Blank pictures of thermometers

Hello. I got a teeny tiny toaster oven for baking my clay. A 6" x 6" bathroom wall tile fits inside it perfectly.
I'm wondering what can be used to grip the tile safely? This thing is so small that using oven mitts, even the silicone pinchers, is just too cumbersome.
I found a stainless steel hot plate gripper on Amazon for $12.59. Almost as much a the oven. LOL (Callaron brand ?)
Because I've never used anything like this in my kitchen I figured I'd ask for ideas here. Newbie to Reddit but so impressed with the caliber of useful responses. 👍
I can't really tell if these grippers work well on flat things? The pictures shown on listing show mostly things with a lip (bowls, trays etc.)
Is there something else that might work? I love Harbor Freight Tools (hacks & prices!). Maybe there's a tool that would work better?
Thank you!
P.S. not relevant to my question but I've tested the temperature with an oven thermometer and carefully labeled the knob. I'll also be baking flat or less than an inch tall items so the clay won't be too close to the heating element. Only mentioning this because I know this can be an issue with polymer clay and toaster ovens. I also got extra tiles so I can have other things being prepped while I'm baking.

When I was but a sprout of a potato I had a miserable teacher. We'll call her Mrs. B. I was in the first grade and around seven years old.
One day Mrs. B finishes up her lesson earlier than she anticipated and she needed to fill time until recess. So she hands out paper to each of us and instructs the class to draw a picture of the two people we love the best. Once we finish we have to have her check it off before we could go out to recess.
Context: My parents were never married and young when they had me. Recently, I had been trying to get them back together. In my little seven year old mind I thought this picture would be it. If I drew a picture that showed them how much I loved them they, in turn, would realize they love each other and we could be a family.
Excitedly, I get my chunky crayons out and proceed to draw and color as carefully as I can. It has to be perfect.
I wanted to put them in a field of flowers, but my flower skills were limited. Tulips and sunflowers. That was it and they were NOT good enough. Then I came up with the best idea. Heart. Shaped. Flowers. Pink and red ones. As many as I can fit. By the time I finished, recess had already started and I was the only one left in the classroom.
I sign my name on the back, put away my crayons, and walk up to get my smiley face stamp from Mrs. B. I'm so proud and cannot wait to show my picture to my mom and dad.
Mrs. B looks over my picture, turns to me and stone cold says, "there's no such thing as heart shaped flowers." She proceeds to rip my picture in half, right down the middle, and THROWS IT IN THE TRASH!! Mrs. B hands me a new piece of paper and says I can't go out to recess until I draw a new picture.
I am shocked. The kind of shock where you don't know what to say or do. I'm not even heartbroken yet. Meekly, I take the paper, sit at my desk and just stare at the blank paper.
Mind you, the only rule Mrs. B gave was to draw a picture of the two people we loved. No other requirements, no other instructions.
As I'm realizing that I didn't break any rules or do anything wrong I get pissed. It was like a fire was lit inside of me. This was completely unjustified and I was not about to allow that to happen.
I grab my black crayon and scribble a big black circle in the middle of the paper. I take out all of my anger scribbling as hard as I can. Making it as dark and angry as I felt.
Once I felt better, I calmly put my crayons away, walked over to Mrs. B's desk and SLAMMED that paper onto her desk. Before she has a chance to say anything I litterally skipped out the classroom door and down the hall to enjoy my recess.

This is my first reddit post and honestly it's a lot so please bear with me. I'm still trying to figure out how to process everything and make sense of it all. I guess we will start at the very beginning. My boyfriend,( we will call him michael) and I just passed 6 months together. Honestly, hes been great. We clicked pretty fast and have a great bond. I feel safe and comfortable around him and can communicate in a way ive never been able to before. It just kinda works. I definitely fell hard and fast for him and from what I could gather, the feeling was mutual. We had met on tinder in early October and went on our first date in November. We made it official shortly after our first date.
After we started dating, he had briefly mentioned that he had a friend who had a bit of a crush on him. I told him I didn't mind and I trusted him. As long as he kept things respectful to me, it didn't matter. He then explained that her crush was a bit obsessive and he actually wanted to push her out of his life and needed advice. Apparently, this friend, (we will call her beth) was pregnant and wanted Michael to be her baby's God Father. He said that she would follow him and got jealous when he was with other girls. I found this kind of odd but he swore they were just friends, so I told him the best way to let her down gently and let him do his thing. About two weeks later, he told me she was out of the picture. I didn't really care either way but the communication was cool.
Anyways, I pretty quickly forgot about all of that because it was irrelevant and I wanted to focus on our relationship. One night when we were hanging out, he got a snapchat notification. He turned away from me to respond to it but I didn't think much of it, just asked who that was. He said it was just a friend (we will call this one Jen) and they were catching up. I had never heard of her before but I didn't care, I just said cool and dropped it. Just like before, I quickly forgot about that conversation because again,it was irrelevant and I had better things to think about. I trusted him so why should I care who he talks to? He is his own person after all and I understand the importance of friendships.
Fast forward about another two weeks later, him and I had our first argument. I dont remember what it was about. Most likely something small and pointless because I had a stressful day at work but nothing too serious. We did not talk much that day. Later that night, I apologized and we talked it over. Everything was fine. He then told me that earlier in the day, an old friend that he had removed off social media readded him and messaged him. We will call her Molly. Apparently she had just noticed she was removed and was upset and wanted to know why. He told me that he sent her a message explaining that he didn't see her in his life long term and doesn't feel the need to keep someone around who won't be around forever so he didn't want to be friends anymore. He then removed her again. At this point I thought the way he acted was odd. I had never heard of molly before, he waited until he had already removed her before telling me about the conversation, she only came into the picture when we had our first argument and it got me thinking about the other girls who were just friends. I definitely started to over think a bit and was more than curious about who these people were and what their relationship to him was. But he swore they were all just friends. So I continued to believe him.
We went a long period of time without anything coming up so once again I forgot about it and moved on with my life. Him and I were doing great. We were young dumb and in love. I felt truly happy, something I hadn't experienced in a long time. I felt like I genuinely found someone who was right for me and I didn't need to second guess whether or not he was gonna cheat on me. He occasionally would ask to see my phone but I didn't have anything to hide so I allowed him. I had set a boundary with him that if he ever felt concerned or needed reassurance, he needed to bring it up to me first. After we talked it over then he could see my phone, but we would always go through it together. This seemed fair to me. My phone was never off limits, there just needed to be open communication. Anyways, he would always offer for me to see his phone in return but I would decline. I didn't feel the need to and I had learned from past experiences that if you go digging, you will most likely see something you can't unsee.
Then one day he needed to have his wisdom teeth removed. I dropped him off in the morning for his surgery and I was told I needed to hold on to his personal belongings and wait until the operation was over. No big deal. I know this is wrong and I shouldn't have but finally curiosity got the best of me and I looked on his phone. At first it wasn't malicious. I genuinely was just curious. But of course, I saw things I wish I could unsee. It started off on tiktok. In one of his conversations with a friend, he poured his heart out, explaining how he was still so in love with his ex and missed her like crazy. Of course it stung a little to see the things he said but I knew there was someone before me so it wasn't that surprising. That was until I saw those messages had been sent in mid October. So of course i was like huh.we started talking early October and dating early November. So clearly he wasn't over his ex when he met me. But I was willing to forgive it. It wasn't a deal breaker. But Instead of putting the phone down to protect my peace and his privacy, I kept looking. And boy did I find a lot. I found lots of old text messages from contacts that were not saved. Most of then were hard-core sexting and flirting. This dude literally acted like a dog.And yeah it was again hard to see but it was before me and he wasn't like that anymore. With me, he was gentle and respectful and never treated me like an object. Some people just go through a phase and that's okay. Again, it wasn't a deal breaker. But finally i found some very passionate, lovey, intimate messages with an unsaved contact. I was immediately drawn in by the kind words and heartwarming love messages. Whoever this was, they cared for eachother very strongly. I almost immediately felt heartbroken. Not because she was a past love interest, but because he had never spoken to me the way he spoke to her. I read all the way from the top of the conversation. Months worth of love confessions, paragraphs of strong feelings, longing to be with one another, etc. But finally halfway through in one of the paragraphs I see a name. Molly I was shattered. Molly was the girl who supposedly was removed months before him and I even met. The one that was "just a friend" who messaged him and he removed her because he didn't want to be friends anymore. Yeah clearly they were more than just friends. I was livid and felt crushed. Why did he feel the need to lie about something so unnecessary? I wouldn't have been mad if he had told the truth about who she was. But then it got me thinking. Was Beth truly just a friend? Was Jen truly just a friend? What was the actual relationship? I gathered up as much as I could but then the nurse came to the lobby to tell me he was awake and ready to go home. I kind of panicked and in my hurry, I forgot to delete the screenshots out of his phone.
We get in the car and I give him his phone, he's still pretty loopy. Obviously I had a million questions to ask him but I knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to have that conversation so I put my feelings aside and decided it could wait. Well he wanted to take pictures of his bloody swollen face and send it to his uncle. In the process, he sees the screenshots i had forgotten to delete off his phone and immediately screams what the f*** is this? I tried to talk calmly and explain that now wasn't a good time to talk about it and it could wait. He kept pressing "what the f*** did you do? Who the hell is this?" In my mind I thought "uh dude, you tell me." But didn't want to escalate it while he was drugged up. I decided the best option was to simply say that I wasn't mad , I stilled planned on taking care of him while he recovered and that we would need to have a conversation when he was in a better state of mind. He just started sobbing. Oh boy. I kind of ignored it as much as I could. I drove us to the store to get ice cream and other soft foods he could eat before taking us back to my apartment. I helped get him set up in my bedroom and he still was crying. So much so he started coughing out blood. It smelled awful and got everywhere. He was a wreck. I felt bad for everything. I felt guilty for going on his phone behind his back, for leaving the screeshots on his phone and for him crying. It took several hours but eventually I got him to calm down. I kept my word and continued to take care of him until he was recovered.
Finally when enough time had passed I decided it was time to sit down and talk about it. I explained that obviously I had found messages and i wanted an explanation. He told me molly was just a friend, and very clearly it was more than that. I also explained that I had a suspicion that he was not fully honest about his relationship with Jen and Beth either. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he had no idea what I was talking about and they were just friends. I remained calm and explained that I won't be mad at him or leave him. I told him I didn't want to fight. I just felt as though I deserved to know the truth if I was going to continue to be with him, especially since he was still in contact with Beth and Jen while we were dating. We continue to go back and forward for several hours with no progress. I decided then if he didn't feel I deserved the truth, I would find out for myself. I took the screenshots I had found and reached out to the contacts one by one.
Let's start with Beth. She was the quickest to respond. I briefly explained who I was and that I was hoping to ask some questions about my partner because I felt like i was being lied to and was hoping she could fill in some of the gaps. She texted back and simply asked "do you work at blank" I responded that yes, I did. She then asked if I lived at a specific apartment complex. I said yes and was creeped out. She knew where I worked and lived. She then asked if she could call me. I agreed. For some context, he told me that she was a friend he had met in school. He explained that she had gotten out of a rough relationship and he wanted to make sure she was okay when it happened. That's how they became close. He explained that they would hang out all the time and eventually she became obsessed with him. Well during my phone call with her, I heard a very different story. Yes, they met in school and initially started off as friends. But, slowly with time as they started to spend more and more time together, they started to catch feelings. He said I love you first. And she proved this with screenshots. She also sent me pictures of them holding hands and kissing. She explained that they never officially started dating but they definitely were more than just friends. Their relationship was much more physical and romantic than platonic. She also told me that they had hooked up about 3 times. She explained that they had eachothers location and pretty frequently they would make plans then he would last minute cancel. So she would see what he was doing and would see him at two very specific addresses. Visiting my work or my apartment. She eventually asked him where he was and he told her that I was his cousin and was trying to get out of a rough relationship so he was helping me. I felt sick. No wonder why she was "obsessed" he was borderline dating her, telling her he loved her, and then started to ditch her when he made things official with me. Then it killed me to realize that even though they never had an official title, he was dating the two of us at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I ended up apologizing to her for everything he did and told her I never would have agreed to be his if I knew he was entertaining someone else. Michael overheard this phone call between us and looked like he had seen a ghost after. All he did was started crying, said she was lying, and that she was only a friend. I asked "so....these screenshots and pictures are all made up?" No response. He knew he was busted.
I decided I needed to take some time to process that information and I didn't want to say something I would regret. I let him stay at my place because he had nowhere else to go and I went to stay with a friend. He kept calling and texting but I couldn't deal with it. I cried all night. I was a mess. I should have just accepted that I was cheated on and lied to but I couldn't leave. I needed to know the truth. So I kept reaching out. Next up was Jen. I never was able to reach her, but I found out through Michael and Beth that Jen was Beth's best friend. But even more than that, I found out the three of them had a threesome together. He had told me previously that he had never been interested in a threesome and would never want to have one. Then I found out not only did he have one and lied about it, but it was with two girls he told me were just friends.
I went back to my apartment the next day and tried to talk stuff out. He just continued to say they were just friends. I finally snapped. I screamed and cried and told him that I just wanted to know the truth. That I deserved the truth. He looked me in the eyes, pinky promised me no more lies. We talked for a while and basically he explained that he never had an official title with Beth. They were very close but he basically just used her to pass time because he had nothing better to do. He said he loved her because that's what she wanted to hear and he treated her like a partner without ever having any real feelings for her. He knew as soon as he met me that he wanted me but didn't want to hurt her so he just kind of pushed her to the side but kept her in the picture. I felt so sad for her. He used her. He led her on. He treated her like an object and then threw her to the side when he met me.I asked why he lied about having a threesome. He said he felt ashamed Apparently they started to do it and then he chickened out so he didn't really count it. That made sense to me. I was pissed that he lied but at least it made sense. Next I asked why he told me Beth and Jen were just friends instead of being honest about the relationship. He said he never had feelings for either and they never had the official title so he didn't think it was important and he did not want to scare me off. I explained to him that although I understand why he lied to me, I didn't forgive him. I warned him that I would not tolerate anymore lies and obviously for the time being I did not trust him. I told him I wouldn't break up with him but if I found out he lied again, he would lose me. I also told him I considered what he did as cheating since he was seeing us at the same time after him and I became mutually exclusive. After we concluded our conversation about Beth and Jen, I started thinking about molly and the messages I had seen. I asked him what their relationship was, he said just friends. I freaked and told him to give me his phone. I found their old messages and told him to read them. "Hey goofball, you awake? Well if you're not I have something impossible to say to you. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. I love you lots and want you to know that no matter what happens I will always care about you. To me you are perfect. Amazing. And attractive asf. You are also very sweet and caring and adorable. Don't think about the negative things about yourself that will drag you down. You are way more than that. This is an official goodnight and I love you goofball." This is just one of the MANY messages sent back and forward. He reads the conversation and just goes oh. He then says he didn't remember any of that happening. We began to argue and the story he tried to spin was that his life must have been so traumatic that his brain literally deleted his past memories and replaced them with false memories where he didn't do these things that he is ashamed of. He got caught in lies and after so long was just like...whoa I did that? I had no idea I didn't remember. Technically I didn't lie because I told what I thought the truth was the way I remembered it. I told him I wanted to break up and he cried and begged me to forgive him and stay. I listened.i tried to move on and make things normal again but I couldn't stop thinking about all the lies and what else he might have been lying about. Then randomly one day, Molly added me back on social media. She was the last and took over 1.5 months so honestly I figured I'd never get ahold of her. I was genuinely surprised to see her show up on my friend list and reached out. Once again back story, he told me that she lived in Wisconin and they had never met. He said he was also using her for nudes and to pass time, same way he used Beth. He had told me that he removed her off social media months before him and I even met and aside from that one night she reached out, he hadn't heard from her in forever. I found out from her that she did not live in Wisconsin, she lived in the same state as us That to her, they were definitely dating and in love. I also saw a messaged saved on snapchat where he had been texting her in October (after we met) and even sent her the same pickup lines he had sent me. he had cheated with not just one, but two (at least that I know of) other girls.
At this point I had been broken so bad I didn't even feel the pain anymore. I just went numb. I had no more tears left to cry and couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I stopped eating and taking care of myself. I just went to work, came home, slept and repeated. I had watched the man that I loved and adored, one that made me feel so safe and happy turn into a monster right in front of me. He wasn't him anymore. I finally could see him for who he was. But I still didn't leave. He told me that he had only ever slept with three girls. I later found out it was actually six. He told me he had never been in love before. I later found out he tells basically every girl he's ever talked to that he loves them AND genuinely was in love with his ex before me. He told me after his ex and him broke up, he had a rebound but he only hooked up with her once before ghosting her. I found out they actually dated for several weeks, hooked up several times, and she had taken cute couple pictures with him and posted them on social media. He said that he never wanted to take those pictures, she made him put his Hands on her and pose and if he didn't cooperate, she would throw a tantrum like a child. One last thing I think that is important to mention,when we went on our first date, I told him I don't do hookups. We stayed out late and hit it off really well so I offered for him to stay the night at my place. I said I was okay with cuddling and whatever but I did not want to have sex. He seemed okay with it. I went to bed and then when I woke up, my pants were off and he was inside me. He claimed he didn't know I was asleep and thought I wanted it because apparently my butt kept rubbing against him while we were spooning.
It's been about a month since all that and I'm still just meh. I haven't exactly forgiven him but I also don't hate him. Things are normal. I act normal we still do couple things. But I can't help but wonder if he is just using me the same way he used them. I mean after all, he lives in my apartment rent free and asked me to buy him a truck for his birthday. He says I should forgive him because he genuinely doesn't remember doing these things and he didn't mean to lie to me. He said he's so ashamed of who he was but isn't like that anymore. He doesn't associate with who he was and wants to be given a chance to show that he is different. But can I ever forgive him? Should I? Where do I go from here? I feel so lost and confused. I dont think I'll ever be able to trust his word again. I dont feel secure. He broke me so bad I can't even feel anymore. Am I crazy and somehow making this a bigger deal than it is? Can I ever have the man I fell in love with back? I'm sorry if this was confusing. I'm typing this all out in one sitting. Please help me because I genuinely am so lost and I don't want to tell any friends because I don't want them to hate him.
TLDR: My boyfriend cheated on me with at least two other girls that I know of at the moment and has lied to me about too many things to count. His argument is that It doesn't actually count as cheating because he technically didn't date these people and he didn't remember doing it.

I was almost followed into my apartment building last night but I'm not clear what this person's intentions were. I'm a woman in my 20s living in Brooklyn, I'm from NY, and have heard and been warned about walking home alone, but still have never experienced something like being followed, until last night. I was coming home from work and I got off at my regular train stop and started to walk to my apartment which is about 2 avenues from the train. I had both my earbuds in, but I wasn't listening to anything. I start to pass the park that is about a block away from me and I can feel and hear someone behind me, shuffling their feet as they walk. Not a problem, there was plenty of people around, both in the park and on the streets and sidewalks around it. It was about 7:30pm and still light out but the sun was going down. I get to the traffic light at the corner of the park when I notice this person is still behind me. I turned my head to the left slightly so I can see this person in my peripheral vision and I could see they were wearing a brown hoodie and had long brown hair, but still couldn't tell if it was a man or woman. I turned back to the street, crossed when the light changed and made a left, the next block was my street. I wanted to test if this person would pass me or walk in the same direction, so as I made it to my block I abruptly turned right and this person did the same. I'm now on the right side of my street but would have to cross to the left side where my apartment is, so as I was walking straight up my block I really quickly turned left and squeezed through a tiny space between two parked cars to cross the street, and I notice this person speeds up and does the exact same thing in the exact same spot!! This is when my heart started pounding. I started speeding up a little bit and I'm about 4 apartment buildings away from mine, and I hear this person's shuffling feet keeping pace with mine and speed up as I do, and I hear a single manly deep breath behind me. This is where I feel a little dumb, instead of continuing to walk up the street to a cafe or stop and tell someone (there was a few people walking on the sidewalk) I thought, "ok, our front lobby door locks whenever it's closed all the way, and if you don't have a key you can't get in, I'll just get inside there, close the door, and see what happens." So I get to my front 2 steps, jump inside the open lobby door, and immediately turn around and slam it shut. As I do this, this MAN WALKED RIGHT INTO THE DOOR and I come face to face with this man behind the glass. He was maybe in his late 20s to early 30s, light-skinned black man, with long brown almost waist length braids. He looked feminine and was actually quite pretty, but the look on his face was strange, like he was not fully there. His eyes were wide but the rest of his face blank, and he never looked away from me. Now get this, he never opens his mouth to say anything, but instead keeps those wide eyes on mine, holds up both of his hands, in one he's holding his iphone, which has a dead battery symbol on it and in the other hand is an ID, but it doesn't look like him on it. I totally should have read it, maybe it had the address to the same apartment on it, but I didn't even care, I just yelled "NO!" The thing is he readily had the ID in his hand, he didn't go into a pocket or a bag, he just had his hands up and ready to show me. I watched him never change his face, turn to his right and leave. I called my roommate to let her know, and she had a friend walk her home about two hours after I got in, so I wasn't alone for the rest of the night. I wish I took a picture of him with the ID and phone, but I was just weirded out that he tried to step inside right behind me but didn't try to come back in again or say a single word. I thought maybe I dropped my ID and he was returning it, but I checked and mine was in my wallet. Maybe he was asking for me to lend him a phone charger, but why would he follow me inside for that?! Was I overreacting?

Hello!
I knew my wiring on my basement was pretty wonky, and decided to finally tear down the sheet rock ceiling (for other reasons, this being one of them).
I’m finding a lot (3 and counting), buried junction boxes in the joists that are in bad shape.
In general, what’s the approach here?
I’d like to avoid rewiring entire circuits if I can, but I’m not opposed to it if I need to.
Do I just replace the box, and any damaged wires and install the box so that it’s exposed with a blank plate over it?
Please excuse my ignorance if I’m mincing terms.
I’d include pics, but honestly: just picture grody rusty old boxes without covers and with wires spilling out.
I’d like some general guidance on what the approach would be here, if such a thing can be given at a high level.
Thanks!

As we get ready for hiking and backpacking, I’ve been assembling a first aid kit with dog specific things. Hopefully this is allowed, but I’d like to share what I’ve gathered based on my research so far for others, and if anyone has suggestions, I welcome it!
Pictured: -Bandage wrap -Lightweight muzzle -2+ doses of peroxide 3% -Tweezers (flat and needle nose) -Blood clotting powder (3 packs, 1 pictured) -Sterile Gauze (1 pictured, more of varying sizes in both human and dog FA kit) -Antiseptic spray for dogs -Paw Balm -Scissors -Charcoal powder slurry -Oral syringes (1 pictured, 3 packed) -Instructions on administering medication, dosages, local emergency vet phone #, animal poison control #
Not pictured, but will be packed: -Pack a Paw sling -Dog ear thermometer -Animal safe Benadryl (Vetadryl?) 48 hours of doses -Brush -Nail clippers -Booties
I am in Colorado, and am considering a dose of rattlesnake anti venom, wondering if that’s worth it? We have been and will continue to hike in the Rockies and front range from Alberta to New Mexico this summer, which is definitely rattlesnake territory. Additionally; he is taking Nexgard Spectra to protect against heartworm, ticks, fleas, and gastrointestinal parasites!

So, 5% of guys who are very good at taking pictures and also attractive get the majority of female attention (likes, swipes, matches)
95% of guys get next to bugger all, the absolute minimum amount of likes to keep them using the app (and pay for it), and have a miserable dating experience.
Women, therefore, mostly get blanked ignored or ghosted by the small number of men they are collectively interested in, overwhelmed by likes by those they are not interested in, or if they find one of the other 95% they will most likely meet someone who is very insecure as a result of this miserable situation, and they will sense this and lose interest.
Please, tell me if I’m wrong or if your experiences don’t match what I’m saying, I just wanna know how it works.
So, as a 30m, is there any way I can RELIABLY get matches and likes if I have, let’s say, a month and a few hundred pounds/dollars? I’m not a photographer, I don’t feel I’m ugly, but I’m not ripped or a model. Is there a course of action I can do which will 90% work?

I don’t know what is happening to me. I’ve lost all sensation of my body, I can’t feel anything. I was driving and it feels like I’m floating, I don’t even feel bumps in the road. I drive places and it feels like I just appeared there, I don’t remember the drive or how I got there.
I go out into the sunshine and have no idea what time is it, I don’t feel like I’m “here” at all. Things are unrecognizable, and not visually - mentally. It’s like I’ve never been where I am before.
I have no thoughts in my mind at all, just music repeating over and over again. It’s like my thinking brain and inner monologue are gone, and the fear part of my brain is in complete control. The scariest part is, I don’t have any physical anxiety or panic at all, that’s how I can’t understand why this has gotten worse. I haven’t felt any sort of panic in probably a year. I feel so past the point of many people on here - I don’t see very many people saying they have no anxiety, or they can’t feel their body, they feel disoriented and unable to comprehend reality around them. I cannot focus, or get my mind on anything that requires concentration. My mind is blank.
Why is my nervous system doing this? I cannot find any triggers or anything that would make me feel MORE anxious. Nothing in my life has changed. DPDR is destroying my ability to function. Walking around feeling like you have no body, like life isn’t real, like you’re no connected to yourself or the world around you. I try so hard to just live, and I have been for many months, but I continue to feel worse - not better.
I haven’t had health insurance but once it’s active, I’m going to have every test done. This is not normal, my nervous system must be damaged in some way. If you can’t feel your body even when you touch yourself, or it feels like your legs aren’t even attached to anything, there’s something wrong. I don’t even feel myself breathing or my heartbeat. When I used to take deep breaths, I could feel my lungs expanding, now it feels like I can barely take a full deep breath.
The cognitive issues, the memory loss, the complete lack of energy or interest in anything, the lack of an inner self, not recognizing where I am, what time it is, what life even is. I 100% feel dead, I don’t understand how a doctor wouldn’t able to see this on an MRI or scan - I’ve lost all sensations in my body. Is DPDR just cutting off the physical sensations from being read by my brain?? Same with senses, I don’t smell, feel, taste, nothing. Those things still have to be there but my brain isn’t reading the input and connecting it with memories, which is why everything feels so foreign and awful.
I’ve been watching Robin Shindelka’s YouTube channel and she’s so wonderful, calm, collected. She had DPDR and she came out of it. But I don’t see her explaining my symptoms the way I experience them, she still had physical anxiety and feelings. I have none of that. How can you heal from anxiety when you can’t even feel it? You can’t accept or float through something you’re unable to feel. I don’t see anyone describe DPDR the way I do.
I’ve truly never been in such a worse place. Even at my worst DPDR, I could feel anxiety. It didn’t feel like it was happening to me, or my body - but it was there. Anyone living like this would be afraid. It’s not only taken my reality from me, it’s taken myself and my body from me too. I picture someone experiencing this as they are dying, as a way to cope with the pain. But I’m not dying, I’m not being eaten alive, I’m just doing basic things trying to survive. I don’t fight the way I don’t feel anything. I just sit in this hell every single day.
Robin mentions that DPDR happens when you can’t run from your emotions, yourself or your fears. There’s no actual bear, I’m the bear. My mind fears my own emotions, my own self, there’s no trust. I don’t even know where to begin to get my subconscious to not fear existence. To not fear my own emotions. Any little bit of feeling I have, my mind goes deeper into DPDR. This is all subconscious. My mind doesn’t trust itself - a real bind I’m in here. If you can’t trust you own mind, who are you?

I'm a first time home buyer.
My house has a unico air conditioning system.
Replaced the intake filter in the home yesterday.
The sun rises to the rear of the house. So the rear faces east and front west.
It's a bi level home and it's listed as 2620 sqft. I'm assuming this includes the lower level. The concern mainly is the living room seen here with these windows:
https://i.imgur.com/FH30Whq.jpeg
Using a meat thermometer the air coming out seems to be about 60F.
It is 85F out. The main living space is reading 78F with the AC set to 68 just because it's a dumb AC unit and where it measures is significantly cooler.
I have temperature readers in basically every room.
The master bed room which has a west and south facing window measures at 73F. The hallway between it measures at 71 The west facing rooms measure between 75 and 78F.
The issue being the living room and dining room are open concept. Which measure at 78F. The kitchen which is next to the dining room and behind the living room with an east facing window and sliding door measures at 77F.
Is this soley because of the front of the house being west with lots of windows?
See this picture for the front of the house:
https://i.imgur.com/4tGQGRL.jpeg

I'm 33 I'm morbidly obese so I don't even have that hot/crazy thing going for me like some girls do, I have no friends, even though I'm on a debt management plan now my credit is fucked (I've got 2 CCJS) and because of this (and being revenge evicted) I'm living in a static caravan with my boyfriend and my cat with not a penny to my name, my boyfriend has ADHD and depression he's a gas engineer and plumber and is constantly in and out of work. I feel weirdly happy here sometimes, it's far away its in the woods I feel hidden from the world and safe from bailiffs but sometimes I miss having a private garden, being able to do my washing indoors, not having to interact with neighbours, living in a house that doesn't get freezing cold at night and boiling hot during the day. I've tried to make a go of things on Tumblr but I guess I don't click with gen zers on there so most of the time I get blocked or ignored for absolutely no reason 😕 I try to be friendly and not reblog things that sound OTT but I guess it doesnt work, this girl who was my sort of FP (who also has BPD) seems to hate me because she's convinced I made a blog that was similar to hers she's also been getting friendly with another girl who she equally didn't like who made a fan blog similar to hers yet she's completely blanking me the whole thing feels sooooo school yard tbh.
My family can't be bothered to see each other and they're not especially close they're all alcoholic narcissists, me and my sister sort of get on but despite her being my carer and getting money for it she's sort of pulled the rug out from under me the last couple of years to focus on writing and making candles as well as furthering her popularity on social media and I can't help but feel a bit sore over it I guess like for example tomorrow I really needed to see the doctor to talk about my weight and my facial hair (I suspect I have PCOS) as well as discussing the possibility of going on better medication but I can't get there because I don't drive and I live literally 20 mins away from everything even a supermarket so I can't even get a bus.
I've been trying to focus on making my caravan nice and wanting to do computer art of pictures of me and my boyfriend of all the festivals and holidays we've been to but everytime I look at these pictures of me I feel so depressed at how much I hate the way I look 😭. I feel angry that I tried to keep my living situation a secret for months and that I had to carry it round in my chest until my niece let it slip that I went for a viewing at the caravan and I didn't tell them I was having to leave my 2 bedroom house cos my landlord wanted to sell it (he said he wanted to sell the place barely an hour after I complained about damp and mould and a silverfish infestation) my family think I've downsized and chosen to live out here but it's out of sheer desperation if I'm being honest.
I'm not really sure what else to say really.

Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?

Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?

Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?

Hey there! Just wanted to add this to show my profile isn't "blank". Lol I don't really post but reachout to others through there's. I have plenty of pictures I can share as well as verify if we end up chatting. Whether we chat or not I hope you find what you're looking for and have a great day. 😄

Cleaning up gear: https://imgur.com/gallery/coffeeswap-5-21-LIjZASV
More photos: https://imgur.com/a/XQCk3PA

• Orea V3 Frost (limited edition) - brand new with box - $30
  
• Tricolate - lightly used 90~ filters with box - $25
  
• Blue Bottle Dripper - lightly used with 15~ filters with box - $15
  
• Asso Jack Walnut Leveler 58mm - few dings but in good condition no box- $90 (retail $180)
  
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• Decent Filter 2.0 basket - lightly used - $10
  
• Fellow Stagg EKG Matte Black - brand new with box - $100. It is a replacement unit tested once to verify functionality. Received it as part of warranty but the whole replacement process took too long so i ended up upgrading so I’m just trying to recover some cost.
  
• Fellow stagg EKG Matte Black - broken kettle but base fully functioning (but heavily used) no box - free with any purchase but if no one wants it I’ll give it to anyone if they cover shipping. The kettle can be included if desired but it doesnt regulate temperature it just boils at any temperature setting.
  

Open to offers and will prioritize bundles. Prices do not include shipping and fees.
Message for additional pictures.

I live in Tennessee. Yesterday, my uncle and I got into a heater argument about several things that had accumulated over the past couple of days. He was mad that I took his clothes out of the dryer, that I clean the washing machine and dishwasher, that I called him and asshole, and his son overheard it, the list goes on. Multiple times during the argument, he got in my face and was spitting in it while he was talking to me. I could feel his breath on my face. I told him to back off and he said “no I’ll continue spitting in your goddamn face. What are you gonna do about it?” I warned him that I would spit back at him
Sure enough it got to that point. He got my face and spat in it one last time so I spit in his face back and from there he lunged at me, put his hand around my throat, choking me, elbowed me and threw a few punches in the face. I kicked him as hard as I could and slapped him in the face, and the fight ended by me pushing him into the table. He ripped my shirt and left marks on my neck. I also have a minor cut on the back of my right hand, but that was from his glasses. He apologized about my shirt and the scratch.
After telling my family about it, I was encouraged today call the police. I did and I showed them pictures of my injuries and the video I recorded (unbeknownst to my uncle). The officer said that they would talk to the judge and see what the judge would decide to do. The video is mostly just a blank screen and on and off muffled audio. You can see the phone fall down onto the floor and you can see my uncle in a standing position in the video. So because of how it was recorded, the police officer says that the judge may not count that as substantial enough evidence to bring about any charges. But if he does, it’s likely that we both could face charges for domestic assault, because the bottom line is it was we’re family and it happened in a family home, and we both did make physical contact with each other. Domestic violence and domestic assault policies in Tennessee are among the strictest in the country. My uncle and I have never been in any trouble with the law before.
One of the police officers requested that I email him the video and the picture, but I was not able to email him the video because the file size was too big, even though I had edited (shortened) versions of it.
Could this result in jail time for the both of us?

If you are a DoorDash customer, please make sure to be a vigilant customer. It saves us from wasting our time and it also helps ensure that your food is not stolen.
Was making a delivery to an apartment complex that had a front gate that was locked. There were no instructions on how to get inside and they even left the unit number blank. I set the 5 min timer upon arrival and called multiple times in addition to sending a couple of text messages but no responses. Eventually left it outside the gate after the 5 mins was up. The customer called back a few mins later and was upset that it was left outside the gate where anyone who walks by could steal it to which I explained to her that I tried contacting her multiple times and each attempt was ignored and the 5 min timer also ran out to which DoorDash instructs us to take a picture and leave it there. She made an excuse that she was taking a nap and didn’t hear the phone, however that is not my problem. After the 5 min timer is up, it is out of my hand. And whatever happens to the food after that is out of my hands as well.
If you are a customer and you make a delivery through DoorDash, please make sure to keep your phone next to you at all times and be watchful/vigilant in case your dasher is having issues with the delivery and tries to contact you. Or else you unfortunately might end up in a situation like that one lady and possibly have your food stolen by a random passerby. I always keep my phone on silent but when I order through DoorDash every blue moon, I turn the ringer and text message volume up and have my phone right next to me ready to respond to any calls or text messages from my dasher. Works every time.

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Hello,
I have some artisans available for sale. Let me know if you need better pictures of anything. Please comment before PM. Available via Discord or Reddit. Discord = oscdawg
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Item	Price	Available	Details
Levelcaps Ork King- Beigewash Blue	$55	Yes	Blue with Beige Ork
Nightcaps (ETF) Moonblank - Cloudy Days and Nights	$40	Yes	Clear Translucent and Black Clouds Blank - GMK R1 Profile
Frumpzkeys - Snowflake v1	$40	Yes	Blue with White - GMK R1 Profile
Blanksy - Proto CXXII	$30	Yes	Blue/White/Black Blank - GMK R1 Profile
Blanksy - Proto CXXVIII	$30	Yes	Blue/White/Black Blank - GMK R1 Profile