Sex sites

All the worst from the world's most dangerous sex and relationship advice

2013.01.13 04:32 All the worst from the world's most dangerous sex and relationship advice

This is a sub to share some of the most horrific, hilarious, dangerous, or flat out weird sex and relationship advice. While there will be regular awesome excerpts from Cosmo magazine and its website, we will welcome any bad advice from anywhere.
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2014.09.12 09:46 jrmjr what are best sites for casual sex?

Looking for free websites to meet DTF women. Mainly my conservative area in Lincoln Nebraska. Probably not likely, but whatever. Done with dating apps and supposedly "hook up apps". All women there want relationship without sex at my age. In my early 30's so please help!
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2011.10.18 23:25 cjb6714001 Showerthoughts

A subreddit for sharing those miniature epiphanies you have that highlight the oddities within the familiar.
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2024.05.21 13:10 Danielle_FromGa Why have I stayed

Ive been with my boyfriend for 10 years . We started off as friends . For years our relationship was just easy. Nothing in my life is ever easy and I fell in love immediately. Now we are 10 years in but for about 4 he hasn't touched me. Im an extremely sexual person if I'm with you I'm all about you . He has rejecter me everytime I've tried to initiate sex. We have been through some stress situations these last 4 years and he says he just isn't in the mood. It isn't me that he doesn't feel good about himself and his life . I've never been rejected before now . It would be difficult to it was once or twice but years. Him rejecting my sexual advances and lack of affection have affected me in ways I never could have imagined. I now have a complex about undressing in front of him. Cause maybe that's why we don't have sex he isn't attracted to me . I feel extremely lonely cause the person I want the most doesnt want me back. I have cried more times than I can count he usually gets mad when I want to talk about our sexless relationship but the few times we actually talk he always says sorry him not me.. but nothing has changed not even a little. The conversation I've having to try to address and fix the issue have made it even now this huge worse. I can't mention anything about it without him getting mad and not talking the rest of the night. He also is on dating websites and emails other women. When I've confronted him about that he gets really mad at me .. how dare I look through his phone . And he isn't on those sites or he didn't email anyone . I'm crazy. Once I showed him screenshots of what he was doing and tried to tell him how bad this hurts. He is lying to me then goes out of his way to talk trash to me about how crazy and delusional I am. I wouldn't ever put up with this from anyone but I can't seem to leave. I love this man and besides this we have the best relationship. He is my best friend. I can't imagine life without him .. I guess I can't imagine living another year in a sexless and unsatisfying relationship what is wrong with me ? He just isn't attracted to me anymore obviously. And he doesn't change cause he doesn't care. ..tell me the truth it doesnt get better does it
submitted by Danielle_FromGa to Gwinnett [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 13:00 Neowza Weekly Advocacy Post

Below you'll find information and links to help advocate for Reproductive Freedoms and Abortion care in Canada and emerging policy issues with the Reddit platform. This is a recurring post and will be periodically updated as needed. Feel free to post additional information and discussions in the comments.
Advocating for Abortion Care in Canada:
Reference: Policy Options, via the Institute for Research on Public Policy and Action Canada for Sexual Health & Rights
What can you do to improve access to abortion care in Canada?
  1. Listen, research and learn. This is always the first step to understand any problem.
  2. Send a letter to your MP and MPP. Tell them that access to abortion care is important and how difficult it can be to access it in your province. Urge them to prevent anti-choice groups and CPCs from receiving charitable status, and to revoke the charitable status from CPCs that already have it. Encourage them to include reasonable reimbursement for travel costs related to receiving medical care when it is not available in your community. And push them to pass Safe Access Zone Legislation to protect patients, practitioners and their staff from anti-choice harassment and intimidation.
  3. Give a donation to a pro-choice charitable organization of your choice. Remember, if you give a total of $201 CDN or more to Canadian charitable organizations, you'll get a credit of 29% of your total annual donations on your income taxes (for those that file Canadian Income Taxes, only).
  4. Sign up for the Abortion Rights Coalition of Canada Newsletter. https://www.arcc-cdac.ca/
  5. Participate in local marches and rallys in support of access to abortion care.
  6. Spread the Word. Tell your friends and family. Encourage them to research, listen and learn. Encourage them to contact their MPP and MPs.
  7. If you work in a Doctor's office or as a family physician, consider incorporating Mifegymiso into your practice to ensure patients have timely access to this essential service. If you are a Doctor, or studying to be one, consider opening an Abortion Care practice when you are licensed and qualified to do so, especially in rural areas where there are a lack of options.
  8. If you work in politics, consider proposing legislation that will ensure safe access zones for abortion care providers and their clients and covering reasonable travel costs for constituents when medical care is not available in their community.
  9. If you are a journalist or work in media, consider preparing pieces sharing the difficulty Canadians can have accessing medical care such as abortions.
  10. If you work in the area of Not For Profit/Advocacy, consider partnering with a Pro-choice organization and helping them spread information and lobby for improving access to abortion care for Canadians.
  11. If you know someone who needs abortion care, consider giving them a ride to a clinic, helping them access the advice and care they need, and provide non-judgemental support.
  12. Ensure persons of First Nations, Metis and Inuit heritage know about Jordan's Principle, which ensures that First Nations children (which includes people who can become pregnant under the age of 18) can access the products, services and supports they need, when they need them. https://www.sac-isc.gc.ca/eng/1568396042341/1568396159824
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Emerging Policy Issues with Reddit
On July 1, 2023, Reddit raised the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that killed every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader. This policy change meant that mobile users would have a lesser experience browsing Reddit, users with visual difficulties could not browse reddit as screenreaders are not compatible with the official Reddit app, and mods lost tools that they depend on to keep communities on-topic and spam-free. Many subreddits protested this change in June 2023, and the Reddit admins enforced draconian measures such as removing and replacing mods who privatized their subreddits in protest of this policy change.
On September 12, 2023, Reddit will eliminate reddit coins, including removing all accumulated coins, a perk that Reddit Premium users pay for every month. Coins are used to reward comments and posts by showing your appreciation for the effort. Some reddit coins offer the ability to use reddit without ads.
In March 2024, Reddit had an IPO (Initial Public Offering), and the founder and current CEO, as well as the COO have sold $500,000 of their shares. How does this effect you? Reddit may face pressure to increase revenues to attract investors. This could lead to more ads or new monetization features. There could also be changes to the platform to attract a wider user base, such as bans and censorship on certain topics or words and control over content to appease more conservative shareholders or users.
What can you do to protest policy changes at Reddit?
  1. Listen, research and learn. Check /modcoord for updates
  2. Cancel your Reddit Premium membership
  3. Participate in subreddit led protests
  4. Look for other forums to patronize. We have a forum on Discord called Auntie Network Canada. Message the mods here for an invite link to the Discord group.
  5. Complain. Message the mods of reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on reddit. Leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app.
submitted by Neowza to auntienetworkcanada [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 12:41 One-Shower-9086 help

I honestly just don’t get it. sure porn was interesting to look at while i was a budding and horny teen just buying my first vibe, or just giving oral for the first time, but i truly can say i have no interest in anything; porn, other men/partners, whatsoever since i have been in this relationship. i’m 21, so i’m pretty young. i have gained a good bit of weight since we have been together, maybe 20-15 pounds, but he insists he still loves the way i look and that i am perfect. I’m just wondering what, if i am “perfect” there is to gain from porn?? why he is looking at OF leaks on reddit on his break, saving them while he’s in a drive through line, why he’s searching on some dodgy porn site for leaked content less than 10 minutes after we have sex while i am in the bathroom? our first d-day was a good while ago, around late august of last year. we have definitely had more, and while things have gotten marginally better, my one boundary is still not being respected. i even relented that he could still watch porn, but that’s o was not at all comfortable with him consciously seeking out individual women to look at— especially when those women look like everything i would have nearly died to look like at one point. one girl he even knew in person. since maybe the 3rd dday (novemberish) he deleted his “photo vault/spank bank” but i still find myself looking up the women i found on ig and comparing myself to what it is that he actually likes — what actually gets him off. our sex life has suffered, which i feel probably leads him more to porn and other self fulfilling methods.
04/16/24 i wrote that march 18th and to be quite honest, as I sit here mid april in the middle of the night, nothing has changed. I went through his phone again (pain shopping i know i know) after i glimpsed a porn site open while looking at his tax forms and closing his open apps (as i always do). i think i even made a comment about pretending that I didn’t see the porn/naked body on his screen. But I did. So now I sit here, sobbing next to him in bed at 3am while he snores and feeling again like the little girl who just wanted to be the first choice, not a compromise someone settles on. So now I sit here, wondering what is next, who is next, and how I change myself in order to ‘help’ him get away from porn. you see if i looked like the girls he wanted of course he wouldn’t need the others. So now I sit here, fighting the urge to make myself purge for the first time in years, to be closer to that image he so desperately needs, and cannot get from me. i sit thinking of the girl who so dearly wanted to be like the others, the ones who didn’t develop early, or later, the ones who didn’t have abnormally large boobs, just a cute butt and a flat flat stomach. the girl who just wanted to be loved so badly; who craved it as a child and can never seem to achieve it as an adult.
05/20/2024 the first week of may i cried myself to sleep every night. two of those i sobbed so hard he woke up. i don’t know what to do anymore. i grabbed his phone again today, after he had been to the bathroom for an extended amount of time with no shower running, and lo and behold! of course, there it was. every single time without fail. i just don’t know what to do. i want to look like those girls he looks at. i want to throw up my meals and workout relentlessly. i want to shrink my boobs and grow my ass. i want to be tiny again. i want to never eat again. i want him to physically see his harm change me— just as it has forever changed me mentally. i have cut myself down to around 1400 calories daily, with daily exercise of course as well. but even if i lose weight it will still not be enough. i haven’t been going to the gym for years and meal prepping and eating specifically. i fear i will never look like who he prefers. writing this, i want to claw anything ive ever eaten out of my body, i want to go back in time and tell younger me to work out, to care. i want to be pretty again, to stay pretty this time. i know anyone would tell me to break up and to leave, to put myself first, but i cant. i have never loved someone so hugely and completely. i know that i will most likely never have the strength to leave someone who i love, and despite everything, does/did love me in my eyes. at the same time i dont know how to look at him anymore. tonight i went and looked at every girl i could remember him looking at and searched them on instagram. there were 15 of them. i think i may send their profiles all at once to him in the morning when he wakes up. maybe even right in front of him— just to see his reaction. is that sick of me? i just want him to know that i know, and that honestly its ruining my life. i never feel pretty. I have never felt so ugly, so hideous, so monstrous, that my own boyfriend can’t even get off to me. sometimes i can’t even look at him. it hurts too much. i’m worried that if he looks at me too long that he will find something else that he dislikes about me, and look even more to rectify that in yet another woman. i almost wish he would find this and magically know this was about us, not that it would solve anything really. I have already poured my heart out, spoken calmly, been angry, forgiven, and sobbed as hard as i ever have before. what else i can do.
submitted by One-Shower-9086 to loveafterporn [link] [comments]


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submitted by Putrid_Cranberry328 to feelingnoobse [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 06:13 Classic-Ad-2388 Please help, boyfriend’s porn addiction

Please someone hear me out about this. It’s about my boyfriends addiction to porn. I’m 19 and he’s 20
My boyfriend is the most loving man I have ever met he buys me flowers without me asking, he writes me letters every single day, he drives to my house just to bring me food and he is the best man I’ve ever known he cries looking into my eyes because he says I’m “beautiful “ he writes down the stuff that I like and he takes pictures of stuff that I like just so he can get them for me later. However, me and him dated for the first time years ago and when he was 15 I found out he watched porn and I was really heartbroken by it, we eventually broke up and moved on with our lives because I made a dumb decision. Fast forward to us dating again now, he said that he stopped watching porn and he’s told me that he hasn’t watched it since we got together last may. He’s been reassuring me about this for a year he’s cried to me about it and how much he hates porn and he swore up and down that he hadn’t watched it ever since we first got together last may. Today he couldn’t take the guilt anymore and he confessed that he’s be lying to me for a year and he still has an addiction to porn and he never actually stopped I’ve never seen him cry harder than today he says he felt ashamed and disgusted in himself and that’s why he never wanted to tell me the truth. He said he’s tried many things he’s even tried blocking adult websites on his browsers. Here’s the problem I have with this, I know how addictions work no matter how much u want to stop your brain wants the dopamine more and more I understand that part. But the thing is that he has videos of us having sex and pictures of me and the videos of us having sex is literally porn it’s categorized as porn it’s the same thing he’s watching on porn sites he doesn’t watch anything weird he only ever watches people having sex but I just don’t understand why doesn’t his brain think that OUR videos are porn. This just makes me worry that my body isn’t good enough and our sex just isn’t enough for him because he has so many pictures and videos of us that literally are straight up porn so why does he feel the need to look at other people why is the addiction still there. Please anyone If there is some kind of explanation to this scientific psychological or neurological. I’m really contemplating on leaving him over this but I also understand addiction and i see how hard he’s tried to stop and he desperately wants help and he wants to stop more than anything but I just need an explanation to why isn’t he satisfied watching our sex tapes I just need to understand.
submitted by Classic-Ad-2388 to PornAddiction [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 06:11 Throwaway-29370 I need to be held accountable. Day 1

First I want to say that I’m a good looking kid. Im not saying this to flex or trying to be arrogant but i add this because i want to explain that I’m a normal and very healthy individual. Ive had multiple relationships with women lots of real intimate sex and real life experiences (again not trying to flex just want to share as accurate as possible for people in similar situations). I was exposed to porn at an alarmingly young age. I have went through phases when I was younger of doing it a lot and sometimes never for long periods of time. When I got to college things took a turn for the worst. It really started with covid. Being bored in the house and smoking a lot of weed really fucked me up. Id jerk off a lot but I never thought too much of it until I started to have cravings for more extreme and questionable topics like gay/transgender (Im not gay but watching these categories makes me question myself which in return makes me absolutely sick. Nothing against gay people). Going back to school after covid I got a lot better being around my friends but I still would relapse from time to time. Then senior year of college I discovered Omegle/dirty roulette and I would tell myself that oh this is way better than porn cuz there is a MAYBE a real person there. Id spend hours on these sites trying to find girls to masturbate with. Im disgusted to even write this out but I need to be helped and held accountable.
Fast forward a few years to present time (1 year post college) and Im still in a really bad spot. Ive gotten a little better but lately I’ve been slipping and going back to my chat roulette/extreme categories of porn. Its starting to hinder my performance at work and Im scared its going to start to hinder my relationship with this girl I recently met and like A LOT. When I first met this girl I quit all PMO for almost 2 weeks! Then we started having sex and after the weekend (which is the only time I can see her) id relapse hard (like I did tonight). I feel really shitty about myself and confused as to why I’m still doing this shit even after finding a girl who Im super attracted too and want to make the relationship work.
Im going to start my REAL journey to quit NOW. Any tips or similar experiences will be really helpful!
Edit: I also want to add that I am an insanely healthy individual. I go to the gym 6x a week, do cardio 3x a week and eat super clean and healthy. I have insane discipline and dedication to that but for some reason this is my kryptonite and I cant carry that same dedication and discipline over to this aspect of my life. I also have lots of friends and a fine social life. Again not trying to brag here but I’m simply stating this fact because I see all the time that people use fitness as a tool when trying to quit and that wont work for me.
submitted by Throwaway-29370 to NoFap [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 06:10 IcedTea9414 2024 map tier list before they ruin this game (Pls don't murder me)

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Remember: This is what is known as an OPINION. I do not care if you think that mirage is the goat, because I think its very stinky. Upvote if you agree with my OPINION, downvote if you disagree.
Also, does any of y'all know what the one at the bottom is a picture of?
submitted by IcedTea9414 to PhantomForces [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 05:26 Perfect-Apple-8135 how much porn is too much porn

let me start off by stating I am in no way anti-porn. I (24F) have always known my fiancé (M27) watches porn. our sex life was always very active so I had no issues however, this year our intimate life has definitely taken a hit. majority of my pregnancy my fiancé didn’t want to touch me. didn’t even matter if I initiated sex he would just say maybe another time or not today. I knew he was nervous about the baby (even though my doctor told both of us it was perfectly safe) so I didn’t stress it.
following that, I am now 5 weeks postpartum. yes we are following the six week rule so I am in no way rushing anything but I did notice something. his browsing history must have had at least 40 or more tabs of porn. on top of that he was looking for leaked photos of a 19F only fans girl on google which I found disgusting. again, I’m not anti porn however I did feel it uncomfortable . to make me feel worse every video was the same category of woman, total opposite of what I am which definitely didn’t help my self esteem. I got a little insecure especially with all the hormones and just felt maybe I’m not his type anymore. this normally wouldn’t bother me but it was evident that he’d rather jerk off to some random girl than be intimate with me.
obviously I voiced my concerns to him which immediately got shut down saying I invaded his privacy (mind you we share an account and both can see everything the other person searches). I assured him I wasn’t looking for anything I was just clearing the history and stumbled upon it and that it really hurt my feelings. I told him it’s a little disgusting looking for naked pictures of a 19 year old when he’s 27 to which he responded it popped up on a porn site which is total bullshit he googled it himself so he wouldn’t have to pay for an OF subscription. I felt very alone and unwanted during my pregnancy which made me hate my body. I told him the type of girls he watches definitely didn’t help my self esteem either. I told him if he’d rather do this everyday excessively than be intimate with me than what type of relationship do we have? he assured me that I was the only girl he could ever see himself being intimate with and that he is not attracted to the type of women he watches on porn it’s solely for entertainment.
my confidence has definitely taken a hit and I don’t see myself sleeping with him anytime soon. do you guys think I’m wrong here? am I making something out of nothing? I am all for porn but I feel this is borderline excessive by picking porn over the real thing everyday for months.
submitted by Perfect-Apple-8135 to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 05:17 fark13 Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Second Spectrum - Switzerland

Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Second Spectrum - Switzerland
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role: Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise We are seeking a Senior Site Reliability Engineer to be a member of the Infrastructure Engineering group. As we head closer to realtime data and video feeds, there’s a strong need to move towards the edge. In our case, this is the sports arenas themselves. Our goal is to build and design a system to scale deployments into thousands of arenas.This is a hybrid role with the expectation of a minimum of 2 days in the Lausanne office per week Specifically, you can expect to:
First and foremost, build and scale the deployment architecture that powers Second Spectrum’s products as we continue to grow Automate bare metal provisioning of Linux networking and GPU drivers with tooling like Ansible, Packer, and more. Collaborate with our install and video capture teams to design and implement our real time tracking systems for 100+ stadiums in North America and Europe Work with our install specialists and network engineers to provision and deploy the hardware and software systems to customer sites Design and implement robust telemetry for all of the services Second Spectrum operates. Mentor and collaborate with engineers on other teams to promote healthy devops practices. Participate in an on-call rotation that emphasizes eliminating repeating escalations.
Minimum Qualifications
5+ years combined experience in SRE or Linux systems administration roles Strong fundamentals in bash and other scripting languages. Experience supporting and debugging issues with compiled languages such as Rust, Golang or C++ Experience using container technologies to test locally and deploy into production environments Ability to articulate and make decisions about trade-offs between rapid iteration and high-quality products Dislike solving the same problems again and again - so you automate or eliminate them Like to collaborate with others to solve problems, share knowledge, and provide feedback Strong communication skills when discussing technical concepts with technical and non-technical colleagues
Preferred Qualifications
Experience deploying systems with an Infrastructure as Code (IaC) mindset Experience managing networking stacks for large (100+) amounts of deployments
Our Stack:
Ansible, Packer, Bash, Rust Ubuntu Linux servers providing CPU and GPU compute, memory, and networking for real-time solution that delivers capture, tracking, and augmentation Planet and Cisco managed switches configured to enable PoE, jumbo frames, remote management tooling Docker and container scheduling (Kubernetes) Prometheus, Grafana, Loki
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From
Work on cutting-edge products for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States).
What’s in it for you? In addition to competitive salary and paid time off, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing limits to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers, and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 05:17 fark13 Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Genius Sports - Switzerland

Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Genius Sports - Switzerland
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role: Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise We are seeking a Senior Site Reliability Engineer to be a member of the Infrastructure Engineering group. As we head closer to realtime data and video feeds, there’s a strong need to move towards the edge. In our case, this is the sports arenas themselves. Our goal is to build and design a system to scale deployments into thousands of arenas.This is a hybrid role with the expectation of a minimum of 2 days in the Lausanne office per week Specifically, you can expect to:
First and foremost, build and scale the deployment architecture that powers Second Spectrum’s products as we continue to grow Automate bare metal provisioning of Linux networking and GPU drivers with tooling like Ansible, Packer, and more. Collaborate with our install and video capture teams to design and implement our real time tracking systems for 100+ stadiums in North America and Europe Work with our install specialists and network engineers to provision and deploy the hardware and software systems to customer sites Design and implement robust telemetry for all of the services Second Spectrum operates. Mentor and collaborate with engineers on other teams to promote healthy devops practices. Participate in an on-call rotation that emphasizes eliminating repeating escalations.
Minimum Qualifications
5+ years combined experience in SRE or Linux systems administration roles Strong fundamentals in bash and other scripting languages. Experience supporting and debugging issues with compiled languages such as Rust, Golang or C++ Experience using container technologies to test locally and deploy into production environments Ability to articulate and make decisions about trade-offs between rapid iteration and high-quality products Dislike solving the same problems again and again - so you automate or eliminate them Like to collaborate with others to solve problems, share knowledge, and provide feedback Strong communication skills when discussing technical concepts with technical and non-technical colleagues
Preferred Qualifications
Experience deploying systems with an Infrastructure as Code (IaC) mindset Experience managing networking stacks for large (100+) amounts of deployments
Our Stack:
Ansible, Packer, Bash, Rust Ubuntu Linux servers providing CPU and GPU compute, memory, and networking for real-time solution that delivers capture, tracking, and augmentation Planet and Cisco managed switches configured to enable PoE, jumbo frames, remote management tooling Docker and container scheduling (Kubernetes) Prometheus, Grafana, Loki
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From
Work on cutting-edge products for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States).
What’s in it for you? In addition to competitive salary and paid time off, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing limits to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers, and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 05:10 fark13 Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Second Spectrum - Switzerland

Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Second Spectrum - Switzerland
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role: Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise We are seeking a Senior Site Reliability Engineer to be a member of the Infrastructure Engineering group. As we head closer to realtime data and video feeds, there’s a strong need to move towards the edge. In our case, this is the sports arenas themselves. Our goal is to build and design a system to scale deployments into thousands of arenas.This is a hybrid role with the expectation of a minimum of 2 days in the Lausanne office per week Specifically, you can expect to:
First and foremost, build and scale the deployment architecture that powers Second Spectrum’s products as we continue to grow Automate bare metal provisioning of Linux networking and GPU drivers with tooling like Ansible, Packer, and more. Collaborate with our install and video capture teams to design and implement our real time tracking systems for 100+ stadiums in North America and Europe Work with our install specialists and network engineers to provision and deploy the hardware and software systems to customer sites Design and implement robust telemetry for all of the services Second Spectrum operates. Mentor and collaborate with engineers on other teams to promote healthy devops practices. Participate in an on-call rotation that emphasizes eliminating repeating escalations.
Minimum Qualifications
5+ years combined experience in SRE or Linux systems administration roles Strong fundamentals in bash and other scripting languages. Experience supporting and debugging issues with compiled languages such as Rust, Golang or C++ Experience using container technologies to test locally and deploy into production environments Ability to articulate and make decisions about trade-offs between rapid iteration and high-quality products Dislike solving the same problems again and again - so you automate or eliminate them Like to collaborate with others to solve problems, share knowledge, and provide feedback Strong communication skills when discussing technical concepts with technical and non-technical colleagues
Preferred Qualifications
Experience deploying systems with an Infrastructure as Code (IaC) mindset Experience managing networking stacks for large (100+) amounts of deployments
Our Stack:
Ansible, Packer, Bash, Rust Ubuntu Linux servers providing CPU and GPU compute, memory, and networking for real-time solution that delivers capture, tracking, and augmentation Planet and Cisco managed switches configured to enable PoE, jumbo frames, remote management tooling Docker and container scheduling (Kubernetes) Prometheus, Grafana, Loki
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From
Work on cutting-edge products for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States).
What’s in it for you? In addition to competitive salary and paid time off, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing limits to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers, and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 05:10 fark13 Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Genius Sports - Switzerland

Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise - Genius Sports - Switzerland
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role: Senior Site Reliability Engineer - On-Premise We are seeking a Senior Site Reliability Engineer to be a member of the Infrastructure Engineering group. As we head closer to realtime data and video feeds, there’s a strong need to move towards the edge. In our case, this is the sports arenas themselves. Our goal is to build and design a system to scale deployments into thousands of arenas.This is a hybrid role with the expectation of a minimum of 2 days in the Lausanne office per week Specifically, you can expect to:
First and foremost, build and scale the deployment architecture that powers Second Spectrum’s products as we continue to grow Automate bare metal provisioning of Linux networking and GPU drivers with tooling like Ansible, Packer, and more. Collaborate with our install and video capture teams to design and implement our real time tracking systems for 100+ stadiums in North America and Europe Work with our install specialists and network engineers to provision and deploy the hardware and software systems to customer sites Design and implement robust telemetry for all of the services Second Spectrum operates. Mentor and collaborate with engineers on other teams to promote healthy devops practices. Participate in an on-call rotation that emphasizes eliminating repeating escalations.
Minimum Qualifications
5+ years combined experience in SRE or Linux systems administration roles Strong fundamentals in bash and other scripting languages. Experience supporting and debugging issues with compiled languages such as Rust, Golang or C++ Experience using container technologies to test locally and deploy into production environments Ability to articulate and make decisions about trade-offs between rapid iteration and high-quality products Dislike solving the same problems again and again - so you automate or eliminate them Like to collaborate with others to solve problems, share knowledge, and provide feedback Strong communication skills when discussing technical concepts with technical and non-technical colleagues
Preferred Qualifications
Experience deploying systems with an Infrastructure as Code (IaC) mindset Experience managing networking stacks for large (100+) amounts of deployments
Our Stack:
Ansible, Packer, Bash, Rust Ubuntu Linux servers providing CPU and GPU compute, memory, and networking for real-time solution that delivers capture, tracking, and augmentation Planet and Cisco managed switches configured to enable PoE, jumbo frames, remote management tooling Docker and container scheduling (Kubernetes) Prometheus, Grafana, Loki
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From
Work on cutting-edge products for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States).
What’s in it for you? In addition to competitive salary and paid time off, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing limits to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers, and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 04:49 just_an_outlet Everytime I did something "crazy"

This is more like a record I am writing for myself, but thought I'd share in case anyone needs to relate.
Cheating on my partner of 15 years multiple times, followed by me abandoning the relationship at least 3 separate occasions to pursue something more thrilling. Just to return when the fun was over.
Did cocaine in a back alleyway of a bar with a stranger, then followed them back to their hotel room where I proceed to engage in unprotected sexual activities and fell on my face during said activities.
Drove 3 hours to another state to cheer up a guy I had been talking to after meeting on the Internet. Fortunately, no sexual activities. - we are still friends. He said it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for him. It was nice, but it also would sound crazy to the average person.
Multiple unsafe unprotected sexual partners that could have resulted in pregnancy or STD. I literally slept with a dude after he told me he had herpes .... Yep. Proud moment there. AGAIN, fortunately I did not get anything.
Had sex with a strange in an apartment bathroom that I later found out everyone knew about. Another proud moment.
A lot of my stories revolve around hypersexuality. I would become obsessed with it, and then depressed as soon as it was over.
Wrote letters to the CEO of my company. The first one was cool. The 2nd one thought I was quitting or going to kill myself... It turned into a whole thing. All I did was talk about how I was grateful for the multiple opportunities my job gives me....
Becoming super obsessive with romantic partners to the point they want nothing to do with me. Scaring them off.
Paranoid that a past partner was cheating on me with my best coworker to the point I almost had a panic attack while at work.
Planning spontaneous trips spending money I didn't have, just for the thrill of adventure.
Posting nudes on the Internet and sending them to strangers. Even ones that I would not consider sexy and am super embarrassed that I ever took/sent. Even tried a cam site and tried to convince my husband to do it with me. It didn't work out.
That's all I can think of currently.
submitted by just_an_outlet to bipolar [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 03:23 Fun-Ad-6990 Am I the only one who notices that the reason gen alpha is screwed is because like most of them seem to have been conceived for the instagram accessory aesthetic only by extremely young parents with no consideration towards the future citizens they just birthed

I was looking at why gen alpha seems to be even worse than kids in general. At first I was concerned about the fact that they barely even have the attention span for tv shows like Big City Greens and Bluey instead being dumped in front of horrifying content farms and even addictive stuff like c—melon.
Then it went a little deeper when I saw videos of teachers talking about how their regular kids(like kids without disabilities) are struggling below grade level and this is like 6th grade students having almost no attention spans and having reading levels and learning levels far below like 3rd grade levels, and not knowing certain basics There was even a video that mentioned how even sped kids despite their disadvantage had higher reading levels than normal kids. And the normal kids seemed not to even be trying to better themselves.
Then I learned about the Sephora girls and how they are straight up menaces to other people and demand skincare that isn’t designed for their age group and can damage them(instead of getting age appropriate skincare). I learned about the horrible Sephora moms enabling this with instagrams
Then I learned about young boys(like 6-9 year olds) accessing extremely sexist streamers and a pretty notorious rapist and trafficker named “quagmire” Tate who was just arrested for sex trafficking influencing young minds to regress regarding equality and no means no etc. I then saw more teachers saying how toxic kids are becoming and they seem to have no real life goals other than being influencers. And then quitting because of such flagrant behavior.
I was confused by all of this like it seemed like the parents weren’t even trying to teach the kids basics like how letters are pronounced, how to tie shoes, not to steal the cookie, etc. this continued to be hard to understand like it didn’t make sense. Like these problems used to be a very small minority like not everyone is like this but now it seemed that not “everyones kids are bad” while still a fair amount seemed even smaller compared to to it seems like the kids who were never taught seemed to increase.
Then when I saw one video which talked about the Sephora kids she brought up a TikTok talking about why gen alpha ended up so bad and the video brought up the accessory baby trend of the 2010s that really blew up around that time. I then watched the TikTok and that’s when it clicked. The kids who were born then are the same that are gen alpha. I remembered that on YouTube and other sites was filled with teens who were excited about having a baby and belly progressions etc.
it made total sense why gen alpha is horribly underprepared because many of these kids were(and are) the accessory babies born in the 2010s that were born to a large minority of(a lot of) teenagers who wanted to showcase their cute baby as if they were a furby accessory trying to copy the celebrity (spesficially the kardashians and Kyle Jenner) accessory baby trend which resulted in the aesthetic of parenting and having a cute baby without any of the actual work needed to raise a baby to a functioning human being with good literacy skills, a reasonable education and basically becoming a functioning person.
Oh and teen mom the tv show(which despite showing some of the darker sides and contributing to a decline in teen pregnancy’s some dumb kids still took inspiration) . It’s made even worse because now TikTok and instagram reels glorifying pregnancy at young(like teenage) ages for aesthetics even if said person was not ready or willing to handle responsibly raising a future adult and showing none of the true consequences and sorrow that comes with ruining your and a future humans life, instead being filled with instagram photos of cute mommy and baby in matching outfits on highly staged photos with no hint on how difficult it is to raise a human being.
Anyway The baby was never supposed to grow up as a person and become a functioning human being but to be a silent being with no thoughts of it’s own to dress up and show off to instagram and Pinterest. Essentially a doll. However when that baby started to grow up into their own person and becoming a human being because as it turns out baby’s grow up to be a functioning adult. The parents has no desire to be a parent and does not know how to raise a functioning human so they dumped them in front of iPads in order to get them out of the way and basically negelect them. The consequence is that now we have an entire generation of kids who have not been taught basic lessons and how to be a functioning person.
It even affects the kids who weren’t accessory babies and are being raised by people who actually want to see their child succeed in life , because the peer pressure to act more mature than before has ramped up significantly as the moms of the accessory babies shunned kid appropriate outfits and acting their age and stuff because they wanted the babies to be dressed up in adult fashions for instagram photo ops and have engrained that acting like a kid is stupid and that they go from accessory Baby to hot young adult with no inbetween in their minds which warps them to act like an “adult” when way too young. It’s essentially the traditional 10 year old wants to act older but warped far beyond what it used to be and if a kid simply acts like their age group they are often picked on by accessory baby bullies which means that a lot of kids are now under peer pressure to grow up way too fast because the accessory kids that dominate the school and act like monsters towards everyone else.
It’s because they were never taught how to be a good Person. And it’s because of the parents who wanted accessory babies for instagram rather than raising a human. Like it’s the 30 year mellenials who take their kids only to instagramamble play areas, dressing them up for photo shoots every week in new clothes, going on instagramamble vacations and even having another baby only for clicks.
This is the reality of the situation we are seeing the consequences of this in real time. The kids were never taught how to be a person and because of that they have almost no manners and learned all their lessons from toxic influencers and or consumerist influencers. It’s because the parents neglect them instead of providing moral lessons on how to be a good person, teaching them right from wrong, or even providing them good tv shows like BCG, and bluey instead dumping them in front of iPad content farms that rot their attention spans without any moderation causing them to have no imagination and tech addictions and then for the boys watching toxic influencers like Andrew quagmire tate and his merry band of Herbert the perverts(it’s a family guy reference). And for the girls being brainwashed into acting like adults and buying skincare that burns their skin instead of age appropate skin care.
This is scary because they are our next doctors, artists, writers, musicians, librarians, mechanic, firefighters, plumbers, etc. and they end up with social media addicitions and have shockingly short attention spans thanks to overstimulating YouTube shorts and they were never taught how to be a successful person who thrives in society all because they were treated as disposable photo props to get more IG likes.
To be clear not every parent is like this and there are many parents trying to raise their kids good and teaching them to be a good person but it is concearning how the accessory babies are now being turned into monsters at shockingly young ages. I really hope people wake up and realize that this is a problem and how we need to educate kids and prevent toxic Tate influences on boys And toxic trends on girls. We need to let kids learn positive values and teach the, about diversity and how to be a good person and helping other people and doing good things and working hard to achieve whatever goals they want.
We need to fix this and help prepare kids to be a functioning good adults so that they can succeed. It’s a whole mess that we need to do better with our next generation of people because we need to stop treating kids like they are just instagram photos and they aren’t babies with on and off switches but babies that grow to toddler then kid tween teen until they become an adult who should be able to do basic functions in society.
I am legit concerned about the next generation and them being addicted to content farms rather than quality shows with educational and entertainment value and not being taught basic morals like don’t steal the cookie, everyone is equal, clean up after yourself, don’t rudely interrupt other people. or even helping them get to grade level reading and stuff(and I’m not counting kids with disabilities, like autistic and adhd kids) to function in society. like I literally heard that sped kids with disabilities and autism etc are literally doing higher reading levels than regular kids because a lot of the regular kids were never taught. It’s legit concerning.
*it should also be mentioned that this seems to mostly happen with really really young parents 9/10 times as most kids who were conceived by parents at older ages(30 something when they had kids) don’t seem to have this problem(or very rarely)
submitted by Fun-Ad-6990 to teaching [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 03:23 Fun-Ad-6990 Am I the only one who notices that the reason gen alpha is screwed is because like most of them seem to have been conceived for the instagram accessory aesthetic only by extremely young parents with no consideration towards the future citizens they just birthed

I was looking at why gen alpha seems to be even worse than kids in general. At first I was concerned about the fact that they barely even have the attention span for tv shows like Big City Greens and Bluey instead being dumped in front of horrifying content farms and even addictive stuff like c—melon.
Then it went a little deeper when I saw videos of teachers talking about how their regular kids(like kids without disabilities) are struggling below grade level and this is like 6th grade students having almost no attention spans and having reading levels and learning levels far below like 3rd grade levels, and not knowing certain basics There was even a video that mentioned how even sped kids despite their disadvantage had higher reading levels than normal kids. And the normal kids seemed not to even be trying to better themselves.
Then I learned about the Sephora girls and how they are straight up menaces to other people and demand skincare that isn’t designed for their age group and can damage them(instead of getting age appropriate skincare). I learned about the horrible Sephora moms enabling this with instagrams
Then I learned about young boys(like 6-9 year olds) accessing extremely sexist streamers and a pretty notorious rapist and trafficker named “quagmire” Tate who was just arrested for sex trafficking influencing young minds to regress regarding equality and no means no etc. I then saw more teachers saying how toxic kids are becoming and they seem to have no real life goals other than being influencers. And then quitting because of such flagrant behavior.
I was confused by all of this like it seemed like the parents weren’t even trying to teach the kids basics like how letters are pronounced, how to tie shoes, not to steal the cookie, etc. this continued to be hard to understand like it didn’t make sense. Like these problems used to be a very small minority like not everyone is like this but now it seemed that not “everyones kids are bad” while still a fair amount seemed even smaller compared to to it seems like the kids who were never taught seemed to increase.
Then when I saw one video which talked about the Sephora kids she brought up a TikTok talking about why gen alpha ended up so bad and the video brought up the accessory baby trend of the 2010s that really blew up around that time. I then watched the TikTok and that’s when it clicked. The kids who were born then are the same that are gen alpha. I remembered that on YouTube and other sites was filled with teens who were excited about having a baby and belly progressions etc.
it made total sense why gen alpha is horribly underprepared because many of these kids were(and are) the accessory babies born in the 2010s that were born to a large minority of(a lot of) teenagers who wanted to showcase their cute baby as if they were a furby accessory trying to copy the celebrity (spesficially the kardashians and Kyle Jenner) accessory baby trend which resulted in the aesthetic of parenting and having a cute baby without any of the actual work needed to raise a baby to a functioning human being with good literacy skills, a reasonable education and basically becoming a functioning person.
Oh and teen mom the tv show(which despite showing some of the darker sides and contributing to a decline in teen pregnancy’s some dumb kids still took inspiration) . It’s made even worse because now TikTok and instagram reels glorifying pregnancy at young(like teenage) ages for aesthetics even if said person was not ready or willing to handle responsibly raising a future adult and showing none of the true consequences and sorrow that comes with ruining your and a future humans life, instead being filled with instagram photos of cute mommy and baby in matching outfits on highly staged photos with no hint on how difficult it is to raise a human being.
Anyway The baby was never supposed to grow up as a person and become a functioning human being but to be a silent being with no thoughts of it’s own to dress up and show off to instagram and Pinterest. Essentially a doll. However when that baby started to grow up into their own person and becoming a human being because as it turns out baby’s grow up to be a functioning adult. The parents has no desire to be a parent and does not know how to raise a functioning human so they dumped them in front of iPads in order to get them out of the way and basically negelect them. The consequence is that now we have an entire generation of kids who have not been taught basic lessons and how to be a functioning person.
It even affects the kids who weren’t accessory babies and are being raised by people who actually want to see their child succeed in life , because the peer pressure to act more mature than before has ramped up significantly as the moms of the accessory babies shunned kid appropriate outfits and acting their age and stuff because they wanted the babies to be dressed up in adult fashions for instagram photo ops and have engrained that acting like a kid is stupid and that they go from accessory Baby to hot young adult with no inbetween in their minds which warps them to act like an “adult” when way too young. It’s essentially the traditional 10 year old wants to act older but warped far beyond what it used to be and if a kid simply acts like their age group they are often picked on by accessory baby bullies which means that a lot of kids are now under peer pressure to grow up way too fast because the accessory kids that dominate the school and act like monsters towards everyone else.
It’s because they were never taught how to be a good Person. And it’s because of the parents who wanted accessory babies for instagram rather than raising a human. Like it’s the 30 year mellenials who take their kids only to instagramamble play areas, dressing them up for photo shoots every week in new clothes, going on instagramamble vacations and even having another baby only for clicks.
This is the reality of the situation we are seeing the consequences of this in real time. The kids were never taught how to be a person and because of that they have almost no manners and learned all their lessons from toxic influencers and or consumerist influencers. It’s because the parents neglect them instead of providing moral lessons on how to be a good person, teaching them right from wrong, or even providing them good tv shows like BCG, and bluey instead dumping them in front of iPad content farms that rot their attention spans without any moderation causing them to have no imagination and tech addictions and then for the boys watching toxic influencers like Andrew quagmire tate and his merry band of Herbert the perverts(it’s a family guy reference). And for the girls being brainwashed into acting like adults and buying skincare that burns their skin instead of age appropate skin care.
This is scary because they are our next doctors, artists, writers, musicians, librarians, mechanic, firefighters, plumbers, etc. and they end up with social media addicitions and have shockingly short attention spans thanks to overstimulating YouTube shorts and they were never taught how to be a successful person who thrives in society all because they were treated as disposable photo props to get more IG likes.
To be clear not every parent is like this and there are many parents trying to raise their kids good and teaching them to be a good person but it is concearning how the accessory babies are now being turned into monsters at shockingly young ages. I really hope people wake up and realize that this is a problem and how we need to educate kids and prevent toxic Tate influences on boys And toxic trends on girls. We need to let kids learn positive values and teach the, about diversity and how to be a good person and helping other people and doing good things and working hard to achieve whatever goals they want.
We need to fix this and help prepare kids to be a functioning good adults so that they can succeed. It’s a whole mess that we need to do better with our next generation of people because we need to stop treating kids like they are just instagram photos and they aren’t babies with on and off switches but babies that grow to toddler then kid tween teen until they become an adult who should be able to do basic functions in society.
I am legit concerned about the next generation and them being addicted to content farms rather than quality shows with educational and entertainment value and not being taught basic morals like don’t steal the cookie, everyone is equal, clean up after yourself, don’t rudely interrupt other people. or even helping them get to grade level reading and stuff(and I’m not counting kids with disabilities, like autistic and adhd kids) to function in society. like I literally heard that sped kids with disabilities and autism etc are literally doing higher reading levels than regular kids because a lot of the regular kids were never taught. It’s legit concerning.
*it should also be mentioned that this seems to mostly happen with really really young parents 9/10 times as most kids who were conceived by parents at older ages(30 something when they had kids) don’t seem to have this problem(or very rarely)
submitted by Fun-Ad-6990 to teaching [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 02:26 jbunny2128 Fighting with shadows

Begin an amazing, respectful, loving, caring married sex addict with two kids. I am currently going on 6yrs sobriety from a life style that almost killed me three times. Each time i believed i was free from the addition, a voice inside my head brought me back. Sobriety is not for the weak and it takes more then just shear will power to dance with the devil and survive. Sex addiction takes many form, and can hide in the shadows as, lust, angry, resentment, judgement. Or it can stand in plan site as porngphy, self obsession, strip clubs, adult bookstore, massage parlors, and more. It's claws ready to sink deeper into your soul the more you try to pull away or you think its under control. Your in trouble and doomed to be pulled into the dark. Hi i am a 59yr good looking male, who spent the last 54 years of my life living in a fantasy world i created. Made from lies and untruths i told mysel. Alawy in conflict alway torn by the feeling of guilt and shame . My scars are deep some are freshly healed i know now they will never go away. My mission is to carrier my message to others. A message of hope, confirmation with joy there is life beyond porn, sex, and the demons that live inside all of us. Freedom to love, care endlessly to feel just a little normal.
submitted by jbunny2128 to sexaddictionNrecovery [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 01:09 Majestic-Peace-3037 I feel as though I'm finally "living" as a woman; a rant

I spent my years as a little girl trying so hard to be anything else OTHER than "just a little girl" because I was raised in a heavily religious and Latino household where being born a girl basically determined that you'd be forgotten and ignored. Any accomplishments you put in the effort to complete in the hopes of maybe some sort of parental attention was almost always steamrolled over to make room for other sub-par things your brother, uncles, or nephews did.
So I became this little angry girl who studied hard. Up until puberty at 11 quickly beat my spirit to pieces with a wave of depression that wouldn't ever fully go away or recede far enough into the horizon enough for me to get comfortable ever again in my skin without fear of drowning in my own emotions that at that time I simply labeled "useless and stupid."
I was 5 years old when I remember my Dad ripping and cutting these little heart shaped dangly charms off of the hem of a pastel printed dress I really liked. He didn't like that they skimmed my little kid ankles. He called the outfit "whore practice" clothing and made sure I knew only girls "asking for bad attention" wore "outfits like that." I quickly stopped wearing my earrings too as he once yelled at my mom so hard about the size of these tiny hoop earrings she had once put on me. He accused my mom of buying me "adult" earrings so after that she never got me another pair. To make matters worse he abused my mother, oftentimes ruining her dresses and outfits too because he claimed she was "dressing to get another man" so she could leave.
I had to be the strong one, at 7 years old. I would sometimes watch Cardcaptor Sakura (when it aired in English in the U.S., late 90s/early 00's) or Sailor Moon and I would draw pictures of what I imagined I would look like if I had a cool magical dress. These girls got to fight crime while being pretty. Pam Grier could fight crime and look gorgeous, but I had to watch her in secret on my own time. Tarantino really hit me hard with how strong he makes his female leads too. I mean sure yeah weirdo foot stuff, but Uma Thurman is depicted as this angel faced beautiful charming woman but who is dedicated and deadly and can kill if her life is at stake or anyone tries to get in her way. The women in Death Proof totally kicked ass while being pretty at the same time. I had a girl crush on She-Ra and also on Star Fire and Lady Death from the horror comics my uncle would borrow and I'd find, not even realizing how raunchy the art was. The women were strong. The women were fiercely beautiful. They could fight.
My mom would then marry another idiot when I was 10. A conservative raised little mommy's boy shit stain of a man who took joy in picking on literal children for things they could not control. Total narcissist. His mom was a 1950's housewife who had passed away but her control over how he dressed and acted eventually spilled onto me. Why am I in a dress today? which boy am I trying to impress? Nevermind that it's 96 degrees Fahrenheit in a middle school with no A/C, I MUST be wearing a knee length skirt at 12 because OBVIOUSLY a boy told me to wear it so he could touch me.....there was no rational thinking. I was taught that being even a little feminine or expressing femininity was a definite horrendous declaration of "omgeee please touch me, I'm stupid and want 100 babies!!!" By 14 years old I didn't own a single other skirt or dress except for some black dresses meant for funerals and one white skirt I buried in the back of the closet.
I ate my feelings. I ate and ate and ate and ate because I felt so empty. I was limited from 14 to 17 to only big flared oversized jeans and boys tshirts. My stepfather was a big believer in clearing your plate plus he just loved food. He was over 400 lbs himself, and while my siblings and I didn't go to regular doctors exams we simply just gained weight recklessly as we would be punished for leaving anything behind on our plates while our stepfather would make weekly $300 purchases on more and more and more just food food food. So then, at 14, I just had no idea I would never see 225lbs again until over a decade later. By 16 I was nearing 300 lbs and wanted to die. I was watching other more normal healthy weighted girls grow into beautiful women all around me. Filling out dresses, wearing cute tops, actually being able to purchase clothing they liked with no worries. I'll never forget shopping for the dress I wore for my Senior Yearbook photos. My mom planned a "girls day out" for us to go and find a dress at a mall. I was ecstatic. I asked my mother maybe 15 times if she was SURE and CERTAIN we were going to get me a dress. The literal DAY OF the trip my stepfather had a "change of heart" and insisted the entire family go to the mall together. I found a dress. Bright Teal/Blue. Checker patterned. It had a wide rounded scoop neck, a very flowy skater-type skirt, and the Mannequin at the store had the dress paired with red flats and these beautiful blue-bird earrings. I put the dress on and in that instant I just felt so pretty that I almost forgot who I was and out loud asked "are you FUCKING serious?!" when I stepped out of the fitting room with it on and my stepdad just kept loudly snorting and laughing at me. He made me put that beautiful dress back and honestly my heart was so broken that even 7 years ago when I was 25 I was still actively looking for it on Mercari and at other Plus Size secondhand clothing sites. I ended up wearing this absolutely hideous brown and beige old woman slip style wrap dress with this ugly tacky red border. I looked like someone's secretary job having mom and the dress just further highlighted my lack of actual breasts and lack of a waist. So when Prom rolled around and my stepfather even TRIED suggesting this big shiny pretty pearlescent pink ballgown for me I bit back and DEMANDED all black. I was pissed. I had no date. I let my mom buy the Prom dress out of spite and even afterwards I cut it to pieces just for shits and giggles because I was so angry.
Then one day I actually followed through with my threats and ran away from home. I was free for the first time at 17! I could wear what I wanted!
Except I couldn't because I proceeded to pursue toxic relationships with controlling narcissistic men because of the way I was raised. The first guy insisted that me wearing a dress meant he could just have me be "free use" which I hated back then, I didn't know anything much about sex at all as I was sheltered and constantly grounded for minor shit. I totally just was not ready to be cutting potatoes for breakfast in a nightgown at 5 a.m. just to find myself mid-sex with potato skins still stuck on my hand while I'm trying to get the person to just STOP for like ONE SECOND so I can get on with wtf I was doing. FFs. The second guy decided that me wanting to wear a lot of bright colors meant he could belittle me for "listening to goth music but dressing like a total narc fed", except he would hit me. Like we were once just walking. Literally JUST walking. I was wearing just plain old brown flipflops and ran out of clothes so I threw on my old white skirt. I forgot it had little sequins sewn onto the hems. It started raining so I asked for his jacket so I could cover the skirt so it wouldn't get wet and become see through and he proceeded to slap and punch me "for making stupid decisions" and then belittled the sequins and shit as "little girly" details and decorations that I apparently should have known better than to dare to throw on just to walk to the corner store at 6 in the evening on a summer day. The skirt was ankle length, long as shit. Then I met the third guy who decided that any time I so much as wore anything that wasn't pants, it meant I was cheating. I stuck around in THAT relationship for 6 long grueling years. We didn't sleep in the same bed anymore after the second year as he would belittle me for my weight and lack of femininity, but then anytime I wore a dress it would turn into a fist fight. He would say that me wearing a dress in the house was me feeling guilty for cheating and trying to "look cuter than I normally am" so he wouldn't hurt me. He really messed my brain up. Around that time I was so desperately alone and withdrawn from everyone and everything that I would often spend weeks and weeks with no positive human interaction other than cashiering at my job I hated. I would lie and say I was working just to actually take the bus freely all over the city and I would buy cheap nightgowns from secondhand stores to wear in my room at night while I did college homework. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup with him, I wasn't allowed to wear dresses or anything pretty. Like a sad little child I would time when I knew he had to get online to play his video games and I would use that time to put on a whole face of makeup, shave my legs and wear the nightgowns just to "pretend" I was a very feminine and pretty woman in her own apartment enjoying life. It always made me cry to have to shower afterwards and take the makeup off.
I was 31 and had just been fired from one job while working my first day at a new one. I'm not sure what happened in that instant or maybe if I just had an "oh shit" moment but I just had a strong urge at that moment to just wear a dress again. I had a long week of nonstop dreaming and thinking about my 20s. How sad is it that society tries as hard as it can to make us think that our 20s are supposed to be this MAGICAL time you can NEVER get back? My 20s were so bad I'd literally probably actually toss myself off a bridge if I woke up and realized this was a dream and I'm actually still 22, homeless, dating a total shitbag who hits me, and being too traumatized to just stand up and DO SOMETHING. I also feel like there needs to be more of an understanding that not everyone's 20s are going to be awesome. My mother is a jealous asshole and didn't like that I dated three men in my 20s. She straight up believed it should be one and done since she hated herself for divorcing my Dad but SHE needed to understand that not everyone is just hunky dory OKAY with settling for the first smarmy toad that lands in their pond. I'll never forget her little shit eating grin and face when I brought #4 home and she said "oh sweetie I just hope you one day find someone who can just get your toes to curl." She thought all the break ups were strictly sex related. I asked her and she just steamrolled over it with "well you cant just dump everyone the second they turn you down for sex or ask for more, sometimes you need to be patient!" Like excuse me? Ah yes because as a woman in her 20s it was *impossible* for anyone to think that most of my break ups were about my money being stolen, people not keeping a job, apartments always having "surprise new roommates" that never clean their messes, or straight up abuse. Nope. Both of my parents and most of my relatives apparently assumed any break up between 20-somethings is just "lol, the sex is bad." As if we don't have any sort of character depth to us.
So I guess the point of this is that I am beyond grateful that 31 and 32 coming soon here are bringing me these sudden realizations that I probably should've had in my 20s. Its liberating to wear a damned dress to work and not WORRY about 1478349237498743987 scenarios that can go wrong. Its so much fun to finally fully dive into makeup and what different things do and what they're for. I feel like when I dress up and feel good about myself its truly just for me and it brings me joy. Not even 6 years ago I would have been absolutely panicking about the dresses in my closet I've collected but today I finally wore one outside. Its a skater dress and very flowy and I feel pretty and unafraid. I feel like I can do anything even dressed this way. I feel like this is what being in your 30s is supposed to be. Finally not giving a shit what other people think and accepting that different people feel pretty doing different things. Wearing a dress or dressing up shouldnt make you feel powerless
submitted by Majestic-Peace-3037 to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 00:52 alexnxps AITA because I don’t have remorse for dead people?

I know the title might be a bit off-settling but I genuinely need to know if others feel like me or if someone at least has advice for me.
I don’t want to disclose my sex or age.
As the title says, I don’t have remorse for dead people. I don’t feel sorry for them or their families, I generally don’t care for dying people. Obviously, I also don’t care for dying children. This might sound harsh but my 2-year-old cousin died last month and as I got the news, my only thoughts were „oh okay. cool. now can we move on?“
At first I always thought this was my way of grief and that I thought this way to ignore my fear of death but I’ve come to the realization that I don’t have a fear of it. I don’t know how to explain it but the simplest way to say it, is that I believe it doesn’t matter when and how someone dies. A baby getting raped and killed has the same effect on me as when an elderly person dies of old age, which is none. I just don’t feel any pity, not for them or anybody else.
I’ve also come across some „weird“ sites online, picturing photos of dead people, sometimes even children. Once again, they have no effect on me. I don’t care to see a person‘s head getting cut off and frankly if I got brutally murdered tomorrow, I would not care.
This is the part that genuinely makes myself worry; I also don’t care for my mothers death. My mother died a few years ago (about two) from cancer. And as sad as it sounds, I don’t miss her. I don’t care for it. I never truthfully cried for her. Yes, i faked some tears here and there because I had to but I never felt sad even though I know I’m supposed to be. It makes me feel sick of myself to read other people being completely destroyed by a loved ones death while it doesn’t faze me at all.
Lately, it’s gotten worse. I started to romanize abuse and death. I even developed a bit of a crush on Jeffrey Dahmer, which sounds wild, I know. What’s truly scaring me is that I’ve been having thoughts of actually hurting others. At the moment i can control myself very well but the fantasies keep getting worse and worse. I don’t know how long I can keep this act of being normal up. When will I break and let loose?
Please, tell me there’s someone out there, who feels the same?
submitted by alexnxps to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 00:43 Puzzled-Town1115 I [30M] have been in a long distance relationship with my GF [31F] for a little over 4 years, big mistakes happened, and I think I'm in love with another person [26F] that I don't even know the real name. Has my current relationship has run its course?

TLDR: I've been in in a long distance relationship for 4 years, and I was unhappy with the relationship because I felt abused/manipulated, and but also unsatisfied sexually, I joined a cam site, and think I fell in love with someone from there. Its complicated. Has my current relationship run its course?
Hey everyone, I'm at a loss of what to do, feeling bad about the position I've put myself in and don't exactly know the way out. It all starts around 5 years ago, I [30M] (25yo at the time) was on Tinder and met some pretty amazing people. I must preface this story saying that I was a virgin and never actually had been with someone prior to that, I don't consider myself too awkward, but I'm shy and don't allow too many people in. While on Tinder I met my current GF [then 26yo, 31 now], we went on a date. It wasn't the best date, but it was good. She was from another country, so 5 days after we had a date, she left to go back home. We kept in touch, and the relationship evolved. We started talking daily, and eventually things turned sexually over video. I was crazy about her, and we made the decision that I was going to visit her in her country. I didn't tell anyone that I was going to meet a person that I only had met once in my life. We met and it was amazing. Obviously we wanted to jump on each other immediately! I asked her to be my GF like 1 day into this visit. We had an amazing time, and it was time for me to leave. That's it for the beginning of the story.
Things happen in 2020... and we keep on going in a long distance relationship. I have a pretty good job, so I'm able to afford plane tickets and stay, for whatever time I need, but we have been going on visiting each other for 3 months at a time on each of our countries, staying together for 3 months and than being 3 months apart again. We have traveled to multiple countries, etc. This all happened because we couldn't commit to be together because the was finishing her studies back home. We talked about getting married, we talked about children, we talked about everything. Most of it aligns between the too. We have a lot of differences, specially in terms of career, but also in terms of what we thing about some some specific topic. We have had a lot of disagreements over the course of these years on different stuff and I think it all got sorted out, but for over a year I think I've been feeling abused, and maybe manipulated. I'm not sure if this is true of if it's all in my mind. But we started to avoid some subjects because it was bad. I don't think I'm the easiest do deal with, and this is my side of the story... so yeah... She told me in these past few days that I also was a deception to her on some points, specially about not being romantic (more specifically surprising her with things). I also mostly stopped making my stupid jokes about everything, because she started to hate them and I think a lost a part of myself there.
Over the past year, I've been feeling abused or manipulated with simple things. We talk about a subject or something, and my opinions are mostly never right (you can make a joke about woman being right all the time or whatever here...). When I recall something that happened, I'm always told that my memory is not right, that it didn't happen that way, even though I recalled it that way, and I feel confused, as if I don't know if that's true or not anymore. This has been happening for quite a while. In the summer last year, I was spending some time with her, doing my remote job, which I had to wake up super early to do because of time difference. She was finishing her studies and writing her thesis. This led to a scenario where I was having meeting during lunch time. I want to say here that I think she is naturally a more lazy person than I am. I can wake up fast, I don't spend all day in bed etc etc. During this day, I told her I most likely couldn't make lunch at a specific time, and we had to do lunch like 30 minutes to 1 hour later. I was making lunch for her a few times, and we ordered a lot of it in as well. This specific day, she wasn't doing anything special, she was in her bed, and not actually working on her thesis, and while I was in the middle of my meeting she got super angry and hungry that she basically made me have to take my meeting while I was cooking at the same time... just because she couldn't wait for lunch, while she wasn't doing anything. She always says that she needs to eat on time or otherwise she feels sick from low sugar or whatever... This episode made a huge mark in our relationship, I was there to support her in her achievement of getting her thesis done, and I got yelled at for that and for other things (she asked me for help on computer stuff, when I suggested a fix, some of the times I got yelled at for trying to help...).
I know that she was going through a tough time, she was finishing her thesis.. and she now tells me that she didn't think that I recognized her achievement enough, that no one celebrated that achievement with her, despite us going out to celebrate it, and talking about it. After I left, I was pretty unhappy with the whole relationship, I had been feeling abused, manipulated, and very sad. I think also our sexual life had been declining since we met, it was never the full greatest, I wanted to have more, but it ended up being roughly 1 time to 2 times a week, if she was in the mood for it. It was never too much, and it wasn't ever a lot of different stuff, it was always very vanilla sex I guess (we had some sex in the ocean and at a pool in the past, but that was it). She doesn't do anything like give me head of anything because she says she has a bad gag reflex and she doesn't want to.
A few months later (and this is almost at end of last year) she was in a conference with her colleagues, and they had booked rooms for this conference, but there was some mix up in the end, and she ended up sharing her own room with a male friend/colleague that she as known for a longer time that she knows me. (I know him and we have talked a lot, this person also has a gf) I got pretty jealous over this. I didn't know how to express that feeling, but I think I did... This is where another pandora box was open.
I had been a going to cam girl sites for most of my adult life. I had actually pretty much stopped after I met my GF, only going occasionally, and mostly just looking at porn when she wasn't available. I don't consider myself addicted to it, maybe I was many years ago, but not anymore. When she was on that conference, I started looking at these cam sites, and I made the big mistake of putting some money in to have some fun. I was feeling bad, and I just wanted to have some fun, be satisfied with asking someone to do something for me. I put the money in and I got addicted to it. I was in countless private shows with these models, mostly to get off, and just have fun. I've talked with quite a lot of models, and it also opened another side of me of interacting with more people (even outside of this cam sites). I know that the girls there as mostly after your money, but I've met some amazing people there. I've made the mistake of starting to talk more deeply with these girls, and I've got the contacts of a few of them. I even decided to help some of them out of that life (a lot of these girls are there because they have no alternative). I have some money, so I helped 2 people out of there. I like to help people and it satisfies me immensely. I don't expect anything in return from them, I told them I probably will never meet them, even though they were pretty much open to it, as we got closer. All this had an indirect impact on my relationship, I was not fully happy with my relationship due to the things that I had on the side, and my GF also began to feel it because I started spending a lot of time on there.
My GF visited me shortly after, and I couldn't spend as much time on the cams. When she came, I had a bad feeling about our whole relationship, the moment I laid eyes on her at the airport, I wasn't sure about anything. We stayed together though we time here, I bought her some gifts etc etc (that she doesn't consider romantic or anything because we bought it together, but it was pretty expensive gifts like 2k USD), we were together. I must say here that she tells me that she doesn't consider our time together as living together, she considers it as a if we are on vacations catching up on the other months, I don't see it that way because we spend like 3 months together at a time. After she left I got back on the site, and kept on going, until it was my time to go visit her. I visited her (and I also quit my job at the same time, because I wanted to pursue another things) and it was pretty much uneventful, I told her that we should go to some place to enjoy our time, and we ended up not going anywhere, which she blames on my saying that I wasn't making any money, and just spending, despite me saying that I also wanted to go somewhere (I know I didn't plan it, but there was always plans from her side, so I couldn't simply override everything). I got back and it hasn't got any better. To make matters worse, I continued going into this site and I've met some other amazing people, one of these people is a woman (26F) that I think I fell in love with. I must say that I've spent thousands of dollars of this site, maybe over 25k USD! (I know I know.. thats another problem!) I've given this woman a lot of money and things, that she needed. I've chatted with her a lot and she is basically in that life because she had no other chance to get money and pay everything that she had, because she is been independent for a while, she also basically moved countries to be in a safer place. She actually lives now in the same country as I do. At the beginning there was a chance that she just talked with me for money, but we started chatting a lot, and we have spent countless hours chatting, and also playing games together, with the occasional fun play. If she was only thinking about money she would not be chatting with me most of her off hours, even the days that she wasn't doing lives. She had some personal problems in her life and she opened up to me on all that, I know many many things of her personal life, the one of few things I don't know are her actual real name. She tells me I'm not worthy to know it until if I don't resolve my life. I completely understand that. I must also say that I still buy her some things, like I bought her food etc, by giving her my card details so she could put in her delivery app. It's been crazy, let's just say it, and I'm a little crazy. She matches my wildest sexual desires, and many of the things I want to do in life, but I don't know much about other aspects of what its like to actually be with her. I don't think it is an illusion, because we have actually chatted a lot, if she just wanted money, she could well off be chatting with many more people that would give her tons of money.
I've been talking a lot with my GF of how I'm unhappy with our relationship, of how she treated me, and some expectations of that weren't met, sexually, etc. She even told me that she taught about leaving me as "vengeance" because I told her that we were having an hard time. I don't think that healthy at all... I know she was in a dark time when she was finishing her thesis, and I was there for her, but I got booted, she now accuses me of wanting to leave when things are solved for her, when we would be ready to move together etc (moving together is another complication because of visas etc, unless we marry). I think I would give it another shot, in another better state of mind, but I also think I could be missing on the opportunity of something way better, because I've seen that I could be treated much nicer (even thought that was all payed, I know that there's someone that could treat me nicer). Obvious I'm not a good apple here, because I've talked with a lot of people behind her back, and I feel bad about it. I've started to tell her actually that I've been on these sites, and she was actually semi okay with it, and said that it was okay for me to seek this if she wasn't satisfying me fully, but she doesn't know the full extent of this. I should also mention, that I've had very strong emotions about all this, about the pain that I felt from thinking of being abused, or thinking about the time that I just felt that I was being asked to do stuff and getting demands from her. I actually feel physical pain in my hand from when I'm super sad. There's also death of family member close to me in the middle of all these stories, that made the whole situation worse, because it made me realize that I probably should be pursuing more my dreams in life, because I had plans with this person, that will never be.
I think I committed to this 4 year relationship, and I don't know if I should continue committing to it fully (and forget everything else), because deep down I know I still may like this person, or pursue this crazy idea of being with someone that I barely know, and that nothing may come of it. Maybe I even should be alone for some time, go to therapy... Has my current relationship run its course? I know I've put myself in this situation. I don't want to hurt anybody, all I ever what is to see people happy, and I think it goes even above my own happiness, but I know it probably will hurt everyone in the end, specially me.
There's a lot of detail in there, I don't think that either of them will ever see this post, but I made a throwaway for obvious reasons.
Thanks for reading!
submitted by Puzzled-Town1115 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 00:40 throwaway279542 My (31F) partner (32M) of 14 years cheating/sabotaging relationship. Is this worth salvaging?

My partner and I have been together for almost 14 years and recently got engaged at the beginning of the year. We were each other's first and only everything and have been through many of life's ups & downs together. Intimacy is something we've always struggled with in our relationship. We have mismatched libidos, PiV was always very painful for me no matter what we did, we were in an LDR for the first 5 years of the relationship, and we both still live with our parents due to high cost of living/saving for a house so we have little privacy. He always felt guilty asking for sex from me out of fear of hurting me. We tried to do what whatever we could to connect in other ways, but I was always so afraid to visit the doctor to find out what was wrong (I also have past trauma related to this that I do not want to get into, but my partner was aware at the time).
7 years ago, I saw a text on his phone from an unknown number that looked sketchy. I looked through the message and realized that he had scheduled an appt with an escort a couple days prior. Upon confronting him, he confessed that he was very sexually frustrated at the time. He was working 14+ hour shifts at a stressful job he hated and we were always fighting during this time. A couple months prior to this, I had caught him going through escort & massage parlor pages. He confessed that he enjoyed reading the reviews and that they were like an extension of porn for him. He said once he got to the location, he felt guilty and drove away. He showed me the money he had pulled out for the service, let me go through the location timeline on his phone, and got an STD test. A few days later, I looked through his phone and saw that he added his cousin as a new phone contact. I was suspicious for some reason and googled the number, only to discover that it was for the same escort service. He confessed that they texted him a promotional text under another number. After much thought, we ultimately decided to try and work past this.
Over the years since then, I had caught him subscribing to girls on onlyfans and following tons of half naked girls on instagram. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable because it was crossing a grey area and was a bit too personal. I have no problems with porn or anything like that, but it seems wrong to be in a relationship while subbing to a specific girl's OF and paying for it. He understood and stopped. Occasionally when scrolling through IG together, I'd still see tons of girls on explore page, which made me feel like he was still viewing the content frequently enough for the algorithm to pick up on it, even if he wasn't actively following those girls.
1 year ago, I finally went to the doctor and figured out what the source of my pain was. The pain is 75% gone and my libido improved a bit. We were finally able to have a lot more sex than we were before. We had multiple discussions about communication and ways we could make things better. He shared that he felt a bit sad that he has never been with other women before. I asked if he wanted to take a break in our relationship so that we can explore other options but he said no.
During this time, he started reading sexy stories posted by other redditors. I didn't have an issue with it until I saw that he had added one of the redditor's on snapchat after reading her story. Her post said to add her and send a pic if you wanted her to send you one back. I confronted him and he said he was being stupid/curious and didn't send anything.
~8 months ago, he had asked me to stop looking at his phone so much because he was planning to propose and wanted to surprise me. I hadn't looked through his phone until last week. I saw a text asking if an escort was available. The person responded with times and there was no reply from my partner. I confronted him he told me he felt curious/horny and that it was a "moment of weakness." He said he feels very sexually frustrated and is going through these pages during work. He said he tries to control himself by masturbating before work so that he won't be tempted. That same day, he also texted me to come over during lunch for a quickie and that this was the reason why. I found 2 other texts from escort/massage parlors. He didn't respond to either after their reply. He said that the sites put a general location and he felt curious because some of them were near his house, so he just wanted to know which businesses were a front and that he had no intention of going. The earliest text was 2 months after we got engaged and the most recent text was May 1. He said he'd text them and then immediately stop responding and block them.
I also found out that around that last year (during the time we started having more sex), he downloaded multiple dating apps and had made a couple of profiles. He said he only matched with a couple of people and never met up with anyone. The most he had done was facetime with one woman. He said he was on the apps for only a month or so before deleting everything. He said he curious because he had never dated anyone else before and that it was purely physical, but once he realized I was not going to the open to an open relationship, he deleted everything. I also found out that he had 2 paid subscriptions to girls on OF. These were the same girls I saw on his IG. I also saw that he messaged those girls twice during this same timeframe, but obviously they didn't respond. One of those messages was sent the night of our anniversary last year.
After all this, he confessed to everything he's ever done. He has allegedly never physically cheated. He said he wants to get help and believes it may be because of his family history of addiction and his ADHD. He has a tendency to become quickly fixated with things/ideas. He said he wants another chance to change and that he loves me. He cannot understand why he keeps trying to sabotage the relationship. He told me to give him 1 week to get himself connected with a therapist and that we could also try couples therapy as well.
I love him, but I'm also not an idiot. I don't know if we can come back from this or if I want to even try. The amount of lies and deception is too much and I feel betrayed. I do recognize that he attempted to control himself by blocking the texts and whatnot, but it doesn't take away that he sent those texts in the first place. He regularly consumes a lot of sexual content and I'm sure that has definitely affected him negatively. I do also recognize that my inability to perform may have contributed to this. We talked and he said he finds it difficult to express his sexual needs with me but wants to try. He feels sad that I don't initiate often and that I may be in pain. He thinks he we can get through this because he loves me and still finds me attractive. He said this whole thing has little to do with me and is mostly about him.
Is it worth giving him another shot? At the end of the day, he's still my best friend.
submitted by throwaway279542 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 00:26 Federico216 Revisiting Battlestar Galactica (2003)

With it's recent return to streaming, I wanted to do a little write up in honor of the show. For those who haven't seen the series: Battlestar Galactica (BSG) was a 4 part Syfy (Sci Fi at the time) miniseries based on the 1978 Glen A. Larson series with the same title. The miniseries was quickly picked up as a full series that ran for four seasons in 2004-2009. The Emmy, Hugo and Peabody award winning remake starred Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, Katee Sackhoff, Tricia Helfer, Jamie Bamber, James Callis, Grace Park and Michael Hogan with Ronald D. Moore (For All Mankind, Star Trek: TNG/DS9, Outlander) as showrunner. The series tells the story of artificial intelligence (named Cylons) turning against their creators resulting in a nuclear holocaust. With Cylons hot on their tails, the last remnants of humanity escape in a battleship capable of interstellar travel. Their purpose: finding the "home of the lost 13th tribe", Earth.
I'm not going to specifically discuss plot points, but there's gonna be spoilers by implication, so close this thread right now and go watch the show, starting from the miniseries.
So, 20 years later it's a good time to ask, does Battlestar Galactica hold up? Given the massive rise in TV-series budgets in recent 20 years, it shouldn't come as a surprise that in terms of visuals, BSG shows its age. Still, CGI was very good for its time (two Emmy awards for VFX to show for it) and it doesn't become a distraction unless you're looking for Avatar level VFX. In the last season, I would go as far as consider some CG shots quite good looking (battle of Ionian Nebula comes to mind). The show tries to hide the low budget with reusing CG shots and frantic camera movements, which some might find grating, but the latter also gives the show a very distinct look. The choice of shooting "documentary style" might suffer from Seinfeld effect, but at the time quick zooms/shaky cam/out of focus shots were a bold choice in a genre known for static shots and little camera movement.
In very early 00's fashion there are times when the show tries to stick to episodic nature. Streaming has pretty much killed procedural television, so for people used to consuming modern series, this will come off very jarring. Occasionally there are a few hammy acting choices and scenes of clunky exposition that you rarely see in modern prestige dramas, but in terms of political themes it's almost depressing how some of the issues seem even more relevant now (e.g. class society, abortion, freedom vs. security, AI/consciousness, religion). BSG is very obviously a child of Bush administration politics and occasionally lacks subtlety, but the political issues are handled with just enough care to feel universal and timeless.
The cast of characters is deep and rich, and could easily go toe to toe with most series you see today. Not to even mention the soundtrack by Bear McCreary, which without hyperbole, remains as one of the best of all time (I could write a whole another post this size about the soundtrack alone, so I'm just going to leave it there). Yes BSG shows its age at times, and there are many ways in which it cannot compare to modern television series, so for the most casual viewers it might be too much of a deep cut. Still, it was also very influential piece of scifi television and especially genre enthusiasts and newer viewers with interest in the era when television series turned from background noise to respected entertainment, should absolutely give it a watch.
So what is Battlestar Galacticas legacy and sphere of influence? In the early 00's, television sci-fi was still defined by a certain aura of campiness despite tackling complex and serious themes from the get go with titles like Star Trek or The Prisoner. Scifi was still very much kept in its own box in the early 2000's, often (very unfairly) associated with cheap sets and aliens in rubber masks. While there were scifi series that enjoyed mainstream success far before BSG, a gross oversimplification of 2000's scifi television landscape might go something like "BSG walked so Expanse could run". BSG probably wasn't the first scifi series to show people having sex, doing drugs, committing suicide, battling alcoholism/PTSD/depression on spaceships, but doing it with seriousness and conviction, brought a new level of grit to the genre that helped later shows break out of the old mold. The series is very good at muddling morality and pitting two characters you love with understandable motives on opposite sides of an issue, which I feel like is still quite rare to see done convincingly.
Saying BSG revolutionized scifi would be a bit too generous of course. While one of the pioneers of the genre, it owes a lot to its predecessors too. Babylon 5 and Star Trek: TNG/DS9 are the obvious names to drop, but perhaps even more relevant was a criminally overlooked and short lived Fox series Space: Above and Beyond (which hit most of the same themes as BSG with similar sense of seriousness almost 10 years prior).
One of the big BSG headlines during its run, was gender swapping the character of Starbuck. In 2024 of course this seems like an absurd controversy, but at the time it was a serious issue. Original Starbuck (played by Dirk Benedict, who vehemently opposed and trashed the decision to make Starbuck a woman) was a mix of roguish womanizing attitude and toxic masculinity typical for 70's media. Making the cigar smoking hotshot a woman (and adding a frak of a lot of layers to her) was of course the right call and Katee Sackhoffs Starbuck ended up being perhaps more iconic than the show itself. It should be ridiculous to laud a television show for doing what should be the expectation: writing a complex female character, but quite frankly in the early 2000's sci-fi landscape (or just TV in general) there just hadn't been a character like Starbuck before. She's sex positive and tomboyish, but not defined by either one of these traits. She's really good at what she does, but makes mistakes and is constantly battling her demons, so all her successes feel very earned. Objectively she's an asshole, but seeing her story from her point of view makes you sympathize with her. While there are moments where BSG doesn't handle female characters with quite such finesse, Starbuck definitely left a lasting mark.
This being Reddit, I couldn't help but discuss the inevitable talking point that always comes up, did Battlestar Galactica really get that bad in the latter half? Well, the short answer is no. Objectively speaking, the last season of the show still holds a respectable 92% Rotten Tomatoes score, from both critics and audience. In fact the final episodes remain some of the highest rated in almost any review site. Perhaps it's also been helped in retrospect by shows like Lost, Dexter, Game of Thrones etc. upstaging it in the "bad endings department". Saying it "wasn't that bad" is not a glowing endorsement however. There are some valid reasons to why the show lost viewers along the way and why the ending sparked such controversy.
Let's start with the very end of the show. It's very clear rewatching the show that a lot of the time Ron Moore had no idea where it would all end up. Some aspects of the ending were planned, (in fact on this rewatch, I was surprised how early some things are foreshadowed and established) but some arcs were thrown out and forgotten and some just improvised on the go and tied together very hastily. The show will spend a couple of seasons foreshadowing something, only for it to be abandoned for something completely different (very noticeable, especially if you're aware of some of the changes made during production and the writers strike). Ron Moores character work remains fantastic throughout the show, but he seems to be one of those writers who needs to be occasionally reined in to keep the story cohesive. While saying the ending was just "God did it", is an oversimplification, the fatalistic implications of the cyclical nature of the story is understandably frustrating and retroactively devalues the stakes felt in the earlier seasons. Too many things are left for chance or fate and as a result, the ending feels kind of unearned. And while most individual character arcs come to a beautiful conclusion, fumbling Karas ending is probably the biggest sin of the three part finale. /somewhat ironic sidenote, this is what GRRM had to say about the shows ending "Sometimes the journey is its own reward and I certainly enjoyed a lot of the journey with BSG. But damn it, doesn't anyone know how to write endings anymore?"
Now, a lot of viewers abandoned the show after two seasons and it's understandable. There's a massive tonal shift in the series after the New Caprica arc. The show got intensely dark and brooding in the last two seasons. I always thought of BSG as a serious show, but I had forgotten how there's a lot of comedic moments, even physical comedy in the first couple of seasons. There was also that wholesome sense of optimism typical for scifi of late 90's and early 00's. Even when things got dark, usually by the end of the episode the gang was together, toasting another day of living. Come season 3 that's all gone. Even Galactica looks different, as if the fleet lost half the light bulbs during the occupation. Every character is suffering from depression, PTSD and exhaustion and the show feels like it too. You no longer get "Action stations, action stations! Set condition 1 throughout the ship!". instead you have Colonel Tigh saying "Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We're evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that" while planning a suicide bombing. I personally thought the shift was narratively justified. If anything I found it refreshing how seriously BSG takes itself, when these days a lot of sci-fi seems to have a need for comic relief and a self aware tone. But I can't blame people from abandoning the show either. The last two seasons are a different show.
Well this turned out to be ten times longer than it was supposed to. I doubt many if any made it this far, so I'll reward you with a BSG-story I personally find hilarious for some reason, but never get a chance to tell: When filming the movie "The Plan" that shows the events from Cylons perspective, director Edward James Olson was elated to find out they weren't under the usual censorship rules. One time while shooting a scene in the pilots washroom Katee Sackhoff heard Olmos yell from the directors chair "Zoom in on the cock! Zoom in on the cock!". It's been a while since I've The Plan, but I believe it made it into the final cut.
TL;DR: BSG is brilliant at its best, but deeply flawed at its worst. Either way, it remains relevant, deserves its place in TV Hall of Fame and especially if you're into scifi, you should watch it.
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2024.05.21 00:21 ismaelmoktaoui I have come to the realisation that porn is not normal

So i have been dealing with porn addiction since i am young, i am trying my hardest to stop now i am happy to say that i am not watching as much as i used to and it's been a while since i haven't been on those sites.
And the thing I want to say, is that I have come to the realisation that it is not normal it's not a normal industry it's not a good thing, When I Say I Was Watching Get I Wasn't Just going to a site and watching a video, i was Following pornstars on twitter following the news outlets, Etc.., and the other day i was watching a documentary about porn on Netflix and when these women speak they are praising each other and what they do but sorry i don't know what is to praise about things like « getting fucked in the ass » or a man slapping you and treating you like shit, i was following an actress on twitter who was doing really hardcore stuff like vomitting, drinking pee, and I Remember, on the comments people were saying stuff like « such a legend » « this is one of the greatest things ever » and Sorry but what kind of accomplishments is that? The thing you will leave in this world as your legacy is you drinking pee and vomiting
And these people act like this is normal and its a great legacy to have, and the thing is that young people who will see this are going to think that this is sex, thats the way to go, a man can slap a girl, ejaculate on her face cause he felt like it, put it in her ass and she will smile.
And i was the kind of person who thought that porn was okay it was just people having sex and exploring their fantasies and things like that but now I am starting to see the light, there is nothing normal about this industry, when I see these girls thinking that they are doing something great that they are legends I am just praying for these people to realise the thing they do and how bad it is.
And these people act like this is normal and its a great legacy to have, and the thing is that young people who will see this are going to think that this is sex, thats the way to go, a man can slap a girl, ejaculate on her face cause he felt like it, put it in her ass and she will smile.
And i was the kind of person who thought that porn was okay it was just people having sex and exploring their fantasies and things like that but now I am starting to see the light, there is nothing normal about this industry, when I see these girls thinking that they are doing something great that they are legends I am just praying for these people to realise the thing they do and how bad it is. And I am not judging the people doing stuff IRL, because I think sex is one of the best things about life, and when you explore stuff that you don't do often it's genuinely amazing, but these people have ruined sex and how people perceive it especially young people, i am 21 years old so I am the generation of people learning sex from porn and I remember when I was younger people were talking about sex and we didn't have experience especially to talk and I remember multiple stories of someone choking his partner, or doing blowjobs and the guy thinks it's like in those movies and the girl just ends up traumatised, i remember so many girls getting traumatised about sex just because the guy educated himself with those movies
And adults can make the difference between real and imagination, but not young people.
I really hope society realise how dumb and not right porn industry is.
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http://rodzice.org/