Hey there :) I'm a 21-year-old college student/musician going to school/spending most of my time in the Southern part of the USA. I've always had trouble dating and socializing, but I'm a hopeless romantic and refuse to let the world make me bitter 🤣!! Dating apps have been HELL, so I'm really *taking a chance here! [Looking for anyone 21+, please!] *
A little about me: I'm going into my senior year of college studying music! I'm in a band and love, love, love playing and writing music. Some of my favorite bands are Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Veruca Salt, Placebo, Cocteau Twins, and many others! I love vampires (specifically those of Poppy Z. Brite and Anne Rice) cats, astrology, tarot, movies, mortuary science, crocheting, exploring nature, thrifting/antiquing, coffee, clowning, and trying new foods! Although I'm introverted, I'm sometimes kind of adventurous and sensory seeking :) Something that I think has kind of barred me from having a lot of luck with dating is the fact that I'm an introverted autistic person. I want human connection, especially love, but it's pretty tough for people like me :( I'm pretty introspective and want to have long, weird, deep conversations with others whose hearts and heads work the same way mine does, but it proves difficult in the romantic sense. If it matters, physically, I'm ~5'4 + plus size/curvy! I'm pretty fair-skinned with curly black hair and brown eyes, and a few piercings on my face & ears. I'm usually in 'goth-lite' attire now that I'm in university and don't always have time for all the beautiful gothy glamour much anymore, lol. I love to dress up for shows or special occasions though, and have recently been getting into clown makeup!
I'm usually really attracted to the gentler, more creative, and at times odd types with dudes :) Musicians, writers, filmmakers, artists, and the like. BUT- totally open to other kinds of people, for sure! I'm a stereotypical goth girl in the way that I usually end up fawning over the lanky, long-haired brooding boys. So... if you've got long hair and sad blue eyes and look like you've just risen from the grave, you're already one step ahead of the rest. 🤣🖤 But at the end of the day, beauty comes in all forms!! I prefer someone older than me, also! (21-27 is the sweet spot, but I won't say no to any eligible vampires lololol)
I've had a lot of experience with online flings and situationships, and wouldn't necessarily mind an LDR, but I'm really attached to the city that I live in and would like to stay put on my end. Hopefully, you'll like where I live, also. It's a special place <3
I'd love to talk and hopefully have a fantastic friends-to-lovers arc, and hopefully, one day adopt many cats and watch horror movies for all of eternity :) I'm a little nervous about putting myself out there again, but nothing will happen if I don't try! Feel free to message me :)

The worst kinds of monsters are the ones that you don’t recognize at first. For some folks, monsters are closer than they may think - shrouded in the darkness, waiting for the opportunity to strike. For a lucky few, they are protected from monsters by their loved ones, and allowed to grow and succeed.
Such was the case with Diana and Adam, a couple from Buckhannon, West Virginia. They weren’t exactly the spitting image of love - they argued sometimes, worked opposite shifts, and didn’t go out on dates that often. But, they were married, and that’s a lot farther than most couples make it. Diana was the social butterfly of the pair - dozens of friends, good relationships with people all around town, and a reputation for always carrying a sincere smile on her face and a helping hand for anyone who needed it.
At first glance, you would think that she was the one who grew up there, not Adam, but that wasn’t the case. After all, they were living in Adam’s childhood home, gifted to them by his parents as a wedding gift (and excuse to move to Florida). Adam was somewhat of a recluse - he had fine social skills, but worked the graveyard shift and never left the house much other than that. People would sometimes shoot the two glances when they were rarely sighted together - the old saying “opposites attract” might be true after all.
While they were indeed opposites, and they didn’t show it often, they did love each other, and protected each other from the monsters of the world. Not that there were many to defend from in their sleepy little town - there hadn’t been anything more than petty crime since the early 1960s.
They had been living in their home for around three years, and for Diana, it was just starting to feel like a home. When they first moved in, the place had a somber atmosphere. There was no light from street lamps peeking in through the blinds, eager to dance on her velvety skin on dark nights. There were no honks of cars outside, or faint music from a party in the distance. The environment was entirely different from the city she was raised in - and it took her a while to not hate it. After making friends with people around Buckhannon, though, her relationship with the place began to heal - she wasn’t suddenly head over heels for it, but she understood it as a staging area for the true meaning of home - the people she surrounded herself with.
Adam was accustomed to the place immediately, having lived there for years, and didn’t exactly enjoy the constant slew of company that Diana had parading through their halls. After all, he was dead tired, come sunup, and just wanted peace and quiet when he got home. He would often disregard visitors in his living room, offering a simple nod and slight smile as he climbed the old creaky stairs to go to bed. This didn’t exactly paint him nor the couple well - why was Diana married to this antisocial oddity who didn’t even seem to want people in his house at all?
While their lifestyles didn’t exactly line up, they still tried to take each other’s needs into consideration. Diana would usually go over to others’ houses if she wasn’t working and wanted to spend time with friends. If she did have company over, she tried to keep the volume to a minimum, which isn’t exactly difficult with simple conversation and coffee. Conversely, Adam would carefully traverse the house at night to ready himself for work (as much as it allowed for, with its aged floorboards). He loved her enough to let her sleep, and she loved him enough to do the same.
It was on a rare night where Adam didn’t have work that the couple got to go to bed together. The crisp autumn night let them leave the windows open to be awoken by the sounds of the birds outside. They shared a rare kiss, and rolled onto opposite sides of the bed to hopefully get a full night of sleep - they didn’t have anything to do tomorrow, after all. Diana’s eyelids shuttered open to a mostly dark room, only pierced by a rare spot of light shining through the open window. Weird, she thought - rarely did the moonlight penetrate the treeline, although it may have been easier now, with the browned leaves crumpling off of the maple trees. Despite this oddity, everything else appeared normal - it was still dead silent, save for the distant crickets chirping in the woods. What had awoken her?
She tried to sit up, if nothing else to retrieve a glass of water. However, she could not. Her eyes widened as her heart began to race - she didn’t know what was happening, but she didn’t like it. The only part of her that could move were her emerald eyes, darting across the room and looking for anything that might be causing this, or anything she could use to snap herself out of it.
And then, it stepped into the light. Upon seeing it, she wanted to scream, loud enough to reduce every window in the house to sand. But she could not - her lungs seemed to be one of the only organs that worked, as she kept breathing, despite the fact that she didn’t want to risk making noise. Her heart also worked, evidently - it was beating so fast that she thought it might give out.
Standing in front of her was a man - or what looked like one. It was around seven feet tall, and had mostly human features, apart from a few things that were strictly impossible for any living person to have. Its right arm was completely gone. The right half of its face was that of an expressionless young man - the right, simply a rim of burnt flesh and muscle surrounding a skull. Its feet were missing their skin completely, although they were intact enough for it to stand.
This was it, she thought. I’m going to die here, in this bed, and my husband is going to find me when he wakes up. She didn’t have a choice but to wait for the ghoul to approach her and rip her to shreds, or do who knows what else. But as the seconds turned into minutes (or at least felt like them), the being stayed still. Its expression remained neutral - no murderous glee, anger, or even sadness. It didn’t seem to want to harm her - or at least she hoped. Suddenly, the window slammed shut, and she blinked for the first time since she woke up. The figure was gone, and the window was indeed sealed, rendering the room completely silent. Her husband stirred next to her, and peered over at her as she sat there, hyperventilating, having finally regained control of her motor functions. Rather than offering comfort, though, he simply rolled back over. He had stayed up all of last night and day so they could go to bed together, and nothing was going to stop him from resting, not even his clearly distraught wife.
Even though she wanted to, she didn’t mention it over breakfast the next day. She was afraid of many things. She was scared that Adam wouldn’t believe her, and would ridicule her or take the experience as yet another jab towards his childhood home. She was afraid she was losing her mind, and didn’t want to think about it. She just had to pray that it wouldn’t happen again, and spent her day looking over her shoulder.
An accident at the factory the next evening abruptly granted Adam the night off, and they spent it watching an old romantic comedy in the living room. Diana wasn’t feeling very romantic, however - every single crack of a twig from what was probably just deer outside nearly sent her into a panic attack. Whatever that thing was, she didn’t want to see it again. She even prayed for the first time in years, simply to request that whatever foul spirit haunted her nightmares be banished. She drifted off to sleep with this as a slight comfort.
All comfort shattered immediately when she woke up in the darkness again. The being spared no time to hide in the shadows this time - Diana immediately saw it, staring out the window. It turned its head towards her, and she internally grimaced - its face was just as unsettling a sight as it was the previous night. This time, though, something about it was different - it had actual emotion on what remained of its face, even if just slightly. She saw a dull sadness, perhaps with a taste of bitterness, but she couldn’t see quite that much detail. All she knew was that whatever it was, it looked like it was hurting.
It suddenly raised its arm, and she felt a wave of cold air pass over her. She blinked, but it didn’t disappear. It stood, almost as if it was waiting for her to move towards it. To her surprise, she could - she cautiously lifted her torso up in the bed and moved the covers off of her legs, never taking her eyes off of it. Once she was out of bed, they stood and looked at each other, as if in a game of cat and mouse for who would move first. Ultimately, Diana won that competition, and the being turned and walked towards the bedroom’s door frame. It stopped mere feet from it, and turned its head back towards her, waiting for her. Everything inside of her, from her past experiences to basic survival instinct, was screaming at her not to follow it. But she somehow knew that it wasn’t going to harm her. She didn’t necessarily feel safe around it, but something compelled her to follow it.
So she did. She followed it down the stairs, and down another set into the boiler room. It led her towards a corner of the basement, and then turned around. She began looking around the room, searching for what this thing may have led her to. She tried to speak, but found herself unable to. The light coming through the window slightly shifted, and she saw a handle on the wall that matched the color of the paint surrounding it. It was a crawl space door, partially blocked by boxes and paint cans, but just barely visible. The being motioned for her to open it.
She had already made a stupid decision by following it down here, she reasoned - why should she enter a dark, dank crawlspace? This brief moment of logic and reason was quickly overridden by another voice within her head - hers still, but bearing different reasoning. “If it wanted to kill me, wouldn’t it have done so already?” she thought, and this was enough to get her to move the boxes, shift the paint cans aside, and try the door handle. It didn’t budge at first, as it was apparently sealed. After a few more violent tugs and the severing of the rubber seal surrounding the door, it violently swung open. Immediately, a foul smell permeated through the cold air, and she immediately began profusely gagging. It was a smell more horrible than anything she had ever had the misfortune of experiencing - worse than sewage, or spoiled food. It was the smell of rot.
The being was unfazed by this, and again motioned for her to go through the door, with a point from a finger that was barely attached to its decaying hand. Despite the fact that she had moments before been rolling on the ground, trying not to vomit, she again felt compelled to listen to the figure. She made her way through the tight tunnel, scraping her knees against the oddly brown-stained concrete, until she found herself in a room big enough that she could stand up. She fumbled around for a light switch, and didn’t find one. Regardless, the single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling flicked on, and when the room lit up, she couldn’t hold back the sickness anymore. She vomited all over the floor before collapsing against the wall, sobbing. She was still unable to speak or scream - despite her best efforts.
Inside the room were no less than twenty corpses, all stacked in a heap in the corner. Some were almost skeletal, while some appeared fresh. Lining the walls were dozens of instruments of torture, some foreign, some disturbingly familiar. She could not believe what she was seeing - a cell of death hiding beneath her home for who knows how long. The light flickered, and the being appeared in the center of the room. In the light, she could see more of its hideous features - a slit throat, missing fingers, missing teeth from the protruding skull. It calmly walked towards her as she sobbed, preparing to join the pile. But it did not touch her. It stood over her as she opened her eyes again, and extended its decomposing hand to her.
She was baffled, to say the least. Why did this thing bring her down here? Was it the one responsible for this? If not, then who did this? Questions raced through her overwhelmed mind as she raised her head to look at it once again. As they looked at each other, she suddenly understood, and all of the questions were answered. She took its hand, and rose to her feet. It looked at her for a few more seconds, and the light flickered again. It was gone.
The next morning, Diana made breakfast in the kitchen, shaking with anticipation for when her husband would awaken. She did not get an ounce of sleep after what had happened - she spent the night cleaning her vomit from the floor and sealing the door with superglue. She was so lost in thought, thinking about what had happened, that when a hand was placed on her shoulder, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Adam spun her around and pinned her against the stove. He firmly asked what she was doing in the basement last night.
How did he know? Diana wasn’t sure, but she quickly lied about going downstairs to change the temperature on the thermostat. His grip on her shoulders eased up a bit, and she exhaled in relief - before he raised his voice. She looked at him, shocked, as he yelled at her to never go down there without him again. He turned and left the kitchen and the house, slamming the front door as he left.
The next few weeks were uneasy. Diana walked on eggshells around Adam, who refused to even look at her. She didn’t know if he had anything to do with what she found, but she did not want to believe it. Even so, his family had owned the house since it was built - who else could it have been? She tried not to think about it, and didn’t even see friends anymore, in fear that she would accidentally reveal her secret. Even on nights where he was off work, they did not sleep together - she took the spare bedroom and locked the door. She didn’t get good sleep - but she slept through the night.
One night, she woke up in the pitch black once again. The being needed no introduction, standing by her bedside and waiting for her to awaken. It began walking towards the door again, and she followed without hesitation this time - whatever it had to show her, she was ready to see it. She found herself in the basement once again, as it simply stood there and looked at her. She couldn’t say anything to it, which was fine - she didn’t have anything to say.
Suddenly, the door to the basement flew open, the lights flicked on, and Adam flew down the stairs, angrier than she had ever seen him. As she tried to back up against the wall, he grabbed her arm and began screaming at her. As he yelled in her face, she had a choice to make, and she chose to push him away. He stumbled backwards to the edge of the shadows of the basement’s darkest corners, and in that instant, a rotting hand grabbed him and violently yanked him into the darkness. The lights cut out, as shrieks and squeals echoed from the corner. Just as suddenly as they started, though, they stopped. She stood there, completely emotionless, in the pitch dark.
The basement was entirely silent, as was the outside world - the crickets were quiet, there was no wind, and the radiator had stopped humming. The moonlight seeping into the room illuminated only the floor, where a pool of crimson blood slowly grew larger. Out of the shadows stepped the being, its wet, skinned feet slapping against the concrete. It did not move towards her - it just stared.
Then, out of the one eye it still had, it began to cry. It did not make noise, but teardrops rolled down its cheeks, and the sound of them falling off of its face and into the puddle of blood became the only noise in the room. At that moment, she finally understood.
The light flicked back on, and it disappeared. She looked into the corner where her husband was dragged, and found nothing. She ascended the stairs, still in her nightgown and slippers, and opened the front door, shutting it behind her as she left.

I want to preface by saying that I know I did a bad thing. I never shouldve allowed my ex to raise puppies together. It's part of the reason he is my ex.
I found Appa as an infant 2 years ago. I bottle fed her and her siblings. She was the only one I was able to rehome. Bully breeds are hard to find homes for.
The owner gave her back maybe a month later and she was traumatized. Skinny. Scared of everything. Wouldn't let me even touch her except to get her into my car and away from that awful place. I don't know what they did to her but she was never the same.
After I left my ex and took Appa with me, I thought her reactivity would improve but it didn't. She was a little quieter. She didn't bark as much as she did when I lived with my ex. But still very people reactive.
So I started training her. I had my family members outside of our fence and throw her treats, show her they werent a threat. Ignore her. Let her run up to them and bark and run away. I gave her the choice if she wanted to approach them and she did. She'd have moments where she adored my mother and moments where she was back to being reactive.
Two weeks ago, I was bringing my mother out for reactivity training. Appa was already riled up from the neighbors walking their dogs and my brothers reactive mini pin was screaming at her.
My mom tried to open the gate and I told her no and to come around to the side of the fence to sit with her. So there was a protective barrier. My mom said sure. She tried to throw a chair over the side of the fence. My dog panicked. The gate wasn't latched.
She bit my mother.
This wasnt a warning bite. She grabbed and held on. Tugged like a police dog during bite training. I was mortified. 4 puncture wounds in my mother's arm and we rushed to the ER. No stitches were needed but antibiotics were given just in case.
We were making progress. She was able to calm herself around people. The treats were helping. We were closing the distance.
And then this happened.
My mom doesn't want to put Appa down. She knows what she means to me. I put everything I had into her. It was my fault she went to an abusive home. I wanted to give her a second chance. She loves cats. She loves dogs (that are polite) and she loved my mom.
My friend is a behaviorist and said it was a protection bite. Said that Appa was already overwhelmed by the dogs and people and it was just one of those bad moments. She said that Appa is very responsive to treats and the training and often grows to love a new person within ten minutes of meeting them.
But now she's bitten. And I'm worried it will happen again. I don't want to put her down. She's such a good girl. I don't know what happened in that house that made her so afraid of people. My friend says muzzle training will help with my anxiety but Appa knows how to take off her muzzle. I truly don't know what to do at this point.
Shes people reactive and that could hurt both of us. They could sue, take my dog away and charge me for thousands of dollars. If I could take her away from people I would, but I can't.
I want her to get better. But now that she's bitten...I don't know if that's possible.
Edit: She is a staffy

We had to put down our sweet 3 year old cat five days ago. It was very sudden and heartbreaking, and we cried all week. We got him as a kitten and my partner has had this dog since before we started dating (we've been together 7 years, and our dog is 11 years old now).
Our dog has been acting strange, I noticed it when our cat first got sick, she was very low energy on that day so I was worried both of them were sick. She is eating normally, drinking normally, and is excited to go outside as usual. But in the apartment she seems low energy, is laying at my feet under the desk as I work (which she's never done before), and kinda just laying around. They played together often but she did get jealous when we first got him, and is generally jealous when she's not getting attention. But they overall lived calmly together and played together everyday.
We've obviously been feeling grief-stricken and thinking about our cat in the days since. Is it possible that she's mourning the loss of her brother too? Or maybe she is feeling our grief? Or is she just getting older and starting to lose the non-stop energy she used to have? We’ve been giving her extra love and walks.
We do have a vet appointment scheduled this week to make sure all is well with her.

Having completed Curse of Strahd my players went roaming through Ravenloft. They're currently working through a converted Feast of Goblyns but having made some poor life choices met a ghost, someone rolled really badly and they're now panic-searching for a cleric within 24 hours before they look 38 forever and people start expecting them to know what to do with their lives.
Being a merciful DM I intend to give them access to someone who can cast Greater Restoration. Being a competent DM I don't intend to make it easy and my gaze fell on the Twisting Tower, a place said to hold a dark cabal of magic users who work for Gundar. All right, that's our place, let's flesh it out.
First, these people aren't particularly used to magic. Let's assume they're not particularly clear on the difference between "magic user" and "wizard" or for that matter the difference between "evil" and "wizard" so essentially all magic users get stuffed in there. Gundar is also the kind of overconfident idiot who creates vampires as well as vampire spawn so let’s put this tower under the control of one of the er, ex teenage girls. Let’s call her uh, Rebecca? She was a bookish girl who daydreamed about learning magic before they took her and since being turned a few decades ago that has turned into Must Gather Knowledge At All Costs. Important points:

• she’s a vampire with massive amounts of charm. So most of the people in the tower don’t currently want to escape because.. reasons. They also wear earrings which give them disadvantage on wisdom saving rolls which helps. (If the party looks they'll notice some ears have massive amounts of scarring around those earrings. They weren't exactly all delighted by new jewellery)
• if you happen to pass your wisdom saving roll, particularly if you haven’t got an earring in yet, you get stashed in a room blindfolded, gagged and gloved for twenty four hours until she can try again. Priest was relatively recently snatched and is decent on his wisdom saving rolls so that's where he is - and willing to help if they get him out.
• while they’re aware they’re owned by a vampire she tends to wear disguise self whilst being a vampire to look older and scarier. None of the magic users recognise her as Becky the sweet teenage girl who takes apprentice lessons off some of the wizards and sometimes gets taken away for a bit by guards
• the glory of keeping people charmed is that these people have drawn their own glyphs of warding, destroyed their own teleportation glyphs and built their own mechanical guards to keep themselves trapped. It is not a particularly difficult tower to get in. It is an absolutely awful one to leave though
• the tower is in the middle of an expanded magic circle set to keep anyone within from teleporting. It took a lot of working together to make it but they did. Again, they did this to themselves
• They also created and summoned a lot of the monsters guarding the place. The demon who someone sold their soul to for canaloths was particularly amused by the whole thing. The artificer responsible for building golems and magesteel (using u/oh_hi_mark_ s work https://www.reddit.com/UnearthedArcana/comments/16onk2k/magesteel_automata_four_low_level_construct/ ) finally passed a wisdom check one day and promptly killed himself.
• The walls are hollow. There are magerippers and gremishka in the walls
• She's not entirely cruel though. There is a very good library. And a bathroom and a kitchen with snacks. She doesn't even snack on them! Everything you want except your freedom.
• Because the Dark Powers have a horrible sense of humour it's been a hundred years and Becky is still an apprentice level wizard. What she does have other than charm however is a Ring of Spell Storing and all of the spell scrolls she hasn't yet given to Gunthar. Which don't always work but wizards can always make her more!
• I may well throw Vincent in there. He was last seen stomping away from the party in a huff. It would be like him to turn up with some skeletal cats.

Currently I'm fleshing out some thoughts using this map - https://www.reddit.com/dndmaps/comments/w5a7pm/wizards_tower_50x59_building_map/ - and some helpful thoughts from the nice folk at dndnext ( https://www.reddit.com/dndnext/comments/1d21ifj/comment/l61r3ni/?context=3 ) I rather like the thought that there's a Suggestion on the front door reminding you that you forgot to grab a book from the library, and if you make it out past that it gets really nasty.

Hello, I stumbled here after googling for some advice. I am chatting with the Animal shelter and plan to take my new adopted cat to the vet this week but I wanted to hear from some others about things I can try.
I adopted an approximately 13 year old male (fixed) longhair cat a week ago. He was sent to the shelter from his previous family (there were no details on why, but they indicated the family didn't like that he was aging which made me so sad). He has no medical records aside from the intake records from the shelter. The shelter had him for a month before I came in.
He is really skinny and dehydrated. I haven't seen him drinking water and when I do the 'pinch test' on his shoulder skin to check if he's dehydrated he always is. I took him to the shelter after two days to get him some fluids, and they taught me how to give fluids at home which I have been doing nearly daily (100 to 150 a day). He will eat a little bit of table scraps (some hotdog, some chicken) but turns up his nose at all of the cat food we give him. I bought some treats over the weekend and he ate those happily, but threw them all up not long after.
He regularly makes a kind of nearly throwing up sound, like something came up and he's fighting to keep it down. He's only actually thrown up three times, but three times in a week for a hungry dehydrated cat is really worrying.
We have 1 other cat who is 8 years old and is overweight (we have been trying to get her weight down for a long time - no table scraps for her, ever) and I'm just not very experienced with a cat that undereats.
Any tips, or foods that I can try? Is cat depression a thing?

I mean yes of course there are multiple jokes on it, reels too. But do you actually sit and think about it? Because I do and I wonder if I am the only one.
I think about Md Shami specifically. The way he wasn't in the playing XI initially but the moment he came, he started breathing fire. 4 wickets, 5 wickets, that seam that line that length. Everything is just worthy of capturing and framing. Playing against him, it felt like teams weren't even prepared. and then you had Bumrah. I mean I can imagine the strategy going on in opposition teams before the match. Play safe against shami. and Bumrah. and Siraj too. And the batsman is probably thinking who do I hit then? And then came kuldeep yadav. Just beautiful deliveries. On one spot, one after another. That slight variation, that slight flight, and boom a wicket. Jadeja on the other hand, squeezed the opposition of runs. Where do you score? How do you score?
And then, after being through all this, if you have been able to put some sort of score and wish to defend it. Rohit and Virat are standing there. Waiting for you to come. Oh those pull shots. Those flicks. Especially that lofted shot Rohit plays over mid on in powerplay. Not to forget straight drives from Gill that give ever so slight nostalgia about the little master. To top that off, you had Iyer, Rahul and SKY. The way Rahul played in those tricky situations. Those shorts with the straight bat. And those slogs by SKY. How did we not win?
Am I alone thinking about this here. I'm sorry for the rant but I can't really move on. It's personal. I was preparing for CAT (competitive exam). It was the most important thing for my career. But India was performing so good that I watched all the matches. So much so that I watched the final on 19th November, when my exam was on 26th. I just refuse to believe that we didn't win. 2011 Cup we won. That was good. I was a kid back then. Didn't know how big of a deal it was. 2012 was a traumatic year for me as a new fan. All I remember is Ian bell and Alister Cook literally cooking us in tests in India. 2013, we make a comeback. Oh those shikar rohit partnerships and that Ashwin Magic. Those spells from Ishant Sharma. What a time to be alive. That final, washed out, turned to T20. India posts a mere 129. But that spell from Ishant Sharma in the end, those two wickets, both caught by Ashwin. and then the last over bowled by Ashwin too. 1 ball 6 runs needed. Batsman misses it, so does dhoni, but we win the champions Trophy and I remember raina dancing in Champagne, wearing white blazers.
That year made me a fan, perhaps it shouldn't have. Because 2014 T20 World Cup, final with sri lanka, again only 130 required to win and SL does it easily. Then west Indies, Pakistan, New Zealand, England and now Australia. But you know what hurts the most? The final against Australia, play a 100 matches with that team in that form, that team would lose 1 out of 100. Why does that 1 have to be the final? I can't forget that image of someone patting on Md Shami's back in the dressing room after the loss. The faces. Oh how they changed. It's also poetic. We didn't have a best fielders award in finals, not because fielding was poor. But because, It didn't even matter.
I'm sorry I know I'm just ranting and going nowhere. But I wish I had somewhere to go to. How do I muster up courage to watch this T20. Tbf, looking at the squad and current form, I have good reason to believe we are not going into the Semis. Everybody asks when would we have an ICC trophy. Let me ask you, when would we have a team as lethal as the one we had in CWC23.
I'll end my rant with a song, I often sing to myself.
Mujhe teri mohabbat ka, sahara mil gaya hota.
Agar toofaan nhi aata, kinara mil gaya hota.
Na tha manjoor kismat ko, Na thi marji baharo ki,
Nahi toh is gulistan mein, kami thi kya Nazaaro ki?
Meri Nazaro ko bhi koi, nazaara mil gaya hota.
Agar toofaan nhi aata, Kinara mil gaya hota.

Hi everyone! A few weeks ago, my partner and I adopted two cats from a shelter. There have been some bumps along the way but nothing that we haven't been able to work out. However, we're now starting to notice some new behavior that I can't find much information about and I wanted to make sure it's okay.
For context, the 2 cats consist of Drew, a 1 year old boy who's long/big and slightly overweight, and Star, a 1.5 year old girl who's extremely small for her age (We took her to the vet because we were concerned and the vet said that while she's structurally fine she may have been the runt of the litter and is much smaller than most cats her age). Star became extremely sick with an URI when we first got her and mostly kept to herself while Drew explored and has been generally acting like a cat, however since then she's gotten much better and they've started playing with each other like at the shelter.
The (potential) problem is that they like to play-fight and there is such a strong contrast between the two that it is almost impossible for Star to win. While she consents and often starts the wrestling herself, as the play-fight goes on she starts getting more and more agitated, meows turn to hissing, but Drew won't back off. In fact he gets more aggressive and often starts hitting/bitting her. We've found on multiple occasions that unless one of us steps in between them or distracts Drew with a toy that he will keep going until she runs to a safe space we made for her (Chonky boy can't fit through a narrow gap).
The other problem is that we're noticing this is part of a pattern of behavior with Drew. He has food insecurity, in that he will eat his food faster than any cat I've ever seen and then immediately start trying to eat Star's food as well. He likes to bite, which I've read is completely normal for a developing cat, but when he sleeps in his bed he will make biscuits while biting the hell out of the bed, which I read is a sign of a cat who was weaned too early from their mom.
Contradictorily, he doesn't act 99% of the time like I pictured an "aggressive" cat would act. While he scarfs down as much food as he physically can, he's completely fine with Star sharing it with him, even eating out of the same bowl. They can share the same space for long periods of time, they are even sleeping on opposite sides of me right now. We can give him medicine completely fine (Well, as fine as you can give a cat medicine haha, but he doesn't bite us or hiss when we hold him). Are we overthinking this? We have bandaid solutions for most of the issues (separate rooms while eating, safe spaces for Star, etc) but we can't keep an eye on them 24/7 and we're kinda worried that this borders on bullying.

Platform: PC
Genre: Sandbox
Estimated year of release: late 90's - mid 2000's
Graphics/art style: Simple 3D graphics. I don't recall any sound effects, the game was eerily quiet.
Notable characters: There were a bunch of different animals you could select. In particular I remember cats, dogs, horses, big cats (lion or tiger I think), zebras, unicorns, and dragons.
I remember picking up this strange game from some store (a target I think?) one day when my family was returning home from visiting relatives. I don't remember the name but I remember the cover had some of the animals in it on it, I want to say the dragon (a classic green dragon) was the main animal on the cover. I really struggle to call this a "game" it was basically just a flat plain (in my memory it kind of looked like pleasentview in sims 2) and you could select one the species of animals to spawn into the field. You could only have 3 of those animals out (a mom, dad, and baby) and only one species out at a time. They'd basically just walk around and do an idle animation. You could also I think place food for the animals, like hay or meat, but I honestly don't remember them interacting with it. You could also alter the terrain like making hills or peaks, or turning the whole map water but I think the animals despawned if you did that- I don't remember any of them swimming- I don't think they had a swimming animation. The whole thing felt very eerie and unsettling, albiet unintentionally. It just felt... off.
I wish I could remember the title, I think it had like fantasy or 3D in the name? But I had another pet game with 3D in the title around the same time which I could be confusing it with. I think it was fairly old I remember it being a bit of a struggle making it run on our pc that we had around like 2004-2007- I don't recall the exact type of pc aside from it being a windows computer. It felt kinda sketchy, the install menu was a default non customized little grey box and there wasn't an intro from what I remember. I was scared it was a virus at first. The game would just start- we lost the disc about a month later as we did with most of our discs. The only reason I know it was even real and not some fever dream is the fact that my sister remembers this game too. I cannot find any trace of it anywhere

Hey there! I’ve been so worried for the past 4 days, wondering if this is scabies or just some reaction to the fleas I’ve spotted in my house. We have for indoor only cats and they probably with us from the playground, there are many stray cats around and a giant sand play area. I’ve been concerned because I have an 19 months old toddler and want to make sure whatever it is, he does not get it.
They scratched a lot one night, then it all subsided and today I am barely aware of them. The photo shows one on my internal thighs area, but I have one in my ankle and another one on my shin too. I was wondering if I should wait or book an appointment with a dermatologist to have it checked. Thank you all in advance!

In 2020, I found a kitten at my job napping on a case of canned tomatoes; he was named Tomato, of course, and went by Toro for short (pronounced more like"toh-doh"). My boyfriend and I were not going to keep him originally because we were worried about affordability/potentially moving around, but we decided that if we couldn't find anyone, we would keep him. He was honestly such a bad boy, and he wasn't very nice. He tipped a cup of water onto my laptop (and it became useless), I don't know how many cups/vases he has broken, ripped up toilet paper and paper towels and even figured out how to open the closet when we tried to hide them in there. He was aggressive and liked to bite, and would wake us up to be fed by biting and stepping on our faces - not to mention, his bowl was usually full, he just wanted a "fresh" scoop. I'd joke about hating him and he sometimes frustrated me to the point where I have said that I wanted to re-home him (which realistically I would never do, but he made me realize why some people might choose to do so).
But he also loved to be held, and loved to play, and would greet us whenever we got home (especially my boyfriend, who he would climb on top of to loaf on). And gosh he was as smart as he was handsome. He had many lovable quirks about him, he was just misunderstood. He taught me a lot about unconditional love.
He got sick about a week ago with liver issues. He had always been a slender cat, but he had been losing weight very gradually over the past few months and we addressed it with the vet in the beginning of May. He wasn't underweight (9lbs), but he was bony. They ran some bloodwork and everything came back normal. They didn't seem very concerned with it and said just "feed him more" and monitor him. I tried to give him more kibble, and I hadn't noticed if he was eating less. He acted his usual self and then suddenly, one day. he was a different, quiet cat. We did everything we could to save him and figure out what was wrong with him, he stayed at the hospital for almost a week for testing and supportive care. We watched him become less and less of himself, we watched him become more and more yellow (jaundice). We took him home to spend one last day with him. We cuddled him and told him how much we love him and spent a good amount of time in the yard (he always tried to escape to eat grass). And then we took him back to the vet and said the hardest goodbye. He slipped away peacefully in our arms, with us ensuring him that he didn't have to fight or suffer anymore, and thanked him for a wonderfully chaotic 4 years.
I will never regret being there for his final moments, but I feel that it has broke something deep within myself. And I can't stop blaming myself for not having caught it sooner, or not trying to feed him something other than his kibbles when we came back from the first vet visit. Maybe if he had started eating more then, when he had an appetite, he'd still be here. It's useless to entertain those thoughts but I can't help it. I'd do anything to have him back. He was just a baby. He was my boyfriend and I's first pet together, and our first pet as adults.
The house is peaceful now without him, but ironically, that is exactly why it doesn't feel peaceful. Toro's chaos became my new peace. Instead of hearing glass breaking, or sunglasses falling on the floor, or his ugly meowing because he wants to go outside, it is just silent. And that makes me feel immensely and incredibly empty. I have lost pets before, but for some reason, this one hurts in a very unique and distinctive way.
I'm so sorry we couldn't have done more for you my handsome baby boy 💔

Hi everyone! I come looking for help in regards to my roommates new kitten. Roomie doesn't know how reddit works so I'm writing for her. So, this is what information she wants to relay:

• So, roomie got this kitten at 8 weeks old from a family member, she had frequently met this kitty before adopting him and at those times he was very shy compared to his siblings but very affectionate.
• The first week and a half, the kitten was as sweet as can be and super affectionate, always wanting to cuddle or following roomie or me. [We both work from home.]
• Suddenly he starts to swipe, spit and hiss, arch his back and walk sideways towards us. We think maybe he needs to get more energy out so we buy him more toys. Kickers, balls, crinkly things, wands... But playing with him does not calm him down.
• The days go on, he begins to run towards us to bite as hard as he can, swipe with claws and if we sit anywhere, he comes to wrap himself around our limbs to bite and claw, bunny kick. He jumps to charge at our faces.
• We try to say 'ow' out loud or making noises of pain, this only makes him more eager to continue his attacks? Even when we remove him and place him elsewhere he comes running back and attacks. A lot of the time when he gets like this, his eyes kind of have this crazed look in them and he keeps his mouth open to snarl haha
• We've looked up different diffusing techniques, like rubbing his nose, to say ow or similar, to ignoring him but he only follows, to try to distract with toys but he doesn't care about toys when he wants to charge, putting him in another room for a bit but he only continues when we let him back out... And a lot more.
• We've both had playful cats in the past, but this is. A lot. We don't know why he is suddenly acting like this :(( It has gone to the point where roomie doesn't want to go to bed because the kitten claws and bites her face when she goes to bed and she feels guilty closing the door.

Any help would be appreciated! thnx!

Hello everyone,
I have a kitty who randomly developed a severe flea allergy about a year ago. She's been in the cone for probably 10 of the last 12 months. Each time we feel like we make progress and we can free her, it's about two weeks before she starts tearing her face up again.
We keep a clean house and vacuum at least once a week. We keep her on two different types of flea medications. We have two other cats and also have them on flea medications. We never really see fleas, it just seems she is so severely allergic that if one happens to work it's way inside and bite her that she'll start tearing her face up.
At this point, I just want some comfort for my poor kitty. We've gone through 5 different cones and she has learned how to get around all of them. The only one that seems to somewhat keep her from scratching her face (she can still get around it but less than the others) is an oversized cone for a medium sized dog but it impairs her movement and I can tell is a little heavy for her.
Is there any advice on cones or anything we can do to help the situation?

TLDR: My mom cheated on my dad for almost thirteen years, and she leaves home on June 15. I still love my mom. what should I do for these 20 days?
Hi. I'm 19M in South Korea. I was once in college dorm but I'm staying at home till this December since I have to go to the army.
the background
My dad discovered that my mom cheated on him for about THIRTEEN years on Sep 2023. My parents got into a huge fight for and entire month, almost fell into a divorce. But my dad decided to protect my family including my mom, going to see a therapist and takes sleeping pills and drinks alcohol almost every week, it lasted until this year's April. My mom admitted that she cheated on him, and spilled all of her "significant other"'s phone number, home address, where he works, or so. (idk the vocabulary, I'll just call him C from now on)
My dad emailed C's boss with a text message capture of C and my mom. C got fired and his family is also falling into divorce.
After all this my parents, C and his wife make a legal compromise to not destroy others anymore.
problems
My dad thinks she should take everything and regret everyday like a dead human. But even though my mom is an asshole she does not want to get blamed for her mistake. Every single time when my dad blames her she immediately tries to commit suicide. she says "You and your dad are all the same. You guys always think I must smile, I must endure your harassments, and I cannot say a single word. That's it. It will all over when I disappear. You guys asked for it." and goes to the rooftop of the apartment. And she said she is leaving the house not because she cheated, but she cannot take me and my father anymore. They fight once every weekend night. I got traumatized that I just get totally frozen when I hear bedroom door opening and get afraid whether my parents got into another conflict, or if my mom is going to commit suicide.
what should I do?
This long, long fight is finally coming to an end. My parents will divorce on June 15th and My mom will leave this house and will stay at her mother's place. I wanted to stop but my father's mental health is getting worse, so I just decided to give my dad some peace.
But I cannot imagine my home without my mom. I always like wholesome moments with my mom like showing her cute rabbit and cat videos and laughing. My dad said I can still see her, but you know.
I still love her regardless of what she has done. I am her son after all. I'd like to apologize everything I did wrong to my mom. like yelling at her, not responding to her, crying in front of her, etc. What else should I do? Please help me. I am thinking of writing a letter to her.
(note: I am writing this since there's no appropriate website in Korea. English is not my first language so forgive my rambling and grammar errors.)

TL;DR: The difference between AI and human consciousness is merely an arbitrary threshold (spectrum of thresholds?) of behaviors and expectations that give rise to empathy. Empathy is related in someway to how we define personhood/consciousness.
I'm just a layman with a thought that I'm working out as I go, please bear with me. Let me know if I used the correct tag too. Thanks.
I've been thinking about AI a bunch lately. When does AI become conscious; when do we assign personhood, etc. When I think about what would make me personify a robot, I imagine this ad I saw for Ballie, an AI bot home assistant. It does tasks in a smart home on schedule and can activate appliances like Roombas to clean up after stuff. I could see myself treating it like a cute kitten. I could feel something for a small robot which aids me and responds in some sort of way. It's kinda the same way that I view a cat. I don't assign it full personhood because it does not respond to me as i would expect a "true" person to do. When I talk to it, I don't expect it to understand the depth of what I'm saying to it, but I still treat it with compassion and talk to it as if it were human. Its just a matter of a thing, exhibiting predictive behavior and responding to commands/prompts, would give me some sort of gratitude that I feel embodies a characteristic of personhood.
I guess where I'm going is that AGI, when it's achieved will essentially be conscious. I might even say that current AI is already a *form* of consciousness. it just doesn't pass enough thresholds for us to feel a particular way about it. I would say that consciousness is just some sort of complex algorithm of predictions and responses. I guess this might also lead me to believe in pure determinism or something close to it. I would need to think further on this. But I would appreciate feedback to arrive at a fuller perspective.
Thank you for reading. :)

Please note that I was raised to respect my elders. Basically, I was raised in a way that makes me a subordinate to anyone who biologically older than me. That sort of thing.
Story 1:
So, I am at my Mom’s birthday party with my girlfriend at the time. The other party goers are the parents of my then girlfriend, and, obviously, my Mom. My sweet little kitty cat is NOT all that young, so, yeah. I figure that IS an important detail.
So, anyway, we are just doing our own thing, and I am sitting with my girlfriend, where, for some reason, my cat decided to jump behind my Dad, who is sitting in a recliner. I just whispered to my girlfriend that my cat was going to give my Dad some kisses. I hoped to have THAT as a memory. But, NO. Of course not! Immediately, my Dad decided that it would be a "brilliant" or "FUNNY" idea to do this bucking bronco thing to make my cat hit the ground. Hard. As soon as the cat hit the floor, I was stunned to see my Dad and my girlfriend’s parents LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF to the fact that my cat hit the ground. I gave my Dad a stone cold look, and said "Not impressed", and THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END of the stupidity. Once again, I was proven WRONG. My cat jumped behind my Dad a second time, probably to give him a second chance. My Dad did the stupid thing again (bucking bronco, best I can describe it), only for my cat to not fall. Then, my Dad decided to recline, and he does it at a nice, SLOW pace. At first. After I think that my Dad was FINALLY coming to his senses, he STUPIDLY accelerates hard, forcing my cat to hit the ground. Once again, uproarious laughter from my Dad and my girlfriend’s parents. NOBODY ELSE. I react the same way. "Not impressed" I say with a frown.
Anyway, comes dessert time, and everyone enjoys it. Now, you probably think I contaminated my Dad’s dessert, but, I wouldn’t do, not even as an act of revenge. Instead, when comes the time to pick up the plates, I pick up everybody’s plates, EXCEPT for my Dad, and he points out that I didn’t pick up HIS plate. I made sure he knew that my choice was deliberate. I said to him "You want to be cold?", referring to the atrocities that have been inflicted upon my cat. It is important to know that, after the second act of stupidity, my cat was AFRAID of approaching the crowd. In fact, I checked up on her in my room, and she was very afraid. She didn’t act defensively against me, and I just wrapped her in one of my robes to comfort her, and she could enjoy my scent.
Probably going to post this in "Am I the asshole", but, I get the feeling that the majority of readers will side with me.
Story 2: Girlfriend’s dog attacks my cat. I stop it in an instant!
Yes, my cat is ATTACKED.
This happened after the story in the initial post.
So, I am with the same girlfriend, and she is driving me on the snowmobile on the property. However, she ends up tipping the snowmobile, and breaks her wrist. At the time, we did NOT know it.
Anyway, I just stay with her to comfort my girlfriend about the accident, and I hear a VERY nerve wracking proposition. "Let’s get the dog and the cat to play. By the by, the dog is BIG, and is triggered by smaller animals that growl at her. I try to warn them that it’s NOT a good idea. The dog’s family KNOWS that the dog is danger to smaller animals who growl at her - THEY have told ME about their dog being triggered by smaller animals growling at her, which baffles me. I know my cat is territorial, since… she’s a cat. Anyway, it’s not long before I hear the dreaded sound of the dog barking at my sweet kitty. I BOLT to the scene, and strike the dog just hard enough to stop her. However, the dog attempts to CLAMP HER JAWS AROUND MY CAT'S HEAD. I separated the jaws to force the dog to release my cat (no worries-my cat is still alive). I shove the dog away to the dog’s human family, and I darkly said "Let this stupid shit happen again, and I won’t be so nice." Prior to the shove, EVERYONE WATCHING was just standing there like statues. I am a bit fuzzy about if I flipped the bird/double bird at the dog, but, I remember that I DEFINITELY considered it. That is just how fast THAT happened.
Now, fast forward to when we are going to the hospital. I overheard someone say "I guess the dog won’t play with the cat ever again", to which I shouted "Fucking told you so!"
Not sure if I flipped the bird at the dog after the shove, but, I definitely have considered it.

In the real world, humans love chocolate, but it kills dogs. Humans eat onions, but it kills cats. Birds love those little red berries that grow in the winter, but they'll make humans sick. Presumably, things would work similarly in a fantasy setting. Like, maybe onions poison tabaxi, cinnamon is deadly to dragonborn, and dwarves use nightshade like we use basil. So how do spells work? If a human casts detect poison it, will it detect onions, or will a tabaxi accidentially get sick, thinking the food was magically detected as safe? What if a dragonborn casts purify food and drink on my cinnamon rolls?

I'm so furious. Do I have a case to sue? I'm sorry this is so long.
I've been taking my cat to Banfield for years now because they offer a wellness plans for FIV positive cats. My cat is FIV positive, so he's immunocompromised. An infection can kill him. That's an important detail. I pay them $65 dollars a month, and it covers 2 annual physicals and 1 annual dental cleaning. It doesn't cover any visits beyond that, but it still saves me a lot of money.
For the longest time, I would take him to this one particular doctor who loved my cat and I didn't suspect anything. I think he must have left because now he sees a totally different doctor every time he goes in, and that's when things went south. They tell me something new is wrong with him at every visit. According to them, he has heartworms, heart disease, kidney disease, and "a little gingivitis, but he'll be fine". However I got suspicious when they would either call me and tell me something so provably false that I would assume they're mixing him up with another cat, or tell me something that would be totally contradicted when I look at his actual lab reports.
So I decided to get a second opinion. My therapist recommended I take him to her vet and that she's been taking her cats there for 24 years. I look online, and a lot of people agreed with her that they're amazing. I book an appointment, tell her everything, she does a myriad of tests that Banfield never performed.
He does NOT have heartworms.
He does NOT have heart disease.
He does NOT have kidney disease.
She looked at his teeth and suggested I bring him back asap for a dental cleaning. I was already planning to do just that, so I booked the appointment right then.
I took him in this morning for the dental cleaning. She calls me and tells me that he has 6 teeth that urgently need removed, one that oozes pus when probed. I'm honestly questioning if they even cleaned his teeth all these years or if they just drugged him and brushed them with a toothbrush or something. The fact that he's been living with 6 teeth hurting him all the time, for God knows how long now, is heartbreaking enough. However, they know he's FIV positive. They know he can't fight infections. They know an infected tooth can kill him. Yet, they ignored it and just told me he's fine. I'm guessing they don't pull teeth there, or perform any real dental procedures that he needed, and that's why. They could have referred me to another dentist. Instead, they have me thinking he just has bad breath, but all is fine.
I asked the doctor how long this would have been going on before it got to this point. Years. Also, he didn't just have "a little gingivitis", it was periodontal disease and it eating away from his bones for years. So, they can't claim they didn't know, and they can't claim this happened after his last cleaning.
Here's another factor that might be irrelevant, but I have Fibromyalgia. I live with pain everyday. On a good day, my pain will be a 4. On a bad day it will be a 10 and totally disabling. One proven thing that makes the pain worse, is stress. My cat is the center of my universe. I love him so much. I'm getting him cryopreserved when he dies. Just in case there's ever a possibility I can have him again somehow. When Banfield makes up a new terrifying diagnosis, it doesn't just effect him, It affects me. Not just emotionally, but physically. I don't know if I could get pain and suffering for both of us, but they have absolutely caused us both pain and suffering.
They told me at his last visit that I need to start bringing him in weekly now so they can monitor the progression of his imaginary diseases. Which, by the way, isn't included in the wellness plan, and is insanely expensive out of pocket. I don't think their motive in all of this could be more apparent. Also, it's recommended that you should avoid unnecessary vet visits for FIV positive cats. Why? Because sick animals go there. It increases their chance of getting something they can't fight off. Do they care about that? No. They're trying to convince me to bring him weekly to monitor diseases they know he doesn't even have.
Here's the ultra frustrating part. I can't cancel his wellness plan. I can, but I would have to pay them back for all the "savings" from his visits this year. Which would cost more than continuing to pay them $65 a month for the rest of the year. Which, is ridiculous to have to pay them, despite the fact that my cat WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THEM AGAIN.
I want to sue them.
For anyone that's made it this far, you must like reading. So here's a funny tidbit I left out to make the story as short as possible. The last time they called me, I decided to challenge them a little bit. I asked them "why is it that in all of his lab reports, the heartworm results are all negative or n/a?" She says, "oh it's a bug in the system. I'll have to contact IT to get it corrected". I continued asking them about other things contradicted by the lab results, and suddenly she starts going, "hello? Hello? I can't hear you. are you still there? I can't hear you. I'm going to hang up and call you right back". She did not call me back, of course. Instead she waited a few hours and called my fiancé, who's the second point of contact.

Context
We grew up in a pretty unorthodox family life, my dad is physically handicapped from a back disease and has been difficult to interact with since he suffered a brain aneurysm. Without going into details, he retired early and has gradually needed more help with things around the house. During childhood he would usually only ask me for help with things, especially anything physical. This was in part because he felt that these jobs were men's work and also because any time she was asked to do something she would have a fit. I resented my sister for a long time because of this.
Mom worked a lot to support us, so she was very stressed and not always home. When she was, she would often argue with my dad about the mortgage, bills, and whatever else. I think this had a serious effect of the both of us, as I resented my mom for a long time for screaming at the volumes she did. While a lot of the reasons were admittedly well founded, my mom has a serious problem with droning on and if she receives pushback, she gets upset.
My sister and my mom fought a lot growing up, over grades, food, dad, whatever. Also my sister got bullied a lot too, to the point where she has told me there were times she was contemplating suicide.
Today, I think all in all things are a bit better. I don't hold my dad's choices against her anymore, so we are somewhat better off; we're both in college and getting good grades, she's going into her sophomore year with a 3.5 GPA and I'm really proud of her.
The problem
It's summer and we are both back at home, and I'm realizing more and more how difficult it can be to interact with her if we have a disagreement on anything. A while ago my mom said that my sister has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, I don't know if that was a fact or if she just said that but upon researching, a LOT of her habits lined up. While we are on better terms than when we were kids, I don't know if its going to remain that way, or if I even want it that way. Every time we disagree on anything she gets defensive, angry, and stonewalls any input thereafter. A big topic this summer for us has been our diet, as all of us could stand to eat better. I am trying to create a meal plan for us but she wont even give me the time of day to look it over and see what she thinks, and I know for a fact when inevitably she gets served something she doesn't like, she's going to complain and inevitably make something else instead (which is exactly what I want to avoid with the meal plan).
She also is pushing for us to get a new cat, after a cat we had last year got hit by a car. I have told her several times that I am not ready and I would feel like it's a replacement, but she seems to want to go ahead anyways. She has also declared that she gets absolute say about what color the cat is and the name, even though I don't like her ideas for those either. I feel like she doesn't care about my feelings. She has tried a couple times to help me feel better but they sum up with her saying "its not a replacement", even though in reality its just her not seeing it that way and I do. She says at this point she "gives up trying to please me" even though she's made no concessions whatsoever. She's not willing to budge on the name, the color, anything. The truce we have finally reached is that she will stop bringing it up around me, I'm happy with this because I really don't think that our parents are going to go for it, because we cant shell out the money for another cat.
It's stuff like this that makes me think about the future and our relationship, our mom has said that she wants us to be close throughout our lives. I want this too, but I really don't feel like she is making the effort to do so. I text her while at school but she only speaks when spoken to, I ask her what she wants for dinner but she never worries what I want. I feel like she doesn't want that, and there have even been times where this has been hung over my head in arguments between us.
Any time someone brings up the potential of her having ODD she immediately gets incredibly defensive, no matter what you say she wont listen unless its some sort of clapback or insult. She always needs the last word too which is even more infuriating, it's so petty
I can fully admit that I can get more than a bit heated in some of these arguments, which I do need to work on and is a contributing factor. I want to note however that the only thing I have noticed I get genuinely angry over is when I feel I am not being heard or listened to. I feel that often with her. I don't think its going to change.
Any time I bring up the idea of therapy with my mother or sister it gets shut down either on the basis of finances or defensiveness, So I have no idea what to do to help.
If anyone has anything that I can do to help the situation, please let me know. I can't keep going on like this with her.
TL;DR! I have trouble communicating with my sister, and I worry we won't be on good terms in life.

Hi all,
I'm trying to help my dad in Colorado (from back here in Virginia) with a new AC system. He has a 1900 sq ft single family house, in the Denver area. He had a local company (family owned & operated, well reviewed) come out and give what I thought was a very high-level quote (no breakdown of prices at all, just an out-the-door price, for a 'Good', 'Best', & 'Fantastic' system). He seems to think the middle, or 'Best' system, makes sense, and I was looking for some feedback on that one, based on the following info:
Lennox Equipment: - EL16XC1-030-230 Elite - High Efficiency, Single Stage - (13H77) Air Conditioner • 30,000 BTUs • 17.9 SEER • 15.2 SEER2 • 10 Year Parts Warranty • 1 Year Labor Guarantee • 10 Year Compressor Warranty

• EL280UH070XE36A Elite - Standard Efficiency, Two Stage, Constant Torque - (17D38) Gas Furnace • 70,000 BTUs • 80% AFUE • 10 Year Parts Warranty • 1 Year Labor Guarantee • 20 Year Heat Exchanger Warranty
  
• CX35-30/36A-6F Lennox (10C49) Indoor Unit (Coil)
  

Accessories: Indoor Air Quality - Aprilaire Media 16"x25" Mer Nominal (1410) Fabricate Transition Or Replace Existing Return Air Drop If Necessary
Humidifiers & Dehumidifiers - Aprilaire 700 Automatic Power Humidifier - 18 GPD - Includes Stainless Steel Ball Valve, Outdoor Temperature Sensor (if applicable) /Warranty: 5 Year Parts Manufacture/1 Year Labor SAC Mechanical
Install Materials: - 6 foot Electrical Whip IMS LIST PRICE - County Permit AC/Furnace Package - Diversitech Lennox Cat# X8109 1.5-3 Ton 35 x 39 x 3", UltraLite Lightweight Wedge Concreate Pad - Line Set - PVC-Drain / Condensate Drain - Return Air Filter Box - 6" Riser Box
Summary: Price: $16,677
Senior Discount: $500
Total: $16,177
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