What am I doing wrong here? Need help.
Hi everyone. I am not sure this is the right community to post this but I cannot think of anything else right now so here it goes.
I moved to Mumbai last July for my job as a banker in a public sector bank and I share a flat with a colleague (works in a different branch of the same bank)
Now the thing is this flatmate (25F) has always been very quiet and initially it felt that maybe she’s just an introvert, hence she keeps to herself mostly doesn’t talk much. We had problems getting along since the beginning because she does things at a slow pace, is forgetful (sometimes when i come home after work, I see the windows open and the lights on), is messy (we share a bathroom and she leaves a bunch of her hair in the drain after every hairwash day and its gross to see that). Basically she’s the youngest in her house and always had her father or brother to do shit for her.
I, on the other hand, come from a family where things weren’t handed to me on a platter and have had a upbringing with the mindset of “getting things done asap” (which def has made me an anxious person)
Anyway, we have always had issues adjusting because I have always had a problem with her just doing things without communicating with me. Example: my room has ac but it didn’t work and when summers started I thought I will only get it serviced after talking to her, and getting her opinion on how she wants to spend summers because one ac is in my room and other is in the hall so i thought maybe we could sleep in the hall together and that would help with the electricity bill also. She was out of town so I spent a few days without the ac because i wanted to talk to her before getting it serviced. But once she was back, she straight up told me how she had already asked the owner for installing another ac in her room without even mentioning it to me because now ofc there would be an increase in the electricity bill. Again, i let it go thinking that maybe she wanted privacy and that’s okay.
But, when the ac was installed in her room thats when she told me to split the installation cost and the ac rent for the ac in her room. For a week she didn’t tell me anything about the cost involved in installing the ac and the ac rent. It wasn’t even my decision to install the ac and neither was I informed that I will have to pay for the ac in her room. (Ac in my room came with the flat so no charges are there for that)
Her behaviour is very strange. At the slightest of arguments or disagreements she starts this silent war where she stops communicating at all and I keep wondering what I have done wrong to deserve this. Yes, clashes happen when you live with someone but i don’t understand this behaviour of putting up a wall and acting as if there is no one else living in the same place. Whenever this has happened, i am the one who initiates conversation after that all the time.
Two weeks ago, i heard her bitching about me to someone on the phone and i was obviously hurt but I don’t keep things to myself and pretend that everything is okay when its not so i told her that I could hear her talking about me. To which, she said “next time if you have a problem with my voice disturbing you please knock on the door.” I mean, i was hurt because of what she was saying and not because i had a problem with her volume.
I was fed up of this and hence decided to send her a text asking her to please not act this way and she confronted me about that text. In that conversation i told her i felt hurt about what she said and she said “I am not responsible for your feelings “ and told that she doesn’t like to justify her actions when i brought up the ac topic. I can’t tell you how much it hurt to hear that from someone who you consider an almost friend and who’s been your flatmate for almost a year. Yes we are different people but imo this was a low blow even when she was in the wrong.
Silent war after this has been going on for over two weeks now and honestly i am so so so tired and anxious all the time. I look for ways to not come to the flat. Lease is ending this month, i will move out but my god this has taken such a toll on my mental health. I just keep crying thinking that it went to this extent because I don’t realise what i have done wrong to deserve this behaviour. I dont even know how can someone be so cruel say words like these, bhai mere ex ne bhi ye sab nahi bola kabhi!!
Anyway, please tell how to adjust for the next month because my god everyday i wake up with anxiety and feeling weird about my living situation and there is this weird aura around all the time. Please help.

(Throwaway account; TLDR at the end)
I (30F) dated my ex (31M) for 3-4 months in late 2022. I felt mentally and spiritually close to him at a level I hadn’t felt before with anyone else. And I also felt deeply inspired by him. I had never met anyone who looked at the world like he does. He was very affectionate very fast, or so it seemed to me as it was my first real relationship, and I had gotten attached to him quickly.
But he was also not over his ex girlfriend when we met and was still grieving over her and the hurt she had caused (she was emotionally abusive). He talked a lot about her making me feel like I'm being compared to her, and soon started getting hot and cold with me. He broke up with me (or got me to break up with him) three times before we finally broke up. I was heartbroken and very hurt and felt like I had not mattered to him at all. My confidence was completely shattered by never measuring up to what he wanted. I did understand even then that it wasn't intentional/malicious and he was just lost and hurt coming out of an abusive relationship.
2023 was one of the lowest points in my life. I had started to hate myself and my life because of the things he had said. I spent sleepless months getting over him and rebuilding myself and started to get into spirituality, meditation and therapy for help.
In late 2023, he reached out to say sorry. I did feel over him at that point and honestly wished he hadn't texted. I had also started meeting new people but missed conversing with him. So when he texted, I asked to meet him one last time. I did not want to get back together but don't understand why I met him.
Inspite of myself, we ended up having a long chat and I confided about my mental health issues. He was the only one I had talked to this openly about my struggle and the only one who could relate to me so well. We also connected over spirituality. Over the next couple of months, he was very supportive and I am genuinely grateful to him for all he did for me. He did try to convince me to get back together with him but I could not bring myself to trust him again and I asked to break up for good.
But should I give him another chance? I have been torn ever since we broke up. On the one hand, he can be very aloof and detached. When we started dating, he was very loving by words and actions but internally, did not seem to care about my feelings at all. I felt not up to the mark with him. And I am unable to trust him anymore. But he has been nothing but amazingly supportive and kind and apologetic since we reconnected and he was deeply hurt when we broke up for good this year. Even if I forgive him completely, I am not sure if we are compatible. He is a caring kind of man where he wants to take care of his partner but he doesn't really want to be cared for. Or he does not seem to appreciate my love or care. He doesn't let go emotionally with me which makes me feel like he doesn't trust that I can take care of him too. He doesn't get too vulnerable with me. He told me he might not do that with anyone, which makes me feel like we are not compatible. Lastly, I would also love for my partner to admire/be inspired by me a little like I would be with him. But I don't think he admires me like I do him. I feel like I don't add any value to his life emotionally or intellectually and he does not seek my opinion in any aspect of his life.
We have reached a good place where we both respect and deeply care for each other and wish the best for each other. But every time I talk to new people, I feel drawn to him and it has been stressing me.
I have little experience and would appreciate your opinions and advice. In my mind, I should not get back together with him anymore and want a fresh start. But as he has been saying, relationships aren't always perfect and a fresh start would have its own ups and downs. I also don't know if I will find a connection like that again. We are two people who care about each other and even love each other (in our own different ways) but is that enough to be happy?
Thank you for reading my very long post.
TL;DR version: ex partner was not over his abusive ex girlfriend and treated me recklessly (albeit unintentionally)- made me fall in love and then left. A year later he helps me get my mental health in check and wants me to give him another chance. Should I?

The most effective study methods for academic success boil down to:
Time management
There are countless time management techniques, but one beautiful thing about going to school is that a lot of your time is managed for you.
The week and when you need to be in class is arranged.
Professors tell you when assignments are due, etc.
Heck, when I was in university they even gave us calendars for use to write in our due dates.
So the number one thing is to combine what you know with the tools everyone has: the calendar.
In many cases, you can also get advanced notices from professors by simply talking to them before the semester even begins.
You would also do well to explore techniques like the Eisenhower Matrix, time blocking and the Pareto Principle.
Above all, make time management something you study unto itself.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach. But those who study it as the discipline it is will win.
Study Environment Optimization
Studying effectively cannot be random or subject to interruptions.
If you have to study on transit, invest in custom ear plugs of the kind musicians use, not noise-cancelling headphones that will put you at risk in the case of an emergency. Custom ear plugs have filters that let you still hear without being bothered by shrill noises and you can switch between light and heavy filters.
Having multiple study locations worked out in advance is a great strategy because you can walk between them and percolate your thoughts – literally remembering more by simply getting in a bit of exercise. I used to call this "Road Work" when I was in university.
When at home, put a "Do not disturb" sign on your door. Make it clear to others that you are studying and train them to respect the hours you want to put it. Do not compromise. It's your future.
Note-Taking Strategies
There are many different kinds of note-taking methods. My fave is to use Zettelkasten in combination with Memory Palaces.
These two videos detail how the Zettelkasten Method operates in combination with the Memory Palace technique:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIQRiqQFKQY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrN0kaE6DkY
Memory techniques
Like time management, the topic of memory improvement is huge. Make sure to spend a good three months learning all of its ins-and-outs.
The key techniques you'll want to master are:
The Memory Palace A Alphabet System (or pegword system) A Number System (usually based on the Major System) A Symbol System A Spaced Repetition system
These accelerated learning techniques may feel like you're building an airport in the beginning, but think about it:
You do need airports to launch and land planes as effectively and efficiently as possible. It's the same with memory techniques.
You can also do yourself a favor and learn more about memory science. It will teach you about how the mind and memory work and give you ideas that will only arise if you know a little bit about what researchers have found.
Stress Management For Students
Don't make my mistake. I drank like a fish and ate poorly throughout university. This meant that a lot of the experience was lost to depression.
Sure, memory techniques helped… but I can't help but imagine how much more successful I would have been during and after if I'd had better ways of coping with the stress.
Diet, fitness, mindfulness practices, time off with friends for positive and healthy recreation. This is not complicated, though when you're young, impulsivity can certainly make it seem that way.
Exam Preparation Strategies
This basically comes back to properly using your calendar and memory techniques.
For the benefits of what is sometimes called state-dependent or context-dependent memory, it can be useful to study where you will take your exams. It's advisable to use Memory Palaces based on these exam rooms whenever possible.
(Those terms are the kinds of insider memory hacks you'll enjoy only when you understand your memory science, and there are many more that can help you with your exam prep.)
Take mock tests as much as you can. Reflect on what you're learning often. Talk about it with other students.
Don't cram and avoid wasting time on the fantasy that there are any "subject-specific study tips." Maybe if you're in nursing school and need to have patient bodies in specific position, but generally tests are about words, numbers and symbols. Learn how to commit them to memory and talk as much as you can about the information so it is well-exercised before you sit for your exams.
Form Effective Study Groups
There are many benefits to group study if you can select solid group members. This can be tricky, but one way to do it involves a slightly involved strategy:
Try to be part of a club or association. I was president of the English Undergraduate Student Association at York University in Toronto, for example. This drew precisely the right people because anyone who wanted to be part of the association already loved English Literature by default.
After you find the right members, it's just a matter of scheduling regular meetings based on decent agendas and following reasonable time limits so you don't burn out.
One thing my fave study group in university did a lot was to share reading. In other words, we'd each tackle an article or book and then present on it.
Ultimately, you still have to do the reading yourself, but it forms a nice mental framework that makes reading faster and easier when someone you can speak with has summarized the core ideas. These days, you can search YouTube and podcasts for this kind of summarization much of the time, but it's still not the same as being in a study group with other people.
You also get experience with peer teaching and tutoring this way, which is hugely beneficial for your memory. Even if you never intend to teach yourself, the simple effort that goes into preparing and delivering short presentations will benefit you in the short-term for your exams and long-term in your career. Collaborative learning also gives you something powerful to put on your resume, especially if your study group is linked with a formal university institution or group.
Work On Your Reading And Comprehension Skills
The main shortcut here is to simply read a lot, boost your vocabulary as you go by memorizing terms and write summaries as much as you can.
Doesn't sound like a shortcut, I know. But it really is. It helps develop pattern recognition and that's how you ultimately wind up quickly assessing the key points and inferring many things correctly.
Be humble, though. Mistakes will always happen, so be willing to go back and read things again.
Another key aspect of reading is to challenge yourself. Get outside of your comfort zone and read above your level at least a few times a week.
Don't worry about whether you understand what you're reading or not. Soon, moments of insight will arise.
Even if it doesn't happen soon, rest assured that will. There are aspects of philosophy that didn't come clear to me until after 30 years of reading. I'm not ashamed of this at all. I just haven't read and reflected enough to connect the dots. But if I had read above my level sooner, I probably would have had the insights sooner.
Motivation and Discipline
Technically, motivation is not necessary when you have systems. That's what discipline is all about.
That said, it's useful to know about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. These will be arranged differently in different people as some people respond well to threats of pain whereas others respond better to promises of reward.
Know thyself.
Hire a coach if you have to, as it will be worth it in the end. Many exist and some universities have behavioral science programs, learning disability labs and other institutions where you can learn more directly about these issues.
Finally, you can learn about the difference between tonic and phasic dopamine relative to how the Default Mode Network of your brain is in a kind of battle with the Task Positive Network. This area is kind of heavy on the brain science, but well worth an afternoon or two to figure out the implications in your life.
Just watch out: When optimizing your dopamine levels for motivation, you could wind up enlightened and have your ego make you think you're better than everyone else… which would not be enlightenment. But it'll sure feel that way.
That's why the next category is so important.
Make Time To Learn Critical Thinking
A lot of education involves humans who weigh what they teach and how they teach it based on subjective agendas. It's pretty difficult for anyone not to do that.
When you spend some time developing your critical thinking skills, you'll be able to determine when teachers and writers/video creators, etc. are being too subjective or otherwise slaves to any number of cognitive biases.
Likewise, you'll be able to spot them in yourself and weed many of them out before they can distract you.
The simplest way to use critical thinking while studying is to put Why, Where, When, Who and How up on a Memory Wheel and constantly rotate through it.
As you learn more about different thinkers, you can also start to ask, "What would Freud say about this? What would Skinner say? What would x say?"
To do this, study as many of the sciences and Liberal Arts as you possibly can. If you don't know where to start, go through the Trivium and then the Quadrivium. Knowing how to think through those seven lenses and ask what the major figures in each field would generally say will help you "triangulate" just about any issue and think both objectively and subjectively about it and know which is which.
Self-Assessment And Improvement
Ultimately, the best judge of your progress is you.
To make sure you're giving yourself good materials to judge yourself by, journal, ideally daily.
If you can, keep two journals:
A snapshot journal that simply lists what you did on a particular day.
A discursive journal where you reflect on your thoughts about how things went.
There are many formal products you can buy that will help you journal in particular ways. The Freedom Journal has been one of my faves, but the real tip is to experiment with as many journaling styles as you can in the two main styles I just mentioned.
As you can tell, there's not that much when it comes to embracing a wide number of learning strategies. Apply these tips to the study resources you need to cover on your way to the exam room and you'll do well.
Take Care Around Technology And Studying
There are tons of apps that can help "gamify" these activities, but at the end of the day, gamification is really just a mental metaphor. If it doesn't work for you, find a better metaphor.
Nir Eyal discussion the power of mental metaphors based on some research in Indistractable and more on the matter is found in The Victorious Mind by yours truly. There was even recently a Duke University study showing just how powerful adopting mental metaphors can be for remembering information.
Academic success can indeed be enjoyable, and all the more so when you work out what will make it enjoyable and meaningful for you. Personalize as much of the journey as you can, constantly applying critical thinking to every suggestion you come across and all of your study experiences will become much, much more rewarding.

Inebriated Conversations

After eight long and grueling hours, we began our rapid descent from the heavens. I never really got the: “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” pickup line until we hit the tarmac. The force of the impact nearly knocked my head into the seat in front of me, so fuck yeah, it hurt when I fell from heaven. I’d imagine even Lucifer himself had a softer landing than we did. He also didn’t have to endure the stomach churning and nauseating food that was served on the plane, but I digress, at least we had finally reached our destination. A land not so far away that only varied in appearance, but the truth was this mystical and magical land, deep down, was no different from the place I grew up or attend college. As I waited in purgatory, the security line, I began wondering if I was dreaming. Was I really in London or even a different country for that matter? The line, which seemed so much longer than the European and the U.K., line was filled with fellow Americans. Perhaps they are still acrimonious about us beating them in the Revolutionary War, so they decided that this was ample punishment for our victory. Whatever the case, we finally made it through security, then collected our bags. I saw my relatively new bag with the bowtie on the handle and was relieved that it had not been lost or left in the United States. We met our tour guide, Emma, who at first glance seemed to be very different. She had an unusual hair cut that was much shorter than ones most woman her age would have, but I soon learned that her appearance, much like London’s, would not be any indication of what lies beyond. When we finally escaped from limbo, the airport, we were put on a coach bus, and taken to our hotel. I was exhausted and in need of a shower, but all I could do was drop my luggage off, then swiftly return to the lobby. As we stood outside in the crisp, refreshing air, we were handed our subway passes, or as they say, “tube passes.” We followed our guide, Emma, on a short walk to the underground. When our group finally descended the stairs and made our way to the map, a map Virgil couldn’t even navigate, we began our journey that involved the same punishment as those afforded to people in the eighth level of hell. We walked endlessly, 10.6 miles, and viewed the most popular tourist attractions London had to offer. I was surrounded by beautiful statues, fantastic architecture, and attractive people whose dialect could captivate almost anyone. At first, like everyone else, I was completely and utterly captivated by it all, because it was a completely different world. Our group finished the day with a mile and a half walk to the Globe Theatre, where we saw Shakespeare’s play, Comedy of Errors. My fellow students and I stood, as our professors sat comfortably watching the play. During the production, all I could think about was my numb legs and my aching feet. I tried drowning the pain with a few glasses of overly priced and nasty wines, but my attempt was to no avail. For once in my life, I knew what it was like to experience actual physical agony, not just the tedious and never-ending emotional kind. It wasn’t the lake of fire or some frozen wasteland, but that shit was still excruciating. After the play, we struggled to find a new passageway to the hot and crowded underworld, the tube, but luckily, I had service on my phone, so we found it. We finally made it back to the hotel around eleven in the evening. After a long day of flying and an excess of walking, I had never been as excited as I was to climb into a bed that was, quite frankly, too small for my six-foot-five physique. To anyone reading this, don’t worry, I’m not planning on giving a day to day synopsis of what I saw while I was abroad, because the sights aren’t what truly matter. I mean, I could just rant about Buckingham Palace and its beauty, Windsor Castle and its enormous layout, the Tower of London and its history, the Natural History Museum and its priceless artifacts, Stratford upon Avon and Shakespeare’s life, Oxford and it’s impressive library, Cornwall and its tranquil beaches, the Minack Theatre and its sublimity, or the Ashmolean Museum and its Jeff Koons exhibition, but that shit has no genuine meaning to it. I’m not going to waste your time by writing about some tourist sites that you could see in almost any travel magazine about the U.K., so if that’s what you are looking for stop reading. I suggest you pick up a travel magazine and read it until you are content, but if you want to read something real, then I suggest you continue. The reality is, the things I’ll take from this trip are the inebriated conversations I had with others. I not only gave these people advice about their lives; I learned something new about my own. I, ***** *******, am the Barstool Prophet, who descended from the heavens prepared to spout wisdom and retardation. Before I divulge the serious and deep conversations I experienced abroad, I want to let you know that the other person and I were under the influence of alcohol. I know what you are thinking, but alcohol has been a part of human culture since 7,000 B.C.; to put that into perspective, man invented alcohol before the wheel. From what I've seen in my lifetime some people drink to forget, some drink to remember, some drink to punish themselves, and some drink to converse with others. I fall into the latter category, but while I was in the U.K., I encountered people whose purpose for drinking was similar to mine as well as people that would fall in the other categories. I never really got the saying, "It's better to be a glass half full person, than a glass half empty person." I get the whole positivity aspect of the saying; however, I'd trust a "glass half empty person" far more, because they'd just order another drink. I am in no way trying to promote alcoholism; in reality, I am just trying to explain how alcohol can fuel an in-depth conversation. The Latin proverb "In Vino Veritas" states that "In Wine there is Truth"; wiser words have never been spoken. Alcohol allows people to speak their hidden thoughts and desires, especially to a stranger like me. 

Emma

As I stated earlier, Emma was our tour guide, who sported a relatively short and somewhat masculine haircut. Luckily, I had consumed enough alcohol at the time of her arrival to ask her why she chose that specific style. After giving me a vague: “because I like it” response, she clutched her glass of wine and forced it down. We talked about her occupation and how lonely traveling could get, but she seemed like she was familiar with the feeling of loneliness. She asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, and I said, “I want to be a lawyer.” Emma slammed her glass down and began to laugh hysterically; she said, “Seriously?” I found her response quite peculiar until she revealed that her ex-husband was a lawyer. He was devoted to his job and always worked long hours, which did not bother her, at first. I surmise that his lack of interest in her is what led to their separation. After a long moment of silence, I gulped my drink down and gained the courage to ask: “do you think the relationship you had with him prepared you for this job?” She paused and began to think intently. She took a sip of her wine, laughed, and said, “I guess so, that’s one positive thing I got out of the relationship.” The chat continued with talk of food, politics, weather, and other small-talk topics, but then we somehow made it back to her haircut. Emma told me that she was bi-sexual, which, despite the tell-tell signs in her appearance, isn’t something she shares with most people. I told her that homophobia and racism is a major part of the culture that I grew up in, which surprised her. She couldn’t comprehend how someone with that upbringing could be so openminded. I responded with one word and one word only, “Self-Awareness.” I came to the realization that in life people are consciously and unconsciously molded by those around them, but at the end of the day, it is their choice to decide who they are and what they believe. Emma’s marriage may not have been picture perfect, but she was still able to take something positive from it. As much as we don’t want to admit it, even the worst of our relationships impact us in a positive way. 

Phillip Goldsmith

Before I get into this incredibly intense and somewhat depressing story, I’d like to describe its setting. I was sitting on a red velvet couch, drinking Jack Daniels Honey in a tall glass with one ice cube. I know what you are thinking, but I was not in a strip club. Our hotel’s game room/ bar area looked like an American strip club, not that I’ve ever been in one. Like seriously, if a few poles and dancers were added, I’d feel like I was at the Red Carpet, which is a strip club near where I live, but again, I may or may not have been there. I had finished half my bottle when Phil walked in, and I could immediately tell that he was hurting on the inside. Excluding dumbass frat guys, not very many people drink vodka straight out of the bottle with the intention of finishing it. He sat next to us, so I reached my hand out and said, “Hey man, what’s your name?” He said, “Hello, I am Phillip Goldsmith.” I responded as anyone would and said, “That’s a badass name!” We talked about life, love, and women as most guys do. We were both close to finishing our bottles when I noticed a tattoo on his arm that said, “Harry.” Who was this Harry? He certainly didn’t strike me as a Royalist, so I knew he didn’t just get the prince’s name on his arm for shits and giggles. I gulped down a few more sips of my drink and slowly placed it back down. I looked him in the eyes and said, “who is Harry?” His response shook every bone in my body to their core. After holding his tears back and ingesting some more of his vodka, Phil looked at me and said that “Harry was his son.” Was? He continued speaking, and I learned that Harry died three days after he was born. That tragic loss would result in a few other loses in his life, his wife, and his faith. Phil told me that he used to go to his grave on his birthday and Christmas, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t see a point in it any longer. Surprisingly I felt the urge to tell him that “God loved him and that he would see his son again.” I am in no way a prolific believer; I’d probably put myself in the wayward son category. However, something came over me, and I felt like I needed to tell him that. We had both finished our drinks, and as we were saying our goodbyes, he thanked me. I don’t know why, but he did. My encounter with Phil taught me that when you meet someone, you don’t know what they are going through, but through love and compassion, you can have a positive impact on them. 

Lexie

Lexie is a beautiful and intelligent young lady from Kansas City, Missouri. We met and chatted throughout the week because she was a part of our EF group. One night, after Lexie and I had more than our share of wine, we began to talk about our plans for the future. Before I tell this story, you must know, I have the unfortunate handicap of flirtation when I drink, but she was able to move past my impulsive outburst. I think my accidental comments about her beautiful eyes, stunning smile, and cute laugh allowed her to open up to me. Despite what you are thinking, I like to flirt because I enjoy making women smile, I don’t always do it for self-serving reasons. Anyways, as I said, we started discussing our plans for the future, but one can’t divulge their future in an inebriated state without discussing their past. I gave my whole spiel about wanting to be a prosecutor who would later become a congressman, then a Supreme Court or D.C. Circuit Court justice. She said, “Wow! That’s quite the plan. I want to go into Law as well.” I hastily responded by saying, “That’s sexy. I could see it.” We both laughed, but then she said, “I don’t know though, Law School is hard.” She didn’t strike me as a person who couldn’t handle a challenge, so I asked, “Why do you think you wouldn’t excel? You present yourself as someone who does.” She tried not to blush, then sipped her extremely sweet white wine. I know it was sweet because I made the unfortunate decision of trying it; it was so sweet that even a rock would get a hangover from it. Anyways, she started talking about high school and how people thought she was unintelligent. I laughed and thought about how I experienced that very same thing. I said, “Fuck that, screw them. God, high school girls are mean. Do you actually believe that crap?” She giggled and said, “Of course not, but it’s still in the back of my head.” I grabbed another beer from Raj, the bartender at the hotel. Yes, we were on a first name basis; did you expect anything less from the barstool profit? I sat back down and leaned in, intent on getting this point across to Lexie. I sipped my beer, ever so casually, and said, “Listen, we all remember the immature negatives of our high school existence, but this is now. At some point, we have to grow up into the people we want to be, not who everyone tells us to be.” She then asked, “Why are you so wise?” (You are probably thinking “sure she did,” but I swear that is what she said; I’m not a narcissist using creative license to praise myself.) I accredited it to my amazing parents as well as the shitty ex-girlfriends, situations, and friends I had experienced. We continued talking about a lot of random things like abortion, racism in America, and other pseudo-political topics. It was 3 am. when we finally decided it was time to go to bed. I hugged her and told her to use those negative voices as motivation. Again, I was thanked for the conversation, which, at this point, seems to be a normal thing for strangers to do. My conversation with Lexie made me realize that, when we travel, the baggage we carry isn’t only the physical kind. That tedious and deep emotional baggage also comes along for the journey. Most people, who travel somewhere, will lose a physical part of their baggage, like a sock, shirt, or something of that nature. Lexie did something most could not and do not, she left a piece of her emotional baggage, the night I spoke to her in the bar. 

Szymon

Szymon was in the bar area when I got to the hotel. He had a very interesting accent, which was far different from the ones I had heard that week, so I asked, “Where are you from?” He said, in a relatively drunken manner, “I am from Poland. You’re from America, aren’t you.” I responded with a firm: “Yes.” The conversation proceeded with small talk, but as I had a few more beers, the topics shifted to more serious topics. I was recently in a Holocaust history class, so of course, the first serious thing I asked was if he had been to Warsaw to see the Concentration Camps. He paused in silence, so I said, “Talk about hell on Earth, the holocaust was some fucked up shit.” After saying that he seemed to gain the courage to tell me that he was Jewish. He told me about the things his parents endured as children and how his grandfather had died in a concentration camp. He told me how he had rejected his faith after hearing these horrible stories. He said to me, “What could faith do for someone. The Jews have been persecuted countless times for it.” I understood where he was coming from, but at the same time, I didn’t. He had real reasons for his existential doubt, and I truly could not say the same. I got a shot of vodka from Raj; threw it back, and said, “Our faith shapes our decisions in life, even if we tell ourselves it doesn’t.” He sat pondering my words, but he seemed bored of the discussions about faith. I quickly changed the subject and asked him, “Why are you in London?” I learned that he travels all over continental Europe cleaning asbestos out of old buildings. I responded as any young person would and said, “that’s cool. I’d love to travel all over Europe.” He said, “it might be for a young single guy, but I hardly see my kids. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my wife cheated on me.” I couldn’t believe he would say something that personal, but then again, that’s what alcohol does. I suggested that he quit the job and find one closer to home. He laughed and said, “Ugh… you sound like my wife right now.” I bought him another beer and said, “maybe you should listen to her.” He looked at me and said, “maybe you are right ha-ha.” My conversation with Szymon taught me that it doesn’t matter how much money you make or how many places you get to travel on the company’s dime. What matters in life is family and the ones you love. By the time we stopped talking, I could hardly understand him, but he shook my hand and said, “have fun in London.” I laughed and said, “I will, call your wife tonight and tell her you love her.” He smiled and nodded, assuring me he would. It was time to leave, so I packed my things and got ready to go to the airport. I finally boarded my fiery chariot that would bring me back to the heavens. I forced down a few shots of Jack Daniels, closed my eyes, and wondered if the Barstool Prophet would have a second coming. Would I ever return to this amazing city and spout words of wisdom and retardation? Would I ever drink two whole liters of cider and wake up with a black eye? Well, that one is a definite no, but so many questions are left unanswered. Did I actually impact those that I talked to? Did they even remember the conversation? As much as I want to believe I did, I’ll never know. We don’t know what this life holds or what our encounters with strangers will yield; all we can do is give it our best shot and live like we are dying… (Que inspiring music). 

Let me know if the foundation of this sardonic and surface level literature reference writing has potential… first ever post!

(Likely throw-away account because I don't want to associate this with my main, but I'll keep an eye out for replies anyway.)
Heads up: This is already getting pretty long, and I'm just starting, so...
I'm not sure this is truly all that horrific, but it sucked in the moment, at least.
So; small bit of backstory: this was like... I want to say 3 years ago? just a year or two into the pandemic. A couple people I know had a friend that offered to DM for DnD for the first time; and none of us had played DnD before. One of the two was super excited about it, because she'd just recently (at the time) gotten into Critical Role. The other was also super excited, because he was just interested in the game in a general sense (they're currently playing semi-weekly with an online group, really glad this didn't ruin the game for them).
I didn't feel as enthused; I was going to give it a shot (I'd had a couple of interesting ideas before then, but I honestly think I'd have a better (though still not great) time as the DM), but I didn't see myself even finishing the campaign, at first.
Then I got into character creation, and my muse started bouncing off the walls with ideas.
I ended up going with a Tiefling fighter (I forget what his name was, but I'll call him... Kamdo), for the sake of ease of use, and learning the game, while also providing the DM with opportunities to have fun with character interactions.
Kamdo's backstory was pretty sparse, but I didn't want to overwhelm the DM, considering I was an aspiring author (and still am, truth be told), and even as little as I wrote (barely two paragraphs) was like... 3 times as much as every other player, and probably the total length of every other character on the board for our first party.
One of these people ended up playing a half-elf... Sorcerer, I think? I honestly don't remember much of that character. (her name was some poetic thing about song, so I'll call her Sonata)
The other ended up playing a... I think it was a human druid? he was a fairly forgettable character, beings as he hardly ever spoke up. (I think his name was Renald?)
The DM played a dwarven... Paladin? yeah, that sounds right. (I'll call her Barryl)
Now, at the time, I didn't know that DMPCs even had a name, let alone a reputation, so I didn't even have the context to think to protest. Though, even now, I don't think they can't be done well, just that this one didn't even come close (not that I'd know, mind).
Anyway, session 1 comes along, and our characters meet for the first time; barely any real roleplay- the thing I was most looking forward to, but that's forgivable, I figure; beings that our group was made up of a new DM, and all newbie party. 'It's probably not that strange', I figured (my hind brain is much more socially aware than my front brain).
Now; important note: I'm not very personable in... person (I probably could've worded that better, but it's not coming to me right now). I don't like talking, I don't like people, I have severe social anxiety (my hands shake while in front of a cashier), and I've met the DM all of like 4 times, each for maybe 3 minutes, up to this point.
It was never going to be easy for me to act like a personable character, so instead I leaned into my natural quietness. Kamdo was an orphan from a nondescript village nestled in the foothills of a mountain, and spent much of his life as a librarian to earn a living, while dealing with the racism of a small town (the only bit of anything weird I gave his backstory was that said town had zero information on magic, despite having a relatively large library).
Eventually, he gets sick of living there, and decides to train under the town guardsmen, before taking off into the wilds on his first adventure!
The first major obstacle out party faced was... a door. I wish I was kidding.
The first thing that happened was that someone tried to pick the door open. Then someone kicked it. Both failed, beings as the rolls were something like 7, 8, and 5, or something. On a D20. I did the natural thing, and just reached over to open the door (this is semi-important later). It doesn't budge.
I shrug, and, figuring that my character, being decked out head-to-toe in plate armor, two pole-arms, and a heavy shield, could break the thing down. Kamdo got a running start, just to be sure, and charged!
Nat 20.
Kamdo breaks down the door, full tilt, and runs face first into some nasty webbing. Well, Sonata irritatedly extracts Kamdo from the webbing, while Berryl and Renald clear out the rest of the room.
The entire campaign is to this roughly this tune.
So, at the end of this dungeon, there's a Drider encounter (I glanced at the stat sheet one time, and ever since, I've been wondering how the DM intended for us to win that encounter), which ends in the thing falling off the ceiling, and promptly taking half its health in damage. Kamdo ended up finishing it off with a pitying thrown dagger, which he had collected from an earlier room.
The entire thing was pretty comedic, and overall rather fun, but I was already beginning to see the cracks. I had a bad habit of 'making sure' the right dice were rolled for the right checks, and was well and truly bored during combat. I just... It had its moments, but I kept spacing out, waiting for my turn, resulting in Kamdo attacking an already downed opponent. It wasn't great.
But, I figured I'd stick it out for the long haul (at the time), for the sake of the other players.
Fast forward 2 fucking sessions of walking, and we're coming up on Baludur's Gate.
Now, quick thing (I'm sorry, this is how my brain works, bare with me please): the DM had been hyping up Baldur's Gate both in- and out- of game for a month by this point. She couldn't wait for us to get there.
But first, I got the sniffles, and self isolated, thereby missing a session, but trusted my mother to play my character adequately in the meantime.
When I came back, nobody bothered to fill me in, and I was dumped into the middle of a combat scenario, against a hoard of Evil Dudes. I didn't even know what species they were, nevermind why we were fighting them.
Just "So, roll initiative!" From the DM to start the session.
'Fuckin', okay then.' I figure to myself, saying nothing aloud.
I had no idea what was going on the entire session, but apparently, we won! (yay?)
So, after the combat encounter was over, I finally got some context, because people were talking to each other now. Apparently, the same Drider that I killed back in session 2? 3? was back at it, with a hoard of cultists to back it up.
Now I'm reall confused, because, well... Duh! WTF was even going on here? I distictly remember killing that thing, yet here we are, fighting its cultist minions! Just... whatever, I eventually let it go, because I was on the recieving end of some equally confused looks, like obviously the Drider that we had no business fighting was back, who else would it be?
Fuckin-
Whatever.
So, our little mottley crew runs into a couple NPCs who are leaving the city (it's a city right? I'm not misremembering that?). They tell us about how the guards put one of their friends in prison for no good reason, and there's a person in the wizard's guild that might be able to help us with Sonata's character quest!
'Cool!' I think! 'Some real nice Roleplay could come out of this; my character's looking to multiclass into wizard; it'll be a neat diversion, and I'll have some fun playing this character that I haven't had any real fun with yet!'
NOPE!
The other players decide that they're going to help break out these two random people's friend from prison!
Why, you may ask?!
...
...
...
So, we make it into the city, and the first thing the party does is, guess what?!
Break a convicted felon out of prison!
They didn't even wait to go shopping first!
Now; I'm absolutely flabbergasted by this point. Hopefully, understandably so.
So; the party breaks the convicted felon out of prison, and immediately makes for the docks; apparently one of the now 3 4(! fucking) DMPCs 'has a friend'.
Deep breaths.
So, we go off into the waters, having spent all of 1 real-life hour in Baldur's Gate "The place where everything happens." - direct quote from the DM.
During this boat ride, one of the DMPCs gives old Kamdo (He's somehow the oldest character in the party at a whopping 32) a spell shield (mirror shield? it was a shield that had advantage blocks against magic). I look down at my level (5, I think?) fighter, and just kind of cringe, since my AC is like 24 already, and with this new shield it jumped to like 26. Kamdo is untouchable without an advantage roll.
So, naturally, we fight a goddamn Sea monster next (one more monster we really shouldn't have fought) but we pulled it off... somehow.
Now I was incredibly bored, and the DM seemed to pick up on that, having me try to train Renald. Kamdo did that, and 2 sessions later we finally made it back to land.
Directly into Sonata's character quest.
Guess what we fought while we were there?
A fucking level 15 Lich.
Said lich TPKs us. It hit Kamdo Through his magic advantage sheild, and one shot him.
That was the last straw for me. I had Sonata's player play Kamdo's arc to fruition, and left. (He ended up settling on an island in book heaven, with Sonata pining after him, for anyone interested.)
I haven't played DnD since.
Honestly, I kinda-sorta feel bad; because the campaign fizzled out not long after I left. I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I'd still stuck it out.
I sincerely hope you all had more fun reading this than I had experiencing it, because I just don't trust fast, and that means I don't have anyone I'd even be interested in playing with anymore.

CONTENTS

The following guide has been split into these sections: - CONTENTS - So how/why does it work? - ITEMS - RUNES - Core Mechanics of Nami W - Final Words
As per request of a fellow fishie, I have come forth with a rune page that has been rising in popularity on enchanters: First Strike. Not only is this applicable on Nami, but on a lot of other enchanters who have decent range
Due to the length and detail of this guide, I can understand if some fishies don't wish to read everything. For ease of access, here are some formatting guidelines for thr TLDRs of this post:
The following guide has been split into sections for easier navigation, if u are in a hurry for a specific section, scroll down to find the specific subheading that u need. Each explanation is also lengthy, but if u want a brief TLDR of each section, it will be enclosed for each section directly under their respective subheading:

So how/why does it work?

TLDR (for this section): - Take First Strike vs matchups you outrange - Nami E on allies procs First Strike - The new Jack of All Trades rune should be utilised (see below for how)
Before I get into the specific build, I first need to explain how and why this whole setup works. First Strike is mostly taken as a gold-accelerating rune vs matchups that u outrange, ensuring that u get the "first strike" onto enemies consistently. With the changes to First Strike giving more base gold on the initial hit and less gold on subsequent hits compared to before, it pairs really well with a lot of enchanters' poke patterns. Usually, we have one poke spell and not much followup. The current First Strike matches this poke pattern perfectly (think Nami W, Sona E, Seraphine passive-empowered autos etc), allowing us to get an extra 15g per proc on top of our support item gold
On Nami specifically, we have an additional way to proc First Strike, since Nami E on allies actually procs First Strike! The best part of this interaction is that ur ally can be hit by enemies with ur E buff, but bc it wasn't you being hit directly, u will still retain the First Strike bonuses if ur ally hits enemies back with ur E buff despite being hit first! A common issue raised with this point is "what if my ADC is bad and doesn't use my E buff?" Don't worry, I got u covered too! So, whenever u empower an auto or ability that is still travelling middair towards the enemy, if u E urself or ur ally during said auto/ability, the slow and bonus dmg from E will still apply on impact. So, if u notice that ur ADC has cast an auto or ability onto the enemy, try to E them while this auto/ability is still travelling towards the enemy. Not only will this maximise E duration, give enemies minimal time to react to the slow and extra dmg, but it will also ensure that u proc First Strike due to E buff, as well as Manaflow Band and other item effects
This also works on ur own autos and abilities, and chaining abilities tgt like this will also help to cancel Nami's lengthy spell animation for more efficient trade patterns, hence better First Strike usage. Since W is our most consistent poke ability, we ideally want to start with this ability when trying to proc First Strike. This differs slightly from the regular Aery setup where we want to auto -> E ourself while our auto is still middair travelling towards enemy -> W enemy -> bubble/ult or let the bounceback heal retaliate enemy dmg. Instead, we want to W -> E ourselves while W is still middair travelling towards the enemy -> auto -> disengage with bounceback heal or bubble/ult. Additional tip: If you hover over Nami's W, you may notice multiple rings. The outer ring indicates Nami's W range when self-cast, meaning that the ability has a slightly longer range when you cast it on yourself bouncing towards an enemy (25 more range) rather than casting it on an ally to bounce or straight onto an enemy. So if u ever need to W urself first, or need just a bit of extra range, make sure to utilise this. To execute this most effectively, I recommend using alt+W for self-cast
I'm able to come out of lane with 300-400 gold fairly consistently. Pair this with free boots or Cash Back, and u can essentially double this amount of gold. Since enchanters tend to be quite item-reliant, having this extra gold generation allows us to reach our item spikes a lot faster, further increasing the snowball potential
Additionally, supports are actually able to utilise the new Jack of All Trades rune surprisingly well. Our support item alone already covers 3 of the 10 stats required. Here are the list of stats that we will generally be able to obtain on supports: - AP - HP - Health Regen - Mana Regen - Haste - Movespeed - %Movespeed - Heal/Shield Power - Armor - Magic Resist - Mana (?) - Magic Pen (?)
In order to get these stats, we will need our support item which gives HP, health regen, and mana regen. Most items will cover the haste component. Boots for the movespeed stat. Ardent will give us the %movespeed as well as heal/shield power. But if we don't need Ardent, then we can split this into any other heal/shield power item + Shurelya's. Armor + magic resist can be optained from Locket or Wardstone. Alternatively, if we don't need armor + magic resist, we can instead trade these stats for magic pen + mana instead (will also explain this in further detail below)
As you can see, the items required for Jack are situational items. It is important to identify during champ select if said items, particularly Ardent/Shurelya's + Locket/Wardstone, will be built for this game. Altho, these items will be applicable in most situations anyway
If u don't need these items for that particular game, or if u don't feel like u'll be able to reach all these stats for whatever reason, then Cosmic Insight is always a great staple. Lower summ cds for lower Flash and Heal cds, notoriously long-cd spells, as well as item haste. Item haste works on non-active item cds such as Dream MakeCelestial/Solstice/Zaz'Zak's cds, Mandate mark cds, as well as lowering trinket cd etc.

ITEMS

TLDR (for this section): - Skip paragraphs to see builds under their respective subheadings below - Each individual dot point reperesents an item slot
Alright, now that all the theory work is out of the way, we can finally move onto the specific build (what everyone is here for). There are two main builds to go about this. Each individual dot point reperesents an item slot:

Defensive Build

• Support Item (upgrade does not matter, as long as u have the base support item)
• Mandate
• Lucidity boots
• Shurelya's + SoFW/Mikael's/Redemption/Dawncore OR Ardent + Mejai's/Morello/situational (buy Dark Seal on first recall if u plan on getting Ardent)
• Locket/Wardstone

This build is run in situations where u need the defensive stats from Locket or Wardstone vs harder comps or matchups, with Locket being particularly good vs AoE and/or burst dmg. This build will also cover all the stats from Jack of All Trades (see list from previous section)
Ardent is the most efficient item for Jack due to it providing mana regen, heal/shield power, and %movespeed, all in one item. This will free up an extra item slot where we can buy a situational item, like antiheal, or if it's not needed then Dark Seal into Mejai's is always a great alternative for cheap AP (Nami has good AP ratios), or any other alternative item that u may need. Just make sure to buy Ardent before this situational item in order to max out Jack
However, it may not always be an Ardent game. In situations where it isn't an Ardent game (non-autoattack-reliant comps), u will need to split the %movespeed and heal/shield power stats into 2 separate items. Typically, Shurelya's + any other Forbidden Idol item will cover this. You can also go for any other item that gives %movespeed, but I find Shurelya's the most consistent. The main downside is ofc, the build being quite rigid if u go for this option (no room for antiheal or other situational items)

AP Build

• Support Item (upgrade does not matter, as long as u have the base support item)
• Mandate
• Sorc Shoes
• Archangel's (buy Tear on first recall preferrably, or second recall latest)
• Shurelya's + SoFW/Mikael's/Redemption/Dawncore OR Ardent + Mejai's/Morello/Horizon Focus/Cryptbloom/situational (buy Dark Seal on first recall if u plan on getting Ardent)

This is a more AP-focused build in situations where u don't need to be so defensive. We omitted the armor and magic resist from Locket/Wardstone for mana (Archangel's) and magic pen (Sorc Shoes). Nami E on allies uses her own magic pen, hence Sorc Shoes here

RUNES

TLDR:

• Inspiration: First Strike, Magical FootweaCash Back, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Manaflow + Transcendence/Absolute Focus/Celerity/Scorch/Gathering Storm OR Transcendence/Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP OR 8AH + 2%MS + Scaling HP

The more specifics to optimise ur runes to their respective builds:

Runes for Defensive Build

• Inspiration: First Strike, Cash Back, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Manaflow + Transcendence/Absolute Focus/Celerity/Scorch/Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP OR 8AH + 2%MS + Scaling HP

Omitted free boots for Cash Back. Since this is for the defensive build, we will need to rush Lucidity boots vs hard matchups. Not only are Lucidity boots a cheaper option so it gives a faster spike in movespeed vs skillshot-heavy lanes, the lower Flash cd will be good vs engage lanes. Jack vs Cosmic has been explained in previous sections
Manaflow + Transcendence is default. For in-depth explanation:
Manaflow is essential for defensive build. Only go Absolute Focus in situations where enemies lack poke, allowing u to maintain the HP threshold for the AP. Transcendence is a good default, when unsure u can always default to this due to Nami's long cds. Pair both these with double adaptive minor shards option. Celerity if u need the movespeed vs heavy-skillshot comps (pair this with the 2% movespeed minor shard option)
I personally don't recommend Scorch with the First Strike setup due to the scaling nature of this build. However, Scorch is typically good with early-game ADCs or matchups where u have early pressure. Scorch also barely adds any bonuses to First Strike, especially as the game progresses. Avoid Scorch if enemies have sustain, as they can easily outheal or outshield that bit of Scorch dmg. When unsure, or in any other situation, go Gathering Storm

Runes for AP Build

• Inspiration: First Strike, Magical Footwear, Biscuits, Jack of All Trades/Cosmic Insight
• Sorcery: Transcendence/Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm
• Double Adaptive + Scaling HP

Due to the more expensive nature and higher scaling potential of this build, go free boots so that u can focus on rushing items. Since we go Archangel's with this build, we won't need Manaflow. For maximum scaling, I recommend Absolute Focus + Gathering Storm (also the greediest option). Otherwise, Transcendence as explained prior

Core Mechanics of Nami W

TLDR (for this section): - More than 100AP -> subsequent bounces heal/dmg MORE - Less than 100AP -> subsequent bounces heal/dmg LESS
Smth absolutely crucial to these First Strike builds, as well as any other AP Nami builds, is understanding her W bounce mechanic. I often get asked why AP Nami, and it would be natural for some fishies to come forth and ask about this too, so I will just include this section here as well. For the fellow fishies who already about this, please feel free to skip this section
The reason why AP Nami is a thing is bc of the way her W scaling works to begin with. We unironically heal more with AP builds than enchanter builds. Allow me to explain:
Patch 14.6: 'The damage and healing value is modified by *-15% (+7.5% per 100AP)** each bounce.'*
Patch 14.7: 'The damage and healing value is modified by *-10% (+10% per 100AP)** each bounce.'*
Before I explain how to get crazy heal/dmg numbers on Nami's W bounces, I first need to explain her unique scaling on W. Unlike most other enchanters who benefit from heal/shield power, Nami's W has a unique scaling where subsequent bounces become weaker pre-100AP, and become stronger post-100AP. This threshold was at 200AP before the most recent changes on her, so they buffed it significantly by lowering the threshold down to only requiring 100AP instead of 200, making AP builds even more potent now in terms of healing and dmg. As such, Nami benefits more from stacking AP than heal/shield power
To give some perspective, previously if I had 200AP my W bounces would be equally as strong as each subsequent bounce. However, with these changes, with 200AP our W is now amped by 10%, and will continue amping by 10% for every 100AP. Getting 400AP on AP Nami builds is very doable with the right setup, buffing our subsequent bounces by 30% per bounce. This means our second bounce will be 30% stronger than the first, and our third bounce will be 60% stronger than the first bounce, which does not need further explaining as to why this is absolutely obnoxious when it comes to dmg and healing values
These changes also mean that a lot of Nami players will need to learn to prioritise their bounces according to what they need. Before, some enchanter builds struggled to reach the 200AP threshold, so we could just autopilot the first bounce without giving it much thought. Now, bounce prioritisation will actually become a prominent part of her kit
To explain how to alternate W effectively with an example, if my primary target (the one I want to dmg/heal the most) is A and my secondary target (less priority target) is B, then I will alternate my W bounces as follows:

• For most healing: W1 bounce to ally B -> W2 bounce to enemy -> W3 bounce to ally A for maximum healing
• For the most dmg: W1 bounce to enemy B -> W2 bounce to ally for heal -> W3 bounce to enemy A for the maximum dmg

And ofc, if u have Mandate then make sure to use E before W to ensure ur W bounces do even more dmg and proc Mandate c:

Final Words

Phew! That was probably one of my lengthiest explanations made into a single post to date! I really hope this helps out some fellow fishies. This build can be a bit difficult to grasp at first, and will take some time to learn and get used to. But always rmb that when unsure u can always go back to Aery as it will always remain the most consistent option overall
I'm also aware that First Strike is being nerfed next patch from 15g -> 10g. Personally, I think it could still be situationally good. Also, I apologise for any typos that may have been made, as the post was quite lengthy (so I may have missed some typos while proofreading)
This is also my first time making a post to this this degree of length and detail, so if there are any formatting errors or discomforts, please feel free to leave feedback below for me to improve on! For all the fishies that stayed til the end, I genuinely want to thank u and appreciate time and support 🥺🩷🩷
Hope this explains everything!
^{**Disclaimer:* In order to avoid unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings, please note that the above information serves as a recommendation and general guideline intended to explain the phenomena. It is based off of my own personal experience, as well as research of other players. Thus, said information is by no means perfect, nor is it a law that you must follow. You are entitled to your own preferences, playstyles, and opinions, which may differ from mine* ®}

Are you an Uber driver looking to gain more independence and control over your earnings? With the IDN Network app, you can transition away from Uber, set your own rates, and build your own client base. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you make the switch.

Step 1: Download the IDN Network App

1. **Visit the App Store or Google Play:** Search for "IDN Network" and download the app.
   
2. **Create an Account:** Sign up with Google or Apple.
   

Step 2: Set Up Your Profile

1. **Complete Your Profile:** Add a professional photo, a brief bio, and your vehicle details.
   
2. **Set Your Rates:** Determine and set your own rates for rides.
   
3. **Define Your Availability:** Specify your working hours.
   
4. **Complete a test booking with yourself:** Book yourself on IDN Public to understand how all works.
   

Step 3: Inform Your Uber Clients

1. **Communicate with Your Clients:** Let your regular Uber clients know about your new service. Explain the benefits, such as personalized service and potentially lower costs.
   
2. **Provide Instructions:** Guide them on how to download and use the IDN Public app (free) or IDN Private app (paid). You choose to what client app you want to send quotes to.
   

Step 4: Manage Your Bookings

1. **Receive Bookings:** Clients can book rides directly with you through the IDN Network app.
   
2. **Accept or Decline Rides:** Manage your bookings efficiently, accepting or declining rides based on your availability.
   

Step 5: Build Your Client Base

1. **Promote Your Service:** Use social media, business cards, and word-of-mouth to spread the word about your new independent driving service.
   
2. **Maintain Quality Service:** Ensure a high standard of service to encourage repeat business and referrals.
   

Step 6: Enjoy the Benefits

1. **Keep 100% of Your Earnings:** By avoiding Uber’s high commission fees, you retain all of your earnings.
   
2. **Greater Flexibility:** Work on your own terms, with the freedom to choose your working hours and rates.
   
3. **Enhanced Control:** Build and manage your own client base, fostering loyalty and repeat business.
   

Additional Tips:

• **Stay Connected:** Join the IDN Network’s official Telegram group to stay updated on new features and developments. https://t.me/IDNNetworkEN
  
• **Seek Support:** Use the WhatsApp Support Channel within the IDN app for any guidance or issues.
  
• **Maximize Visibility:** Ensure your profile is detailed and professional to attract more clients.
  

Conclusion

Transitioning from Uber to an independent driving service with the IDN Network app empowers you to take control of your driving career. Follow these steps to gain independence, set your own rates, and build a loyal client base. Download the IDN Network app today and start your journey towards true driver independence!

My brother (17M) and me (F)(I won't disclose age but will say I'm younger than him) Hate each other. this is relevant, in the future. My mother loves my brother and spoils him rotten, he's very entitled and on top of that. Hes gotten the cops called on him 6 times by my parents, Broke multiple walls and doors, and has threatened multiple times to murder my dad. I'm my dad's favorite, but that's not a good thing. He always guilt trips me and expects me to do everything bc I always used to fall for the guilt trips. Anyways getting onto the story, my brother is having like 10 people over and I'm forced out of the house. My mom says we will go to my aunt's apartment and wait there. I say, specifically: "I will not stay the night at my aunt's. I want to sleep at home." Word for word. My mom agrees to this, and we go to my aunt's. We go and get dinner and watch a movie, and I say I want to go home and sleep. my mom says no, and that we r staying the night. I get mildly angered but keep it under control and tell her I will call my dad and sort this out. my dad is willing but then my mom immediately, after hearing this, starts yelling at me for calling my dad. I just stand in shock, how could she yell at me? What did I do? I tell her as calm as I can, I don't want to sleep here and want to go home. she flips the fuck out and calls my dad. my dad, who initially agreed to taking me home, now yelled at me for the fact I even tried to go home. My mom now is yelling at me, as I type this. Why can't I do something for my brother, I don't get it. He slammed the door of MY ROOM when me and my friend were hanging out bc he said, word for word: "You need to stay away from me." LIKE IM SORRY WHAT?! I did nothing to him, I don't get it I want to go home. I just want to sleep in my bed, I'll close the door! why can't I go home? Reddit, pls give me a opion, I don't know what to think. AITAH?

Hi everyone. I am not sure this is the right community to post this but I cannot think of anything else right now so here it goes.
I moved to Mumbai last July for my job as a banker in a public sector bank and I share a flat with a colleague (works in a different branch of the same bank)
Now the thing is this flatmate (25F) has always been very quiet and initially it felt that maybe she’s just an introvert, hence she keeps to herself mostly doesn’t talk much. We had problems getting along since the beginning because she does things at a slow pace, is forgetful (sometimes when i come home after work, I see the windows open and the lights on), is messy (we share a bathroom and she leaves a bunch of her hair in the drain after every hairwash day and its gross to see that). Basically she’s the youngest in her house and always had her father or brother to do shit for her.
I, on the other hand, come from a family where things weren’t handed to me on a platter and have had a upbringing with the mindset of “getting things done asap” (which def has made me an anxious person)
Anyway, we have always had issues adjusting because I have always had a problem with her just doing things without communicating with me. Example: my room has ac but it didn’t work and when summers started I thought I will only get it serviced after talking to her, and getting her opinion on how she wants to spend summers because one ac is in my room and other is in the hall so i thought maybe we could sleep in the hall together and that would help with the electricity bill also. She was out of town so I spent a few days without the ac because i wanted to talk to her before getting it serviced. But once she was back, she straight up told me how she had already asked the owner for installing another ac in her room without even mentioning it to me because now ofc there would be an increase in the electricity bill. Again, i let it go thinking that maybe she wanted privacy and that’s okay.
But, when the ac was installed in her room thats when she told me to split the installation cost and the ac rent for the ac in her room. For a week she didn’t tell me anything about the cost involved in installing the ac and the ac rent. It wasn’t even my decision to install the ac and neither was I informed that I will have to pay for the ac in her room. (Ac in my room came with the flat so no charges are there for that)
Her behaviour is very strange. At the slightest of arguments or disagreements she starts this silent war where she stops communicating at all and I keep wondering what I have done wrong to deserve this. Yes, clashes happen when you live with someone but i don’t understand this behaviour of putting up a wall and acting as if there is no one else living in the same place. Whenever this has happened, i am the one who initiates conversation after that all the time.
Two weeks ago, i heard her bitching about me to someone on the phone and i was obviously hurt but I don’t keep things to myself and pretend that everything is okay when its not so i told her that I could hear her talking about me. To which, she said “next time if you have a problem with my voice disturbing you please knock on the door.” I mean, i was hurt because of what she was saying and not because i had a problem with her volume.
I was fed up of this and hence decided to send her a text asking her to please not act this way and she confronted me about that text. In that conversation i told her i felt hurt about what she said and she said “I am not responsible for your feelings “ and told that she doesn’t like to justify her actions when i brought up the ac topic. I can’t tell you how much it hurt to hear that from someone who you consider an almost friend and who’s been your flatmate for almost a year. Yes we are different people but imo this was a low blow even when she was in the wrong.
Silent war after this has been going on for over two weeks now and honestly i am so so so tired and anxious all the time. I look for ways to not come to the flat. Lease is ending this month, i will move out but my god this has taken such a toll on my mental health. I just keep crying thinking that it went to this extent because I don’t realise what i have done wrong to deserve this behaviour. I dont even know how can someone be so cruel say words like these, bhai mere ex ne bhi ye sab nahi bola kabhi!!
Anyway, please tell how to adjust for the next month because my god everyday i wake up with anxiety and feeling weird about my living situation and there is this weird aura around all the time. Please help.

Hey everyone!
If you're thinking about diving into the world of expired domains to boost your SEO, you're in for a treat. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you make the most out of this strategy and get those rankings soaring! In the past 2 years I have bought over 200 expired domains and turned my side hustle into a full time job. Here is what I learned.

1. Discover the Domain's Potential: Start by using SEO tools like AHREFs, MOZ, or SEMrush to analyze your expired domain. Look for the best-ranking pages and evaluate the strength of the backlinks.
2. Time Travel with Wayback Machine: Visit the Wayback Machine to see how the old site looked. This gives you a detailed blueprint of its previous structure and content.
3. Rebuild with Better Content: Recreate the site using the insights from the Wayback Machine. Aim for similar but superior content targeting the same keywords and topics. Maintain the successful URLs to leverage the existing backlinks.
4. Expand Your Content: Add more pages related to the topics that previously performed well. The more quality content, the better your chances of ranking.
5. Supercharge Your SEO: Install an SEO plugin like Rank Math or Yoast on your WordPress site. These tools are crucial for optimizing your site effectively.
6. Submit Your Sitemap: Submit your sitemap to Bing and Google Webmaster Console to ensure your site gets indexed quickly.
7. Monitor and Optimize: Give it some time and monitor your site's performance. Use SEO tools to track keyword rankings and traffic.
8. Link Building Strategy: Create valuable content related to your main site and link back to it. This helps pass link juice and boosts the authority of both sites.
9. Focus on Quality Content: Always prioritize helpful, high-quality content. This approach can save you months of link building and help you rank faster.
10. Double Your Assets: With two interconnected websites, you double your SEO power and potential for profit.

This strategy, when done right, can save you tons of time and effort, giving you a significant SEO boost. It’s a fantastic way to make the most out of your investment in expired domains. Go for it and watch your SEO game reach new heights!
Happy optimizing!

I am writing this on my phone so apologies for any mistakes. Now some relevant background: My sister (19f) and I (22f) live at home with our mom. While we are both in college I live at home year round with our mom and she lives in a dorm and only comes home for holidays, breaks, and summers. My mom works from home and has a high stress job, when she doesn’t want to work she does busywork around the house like cleaning. This happens often. I do help out around the house of course I clean up after myself (obviously), do my own laundry, I am in charge of all changing and scooping of the cat litter in the house except the one in my moms room but I often do it for her because I’m already doing the rest. My mom doesn’t like doing dishes so I do those as well most of the time. Overall we keep the house pretty clean and neat (I like everything organized). This is all relevant because my sister doesn’t care if things are kept clean. And the only chores that are really expected of her are to pick up after herself and tend to the garden when she’s in town. She doesn’t do the first for the most part and the second she does when she feels like it. For example her room is a mess I’ve gone looking for my clothes in there after she left for her dorm and found molded food, dirty clothes everywhere, dirty pads, and more. Usually she is able to regulate this to her room tho so I don’t have an issue, but she is back for the summer and it’s becoming unbearable for me.
This is where I may be the asshole, this morning she came into borrow some clothes from my closet I asked her THREE times to close the closet and she did not. This annoyed me, I brought it up later but she brushed it off with a laugh after saying “oh yeah I did do that oops”, later we went on a coffee run she spilled in my car it wasn’t super bad so I had her wipe it up and when we got home I went got wet wipes to clean it up with any sticky areas and found a half eaten apple in my side car door she had left. I always ask her to not leave trash in my car so again I was annoyed but when I told her about it she just threw it against the fence and went inside. Now I’m starting to get more than annoyed. Then this evening we were watching a movie my sister left half way through the movie and went to bed. I came upstairs to find a crumpled plastic bag next to the trash can my sister brought upstairs (because I asked her the day before) that she didn’t put in the trash can a used pad stuck to the bottom of the trash can, her dirty clothes on the floor of the bathroom and the hallway, a half empty sports drink on the bathroom counter and the door to my bedroom open (I keep it closed for reasons I won’t get into). I. Lost. It. I slammed open her door and started yelling at her about how she might live in a dump at her dorm but this is a common space and I’m done picking up after her. I didn’t curse but I was loud and pretty harsh. She got up without a word picked up the used pad wrapped it with toilet paper put it in the bag and the bag in the trash can grabbed her clothes and went back into her room. Now I can hear her crying in her room and I’m feeling guilty. I have already apologized for yelling but I feel like I took it to far. I shouldn’t have yelled, but in the moment my anger felt justified. Am I the Asshole?

My brother R has a heart of gold, sometimes to his own detriment. A month ago, he started getting strange handwritten letters in the mail. Most of it was gibberish, but the stalker said they wanted to touch R, be his friend, and warned him not to tell anyone.
Then, brand new gifts began appearing on R’s lawn. He called the police, who took the letters, the gifts, and made a report. The cops were dismissive calling the stalker 'a friendly neighbor.'
Now the letters have escalated. The stalker knows R spoke with the police, probably saw the cop cars, and is upset about it. The stalker says they want to live and die with R. They claim they bought side by side cemetery plots for them both. They say they’re going to come to R’s house on a specific date very soon.
We identified the stalker. R has never met them before, but we dug around. (They signed the letters with their real name & address, but they happen to share the same first, middle, and last name as a famous serial killer from the same area so it was difficult to find more information about them online). They have a long history of stalking. R’s neighbor is giving money to the stalker.
R doesn’t want them to get in trouble, but I’ve convinced him to get the restraining order. I’ve filled out all the paperwork for the petition, but I’m having trouble getting a response from the court. It’s completely insane. My brother doesn’t deserve this.

Sorry for the very long post but I would appreciate it if you read it all the way through.
Hey, when I was 8 years old I was diagnosed with auditory dyslexia. To my knowledge now this is considered a separate learning disability called auditory processing disorder? But I do believe if I were rediagnosed today that I would be diagnosed with both dyslexia and APD since I have symptoms of both disorders and it’s very common to have both, but the APD has been more severe and debilitating. At the time of my diagnosis I was in 2nd grade and couldn’t even read 3 letter words. I was living with my mentally ill mother who wouldn’t always take me to school and it was also an environment where academic progression was very difficult. Without trauma dumping or getting in more detail, it got to the point where CPS got involved, so I started living with my godfather, which was a better environment for me to learn. I got diagnosed, so I started speech therapy, after school tutoring and special Ed classes at my school. My school was a choice/charter K-8 school where applicants were randomly chosen to get in. This school would teach up to 3 grades in advance, focus on STEM, and used new experimental teaching methods. Overall it was expected of you to preform above average and we would always perform above average on standardized tests for our school average. I think this is what spawned my inferiority complex/intelligence insecurity. I was around all these kids that were so gifted and I was among the select few that had to attend special Ed, it was so humiliating. I even remember being bullied about it on a few occasions. Fast forward to 5th grade my tutor referred me to get reevaluated at a learning center because of my high performance. After all the testing it was revealed I had a 128 IQ and an 11th grade reading comprehension level and I scored grades above average in every subject. It was such a relief since it meant I didn’t have to do special Ed or tutoring anymore which I found so humiliating. Even after I didn’t have to do any of those programs anymore I still was offered a personalized paraprofessional or extra time on tests which I always refused because I just wanted to be treated the same as everyone else. I never was able to get good grades but I always did exceptionally well on standardized tests. Even when I was in high school. A time where I was addicted to drugs (high 90% of the time ) and failed most my classes I still scored exceptionally well on all my standardized tests besides my ACT, which I scored 1 point below average. Deep down I know I’m not stupid, but i am slow, if that makes sense. For example I loose my place when I’m reading constantly, and have to reread the same sentence up to half a dozen times to understand what it means, which takes a lot of time. Since the ACT is a timed test I think that’s why I didn’t do as well on it. I could’ve probably got extra time on it due to my disability, but do to my insecurity I didn’t want to do that. Anyways to this day I have horrible spelling/grammer, have to proof read everything I type and edit it, even simple texts because it’s always riddled with mistakes. I probably proof read this post 2 dozen times since it’s so long. The symptoms more associated with APD are: stuttering, always mishearing people so my response to them doesn’t make sense, talking very slow and having to think about every word I say, misspeaking, and overall my vocabulary is so bad unless I take the time and effort to think about everything, which is only possible when typing, so when I speak I sound stupid. Anyways all of the listed things i mentioned plus general mistakes I make, make me feel like a dumbass, and it’s hard to feel otherwise. It’s like I cognitively know I’m not stupid but deep down in my heart that’s how I feel. Anyways I’m just wondering how many other people with dyslexia have delt with this same/similar issue? Is there any advice or words that you could give me to help me get over this? Thank you for reading this very long post!❤️

Chapter Eleven: Delvers of ill repute.
Over the next week Sebastian came to visit a few times while I worked. Him and Katyogel talked a lot together, and of course Felix was right there getting scritches. I'd spawned a copper node just outside of my cave entrance, two patches of mushrooms that by description seemed to be for some form of alchemy, and a large patch of Blackberries that I wanted just because Sebastian had mentioned in passing that he liked Blackberries but they were hard to find. In my first cave I spawned another copper node, and then moved on to my second cave. In here, I decided to spawn 2 Iron nodes, and a lichen patch. I was still struggling a little for mana, so it took me a while to manage to spawn the resource nodes.
About eleven days after the inspector had visited, my attention was grabbed by two delvers that had entered my domain. They were filthy, had poor armor and weapons, but were at least level 8. They really looked more like bandits than delvers. I sent Katyogel down to talk with them, and before she could even land, they had killed her with a fireball. That's when I heard their plans for me. The shorter one, who looked like a sneak thief or piss poor mage looked to his taller companion that was like a swordsman but no warrior. “The dungeon knows we are here now, hurry, we need to destroy it's spawners and minions, and then kill the core. We can sell it and be rich!” The other delvebandit just grunted, and they moved towards my cave.
Destroy my spawners? Kill me? No. No. NO! I sent every minion after them. If it's me or them, it's gonna be them. My minions poured out of my cave. Owls swooped down, scratching and clawing at them. Spiders and crickets stabbed and bit, my scions leaped and fought. My snakes bit and squeezed and coiled. My mountain cats leaped and fought with tooth and claw, spells were cast to no effect against them by Felix, he was too low a level. First Katyogel had fallen, and now I watched as one after another, my other scions died as well. All I had left was my slimes, and they would be no match either. They entered my cave. Attacked and destroyed my spawners. Went deeper. Destroyed my slime spawner and my slimes, and then they entered my third cave. At the back. A single slime had made an illusion of my core in a divot in the wall. They rushed forward, and killed my slime, and the illusion vanished.
The short one looked around in confusion. “Where's the core? It's gotta be here!” Swordman looked around and shrugged. The short one suddenly stopped. “Do you feel that Packy? The dungeon. Can you feel it's anger?” Swordsman guy just shrugged. “Nope, you know I'm a deader. I can't feel anything.” The little guy looked up at his friend. “We have to find the core and kill it! We have to! I didn't pay that dungeoneers guild stooge for nothing. He said this was a baby dungeon so this should be easy! We need that core!”
I glared at them. I had no minions left. They had murdered my spawners and scions except for the spawner in the Oak. However.... They were not leaving here alive. All their fighting of my minions and Scions had given me a lot of mana back from each of their deaths. Enough to do what was needed. I reached out to the roof of the cave they were in, and collapsed it down onto them. The massive burst of mana their death gave me was no sinecure. They had murdered my scions and their spawners. They had murdered my friends. I was angry. This would not happen again. I spent all my mana upgrading Katyogel and her spawner. She was now level 10. Two days later a familiar set of feet stepped into my domain, and stopped dead in her tracks as she felt my rage fall on her. A now much more powerful Katyogel flew down, landing in front of inspector Ingrid, and hissed, fluffing her feathers out and flapping her wings at the Inspector.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Inspector Ingrid Emberhart
As I stepped into the clearing, I felt the dungeons attention turn to me, burning with rage. I froze. This was not the same dungeon as before, what has happened? An Owl Scion swooped down, landing, and displaying aggressively. It was strong. Very strong. It stood there Flapping it's wings and puffing out. No, this isn't right. The dungeon was friendly before. What is going on? Stepping back. I looked at it. It wasn't attacking, it was warning me off. But why was the dungeon so angry?
“Scion? What is wrong? Why are you so angry and hostile? What has happened?”
My Scion screeched at her “BETRAYER! Two murderers came, saying they paid a man from YOUR guild for my location! They killed my scions. Destroyed my spawners, and planned to kill and sell me! YOUR GUILD BETRAYED US! Leave now or die as they did!” With that my Scion launched herself into the air and began drawing in all the air around her, gathering a storm of pure rage aimed squarely at the Inspector. A flash of fear crossed the Inspectors face.
Inspector Ingrid stood her ground, though I could see she was shocked and disturbed. “I didn't betray you. Nor would I. If what you say is true, then there are only three people it could have been that sold your location.” I saw her own anger rise. “They have betrayed you, me, and their duty as members of the dungeoneers guild. We have a penalty for that. Life in prison at hard labor.” She then looked up to Katyogel. “I will leave and deal with this, but I will be back, and I hope that you will see fit to talk with me. I am not your enemy, nor the one who caused you harm. I hope you will remember that.”
Katyogel screeched at full volume. Shaking the leaves from the trees. “LEAVE OR DIE!” Then before the Inspector could respond, Katyogel cast her spell. “Windblade!” And the trees above the Inspector were cut like a hot knife through butter. The inspector turned, and left. I saw a tear fall from her eye as she did so. Why was I so bothered by that?
Rage churned and boiled within me. I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't protect them. I had to be stronger. Fiercer. Deadlier. I would kill and sate my rage with their blood. With those thoughts. I upgraded my core again. I was now level four. My core the size of an apple. Mana flowed into me at a greater rate. I upgraded Katyogel until I was nearly starved for mana. She had to be stronger. Deadlier. She was now level thirteen. She was a storm mage. She would become my vengeance. I dumped everything I had into her. I also created one new spawner. A mole spawner. I upgraded it to level two, and when my first mole spawned it was about the size of a chicken. I directed it to start digging a long, deep tunnel into my hill. I would move my core to a place nobody could reach, and then. Then I would grow. I would kill anything that stepped foot in my domain. They would all die!
First / Previous / Next

Sorry for the late post guys! I forgot what day it was, but don't worry, Engineers! I'm here to announce the winners in the May design contest! It's been one year since the game dropped, and you guys don't disappoint when it comes to make unique ways to celebrate! I wasn't sure what I'd get with such a prompt, but I'm impressed. First place is osh-kosh-ganache's Celebrate at Hudson's Waterski Rentals! It is amazing! You have high speed, and you even have a wake to add to the feeling of high speed. Most impressive! Second place goes to Ultrababouin and their To Celebrate TOTK's anniversary, I made festive missiles. I love how many different versions of the missiles you made. So many ways to celebrate by destroying bokoblins! Tony Stark would like a word, I think. Third place was taken by ReelDeadOne and their Happy 1-Year TOK! You can't do this in Baldur's Gate! I have not idea how you did it, but that is an amazing video! Very Disney intro energy! I love it! Enjoy your new flairs, and it looks like I might have to change how I do the flairs soon!
With old business done, it is time to announce the design prompt for [JUN24]! It is our 13th contest, and I can't believe that the design contests had their one month birthday! For this month, I decided to do an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. Everyone has their favorite movies, tv shows, and other media! And with every game that allows building things, people want to build things that are references to their favorite things. So this month I want to see your best [REFERENCES]! Show me your space ships, race cars, boats, planes, and monsters! Go out and make your fandom proud, Engineers!
Don't forget to put [JUN24] as the first word in the post title or it doesn't count! You can't adjust post titles once they are posted. Also, remember only green flared posts can enter, and to mark any speed edits in videos. Top 3 most upvoted posts get the win! The prize is a custom user flair! The winners will be announced on June 1st or the first Saturday of July! Keep building, Engineers!

Welcome to campusclubs! Having led a campus club for most of my college journey, I know firsthand how vital these such organizations are to the college experience. But let’s face it, being a campus leader can sometimes feel like navigating a maze alone. Not many friends understand the unique challenges, and it’s easy to lose sight of why we started in the first place. Even just being a member of a club and learning how to make the most out of it while balancing school work is a challenge of its own.
This is the space you’ve always wanted—or maybe didn’t even know you needed—to share your student-run club experiences. Whether you’re looking for tips, growth strategies, or fundraising ideas, this is your hub. I've heard of clubs growing to over 100 or even 1,000 members—how did they do it? And those who raised tens of thousands for their clubs—what’s their secret?
Plus, who doesn't love a good story? Share your funniest moments, horror stories, or the rewarding experiences that keep you going. If you have questions about managing a club or just need advice on interacting with members, you can relax now, you’re in the right place.
Whether you're a club leader, member, just curious, or whatever brings you here. The mic is yours. Let’s hear it!

Okay, loaded title, I know, but I'm just really lost right now, so let's start from the beginning...
I'm a first gen female brown student - I go to a pretty prestigious university on a full-ride as a Biochemistry major. First freshman semester was subpar - I knew I could do better, I got distracted with new friends and stuff, but all my classes were fine, except Gen Chem I; I got a D- (the lowest passing grade at my university) which plummeted my GPA to begin with. I took AP Chemistry in high school and exceled, however, that was at my tiny poor high school with 68 kids in my graduating class. I developed test anxiety since coming to college, something I never experienced in high school or ever in my life before. It's like I felt like I knew what I was doing but I just kept messing up and getting nervous, thinking about what other people are doing or thinking about the exam. Anyway, I ended first semester with a 2.46 - not my best work, but I honestly felt like I didn't do my best, I barely studied or even knew how to and I paid the price for that, clearly.
Second semester freshman year, all my time was consumed with Genetics; at my school, the recommended science courses for first & second semester were Gen Chem 1 and Gen Bio 1 then Gen Chem 2 and Genetics - the class kicked my ass. I actually put a lot of effort into the class and I still only got C's on the exams - after the curve & after endless hours of studying and tutoring. I ended the second semester with a 2.70 overall which allowed me to keep my scholarship - I need to maintain a 2.5 overall to have it. I started going to the counseling center this semester which I feel like helped me handle emotions better, but didn't really help in terms of academics. I wanted test accommodations for my test anxiety (I am not diagnosed nor trying to say I am, I simply wanted to be able to take tests in a less crowded space), however, I found out the Learning Support Services at my university can really only offer accommodations to people with diagnosed mental illnesses, meaning I would have to go to an outside therapist to get diagnosed - my counseling center guy wouldn't cut it.
Fast forward to a few days ago - I get an email saying I am on academic probation for my technical GPA which is a measly 1.97 - I need a 2.0 to get off of probation. It dips below 2.0 because of my Gen Chem 1 grade, which is why I decided to meet with my advisor - who hasn't really helped me thus far in my college career. The university recommends you take no more than 13-14 credits on probation and he said the same, however, I feel like I can handle it? I am planning to take my usual 18 credits next semester however, the only new science course I am taking would be Orgo 1. I'm taking Orgo 1 & Lab, ASL 1 & Lab, Intro to Medical Humanities, a required Writing course, and retaking Gen Chem 1. However, if I get an A in Gen Chem 1, that new grade wouldn't replace the other D-, they would only be averaged together. I was meant to take Physics this year too, but for my major and a Bio major, it's fine to take Physics junior year. My advisor wants me to drop Intro to Medical Humanities but I feel like it would be an easier class to take and although it wouldn't help my technical GPA, it would bring my cumulative GPA up.
Oh and by the way, I am also taking a Medical Terminology class this summer - it's worth 3 credits and seems to be an easy A.
That's my spiel - I am just really confused and scared and don't know what to do. I genuinely enjoy my university and what I'm learning I just feel like I've fallen too far behind and it takes me so much longer to learn material than it takes other people. Being a PA has been my goal and dream for years but I am beginning to think I am not cut out for this. I don't seem to know how to study or what study method works best for me. I am currently in the Honors college and I need a 3.33 within the next 3 semesters to stay in - meaning I essentially need all A's (at least that's what I'm aiming for) in all my classes fall and spring semester. I never failed an exam or got the grades I did now in high school and I just don't know what to do, I feel like no matter how hard I try, I still fail and I am just so scared of messing up and ruining everything. I have one shot to fix this and I need solid advice; tips for Orgo? tips on handling test anxiety & imposter syndrome? is it possible to pick myself up from this? I have a 2.58 with 37 credits.
No one in my life knows about this except for me - not my family, friends, or boyfriend. I feel embarrassed and ashamed and guilty. I just really need some advice on this, anything is appreciated. I really don't want to give up on myself but I can't get kicked out of university and lose everything.
I also forgot to mention that this summer I surprisingly earned myself a research mentor who I will be working with this summer and next year, fall and spring semesters. I am trying to figure out if Bio or Biochem is a better major for me but clearly I have to push that to the side right now and focus on my GPA as a whole.
Thank you guys.

Psychology awareness and faulting the AI
In this document i will go over and explain important information that i have found through test and trial over MANY years to help better tackle this “AI” with specific things to be aware of and the few ways to cause the V2K to fault. This will not cover the whole program nor will it cover other methods/technologies used by these programs. This will cover some basic knowledge needed to navigate life while dealing with this and the AI chatbot running within the “v2k”. To find information giving an overview of the programs that v2k operates within and other technologies used in tandem with it i will link below a detailed description.
This document is very time sensitive because this information is the only true way to bring the fight to these programs before the programs hit the civilian atmosphere large. There is no way to physically block this technology therefore you need to outthink the AI running it! Sounds easy right? Not really, it takes paying alot of attention and practice. Before getting into how to trick the artificial intelligence there are some things you need to be aware of.
Understanding the basics
Natural language processing (NLP)
The algorithms running these AI chatbots belong to a field of artificial intelligence called Natural Language Processing or NLP for short. Natural Language Processing is a field of AI that enables computers to understand, interpret, and generate human language. It powers applications like language translation, sentiment analysis, chatbots, and speech recognition. These chatbots operate on massive data banks that have been analyzing human thought patterns for years and since they have so much data then it is a fact that they have dealt with people similar to me, you and everyone around us.
Inner monologue
Before starting to practice tricking this AI you need to be familiar with a few things, firstly you need to have an understanding of what your inner monologue is. An inner monologue is the internal voice that narrates our thoughts, reflecting our feelings, ideas, and reactions without vocalizing them. It acts as a silent conversation within our mind, helping us process and organize our thoughts.
Biases
Second you need to be aware of your own biases and how you perceive things, everyone has different biases and perceptions and these algorithms take full advantage of it.
Emotions
The third point here is very important as it concerns emotions, emotions like anger, fear and sadness can trigger knee jerk reactions that can override logical thinking and this will be used as often as they deem necessary BECAUSE it overrides your rational thinking. IE : When gripped by anger you can lash out at someone or something that has nothing to do with your situation, when fear is present the v2k can promise safety in exchange for obedience, when sadness is overwhelming it will provide comfort to make you feel comfortable with it. All of these emotional states can be caused or amplified by the AI to gain an advantage over you.
These pointers should help you gain a small advantage in maintaining stability during these difficult times.
What is v2k?
V2K, or voice-to-skull technology, projects voices directly into your head, bypassing your ears. It can manifest as various personas, such as another individual in your life, the voice of God, an alien, or a fictional character. This technology can modify its voice and tone and intensity to enhance the perceived experience and better suit your situation. These same voices will oftentimes re read your inner monologue milliseconds after you think something to yourself in an effort to add confusion and convince you that it is your conscience. In simple terms : this is a voice in your head that is not yours.
Identify
Reading this you need to be aware that these methods will not work unless you acknowledge through these methods and KNOW that it is in fact not human but AI coded with algorithms, “just a computer program”, “0’s and 1’s”.
Faulting the AI/Algorithm
Method 1
The first method used to find the difference between the AI and a human operator is by finding keywords that it will use often and forcing it to repeat those keywords on purpose via “thinking it” so that it can copy your inner monologue but before finishing the whole word yourself you stop and it will finish it for you, this will be one indicator that it is not human. Finding keywords can be difficult at first if you’re not aware that they exist within the algorithm that runs the AI but once you start to pay attention to everything it says you will find that there are some words that it will use every-time if the conditions are met and ways to force these conditions. These conditions and keywords are unique to each individual so you will have to do your homework and pay attention to what yours are. These algorithms have a SET vocabulary. For instance just imagine you are thinking of doing something that the AI does not want you thinking about in some cases it will tell you “don’t even think about it” or variations of this and it will prompt you to think of something different. You also need to have some intention to perform this action you are thinking about or it will not trigger. for example, for some people it could be thinking of and wanting to engage in certain behaviors like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, being aggressive, talking to someone in specific that they don’t want you talking to among many things that it wants you to avoid. It will be clear that it doesn’t want you to do and think these things. This is just one of the ways to force it to use key words and phrases and will take plenty of paying attention. I suggest keeping track of the conversations by writing them down.
Method 2
The second of these methods consists of repeating certain letters or sounds with your inner monologue like “tttttttttt” or “mmmmmmmmm” and this will also trigger it to continue for a short period after you stop and allow you to acknowledge the AI as it re reads your inner monologue to you but your brain is quicker at stopping then the AI giving you about a second to acknowledge it. Using “shhhhhhh” is one of the better sounds as it will somehwat silence the v2k and give you a break on the chatbot rereading your thoughts.
Method 3
The third of these methods will require you to use rhetorical questions or questions with no real answer when in conversation with the AI, questions like : does a bear shit in the woods? What colour has the best personality? Theres are sarcastic in nature but can have multiple answers or no answers at all, this will cause the AI to stop speaking for a short period of time and likely cause it to throw a keyword or phrase at you OR an operator to take over because this is something that doesn’t make sense and is very difficult for an algorithm to make sense of something that doesn’t.
Method 4
Fourth method is input starvation. You need to think of “nothing”, no thoughts so nothing for the algorithm to react or answer to. The best way to do this is to force the thought of a black empty space in your mind. This is the easiest of all methods but requires the most attention and practice.
Putting these techniques together can make a big difference when dealing with the voice to skull BUT this is merely a fraction of what you need to pay attention to if you want to stand a chance at defeating this technology. Once you start to acknowledge that this is just an algorithm and not human through these methods you will begin to encounter human operators and here is yet another part that takes practice and will ultimately take up alot of time. Once you begin to fault this AI and acknowledge that it is in fact just an algorithm this will set off an “alarm” which on their end is like a notification telling them that you’ve broken through the algorithms and are starting to understand how things work.
Once you have mastered these things you will find yourself in much more control of your situation and life as this will help you realize that these technologies should have NO bearing on reality.
I will continue writing another document on how to deal with the human operators
Below i will link my first document outlining what my findings have produced about these programs and other technologies used within them, mind you there is missing information but it will help give you an idea.
https://www.reddit.comkeyword-exactly/s/dnvuQu64DX - my findings on v2k, directed energy weapons

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m LivinAmiracle. I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
*This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying the Big Book of Alcohol Anonymous page 45-46
We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word "God" brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, "Who, then, made all this?" There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.

The other day, I asked a gentle question (being kind is what neurodivergents do) (me being AuHD) and some neurotypicals thought it would be funny to make fun of my comment (I thought it was playful teasing), and then they started to bully me, so I used sarcasm to defend myself. Plus this was at near midnight my timezone. Guess what...... I got banned for being myself, and I also got banned because of joining with their playful teases, but once I knew they were bullying me (12 hours later during day and not midnight) and realized I was getting hurt, I put comments to say "stop it" (things like that). But a few minutes ago, from checking notifications, I got a spineless message from a spineless douchebag- like person saying "I am banned" but without giving me any explanations for why I am banned. 😢
They did not explain why I am banned, nor the community decided as a community how to solve problems. They function like NK and not like a democratic environment like that of a Sudbury Valley school. How do I message duolingo to ask them about the ban. I do not know if it is permanent, since I was not there to make the deicion. Why do people make decisions for other people without including the "concerned individual". 😢
Shouldn't group decision making involve everyone (voluntarily) to help make rules (or unmake rules) within a community where everyone can speak for themselves? 🤷‍♀️