Conceiving naturally after clomid

So, I posted this theory a while back but it seems that most people didn’t read through it due to it being too long. So here I am back again with my best to briefly summarize the theory with the major points of evidence from the comics that I have found. It’s still going to be a lot but, hopefully, this will help get the broad idea across. Then if you have any specific points you can hopefully find them answered in the sections beneath it.
For context, you only need to read the Basic Premise section to get the basic gist of the theory, all the remaining sections are where I outline the evidence to support it.
~Basics of the Theory~

Nightcrawler is the Winding Way is basically the idea that X-Men’s Nightcrawler got his soul ripped in half when he was a child by his adopted mother – Margali Szardos – who used the magical half of Kurt’s soul to form the source of her power, the Winding Way.
Nightcrawler would have inherited this magical power from Azazel, who he is still technically biologically related to, as well as potentially the combination of genes from Mystique, Destiny, and Baron Wagner.
Amanda Sefton – after seeing Margali use Illyana’s Soul-Sword to obtain power in the Winding Way, took over Limbo to study it before fusing it with Kurt’s soul in the hopes of being able to use the Soul-Sword to undo her mother’s work and restore Kurt to being whole again.
Ultimately, Destiny gave the baby Kurt to Margali knowing full well she would do this to him to hide his true power from Enigma (the Nathaniel Essex that became a Dominion), who she had Kurt concieved in order to defeat.
Additionally, she told Margali of a prophecy about a Soul-Sword falling into Margali’s hands knowing that Margali would attempt to steal Belasco’s Soul-Sword, that Belasco would turn his attention to Nightcrawler to steal that magical power for herself which would result in Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco after he gave up trying to steal the power from Kurt and thus create said Soul-Sword as well as – eventually – the Hope-sword.

~Part 1 – Margali Szardos is the Worst Adoptive Mother of All Time~
Margali Szardos is a powerful witch in Marvel comics who has shown being particularly hungry for magical power – doing everything from manipulating her daughter, Amanda Sefton, into getting her Illyana’s Soul-Sword so that she could use it in a killing spree to obtain magical power from her victims (Excalibur #85), to attempting to steal the power of a demon living under London nearly destroying it in the process (Excalibur #100), to forcibly mind-swapping with her daughter to save herself leaving Amanda to be tortured by Belasco (revealed X-Men: Unlimited #19), opening a magical rift to the World Beyond to obtain its power which forced her daughter to sacrifice herself to close it (4^th Nightcrawler series #1-4), to finally selling Nightcrawler out to ORCHIS to obtain the Hope-sword that was lodged in Kurt’s chest (Legion of X #7-10).
All of these villainous actions raise an important question – why did Margali adopt Nightcrawler? After all, it’s not like Margali went around adopting children – only Nightcrawler. In fact, outside of Kurt, the only other child that Margali has ever displayed an interest in obtaining was a young Scarlet Witch (Mystic Arcanum: Scarlet Witch) which is concerning given just how magically powerful Scarlet Witch is.
This all points to the idea that Margali only took Kurt in because she got something out of it – very likely magical power. This wouldn’t be nearly so concerning if Margali Szardos wasn’t also the Sorceress Supreme of one of the most mysterious and unexplained magical systems in all of Marvel.
~Part 2 – The Winding Way is WIERD~
So, I’m just going to come out and say it - the Winding Way makes no sense in the current understanding of magic in Marvel Comics. Even characters like Dr. Strange – one of Marvel’s masters of magic – has basically no idea how the Winding Way actually operates. There is a data page in Legion of X #9 that outlines the basics of what the Winding Way is and how it operates.
According to the data page, the Winding Way is an exocentric magic system – that is to say a form of magic that is powered by an external source to the user – which its various wielders experience cycles of power and powerlessness. As far as characters like Strange are aware, it remains unclear if there is a physical “Way” or if that is simply metaphor.
The strange thing about the Winding Way is that there is no other magical system in Marvel where this cycle of users having powers and being powerless is even a thing. Whenever an exocentrically powered sorcerer loses their powers, it is always a form of punishment. This is true with Dr. Strange when he lost 99% of his powers back during the War of the Seven Spheres story. This is true with Juggernaut who loses his powers whenever he and Cyttorak – the entity that powers the crimson gem that Juggernaut uses for his powers. It’s even true for someone like Thor and his hammer. No where else in Marvel is there a system of magic where cycles of power is a thing.
All of this raises the question of whether the fluctuating cycles of power the Winding Way are actually a natural part of the Winding Way or whether they due to something else – like, say the power source of the Winding Way trying to continuously punish the various practitioners but being unable to due to their attention being split up.
Ultimately, the only truth that we can glean about the Winding Way is that nobody but the practitioners of the Winding Way ultimately know how it works and even then, characters like Margali and Amanda have proven time and again that their word cannot be trusted.
~Part 3 – the Szardos Family, Cthon, & Wundagore Mountain~
Interestingly, a different Sorcerer Supreme Sgt. Sebastian Szardos – the Sorcerer Supreme of World War II – has his own insights about the Winding Way, though they are rather vague. Firstly, in the 8^th series of Avengers #50, Sebastian claims that the Winding Way has ties with Mt. Wundagore – which was famously the tomb of Cthon before Scarlet Witch absorbed him. This seems to suggest that the Winding Way originates either via Cthon or his creation – the Darkhold.
What is more interesting is that the Winding Way doesn’t seem to be practiced during the time of the Second World War as Sgt. Szardos states that only his great grandmother on his mothers side even knew about the Winding Way – Sebastian himself clearly wasn’t a practicing member. This is peculiar as Margali Szardos demonstrates an unusual amount of familiarity with the position of Sorcerer Supreme in Uncanny X-Men Annual #4 when she stole the Eye of Agamotto off of Dr. Strange with a mere gesture. Given that Sebastian and Margali share the last name and Sebastian was a known former Sorcerer Supreme while Margali – as far as I can tell – has never been, this would seem to suggest that there is some sort of familial connection between Margali and Sebastian. This in turn seems to suggest that the Winding Way experienced some sort of revival with Margali.
My theory is that the Winding Way started out as a sort of ritual that originated with the Darkhold and was initially practiced by the Szardos family over the centuries to siphon power off of Cthon to keep him in check and imprisoned - hence why there are other Szardos clan members such as Theodosia as shown in that run of Avengers. This would mean that if my theory of Nightcrawler being the Winding Way is true, then it would mean that he is only the current source of the Winding Way.
~Part 4 – Nightcrawler is still related to Azazel (and Azazel is a demon)~
Now a major aspect in this is that Nightcrawler is where exactly would Nightcrawler’s magical powers come from? After all, he’s the son of Mystique and Destiny – two mutants with no sort of magical capabilities, right? Well, that’s… complicated.
Firstly, it’s important to note that the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon is… frankly, not very well thought out. There are a bunch of things that it just gets plain wrong and contradict a bunch of previously established X-Men lore – everything from the fact that Destiny would have been too old to give birth to Nightcrawler, to Rogue’s age being way too young (she was adopted by D&M when she was 13 not 5), to the fact that Mystique canonically cannot mimic mutant x-genes - meaning Nightcrawler shouldn’t have teleportation with this retcon, and much, much more. On top of all that, the fact that the only evidence supporting the idea that it ever even happened is from Mystique and Destiny – two of Marvel’s most notorious liars – and you got yourself an extremely messy and rather dubious retcon.
Putting all that aside, going based on what the retcon has established there are a few ways in which Kurt might have inherited some sort of magical power.
Primarily, Kurt is still technically related to Azazel – yes, Mystique “mimicked” Azazel’s DNA in Kurt’s conception but given that in genetics it is the sequence of DNA that matters and not the source of that sequence, Mystique’s “Mimicked” DNA is still ostensibly Azazel’s DNA. Azazel is an established master of dark magic – specifically soul magic – and used to rule over a legit Hell Dimension during the time of Kurt’s birth – making him a legit hell lord similar to Mephisto or Dormammu. Given that Hell Lords are also considered the Sorcerer Supremes (as in the strongest) of their respective dimension, this would suggest that Azazel once held some major power, regardless of if he’s a demon or not. And as it has been established, magic is inheritable as shown with Clea (the daughter of Umar), Daimon Hellstrom (son of Marduk Kurios), and at least half the cast of Strange Academy, it would stand to reason that Nightcrawler could also inherit magical power from him.
Now, I know what you are saying – “But, Azazel isn’t a demon! Chuck Austen said so!” And while, yes, Chuck Austen has clearly gone on record to say that Azazel is only a demonic looking mutant instead of an actual demon, it’s been kind of invalidated by the thing that every other writer for Azazel – including the likes of Chris Claremont – have referred to Azazel as a demon at least once either on-panel or in interviews. And frankly, there’s nothing in the lore that says that Azazel cannot be both a demon and a mutant – after all, Magik is both a demon and a mutant at the same time. And let’s be real here, Chuck Austen doesn’t deserve nice things when it comes to the X-Men.
However, Azazel is not the only DNA that Mystique apparently mimicked – Baron Christian Wagner was also added onto that list for some reason. This is odd as why would Destiny and Mystique feel the need to include Baron Wagner at all in the genetic makeup of Nightcrawler unless there was something special about the Baron. However, the only uniquely genetic thing we learn about him is that he’s seemingly infertile – which may suggest that there is some sort of genetic anomaly going on with him, such as maybe a repressed X-gene.
~Part 5 – Amanda Sefton/Jimaine Szardos history in Marvel Comics~
Another aspect of this theory is that – if it is true – it suddenly explains a lot of what Kurt’s ex, Amanda Sefton has been doing in comics since she was first introduced in 1976. You see, Amanda Sefton followed Kurt back from Germany and began dating him under a different name – which Kurt was not aware of. She only reveals the truth after the events of Uncanny X-Men Annual #4. This unfortunately supports Kurt’s accusation in Uncanny X-Men #206 that Amanda used a spell to make Kurt fall in love with her to begin with – an accusation which Amanda has never confirmed nor denied.
Amanda’s peculiar behavior continued into Excalibur where she was manipulated by Margali into obtaining Illyana’s Soul-Sword from Kitty Pryde – who had previously given the Soul-Sword to Dr. Doom and then Darkoth, with it returning to her both times. Upon obtaining the Soul-Sword, Margali then used it to go on a killing spree against the other members of the Winding Way to obtain their power for herself. Following this, Margali’s failed attempt to steal the power of a demon beneath London, and Kurt and Margali rescuing Amanda from Belasco after Margali body-swapped with her daughter to save her own skin – Amanda ended up taking over Limbo, supposedly in the name of protecting earth.
However, then we have the smoking gun of Amanda’s meddling – during the 3^rd Nightcrawler solo series, it is revealed that Amanda fused the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler without telling him. Her reason for doing so? “To protect the Soul-Sword from falling into the wrong hands.” This lie is so glaringly bad that not even Nightcrawler buys it and he calls Amanda out for not being honest with him.
~Part 6 – Amanda’s Bad Lie and What it Means~
And frankly why would anyone believe Amanda’s claim? Amanda is a sorceress – which means that she is infinitely more qualified than Nightcrawler to keep the Soul-Sword safe than he is. Even if she couldn’t do so, why didn’t she take the Soul-Sword to someone like Dr. Strange?
On top of that, Amanda took the Soul-Sword away from Kitty Pryde claiming that Kitty wasn’t qualified to keep the Soul-Sword safe due to her not being a trained sorceress. Well, guess who’s also not trained in sorcery and thus – by Amanda’s own logic - would not be able to keep the Soul-Sword safe? Nightcrawler.
Except, Kitty technically was able to keep the Soul-Sword out of the wrong hands – back during Excalibur #37 she phased the Soul-Sword into a rock which even Rachel Summers channeling the power of the Phoenix Force was not able to remove it from – it wasn’t removed until Doom came knocking and got Kitty to willingly remove it for him. So why couldn’t Amanda do something similar? Why fuse it with Kurt and endanger him?
And to top it all off, Amanda still needed the Soul-Sword. She was ruling over Limbo – a dangerous hell dimension full of power-hungry demons. Her magical powers are of the Winding Way – meaning that they wax and wane. So quite literally, Amanda needs the Soul-Sword – a weapon which every demon in Limbo fears – to keep herself in power; something which was proven in New X-Men #37 when Belasco walked back into Limbo and ousted her.
~Part 7 – Amanda took over Limbo to learn about the Soul-Sword~
So, what was Amanda really up to? Well, to understand Amanda’s actions in the 3^rd Nightcrawler series, we first need to go back to Amanda’s actions in previous series. What’s interesting is that Amanda’s interest in the Soul-Sword was first manifest through Margali – who reveals in Excalibur: Minus One that there is a prophecy that the Soul-Sword would pass first into Margali’s hands and then into Amanda’s hands but would result in both of their dooms.
However, Amanda doesn’t really demonstrate any sort of interest in the Soul-Sword until after Margali used it to obtain power in the Winding Way during Excalibur. While she didn’t get the opportunity to act after the events of Margali’s failed London project due to her mother mind-swapping with her, Amanda’s actions in taking over Limbo after X-Men: Unlimited #19 was more likely due to Amanda wanting to obtain and learn more about the Soul-Sword than about her trying to protect earth.
You see, as Limbo was in no position to even threaten earth until Belasco had obtained the Soul-Sword following Margali ending up there – meaning that if Amanda had simply obtained the Soul-Sword and left Limbo, Limbo would not have been able to endanger Earth. Instead, Amanda stayed. Why? Because if there was anywhere in the universe where you wanted to learn about a Soul-Sword and how it works, Limbo is the dimension to do so.
~Part 8 – Nightcrawler and Magik are… Soulmates?~
So, why did Amanda fuse the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler? Well, ultimately because a major function of the Soul-Sword is that it can be used as a countercharm which can undo other spells – potentially meaning that Amanda could use it to undo the Winding Way and restore the two halves of Kurt’s soul back together again.
However, another aspect of the Soul-Sword is that it is dangerous to magical creatures and Kurt’s magical soul would already be weakened after years of being separated. Amanda must have figured that if she bonded the non-magical half of Kurt’s soul to the Soul-Sword would allow for her to bypass the more dangerous aspects of the Soul-Sword and allow her to restore Kurt.
And as a result of Amanda’s meddling, when a demonically possessed Pixie ripped the Soul-Sword out of Nightcrawler during X-Infernus, it left behind a void in Kurt’s Soul as established in Legion of X #10, which allowed for the Hopesword to later form. This also seemingly gave Illyana’s Soul-Sword a new ability to damage Techno-Organic beings which it did not possess before. This also means that Nightcrawler and Magik are… soul-mates(?) for the lack of a better term, as they are both bound together through the Soul-Sword after Amanda undid Illyana’s bond with Kitty, though this fact has never been established or confirmed in the comics.
~Part 9 – Destiny caused Magik to be kidnapped by Belasco~
Now, I noted in an earlier section that Margali’s fascination with the Soul-Sword was as a result of a prophecy – one that has at least partially come true. The prophecy as laid out during a flashback in Exalibur: Minus One was that the Soul-Sword would pass from into Margali’s hands and then Amanda’s but would result in both of their dooms. Illyana’s Soul-Sword was indeed obtained by Margali back in Excalibur #85 before she lost it to Belasco after falling to Limbo and the Soul-Sword was obtained again by Amanda after taking Limbo over in X-Men: Unlimited #19.
Now, this whole situation is peculiar as Margali herself is not a precog – outside of this one time, we never even hear her do anything similar ever again. However, we know that Destiny is a precog and we also know that she was the one who gave Kurt to Margali, as per the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon, meaning that this prophecy more than likely originates with Destiny. And really, this shouldn’t be a surprise – Mystique hinted at having some sort of a connection with Margali as far back as UXM #142 when she first met Nightcrawler, it was just never clarified what that connection was.
However, this prophecy would have been given to Margali before the Soul-Sword was ever made and before Illyana was even born, which means that either Destiny could predict Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco and creating the Soul-Sword as a result… or she caused Belasco to kidnap Illyana and create the Soul-Sword as a result.
Now, you may question how that’s even possible? After all, how could Destiny cause someone like Belasco to do something when the two haven’t even canonically met?
Well, for this, I would like to point out the unexplained animosity going on between Margali Szardos and Belasco. This is a rivalry that has been mentioned quite a few times – such as back in Excalibur: Minus One, X-Men: Unlimited #19, and the 3^rd Nightcrawler series. For some unexplained reason, Margali Szardos and Belasco have a lot of enmity for one another.
So, what’s the cause of this rivalry? Well, during the Dark Web event, Mary Jane Watson and Black Cat were captured by Belasco and sent to retrieve his Soul-Sword – which, as it is explained in the story is something that Belasco could not potentially use up until the events of Dark Web.
So here’s an idea – what if Destiny didn’t specify which Soul-Sword would end up in Margali’s hands, causing Margali to immediately assume that she was talking about Belasco’s (as that would have been the only one in existence at that point) and try to steal it from him.
This then drew Belasco’s attention and caused him to realize that Nightcrawler was somehow the source of Margali’s powers. This would be why Belasco even had his eyes on the X-Men to begin with and why there was a soulless Nightcrawler back in the original Magik series – Kurt was Belasco’s original target. However, the soulless Nightcrawler and Belasco’s obvious shift in attention to Illyana clearly points to the idea that whatever experiments Belasco tried to use to obtain that magical power from Kurt, it only ended in disaster – causing him to turn to Illyana as a replacement.
~Part 10 – the Big Picture… stopping Enigma~
So, if Destiny was ultimately the cause behind all of this – from orchestrating Kurt’s birth, to handing him off to Margali, to telling Margali the prophecy about the Soul-Sword, what is it all ultimately for?
Well, what it is almost certainly not for is the given answer of defeating Azazel. Simply put, Azazel has never been so major of a threat that creating a super special prophecy child was needed. Heck, he was killed in Dark X-Men by the demonic version of Nightcrawler, so how difficult would it have been for Mystique and Destiny to do it? No, Azazel’s defeat was a bonus that Irene used to justify Kurt’s birth to Raven, not the focus.
Ultimately, there’s only one answer as to who Kurt was conceived to stop – Enigma. The original Nathaniel Essex who transcended space and time and who Irene knew to be an existential threat to all Mutantkind.
This answer even explains some of Irene’s other past actions, such as why she was involved with the Black Womb project – yes, she was keeping an eye on Sinister, but she was also learning as much about the mutant x-gene in preparation for Kurt’s birth.
It also explains why she handed Kurt over to Margali at all – the Winding Way is described in the datapages of Legion of X as being something akin to a No-Place – something that Enigma and other Dominions famously have trouble seeing into. Thus, by hiding Kurt’s magical half in the No-place until the time was right and creating the means by which to release him from that prison, Destiny ensures Enigma’s defeat.
Or does she? Because as far as the current X-Men comics have been going, there is nowhere near the development needed to have my theory take place. At this point, only the Hopesword is established which begs the question of whether the Winding Way is meant to be the thing to stop Enigma or if the Hopesword is. As of this point in X-Men Forever (2024) #4, the Hopesword is what was needed to stop Enigma… for some reason. So far, all that the sword has accomplished is being handed off from Kurt to Exodus to Hope… who was then killed by the Phoenix and sent the Hopesword back to Kurt. We’ll have to wait and see if anything else comes of it.
Personally though, I kind of like the idea that everything Destiny did in orchestrating the creation of the Hopesword and/or the Winding Way was kind of a pointless thing in the end. It’s kind of poignant for Destiny’s character – being the same woman who thought that killing Senator Kelly would prevent the Days of Future’s Past Timeline when she was in fact going to cause that very timeline to happen – to have all her manipulations and schemes to create this weapon against the existential threat that Enigma presented… only to have that threat be dealt with in some other way, leaving Irene to deal with the consequences of her own actions and question whether it was worth putting Kurt through all of that. Maybe that’s just me though.
Conclusion
So yeah, that’s most of the evidence supporting this theory. There are a few other things – such as Margali potentially being the reason why Kurt was killed during Second Coming and potentially causing his mental break down during the Extraordinary X-Men story, but those are more auxiliary to these major points.
But yeah, let me know what you guys think down below. Do you think this theory is onto something or is it way off base?

Hi everyone,
I wanted to share with you my response to the introduction found in the only edition of Use of the Self currently in print. I believe it's a rather misleading intro to FM Alexander's work, so I'm sharing this in the hope that I can help clear up misconceptions people may have about the Alexander Technique, not derived only from Anthony Kingsley, but many bland blog posts one tends to encounter when researching the Alexander Technique. That said, this is not intended to be an introduction of its own, but rather something experienced students, teachers, and anyone enthusiastically learning the Technique may find useful. In the tradition of Alexander himself, I've included extensive footnotes, some painfully long. I'm happy to answer any questions or otherwise discuss what I've written. Understand these are my own interpretations and opinions about what some call "the work," so take them as you will. I've taken lessons for a number of years and currently am training as a teacher, so my view of the Technique is based on these experiences, as well as my interpretations of Alexander's writings. Some of these interpretations you may object to, but I hope you find my arguments reasonable.
Response to Anthony Kingsley's Introduction to The Use of the Self
The Use of the Self may be FM Alexander's most important work, since it contains his own account of how he developed what is now called the Alexander Technique. While Alexander's other volumes are available from Mouritz, the only edition of The Use of the Self currently in print is published by Orion Spring. This edition replaces the philosopher John Dewey's introduction—which praises the technique's "genuinely scientific character"—with one by the contemporary teacher Anthony Kingsley, who is heralded on the book's front cover as a "leading Alexander Technique teacher." Therefore it is probable that many readers' first impressions of the Alexander Technique will be framed by Mr. Kingsley's opinions. I submit this is problematic, since his introduction is in my view contradictory to fundamental principles of the Alexander Technique. I write this response to address the introduction's two most dire faults: Kingsley's misrepresentation of the concepts inhibition and direction, and his dismissal of the concept of the primary control. I'll begin with the second, since it is a more straightforward error.
Primary Control
Kingsley opens his paragraphs on the primary control with the opinion that the concept should be "recast," then describes Alexander's definition of the primary control as a "particular relationship of his head, neck and back [that] acted as a master reflex that conditioned his whole organism." Then he discards this definition, claiming the head-neck-back relativity should instead be "regarded as an indicator[sic] of overall health rather than an area considered in isolation." He concedes the "region of the neck and back is a [...] barometer of our state of being," but concludes that "no single element is actually primary," since our eyes, breath, digestive system, and all other psychophysical elements are "simultaneous and interdependent" and also like barometers. Finally, he reveals his "recast" of the primary control, defining it as "the unknown and unseen self-righting and self-healing mechanism that can be restored and vitalized."
In sum, Mr. Kingsley has presented the primary control—which Alexander wrote extensively about and considered central to his technique—with an ill-defined mystical force which, accordingly, Alexander must have unwittingly stumbled upon and mistaken for a certain relativity of the head, neck and back.
Ironically, it is in The Use of the Self where Alexander wrote of discovering the necessity to first free his neck in seeking a better condition for his vocal apparatus, since that was the sine qua non of taking his head forward and up, of widening the back, and so forth, which are in turn the necessary conditions of freedom and stability in the limbs. This is the genesis of Alexander's use of the word "primary" in describing the head-neck-back relationship, and in my experience, as in Alexander's, it holds true: the sequence of directions given to oneself matters greatly, since tense feet, for example, can hardly flatten on the floor if the head is taken back and down, whereas the head can be taken "forward and up"1 to a fine degree even if there is tension in the lower extremities, particularly while sitting. Further, and maybe most significantly, the relativity of the head-neck-back rarely need change during any manner of activity, whereas the arms and legs are constantly bending, rising, stretching, and so on. Small wonder Alexander considered this relativity primary.
Of course, Kingsley is not wrong to point out the interdependence of all processes in the body. It is certainly true that undue tension in the feet creates a downward pull on the head, neck and back. Yet what is crucial to understand here is that in the context of learning and teaching the Alexander Technique, the primary control is an indispensable concept. It instructs the pupil to guide his or her attention through the body in the sequence most fit to facilitate proper relativity of all the parts, and it names succinctly that natural, visible, dynamic yet enduring relativity of the head, neck and back observable in little children and animals as well as many great musicians and athletes. Thus Kingsley discards a practical concept in favor of a truism about "interdependence;" and so we come to his second, graver error.
Direction
Here it begins to seem that what Kingsley writes of in his introduction is not the Alexander Technique at all, but in fact the Kingsley Technique, since he has redefined not only the primary control, but two other conceptual pillars of the technique: inhibition and direction.
First, he takes aim at direction, neglecting to elucidate Alexander's own definition of the concept before setting out the axiom that "aiming for postural improvements using postural directions leads to a bodymind[sic] attitude of effort and trying, which simply reinforces the problem." Dismissing as superfluous all "ideas and images about heads, necks and backs," he declares that "the trying[sic] self is the obstacle, and the shift towards a non-trying[sic] self is the solution." Finally, he offers his own definition of the directions as "the natural flow of energy and vibrancy that exists within the organism," directions which are interfered with "when we are in a condition of stress and reactivity."
Here, again, Kingsley takes a practical concept which Alexander developed based on careful observation of his own muscular action, and replaces it with a kind of mystical or spiritual phenomenon which, implicitly, only the initiated can perceive.2 Thus the famous directions are not, as Alexander described repeatedly, a series of mental orders or intentions projected to oneself before and during muscular activity along lines one has reasoned out in advance, but a "natural flow of energy and vibrancy"—just as the primary control is not, as Alexander saw it, a concrete, observable relativity of the head, neck and back, but an "unknown and unseen self-righting and self-healing mechanism." These pseudo-spiritual definitions do a massive disservice to neophyte readers, and reveal Kingsley's muddled seeing in relation to the central problem addressed by the Alexander Technique: how to shed habit and coordinate the bodymind through reasoned conception and conscious awareness.
But for a moment let us leave aside direction, since a subtler and more misleading error still lurks in Kingsley's presentation: his dismissal of conception itself. He explicitly warns that "ideas, concepts and cognitive efforts reinforce the very mental instrument that is the problem in the first place," he advises us to simply trust that "the prevention or inhibition[sic] of reaction, maintains or liberates this stream of energy [or direction] in the body."
To understand Kingsley's error, we must return to Alexander. In Man's Supreme Inheritance, Alexander sets out four stages to the "performance of any muscular action by conscious guidance and control:"

1. The conception of the movement required;
2. The inhibition of erroneous preconceived ideas which subconsciously suggest the manner in which the movement or series of movements should be performed;
3. The new and conscious mental orders which will set in motion the muscular mechanism essential to the correct performance of the action;
4. The movements (contractions and expansions) of the muscles which carry out the mental orders.

Alexander considered "conception of the movement required" the very first stage in his technique, to precede even inhibition. Thus he made clear, if indirectly, that in the context of his technique, clear conception is essential to achieving a desired end. Incidentally, this is a fact any competent artist can attest to; if a composition is not unambiguously understood and organized within one's memory, it cannot be brought to fruition. Even the most simple act, such as extending one's arm to grasp a nearby object, requires a detailed conception of distance, weight, strength, and so forth; if the object turns out to be heavier than expected, the conception of these variables and their relation to one another, and hence the muscular action, must change. This is direction in action, albeit subconscious.
Yet Kingsley belittles conception, instead leaning on concepts like "ease," "letting go" "acceptance," and the like. He is not alone in this among teachers, but in my opinion, they overlook the influence of what Alexander termed "erroneous beliefs," a concept closely related to that of "unreliable sensory appreciation." Both could be read in the spiritual lexicon alongside "letting go," etc.; but that would place their referent outside the realm of what words and concepts can describe. On the contrary, Alexander was pointing to something concrete and empirically observable: to errors of spatio-motor perception able to be observed phenomenologically and in other people's behavior; not to transcendent truths about observation itself. Thus the classic example of an Alexandrian "erroneous belief" is a person who raises their arm and believes their shoulder has remained still when it has not. The key for the pupil in this instance is to gain an accurate conception5 of their own muscular action, in reference to bodily sensations; not to simply "let go" or "do nothing."3 And this conception must come about through active tutelage—e.g. Alexander Technique lessons—or, dare I say, the way Alexander himself did it: by reasoned experimentation, conceiving hypotheses based on careful register and analysis of his own sensations, and also by watching the behavior of others. John Dewey called the technique scientific for a reason.
All of this is not to understate the importance of concepts like "release" and "effortlessness," including in the context of the Alexander Technique. Seeing more or less what is meant by them is doubtless the key to mastery of all activities, all practices, all techniques. Yet those spiritual concepts should not blot out the very concrete technique Alexander developed for improving what he called "the use of the self:" that coordination of the muscular system, achieved through conscious reason, which influences for better or worse the functioning of the whole organism.4
Inhibition
So much for direction. What about inhibition? Under the heading "Inhibition and Non-Doing," Kingsley describes Alexander's understanding of inhibition as "an artificial pause between stimulus and reaction," after which he could "give directions to himself." Then he lays down the gauntlet, stating that in the "real world […] life does not offer us the choice to inhibit:" since according to neuroscience research, "neural reactions take milliseconds and are faster than conscious thought processes." In other words, "we either react to the stimulus, or not." So, with inhibition proven impossible, Kingsley is left with no choice but to "reformulate" another of Alexander's concepts, offering us a supposedly scientifically enlightened6 view that inhibition is really "a quality of non-doing[sic] that needs to be already available in the organism before the receipt of a stimulus." This is "a way of being[sic] rather than a way of doing[sic]."
This Kingsleyan inhibition turns out to be the essence of the technique, since it is this very "condition of non-doing[sic]" the teacher is supposed to transmit, through a touch Kingsley describes as "a dance of poetry and a symphony of silence." With it, the teacher imparts a "deep sense of acceptance" by which "change emerges in the pupil."7 He goes on to compare the Alexander Technique to "Zen Buddhism, mindfulness and the philosophy of non-duality," identifying the uniqueness of the Alexander Technique in "the transmission of immediate experience." In fact, there is no Alexander Technique as such, but only inhibition:
The Chinese Tao has a concept of Wu Wei[sic], which translates as surrendering to the effortless flow of life[sic], or non-doing[sic] action. Ultimately, the Alexander Technique needs to reinvent itself and relinquish the Technique. The Alexander Teacher really teaches nothing[sic!]. But this nothing or emptiness is in fact the deepest essence of being and the fullness of life. Like grace, it drops onto us and into us when the conditions are ripe.
The problem is that Alexander's own writings indicate that inhibition is not a "quality," a "condition," or a "surrendering to the effortless flow of life." On the contrary, according to Universal Constant in Living, it is "the act of refusing to respond to the primary desire to gain an end, [which] becomes the act of responding (volitionary act) to the conscious reasoned desire to employ the means whereby that end may be gained." As clear as day: inhibition is an action in response to the stimulus of conscious desire: a conscious, continuing refusal to do a thing the way one normally does it. Alexander saw that this inhibitory act had to precede in every instance any attempt to change his habits. Everyone is well familiar with the inhibitory act. The act of not indulging an immediate desire, however small, is it. So, inhibition is not an "artificial pause," but a phenomenologically observable process within the organism, a process that can be made habitual through practice. It is no more abstract and transcendent than blinking or moving one's finger.7
Here Kingsley again takes something ordinary and concrete and makes it mystical, going so far as to "relinquish the Technique." The trouble is that there is a good reason the Alexander Technique came to be known as such. A technique is a skillful way of doing something; a mental tool; a procedure. Ways of doing can be found everywhere: techniques for dance, for romance, for healing, even for attaining nirvana or enlightenment. Each has a goal in mind and is based on what worked in the past; each resorts to concepts to explain itself; each prescribes action, or doing something a certain way. Yet Kingsley dismisses the idea of doing anything at all. Equating the Alexander Technique with "nothing," he tosses out the concepts Alexander spent decades refining, when Alexander's genius was precisely to conceive a useful, coherent way of doing things through patient observation of the phenomena he termed inhibition, direction, primary control, and the rest.
So, the technique may encompass all the acts of living, but it is still a technique. Alexander often used the term "procedure" to describe it, and I think procedure is as apt a word as any to describe the application of his technique to the acts of living. He constantly stressed the technique's sequential, stepwise nature and recorded countless practical examples of it in action, both in hypotheticals and accounts of lessons. The technique is not a metaphysics or a philosophy like non-duality; it is a practical procedure with a clear purpose: restoring
advantageous, natural relativity of the head, neck and back.
Conclusion
The technique is blindingly simple but surprisingly subtle and difficult to master; and, as far as I am aware, it is unique. Unfortunately, Kingsley is not alone in overlooking the uniqueness and subtleties of the technique in favor of spiritual truisms and platitudes. I suspect there are two main reasons for this.
The first is the tendency of serious pupils of the technique to become more open to "spirituality," both philosophically (e.g. non-duality) and in terms of sadhana (e.g. meditation, yoga, self-inquiry). Many are enthusiastic about the similarities between the Alexander Technique and, for example, mindfulness practice. It is certainly true that the technique requires the pupil to have some degree of "mindfulness," or the ability to realize when the mind has wandered; and it is also true that a few people who devote themselves to the technique come upon some of the same insights one might find in spiritual practice. Yet spiritual insight is not the purpose of the technique. In my opinion, the Alexander Technique is a relative of energy practices such as Hatha yoga, qigong, and TRE (trauma release exercises). Such techniques are often used in tandem with spiritual practices meant for the cultivation of insight, but their purpose has traditionally been preparatory and salutary, not "spiritual." One need not stray too esoteric to encounter the idea that the real goal of spirituality has nothing to do with "ways of doing." On the other hand, Qigong explicitly aims to regulate qi in the body; kundalini yoga is concerned with the flow of prana; the Alexander Technique seeks to restore the good use of the primary control. More practically, the technique teaches mental discipline, and ultimately the ability of the nervous system to regulate itself. Such a practice may lay the groundwork for spiritual realization, but it is by no means indistinguishable from it.
While there is no point speculating about Alexander's private insights, one thing can be certain: he left us a definite procedure with a practical, concrete purpose—not a transcendental one. Yet Kingsley's introduction continually implies the Alexander Technique is an essentially spiritual practice with heavenly fruit. Disparaging the core concepts that constitute the Alexander Technique, he invites us instead to simply "surrender," "let go in faith," and blindly trust that its real essence—nothing less than Wu Wei—will be transmitted through the "rare, "unconditional" touch of the teacher.
The second, more obvious reason Alexander has been so misunderstood is that he rarely wrote concisely, and in any case, recognition and conception of the primary control can never be refined through words, but only through unfamiliar sensory experiences—either reasoned out, as Alexander did, or in the hands of a good teacher. Hence there is more than a kernel of truth to Kingsley's view of the "supreme value of guidance with the hands;" yet I differ from him in that I insist the Alexander Technique cannot be divorced from intellectual understanding and, indeed, conception.
The Use of the Self and Alexander's other works certainly were not without their flaws, but at their best they illuminate concepts which are nuanced, rich, and useful when applied. Primary control, direction and inhibition are three such concepts. Whatever their flaws, Alexander's books point the way to a wonderful technique, and they deserve thoughtful, probing introductions like Dewey's—not dismissals.
1 Like many other Alexandrian terms, the concrete meaning of "forward and up" seems incredibly controversial among Alexander Technique teachers. While I conceive it roughly as freedom of the atlanto-occipital joint, the term cannot be understood in isolation from the rest of the parts—namely, from one's conception of the primary control. It seems to experience it, one must discover it, as Alexander did, or be shown it by a teacher.
2 This is not to say there are not phenomena only some people perceive.
3An overemphasis on "letting go" and the like obscures the fact that Alexander always described the technique as consisting of stages or sequential steps, which in my opinion constitute the "means whereby" he wrote of.
4 "Use of the self" is another problematic term. Related to the concept of "good form" and "good technique" among athletes and musicians, it refers essentially to coordination of the musculature along reasoned lines, which is not separate from conception of the primary control. Equal and opposite is the term "misuse," since one's idea of misuse depends on one's idea of good use. Different teachers understand the term differently. Kingsley states that "bodily tensions and distortions become fixed and reinforced as we react to the general stimuli of living." True enough. Yet he goes on to imply it is associated only with fear, anxiety and distress. Again he couples this concept to the language of contemporary spirituality, trumpeting that it "alienates us from our own true nature." This is to completely ignore the point Alexander returned to again and again in his own writing: that the use of the self is inextricably linked with conception. No doubt, tension and imbalance are very often inextricable from fear. But there may be another class of misuse: one based on misconceptions about the body, unexamined movement patterns from childhood which have little or nothing to do with manifestations of stress or emotions in the body. I suspect one may experience profound psychophysical quietude yet still tend to throw their head back and down in relation to their neck and back, especially in movement.
5Kingsley writes that the teacher's touch indicates the "negation of trying and doing within the pupil." Even a token mention of guidance viz. the relativity of the body parts is nowhere to be found. Yet in my opinion this discussion of touch is misleading, since nothing like it can be found at all in Alexander's writings. On the contrary, Alexander stressed that the teacher's role was to demonstrate manually the proper relativity of the pupil's parts, with the means whereby of the technique; not to transmit "a way of being," nor indeed enlightenment or gnosis.
6 Neuroscientific findings relating to will and volition have proliferated in recent years. They may raise fundamental questions about the nature of self and will, but in my opinion they have little to do with the Alexander Technique, no more than they do with dancing or playing an instrument. If there are really recognizable activities Alexander termed "inhibition" and "direction," then his writings are timeless, since they speak from direct observation and experiment, not philosophy about "free will" and the like.
7 In spiritual literature one encounters, almost universally, the idea that there is no "doer" of action, or no "doer" but God. Hence Kingsley is implying that Alexandrian inhibition is somehow related to this concept, which Buddha famously summarized: "Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no doer thereof." In my opinion, the Alexander Technique has nothing more to do with this than does reading, writing, or playing a game. There may be "procedures followed, but no follower thereof."

After undergoing IVF due to MFI, my partner and I were waiting for an embryo transfer in the next two weeks. Amazingly, I just found out we conceived naturally! I'm 5 weeks along, and we had been trying for 2 years, so this feels surreal. I hadn’t gotten my period and felt a bit off, so I took a test and got a surprise positive!
We're hoping this pregnancy sticks, as it's my first and I have no underlying health conditions, but I'm aware there's still a risk of miscarriage at this stage. Please send all the baby dust our way!!!
But the reason for my post (aside from wanting to share this great news) is that I’d love to hear from others about things they wished they knew before getting pregnant for the first time. Any tips, advice, or words of wisdom?! TIA!

SCREENRANT:
"The pivotal moment in "The Jem'Hadar" highlighted the unique insights and challenges Quark and the Ferengi offer.
[...]
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's season 2 finale, "The Jem'Hadar" was a landmark episode that established the existential threat posed to the Federation by the Dominion. However, as well as laying the groundwork for DS9's Dominion War, "The Jem'Hadar" also represented a pivotal moment for how the Ferengi were seen in Star Trek. Introduced as villains in Star Trek: The Next Generation season 1, the Ferengi failed to take off as potential Klingon replacements. After two seasons of DS9, the perception of the Ferengi as "failed villains" was shifting, and the season 2 finale put a line under it forever.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's writer and producer Ira Steven Behr, who wrote "The Jem'Hadar" was keen that these scenes should draw a line under the idea that the Ferengi are failed Star Trek villains. Discussing DS9 season 2, episode 26 in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion, Behr said:

... it was time to lay to rest this long-time feeling that the Ferengi were the 'failed villains' of the Star Trek universe. I wanted people to see them as something else. And if we could show that Sisko, whose character has a lot of weight, would take what Quark says seriously, then the audience would take it seriously.

Crucially, at the end of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine season 2, episode 26, "The Jem'Hadar", it's Quark, not Sisko or any of the Starfleet characters, who reveals the Vorta's deception. Most importantly, the audience sees Sisko acknowledge that Quark has something important to say, where just minutes earlier they saw him dismiss the Ferengi's interjections. This proved once and for all that the Ferengi weren't Star Trek villains, they were just a species with a different outlook from the Federation, and could therefore offer valuable insight.
Quark accuses Sisko and the Federation of being hypocrites, stating that they only practice tolerance and understanding toward cultures that remind them of their own, and he has a point. In Star Trek, any planets not in the Federation's club are seen as either villains or primitives. Quark and the Ferengi aren't so easily categorized as either, which critiques the binary nature of Starfleet's moral superiority. Brilliantly, Sisko doesn't give Quark any excuses or try to turn the tables on the Ferengi, he tries to deflect because he's uncomfortable, and then accepts that he's wrong. [...]
Quark's assessment that the Federation are distrustful of the Ferengi because their culture is a reminder of the capitalist excess that they finally abandoned is an astute one. Gene Roddenberry conceived the Ferengi as a critique of the "greed is good" ethos of 1980s Wall Street. Quark in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine perfectly embodies that original concept, but he and his Ferengi family also learn from their relationships with Starfeleet and the Federation. And in return, Starfleet and the Federation benefit from the insight and sheer heroism of Quark, Nog, and Rom, a lasting example of Roddenberry's "infinite diversity in infinite combinations"."
Mark Donaldson (ScreenRant)
Link:
https://screenrant.com/star-trek-ds9-sisko-quark-fight-ferengi-turning-point/

So for context I (25M) have been married to my wife (22M) for a couple of years now. One of her family members we'll call Abby (32F) And her boyfriend Justin (34M) Have 5 kids, 3 of them together and the other 2 were from before they met. All the kids will go unnamed except for one, which will have a made up name as well for his sake. The kids are 14F, 11M (Who we will call Dylan), 8F, 6F, 2M.
So the story is best told from when I met her, I met my wife and fell in love with her long ago, we have been together for nearly 6 years now and have children of our own. I met her aunt when meeting the family one time and from the start I thought her aunt was intimidating, a larger than usual woman that's oddly built much like a man. Well most mothers are often looked at as nurturing and caring, she is not. She is strict, ruthless, and rules with an iron fish, which my wife said she has always been this way. One she is especially hard on who is Dylan, well he is a kind little boy, very sweet, active and adventurous. Even not knowing me he has always been outgoing and kind. He has pretty severe ADHD though. Her aunt has always been a bit more strict on him because he's a boy I suppose. She has even gone as far as to slap him, be really rough with him, call him stupid and some other things like that.
Her boyfriend Justin has not been kind to him at all either. See Dylans father left shortly after he was conceived. So the only father figure he has ever had has been Justin. He has done many of the same actions, compiling to that he has also told Dylan more than once that he is not his child, and is really quite hard on all of the kids, so he's not as biased but twice as ruthless. The only reason he can't be mean to the oldest is she has her own dad who is still present in her life and spends the summers there.
The two parents fight a lot. They both have some domestic dispute cases from like things being said, leading into physical altercations. Meaning the police come out. Charge both with domestic violence and usually take one to jail, the peak of this being one time when Justin told Abby while she was pregnant "Slit your wrists and unalive yourself you worthless b***h" leading to an altercation which resulted in Justin being hospitalized and Abby being arrested and put on Parole. The kids stayed with grandma during that.
This all came to a head about 3 days ago when Justin was home with the kids alone. According to him Dylan was grounded, so when the kids went to play outside, he had to stay inside. We'll Justin stepped out because there was a contractor there he had to talk to. Leaving Dylan in the house alone. Once he was done talking to the contractor Justin went back into the house and called out for Dylan. Which there was no reply, so he looked all over the house. The last room he checked was the oldest sisters room. Where he had found Dylan had attempted to unalive himself. After he had gotten him down he did not attempt CPR or anything of that nature. He called Abby and she rushed home. Soon after paramedics were on scene. They were eventually able to revive Dylan and airlift him to a major hospital. All the while he was on a machine that breathes for him.
That night my family voiced to her again how wrong both of Dylans parent figures had been to him and to which she agreed. The mother in my wife is bothered by the whole thing which I can understand. As the whole situation bothers me too.
Where I've finally reached my breaking point was last night. Me and my Wife spent some time with my family which we don't do often. We'll she kept checking on the situation with Dylan. Including one time where my Wife ended up being Dylan in his current state, on life support and completely unresponsive. Which I disliked but with how Abbys emotions have been all over the place, I can understand feeling some remorse and wanting to be around family as best as we can be.
Well after we went out and were out until late hours, upon arriving home. She mentioned that her aunt had posted an update (being a video about Dylans current condition) I got curious and looked into it, and it ended up being 5 WHOLE HOURS of video after video. Update after update, sobbing through only short portions. Well I voiced to my wife that I understand being sad about the situation and that he's almost guaranteed to not make it. However I think Abby has been on her phone far too much for someone who was going through something like that and revealing far too much. Its like she hasn't been off her phone as long as she's been awake, that's what bothers me.
Well we got into a heated spat about it and she posed that it's important to update friends and family about it. While I gave push back that who should care about them when you could be spending time with your loved one who is in need more than he has ever been. I talked with my family about the spat and they agree with me.
AITA for hating how much Abby has been using her phone during this time?

Negation is the first stage of self inquiry. Affirmation is the final stage.
Here is the knowledge that you need to complete the final stage and stop thinking about who or what you are so you can get on with happily living the life you have been given, your most valuable asset. Once the affirmation has removed the negation, you are completely satisfied because the dualistic state of mind that generates dissatisfaction is negated and you are neither satisfied or dissatisfied. You are as you are, which is always good in so far as just being is bliss. You can't argue that you don't exist.
You wouldn't be asking me if you were perfectly satisfied with yourself as you conceive of it, so the answer is to follow this train of thought, accept it, and gain perfect satisfaction. Vedanta's definition of enlightenment is tripti, which means perfect satisfaction with yourself as you conceive it at any moment and perfect satisfaction with the world as you conceive of it at any moment. You are qualified to ask that question because you know that the world and yourself are only thoughts in your mind over which you can exercise enough control to gain the satisfaction beyond the mind.
So the question is why aren't you satisfied? And the answer is because you think it is not up to you to be satisfied with the thought of yourself and the world, both of which have been given to you. You cannot say that you created either yourself or the world which reduces everything that exists to thoughts. The answer is because you don't accept the fact that both yourself and the world are created by something other than the dissatisfied self. So, knowledge of that factor is the key to freedom and non-dual love.
Vedanta says that everyone is only satisfied with a pleased self. So if you want to be satisfied with yourself, you need to accept what you have been given by the creator of all things, which you know reduces to thought itself. If you know that what you are dissatisfied with is not your doing, then what use is dissatisfaction? To say it another way, why do you take responsiblity for something for which you are not responsible? It doesn't make sense, when you can just as well be satisfied with what you have been given.
Vedanta calls this fact surrender to the creator (Ishwara). It was Ramana's definition too. Did God create the dissatisfied self? God didn't create it in the sense that the dissatisfied self is God because reality is non-dual. And God also didn't create it because God isn't a big person with likes and dislikes. That person is created by ignorance of God's ever-satisfied nature. If reality is non-dual, then God's nature and your nature are non-different. If reality is non-dual, then dissatisfaction is non-different from satisfaction in the sense that it is up to you to decide if you want to be satisfied or dissatisfied. Making this choice is an appropriate use of your free will.
If you choose not to make it, you do so because it pleases you to do so and if you choose to make it, you do so because it pleases you to do so, insofar as no one is putting a gun to your head and forcing a choice on you. This means that at every moment you unconditionally love yourself more than anything. If you think something is forcing you to make either choice it is because it pleases you to think that thought, which means that you are free to begin with. So when you understand that you are free to choose and that the choices (thoughts) that are available are limited, the only rational choice is to leave the whole question of choice to Isvara and do what feels best, which is to accept yourself and the world as they are. Choosing to get rid of the world feels good because you think the world is a cause of suffering but removing a particular thought as real is not the same as removing thought itself as real. Afterall, negation and affirmation are just thoughts.
As you say in the first sentence, "it all makes sense to me." You will make the choice to be satisfied with yourself as you are at any and all moments if you understand Vedanta's sensible logic. I am always satisfied because I accepted this knowledge (the unexamined logic of our experience is created by knowledge) after listening to this teaching for a couple of years. It's not that I had to wait a couple of years to see if the knowledge of reality worked. I was perfectly satisfied every time I accepted it, until the tendency to think otherwise born of 29 years of wordly thought produced a sense of dissatisfaction. At some point I realized that I didn't realize that dissatisfaction is a dismissable thought and at that point I stopped taking satisfaction and dissatisfaction seriously. Neither one is real because they depend on each other. Reality is what stands on its own. No support.
So, in a sense all you need to do is to monitor your mind for dissatisfaction, which dismisses it, leaving the mind satisfied. That much you can do for the mind. But what can you do for yourself?
Once I figured that out, then the world, meaning my mind stopped and everything fell silent. It never started again because the knowledge of reality was permanent. Permanent in this case, is not the opposite of impermanent. It is the Permanent that is neither permanent or impermanent. It is the bliss of being. It is the knowledge "I am" with no adjectives or adverbs clinging to it. It is Satisfaction beyond satisfaction and dissatisfaction. A good word is Isness. I am.
And when I realized this, there was no longer anyone or anything looking over my shoulder.
I shine and the world shines after me.
All the teachings of Vedanta prove that the knowledge of the self-shining I am is Perfect Satisfaction. Nobody can say that they don't exist so it is possible for qualified people to be perfectly satisfied.
This satsang is all a qualified person really needs. It is simple but every train of thought is packed with power. Go over it again and again until you see how all the parts are connected to each other and establish the irreplaceable vision of non-duality.
Love, James

At the time, we couldn’t conceive naturally, so we decided to adopt. The adoption person introduced us to Conrad and said he was taken away because of his parents gambling addiction. We thought we could keep him safe, but he eventually because addicted to hunting for red geodes. We would like to apologize to the public for the effects our sons addiction has had on the lives of many. We are going to try to send him to rehab, but last time when he came back he started his current habit of stopping after trying 4 times, only to begin trying again after a couple minutes. This is worse for him long term, so if anyone has any ideas to help my sweet Conrad quit, it would be appreciated.

Stress has turned into an all-too-normal friend in our lives in the present quick moving society. Our psychological and actual wellbeing can rapidly endure because of the types of occupations, connections, and regular commitments. Nonetheless, you may handily diminish pressure and improve your overall personal satisfaction by making a couple of little changes to your way of life. This post will walk you through a long number of strategies that can make living a more adjusted and tranquil presence conceivable.
Understanding Stress
Stress is the body’s natural response to a challenge or demand. It is a feeling of emotional or physical tension. Stress is defined as the body’s natural response to a challenge or demand. It is a feeling of emotional or physical tension that can be positive or negative.
Acute stress and chronic stress are two different forms of stress. A test or job interview are two examples of particular events that might induce acute stress, which is short-term stress. Long-term stress brought on by persistent issues, such as monetary hardships or interpersonal conflicts, is referred to as chronic stress.
1. Prioritize Self Care
Dealing with yourself ought to be your first concern. Put away opportunities every day for exercises that give you pleasure and unwinding. Whether it’s perusing a book, scrubbing down, or rehearsing care reflection, find what turns out best for yourself and make it a non-debatable piece of your everyday practice.
2. Keep a Solid Eating regimen
An even eating regimen assumes a critical part in overseeing pressure. Stay away from extreme utilization of caffeine and sugar, as they can add to sensations of uneasiness and anxiety. All things being equal, center around integrating entire food sources like organic products, vegetables, lean proteins, and complex starches into your dinners. These supplement-rich choices will furnish your body with the fuel it necessities to work ideally and battle pressure.
3. Participate in Standard Activity
Active work is a strong pressure minimizer. Participating in standard activity discharges endorphins, which are the normal state of mind helping synthetic substances in the cerebrum. Hold back nothing 30 minutes of moderate-force workout, like energetic strolling, cycling, or swimming, most days of the week. Not exclusively will it assist with mitigating pressure; however it will likewise work on your general wellness and prosperity.
4. Practice Care and Unwinding Procedures
Integrating care and unwinding procedures into your everyday schedule can essentially decrease feelings of anxiety. Contemplation, profound breathing activities, and moderate muscle unwinding are viable techniques to advance a feeling of quiet and unwinding. Track down a calm space, put away a couple of moments every day, and permit yourself to drench in these practices completely. After some time, you’ll see a positive change in your capacity to oversee pressure.
5. Foster Healthy Relationships
Nurturing positive and supportive relationships is essential for reducing stress. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and encourage you. Share your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or family members who can provide guidance and empathy. Strong social connections act as a buffer against stress and can help you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.
6. Lay out a Reliable Rest Schedule
Sufficient rest is imperative for both physical and mental prosperity. Lay out a steady rest routine by heading to sleep and awakening simultaneously every day. Establish a loosening up climate in your room, liberated from electronic gadgets and interruptions. Practice great rest cleanliness by abstaining from invigorating exercises before bed and guaranteeing your dozing climate is agreeable and helpful for peaceful rest.
7. Using time effectively and Association
Unfortunately using time effectively and complications can add to sensations of overpowering and push. Assume command over your timetable by focusing on errands, defining practical objectives, and separating them into sensible advances. Use instruments like schedules, daily agendas, or efficiency applications to remain coordinated and increment your proficiency. By dealing with your time successfully, you can lessen pressure and make a more noteworthy feeling of achievement.
8. Engage in Hobbies and Creative Outlets
Engaging in hobbies and creative outlets provides a valuable outlet for stress relief and self-expression. Whether it’s painting, playing a musical instrument, gardening, or writing, find activities that bring you joy and allow you to unwind. Carving out time for these pursuits will help you disconnect from everyday stressors and tap into your creativity.
9. Look for Proficient Assistance When Required
Assuming pressure becomes overpowering or begins to disrupt your day-to-day routine, it is crucial to look for proficient assistance. Feel free to out to a certified specialist or instructor who can give direction and backing. They can assist you with creating viable survival techniques and deal with important bits of knowledge to successfully oversee pressure.
10. Practice Gratitude
Developing a feeling of appreciation can significantly affect lessening pressure. Pause for a minute every day to ponder the things you are thankful for, whether it’s the help of friends and family, a lovely dusk, or a little achievement. Appreciation moves your concentration to the positive parts of life, assisting with checking pressure and encouraging a more hopeful standpoint.
By integrating this basic way of life changes into your day to day daily practice, you can proactively decrease pressure and further develop your general prosperity. Keep in mind, little advances can prompt critical upgrades over the long run. Embrace these practices, regularly practice them, and partake in the positive effect they have on your life.

Hi everyone,
Me (F, 33) and husband (M, 33) have been TTC for ~3 years now, 1.5 years with IVF treatment. Never conceived/got pregnant yet. I have been quietly lurking in the subs here and some of your posts/comments have been helpful in many ways. This is my first post here.
History/tests done and results for me so far: Normal TSH, DHEA-S 294.8 ug/dl, AMH 1.21 ng/mL (low for my age?!). Have PCOS. No abnormal gene carrier, normal karyotyping results, no Lupus, no Anticardiolipin Ab, no HBSAg, no autoimmune diseases. HyCosy/HSG/MRI revealed left fallopian tubes was blocked and had adhesions along with the left ovary. Also learnt through the IVF cycles that my left ovary doesn't do much - barely any eggs retrieved from the left ovary, most eggs are coming from my right ovary. I also had surgery to remove polyps and uterus septum before any IVF cycles. I also had low Vit D for ~3 years, at normal levels now with taking regular supplements. Now I am actively trying to lose some weight to see if it helps (??!!) - weight in March 2024 was 196 lbs., current weight is 182 lbs. (height is 5'3"). Trying to lose more weight - walking 10K steps a day, focusing more on protein intake, low carb, clean eating no junk.
History/tests done and results for husband so far: 1 out 3 tests showed slightly abnormal sperm morphology. Sperm DNA Fragmentation Assay (SDFA) score 19 (borderline between 'normal odds' and 'reduced odds' of success). No abnormal gene carrier. Normal karyotyping results. No autoimmune diseases.
Supplements/medications I am taking: Prenatal, Vit D, Vit C, CoQ10, Omega3, Alpha lipoleic acid, Seed probiotics, Metformin.
Supplements/medications husband is taking: Multi-vitamin, Vit D, CoQ10, Omega3
IVF retrieval and transfer history/timeline:
1st retrieval in May 2023: Used GonalF 375 IU, MenoPur 150 IU, Cetrotide 0.25 mg. Trigger with 10,000 IU HCG. Retrieved 10 eggs, only 1 of those could be frozen after PGT-A. Used ICSI for this cycle.
FET in July 2023: Used oral Medrol, oral and vaginal estradiol, crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day and PIO every 3 days. Transferred 1 PGT-A tested Day 5 embryo (4BB) - ended in chemical pregnancy.
2nd retrieval in end of Sept 2023: Used Clomid flare, GonalF 450 IU, MenoPur 150 IU, Cetrotide 0.25 mg. Trigger with 10,000 IU HCG. Retrieved 10 eggs, only 3 of those could be frozen after PGT-A. Used ICSI, Zymot for this cycle.
Fresh transfer in Oct 2023: Used only Crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day. Transferred 1 untested Day 5 embryo - No implantation.
FET again in Nov 2023: Used oral Medrol, oral and vaginal estradiol, crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day and PIO every 3 days. Transferred the remaining 2 PGT-A tested Day 5 embryos (4AB and 5AA), also used embryo glue - No implantation.
Doc suggested removing my blocked left fallopian tube -- had laparoscopic salpingectomy surgery in Feb 2024. Took uterine tissue biopsy samples during surgery - normal results, Doc mentioned no endometriosis.
3rd retrieval in April 2024: Used Lupron 10 IU, GonalF 300 IU, MenoPur 300 IU. Trigger with 10,000 IU HCG. Retrieved 8 eggs, 2 of these made it to blasts, none frozen. Used PICSI for this cycle. I was also on Dexamethasone.
Fresh transfer in May 2024: Used only Crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day. I was also on Medrol, baby Aspirin and Doxycycline. On top of this, I added Pepcid, Claritin, Benadryl. Transferred 2 untested Day 3 embryos - No implantation (got beta result yesterday, also got my periods right after the blood draw in the morning, was devastated).
I have also tried eating pineapple core, beet+pomogrenate juice, McD fries, sex the night before transfer - all of it.
I am at a loss, I do not know what to do now. I am sitting and sobbing here as I am writing this. Thankfully, my insurance covers most testing and procedures, except PGT-A and my medication has copays. But this process is so emotionally draining. My husband is super supportive and tries to keep a positive vibe all the time, but I feel bad for us. Also, it is so hard to keep a nice face at work - no one (family, friends, colleagues) knows we are TTC with IVF.
What are we missing here? I feel like I have implantation issues? Any more testing? What else can I do?
Please let me know what worked for you, what more can be done in my case to have a successful pregnancy. ANY help is appreciated. TIA.

Pokemon Rejuvenation is about Karma playing a game called Pokemon Rejuvenation.
Here's why.

• Karma was tasked by Variya to judge worlds as based or unbased and decide if they should continue or not continue. In each of these cases, each world can get some number of Interceptors who, effectively, get to compete against Karma, and can foil Karma's goals by choosing to destroy that world that Karma might think is going quite well. Even though the literal purpose of Karma is to get The Best Ending, Variya placed Interceptors in each world that effectively work for her, and might make contracts with her directly, outside of Karma. Why?
• Karma also notes his true enemy is World Shatterer, who is the one who's trying to destroy "all worlds"... but the way he says it makes it sound like that all worlds that get destroyed are because of World Shatterer. This would imply that whatever Madame X or Indriad are going around doing, somehow, this comes back to World Shatterer - that World Shatterer is responsible. How and why?
• In the Dev Q&A, Zumi was asked if there was enough information in the games to at least "make a guess" about who World Shatterer is, who Madame X is, and who Eden's real world counterpart is. And she said yes, for everyone but Eden. So whatever the answer to "who is World Shatterer", it's not some completely out of nowhere solution of "This character that hasn't yet been introduced", it's either "A character we're already aware of", or "Some concept we can easily guess at".

To that end, I think there's only one non-deranged answer - Variya. Let's go with that for a second.

• World Shatterer is, explicitly, a she. It's not Melia, because Karma talks about World Shatterer in front of Melia. How many female characters are there who could conceivably be a multiversal threat that's killing everything everywhere? We basically have Madame X, some non-M2 evil version of Melia (so, Madame X lol), Clear, The Sinnoh Trio, Melanie, Angie, a renegade Interceptor, some evil version of Erin, or some evil version of Alice.
• Clear and the Sinnoh girls can be ruled out pretty much instantly. Clear works for a higher power, so presumably any alternates she/Xara has are the same. The Sinnoh Girls, likewise, take all their cues from Variya. Melanie, even after overlapping with Melia, became basically a god, but never seemed like she'd have the power it takes to be World Shatterer - but maybe more importantly, Karma didn't seem to recognize Melia, even an evil Melia, as being close to World Shatterer at all. If World Shatterer is just some kind of M9001, wouldn't he show a sign of this? Maybe being less shocked that Melia was mean to him? Anything?
• I did say World Shatterer could be some kind of Renegade Interceptor - but then why specify a "she", if it's meant to be a known, named Interceptor? The only definitely canonical female Interceptors are Spacea, Tiempa, Crescent, and... I think V is Genderfluid? But we can rule out all four of those as World Shatterer very very easily. And it's not like there's any others... right?
• There are - Kieran, Clear and Eden are Interceptors. It's not any of them. I'll get back to that.
• But by process of elimination, the only real options are Angie and Variya, and of the two, come on it's not Angie.
• There's more evidence. Adrest is shocked to hear that Variya is still alive. She's not meant to be alive. That's going against the original plan that Variya had told Adrest. In fact, the realization of this appears to be what alerts Karma to Adrest and gets Adrest killed.
• Furthermore, Spacea and Tiempa are unequivocal - they call Variya "Her Majesty". They treat her like God. Effectively, she is. She's pulling a lot of strings. She's engineering things quite deliberately, and we know that because Spacea and Tiempa go out of the way to lay down the path for her Interceptor to follow since Crescent is barely interested in Intercepting.

Variya is the ONLY non-deranged candidate for World Shatterer, out of characters that have already been introduced. You could theorize it's maybe someone like Nymiera or Rune, Nymiera is still beneath Variya in the pecking order, and Rune was trying to save the world, not shatter it. And here's another thing.
Kieran, Clear, and Eden are Interceptors.

• The New Game Plus chessboard has specific pieces that appear to be only for Interceptors. Crescent and Paragon Interceptor each have a specific styled piece, labelled a star of hope. Team Xen has three Interceptor pieces - Kieran, Clear, and the Lumiceptor, which is what I call the Renegade Interceptor because I'm not playing that route myself I be watching the game footage on youtube, and Lumi was the name of the Interceptor I was watching and so that's the Lumiceptor to me now.
• Presumably, if Kieran and Clear are Interceptors, Eden must be one too, right? But KC are keenly aware of their own mortality, which is NOT very Interceptorly. We also KNOW they don't have access to Zeight or Zeight's Interceptor revives. Furtheremore, unlike the other Interceptors, they DON'T have access to the Core. That's kind of their entire goal!
• What's more, Kieran definitely goes on about how much he's NOT an Interceptor, doesn't he? He talks a lot about fate and wanting to be free of fate and how Fate Bad. If you Intercept him when playing as Ren by showing Interceptor knowledge you shouldn't have, he calls out The Interceptor, Singular, which would seem to imply... it's not him. So how can he be an Interceptor and not be an Interceptor?
• Because KC are attempts at creating ARTIFICIAL Interceptors without the need for Variya or Karma. Xara and Jean were the Interceptors in their homeworld - likely Madame X's homeworld - and Kieran and Clear were based on them for that reason. They were built on the moonbase lab and assigned to Madame X and Team Xen to help accomplish the goal of destroying everything everywhere - World Shattering.
• The moonbase lab does not work for Team Xen - it works for Variya, and represents an escaped fraction of the Original Humans who are totally outside of Karma and the system. The visor that Moon Lavender had resembles Kieran and Clear's. The moonbase is, primarily, a World Shatterer lab, working against Karma. To help Team Xen shatter worlds, they built Kieran and Clear, their Artificial Interceptors, but they still haven't quite perfected it - they can't access Zeight so they can't get Interceptor revives, and they can't fully escape Karma's ability to just control the timelines.

Variya is World Shatterer, and Kieran and Clear are Artificial Interceptors built by a moonside lab that supervises Karma from the outside and works for her as well. But Variya built Karma to save and protect everything. Why would she be fighting Karma too?
Because it's a game.
Karma could sit down and just create worlds of happy sunshine joy joy forever and be satisfied with that perfect ending being achieved in every world, and just strategically not make worlds that have certain types of people in it. To prevent Karma from doing that, the worlds need outside elements beyond just the Interceptors. Those outside elements are Team Xen and other threats to the world, all of which are supported by, or come from, the moonbase lab, which operates under the supervision of Variya and understand her true nature. Beyond just letting the system do all the work with the singular failsafe of The Interceptor, Variya has an entire faction of her own that exists to compete with Karma.
And Karma kind of enjoys it.
The way Karma talks about World Shatterer isn't like someone who's deeply concerned with all the people who are going to die. It's a competition. Karma makes "new versions" to really show World Shatterer who's boss. Karma kind of talks in a whiny and childish way, which for the record is awesome for this kind of character, but it again suggests someone who's not in an existential struggle for the soul of everything - it's someone who wants to win. Because playing this game is part of what Karma is supposed to do.
Karma was built to take the Pokemon world that was destroyed, and to... revive it. To make the new world, the best possible world, or the best possible, flourishing worlds, as would be approved by Variya and the Overseers. Karma is playing a game, of restoring the Pokemon world. A game of...
Pokemon Rejuvenation.
Wait, why would it be so meta? Why would Karma's game be called Pokemon Rejuvenation? Because that was the password to the secret files about Karma that Adrest was holding onto. The words "Pokemon Rejuvenation" are already right there for Karma and Adrest.
Karma is supposed to play this game against an adversary, like an Ellimist/Crayak situation from Animorphs. That's why Karma deleted Adrest for realizing Variya was still there, before Adrest could truly do anything to work against Variya - he's meant to play the game against her. The Lumiceptor and Kieran and Clear are working against Karma, which is why Karma tries so hard to stop them by mutating Talon and eventually Aelita. Karma can supposedly control everything and everyone, but can't just stop them. Maybe that's not so shocking - they're all Interceptors of a type, except Madame X and Team Xen are trying to do the same thing that Karma doesn't want to happen. Why can't Karma just stop them and say "And then they didn't do that"?
Because Karma can't truly, completely bind the fate of Team Xen, because they're not Karma's pieces to play. They're World Shatterer's. Variya's. As part of the game - she plays both sides, by introducing Interceptors who can stop Team Xen, and also supporting Team Xen, all to try to engineer stronger, healthier worlds by forcing Karma to put in the extra work, and letting worlds that can't defeat Team Xen perish in a sort of cosmological natural selection. The moonbase lab is semi-independent to her - they do things that they know are sort of in the general direction of her goals, but she's not controlling their every move. Hence why she can both choose her own Interceptor to go out there and Intercept It Up, while the moonbase can try to work on creating their own artificial Interceptors to have as many as they need.
Except.
What if there's something else that Variya is after?
It was either Spacea or Tiempa who said that the boundaries between alternate selves was collapsing. We keep seeing this happen when Mosely and Amber remember Chapter 12. Let's circle back even further. Jan has said the actual purpose of Karma in the game is to prove there can be no True Ending. How can Karma's existence prove there's no True Ending, and why is Tiempa saying that the breakdown of the barriers between alternate selves is by the will of the Interceptor - and implicitly, by extension, Variya?
And what if, this is actually the key to beating Karma - beating Karma meaning not just freeing every world from Karma's control, but even freeing past worlds and past people from Karma's control?
Karma has overseen countless worlds filled with alternate selves, but the boundaries between these alternate selves are breaking down. I think this is Variya's win condition. She made Karma thinking that at some point, Karma would have to be shut down after enough blooming, flourishing worlds were created.
Here's my theory: When the barriers between alternate selves breakdown, if Karma isn't online, they won't overlap. But they won't just coexist either. Instead, they'll start to merge, and in a very fluid, weird way, that allows them to pick and choose which aspects of their history they want to be true.
All of a sudden, all those past histories that were fixed and chosen only by Karma are now in the control of all the characters freed from Karma's control, who now have the ability and power, in this weird fucked up non-overlapping state to pick and choose what they wanted their past to be too, and by extension, their future, and what worlds they'll fit into, and what the new worlds that exist after Karma will even be. Because for this to happen...
The old worlds will have to be Shattered.
You know, by some kind of, World Shatterer.
This would lead to all the characters not just gaining their freedom, but because they'll have so many different pasts and alternate selves to choose from, they'll have in some sense, never lost it in the first place. It will also lead to a fracturing of the timelines as new ones take shape, making it impossible to say any ending of the timelines is "more canonical" than the other. And this is the end that Variya is trying to force now that she believes Karma is no longer needed.
You know what I'm not done being deranged. Either Anathea and the Theolias are the descendants of MISSING.EXE, or Melia was created by MISSING.EXE, and MISSING.EXE is absolutely named Zed and probably looks a lot like Zetta.

• The New Game Plus Chessboard has Zetta labeled as the descendant of Zed. We've never heard this name before.
• Zetta doesn't HAVE human ancestors. So any humans he's descended from, or humanoids, have to come from Melia's side.
• Melia is explicitly Erin, Alice and Allen's sister. Even though she has some other freaky origin shit going on being 75 and everything, and her body rejecting the Archetype, we're told in no uncertain terms that Anathea is her mother. The weird thing is she says that she's Maria, that she knows she's Maria, and keeps feeling Maria's memories, but then later tells us she's not Maria like two minutes after.
• This means one of two things as far as I'm concerned - either Anathea's family is descended from Missing.EXE, who is Zed, or Melia's origin specifically comes from Zed and MISSING.EXE.
• As for why I'm identifying Zed as Missing.EXE - I mean come on. It's in the name.
• Zetta's name is very close to Zed. For that reason, and family resemblance alone and knowing it would make Impact when you see the resemblance in the game, I'm going with the assumption that Zed actually looks a lot like Zetta, which is a good way to have an impactful, shocking reveal, but also for it to be a character we've never met.

You know what I'm still not done. Rune was Madame X once. Fuck it let's go wild. Why does Madame X have such a weird, irrational attachement to former Axis High Students? Who could she be to have those wild attachements while also possessing a weird, mysterious amount of knowledge? Who else fits that bill? Of course it's impossible for current Rune to be Madame X, but then again, Rune was found in the Voidal Chasm where your history and past are eaten and everything goes weird about you, and everyone assumed she came from Miera directly from her past, instead of being in some freaky Timey Wimey situation - or it's a Rune from a past timeline, like I said in my other unhinged theory.
The Madame X armour carries her memories over to whoever becomes the new Madame X. Why not. Let's go apeshit.

• Indriad's goal is to find a way to resurrect the original Arceus and remove the worlds created by Karma.
• Ren kisses boys but he's not very good at it.
• Madame X's Yveltal is missing Indriad's Soul, which got separated from it and placed in Angie.
• Angie is also partly the result of attempting to turn a human into a servant like what Kanon is. Angie is to Anju... as Melia is to Maria.
• Melia is the result of attempting to do this to Maria and it ultimately failing.
• Madelis likes men.
• Erick secretly likes Brawl.
• I've got nothing for Lord Xenadin. He's Huey. Fuck it. Huey is a devolved aged down Lord Xenadin from the Voidal Chasm. What the fuck. Let's go.
• Valarie can't read.
• Aevium has not been accepted into the Poke-European Union.
• Anju is based.

Anyway I still can't compete with the person I remember seeing on rebornevo who said World Shatterer is Ame but I did my best.

The Beholder of Frost

• The Iwi are instantly thrown into a panic as the roar rings out into the caverns, and for a moment, silence replies when suddenly, the entirety of the Hollow Earth shudders as a deafening, thunderous bellow echoes with such ferocity, that parts of the ground collapsed into the earth from the intensity, the air quickly growing colder around them. Flakes of snow slowly fall from overhead, and the wind shifts instantly, becoming harsher and chillier as the Iwi immediately rush to hide in their temples, some even praying to the crystalline pyramids. Monarch gazes out into the distance behind the Skkar King’s throne, noticing a valley being swallowed by the largest snowstorm they could ever witness, parts of the Hollow Earth, and several smaller Titans being instantly frozen over as thunderous footsteps resonated from within the blizzard.
• Kong is frozen solid with growing panic as he watched an enormous shadow with icy, cerulean eyes peering back with savage hunger and seething rage, standing motionless as from behind Ares stomped out a quadrupedal creature bound in chains composed of ancient spinal cords. With pearlescent white scales, blue crystalline spines jutting down its back, a massive tail with a thagomizer made of the same crystals protruding from its end, and a crown-like formation of those crystal spines on its head, it was nearly as big as Ghidorah on all fours.
• Monarch is utterly speechless, following behind the Iwi as they duck for cover from the mountainous leviathan when Jia signs that she’s heard of the ice Titan once before, from legends told to her when she was a child; the Mother of all Old Gods, a primordial ruler as old as the planet itself and the beast who is said to be one of the first living creatures and the ancestors of all Titans, but legends referred to her simply as Shimo, the Beholder of Frost. The Iwi confirm the identity, remarking how the First God was beaten and whipped into submission by the Skkar King thousands of years ago, who uses the odd crystals around them as control, feeding Shimo fallen Titans in her own territory, an icy valley adorned with massive crystals and ancient, frozen pyramids, and using her frost powers to his bidding. The Skkar King commands Shimo with the large crystal to finish Kong off and discipline the insubordinate apes when he glances over at the edge of his den and notices a strange shimmering sight in the distance, to which he snarls out a menacing, toothed grin. Light. He could see the light from beyond the cavern.
• At the same time, Shimo bellows a thunderous warcry as its iridescent crystalline blades along her back glow and the air surrounding the Titans coalesces into a freezing haze, the ground beneath her cracking as the heat is sucked out of it, freezing instantly until she unleashes a concentrated blast of pure supercooled ice at absolute zero from her mouth right at Kong. Kong quickly dodges the blast as the impact causes jagged ice to splinter from the blast, stabbing right through one of the other apes, causing it to freeze instantly, its atoms slowing until ceasing all activity. Kong quickly escapes the tunnels out of the ape den with the Skkar King leaping onto Shimo and giving chase, riding Shimo like a valiant steed while hoisting Kong's axe in victory and ordering his apes to give chase. Jia, Andrews, and the rest of Monarch can do nothing but watch as the Skkar King rides Shimo through the Hollow Earth chasms, chasing after Kong who frantically tries to escape Ares and Shimo when he slams his fists into the walls of the tunnels, causing them to collapse just before Shimo can snap her jaws at him.
• Kong leaps up the sides of the chasm until he’s out of the caverns leading to the Skkar King’s den, only to feel a stinging pain as he notices a large patch of ice on his arm, resulting in an intense frostbite effect, to which he hobbles weakly back to the Monarch HEAT outpost before eventually passing out due to the pain. At the same time, Skkar returns to the den on Shimo and snatches the axe, raising it into the air and cheering triumphantly as he feels the first rays of light from the Hollow Earth in thousands of years, that they have a way to escape, and that it was time to begin his reign of terror, but Suko secretly sneaks away from the others, trying his best to find Kong.

The Divinity

• The Iwi in their village cower in fear as Ares and Shimo’s tumultuous roars echo through the caverns while Monarch attempts to understand what just happened, with Jia praying solemnly to the frozen ape Titan in the middle of the Skkar King's den while Ilene converses with Trapper and the Chen twins on what to do and how to escape. That’s when Ling Chen notices that some of the Iwi’s garments bear the same symbol as the Titan forever connected to their family bloodline, Mothra, and speaks to the Iwi Queen. She takes the main group into the crystal pyramids leading into a glowing, crystalline chamber, using a glowing liquid to highlight the cave murals etched into the rock and glowing with a multitude of colors from the Hollow Earth energy.
• They explain, with Jia translating via sign language, Andrews providing narration, and the cave paintings providing the visuals that Ares was once a member of a colony of Great Apes, with strong bonds with many other species, protecting the lands with a warrior's heart. Shimo was originally the alpha Titan inhabiting the Hollow Earth, creating a peaceful, thriving landscape while the Godzillas remained the alphas on the surface, enacting a mutual monster regime that kept many species from conflict. However, with the increasing conflicts between the Godzillas and the Kongs for resources, territory, and personal grudges on the horizon, a rogue Godzilla attacked the Kongs’ temple and ruthlessly killed the Skkar King’s mate and child, devouring the baby in front of Ares. With his entire family dead, Ares searched for anything to turn the tides in his favor against the Godzillas, and to seek vengeance for the loss of his family, eventually stumbling upon strange crystals deep within the Hollow Earth, powerful enough to force other Titans under its influence through unknown radiation signatures. However, there was one catch: The crystals were in a valley guarded by the hibernating Shimo, who had claimed the land as her territory millennia ago, creating an icy landscape for her own. When he tried to steal some of the crystals for himself, Shimo awoke and tried to defend herself with her frostbite blast until Skkar King managed to harness the slight electrical output the crystals gave, allowing him to essentially shock Shimo into submission. That was when she sensed the imbalance on the surface and in the Hollow Earth due to the Great Titan War raging on between the Godzillas and Kongs.
• Shimo could sense that both the Godzillas and the Kongs were becoming a scourge, a blight on the balance of nature for their destruction of the planet and petty conflicts, and wanted to return things to a purer time, agreeing to help Ares win the Titan war by wiping everything out and starting again. Now, the Skkar King and Shimo traversed the Hollow Earth, wiping out swaths of Titans and many tribal villages scattered about, breaking many sacred rules and taboos, and leading to the final conflict outside the Kongs’ ancient temple. However, with the help of Godzilla and a glowing, godly moth-like Titan simply known as “The Divinity,” they were able to lock the Skkar King, Shimo, and the remaining Kongs left in the Hollow Earth, away deep behind the mountains where none dared to venture, leaving them all to rot alone in solitude. The Iwi reveal that the Divinity was, in fact, an ancient member of Mothra’s species, who had sealed itself after the Great Titan War in a cocoon of transparent, near-invisible webbing infused with the radiation from the massive crystals around the village, preparing to awaken one day and restore the planet from the corruption slowly eating away at it.
• Andrews realizes that The Skkar King and Shimo want to make their way up to the surface to start their global invasion and that while Godzilla has been acting erratic for a while now, it’s because he’s preparing for the inevitable war between himself, Ares, and Shimo. She believes that the Skkar King and Shimo legitimately scare Godzilla and that the mere idea of Ares trying to oppose his rule again is enough to drive him into a ruthless, Titan-killing, city-destroying evolving panic. She realizes the Iwi sent the distress call because they, and even Godzilla, anticipated that Kong, searching for his kind, would soon discover the Skkar King's army. The Chens close the Iwi writings with a prophecy: at the end of the world, an Iwi from Skull Island and the blood of the Shobijin, another sect of Iwi originating from Infant Island, will come to save the world by summoning the Divinity, Mothra. They all realize this can only be referring to Jia and the Chens.
• However, Ilene mentions that he won’t be alone and that if they can somehow heal Kong and get him to persuade Godzilla to work together, they might have a chance, and the Chens see that in order for that to happen, they all must begin the ritual to wake up the elder Mothra. The idea alone terrifies Ilene, believing that Jia performing the ritual was too much for one child to handle, and reflects to Trapper that she promised herself to sacrifice whatever was necessary to give Jia a good life. She's realizing now that she may have to give up Jia herself to let her live with the Iwi, watching Jia quickly fit in amongst the Hollow Earth Iwi, but Trapper and the Chen twins remind her that Jia loves her, that she is a wonderful mother, and that Jia would want to stay with her, even if she’s found people like her and her ancestors.

Rapid Evolution

• Meanwhile, on the surface world, Monarch had still been tracking Godzilla as he traveled across the world to counteract the now-weekly Titan attacks, all bearing the mark of the Skkar King, his body slowly evolving due to the sudden intake of immense radiation, essentially hyper-evolving behind the normal state of his species. Now in Greenland after leaving Europe by way of Cádiz, Spain, a Monarch submarine followed Godzilla as he uncharacteristically ventured into the territory of Titanus Tiamat, who’s been resting here due to the largest stockpile of energy on the planet due to the electrically charged solar winds it absorbs. Godzilla fires his atomic breath into Tiamat's icy lair, narrowly missing the submarine, to which she quickly emerges and uses her whirlpools and phosphorus ink to disorient him long enough for her to constrict him but he rips off a chunk of her flesh; she answers by biting his neck and trying to smother him with her cranial fins.
• But the fins fail to stop him from unleashing a blast of atomic breath, driving her, badly injuring her, away from the area, allowing him to claim the radioactive area as his own. Now unopposed, Godzilla entered her lair and began harnessing the electrically charged energy Tiamat had been feeding on, absorbing the radiating into his dorsal blades, turning his bioluminescent to a fluctuating purple and pink, his dorsal plates growing even more, becoming similar to Godzilla 2000’s dorsal designs. Ice had begun to form around Godzilla as he began a rapid hyper-evolutionary state, seemingly growing even more powerful in preparation for what seemed to be an inevitable war on the horizon.
• Atmospheric radiation in the area would decrease dramatically as Godzilla absorbs any radioactive energy around him to fuel his hyper-evolution while Monarch closely watches by, monitoring whatever happens. At the same time, Mark notices that Godzilla has been sending out infrasonic beacons to the Titans still residing on the surface world to move toward entryways to Hollow Earth/Axis Mundi and serve as guards/sentinels in case anything came out, mentioning how it seems that he’s preparing for what could be World War 3. However, Godzilla’s absence has now caused the dynamic of power on the surface to shift, with the rising amount of Titans bearing the Skkar King’s handprint almost every day, and various weather anomalies involving ice storms and blizzards appearing all over the globe.

Iwi Findings

• Simultaneously, down in the Hollow Earth, Kong, and an arriving Suko, rest outside the Monarch HEAT facility with personnel treating the severe frostbite that has overtaken his right hand and forearm, leaving it stiff and red with peeling skin and flesh. After sending out an emergency beacon from the Iwi village, a HEAV arrives in the village with Bernie and Mikael, both of whom are petrified after their trip through the Hollow Earth portals, with the former shakily filming everything he sees, including seeing what looked like a massive skeletal turtle sleeping next to some Iwi children. The Iwi soon opened their barrier to let in an arriving Kong and Suko after following the HEAV, allowing both apes to glimpse the realm of their worshippers before Kong collapses from exhaustion, but manages to sit up to touch a finger to Jia's hand. He signs to her that he lost his home before falling unconscious with Suko tearfully watching over him.
• Monarch reconvenes in one of the temple pyramids to discuss what to do next, with Bernie mentioning that Kong nor Godzilla can’t stop this on their own, and that soon Shimo and the Skkar King will escape their prison and unleash hell in both realms, but Ilene retorts that they won’t be alone, and that they’ll help each other. Bernie is confused as to why Godzilla would help Kong after he tried to kill him back in Hong Kong, but that’s when Jia and the Chen twins point toward the wall of glowing hieroglyphics detailing the ancient story about the Great Titan War. Ares killing several members of both the Godzilla and Kong species as well as capturing Shimo and working with her were only a few of the sacred taboos he had broken, crimes that provoked war between all life in the Hollow Earth. But something happened where the battle ceased, yet only for a moment as something appeared to bring everything together to defeat it, though they couldn’t seem to find out the translation for what it was.
• But they don’t need to find a translation for it, as it was a Titan the entire world had witnessed before, King Ghidorah. But they weren’t alone in the mural, as three other unknown Titans stood beside it; one resembling a Godzilla adorned with crystalline dorsal fins and wings, one similar to a hybridization of Godzilla, a rose, and a Venus flytrap, and the last being what could only be described as an amalgamation of crustacean, insectoid, and draconic traits into an enormous abomination. The Iwi Queen enters the pyramid and notices Monarch talking about the cave paintings, interjecting into the conversation that they represent the “Follies of Nature,” with Ghidorah having been defeated and frozen in Antarctica by Godzilla and a disturbed Shimo, all of that happening before the events of the Great Titan War. Bernie is confused about how Shimo could be the Mother of All Old Gods considering that many of the Titans vary from mammal, insect, reptilian, and even unknown entities like Ghidorah since they’re an extraterrestrial lifeform, but the Iwi clarify that Shimo is the First God because she was the first living being of that immense size to be seen by the first human civilization. Shimo wasn’t the first Titan in existence, but rather the first one to ever be gazed upon by human beings, cementing her as the First God and Mother of All Old Gods.

Evolution of a God

• That’s when the group gets a call from Monarch, where Mark Russell informs the others that G-Team, along with Trapper, had been experimenting with weapons designed to be built onto Titans to assist them in combat called Project Powerhouse, and they had just finished constructing a superweapon that’ll also heal Kong of his extensive injuries. Ling points into the distance where they see a fleet of HEAVs carrying a huge shipping container with the Monarch logo painted onto it along with the word “B.E.A.S.T” in bold black letters. Over their comms systems, Monarch all watch as Suko tries to protect Kong from the HEAVs, growling, and swatting at them, but quickly realizes that they mean to help Kong, eyeing them open the container to reveal a massive yellow gauntlet, a mechanical brace spanning the Titan’s elbow to his fingertips. Trapper calls the glove the “BEAST Glove,” a weapon conceived from the myths and legends of ancient civilizations building weapons to aid the Titans in combat where their abilities aren’t enough, and while Ilene is a bit upset at Trapper for trying to experiment with an innocent creature, one that she has taken care of for several years, Bernie mentions how Kong being healthy should be the only thing that matters, and that he needs help since The Skkar King and Shimo now have a way to escape.
• It isn’t long before Kong suddenly awakens, his eyes dilated, heartbeat pounding, and as the BEAST Glove injects a cocktail of adrenaline-based meds into his bloodstream, giving him a second wind while Suko cheers excitedly, and Monarch waits to see how Kong will be affected by the brace. Slowly rising to his feet, Trapper remarks that either Kong will absolutely love it, or that he’ll rip it off with his teeth, but to Monarch’s surprise, Kong seems to be noticing something else, spotting what looked like the remains of a Kong laying on an open vein of Hollow Earth energy. Kong slowly presses a finger against the flowing pool of energy, quickly roaring in pain as his eyes roll toward the back of his head, his mind flashing with an array of images; the other Great Apes, Jia, Godzilla, Skull Island, the Skkar King, Shimo… and the last thing he could remember of his family - their last moments on Earth.
• Lightning bursts from the crack in the soil, surging up Kong’s arm and throughout his body as the BEAST Glove imbued Kong with the ability to enhance a now unlocked bioelectrical organ in his chest, allowing him to harness the power of electricity like the Skkar King, but supercharge it with the BEAST Glove. Jia quickly signs to Kong that they’re going to need help in defeating Ares and Shimo, and Kong, knowing exactly who to find, makes his way toward the nearest portal to the surface to find Godzilla, telling Suko to stay behind, and watch over his family. Now harnessing the ancestral power of his kind to control electricity, Kong bellows out a mighty warcry, one that’s not only picked up by the Skkar King and Shimo but Godzilla as well, even while he’s evolving in the ice.
• Meanwhile, in his new den in Greenland, Godzilla awakens midway through his hyper-evolution, his body now leaner and muscular, his skin much spikier than before, dorsal plates curved backward and sporting a crystal-like texture, and a thagomizer made of spikes on his tail. At the same time, his radioactive outpost is nearly 20x as much as any other member of his species, and his normal blue energy has now shifted into a magenta-pink hue, spreading all over his body like veins. Hearing the bellowing roar of Kong deep in the Hollow Earth, Godzilla quickly dives into the sea to follow after him, tearing through any Monarch vessel in his path, his new evolved state causing his temperament to reach an almost unhinged degree of anger.
• At the same time, in the Skkar King’s den, he garbs himself in a shawl made of Godzilla’s leathery hide and a mask resembling the skull of Anguirus marred with the red war paint before hopping onto Shimo’s back like a horse, raising Kong’s axe. Ares then bellows out an almost long-forgotten language triumphantly before leading the army of Kongs out of the den, revealing that the Skkar King could actually speak, though spoke in a dead language from a bygone era. Using her frost blast, Shimo creates a massive crater, allowing her, Skarr King, and the other monsters to finally escape their prison into Hollow Earth, Skarr quickly orders Shimo to begin their invasion, to which she begins unleashing her frostbite blast in all directions, freezing everything in their way until they’re marching through an enormous blizzard. Suko watches on from the shadows, worried about their plans for the surface before going off to warn Monarch and Kong, not knowing that one of the Skkar King’s guards had been following him, finding the Iwi village, and returning to Ares to inform him of a way out - a way to the surface world...

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/SRBias posting in relationship_advice
Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 10th May 2024
Update - 13th May 2024
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I (50 M) just learned my spouse (47 F) was unfaithful years ago in marriage. She came clean from guilt. Where do I go from here?
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This will be quite a lengthy read because I'm laying out everything to get honest opinions with all the context. There's a TLDR at the end for those who'd rather skip the backstory. I know that most people go incognito with a throwaway account for this kind of post. But I wanted this to be authentic, using my real account. I didn't want anyone to think this was disingenuous. If we know each other in real life or you find me on my other socials, let's keep our chats here or in PMs. I don't want anyone harassing anybody, and I have a sixteen-year-old daughter who has been spared this drama so far.
I tied the knot shortly after high school, and let's just say, if my marriage were a collegiate course, it would be "F*** Up - 101." It was a masterclass in what not to do, featuring every red flag in the book. I was fresh-faced and barely off on my life journey, thinking I'd hit the jackpot. I'd assumed I'd accomplished what my parents did, that being the poster couple for marital bliss. I was so naive, always giving the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, my then-wife, fresh from escaping her parental fortress of solitude, went bat s*** crazy, deciding that 'living life to the fullest' didn't include me in the picture.
Before I knew it, I was Mr. Mom with our toddler while she was trapped underneath a few individuals, making up for lost time. After finally catching her in the act, I filed for a divorce and braced for the impact. Divorcing in '97 in the heart of the bible belt was not favorable towards the husband back then. What followed was straight out of a horror movie. I paid my attorney five thousand dollars to watch her take everything from my guitars and video games. She even claimed keepsakes from a departed relative, and the judge seemed happy to grant her every wish. Not only did I bid farewell to everything I owned, but my time with my son got slashed to a mere Wednesday afternoon and alternating weekends.
My faith in women was broken. I went on a few dates here and there but mostly kept it to casual encounters and dinners. I never let anyone get too close. But, in early 1999, at a friend's birthday party, I met a woman whose marriage had crashed harder than mine. She'd had a stillbirth six months into her pregnancy, and her husband dared to bring his girlfriend to the funeral. She was heartbroken, to say the least, to learn about her husband's affair and the end of her marriage on the day they laid her daughter to rest. We sat on a couch that night, swapping tales of romantic ruin. She was clever, and to me, that is an instant connection. It's rare for me to find someone who makes me laugh instead of vice versa. As I headed home, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts, kicking myself for not asking for her number.
The next, my phone rang, and it was her! She'd gotten my phone number from someone we both knew and asked: "Would you like to get food sometime?" I said, "Now sounds great!" So, I drove to her grandmother's house, and off we went on what turned out to be what I still consider the perfect date. Now, I get it; we were both lonely and had our hearts broken, but trust me, this was no spark; it was an inferno. And believe it or not, we've been inseparable since that day. We have not spent a night apart. That was twenty-five years ago, with us marrying a year after our meeting. Go ahead and facepalm, I know how it sounds, but it's hard to put the connection between us into words. Even I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
Our families adored the two of us together. I was certain I had found my soulmate, if you believe in that, and I was certain she felt the same. We enjoyed each other's company, and our lives meshed perfectly. As with life, however, it finds those moments of bliss to take a giant s*** on you. In 2006, I began feeling ill; eating resulted in violent illness, which I initially thought was a virus. But after a week with no improvement, it was clear this was something else. I was admitted to the local hospital and underwent numerous tests. When I was first admitted, I weighed 222 pounds at a height of 6'2". Within a year, I had dropped to 146 pounds, and my condition dumbfounded the doctors. My health was deteriorating rapidly. Throughout the ordeal, she never left my side, her hand in mine, begging me not to leave her.
In late 2007, a last-ditch effort sent me to the Cleveland Clinic, where a young doctor rushed me into surgery. When I awoke three hours later, she was there, hand in mine, with a smile. It was a success; I was cured. While I'll spare you the details, it involved my colon. Finally, I could eat and move without agony. My life resumed, and we were happy again. The following year, she received a lucrative job offer in her field, earning more than I did. That didn't bother me at all; she worked hard, and she'd earned it.
After her miscarriage, my wife was unable to conceive. We had been trying since 2000 and eventually came to terms with the fact that it might not happen. In 2010, we got a call from the state of Minnesota about a two-year-old girl who had been taken from her mother due to drug-related charges. They asked if we would consider adopting her because the mother had requested she be placed with family members before her parental rights were terminated. My wife and I drove for 30 hours to meet her, and after a few months, we adopted her and welcomed her into our home.
Our daughter faced social challenges and had endured abuse, leading the two of us to decide one of us needed to be at home with her. As mentioned, my wife earned significantly more, so it made sense for me to be the one to step into the role. I dedicated each day to supporting our daughter's mental health. While I played a part, I can't claim all the credit for this; her preschool, kindergarten, and therapist were instrumental in her learning to socialize and trust again. Eventually, I took up freelance journalism, so I was home when our little one finished her school day.
Our evenings were family time, and we took small trips on weekends. It was in 2017 that my wife returned from work one evening, deeply shaken by what she told me was a workplace argument. Despite my attempts to console her, she remained incorrigible. She was declaring her intent to find a new job. She'd never had any issues before, so I was stunned. For days, she was a mess and withdrawn. When I pressed for details, she'd say, "It would only upset you. Let me deal with it."
True to her word, she left for a new company within a week, accepting a 15 percent reduction in pay. I should have questioned it then, but she never gave me cause for concern. Once she began her new role, life returned to normal, and our family happily moved forward. In 2022, I published my first novel with an independent publisher, fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could sense the pride emanating from both my wife and daughter. I had achieved this milestone before my fiftieth birthday, and I couldn't wait to start on my second one.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where my world breaks. In 2023, as I was finishing up my new novel, my twenty-seven-year-old son from my first marriage died suddenly of a heart attack. He had an underlying condition that none of us knew about. I want everyone to understand that when you say, "I couldn't imagine my child dying," you truly can't. There is no pain quite like it. My wife and daughter, who also felt his loss deeply, did their best to support me. But there is no way to deal with such a tragedy. In the months following his death, I immersed myself in my work, striving to complete my second book for him.
On the day I finished it in January, my father passed away after a long battle. Dad had been ill for a long time. You think you can prepare yourself for that, but that's a lie you tell yourself. The loss was hard, and my daughter was instrumental in getting me back on my feet. My second book was released in February, and I tried to smile as I had my release party. At the beginning of April, I started feeling better, writing outlines for my third novel and doing the same things I'd always done with my wife and daughter.
My wife and I have a Wednesday tradition where she picks a random recipe she finds online, and we cook it together. On April 3rd, while making crockpot chicken tacos, I thanked her for everything. She asked why, and I thanked her for everything she'd done to get me through the tough times. I shared a lot of pent-up emotions, telling her I couldn't have managed without her. She started crying, then weeping, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to comfort her with a hug, but she pushed me away. I apologized, not realizing my words would stir such a reaction.
Suddenly, she confesses her infidelity. I laughed, mistaking it for a joke. She grabs my shoulders and then details how, back in 2017, a 28-year-old at her former job started flirting with her, and she reciprocated. She believed it was innocent, yet it persisted. My wife has always feared growing old. Her birthdays were days she dreaded every year. She admitted that the attention from a younger man was exhilarating. She told me that turning 40 had sent her into a tailspin and that she couldn't talk to me about it because I would have just shrugged it off.
He invited her to leave work early and come to his place one day. She couldn't understand why she chose to; maybe it was the thrill. She said she didn't know, but she went and ended up sleeping with him. Afterward, she felt terrible, glaring at her keychain in his driveway because it had a photo of me holding our daughter. She drove home, and that's when she lied about having a workplace argument. She never wanted to return there. It's why she suddenly went somewhere else. She then told me she wanted to tell me but didn't have the fortitude to do it.
I remained silent, just wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She apologized, saying she couldn't live with it any longer. I just shook my head, unable to speak a single word. She offered to leave if that's what I wanted, to attend counseling, or even to beg for my forgiveness. Instead, I picked up my AirPods and phone and walked out. I wandered from six in the evening until almost eleven that night. When I returned, she was on the loveseat, asking if I was ready to talk. I shook my head again, went to my office, where I had a couch, and slept there.
The next day, after our daughter left for school, she asked if I had anything to say. I said yes. I questioned why she brought this up after the worst year of my life. Why couldn't she have kept it to herself until I could somewhat deal with something of this magnitude? She just looked away. I scoffed and told her to go to work and to try not to f*** anyone during her lunch break. That would have been April 4th; those were the last words I said to her until last night.
She had attempted to talk to me several times, but I would just walk past her into my office, trying to focus on my upcoming science fiction comedy book. Writing something funny is challenging when the thought of your spouse rolling around with another man stuck in her consumes your thoughts. A week ago, my daughter asked in the car if everything was okay, and I lied to her, which made me feel sick. Then, last night, my wife came to the office door and asked, "Are we getting a divorce?" I looked at her and replied, "Looks like it." She started crying and closed the door.
I haven't consulted an attorney, and the thought of divorce hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it. That's why I wrote this essay. Where do I go from here? How do I start to untangle this mess? I have no desire for therapy. I don't even want to step outside. I'm broken at this moment. The burden of everything has been overwhelming. There's been so much to bear this past year. What do you say to someone who has been by your side through it all, only to tear your heart apart?
Thank you for reading to the end. And for those who are part of the TLDR crowd, my wife decided to go home with a younger man, felt guilty about it, and quit her job. She waited eight years to tell me about it.
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Comments
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Foreign_Flight4566
Jesus, man. I’m sorry for your loss(es). Timing of your wife’s confession is mind-boggling. Realistically, this is above Reddit’s pay grade. I’ll recommend therapy, but probably above a therapist’s pay grade too. I know you also state you don’t want therapy, but that sounds like the exact time you need it. They can offer grief support, which is what you’ll need as you tease out emotions from losing loved ones and a very nasty betrayal. I hope you find happiness in whatever you decide.

OOP: I contemplated several different subs and I have no idea why I chose this one. I should have clarified above that after my son died, local hospice house around here has grief counseling, which I used extensively. I don't want to do couple's counseling is what I should have said. My apologies. I posted this to try and get outside perspectives from people, and maybe give me a different angle to look at this.

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cakivalue
Not couples counseling but individual therapy for you. You need the support right now after all you've been through and an unbiased third party to support you through the pain and demise of your marriage, next steps and co-parenting.
My unprofessional angle here is that this is most likely over. Had she come clean in 2017 you would have been able to make a choice regarding forgiveness, couples therapy etc. she held on to this secret for seven years and then dumped it on you at the worst time in order to ease her own guilty feelings. Especially knowing that you had both been hurt in this exact way in the past is especially jaw dropping that she did all of this.
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Magnum_tv
Fuck man! This is...just fuck...
Firstly, I'm so sorry for your losses. I extend my sincere condolences.
You need grief counseling. This would help you put things in perspective. At least you'll be able to eventually make decisions based on logic than just pure emotion.
Secondly, your spouse. She not only betrayed you, she lied to you for eight years. EIGHT YEARS! That's fucking scary, because now you're gonna be wondering what else she can be hiding.
Now I'm an asshole, I'd be out of that marriage tomorrow. You however, have truly built a life with her. If, and I mean a big fucking IF, she's regretful, you should divorce, it would be less stress in your life having to be her warden. Because the trust is gone.
If, she's remorseful, you could try to work it out. But she needs to put in the work. Not you, HER. Because she's the one who fucked up.
Remember, regret and remorse are two completely different things.
I'd recommend you still talk to a lawyer before making a final decision. The more informed you are, the better choice you'll be able to make.
I'm truly sorry you're dealing with this, best of luck brother.

OOP: Thank you so much. This is another thing in the back of my mind what else has she been dishonest about?

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Update - 3 days later
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UPDATE - After spending Saturday morning formulating and reading the staggering number of comments, I've made my decision. Some said my issue was far beyond the Reddit pay grade – they were mistaken. I deliberately avoided turning to family and friends, seeking a view from an outside perspective, and I think it worked. My gratitude goes out to all who sent private messages and responded; your thoughts on the matter helped me come to my conclusion.
On Saturday evening, I approached my wife to apologize for the silent treatment, I told her I wasn't attempting to punish her and acknowledged that it was childish. I told her if I would have opened my mouth, I would have been overly harsh and ruined any opportunity of a civil conversation. I promised we'd discuss it the next day.
On Sunday evening, I let it all out; I didn't cry, or raise my voice. I asked the man's name, which she provided. I asked her if the man was married when she betrayed us, and she confirmed he was. That hit me hard, because she knew he was also with someone. I asked if he was still married. She told me she had no clue, she hadn't seen him since the day she left for her new job. I told her I hoped they were, because I was going to make sure she knew. If my life had to be ripped apart, so would his. I thought that would get a rise out of her, it didn't. She just nodded.
I expressed my doubts about the affair being an isolated event, echoing the comments of several others. She maintained it was a one-off and was the sole reason she left her job. I explained that after eight years of this lie, it's natural for me to question anything she said. I then made it clear that if there's more to the story than what she's admitted, now is the time to be as open and honest as possible.
Any further revelations would be a deal-breaker for me, and there would be no excuse that could rectify it. She pleaded it was a singular occurrence and that she's been wanting to confess since it happened. I asked if he had reached out after her departure, she denied any contact. I responded that it didn't surprise me, assuming he got what he wanted and moved on to another person at work. It was the only cheap shot I threw.
I requested that she leave the house for a few weeks, I wasn't telling her it was over, but I wanted to be away from her. I suggested she could stay with her sister, her mother, or even rent a place—anywhere but here. I also informed her of my intention to discuss the situation with our daughter, who is 16 by the way, some people have commented believing her to be quite younger. To my surprise, my wife revealed she had already told her about a week ago, which I was completely unaware of. She inquired about the tone of the house, and my anger, and my wife confessed to her. Before my daughter went to bed, I asked her, and indeed, my wife had admitted that she had been unfaithful. I wanted to know why she hadn't come to me about it, and she told me she didn't want to make me feel worse.
I've decided to keep her home from school tomorrow to have a heart-to-heart about everything. It's important for me to understand her feelings and to emphasize that harboring hatred towards her mother isn't the goal. Her mother has always been loving and supportive. It's natural for her to feel angry, and that's okay, but picking sides isn't beneficial – nobody wins in this situation. It's a tough reality I'm coming to terms with, everyone loses. Tomorrow, I plan to contact three local therapists and reach out to the grief counselor I met after my son's death. I'm not interested in couple's therapy; I believe individual therapy is what I need, and since it's highly recommended, I'm going to pursue it.
My daughter's school year is ending soon, and I'm looking forward to spending quality time with her. I prefer to keep our plans private from family and friends; it's our personal matter. Someone advised me about controlling the narrative, but the only thing that matters now is that my daughter knows the truth. I need some time to come to terms if this relationship is salvageable. I need this time for self-reflection and to assess the situation. When she asked if we were going the route of legal separation, I clarified that it wasn't the case. I told her that when I look at her it brings up feelings of anger, which isn't healthy.
To my astonishment, she consented to everything. She doesn't want our relationship to end, and I reminded her that her actions with him forfeited that choice to me. She mentioned my wedding ring as a sign that she still matters to me, and I assured her that she does. I proposed we conclude things there. As I walked by, I touched her shoulder; she nodded in agreement. Later, she phoned her sister and made plans to stay with her the following evening after work.
TLDR. I want to express my gratitude to everyone for their support and guidance, except to the asshole that just wanted to pick a fight. I apologize for the length of my initial post; I believed the full context was necessary to help you understand why I'm so conflicted. To those who reached out privately and know my identity, your discretion is deeply appreciated. I'm looking forward to spending the next month with my daughter and starting therapy. Your messages are welcome, and I'll do my best to respond to each one. I'll provide another update in the future when I've made a decision about our next steps or if it's time to move on. I am not rushing into this decision lightly.
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Comments
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Bolt_McHardsteel
Clearly you have given this a lot of thought, and come up with a way forward that is best for you. Good luck in therapy, get yourself mentally right, there is no rush to make a final decision on your marriage. Take good care of your daughter! She seems like an amazing kid. Hang in there.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I have a cuckold kink/fantasy
Yea I know quite an arbitrary statement for this sub.
I write this primarily as a form of catharsis, and post it as a means to gain further insight, understanding, and advice.
Here's my story:
Recently I've (18m) confronted and accepted this kink as a part of myself. In my last and first relationship, lasting almost two years, as we tend to do in first relationships, we discovered ourselves and each other sexually. We eventually entertained a purely fictional cuckold fantasy. Purely that, a fantasy. I would tell her to tell me explicit details and stories of her fictional sexual encounters with another man. The other man in question would essentially be me. She would refer to him by name, as this way we were both more comfortable and kept our sanity. This fantasy at times was more of a turn on than others, though in an opposing sense I craved praise and essentially being put on a pedestal. The opposite of being cucked. At times even entertaining fictional fantasies of cucking her or being the fictional bull. Though they seem now as primarily unconscious attempts to cope just as the cuckold kink and any kink or complex is.
Though while entertaining this fantasy in only a fictional context, and of course was entirely clear on it not becoming a reality, I never truly accepted it as a cuckold kink. I enjoyed the idea of being cucked. This reality was to harsh and brutal to accept, and in fact it goes against "who I am", my narrative, my persona, my ego, as the term "cuck" was only introduced to me as an insult. Being presented to me as something so shameful, humiliating, and counter-intuitive I was very hesitate to accept this.
fast forward a few months ago I caught myself again searching the word cuckold in reddit for porn, and I thought to myself, "this can no longer be ignored". "I clearly have a cuckold kink" and though those words hurt to say to myself and brought about heaps of anxiety coupled with shame, they were in a sense liberating. I knew this to be true, I've known it for years now, at least a year. A part of myself I've been repressing and denying had finally been realized, finally paid some attention to. this while difficult to digest, was liberating.
Naturally, I yearn to understand. In my psychoanalytic nature I know there is a root cause, I know there are underlying motives. So I journal. And hell i must've gotten like 4 - 8 pages out until I found what I believe to be the most resonating and reasonable and conscious root cause.
I started at my last cuckold experiences, and slowly went further back until I found myself at my first "sexual" or intimate encounter. I was maybe 6 or 7. My neighbor, a year older than me would make it a habit to flirt with me, in whatever way a child does. Of course we became "friends" and I developed my first crush on this girl. She would introduce me to "french kissing", porn, and well . . . Cuckoldry. Yea... She was adamant about having a crush on my older brother (who did no part in entertaining this) and even attempting to flirt with my cousins and friends. Yea... She would frequently pick my brother over me in games (tag, hide n go seek, etc.) and even speak with me of how she would plot to try and see his penis and then would literally go and try to pants him (rip is shorts off) just in the middle of the house.
With a newfound acceptance and understanding of this side of myself, this kink. Previously living primarily on my shadow side, I am urged to understand this kink as well as other things more deeply (as I am a passionate psychology student). Online I find no satisfactory answers. at least no concrete ones. And so I look within. I invite this side of myself to come out, like a bear to a bear trap, I allow it it's cake, but I catch a picture, a snapshot of the beast. I analyze on the spot. "What triggered it?", "How was I feeling before, during, and after", "What relation does this have with the resolution of this feeling" in other words, how is this and what is it being used to cope with. Of course coming to the clear "conclusion" that it lye primarily in an exaggerated inferiority feeling and humiliation. the only question is why do you derive pleasure from these counter-intuitive and counter-productive emotions. In my case, and in the case of virtually everyone else's, It is because at some point and time they have brought us pain. This brings me to my theory
Kink as a Defense Mechanism
Defense mechanisms are characterized primarily by the psyches unconscious or conscious attempt to evade pain, and evolutionary speaking "death". So, what happens is that when there is a painful stimuli coupled with the feeling of hopelessness, lack of control, etc. the psyche develops a complex or "defense mechanism" to protect itself. In this instance, it is common that the "cuck" has had a series of experiences of some kind of infidelity or inferiority, either in the same sexual/romantic context or in another and the psyche has unconsciously determined this an inevitable occurrence. We are bound to be cheated on again and again we are led to believe unconsciously. And so, because this all happens in the unconscious, the formation of the defense mechanism is almost beyond our control, the unconscious decides and holds no considerations of any conscious values and considerations. of course, in any case causing subtle cases of cognitive dissonance or internal-conflict. And ultimately, in the attempt to protect itself from pain,because it has decided that the painful stimuli is not one that can be controlled or avoided it has decided its best course of action to be to turn pain into pleasure.
Personal Implications: Why I'm posting this
All this being said, I as many, do not wish to be a cuck. It's fine that I have this kink and get turned on by the fantasy and all but it should stay just at that, a fantasy. The issue though is that I fear that I would one day become a cuck (not to criticize those who choose the lifestyle, it is simply not for me). On one hand I fear that if I choose to repress this kink and not entertain it in any future relations that it will only grow in the unconscious to a more unmanageable degree, and on the other hand that if I choose to entertain it as a fantasy that it will grow in the sense that I may become unsatisfied with the mere fantasy and desire more and more. As we do always with drugs, porn, gambling, etc. Tolerance grows.
Now, I don't want to actively be or practice or ever psychically manifest this fantasy as it goes against everything I stand for in myself (Jungian shadow clearly). Firstly the cuckold archetype is essentially putting himself in the beta/lower and inferior position. A position I not only do not belong in in reality as I have built a fairly strong and healthy relationship with traditional masculinity and a strong sense of self. A persona that radiates self-assurance, confidence, etc. Though while still being plagued with a deep rooted inferiority complex, also manifested as a superiority complex. of course playing a role in all of this. Beyond the internal-conflict being stirred, this "lifestyle" to me seems to have the devils(symbolic) hands all over it.
"Don't block the good lustful feelings that are coursing through your veins. Shame is a man made feeling and it seeks to block the energies that are soothing you. Let the lust flow through you. Embrace it and you shall be free. And remember never look back. Then the Gods will favor you."

• a response to a reddit post considering entering the lifestyleThough with a point in the idea that shame has been manufactured as a means of control and self repression/suppression/oppression rather than freedom of expression, The kink is a corruption of the human mind in a way as is any unconscious complex or defense mechanism and the participation is the sin.Reading countless stories and perspectives on the issue it seems from the outside that this fantasy comes to consume those who actively participate. Not to say that they have no life outside of sex-life but it becomes an issue to me personally when you are concerning yourself with sex for several hours of your day on a near daily basis. There are those who speak of their experiences as the addict speaks of his with his "drug of choice". Of course, it is not healthy to view this all as a 'sin"
• "As soon as man was able to conceive or recognize sin, repressions arose."

-C. G. Jung(1933)
It is crucial to not judge oneself in any process of understanding and change
Beyond this though is just what it brings into any relationship this may be practiced. It will inevitably corrupt the relationship, and is just against my morals and values. I do not what an unfaithful partner, I do not want o be made to feel inferior, I do not want to corrupt my interpersonal relationships or my destroy a healthy view of myself
What is my solution?

Let me preface this all by saying I absolutely love my baby. My husband and I are in a very loving relationship, this baby was (honestly, very overly) planned and I am so grateful to have him here now, healthy and relatively easy for a new born.
But holy fuck dude.
Trying to conceive took almost 18 months. I’d been on birth control for so long I didn’t remember what my periods were really like until I was having them again. They’ve always been irregular but I didn’t realize that mattered (because what 15 year old is worried about their fertile window). All I knew was that my emotions were really intense and I had horrible symptoms so we went on birth control so I was more comfortable. When I got off it took months to regulate, then months of winging it, and then the anxiety made everything so much worse. Obsessively tracking cycles, and then fertility windows that would be 9 days long or only 24 hours, staring and hoping for a second line on a test, fertility doctors and blood test after blood test until it finally happened! Then blood tests to make sure he remained and the anxiety of implantation bleeding until it took.
Then my pregnancy was really hard. Not dangerous, so it’s hard to justify, but I was sick the entire time to the point I only gained about 5 pounds by the time I gave birth. I was religiously on Zofran my third trimester because nothing else we’d tried made any difference. My mental health was very controlled prior but hormones are no fucking joke and we’d had some family drama the entire time which essentially made for constant anxiety. But when you complain about anxiety everyone says to relax because it’s bad for the baby….so then you worry about your anxiety affecting your baby.
When my due date came and went, we had an additional ultrasound to make sure everything was good. It was not. Amniotic fluid was low so I needed to be induced - not ideal but not a c-section, so I was thrilled. 24 hours later, an epidural that needed to be re-administered 6 times, and pushing for 4 hours while it repeatedly wore off and I still ended up with an emergency c-section. I won’t go into details but it was very traumatic and has ensured I will never try to deliver naturally again. That recovery was not at all expected and so have not at all been prepared for neither emotionally or physically. But it would be okay! Because I would breastfeed.
Except no one tells you that breastfeeding is really fucking hard. Like, knowing what a correct latch feels like isn’t something you know until it happens, so your lactation consultant will congratulate you on your abilities even though your nipples are cracked and bleeding and you’ll think the pain is normal so you won’t understand why your baby seems to be losing weight. Then you go to his first appointment and you immediately have to start supplementing and doing weight checks because he’s lost so much. But pregnancy was hard, and birth wasn’t what you wanted, so you NEED to feel accomplished with breastfeeding. So you do EVERYTHING but your supply is low. Pumping doesn’t help like it should, you’re taking supplements and getting enough for a single bottle if you’re lucky PLUS feeding on demand. But hey, at least you figured out how to actually latch for the little bit you can give to your son! So I am still trying, and moderately succeeding and failing in equal measure.
Then we got sick, and a sick 3 week old is really scary and can get very dangerous very very fast. So we were at each others throats, not sleeping because we had a newborn, barely eating because we’re sick (which, also, effects your milk supply when you’re breastfeeding), and terrified this very wanted baby was very much not going to be okay.
BUT WE SURVIVED! Started talking to psychs and therapists about breastfeeding stress and anxiety, and got plans and goals to do better. Have a whole day of doctors appointments and I’m feeling like I’m gonna make it through.
And then my company has massive layoffs and even though I’m under FMLA my role is impacted and I will not only be terminated, it will leave me with essentially only 2 weeks of severance, and a loss of 4 weeks of income, because of the termination date and my companies rules on tenure. I now have to look for a job in a terrible economy where I am now applying against my colleagues with a job title that is lower because they couldn’t afford to promote me when I deserved it. When do I apply? Now, because it’ll take 3 months for me to get a job? When my maternity leave was going to end? When my severance is out? I have no childcare lined up, I was planning to be home with a mommy’s helper but not where does remote work anymore. Daycares have waitlists and applications and I have no income to support an extra 2 grand a month in placement.
That was over two weeks ago and I’ve completely lost track of my life. Days blend, I’m constantly oscillating between severe anxiety, extreme anger and deep depression. I worry about feeding my baby (both from my body but also financially my ability to buy formula), I worry about him getting sick again and am significantly limiting his interactions with people which ends up isolating me too, between hyper focusing on a job search and then deleting LinkedIn and sobbing for hours. I’ve got all the postpartum horrors and diagnosis and I’m working with doctors on all of them but FUCK. I’m glad I love my family because it would really easy to just dip.
Postpartum is horrible and hard and then I lost my fucking job and thank god I love my baby and husband. My family is here and supportive but at 30 I really wish I didn’t have to call my mom to help with my mortgage.
Anyways, thanks. Writing this out was therapeutic, I really hope you didn’t torture yourself and read it all.

I understand the general concept of what I desire, yet I'm uncertain about the fundamental components that make it function.
Explaining this without making it overly complex is challenging for me, but I'll give it a shot. Please bear with me if it turns out to be quite lengthy; articulating my thoughts clearly is not my strong suit.
Creating an entire universe linked solely by a cataclysmic event from pre-pre-historic times may seem daunting. Each "world" within this universe utilizes the magic system differently, yet the fundamental principles remain consistent. The methods and achievements vary as much of the knowledge has been lost to time. To them, their forebears were the sole survivors of the disaster, and what was lost is considered irretrievable.
Before you advise against it, it's too late! I'm interested in reading stories where a calamity occurs, and the survivors think they are the only ones left. I want to see how they manage to repopulate in various unrelated narratives.
Here is some of what I have.

1. Ascension: achieving a potential beyond the ordinary or ascending to a superior state of being. Potential side effects are enhanced strength, increased longevity, perpetual or extended youth, an improved and more resilient body to manage one's mystical energy [a term yet to be determined], an apparently infinite source of this energy, and the ability to resurrect, likely remaining as a bound spirit.

Essentially, it's an expansion of the mystical energy reserve, coupled with an enhancement.

1. Matter Manipulation: This ability allows one to create anything they desire from the materials around them, also known as their domain. Side effects might include excessive creativity, intense focus on creation, and a sense of apathy (though this is more of a humorous aside I'll clarify later). It enables manipulation beyond mere materials, limited to their domain, akin to "magic" forging similar to that of a mystical blacksmith, and the temporary alteration of physics.

In envisioning this concept, I imagine a realistic version of The Lego Movie. In narratives where this power is evident, many individuals who possess it believe they are superior to others because they can erect structures instantly, thinking the world should cater to them. While not all are this extreme, it's a prevalent attitude. Unfortunately, those who oppose this mindset are often overshadowed. Moreover, there are those without this power who must helplessly observe as their possessions are commandeered to construct something without their consent. It creates quite a chaotic situation.

1. Aura/Psychic/Magic Powers: These are abilities derived from their source of origin. Note: Superpowers differ as they originate from another source [words omitted].

a). Aura: Powers harnessed from the "body".
b). Psychic: Powers harnessed from the "mind".
c). Magic: Powers harnessed from the "heart/soul".
To clarify, one requires mental strength to wield such powers, another demands "spiritual" strength—not religious faith, but rather a form of inner belief—to harness them, and the last involves a non-physical form of strength. As for Bending in Avatar, it may be similar to these concepts.
Before I proceed, I'd like to clarify this: it's not just psychics who can "see" into the future, past, or other realms—there are various means for this perception. The Aura/Body sense is akin to a "gut" feeling, a tangible presence one can sense around them. The Psychic/Mind sense is like a persistent "thought" in the back of your mind, perceiving things that aren't present but somehow resonate as true [distinct from mental illness, it's important to note]. Magic/Spirit is the "belief" in a reality that has either already occurred or is destined to happen. I hope this explanation is clear, as I'm starting to lose myself in my own explanation.
Moving on.

1. Superpowers: A genetic mutation where the "magic" cores are integrated with the body, whether naturally or artificially. It is possible to possess a "magic" core.

While Marvel and DC might be the first to come to mind, my thoughts lean more towards Pokémon and characters like Sonic or Shadow the Hedgehog. Although it may not strictly qualify as Magic, I'll include it here nonetheless.

1. Crystals: These are solid manifestations of raw "magical" energy. As a forgotten technique, they can serve as a power source for technology, though it is highly perilous, and no one has managed to harness it without catastrophic outcomes. Their primary use is as a power source for "magical" artifacts, such as staves and wands, or as a source of light for those with evident energy.

In truth, I am aware of only one series—my stories invariably form series—known as a "world," that possesses Crystallizing Farms. I am uncertain if other "worlds" contain them. Moreover, there is at least one individual who has discovered how to safely utilize the crystals as a technological power source, but this remains a concealed aspect of the narrative, unknown until its revelation.

1. Mini-Deities: These entities are purely magical. Most are bound to a conduit that allows mortals to harness their powers. Each deity possesses distinct domains and abilities. The more prevalent ones belong to a specific "set" with which they are associated. They modify their mortal "partner" to ensure optimal use of their powers.

There are strict rules: the "master" or "partner" must be at least a pre-teen but no older than 21 or a young adult for initial or prolonged use. If too old, the individual's body and mind would reject the changes, leading to a gradual demise. If too young, the individual's self-identity and sense of responsibility would be lost, rendering them a puppet to the powers and to any who are manipulative enough to exploit them. While a child may possess the maturity to manage the power, it is advised not to wear the conduit full-time until reaching at least pre-teen age for mental stability. An adult can utilize the powers long-term if they are physically fit, but it is recommended not to wear the conduit continuously as it could debilitate the body.
I realize this is complex, but this explanation is as clear as possible.

1. The dichotomy of Artificial [Technological] versus Biological [Magical] can be exemplified by robots and golems. While it may not be magic in the traditional sense, it is a significant element of the system, and everything mentioned previously encompasses both aspects. Apologies if this is confusing; it's a complex topic for me as well.

I believe that covers all the types of magic. Next, let's delve into the "sub-typing" of magics! Apologies for my word choice.
This section may not be as refined as the previous one, but I will endeavor to articulate my thoughts and the reasoning behind them as clearly as possible.
Earth, Being, Water, Ice, Air, Lightning/Electricity/Energy/Plasma, Fire, Rock - this sequence represents my latest concept, which is presently occupying my thoughts. Originally conceived for a distinct magic system in an unrelated story or series, I found it compelling enough to incorporate into this system. While it's not the sole "sub-system" nor is it flawless, I am fond of it and wish to develop it further.
Earth encompasses sand, dirt, mud, soil, essentially the surface layer of the planet. It's associated with super-strength for a reason.
Beings include animals, plants, fungi, and all entities considered alive. This category might evolve, but currently, it's where abilities like plant manipulation and animal communication are categorized.
Water is solely about controlling and manipulating water. It excludes "Blood-bending" (which falls under Beings) and "Ice-Bending" (which is categorized under Ice), focusing only on water.
Ice involves the creation of ice and the manipulation of temperatures towards the colder spectrum. Note: it's limited to cooling, without the capacity to increase temperatures.
Air allows for the generation of winds varying in intensity (from a gentle breeze to a powerful twister), the control of clouds and storms (including cloud-walking, and the generation of rain, hail, snow, and lightning), and flight via air currents. Note: there are multiple methods to achieve flight; more will be discussed later.
Lightning/Electricity/Energy/Plasma pertains to the creation and manipulation of these elements, potentially extending to the creation of force fields.
Fire is about generating flames and increasing heat (as opposed to reducing heat, which is the domain of Ice), and that's the extent of it.
Rock covers the manipulation of lava (considered liquid rock), minerals such as salt, and various ores and metals. The inclusion of Glass and Plastic is uncertain since their creation is heavily reliant on Fire.
While technically related to Earth, there are additional elements to explore, though they may not be as developed as the aforementioned. It's important to note that Earth, Water, Air, and Fire possess healing properties: Fire purges toxins and diseases, Air stabilizes breathing, Water cleanses toxins from the body, and Earth repairs physical damage. Water may also aid in regeneration.
Moving on to powers that my characters most likely possess:
Poison/Venom/Toxin: I was uncertain whether to categorize it under Being, Earth, Water, Air, or Fire (though Fire seems unlikely), or if they are distinct from each other. Therefore, I've placed them in their own category.
Light-Dark: Since they negate each other, they're grouped together! I'm considering adding sight and illusion as potential powers in this category.
Gravity: This includes flight, which, while achieving similar outcomes, differs in method from Air. Controlling gravity in one's vicinity is possible, but it demands a significant amount of stamina (self-flight doesn't consume much energy, depending on the alteration of natural gravitational forces). I view this as a power, not a magical element.
Sound: I was unsure where to classify this. Air was a consideration, but sound consists of vibrations, not breaths.
Shape-Shifting: The placement of this is ambiguous due to the various types of shape-shifting. Transforming into animals is widespread, and I believe morphing into other people is also valid. Whether transforming into objects (like a cup, printer, or car) is equivalent or distinct is still in question.
Spirit/Ghost/Phantom: These are not exactly powers, but I do have creatures inspired by Pokémon, and there are persistent spirits/energies, so... I've also included Death as a domain.
Regarding Pokémon, I plan to try a different system which I will discuss in a future post.
I believe this covers everything... no, I'm aware there are some details I'm overlooking, but they elude me at the moment. After writing for two hours, it's time for a break.
Could you assist me in understanding the mechanics of this system? I am receptive to ideas and discussions.