My best moms friend

Why does my GF feel like just a friend?
I’ve had a great relationship with my first ever GF for the last 9 years. I was also her first boyfriend. I’m very in love with her. But she hasn’t been as into me as she used to be in the first three years of our relationship. It manifest in our sex life but also in a lack of idk “emotional needy ness” towards me.
I’ve tried talking about it with her but I don’t think it’s really helping at all tbh. I don’t ever push her for anything, we have sex like once a month when she feels down and I initiate. Most of the time she will have a headache or stomach ache and not want it (always appears about 30min before sex would start).
She spends most her time watching reels around me. She says it’s due to her adhd.
When she gets around her old bff I see her enjoy herself more than she does around me. Like a lot more. And she won’t watch not one reel.
She always tells me that she likes me a lot and is sure about me. But I can’t help but feel that she just lacks the experience to know that she isn’t really into me anymore.
She had suffered sex shame issues through childhood which she says I’ve helped her a lot with. But I feel that I’m just her safe space.
Out of the hundreds of times we’ve had sex I can only think of 4 times where we had emotionally connected sex. That was by far our best sex for us both. Most of the time she will close her eyes and not engage with me and focus on trying to cum. Usually not succeeding. I’m considered conventionally attractive I don’t think she closes her eyes cause it’s a bad view. I’ve talked with her about this, and she says she’ll try new things like imitating how she used to, or do a little forplay like we used to. Then she will always forget her commitment. I don’t think she does this on purpose tbh. I think she kinda closes off to me due to her own insecurities if I had to guess. But I also think that’s why she hasn’t broken up with me.
How do you tell if someone doesn’t really like you anymore and is using you to hind from their own fears?

I'm currently looking at a 2013 RAV4, and wanted to get your guys opinion.
I'm looking for a nice hatchback/CUV/SUV that is crazy reliable and has the option to go up north (Canada) for car camping.
I found a 2013 RAV4 at a branded dealer for $10k with 110k miles. I had my mechanic friend come with me for the test drive and he said it seemed pretty solid.
The dealership said they only finance for 36 months max on a car this old, so even with a $4000 down payment, my monthly would still be pretty high ~$300.
I've been doing some research and this year of RAV4 isn't the best, but still reliable. So I've been looking a other options like similar model year CRV's, and heard some great things about
At this point I'm wondering if it would be better to just buy a newer vehicle as the monthly would be the same, just paying for longer... however it would be newer and potentially under warranty.
I am new to cars and buying cars so I've been learning a lot and wanted some input.

Hi. I have a 10 years old girl who has witnessed her father being abusive with me, never physically, but verbally, mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. She makes it very clear she doesnt like daddy and would like to live with just me. I am in a very complicated situation, I had an accident that left me with long term injuries. He tells me I’m dead weight for him. Since my injury I’ve gained some weight due to not being able to exercise as I used to, he calls me a fat pig, a slob, because I don’t dress nice anymore, I don’t have the money to take care of myself. He gives me a roof over my head and food. Nothing else. We haven’t slept in the same bed in over 3 years and since then I’ve been sleeping on a mattress on the floor in my kid’s room (she’s happy about that). I had an amazing career, made more money than him, always paid my own bills and half of the house bills, I always spent more on our kid than he did until my accident. Now I’m trying to tough it up and go back to work but he won’t allow anyone in my house to watch my kid while I’m gone (before and after school), he says he won’t commit to “watching” her because of his job and she begs me not to leave her with him. He makes it impossible for me to have a full time job. I’ve been asking him to move out, I can then have family members come and watch my kid but he says he won’t because I don’t have a job to pay the bills but I can’t work if he’s still in my house and won’t allow child care. We’ve had this conversation 50 times and he never has an answer or a solution. I’m now to the point of desperation, I hate him, I feel worthless and defeated. I wanna go to family court and have him removed from our home (it’s a rental, lease is on my name). He has no relationship with any of his family members, only his mother who also can’t tolerate him (so she says) but when poop hits the fan, she ticks to him, which is expected but since she knows and agrees that he’s not a good dad, shouldn’t she stick to what’s best for her only grandchild? She has money and manipulates him because she helps him when he needs something, she does the same to my daughter. I have a good relationship with her but won’t hide the fact she was abusive towards him as a child, an alcoholic, crack head who had multiple men moving on and out of her house. I used to feel bad for him but I can’t excuse his behaviors towards me any longer. This post could not be written if I had to explain how many horrible things he’s done to me but I am without a doubt at my lowest. When is it ok for me to have that conversation with my child and explain why I’m doing what I’m doing? Although she asks me to live with just me, having a parent removed from the home can be traumatic and she may think I didn’t have to do that. His mom at that point will not talk to me anymore, she knows all about his abuse and says she feels bad but she won’t stick to me when it comes down to it. I’m afraid at that point, she will start manipulating my child to feel bad for him and making me the bad one. That’s why it’s so important to me that my child knows the truth but how do I do that? I don’t know that she can handle the truth at 10 years old. The moment I do that, they’ll try and buy her opinion of me. They’ll manipulate her with gifts and if she doesn’t know the truth, I may very well be the loser in this situation. Please let me know what you think I should do. Thank you

I am so happy to find this sub. It's been 11 years since I rebeled against this cult. For the longest time I use to think I was the only 'Out of line' since none of my IRL bohra friends relate to me. This is my story about how I became an atheist.
Let me tell you the first incident when I was first called a 'Dawat no Dushman'. I was in 8th grade, it was a normal day in madrasa. Our maulima was talking about how we should not consume alcohol and went a step ahead and said "Even looking at the liquor shop was a great sin". Now at this point I was quite innocent and had just discovered how fun rebelling is. So I told my maulima that this rule is quite stupid since there are so many liquor store on the road and it's not possible to not glance at them.
Now at this point that dumb bitch of a maulima could have just explained that she did not mean it literally and was a metaphor for "looking at the liquor shop with intent to buy it". But NO, she went bat shit crazy and told me to stop questioning maula. She scolded me in front of all my friends for pointing out a rational innocent remark. She went ahead and complained to my parents about my behaviour and told them "discipline him or he will become like those dawat na dushman".
After this point everything started to go down hill. I was among the toppers in the madrasa. My parents use to dream of sending me to jamea. I had even memorized the complete 30th sipara by 7th grade. But this incident sparked the fire of rebellion in me (There were a few more things that acted fuel). I never stopped asking questions to my parents. I had completly stopped doing namaz. I use to pretend doing namaz in the other room because my mother would still insist I pray. I use to count seconds in my head equivalent to the seconds it took for me to recite the duas in each namaz as an act of rebellion. Just pretending to read Qur'an and occasionally turning the pages, just staring at them while being lost in my daydreams.
By 10th grade I was barely passing the final madrasa exams. I had started reading about atheism on Facebook pages. Started to talk to my hindu friends about my thoughts and luckily they related to me. Would talk about how the whole concept of a god was stupid. A year later I openly told my parents that I don't believe in their religion. But, I had fallen into a complete existential crisis as I had to idea what to believe and the purpose of life and all. Nor was my mom accepting the fact that her bright child was on the exact path the maulima had warned them about. I had shared my thoughts with some of my bohra friends thinking they might understand my point. But those motherfuckers went ahead and spilled all the beans to their parents and the jamat. People from the jamat would come and try to talk sense into me. None of them simpletons were able to convince me. After this I stopped going to masjid expect for lailatul qadar, Eid and 10th of Muharram because my mom really insisted me to. That's the only time I would be forced to meet my traitor friends cause I had to sit in the thal with them. One of them even said "Aaje dawedar aayo che", which really hurt but I laughed it off.
After a year or two of misery and depression, I finally started to embrace the fact that there is no purpose to life and it was up to me to give purpose to it. My parents finally accepted what I was and stopped insisting me. They are still very good and active bohras. There even came a period where I tried to make them understand my point of view and make them like me. But then I realised that there was convincing them. And even if I convinced them there was nothing good achieved. They would loose their identity and purpose in life, loose all of their friends and become an outcast. Would be miserable life for them. They are much better of living a blissfully ignorant life.
Somehow that maulima's prophecy did become right. Ironic how her efforts to keep me in line became the seeds of what I am today. A self fulfilling prophesy.
It's been 11 years now since and I have fully embraced my atheism, found meaning in my many hobbies, meaningful friendship, managed to get into one of the top MBA colleges. Even explored other religions with help of my friends just out of curiosity. Visited temples and churches all over india and realised other religions have such a rich and vibrant culture.
But through out my journey I must admit that tho I do not agree with this cult, there are few redeemable qualities. The 'Thali' is something that I find really helpful to an average mumin (Atleast where I live). There is also a great sense of community. I totally agree that the kothar in entirety should be overthrown, but an average bohra is still a very decent human being with a lot of idealistic characteristics like integrity, honesty, humble, hardworking, etc.
I would love to hear your stories about how your first spark was ignited and how it turned into a fire. Thanks for your time.

Note: This post is pretty long!
I’m 19 (oldest sibling) and have a sister two years younger than me. After my parents got divorced I noticed that everyone at my mom’s house seems to target me. Anything I would say/do would be a problem and I was always getting yelled at. Sometimes I believe it’s because I look most like my dad, who’s a narcassist. Even my younger sister (golden child) participates. In 2021 I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and couldn’t leave my room for months. My family would constantly talk about me thinking I couldn’t hear them. I think this is when my sister began to target me as well. She would bring up things I couldn’t do (due to circumstances) to make her look better. The worst part about it was that my mom knew about what I was going through and she would laugh along or ignore what was said. I try to excuse my sister’s actions because maybe her point of view was different back then. However, she still acts the same. She’ll constantly degrade other people unprovoked (including other family members and friends) and everyone turns a blind eye. Whenever I ignore her actions or call her out she gets defensive and claims that I’m being rude. She doesn’t respect my boundaries at all. She’s constantly stealing my things and ignoring physical boundaries. I think last year me and my mom got into argument and she ended up slapping me in the face and my sister constantly brings this up and jokes about it as well. It was a lot easier to tolerate back then but now I feel like I can’t control my emotions. Anytime my family taunts me it reminds me of everything they’ve done and I start resenting them. I’m starting to feel bad because I feel like this response isn’t normal and I’m afraid of repeating them actions my parents did. On top of that l, as the oldest sibling I feel like I have to be the bigger person (or basically act like a parent), and if I were to cut off my sister or family members I would be the “bad person.”

Note: I don't know if this counts as a vent/rant or not
When I first discovered I might be plural, I asked my parents about it. They then ended up contacting my psychiatrist(?) thinking it was my medicine doing the whole thing. I heard the entire conversation, and I clearly remember it went down in a way that made me severely uncomftorable.
~ "This is something popular among the internet and teens doing this kind of thing, mainly on tiktok." (This is what my psychiatrist said.)
{Mind you, I don't have tiktok, the only social medias I really have are this and YouTube.}
"Ohh.." (My dad, who then turned to look at me, he seemed like he was laughing about it slightly.) ~
This then turned into some weird thing that went on for about a month, which was when my mom met one of my alters, she did NOT believe one bit of it, and I knew because after this happened, the alter fronting told me what he could remember. When my mom met Citrus, he was minding his own business, slightly confused. He wanted to just be left alone until my mom seemed mad at him, kind of 'yelling' in a rude like tone for him to come over to her. This made him very uncomfortable, and he doesn't like talking or being talked to. But she made him say his name and age to her, and then suddenly my mom played a song that only I knew. This triggered a massive headache but did force me back to front, which hurt really bad for us, because we weren't (and still aren't) used to switching yet. My mom was also typing in the notes app about this, which I managed to get access to a few days ago without her knowing.
She described everything on there as if it was just me, being there just with poor memory.
The whole 'playing music to put me back in front' thing happened only twice, but it hurt really bad in the head both times. I hated it. So much. I did tell my mom about this, and she stopped, but I don't know if she'll really stop though, because she hasn't seen another alter since. Most of us have been trying our best to keep quiet and it because we're all paranoid.
And when this happened, she also just straight up said "come on" like in a sense of 'I know you're in there'. And that pissed me off a lot.
Besides, my parents and therapist(s) all call them 'beings', which they despise that label but they can't really do anything bout it because they know it's going to stay as that regardless.
Anyway, sorry for making this so long.
~ Leo, Host

Start off by saying my names max I’m 23 currently, I have some issues that i barely let anyone know, I’m bipolar and a bit of a narcissistic person. I don’t mean to be that way it’s just how I turned out, trust me if I could change it I would, I just have major trust issues so going to a therapist is kinda out of the question even if I need to go to one, I know it’s not healthy but I’m trying I guess, just not hard enough as some people say. The way they think they can talk about stuff that I can’t control like that makes me mad, I also have anger issues which is another thing I don’t tell a lot of people..I don’t mean to harm people it just comes naturally I’m a very open person, example: if you tell me if you need me to rate your outfit honestly, I’ll be pretty honest which most times makes people a bit angry at me that call it dog shit or something like that but they asked me to be honest, so it’s not my fault. Anyway I only have a few actual friends that I trust, about four people, I’m just going to get on with the story to save you boredom.
I moved in with one of my friends a few weeks ago, actually she’s my best friend her names Macy, also before anyone thinks that we’re dating she’s lesbian and I’m ace, I never really liked people that much I always found myself different from others. Through my whole my whole life people either disliked me or full on hated me, I try not to be effected by them which was kinda hard until I got to 8th grade when I stoped caring what people thought of me. I was alone for most of my life and I still am sometimes, my father passed away when I was younger and my mom went into a very depressive state, she still distances herself from talking about him which I understand. I love my mom a lot when I was young she was my favorite person and she still is I just can’t get over the affection when I was younger, people used to call me a mommas boy all the time which I would get mad at but I was, and I still am.
When me and Macy moved in together we did it to save money and split bills, her girlfriend broke up with her before we moved in together, she talked about splitting the bills and I eventually agreed, she’s my best friend so living with her wouldn’t be that bad I thought…I was wrong so, so wrong.
The moment we got there the neighbors were way to friendly and I don’t mean “welcome!” Friendly, they would talk to us each chance they got and they were so touchy, I’m not an ugly guy I’ll admit I’m pretty good looking, I’ve got called cute/hot by A lot of people, I normally either nod or say yeah. But their daughter (I’m guessing who’s a lot younger then me 15-16 since she looks young) keeps trying to touch me or make suggestive gestures to me. And I’ve told her parents “get your daughter I am not catching a case for that thing.” Safe to say they didn’t do anything..they were just pissed.
Also their mom Kisha keeps going into our yard every night almost and looks up at our rooms and she looks there for a good 30-a minute, until her husband Shawn comes out and scolds her, I always keep my window opened at night, I know it’s stupid but it helps me sleep, they both look in their mid 30’s. I know I shouldn’t be talking about them like their animals but honestly I don’t really give a damn if their dog keeps shitting in MY yard. Which is disgusting since they don’t pick it up even though I’ve asked them “pick up your dogs shit when you walk him.” I also occasionally go on either nightly around 8pm-9pm or early walks 5am-6:30 I have a strict schedule for working out, it makes me less stressed and anxious when I have work in the evening I work 9/5 I work as a mechanic, it’s a good job I like it, I also drive a motorcycle which makes girls fold (don’t know why I find it annoying) I also have a STEM degree, I’m not a stupid guy I’m actually pretty smart.
Macy thinks their just being nice but I don’t know if I’m just being over exaggerating but I don’t trust them.
(This is the first part! Btw it’s fake I’m just bored but I’ll make a part 2 ITS GOING TO BE INTERESTING IM TRYING I’m only 13 so it’s not that good right now)

My brother's fiancé (29F - let's call her Lucy) (soon to be wife next month) has a very close relationship with my mum. They speak on the phone everyday, meet up all the time, and are pretty inseparable. This is a great thing for my brother of course, but my mum has never really treated me like a daughter. We've had a very emotionally and physically abusive relationship since I was young, but she seems to be so close and loving to Lucy. I (23F), still live at home with her to help her with her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and arthritis, though we fight almost every day because she is controlling. Everytime we fight, all of the details are shared with Lucy, who then enables and encourages my mum to punish and berate me.
They both clearly get along better than my mum and I ever have, and any person I date fails in comparison to Lucy. My current girlfriend (21F) and I have been together for 3 years, yet still my mum does not fully accept her into the family. We have been told that, at the upcoming wedding, my girlfriend and I are not to show any PDA of any kind as Lucy's family are very religious. Hearing this upset my girlfriend a lot, - she will already be getting ready for the wedding alone as I am a bridesmaid, and will be sitting amongst strangers during the ceremony and not with my family.
I am terrified of my mum and even have to work up the courage to ask to spend time with my girlfriend. I recently threatened to move out, in response my mum redecorated my room and decked it out fully just to stop me from leaving. She controls the clothes I wear, the food I eat, and also refuses to give me access to my savings account. What do I do? I love my brother to pieces, but I am struggling to get excited for this wedding. This has become noticeable and both my mum and Lucy have called me ungrateful for not being more involved and honored.
My mum and I have just had an argument where I stated that I feel she would behave differently if I was dating a man. She is livid and called Lucy immediately, in which she admitted to listening in on my appointments with my therapist.
TL;DR: my mum is overly controlling and my brother's fiancé indulges this behaviour. What can I do without hurting the relationship with my brother?

While there are times when I want to be alone, I don't enjoy alone time as much as I used to. I use an app to track my mood every day, and when I look back at my previous weeks I find the days where I felt the best were the days when I socialized. And my other days are kind of meh or not good. The problem is I don't really have friends. I've been trying to make friends, but it's been a slow process. And it's not worked out with some people, which is really disappointing. But I just made a new connection, and I'm hopeful that this one will work out. I also feel good when I spend time with family. My family just doesn't always want to spend time with me. So I need to make friends. If anyone has any advice on making new friends for someone in their late twenties, that would be appreciated.

TL;DR I feel like hospice/memory care is keeping my mom alive to get the most cash out of her.
I posted awhile ago because mom has been in hospice care since July. She was living with friends for her cancer treatments and started hospice there after a 5-day stay at the hospital, where she was either due to leptomengial disease or the side effects from proton therapy for said leptomengial disease. We moved her to our house in August, cared for her (alongside work, family, and everything else) until January when she went to in-hospital hospice and then a memory care facility (still with hospice add-on). She was moved to the hospital due to terminal aggression (not so “terminal” am I right?!?) but they got her meds working better so she’s calmer.
She hasn’t really spoken more than 1-2 words since February. She hasn’t walked since December. She didn’t eat a ton when she got moved to the memory care in early March, and the last 2 weeks her eating has ranged from slightly above 25% to nothing. She basically eats some fruit if it’s there and that’s it.
My mom hoarded a lot of cash, but we’ve already spent $50K for 2.5 months of care. She makes a modest income, but still has her mortgage to pay and so total her care costs $10K per month. For obvious reasons she doesn’t qualify for Medicaid.
I am an only child, but I’ve discussed this extensively with my cousin and we both feel as if mom would be horrified if she realized how much this is costing. I am now at a point where I feel like she is being kept alive almost against her will. My cousin wanted me to look into death with dignity but there’s no chance as my mom is not a resident of the state where we live and she’s not coherent enough to ask for it at this point.
I feel very uncomfortable asking how much time she has left with the hospice nurse because it makes me look uncaring but come on, we are middle class and this is draining all her money. If I need to drop the price on her house to below market rate because she still has months to go, then that’s the next step because financially I need to make sure that we are taking care of our own kids first. But that would be really unfortunate and I know how pissed off it would make mom.
What the heck do I do? I recognize how fortunate we are to have the best care money can buy but it is just so much money. It just feels like a wholesale wealth transfer to the healthcare system. It’s not even clear who is benefitting because it’s not like the workers there are super well paid. The facility defines fine, it’s not luxurious. It just makes me soooooo frustrated.

My old Dell 2407WFP and its higher-gamut HC version were highly-sought by graphic designers back in the day. I've been working on a pair of the regular versions (that were handed down to me by a friend when my HC version died) for about a decade, and one of them just gave out on me.
I have to quickly replace it on a $300 budget (as I unfortunately just spent a fortune on more pressing family needs) with one more catch : despite recently upgrading my PC to modern components, the one legacy part I kept was my GTX 750 Ti, which is the only card in that whole line to still receive regular updates from nvidia. It's been keeping up with me just fine, so I decided to see how far I can ride out this GPU before having to replace it. It has 2x DVI, 1x HDMI (1.4a) and 1x VGA out.
As for the new monitor, I first leaned towards this 2-for-1 deal at Costco (Canada) for a pair of 27" Samsung S3 screens. They're very bare-bones 1080p models. Not the ideal pixel-per-inch density, I agree, but all that real estate to work with for just $280 is attractive.
Then a guy at another local store told me "don't do that, do this!" and pointed me toward the Gigabyte M27Q Pro, which is on sale there for $300 ($450 reg.)
I am now leaning towards the M27Q-P, which was RTings' choice for "Best Budget Monitor of 2024" until they replaced it with the Dell G2724D (another screen in my price range that I considered) due to lack of availability. But my local brick n mortar has the M27Q-P and it's on sale.
So what's recommended, here? A pair of bare-bones Samsung 27" screens, the Dell G2724D, or the Gigabyte M27Q Pro? The only thing making me hesitate regarding the M27Q-P is that it's a VA panel and I was told not to consider anything but IPS for my graphic design needs. Were those concerns overblown?
Thanks!

I (21 f) have a twin brother. we have always been close and i consider him to be one of my best friends. Recently i found out he is cheating on his gf of almost a year. i have very clear moral issues on cheating, and everyone in my life knows i won’t stand for it. No one else in my family is condemning his actions but me, and all he does is get angry when i tell him what he is doing is wrong. I don’t want someone like that in my life, but at the end of the day he’s my brother and it feels wrong to cut him off. i don’t know what to do since his actions go against everything i stand for but i love him.

Hi all, Thad a long stint in the hospital with two emergency surgeries and an extended battle with sepsis. I spent over a month in the hospital. My care was beyond top notch. I was released with several tubes as well as a G tube. Over the series 3ish months the tubes were removed one at a time with the last one being a G - tube. It was removed on a Monday and by Saturday night I was in extreme pain, so much so l couldn't walk. I was at my parents house for a holiday- two hours away from my acute care doctors. I had called their after office hours and my surgeon called me back immediately. He instructed me to go to the nearest ER and have them call him when I get there. So, my mom takes me- I explain to them my medical history and they take me back asap. My ER doc called my acute care surgeon and he was told my history and what my surgeon was worried about/the look for. Abscess, gastric leak, sepsis (as it's easier to get again once you've har it), and asked him to get me a CT scan. The CT V was ran... and reviewed by the radiologist and Ek doc. The ER doctor determined there was nothing out of the ordinary and in fact... I was lucky because my bowels weren't twisted! He called my acute care surgeon back and told him as such. My doctor directed to prescribe me antibiotics as a precaution. The ER doc told me to follow up in two weeks if need be with my PCP. I leave the ER in tears and a wheelchair as I am incapable of walking. I stay at my parents house for an additional two days because I was hoping the antibiotics would do their thing and I was terrified of a two hour drive with as much pain as I was in. One day 3 the pain was spreading and worse and I make the decision to head back to my own hospital.
I go directly to the ER. They run their own tests and take me to the OR immediately. My medical records state: "Patient CT concerning for a fluid collection/ abscess. Compared to previous CT done at another emergency department there is now a more defined abscess and fluid collection. Suspect abscess is secondary to gastric fluid leak given history of recent removal of g tube and closed wound and less likely nec fasciitis however surgical team was consulted and patient was immediately taken to OR. Patient was started on sepsis protocol on arrival will need further surgical management." My surgeon made the comment that he wasn't pleased they told him I was alright. I spent two weeks in the hospital and had two surgeries within that week. I have a 17 in scar from my G tube spot that wraps around my torso. It was left open and I was discharged. I had a wound vac and in home nurses. It took about two months to heal/close. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
Which, brings me to my questions: My husband and I feel incredibly angry that such a large thing was missed - my medical records clearly state that the abscess was present on the original CT scan, and was even bigger the few days later. They billed us $32,000 for that too. Which, we've refused to pay so far.
I know medical malpractice is hard to prove to a degree and my husband and l are very close to the situation and I would like an outsiders perspective. I know there has to be a valid loss.... but it could have been my life. I feel if they had caught it.... maybe I would have had a 17 in scar wrapped around my body and endured so much torture.
Secondly, my husband is an attorney here in California for a large company- but he is a corporate attorney as are all of his friends... so it isn't his area of expertise. He wrote the letter for the intent to sue and we sent them out to the ER Doc, Radiologist, Hospital and company that employees the doctors. I have received responses to them and they're all requesting that I release my medical information to them. I'm assuming that's typical as several attorneys have requested it of me. We're in the process of getting an attorney (wanted to get the clock started).... Is that a typical request and are we required to do it? I understand that the intent to sue kind of helps with possibly avoiding court... Do I comply with their requests or? My husband said he was going to research it but I thought there might be someone knowledgeable here that could give some insight. Thank you!!

Hi, I'm 19 this year, and my best friend (also 19) and I have been friends for over five years. Recently, I've been thinking about how I don't feel like being friends with her anymore. I don't know if I'm just overthinking it or if I genuinely don't like her anymore.
She has been everything to me, honestly. She was there at my lowest, and she was basically my soulmate. She understood me in ways I admire. From ages 15 to 18, she was my only friend, the only one who truly knew me and saw me for who I was. We were like those best friends who could go days without texting each other and still be as close as ever. Our dates would always be sleepovers where we would talk for hours about our lives and update each other. Many people even said we sounded like a couple.
However, recently, due to our different study paths, we've been too busy to hang out or even call for hours like we used to. To make matters worse, she has this really annoying habit of not replying quickly; she takes days or even weeks to respond to something simple. Ever since then, whenever we hang out, I always feel very exhausted afterward. It feels like we're just friends who catch up and then go on with our lives.
Because of her mental health issues, she finds it hard to do many things. Maybe I'm being the bad friend here, but hear me out. Whenever she's mad at me, she stops talking to me. When I ask her what's going on, she shuts me out, then acts like nothing happened. I've told her how I feel about this, but whenever I do, she says she's trying, but I don't feel it at all. She also likes to keep things to herself, so I find it very hard to talk to her about her life because she doesn't bother to text me when something happens. Even when we meet, she never tells me about it. I've told her to open up, but she finds it too hard and always says she's trying. I've been patiently waiting for her to open up for years, but it's too hard to do it even once. I never force her to open up when she doesn't want to, but she doesn't even bother to start.
Recently, my grandpa passed away, and since she was the only person I wanted to talk to about it, I sent her a message. She replied with, "Sorry for your loss," not even asking if I was okay. Not once. The next day, she asked if our meeting was still on, and I told her I was at my grandpa's funeral. She replied with an "ok."
Just two days ago, my mom told me she might have cancer again, which makes me very scared. To make matters worse, she told me I can't tell my sister, which is horrible. Having no one to talk to about it, I texted my friend, hoping I could find comfort in her. It's been two days, and she hasn't responded.
Am I a bad friend? I don't know how else I should feel. I really don't want to lose her as a friend, but because of these recent events, I'm losing faith in keeping myself together before I burst at her.

So I want to preface this by saying I’m not really worried about my own partners actions, we’ve been dating for a few years and we’re long distance but only for 3 months out of the year (I’m still in school and go to school close to where he is so I only don’t see him during summer). My boyfriend’s friends are fun people, but they’re not the best people and I think he’s fully aware of that. I’m not saying they’re awful, they’re good at heart but they’re just the typical not really self-aware mid 20s type guys who don’t really know yet how to think about other people very well-plus they’re a bit younger than him so we just sort of expect certain behavior out of them since my bf grew up rather quickly since his life was pretty hectic. Nevertheless, once in a while he’ll go out for a drink with them or so or some gathering maybe a few times a month. Sometimes I’ll join when invited sometimes not because I respect a “guys night” and I’ve never worried. But now-about 3 of his friends have started having girlfriends (one who later got married) which yay I thought at first because I can finally have more girl friends but turns out they are either really REALLY controlling/manipulating and or very obviously looking to cheat on their boyfriend. For instance: The wife of one of his friends has attempted to start an affair with another one of his buddies within the friend group and luckily the friend is a decent person and said fuck no but it’s still ongoing of a situation. Another friends girlfriend just attempts to flirt CONSTANTLY and whenever they have a guys night, she (or one of the other 3 girls since it’s the same behavior basically) HAVE to go on guys night. Even when there’s no other girls or was intended to be a guy only event. Granted none of the girls yet have tried to come unto my boyfriend yet ( though I’m just taking his word for it but I have no reason to believe they would since he keeps to himself ) But I feel like since the ladies are so toxic and sloppy it’s only a matter of time since I had a friend group in high school who had a girlfriend in it who tried to sleep with EVERY GUY in the friend group and the kid is still dating her today. I don’t think any cheating is going to go on or anything with my boyfriend but I hate knowing when my boyfriend goes out I have to hear about some-please excuse my language but honestly whore try to so obviously get with her man’s friends? It leaves a pit in my stomach and I can’t say it’s jealousy because my boyfriend is fine but I feel so bad for these guys and don’t know how they don’t see it or why no one is telling them (especially about the attempted affair). I know I can’t control other peoples actions but when I saw my boyfriend was following the woman who attempted to have the affair on Instagram (granted it was before she admitted she wanted an affair to her “crush” but me and my bf saw it a mile away before everyone else) I just blocked her on his account she hardly follows any of his friends and i found it weird that she never requested to follow me, even though we talked the same amount if not more than my bf who only spoke to her two times ever (This sounds super petty i know I just was uncomfortable for whatever reason) he wasn’t really happy with it and we had a bit of an argument but he mostly argued because he just wants to “keep the peace” but honestly I could care less about keeping the peace between people I can’t stomach. And it’s not like I’m usually the jealous type, if he goes out and a single girl comes up to him at the bar and hits on him and he says “im taken” I wouldn’t care, it’s just if he has to constantly be around women who are in a relationship, and who already don’t care about breaking their promises or anyone else’s promises. It just reads as them having basically no morals. I just don’t get why his friend group can’t say “your girlfriends/wives are attempting to cheat on you and flirt with other guys they suck, kick them to the curb. But I don’t know, I guess his friends are too desperate and settle for girls like this? Does anyone know what to do in a weird situation like this or advice to cope?

We (28F & 30M) will be in Wrigleyville 1 day, and then river north/loop area the next 2 days. Then the 4th day is a half day before leaving. But if it seems like we can squeeze another area in I’m open to suggestions. I’ve been to Chicago before & did most touristy stuff, but my bf hasn’t been so we’ll still touch on some of those spots. Also, if anyone has any recs for where to be around sunset time that’d be great!
Day 1: Arrive 10AM: Be in Wrigleyville (visiting/staying with friends) 1130AM-4PM: bike some of the lakefront trail, stop along the Lincoln park area & north avenue beach area 5-730PM: Check out Wrigleyville stadium (at least from the outside) & have a casual dinner somewhere in Wrigley 730PM-late night: Alamo drafthouse movies, or bars, or go to a comedy show somewhere?
Days 2 & 3: (most of this isn’t set in stone and can be swapped around/replaced) 11AM: Head to hotel in river north. 12AM-330PM: walk the riverwalk. I’m thinking we walk down towards the bean, millenium park, & fountain, then head towards the lakefront path and continue walking north/around to where the riverwalk connects and maybe have a late lunch on the riverwalk. OR do it opposite and start with riverwalk. 430PM-730PM: check out West Loop shops, food, activities/ nightlife(maybe do some happy hours, or rooftops) I do have a reservation at Cabra at 730 but it’s indoors, we might go earlier to get drinks outside on the rooftop 830PM-late night: idk? Rooftop cinema club since it’s in west loop? Or any clubs/bars nearby?
1130AM-1PM: architecture boat tour 130PM-3PM: get deep dish pizza 3PM-6PM: maybe replenish ourselves back at hotel haha, or check out navy pier or the planetarium/aquarium area 7PM: dinner reservation at Sunda (OR leave around 5PM instead for happy hour at Gilt Bar) 9PM-late night: Kingston mines
Day 4: 10AM-12AM: idk 1230-2PM: Cindy’s rooftop for drinks / brunch 3PM: head to airport
I feel like there’s definitely some gaps where I could do more and/or a lot of things can be switched around. For example Kingston mines could be Thurs night instead, and west loop could be Friday, etc. Riverwalk/bean could even be Saturday instead. But I’m considering doing the riverwalk/bean later in the day and following it with the boat tour around 7PM instead to catch sunset views. And maybe get dinnedrinks along the riverwalk. Also wondering what is the best time of day to explore west loop. If anyone has comedy show suggestions, museum suggestions (already been to the art institute), or any fun things to do at night please lmk!

Hey, I’m an upcoming nursing student for fall 2024 and I was wondering what the best res is. The only requirements I really have is that I want it to be social to make friends and have my own washroom (just not communal w/ the whole floor lol)

Apologies if this is all scattered, so much has happened and my brain is mush.
I (26F) was seeing this guy (26M) since the beginning of the year. When we got together, I knew he was recently out of a super toxic relationship but didn’t think much of it.
On our first date, there was this immediate connection. It honestly felt like my soul recognized him. We shared all the same values, political views and morals and I truly had a best friend in him. We both felt like we’ve known each other our whole lives and it was truly a storybook romance. We became exclusive after two weeks.
A month into dating, he went to see his ex to get closure which I was understanding of. A few days later, he had something at my house that belonged to her and asked if I would mind him bringing it back to her, which again, I didn’t mind. At the time we had our location shared and he was there for 2 hours and declined my call and apologized because they were talking and he needed more closure. I explained to him that I was cool with him dropping the stuff off but closure is something that happens once, the second time it’s no longer closure and you’re choosing to engage with this person.
2 months into dating, we decided to end things because he had a lot going on in his personal life (very intense and scary stuff I can’t dive into) and wasn’t able to give me 100% which was respectable at the time. We both agreed this wasn’t a goodbye but a see you soon. He called me a week later and said he made a huge mistake and that ending things with me just made things worse. I explained to him that he can’t just waltz back into my life that easily and that if he had slept with someone else, I don’t know if I could take him back as I would feel disrespected.
That’s when he told me he slept with his ex. We had a really productive conversation about why he feels the need to seek validation from his ex due to his past (ps he is in therapy for this). Given we were only together for a couple of months and that I’ve experienced a toxic relationship where you’re easily sucked back in, I gave him grace and we moved forward.
I explained that if this is going to work, I need to set some boundaries in regards to him and his ex. He already had her blocked on everything and my boundary was that if he felt the urge to get validation from her, to call his therapist or let me know so we could figure it out together.
A week later, he told me he received an email from his ex because her period was late and she was getting worried. She eventually got her period but this was just another thing stacked on top of everything else.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, he was acting weird and he came clean about how while he was sleeping next to me at night, he was calling his ex during the day.
That was my final straw. I broke up with him because he is constantly disrespecting my boundaries in regard to his ex. He started blowing up my phone talking about how sorry he is, how he loves me and that I’m his person and that he’ll do anything it takes to make this right. He said he will never jeopardize our relationship again. He lives a couple hours away and showed up to my door with flowers. I took him back.
That week, things were amazing. Back to storybook love. A week later, I get a very strong gut feeling that he’s talking to his ex again as he was acting odd & I barely heard from him for 8 hours.
The next morning, he calls me and said his ex’s mother called him because her cousin tragically passed away and she was going manic. Her mother was asking him to come console her.
I explained to him that given the situation, I don’t feel comfortable with him going to console her but I’m fine if he wants to call/text her. I also told him that she has friends/family and that he can’t save her. I told him that as tragic as this is, she’s a big girl and her feelings are no longer his responsibility. His response was that he’s going to go see her “so do with that what you will” and that I’m heartless, I have zero empathy and that my response is disgusting.
I then said if he goes, I will not be here when he gets back. He went.
Am I the asshole for leaving him because he chose to go console his ex after I’ve made it very clear what my boundaries are especially after everything that transpired?
TLDR: this guy I was dating was constantly breaking my boundaries regarding his ex. He went to go console her after her cousin passed away and I left.

clarification: we are both trans. I’m ftm (18m) and she’s mtf (20f) so no one gets confused. refrain from responding if you’re transphobic…
i just need some input on my plans encouragement or something this was not planned at all but i want to take responsibility and go about things the best way i can.
She’s fully on board with keeping it and i’m 90% i want to too but she says she will support if i decide to get an abortion. She works full time, and im in school full time. ( Online self pace high school ) Also going to an online self paced university after i finish. I had already been planning on finishing my accounting degree in 6 months so i think my career plans fit well into things. I live with my sister and her and my partner don’t want me to work while pregnant. If my sister buys her home in the next 9 months i’ll stay there with her and my partner. If she doesn’t then i’ll move in with my partner at her moms which is an hour away from me. Aside from my sisters support i will more than likely have support from my nana and my dad.
things have been so good between me and her since day one. I am so glad that she’s the one that this is happening with. Am i crazy for thinking about marriage? we had already been talking about future plans and wanting to be married in the future before this. We also will be starting therapy. what are some other things i need to think about?
sorry if this was all over the place i don’t even know what im asking im in shock.

Actually, I told my mom a few weeks ago straight-up that I “didn’t believe that God exists” and she seemed supportive and respectful. I thought she understood, at the time, and that she genuinely wanted to understand my position. Though I never said it outright to my dad, I felt it was obvious enough from the questions I was asking.
But religion came up again yesterday, and I (19M btw) once again had to tell my mom that no, I’m not a doubting Christian, I’m an atheist and I told her as much. Apparently “I don’t believe God exists” leaves room for the doubting Christian thing but “atheist” doesn’t? She seemed very bothered by my use of the word. She threw all the usual apologetics at me. “So you believe in evolution? But !” “The gospels won’t match perfectly because eyewitnesses give different accounts!” (in reference to Matthew’s zombie apocalypse) “You don’t trust the Bible? Well, I don’t trust whatever source you got this information from.” (you mean what I said about what the Bible literally says?) Eventually she gave up and got my dad involved, despite my sleepy self’s strong protests.
My dad came, my mom made a point to tell him that I was a “professing atheist” who “believes in evolution”, and he and I had a not-so-fun debate that lasted until the predawn hours. At first it was blatant science denialism: “Science can’t explain everything!” “Where are the missing links?” “Entropy is incompatible with evolution!” “Evolution is unfalsifiable!” “Uniformitarianism doesn’t account for the frequent natural disasters we see!” I could give a laundry list of the points he brought up, but they weren’t very impressive. I tried to tell him that scientific theories aren’t supposed to be perfect, that they do change and adapt to new evidence, but he kept saying that because scientists would only keep revising the theory, the process itself was unfalsifiable. So much for rational thinking. What does he expect scientists to do, assume his very unfalsifiable god did it? He kept saying that the world itself was conclusive evidence of god and seemed to suggest that atheists are willfully ignorant.
He made some of the other usual arguments. That an omnipotent, omniscient god put all the evidence necessary to prove his existence. That us actually knowing he exists would destroy free will. That morality necessitates a god. That the actions of this omnibenevolent god is somehow bound to the culture of sinful man. He said a few things beyond that that basically amounted to wholeheartedly agreeing with Christianity’s worst parts: that obedience itself is a virtue (including in the case of Abraham, and that he would not have the “courage” to do what Abraham did), that Yahweh is above moral judgement for murdering three-year-olds (“what makes you think you can judge God?”) and that Yahweh intends that some people don’t get saved. He said he’d heard all these arguments before and it didn’t even faze him. He flat-out stated that he doesn’t believe life ought to be fair. I quickly realized that this was an argument I could not win, because we weren’t even having this discussion with the same set of basic premises. He’s too far gone to be reasonable about this. When it got late enough we basically just agreed that the other person’s arguments were too lousy to convince. Which horrifies me, personally, that these atrocities don’t even bother him at all.
I had to go to church with them this morning to celebrate my sister’s high school graduation. I often withdrew from the church crowds because, frankly, I don’t like crowds and being around these people brings back painful memories. My dad walked up to me one of these times and played the angry atheist card. “You’re angry, aren’t you? You’re angry because you think the church pulled one over on you. Tell me, what have you lost?” he said. Such a total lack of empathy. It seems the only thing he cares about is being right. He knows nothing of how hard it is to be treated as a misfit for years on end by the only friend group you’ve ever known. How much of my strict, sheltered childhood was shaped by his and my mom’s political and religious opinions.
Until today, I respected my parents as good, caring people, even though I disagreed with them on so many important issues. I don’t see how I can have any respect for them anymore. How can you tell me you willingly worship a god who creates people for the sole purpose of sending them to hell? That this god is above his own moral standard of “thou shalt not murder”? How can you tell me that you don’t think life ought to be fair under your all-loving god? And then going so low as to apply tired “angry atheist” stereotypes to me, being completely unsympathetic to my personal struggles? They’re not even trying to understand. They just want to be right. And I’m afraid that’s just not an attitude I’m okay with.
Rant over, I guess. Maybe it’ll fizzle down from here. Don’t think I’ll need to go back to church for a while. It’s a load off my chest, and I don’t think I really could have kept the secret much longer. Oh yeah, and I never mentioned this, but surely my whole household + my grandma now know because of how carelessly loud and open my dad was last night about my atheism. It’s out, for better or worse.

I posted about a month ago, a very controversial post :) that got 12 million views by accident. To sum it up since I deleted the post, I wrote that we had been together 8 years since meeting in college at a prestigious public-ivy, married since end of 2023.
I (27F) just started my last year of medical school and he (27M) just moved across the country to start his new job. I wrote, very superficially, that he made 315K a year, was 6'4, blue-eyed, owned a beautiful 1 acre home (queue I'm looking for a man in finance, 6'5, blue eyed...jokes!!) and that we'd be making 600K combined by 32. We had done a brief open relationship prior to engagement and with the recent move, we discussed re-opening the relationship just for casual company (san intercourse) only while we were doing distance. Some were questioning how I could trust the "sans intercourse" but this man is honest to a fault, has told me other people are much better at xyzzy but consistently reassures me that xyz doesn't make for a solid life-building partnership. During my birthday in April, and he had spent the whole week meeting other women. I wrote that he gave me 6K prior to leaving for my debts but I was in extreme emotional distress.
https://ibb.co/DQRhCKp (proof for the doubters)
Half the thread called me superficial, I just wanted to thank everyone for their feedback. I grew up in a monetarily blessed but chaotic environment (mom was abusive, dad died from cancer when I was in high school) and after he died, money was always the forefront of our concerns. I emphasized that I grew up in one of the most expensive parts of CA where houses are $1.5 million average for a 1800sq place, and mom to this day has never earned more than 50K in her career in ministry. I'm taking 250K+ out in medical school loans, and I have merit scholarships of 65K total over the 4 years. It's stressful as hell, and why I emphasized it in my post. I clarified in the comments that we don't spend much on designer bags/cars/luxury apartments or anything. In total, we spend maybe $200 each on clothes/camping gear for him a year, had a wedding under 8K and an e-ring under 2K. We just want to build a legacy in the work we do, want to ensure our future kids are comfortable, and to start a meaningful fund for the community we end up living in.
That being said, the thread shifted my perspective so significantly, I have never felt luckier in my entire life as crazy as that sounds. We had a lot of conversations since the post was made, and I finally feel safe and secure in my marriage, a feeling I thought I would never feel with any man. He told me that as long as I gave him the word, the open relationship would end. I have yet to do say that, but he has not seen anyone since the post. He has his freedom but has chosen not to do anything and expressed a lack of interest in doing anything on his end.
I'm with a man who supports my career goals (side eye at Kansas Chief's Harrison), who provides both emotional and financial support, who makes me feel fully seen, who is so proud of me. He has consistently put my pursuits first and moved for my career years ago, and he'll do it again when residency comes. Tons of my colleagues are worrying about Hinge in residency and others worry about "the clock ticking" but I'm grateful that I have found my person.
Don't get me wrong, I read every single comment for the last few weeks. His actions were in poor taste but he is a good man. No man I've known or met is perfect, but he is recognizing that he can be too self-serving at times too. I'm a huge proponent of therapy, and that is working well. I am not encouraging anyone stay in a toxic situation at all, please don't if you are. Just an encouragement for those out there that sometimes there's an opportunity to both grow together, in a way that doesn't constitute divorce. We're committed to improving individually and together and will continue building so cheers to that.
I set a reminder in my calendar to update in 10 years. All the best to everyone, nothing but gratitude and positivity.
:)