Throbbing pain in my arm

I met him. We met twice. I did it. Once in december, then in march. He hates me talking to other men, so only my girls know.. It was the most beautiful experience I have ever lived. It was so natural, everything felt like I belonged. His clothes, his car, his scent. He is and was my home. If only union would last forever. We have guessed each other’s thoughts, we have cried in each other’s arms and asked each other for forgiveness. If only union would last forever.
It’s May now. And we are shattered. I have cried the whole day. I can’t reach out to anyone for comfort. It’s just me, myself and I. I’m so painfully loyal to his desires, it’s the way i show my love. I’m crying as I write this. Because I realise, it doesn’t matter how much I love him. I can’t save him from the lessons. He found yet another karmic person as soon as I returned to my country. One by one, another month another one, as I shatter more and more inside. Sometimes, I just wish I didn’t exist anymore. That’s the update.
I finally made it. I met him. And no, meeting him did not magically make him learn all the lessons. But yes, past Antonia. You met him. You did it. We did it. And you also found out why it had to be so late, and how you had to be another version of you, to be able to reach this point. Just as perhaps one day, you’ll be the version of you alined with divine union

What the title says :)
Went to change my g7 sensor this morning and noticed that the needle was completely bent. I had one more sensor left in my monthly supply besides the bent one so I used that one as it wasn’t damaged and figured I’d send a technical support request to replace the bent one. Figured I have 10 days with the new one so hopefully I’ll get a replacement before then and be fine. Nope, 7 hours after inserting that sensor, it straight up just fell off. I moved my arm to grab a blanket and as I did so I felt the pain of a needle and realized it was literally hanging off my skin. So now I have no sensors left.
Called Dexcom support and the wait time was 50 minutes so I’m waiting on a call back now. Just had to vent a bit.
However this is my first time ever needing to call for a replacement. Are they pretty good about replacing failed sensors?

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.

Do you do anything that helps your pain go away? Things I’m thinking of are cold exposure, massage chairs (like they have at Sharper Image) or Epsom salt baths? I’m interested in ideas for my son. He is in constant pain in his arms legs and belly.

A little of my story... It all started when I had rhabdomyolysis caused by physical exercise (weight training) two years ago, I was hospitalized for 5 days with CK 38k. Since my discharge, I noticed a lack of strength/a certain fatigue in my left arm, and that when I pushed too hard, I felt some pain in my biceps. The weakness improved over time, but it came back again, I notice it when I drive, my left arm can't stay in the steering wheel position all the time. But in addition to this weakness, I started with fasciculations on my index finger, I started researching and saw about a horrible disease, which many of you avoid saying the name of. Now fear takes over me, I have no energy for anything else, I'm super depressed thinking I have this damn disease. My spasms are only in the index finger, I can even feel them in other parts of the body, but it is much more difficult, I have an electroneuromyography scheduled for the 13th of next month. Send me a support message please!!!

UK based.
TLDR: ongoing symptoms of MS for the last 4 weeks but I have now been diagnosed with FND.
It all started 4 weeks ago when I felt extremely fatigued and light headed. I drove home after work at 5pm and suddenly I had lost all control of the movement in my arms. It was like a partial paralysis. An ambulance was called and they took me to the stroke unit where they did a CT scan of the brain and kept me in overnight. The use of my arms came back at around 10pm.
The next day, they carried out MRI scans on my brain and in my spine, all of which ruled out a stroke. They referred me for an urgent neurology appointment (which was 4 weeks later).
Since then, I have experience at least one or more of the following symptoms daily: - loss of control in my arms - loss of control in my right leg - stabbing pains in my thigh - extreme fatigue - vertigo and dizziness - numbness of the muscles in my face - tingling and cold sensations through my upper body - muscle spasms and tremors in my hand
These symptoms can last between 30mins to 6hours.
When I was younger, I had optic neuritis which lasted just over a week and the scan showed small lesions of MS. They had mentioned if I have other spells in the future that it would likely be diagnosed as MS. With this information and all the symptoms I have experienced we all assumed this would be the case. Every symptom I had is a symptom of MS, and in all honesty, I was waiting for the neurology appointment to confirm this.
Anyway, I had the appointment this morning and to my surprise he said the scans are clear and it is not MS (he was also an MS specialist). He told me that I have Functional Neurological Disorder. I was shown a web page that outlined this and not much further advice was able to be given in terms of how to manage my symptoms on a daily basis, particularly with work.
I am being sent for further bloods to check my vitamin levels and have a catch up appointment in a month’s time.
Having researched this throughout the day, I can see what a broad spectrum FND covers. Is it just a diagnosis they give when they don’t know what is wrong with the signals to your nervous system? Has anyone had a similar experience? Is it worth going private and getting a second opinion? Will the symptoms get better?

UK based.
TLDR: ongoing symptoms of MS for the last 4 weeks but I have now been diagnosed with FND.
It all started 4 weeks ago when I felt extremely fatigued and light headed. I drove home after work at 5pm and suddenly I had lost all control of the movement in my arms. It was like a partial paralysis. An ambulance was called and they took me to the stroke unit where they did a CT scan of the brain and kept me in overnight. The use of my arms came back at around 10pm.
The next day, they carried out MRI scans on my brain and in my spine, all of which ruled out a stroke. They referred me for an urgent neurology appointment (which was 4 weeks later).
Since then, I have experience at least one or more of the following symptoms daily: - loss of control in my arms - loss of control in my right leg - stabbing pains in my thigh - extreme fatigue - vertigo and dizziness - numbness of the muscles in my face - tingling and cold sensations through my upper body - muscle spasms and tremors in my hand
When I was younger, I had optic neuritis which lasted just over a week and the scan showed small lesions of MS. They had mentioned if I have other spells in the future that it would likely be diagnosed as MS. With this information and all the symptoms I have experienced we all assumed this would be the case. Every symptom I had is a symptom of MS, and in all honesty, I was waiting for the neurology appointment to confirm this.
Anyway, I had the appointment this morning and to my surprise he said the scans are clear and it is not MS (he was also an MS specialist). He told me that I have Functional Neurological Disorder. I was shown a web page that outlined this and not much further advice was able to be given in terms of how to manage my symptoms on a daily basis, particularly with work.
I am being sent for further bloods to check my vitamin levels and have a catch up appointment in a month’s time.
Having researched this throughout the day, I can see what a broad spectrum FND covers. Is it just a diagnosis they give when they don’t know what is wrong with the signals to your nervous system? Has anyone had a similar experience? Is it worth going private and getting a second opinion? Will the symptoms get better?

My dental hygienist did an injection to numb my lower teeth for a deep cleaning. Ever since then I've had a shooting pain in my chin. It happens maybe once per day but it's really annoying. At first I thought it was tooth sensitivity but I'm pretty sure it's this. The worst one happened where it shot from my chin and around my cheek up above my right eye. Sometimes I do also feel a dull throb or headache along with it.
Does this get better with time? Has anyone in a similar situation found any treatments that worked for them?

I’m not a first time bird owner, I owned two cockatiels back when I was 14, this was nearly 9 years ago.
I just recently got back into owning birds and my conures have been little pains in the beaks. They were biting us any chance they got.
So i started using confidence training and they have been getting better. What I do for this is hold up one of those perches that came with the cage, and hold a seed making them step, jump or fly for the seed. Having them step down and repeat.
I only do this for them for a few minutes at a time and always use baby voices “good girl” and “good boy”.
Even my scaredy cat conure enjoys doing this, i am hoping to get him jumping and flying soon with this technique as he is scared of flying.
Anyways, I made this post to say it has cured the aggression and they are not out right mean anymore. They now want to be close to use and enjoy being close to us. We just aren’t allowed to pet them yet and they do not like hands or arms yet.
If you are struggling with a semi-aggressive conure I would suggest confidence training as it has helped me! They also really enjoy it too!

Hi, is anyone here with this kind of pain post covid? Also, pain in arms muscles. Im on Cromolyn for GI problems post covid (burning mouth, throat, migraines) it helps amazingly, the only medicine that helps me, but doctors still dont know whether its MCAS that also causes my pain. Its been 4 yrs. They want to try biologics now, for possible arthritis, but Im scared like hell of side effects, I react to many medication (never anaphylaxis)

I’m 37. 22st male statins. Basildon hospital. I was working out in a garage for 6 months boxing lost 4 stone from24. I went to the garage to hit the punch bag felt drained 2 o’clock in the morning felt like I was having a heart attack. So went to the hospital for them to say it’s not which is great news but gave me naproxen but I was already taking statins for high cholesterol. 2nd day of taking them I had a really bad reaction. Hives all over face swollen lips. Felt very strange for months afterwards very weak. Throat would go tight and swell after eaten foods and drinks. I thought I was allergic to these. So would get test always come negative then I asked for a full allergies test 10 months ago I’ve been waiting for ten months I had it booked for next month on the 3rd only for the clinic to cancel my appointment that I’ve been desperately waiting for. I’m gutted they have just randomly cancelled. this is Basildon, and honestly I felt like it was keeping me going. 14 months of hell the doctors have been pretty poor to me I never ever go to the doctors until 14 months ago. I’ve had the ambulance out on a number of occasions I’ve been up the hospital during the nights because I’ve woken up with tight throat. It’s not strep negative it’s not cobble stone negative the believe it could be allergies they also believe it to be silent reflux had taken medication lanzopro can’t spell very well either lol but was making me unwell, I get blurry vision and was asked to get my eyes tested my eyes haven’t changed and are ok. Burning throat white mucus. Probably unrelated but also started 14months ago right shoulder pain right back of neck pain. Because I’ve been going through this for a long time you can imagine mental stress off my throat closing up and not being able to breathe properly. I’ve taken Antihistamine every day for 14 months I feel like they don’t help. I have had test for pots copd and asthma was all under long Covid testing but the only thing they found was a restriction on my left lung but don’t know what it is. I got referred to respiratory clinic FINALY after 14 months of begging then I got a letter to say it will be October. I’m very depressed on how things are going I’m not getting the correct help the doctors I’ve had to change because the lady wasn’t helping me so I made a complaint and refused to see her and the see the head nurse if that’s a thing she wasn’t much better I said I need test to see what these lumps are it could be a tumour or cancer she laughed at me. I put the phone down check my nhs app online for her to write. patient thinks he has cancer and he would benefit from counselling therapy and now I’m doing therapy second session honestly hand on my heart these gps have really made me feel like I’m going insane at times. Can’t find nothing wrong with me but I’m really unwell with all this. Blury eyes sore tight throat flare up. Itchy skin sometimes swollen tongue itchy skin after shower, hard to swallow at times back of tongue lumps swell red spots on tongue keep having white film over tongue white mucus over throat fatigued every day. Wake up during the night with tingling arms and shoulders. Was out in the sun the other day few hours my hands burned but felt tingling for days. Very dry hands almost like I was having a reaction from the sun. Im not a praying man but I’ve done a lot of praying this year. Any help suggestions would great be appreciated. I’m at the end with it all.

its only on the right side. slept whole night on my left arm in kind of a strange position i guess but why tf is this pain still not gone 12 hours after waking up??? it kinda hurts to breathe. tell me im not gonna die im a pussy
ok chatgpt tells me its probably Costochondritis 😀 ill be fine! i had it before but only for 10 minutes tops so its weird

23 male i dont drink or smoke or vape or anything and no medical conditions.
i have had 3 root canals done, 2 on upper jaw (second to last) and one at the lower (furthest back)
the upper molars were super old and were basically just a cup with the nerve exposed for the better part of 5 years.
I went to get a root canal for them got anaesthesia got the root removed, felt no pain just some presure and lite pricks. i then went to a different dentist to get the third root canal for the lower molar. got anaesthesia the dentist started to remove the black stuff then went to remove the root.
i felt the most horrible pain ive ever felt in my life, literally like that scene from 127h where the guy cut his arm's nerve with a dull knife i literally almost fainted.
is this normal? is the dentist bad? is it something with me? how to avoid this? and is a root canal painless?
because the old and basically rotted molars with the nerve exposed felt like nothing but the other felt unbearable.

What is the best way, or is it even advisable to create Netsuite invoices from an external system. We'd need the integration to appropriately bill the related sales order and keeps the Netsuite controls and processes in place. It needs to be linked to the Sales Order and appropriately run through ARM keeping Deferred Revenue, rev rec, and billing rules intact.
We sell professional services on Sales Orders, the sales order information is synced to Workfront where the Project Managers handle the project management. The PMs let AR know which items to invoice as they start working on the project. We have some items that are billed 100% when the project is started and some that are billed 50% at kickoff and 50% at go live. We also have Time and Materials billing (hourly) The billing is triggered by our Project Managers and our AR team thinks it is too cumbersome to use the UI to invoice services so they want to automate the process of billing the Sales Orders.
The thought was to create a custom object in Workfront that consolidated all the billings into an object that would mirror the invoice created in Netsuite. Then we would pass that information to Netsuite to create an invoice, and the details of the invoice (Date, Invoice #, Billed amount, would be written back to the custom Workfront object. Our Workfront Admin has created invoices that look the part, but the issue is that his created invoices are stand alone invoices and don't bill the Sales Order. The invoices must work within Netsuite the same way as one created via the UI would.
My thought was just to have AR bill the Sales Orders manually and place the Workfront billing ID into a custom field that the integration could use to pull invoice details back into Workfront. If a customer has a question about the billings the PM could just look up the billing record in Workfront and have all the details without involving Accounting.
Any pointers on how this could be accomplished, or is this a massive lift with a lot of nuances that will be a pain to configure and test. Just wondering if it is something we need an experienced consultant to help develop, or it is really is just pushing data in the right format to get it to do what we need. I am very hesitant to allow Workfront to create invoices automagically in Netsuite. It wouldn't take much to make the verification and cleanup take longer than just manually billing the Sales Orders.
Thoughts? Is it that hard or am I just tired and whiny....

I let a sinus infection get too bad thinking it was seasonal allergies about a month ago. I finished 10 days of amoxicillin 5/3.
My two toddlers started feeling bad last week, and both tested positive for the flue this past Friday 5/17. I had started to feel bad the day or so before.
Today I finally felt on the mend and throughout the day my severe congestion lessened, once it was almost completely gone my sinuses started feeling bruised, throbbing and swelling.
My eyes nose and sinuses in my upper and lower cheek area plus my teeth all hurt worse than any sinus infection I’ve ever had. It’s enough to make m6 eyes water an$ I’m not usually one to be a baby about pain.
I know sinus infections are rarely emergencies but does my recent infection plus the flu and now severe pain and throbbing warrant a visit?
I don’t want to take up a room if not necessary but I do want the pain to go away I’m not sure if I’ll make it through the night at this point.

Last year around july I started bowling played 1-2x a week about 3hrs. After 3rd week my right arm started to hurt. Felt like tennis elbow. So I stopped bowling. I took 2weeks off from pulling workouts but was still deadlifting and benching and triceps work. After laying off a couple weeks I still had painm mainly forearm and distal biceps. But didn't hurt enough for me to completely stop. I'd take advil from time to time and I'd try to rehab woth massage and chiropractor work. I went to see a ortho but kinda had a hard time explaining the pain. But he said it was biceps tendonitis.
I recently started doing much lighter dumbbell curls to start rehabbing. I started doing 10lbs supinated isolated curls then I would twist counter clockwise to reverse curl and that's when I really felt the pain and weakness. Mainly top forearm and distal biceps and some in the elbow.
Im just looking for some advise on rehab. Also should I go for a second opinion and get an mri?
TIA

Hey, everyone! I frequent this sub not as someone with a blood clot myself but because my mom has been dealing with an Upper Extremity DVT since October and we come here to see other’s experiences. She’s been on Eliquis since October but recently her arm swelling has peaked, as well as pain in her and arm shoulder - believed by her PCP to be caused from “frozen shoulder” since her fear has kept her from moving her arm. She also is a breast cancer survivor with no lymph nodes on that side so, we thought swelling was normal.
She went in for an ultrasound to check on the status and we just heard that it hasn’t dissolved at all. In fact, they called it a 4 cm mass and are wanting a CT given her cancer history.
Of course, we’re scared, frustrated, and confused. Any experience on Eliquis not working. If she has to have surgery to remove this, what was your experience with that?
Any comments are welcome and we’re grateful for your input.

Welp I did it! As of 830 am, I am sleeved!
I waa expected it to suck, but it's not too bad for the time being. Got a nerve block and 1 Morphine kinda shot in my spine. So far, it feels like a million sit ups. I Peed, walked 30 feet (was dizzy so need to pace myself), have kept down a few oral meds, ice cubes, sipping water, but and but am having BAD itchiness and they had to tie my arm down because I was rubbing my itchy eyes so much 😂 I'm riding the Benadryl train for the time being. I'm allergic to most pain meds so not sure about home, butttt I got my tylenol. Honestly, oher than soreness, it feels like nothing. Got my cpap on and watching poorly closed captioned movies. Oddly, not fullness cues yet, but i'm not on liquids liquids yet, so we shall see!
Shoutout to Dr. Courcoulas in Pittsburgh for being such a great surgeon and having such a great team! 💗
I am allergic to everything and a mess health wise and I made it out. Intubation was nothing, and I'm just hoarse, but getting Tylenol in an IV so I'm comfy (for now!)
I was calm as a cucumber until things picked up at 8 and was wisked away. I almost wanted to back out, but didn't. You CAN do this! I was sobbing and scared, but I got Haldol in my iv to relax during the spinal shots and no sooner did I lie down after did I wake up in PACU.
Thanks to everyone for their support, kindness, and positive words- I truly appreciate you all! Here's to the future. May we all live longer and more fulfilling lives with our new start!

Hi! I have some health issues (EDS) and my right shouldearm/hand is not in the best shape. I can hurt myself and dislocate, and i always have pain on the right side. I miss going in the woods with an atv or dirt bike, and i wonder if any kind of solution is avalaible? Like, it is possible to put all of the "controls" on the left handle? I suppose that an atv would be best for me, but i want to know it it is possible to modify it or buy a part or something to fix my problem before i commit to buy an atv (probably a small kawasaki). Thanks in advance for your input, and sorry for my bad english, i usually speak french.

20M 5’11 160lbs No medications or health conditions
Hello everyone! I’ve come on here to ask for my help for my situation. Doctors ents headache specialists neurologists and even just people who want to comment, I would really appreciate it if you shared your thoughts on what is going on and what course of action I should take. Basically the question is should I get surgery for the anatomical variants?( large right concha bullosa of middle turbinate and significant leftward deviated septum with a prominent bone spur on it). The concha bullosa is pretty big and hits both the septum and other side it’s not like a regular one. The deviated septum also hits the wall and blocks off the drainage pathways just like the concha bullosa.
Here is my symptoms: For about a year and half now I have had a constant fullness and pressure within my sinuses. It’s normally felt in my nose forehead and sometimes cheeks. It’s constant 24/7 from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. It’s sometimes painful and usually gets worse as the day goes on. When I bend down it definitely gets worse. It’s always there in my head to some degree and it never feels like my head is fully clear. I do have a bit of trouble when breathing through my nose but it’s nothing crazy but I can’t get a full, clear, and refreshing breath. What’s weird is that when I cry or something and my mucus starts draining the pressure goes away. Even when an ent did an endoscopy and started moving around the camera in my nasal cavity, the mucus started draining and my symptoms went away for a split second. Sometimes I notice that my ear feels full and that the pressure sensation even goes to my throat. The pain is dull constant doesn’t throb and isn’t sharp. I don’t have any auras, visual or sound disturbances etc. It doesn’t come in waves either. If there is any other symptoms you would like to know if I am having please ask.
Testing: MRI, ct scan, endoscopy, and blood tests normal except for the anatomical variants I listed above. No signs of infection or inflammation. Nothing indicating headaches and nothing wrong with brain. No lesions, bone destruction, etc. My ent did notice a build up of mucus though when doing the endoscopy. Did flounase 2x a day, Claritin 1x and nasal rinse 2x a day but no significant improvement. I was referred to neurology by my ent because he said nothing I had indicated the symptoms I am saying. At neurology, we ran a course of amitriptyline and did a magnesium + riboflavin supplement but those did not help or maybe helped VERY minimally. Hot showers feel nice sometimes and advil sometimes helps ease the pain(only to a limited extent) when it hurts a lot. I also talked to an allergist and he said it’s probably not allergies, and I got a skin prick test that came back negative for everything a while ago.
My thoughts: I personally believe that the anatomical variants are responsible for my symptoms. I think what’s happening is that they are trapping the mucus and air flow and obstructing the sinus drainage pathways which can cause that pressure/ fullness sensation and why my head doesn’t feel fully clear. There is nuance here though and this is why the ent and other people are hesitant to recommend surgery. Concha bullosa is a normal anatomical variant found in a significant portion of the population (maybe even up to 54%) and is mostly asymptomatic. Deviated septum is also fairly common and is not normally responsible for pressure feelings within sinuses. Furthermore, up to 90% of cases where people think they have sinus problems, are actually migraines according to some studies. But my case is different because I am well educated in the symptoms of migraines and what I am experiencing does not add up to that. Also my anatomical variants are not like the normal population, especially my concha bullosa because it is really large and the mucus drainage thing like with endoscopy points to the anatomical variants.
Plan: I really only have two courses of action left that I can think of. I either go back to neurology and run through more cycles of medications to see if it’s migraines and if that doesn’t work go back to ent and discuss surgery. Or I don’t waste time and go straight back to my ent and talk about surgery and stuff. If there is other options or something else I should look into, please let me know.
I would really appreciate it if you guys shared your thoughts and what you think is going on and what I should do going forward I am getting pretty desperate and I know surgery is a big step. If there is any other information or questions you have, I would be more than happy to tell you!

I'm laying on my couch with extreme neck and head pain, I kinda feel like I need answers at this point. Like this is my rock bottom.
A bit of history: I'm AFAB and 25 years old. As long as I can remember the joints in my legs have hurt. As a kid I was told it was growing pains, that I'd grow outta it. Never did, to this day I'll still experience it. It seems like the cold and being in uncomfortable positions brings it on. I can't sit criss cross for more than 5 minutes before the pain becomes too much. Kneeling is a nightmare if I'm not on something to cushion them. At some point it began in my arms as well. Shoulders, elbows, wrists, and fingers. I get pain from itching my head because of having to hold them up. In recent years my neck has started hurting and it'll give me an entire headache. Those are the worst. And when performing oral my jaw hurts very quickly (sorry for the TMI just trying to paint a picture of all I experienced). I'm at a point I gotta pop 1000mg of ibuprofen or acetaminophen to feel relief. Getting a job where I sit, proper footwear, and a high quality mattress have helped but I don't feel "cured." At one point around 18-19 I brought it up with my PCP and we did some blood tests. Everything came back normal and I didn't have the time, energy, or financial means to look into it further. Well now I have all of those things, but I still feel afraid? 2023 was the year of medical stuff for me and I was ready to be done with it. However now the pain has been flaring up again and I have to decide how I wanna proceed. I guess I just wanna know what to try, what to look out for, what I should be pushing for in doctor visits. Any practical advice would be appreciated.