Is a frozen hip like a frozen shoulder

TLDR: Where does power start from? momentum of the free leg? by flicking the hip muscle? or shoulders? Does it have the same mechanism as this off ice?
I've got a pretty solid and consistent waltz and salchow(have more than enough height). What I only do is twist my hips midair, then use the free leg to gain the momentum to follow the turn. As I was attempting axels and doubles, I seemed to have a tough time going past 1 rev mid air. Can someone explain in detail? (E.g: twist shoulders but lock using hips, only use foot momentum to follow). Thank you so much in advance!

I didn’t do it. I didn’! I didn’t! I’m no murderer, no, listen! I will tell you your a killer. You do not believe me? Even for a moment? But little is my own sentence even a concern for me, the freedom in society has little left to offer me. Grief and horror are all that fill my mind, the only residents remaining in my home. And you’d expect it to be such an oppressing grief. But no, no, no…it is much more the horror. It is much more the intense fear, the great disgusting and evil works that wait for me in the dark. The grizzly voice that reassures me of fate in its worst forms. It is here now. Cackling at its maniacal work. I hear it. What are you worth wretch! You’ll burn all your years and infinite more! But forgive me, my anger is difficult to suppress against my enemy. He lingers still. A lover of deception however, would be a fool in his own craft to reveal his intentions. Thus, would be a fool to reveal their own horrid form. Therefore, relinquish some of your repulsion of me, so that you may have at least some possibility of belief in what I say. I understand the situation I’m in, but why should I refrain from telling the truth simply because it is unlikely you will believe me? Especially when you condemn me? Listen then!
I was watching television, and my roommate was out the entirety of this night. My family remained in Los Angeles during this time, so they are not making any affect on what occurred. But you want me to tell of my roommate? I am telling you! You ask about the murderer, so you must listen to all I know of him. It was in the most ordinary of circumstances and activity when such a striking and alarming voice pierced the room. The TV was quiet, and I lounged about with dull mind. When I heard someone call for my name from down the hall, whom which I couldn’t see since the door was closed, I of course simply responded, “Yeah?” This was the very first of the remarkable experiences I began to have. I realized what had just occurred. I was home alone, so who could be calling to me from my own room? Well I suspected then my roommate. But I had trouble reconciling the voice I heard with that of my roommate. It had such an eerie tone to it. Almost as if it were teasing me. Yet, it was such a convincing and deceptive call, that the mocking tone it had was almost imperceivable. As if maybe this creepy inflection was a result of my own nerves or unfamiliarity with the event.
Regardless of it’s true nature, this odd quality roused my attention. Was I indeed not alone? But then it must be my roommate, since it was my name. I could not get over the gross friendly tone it called to me with. It’s as if it was bragging about knowing my name. I froze for a moment with the TV playing, listening for another call. “Javier” a woman's voice called out gently and compassionately. But such disgusting compassion did it call out. It seems it couldn’t itself disguise just the slightest hint of malevolence that just snuck under the tone. Or perhaps it meant to say it how it did. But it terrified me. I reasoned it must be somebody I know. But I couldn’t bear the action of getting up looking around. I was simply frozen, wishing not to move and cause myself to miss out on hearing more by making a racket myself. it didn’t even come from behind the door, it was as if it was somewhere far away. Yet it was so clear and punctual in volume.
This left me more at unease and helpless to find a solution. This time I did not respond. I greatly regretted responding the first time. I only paused the TV and looked about myself anxiously, dreading that something would speak again. After many moments of silence, I compromised to rest from my alert. And as the words spoke drifted deeper into the past, the simple abnormality of them caused them to resist their place in my mind as credibly existing. Though it happened not long ago that same hour, I questioned if I did indeed hear a call out for my name in such a mysterious and ugly tone as I had. This was just before the most morbid of calls occurred. It spoke to my name again, “Would you come, Javier?” But such terror came over me in that delicately rude and friendly tone which it spoke to me in. The suspense and anticipation for the call was intensely surmised to a realization as my heart began a sprint. This voice was not just a woman's, it was my sister. How incredibly unlikely she would be here, unannounced and somehow in my home without my knowledge. I still held intense fear, for you must understand the uncanny sense from this call. It was as if someone was inciting their vocals and tone to imitate or mock a human. It seemed not as if they were doing an impression of my sister—no, for it sounded exactly like my sister—but instead it seemed as if they attempted an impression of a human. Such a perfect quality, yet just so slightly imperfect that I may subconsciously perceive something wasn’t quite genuine in this call. I darted my perceptions across the room wide eyed. I quickly looked about myself, checking behind me multiple times.
Now, the following details not only enhance the unbelievable notions of my current situation, but may in fact completely discredit me in even speaking about them. But you must hear it! I implore you to imagine this! It is the truth—all of what I say is. For the night I heard her—my sister that is—speak to me in my own apartment, was the same night, as I learned weeks later, is the same night she had died. Sophia, that is her name, had killed herself.
Many nights passed like this when I was alone. I was tormented by calls with no direction or location. I shuddered at creepy voices beckoning in the dark. Sometimes, even in daylight, things spoke to me while I was alone. Unrelenting and disturbing voices within my home. Now, you may presume at this moment I am clearly schizophrenic. Indeed, I too had this notion. I seeked a psychiatrist during this time, to which medicine was prescribed and an indefinite period of shipping as well. But I perceived far too many REAL things. Yes, these could be hallucinations, but you couldn’t possibly have that conclusion if you hear what else this has done to me.
It happened after many terrible nights that I heard of my sister’s death. I was very shocked at first. But sadness was not next door, grief did not have time to move in. Instead, a realization taunted and teased my peace. I would hear her tonight, speaking to me. You may not imagine the dread that filled my day. I went to work and back home as a zombie. The tasks and conversations passed me by as dreams. I was incredibly absent and void of presence in my own life. My head spun before it comprehended any purpose of grief and despair. When I returned home I found myself double, triple checking that the lights were on and the blinds shut. Even though these things were clearly in my sight. I also locked doors and called my roommate to make sure he was home. I begged and pleaded with him, but he only brushed me off telling me he can't ditch his shift. I paced back and forth within the rooms pitching the plan to myself to have a hotel room. I eventually settled on this as it brought peace to me. And that night passed, at least before I slept, how I hoped. My sister did not speak to me from the darkness. But woe had not stopped its intention upon me that night.
I managed to fall asleep. In my dreams that night, I was visited with a vivid nightmare. I stood in my childhood home waiting at the door with a bat in my hand, standing between my sister and the entrance. I had this feeling that something bad was going to happen, and that I had to protect her, though nothing in particular was occurring. Then, with a gentle creek, a clawed hand reached and pushed the front door gently open. A demonically horned monstrosity stepped into the room. Its hooves clopped upon the wood floor. I intended to combat it, but my muscles took no command from me, and I swung the bat as if I was in molasses. It lunged with a deep roar to my sister, digging its hands into her stomach and viciously tearing it open with ease. It dug through her chest cavity as a dog digs holes in the dirt, spewing and tossing guts and organs out slashed and mutilated. I stood helpless and disgusted, until it turned towards me. It dropped my sister to the ground like a doll it no longer wanted to play with. It approached and grasped me tightly, growling a deep animalistic anger, its stature looming over me. It took its claw and dug it into its own eye, slicing it and tearing it open. It leaned over me, inches from my face. I screamed in horror. Black blood seeped and dripped from its swollen socket into my mouth. I struggled ferociously but the blood continuously poured from its eye into me.
I awoke sweating in pitch black, feeling Intense fear in myself. As a child that had not had their night light. I was terrified of the thought of something being in the darkness. I knew I was awake, and I was in a hotel in the middle of the night, but my heart started racing in irrational fear. I didn’t even have the courage to lift my head and look about the room to satiate the tormenting curiosity in the mystery of a possible supernatural visitor. But, I did. There was a demon sitting on the chair. A darker than dark silhouette of someone sitting hunched, looking at me. It was a shadow. But I knew, even then, this was a devil. I felt it. The blood in my skin fell away. I was mortified; in absolute terror. I stared unmoving with my heart beating out of my chest at this figure.
I slowly began to hold disdain for it. It did not move, it did not speak. But, I was beginning to be relieved of my fear. Instead, it was replaced with hate. Burning, mean hate. I hated it. No, I abhorred it. I was angry. The most intense rage fell upon me. I stood up from my bed, looking about the darkness. I stomped and clenched my fists. Captured in the most ridiculous delusion of fury, I began yelling and thrashing my room. I broke vases and electronics. I smashed the TV to the ground. I bit and gnawed at the chair leg which the thing sat on. I flipped the mattress and kicked doors off their hinges. I scratched and tore pillows like a feline. I was filled with so much hate and anger. I remained like this until hotel staff came to subdue me. Which, at their arrival, the feeling subsided suddenly.
I now was plagued daily by these voices, and nightly by this demon. The visits were not as dramatic as the first, but still, It watched me from different places in the dark each time. All it did was sit there. Weeks passed like this, I lost tremendous amounts of sleep attending to fruitless solutions and avoidances. Either I slept not a wink the night and evaded my tormentor, save for the voices if I’m alone, or I had to face my tormentor in the midst of night with a bravery I did not possess, awoken by various nightmares or visions designed for me that night.
But this is merely his entrance, I must now speak of the acquaintance he made with me. It was another terrible midnight where I stared at it, in whichever spot it had chose for the night, contemplating the nature of such a gross presence and its effect on me. When, filled with a ridiculous exhaustion and exhasperation, I called out to it, “What do you want!” I saw a slight twitch in its head, which struck me with more surprise than fear, although I had both. “Do you know me?” It spoke in a low and growled voice. It had such a tone of malevolence and mocking speech, it even felt as if it spoke condescendingly, as if I was a child it was reducing to. “No.” I said, my breath failing me. “I knew your sister.” The demon stated with a snicker, which developed into a chuckle, then an intense and hearty laugh. He wailed and howled in laughter even, he sounded insane. Such a disgusting sound it was to hear its voice in the darkness so pleased with itself. It confused and frustrated me in fear greatly, and it became so loud and went on for so long I couldn’t stand it. “Shut up!” I yelled finally. It stopped laughing immediately. “But you know Javier, you know me too.” It spoke very seriously. I stared in bewilderment. “You’re guilty! You’re guilty! You love murder! Haha! You love yourself! You stroke huh?” The demon spoke without relent and enjoyed his own hilarity. “What the fuck?” I said in a trembled whisper. “Yea, you hate clothes, you little pathetic bitch.” It cackled.
I was roused again with the most extreme and unimaginable anger. I yelled my defense at him. He grew in laughter. I screamed any kind of profanity and slur I could think of at his station, and he only grew in volume with me. This went on until I finally arrived at my king accusation, which was finally enough to have it stir, “You’re a failure of creation!” He was silent for a moment. “What is it you know of creation?” It spoke with such a terrible and tremendous tone. “Are you worth any more than me? You’re subject to death the same. I’m a connoisseur of freedoms, yet, what are you? You are a slave of fear, scared of your own desires. And, even more so, subject to me.. As much as a mouse loses its life to the metal spring when it grabs cheese, so do you spoil by me.” “You speak nonsense!” I retorted “You’re very stupid, it’s difficult for you to grasp.”
Then, without much more deliberation, it simply began roaring with the most horrific and inhumane noises. It began screeching—it screeched with blood curdling yells and sorrow. It screamed as if it was lit on fire. At once, in the shadows, it began clawing at its own face. I heard sounds of ripping and tearing—with noises as if pounds of deli meat were slammed onto the cutting board. This was accompanied by an intense and putrid smell of rot, and I began weeping. This experience was more than I could bare, and I couldn’t describe to u what was unnaturally filled in my mind. This night felt as if i was never going to escape the moment, like the present moment was my eternity. This sight annoyed me to my soul for what seemed like hours, and I even conjectured to myself that this torture was eternal.
But soon, he did indeed cease. A gentle glow of orange illuminated the end of my bed. He stood before me, tall and with elegance in the light. He was skinned, his jaw dislocated, his face scratched bare and raw so that no features were pertruding. He was completely nude, with hooves and fur patches among his disfigured appearances. He wore this boldly with shame, yet, overcame it with overwhelming pride.
Such beauty it was to admire his stature. I could not help but gaze with wonder and pleasure. I must have admired him for a while, perhaps even hours. I became mad with lust for him, such a delicious sight he was! I should give up my other fruitless endeavors of life if I could just have the delight to taste him.
But just as I settled on my prospective bliss, my roommate entered the room. His yell of terror attacked my ears, interrupting us. Why scream? Why that hideous look on his face? What was he so scared of? What possessed him to be worthy of beholding any sort of indignation upon my beautiful companion? A little worm—that ugly little leech that dared breath the same air as us. “Get rid of it.” The demon told me, but I hardly needed a command to conceive of my goal.
Oh, what fun I had! It was like the first fresh sip of lemonade on a summer day! Like the sunshine that seeps through window seals—like the birds chirping in the dewy mornings. Like the adrenaline of a rollercoaster—the tickle of a drop. Like the intoxication that gives you belief of so much confidence. And to feel it on my hands? It was the joy of a child when he smashes his fingers into the moist sand—that innocent satisfaction of destroying a castle. Like the excitement of opening your favorite bag of chips—grabbing the ends and pulling the plastic with might until bursts open with goodies; yes, that’s what it was like for me to stick my thumbs deep into his eye sockets, and pull to open—if only I could. It was such, as when I bit down on his throat with all my might and sipped. It was indeed so, when I scratched and clawed till my nails came off, opening his chest and pulling at ribs like discarded hot wings, ripping at organs and intestines, pulling of nails, bending fingers two loops around, snapping his arms, smashing his head with my foot—but again my happiness was destroyed. For my companion had fled the scene, and he was no longer present. At once, I recovered some coherence and realized the tragedy of what I had done. How would I hide this? How could I discard of blood evidence all over me? How was he going to chip in on rent in this condition? I obviously had not calculated all the required considerations before doing such a thing. I was enraged by the black magic possessed by the demon, stupid, tricky, evil thing. So you see, it was his fault.

I’m genuinely curious why so many people despise drake, like he’s a rapper, too many people are too invested in his downfall. I saw people saying a weight was lifted off their shoulders after the beef. I saw people say they’ve hated him since 2009, 15 years of hating. What is the reason, like not this many people hate Taylor Swift, why specifically drake?

SYSTEM SPECS: OS: Microsoft Windows 11 Pro v10.0.22635 CPU: Genuinelntel 11th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-11800H @ 2.30GHz GPU #1: AMD Ellesmere [Radeon RX 470/480/570/570X/580/580X/590] (6GB GPU) GPU #2: Intel TigerLake-H GT1 [UHD Graphics] PHYSICAL MEMORY: 12.21 GB/15.75 GB
I’ve dropped another 100+ hours into Fallout 4 since the show, and since launch across Xbox and later PC I have 1,200+ hours total. Without looking up tonight I gave my wife directions through downtown Boston to get to Mass Fusion. She wasn’t wrapping the main quest, she just wanted a bobble head for her elaborate Sanctuary build.
Since I feel like I’ve done the vanilla quests too many times from too many angles, and looking for something that can make big changes to my game, especially from an RPG perspective.
I tried this myself, and had a functioning load order with 500ish mods covering changes to the dialogue, loads of new DLC sized quest mods, everything I could load into the workshop menu, with some texture, environment, and weather mods thrown in for spice.
Everything was going great as I was RPing an escaped gunner conscript building up Red Rocket into a safe base for himself, prepping for the inevitable Gunner attack somewhere in the commonwealth. I’d built a large warehouse (warehouse extended is fantastic) wrapping around the Red Rocket, with a loading dock home to my power armor and crafting stations, an indoor market area not dissimilar from the market in Rivet City, when I saw my wife using settlement mods I didn’t have because they were only on Bethesda and not on Nexus.
I downloaded those mods and brought them into Vortex, and that was the straw that broke the camels back. Started getting immediate CTD’s. Not wanting to give them up, I started reviewing crash logs and trying to find other issues I could fix while keeping the new ones. But after several hours of troubleshooting, updating settings, downloading drivers I could only get my save up and running with 12-15 FPS… in an untouched Sanctuary.
So I’m starting fresh. The role play is a Gunner conscript escapee trying to survive in the wasteland, constantly looking over his shoulder, before being brought into the Minutemen and deciding to do something more noble.
The foundation I was to build on is the following:

• Smoothout - 2024 FO4 Ultimate FPS and Optimization Guide
• Fall UI and all of its components - Be exceptional perk overhaul
• Extended Dialogue Interface
• Roleplayers extended dialogue
• Silent Protagonist
• Sim settlements 2

From that foundation I want to build out a new Commonwealth wasteland story for my self. I love building the bones of settlement and then using Sim Settlements to bring them to life.
Graphics and texture mods are nice, but if grab any I want to keep them light so I don’t tank my performance. I would like to use all the faction overhaul mods, and maybe something like War in the commonwealth, but I don’t know if that part of my prior issue.
Basically looking for mods that change the wasteland so I don’t think I know every ghoul waiting for me at a train station, and play nice together. I’m intrigued by the hunkered mod and “people live in series”.
I plan on doing America Rising 2, but what are a few other large quest line mods that I can include on this round? For my settlements I will use vanilla extensions and mods with decorated assets and prefab structures as much as I can. I don’t place every object, but I do build around a theme.
I prefer lore friendly, and I don’t need all the guns from every shooter of the past 10 years. Add one from other Fallout games or polish on what is already there are good for me.
I’ve had bad experiences with collections, but if there is a good one out there I’m not opposed to it.
Long story short I am trying to make an experience where I build a settlement for 12 hours, and then need a break from that and go in an adventure that is new to me. Because war never changes, but mod lists can.

⚠️ TW ED MENTION ⚠️
Kinda lengthy but if anyone has advice
I 19f have been on qelbree 200mg for 2 months now. I am so irritable since changing from Straterra 60mg. The way I’m acting is how I would act when I went periods unmedicated as a child. When I was younger and my symptoms/traits of autism/ADHD occurred I’d become very irritable when being woken up in the morning and would rage bad if I wasn’t left alone for 30 minutes minimum. When I get out of bed in the mornings now I can’t even turn the light on in the bathroom or it pisses me off. I used to have to have sunglasses when I was younger so I would actually leave my room in the mornings if the light was on and I’d get ready in the dark. When taking the Straterra it had my internal thoughts quiet and focused but my external was a wreck, my room was constantly messy and I couldn’t even be bothered to put my laundry away, or make myself do it on a day with free time. Now with qelbree it’s the opposite. My room is neat, I’m able to put my laundry away when I wash it, but my head is nerve wracking. I have thoughts that keep me up until 2 am everynight and I’m overly insecure about every conversation, sigh, bodily movement etc. I talked to my psych doctors nurse and when I expressed concern, and explained that it’s working kind of but it’s not and why am I so angry, and that I don’t wanna fall asleep at 2 am every night he said “atleast you’re getting 7 hours.” like bro im sleeping until most days 12-2 pm that’s not okay especially when I have things to do. And I don’t even know why I’m so angry about everything like today I got pissed because every frozen meal was chicken, and I like chicken that’s why every frozen meal is chicken it’s my go-to. Then im also experiencing some depersonalization I think. After I have these little rage episodes or if I look in the mirror too long I don’t recognize myself and feel fake and it really trips me out. Like today I was looking in the mirror after crying and didn’t recognize my face it kept distorting. Some days I just wake up and I feel fake and mindless. This has also restarted my ED terribly as for the first time when I was feeling fake and I mindlessly ate a whole pizza I purged right after and was met with panicked thoughts and euphoria. I go see my Psych Dr next Tuesday but idrk what to do and I’m worried he’s gonna do like his nurse and just send me on my way. I also don’t even know if it is the medication or if it’s me, it’s all very confusing. Any advice would be appreciated.

How many carriers do you own? I thought it was ridiculous that people on BST groups had "stashes", and now I own six!! I feel like they all have distinct purposes that I like them for. Plus I absolutely love carrying him and am soaking it up while it lasts.
Ergobaby Embrace: Absolutely loved this during the newborn stage. Cozy, cuddly, easy to put on. I wore it a bit too long after he outgrew it.
Integra Solar: Love this one. Ultra lightweight, perfect for warmer weather. The hood snaps into the shoulder straps, making it really secure and sun-protective. The side buckles are a little big, but otherwise love this one. The waistband is just thick webbing.
Ergobaby Omni: I wear this one hiking, I can wear it for hours and not get sore or uncomfortable. It's kind of bulky, but the support can't be beat. Love the lumbar support pad. Have recently started wearing it as a backpack too!
Sakura Bloom ring sling: Honestly haven't really got the hang of this yet. Started using it when my baby was older (5m), and I can see why people love it for little babies. I like having him in a hip carry, but I need more practice.
Sakura Bloom Scout (linen): My go-to for around the house, nice outings, or when we just want to be cozy and cuddly. Love how it it looks, and it's so comfy. I didn't get the leather or silk because I prefer low-maintenance. The hood design is lacking though, and I wish they offered silver hardware.
Sakura Bloom Onbuhimo: Quickly becoming a new favourite – back carry feels great and allows me to move a little more freely. First time getting him in and out were tricky, but I'm definitely getting faster. Haven't tried it in public yet (where I don't have a mirror or a bed just in case) but so far I love it.

I grew up hoping to animate for a major company like cartoon network or Disney. As I grew older and became more disillusioned with major corporations, I hoped to start my own animation studio. But now, as a 26 year old with a history of having panic attacks at work and very little experience animating, I realize even this is realistic. Especially considering that I haven't been able to get a an animation degree, had a lot of issues focusing enough to my schoolwork in on time and with school stress. Now I sit here having lost my job at yet another restaurant job, I wonder what my best path is. I do kinda wanna do art as a career, but speaking realistically, my brain doesn't seem like it'd handle the stress associated with most animation careers. Plus I've found I'm extremely satisfied when I work manual labor. I don't have to think to hard abt wat I'm doing and I just like seeing my hard work pay off in such a visible way as manual work does. In fact, one of my favorite past job was when I had a Christmas season job at UPS. I don't think I've felt as satisfied with a job as I was driving around the snow rural Midwest seeing all those lonely lil cabins, tiny lil townships near frozen lakes, and eating soup mid shift while talking about life with my driver companion. I'll be honest, I'm kinda torn here, is there a way I can make a balance between manual work and my creative ambitions?

This weekend, Ajax Budokan invited Kodokan 9th dan and former head of the Tokyo Police dojo, Michio Fukushima Sensei, to conduct a 4 hour clinic for Kodokan Goshin Jutsu. It was open to yellow belt and higher, though the majority consisted of Yudansha. My senseis had the honour of demoing the kata, as Fukushima Sensei's health did not permit presenting each technique multiple times, though he did show some of the finer details, demo mechanics, and gave comments as to what was good and displayed what could be fixed. He also talked about older versions of the techniques and how/ why they have been changed. Regretfully, it totally slipped my mind to film during the seminar, as there was a lot of good information, translated (and left untranslated) by the interpreter.
Some General Notes on Fukushima Sensei Fukushima Sensei on multiple occasions mentioned how one should carry themselves and move, more specifically he talked about how he usually sees toris get away with bad shisei as uke's attacks are generally to kind or passive, and that if they genuinely attacked, most toris would be off balance. Additionally he mentioned that a lot of IFJ competition now is power judo, where the technical aspects are replaced for brute force and speed.
The main note he makes is to keep the knees alive (slightly bent and bouncy like a spring), and that most novices have a tendency to straight leg their kata. He also made it a great point to explain the logic of the waza in the kata and how the kuzushi is created. Other important details he talked about were that uke shouldn't be a limp noodle once his attack is over, that tori should keep good sabaki (unclear if sabaki was short hand for tai sabaki as he also stated tai sabaki on different occasions (the details were paraphrased by the translator)), and the usage of rotation from the hips to maintain proper balance (tai sabaki). Additionally, he talked about things relating to karada (the body) and some anecdotes (such as stories about judoka such as Michigami, Isao Okano, and Nagaoka if I was hearing correctly, though I don't speak Japanese, only somewhat familiar with it), which were left untranslated or paraphrased sadly.
Emphasised details in the kata (not explanations or descriptions of how to do a technique) and my experiences (FYI Sensei mostly used the Tomiki names for the waza Tori applied)
Attacks when held

1. Ryote dori - my partner and I (both new to this kata for the most part) went in on this one and struggled as we didn't see the detail of thumb in hand for the lock (blind leading the blind, though we later worked near a kind pair after this who helped check more closely as they were experienced in the kata)
   1. Yahazu (hook shape for hand) is very important to direct uke's arm
   2. You aren't pulling the arm away to free it, you are pushing your elbow forward which pressures uke's arm
   3. Te gatana to the uto (point between uke's eyes)
   4. When applying the lock (te gatame), make sure to rotate uke's hand such that the fingers are pointing up
   5. When applying the lock, take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
2. Hidari eri dori - I particularly liked this one, though my uke was confused the first few times as he kept trying to apply waki gatame.
   1. Tori must grab underneath uke's hand on the lapel when stepping back
   2. When grabbing uke's hand to break the grip and apply the lock (kote hineri), tori should have his thumb in between uke's thumb and fingers, and to take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
   3. Uke should try to maintain jigo tai rather than lean so the lock is applied cleanly
   4. Tori's hand should not be limp when delivering the strike
3. Migi eri dori - I couldn't get kote gaeshi to work properly, will have to practice and ask my sensei about it later, same with my partner
   1. Tori should maintain a upright posture as uke pulls him forward, and use the landing of his foot to drive his hand for the uppercut to uke
   2. Tori should try to keep uke's hand attached to his centerline as he makes tai sabaki
4. Kata ude dori - My uke was very stiff, so applying the initial lock to him proved difficult, though he claims he felt it. I found this kata easy to remember as the legs go left right left right (step, step, tai sabaki, kick, then lead with the right for the lock)
   1. You are kicking with the side of the foot
   2. The step before the kick pivot around so your feet are almost parallel
   3. For waki gatame, you should be standing inside his feet, near parallel to the line perpendicular to his feet
5. Ushiro eri dori - I had experience with this one as sensei had taught during some free time a while back
   1. The parry with the arm was stated to also be the preferred way to receive punches, though take that as you will (though it is a common method in karate as well)
   2. The strike should be to the suigetsu (solar plexus)
   3. Trap uke's hand with your head so that it can't wiggle all over the place when applying the lock
6. Ushiro jime - My partner and I both had a tendency to lift the shoulder off after spinning out, will have to work on that. I will be honest, had I known this escape, I probably would have come out of an incident a few years back (before I started Judo) rather unscathed as I was jumped and then kicked on the ground by a person who was quite a pain.
   1. The attack and initial defence are identical to that of katame no kata, following which tori rotates out
   2. Keep pressure with your shoulder until your grip has been changed
7. Kakae dori - We didn't have enough mat space to finish the throw without running into other groups, but the technique is surprisingly effective. Though I couldn't initially find out how to do the armlock and had to ask my sensei about it, now it's pretty easy.
   1. Rotate the arm away from you (clockwise from your perspective) and pull uke's arm into you
   2. During the initial stomp, straighten up and raise your arms to loosen uke's grip

Attacks when at a distance - I got less time to try these in general as I wanted my partner to get a feel for them as they are a bit more complicated and he is less experienced

1. Naname uchi - this was a fun situation, it shows how a little bit of atemi can be used to setup a randori waza, and Fukushima Sensei complimented my senseis' performance saying that it was better than the current text book
   1. Te gatana is used to redirect the strike
   2. Osoto otoshi is performed
   3. Pushing the arm through is important to create the kuzushi necessary for the waza
2. Ago tsuki - I didn't actually get a chance to try this one more than once as my partner struggled with it, he kept applying a shoulder lock by pushing on the elbow without the redirect with the thumb up (shoulder is still sore)
   1. when directing uke's attack up and away, do not lean back as then you are unstable
   2. Use yahazu to direct uke's elbow toward his ear
   3. As uke will not like this use the moment after releasing the elbow lock to throw him forward in the direction perpendicular to his feet.
3. Gammen Tsuki - My partner really liked this one, I can see the uses as I've used similar entries when messing around with strikes + judo with this partner as I have a bit of karate experience
   1. Uke is meant to do a break fall, thus tori needs to get out of the way after releasing the choke
   2. Uke should realistically be aiming for where tori's uto would be if he did not evade
4. Mae Geri - this was a relatively easy one to grasp, but quite a bit of practice is needed before a full force kick can be considered
   1. Rotate ukes foot outwards so that it is not easy for him to rotate in to escape
   2. In the original, tori would lift uke's leg high but many ukes ended up injured from hitting their heads, so now tori just pushes back
5. Yoko geri - My sensei has introduced this one at the dojo before as well, though he prefaced it with about a minute of just practicing a side kick. My partner (who suffers from light knee pain) couldn't kneel during the finish
   1. The use of the te gatana to redirect the kick in the direction it is going, very similar to karates low block
   2. During the finish tori creates a void for uke to be thrown but in real life tori would throw uke onto his knee

Attacks with weapons - I understand people dislike these (reasonably in some cases), but I've found them to be useful points to explore
Attacks with a knife - Sensei Fukushima mentioned how despite my senseis making it look easy
Both my partner and I have practiced these quite a lot (I was the only one who was taught it by sensei but we practiced it on our own time), so not as many personal notes. Though I don't have a good experience so my brain switches to serious and my heart rate increases despite the fact that I know these are fake weapons.

1. Tsukkake
   1. The elbow should be pushed forward (I've actually experimented with this in the past by asking uke to try to stab me as I applied the defence, and we've found after the initial push and strike, tori is in a relatively good position, be it to run away or finish the kata)
   2. Push the locked up arm up and towards uke, then guide him to the ground
2. Choku zuki - I struggled to apply the waki gatame, I'm guessing it was control of the wrist that was the problem, this form is relatively straight forward and makes sense
   1. The strike should not be a boxer style punch, but more like the first punch in szkt
   2. uke should not go limp
   3. when moving away from uke, take him perpendicular to the line between his feet
3. Naname Zuki - Personally I think this form is cutting it close in many regards, but the control tori has is quite surprising
   1. Don't grab the blade from the sharp edge

Attacks with a jo - PSA, no matter how much you trust your uke, mistakes happen (especially with such a solid weapon) so remain vigilant to mitigate damage

1. Furi age - this was a relatively easy technique to grasp as it is an application of O soto gari setup with a palm strike to the chind
   1. Tori should enter as soon as uke begins to raise his arm, almost a preemptive entry
   2. Tori strikes at the ago (chin) with a palm strike, then places his hand on the throat for the throw
2. Furi oroshi - My partner leant into the swing and wacked me on the forehead, it could've been worse but it just grazed the outer layer as I saw the jo come closer after my initial retreat and attempted to turn out of the way. Both a PSA for tori and uke. Tori do not keep your eyes off uke, and uke please don't lean into a swing, you are horribly off balance, and you make it harder for tori to read. Also uke don't speed up when you 2 are learning (I don't know why my partner chose too...)
   1. Do not hop back onto one leg and then towards uke with the other, it leads you to have bad posture
   2. Better to make a big retreat than get hit
   3. 2 strike, one ura ken (back fist), followed by knife hand push
   4. Uke's swing should be at a diagonal
3. Morote zuki - I didn't get to practice this one as my partner was taken a bit aback after the previous incident and couldn't get the steps right for this one. Fukushima Sensei mentioned something along the lines of how a judoka was faced with a juken and couldn't figure out what to do, and thus this form was created to address that.
   1. Tori shouldn't be rowing the jow away to shake throw uke
   2. The arm puts pressure on uke's arm forward
   3. Tori should be trying to angle the jo down towards himself after the initial grab

Attacks with a gun - I struggled with all of these, but I think the principles are relatively sound. Though in real life, I'd most likely give up my valuables. Fukushima Sensei emphasised hip rotation in these movements, as he says that you want to direct the gun away without moving your feet, which is what uke would be seeing when looking at your pocket.
Always make sure to begin your defence after uke is clearly focused on checking your pockets, never when his focus is directly on you

1. Shomen Zuke
   1. Grab the barrel of the gun thumb up
   2. During the disarm, push the gun's muzzle to face towards him
2. Koshi Gamae - I kept getting the second hand wrong and thus the barallel was pointed towards me in the final attack, will need to work on that
   1. Grab the barrel of gun initially with the thumb down with your right hand, and push the gun so that it is horizontal after turning left, then grab the gun from below with your right
   2. make sure to not point the gun at yourself when hitting with the butt
3. Haimen Zuke - this is quite a dangerous move in theory, but also one of the more likely ones
   1. Wrap uke's arm with your arm, but make sure to direct the muzzle up with the free arm
   2. [uke] should let go of gun, as this is a hard breakfall

Overarching and repeated themes in the kata

• The use of yahazu to direct the arm rather than grips
• Keeping uke's hand connected to your centerline when applying kansetsu waza
• te gatana is a useful tool to redirect and or strike the opponent quickly
• During the gun portion, always rotate the gun off your centerline, so that even if it does fire, it doesn't penetrate too deep
• Control the gun by the muzzle
• most finishes are done by guiding uke perpendicular to the line in between his feet
• Do not directly oppose an opponents force
• Maintanence of balance at all times and moving from the hips is key
• Uke should attack meaningfully
• Action reaction is used quite a lot to first lock uke up towards his face, so that when he pushes back he is easily lead away

Overall, it was quite a good event, and I learned a lot. This kata isn't the most realistic with the attacks (though apparently a few people I know have used the ryote dori attack shockingly), but what I've learned so far is relatively sound, hopefully some time soon I can convince my partner to do some live resistance sparring with some gear on (which I have done with the knife portion with a plastic knife). Fukushima Sensei had a lot to say, as he was actively discussing his experiences and koshiki no kata after the seminar with another Japanese speaker, and I hope to be able to attend another one of his classes again someday.
Here are some videos featuring Michio Fukushima from a few years back, both where he was actively demoing, and where he had a slightly more corrective position.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1253474818155243
https://youtu.be/VKgdMJS9eck?si=bGMemLfG9aquAHr1

i love all music, i can bet you we overlap somewhere. we can talk 60s psychadelic, brit invasion, 60s/70s classic rock, 70s folk, disco, 80s new wave n punk rock, 90s grunge, 90s brit pop, y2k garage rock, some modern alt-ish hip hop stuff here & there. personally really obsessed with arctic monkeys and the beatles they've been my favorites for a while. my spotify is in my bio if you wanna see or you can just dm me about playlists or songs or whatever!
i like to do music-based art also, so if you're an artist that's super cool and we can talk about that too
(fyi I'm finishing up AP testing this week so I might be slow to respond but i'll get there, I just felt like making this post tn idk)
p.s. send guitar pics I'll swoon

I'm (46f) 9 months out from the mutual decision to end a 20 year marriage with my ex. The last three years were very rocky; he was my best friend but, as time has passed, I have come to accept that we both brought a lot of toxic behaviors into our relationship.
Lately, I've been entering the stage in my recovery where I'm working on holding myself accountable for the shitty things I did, like controlling behaviors, jealousy, and an inability to set boundaries. I think where I'm struggling is whether and how to let go and move on. I've already apologized to my ex since we decided to separate, but I feel this urge to keep apologizing every time I have an epiphany about my part in ending our marriage.
At the same time, I think it's very codependent behavior to want to shoulder all the blame even though, as I said before, we both behaved in toxic ways. I don't want to stay stuck in dwelling on the past and holding on to things I can't undo, but I'm not exactly sure how to forgive myself and move on, either.

This has been going on for months, maybe a year. I cannot lay on the right side and it's hard for me to sit down properly because of the pain in my groin. My whole body begins vibrating/ throbbing and I get a tinnitus in my right ear. It feels like the whole right side of my body is tense/ bruised, especially in the groin and hip area, lower back and flank, going up the neck and to the temple, inner corner of eye/ nose. My right shoulder is also a lot more sore than the left. It feels like someone punched me in the hip. My right knee is also extremely painful sometimes and under I'm always sore under my right foot.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and was hoping that someone has had this happen to them and knows what it is or how to make it better 😥

We reflect the senses of God to the mind and the senses of the mind to God. It's a link between the two like how twins can sometimes perceive the same sensations through each others senses. When you look in a mirror you hear your own voice reflected through your voice box and mouth to your own ears and both the reflection in the mirror share the same qualities, which includes the same frequencies you perceive as a human being. Presummuably this would mean the same scents and tastes too. In the manner of a dream you would be able to feel the same physical sensations using your limbs and other parts of your body. In a grand scale this is to say that just as you are sensing through your own 5 senses (well sometimes the thoughts are a 6th) you are in the same sense able to feel what others feel and should be able to do so indirectly through your mind and intuition. There have even most recently been studies that have proved precognition and telepathy. Here's a Youtube video that talks about it. Study on Precognition Has Some Interesting Results - Squaring the Circle: A Randall Carlson Podcast.
I'm looking forward to a near future where people drop their materialistic views as both researchers and laypeople and just see reality as it is because there really is no denying what is. I also fantasize about a time where it can be common to discuss philosophy and spirituality as easy as people discuss memes and other popularized things. And on another note I recently saw that the Pope has started to acknowledge the wrong doings of the Catholic Church and started to accept more forgiving and unconditional perspectives on all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds. The Catholics apparently hate it and they think that he's the devil, but I think it's just a collective mind of group thinking that's had a hardening of a cocktail of projection, denial, insecurities about their self-image, and judgement of others without ever truly being able to accept themselves. Their minds are afraid that they'll become something horrible if they accept something or someone perfectly fine as they are. All in the name of what's "good" and not in the name of "love". (Sorry for the ranting at the end. I had gotten distracted and then came back to add my ideas to the post).
I also feel like the West and the East are mixing in more and more through the media, music, popculture, and anime as well. While it may not look like it on a greater scale I've seen some patterns in multiple aspects of both sides of the world like certain words being put in the oxford dictionary, anime being more normalized in the West, video games including anime DLC or skins, music in Japan taking a lot of influence from Hip-hop and rap, anime live actions getting non-anime fans interested in anime, more discussion about open-minded topics because of these abstract and Eastern ideas that teach lessons through anime, which could lead to further curiousity about it's origins and how stories like Journey to the West by Wu Cheng'en and the abridged version by Auther Waley as "Monkey" influenced Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball (Rest in peace), which has Taoism, Confucianism, and some Buddhism. If people knew about this and with the growth of psychedelic awareness and psychology I feel like eventually they'd come around to non-duality and how there is a harmony to everything and we just all need some love and peace. (rambiling again sorry...)

Just a warning. I can tell the new mods won't like seeing that crap. They will probably send it off to Animal Rights Activists and get you harassed online. They are looking over your shoulder every day...just be careful what you post. The reason they havent been posting much is they are figuring out how to tell users like Cait or Goblin to get rid of their voles or that new voles aren't welcome here anymore. They are just such pussies they will never admit that outright.
Hey i even named Baby Schrimp Scampy! But if you don't want anything to do with me and you like the new owners better - that's great! Good for you! Next time I see you at the store you better be ready to fight! I'm not kidding I will kick anyones ass in public especially any of the weak users on the forum - I am not afraid of a single fucking one of you! LOL!... If anyone it would be Roy but even then I think its a fair fight.

Once you get a bad injury in the hip or arm or something does it never really go back to baseline? Can I not make a full recovery? I’m struggling so much because I have done something horrible to my hip it’s been in so much pain and clicking for the past month after a half marathon that I shouldn’t have run I wasn’t training but I didn’t know I had HEDS (it was still dumb). Whatever is wrong with my hip is causing nerve pain (PN) and constant pelvic pain that is severe (PGAD). I can’t handle PGAD in the slightest. Even when it’s 1/10 pain it’s the worst. I have sciatica and a ton of other issues that are painful and can cope with those but not PGAD. With EDS.. can I not fully recover from an injury like this? That would mean id always have PGAD which I really really can not do. Normal nerve pain and burning is fine but not PGAD.

Hey all, I just wanted some insight of what I should do. About 1 week ago me (27m) and my now ex (28f) broke up. We only dated for a hot minute, 1 month. We were in constant contact daily (she wanted me to keep intouch especially if I was at work). And everyother day we were together in person. We met through work I'm a firefighter, she's in law enforcement. When we were together she'd tell me things that she's said she had either never opened up about. But how easy it was to open up with me. Everything was going great. She liked my no bs about the future. We agreed what both of our intentions were LTR with marriage and kids etc. Like I said, all was going great.
One day she wanted me to meet her best friend (30f). I agreed, we went to the best friends house together. The friend had a kid that kept going around hitting the women (8m) and I stopped him. Basically saying that behavior isn't tolerated and I'm not going to allow it. I then told him to apologize, which he did. All else was going well. By my 3rd drink I said it was going to be my last one. But I seen my gf and her friend opened another bottle of wine so I had another 2 beers. Later in the night my gf told me she wanted to spend the night so she could watch her best friends son soccer game in the am. It's not what I wanted, but thinking all was well I went along with it. We kissed, I left.
After I got home I texted her saying I had a good time and enjoyed her company. I also apologized if she felt like I shouldn't of driven because I drank 2 more beers 5 total in 5 hours than I said I would. She said she had a good time too and enjoyed my company. She ignored the part that I mentioned about alcohol.
Fast forward, next day. I'm at work, she's more cold and distant. It takes her significantly longer to get back to me than normal. And she doesn't want to talk about yesterday. Eventually I get super anxious feeling something is off and message her saying "I know something is bothering you, we've had conversations in the past and both agreed that if this is the case we would hash it out so we don't hold it against one another. So we can either communicate like adults like we've agreed. Or throw in the towel (figure of speech)."
She ended up replying immediately saying that I immediately went to "throwing in the towel " and how I must not care about her or our relationship. So being what I said she wanted to break up, because screw me.
Me regretting my choice of words tried to backtrack saying that's not what I meant. She said I was right something is bothering her from last night but she didn't want to have this conversation with me being that I'm at work. And hoped I would do the same if she was because she has a gun on her hip.
She said she noticed two things yesterday she didn't like. 1. I talked to much about work. 2. Drinking more than I said I would (this bothered her because of her past of getting a dui). She then said because of those two things she didn't want a relationship anymore with me. Because "That's your personality, and I don't want you to change because of me. I want you to change because of you". I said I'd change because I wanted too. She wouldn't listen. She said she was too mad at me to continue our relationship and that we're done.
Later that day I reached out, she agreed to let this go. But was still being cold and distant, less available. Canceling all of our future plans and having excuses.
So, I reached out again telling her how much I like her and how I absolutely adore and & love her (I've said this in the past and she said she feels the exact same way. Just feels too soon to say it back).
She then says she needs space, isn't ready for a relationship, that someone like me hurt her before. That we're on separate paths right now and she doesn't want me anymore. She ended the conversation saying we'll talk about this at a later date. But she wants time to focus on herself.
The next day I noticed she recorded or FaceTimed my snap story and then unfriended me on snap.
We've been on NC for the last week. I genuinely do want her back. I don't know what I should do, or say. Or if I should at all.. It hurts and sucks. Looking for what you all think of this. What I should of done differently. Thank you for your time!
tdlr relationship ended after a poor choice of words

From 2021- early 2023, I ran about 20-30 mpw and did numerous 5k, 10k, and half marathon races. Always ran a 10k or more each weekend. I say this to note that I have a base fitness.
In early 2023 I had an accident and broke my femur in half. Due to some additional issues that arose with my hip/abductors, it took me about 9-10 months to recover. I ran my first 5k on one year to the day since the accident. Woo hoo!
I’ve been doing well with running, jogging outside in our hilly neighborhood, about 10-12 mpw. Strength training interspersed. I’ve done several 4 mile runs and felt comfortable, not sore. A few twinges here and there but loosens up once I get going.
My question is: I have a 10 miler in 3 weeks, which was a deferral of the race the previous year. It has snuck up on me. Given my previous fitness, is it safe/advisable to build up from running about 12 mpw to running 10 mi on one day in 3 weeks? (Assuming I am not going for time?) Or should I just cut my losses and look to the half I have coming up in the fall? I’d like to do it if I can, and can deal with some temporary soreness, but don’t want to jeopardize my continued recovery. Thanks for any input.

I work in a canteen serving at the front which obviously includes stirring the trays of food, serving it up but i also wash too which involves scrubbing.. The usual..
I weight lift in the gym and started noticing front shoulder impingement /soreness in the same arm i use to dish up food, stor and scrub. Haven't hac this issue for years.
Been working here 8 months so as essy as it is to blame it on the heavy weights how common is it to get thos from this job?
The chef says his hurts too in both and around the pecs but he doesn't train like i do in the gym. As rare as it is He does do all the jobs i do to help out though.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Glitter_Mask
AITAH for not cooking for my husband's friend?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: Manipulation, misogyny
Original post May 4, 2024
So I 24F got off work a bit ago. My husband 24M had some friends over playing card games for the evening and I knew that before I got home.
I came home and saw they had ordered pizza and I don't overly like that pizza brand (dominoes is nasty imo) so I said hi to everyone and started making a frozen ramen. Now my frozen ramen are from a local place and are delicious and not very cheap, but they are my favorite lazy meal.
So I was standing at the stove making my ramen and one of my husband's friends, Brian (fake name) started saying it smelt good. I replied that yes it is delicious and he should try them out sometime but they are pricey (about 16 CAD each). As it kept cooking he just kept saying things like "man that smells good" and "I'd kill for some ramen right now" and such. I just eventually told him that they run a special of buy 10 get 1 free (as I said they are fancy ramen, and very filling). He then said "Oh so you have more? Could you cook me one?"
Honestly I was put off by that. I had just worked for 8 hours and I had told him they aren't cheap.
I said "Well no, they are kind of my thing. I really recommend trying them out though". He clearly got a bit angry and had stopped their game at this point. He said "well its kind of unfair you are making one for yourself then and not making one for a guest. You should have just had pizza."
To be fair at this point my husband and the other guys stepped in and told Brian to chill out. My husband also told Brian that it was my food and I don't like the pizza.
It was pretty awkward and once my ramen was heated I took it to my desk in the other room and started typing this out. I was admittedly eavesdropping and I heard Brian leave shortly after I came to my desk.
I'm really wondering if I should have just made him a ramen because I feel the atmosphere of my husband's group might be ruined because of me.
So. AITAH for not cooking for my husband's friend?
Small update, the rest of the friends left, and husband came to talk to me. He apologized for Brian's behavior and explained that after I left, Husband asked Brian what his problem was. Brian said "whatever let's get back to the game" they all sat in discomfort for about 5 min, then Brian just got up and left. The rest of the gang finished the game, and then they went home. According to Husband, the group agreed that Brian was acting weird and rude. One of the guys volunteered to check on him tomorrow and tell him to apologize to us. So I'll update on that tomorrow, I guess. lol.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
deathtoallants

NTA. Brian should’ve written down the name of the store/brand and flavor on a memo so he could go buy it later. This might be pushing it, but at most he could’ve asked for one bite on a small plate so he can at least taste test it before committing to buying 10 portions of an expensive ramen.
I’ve never heard of frozen ramen. Wtf

OOP

The store is a ramen restaurant and they simply sell their fancy homemade ramen as frozen for a few bucks cheaper. It is just noodles, meat (spicy chicken in my case), broth, and some veggies. Honestly I could make it at home but I'm lazy lol.
But I'm really relieved to see people saying I'm nta. I was getting really into my own head as I was sitting here so that's for the judgement

Update May 5, 2024
Hi all! I was very overwhelmed with the responses to the post. I was honestly just working myself up last night and needed to vent somewhere, I didn't really expect such a response. Thank you all for judgements, it was helpful.
Anyways to the update. Sorry it took the whole day, a lot happened.
The other friend that went to check on Brian, (Sam again fake name) tried calling him in the morning and didn't get a reply. Eventually Sam went to Brian's place and asked to talk.
Sam said it basically went down as him saying,
"You were being weird as hell with ME, what was that"
"I just didn't want dominoes and you guys didn't listen to me. I just wanted other food."
Sam and my husband also say that when the group was discussing food and one of them said just get dominoes, Brian didn't say any objection.
Sam then told him along the lines of "okay well you need to apologize to Husband and I"
Brian then said "yeah I'll apologize to husband"
Most of you readers will pick up what Sam picked up on, Brian didn't want to apologize to me.
Sam told him he mostly needed to apologize to me, it was me he spoke to and me he was rude to.
Brian then told him he'll "think about it" and asked Sam to leave.
Sam then came over and told us the conversation and I started writing the update for you guys.
As I started writing Brian called husband. He was talking very rushed, and I could hear him almost a room away.
"Yeah I'm sorry for last night. I don't think I want to attend game nights at your house though. I don't get along with Me"
Husband started getting kind of heated at that point, because Brian was talking very rapidly, like in a panic almost.
The argument kind of dissolved into a lot of what the comments brought up, my husband asking him was his problem was, is he just that misogynistic, why was he acting this way and such.
Husband said that Brian didn't really make sense during the "talk", making weird comments about other significant others of the guys (some of them are gay or poly), talking about the guys not 'sharing their time', and 'they (I assume he was talking about me and other partners) always ruin the energy and I can never enjoy the time with everyone".
Husband was a bit to angry to ask more and just told him to get himself sorted out and not to come over again.
The other guys are more concerned and think Brian is having a manic episode or is getting into Andrew Tate, as Brian is the last single one of them group. My husband kind of doesn't care through and told them to not involve him in Brian's issues.
For me I kind of don't know what to make of it. I feel bad for my husband because he is very stressed after it all. This isn't his only friend group but he has known these guys for many years. I think most commenter clocked it correctly, he is misogynistic and was just angry at my existence.
I doubt there will be another update, husband wants to step away from the whole thing for now. So thank you all again and have a good night!
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Well...I finally got my first corticosteroid shot. Anterolisthesis l5-s1, 8mm slip with bulging discs all the way up the L vertebrae. I had a "flare up" of pain, stiffness, and immobility 3 weeks ago...felt like my body was broken in half and every rib was out of place. Hands are numb, and my right leg is numb and goes weak out of the blue, and my right glute is clenched tight. I have fallen dozens of times, but managed to keep from addition inuries to all but my pride and a slightly sprained right shoulder.
So far, only change is a dull ache and stiffness around the injection side, and my right glute has finally unclenched. I really hope this works...I really need to get back to work.
Let me assure anyone worried about this procedure, however, it took 5 minutes apart from waiting after check-in and waiting after for them to be sure of no major side effects. The needle hurt less than most immunizations or blood draw, and most of the immediate pain was from the actual material injected...that swollen feeling is unusual to say the least, but weirdness aside the pain was actually quite tolerable. If it works, I would strongly recommend it....will update this post in a week, to share progress.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Complex-Wing7114
I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband
Originally posted to offmychest
Thabks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, threats, abusive behavior, stalking
Original Post Apr 27, 2024
Throwaway account as my husband and In-laws are follow my main. I, 29 F, have been married to my husband, 30 m, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable.
Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well.
He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's "in charge" of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day.
Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I wear a tracker so he could keep and eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and his family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off.
He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this?
Edit: oh my god you guys are amazing! I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no fault divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet thankfully.
Update Apr 28, 2024
So I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be 'hiding' things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However when he begins to then double check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talked to and what I said. Did I send any text msgs, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse overtime.
All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of are related gardening and diy so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explained things to my manager. And they promised to look into openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account us secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath.
I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat. I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or i'm still gonna be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop and all of his electronics before I do.
I've met with 2 lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it did it have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close the fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children, and not as a hypothetical. Like several hair suggested I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him.
There are 3 other locations. My job could send me to and I have. As a precaution Begun looking into all 3 cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own. I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job.
Unfortunately all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, i've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise all update when my work gets back to me. I do plan on leaving before he returns, though. Just to make sure that i'm not anywhere near here at that time.
Update 2 Apr 30, 2024
Good news! My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking MIL to show me his favorite recipes.
Meanwhile, I've found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm. The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm.
I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon, and I will be flying out once the weather has cleared enough to do so. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind.
My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean thankfully. No other electronic aside from my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anythings amiss until after I leave - and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in.
Update 3 May 7, 2024
Update 3: I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband.
It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment. It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hail everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left.
My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through.
I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this.
I'm... doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order. I also need to find a new GP as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kinda thought it would be easier once I got out of the house but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown.
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I need advice. Wife drank today before driving my two kids
For a few months I have started realizing that my wife drinks more than I believe is safe and acceptable. Drinking 1-2+ bottles a night, most days a week.
She would get noticeably drunk one or two nights a week, sometimes to the point of her not remembering everything or even making sense when I would try to talk to her.
Needless to say I’ve been attempting to help her. Tried setting some boundaries and asked her not to drink two nights a week and never more than a bottle or whatever she was drinking before.
She couldn’t do it, and I started realizing she had been hiding it from me. Drinking during day when I’m at work, hiding bottles of wine in trash and making no trace of her drinking.
I have had a few ‘blow ups’ with empty threats at this point hoping she would come around, and thought things were ok for the last week or two but today happened….
I found she had drank 3/4 a bottle of wine before 2pm, and drove our 10mo old out to pick up our 4 year old from school and out for errands.
Never have I thought she would cross this line (obviously my fault..) and I have been furious and confused all afternoon.
She doesn’t understand the problem, doesn’t want to accept that I am as mad as I am for some reason.
What do I do?
I threatened to leave with the kids or have her leave, but she isn’t phased. I don’t want to cause huge problems for our family and bring others into this.
I am at a loss for what to do, and she keeps turning it around on me like I am the bad guy watching over her shoulder.

In January my husband [35] and I [30] [together 6 years] decided it was time for a divorce. There were many reasons. But all that really matters is we no longer loved each other. I felt relief and I think he did too. There are no children or major assets to divide. The only complication was that he would be immigrating back to his home country and our self employment together would end. He stayed until I found a basic job and settled into it.
We both cried plenty in January. Then it became easier. He took charge of all the house work and cooking, I think mostly out of guilt, but it helped a lot as my new job has been physically demanding.
My family, as expected, had little to say on the matter and offered no warm words. I have told some friends but none of them can relate, though I don’t know what you can say to someone in my shoes regardless.
He leaves in the morning. He came up to my home office to say goodbye a couple hours ago, he’d obviously been crying. I was totally frozen. I couldn’t stand up or speak, I just sat at my desk and stared at him. Since then I’ve not been able to stop crying. I don’t know what I’m feeling, I’m not sad or angry, I think, I’m honestly happy it’s ending and I don’t want him to stay but I can’t stop crying.
If I get to sleep, he will be gone once I wake.