School absence letter for family vacation

Resource for siblings and children of people with mental illnesses

2016.01.05 10:31 algaliarepted Resource for siblings and children of people with mental illnesses

The impact of mental illness on a family can be devastating for everyone involved, making it all the more problematic that the siblings and children of mentally ill family members typically do not receive any support to help them cope. These siblings and children experience unique challenges and adverse consequences that research shows extends into their adult lives in multiple forms.
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2014.03.14 06:31 billiegoad You got this.

/divorce_men addresses the unique challenges facing men during divorce - from custody to assets, finances, attorneys and social issues. This sub is not pro-divorce, anti-women, anti-marriage, or anti-family. This sub is not a substitute for legal representation or psychological treatment.
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2020.05.24 22:10 R3dbeardLFC American Sign Language Homework Help

ASL Help subreddit specific for help with homework/studying the language.
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2024.05.19 14:23 EnoughMembership408 I need help

I feel profoundly lost. After dedicating five years to pursuing my RN degree, I was dismissed due to my grades in the final course. Despite completing two exit exams, I failed to pass one. I initially enrolled in an accelerated BSN program but found it too demanding and switched to an ASN program instead. Now, I am left without a degree despite extensive experience and countless sleepless nights. While studying, I worked various jobs, but now I am uncertain about what positions I might qualify for without a college degree. I feel trapped in a difficult situation with no clear path forward. No one ever talks about the people who didn't make it. I finished all my prerequisites and reached my last nursing class but didn't make it through. I feel depressed, annoyed, and dumb. I don't know how to feel anymore. I am unsure if I want to spend another two or three years of my life pursuing a different degree, especially since I have a family to take care of. I have been stuck in this nursing school mode for five years.
submitted by EnoughMembership408 to u/EnoughMembership408 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:21 Unusual_Resource6642 I told my friend to forget about his on/off gf and her abusive rich fling, AITA?

Throwaway
I (M19) have been friends with this guy I'll call Eric (M20) for the past 2 years. We met in the fall of 2022 since we were in the same dorm at uni. Eric's is great and most people like him. Back around February/March of 2023, he started a relationship with a girl called Mia (F19). Now Mia seemed off to myself and some of my other friends, she gave off emo vibes and just seemed like a really sarcastic and rather condescending person. She didn't like us to say the least, and for whatever reason disliked me the most.
Eric would later tell us that Mia had a lot of trauma since her dad was abusive towards her and her mother and her last bf was also abusive. Because of all this, she was getting a lot of mental health treatment throughout her teen years. This was kinda an eye-opener for me and I felt terrible about judging her, so I was always very nice to her from that point onwards.
Around November of last year, Mia started seeing this other guy in our year I'll call Martin (M19). She and Eric were fighting a lot around this time and I guess she wanted out. Now Martin doesn't have a great rep at our school. His parents are very wealthy, i.e., they make enough money to cover his whole tuition in just a few days of working. He lives in a luxury apartment his parents own off-campus and drives an AMG to class every day. I'm sure you get the idea. Because of this, he's spoiled rotten and goes through girls quickly.
When Mia started a relationship with Martin in December, he became abusive pretty quickly and at some point made her call Eric crying. Eric was furious about this and one thing led to another, and Eric ended up getting jumped and beaten pretty badly by some of Martin's friends. Mia would then kinda of yo-yo herself between relationships with Eric for a short time, and then some other guys. I guess you could say she's the kinda of person who always needs to be in a relationship, which according to Eric is a result of her abusive father.
About a month ago, Mia went back to Martin after her relationship with one rando fell apart. A few days ago she called Eric again crying because Martin had made her upset or something. According to Eric, he also abandoned her downtown at 2 am a few days before that.
Eric is very stressed about this and wants to do something. Though, despite how terrible Mia's situation is, I don't think he can realistically do anything and I told him as much. I told him that for his own sake, I'd recommend he start forgetting about Mia and Martin. This did upset Eric and some of our other friends.
Since Martin has a wealthy family, involving the police wouldn't do anything. He got himself involved in something pretty bad earlier this year and cops were called, but since his parents are rich the entire situation got swept under the rug pretty quickly.
AITA?
submitted by Unusual_Resource6642 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:21 Key_Back3454 I(20m) want to solve trust issues with my gf(19f), and want to make equation better between us. How to approach this?

I trust her verry much! but sometimes she makes me question.
First of all you need to know some backstories, I'll try to keep this short.
1st Her past trauma So she had a toxic ex(18m not sure) she met him in 11th, He didn't treat her well and used to touch her inappropriately even when she said this makes her uncomfortable etc... But One day she was home alone and She told her that she is feeling bored and That guy suggested to watch movie together at her home! firtsly she didn't knew that He knew her address, She refused but after sometime that guy called her and Said he is standing out side her home! She didn't wanted but he instead and she end up letting him in. Than after some time that guy forced her and started tooking off her clothes and SA'd her She was scared and froze and couldn't able to do any thing to stop what happening and after some time when she came back to her senses She kicked him and that guy ran away! I don't know clearly about how her relationship was and when she brokeup or how long was this relationship with him, It's hard for her to recall things about that guy and I don't want to hurt her She never shared these things with anyone. It is really hard for her Whatever happened was traumatic and she is suffering from PTSD bcuz of that incident. And made her fear from physical touch even with her siblings or friends (As she said)
2nd About us. Let's say for now She lives in Kolkata and I live in Delhi So she came to Delhi to her Grandmother's home for some some exams in school! and we met there ( whole story is different and not necessary but we met in school through school exams) and We connected very quick It felt like we are made for each other our opinion preferences all are pretty much same, After 1 month of talking we are decided to commit each other and be in relationship on 2nd march!! and after some time we met and Kissed, Huged but no sexual stuffs, She said she feels safe with me and likes my physical touch and PTSD never triggers. And as of now she went back to her home Kolkata and we are in long distance.
3rd I tried helping her with trauma and that turned out bad. So once her Ex's guy friend tried to contact him and asked her if She is going to take offline test at her coaching or not, Her ex also studies their and gonna be there on that test day! She don't want to go there bcuz of him, And Her ex also contacted her but she blocked him immediately but those things made me feel bad for her and I wanted to help her, I suggested her for therapy but She got mad me for that, and after some research I tried help her my self but that also triggered her I tried several time but every time we get into argument. She told me She regrets sharing this to me and I always scratch those wounds! that hurted me very badly. I don't have any interest knowing her past or about her ex instead I want to help her with this requires some questioning and that's the problem! but from that day I promised her I'll never bring this topic ever again and let her heal by herself
4th My Problems So what bothers me is that when sometimes while she was telling me about her past some thing didn't makes sense and contradicting statements this feels like she don't want to tell me the truth and when I questioned her She told me to ask these from her sister angerly and when I asked her sister self stuff She told me that I don't trust her etc... but this makes me question what's the truth why she is not sharing, and most what bother me the most is that she misunderstands me that I have more interest in her past then our future. So bcuz of this I was hurt and decided to emotionally distant myself for a bit cuz this was bothering my studies and personal life and was unable to share my feelings to her and I told her this last week and again she got hurt and made more trust-issues between us
Those was some backstory now comes the current situation!
Her grandmothe's renter let's name him dogshit(not sure about age but he's below her age) for now, he lives in the same building So dogshit msged her on insta tomorrow that he's unable to move on! So my gf told me about this today that When she faced panic attack 3 times when she was at her grandmother's home, 1st time when her family found out about her ex 2nd when she was sharing about her past to me 3rd time when again cuz of family but this time she went to the Terrace and was crying there and that dogshit came and asked her what happened, but that time she hugged him and started crying more etc... I don't know all about what happened but she told me this And now that dogshit is msging her saying he is unable to move on etc... She sees him like a brother but idk what's in that guy's mind. She felt guilty what she did and unable to share about that to me about this. We are very transparent about every thing btw.
This thing hurted me again but I know that sometime you feel emotionally overwhelmed and do some stuffs that makes you regret. I want to let this go.
But how should I approach this situation? What should I do?
submitted by Key_Back3454 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:19 Anonymous2680 I hate my skin

I fucking hate my skin. All of it. I fucking hate how fat and ugly I am. I hate how I keep gaining weight. We don’t have the money or time for a sport outside of school, and we don’t really have the money for a gym membership. Even if we did have the money, I’d be way too fucking embarrassed to go. Just because gym people don’t say shit to your face or out loud, I know they would judge me. ESPECIALLY the people my age that actually go to the gym regularly and do something with their lives.
I’ve been trying to do small exercises at night, but I’m such a weak fat fuck. I fucking hate myself. I wish I would just get off my lazy ass every once in a while and do something. But it feels like I’m already too far gone and that going out for a walk or jog would be too embarrassing for me. I’m too embarrassed to even do it in the house. I can’t do it in front of my family cause they would probably laugh at me or my shit form. I fucking hate my body and I wish I never got this fat.
Baggy clothes make me look fatter, fitting clothes show how fat I am, and I just can’t leave myself alone about it. It’s been probably two years since I’ve felt genuinely so self conscious about my body. I was finally gaining confidence in myself, living life saying ‘hey, I’m a bit chubby but whatever, my life is perfect anyways’
But here I am crying again, just like I always used to, because of how much I hate myself and my stupid pathetic choices. I’m only getting uglier and fatter
Even friends and family make small comments about it, it’s just that nobody’s going to straight up tell a girl she’s a fat fuck. I’m glad they haven’t, and I deserve to be shamed, maybe that would help motivate me to get off my ass and actually do something useful.
I just want to get rid of all my skin and throw it away. I never wanna look at it again.
submitted by Anonymous2680 to Vent [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:17 rebelliousgas I (F39) and my fiancé (F30) are struggling due to MIL and childhood traumas. Help? PLEASE.

I (F30) have been with my fiancé (F30) for four years now, we’ve known each other for 14 years throughout high school and even dated a bit back then but we rekindled during covid.
I’ve never been more sure about someone in my life. And it felt reciprocated until recently.
My fiancé has had a really rough childhood. Narsacistic parents who gaslight and guilt her up until this day. Mainly her mother since her father isn’t around much they talk about once a year so this relationship doesn’t impact her much. But her relationship with her mom is something i don’t understand. Examples are, her mother will ask her if she can use her credit cards, and has put her under the rent lease, FPL, and has completely wrecked her credit. She has abusive partners and expects my fiancé to go run out the door and save her basically whenever something escalates (my partner will run out the door at even at 3 AM to go help).
I question this behavior but she tells me she feels her mother is her child basically and she’s upset with her but feels if she doesn’t go her mom will be upset with her and that will give her immense anxiety and guilt for being a “bad daughter” and that this will temporarily keep the peace. I personally don’t understand this, and i explain to her to place some boundaries with her and that i think that’d be good for her in the long run.
She agrees her mother is not well but since she’s the only one she speaks to she needs to be there for here. (All family and friends have distanced themselves) the last straw for them was when she falsely stated that my fiancé has brain cancer. (This is one scenario of many). Her mom would also tell her not to go to school to help her with work instead. She’d have her little boyfriends pick her up from school because she’d be too busy working. When we got together she’d been sick a few times and i h took her to the hospital but when i would pull up to her house her mom would have alligator tears yelling “ my poor daughter!! Omg she feels bad can you take her tho I’m working?” Or this one time when my girl got in a car accident and felt as if glass were in her stomach and her mom said “when you coming home? There’s a lot of work we need to catch up on”. Or when her mom rented out a room to a drug addict who would steal their medicine and my girlfriend had to leave her house and lock her room with an external lock so these degenerates don’t enter her room again to steal her medications. And when we moved out she has made it clear that she would need to pay rent for a room. (I’m not used to this and i don’t understand that) Or when her mom texts her a long text saying in all the ways she’s “been a mother” to her and she can’t sign a mortgage for her is so terrible. This one was my last straw. I’m tired of seeing my girl emotionally drained and crying about this.
This behavior worries me a lot, i want to support her but i wonder if and when we have a family, will you just up and leave the moment your mom calls with a situation she brought onto herself? These situations are frequent and I’m getting to a point where I’m becoming very frustrated yet want to be a supportive partner. I’m feeling exhausted..
I sat down with my partner and express how unhappy i felt and she expressed she’s unhappy too. She understands entirely where I’m coming from but says putting boundaries with her mom is something she can’t do, that the guilt will take over and she hopes to improve the relationship with her. Every phone call they have causes her to sit and disassociate, it’s affecting her bad.
I know my girl is feeling resentment towards me because i want to distance ourselves from her mother, she is going to completely ruin my partners life, she’s already wrecked her mental and emotional health, as well as physically. She has fibromyalgia her whole life, up until we moved out together a year ago. I don’t allow her mom to come into our home and i don’t want to speak to her at all. I’ll send her a gif via text for some holidays and that’s about the extent of my communication with her, which feels like a lot already.
So overall, I’m here seeking advice because our relationship is on the verge of disappearing due to this. I adore this girl. I want to protect her from this situation but she needs to want to protect herself too. She’s starting therapy now. But what can i do during this time to support her but not give in to her mother?
submitted by rebelliousgas to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:16 mSonnino [Tag Heuer F1]Just received this very sentimental gift

[Tag Heuer F1]Just received this very sentimental gift
Thought I’d share the story of this watch.
My father and his brother (my uncle) used to be great F1 / MotoGP fans (and so am I), I guess it runs in the Italian genes. They were also great watches enthusiasts.
During the late 80s early 90s when the original Tag F1 came out they were still in their 20s and couldn’t really afford it, but this really bacame their dream watch.
In 1993, the year I was born, my father was killed during service. This was of course very difficult for everyone but especially so to my uncle since they were only 1 year apart in age and were always best friends.
So a few years after my father’s death my uncle decided to “just go for it” and buy the watch for himself, and also as a kind of a tribute in memory of my dad…
A few days ago I was talking to my uncle, showing him the new tag x keith collaboration, and I told him how much I like these old school and iconic looks and how cool I think they are… then yesterday we met again and he just gave me his watch!
I think everyone here appreciates a good watch, but when you receive something like this, with a real story and family history behind it, it’s always so much more special.
This is definitely a gift I will cherish forever.
submitted by mSonnino to Watches [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:15 Fresh_Wheat Advice Needed: Pros and Cons of Doing a Master's Degree at the Same School as My Undergrad

Hi everyone,
I'm seeking advice on whether to pursue a master's degree at the same university where I completed my undergraduate studies. I've heard mixed opinions, and I'd like to get more perspectives on this.
Background:
Questions:
  1. What are the pros and cons of staying at the same school for a master's degree?
    • I appreciate the familiarity and existing relationships with the faculty.
    • I'm curious if staying might limit my exposure to new ideas or opportunities compared to studying elsewhere.
  2. If I apply to my alma mater, can I ask for letters of recommendation from professors in the department?
    • One of my favorite professors, who is also the director of graduate studies, would be an ideal person to ask. Is this common practice or could it be seen as a conflict of interest?
Any insights or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance for your help!
submitted by Fresh_Wheat to GradSchool [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:14 Tsinasaur I want to move

I (31F) live on the East Coast. I just graduated with my BS in business administration. I come from a poor and very religious family, and I want to go to graduate school for data science and/or get a job somewhere new and warmer, like Houston, Ft. Lauderdale, or Sacramento. Unfortunately, the fall term applications are already closed, so I may not be able to attend now. I considered doing an online university, like USC’s accelerated Master’s, and finding a job there. But I also really want to experience grad school physically because I attended an online U for my BS.
However, I can’t help but wonder if it’s too risky, expensive, I feel more isolated, or hate it?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏽💖
submitted by Tsinasaur to college [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:13 cobainkee Cost of Living in Bucharest Romania

Hello everyone, I'm being offered by my current company to relocate permanently from Philippines to Bucharest. I work in finance, and they're offering me around 2K euro net of tax/social contr per month of paycheck, + xxx ron worth of flexible benefits monthly where i can use it for my misc expenses. The company will shoulder the relocation expenses for my family as well, wife, and 2 kids (1 toddler, 1 grade schooler). For 1-2 years, my wife will fully take care of our child, so I will be the sole income earner in the family. I heard that private schools, especially international schools there are pretty expensive, so we decided that our daughter will enroll in public school. In terms of learning the language, the company offered us to have 100hrs per person subsidized training, either in language schools or private tutors. Also, in terms of apartment hunting, there will be a real estate agency that will help us find a suitable 2-bedroom apartment in city center or at least near the city center where we have close proximity to public schools, parks, subways, markets, and hospitals. the company will also give us relocation allowances to help us have a fresh start there in Bucharest.
so, these past days, we've been estimating the monthly cost of living there. so i would like to get your thoughts how realistic it is. Also, I've heard that sector 1, and sector 3 are good neighborhoods, but I'm not sure if there are public schools there. which locations can you recommend where they are lots of public schools, and near subways? Our office is located in business park somewhere in Floreasca. So to put everything into perspective, apart from the fact that I liked the role being offered and I think in EU I might have more opportunities than in PH, one factor before accepting the offer is whether can support my family there in Bucharest. As a Asian family, we tend to be excited to move to EU, but just to make sure if this great leap is worth it.
rent (2 bedroom apartment) - 500-600 euro
wifi + cable - 15 euro
electricity/gas - 100 euro
watemaintenance - 60 euro
mobile internet - 9 euro * 3 phones = 27 euro
transportation (combination of metro, bus, taxi, uber, etc) - 50 euro
eat out - 50 euro
groceries ( food, toiletries, infant milk) - 600 euro
clothing - 50 euro
total = approximately 1,500 euros
submitted by cobainkee to phmigrate [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:12 jam48cook Frustrated with agent

TL/DR: agent doesn’t communicate with us, advocate for us, we are under contract and don’t know what to do….
My family’s home is currently under contract. Our realtor has gone on extended travel 3 times this past month(once since we went under contract). They have not warned us of this and have not had a POC for the absence and communication has been very sparse to non-existent.
Since going under contract last week, the communication, lack thereof, from our realtor has been rather frustrating. We have not received any email from the transaction coordinator for what the process looks like. We have asked for details on inspection timelines, what to expect, etc, and have only received vague texts, and messages as if we are stupid and the emails have been sent(they haven’t). We’ve tried to call, we’ve asked them to call, but on Instagram, we can see they are having a fabulous vacation.
Through forwarded texts from our agent during this time, the buyers have asked us to leave several furnishings behind for free, we of course said no and gave them the option to buy them instead. They persisted on some other items for us to just leave. We told our realtor these requests were making us uncomfortable and concerned saying no to leaving our stuff for free might impact the sale of the home. We provided a list of items we are willing to sell, and if the buyers want furnishings, refer to the list, everything else goes. We asked our realtor to take over if anything else is requested to say no. She hasn’t and on 2 occasions, texted us saying buyers requested such and such items. This has my wife and I paranoid the buyers will pull out of the contract.
Our realtor has further texted us saying, “it’s normal to leave items (expensive) behind for free” uh, WHAT??? Aren’t agents supposed to advocate for their clients? And if it’s normal in this state, why was that not addressed when going over inclusions and exclusions prior to listing? We do not feel like our agent is advocating on our behalf at all. We were super impressed during our pitch meeting and had high hopes.
Sorry if this feels scrambled. We are scrambled and anxious. We have never had to deal with an agent with this lack of communication. What do we do? How do we tread lightly to not piss our agent off, but feel reassured through this process?
I will humbly shut up if I’m being too dramatic about this. Thanks and sorry for the long post.
submitted by jam48cook to RealEstate [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:11 gijuts One step forward, two steps back

I've been working on a game. This is to feel a sense of achievement, and to hopefully to be able to get things for my daughter -- school and support, and maybe our first day trip.
I released it around two weeks ago. Based on feedback, I started to add group play to play with friends. On Thursday, I finished chat and just needed to test team play before working on Marketing early next week.
Thursday night, a tornado came through my neighborhood in Houston. 1/3 of my fence got knocked down, my HVAC got crushed, my tree got shorn, and my generator got damaged and has an oil leak.
I was responsible and got homeowners insurance. But because I have it, I can't get FEMA aid unless I appeal and show what my insurance won't pay. That'll be another week. I have a high deductible so that's a given to pay. And of course, I want to help my parents where I can.
But that aside, I have to work on setting up repairs because we have a heat wave next week and hurricane season in 2 weeks, and that'll eat into the extra time for working on my game.
I'm soldiering on and am trying to be strong for my family. But as I sit here detailing stuff, I can't help but cry. There's lways something at the 10 yard line. But thank God it wasn't worse, and I'll make this work somehow.
Thanks for listening.
submitted by gijuts to Vent [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:10 Whole_Context_1650 Alcoholic mom

My(23f) mom(60) is drinking so heavily again. She’s had a problem ever since I can remember. She kept me out of school a lot when I was younger cause she stayed in bed all day. I remember her talking about getting letters about it. There was a couple times she didn’t come for me after school and I just waited by myself outside the school not understanding why. When I was 9, 5 of my aunts came to the house and had an intervention for her in front of me- which I’m realising now was a horrible idea.
I feel like I missed out on so many crucial parts of school and when this happens it’s so so hard to catch up. So my school work suffered. No one made me do homework so I didn’t. Then I left school at 15/16 with so many fucking issues. I fought with her all the time. I begged her to stop drinking all the time. I acted out and used to run away from home and go drinking and taking drugs with older men. I went to live with my dad and things got better, even when I went back to moms things were better. She met a lovely sober man and things felt so good.
I have so much guilt for years about the way I treated her when I was younger, the abuse I used to scream at her and the stress I put her through when I wouldn’t come back for days and I blame myself sometimes for making her drinking worse. I don’t know if she ever fully stopped drinking, just cut down a lot maybe. It got to the point where I would just ignore it for my own mental health. At least she was still getting up and going to work right? I’m back living at home now for the last year and it’s bad again. She gets up at 5am and drinks wine in the morning out of a mug as if me and my stepdad will think it’s tea. And then she goes to bed all day and drinks in her room. She’s taken illness leave off work for the next couple weeks. It’s affecting my stepdad now. He’s been sober for 10 years. He told me he’s upset and if it doesn’t stop he’s going to have to leave. And suddenly I feel like a child again with all this responsibility to save her. I’m just so fucking angry and upset, why can’t she just get it together. It’s so selfish but I could’ve been something so much more if I didn’t have the childhood I did. I feel like I’m so far behind in life. I have an older brother who moved out when I was a child and he seems so happy. I was never abused but it still affected me so much. I have literally no idea what to do. Im scared to move out im scared to move country or go travelling in case something happens to her. Beneath the addiction she is the most lovely caring person and I feel so bad even opening up about it. If anyone made it this far thank you just needed to get that off my chest
submitted by Whole_Context_1650 to venting [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:09 --TheSkyLord-- My Experience with Missions

I had a strange relationship with deconstruction as my dad was trained at a university level to do apologetics. He was an LDS chaplain in the Army, and every night for scripture study, we got discourses on the nuances of our faith and justifications for every question we ever had. I didn’t swear until I was 18 years old, or drink caffinated anything until about that time as well, because it was never a matter of justification. It was what my family, my tribe, my people did, to go to church on Sunday, and to be worthy. I was senior patrol leader and assistant to the bishop if that clarifies who I was. I didn’t have “God will reveal it in due time” parents. I had “Here’s the answer, here’s contemporary discussion about it. Here’s some reading material if you want to learn more” parents, except for they were wicked smart, and had biased conclusions.
I was called to serve in the Mexico City East mission. Shortly before opening my mission call, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. i left BYU-I and went home to prepare. I received my endowments after lying to my stake president about my worthiness to enter the house of the lord. I came clean, and he threatened to not let me go out for a year because I was unclean. The prick made me talk to a therapist to be cleared for the mission field. The therapist had a brain and let me go out. When I was giving my mission farewell speech, I wrote it to include the teachings of many religions in it. I had drawn inspiration from the 13th article of faith “We believe all things, hope all things-“ and wrote a poem about how Adam and Eve related to the Resurection and Atonement of christ. My dad tells me the stake president was shifting in his seat like he wanted to pull me down from the pulpit. Prick.
The CCM was a pleasure to attend because of my district. The guys in my district there held a secret thanksgiving feast after hours when we were supposed to be in bed with food we had smuggled out of the cafeteria. We had look outs so we wouldn’t be caught by the patrolling teachers. My district was placed under surveillance because of politics against our spanish teacher who we could tell actually cared about us, and we were transferred into a classroom with one sided mirrors, and microphones hanging from the ceiling. An apostle came to speak to the entire CCM, and I thought we would get a chance to meet with him directly, or that he would be even remotely accessible in some way. He was kept away from us, separate and removed even though we had the same mission. I played a lot of volley ball, and got into shape enough that I touched the rim of a basketball hoop for the first time while I was there.
My first companion was a native speaker, and liked to spend the mornings in the cyber (Internet Cafe). He would make sure I was on LDS.org while he looked at softcore porn on instagram. We would spend hours there, and I was disappointed that this was the mission.
We went to a previous investigators house, and while there, we saw preparations for an animal sacrifice. These guys were putting alcohol, cocaine, and blowing smoke onto a white chicken, and placed in into a cardboard box with a bunch of black chickens. They showed us a room full of weapons, with blood and feathers strewn all over the floor. We noped the fuck out, and went home.
I requested an emergency transfer after spending most days in the cyber, watching my companion deface JW’s property, and being an all around dick to me by telling me how to shower and how to sleep.
For his replacement, the person that would help me with his bastion of knowledge, they gave me a white guy who spoke as much Spanish as I did because he was only a transfer further into his mission than me. They made this poor kid senior companion to me before his first transfer was over. Why? Because the kid was a workaholic.
The first thing this elder and I did when we got to our apartment was to pick up and leave to go to the house of a member who had just died. We sang at the wake. I sang in a language I didn’t know, for people I didn’t know, with a companion I didn’t know. We sounded pretty damn good. The elder began setting appointments with the non-believing family members during the service. I just sat and watched the mindless kids chase the family dog.
This elder skipped lunch every day, and made me do the same. We knocked every door in our area twice that transfer. One time, he got very sick, and was delirious out in the sun with me while we were walking. I made us go home for lunch that day, and he made me promise to wake him up after thirty minutes so we could get back to the Lord’s work. Three hours later he woke up, chewed me out for letting him sleep that long, and then begrudgingly thanked me for making him rest.
One time, while walking, this Elder expressed to me that he also had some questions, but he was afraid to share the details because he knew my own testimony was fragile. I pressed him for details of his plight, and he revealed to me the darkest part of church history that he had learned while we were in the CCM, that Joseph Smith had drank alcohol while in Carthage Jail before he died. Thoughts of Fanny Alger, of Mountain Meadows Massacre, and of my own mother’s rather recently implemented looser interpretation of the word of wisdom all flashed through my head. This guy was supposed to be my teacher? All I could do was express how sorry I was for his confusion, and told him to have faith. Heaven knew I couldn’t help him.
One night with this companion, it was storming hard, and the streets were flooded. This guy refused to let us go home. We climbed along fences to avoid getting our already wet shoes soaked, and waded through a foot of water to get to the doors that were slammed in our faces. There was a loose wire on a door bell, and when I rang it, I was shocked by the completed circuit the water made. Rejection after rejection piled up. Finally, my “senior” companion said that this was the last row of houses. On the last house of the last row, there was a family that was all deaf. The father opened the door, and was suprised to see us and didn’t know who we were. I remembered the sign for Jesus from my grandparents who started and ran the ASL endowment ceremony in the Saint George temple. The family was thrilled we knew the sign. When I asked if we could come in, the family politely waved goodbye and closed the door on our faces.
Another time when it rained, something fell into my eye. It was one of those freak nature accidents, and small enough that I couldn’t figure out how to get it out without a mirror. The thing stayed wedged in the corner of my eye for hours before we got home and I could finally get the foreign object out. Looking at it on my finger, I could see it was a small green spider. Days later, still in pain, I pulled what I can only assume was accumulated webbing from the spider that I’d crushed against my eyeball off of my lower eye lid. The pain stopped after that.
I bought a $500 camera. It was stolen within a month.
This Elder and I had the good luck before transfers to baptize two children. They would have been baptized anyways, so I didn’t do any actual converting, but I taught a few lessons, got in the water and did the dunk. Bucket list item, check.
I didn’t have enough time for laundry on P-Day, so I’d wash my outfit and dry in on the radiator through the night. Transfers happen, and my new companion lied to our land lords about the electricity bill, paying it in full but not giving a reason as to why it was so high. I didn’t care anymore, I just needed something clean to wear, but these land lord had treated me and my previous companion well, better than the previous landlord who had stolen our cleaning supplies. I felt these people deserved honesty. My senior companion capitulated eventually, and he and I butted heads regularly after that on the morality of things. I think in hindsight he was a smarter and better man than I was.
The new land lords, the “Lagunez Family”, were wonderful. They included us in their activities, and I felt like I had some people in my corner. When I eventually came home from my mission, a daughter of the family had written me a goodbye letter. She is currently serving a mission. They made some great music, and I have “Infiltradors” on CD, the official name of the band the father of the family was a part of (he was the drummer).
I knew the whole area by heart by that point, so I navigated us to our appointments. Half of the landmarks I watched for to know our location were interesting buildings with unique colors. The other half of my landmarks were dead dogs whose decaying corpses had become second nature to see. I began marking how much time had passed by how deeply a certain dog on a certain dirt path’s chest was caved in.
There was an apartment complex in my area that I had been told not to proselytize in because “It’s dangerous.” Turns out, those people didn’t have any money, so the church didn’t want them. That complex was past the dog and to the east about ten blocks.
My companion and I knocked on a door, and visited a man who was missing his legs. His daughter was there, putting dirty water on the aching wounds. He had a single room for a house, and wheezed when he spoke. He couldn’t afford medication. He still went out and worked all day for his daughter, and gave her whatever money he made, trusting her to keep him alive somehow. The church expected this man to pay tithing. The church expected me to tell this man to pay tithing.
I got the chance to hike up a mountain. At the top, I played chess with a chess set I’d procured from one of the best rapid chess players I’ve ever met. He had been the ward mission leader. He was a good man, a good father, and I wish him the best.
I found another man who was deaf and spoke sign language. I sat with him, and convinced him to come to church all by myself while my companion talked with some tienda tender. I was so excited because this was my own personal project and it was going well. The man came to church, and I sat with him through sacrament meeting. In Sunday school (I can’t believe I did this), I accidentally drooled on the guy. I was just talking so he could read my lips, and I guess I forgot to swallow at some point because a dolup of spit landed on his arm. I apologized profusely, and he played it off, but I never saw that investigator again.
My companion and I knocked a door one day, and a man answered. He wore tattered clothes, and maggots were burrowing into and out of his feet. He muttered something about the stars, missing his wife, and he began to tear up. My eyes stung from the stench. The door closed. Somehow, I knew the man would be dead in a matter of weeks.
I had lost hope that I was doing anything worth while. I looked down on the Doc Martins that had stayed with me five months at this point. I was angry with myself for being so useless in the field, angry with the church for giving me leaders that didn’t listen to my needs or perspective, angry with my mom for drinking while I had to teach people that it was a sin, angry with my dad for giving me the skills and knowledge to justify anything, even pedophilia in the early days of the church, to the point where I could look someone in the eye, and knowing the kind of man Smith was, tell them he was a good man and a true prophet of God. Suddenly a man approached us. He said he recognized us as missionaries, and asked about our message. This never happened. People didn’t just come up to us unless they were crazy or dangerous. But this was a public place, and this guy was genuine. My companion talked to him, and gathered his story, but I was plotting something else. I was done with not caring about these people in a way that mattered. I was tired of walking in another man’s shoes, a man who wasn’t me, who believed different things than me. The chopped leg, the rotting dogs, the infested feet, it all swirled into a single thought in that moment.
What would Jesus do?
I walked over to the man, and in broken Spanish asked him to stand next to me. He did so, and I compared my shoe size to his foot. It was a perfect match. He protested, but I didn’t let him get a word in edge wise. I took off my shoes, put them on his dirty feet, and laced them up nice and tight. Those shoes had cost a ton, and had been meant to last the whole mission. All I had left at this point were my fancy dress shoes that gave my blisters back at the apartment. I didn’t care. I walked home in my socks that day, happy as a lark.
Covid-19 hit a month later. I was one of the few they brought home instead of quarantining. After having served only 6 months. I told God if he wanted me to stay home, he’d have to make them release me.
They released me. I think I was one of maybe a hundred missionaries that were released due to Covid. The church realized their mistake pretty soon after I was released. Once Covid infrastructure began to develop, they didn’t release any more. I guess I didn’t serve a full two years, but I did serve a full mission.
My brother served, and he nearly killed himself due to intense depression brought on by Covid quarantine and poor leadership (I’ve got a few mission president stories, but those are for another time).
I learned lying to someone’s face from my mission, and spent the rest of my time at BYU-I as “nuanced” until the last two years, over which the most epic hoe phase imaginable became my new mission. I spent those years terrified of getting a call from the honor code office.
I’m married now, with my degree irrevocably in my possession. I have friends and loved ones that are in the church and are working on their mission papers. I’m beginning to feel powerless again. I’m seeing the decay again, not on legs, feet, or dogs anymore, but in the souls of the people who the church raises to do their dirty volunteer work. I see them like the animal sacrifices I saw being prepared. I’m not sure what shoes I have left to give to those people that I know are going to be in pain.
My parents are out completely now. It was a long time coming, but they are out and so much happier. I’m working on building a new relationship with my family, one based off of the fact that we won’t be together forever, so we have to make the most of our time together now.
Happy Sunday guys, best of luck to you all. And most importantly, chupa la piña.
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2024.05.19 14:08 Yurii_S_Kh Monotheism, Part 3: Islam

Monotheism, Part 3: Islam
Islam: Origins
Jibril (Gabriel) appears before Mohammed, drawing
The religion of the Law, which for 15 centuries prepared the chosen people for the coming into the world of the its Savior, the Incarnate Lord Jesus Christ, preceded New Testament religion. According to the Holy Apostle Paul, "the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ" (Gal. 3:24). It was all in all only "a shadow of good things to come" (Heb. 10:1). When the Savior came into the world, Old Testament religion had fulfilled its purpose. Our Lord Jesus Christ revealed to us the mystery of the Heavenly Kingdom and established the New Covenant, which was foretold by the prophet Jeremiah. "Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord: But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people" (Jer. 31:31-33).
Man was redeemed from original sin and its consequences by the voluntary death on the Cross of Jesus Christ as Savior of the World. He entered into an entirely new period in terms of his relationship with God in comparison with the Old Testament: instead of the law, there was a free condition of sonship and grace. Man received new means for achieving the ideal set for him of moral perfection as a necessary condition for salvation.
Islam, having arisen in Arabia in the seventh century, appeared as the religion of the law six centuries after the God of the chosen people of the religion of the Law fulfilled its purpose.
The difference between the Old Testament religion of the Law and Islam is not only that the latter emerged more than two thousand years after God gave on Mount Sinai the Ten Commandments and other precepts that governed life for the chosen people. The most important difference is that the Law of Moses has a Divine source. The book of Exodus gives a narrative of the majestic Epiphany. "And Moses brought forth the people out of the camp to meet with God; and they stood at the nether part of the mount. And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the Lord descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly. And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and waxed louder and louder, Moses spake, and God answered him by a voice. And the Lord came down upon mount Sinai, on the top of the mount: and the Lord called Moses up to the top of the mount; and Moses went up" (Exod. 19:17-20).
The founder of Islam, however, did not have a Divine revelation.
How did Islam arise? We read about this in the Hadith “Al-Jamii al-Sahih”. A mysterious being began to visit Mohammed. He slept in a cave on the slope of Mount Hira. On the night of the 24th of the month of Ramadan in year 610 someone appeared to him in human form. This event is considered the beginning of Islam. This story about it is from the Sunnah: “[A]n angel appeared to him and bade him 'READ!' 'I am no reader!' Mohammed replied in great trepidation, whereon the angel shook him violently and again bade him read. This was repeated three times, when the angel uttered the five verses that commence the 96th chapter: 'READ! in the name of thy Lord, who did create—who did create man from congealed blood. READ! for thy Lord is the most generous.’” Mohammed puzzled over whether a demon or angel visited him. He confided his experiences in his wife Khadijah. I will introduce more of the story of Mohammed's biography, generally accepted by Muslims: “She said to the messenger of God, ‘O son of my uncle, are you able to tell me about your visitant, when he comes to you?’ He replied that he could, and she asked him to tell her when he came. So when Gabriel came to him, as he was wont the apostle said to Khadija, ‘This is Gabriel who has just come to me.’ ‘Get up, O son of my uncle,’ she said, ‘and sit by my left thigh.’ The apostle did so, and she said, ‘Can you see him?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. She said, ‘Then turn round and sit on my right thigh.’ He did so, and she said, ‘Can you see him?’ When he said that he could she asked him to move and sit in her lap. When he had done this she again asked if he could see him, and when he said yes, she disclosed her form and cast aside her veil while the apostle was sitting in her lap. Then she said, ‘Can you see him?’ And he replied, ‘No.’ She said, ‘O son of my uncle, rejoice and be of good heart, by God he is an angel and not a satan’” (Ibn Hisham, Biography of the Prophet Muhammad).
It is surprising how easily and, gently speaking, naively this question, which in the spiritual realm is a question of life or death, had been answered with the help of a woman. Before all else, an Angel is a bodiless being, and for his sight there are no actual barriers: one can see through even clothes. Clothes hide nudity only from the eyes of man. Even so, the body of man in and of itself is not something perverse or shameful. It is a creation of God. The lust of man is sinful as well as is carnal desire, but not the body. In paradise the progenitors were naked and were not ashamed (see Gen. 2:25). The nature of an Angel is inviolate. They are alien to passions of man. But if this was a demon, then he could easily resort to trickery. Knowing how they tested him, he especially would be able to take leave of himself, so that they would take him for an Angel.
The attitude of Islam towards the Bible
Islam emerged as something syncretic out of several sources: ancient Arabic cults, Judaism, Christianity, Hanifism (a pre-Islamic monotheistic movement in Arabia) and Mazdaism (an ancient Iranian religion). There is no doubt that the Old Testament holy books and the Gospel had an influence on the formation of Islam. In the Quran many people and events from biblical history are mentioned. However, these stories are presented completely arbitrarily and inaccurately.
According to the Quran, man was created from water. "It is He Who has created man from water: Then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for thy Lord has power (over all things)" (25:54). In another surah, it says: "Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood" (96:1-2). In another part it speaks about clay, "He created man from sounding clay like unto pottery" (55:14).
In contrast to the Bible, the Quran does not say that man was created in the image and likeness of God. This discrepancy is most profound. With God's image and likeness, man is summoned to commune directly with his Creator. He can become one with the Lord. This is not so in Islam.
The book of Genesis tells the story of how the entire family of the patriarch Noah (in Arabic, Nuh) was saved in the Ark. The Quran speaks about the death of Noah's son: "So the Ark floated with them on the waves (towering) like mountains, and Noah called out to his son, who had separated himself (from the rest): ‘O my son! Embark with us, and be not with the unbelievers!’ The son replied: ‘I will betake myself to some mountain: it will save me from the water.’ Noah said: ‘This day nothing can save, from the command of Allah, any but those on whom He hath mercy!’ And the waves came between them, and the son was among those overwhelmed in the Flood" (11:42-43). Another surah tells it somewhat differently: "(Remember) Noah, when he cried (to Us) aforetime: We listened to his (prayer) and delivered him and his family from great distress" (21:76).
There is no need to provide more examples. In the Quran, things are especially distorted when discussing New Testament events. Here the differences are purely fundamental. The Incarnation, the Crucifixion on Golgotha, and the Resurrection are all denied. Even the event of the Nativity of Christ, known to the whole world, is described very strangely. It is alleged that Maryam retreated to a faraway place and gave birth to a Son under palms (19:23). In this surah, called Maryam, She is called the "sister of Harun," i.e. Aaron. He indeed had a sister named Miriam, but she lived 15 centuries before the Nativity of Christ.
Probably due to so great a number of errors and distortions, many representatives of Islam, in order to escape from this quandary, allege that the modern Holy Scripture of Christians has been distorted (a circumstance known as tahrif). Immediately, the question arises: what evidence do they provide? There is no evidence. Characteristically, the view of Muslims toward the Bible has undergone significant change over the course of several centuries. Early Islamic writers such as al-Tabari and ar-Razi believed that the distortion comes down to tahrif bi'al ma'ni, i.e. the corruption of the meaning without changing the text. However, later authors such as Ibn Hazm and Al-Biruni introduced the idea of tahrif bi’al-lafz, i.e. the corruption of the text itself. At that, both of these positions have been preserved to the present day. Thus, the level of acceptance among Muslims of the Bible depends on one's understanding of tahrif. The very existence of these fundamentally different positions indicates that there is no concrete evidence.
It is impossible to ignore one interesting feature of the attitude that representatives of Islam have toward the Biblical text. In that they do not have their own "undistorted" biblical text, they cite our canonical text as undistorted. However, when they need to support a point, for example, negative examples from the life of Banu Isra'il (the children of Israel) with a reference to parts that do not conform to Islam, they proclaim the text to be distorted.
Muslims allege that the New Testament (Injil), which the Quran refers to positively, is not in fact the current four Gospels. We have already said that they do not provide any evidence. The falsehood of the accusation that Christians distorted the Scriptures stems from the internal inconsistencies of the very Islamic authors who wrote on this theme. According to the Quran, the New Testament was originally a true, sacred text. "And in their footsteps We sent Jesus the son of Mary, confirming the Law that had come before him: We sent him the Gospel: therein was guidance and light, and confirmation of the Law that had come before him: a guidance and an admonition to those who fear Allah" (5:46). In another section: "Say: ‘O People of the Book! ye have no ground to stand upon unless ye stand fast by the Law, the Gospel, and all the revelation that has come to you from your Lord.’ It is the revelation that cometh to thee from thy Lord, that increaseth in most of them their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy" (5:68). This excerpt clearly demonstrates that the Quran itself does not speak of the distorted Scripture, but about "rebellion and blasphemy" related to misunderstanding.
There is one part of the Quran (10:94) which is very problematic for Islamic commentators: "If thou wert in doubt as to what We have revealed unto thee, then ask those who have been reading the Book from before thee: the Truth hath indeed come to thee from thy Lord: so be in no wise of those in doubt." This ayat refers the Muslim "in doubt" to the authority of the biblical Holy Scripture. Abdul-Haqq writes: “The learned doctors of Islam are sadly embarrassed by this verse, referring the prophet as it does to the people of the Book who would solve his doubts” (Abdul-Haqq, A. A. (1980). Sharing Your Faith With A Muslim. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers. As cited in Geisler, N.L. (1999). Baker Encyclopedia of Christian Apologetics. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing Group). According to the logic of this verse, the biblical Scripture was undistorted in the 7th century at the time of the Quran's creation. Then one must recognize that the current text is also correct, since we use manuscripts written over several centuries prior to the Quran.
Textual criticism of the New Testament has achieved outstanding breakthroughs in the 20th century. Currently, there are over 2,328 manuscripts and manuscript fragments in Greek, coming to us from the first three centuries of Christianity. The most ancient New Testament manuscript, a part of the Gospel of John 18:31-33, 37-38, is the Rylands Library Papyrus P52, dated 117-138 in the era of the reign of emperor Hadrian. Adolf Deissmann acknowledges the possibility of the emergence of this papyrus even under the reign of Emperor Trajan (98-117). It is preserved in Manchester. Another ancient New Testament manuscript is the Papyrus Bodmer, P75. The 102 surviving pages contain the texts of the Gospels of Luke and John. "The editors, Victor Martin and Rodolphe Kasser, date this copy to between 175 and 225 A.D. It is thus the earliest surviving known copy of the Gospel according to Luke available today and one of the earliest of the Gospel according to John" (Bruce M. Metzger. The Text of the New Testament. p. 58). This precious manuscript is located in Geneva.
Uncial script on parchment: leather codices with uncial script, (in Latin uncia means inch) letters without sharp corners and broken lines. This script is distinguished by its great refinement and precision. Each letter is disconnected. There are 362 uncial manuscripts of the New Testament. The most ancient of these codices (Codex Sinaiticus, Vaticanus, and Alexandrinus) have already been mentioned.
Scholars complemented this impressive collection of ancient New Testament manuscripts with the New Testament text, which consisted of 36,286 excerpts of the Holy Scripture of the New Testament found in the works of the holy fathers and teachers of the Church from the first through fourth centuries. This text is lacking only 11 verses.
Scholars of textual criticism in the 20th century did a tremendous job on the collation of all—several thousands of—New Testament manuscripts and identified all textual discrepancies caused by scribal error. An evaluation and typologization was performed. Precise criteria for determining a correct variant were established. For those familiar with this rigorous scientific work, it is obvious that allegations of the distortion of the current holy text of the New Testament are unfounded. In terms of the number of ancient manuscripts and the brevity of time separating the earliest surviving text from the original, no one work of antiquity can be compared with the New Testament.
Accusations that the Bible's text is distorted are puzzling. How could it actually have been done? How could Christians and Hebrews have come together to do this? Everyone knows the degree of their mutual [doctrinal—Ed.] alienation. And yet both Christians and Jews use one and the same canonical text of the Old Testament. Furthermore, the entire New Testament was preserved in the Chester Beatty Papyri, composed in approximately 250 A.D.
It is inconceivable to accept that under the conditions that existed in Christian society, hundreds of exemplars of the New Testament text were miscopied for the purpose of distortion.
On the Monotheism of Islam
Historians and religious scholars regard the three "Abrahamic" religions, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, as monotheistic religions. For the researcher, the doctrinal principles that representatives of each of these three religions formulate are sufficient. However, on a theological level, the insufficiency of such a formal approach becomes clear. Monotheism is a necessary but not sufficient condition for true religion. Only a religion that has Divine revelation as a source has the true and spiritually accurate doctrine concerning God. Christianity not only maintains that God is the living, absolute source, "the only true God" (John 17:3; 1 Thes. 1:9; cf. John 5:20), but also teaches thoroughly and in depth of the nature of God as without beginning, without end, and of a perfect Spirit. The chief characteristic of the Divine nature is love. "God is love" (1 John 4:16). These words of the apostle contain the principal idea of the New Testament as the good news of salvation. The ineffable goodness of God created the world. The Lord housed man in paradise. Even after the Fall, God continued to love mankind. The greatness of God's love was revealed when the incarnate God died a most agonizing death for us. Christians know from not only the Holy Scripture, but also through the power of spiritual experience, that God is all-knowing and all-wise. The apostle says: "Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do" (Heb. 4:13).
God knows not only all that has happened, and all that is, but he has also perfect knowledge of the future. The mirror of the supreme Wisdom of God is the universe which He created, astounding man with its extraordinary complexity, beauty, and harmony. God demonstrates his ineffable Wisdom also in the dispensation of our salvation. "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out" (Rom. 11:33).
True religion is not limited by the demand of worship for the Creator. Its ultimate goal is the spiritual unity of man with God. The Savior speaks about this in a prayer to his Father before his suffering on the cross: "That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us" (John 17:21).
From the aforementioned characteristics of the Divine follows the concept of true, Christian monotheism. There can be only one all-powerful and all-just God.
The concept of God in Islam does not have a source of divine revelation. It developed on the basis of ancient Arabic religion. The word “Allah” was used in the polytheistic pantheon of Arabs to denote “God”: Allah (al - the definite article; ilah - god). Among the pagan Arabs, prior to their adoption of Islam, Allah was the supreme lunar deity, worshipped in north and central Arabia. The father of Muhammed, who was a pagan, was named Abdullah ("Servant of Allah").
In pre-Islamic times, the crescent moon was the symbol of the worship of the moon-god among the Arabs. This is confirmed by archeological evidence. The crescent moon was carried over as the main symbol of Islam.
Arabs of the Syrian desert called the wife of Allah as Al-lāt, and in the south of central Arabia, Al-‘Uzzá. In other areas of Arabia, they, along with Manat, were worshipped as the daughters of Allah. This genetic trail was preserved in the Quran. There is mention of this in the 53rd surah: "Have ye seen Lāt, and ‘Uzzā, and another, the third (goddess), Manāt? What! For you the male sex, and for Him, the female? Behold, such would be indeed a division most unfair!" (53:19-22).
In Islam, Allah is a created religious image by the human consciousness. He does not express the real almighty divine personhood. Consequently, monotheism in Islam is imagined. In a number of places in the Quran, he is endowed with intrinsically human characteristics and traits. Allah says:
  • "Those who reject Our signs, We shall soon cast into the fire: as often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the penalty" (4:56);
  • "...There is no help Except from God, the Exalted, the Wise: that He might cut off a fringe of the Unbelievers or expose them to infamy, and they should then be turned back, frustrated of their purpose: (3: 126–127);
  • "The Hypocrites—they think they are over-reaching God, but He will over-reach them" (4:142);
  • "And (the unbelievers) plotted and planned, and God too planned, and the best of planners is God" (3:54);
  • “Many are the Jinns and men we have made for Hell: they have hearts wherewith they understand not, eyes wherewith they see not, and ears wherewith they hear not. They are like cattle,—nay more misguided: for they are heedless (of warning)” (7:179).
What a great difference! Christianity teaches that God "will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth" (1 Tim. 2:4), while Islam maintains that Allah created many people for Gehenna.
The idea of monotheism, (tawhid, from the verb wahhada—to reckon something as one) was formulated in the Quran in several surahs. For example, in the 16th surah, "The Bee": "For We assuredly sent amongst every people an apostle, (with the Command), "serve God, and eschew evil" (16:36). In the terminology of the sharia, anything people worship except for Allah is "taghut". Since Islam does not know of direct revelation, nor the holy Manifestation of God to the world, nor the unification of man with God on the foundation of love, its monotheism is imagined, formalistic and abstract, requiring not that man change himself or his way of life, but only worship and daily prayer.
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)
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2024.05.19 14:07 RathorTharp Learning To Ride 2-Wheels + Adding DL Restriction

Basically, I've already got a license and can drive a car, but I don't know how to ride a motorcycle, and no one in my family does either. I really want to learn because it seems more practical for commuting to and from work.
So, do I need to get a student license again for this? Do I need to take PDC again before going to LTO to add restriction? Should I buy a motorcycle and practice around my area, or should I go straight to a driving school?
TIA!
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2024.05.19 14:06 PM_ME_YOUR_TITS_MEN I don't trust Bi men

Hate is a strong word but I don't trust Bi men. is exactly what I said in one of my comments few weeks ago and I didn't think I said anything perticularly wrong and I saw people calling me out on biphobia and I was very defensive about it because I felt like not dating bi people is simply a preference thing. Then similar post keep popping off and I keep seeing the word biphobia in it, so I started wondering am I a biphobe?
Whenever I have to question my biases I do one thing which is I read so I read bunch of articles and papers. So here is the answer...
  1. So what is biphobia?
    Well Biphobia refers to the fear, hatred or intolerance of bisexual people.1
And from the definition alone I am clean bowled no questions asked, I have a fear of bisexual men leaving me for the hetrosexual or more societally desirable option so I realised the way in my error as soon as I looked into the definition.
I actually confused biphobia with bierasure in my head. And I thought well I don't say bi people don't exist so I am not biphobic. Nor I am going on the street saying "Bi guy हाय हाय" so ofcourse I am not biphobic right? Right? RIGHT?
Well wrong bigotry can range from posters and protests to minor micro aggressions or snide comments.
So you might wonder how a happy, bubbly and bouncy guy like me got into biphobia
  1. Hurt
So umm this is a bit personal portion of the post so you can skip it if you want to.
So I have dated 3 guys so far. 1 identified as bi and 1 as gay other one didn't say anything he just said I love you. Now out of three all three of them left me to be in a hetrosexual marriage. While all of them left the one who hurt most were the bisexual guys because I know for a fact that gay guy would be miserable in his marriage so I empathised with him but othere two get to have a family a life which honestly something I wanted to build with them. And tbh it trumatised me.
This wonderful section in this article explained pretty well what I was feeling. (Recommend reading whole thing it's really great)
Lesbians and gay men may also fear that they are unable to compete with the benefits accorded by our culture to those in heterosexual relationships, believing that those who have a choice will ultimately choose heterosexuality. Many lesbians and gay men believe that bisexuals have less commitment to "the community," and that whatever a lesbian or gay man might have to offer to their bisexual partner will not be enough to outweigh the external benefits offered to those who are in heterosexual relationships. There is some realistic basis for this fear. Heterosexual relationships are privileged, and many bisexuals, as well as many lesbians and gay men, adopt at least a public front of heterosexuality in order to avoid family censure, develop their careers, and raise children with societal approval. However, I also believe that there is some internalized homophobia at work in this line of reasoning. Many bisexuals, while having this perceived choice, still choose to be in same- sex relationships. What gets lost in the fear is the fact that same-sex relationships also offer benefits not available in heterosexual relationships: the absence of scripted gender roles, freedom from unwanted pregnancy, the ease of being with someone with a more similar social conditioning, etc. Most importantly, the psychic cost of denying one's love for a particular person can be astronomical.
Now my truma don't justify the bigotry. As the Ex. philosopher Natalie Wynn stated
You're not less of a bigot because your bigotry has a tragic backstory. In fact bigotry often has a tragic backstory. Bigotry involves feelings of being threatened or attacked, so it's often rooted in trauma.
  1. Biphobia with in queer community
See I have been told by many gay men to don't trust bi curious/bisexual people and after getting my heart broken I brought into that narrative. And after reading so many articles about it I feel bad for bisexual people because they have to face biphobia from the queer side and the straight side. Many guys who slid into my dms hide their bisexuality from me when I ask them if they are gay and they reply with "Yeah I like guys". And a guy outride asked me if I see him differently once he said he is bisexual. Hiding your sexuality sucks especially in the space where it should be celebrated. And we as a community need to do better in this regard.
  1. Conclusion
Honestly I have been reading about bisexuality and biphobia for past weeks and it really made me realise how ignorant I still am about our community. I hope this post doesn't come across too self absorbed because that wasn't the intention. As someone who I identified as bisexual for a year before coming in terms of being gay I am still learning and growing. I want to end this on a positive note by sharing one of my favourite movie which has excellent and messy bi representation called "appropriate behaviour".
Tldr: No tldr, read the whole thing
submitted by PM_ME_YOUR_TITS_MEN to LGBTindia [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:06 Zealousideal_Pen7777 AITA for ending a friendship over my ex?

I (26F) met my ex (27M) and my former best friend (25F) at the beginning of university. I introduced them, and we were close throughout our studies. After graduation, I moved away, and my relationship with my ex ended, though we remained friends. About a year after our breakup, my former best friend visited me for my birthday and mentioned that my ex had been asking her out after our relationship ended. Although I had no intention of getting back together with him, I felt uncomfortable with him dating a mutual friend. I decided to remove him from my social media and move on, but I stayed friends with her since, as far as I knew, she wasn't pursuing him romantically.
Two years later, she visited me again and revealed that my ex had actually started asking her out during the last two years of our relationship, and neither of them told me. They had grown closer while I was studying abroad, staying together in another country. This actually felt like a major betrayal. There’s nothing I value more than my time and both of them had just let me waste 2 years in a relationship where my partner was trying to cheat on me. She apologized and mentioned that even though he had a new girlfriend, he was still asking her out, and she didn't know how to handle it. I told her that I had lost my trust in her, and she promised to rebuild it.
However, a few weeks later, she and my ex took trips to two different countries for about a month together without his new girlfriend. In the past I’d you had told me they had something going on behind my back I wouldn’t have believed you but this along with everything else was really changing my perception. They were now doing the same thing to his new girlfriend. It’s not my place to say anything to the new girl but I do feel very bad for her. I decided to cut both of them out of my life. I didn't share this story with our mutual friends to avoid damaging her social circle, believing she might eventually change with and she’ll need those friends more than me for now. However, I learned that she told our mutual friends that I cut her off because of my ex, which isn't true.
Many things have come to light about my ex since our breakup, revealing that he wasn't a good person, and I regret the time I spent with him. The reason I ended the friendship was the loss of trust in her, not because of my ex.
Am I the AH? How should I handle the social fallout? I love my life now – I'm in a prestigious grad school, have supportive family and lovely friends outside of my uni bubble, I have a really well paying job, and am beyond grateful for everything. However, it bothers me that our mutual friends only know her version of events. Her family still reaches out to me, and I don't have the heart to tell them about our falling out. Her mom once said to me “I love you because of how much you love and take care of my daughter”, It sucks to lose them but I'm okay with whatever version she tells them because I don't want to disrupt her relationship with them. I was thinking of paying off one of her student loans as a birthday gift before I realized she was spending it with my ex lol, helped out another friend with grad school fees and gifts for my mom instead. Is there something I'm missing? Was I unfair to her in any way?
submitted by Zealousideal_Pen7777 to dustythunder [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:05 barrenotbar Reflecting on 3 years

Started experimenting with alcohol very young, was drunk and smoking cigarettes before double digits. Growing up in a big family, my parents had drinks every evening and cocktail hour is when everyone came alive, when we would communicate and interact. Booze to me was the oil in the engine. Our large extended family had varying levels of alcohol abuse. Definite vibe that the ones who quit or were in AA had somehow failed the test. The goal was to drink as much as possible, but keep your shit in check.
High school, college, young adulthood… so much assault, pain, bad decisions, bad choices. And so much guilt, anxiety and despair! Asking what the hell is wrong with me?
Married young and had two kids. Stopped smoking and drinking for pregnancy and remember someone telling me it was okay to have a glass and me saying what the hell is the point? I drink to get drunk, one glass will just annoy me.
Onto life of a suburban drunk mom surrounded myself with other “party” families. Always sad or guilty about my behavior so in my 30s went to a psychiatrist who gave me Xanax and told me I was normal. Luckily I hate pills.
40s come kids are teen/pre teen and I just cannot function anymore. Start my attempts at quitting and it becomes obvious that this is a problem. So for my 43 birthday I gave myself the gift of a year sober. It started out as taking a break, but when people pressed me I said it was an experiment to get through a year with no booze. That year i got my barre training certification - never could have done it while drinking.
Year ends and I have done it! I have proved that I do not have a problem with alcohol!!! Flash forward a short week later and it is back to drinking almost every night. Everyone likes me better and I hate myself.
Couple more years, couple more quits and some really creative and pathetic attempts at moderation. Still feeling this is a me problem.
Start reading some quit lit and find Annie Grace. Start reading but put off by the “you can still drink” while you read part so put it down. Then at 48 find myself on a plane with nothing unread on my kindle except this naked mind. Read it, picked my date and it has stuck.
I knew the reaction I got when I quit the first time and knew that I would have to do this alone. Googling resources and found stop drinking. And I felt like I was saved.
No one in my real life wanted me to stop (party pooper), EXCEPT the only two people who matter, my kids. Now young adults they are very happy for me, we talk almost daily and they tell me to forget what other people think, that I am doing the right thing.
When I think about apologizing for my alcohol fueled behavior I get kind of angry. Then only people I have apologized to are my children (and my dogs :)
I am in the NONE group - not one, not ever. I spent years carving deep ruts of addiction in my brain, I was not made for moderation and I know this.
My visual - No matter how far down the road, you are still the same distance from the ditch - I am fully aware where a misstep will lead, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation.
And my favorite- Quitting drinking may not lead to heaven, but it unlocks the doors of hell and lets you out. The idea that rings most true to me. Things will be bad, but they’ll never be hungover bad.
My environment now has not changed much, but I have. I try to stay in my own lane, make choices that other people may be unhappy with when I need to, and to provide an example that having a social life does not require drinking poison.
3 years and I feel like I am just beginning. My brain is continuing to heal, my body is strong and my spirit is grateful. I am really proud of myself, my partner is now proud of me and people comment positively on my age/health/looks. While I try to be kind, i do indulge in a little gloating when people around me are hungover.
If anyone thinks they can’t do this because they are in a codependent drinking relationship, you can. My partner still drinks (less, but…) and it has been very hard. But the contrast, the battle, the having to be a champion for my self - it has been clarifying.
I feel strong and know I am doing the right thing. When my family mocks me, when my friends look at me with pity, when society tells me I am missing out, I say Fuck Off and look to myself, my kids and to SD and know I am in the right place.
Thank you to everyone here, from day one to dinosaur. I have such respect and appreciation for all of the education and support available in SD. IWNDWYT
submitted by barrenotbar to stopdrinking [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:04 Fresh_Wheat Advice Needed: Pros and Cons of Doing a Master's Degree at the Same School as My Undergrad

Hi everyone,
I'm seeking advice on whether to pursue a master's degree at the same university where I completed my undergraduate studies. I've heard mixed opinions, and I'd like to get more perspectives on this.
Background:
Questions:
  1. What are the pros and cons of staying at the same school for a master's degree?
    • I appreciate the familiarity and existing relationships with the faculty.
    • I'm curious if staying might limit my exposure to new ideas or opportunities compared to studying elsewhere.
  2. If I apply to my alma mater, can I ask for letters of recommendation from professors in the department?
    • One of my favorite professors, who is also the director of graduate studies, would be an ideal person to ask. Is this common practice or could it be seen as a conflict of interest?
Any insights or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance for your help!
submitted by Fresh_Wheat to GraduateSchool [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:03 wolfy321 I guess I’ll head out then

I just put in my two weeks at my job last night. I feel like it’s pretty par for the course that as I was giving my boss my letter, a bird had figured out how to get into the hood for our stove and was screaming its head off.
I just graduated nursing school, and I start my new job in June. I’ve been on the ambulance since 2019, and this feels like really closing a chapter for me. I’m not totally sure how I feel about it yet other than a little nostalgic
Happy EMS Week :)
submitted by wolfy321 to ems [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:03 angiedrumm Husband (probably) totaled my car

It actually wasn't his fault. He was driving to a gig yesterday afternoon, in the rain, and some Boomer didn't properly check before changing lanes and hitting my husband all along the passenger side. Boomer was in a Nissan Murano that took almost no damage; our (my) Toyota Corolla took all the pain.
My husband is totally fine, just frazzled and shaken. And as soon as I knew that, I had to cry for my car.
I got it when I was 22. My first car. I leased it brand new and bought it out when the lease ended. I paid it off early in 2018 with my tax refund money plus a bunch of savings; I just wanted so badly to OWN something outright. My Corolla was my baby and I was fussy as hell about it.
Meanwhile, my husband always had hand-me-down family cars, and I think that lack of pride in ownership caused him to be hard on a car. Oh he always got the proper maintenance but the interior of his car when I met him was atrocious. Then he inherited his mom's Chevy Equinox and that became a disgusting mess, too. He just lives out of cars in a way I can't comprehend.
Last year when our son was born we agreed it made more sense for us to basically switch cars, such that whoever had the baby, had the Equinox. So I was suddenly driving that disgrace around while he took my neat and tidy Corolla to and from school and work. He was adding a shit-ton of miles to it, which I quietly resented (but that resentment is tied up in other stuff too that I won't get into). And while I begged him to please not treat the inside of my car the way he's always treated cars....to say he didn't listen is an understatement. He didn't even vacuum it out here and there just to humor me. He always insisted he didn't see what the big deal was, that the nature of his work life meant he HAD to eat sprinkled cookies in the car and HAD to spill coffee on the seats. (I'm being hyperbolic but honestly not by much)
And now, as the final insult, he was the one who drove my car last and got into what's probably going to be its final accident. It's a 2011 Corolla with 128,000 miles on it; I can't imagine the insurance company will agree to repair it. And I feel so fucking cheated. I could have easily gotten another 75,000 miles out of that car. It's a Toyota, that's what they do. And we JUST replaced his Equinox in February (with a Corolla Cross because I'm a Toyota ride or die). We could comfortably afford that car but until he started his new job in December (the one he was going to school for), we really needed the 2011 Corolla to keep doing what it did. Now if we need something new, it will be a stretch.
I'm just so so so mad and sad today. And when we both woke up just now he wanted to hold me and I feel like a mean wife but I didn't want to be touched at all. My first car, my first taste of freedom, is probably dead and I feel like he killed it.
submitted by angiedrumm to breakingmom [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:02 Status-Holiday1590 Parents of teenagers please advise

My family had a devastating loss on Mother’s Day. A cousin of mine tragically passed, so our entire family has been making their way to Florida to be together. I originally planned to fly down with my preschooler, my sister, and her infant. My 17 year old relative let me know that his mother won’t be going and if he can stay with us while he’s there. We have an extra bedroom, so I said sure. I’m starting to think I made a mistake.
He seems to he treating this more like a vacation than what it really is, gathering with family to grieve. I understand that since he is 10-15 years younger than us, he didn’t grow up with and know the deceased like the rest of us but it’s starting to feel really insensitive. He let me know that he has a list of activities he wants to do and if I can plan some fun stuff for us to do.
I let him know that the place we’re staying is a resort with a pool, small waterpark, game room, etc. I only booked it because the condo came with a bunch of toys/baby supplies for our convenience with the small kids. He is more than welcome to explore the rest of the resort, but I am not treating this like a vacation. I am grieving and who knows how any of us will be feeling once we get there. We may not be up to doing all these activities and to understand that, so I can not guarantee we will go shopping and top golf the beach and whatever else is on his list. He’s upset and already complaining that he doesn’t want to sit around bored.
I don’t have a lot of experience with teens besides once being one myself. Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle this?
submitted by Status-Holiday1590 to Parenting [link] [comments]


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