pretty much haven't really communicated with her except for hello at the office and you know the occasional kind of shared conversation about things that are currently happening at the office that everyone needs to communicate about. But, today - - was different. Perhaps it was my mistake, I cracked open the door again by sending her a text message yesterday because I know she has hip surgery coming up soon and she was gone from work yesterday and I wasn't sure when the surgery was scheduled and I felt badly to not even be in communication at all at a time when she's going to be having major surgery. I guess I kind of feel like, her home life sucks with her husband and son. Her housing life sucks and I've been to her home it's not great. We're just in completely different worlds we come from different class so to speak structures. And I can't see that she's transcended her circumstances from what she came and it's understandable. So she wrote me back and said the surgery wasn't yesterday and said I was a good friend I had offered to help her you know complete her FMLA paperwork if she needed help because she had asked me about it previously and she was really bad at figuring out the details. So, fast forward today she ambushes me, tells me tomorrow is my birthday. I won't have my birthday celebrated by my husband or my son. Her mother I know has passed many years since. She goes on to say how we celebrate office birthdays and no one's ever done that for her and she wishes someone would do it. Then, she goes on to say that she doesn't want a cheesecake or this kind of cake or that kind of cake not a Frozen cake she specifically tells me what kind of goddamn cake she wants. And i, like a moron, fall for it hook line and sinker. I guess, I thought huh well there is truth in what she's saying we don't in include her in celebrations the way we do for a lot of the other staff because she doesn't actually work for our company she works for a service company. Wanting to avoid an awkward situation and wishing to have a peaceful work environment I guess I said I would make sure she got a cake. Thinking to myself, it only cost me a couple bucks for a mix cake and a couple bucks for some frosting. Bada being bad a bang how bad could it be. Then, I think crap what she talking about the way we celebrate the other coworkers? Oh, I realize she means we put streamers and signs balloons whatever on there cubicle. So, I spring into action I get some stuff delivered from the store balloons bowls she had told me she wanted cake and ice cream and she would cry if she didn't get those things. It was just the weirdest effing thing ever. And I just you melted at the idea like oh my God here's someone who doesn't have all these things and she's telling me and I'm feeling bad for her. And, I love doing those things for people. And she knows this. Previously, she tried to get me to have a party this month or next month she she was saying oh gosh we haven't had a party in a while and we should really do something. And I was quick to respond at that time I said great Emily why don't you plan that let me know. This time, I was unprepared and maybe I was vulnerable because I let her in to a little crack in my psyche because I felt a sense of sympathy maybe for her pending medical procedure. All of this is to say, I'm trying to figure out one, how to proceed in the future. Too, what is the psychological dynamic that is going on between she and i. I wish to understand what is it about her and what is it about I that makes this go forward. I'm thinking, mostly, it's because I have a manipulative narcissistic mother. I naturally respond to her manipulations easily because I care for my mother and.. she's my mother! I had realized my sensitivity to the b******* and manipulation and that's kind of why I cut things off with Emily.
So now, I had bought a cake because I was really tired and didn't want to make a cake and I thought hey okay this will be less stressful. Another co-worker, I'll call her ingrid volunteered to help me pay for the cake as she is a sucker like I am to people who need things.
So, how do I get out of this cycle moving forward, should I basically just not talk to this woman anymore except for very Kurt office interactions? Is she worthy of my sympathy? At any level?
She is psycho or she have feelings I mean? There have been times when I have told her a ton about myself and then she completely switches the subject like she didn't hear a single thing I said. Ostensibly, this is narcissistic behavior. She acts passive aggressive towards me. She tries to get me to do things for her I feel like she cracks open the door that's how we became friends in the first place she said she needed help with something and no one else would help her with it and she put in the sympathy statement and voila I ended up at her house helping her install a printer.
I don't know, I feel like such a sucker, and I don't want this behavior to continue but it's really really hard for me to just not interact with someone who has this kind of dynamic. She's she's borderline safe and friendly but then she's borderline scary ass dangerous manipulative gossiping passive aggressive. I'm almost afraid not to do s*** for her like what will she do? I mean she left something on my desk I didn't know who left it but I kind of deduced it was probably her. It was a wall sign you know the chief kind you might get at the dollar store? It's like plastic or ceramic I don't know what but I guess she had to hang on her wall and it shattered. She left on my desk taped together badly with some super glue. Later, she mentions that she had done so and told me I would be doing this for her she didn't really ask she said she knew how much I would like doing that since I loved craft projects.
I do not like fixing s*** for people it's a chore. I do it for the people in my life who I care about that do things for me. I had let it sit on my desk for several days because I was just irritated like, who the f*** do you think I am and why what I want to fix your crap for you? She was rude and passive aggressive with me at the office like wouldn't really greet me. So, that resulted in me taking it and putting in my car so that she would see there was some potential that I might be fixing it. I, have zero interest in fixing it. Also, it's really cheap. Why would anyone want to keep that?
The bigger issue is, of course, her repeated attempts to manipulate me in my sadly susceptibility to these attempts. It's so confusing. On the one hand she seems like such an innocuous person on the other hand she can make me spend a s*** ton of money in a short period of time just by suggesting some things to me. I bought a cake balloons decorations have them delivered all because I thought, "well this is terrible, she can't not have her birthday celebrated she needs to feel fit in and the class ism bothers me we have to try and make everyone feel equal."
Yes it's total bullshit. Yikes help me see reason. Just in writing this, I'm seeing how clear the pattern is: she'll compliment me she'll suck me into conversation, she'll ask for something or subtly suggest something that she needs or wants. Then she demands specifically a greater request than even began originally. I've even wondered if she's just gearing up to scam me in a much bigger way. This could be terrible.
I'm kind of feeling like just irritated about the whole thing to wear, I don't think I want to take the cake in tomorrow. I had bought ice cream bowls spoons you know party supplies. And I just realized, sitting here explaining it to you all: it makes no sense. I'm rewarding her for manipulating me. If I ever expect it to stop, I have to not follow through. With what I have promised or what she has asked me to do.

Throwaway account to just get this off my chest. I F/24 cheated when I was 21. and he M/21 we were together for about a year and a half. Should I tell the woman F/30 I'm currently dating about this?
I think I need to include context. We got together in the height of Covid and visited each other's houses as a way of dating. During 2020, we would Zoom for 2 hours at a time, called for hours - we even put on the same film or TV show at the same time as we were on Zoom so we could "watch" it together and just commentate. I got to know him so well and could truly get stuff off our chests when we talked, it was a wonderful friendship. It turned romantic when in April 2020 and I knew I needed see him.
So, in May 2020 I broke some UK Covid restrictions rules (sorry) and I travelled from the North of England to the South by train for 7 hours to see him. I was surprised with myself - who was I to break these rules? Did I not care about potentially getting or even passing on Covid? Selfish.
I did everything in my power: I wore two masks, I sanitised profusely, I did not DARE go near anyone, I tested negative a week before travel and a week after travel. I was astounded with myself and my tunnel-vision approach, yet my anxiety kept me from trul relaxing until I got to him. He waited for me at the train station. We hugged, it was so awkward at first - I had no idea what to say to him at first, even though he was the one I told everything. We were so cute. Once we got to his empty student house we kissed. It was like fireworks, like taking a sip of water after a long, long drought. The three weeks I spent there were like a dream. We cooked, played video games, binge-watched Doctor Who, took walks, we brushed our teeth together - it felt like we were living together and we mastered this beautiful nuance of the situation was something to be savoured as it will never come again.
Like that, we fell in love in a bubble. I left after three weeks, we both cried. We said 'I love you' one day suddenly and it felt true. I went back to the North. We continued texting, Zooming and sharing our lives. Covid restrictions lifted in August 2020 and I could finally see him legally (yay). We made plans to travel by either coach (taking around 10+ hours) or train (7+ hours) and it was also expensive. But I was getting severe panic attacks, I was prescribed anti-anxiety meds and began talking about my childhood trauma. He also told me he's been depressed for some year previously, but was surprised I never told him about my trauma. I began having sexual thoughts about other women (I'm Bisexual, he's always known this), I started to be drawn-away, being really insecure about myself and at some point I began having more and more desire to be with other women but also men. It became a co-dependancy that if he wasn't there I became lonely and pushed friends away. He felt like he was thriving at the end of his degree, he loved working at his job and his friends. I was the opposite and became jealous of him.
He moved to the North to be with me, but not to my city, about 2 hours away, as he wanted to start his Masters there. I still wasn't happy and wanted to break up, start fresh and start therapy, figure out why I hate myself so much. He said he wouldn't let me go, that we can stay together as I figured it out. I agreed. Selfish.
He wasn't happy in his city, so he found a better-suited Masters course in city in the Midlands of the UK. About 4 hours away from me. he started his course, I just moved into a new house with friends and got a new job while finishing my degree. I was regaining control and started to be more happy. But I started to get a crush on my housemate M/22. He was a lovely, shy, creative and attractive guy. I started to compare them two. On nights out I would drunkedly flirt with him, find reasons to talk to him around the house, and became just an overall idiot. At this point, my boyfriend did not know this. I needed to tell him that I was emotionally cheating and just acting like a dickhead. Selfish. It was a blur. On Halloween 2022, my housemates and I went went to a houseparty. Prior to that, during the day I did two things: 1) I saw my boyfriend's sister for coffee as she was visiting my city to catch-up and she made a throwaway comment about her friend who's getting married after knowing the guy for a year, then she said 'it's like if you and my brother would get married now, do you think you ever will?' and I said 'no' to which she said 'hmm never?' and I shrugged it off, made a joke about marriage being outdated for Gen Z anyway. 2) I Zoomed my boyfriend and we did what we usually did and watched an episode of Doctor Who at the same time. At the end he said 'I love you' and I didn't say it back, I felt like I couldn't. He texted me later to ask why, it was unusually for me, I said I just forgot. Poor excuse.
That night I cheated on him with m housemate. It was after the party when we came home and I kissed him. We made out but then stopped. I was so drunk and so shocked, where the fuck did this audacity come from. We sat down and talked about it. I said I was unhappy with my boyfriend and I planned to break up with him, I didn't see a future with him and I didn't love him. My housemate said we shouldn't have sex probably and I went 'fuck it! I've already cheated and I cannot go back in time, he was so hot and I wanted it' and in that moment I gave up completely on saving my relationship. We didn't have sex, we did some stuff though and when we started to get to sleep, I just thought 'I'm a dirty cheater'. I made that decision and I didn't know how to get to sleep. I kept thinking about my boyfriend, what I would say to confess.
The next afternoon I called him and I told him. The call took 2 hours and I confessed to my attraction to other people, to the cheating, how I don't think I loved him anymore, how I didn't see a future with him. How I hated myself and I wanted to fucking end myself, how I was twisting it to be about poor little me, how I fucking hated myself. I never apologised more. I wanted the relationship to end for about 5 months at this point, but never said. He said he knew there was something wrong but never could get anything out of me. I emotionally checked out 5 months ago and when we broke up I felt remorse and thought seriously about hurting myself. I did not, I went to my housemate. I told him it was over and he was shocked. I was so brutally honest with my ex over the phone (by the way, I did it over the phone because he lived 4 hours away and could not waste a minute to tell him). Selfish. I got some solace from my housemate and we even kissed and I cried. He reminded me so much of my ex. I suggested we have sex, but he declined (good) and started to be really weird around him and he got distant and called me out. Eventually we straightened it out but that friendship has lost some respect. We haven't seen each other in 1 year and it's for the best. I was a monster and I still cannot forgive myself.
I got to therapy in the end of November 2022, a month after we broke up and I started taking anti-depressants. I started my new job, I finished my degree, I found respect for myself and regained trust in myself. I started to idolise (which you can probs tell by m writing) that time with m ex in May 2020 when we were together for 3 weeks. I started to see it as 'perfect' and 'pure', how nothing could ever become like that because I was a dirt cheater. I started dating women for the first time but have had no relationships since.
Currently dating a beautiful, smart and amazing woman F/30 in a city not far from mine. We have only been on 4 dates/ about 4 months but would love to give it a go. Currently on a cross-roads: do I tell her about me cheating? I should, but it begs the question if she's ready to hear it as it could determine a lot of things. I always seen people who cheat at evil, that they will never change. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right? I cannot stop hating myself for it. It's been reminding me so much of that time because this girl lives in the city my ex lived in in the North for his Masters, before he moved to the Midlands. I remember all the places we went to, see his old Uni and start to get old memories back. I'm planning to tell her next time I see her, but I'm scared. I do not want to pity myself any longer and I cannot hate myself no more. It took me so long to get it into my head that even though I cheated, I am no longer the person I was and I deserve love. I have hope. How do I tell her?

TL;DR The equity-bond spread (defined as spread = 1/CAPE - 10Y Treasury Yield) is a measure that shows stocks relative attractiveness compared to bonds. Its this metric, rather than absolute CAPE value, that should be used in making portfolio allocation decisions. Today's spread level corresponds to lower expected outperformance for overweight stock portfolios (i.e., excess returns going from 70% stocks to 80% stocks, for example, are expected to be lower compared to the historical average). It may be wise to hold a neutral or even underweight allocation to equities, given today's valuations.
Introduction
As of this writing, first drafted on April 22 2024, the Shiller PE sits at 33.27. Many analysts and investment managers will tell you to fear this number. In his latest memo, Jeremy Grantham says that today’s price-to-earnings metrics sit in the top 1% of modern history, sounding the alarm for U.S. equity bubble territory.

Well, the U.S. is really enjoying itself if you go by stock prices. A Shiller P/E of 34 (as of March 1st) is in the top 1% of history. Total profits (as a percent of almost anything) are at near-record levels as well. Remember, if margins and multiples are both at record levels at the same time, it really is double counting and double jeopardy – for waiting somewhere in the future is another July 1982 or March 2009 with simultaneous record low multiples and badly depressed margins.

I don’t think it’s quite so simple; it might not be appropriate to look at a single asset class in a vacuum the way that many in the investment community do. Is a 30+ PE high? Objectively, it sounds pretty frothy. If bonds were yielding 10%, I’d almost certainly say that bonds were more attractive. If they were yielding sub-2% like much of the post GFC decade, it might not be as straight forward. At a Shiller PE in the low 30’s, we have a very conservative 3% earnings yield (remember, Shiller averages the past 10 years of earnings) before even accounting for earnings growth. One might conclude that stocks have the slight edge in this case.
The point is, we can’t look at a single valuation metric and make an informed decision. We have to consider valuations of equities against the universe of other asset types.
With this post, my aim is to take a more holistic look at valuations - particularly valuation spreads - and see if we can’t make investment decisions based on our findings.
A Simple Visualization
A great place to start with this analysis, and the place that I started when I first began exploring this topic, is a quick visualization plotting stock yields vs bond yields. By doing so, we can start to form a picture on where we are in respect with history.
PICTURE
It’s important to point out what inferences we might try to gage from this chart.
First, intuition tells us that high earnings yields and high bond yields (as defined by the 10-year treasury, in this case) would lead to high forward equity and bond returns, respectively. So the further right on the plot we are, the higher the future equity returns might be. Likewise, the higher (vertically) the point is, the higher the bond returns should be.
With further inspection, the right most points correspond with the years surrounding the late 1910’s and early 1920’s; leading into what has been monikered the roaring 20’s.
1982 is also highlighted on this plot; which was the kickoff to one of the strongest bond and bull markets in history.
These are in-line with our expectations: high returns happen when yields are high. Duh. Don’t worry, there’s more.
More generally, the further up and to the right we are on the aforementioned graph, the better we can expect forward returns to be for a diversified portfolio.
It’s apt to point out that 2022 was basically the inverse of 1982, having the lowest bond & stock yield combination in the modern era. In fact, the post-GFC era was essentially hugging the lower bounds of both stock and bond yields compared to the pre-GFC era.
We can also start to see a shadow of how bonds and stocks might be related. Perhaps when bonds are yielding higher than stocks, stock returns suffer in relation to bonds. We see that the year 2000 (the dotcom bubble top) had equity earnings yields just over 2% (the lowest in history) while treasuries were yielding nearly 7%. We all know how that turned out.
On that note, one might hypothesize that the spread between stock earnings yields and bond yields might be a predictor on how portfolios perform over time. More on that later.
Historical Equity-Bond Spreads
Let’s first define what the Equity-Bond Spread is:
Equity-Bond Spread = (1 / CAPE) - (10 Year Treasury Yield)
PICTURE
Again, the implication is that the higher the equity-bond spread (simply referred to as “spread” moving forward) the more attractive equities are in comparison to bonds (i.e., equity earnings yield of 10% looks more attractive than a 3% bond yield, the spread being 10% - 3% = 7%)
The figure below shows us the historical distributions of equity-bond spreads. Also noted, that today’s valuations lie in the left side of the distribution.
Excess Returns
The goal of this study is to see if we can find some indication on whether the spread between stock and bond yields is predictive of future returns.
The easiest way to accomplish this is to compare a stock heavy portfolio to a bond heavy portfolio. One might argue between something super stock heavy like a 90/10 (stock / bond) vs 60/40. But let’s first look at complete opposites of the spectrum: 90/10 vs 10/90.
We’ll define “excess return” as follows:
Excess Return = (10 year annualized return of 90 / 10 portfolio) - (10 year annualized return of a 10 / 90 portfolio)
As an example, in the year 1990, a 90/10 portfolio had a 10 year annualized return of 13.6% while a 10/90 portfolio had a 10 year annualized return of 5.3%, giving an excess return of 8.3%.
Also, in the year 1990, the Shiller PE was 17.05 giving a equity earnings yield of 5.87%. The 10 year treasury yield was 8.21% at that time. This gives a spread of -2.34%.
The point for 1990 is shown on the plot below at (-2.34% , 8.3%).
The red arrow denotes where we are in 2024.
PICTURE
The big takeaway from this plot is that 1) stocks outperform bonds almost always and 2) there is a decent correlation between the equity-bond spread and excess returns. When stocks yield much higher than bonds, stock heavy portfolios tend to do better, in comparison, vs when the spread is low or negative.
But we already knew that stocks typically perform better than bonds. The better assessment might be when to overweight stocks compared to a more traditional portfolio. Or, better yet, when to take the foot off the gas on a stock heavy portfolio. So let’s do the same exercise, this time comparing a 90/10 to a more traditional 60/40.
PICTURE
I’ve left the original 10/90 comparison on the plot for the visualization. As expected, the excess returns, across the board, are less pronounced because we’re comparing a stock heavy portfolio to a slightly less stock heavy portfolio. But the conclusion is clear. The spread does appear to have an impact on excess returns. In negative spread environments, we’re not paid nearly as much for the extra risk as when spreads are positive and wide. In highly positive spread environments, excess returns can be in the range of 3 - 5%. Which, we all know, can be very impactful over the long-run.
Understanding Valuation Drivers
For bonds, valuation is pretty easy: an investor can purchase a bond for a given yield-to-maturity (although returns on bonds aren’t quite as simple).
For equities, we should examine the components of the discounted cash flow model.
In the long run, a PE ratio might be estimated as follows (this is the terminal value equation):
PE = (1+g) / (d-g)
Above, “g” is the long run earnings growth rate, and “d” is the discount rate. In the case of price-to-earnings, “d” will be the cost of equity. I won’t cover these more in depth here because this is a very simplified look, but cost of equity is essentially a measure of risk or the required expected return for the asset.
From this, we can actually glean a lot of useful information.
If the security is considered very safe (ie low risk), the discount rate “d” will be low (since the required rate of return is typically lower for a safe asset). A low discount rate in the equation above will lead to a higher PE ratio.
Conversely, a risky security will have a high discount rate, which will lead to a lower PE.
A high long run growth rate, “g”, will increase the numerator and decrease the denominator, leading to a higher PE for a given discount rate.
From these three ideas, we see that risk and growth are comingled in valuations. Something that’s low risk and has low earnings growth might actually have the same high PE valuation as something that’s high risk and high earnings growth. But the expected return will actually be higher for the high risk security.
This all just to say that while PE ratios are related to forward expected returns, they don’t tell the full story. This is an important caveat to the next section.
Current Valuations By Asset Classes
The following data was pulled from Vanguards Website.
VOO = S&P 500 BND = Bond Index
VEA = Developed International VNQ = REITs
VWO = Emerging Markets
PICTURE
This chart isn’t meant to be used to decide what asset mixture to make your portfolio. Instead, it’s meant to be used, qualitatively, as a starting point to see what asset mixes might make sense to hold.
Typically, in terms of valuations, the further up and to the right (high starting yield + high earnings growth) on this graph indicates higher predicted forward returns.
But there are trade offs. Namely, this doesn’t account, directly, for risk. Bonds (BND) is considered ‘risk-free’, but it doesn’t offer any potential for earnings (or coupon) growth. Developed international (VEA) looks attractive compared to the S&P 500 (VOO) on a starting yield basis, but it has offered less earnings growth, and comes with extra baggage in terms of geopolitical risk. But high risk does typically mean higher potential returns. The same goes for Emerging Markets (VWO), but to an even greater extent.
Does History Have to Look Like the Past
Something else to consider, especially when looking back at the first couple of sections, is “does today have to look like the past?” Do current market environment have stocks overvalued, or is it that historic valuations had stocks inordinately undervalued?
Maybe stocks aren’t as risky as we first thought. Especially in the U.S., the largest companies might not carry a ton of risk at all. In that sense, maybe it was the early days of modern capitalism that were inefficient, and we’re now getting to a more balanced regime in terms of valuations, where risk-free bonds yield in the 3-5% range, and slightly riskier stocks return in the 5-7% range. In this case, the current spread environment would make sense, where starting yields are much closer, and the earnings growth potential of stocks makes up the difference in forward expected returns. But this would be all the more reason to hold a diversified portfolio. Why hold only stocks, when stocks and bonds will give a similar range of outcomes.
Stocks also offer other advantages over bonds. Namely inflation protection. If inflation spikes, bonds an investor is currently holding will not only lose value due to rising interest rates, but the purchasing power of the dollars tied to those bonds will decline over time. Stocks are somewhat more resilient in that revenues and earnings (assuming steady margins) will rise with inflation. In this sense, stocks are actually less risky than bonds or cash.
Inflation also affects the spread in another way. The CAPE ratio uses inflation adjusted earnings from the past. What this means is that in a high inflation environment, the CAPE ratio comes down without any correction in price. We saw this in 2022 where the CAPE fell nearly 30% while the S&P 500 only fell 18%. Due to this phenomena, in a high inflation environment, the metrics used above can correct themselves even while equity prices are climbing.
Another potential issue with this study is that accounting standards have changed over time. Earnings today may not be comparable to earnings of the past. I haven’t explored these potential differences here, but it might be prudent to do so if you were to use this study for actionable advice.
Conclusions
Are we in a Bubble?
To give Jeremy Grantham a rebuttal (although, I’m sure he’s not asking for one). No, I don’t think we’re in an outright bubble. U.S. markets might be frothy, and forward returns will probably be lower for U.S. stocks, but we’ve seen in the data above that 10 year returns have been fine given any market spread and valuation. Would I be surprised if we had another bear market? No. But I’d be just as un-surprised if we average 6-8% equity returns for the next decade.
Asset Allocations
To me, when presented with the data above, it doesn’t seem likely that we’ll be rewarded for holding an overweight U.S. equity portfolio. While equities should continue to outperform bonds for the next ten years, if today’s environment rhymes with history, holding an underweight stock portfolio won’t cost us much in terms of returns. But it may come with the added benefit of lower volatility and overall risk. An underweight portfolio also still has some potential to outperform. That all seems like a good trade-off.
In addition, international (both developed and emerging) markets have relatively enticing valuations and return prospects. While there’s no guarantee that either will outperform U.S. equities, they may offer uncorrelated returns that also won’t drag too much on the overall portfolio.
In general, given the current valuation environment, a balanced portfolio might be the best path forward for risk adjusted returns.
Citations
Shiller PE and Treasury Yield Data:
https://www.multpl.com/shiller-pe
Historical Return Data:
https://pages.stern.nyu.edu/~adamodaNew_Home_Page/datafile/histretSP.html

Hello again everybody!
Before we get started on today's post the current voting for Gholdengo has been our most decisive yet! Safe to say the community opinion of the string cheese snowboarding boi is about the same as King Midas or Goldmember from Austin Powers would be if they were real people lol. Votes for S tier have completely blown votes for any other tier out of the water! So with that being said it looks like we have another member of the illustrious S tier! Like with all previous votes I'll continue to check the numbers and if anything changes I'll update it on tomorrow's post but this one is looking pretty set in stone at the time of writing this.
So current tiers are:
S tier - Garganacl, Cloyster, Skeledirge, Gholdengo
A tier - Gyarados/Mega, VenusauMega/Dyna, Aegislash, Corviknight/Dyna, Excadrill
B tier - Kanto-Persian/Dynamax Kanto-Meowth, Weavile
C tier - Linoone
F tier -
With that being said let's get to today's vote!
Today is day 15 of tier voting and a request to see Starmie brought up for voting received a lot of upvotes on a previous voting post so it seems like there is a pretty strong community desire to see the master of the "HYUP" sound effect brought up for a tiering decision! Starmie has been a fan favorite ever since the original generation of Pokemon and has also almost always seen strong relevance in the competitive scene in whatever tier it ends up in due to it's really good speed stat, solid Special Attack, decent bulk and wide variety in its movepool. This game gives it another gift to help with its longevity in the form of its Passive ability, good egg moves, and has also given its ability that only has use outside of battle a new effect (if a Starmie with Illuminate is the lead Pokemon in your party it functions as you always having a Lure active, doubling the chance of you finding a double battle encounter).
(Please note that Pokemon with Mega/Dynamax evolutions will be tiered as one Pokemon and not tiered separately for their Mega/Dynamax form. Different variants such as Alolan Persian vs. Kanto Persian will be tiered separately however.)
(Also here is the post with rules for voting/tiering posts and a little more explanation about them in general: https://www.reddit.com/pokerogue/s/0LNZhPPzR9 Links to past votes can all be found here as well in comments added to the OP with each new vote)
And here is a quick reminder of what each tier generally means:
S tier: Top tier, can make or break your entire run, essentially the cream of the crop
A tier: really strong but not quite top tier, maybe slightly outclassed or has a slight weakness holding it back
B tier: solid choices that can make it to your endgame team, might be reliant on team composition to truly function well or might just be outclassed as well
C tier: usually early-mid game Mons, ones you don't really want to take to end game if you can avoid it, usually pretty decently glaring weakness but something redeeming enough to keep from F tier
F tier: no reason to use in end game unless you're doing it for a meme/joke
Abstain/No Opinion: this will be a voting option mostly just in case someone accidentally votes and then can't remove their vote (I've noticed that happens on Reddit sometimes) or for Pokemon people haven't unlocked/used to their full potential yet. If Abstaining votes outvote each individual tier then the Pokemon will be tabled for the time being and another vote will open up for it later (can mostly see this happening with Legendaries).
*
Starmie
Type: WatePsychic
Mega: No
Dynamax: No
Starter cost {Staryu}: 4
Possible Egg moves: Calm Mind, Moonblast, Bouncy Bubble, Mystical Power
Abilities: Illuminate or Natural Cure
Hidden Ability: Analytic
Passive Ability: Regenerator - recovers 33% of the Pokemon's maximum HP when it switches out
Evolution: Staryu evolves into Starmie with a Water Stone (it is worth noting that Starmie doesn't learn any moves by leveling up, it has all the same level up moves as Staryu but you have to use a Memory Mushroom or TM to learn them if you didn't already learn them as Staryu by leveling up before evolving)
Base stats:
HP - 60
Attack - 75
Defense - 85
Sp. Attack - 100
Sp. Defense - 85
Speed - 115
Learnset by level up: Brine, Confuse Ray, Cosmic Power, Harden, Hydro Pump, Light Screen, Minimize, Power Gem, Psybeam, Psychic, Rapid Spin, Recover, Surf, Swift, Tackle, Water Gun
Notable TMs: Water Pulse, Hail, Ice Beam, Blizzard, Protect, Rain Dance, Dazzling Gleam, Thunderbolt, Thunder, Double Team, Rest, Sleep Talk, Scald, Flash, Psych Up, Dream Eater, Grass Knot, Swagger, Flash Cannon, Expanding Force, Meteor Beam, Thunder Wave, Icy Wind, Whirlpool, Tri Attack, Psyshock, Ally Switch
*
Tomorrow's vote: Rhyperior!
Pokemon on the radar for voting very soon: Quagsire, Gardevoir, Aggron, Carbink, Whimsicott, Tinkaton, Archaludon, Flamigo, Volcarona, Butterfree/Dyna, Beedrill/Mega, Dustox, Mamoswine, Mawile/Mega, Toxtricity/Dyna, Annihilape, Cramorant, Aerodactyl/Mega, Glimmora, Cincinno, Heatran, Galarian-Zapdos, Regieleki, Regidrago, Volcanion, Snorlax/Dyna, Wishiwashi
(Other requests will be added to this list and this list is not necessarily in order)
Happy voting!
View Poll

And it's not about difficulty, it's brutal. It's about Ashlands gear, majority of which in best case feel barely as an upgrade and in worst is just expensive decoration on your item stand. It sems like in this update devs were afraid to death to give us any meaningful advantages.
Let's start with Embla set which is the perfect starting example of how devs approaching the stats in this update and what are they consider as an upgrade.
Embla set gives you some more armor than Eitr Weave set does, but if we're talking about the mage build, I suppose you always have your shield bubble on you, so armor increase is so unimportant that I won't even bother to look on exact numbers since 95% of incoming damage you supposed to negate with your bubble. The only stat left for comparing is the Eitr regen increase which is crucial for mages. Eitr Weave set gives us additional 100% Eitr regen, while Embla gives 115%. So, we regenerating Eitr 15% faster, right? That's where numbers are getting tricky.
One of the things Valheim taught me is that the only place that you need to be without the rested buff is your home. So let's consider that in most combat situation you have your buff.
Now, let's get to the math.
100% base Eitr regen + 100% rested buf + 100% Eirt Weave set = 300% Eitr regen.
What's about Embla?
100% base Eitr regen + 100% rested buf + 115% Embla set = 315% Eitr regen.
It's not even 10% higher.
Its 5.
Yeah.
Basically, all grind, all refined Eitr is wasted on pretty badass looking reskin of an Eitr Weave set. Not only it's ashlands gear, it's also a set named by the first woman in Norse mythology. And the description says that you'll feel the power of ancient magic etc. Well, the only feeling I have is that I got scammed. This is just stupid.
Now, let's talk about magic weapons.
The first second I crafted Staff of Fracturing I felt in love with its unusual attack and sound effects. Well, this love was doomed to fracture.
Let's compare the Staff of Fracturing (SoF) with Staff of Embers (SoE).
For the same amount of Eitr direct hit with SoF barely does the same dmg as the SoE.
Anything else it does worse:

• Less range;
• Less AoE radius;
• Less AoE damage;
• Slightly less direct hit damage.

Yes, it levels elemental magic pretty fast, but remember that flint knife also levels knives skill more effective than Skoll and Hati do.
Maybe the Staff of Nature is good?
It fires projectile that creates poison cloud and grows the vine in the landing point. Poison damage is straight up useless at 85% cases (all charred, valkyries, voltures are immune to poison), at 10% cases it barely does something (asksvins, bonemaws are 50% resistant to poison, but let's be honest - you won't fight bonemaw with it) and the rest 5% is Morgen, who has no resistance to poison.
The vines are missing at 50% of cases and their effective range is half of the visible vine length.
So far we have 2 of 4 staves that are useful only for decoration or levelling up elemental damage early in Ashlands.
But Dundr is also levels up magic fairly quickly. And it does excellent job at putting Morgen to rest. Trollstav is also awesome staff, it's so fun to wreak havoc with this thing and then ram the empty fortress. But I'd like to talk more about stuff that feels barely as an upgrade, if it ever feels like this at all.
So, let's talk about Gemstones upgrades.
We have 3 gemstones: red, blue and green. Blue and green gems give additional elemental damage as well as some additional effects, while red increases your weapon's damage based on your missing health.
Let's talk about red first.
It increases damage by 0.2% per missing hp. So at 100 mising HP it gives 20% boost, 200 health is 40% boost. While 200 missing health is possible with 3 HP food, heavily restricts your stamina usage and overall you get to near death state with this amount of missing hp especially considering food buff decay, 100 missing health is somewhat manageable. But it still very risky to be in situation like this and instead of retreating actually go straight into the battle. 20% increase imo is not worth that risk, it's too small to what incentivizes you to go full berserker mode. It would be great, if instead of this it:

• Increases damage MUCH greater (talking about 80-100% per 100 missing health);
• Increases your attack speed MUCH greater (roughly the same values);
• Heals you based on missing health;
• Gives you stamina regen per missing hp;
• Lowers stamina usage per missing % hp (30% per 50% hp) and increases attack speed moderately per missing hp (30% per 100% missing hp).

Now that's a berserker mode.
So, let's talk about elemental stones.
I think when you upgrade weapon with green or blue stone, you expect it to replace a huge chunk of physical damage by elemental damage. But this also isn't the case, we have almost cosmetic 10 additional damage.
When it comes to blue: you have 25% probability of striking enemies with chain lightning. The chain lightning is good, but when it's about biome as tough as Ashlands, you don't want to rely on probability. Why don't make it proc every 4th hit? Every 5 seconds? Every 3rd jump? Every parry? Every 15m distance traveled? Right now I consider it as very unreliable source of damage that comes more as bonus. I don't feel rewarded, I just feel lucky.
Regarding green, I already talked about how useless poison in ashlands. So when talking about green variants I'll only take into consideration special effect of this variant. Green weapons have 20% chance to ensnare enemies and render them incapable to move and attack. There is again the game of probabilities, which I hate, especially with probability as low as 20%. Why don't make it build-up effect based on enemy health? How is flat percentage is more interesting? But hey, it's actually useful with bow since you can shoot from afar and land 7-10 shots to the target. Melee? only viable weapons i see is the axes since they have fast attack rate. With all other weapons you need to get lucky or tank couple of shots until you ensnare an enemy. The slayer is useless with this, 70% of attacks is alt attacks because of their unga bunga instant damage.
I'm tired of writing this wall of text and i've only talked about half of what i've wanted to talk about. But Dyrnwyn deserves special place. The literal flaming sword that deals 10 goddamn fire damage. This is straight up joke. A flaming sword which needs you to complete the quest with minibosses and collect 3 fragments of it deals less fire damage than a fucking torch which you get at the very start of the game.
If you want to tell me that not all of Ashlands weapons meant to be useful in Ashlands rather than in other biomes then
first, shut up.
Second, I expect Ashlands gear working PRIMARILY in Ashlands and only then anywhere else.
Third, it's not about couple of weapons, it's a tendency in this update when it comes to stats. A tendency to underdeliver and underperform.
I really hope that Ashlands won't launch anywhere soon and devs will do something with balancing and make new gear much more interesting.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/YoungDad_sucks
Originally posted to parenting + offmychest + his own page
Previous BoRUs:
BoRU #1 originally posted by u/toohottooheavy
BoRU #2 originally posted by u/violue
BoRU #3 and BoRU #4 originally posted by u/Stephenallen1977
[New Update]: I 16(M) have a 4 month old daughter - ex gf wants to go to College and I am worried
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Editor's Note: removed some relevant comments from all older BoRUs for more space in this BoRU to fit in all posts. And also added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: forced marriage, parental abandonment
Mood Spoilers: wholesome and positive
RECAP
Original Post: October 4, 2021
Before anyone says anything - yes I knew about condoms. I was just dumb.
Story time. My parents divorced when I was 10 but lived primarily with my mom. Tiffany's (16) parents are together. When our parents found out she was pregnant her parents kicked her out and my mom kicked me out. So now we live with my Dad. During the pregnancy my Dad took my mom to court and got primary sole custody - I know what this means because I had to go to court for my daughter. He sued Tiffany's parents for legal guardianship and they now pay child support for her and they are pissed and refuse to talk to us.
I am in my bedroom and my daughter is in her bedroom and my ex is in the "guest room" that is now hers. My dad made a deal with us. We live with him until 18 with no rent payment at 18 we need to decide what it is we do. I wasnt really that good in school and Tiffany is an A student. So I took my GED and my dad got me into Welding school. I finish in 2 months. I also work full time so I do welding school at night. Tiffany goes to school and works on the weekends at Wendy's.
This whole thing is a huge ordeal. We literally have no life. My dad helps but not that much because he feels its our responsibility which I agree but still sucks. I work 6 am - 3 pm at a warehouse and go to school from 6 pm to 10 pm. Tiffany is home by 230 and picks up our daughter from daycare. WE help each other a lot and then I head off to school and she stays with her at home until I get home and do it all over again day after day.
When our daughter was born my dad made us go to court, we have 50/50 and I dont pay child support because she lives with us. Because I work full time I can get healthcare for my daughter and myself and that sucks it costs me 300 dollars a month and daycare is 400 a week. Literally Tiffany works just so we can pay for daycare and I pay for everything else. When we are short for cash my dad will help because he sees we are trying.
My dad has been our rock. When we are tired and exhausted he will step in and give us a break here and there, but he makes sure we have everything we need and keeps us motivated. Tiffany wants to apply to college soon and I am worried because I dont want to keep living with her and I dont think I can keep our daughter full time as a welder working 12 hour shifts. But she says she will start at community college and work but wants to stay with us living together since its easier. Since I will be working and it will be best for us to stay with my dad.
But my dad said at 18 we have to pay rent. She doesnt mind but I dont want to keep living with her because we arent together. I am unsure how to tell her this. My dad thinks she should stay with us as long as she is a full time student to finish her degree because i am already getting my career. I just feel that all this is unfair because the burden is on me.
I guess I am ranting because I am scared and unsure of what all this means.
Edit - I guess my thing about her living with us is that we are more like siblings now. We get along and joke and stuff but since she is my ex I feel weirded out by it. Maybe I need to take a breather since everyone is saying its a good thing. Also I needed to hear it from other people and not just my dad and he is pretty solid and i should thank him maybe take him for dinner or something.
2nd Edit - My dad isnt kicking us out at 18, but he wants us to be realistic to the world and pay bills. The money he gets from Tiffany's parents he just gives it to her, she is saving up money for a car and uses other money for her specific foods and clothes.
Before I became a dad my dad always wanted me to live with him at 18 and figure it out and stay with him and save money to buy a house. When he found out I was going to be a dad he wasnt mad but disappointed and said everything has to change. He also is paying for my welding school of 20k and he bought me my car but I do have to pay my own insurance. He does help as long as he sees we are trying and not being lazy. When school recently started he took my daughter to daycare every morning and helped Tiffany with a routine to get school work done.
Final edit - I have to get to class now. Tiffany wants to be a nurse or PA but the college told her nursing school is hard to get into and its best to have a high school diploma which is why she is still in high school and working the weekends.
But someone mentioned a dual thing for community college and we will look into that. So we couldnt get daycare assistance because we are minors and they used my dad's salary. The funny thing is I cant open a checking account for myself because i am a minor but the bank allowed me to open a childrens account for my daughter because I am her parent lol the irony.
I read every single comment and its given me a different POV and I guess college seems so far and I was counting years but its really not that bad she is like a sister now and those who asked I doubt we will get back together honestly I am not thinking about anything like that right now I am too tired to think of a relationship or that type of future.
 
Update #1 - October 25, 2021 (three weeks later)
Idk why I feel like I need to update but here it goes, Tiff and my dad went to the school and were able to get her enrolled in college courses because of her grades. She wont graduate H.S way too fast but she will have enough to finish h.s hours by next December so 6 months early. She reapplied for assistance we got a voucher for daycare so now its 50 dollars a week. She quit her job so she can focus on school but she doesnt start college until spring so thats cool it gives her some time. She still wants to be a nurse so thats cool too.
I got a new job that pays more as a forklift operator and will give me an internship for welding which I wont be able to start until novembedecember until i finish my classes and then i have to do a 2 month internship but they are paying me really good. I started Monday.
My dad and I had a long talk about my fears and he reassured me that its ok to be scared but we have a game plan. He is fixing up the basement to make 2 bedrooms and a living room like a little apartment because he said Tiff and I will need space as we grow. He wants me to buy the house when i am 18 like he did with his parents and he will help me pay it as long as Tiff gets to stay until she finishes college and let her make her own choice. We all agreed this is the best option and we are all really much happier now. I guess I just needed to let it out.
Tiff and I are great while being parents is hard but its been good now that we feel a bit more secure. My mom and Tiffs parents still havent spoken to us because we arent married. Which does make me sad but its ok we have my dad - Tiff's grandparents bought her a car and said thats all they can do for her and not to contact them again until we are married. The car needs some work but I am going to pay for it to fix it up. It needs brakes, suspension and some regular maintenance.
My dad finally told me what all happened and I didnt know but it made me open my eyes to all of this. My dad met my mom in H.S too and they were together and got caught kissing. Since my mom's family are Baptist they forced my dad to marry her. I didnt know in Missouri parents can marry their kids at 15 which is why my dad has been so protective. They were going to marry Tiff and I because she was pregnant and when my dad stepped in they couldnt do it.
My mom and Tiffs dad went and got a license for us and were going to marry us in their church. I guess I wouldnt have minded marrying Tiff but I would rather do it later. But yeah thats why they arent talking to us. My dad did say if that happened he would helped us get it anulled but we have no intentions of speaking to them right now. He explained that Tiff is stuck and while I might be afraid she is even more afraid because she has no one and I need to reassure her we are here for her as a family. I guess I couldnt see it that way and its good that I talked to him.
I hugged my dad and i have been hugging him every day now and its nice its made us closer. All of this information made me pretty sad and grateful at the same time and it helped Tiff and I really start talking more. Like we talked but we didnt talk and I didnt know she was scared too we are now doing days for us to be kids as my dad says. So we both hang out with our friends who still talk to us at least once a week and Tiff and I do a lot of stuff on the weekends now that she doesnt work. Like taking Jelly to the park and going for walks and we did a pumpkin patch. Jelly seems to be happier too and Tiff doesnt seem as tired anymore.
anyway thanks everyone for the help, tips and encouragement. I doubt I will update again and just lurk for parenting advice.
Edit - just want to say thanks for thinking I am a great dad but I dont believe it just yet. I depend a lot on my dad to help me. Tiff and I are trying we do take parenting classes that they offer us a lot of advice and we have made friends there which is nice. But I dont think we would be this prepared without my dad. Also Tiff is on WIC and we take parenting and co-parenting classes its my dads rules.
 
Update #2 - OOP's Comment from BoRU #1 - April 7, 2023 (18 months later)
Holy Crap guys! I finally logged into Reddit and had tons of messages and I found this post! I honestly just didnt expect this. I might as well make an update!
Well Tiff and I are 18 now! I first made my post 2 years ago and Jelly is 2 years old as well.
My dad is doing really good now, he FINALLY has a girlfriend and of course he met her at Tiff's community college she is an admissions counselor.
Tiff is in CC for nursing and killing it! she will have her associates in nursing and then head over for her bachelors at some point but yeah she doing really good.
I am a welder now and I make pretty good money. Tiff and I are back together we started dating again this new years when she kissed me and it just felt right. But she made it very clear we are dating so she is in the basement which we fixed up and I am in my room upstairs and she makes me text her if its ok to come over haha its just a funny thing we do. Yeah I am going to marry her.
We go to family counseling 4 times a month 2 weeks virtual and 2 weeks in office because of our schedule we found that this helps us its like couples counseling but not. I am not the best communicator and this has helped me with stressful times with Tiff and Jelly. I feel like I aged the past 2 years. I definitely dont feel 18 I feel a bit older.
Jelly is the most happiest kid and she literally lights up a room and I honestly just cant imagine not being in her life every second of the day. She loves Pa (thats what she calls my dad). She has him wrapped around his finger he literally spoils her all the time. I really love being a dad to her. I love taking naps with her and how she is just a daddy's girl, she literally is my shadow. It drives Tiff crazy but she is also really happy. We do go out on dates to like dinner and movies sometimes we just sit in the car and talk and laugh, mostly laugh.
My dad has changed a lot and us 4 are really really close he is so much happier and I think his gf makes him happy like made him alive again. He's always doing some weird teaching moments like if Tiff is irritated and walks away he will just say. Well an irritated woman tends to shop to get her mind off things... can you afford that? LOL so yeah he is constantly with his little comments.
I havent spoken to my mother at all and I have no intentions of doing so. Tiff's parents did come back and try to build a relationship with her but they always made her feel like shit so she cut contact with them. My dad still wants us to buy the house and I told him we have no plans on ever moving out! so I told him I will buy the house when either I am 30 or when Tiff and I get married and she said not until she graduates and gets a job. So no wedding bells for at least another 2 years. If you ask Tiff she says she doesnt plan on getting married until she is 28 so it might be longer haha.
 
Update #3 - Comment from BoRU #2 - April 24, 2023 (17 days later)

He explained that Tiff is stuck and while I might be afraid she is even more afraid because she has no one and I need to reassure her we are here for her as a family.

Most-excellent dad.

OOP: tbh this was the statement that made me wake up. At that time I just saw everything as a burden, I lived off of adrenaline and honestly the moment she said she was pregnant until I made that post everything was a blur. I was scared and just really confused about life. I was tired and I couldnt think everything was a fog.
Tiff and I talked a lot about how regardless of whatever happens in our future she is my family, we are a family. Being 16 I wanted to just be with my family, my mom walked away and it was just me and my dad and a baby and now a gf. I know that sounds selfish but that is how I was thinking and really overwhelmed.
With therapy and my dad it really helped me I wouldnt say get over but really find my own voice and be myself and actually use my words. I just bottled everything in and when my dad said that it really did break through to me.

 
My Dad's gf is pregnant, my dad doesnt know and she doesnt know he is going to propose and I am so happy and I need to get it off my chest before I explode and accidentally tell them - September 11, 2023 (five months later)
My Dad (38) has been trusting me to not spill the beans that he is going to propose to his gf (33) lets call her Kay on his bday in 2 weeks! I helped pick up the ring when it was ready and have been hiding it for a month!
But Kay spent the weekend with us and was acting very "moody" I dont want to make it sound bad because its not, but she usually is an early riser and very bubbly but this weekend she seemed very tired and different. I heard my dad yell down to the basement "we will be back" I yelled back ok. I went upstairs to get some snacks out of boredom and went into the guest bathroom not thinking anything about the door being closed and she was there staring at a pregnancy test. We locked eyes and I immediately shut the door. I waited for her to come out or say something but then I heard her crying and I knocked and opened the door and she looked at me and said she's pregnant and started sobbing. My 1st reaction was to yell for joy and then reality hit. I am 18 and my dad will be starting over and I have a daughter and my dad is a grandpa already.
She asked me to keep it a secret and she believes she is about 9 wks pregnant she would have to check but yeah. I am finally going to be a big brother! I cant tell him and I cant tell her of the all around great news! I told her to wait until his bday because he would love it. I know my dad, he is going to be estatic probably scared but definitely excited.
My dad has helped me become a pretty good father and even a good partner to my gf, hes an awesome dad and grandpa, now we both get to be Dads together. I cant wait to tell him (um did you check the baby's diaper LOL).
Sorry had to get this off my chest. I cant tell my gf, my dad or my future step mom AHHHHH.
Edit - Lets clear the air. She is happy to be pregnant and overwhelmed, she was sobbing because she didn't think it could happen because she was with her ex for 6 years and never got pregnant. Also, yes, I am 18 almost 19 with a 2.5 y/o daughter, and my GF and I live in basement of my dad's house.
Update - I survived dinner and Kay brought up a baby and my dad laughed saying oh man that would be awesome but it's not in our cards (this is because Kay believed she couldnt have babies) and mentioned maybe adoption or more grandkids. Sidenote he will have to wait a long time for more grandkids, I learned my lesson.
We discussed my Dad's bday and Kay's mom is going to make his favorite dish Enchiladas and its going to be at the house after we convinced my dad to have a small party with Kay's, parents and siblings, us and a few of his close friends. She thinks she is going to surprise him and he is thinking he won by having her family here. I feel like this is going so well and I will update everyone when it happens but I do appreciate the forum to express myself. I am not on Reddit very often as I am switching from 4 10's to 2nd shift and in training of 2nd shift stuff.
 
Update - September 26, 2023 (2 weeks later)
UPDATE - Well here is an update!
The past 2 weeks has been hell to keep all this in and not accidentally tell anyone anything! But this is how it all went. It took me a while to make this update because I have been in my feels.
Monday my Dad tried to sleep in like usual but my daughter was not having it so we made him breakfast in bed and they watched Disney movies and danced until 11 am.
The rest of the day I spent cleaning the house and prepping for everyone, my gf Tiff went to go pick up Kay's parents at 330 and were at the house by 4. Kay showed up around 430. Just some info - Kay's parents are older and live with her at her house so they can save their money from working to retire faster and possibly spend the winters in warmer climate and summers here with Kay.
Dinner was amazing and we all had a great time and Jelly was definitely stealing the spotlight trying to "help" blow out Pa's candles but he didnt mind so much. The whole time my heart was racing and I was trying to figure out how to help my Dad propose and help Kay tell him.
So the way it happened - was that my Dad put the engagement ring in a gift bag to make it look like it was a gift to him and he planned on opening it last to surprise her, she planned on her gift having the ultrasound picture last to surprise him, as you see this wasnt working because they were both adamant on which gift being last. Again, I am struggling trying to middle man because he wasnt listening and I didnt want her to get upset. So we finally convinced him to open Kay's present before his. Arguing with the birthday boy was giving me dirty looks from everyone and Tiff ended up elbowing me in my ribs to cut it out. I was stressed.
So my Dad opens Kay's gift and sees the ultrasound in a frame but didnt look at the name or anything just the ultrasound and he stared me down and then looked at Tiff and yelled "youre pregnant? Im having another grandbaby?" literally he yelled it so loud, everyone yelled congrats and Tiff yelled back F*ck No. The look of confusion on everyones face and Kay over there snort laughing and said "no Im pregnant". My Dad just blank faced stared at her for what felt like eternity which was really like 10 seconds and asked are you sure? She said yes and showed her name on the ultrasound and thats when my Dad just started crying and hugging her. He was so happy and his hands where shaking and he was hugging everyone saying he was going to be a Dad again. I nudged him and he quickly ran to get his gift and got on one knee and proposed. Now everyone is crying Kay said yes and honestly we probably could have cured some land drought with all the tears in the room. Kay's mom almost had a heart attack and her Dad couldnt stop hugging Kay and my Dad. Tiff was surprised I kept this for so long and didnt even tell her. I did ask for them to not stress me out like this if they planned a gender reveal and to just give it to someone else lol. the stress from all this literally made me nauseous!
here is where I am in my feels and why it took a while for me to write this.
When my gf was pregnant I didnt have that sense of joy and happiness and feeling like my Dad did. He is so excited and now he is engaged and you can just see and feel it all over him. He wouldnt stop touching Kay's stomach and kissing her. When Tiff told me she was pregnant I was scared and wanted to run. I love my daughter and she is so awesome but even going to the dr appts Tiff and I would cry after because how real it was and we werent happy. I wouldnt change any of it but some part of me feels robbed obviously this is our own fault but that doesnt take away the feeling. Then the other portion of reality hit, Kay has her own house her own family, my Dad has us, but I have my own family now and this will change everything. When is he going to move in with her? Do I take over the mortgage payments? I planned on building my credit to get approved but I thought I had time, but it seems like time was yesterday. What now about my family? She doesnt want to get married out of need but want, but what happens if something happens to me? Where will they go? where will my daughter live? How do I secure their future like my Dad did for me? anyway I hope this was the update everyone was looking for! I just want to thank everyone for giving me strength to hold on to this secret. When I felt like I was going to explode I would just come back and read the comments!
Relevant Comments
thankyouandplease: Congratulations! I have been following your story for a while and am so happy it all worked out. Regarding your “feels,” I totally understand where you’re coming from but please don’t feel bad. You and your father are at completely different stages in life and you couldn’t help your feelings at the time of Tiff’s pregnancy. We can’t change the past, only the future. And I know your head is swimming with anxiety but your dad has proven how much he cares about you and your family so I know it will all work out. The only constant in life is change but you’re surrounded by good people who will get you through it. Good luck to you.

OOP: yeah I know, I definitely dont want to take a way from their happiness so I havent brought it up. Just racing thoughts is all. My dad is a great dad.

Unfair-Mortgage-527:Firstly, huge congrats to your Dad and all of you. Couldn't think of a better family for this little one to be born into.
Secondly, do not forget what you have already overcome. You had all these worries with a teen pregnancy and look at you today? As a loving family unit, you will work it out together. Your Dad and Kay would never abandon you. You're in a better position now than you were before. And you're not alone. I promise everybody worries about the future and making ends meet but it's not all on your shoulders. Remember all you've learnt from therapy too - about sharing your thoughts and communicating well. Deep breath. You're doing amazingly well!
Can't even begin to convey how proud I feel for an Internet stranger! I think you and your Dad and whole family (and Jelly most of all) give us all the feels!

OOP: Youre right. I just worry in general and I feel like I should just handle it. My Dad just handled it but again I am not sure if he was ever really worried but he never seems worried. He just does stuff

 

----NEW UPDATE----

Update - April 19, 2024 (7 months later)
So I have been receiving a lot of messages asking for an update, which is really wholesome but also feels weird to see my life on other SM platforms and now Tiff has seen them she said I need to keep this up lol.
So idk its been 7 or 8 months? but Kay and my dad got married! he is living his best life ever but of course it didnt come without drama from my mom. She when she found out my dad was having another baby and getting married she completely flipped out, she started to call him to the point of harassment but it didnt bother him until she went after Kay and thats when he shut it down. I am not sure what he did but he drove over to her place and that was the last I heard about it. Rumorville is that he threatened to show the church what she was doing and saying which isnt "very christian like" and that was enough for her. Kay is due really soon she is 38wks pregnant and I will soon be a big brother to my little sister.
On the other front Tiff is kicking school's ass she has been taking 5 classes a semester on a fast track for an ADN if she keeps up this pace without burning herself out she should be done by early next year. After that she is going to take a gap year before pursuing her BSN and in hopes that she can do it online and have the hospital do some type of tuition reimbursement so we dont have to pay out of pocket anymore.
Jelly is doing great and will start pre-k this fall and we are nervous since she has always been home with us and taken care of by us that the idea of her being somewhere else and us not have full access to her is really scary. Work has been really great and I have made some really good friends there and I have been considering going into the welders union for the benefits and future pension. My job though doesnt want me to join the union and have offered to pay me more money to not join which to me screams red flag.
My dad moved in with Kay and her parents, I have been paying half of the mortgage and the house bills, the goal is for me to buy the house from my dad in the next few years to relieve him of the burden of taking care of housing me and my family.
Therapy is going great we moved our couples/family therapy to once a month because during my individual therapy my therapist asked me to be evaluated for ADHD and depression. Which come to find out I do have ADHD which makes a lot of sense especially when it comes to school and all my racing thoughts. I am now medicated and its like my brain is awake. I have less outbursts, I am not as easily overwhelmed to the point of anxiety and its really helped Tiff and I a lot. Its easier for me to articulate my emotions now and not have them just fester and create chaos in my brain.
I got into Wheel of Time series and I saw somewhere that the books are better and I read the 1st book. I have to admit this is the 1st time I can honestly say I read a book. thinking about high school I never read the chapters I skimmed through them to get by.
I cant express how much happier we are right now, Kay's parents have been the grandparents we always wished for and they treat us with so much love and respect and they just love Jelly so much they take her to the park and sometimes just stop by on Tiff and I to see how we are doing. We are constantly over there at Kay's place we go there twice a week for dinner and Jelly cant wait to meet the baby we are all excited.
Tiff and I had some very serious conversations, while we are nowhere near ready to have another baby and or to get married we both have agreed that we would revisit the idea of marriage and expanding our family when we are 25. We dont want to rush anything more than we already have and she wants to focus on school and career. We did throw the idea of getting married for the benefits of in case something happens to me with life insurance, the house etc. but my dad was able to help us with getting a lawyer to make a will and trust. Our main goal is to take care of Jelly, save money and plan a family trip to Disney this summer.
Relevant Comments
ZestyLemonAsparagus: That’s so exciting! Let Tiff know that we are all grateful for her telling you to do this. You should always listen to her, she seems really smart, especially about doing a gap year and then continuing towards her BSN.
And as a fellow guy who was diagnosed with ADHD after I finished school as well… congratulations on finishing that book! That’s an accomplishment I respect.

OOP: Yeah I was pretty proud of that, I realized I had to re-read the sentence over and over, it was like I didnt know how to read. I read the sentence but I wasnt reading I was just saying words in my head. It took me around 2 months to read it. I kept getting frustrated and my therapist said I should read out loud until I get used to reading.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I hope to find a kind-hearted woman to build a lasting relationship with. Genuine and kind, someone I can talk to about anything and everything. I want a partner who's excited to share their knowledge and experiences with me, grow together, learn new things from each other, and connect on a deeper level. You can share your thoughts and ideas with me, and I'll be happy to discuss all kinds of topics. I want us to build a wholesome relationship where being there for each other is enough.
This part is about what I'm looking for in a relationship: - Mutual love and respect and care, my chest will be your pillow while we binge episodes and watch a lot of things while cuddling, romantic dinners, cooking together, enjoying life to the fullest , holding hands while walking , going to the beach, traveling to new places, trying new things and experiencing what life has to offer together :) . Being there for each other through good and bad times . You can always count on me and tell me everything, I will be the shoulder you can lean on. I'm very romantic and I have a lot of love to give. When we are together expect me to always hug you, kiss you on your forehead, hold your hands and express my love to you and how much you mean to me while I look deeply into your eyes . Romantic moments and lovely things like giving each other pet names, making you bed surprise breakfasts. Tons of Cuddles and hugs . I will always sheer you up, motivate you, and help you . I'll always be there for you.
As for my physical attributes, I have light brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes, average looking guy. I have a photo in my profile. Personality-wise, I'm an ENFP MBTI type with a bubbly, caring, affectionate, patient, and ambitious personality. I'm easy-going, non-judgmental, and an ambivert depending on the day. I have a good sense of humor and always make my friends laugh. My hobbies and sports include running, calisthenics, cycling, cooking, and hiking. I enjoy reading, playing video games, traveling, camping, watching movies, TV shows, documentaries, and anime.
I'm not religious .
I can speak four languages and hope to learn more in the future. I love to do many activities like having long walks and exploring new places. When it comes to indoors, I'm very creative at finding ways to enjoy our time. I love discussing all kinds of topics; we can talk about anything from history, geography, cinema, sports, religion, philosophy, languages, food, politics, spiritualism, video games, travel, cultures, technology, and more.
Currently located in Morocco. I'm looking for someone who's okay with long-distance until we figure things out.
When it comes to films, TV shows, and anime, it's hard to pick favorites, so you can ask me later. As for music, I enjoy classic hip-hop, rap, rock/post-rock, jazz, 80s music, some metal, classic, ambient, pop, and soundtracks. I used to watch anime growing up, and I still enjoy it, but I don't watch it as much as years go by, still watching certain weekly releases.
Thank you for reading through all this! If you're interested, please contact me through DM or chat. Introduce yourself and tell me a bit about you, write more than Hey.

October Seventeen
The bombs have stopped falling.
All invading ships have retreated or been shot down. Any survivors will be captured by the local authorities or be forced to survive in the wilderness. It officially ends with a victory for Earth.
Disaster relief has begun. The persona has heard whispers among the politicians about letting the extra-terrestrials provide assistance.
But I can not help. The city wasn't hit. But I cannot leave. I can feel the city’s anger, Their fear, their bloodlust.
I need to keep the element under control. It may no longer stay hidden in the shadows. It will only get worse before it gets better.
The amount that made it off-planet is still unknown.
[Memory Transcription Subject: Calil, Venlil Civilian]
Date [standardized human time]: January 1, 2137
“Good Morning and Happy New Year. The space shuttle U.N.S. Drake, containing human professionals regarding law enforcement, is scheduled to arrive at Skalga later today.”
I stared at the predator on the Holoscreen. Their broad shoulders. Their muscular arms. Perfect for catching and ripping prey apart.
I could only imagine their monstrous face. It was hidden by the automatic censor feature but I could tell from the way they moved their head what hid under it.
Binocular eyes. Bloodthirsty pools of malice. Always searching for their next unholy meal.
I couldn't see the corrupting mouth that produced the deep barks that my translator somehow made into words, but I knew that it was probably full of fangs and smeared in blood.
“The members of the police are volunteers for an exchange program with the exterminator guild of Skalga.”
I lay on the pull-out couch in the living room of the apartment that I shared with my sister and our dad. We’ve lived in it since mom died, since my accident.
I looked down at my legs. They were barely legs. Useless, mangled pillars of flesh were all they were now. Uneven, ugly patches of fur covered the bruised evidence of my greatest shame.
“The project is meant to foster a greater working relationship with the public institutions of our neighbour planet.”
I was six cycles old. It had been an Arxur raid. A stampede.
Dad and Carva had found me and Mom after all the noise had stopped.
She had been lying on top of me.
“Among the participants are officers, detectives, and even commissioners from all corners of Earth. We hope that we can both learn from each other.”
Only through our uniquely prey-like empathy was I allowed to live. If I’d been a predator, I would’ve been left to rot. To be eaten.
Since that paw, I have spent most of my time on this couch. I was useless. A burden to the Herd.
Carva and Dad had to work extra just to feed me. Carva had to take a job that led to her being around predators, all claws of the paw.
She was on that ship. She had to be surrounded by hungry monsters for paws. She had to speak and teach those poor assimilations of sapiens that their crude and violent ways wouldn't stand on our planet.
She had to endure that for me.
“They will stay for six months, longer if the Venlil Republic and the UN deem it necessary.”
Dad should’ve been allowed to retire by now. His knees were weak. I could see them shaking after coming home from his job. I could see it even when he tried to hide it.
I could see from the state of our apartment that it still wasn't enough. We’re slowly being devoured by my state of being, I could see it.
“Rumours of multiple crime families taking advantage of the lack in Venlil crime prevention has been circulating.”
When Carva returns later this paw, I will tell her. I will tell her to move out. To take Dad somewhere else. To let him and her rest. To leave me so they could escape. She could still live her life. I couldn't.
“We hope the experience of our police force will be able to better prevent these organizations from establishing themself as permanent fixtures on Skalga.”
My life ended with mom.
“On to other news, Lucius Fox, C.E.O. of…”
I switched channels.
[Memory Transcription Subject: Lanek, Gojid Exterminator]
When I entered the office it was in chaos. It didn't surprise me. The guild had been in a state of disarray for paws at this point. Ever since first contact with the predators.
But this paw felt somehow more. There had only been a few paws that the office had shared this energy with. Governor Tarva’s announcement of the exchange programs, the declaration of war with the Federation, and the human refugee program.
Those paws had been terrible. There were some moments during those that I felt like a stampede would start.
This paw was close to that.
All I could see around me was the bodies of my many co-workers as they rushed past me. I could hear the angry beeping as they furiously wrote on their holopads.
The slow, bubbling tension that I had felt bubbling in the office before was entirely replaced with this ravenous chaos. I could see one of the juniors, a Kraktol, sitting curled up under one of the desks, slowly rocking back and forth. They would probably be screened for Predator Disease later.
I did my best to make my way through the office and I finally made it to my desk. My desk was part of a herd of two other desks. My squad mate Moerln already was sitting at the desk opposite of mine. The third desk belonged to our squad leader Curlsim. It was empty. Ever since the bombing of the human planet, he had rarely shown up at work.
‘Hello’ Moerln was entirely absorbed in some primitive paper files he was holding. He signalled me with a tail-wave when I made it to my seat. He was used to me not responding to tail-language due to my short Gojid tail.
I sat down and greeted him verbally.
“What is happening?” I asked after a moment of silence. He finally looked up from the files.
“Haven't you heard?” He looked confused.
“The predators are coming here” He said with one of his claws pointed down on the floor.
I stared at his paw. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying.
“Wh… at?” I managed to say. I could hear the shaking in my voice.
“Tarva made a deal with the predators’ government to send their exterminators so we can learn from each other.” I could hear the almost predatory hatred he said each word.
What was Tarva thinking? I had never fully believed the claims that people like Moerln made, that she had Predator Disease, but this was pushing it. She was meant to protect us, to protect the Herd. How could she let trained predators onto our planet?
“These are the two we’re getting,” Moerln interrupted my thoughts and threw his two files at me.
Two predators? Two bloodthirsty monsters in our station? I couldn't breathe. This had to be a joke. A dream. A Nightmare.
I didn't know what to do. I wanted to run. To leave this cursed place that soon would be infected with the true source of Taint.
But the exterminators couldn’t run. We were the only ones allowed to break the circle. The cleaners of the Taint. The Cure.
“If the predators lose control here, we could burn them. The Herd wouldn't be at risk if the monsters never make it out of the station.”
Moerln was whispering in my ear now. His breath felt wet on my fur.
“Think about it, TWO predators. They will drive each other to ferality in a bloody competition.”
He pointed a claw down on the files. There were no pictures. I probably would have stampeded if there were.
There was information in neat rows about the two dangers that soon would be stalking our sacred halls.
The predators’ profiles were very different. The only things they shared were gender and “city” of origins.
‘As if predators could build cities, what kind of place was called Gotham anyways?’
[Memory Transcription Subject: James “Jim” Gordon, Human Police Commissioner, GCPD]
‘You're getting too old for this Jim.’
That was the thought that crossed my mind as I stared out the window of our shuttle. What faced me was blackness. A never-ending dark ocean surrounded our meagre vessel. The void in my sight was only broken by the white dots that lit up this dark universe. There were as many as the volume of the darkness around us. Placed in beautiful arrangements by the careful hands of artists. The vast terrifying beauty of it could make one ponder one's place in creation.
On the opposite side of a pane of glass that felt way too thin, was an endless night. A night that contains all the dreams and desires of sapience. All of death and destruction was contained in it. Our destiny was there, as well as our despair. It was delirious.
I was in space. And that wasn't a fact I was terribly excited about.
Despite what my thoughts and my two children try to say, I wasn’t that old. Only forty-eight. Many days I felt older. Scarcely few younger. It was mostly the worrying red-to-gray ratio in my hair when I looked in the mirror. Barbara sometimes joked about me qualifying for senior discounts at coffee shops.
Bullock had joked that my “overworked, drowned kitten” look would make the aliens see me less like a dangerous predator, and more like a declawed cat.
‘Holy Maria, the aliens.’
If there was something I hadn't expected ever to get involved with, it was aliens.
The dark, dim, and dreaded streets of Lady Gotham seemed so far removed from the interplanetary century-long war that humanity had stepped into.
I had been asleep on July twelfth. Working nights for two weeks straight made any attempt to wake me more difficult than my job.
The existence of aliens hadn’t seemed like the biggest deal to me. Or at least not the most relevant. I could understand the implication it had on humanity’s place in the universe. But it felt like we lived in an era where our conception of what was possible was shaken every decade. The invention of F.T.L. engines raised many more questions on the nature of physics than life on other planets.
Aliens fearing us made me confused. Cannibal aliens made me angry. More details on the practices of the “good” aliens just made me tired.
It seems no matter how far across the galaxy humanity traverses, we cannot escape prejudice, violence, or corruption. That was apparently the nature of sapients.
So here I was, on an actual spaceship, heading to a planet sixteen lightyears away. Someone at the precinct had told me that was around two and a half pentameters. I had yet to understand what that meant and I had no interest in asking for clarification. Whatever those numbers meant in terms I could understand would only make me regret accepting this assignment even more.
‘Teaching aliens ethical policing? Sure, why not?’
It wasn't like the place we were going to’s current policy for almost any sort of criminal action was literally “Burn away the Taint”.
It wasn't like their closest attempt at crime prevention was to throw anyone showcasing “predatory behaviour" in “predator disease” facilities for “treatment”.
Barbra and Tim had hacked all official networks on Skalga and given me files on what constituted “predatory behaviour" and what “treatments” were given. I had almost thrown up. Especially seeing the age of some "patients" admitted.
It was hopeless. I didn't understand why I had been chosen for this. I wondered if Cobblepot, or any other of the many mob bosses back home, had bribed some U.N. official to get me away from Gotham. Almost a decade of rooting out the corruption in the police force hadn't made me popular with the City’s shadowy ruling class.
It hadn't made me popular with many politicians either so the old belief of the American government hating Gothamites might be true in this case.
Sending me to a planet where the inhabitants wanted to burn me alive was probably as good a way as any to get me out of the way.
A few rows up from mine sat the only other Gotham cop on this mission, Detective Richard Grayson-Wayne.
He was currently occupied with speaking to one of the few Venlil staff members onboard. She had quickly introduced herself as Carva before take-off and had spent the rest of the flight shaking in her seat. She had said that if we had any questions about our destination, we should ask her but it was hard when she looked like she would rather be anywhere but here.
Grayson was the only one of us who had attempted to have a conversation with her.
Out of all I knew, he had been the most excited about aliens when we made first contact, and the most distressed when he learned of their extreme fear of us.
But it seemed like this fear wouldn't stop him from trying to make friends with the aliens, even if his winning smile was more of a roadblock than a help.
From what I could see from my seat, it was more of a one-sided conversation.
I knew that Richard could gush for hours about anything and everything if no one stopped him. He had enough natural excitement and charisma to keep a conversation alive even if the other barely participated.
I wondered if the jubilant tidlewave of personal information would make Carva more or less terrified of humans but at least there wasn't an awkward silence between them.
I once again turn to look out of the window. The stars outside look somewhat different. I wondered what would happen when we arrive on Skalga.
[Memory Transcription Subject: Carva, Venlil - Human relations coordinator]
I had barely been able to make it out of the grocery shop before my legs finally collapsed. The stress from multiple paws spent alone on a space shuttle with multiple humans had finally caught up to me.
I sat on the ground breathing deeply for multiple claws. No matter how long I sat there, my knees wouldn't stop shaking.
It angered me. It shouldn't affect me this way.
As one of the very few Venlil who signed up to be a Venlil - Human relations coordinator, my job was to make sure that interactions between the humans and venlil went as smoothly as possible. That meant that I was exposed to the presence of humans all paw, almost every paw. I should be used to the presence of humans by now.
I had been to only one of the coordinators who took the trip to Earth to pick the humans up. All the others decided that they would rather spend their time hollered up in their respective Exterminators' office. As if they could make the humans disappear by ignoring them.
Whether one believes that the humans would eat and enslave us at first opportunity didn't matter, I knew that befriending our new planetary neighbours was the only practical action.
The Federation had abandoned us, invaded us. Left us alone, on the edge of Arxur territory and right next to the second-ever sapient predator species. Current events have shown how little they cared for us. To them, we were only a thin buffer to keep their monsters away. We were the outer ring of the Herd. The ones that died so the others could escape.
But we didn't die. When the humans came, we expected it. We accepted it. We welcomed it as the better alternative. Anything was better than cattle.
But the humans hadn’t granted us death. They hadn’t mauled us. They hadn’t consumed us. By all logical reasons, they would have taken advantage. We’d surrendered at the first sight of them.
But the humans had given us the life we surrendered to them. The lives the Federation had surrendered for us.
No, the humans were the only option. The only way forward.
I had learnt many times that you had to make difficult decisions in order to move forward. You could only get somewhere if you kept moving.
If that meant spending claws upon claws among humans, so be it.
‘But it would be nice if we could do that without having to spend claws upon claws on a sidewalk afterward.’ My always annoying mind interjected.
‘But the sidewalk is so nice and stable.’ was my response.
After some more moments of heavy breathing, I finally make an attempt to stand up. I needed to get home to Calil and Dad. The paws it took to travel to Earth and back was the longest time I had ever been away from them. They must have missed me a lot. It was with a mix of sadness and happy excitement that I thought about our small apartment and finally being home.
As I began walking home I thought about my job. Being a coordinator meant higher pay. It made it easier to take care of Calil. It meant that Dad wouldn't have to work as hard. But it also meant longer paws. It meant working all paw with the humans.
While I by now was pretty used to the humans’ unnerving head movements that betrayed their binocular eyes, some part of me had felt stress and anxiety build up during the space flight home.
I had been lucky, almost none of the humans on the trip back had been particularly talkative. The only one had been what I’d assumed to be a young male.
During the entire trip, he’d tried to speak with me. I had felt rude and awkward as I just sat in the seat next to him in anxious silence. But it didn't seem like he minded.
He had spoken at length about almost everything that had passed his mind. He spoke about his job, recently making what he called “detective”. He had said it was the lowest rank to qualify for the exchange program.
While most of what he had said was things I didn't have context to but the warm way he had spoken about his family had made me feel somewhat hopeful about the program. It had calmed me down enough to manage an exchange of names and numbers.
While my entire job situation was causing me untold amounts of stress, I wouldn't mind if “Dick” was assigned to the same office as me.
While walking down the street I looked around and noticed that it was much darker than I remember. The apartment we lived in was in one of the worst neighbourhoods in the Capital. Taller-than-average buildings block out the light from our ever-stable star. They were inhabited by families who couldn't always pay their power bill every limb. The already dim streets missing the light from the windows, were draped in dark shadows. I guess I had gotten used to the brightness of Earth days.
Looking around the street that had become too narrow due to extensions on the surrounding buildings, I felt my fur start to stiffen. I hadn't realized it earlier but there were a significant number of humans around me.
It made logical sense. Since the bombing of Earth, both Human and Gojid refugees needed somewhere excluding the refugee to stay. It made sense that the only place was the cheaper neighbourhoods like mine.
Even if it was completely natural, having beings around me on this usually abandoned street, especially non-prey, made me anxious again. It was like I never got off the ship.
There were humans around me. Seven of them. I hadn’t noticed until they were close enough that we could have looked like any normal herd you saw on the streets if you ignored that it was made up of predators.
They stuck out somewhat, even against the other humans. They were all larger than most humans I’d seen. The fur on the top of their head was cut short. Some had fur on the side and front of their faces. No noticeable mammaries. It lined up with what had been told was most common amongst human males. None of them wore face coverings.
They seemed to have completely taken control of me. Every time I tried to move away from one of them I would bump into another. I was trapped in this strange herd.
Suddenly all of them turned. I was forced to follow them into an alley. There was almost no natural or artificial light.
Their sudden turn and sudden stop made me fall to my knees on the dirty ground.
I looked up at them. They all stared down at me. They were smiling. For the first time in a while, those smiles actually looked predatory. I was trapped by their terrifying mirthful gaze. For once my mind and body agreed on a single action.
‘Run run run run run run run run run run run RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!!’
I couldn't run. They were standing around me in a tight circle.
“Are you Carlil’s daughter, doll?” - said the large human in front of me.
He looked no different than the others surrounding me. Large, with muscles that could easily rip me to easily munchable shreds. He had no fur on the top of his head but a lot on his face. His strange human pelts were green and purple.
I could only whimper in response.
“No, no, no doll. You don't have to cry. We promise we won’t hurt ya”
He spoke to me like I was an unruly pup. In soft tones but with a clear sound of annoyance.
“Y.. y .. ye…yes” - I managed to respond.
“Good, that's good. You see, you're exactly who we're looking for.” - His smile grows wider.
“W..wha..”
“We thought about going to your daddy first but then I thought that this would send a much better message.”
I couldn't understand what the predator was talking about. What did it want with me or Dad?
“It's a very important message that you sheep need to learn. You see when one makes an agreement it's important that every part fulfils their end. The Capozzis can't go around making promises when there are no consequences for one's failings.”
Not a single word out of its maw made any sense. I felt like throwing up. I could feel my consciousness dim. I didn't want to be here any more.
“Don't worry little lamb” - He said with his grotesque snarl reaching from one side of his face to the other. In his paw was a long metallic object.
“.. But your dearest daddy might have to make room for you next to your brother.”
He raised his weapon above his head. I prepared myself for the pain that would surely come.
Then six predators became five.
From the too dark shadows came, too fast to see, a large shape. Grabbed from behind, one of the men’s surprised yell cuts out quickly when pulled into the darkness.
The main predator’s smile vanishes. It’s eyes wide. I can see the sweat making his furless head shine in the little light from the street.
“No…” - it whispered.
“Boss, it's da…” - One of the other predators said. It sounded hesitant.
“IT’S NOT THE BAT!” - It roared.
Five became four as another predator was dragged into the shadows. It didn't have the chance to scream before what could only be its death.
Another was pulled upwards but never came down.
The smallest of the three remaining pulled out a black object. It’s limbs were shaking as it pointed the object at the shadows.
“S…s…staY BACK! - It screamed “I’LL SHOOT!”
The shape came from above.
A loud crack to be heard as the predator with the object and the one standing next to it were slammed into the ground.
The being that stood in front of us was if shadows had come to life. The predator that stood in front of me raised his metal tool. I could see it’s paw shake.
Neither it or the being in front of us made a sound. What was happening in front of me wasn't something I could understand. It was something primal and old that I was witnessing.
Suddenly the predator moved. It let out a scream and charged the living darkness.
A pitch black hand took shape from the being and grabbed the weapon. In a single movement the predator was on the ground groaning in pain. The black shape bent down and delivered a final devastating blow to its head and everything became silent.
I could only stare as I got my first good look at the being that had saved me from the predators.
Before me stood a being that looked like no other species in the galaxy. A living shadow draped in darkness.
The only thing that looked in any way similar to something I knew was the almost humanlike head. But no human head had such hornlike protrusion. No human had those glowing white eyes.
I came to the realization, this was a predator.
The shock that had held my instincts at bay vanished. My heart began to race again. I wanted to run but I just couldn't make my legs move.
I just stood there as the monster approached me. This was it. This was how I was going to die.
I was saying my goodbyes to Calil and Dad as the thing stopped before me. I could feel its paws move quickly over my limbs but I couldn't bring myself to attempt to resist. It was probably checking if I was better to eat now or be more fit for cattle. Its glowing binocular eyes bore into mine.
“Are you hurt?”
It’s voice was low and deep in a way no other human voice had been. It felt like it could make my bones shake. But I could hear a strange softness that I couldn't make sense of. Why hasn't it eaten me yet?
“Do you have a safe place to go to?”
I could only give an affirmative tail-swish. It seemed to understand as it rose from me.
“Good, stay safe.”
I heard a sound behind me and turned to look. I couldn’t see anything in the darkness.
I turned my head back to the shadow but it was gone.
I was completely alone in the alleyway.
***
Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the setting
Batman was created by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, and is owned by DC Comics.
Sorry to anyone who was waiting for Led by Fire chapter 4 but I got inspired.
This will probably be a oneshot for now.
If anyone wants to continue this, I would be glad to beta read or co write.
To u/Ben_Elohim_2020 , if you don't like how I portrait the Capozzis I can change it to any Gotham crime family of your choice.
I really like Batman.
No beta we die like Jason Todd.
I’m trying to figure out how to structure dialogue and action scenes.
Also how do you hyperlink on reddit?
The post I copied didn't work.
Please leave your thoughts in the comments, I'm trying to improve my writing.
I apologize for any mistakes. English isn't my first language

A while back I made a post (linked below) about how safe withdrawal rates are impacted by valuations. At the time, I also did a shallow dive into asset allocation impacts, and found some pretty interesting stuff. I finally got around to creating a deep dive summary of my findings. This particular post is only concerning 10 year annualized returns, but my findings were quite similar for safe withdrawal rates. I plan on doing a follow up soon with just SWR impacts, which should be much shorter, but this felt like a good jumping off point.
O.G. POST
Introduction
As of this writing, first drafted on April 22 2024, the Shiller PE sits at 33.27. Many analysts and investment managers will tell you to fear this number. In his latest memo, Jeremy Grantham says that today’s price-to-earnings metrics sit in the top 1% of modern history, sounding the alarm for U.S. equity bubble territory.

Well, the U.S. is really enjoying itself if you go by stock prices. A Shiller P/E of 34 (as of March 1st) is in the top 1% of history. Total profits (as a percent of almost anything) are at near-record levels as well. Remember, if margins and multiples are both at record levels at the same time, it really is double counting and double jeopardy – for waiting somewhere in the future is another July 1982 or March 2009 with simultaneous record low multiples and badly depressed margins.

I don’t think it’s quite so simple; it might not be appropriate to look at a single asset class in a vacuum the way that many in the investment community do. Is a 30+ PE high? Objectively, it sounds pretty frothy. If bonds were yielding 10%, I’d almost certainly say that bonds were more attractive. If they were yielding sub-2% like much of the post GFC decade, it might not be as straight forward. At a Shiller PE in the low 30’s, we have a very conservative 3% earnings yield (remember, Shiller averages the past 10 years of earnings) before even accounting for earnings growth. One might conclude that stocks have the slight edge in this case.
The point is, we can’t look at a single valuation metric and make an informed decision. We have to consider valuations of equities against the universe of other asset types.
With this post, my aim is to take a more holistic look at valuations - particularly valuation spreads - and see if we can’t make investment decisions based on our findings.
A Simple Visualization
A great place to start with this analysis, and the place that I started when I first began exploring this topic, is a quick visualization plotting stock yields vs bond yields. By doing so, we can start to form a picture on where we are in respect with history.
PICTURE
It’s important to point out what inferences we might try to gage from this chart.
First, intuition tells us that high earnings yields and high bond yields (as defined by the 10-year treasury, in this case) would lead to high forward equity and bond returns, respectively. So the further right on the plot we are, the higher the future equity returns might be. Likewise, the higher (vertically) the point is, the higher the bond returns should be.
With further inspection, the right most points correspond with the years surrounding the late 1910’s and early 1920’s; leading into what has been monikered the roaring 20’s.
1982 is also highlighted on this plot; which was the kickoff to one of the strongest bond and bull markets in history.
These are in-line with our expectations: high returns happen when yields are high. Duh. Don’t worry, there’s more.
More generally, the further up and to the right we are on the aforementioned graph, the better we can expect forward returns to be for a diversified portfolio.
It’s apt to point out that 2022 was basically the inverse of 1982, having the lowest bond & stock yield combination in the modern era. In fact, the post-GFC era was essentially hugging the lower bounds of both stock and bond yields compared to the pre-GFC era.
We can also start to see a shadow of how bonds and stocks might be related. Perhaps when bonds are yielding higher than stocks, stock returns suffer in relation to bonds. We see that the year 2000 (the dotcom bubble top) had equity earnings yields just over 2% (the lowest in history) while treasuries were yielding nearly 7%. We all know how that turned out.
On that note, one might hypothesize that the spread between stock earnings yields and bond yields might be a predictor on how portfolios perform over time. More on that later.
Historical Equity-Bond Spreads
Let’s first define what the Equity-Bond Spread is:
Equity-Bond Spread = (1 / CAPE) - (10 Year Treasury Yield)
PICTURE
Again, the implication is that the higher the equity-bond spread (simply referred to as “spread” moving forward) the more attractive equities are in comparison to bonds (i.e., equity earnings yield of 10% looks more attractive than a 3% bond yield, the spread being 10% - 3% = 7%)
The figure below shows us the historical distributions of equity-bond spreads. Also noted, that today’s valuations lie in the left side of the distribution.
Excess Returns
The goal of this study is to see if we can find some indication on whether the spread between stock and bond yields is predictive of future returns.
The easiest way to accomplish this is to compare a stock heavy portfolio to a bond heavy portfolio. One might argue between something super stock heavy like a 90/10 (stock / bond) vs 60/40. But let’s first look at complete opposites of the spectrum: 90/10 vs 10/90.
We’ll define “excess return” as follows:
Excess Return = (10 year annualized return of 90 / 10 portfolio) - (10 year annualized return of a 10 / 90 portfolio)
As an example, in the year 1990, a 90/10 portfolio had a 10 year annualized return of 13.6% while a 10/90 portfolio had a 10 year annualized return of 5.3%, giving an excess return of 8.3%.
Also, in the year 1990, the Shiller PE was 17.05 giving a equity earnings yield of 5.87%. The 10 year treasury yield was 8.21% at that time. This gives a spread of -2.34%.
The point for 1990 is shown on the plot below at (-2.34% , 8.3%).
The red arrow denotes where we are in 2024.
PICTURE
The big takeaway from this plot is that 1) stocks outperform bonds almost always and 2) there is a decent correlation between the equity-bond spread and excess returns. When stocks yield much higher than bonds, stock heavy portfolios tend to do better, in comparison, vs when the spread is low or negative.
But we already knew that stocks typically perform better than bonds. The better assessment might be when to overweight stocks compared to a more traditional portfolio. Or, better yet, when to take the foot off the gas on a stock heavy portfolio. So let’s do the same exercise, this time comparing a 90/10 to a more traditional 60/40.
PICTURE
I’ve left the original 10/90 comparison on the plot for the visualization. As expected, the excess returns, across the board, are less pronounced because we’re comparing a stock heavy portfolio to a slightly less stock heavy portfolio. But the conclusion is clear. The spread does appear to have an impact on excess returns. In negative spread environments, we’re not paid nearly as much for the extra risk as when spreads are positive and wide. In highly positive spread environments, excess returns can be in the range of 3 - 5%. Which, we all know, can be very impactful over the long-run.
Understanding Valuation Drivers
For bonds, valuation is pretty easy: an investor can purchase a bond for a given yield-to-maturity (although returns on bonds aren’t quite as simple).
For equities, we should examine the components of the discounted cash flow model.
In the long run, a PE ratio might be estimated as follows (this is the terminal value equation):
PE = (1+g) / (d-g)
Above, “g” is the long run earnings growth rate, and “d” is the discount rate. In the case of price-to-earnings, “d” will be the cost of equity. I won’t cover these more in depth here because this is a very simplified look, but cost of equity is essentially a measure of risk or the required expected return for the asset.
From this, we can actually glean a lot of useful information.
If the security is considered very safe (ie low risk), the discount rate “d” will be low (since the required rate of return is typically lower for a safe asset). A low discount rate in the equation above will lead to a higher PE ratio.
Conversely, a risky security will have a high discount rate, which will lead to a lower PE.
A high long run growth rate, “g”, will increase the numerator and decrease the denominator, leading to a higher PE for a given discount rate.
From these three ideas, we see that risk and growth are comingled in valuations. Something that’s low risk and has low earnings growth might actually have the same high PE valuation as something that’s high risk and high earnings growth. But the expected return will actually be higher for the high risk security.
This all just to say that while PE ratios are related to forward expected returns, they don’t tell the full story. This is an important caveat to the next section.
Current Valuations By Asset Classes
The following data was pulled from Vanguards Website.
VOO = S&P 500 BND = Bond Index
VEA = Developed International VNQ = REITs
VWO = Emerging Markets
PICTURE
This chart isn’t meant to be used to decide what asset mixture to make your portfolio. Instead, it’s meant to be used, qualitatively, as a starting point to see what asset mixes might make sense to hold.
Typically, in terms of valuations, the further up and to the right (high starting yield + high earnings growth) on this graph indicates higher predicted forward returns.
But there are trade offs. Namely, this doesn’t account, directly, for risk. Bonds (BND) is considered ‘risk-free’, but it doesn’t offer any potential for earnings (or coupon) growth. Developed international (VEA) looks attractive compared to the S&P 500 (VOO) on a starting yield basis, but it has offered less earnings growth, and comes with extra baggage in terms of geopolitical risk. But high risk does typically mean higher potential returns. The same goes for Emerging Markets (VWO), but to an even greater extent.
Does History Have to Look Like the Past
Something else to consider, especially when looking back at the first couple of sections, is “does today have to look like the past?” Do current market environment have stocks overvalued, or is it that historic valuations had stocks inordinately undervalued?
Maybe stocks aren’t as risky as we first thought. Especially in the U.S., the largest companies might not carry a ton of risk at all. In that sense, maybe it was the early days of modern capitalism that were inefficient, and we’re now getting to a more balanced regime in terms of valuations, where risk-free bonds yield in the 3-5% range, and slightly riskier stocks return in the 5-7% range. In this case, the current spread environment would make sense, where starting yields are much closer, and the earnings growth potential of stocks makes up the difference in forward expected returns. But this would be all the more reason to hold a diversified portfolio. Why hold only stocks, when stocks and bonds will give a similar range of outcomes.
Stocks also offer other advantages over bonds. Namely inflation protection. If inflation spikes, bonds an investor is currently holding will not only lose value due to rising interest rates, but the purchasing power of the dollars tied to those bonds will decline over time. Stocks are somewhat more resilient in that revenues and earnings (assuming steady margins) will rise with inflation. In this sense, stocks are actually less risky than bonds or cash.
Inflation also affects the spread in another way. The CAPE ratio uses inflation adjusted earnings from the past. What this means is that in a high inflation environment, the CAPE ratio comes down without any correction in price. We saw this in 2022 where the CAPE fell nearly 30% while the S&P 500 only fell 18%. Due to this phenomena, in a high inflation environment, the metrics used above can correct themselves even while equity prices are climbing.
Another potential issue with this study is that accounting standards have changed over time. Earnings today may not be comparable to earnings of the past. I haven’t explored these potential differences here, but it might be prudent to do so if you were to use this study for actionable advice.
Conclusions
Are we in a Bubble?
To give Jeremy Grantham a rebuttal (although, I’m sure he’s not asking for one). No, I don’t think we’re in an outright bubble. U.S. markets might be frothy, and forward returns will probably be lower for U.S. stocks, but we’ve seen in the data above that 10 year returns have been fine given any market spread and valuation. Would I be surprised if we had another bear market? No. But I’d be just as un-surprised if we average 6-8% equity returns for the next decade.
Asset Allocations
To me, when presented with the data above, it doesn’t seem likely that we’ll be rewarded for holding an overweight U.S. equity portfolio. While equities should continue to outperform bonds for the next ten years, if today’s environment rhymes with history, holding an underweight stock portfolio won’t cost us much in terms of returns. But it may come with the added benefit of lower volatility and overall risk. An underweight portfolio also still has some potential to outperform. That all seems like a good trade-off.
In addition, international (both developed and emerging) markets have relatively enticing valuations and return prospects. While there’s no guarantee that either will outperform U.S. equities, they may offer uncorrelated returns that also won’t drag too much on the overall portfolio.
In general, given the current valuation environment, a balanced portfolio might be the best path forward for risk adjusted returns.
Citations
Shiller PE and Treasury Yield Data:
https://www.multpl.com/shiller-pe
Historical Return Data:
https://pages.stern.nyu.edu/~adamodaNew_Home_Page/datafile/histretSP.html

26/F - I guess I really don't know what to write, how to do this or anything - but this is the first post I have ever written on Reddit, due to it being anonymous, because the people in my life have frequently stated I am seeking attention.
I am a mother, of five children, some step, some biological. I am a full time worker, a full time student and a full time Mom. I don't know how to step back and take a break, if I have too much down time, I start to panic and feel even worse about myself. It is almost like the stress keeps me going.
I have high functioning autism, spinal issues, a connective tissue disease, hernia's, nearly every disk in my neck is slipped, my joints pop out of place easily, heart issues, temporary paralysis (assuming seizures), my stomach is always irritated to the point that nearly all foods make me extremely sick and nauseous, causing me to lose nearly 40lbs within a two months span. I have had severe/chronic depression since a young age (11), severe anxiety, OCD, panic disorder, etc. I could go on and on about my medical challenges alone that cause me chronic daily pain (proven, not hypochondriac). To top it off, I am allergic to most medications (or severely sensitive) including antibiotics, anti-anxiety, anti-depressant, bipolar, etc. It is very difficult getting doctors to actually listen to me or believe me because of how many issues I run into, even if I can show them proof.
I have tried several therapists for years, tried nearly every medication a psychiatrist is willing to prescribe me, writing journals, music, video games, exercise, hormone testing, almost anything I can try to take away this pain.
It is not that I want to die, but I no longer want to live. Life is painful, I love my children, but I hate that they have to see me hurt and suffer. It has been an endless thought in my head to end it all, and to be out of this pain, mentally and physically.
I guess even throughout my pain, I just want someone to feel like they have the motivation to help me. I have never found anything that helps make my physical and mental pain go away. I don't want to be an addict on pain relievers, and I need help mentally. I just don't know how much more I can do of this...
I want to watch my children grow, learn, go to school, live their dream, but I don't know if I can make it to that point. When my lows hit their ultimate lows it feels like nothing else matters, it feels like no one else cares, no family, friends, doctors, anyone. I'm always in such a low that people think I'm just bitching or attention seeking. In the feeling, nothing matters, not the pain that I will leave behind, I am just so sucked into my own selfish pains that nothing outside of my bubble matters anymore. And sometimes it just seems easier to go...
End of the day, I'm not sure I need advice, I just want to vent in a place where no one knows who I am.
Thank you for taking the time to read if you got this far.

Link to serial master post for other chapters
That night, even though she was as exhausted as usual, Madeline struggled to fall asleep. Even the soothing sound of static — Billie trying to make contact with their allies on the outside in the bunk above, thankfully masked by the breathing and snoring and grunting of their bunkmates — couldn’t help her drift off. Her thoughts were spinning with possibilities.
If the guard actually found Joe for Billie, what then? Would he join them here? Would they join him elsewhere? She was surprised to admit it after such a short time here, but she would be sad to give up the outside job of farmwork for anything else — though of course, any sacrifice was worth it to be reunited with loved ones.
She was so wrapped up in her own head, she almost didn’t notice when the hiss of static was replaced by another voice rather than Billie’s.
“Hello? Is that you Billie?”
Lena!
Madeline sat bolt upright, almost hitting her head on the bunk above. Squinting through the darkness, she scanned the room, checking to see if anyone else seemed to have heard. But exhausted as they were by the manual labour, everyone still seemed to be sound asleep. Besides, with the snoring and grunting and breathing of forty or so people, she just had to hope that Billie’s and Lena’s quiet whispering was only audible to her. And that anyone who did hear wouldn’t rat them out.
As she scrambled up the ladder to join Billie huddled over the walkie under the blankets, they grinned at her. “Yes, it’s me,” Billie whispered back. “What took you so long?”
“Do you know how hard it is searching for a lego block and UV paint trail in an area crawling with Poiloogs without attracting attention?”
The elation and relief swelling in Madeline’s chest bubbled up out of her as a giggle. “It’s really good to hear your voice, Lena,” she said.
“Madeline! It’s good to hear your voices too! How are you both getting on in there?”
The pair of them looked at each other. “Tired.”
“I was hoping for a little more detail… You know, the whole plan of you giving us information about the Poiloogs’ base that we can actually use…”
Billie rolled their eyes at Madeline, forcing her to stifle another giggle.
“Why don’t you at least try and get some sleep?” they whispered. “I can fill her in.”
“Are you kidding? You think I could sleep right now.”
“Fair enough. Come on then, you start.”
As they pressed down the button, Madeline started reciting everything that had happened since the moment the Poiloog had burst into the SU atrium.
When she got to the part about the guards mentioning that they could find people in the system for them, Lena interrupted. “Can they find anyone for you? You don’t have to be related or anything?”
“Nope, anyone,” she confirmed. Then, realisation dawned. Though she and Billie were there for very specific people, they weren’t the only ones who were a part of this mission. “Would you be able to collect a list of people everyone wants to find? I can’t promise much, it sounded like it will take quite a while, but we can at least try.”
When Madeline began to tire, Billie took over the retelling, with her nestled into their side. Their whispered voice resonated in their chest as they spoke, making her head tickle as she let their words wash over her.
She woke the next morning with a start when the lights came on, half-lying on top of Billie with the walkie digging into her back. The bed squeaked under them as they both sat up. As they rubbed the sleep from their eyes, they glanced at each other, and Madeline watched as a wide grin spread across Billie’s face, a mirror of her own.
That day in the orchard seemed to pass much more quickly than the others. Madeline was practically whistling while she worked.
She knew that it wasn’t like they had any kind of escape plan — and it was entirely possible that they never would — but progress was being made on all fronts. Marcus was finding Joe for them. They’d made contact with their allies. And they were still alive and together.
There might have been a few hiccups along the way, but all in all, Madeline was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly everything was going.
The next few nights were spent recounting every detail they could think of about the layout of the complex they were in and how the operations were run, along with Lena passing on a list of around fifty names for them to enquire about.
Given how long they seemed to have to wait between enquiries, the task seemed somewhat insurmountable. But it wasn’t like time was in short supply. And eager as she might be to have her freedom and free time back, spending a little longer in this place wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The work was hard, but it wasn’t that bad. Now that she was getting into the swing of things, she was confident she could keep this up almost indefinitely. Perhaps, with time, she’d even be able to get used to the cold sweep of terror that washed over her every time a Poiloog scuttled past. The food was good too, which certainly didn’t hurt. And she was here with Billie.
Her trips up to the top bunk became more and more frequent when no one in the dormitory seemed to complain. Falling asleep in each other's arms was something they never could have done on the outside. It would have been too dangerous. Now they could do it every night.
Yes. As much as she hated helping the Poiloogs at all, she had to admit that there would certainly be worse fates than having to spend months or even years here with the person she loved.
While they were still waiting to hear back about Joe — and still in contact with Lena every night — the apple harvest finally came to an end and they were moved to the potato fields. In a way, the change of pace was welcome. Being bent over all day digging in the dirt may not have sounded as picturesque as working in an orchard, but in reality the work was no worse. Not that it was really any better either. Just different.
The soil was starting to get a touch of frost to it, the cold seeping into Madeline’s fingers. But there was something comforting about the earthy, musky smell. And though its touch bit slightly, it was wonderful feeling the earth beneath her fingertips, as if at one with nature.
It was easier to learn this new role than it had been the first one too, and soon she was able to sink into a rhythm, breath condensing in the air in front of her as she moved up and down the rows. She was still exhausted when she got back to the dormitory each night, but in a way, it was a good kind of exhaustion. A hard day’s work followed by a hearty warm meal and a nice warm bed was a satisfying enough existence. And now that she’d adjusted to the routine, she found that she had a little more energy left over when her free day came around, able to fully enjoy the time she spent with Billie.
Of course, it helped that there now seemed to be some light at the end of the tunnel. Marcus was enquiring about Billie’s brother for them. They were in contact with Lena and their allies outside. Billie and her were alive and together. Everything was back on track.
That was, until Marcus returned to their bunk one evening, three weeks after his initial visit.
“Madeline. Billie.” He nodded at each of them in turn.
Both of them pushed themselves up from their lounging position, sitting straight.
“Hello,” Madeline said with a smile. “Any news?”
He glanced between her and Billie, the ever-present smile conspicuously absent from his face. “I’m afraid not. We couldn’t find any record of a Joe Michaels in our system.”
Billie shifted beside her, opening their mouth to speak.
The guard raised a hand to forestall her questions. “I also made sure to check anyone who might match the description you gave me, in case he gave a fake name. I have some pictures for you to look at, just in case.”
He held out a screen, swiping across to reveal the next face every time Billie shook their head. Madeline watched their expression grow more and more strained with every one until eventually, there were no more photos left.
Marcus gave them a sympathetic smile as he took the screen back. “I’m sorry. Unless he looks drastically different to the man you described, he isn’t in our systems. That means he’s either still out in the world or…” He winced slightly. “But, seeing as I couldn’t find your brother for you, that means you are free to ask after someone else if you’d like.”
Billie nodded. Downcast eyes glazed over slightly. “Errr… Yeah… Sure… There’s this kid called Liam. Madeline can tell you more.”
Madeline longed to reach out and embrace them. To comfort them. But there would be time for that later.
She laid a hand gently on theirs before turning to the guard. “His name is Liam Davies. He’s around twelve or thirteen I think. He’s around this tall.” She gestured with her hand. “He has mousy hair which is kind of curly and pale, and he has freckled skin.” She paused. Surely she knew him better than this. There must be some distinctive feature…
“That’s great,” Marcus said, cutting off her thought. “And the way you’re doing with work, I’ll likely be back for you again soon if there’s anyone else you’d like to find or any other perks we can arrange.”
Madeline smiled. At least with both of them working well, they’d be able to start to make a dent in the group’s list.
Before Marcus left, he turned to Billie. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t find Joe for you.”
They nodded wordlessly.
As the guard walked away, Madeline snaked an arm around her love’s shoulders. They trembled beneath her.
“I should have known that he’d never let them take him alive.” Their voice cracked, eyes swimming.
Madeline drew them into her chest and held them tight as they let the tears flow.
Author's Note: Next chapter due on 28th April

I apologize in advance for

1. posting 4 things in a row in a day
2. having bad writing skills and predictions

Also warn BFDI series' unpredictability, which can make any predictions wrong.

TPOT 11

This scenarios confirms that Bell and Bomby is eliminated. After Cake at Stake, current contestants are like this.
TPOT 11 CaS: Bell and Bomby is out

TPOT 11 - 13

Death PACT Again, Are You Okay, Team8s and The S! loses one time each, also one member from each team is eliminated. I let TSTOE and JN be safe in both episodes because they already lost in last episode. Here are the contestants I excluded from merge and reasons.
Again, DO NOT BLINDLY TRUST MY 'OPINION', SINCE BFDI SERIES ITSELF IS VERY UNPREDICTABLE. WHO IS IN DANGER CAN BE VARY DEPEND TO SCREENTIME AND WRITING. I'm not expecting anyone to trust my prediction but, I'm warning just in case.

• DPA: Black Hole or Marker: I thought Fanny became most popular DPAer because of Fanny's resistance arc against PACT, and Tree still has strong fanbase (especially at... ya know). I wasn't sure who is gonna be next then. I saved Marker just because I liked him more(...) and for being moderator of DPA arc. There's no difference in this scenario if BH survived instead of Marker, so read however you want.
• AYO: TV: Relatively TV has less fanbase than other 4 teammates. Also there are still the people who wants Eraser-Pen and GB-TB friendship to last longer.
• T8S: Barf Bag: Even though she got some roles at TPOT 8, she couldn't escape the voting war, which shows that position of Barfy was still in danger even at then. I'm also not sure about my decision at T8S, since Barfy wasn't the only threatened by voting war, and Barf Bag is continuously getting her roles in Team8s, like in TPOT 9 and 10.
• TS!: Bottle: Winner and Yellow Face are popular enough (Whoever being eliminated would be YF if it was VTE though. Actually it will change whole TPOT history bur anyways), and Ice Cube has an arc which she still have to work on with Book etc.

TPOT 12-13 CaS: Every team but TSTOE and JN lost a member.

TPOT 13, after Cake at Stake

Now only 21 contestants left, which is more than two times less than start (43). Considering number of contestants of Season 1 and 2 was around twenty, however, it's still too many to start individual competition system. Yet still the numbers of members of each teams were so low(three or four, as you see), so two decided to reorganize three teams with seven members.(3*7=21)
Press F to pay respects for first teams, and those eliminated contestants that I forgot to hide.
Two officially dissolves all teams and let everyone form teams containing 7 members, just like in TPOT 1.

Small groups bound with friendships and companionships

Setting teams randomly is nonsense and we have to keep 'best friends' and 'companions' together. In BFB pre-split and TPOT, a number of small groups like GB-TB-BB(Basketball)-8B, Pencil-Match-Bubble-Ruby, Book-Ice Cube and Saw-Lollipop-Taco were first formed, and merged together later and formed 8-member teams. So I'll do same.
https://preview.redd.it/ko7m1j5hqkvc1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=f558d0e329e6f4409f80988e81a40251f9816373

• Through lots of cooperate of three, Basketball, Snowball, and Grassy decide to remain together in new team. As a result, almost whole TSTOE stays together but Robot Flower, who didn't solve S1 Flower personality issue yet and refused staying with Basketball, left.
• As Fanny and rest of DPACTers reconciled after TPOT 10, whole DPA members remains together. (this is kinda late to announce but Tree managed to return into original form after TPOT 10) They promised to focus on both death-preventing and winning challenges.
• Pen-Eraser and Golf Ball-Tennis Ball unites because yes.
• Pin, even though she never feels nostalgic of BFDIA, said that she wants to stay with old WOAH Bunch members (Donut, Needle), saying that what she disliked was BFDIA era itself, and not the companionship and memories between fellows.
• Ice Cube asked for joining with Gaty. Saying that she is tired of everyone she had trouble with, like Book (TacoBook) and The S! (They didn't feel guilty anout killing her, and even had stole her only limbs.) and Gaty is almost the only one to trust, Ice Cube pairs with Gaty. Remaining The S! teammates (Winner and Yellow Face),feel sorry for her.
• Book and Price Tag became the best friends that share and comfort pain of losing friends. They might stay together when the team reconstruction. However, The rejected Pillow to join because she was violent at both(TPOT 2, TPOT 5, TPOT 9...). Pillow indifferently accepts rejection.

Forming actual teams in earnest

https://preview.redd.it/4xazg6hqtkvc1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=d8bf4cd509454b4e02ecac488fb7c287ee857863

• For Pillow Robot Flower was the only she can pair with. Pillow convinced Robot Flower to unite, with saying that Robot Flower can commit more 'fun' with her. It wasn't that easy but succeeded.
• Tennis Ball asked Golf Ball who she will let to join them. Golf Ball selects Winner and Yellow Face as a response, thinking that Winner's strength and gadgets of Yellow Face can be helpful for challenges. Winner and Yellow Face don't mind teaming with them.
• Gaty came back to old Team8s(or old WOAH Bunch?), introducing that Icy wanted to join us. After seeing Ice Cube with no limbs, Pin again apologizes to Ice Cube for being mean at the past. Ice Cube admits her apology, saying her revenge was enough with removing her face at BFDIA 11.

https://preview.redd.it/e526ucwavkvc1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=e11451404a99610b5753fb5ce0ba13381a78f857

• Former DPA members seek for new member to join them, with concerning Pillow's act.
• Eraser found that Pillow orients fun, and thought that was good, so joined them with Pen. So as Golf Ball, who thought that violence of Pillow and Robot Flower can make her team stronger. However, Winner felt disappointed at Golf Ball using violence, so they left the group.
• Snowball is mad at Golf Ball gathering 'mean objects' for their goods. Basketball, who almost forgave making Robot Flower join her again, suggests Snowball to join New Death PACT to keep their action in check more efficiently. Snowball hesitated to start 'preventing death' for a while, but he accepted Basketball's suggestion and joined new PACT. Winner also joins them. Golf Ball is mad at Winner for betraying her and join her rival. (Basketball, Snowball)
• While new PACT and Golf Ball's team conflicting, Book and Taggy realized that they aren't picked yet, which means they have to join remaining group, and became worried of that. After they went to Donut, Gaty, Icy, Needle, and Pin, Book explained that they are last group which didn't complete a team yet. Gaty told Book that she have watched for her, and it was satisfying that she is being really good at her new friends. Gaty then allows Book to be team with her again. Ice Cube strongly opposes since she still disliked Book. Gaty calms down and convinces Icy, reminding that they don't have other choices.

Team names (Warning! My skill of naming teams sucks.)

https://preview.redd.it/dgvs1v4pykvc1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=be07b01a03b3b78004189839403c50d963f80a5e
Here is my output, but what their team name thingy should be?

• For new PACT, 'Death PACT again again' was recommended, but Snowball rejected it for being dumb. He recommended 'Death PACT - the Strongest!', which is way better and can represent two old teams(TSTOE, DPA). This was accepted without opposition. Golf Ball laughs at them, saying that mixing the names of two teams is dumb.
• For Golf Ball's team, Golf Ball really wanted decent name for her team, while the others are indifferent of her thoughts. 5 of her new teammates were just seeking for fun they will commit, and ended up to set team name 'FUN'. Golf Ball forgave complaining about it.
• For remaining team, they borrowed the idea of mixing team names of DP-TS!. By Needle mixing 'WOAH Bunch', 'BLEH' and 'Just Not' was suggested. However Pin and Ice Cube didn't like that, since Pin didn't like the BFDIA era and Ice Cube the BFB era. While everyone is arguing about it, Book, who thought that she didn't deserve to name her team and sitting there, but also didn't want their new friends fighting, requested for asking Taggy to name the team, as they are the one who didn't underwent old BFDI and be neutral of it. Taggy recommends 'Priceless', emphasizing that the friendship between the teammates are priceless. This was accepted.

https://preview.redd.it/vzk5yhkw1lvc1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=b86efb2a92936702cb97348205924ff410f3891e
Okay I have no idea why I spent more than 30 minutes writing this, but this was my outcome. Uhh... I might regret this. Thank you for reading

In honor of PCMR's final weekend of the 23/24 season, I'm posting my way-too-long notes. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise...er, rather, a big family ski trip. I wanted to write down our experiences and opinions in case they benefit or interest anyone else. We visited late season and peak season is likely different in many ways. Our skiing party consisted of two beginner-intermediate elementary school kids, two intermediate-advanced adults, and two "expert" adults. I put "expert" in quotes because that's a loaded word. I can ski a lot of difficult terrain but don't claim to be a true expert. I reference FatMap for pitch in some cases, but also draw on my own experience. Also please understand when I say this or that blue is steep, I'm talking on behalf of my kids - it's not that I have trouble with it. If you've ever had beginners to look out for in your party, and you are responsible for choosing which trails to ski, you'll understand. It really sucks when some people in the party accidentally get in over their head, especially if they're children.
Despite having little ones to watch after, we made a concerted effort to visit every part of the resort. I took notes at the end of each day as to exactly where we had skied, and in total we rode 24 different lifts and skied 113 different trails.
​
~~Daily snowfall before and during the trip~~
3/23/24: 6"
3/24/24: 7"
3/25/24: 4"
3/26/24: 11"
3/27/24: 1" - 31" in the days before we arrived
3/28/24: 9"
3/29/24: 6"
3/30/24: 7" - it was then that we decided the kids needed fatter skis for the rest of the trip
3/31/24: 4" - 26" while we were there
4/1/24: 0"
4/2/24: 0" - 57" total before/during our trip
​
~~Travel, Lodging and (most) Food~~
We flew into SLC and rented two 4x4 Ram 1500 from Rugged Rentals. Really nice people, easy to deal with, feels like you're working with a small company vs. a corporate behemoth. Having a 4x4 was good peace of mind, AND the trucks cost $100 less each than the minivans we were going to rent from Enterprise.
We stayed in a short term rental in Bear Hollow. A 3-level townhouse with garage - not that the garage mattered as the trucks weren't even close to fitting lengthwise inside. We barely squeezed them both in the driveway as street parking is never allowed in that development. The property itself was lovely. We cooked and ate at home for breakfast and dinner, so I'm afraid I can't give any advice on restaurants or anything about Park City proper. We only went there once to go to Jackson's Base Camp - off mountain location.
​
~~Parking~~
We made carpool reservations ahead of time for all days to park in the First Time lot at PC base. That worked out great; because it was late season, we were able to park pretty close to the lifts assuming we got into the lot before 9am. If we arrived before the lifts started, we'd get in the line for First Time; if we were dragging and arrived after 9am, the ski school starts up in force and clogs the lift line for First Time (rightfully so). In that case, hike over to Eagle or up to 3 Kings to avoid the wait at First Time.
We parked at Canyon base for two of the days. Both days we parked in the Cabriolet lot, which worked out well also. A short hike to the lift and it dumps you right across from the Red Pine Gondola. Much better IMO than parking in one of the paid lots which is in the middle - not near Cabriolet and not near the lifts either. A real hike to get anywhere, which seems like a bad deal.
​
~~Mountain Lodges and Food~~
Generally speaking, when on the mountain we don't like to spend much money (or time) on food. On two days, we met up with the non-skier in our party for lunch basically in the First Time parking lot. This was also our touchpoint to hand over the kids who were done for the day - otherwise, it would have been a waste of time to go all the way down to the base. Other days, we bought some food on the mountain and/or took breaks in the lodges for snacks. In all the lodges, they had good size water cups and a water bottle/cup filler (much better than a water fountain) available for use. We never had to wait much to fill a bunch of water cups for the whole party, and it was nice cold water. As for cost, expect to pay out the nose for just about everything, but there were a few things that came up cheaper than I would have expected.
Miner's Camp: Very cool lodge, convenient location. You get in extra workout by moving a few chairs around (they are HEAVY). We had pocket snacks here and didn't buy food. Bathrooms on the main level (yay!)
Legacy Lodge: Oddly, they were nearly completely shut down in the food court and literally ran out of all entree food by about 1:40pm. My dad and I shared the dregs of the pork BBQ, which was all they had left. IIRC the bathrooms are on the main level here as well.
Red Pine Lodge: Food was OK with plenty to choose from even late in the day around 2pm. Bathrooms on the lower level down a full flight of stairs (boo!)
Summit House: Food was pretty good actually, the Philly steak was decent and cost less than Silver Diner back home...was not crowded even at peak lunch time (12PM). Bathrooms on the main level (yay!)
​
~~Lifts and Trails~~
There's more material here than I can write, so I'm going to call out some things that are notable, unique and/or different than we expected. Though I'll probably go into more detail on the (legit) steeper stuff as that's what really gets me going, I love it.
​
Adventure Trails: the "A" on the trail map and the cool little monsters (which I originally thought were just decoration) you see around the mountain denote the "Adventure Trails" which for the most part are super fun (there are a few duds...looking at you, Short Fuse and Alloy Alley). These are great to lap with kids as everyone has a lot of fun without it being too steep for beginner-intermediates to handle. It also gives kids a taste of tree skiing even if they aren't ready for "real" tree runs.
​
Main PC base area (Town, Payday, Crescent, Eagle area): We avoided this area as much as possible and never made laps here. The snow down at lower elevations was firm and/or sno-cone like, and the main slopes were crowded. That said, we never had to wait more than a few minutes for any lift except for First Time (that was a mistake...). When descending for the day, avoid Homerun as much as possible. If you're coming into the area from around the top of Crescent Lift, you have a number of enjoyable single blacks to choose from. If you get into this area from the general direction of Bonanza, stay hard skier's right and go on Drift, then Blanche/Heckler, Payday or King's Crown. Take Widowmaker or Nail Driver if you wish, but then you're back on Homerun for longer. We took Gotcha Cut Off one day to avoid Homerun, except it was quite possibly worse than Homerun. Endless narrow switchbacks, it sucked pretty hard. The kids were out of gas, otherwise we would have taken Ladies' SL.
​
King Con area: We skied this area on the first day after warming up our kids. We thought we'd spend a lot of time here, but only lapped this three times over the entire 6 days. Wow, I did not expect these trails to be quite so steep, nor that a majority of them would be ungroomed. This area has a reputation for being a great place to lap a bunch of chill blues, but they range from 22-26* and at least half of them had bumps. Fun for the adults in the party, but our kids weren't having it. To me, a "chill" blue would be something around 18-20 degrees and groomed flat. The terrain, combined with the fact that every run had a long boring runout on Broadway followed by the chokepoint Hotspot, made this area not nearly as fun to lap as we had thought on paper.
​
Bonanza area: We only took this lift to get somewhere else. The only trail in this area that we sought out to ski was the adventure trail Blaster, which seems to have two parts. First part through some loose aspens, and it dumps you out and you hook a right on Mucker's, and there's a second part which is a banked cat track through the trees. Lots of fun.
​
Silverlode area: Adventure trail Detonator (off Mel's Alley) was our kids' favorite trail of the entire trip, and it's a lot of fun for adults as well. Adventure trail Short Fuse is a very short banked cat track (I suppose it's in the name) and not worth seeking out. Mel's Alley is an actually chill blue groomer (glares in the general direction of King Con). Lost Prospector had some fun bumps for us adults under the lift line. Prospector (which starts about halfway down) is an easy black that our kids were very excited to do as their first black diamond. It does have a steep section (~30*) but it's fairly short and was groomed. The rest of the run is a fairly nondescript runout to the lift. Take Parley's Park to TNT, another adventure trail, this one quite long and lots of fun. Note it does take you down to Thaynes Canyon and the King Con lift.
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Motherlode area: We didn't ski this area very much, I think the only trail we took that isn't shared with Silverlode was Single Jack, which some of us took on the last day to get down to Thaynes. Why? We didn't really ski a lot of single blacks - we either skied blues with the kids, or went for the doubles if the kids went in early for the day.
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Thaynes area: It's a trip to ride an old 2 seater fixed grip lift. It's also slow, so we only took this once to get up to Jupiter Access. My uncle and I took Double Jack down to the lift from the Summit House area, which we found to be surprisingly steep (30-35*) for a single black. It was groomed when we skied it, but I understand it's sometimes left to bump up. I'd say this trail is for advanced skiers only, not one you'd want to do as a intermediate stepping up to black diamonds. Jupiter Access itself is a flat groomer through the woods, very peaceful and not challenging at all. I understand you can drop off the right side to ski laterally through the trees across Keystone and The Hoist. At various points the drop-in was very steep. It looked fun, but that was not my objective that day, I was getting to Jupiter ASAP.
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Pioneer area: We never got to ski this area. We could have on our last day (4/2), but PC closed the lift starting 4/1 :(
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McConkey's area: The views are as nice as they say. Georgeanna is a very easy blue that nobody should have trouble with unless they ski clear off the side of the trail - it's bordered by McConkey's bowl, Molly's woods and a steep ski area boundary (I won't lie, I was watching my younger kid like a hawk). Down lower, leave Georgeanna to ski Powder Monkey off to the right, a lengthy and fun adventure trail through the woods that leads you back to the right side of the lift. We lapped that three times with the kids before they got tired of it. I skied McConkey's bowl a few times and it's an enjoyable double that's not too steep and the steep section is not very long. Depending on where you drop in, it seems the pitch can differ a bit so you can make it easier or harder. Under the lift line gets steeper for a short section than any of the rest of the bowl, which was fun. This, 94 Turns or Jupiter Main Bowl would be a good first double for someone looking to up their game to double blacks. Unfortunately, my uncle was not with me the only opportunities I had to ski this area, so I did not ski Molly's or Black Forest. I refuse to ski trees alone - I have a family to get back to at the end of the day, not when they find me come spring time. That said there was a really tasty looking steep chute kind of in the "corner" of Molly's where Georgeanna takes a left turn. I would have loved to ski that. I did hike up to O-Zone and skied the open area beyond the trees. That was a lot of fun and was steep but not too steep - probably close to 40*, then more like 30-35* down a bit lower. If you're lapping this lift until the end of the day, note to get back to the PC base area, you have to reach Flat Iron which is the higher traverse you can see from the base of the lift. It's not a big deal to pole over there, or you can carry speed coming down from Georgeanna. Beware of Jerrys blasting down through this small chokepoint, usually from the Bonanza trails.
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Jupiter area: Also has beautiful views, you just have to take a slow double chair to get them. I took my first ride up here about 10am and the area was nearly empty. I was alone once again, so I was wary of skiing in an empty steeps area by myself. I skied the Main Bowl to warm up, which was similar in pitch and length to McConkey's Bowl. The next run I traversed all the way over to War Zone - again wanting an open run, rather than trees (I regret not having opportunity to ski some of the trees I passed along the way). The snow on this face was fantastic. The powder was starting to get heavy in other areas more hit by the sun, but the entire West Face area is in shadow for longer and it was nice and fresh. The next run I intended to hike to the top of War Zone to get more of that nice snow, but I realized I could "just turn the corner" and be in the Jupiter Peak/Chutes area. I hadn't noticed the high road leading to the true peak and was a bit surprised to find myself where I was - off to skier's left of the main chutes and partway down from the top. Duh - with part of the mountain to my right I should have realized I wasn't actually at the top. I did not traverse down Pioneer Ridge into Puma Bowl, but went to the right and skied next to the skier's leftmost rock/cliff area of the Jupiter East face. It was a bit steeper than anything else I skied that week except for a short section of Magic Line (which I'll explain later). I estimate this East Face area was 40-45* for the top section but flattened out after a bit to a tamer ~35*. I wish I'd hiked all the way to the top, but I figured hiking once was enough. It was also very warm (47*F) with full sun that day, and the snow was rapidly softening and getting heavier on the East Face as it had been in the sun for longer. After I got down the face I figured it would be close to an hour before I'd be at the top again ready to ski down, and I didn't like the idea of going from the top with heavy snow.
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Quicksilver gondola: We took this twice to get to the Dreamscape area and back on two different days. Nice views, not too long of a ride. Get off at midstation when riding over to Canyons, because IMO there's no point to sit on the gondola when you can ski. We avoided The Highway, having been warned online that it was very flat and required skating/poling. The kids aren't good at that, yet, and they waste a lot of time and energy traversing. On Snowonder, take the little bump out to skier's left near the bottom, it's a fun cat track through the woods instead of a steep-ish section that looked crowded and was probably scraped off.
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Dreamcatcher area: Chimera (under the lift) looks to be a challenging single black. Usually, a narrow moguled liftline with that kind of pitch (~30*) gets upgraded to a double. I was with the kids, though, so I never got to ski any of the blacks here. Seems like they would be great fun for the advanced/expert skier.
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Dreamscape area: Ah, Dreamscape. On paper this seemed like it might be a chill blue glades area, but it's damn steep as far as blue terrain goes, and was also completely ungroomed (except for Panorama). We skied McDonald's Meadow (26*), Deja Vu (23*, which is not so bad) and Snow Meadow (30*, holy moly). The kids handled everything like champs but especially on Snow Meadow, the trail lived up to the name and there was 9-12" loose powder over much of the run. This area seems to hold powder really well. The kids were sinking in too much on their narrow east coast ice carvers - losing control, getting hung up and falling over (at least it was soft!). That led us to rent fatter, longer skis for them for the rest of the trip. The adults already had brought mid-fat skis and for us, Snow Meadow and the other runs were wonderful. In summary, this is a great area for the experienced intermediate comfortable with moguls. The exception is Panorama which is a nice groomed cruiser, and is also the runout for all the rest of the runs to take you back to the lift.
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Iron Mountain area: We skipped this one entirely, only riding the lift once to get back to Quicksilver. These blues are long (the lift gains almost 1,500ft), fairly steep, and absolutely everything we could see from the lift was bumped up. Not great for the kids. I never came back here sans kids, because whenever I had the chance to go solo, I was after the high mountain steeps I can't get back home.
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Daybreak area: We never rode this lift. It didn't seem worth it? Maybe some of these runs are nice, but if they are similar to the runs through the Colony, we didn't care for them.
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Peak 5 area: We never rode this one either. I regret not having the opportunity to ski The Abyss.
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9990 area: My uncle was with me for a few laps in this area. We warmed up on 94 Turns, which is fairly easy and wide for a double black. Next run down we took a "long lap" on Red Pine Chutes, avoiding the (small) cliffs area towards the bottom and going around on skier's right. Red Pine Chutes is a great run with a consistently steep pitch, probably 5-10* steeper than 94 Turns, and the steep section is much longer. The snow is also much less tracked out over on this face, and it faces north which probably helps it hold snow better than other Canyons south/east facing runs. Note all three runs on this side of 9990 require you to ski all the way down to Tombstone, back up and down Silver Spur to get back to the 9990 lift - hence the name "long laps". All is not lost, however; to have some fun on the way, take Pinball Alley which is off to the right once you rejoin Red Pine Road. It's a natural halfpipe, I'm not really sure why it's a black, as it feels similar to several other of the blue Adventure Trails scattered around the mountain. My kids could have handled this with ease but I never got them over here to try it. My uncle wanted a rest so I went up again alone, this time I skied Fright Gully as I was meeting him back at the lift. This run goes through some short steeps and flats before settling in to a pretty steep drop through some trees. It's adjacent to the lift line if you care to wander over there and tackle the short but extremely steep section in the middle of the rise (you'll see it from the lift). On the last lap we took Magic Line. It's kind of flat towards the top, it drops off partway down to a nice sustained pitch. Down towards the bottom, there was a VERY steep section through some trees - I noticed afterwards on the video it's simply labeled '5' carved into a tree trunk. I don't know if it was due to blown snow accumulating or what, but I stood up straight and was able to punch a hole several inches deep into the uphill snow. This area was absolutely >50*. It was fun to ski because it was fairly short and near the bottom - I would not have wanted to take on something like this at the top of a long open slope. I nailed my turns and have a fun memory because it's by far the steepest pitch I've ever skied.
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Tombstone area: We dabbled with a few of the Colony blues in this area, but found them not to our liking. They felt very narrow cat-track-ish and had very firm crappy snow at a time when the rest of the mountain had really nice powder or packed powder. Again with the "we didn't do any of the single blacks" because it was either time to ski with the kids (blues) or time to ski without (mostly the high mountain doubles). Chicane is an unenjoyable people mover so kind of count that out if you're looking for blues to lap from this lift. I wish I could have skied Grande or Deschutes but did not have the opportunity.
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High Meadow area: Kinda part of the Saddleback area, but I wanted to call a few things out specifically. OK, it's a bunny slope - nothing special about that. Hidden Bear is a green adventure trail that can give beginners a feeling of tree skiing and that's pretty awesome. Just be careful as it can get crowded in there. Alley Cat is on the other side of the bunny slope and is forgettable - maybe you get a few turns between loose trees, but it's not the same. **It's got the Red Pine Lodge right there very close at the base of the lift** Contrast this area with the First Time lift on PC base - they put some crappy trailer bathrooms at the base of First Time because ~good luck~ having a kid hike uphill several hundred yards to the Legacy Lodge from the First Time lift. Even with bathrooms, there's still no place for a kid to go inside to warm up or grab some hot chocolate/snack/rest or something. If you have a brand new skier at PC, first off you're wasting your money, but second off go to High Meadow area vs. PC base.
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Saddleback area: Our family had so much fun lapping this lift! It's got the right amount of vertical for newer skiers and children who are less efficient and tire more easily, and it's got a load of great intermediate terrain to go with it. All the blue cruisers are great - none of them are very steep and all were groomed when we went. Flying Salmon is a blue Adventure Trail off skier's left of Snow Dancer (yes, that cutoff that looks like an access road and it's slightly uphill). The run starts as a cat track through the woods and then the good part is through some loose trees in a gully type area. It's fun but it's a bit short. Hurricane Alley isn't marked as an adventure trail but it might as well be - it's got exactly the same feel. Get to it from skier's left off Kokopelli. Tunnel of Fun is yet another aptly named gully with loosely spaced trees to skier's right off Kokopelli/Pine Draw. Seriously, these runs are lots of fun even for expert skiers because you can just get in there and play. Wait - gasp - we actually did some blacks here! We took Silver Horse with the kids which was a mistake; it's got some pretty steep sections that were bumped up and it was too much for them. They made it down, but it took forever and copious amounts of snacks were provided afterwards to make up for it. My uncle and I skied The Aspens, The Pines, Ecstasy and Gallery. I'm not sure what it was but I found skiing The Aspens to be exhausting. Maybe something with the spacing of the trees, idk? The Pines and neighboring runs had some sections that were quite steep (~30*) for a single black tree run, but they were a lot of fun and somehow less tiring. Seriously, I'm not sure why wide-open 94 Turns is a double when these runs and Tree Time on Sun Peak are just as steep and they are gladed runs. I guess having a lift serving only doubles is just sexier.
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Sun Peak area: Stunning views here from the top of the blue cruisers (Echo and Eclipse). Echo is more chill while Eclipse gets pretty steep (27*), however it was groomed so no trouble for the kids. Mine Shaft is a chill single black and good for intermediates looking to up their game. Massacre is significantly more challenging, has bigger moguls with sustained steep pitch of up to 32* and I was feeling the burn by the end. Tree Time is a fantastic run - some parts of this are shockingly steep for a single black (up to 35*)! The trees are also very tight in some places, so bring your A game, have confidence in your turns and you'll have a lot of fun.
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Super Condor area: Surprisingly, this area was a bit of a disappointment for reasons specific to our situation, though I'm glad we got to lap it at least once. By the time we made it over here it was late afternoon on a warmer day (high 30s?) and the snow, while still fairly loose and deep, was also very heavy and grabby. Especially on a straight up south facing slope like the Super Condor doubles. Undeterred, I headed over to A Chute as I'd read it's the steepest on the mountain - hey, if I'm only getting one lap, at least I get my money's worth, right? Despite the sign off the lift pointing me in the general direction of A Chute, there were no tracks leading there, I was alone, it was 3:30PM, and I'd never been there before. I started towards what I thought was the run and couldn't see the slope even as I got closer to the edge...I started to get nervous with the heavy snow, which made me not very confident in making my turns. I also wondered if there were cliffs in the area I didn't know about, as it looked like there were some on Sticks and Stones. I bailed out and skied Lone Pine, which was fine. The snow was not at all enjoyable but I'm glad to have skied the area and tried it out. As for the rest of the area, there wasn't much to choose from for the kids - Apex Ridge seems way too intense for early intermediates - very long (all these runs are ~1,800 vertical feet!) and very steep (28*) in parts. EZ Street is a crappy cat track switchbacking down the mountain, that's really not fun. With narrow little tracks bordering steeps I always worry about my littlest kid hooking an edge and going over the side. The rest of the group took Boa, which I heard was fine, but I doubt they would have wanted to take several runs down it if we were able to ski the area for a while. I would have liked to ski Condor Woods and Canis Lupis but again, I was alone at this time (in terms of expert skiers to go with me). We called it a day and headed down to Rip Cord, which always seems entertaining. This time it was some adults (not us!!) who fell over in the middle while our kids easily stayed upright.
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Canyons base area (Red Pine Gondola and Orange Bubble): We did not ski here at all except one time after taking Over and Out - we went down Raptor Way. The snow was terrible, as it usually is towards the base in the spring. It reinforced why we've been avoiding the base areas the entire trip. I'm sure some of these are fun in the peak winter season.
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There you have it. Congratulations if you're still reading! Feel free to ask me any questions and I'll answer them if I can.

For when you need to beef up the loot without actually Making the players stronger.
Edit: Sorry I took so long to edit. (u/chidarengan)
1- Day Armor: allows the user to ignore the effects of sunlight sensitivity and any other negative effect of the sun light besides the ones we are all exposed to. (u/chidarengan)
2 - Compass of Direction: Put the compass over a maritime map and say your destination while poiting to it with your finger, the compass will point there. (u/chidarengan)
3 - Needle of Stiching: makes the work of tailors twice as fast. (u/chidarengan)
4 - Blessing of the werewolf: this item turns any silver in a 20ft radius into Copper, only during full moons. (u/chidarengan)
5 - Basilisk Gaze Guard: This item protects the Basilisk from seeing reflections, protecting it from its own gaze (throw this one in a room full of mirrors, no one Will be able to avert their eyes) (u/chidarengan)
6 - A pillow that makes you feel rested in the morning and wards off nightmares (gives advantage on saves against dream) (u/thomar)
7 - A framed sheet of paper that shows the viewer all of their unpaid monetary debts and who they're currently owed to. Sorted from most expensive to least, only shows the top 10, and shows any payment plans and when installments are due. (u/thomar)
8 - A headband that lets you calculate arbitrarily large sums in your head without error. (u/thomar)
9 - Zelfii Khahm-Ras' Instant Portrait: A blank canvas in a mahogany frame set with a single diamond. Using the command word, the canvas makes a highly accurate oil painting of whatever is directly in view of the diamond. (u/Reasonable-Lime-615)
10 - Polin's Putty: A 6 ounce bag filled with a brown-grey putty, which replenishes each day at dawn. The putty is pliant, easily worked and with a distinctly sweet smell, despite being inedible, but non-toxic. careful use can line a gap between to secured pieces of wood, stone, metal or other similar material, creating an airtight seal that lasts 12 hours. the bag has enough putty to make a 120ft line that is one inch thick.​ (u/Reasonable-Lime-615)
11 - Potion of Protection from Peanuts: For people with peanut allergies. Note it is preventative (take it before you eat the peanuts) and offers no “rescue” effect if you’ve already been exposed. Duration one hour. (u/sonofabutch)
12 - Balm of the Aged: An ointment that if rubbed on sore muscles produces a mild but soothing heat. (No game effect.) Basically Ben-Gay or Tiger Balm. (u/sonofabutch)
13 - Boots of Comfort - minorly enchanted to make standing in place for long periods of time more bearable. Very popular amongst shopkeeps and stationary guards. (u/Hymneth)
14 - Monacle of Depth Perception - May be worn by any one eyed creature (naturally, or having lost an eye) to give them better depth perception, offsetting any penalties they may normally have. Has no effect on creatures with two or more eyes currently. (u/Hymneth)
15 - Maid's dust - a fine Grey powder in a plain drawstring bag. When sprinkled on a surface and a keyword is spoken, the dust disappears completely, then reappears 3 days later. Used to promote repeat business for hired cleaners (u/Hymneth)
16 - Everburning hearth - any fire lit in this hearth will burn forever without additional fuel unless extinguished intentionally (the initial kindling and logs used to light the fire are still necessary). The hearth has 3 command words that can cause the fire to reduce to smoldering ashes, return to a normal blaze, or extinguish entirely. (u/Hymneth)
17 - Glasses of colorblind correction. (u/smiles__)
18 - Cloak of protection against frogs (or) Croak of Protection (u/smiles__) & (u/Shufflebuzz) respectively
19 - Bow of Return - a bow that returns your arrow if it misses the intended target (not if it hits and you don’t get to shoot again the same round) (u/so_not_goth)
20 - Charming Pen - plus two on any persuasion checks that are made in writing (u/so_not_goth)
21 - A cure for cancer. Do any of you stooges have cancer? I didn’t think so. (u/I_m_different)
22 - Plant-matter-to-distilled-liquid transmutation device for alchemists and poisoners. Does not come with a big clove of garlic, so no help with vampires. Perhaps you could empty a load of nuts into it and hope for some allergies?(u/I_m_different)
23 - Enchanted Crown of Thorns. Good for one free resurrection, but only in the event of death by cruxifixction while you’re wearing it.(u/I_m_different)
24 - Auto-repairing sail: a set of sails for a mid-sized ship that repairs itself over the course of one hour, including from small burns. Will not repair itself if fully reduced to ash. (u/AidanBeeJar)
25 - The Ring of Sovereign Command - a ring from a long dead ancient empire that, when activated, can be used to give an irrevocable command to any citizen of that empire. (u/Earth_Salt)
26 - Cork of Condensation - magically creates water at a slow consistent drip, collecting enough over the course of a day to fill a canteen. (u/Earth_Salt)
27 - Trident of the Tempest - Allows you to walk on any ocean water, breathe ocean water, communicate with aquatic ocean beasts, and call forth a storm on the ocean 1d4+2 times per week. Has no power over rivers, streams, ponds, lakes, or other non-ocean waters. (u/Earth_Salt)
28 - Handcuffs of the High Born - These ornate and delicately designed handcuffs have no actual clasp or lock. They are purely symbolic and are used when taking in a high born of the city so they face as little physical discomfort as possible. These appear to have someone's monogram etched into the inside. (u/Earth_Salt)
29 - Slippers of Absolute Stealth - (attunement) Activating these slippers with the command word grants the wearer the effect of the spell Greater Invisiblity with a duration of 24hrs, +20 on stealth checks, +10 on acrobatics checks, and the ability to cast Misty Step or Silence once per day. (You do not know the command word) (u/Earth_Salt)
30 - A Lucky Die - Whenever your character rolls a d6 (in game) the player may roll 2d6 and decide which result they would like to keep. (u/Earth_Salt)
31 - The Belt of Inner Fire - When this belt is buckled it raises the body temperature of the creature in it to 98.6°F. (u/Earth_Salt)
32 - The Last Great Miracle - (Requires attunement by a Cleric of at least 15th level) This staff allows it's user to succeed on a Divine Intervention check. Once the results of that check have resolved, the God of the cleric dies and all beings that draw power from them (clerics, paladins, minions, etc) lose all abilities and levels associated with that God. (u/Earth_Salt)
33 - A wand of Detect Fire. You point it at a fire (as a touch spell) and it tells you if it's a fire. (u/zeromig)
34 - A tiny automaton that, when given pen and paper, draws a squiggly line. Every time, it's exactly the same line. (Made to draw a path through a specific maze, but not very concerned with drawing the path only on a map of that maze.) (u/ray10k)
35 - A thick, bulky lockpick that can open any lock by inserting it. Nearly all locks are simply too small to insert into. (u/ray10k)
36 - An earring with a little blue tear-shaped gemstone. When near a chicken, a pleasant voice will tell the wearer "remember to pick up eggs" (u/ray10k)
37 - Glasses of common understanding. It allows the wearer to read and understand the common language. Generally used by foreigners. (u/CheapTactics)
38 - Towel of drying. By simply tapping this towel on a wet surface a couple of times, it'll effectively dry it in almost no time. It can dry you, your clothes, even those important books that you were holding when you fell in that pond. (u/CheapTactics)
39 - Collar of air breathing. It allows a creature that normally can only breathe underwater, breathe normal air. Now you can take your fish for a walk. (u/CheapTactics)
40 - Softening oil. Rubbing this cooking oil on a piece of meat loosens its fibers and makes it softer. This allows chefs and tavern owners to cook even low quality meat cuts that are often too tough. (u/CheapTactics)
41 - Teleporting cups. Used by street con artists, this set of three small cups allows a creature to use an action to teleport an object placed inside one of the cups into another of the set. The cups must be within 5 feet of each other for this ability to function. It can only teleport one object at a time. (u/CheapTactics)
42 - Rock of gravity detection: constantly feels a force directed towards the nearest source(s) generating gravity. Strength of the pull is proportional to both distance from the source and strength of the gravity generated. It sounds like a total gag item (it's just a normal rock. That's just how gravity works) until someone casts gravity affecting magic (reverse gravity, magnify gravity, fly) or the party gets close to a gravity trap in a dungeon and then suddenly this "normal rock" starts falling sideways towards the castetrap trigger (u/1ndiana_Pwns)
43 - Steve's iron shovel - as an action, use this spade to turn one cubic yard of dirt, sand, or gravel into a small pocket-sized bit. 64 of these bits can fit into one pocket. As an action, you can deploy one of these bits back onto a cubic yard of material. It can only be deployed adjacent to some existing surface. (u/Dependent_Occasion65)
44 - Wilhelm's Gourmet Implements: Recite a recipe to these cooking tools and they will scream if you're messing it up. (u/concern-doggo)
45 - Cloak of billowing: always billows dramatically behind its wearer, regardless of the wind (u/Delicious-Tie8097)
46 - Sword of Symphonies: acts like a normal longsword (or a +1 longsword if your party is of a level to have that), but plays epic music as it is swung (Beethoven symphonies, Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, the Fellowship theme from LOTR, etc.) when the wielder desires. Also applause comes from somewhere when the wielder enters the scene. (u/Delicious-Tie8097) & (u/gnurdette)
47 - Wand of cures: hold this next to a cured meat and the tips illuminates. Green if the meat is ready and quality, red if it has spoiled (u/Leif-Colbry)
48 - Spoon of Flavor. Stir a dish while repeating the name of any spice or ingredient, and its taste will develop in the food. (u/gnurdette)
49 - Potion of Wonder. Looks very impressive: bubbles, sparkles, glows. Has no actual effect. (u/gnurdette)
50 - Book of Scheherazade: This tiny tome contains a different short story every time it is opened. (u/gnurdette)
51 - Leash of Hygiene: Any animal wearing it becomes fastidiously housebroken. (u/gnurdette)
52 - Quill of the Scholar: By holding this pen while speaking the desired words aloud, the wielder can write with beautiful penmanship, even if illiterate. (u/gnurdette)
53 - Candle of Regeneration: Burns like an ordinary candle, but as long as any of it is left, it will regenerate itself when left for several hours in contact with any source of animal fat. (u/gnurdette)
54- Bell of the Hours: Faithfully keeps time, ringing out the hours all by itself. (u/gnurdette)
55 - Monocle of Snobbery: When viewing any sentient being, the user gets a clear sense of their family background and social status. (u/gnurdette)
56 - A mop that is always dripping wet, allowing you to mop where ever you need without any bucket. (u/smiles__)
57 - A potent potion called Floratadine that provides the drinker with protection from grass and hay allergies for 24 hours. (u/smiles__)
58 - A mini pan flute that only works for charming small worms. (u/smiles__)

Black Sheep Family
Part 53
Arc 5
School War - Awakening
Don't mistake my tears for weakness. ~ Wendy Williams
(B)(S)(F)
GO!
Cassandra stirred to life in the green house, Cxaltho groaned and whimpered.
“You two feeling alive?” Theo’s voice boomed around her.
Cassandra’s eyes flew open, all of them, and she saw that Theo now encompassed the entirety of the greenhouse. She wasn’t even sure how she knew where she was, but she nodded.
“What happened?” Cassandra asked.
“Mr. Burlin, well he messed with your DNA. Specifically the unknown DNA merged to your human DNA.” Theo said, “And he’s trying to take over the school.”
“I remember the bad guy part.” Cassandra grumbled.
“Stupid chocolates. I’m an idiot.” Cxaltho hissed.
“No, you’re not.” Theo said, “You trusted him. It’s not an easy betrayal to process.” Theo said with a tone of sadness. “I know. But it’s not over.”
Cassandra nodded and slid off the table she had found herself on. “We gotta help.”
“Cassandra. He’s done more than just momentarily messing with you.” Theo said. “He damaged your DNA. I stopped it, but that’s temporary.”
Cassandra tried to locate a face to speak to Theo with. “What do you mean?”
“Cassie, he awoke something in the DNA that didn’t like that it was combined with you.” Theo explained. “That’s what was happening, your own DNA was trying to tear itself away from you.”
Cassandra gasped and Cxaltho blinked.
“That’s bad.” Cxaltho said slowly. “We can’t regen from that.”
“No you can’t.” Theo said, “Thankfully I did identify it. It’s Earth based, and once this is over I’ll give all that information to your parents. No one’s gonna let you suffer or disappear.”
Cassandra nodded and took a deep breath. “Can I help fight?”
“Yes.” Theo said, “But be careful, I don’t know what tricks he has up his sleeves.”
Cassandra nodded and took a moment to breathe and center herself. Then she heard the whispers.
”The ugly thing says mistress is hurt.”
”Ugly thing is protecting us again?”
”We should help.”
Cxaltho hissed and nudged Cassandra.
“He’s not ugly, but we’re trying to help too. Can you help us?” Cassandras asked.
“Who says I’m ugly?” Theo asked.
“The plants.” Cassandra crossed her arms.
“Ah, well they might have a point from their perspective.” Theo chuckled.
“Well, are you gonna lend a hand or be scaredy pods?!” Cxaltho snapped.
The ground under them shifted and a bulb forced itself through the dirt. The bulb was twice the size of a dodgeball. Tendrils and vines pushed through and formed into arms that lifted it out of the dirt as roots and dirt were brought together to make ad hoc legs.
“Protect Mistress.” The bulb spoke.
“Wow.” Cassandra said with an astounded breath.
“It’s like an Audrey Three!” Cxaltho hissed and hid behind Cassandra. “Don’t let it eat me!”
“Have no hunger for tiny spindel creature.” The Bulb said.
“Can we call you Audrey?” Cassandra smiled.
The Bulb seemed to think it over. “Earth Daughter may call us this.”
“Earth Daughter?” Cassandra blinked. “Right, well we have to save Thrush and the school...” She was interrupted by an impact to the greenhouse.
“Anna and her new friend must be fighting off someone new.” Theo said, “They might need help.”
Cassandra turned to the door and let her armor cover her, it was even rougher and more bark like now, but it also looked wilted and damaged. She flinched inwardly, Cxaltho placed his head on her shoulder, his armor covering him as he placed himself to act and strike as needed. Then they moved forward and opened the door.
Cassandra first saw Anna grasping her side, Hong Long was on the ground and weakened. Further out she saw the green flamed head of another student standing over a teacher who was vomiting. She remembered him from Danny’s fight and recalled he could make people sick with radiation.
“Crispin’s on our side.” Anna grunted as she forced herself to stand. “Mr. Storm caught me off guard.”
Cassandra nodded and rushed forward, lancing out a tendril to grab Mr. Storm and flung him into the greenhouse wall. He landed with a thud against the organic covering Theo had provided, and vines and eldritch tendrils both encased the dominated hero.
“Wow.” Crispin looked at Cassandra. He had no visible eyes but for a brief moment the eye sockets of the skull darkened as if to signify a startled blink.
Cassandra waved, “Sorry, I wanted to end it fast. Electricity hurts Anna more than anything.”
Crispin nodded, “No problem. He was down for the fight anyway.” He put his hand behind his head and gave a nervous chuckle. “Dragon-Girl okay?”
“Anna!” Anna shouted. “I don’t use codenames.”
“But they’re cool!” Crispin argued. “Just think about it!”
Cassandra giggled, “I like it.”
Anna glared at her sister, then softened to a smile. “You’re okay?”
Cassandra kicked a divet into the ground. “For now. We owe Mr. Burlin.” She took a breath, “But Theo knows what I’m made from now.”
“And that’s good.” Anna nodded.
“He could only temporarily stop it from...” She paused again. “We need to talk to mama and papa.”
Anna nodded, she didn’t need to feel Cassandra’s fear and anger, it laced her tone. She hugged her sister tightly for a brief moment.
“We’ll figure it out, but first we need to stop Mr. Burlin.” Anna said.
Cassandra nodded. “This is Audrey.” She gestured to the large plant creature. “Ms Thrush was growing it apparently.”
“Wow, that’s a big fuckin’ plant.” Anna looked the plant creature over.
“You said a swear.” Cxaltho chuckled.
Anna looked at the ophidian she had come to see as a younger brother. “You didn’t?”
“I don’t wanna get fuckin’ squashed!” Cxaltho yelped, then went flat against Cassandra’s shoulder.
“Anyway, Hong Long, take them both into Theo!” Hong Long shook like a wet dog and howled, then plucked Mr. Storm and another wrapped up victim in his mouth.
“Who’s the other one?” Cassandra asked.
“Freddie.” Crispin said. “Think he’ll help’em?”
Cassandra nodded, “Theo can at least keep them safe until we can help them.”
Crispin nodded, “Well, let’s knock this asshole outta our school!”
“You’re not half bad when not getting our brother sick.” Anna smirked.
“Oh no! I didn’t mean to, was he okay? Was he mad? I really did lose my temper there.” Crispin seemed to shrink as he made his concern known.
Anna blinked in confusion.
“He was a bit miffed, but not mad.” Cassandra laughed, “I think he might want a re-match now though.”
Crispin looked up and his face remained motionless, but he pumped his arm. “That’s great. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but my power is fire and radiation. It’s really hard.” He opened his jacket to show a metallic armor with radiation warning symbols on it, “Even have this just in case the radiation spreads so others don’t get hurt.”
“That’s pretty noble.” Anna smiled, “But you are right we need to take our school back. We need to find Agatha and Danny too.”
“First, catch your breath.” Cassandra said. “You took a beating.”
“I’ll watch our backs.” Crispin said with a confident pump of his arms.
Cassandra giggled, “Thanks, I can do that too. I see all around me.”
“That’s so cool.” Crispin said, “I’m smiling, but you can’t see it.”
Cassandra snorted and nodded, smiling under her armor.
---B)(S)(F---
Alan and his family walked into the MassXStore headquarters, looking for only a brief moment. Cedric was already in the main lobby, he waved for them to follow. His two large guards stayed at the front of the lobby and blocked anyone else from getting near.
“They’re loyal.” Daniel nodded.
“Machines?” Jazz asked.
“No, good friends and professionals.” Cedric answered, “Though I have sponsored some replacement parts over the years.” He came to the transport and entered his codes. “We should take two trips.”
“I’ll take dad and Jazz through first.” Stephen said, giving a glance to his brother and his sister-in-law. “Show them around while we wait.”
“Stella will be happy to help with that.” Cedric nodded.
Stephen and the others got on first. The doors closed and they were off.
“Really would have been faster if you just told us where it was.” Alan crossed his arms.
“I’m aware, it’s just not fully secure now.” Cedric said, “Besides you left from the VTOL hanger.”
“Didn’t exactly pay attention to the details Cedric.” Alan said, “Bit of an emergency, just like now.”
“Are you sure?” Cedric asked.
Endara glared at the shorter human.
“I don’t mean to offend, but what does he get at this point? He’d have to dominate everyone and I know that’s not possible with all the students and faculty there.”
Endara paused. Alan nodded.
“Is this a distraction?” Endara asked, “Who would he be working for then?”
Cedric nodded, “I’ve been doing some digging since it was announced. A new teacher was hired, supposedly a best selling author, but I can’t actually find his books. Except under an old court ruling against an accusation of plagiarism.”
“Reality bender?” Alan asked. “This really doesn’t make sense.”
“Exactly.” Cedric said. “His real name is Brian Burlin, at least as far as records show, but everything I’ve found tells me he’s a new villain. Not a criminal, villain.”
“There’s a plan we’re walking right into.” Endara gritted her teeth.
“Gravitas.” Alan said.
“You can’t know that.” Endara said, “What proof do you have?”
“Gravitas used mental domination to make people kill themselves and others. He was testing his powers.” Alan growled as he lanced the thoughts to his brother. He received an instant lash of panic back as Stephen realized that Danny would be able to eventually connect the same information.
“Are you okay?” Cedric asked.
Alan nodded, “Stephen realized the same thing that I did. It scared him.”
“Danny.” Endara gasped, “I’ll rip that bastard's spine out if he hurts my baby boy.”
“That’s not the worry.” Alan said, “Danny has the same lines I do. If this guy hurts Aggie, Anna, or God forbid Cassandra, he may try to take him down permanently.”
Endara took a breath and nodded in understanding.
“But he’s a good kid, I’d trust him to keep his temper in check.” Alan said with a confident nod.
He knew Danny was normally a relaxed individual but he had inherited both aspects of his parent’s tempers and it could potentially be disastrous for the young man’s future if he lost all control over it.
Cedric handed Alan and Endara a tablet. “I suspect you want a way in, and something to get the police off the lines.”
“He’s a villain, that’s enough. Powers beyond normal human capabilities.” Endara said, “And if he is Gravitas that gets us massive support from...”
“Move aside.” The voice should have been low and gravely, but it was a roar, filled with rage.
The three turned to see Masie and Mason Lane walled off by Cedric’s guards. Trident was entering the building behind them with Lucretia in tow.
Endara’s focus swung to the vampire instantly.
“Down, darling.” Alan smiled nervously, “She’s not the enemy.”
“For now.” Endara growled.
Cedirc sighed and waved for the guards to let them pass. There was no point in hiding what was public knowledge at this point. “This is gonna strain the transport.”
“Deal with it.” Mason snapped, “Kids are in danger.”
Cedric shot the former vigilante a dark glare, but it was clearly ignored.
“”We have control of the scene.” Trident said as he rushed over. “I’ll be joining you, but Lucretia wanted to give you some information.”
Lucretia Bloodgarden handed Endara a folder. “Burlin, Brian. Supposedly a teacher...”
“We know.” Alan said, “Thinking he’s Gravitas.”
Lucretia nodded, “Likely, very likely. All my contacts say he’s a failed writer who went to Greece to kill himself. He came back as a ‘world renowned’ author, but no one outside of Dross City seems to know this.”
“My own information supports that. Court documents archived in a quantum locked storage show that he had a lawsuit that failed.” Cedric explained, “But the ones on file at the courthouse show he won.”
Alan blinked, “That’s definitely our boy. Has to be.”
“And he’s in there with your kids.” Masie nodded, “We need a way in.”
Cedric nodded again, “Hence why the Quains came here...”
Alan’s phone rang, it was Nelson and he answered it immediately. “Was wondering when you would call.” Nelson’s voice could be heard. “I know, your kid was trained there, don’t count him out. Meet us at the school. Get the crews up.” The response could not be heard and Alan hung up.
“Nelson?” Trident asked.
Alan nodded and his phone range again, he smiled. “I’m popular.”
“I’m in.” Salem said on the other end, “But only because the teacher monitoring this shit show let me. I got bad news Al...”
Alan’s heart fell and he never noticed Salem using the shortened version of his name. “Who?” Was all he asked.
Down the hall Endara noticed three agents in black enter the building. Cobra Bubbles III was trailed by two other agents. She watched as he approached. Then she heard Alan’s phone drop to the ground. She quickly caught her husband who soon followed.
“That’s not a great sign.” Cobra picked up the phone. “Agent Bubbles, Alan Quain is unavailable for the moment.”
“Fuck, hand the phone to the angry Mamma.” Salem sighed.
Bubbles handed Endara the phone. “We’re here for you all. It’s the dangerous one.”
Endara nodded and took the phone. “Salem, be quick. Alan’s having some sort of fit.”
“Lady, he’s trying not to blow his friggin top.” Salem sighed, “Cassie got hurt. She’s mostly good now, but I’m starting another dig for that. See what info on her past you can get from the agent, like DNA, everything.”
“Cassie’s DNA?” Endara looked at Bubbles. “When she was human you mean?”
Bubbles nodded and pulled out his own phone. “What are we doing?”
Endara held up a finger, then nodded as she partially shifted focus and hung up. “Parentage, this bastard toyed with her DNA. If we can find them we might be able to get help. We also need to know where to find something he called the ‘Blood of Gaia’.”
Bubbles paused and nodded to one of the other agents. The rail thin man nodded and pulled out his own phone as he stepped away. Bubbles then nodded to the blue skinned Rana woman that had joined him.
She stepped forward. “Agent Yenna Haddock. I’m trained in trauma therapy, I know your background, so if you need to talk, come to me.”
Endara nodded, “Right now we want all those kids safe and our baby better.” Endara was only now aware she was crying. Agent Haddock moved to help her carry Alan, but the man suddenly kicked back to life.
“Endie, tell me you got things covered while I rage blacked out.” Alan took a deep breath. “Hey Bubbs, glad to see you, can I borrow the knuckle dusters?”
Endara hugged her husband. “I did. We’ll get her the best help in the city.”
“Second best, the first is someone she’ll try to kill.” Alan reminded Endara.
“DNA tests are going through...” Bubbles said. “Agent Hemsward will handle contacting our handler on the Blood.”
“What?” Alan asked.
“Something I had suspected, but could never prove.” Bubble said as the transport doors opened. “We should move.”
“I feel like I was lied to...” Alan glared at the large man.
“I wasn’t about to give incomplete information, especially if it could rile you into a frenzy.” Bubbles explained, “Now I know and now I will explain.”
Alan snorted and nodded, but got in the transport with the rest. Then like a shot they were off.
---B)(S)(F---
Brian Burlin paced in the gym. It was one of the few areas he was able to wrest control of from the blasted entity that now possessed the school. Thrush herself was sitting in the bleachers, happily talking to the students and faculty that he had taken control over. She was discussing the finer points of his work with them. Then he felt his control over two of his minions fade. He frowned and stood up.
”The players play, the directors direct, the writer calls his muses.” He smiled under his mask as reality shrieked around him and black ink like creatures formed around him. “Come to me my chorus, your master has delinquents he must discipline. Find them, remove them from this draft.”
The shrieking creatures roared and bounded out from the gym.
Burlin smiled, so far his plan was going smoothly. He only needed to keep up the charade long enough for the others to complete their mission and then he would have his seat in full. He will have proved his use to Zero and the world would suddenly not care about the many, many experiments and criminal activities of GLOBAL. Not when the worst of the worst were released. Granted he did have to suggest leaving the maniac Jet Fission behind, no one really argued though. No one really wanted him out, but the rest of all the stored criminals on the Isle would be all GLOBAL needed to distract all the heroes. Then they would send the commands to their hidden mole, and every secret identity would no longer matter. He really liked the poetic nature of that, heroes benign consumed by lawsuits and accusations from the people they protect. Well the Charter would be. And that’s all they would need to ensure another hundred years of control.
Yes, everything was going great.
Then he felt a few more connections drop. He got the image of the eldest Quain punching in the face of one of his new recruits, then smiling like a trollop. He straightened his jacket in a huff, and once more called in a group of creatures.
“We have a student to discipline, one who will make herself a pain if we let her.” Burlin moved forward, “Follow me.”
---B)(S)(F---
Agatha peered around a corner, she saw two students milling around, both seemed uninterested in anything. Agatha motioned for Shadowstrike to get close. The Aztec Ninja nodded and crept up behind the duo, then rolled past them and grabbed their ankles as he shocked them through the tasers in his palms. Then Agatha came rushing in and clotheslined them both from behind.
“Jenny Jaller.” Shadowstrike said as he looked at the one student. “She normally summons painted soldiers to fight for her.”
“This is Siphon.” Agatha turned the other one over and he sprung awake and grabbed her arm.
“Got your powers!” Siphon laughed as he kicked Agatha in the leg using her own super strength.
Agatha growled as she stumbled back. Shadowstrike flipped away as Jenny woke up and tried to grab him in a rope made of paint. Then several doors opened and warped copies of other students and heroes stumbled out like technicolor zombies.
“What’re you gonna do now, Hellafyre? I got your powers and can match them.” Siphon hissed, “Or I can toss out another power.” He sprouted claws on his left hand to make the point.
“What am I gonna do?” Agatha gave a sharp double whistle.
A bleat like a train sounded from around the corner and a goat the size of a horse came crashing through the halls. It stopped and gouged the floor before it snorted and charged down Siphon. Then Siphon’s body grew in size out of nowhere and grappled the goat and slammed it into a set of lockers. Enraged, Agatha charged forward and tried to punch the now muscular Siphon, but the larger foe grabbed her and slammed her into the lockers next to Baaphomet. The goat stood, wobbly but clearly unafraid, and became a barrier to Agatha.
“Dumb loyal animals.” Siphon chuckled.
Shadowstrike impacted the lockers next to Agatha, tossed there by the army of painted heroes and students. He hissed in pain as he clutched his side and stumbled as he tried to stand.
“Looks like Illidae’s side is losing.” Jenny snickered.
Another scream drew the attention of the dominated students. Jenny was sent sailing further down the hall as a shield slammed into her chest with a loud thud. Then another person stepped out another classroom and a blast of electricity sent Siphon sailing through a classroom door.
Agatha stood up. “Hey Greg, great timing.” She looked at Heith who was stalking closer to the downed paint powered student.
“Hold up, I got binders.” Greg said as he moved to help Heith.
A roar of rage came from the classroom Siphon had been knocked into. Agatha jumped into his path and sent his skull colliding with the floor in a single smashing punch. Then she lifted him up, her family’s trademark feral grin on her face. Then Siphon went limp.
“Damn.” Heith blinked, “He took that and kept going.”
“Dude, can people please stop resisting my powers.” Greg was clearly annoyed.
“Voltai, help Shadowstrike. Follow us. Shieldmaiden, you got her?” Agatha put Siphon over her shoulder.
Heith nodded as she lifted Jenny over her shoulder. “And here I was thinking I’d be going out tonight.”
Agatha snorted, “You’re gonna have to make that move. He got fired yesterday.”
“He had a job?” Heith blinked.
“Pretzel Dog.” Agatha nodded.
“I never noticed.” Heith clucked her tongue. “The uniforms are cute at least.”
“Ladies...” Greg sighed, “Can we foc-” He was cut off as the door to the lower floor was knocked open and a strange paper-like creature with a singular inky eye peered around the corner. “We should run.”
“Double time!” Agatha shouted as the teens all began to run. “Room 215!”
“Canning?!” Heith shouted, “Of course she’s safe!”
They ran like mad, pushing themselves as hard as they could. Shadowstrike was even running, freeing Greg to occasionally let a blast backwards at the enemies. He never turned around though, for fear of losing pace. Then they saw the room, Canning was standing outside, her rifle at the ready and once she saw the students running she readied herself and opened the door.
“GET IN!” She ordered, “DON’T LOOK BACK
Agatha and Heith watched Greg and Shadowstrike rush forward and get in first. Then they lined up with the other students on their backs and hurled themselves into the classroom. They heard the door slam shut and took a moment to catch their breaths. Agatha stood up and nodded to the unconscious students, motioning to restrain them.
“That was close Ms Canning.” Agatha turned towards the door, but the teacher was not in the classroom and the gun fire outside had stopped.
/////
The First Story
Previous Part! //// Next Part!
Arc 1 - Black Sheep Family - Arc 1, First Chapter
Arc 2 - Paradigm Shift - Arc 2, First Chapter
Arc 3 - Gravitas Rising Arc 3, First Chapter
Arc 4 - The Director’s Chair Arc 4, First Chapter
Spotify
/////
Credit where Credit is due:
Kyton & Cassandra Adams are © u/TwistedMind596
Obsidian is © u/Ultimalice
Ixton the Blade of the Wielder is © My friend Forged of Souls who does not use reddit
Furnace is © my friend Matt who does not use reddit
Cedric Stein Meissner aka Tesseract is © my friend James, who does not use reddit.
All other characters and Dross City are © u/TheSmogMonsterZX
////
Smoggy: You may have noticed the new series.
Perfection: Diiick move. But I'm adapting to the changes...
Wraith: How often is this one planned?
Smoggy: The Days in our Millennia, has no set schedule.
Perfection: I love it!
DM: Sounds like a fair trade off. We get our own stories on the backburner for when he needs to rest for GSD or BSF.
Smoggy: GSD... Ffffff---
Perfection: Panic writing time!
Wraith: Calm down and breathe.
Smoggy: I'm working now. I have to focus... This is so prime GSD WRITING TIME! (passes out in panic)
Perfection: I don't think he breathed...

A few days ago I made a post about a new project error_set
error_set attempts to solve various pitfalls and verbosity with current error handling, such as the tendency for the accumulation of errors into "mega"/"god" enums. Some insightful comments from the last post:
comment
comment
Although error_set allows easy conversion from a subset of errors to a superset of errors with just into() or ?. There are some situations in its previous state it did not cover. For example how to ergonomically coerce between a superset to a subset (or between sibling errors) while handling disjointedness. With the previous way, given:

error_set! { SetX = { X } Common; SetY = { Y } Common; Common = { A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, }; } 

You would do

fn setx_result_to_sety_result() -> Result<(), SetY> { let _ok = match setx_result() { Ok(ok) => ok, Err(SetX::X) => {} // handle disjointedness Err(SetX::A) => { return Err(SetY::A); } Err(SetX::B) => { return Err(SetY::B); } Err(SetX::C) => { return Err(SetY::C); } Err(SetX::D) => { return Err(SetY::D); } Err(SetX::E) => { return Err(SetY::E); } Err(SetX::F) => { return Err(SetY::F); } Err(SetX::G) => { return Err(SetY::G); } Err(SetX::H) => { return Err(SetY::H); } }; Ok(()) } 

This was verbose to write and required maintenance. Still, a step up since with error_set everything was symmetrical and flat (no error nesting), but less than ideal.
How to solve this? Looking at the code, the repetitive nature seems like a great opportunity for a macro. The problem here is, a macro needs to know about any intersection between sets, but we don't know the possible intersections until our sets are defined. Sounds like we need the macro to write a macro. Is that even possible? Turns out the answer is yes.
Thus, the coerce! macro.

fn setx_result_to_sety_result() -> Result<(),SetY> { let _ok = coerce!(setx_result() => { Ok(ok) => ok, Err(SetX::X) => {}, // handle disjointedness { Err(SetX) => return Err(SetY) } // terminal coercion }); Ok(()) } 

The coerce! macro above expands to the previous code which vastly simplifies the above code and only requires you to handle the disjointedness.
The error_set! macro now generates a flat fast (no tt muncher 🦫) declarative macro called coerce!. This macro is pre-populated with all the intersection relations between sets. Write any match arms like in a normal match statement inside {..} and specify what you want to do with the rest e.g. { Err(SetX) => return Err(SetY) } { Err(SetX) => Err(SetY) } { SetX => return SetY } { SetX => SetY } Now with the coerce! macro we can now concisely handle specific variants of errors as they bubble up the call stack and propagate the rest. Thus, another tool to encourage correctly defining, scoping, and handling errors.
Github: https://github.com/mcmah309/error_set