Sayings funny and thoughtful

being a ' victim ' of sexual abuse is crazy . im disabled for life because some relatives took pleasure in causing me pain . i cant talk about my experiences without making other people uncomfortable . but at the end of the day , the experiences were so mild in comparison to other types of trauma . i didnt watch my entire family get slaughtered in a genocide . i was never maimed . i spent a couple years getting touched and used by an uncle , and i was treated as my mentally disabled cousins stim - toy / cum - rag . oh no , poor elodie is incontinent and has trust issues and inappropriate sexual thoughts about being mistreated again . blah blah . thousands of people live everyday in worse conditions than me and yet still contribute more to society . if i had the means to , id finish the job i attempted . thats another funny thing though . my parents had no time for me all those years , pawning me off to be babysat by him while they ' HAD to ' work . letting him homeschool me and making me ' supervise ' my older cousin for years . yet when my adult self has finally had enough , and when i tried to take matters into my own hands , they suddenly have all the time in the world ? theyll jam their fingers down my throat to stop an overdose only to cover their ears when i tell them why im doing it ? la la la existence is lonely and exhausting and purposeless . feel free to tell me how pathetic this self - pity void is . or better yet , dont give me acknowledgement at all .

I only just discovered that this was a thing so it's nice to see i'm not the only one.
I worked a remote job for many years and after long relationship ended i got curious and did a lot of travel and it was shocking the difference between the dynamic between the women in my home country of Australia and those abroad. Since then have exclusively dated women from abroad both while traveling for extended periods and at home. I am seeking a long term partner and have had a couple of great relationships that didn't pan out amongst other shorter but just as rewarding encounters.
I came back to Aus as the pandemic was kicking off and I don't know if this is frowned upon and not in the spirit of ppb but Australia has a huge migrant population and also a vast amount of people study here from abroad. I have met a lot of wonderful women from other places here who I felt were genuine and not visa hunting. A lot of them were also high achievers and intelligent but had excellent grounding / moral compass from their upbringings and were of course well traveled.
I still like to take extended trips but have found meeting foreign women at home just as rewarding for those who maybe have jobs that don't allow or other constraints. I like that they are here on their own merit too so i don't feel any obligation as far as their living arrangements if it gets serious.
I just wanted to mention the two recent experiences I have had this year. One was a Filipina and I also tried dating an Australian girl for first time in years...
So this filipina was cute as a button, highly educated completing a masters here and also working. Her attitude was so different to western girls and she always wanted to take care of me bringing food, affection and also sexually she did her best to ensure i was taken care of. The way she treated me made me want to step up to try my best to ensure she had everything she needed and treat her right with lots of love and care. It's all the small things I tell you! alot of it was very sweet cooking for each other and being lame. people think PPB just want a maid or to have some sort of power over their partner but I just loved how it was so reciprocal.
Then i should mentioned this Australian girl. Playing games with me from day one, saying things just to try and get reactions out of me, almost begging to be constantly complimented which was a turn on in itself. Her texts were also super passive aggressive and if i didn't play the game she'd mention oh some guy at work was flirting with me etc like i would be outraged. She was a perfectly lovely person to hang with but i got this feeling like it was a one way street. She wanted to be worshipped but she was so uncaring and cold why would i? She also seemed to think every guy she met or knew was madly in love with her but she was a pretty average person. I just thought her attitude stunk. really hot and cold.
I don't even know why i'm posting but there are so many great girls out there who aren't the spoilt brats we have here in Australia. Im not surprised when i see such i high number of interracial / international couples here in Melbourne. It makes me laugh because i have a lot of female friends and they are always the ones that comment on it when we are out with snide remarks. We are friends so obviously I think they are awesome company, funny and cool but they have the same attitude and wonder why they are single in their late 30's / early 40's now desperately trying to hunt down a man to shack up with or have kids.
I believe in equality for men and women 100% but i also think we are different creatures and theres nothing wrong with that. Being vilified by western women for being a straight white dude blows.
Finally I would say my favourite destinations have been in Asia by far due to the cost, food, proximity to Aus and wonderful people of both genders. Vietnam, Japan and Thailand are honourable mentions. Although with Thailand I stay clear of BKK or Resort towns.
My first post but i look forward to following the sub. I'm at the stage where i really hope to lock someone special I can marry and build something with so i like seeing so many genuine posts also.
Excuse the poorly written post i just typed my random thoughts on the matter. If i've made any blunders that aren't allowed here i'm sorry in advance!
Repost as last wasn't clear enough

About six months ago, I had a memory of dancing with someone, maybe eight or nine years ago, in a club. I hadn’t thought about this interaction in years, and didn’t think much about it than either, except that I thought it was weird (which is probably why it lingered in my brain). I was dancing with a girl and I started to feel her chest. She had a lot of energy and movement and was very into the music, but from my memory, nothing felt too off. This went on for a bit, and then we started to make out. After the first make out, I immediately left. It was very sloppy and I just remember thinking about how strange of a kiss it was. I didn’t think much of it though. I was pretty young at the time and didn’t have much experience with drunk people or people who may have been on some sort of party drug. That was the last I thought of it for many years.
When a memory of this popped back into my head a few months ago, it made me immediately think that she was in a state where she could not have consented to my advances. Since it was a long time ago, my memories are foggy, and I’m filling in the gaps with the worst case scenarios and it’s making me feel absolutely terrible. Even if she was enjoying it, I feel deeply guilty and ashamed that I acted predatory. I moved too quickly on her and didn’t make sure she was in a safe position where she wanted to be with me.
These thoughts have been flooding my brain, and I’m finding it difficult to think about anything but this. I’ve run through the events in my head, endlessly, and each time I feel more confused. I cannot accept the uncertainty, and I wish I knew who she was so I could talk to her. I can’t live with the fact that I may have had such a devastating impact on someone else’s life. I wish I could ask her how she is and I hope that she is doing well, and that this event did not have a significant impact on her life.
I’ve had a girlfriend for over two years and I’m not sure if I should tell her how I’m feeling. I feel like I’m lying to her every day by letting her think I’m a good person. She tells me that I’m kind and considerate, but I can’t help but think about this event when she says that. I love her so much and I can’t imagine not being with her, but I’m certain she would leave me if I told her about it. It’s been consuming me from the inside. I feel so deeply ashamed of my actions and I wish I could reverse time. When I see young kids, I get sad about how good I was back then and then how I ended up being what I am today. I feel like I’ve let everyone down around me who thinks highly of me. I’m scared that I’ll lose everyone. I’m scared that I seriously hurt someone.

setting: you spawn in the upstairs portion of an abandoned Spanish village with your team and 10 other npc‘s a angry Scottish soldier, a stupid but very patriotic rocket Calvary officer, a cocky king German Leigon soldier, a Australian rifleman, a 5th regiment sapper that is very strong a defected French engineer, a defected French spy and a Portuguese soldier that no one can understand that has demented thoughts and loves fire.
You have been captured by rogue French soldiers that want to continue the war even though they know about the truce in Leipzig . As you have been captured in the top room in a building the French engineers and soldier have been building walls around the several graveyards around the village and have rigged them with explosives to blow them up and escape the city.
gameplay: as the French are about to execute you and your team there is a small breech in the wall and some undead break into the building. The french Are maul to death and drop There wepons. Seeing this as a chance to escape your team grabbers the wepons and shoots the undead and French. After this there will be voice lines of the n.p.c s and you and your team rush down to the outside and patch up the wall. As this happens you see a cart with horses and go through the village and patch up walls and collect rockets and gunpowder barrels along with food. As you reach the end of the village and Place the trail of explosives to blow up the walls one of the walls collapses and you are hurried to place it down. As the Calvary officer yells fire I. The hole and clicks the detonation devise it fails. And the angry scotish man grabbed a nock gun and says the voice line . “These French engineers and their equipment are all one big piece of shi-“ . before he. Can finish the nock gun goes off nocking him into the cart and scarring the horse causing it to gallop away as you are running away the explosives go off as the London philimonic orchestra’s version of March of the toreadors plays with the explosions syncing with the symbol crashes. As the song comes to the first quieter part the Calvary officer stops the horses and prepares to fire the rockets at a bridge to the village to trap the last zombies as he holds the other npc s get mad and he eventualy fires when the next symbol crash happens. When the freddy fazbear pat happens you will be coming into a wooded dark area and you crash into some wood as the Portuguese soldier lights a torch to see around you see that you are trapped in a graveyard with the zombies close ing in rapidly with a very slim chance of escape . When there will be a objective marker saying light the munitions shed in the distance as the louder part of the Freddy fazbear part plays as the shed explodes it will sync with the next symbol crash and you will be racing out of the graveyard with the threat of the explosions and zombies approaching you will escape with a dramatic exit. The end. Developers please take notice of this I will be posting the music and maybe my idea for character models in the next couple of day

I have a friend who doesn't call herself psychic, but at the very least says she has psychic abilities. I don't doubt that, and this post isn't asking if she's legit. She says she can see spirits, and thinks she gets messages about people. She's a life and meditation coach, and has used these. "messages" with her clients.
It's not the usual fake psychic messages, she usually goes "I don't know why, but I'm getting the thought..." And then it's something vague and simple like 'you're thinking about work' and then she helps them let go of the thought for meditation.
I've done a few sessions with her, and it's nice, but I think she thinks she's more in tune than she is. She's "received" those vague messages about me, and they're always wrong. I don't know if I'm psychic (I think I'd to be) but I've been told I'm extremely intuitive, even by people who dont believe in this stuff, and I KNOW that I'm self reflective. I know exactly what I feel and think, and if I don't, I sit with it until I do. When she gets a message, I'll tell her it's wrong, and what I'm feeling, but she just makes a noise of intrigue, and moves on.
It's not that big of a deal, but I want to know how those in the psychic community feel about this. And I'd also appreciate any advice for how I should handle it if I ever do another session with her.

thoughts on an idea i have?
i have an idea for an alastor centered comic thing about him being trans and having suppressing the feelings he didn’t know he had, only to learn about it and becomes this... off version of himself (well really herself)
and it would follow him becoming the woman she was always made to be
idk why i have this idea. maybe cuz i’m just now (fully) realizing i am trans and i like alastor (for some reason) and i just need to share it or say something about it
or is this just a sign i need to just get off the internet for some time?

Just as the title says. I’m working 40 hours a week at a full time job. Going to school this Summer semester (9 credits), Fall semester(18 credits), and Spring 2025 semester (18 credits). School is completely online. Managing about 25 hours/wk for CFA L1 studying as of now. When school picks back up that will probably roll back to 16/hr.
Just want people to know that if you’re doing something similar you’re not alone. I see many people in this subreddit where studying is their full time job and always felt a little bit discouraged.
Please feel free to share thoughts or concerns. I could be in over my head here.

The biggest thing holding me back in my life is not asserting what I genuinely want from someone or for myself.
Three things happen:

1. I withhold my true intentions (mostly)
2. I indirectly say what I want (sometimes)
3. I bottle up and say it like a mentos inside a coke bottle (less often)

Yet, when I do say what I want, I feel so good inside, even at the expense of the other person. For example, I remember during the flow of a convo with an art friend, I wanted to say a racist Asian joke about her eyes. And I did.
I found it funny, but understandably, she didn't. Apology and all, I was happy I said what was in my head, even at her expense.
Whereas if I held it in, I would feel restrained. Almost lying to myself for the sake of maintain a friendship under HER terms. And the operative word "her", can be any pronoun or entity.
But mannn...it is tough to be this courageous to say what YOU want, even if it offends people. I see non-infp comedians do it all the time--and to me they're the bravest kind of entertainer.
In the end, I almost feel like being THIS empathetic for people is a hinderance for my self. At the end of the day, isn't it MORE important to say what's in your head, than to make sure that person or group of people feel safe around you?

Hello Snap community. My name's Qinalo. If you've known me before, whether through reddit, KM's Discord, or the Snap Discord, you should know me most for one of 2 things -

1. I've played Hela since season 13 last June with a 63+% winrate each season
2. I am a Domino-truther

And these 2 things are related. You see, my favorite card in Snap is Jubilee. I play Hela because Hela is a deck that plays Jubilee. And I am a Domino-truther because my favorite card is Jubilee.
If I'm being honest, I often don't like being a Domino-truther. You can't be a Domino-truther if you are thin-skinned and bad at maths like KMBest (KMBest said himself that he can't do the Domino math on his podcast with Lamby). I have gotten into so many online debates over Domino in the past 10 months, at some point you get sick of it. Saying that Domino is a good card in some decks is one of those unpopular opinions that seem to trigger many in our community. But I guess that's the funny thing about being a truther - once you've had your moment on the way to Damascus, it's a cross you have to bear. Because truth can't be denied. There are FOUR LIGHTS!
When I started playing Domino, America Chavez was still 6/9 with her old ability. At the time, I played Domino in an Iron Lad deck with Jubilee, my favorite card. Then, when Loki came out, I played Domino in a deck with Loki, Iron Lad and Jubilee. This seemed to mystify and sometimes anger people. Still, if they asked, I would explain the reason to them. This was one example from 9 months ago-

Domino serves a lot of roles in the deck that give you an edge in the mirror. She's here to~
Improve your Jubilee and Lad pulls
Improve your draws after you Loki - drawing Domino early means Prof X and Dino are more likely still in your deck late
Improve your odds of Snowguard in opening hand to 40% with Chavez
Protect Loki from getting sniped by Dani (Mirage) in the mirror
Guarantee a T2 play so you don't lose a draw by playing Coulson
Act as a brick pull for your opponent's Loki
Help win priority on turn 3 for Cosmo
Confuses and tilts opponents

So yes, last week KMBest correctly pointed out that one reason to play Domino is to increase your chance of drawing your 1s on turn 1, but he's couldn't do the Domino math to figure out the rest.
The question is - why is Domino good in Jubi-Blink decks?
I read on reddit that Jeff Hoogland did the math on his stream that the chance of drawing the Jubilee-Blink combo is 73% without Domino, and 69% with Domino, so playing Domino is 4% worst. Jeff Hoogland has said himself that he used to be a high school math teacher, so I can't be all that surprised that he did the obvious math to the wrong problem. Also, clearly Jubilee is not his favorite card.
You see, the Domino math that explains why Domino is good in Jubilee-Blink decks is actually very simple, and you don't need a calculator or a college education to do it.
Yes, playing Domino hurts your probabilIty of drawing the T4 Jubilee, T5 Blink combo.
Yes, playing Domino hurts your probability of drawing Blink BY turn 5.
But -
What if what matters isn't drawing Blink BY turn 5, but instead what you wanted is to draw Blink ON turn 5, and not before? The solution to the problem is very obvious if you approach it as someone who loves to play Jubilee in Snap.
In Snap, you have 12 cards in a deck. Before each match, the 12 cards are shuffled into a random order. We can number them 1 to 12, 1-3 being the cards in your opening hand and 12 being the bottom.
When you play Jubilee a lot, you realize that when you play Jubilee on turn 4, what you care about is the #8 card - the top card, the card you would usually draw on turn 5. As I alluded to above, Jubilee is not the only card that cares about the #8 card - Iron Lad cares about the same card, as does Loki (indirectly). When you are playing any of these 3 cards, which card is the #8 card makes a very big difference to whether or not you will win or lose the match. And the reason to play Domino, the reason why Domino's ability is good, is that Domino's ability sees to it that she is NOT card #8. Nor #9, nor #10, nor #11.
So the math that solves the problem of why Domino is good in this deck is, as I said, very simple.
Without Domino, the chance that any specific card is card #8 is 1/12, or 8.3%.
With Domino, the chance that any specific card is card #8 is 1/11, or 9.1%. Same with card #9 and card #10.
Ok, so how does Domino help Blink? Well, Domino doesn't directly help Blink, but she does help Blink indirectly, and she helps Blink decks. Domino doesn't help BlInk directly because obviously you don't usually want to Jubilee INTO Blink (although that is not a disaster either). But Domino does help Blink indirectly, because there is a very good reason to not want to draw Blink BEFORE turn 5 - Leech (at least for now). Domino helps Blink decks because Blink decks play cards that are good Jubilee hits, cards that you want to be #8, #9 or #10.
So Domino is a good card for a deck that is playing both Jubilee and Blink. On the other hand, Jubilee-Blink isn't the best deck for Domino, because Jubilee-Blink has a specific combo it wants to hit. Domino is better in decks like Iron Lad or Loki that doesn't care about hitting a specific card #8, when any 5 or 6 cost card is a good Lad hit or topdeck draw on turn 5 or turn 6. Which is usually good enough.
So in other words, Domino's ability helps your deck draw its early plays ON turns 1 and 2, and helps your deck draw your late game plays ON turns 5 and 6. To me that's a very good ability and one that I've found that helps me win more than most other 2 cost cards. I prefer draw my small cards early and my big cards late, and not the other way around, and Domino helps with that, seems to me like a valuable ability. Where Domino does hurt most is on turn 3, so a deck playing Domino needs to have more turn 3 plays than usual. Zabu used to solve this issue easily by turning your 4 cost cards into turn 3 plays. Domino hurting your probability of drawing a specific card BY a specific turn diminishes as a match progresses, and is minimal to trivial by the final turn compared to playing any other normal card in your deck.
Anyway, I decided to write this so that in the future if someone asks why I'm playing Domino I can just refer them to this and make my life as a Domino-truther suck less.
The name is Qinalo, mon ami. Remember it...

I was just thinking today about how I was looking forward to middle school as a kid. Elementary school was so awfully boring, but I also didn't really have any real friends so that didn't help. Still though, the thing is that I spent a lot of time by myself and that involved watching a lot of TV. And I'm not from the US, I live in Europe, but the TV shows were all from the US. And they kinda gave me a really cool fantasy of what school was gonna be like after elementary school. And yeah I'm sure anyone reading this is gonna think that, well, of course it's not actually like on TV, TV is fiction. But trust me, this is gonna be way more disappointing than you think. But I mean, at least I wasn't bullied, most people just sorta left me alone instead, so I don't wanna act as if school must definitely be better in other places. It's just that, it was so boring.
Hmm where do I begin. Two things constantly said in these TV shows that left me confused, kids often talked about classes they take, consider taking and don't take. And kids often talked about "this person from my x class". This gave me the idea that, unlike in elementary school, I'd get to at least somewhat choose what classes I might wanna take. Not at all how it worked, at least not at the schools that were options for me at the time I went to middle school in the early 2000s, as far as I can tell. I say as far as I can tell cause it was never explained to me either, it was explained to my parents, so that they could maybe talk to me and figure what to do with me. Anyway, you either went to trade school, which was seen as a huge embarrassment to your parents cause you are an idiot that's probably not gonna do college, or for 7th and 8th grade you decide on one of two options; latin or modern languages. Both of those come with a certain set of classes, you can't not take any of them and you can't take any that don't come with it. My parents didn't put much thought in it, they were just told that since I did so well in elementary school I should go for latin, as that's what smart kids do. It doesn't come with many interesting classes to me, but to be honest neither did the other option. I would have much rather gone to trade school, which has a technical studies option too that would come in handy for college, but many people just didn't like having to say that their kid goes to the trade school. In fact, I had a few people in my group failing on purpose cause they told their parents they wanna go to trade school but were just not allowed, so they protested by failing. Anyway, the other thing that had me confused about that, all classes are taken with the same group. You're in a group of about 20 people, they all have the same classes cause you don't get to pick and choose, why not have them do every class together. I'm not sure if that's supposed to get the group to know each other better or something, but really the result is just that you really don't get to know so many people. If you don't like any in this group so much, well tough luck, everybody only hangs out with people of their own group. You weren't even allowed to sit with people from another group for lunch, they assigned you a seat at a table for your group. And you know, many of them are kinda the same. This school was just for those two options I mentioned anyway, which are for preparing kids to continue to college in the future, anybody wanting to do any trade or anything technical would be at a different school that focuses on those. Oh and also, not a single girl in our group, I didn't really care at the time but thinking back about it it does seem kinda weird to have years of middle school where all classes were boys only. Alright on to the next topic to pick. Hmm how about the whole thing with the activities at school they always have on TV. You know, clubs, sports, arts, dances, science fairs, even elections for something? Yeah I did totally wonder what my future school was gonna have. Which was nothing, in fact I went to three different schools from 7th to 12th grade and they all had nothing. It's just not a thing here I guess? There is not a single thing to do other than go to your set of classes that day and go back home. No special events of any kind either, just an occasional educational school trip. But certainly nothing that would make you meet any people with similar interests, or anything social at all really. Here's sorta how it works instead. You wanna do any of this, you sign up for it somewhere else and go there after school. Like my city did have a music school and a drawing school for example, so if you wanna go to a 2nd school on some days after going to your 1st school that day then you're free to do that. Of course it'll be with completely different people that you probably don't ever see anywhere else. I was in an unrelated sports team for example, we played a game on saturdays that is only attended by parents and practiced 2 hours after school one day in the week. And I never saw anyone on the team ever outside of those couple of hours per week. That's also one kinda problem with that isn't it, the kids learning music or drawing at those specific schools after their main schools probably got to show off the things they learned at times, but only fellow kids at those specific schools and their parents would ever know about it. They never get to show off the stuff they learned to kids at their main schools.
Here's a little short one for in between that is kinda odd, personal lockers. Nobody ever got their own locker, not at any of the three schools I went to. We just stuff all our crap in our backpack and bring it home. Then in the morning figure out what we need that day, and carry it all back to school in our backpack. In elementary school we had a desk at school with a little space for books, but from middle school you're not always in the same classroom so you get no desk with storage. Every classroom you go to you bring your heavy backpack with everything for that day in it.
This is getting really long already so here's my last one, the whole social groups and cliques thing full of stereotypes. Well, just having anything like that at all really. Because of the stuff I wrote earlier, but also some of the rules. Like I already said, you take every class with your group and sit at an assigned place with your group for lunch, you can't go find someone who likes the same stuff as you from outside your group. Except during one of the three breaks, two of those are 10 minutes and one is 30 minutes. During those, you can walk around outside and go talk to anyone you want. Of course they are all total strangers to you though as you have never seen them do anything anywhere, since there are no activities at school other than your classes. But here are some of the rules we had. No electronic devices, so you can't listen to or show anyone any music or play any videogames with anyone. I mean no phones either but almost all of those couldn't really do anything other than call and text at the time anyway. No 'distracting' hair, whether that is a weird style or having any part of it any color that does not appear natural in humans. No 'distracting' clothing either, but at least no uniforms. No tattoos or piercings of any kind, except earrings but one time an acceptable looking punk came in with a safety pin earring he did at home and that did not count as an allowed earring. Actually come to think of it, the punks were the only group. Everybody else just looked the same as everybody else. And these punks were just 4 people. We knew they were punks cause of their outfit, they pushed the boundaries of distracting. And sometimes too far, like with the safety pin. But they usually wore a flat cap, a denim jacket with a few punk patches and leather boots. Probably the coolest looking people at the school, mostly because I couldn't tell you what anyone else looked like now, I totally forgot everything except their face. Though I was also a bit of an exception. I was the guy with long hair. Not that anybody knew anything about me cause I didn't talk, but they did know me as the one guy in school with long hair. They couldn't really ban that as I don't think they could ban things for only one gender. But yeah, you only have the opportunity to talk to people not in your group during the short breaks, but how would you decide who to go talk to? You never talked to any of these kids, all you got is how they look, and they're barely allowed to change their look from anything default.
Alright I'm gonna end it here. I guess the conclusion is that if you make school as absolutely boring as possible then there is not gonna be as much trouble, I think that might have been the goal at least? Just come in, get your education that day, go home, no drama. Is that better? I wouldn't know, I haven't been to other schools of course. But I sure couldn't help but wish it had a little more going on like they did on TV.

I'm solo, city course, got paired with 2x 25 year old athletic friends and a older gentleman. Introductions fine. The older man was the problem person. We are walking he's golf carting.
At tee of he starts stating a rule that does not exist. Our city rules are very basic even dress code is extremely lax. Yes a twisted sister no sleeves t-shirt is allowed. Anyways the 3 of us are like we never heard of the rule. We oblige out of politeness. As we progress the hole I recover a Burnr head cover. I pick it up as if it was his? He says I seen that and I left it, so I just say ok return it to the pro-shop and give it to him since he's on his own cart he says "I guess". I'm like that's a little dick'ish but ok.
Second hole he starts talking to the 25 years old's how good he is. The 25 years out drive him 50+ yards.
3rd hole he hits a bad drive. Takes a mulligan with a 2 min warm up. I hit a bad drive and suck it up. At the end of the 3rd hole he tells us he's ambidextrous and can hit both right and left all day long, as we had a lefty. Everyone is like cool story bro.
4th hole he drives, hits in the water maybe 80y. Laughs and said takes a mulligan, second is 100y in the water. Then third ball "drop" he puts on the fairway, lol. I didn't drive great like 150y. But then I piped the next shot out of the rough 170y and back in the game. The 2 young guys over hit their 2nd balls into the next fairway.
He drives up to me in his cart pulling a Tokyo drift and tells me "hey BUDDY pick up the pace" as there is a group behind us. Now this infuriates me. TSN turning point, I realized I'm not having fun and I am not his mans buddy. I read threads like this about being too kind to people and sucking it up. But I'm like no, I want this round to be fun, I paid for fun.
I look back and I see the 3-some that has been on our tails for two holes. Two older gentleman and mid age female. But one of the men was wearing a lumberjack coat, I'm like his is the group for me. I wait for my current group all to tee off as I was thinking of ditching. The old guy starts telling the one young guy all the things he did wrong on his drive despite he out drove the old man 40y and is closer to the pin. I'm like fuck this. I tell "buddy" strait up I don't want to play with you, I'm going to join the group behind. Nothing dramatic happens.
I wait and ask the next group hey can I crash your three some as I told them the group I was in had a problem person. They said absolutely. This next group was the most favorite randoms I have ever met, this one guy with surgery issues had so much positivity I have never seen anything like it, super positive, super funny and the girl was his daughter and she was awesome they inquire about the problems but I vaguely describe them. We got on the group I ditched and we are on their heels next hole.
Eventually the second last hole we caught up to them on the tee box, the girl tells the older man "pick up the pace"..
MONEY!

Hi I’m 25 and for context I currently live in Maryland for 7 months now and have made no progress in my life here at all, I am debating going back to college for a medical career which is so funny for me to even think because I went to college for nursing and didn’t finish to become an esthetician and because of covid I left that field as well and haven’t been back until literally 2 weeks ago when I got a job to do lash extensions and have been disappointed since.
I honestly never thought that I wouldn’t be the person to not go to college and I think that because I got a license as an esthetician I didn’t really process how I really didn’t go to college I did a vocational education basically and lost my job because of covid and was so depressed about it I didn’t go back to it which was useless.
I still had hopes of becoming an esthetician again when I got this job as a lash tech to realize I have been out of the game in a long time and definitely draining on my body specially all the back pain, all that for not much reward since the other techs have told me that honestly they get paid very little specially when I told them where I used to live some lash techs could make up to 1,200-1,400 a week and here they were making half that I felt more discouraged because I already felt this wasn’t what I wanted to do anymore for a career.
I got desperate recently since the past couple of months I’ve been walking on a tight rope verging being fully broke every month and feeling like a bag of waste and that I wasted so much time of my life in a delusion that I was okay and in fact I am not which brought me to 2 hours ago scrolling career paths online and I found a posting for travel health agencies and the pay definitely caught my attention first but also the position, to think if I have continued my college degree and had been a nurse I could be in a different place that I am right now.
But not to dwell in the what if’s that I cannot change since I don’t currently life in a Si-fi movie with a best friend scientist that will create a time machine for me, I want good advice on what are my options and realistically what would be most beneficial for my future.
The path I was thinking of choosing is not very clear but I was very interested in some of the positions in the traveling agency’s I saw and looked into and some of them where physical therapy, Cath tech, and a CT technician where the only ones I had enough time to do research on but there seemed to be several others but they all still mean going back to school for probably at least 4 years.
I guess my biggest worry is not really going back to school but the financial, I currently tip toe the lines of having a 0 balance in by bank every month and some credit card debt that I used to pay for the vocational school (about 5k, I feel like when I say cc debt some people always think it’s over 10k so maybe not that bad), but I’m scared of doing school and working, rent, car, insurance, I already try to work a lot now even babysitting on my off time to make sure I’m always bringing some money in every day and I’m just scared of making a mistake and it costing me what I already don’t have.
I also don’t know if this is important but a reason that kept me from going back to school before is that I am married we are separated but not yet divorced and I couldn’t get financial aid anymore since I basically made too much money bc he was on the tax return.
That’s honestly all the information I could think of right now but can always say more for clarity and I’m just hoping for some guidance or advice on what to do, since I’m literally writing this after having a small mental breakdown and considering being a sugar baby (although I’m not sexy enough of that the idea went away really quickly lol). Any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you.

I don't think you see how thoroughly deep you can hurt me right now. I don't see that awareness. The vulnerability in the abandon I suffer from. The abandonment of self. Your worst case scenarios...the thoughts you have about what evil I might have done to others and what I might be perpetrating on you right now. They don't begin to touch the odious things living in my hollow moments. Waiting for you to try to see me. I handed that to you. Have once more a lesson in vulnerability from me, though this one is far different. The trigger to what you could make into a landslide of any shape and variety of your righteous choosing. It could be a fitting final note to a creation story we started with a promise to something long ago betrayed. The devil here, for me, is in the details you seem to overlook. Attuned to nearly every environment but mine, now new. Formidable a foe to all but yourself, now that the man who knows which way the barrel goes in a firefight has been plowed under in a thick fog that seems to say again: you know the ways in which you earned this. A third betrayal awaits some version of the threads I could be branching out from this moment and for all the agency that trusting fool, in that reality, can muster, I think he will know what he has earned and why. I don't need to hear your results on the simulations run about why I am handing you my neck, jugular so perfectly framed for when the justification to strike returns. I think I would probably find them disheartening. What I need is some affirmation that the voices emanating up from the very middle of me about you weren't echoes of hope or ignorant delusion. I don't mean anything small when I tell you I choose you. Look at the landscape of that choice and tell me what have I earned. What penance or prize do I qualify for in a sandboxed world of optimized paths and scores forever kept? I can tell you why the trigger is yours and it isn't to do with fellatio or the company kept amidst the blessings of my overburdened mind. I can tell you and I have been showing you. The way you love yourself is the way you love the one you are with. Firefights work on multiple levels, you see. Just like we used to. Though your spine leaves a lot to be desired, your smiles move me. Even the ones that aren't for me. That's one way I know I have earned what I get. Your devotion is impressive, even when it doesn't consider me. Your love...something I'm clearly too selfish of even on the days I struggle to convince myself I have felt it and know what it is. My landscape. My reasons all and whatever I have left. This is me choosing you. This isn't business as usual or a hopeful hail Mary. Not a lesson or a game or something to outwit. This is love.

I - lead on 1 - have been salsa dancing for about a year and recently Ive been taking classes at a new studio that my friend recommended.
They have been breaking all my knowledge I have know about salsa.
From single turn to lots of things. e.g. the instructor says to make follow sigle left turn on 6 and make sure they turn clearly by using momentum and leading them with clear circular motion so they come back to where they were at easily by me rather than they just turn themselves without my leading. But other studios make them turn on 5.
And there are so many small details that I have never thought about.
Honestly everything does make sense to me and the students are legit advanced dancers who I see at social all the time.
I thought I was good enough at social that I could dance with anyone and usually get good feedback from follows, and they told me im one of their go to leads.
But since I started taking their classes, I started doubting myself if I am doing everything correctly and their way to teach is very different from what I have learned from other studios.
So everytime I dance at social I hesitate how I should lead. Even if I consider some moves very simple before, it is not simple anymore befause there are a lot to think to make all moves work correctly.
Now I struggle to keep up with other classmates in their class but I want to be good there..
I think I should forget everything I have learned from other studios to make it work so I can actually accept their knowledge clearly...
I am still confused why their teaching and other studios teaching styles are so different, and why there are all the advanced dancers take their classes.
Are they the one that actually teach original salsa? Is the reason they are different because they are from performance dancers?
I still have blast with what Ive learned from other studios whenever I go to social. And many follows didnt really get the way I learned from the new studio because they didnt learn from them.
Does anyone have this experience and did you end up learning both or just chose most common way to dance?

So am I the only person who has thought of making a cartridge for the 64 that is connected to let's say a gamecube cd reader or vice versa? To put it in better terms say you want to play Wind Waker on a 64 for whatever reason you can just take the cd slap it into the reader and it would convert the game to make the 64 read it or say from the Super Nintendo to the 64. Theoretically this is possible I just don't know how to do it

So, if you watched the season, you know how things went for each couple. Was there anyone in the cast this season you thought would have been more aptly paired with another cast mate? I was thinking Lindy and Binh could have been a good couple. And this is terrible but I gotta say... I would have looooved to hate-watch the train wreck that would have been Morgan and Miguel.
Also, I think Alexis had a thing for Morgan and that's why she kept inserting herself into that marriage. If Morgan was so inclined they might have been a good match.

I feel like I must be going crazy, I spend most of my days crying over having to be alive, and not in the way that most people would. It's been like this for months, I'm so alone in my thoughts. I cry because I'm already dead, and always dead. I'm always alive, I'll always have not been born. Every state of me that has or will exist does exist. I can't do it. I don't know how to explain this to anyone, I worry no-one understands. I just try to ignore these thoughts but it's so painful, it hurts. I'm getting it all wrong. I'm fucking up every one of me. I want it over with, I want to be dead but it would be all for nothing, I'm already dead. I want to burn every inch of my body, I want to feel all the pain in the universe. I always wonder what's happening now in the "future". What I'm thinking of now. Am I thinking of me now? It's all already over, I've already lived my life and I don't even know what I've done. I haven't grown old but I already have. I'm terrified I'll blink and I'll be dying. I'll have missed every second in between, I don't know where I'll have gone. How is everyone ok living like this? I wish I'd never understood the 4th dimension. I can handle depression but this is something much more sinister, it's like a sick fucking game. I am in the middle of an incredibly sick game. I must be being punished, I must have done something wrong. I can't do this. I can't do it. I'm (almost) mute in person, everyone says I seem empty, like I barely have any thoughts running through me. I don't speak because I don't know how I could possibly get this out. I'd sound insane. I'm not insane, I must be more sane than anyone else in the world to feel the way I do. This is horrific. I don't know what entity could possibly be so evil as to do this to someone. This is a sick game and I have no way of getting out. Dying isn't a way out of this, it's simply a continuation. This will never end. Nothing will ever end. I think I must already be in hell, because this truly is eternal torture. I'm being tortured every second of every day and I will be until the end of time, there is no end of time. There's no beginning. We go through one way but time has no ways, THIS IS SICK. Some SICK FUCKS. I'm so alone. I'm alone forever in this.

My gf blindsided me after 6 years together. We had a great relationship and she pulled the classic avoidant move. Didn’t communicate anything to me and acted like she was happy then dumped me out of the blue saying we felt “stagnant”, had a “gut feeling” and she’s been checked out for awhile. Literally 2 weeks prior was our 6 year anniversary and I got her a very expensive necklace. She seemed so excited and happy at the time to receive it but she obviously knew what she was planning to do in the back of her mind. If she had any respect for me or herself should she have returned it? I didn’t ask for it back because I’m not petty like that but the principal of HER not returning it really bothers me. Thoughts?

Hi I’m a 18 yo female and I’ve been contemplating suicide for over a year now but it’s really taking over my thoughts. I feel like I’m broken. I have good grades, I’m conventionally attractive and my body looks great too, I have a lot of friends who cares about me, I have nice things in life. But I also have parents that hate each other and I’m stuck between them, victim of sexual abuse when I was a kid and I just got rejected of med school. I feel like I put so much effort into life but it never get recognized. I have that facade, that smile that I keep when I’m with my friends because I’m suppose to be the funny one and I’m trapped in that character that I created. I cannot stop smiling for two seconds without someone asking me if I’m okay. I’ve been avoiding my friends since last week when I got rejected from med school because it’s either I put a smile on my face and act like I’m okay or I don’t smile and be sad but I get ask what is wrong with me and the usual speech on how things will get better. I cut all contacts with my friends for almost a week know and I have to go to school tomorrow for a final oral and everyone will be there and I’m so stressed. I truly wish I could sleep and never wake up. I forgot to mention I have an eating disorder and I just binged. ED is litteraly one of the most painful thing I have experienced. I hate myself for not being able to get over it, it’s been 4 years now and I feel like it will never end. Im tired of suffering. Every time I have a glimpse of joy I know it will not last long. I binge 2 times a week and I’m trapped in that cycle. I feel like shit and I hate life, I hate my life. I wonder how people still go through life when it’s so hard and so fucking painful. I wish I could end everything. I hope I will not get to my 20’s because I know things will only get worse if I’m not fixed by that time. I’m so tired of everything, I wish I could die peacefully in my sleep, a natural way. Please what med can make me die with certainty. I beg you I cannot stay here anymore. It’s not a reckless decision, I’ve been thinking about it for a year now and my mind hasn’t change. I would really like some recommendations. I live in Canada so getting a gun will be hard but I wish I could just shoot my head. Instant death.

Hello Everyone, it’s absolutely insane how much that place has affected so many of us and our lives. I just wanted to come on here and say I appreciate all of you beautiful people for speaking out about the harm you endured at ballet5:8. Thinking back to it all now brings back a lot of emotions, honestly a lot of it is all a blur, but I’ll try and see if I can get any experiences I had typed out on here in the future. I had started dance at B58 when it was still TP, it was so amazing. I knew from the start that I loved ballet and later knew I wanted it to be my career. And I do feel like there was a solid mission when it was TP, but as b58 grew I just felt like that “Christian” mission was lacking. And the care I felt from staff was starting to disappear, I didn’t feel like they really cared about me as a person much anymore. It all felt so hypocritical how the studio and especially the company functioned, when I started to do more things with the company later in my training I was so shocked at how staff was treated. It was truly awful to see how J talked to and treated trainees and staff in rehearsals. As the studio grew to b58 I moved through the ranks quick, but as the years went by that place slowly sucked all the joy out of me and my love for dance. By age 16, I had nothing left and quit in 2017. Looking back I’m so glad I left when I did, because from what I heard from other ballet friends still there, the place really burst into flames that next season when a valuable staff member left. But it’s still tough that I felt I had to quit when I loved ballet so much and they took that from me. My own education was set back for a time, because I was dancing so much all day. It started to feel like a job, and at 15/16 years old your just a kid. I thought it’s what I needed to do to get to where I wanted to be, but it obviously didn’t go as planned. I do feel that there was some manipulation and that me alongside other younger students were taken advantage of because of our age. I was just a kid, and the situations and things I had to go through were way out of my league. I struggled for a long time after quitting ballet, it was my whole life and identity, but after many years and help from loved ones I have found joy in dance again. I may not be a professional ballet dancer, but I still love movement and appreciate the arts so much. I hope as more of us speak out about b58, people can see the harm they have done and are doing to dancers now. Thank you all for listening to my word vomit 🤪❤️