For me it's hard to decide between Martin Scorsese (GoodFellas, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver) and Francis Ford Coppola (Godfather, Godfather Part II, Apocalypse Now), but I'd have to go with Coppola because what he achieved with these movies is on another level.
I suppose for a lot directors which movies their top 3 are isn't so clear, so state whatever you believe their top 3 to be in your post.

Last one for you gorgeous,
I’ve sat for the better half of 7 months on an absolute war path of mental self destruction. Trying to remember what exactly happened. I’ve apologized to you in several different ways you got the message in every way I could possibly give you.
It dawned on me today, I searched for forgiveness from you. In my heart I know you already have. So today, I forgave myself as well. I’m starting to give myself peace for everything in my life. The path of self deprecation and pity seem to have lifted. I am responsible for a lot of actions in my life, and hated myself for the ones out of my control. That ends now. Today marks a day of self deep soul searching that will continue for as long as I have air in my lungs
The quote from my favorite song after all these years hit me like a fucking truck “ I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live” I have it, the beginning of it, self love. I’m starting to see what I am capable of, writing music, writing to the void, engineering and problem solving, making art, repairing items beyond repair, even playing video games well. I’m starting to see me as a person capable of not just sadness, but love, empathy, compassion, drive, and ambition.
I reflected on our relationship, there were a lot of mistakes between the both of us. I tried so hard to not to use the cliche “everything happens for a reason” because I believe we were a kismatic event in time, because the gods smiled upon us and wanted our journey to happen. I see now things do happen for reasons. You gave me quite a few things, you showed me light in a sea of darkness, you showed me compassion and kindness when I was alone in my mind. Most of all you gave me my sobriety. I didn’t think I could crawl out of that. You leaving was both the best and worse feeling I’ve endured. I thank you that deeply from my soul. Freedom of thought. My mind is clear 224 days, I had to face all of my demons the ones I tried to drown for so MANY years to quite the voice, sooth the inner child that was so very much hurt. I smiled today, when these thoughts crossed my heart and mind. I felt the breeze and the sunshine today, it felt like the first time I’ve been able to do that honestly in a long time.
A spark in my drive and determination have really awakened today. I actually feel alive.
All of the words written into the void are still very valid as they came from points in time of my healing. I wish you the absolute best Mrs Quest, may your journey be filled with health and happiness.
Goodbye my love.

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

about a year ago me and my at the time boyfriend had unprotected sex. I’m (F19) and he’s (M18). We were both virgins before each other, very loyal, no oral or anything. After we had sex, 2 weeks later I felt a hard lump near the opening of my vagina. After touching around I somehow noticed a soft bump at the surface. Maybe a little bigger than a pea. At first it was painless, I tried squeezing and after that, it stung when i touched it. It stung when touched for days. I could pee, no clusters, no itchiness at all. But could this have been a sore? It went away with no scabbing. But why did the surface of the skin sting? A month later I got 3 small fluid filled blisters on my lip, and before it was itching and burning, but it lasted almost a full day and disappeared. does this seem like herpes? and then 2 months later cracks on my lips appeared leaking clear fluid? i’m trying to move on from him but this baggage of thinking i’m carrying a virus has put a damper on everything. somebody be entirely honest.

2003 nissan sentra se-r has a p0102 code. Code says "Mass or volume airflow sensor "A" circuit low". Its my kids car but its very difficult to get a straight answer from him. Anyways. He claims he replaced the sensor but as soon as you clear the code and start it back up the code comes back and doesnt.want to rev properly.
Like I said its hard to get a straight answer from the kid. I think he got the replacemtn sensor from a junk yard. Car has a KN filter not the stock one and also car has a few mods like the exhaust. I think he did somethinf tonthe throtle body too which required him to recalibrate. Car also looks like they might had messed around with some wiring and not very well done either. He says that after he replaced the sensor the car ran fine for a while.
Any ideas on how to proceed?

For context, I work in social media marketing. I have my own clients, but I also work as a freelancer with a larger agency. Late last year, they took on a local chain of clothing stores as a client, and I agreed to being the main social media coordinator, but other team members would do other aspects. The price had seemed very good at the time.
The store has proved to be very difficult to work with - they expect us to work all hours, including nights and weekends. They're not organised, and always send last minute requests or assets to post. The assets are often full of mistakes (typos which I point out to them, but also wrong images and prices etc that I wouldn't have info on) so while they rush me to post them ASAP, they then call after to delete them and replace as they have mistakes. This of course wastes my time. We also do content creation for them, and it takes days or weeks for them to approve work, due to their hierarchy with many supervisors to go through. The holiday season was a nightmare - they were calling me about every 30 mins and sending emails throughout the day and night!
The biggest headache of all is the store's main point of contact - she has a VERY abrasive personality, and it seems as though she enjoys being difficult and condescending. She nitpicks at everything we produce, constantly moves goalposts, gets into snappy moods, and it honestly seems as though we're pandering more to her personal preferences than what perform bests on social media. She's also very sarcastic in her speech, saying things like "It shouldn't be this hard for you to understand, you seem intelligent". There was a time where I pushed back on a video that I edited for them and she clearly didn't like it and became even more unpleasant for weeks, including ignoring my calls and messages and pointing out if I hadn't replied to messages and comments quickly enough on the stores' pages. Most of the time with the messages/comments, I was waiting on the store to provide the info to then share with the person asking. She complains that we don't do things fast enough, but then takes ages to send over information. It feels as though you just can't win.
I've brought up with the agency how difficult they are to work with, and while they agree, they've not tried to address it, or ask how we can make the process easier for all involved. I know that the store is one of the agency's biggest clients, and that I'd only be getting a fraction of what they're charging, so the agency owner is probably just overlooking it for the money. Some of the other team members have told me that she often doesn't enforce boundaries with other clients or listen to their complaints, and she personally works almost 24/7, so this may be just how she operates.
This month, I decided that I had enough, and I told the agency owner that I'm not continuing with this client, and that I'll finish over the next few weeks. She said she understood, but she then made it seem as though the problem is that I have too many responsibilities to be able to provide the support needed, and not that the client is just too much. I thought it best not to argue with her, because she's always makes comments about how I'm too "sensitive" or "defensive", especially when I'm trying to address a client issue with her. Both she and the store contact woman are older than me, and it seems like they both dismiss me because of the age difference, which feels disrespectful.
So I'm just riding out the next few weeks, but unfortunately it seems as though the store contact has decided to make them as difficult as possible. She's been ultra picky and vocal about everything this past week, and with summer sales and events coming up, I know it'll get worse.
I'm basically asking for help or advice on how to not let these next few weeks get to me. I know that the end is coming up, but it feels almost unbearable to have to keep dealing with them - I'm sorry I didn't choose a closer end date.
I'm also wondering if I should ask for an "exit interview" of sorts with the agency on why it didn't work out with this client. I spoke with my friend who works in HR about this and she said it seems like a waste of time, especially if the agency owner has me painted in a certain way in her head. She said to just leave it for the next agency member to see how difficult the client is, and that maybe if the agency owner is honest, she'll see that the client is the problem.
Would love some advice on how to not get too frustrated over these next few weeks. Thanks!

So the number one big problem with PD3's armour is that it completely fails to create tension. There's no tension throughout the heist because it's too easy to maintain control over the heist and prevent a premature plate break, and there's no tension from attrition because you can easily stretch your armour to last for way longer than any heist will last. Resulting in fatal boredom. So I tried modding these adjustments:

• All armours' 25% damage reduction is replaced with a 25% damage increase (with the way the game does maths, this is a 66% enemy damage increase)
• Trauma damage reduced from 35% to 13% (equivalent to 22% without the damage increase)
• Recovery time changed to 3/4/5/6 seconds (from standard lining to heavy ballistic)
• Pretend that the Extra Plates and Armour Up skills don't exist so your armour bag can only bring 4 plates
• Downs completely removed. Lose all health and go straight to custody

These changes were a good start. Before you were pretty much forced to wait out every assault and do objectives in breaks, but these changes allowed for an aggressive yet very cautious and tactical playstyle, like playing PD:TH on OVK145/193+. But it was still too easy and boring... until a dozer came up and the difficulty completely spiked.
Now one of the other big problems with PD3's design is in how they did difficulty. Instead of making it harder to do things right, it just punishes you harder for doing things wrong. It's like saying "Here's an insanely hard maths question: What's 2+2? It's difficult because if you get it wrong, you DIE!" Take the tasers, for example. They're too underpowered, so they increased their damage - changing nothing, because it was still super easy as ever to just not get tased in the first place. So, I wanted to address the difficulty gap by making the specials more of a real complication:

• Tasers' and naders' health and armour quadrupled
• Shields' health and armour doubled and their visor made unbreakable and impenetrable (same penetrability as the shield itself, so you can still get through it with the overkill sniper)

Now it's still easy to prevent the tasers and naders from attacking, but since they take so much longer to kill, you have to fall back to safe territory and come out multiple times to kill it to be safe, which really spices things up because that process opens a window where enemies can push or flank you, so now the specials actually have a big indirect impact. The shield change is also very effective at nerfing camping and waiting out assaults (since no other change actually made that any less effective).
I tested this out on Under the Surphaze OVK and oh man this actually put the excitement back in the game. Any extended enemy fire would immediately break a place so I had to clear every corner and slide from cover to cover like a tactical shooter, constantly having to decide whether to push or fall back, and after a tango with a dozer there ended up being a super tense escape with just one plate and a sliver of health left. This was absolutely a big improvement.
I would like to change other balance aspects of the game like the ammo economy, weapon firepower, skills etc. to make 4-player a proper co-operative challenge, but without p2p that isn't happening soooo it's gonna have to work with solo play and busted weapons.
If you want to try it, here is the rebalance mod. You'll need this and this to play offline.

I got off work yesterday and had to run to the store to get a few things. The store by my house is a small version of the major chain in my area and is always packed around 5.
I get my things and get to the front. I’m waiting for self checkout and there’s a boomer at one of the 4 checkouts slowly boiling over as he paced and looked around for a worker. Again, they are SLAMMED. Myself and a different boomer give each other an eye roll look and ignore. He eventually starts waiving a bill around and yelling that the machine won’t take his money. I tell him he can’t pay with cash at self-checkout. He explodes about how is he supposed to know that. I tell him it says it on the machine. He yells it doesn’t. I point to where it clearly says it FOUR places. (Also the whole only option on the payment screen being electronic payment is a pretty clear sign of no cash.) He grabs his stuff and storms off to the normal checkout with a string of expletives.
Meanwhile, across the way at another self checkout another boomer is yelling that it won’t scan her wine. Since I’m now engaged with these fools, I inform her that you can’t buy alcohol at self checkout because they have to ID and, again, big sign right there.
So now, with long lines, half the self checkouts are stalled out because boomers can’t read signs. Luckily an employee comes over from customer service, where they also had a line, approved the lady’s wine and cleared angry dudes cart. Boomer behind me laughs and says life’s hard for some folks and we both check out and leave. Threw me back a decade when I worked in food service and learned that a sizable chunk of the population can’t read signs and follow basic instructions.

That will be a long post, I hope you can accompany me until the end, I will give you a little context and I will start with my story. I 24 (F) I clarify that I am a trans girl, my ex 27 (M) heterosexual cisgender had never had a trans girlfriend. We met through a social network. We realized that we lived nearby and decided to go out to eat, before seeing each other in person I made it clear to him that I was a trans girl, which took him by surprise, it was something that he was not expected, but he still said that he felt something inside his being that told him that there was no problem. two weeks after seeing us for the first time he asked me to become his girlfriend to which I agreed because he is an excellent human being with very good values, good ethics and morals and definitely men like him difficult to find today. the relationship flowed and at about three months, he decides to leave me. He had a lot of things in his head. He was waiting for a new job, struggling with insecurities and I know that the fact that I was trans somehow took away his sleep and I didn't know how he was going to handle it with his traditional family. he lied telling me a story saying that he had to go to Las Vegas for work, for a year and a half and that he could not continue with a long-distance relationship, at the passage of the hours he confesses to me that it was a lie that he was not gonna leave. At this point deep inside me, I had already left him, I had cried and I had suffered the grief and even though I agreed to continue trying something in m broke from that first time he left me, with the passage of time, I realized that there were things that did not convince me at all his physical appearance, his personal hygiene, his height, his neediness, his way of being so closed in certain things, they made me quite angry, we talked about it, he told me that he was going to change, but I only saw changes for a certain time and then he did the same again 6 months after being in a relationship I decided to finish things this time on my own and within hours, he came regretful, telling me that everything was going to be fine that everything was going to work. After that I began to feel a little uncomfortable, but I decided to move on because he had given me a promise ring when he asked me to be his girl, since his dream was to see me dressed in white. we made many plans for the future, we planned to have a family. A month ago He managed to get that job that he was waiting for so long, everything was slowly taking form and in order to accomplish the plans we had he needed that very good job. I was able to meet his mom, he never told her that I was a trans girl and his mom didn't realize it and he kept hiding it until certain point, I got along very well with her. Everything went well and the date to meet his dad, brothers and his sister-in-law was near and I began having doubts in me. I really wanted to stay with him and meet his whole family but It would seem like an act of bad taste if a few months after i decided to end up things. Then I tried to postpone things and not meet them. when spending time with him when sleeping together when kissing, I already felt different. I felt that something was off. I felt that something had broken since that first time, we broke up, but maybe I hadn't wanted to accept it. It hurt me a lot to think that all our plans, the great work he just got, the big salary, was finally coming true, everything we waited for almost a year. I just wasn't feeling it anymore, I talked to him and told him that I no longer felt the same as he deserved someone who could give him the same thing he expected since he was settling for the little I gave him of my person, he said that this was love and that it was worth fighting and that it didn't matter how long he had to wait that it was going to be worth it. Two weeks ago, I decided to leave him and coincidentally a best friend invited me on vacation with his family. I had time to think about things and I realized that maybe I'm too young to get married. Although I feel ready, were simply mixed feelings and I didn't know what to do, when I returned last weekend we saw each other we talked and I told him that it was time to heal both for him and for me that we could not continue living a half-love because he gave everything for me, but I didn’t. I decided to put an end to our story, he told me that he would never understand why I did it if he tried so hard that if this was actually love because why I did not continue fighting, but there was simply something inside me that It made me feel that I should no longer continue and it hurts me because he is an excellent man, he will be an excellent husband, an excellent father, an excellent provider has all the qualities that any girl would die to find a man, but I simply do not know if I am getting carried away and I will regret it in the future, but I simply no longer feel this relationship. I would like you to share your opinion with me. I feel that in the future, a part of me may regret it, but for now I feel that it is the best thing for both of us to take different paths and take care of healing and doing things. Better. Maybe in our next relationship. Thank you for reading me so far, I told you it would be long. If you have any questions, leave it at the comments and I will answer since I can't put all the details here because it would be too much. Thank you. Kisses. Melina.
TL;DR I need advice if I should fight for a man that is worth it but I don’t longer feel the relationship and am not sure to continue even though I might regret it since he’s an excellent men.

I have entered my own hell...
I first attended EF in 2018 and absolutely fell in love with it but it was around this time that I started medical school and have been unable to attend again till this year. I am having my bachelorette party and I wanted to impress the party guests with the absolute blast that can be RV camping. Of course, without loyalty I could not get an RV pass. So I immediately put myself on the waiting list and have been hopeful that by some miracle I can get one. So my sorry ass took to all the FB groups to try to score a pass and it has been scammer after scammer NONSTOP.
I give each reply a chance, they say they have a pass, face value… perfect! Well I begin to vet their profile, clearly nothing posted since 2019… okay, suspicious. They say they will do paypal g&s but get aggressive and mean if I don’t reply in 10 minutes. Suspicious, block. They want to talk and exchange funds on telegram, block. Their profile randomly disappears, okay scammer. I reverse image search their profile, find real person of account they stole, scammer.
Finally, a guy says he's just trying to get some money back. He hates the “scammers.” He says he's different, tells me I can trust him. Then asks for my number and says I have to verify the code he sent to me… NOPE. I am done, we will see yall in GA camping! I am almost to the point of creating a fake account just to waste these f*ckers time and stop them from actually taking money from the hard-working festival goers that just want freaking tickets. Rant over.

about a year ago me and my at the time boyfriend had unprotected sex. I’m (F19) and he’s (M18). We were both virgins before each other, very loyal, no oral or anything. After we had sex, 2 weeks later I felt a hard lump near the opening of my vagina. After touching around I somehow noticed a soft bump at the surface. Maybe a little bigger than a pea. At first it was painless, I tried squeezing and after that, it stung when i touched it. It stung when touched for days. I could pee, no clusters, no itchiness at all. But could this have been a sore? It went away with no scabbing. But why did the surface of the skin sting? A month later I got 3 small fluid filled blisters on my lip, and before it was itching and burning, but it lasted almost a full day and disappeared. does this seem like herpes? and then 2 months later cracks on my lips appeared leaking clear fluid? i’m trying to move on from him but this baggage of thinking i’m carrying a virus has put a damper on everything. somebody be entirely honest.

I 23F and my boyfriend 23M navigating relationship dynamics amidst financial differences. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. We both are preparing for civil services. He is already working with state govt but the salary is not enough in the long run. I come from a well off family but he comes from a not so well off family. His family’s financial struggles, coupled with his modest income, raise concerns about our future together. He has to support his family financially. He is the loveliest man I’ve ever met. He is caring, mature, compassionate, open minded. It’s bare minimum but given my unpleasant interaction with men on daily basis, I thank my stars for this. We’ve established clear boundaries regarding religious practices and living arrangements.
His family is quite religious so I’ve cleared beforehand that I’m not going to perform any religious rituals or follow any restrictions, he is ok with that. But when I talked about having a different home as I don’t want to live in a joint family setup (although his parents can live with us if they want) but I’m not going to share a house with his brother’s family in future. It’s get very complicated in a joint family as I grew up in a toxic dysfunctional joint family so I don’t want the same situation for my children. He said he is helpless he doesn’t have much money to build a house but he is studying hard to get a good job so that we would live a comfortable life. Initially he said he can only afford to have one child in this economy but I want 2 so he agreed upon this too.
He is too patient with me. We met on twitter, I liked his socio political views and this made me fall for him. We hit it off easily. We met after 1.5 years of talking as I was not sure about us and I was afraid of my family. He patiently helped me to overcome my fears, insecurities. We love each other so much. We have compatibility, healthy communication, mutual understanding, spark each other’s support. Sometimes I feel insecure due to my anxiety issues but he always responds with reassurance that he is so secure with my love.
Recently, I contemplated ending the relationship, fearing the uncertainty our future holds. I asked him to end everything as it’s going to be very complicated. He comes from different caste too though it’s not an issue for us. He said he’s going to fight his family in future if such situation ever befalls. Anything that matters me is our financial security in future. So I asked him to end this ( didn’t say this seriously with the intention to end relationship immediately). Then he said you’re quick to say that, almost as if you’re disregarding my presence. But then he said he respects my practical decision and I’m free to go and wished me luck. Then he cried saying that he has imagined his life with me. He said for the first time in his life he wishes he had enough money so he wouldn’t let me go. Then he recollected himself and said this should not impact my practical decision. I felt so bad, his response left me feeling guilty. Am I being mean? I highly doubt if I ever find such a man given the current scenario of this country. But with him I have to make adjustments.
The only way we would consider getting together is if we both secure good jobs. I’m under constant pressure 24/7, worrying about what might happen if things don’t work out and I don’t find a good job within the next two years. Relatives constantly badger my family, urging them to marry me off soon, as they believe I’m in my prime and won’t find a suitable match later on. Their comments are hurtful. While my mother is very supportive, I can’t stand my extended family or our community. My boyfriend advises me to focus solely on my studies and not to overthink things too much. But I’m not able to find peace amidst this chaos. My mental health is f up. I’m not able to focus on my studies.
Any advice on how to navigate this complex terrain would be immensely appreciated. Please help your sister. Thanks lovelies for reading. 🌸❤️

Hi all! After a crazy, but incredibly fun and rewarding year earning my pilot certs, I wanted to make a write-up of my experience in hopes that it’ll be helpful for any other aspiring or current pilots. To summarize, I went from zero aviation experience to CFII in 13 months, Part 61, paying as I go and on the pretty cheap side. I do want to emphasize that I was ~incredibly~ lucky and had some very generous people who helped me out, and I could not have done this as efficiently and cheaply if it weren’t for them. I’m going to list all my takeaways below, but I think my biggest piece of advice is to network as much as you can because there are some amazing, generous people in this community that want to see us all succeed.
Background:
For context, I’m in my mid to late twenties and have been in the workforce for about 5 years. Through a combination of factors I decided to make a career switch to professional pilot but was hesitant because I did not want to take on debt. I have a family member who is an airline pilot who helped me devise a plan. I moved home and kept working my job remotely so I was able to put all my paychecks towards flying.
Private Pilot – 3 months, 75 hours TT, $12k
I did my private in a Piper Archer owned by my local FBO. The owner allowed my family member to be my instructor and gave me a small discount for pre-paying hours. We flew almost daily. I also took ground school at another local FBO in-person, and that was much more helpful than having to learn everything on my own because I was brand new to aviation. I took the private written exam as soon as my ground school concluded which was also the week of my checkride (bad idea in hindsight, but it worked out).
I solo’d around 25 hours and took my checkride with about 60 hours in the Archer (15 additional hours were in a friend’s airplane). The checkride was challenging, but straightforward and I was well prepared. The DPE said good things about me afterward and I was officially a private pilot! I’d be happy to answer questions or do a writeup in a separate post on any of my checkrides but for the sake of brevity I’ll skip that for now.
~Key takeaways from private:~
Fly as often as possible and make sure your instructor is aligned with that. Also stay on top of ground school. Also, don’t rush to take the checkride before you’re ready, it’s okay to have a lot of practice first. Lastly, I know DPE availability is a big issue in lots of areas and can cause people to have to wait on a checkride even though they’ve been ready for months. In my experience, if you try hard enough and call around, you will find someone. However, it might mean you have to travel a little bit which I know is not possible for everyone.
Instrument – 2 months, 150 hours TT, $14k
I was feeling a little fatigued after private so I was slow to start studying for instrument. I started by doing a lot of flying for fun, mainly flying in the Archer by myself on little cross countries to check off some of the requirements (in hindsight I should have found someone to split time with).
I did my instrument at a flight school in one of the adjacent states. This particular school specializes in accelerated programs, but they do not have a formalized instrument course. I went in-person and spoke with the director of flight operations to discuss my options. Since I had to take PTO to do this, the goal was to finish my instrument in one week with the checkride at the end. I paid a flat rate for the airplane and instructor time. I also stayed over there during that week so I had to pay for housing as well.
Before I went over there, I did some prep in the Archer that I did my private in and took the written exam (Sheppard air). I also purchased Sporty’s Instrument course and used that to prep and for the endorsement needed to take the written. The week I spent at the flight school was honestly a blast, and I was able to take my checkride on day 7 with 20 hours in the plane and about 4 hours of sim time. Again, happy to discuss the checkride in the comments or another post.
~Key takeaways from instrument:~
TAKE THE IRA, FII, AND IGI EXAMS AT THE SAME TIME. You only have to purchase the IRA Sheppard course and can take all 3 exams back to back. Also, again stay on top of ground school because instrument flying requires a lot of technical knowledge. But it honestly is really fun!
Commercial – 3 months, 263 hours TT, $8k
The biggest challenge for commercial was time building, of course. This is where networking saved me. I made friends with another instructor who frequented my local FBO who also owns a plane. He needed the time as well so we flew together a lot and I paid for the fuel. I also had another friend at the airport who owns a plane that he doesn’t fly often and offered to let me time build in that (again, I’ve been so lucky to come across some very generous people).
I did my checkride in the Archer that I learned in with my family member signing me off, and with the same DPE who did my private. Commercial was probably the easiest one I had done so far, but it still was no joke! I will say I was amazed with how much easier things came to me by this point versus when I first started, which was a great feeling.
~Key takeaways from commercial:~
Network, network, network. Spend as much time as you can at your local FBO or flight school and make friends with everyone. Like I’ve said, there are some very generous people out there who love to help out new pilots, and I could not have made it this far without them.
Also, in retrospect, it would have been a really good idea to have done commercial from the right seat. I’ve heard of a lot of people doing that and if I had, I would have been able to knock out CFI a lot sooner and cheaper.
Multi-engine add-on – 1 week, 298 hours TT, $4.3k
Shortly after getting my CPL, I had a week of PTO and decided to knock out my multi add-on. I found a flight school with a Seminole and got ahold of their MEI, and we figured we could knock it out during that week. I contacted the DPE who did my private and commercial and we scheduled my checkride for the end of the week. This flight school was about 2 hours driving from home, and I was able to stay with friends while I was there.
This one was a little challenging because this was in January in the midwest and we were seeing a lot of low IFR days. We ended up getting weathered out the first half of the week, but luckily the Seminole was an easy transition for me and we got me trained up in 3 days, 8 hours of flying. I took the checkride as scheduled and passed (I will say I have had extremely good luck with weather for all of my checkride days so far).
Sidenote: Prior to this checkride, I also took the AGI and IGI exams and asked the DPE who did my multi checkride to sign off on the ground instructor certificate at the same time. I did this because I’ve heard it helps when applying to CFI jobs (shows a little extra effort) and it was easier to do it this way versus having a FSDO issue the cert. Cost me $50 to the DPE.
~Key takeaways from multi:~
Do your research to find an airplane at a good rate. I paid $395 per hour which included the instructor, but I’ve seen some schools charging a lot more. Also, I looked into schools with accelerated courses that you pay as a package, and based on my experience I would not recommend because I was able to do it much cheaper my way.
My instructor did a good job of making sure I knew all the aircraft systems well enough to teach them in case I go for my MEI (which I would like to do soon). Since the MEL is light on material, I highly recommend this. Also, when I was doing research I was told to look for a Seminole or DA-42 because they’re easy trainers, which I would agree with based on my limited experience.
CFI – 1 month (on top of all my experience thus far), 316 hours TT, $5k
This was the scariest one for me. I had heard all along that CFI is the hardest and longest checkride and for the most part I would agree. I originally was planning on going to a school with an accelerated program for this, but after asking around I decided to do it on my own (with my family member signing me off).
This one was heavy on ground school. I got some lesson plans from various people as I heard that’s what everyone has prepared for the checkride, but I hardly ended up using them. I also had a friend send me PowerPoints he made for the technical subject areas. I edited them/made them my own and these are what I ended up using for the checkride along with a couple props.
As far as studying goes, the thing I found most helpful was watching random YouTube videos before bed every night. Although it was all review, I picked up a lot of tidbits that weren’t quite drilled into my brain as I still feel new to aviation overall. As the DPE described it, to be a good CFI you basically need to be a nerd about everything aviation and that’s what I tried to do. I would guess that I studied a few hours a day for a month and a half or so. As for the flying part, I had a little bit of right seat experience prior to buckling down for CFI (probably under 5 hours), so I’d guess it took me about 5 more hours to feel comfortable in the right seat. I took the checkride with the same DPE who did my private, commercial, and multi and passed! The checkride was 8 hours total so definitely a long day. As we were debriefing, I went ahead and scheduled CFII with him as well.
~Key takeaways from CFI:~
Start nerding out now (if you aren’t already). Keep a running collection of links and videos that explain concepts well or teach you something interesting, they will be useful for the checkride. Also, don’t buy lesson plans. As my DPE put it, there are really only like 5 lesson plans for any given topic and we all steal them from each other, so no need to reinvent the wheel or pay for them if someone else can give them to you. I’d also recommend really getting to know the PTS, because it lays out very clearly what you are required to do on the checkride (for example you know you’re going to need to teach runway incursions so it’s a good opportunity to be really prepared). I’m sure my last point is most applicable to those doing CFI on their own since you won’t have a school telling you exactly what to expect.
CFII – 1 month, 368 hours TT, $1.3k
CFII was possibly the easiest checkride to prepare for. I did this one in a friend’s airplane – a Mooney with a G750 and GFC 500 autopilot. It probably took about 10 hours of flying (I already have lots of time in this plane) to be ready. For studying, I reviewed Pilot Cafe, YouTube videos, and obtained some lesson plans from a friend. I did not use PowerPoints or anything for this one. I also had already completed the written exam back when I did my instrument rating. I’m not sure what else to say about this one, but I did it with the same DPE again and passed. It feels amazing to be done with checkrides for a while!
~Key takeaways from CFII:~
Select an airplane with a good autopilot. This made the flying portion of the checkride super easy. For the oral, I highly recommend working with instructors who send students for a lot of instrument checkrides. I feel like there are so many very specific questions that DPEs like to ask on instrument/CFII checkrides, so it helps if you have someone who knows what those questions are going to be. Also, FlightInsight on YouTube and Boldmethod were my favorite resources for this one. Lastly, make sure you know your avionics and autopilot really well, including reading and being able to teach all of the limitations that are in the user manuals.
Notes regarding cost:
I did a decent job of tracking all my expenses throughout this process. I noted in the title that the total cost to me was about $50k, which consists of the ~$45k that I discussed above plus some additional expenses. I also did my commercial ASES rating at Jack Brown’s seaplane base which cost me about $2.5K total (of course this was just for fun). The remaining amount consists of things like buying a headset, books, random accessories, and even some things I called “unnecessary expenses”. I temporarily paid for a membership at a flight school that I barely ended up using, so I put that in that category. While I did everything pretty cheap, I was definitely not perfect!
Here is a further breakdown of my expenses:
Airplane rentals/fuel - $36.9k
Instructor fees - $2.5k (bear in mind I got a lot of free instruction from friends & family)
Ground school - $1.3k (includes actual ground school and books)
Flight accessories - $1.2k
Written exam fees - $1.2k (8 exams total)
DPE fees - $5.8k (7 checkrides; this includes seaplane)
Medical fees - $290
Housing - $900
Misc/unnecessary expenses - $1.2k
Total: $51.7k
Overall Takeaways:
- For those doing Part 61/pay as you go, I highly recommend finding an independent instructor with a flexible schedule. This was key for me because I had a work schedule to work around.
- NETWORKING/MAKING FRIENDS. Go to every fly-in you can, always stop into the FBO to say hi to people, etc. etc. Having friends in aviation was monumentally helpful for me and saved me SO much money. Cannot stress this enough!
- If you are on a timeline, make sure you set specific milestones and when you are going to hit them. Make sure your instructor is on board too.
- Do your research! Reddit has been a fantastic resource for me throughout this process. Talk to people who have achieved the things you want to achieve. I really cannot thank you all enough for all your help and insights on your experiences!
Again, I am more than happy to answer any and all questions. I also apologize if anything is jumbled or confusing; this took a long time to write and I’m sure I missed things. I will also disclaim that while I did a good job of tracking all my expenses, I was not perfect and YMMV for sure. I just hope this gave a somewhat helpful picture for those hoping to do something similar to what I did.
As for next steps, I am aiming for the airlines one of these days! I have a couple interviews at flight schools coming up so I am planning to quit my job and finally start flying full-time soon. I want to do my MEI sometime soon as well but I haven’t figured out how I’m going to pay for the PIC time yet.
I also want to say that I absolutely love general aviation and hope to always be involved in it. I have made so many friends, had some incredible experiences, and learned way more than I could have ever imagined in the past year. For anyone thinking about flying, hopefully this is your sign to just do it! Feel free to comment with questions!

I’m going camping in a couple months and I’m having a hard time choosing where to stay. How does Shades State Park compare to Sugar Creek for tent camping?
I prefer to be separated from RVs when tent camping. It seems like RVs and tents are mixed at Shades, but I see that it’s non-electric sites so I’m not sure if that means that it’ll be quieter. I like this location because the hiking looks great.
Sugar Creek looks like a fine camping place and they make it clear that tents and RV’s are separate, but they don’t seem as secluded.

So the intro is from J Cole obviously.
Couple of side notes.
Im not a native English speaker so bare with me on the grammer and stuff.
I will try to be as clear as i can be but that probably gonna be hard
Not sure what i wanna get out of this post but here it goes...
Im a 34 year old dude who probably has everything in life to be happy. Got loving parents and family, got a couple of good friends, pretty sportive and tall, nice job, no debts other than student loans which isnt that much.
So last year my EX gf broke up with me, but to put things into perspective i will start in january 2022. In january 2022 i had some issues(cardiac arrhythmia) with my heart, nothing that could kill me but still unpleasent. It made me introvert and not a very lovely person to be around. Not that i would get mad just always low on energy. 2 weeks prior to this we bought our first house and moved to the city my ex gf grew up in. It was cool with me, i liked her family and it was only 30k from where we lived the past 6 years.
So we moved in, on april 2022. Everything was going well i just couldnt handle everything since the cardiac arrhythmia wasnt fixed. My boss knew of the issues and the company was pretty helpfull. But on may 2022 my colleague announced he was gonna quit and leave the company. That made me responsible for everyting on the department. I had a hard time with this.
In june 2022 they finally fixed my heart and it felt like i could move forward again. It would take a little time to get back in shape and stuff but that shouldnt be a big deal because i like sports.
Then my ex gf and i had a discussion about a puppy. I wasnt the biggest fan but since she really wanted one i could put my personal opinion aside and just go with it. BIG MISTAKE. A puppy is pretty hard work, we were prepared but i guess that wasnt enough.
When the puppy came in august i just totally couldnt handle everthing. New city, just got back from the heart stuff, lots of stress on the job and a cute but ffing crazy puppy running around. So at the end of august i called in sick at work, i was facing a burn out and couldnt get out of this.
On the other side my ex gf was happy because she made a promotion, moved closer to her family and got her puppy. From august 2022 to december 2022 we lived together but werent really a couple anymore. It hurt me but i was pretty much waiting for me to feel better and start life again. At the end of december i was getting better bit by bit.
We went to the christmas market in Cologne and i hoped this was the turning point. We were gonna be there for 2 nights. Couple days before we left my ex gf asked if it was okay to just go one night because the was an event at here work on the second day. I was like, sure if you really wanna go.
So she went to the event and i went home. She didnt came home that night, at the time i didnt think anything about it. The next day i picked her up and she looked sooo hungover, this was december 23rd. We went to her family the 24th and the plan was to go to mine the 25th. The puppy had some stressfull days so we decided it was best for the puppy to not come to my family. My ex ''voluntered'' to watch him. I wasnt to pleased with that but i was a little mad at how she acted the last couple of days so i just went alone.
The following weeks things werent going very smooth. We didnt talk much and when one was taking care of the puppy the other was going to friends or going to the gym or something. Again, no red flags for me, boy was i wrong. In the middle of january she dropped the bomb and said she needed some time alone. After one week we got back together and she said she needed another week. After two weeks she said the same thing. But i wasnt having that, so i didnt go along. Thats when she broke up with me. At that time i saw it coming a little because if you wanna live apart for 3 weeks after living together for 7 years that says enought.
2 minutes after she broke up with me i asked what had happend that night when she didnt came home. She admitted she cheater with a colleague. So i was thinking all these crazy thing like how she had been cheating for months and stuff(a couple months later i believe that was the only cheating thing she did)
The aftermath. I left the house and went back to the city we lived in for 10+ years. She got to keep the house with a crazy good mortgage. I lost some money, couple of 1000 euro. We had to deal with the paperwork. I was going to play it cool untill i found out she slept with that colleague again 2 weeks after breaking up but still living in the same house. Thats when something snapped in my mental. From february 2023 till june 2023 i was really struggling mentally. In june i started dating again just to have some hookups and boost my confidence.
In september 2023 i had this date with an awesome girl. I really liked her and things went great from the start. She is my current girlfriend who i really like and i know she really loves me too. The hard part is that i ran away from my ex gf and never got a decent closure. I wasnt thinking much about it untill yesterday when i had sort of an argument with my gf. It wasnt about anything important but it hit me emotionally.
When we got home she asked if i still saw the future like how i saw it with my ex. That i hold on to too many thing from that relationship. I mean sure, i like some things i did with my ex. We played the same sport and i like to introduce my current girlfriend to the sport and visit a pro game every once in a while. But my gf said she had the feeling she had to act like my ex and also had to like the game.
Also i kind of hate my ex, she cheated, she dumped me when i wasnt doint to well and she got the benefit of the house. The last year i thought alot about it but i wasnt seeing how much it still affected my day to day mental. I think my gf just started my process that i should have started last february when my ex broke up with me. I didnt give myself any time to grief over it.
SO basically this post is the start to get over my ex of maybe to see that life is awesome and that all the shit went down just led me to this awesome girl who can read my like a book and want to help me get back on the saddle and have an awesome life with here.
Also, this maybe sound crazy to you guys. But i shouldnt be mad anymore. It sounds so simple but the last year and a bit i was just a bitter dude who got dumped. Its time to look forward and to live again.
I you read this far. You are awesome, if not, you can also read the TL;DR below.
TL;DR My ex dumped me after i got a hard time with heart problems, a burn out and moving to the city she grew up in. After we broke up she got to keep the house which is benicifial and i lost a couple grand. Now i have a new girlfriend and she feels like im not over that situation yet because i still spreak bad about my ex and i feel like she betrayed me. But i realised, maybe 1 year to late i should just let it go and enjoy life right here and right now.

Dear fans and followers, we’re sad to inform you all that we’ve reached the end of the line - Solution .45 is no more‼️

We’ve dug deep trying to find that motivating and inspiring spark again, but unfortunately it’s just not there anymore. When we decided to get this ball rolling again back in early 2023 we thought we still had it in us and God knows we’ve tried to get on the right track these last 1,5 years, but no matter what direction we’ve steered, it has just felt forced, joyless and all for the wrong reasons. So after several new attempts, different starting points and countless meetings, we’ve mutually agreed on that’s it’s for the best putting this giant to rest, for good (which we actually did already back in December last year). There’s simply a time and place for everything and clearly, in hindsight, the time and place for S.45 is in the past. Our hearts and wills are evidently elsewhere these days and without those two ingredients in the mix, no matter how hard you try, the outcome will not be satisfactory or worthwhile to anyone. As sad as it might seem, calling it quits has actually been a relief for us, since trying to get this beast on its feet again has been more of an angst-ridden burden, rather than something inspiring and fun. All’s well that ends well! Then again, living in the age of comebacks and reunions, who knows what the future holds⁉️
Thanks to each and everyone of you who have supported and backed Solution .45 in any way, since the start! Your dedication and devotion have made all the difference! ❤️ With that being said, we will wrap things up by re-releasing our debut album “For Aeons Past” as a limited 2LP splatter vinyl, through AFM Records. 🔥 More news on this soon! /Jani, Christian, Patrik, Rolf & Henric
Source: https://www.facebook.com/solution.45.official/posts/pfbid0MyCPYwvvkAm3Dj2yxvqNKqgAUvNUpYoWjt82bVhfq4e2u23ELKhMn7c2MfVbvuiTl

Hi all! I wanted to share a funny series of events from me and my friend's DnD campaign. We're a good sized group; seven in total (including the DM). We've just finished our 8th session and we're playing through the Curse of Strahd.
None of us have played through a whole campaign before and only three of us have played some form of Dnd, being the DM, me (Elven FighteRogue) and our Tiefling Paladin (who is obsessed with BG3).
It was our third session and we'd been exploring the "Death House", though we decided to explore it in the most awkward. Way. Possible. Much to our DM's frustration.
First thing we did was go all the way upstairs.
For some character context, my character is from a noble family and the other players don't actually know his specific race, other than the Paladin and Bard, a Goblin-raised Human (who is my character's rival/love interest) as we have made some above-table plans.
Anyway, my character was the first to climb the stairs. The Bard decided to push my character out of the way so he could get there first, and my character pushed back because he's not gonna take that. This resulted in the two scuffling on the stairs until the Paladin pushed past them, with the Dragonborn Ranger and Gobin Cleric following close behind.
(This was before our sixth party member's first session.)
My character decided it's not worth it and went back downstairs.
The rest of the party got to the third floor, and found a suit of armour, when the Paladin brushed off some dust. This triggered combat that we were very unprepared for, and the Bard shrieked, which brought my character back upstairs in time to perform a sneak attack.
After we somehow survived the fight, we went back downstairs to the ground floor. We destroyed the cupboard with the health potions we were meant to find earlier (we smashed half of them) and I tried to take all three crossbows that were available even though my character could not carry one of them, largely just because OOC I didn't want the Paladin's player to get them for a platonic sibling rivalry reason, which led to the events that happened later on in the next session.
We eventually made it to the attic, somehow bypassing all the lore the DM had planned, and reached the basement without exploring the first or second floors.
We made it to the servants' quarters in the basement where we met our sixth party member (a Human Warlock), who hadn't played before and stayed quiet for most of the session. My character and hers only said their names to each other.
The Paladin, Bard and I went searching for loot in separate rooms while the Ranger and Cleric decided to check out the well. The Ranger was able to get the bucket off the pulley, and the Cleric volunteered to sit in it and be sent down. The DM kept trying to take their attention away from the well, but the Ranger's player accused her of keeping secrets and continued to send the Cleric down. The DM was sort of laugh-crying at this point.
Meanwhile, my character was searching through chests in the bedrooms. I found a coin pouch made of human skin, and the Paladin decided to grab him and started to DRAG him TO THE WELL. Obviously, I started to panic. I made a strength check to try and wriggle my way out, but the Bard decided TO HELP HER. So I failed my strength check. I tried again, but ended up failing that too, even without the Bard's interference. I tried to persuade the Paladin to let my character go, when the Cleric, who was already halfway down the well at this point, decided to yell up "I'll wave at you on your way down!"
At this point, my voice had gone up three octaves and I was actively trying to keep my guy alive and stay in character while I did it, which was hard bc I hadn't entirely figured him out yet, and also because the Paladin was trying to THROW HIM IN A WELL.
Eventually, I offered to pay her to NOT throw me in a well, to which she stopped and said "Give me the skin pouch."
For some reason. That sibling rivalry came back.
Instead of just giving it to her, I refused and she started dragging me to the well again. I freaked out again and started pleading with her, which she refused. The Bard and Ranger both told me to just give it to her. The Paladin reaches to pick my character up and I quickly changed my mind and said I'd give it to her, but asked if we could split the coin inside it.
I genuinely do not know why I did that.
She stopped and with a straight face said "Oh yeah, I don't care about the money, I just want the pouch."
My jaw dropped. Both me and my character yelled "That's all you wanted? The skin pouch!?" and she just replied "yeah, it's human skin?" like it was an obvious thing to want.
I gave it to her empty, while the Bard called me a rich boy or something, and my character kind of just collapsed from the stress.
The Cleric came back out of the well in a bucket full of "Goblin water", which he then tried to throw on my character. I dodged it, but the Bard saw that there was some left and successfully drenched my poor FighteRogue.
The Warlock then decided she wanted to try dry him.
So she hits with him Eldritch Blast.
Obviously, that's not how that works, so my poor, stressed, drenched Elf is not only mildly scared of the Paladin, but now also the Warlock, and is now hurt (I took 9 hit points).
We spent an hour at that well. The session ended about ten minutes later after fighting, killing and then havesting a Grick. (The Paladin ate the Grick meat next session and got poisoned, despite having normal rations. But not before she tried to keep said Grick as a pet.)
The sessions since have been the same level of chaos, but we're all clearly more comfortable with our characters so it's far more consistent. Hope you enjoyed this retelling as much as I have. I'm going to finish drawing up the comic of our game at some point so I'll hopefully have more wacky adventures to share.

Hello everyone,
I’ve been dealing with daily abdominal pain for the last three months, and I’m hoping someone here might have some insights or similar experiences to share. Here’s a breakdown of my situation:

• Initial Pain Level: I wake up with the pain at a level 1.
• Progression: As the day goes on, the pain intensifies, reaching levels 6-7 by the afternoon or evening.
• Location: The pain is consistently located about two inches above my belly button, right in the center but is felt on both the left and right.
• Medical Tests (all fine):
  • Endoscopy
  • Colonoscopy
  • MRI
• Diet: My diet is relatively healthy, and I experience the pain even when I haven’t eaten, sometimes water or bone broth in the morning will set it off.
• Additional Symptom: When I wake up, I feel quite gassy, farting a lot.

My poo rotates from been hard and ten soft mushy (but not wattery)
I can press on the spot where the pain is in the morning and feel the discomfort that will later become consistent and more severe throughout the day. Despite the tests, I haven’t received a clear diagnosis, and it’s becoming quite challenging to manage daily activities with this level of pain.
Has anyone experienced something similar or have any suggestions on what I might try next? Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I’ve seen primary care doctors and can’t get to a specialist because I guess they don’t take me seriously.
A little over a month ago I cleaned up dust from a floor refinishing. The company had already finished the floors and sealed the floors. I was wiping up dust with wet rags on horizontal surfaces.
My sinuses have been super dry and messed up since. Not like allergies, I have had those before, like the texture has been removed from the inside of sinus and the snot I produce is more or less just water. I’ve had stints where it gets a little better for a few hours but never normal. One side hurts and if I flex my face I can feel pulling and stinging inside the nasal cavity. I tried to go back into the house but symptoms come firing back, irritated eyes, sinuses lock up worse than before it’s awful. Also it makes my mouth taste weird , eyes burn and my throat itch.
I have since learned much about wood dust. All the information I can find is on occupational exposure. It was dusty but it didn’t seem like a crazy amount. Didn’t wear a mask. The wood was walnut and apparently that has its own issues, (irritant, sensitizer, cancers) but can’t find an expert on that either.
Male 6’4” 245 lbs , 120/81, 60 bpm , 44 yrs old
I’m frustrated, not being able to breathe right is making me crazy. I was sent home with antihistamines that just dried my sinuses out worse. I’ve been using nasal rinses and moisturizing gels. Other people have been in the property and say they don’t notice anything. Idk what specialist to ask for or what tests to run. I can hardly find anyone that’s had close to the same experience. No idea if this will ever get better.