i actually cannot remember the last time my mother hasn’t called me for her every need repeatedly in a day. once she’s home from work i’m on duty, whether i was in class, working, or fighting poor mental health battles all day beforehand,,, and i’ve known that favor since i was a child. i sincerely think this only got so bad because for a long time it was just me and her, and basically still is anyway, so she just always expected me to get up and do whatever WHENEVER simply because i’m listening to her.
now though at this point i’m almost 19, just trying to get through school without friction because my personal life is demanding enough. but now i’m beyond the point of losing my head in a normal manner about this.. because why the fuck am i being bothered multiple times a day by someone with fully functioning limbs? mother or not, me offering to get something for you or not-don’t drag it.
we all have enough discernment to know when we’re simply just taking advantage of generosity and someone’s inability to say “no”/ “do it yourself”—especially if we’re in a position like a mom over her kid, no matter the age.
i’m actually so frustrated because, after coming home from 3-4 hour lectures (per class where i’m physically working/standing) and taking shitty, unreliable nyc trains home (the ‘seemingly purposely adding 30 minutes to your hour commute after a horrible day’ type), i will STILL end up finding myself warming up plates of food for her. then while thats heating up to her specific temperature, i gotta do something else for her. right after handing her the plate with a fork and napkin, “can you get me a drink too?” very occasionally remembers to say please at the end.
but don’t let me step in her room after that, it’ll STILL shamelessly be “can you refill my glass”or “can you pass the ice cream?”half an hour could pass after all that, but god forbid her spider senses tingle and i start getting ready to even BREATHE around the person i’m otp with, HERE SHE GO CALLING MY FUCKING NAME YET AGAIN. genuinely every time, the calling me away from my own shit is getting so bad it’s making me look like i can’t even sit longer than 5 seconds. especially if, between her asking something from me, i still have to tend to my own needs—which delays me putting my energy where i want to during MY hard earned leisure time cause i’m backed up doing everything for her and then myself.
her basically beckoning me away from phone calls with friends and romantic interests isn’t even so much embarrassing—it’s just inconvenient, inconsiderate and eats away at my PERSONAL time as an individual to be around people that aren’t her or the other family member i live with. i already do not get peace, nor quiet, living in a living room of a household where the other two people make as much noise as they want to (usually directly in front of me) without any regard to whether or not i could even value silence at that moment for a multitude of actually important reasons.
then if i get annoyed at them visibly ruining my mood or the comfort of my space—by crushing the trash in the trashcan, or leaving yet another dish in the sink with me being able to hear it knowing i’m likely gonna end up washing them—then it’s like I’M being a bitch in their eyes.
i must be fucking losing it guys wtff 😕

Could anyone advise what's the best way to use talcum powder to the perimeter of the formicarium?
My Lasius Niger colony is starting to build up its numbers now and feeding them is becoming quite a chore with escapees.
I can't seem to work out what sort of talc is best or what type of alcohol would be best to use with the powder as well. I'm in the UK so if anyone knows any particular brands/products that can be purchased in the UK it would be most appreciated.
Thank you

Wade took a breath as he picked up his old duffel bag, now loaded with his DD uniform and a few other items from the Ceres mines as he slotted it to his side, with the large band handle around his neck. Having gathered his belongings, he joined Tina, who was waiting near the ship's open bay door as he walked over to her. The couple watched several of the other troopers inside marching out as well, some carrying crates of supplies and items out of the craft as they departed for the base outside. Kelly was one of the last ones still on board, checking on a section of the cargo bay as she did what Wade presumed was some maintenance work.
With the way now clear, Wade and Tina stepped off the transport, glancing at the massive base around them as they touched the roughened pavement. Throughout the large landing port were several more chameleon dropships, their crews disembarking with similar items and loads of rescued drones aboard. Beyond the ships were several hangar bays and fighter craft, mostly A-20s and their space-borne cousins docked in lines going across the pad. And beyond the landing zone, towering over several buildings at the base, were the few cruisers docked to the large clamps holding them in place.
Walking ahead with Tina, Wade observed some of the departing Coalition troops as they neared one of several tents stationed near an inactive group of planes, the military personnel interacting and exchanging the crates with the Coalition officers upon reaching each other. Hearing a low roar of engines from afar, the lover drones looked upward to see the large USN warship that was present at the factory earlier, having followed the transport convoy home and now was beginning to descend for landing. Wade gave a silent gasp as he caught a glimpse of the ship's name and SIC number at the side, remembering it from the ship he and Ron saw while returning to Earth.
"Always a wondrous thing to see, isn't it Wade?" Tina said as she and her boyfriend watched the ship slowly come lower to the unoccupied dockyard clamps below it.
"Sure is, wonder how they built those babies?" Wade replied as the two looked upon the landing starship, the former worker drone smirking as he added, "I could've swore I saw that same exact ship over Henderson when Ron and I came back, before we got mugged earlier."
Tina glanced to Wade with surprise as she spoke up on his claim. "Really? Well, that had to be the one that helped our friends here back at the factory. I think I saw the same name on it too!"
"Wouldn't surprise me, seeing all that's happened today." Wade replied as he chortled a bit, Tina doing the same as the former spoke further. "I wonder, what kind of ship is the... Vickers again? You know?"
"Autumn class, dear. A heavy destroyer variant, not as strong as those enormous Yamato dreadnoughts or Adelaide battlecruisers, but she'll put up a good fight for whatever comes at her." Tina explained as she held back another chuckle, thinking of her education on various USN craft as she teased Wade lightly. "You know, I may just have to grab one of those ship roster tabs when we get in the base. I'd love to show you all they got in their arsenal."
Wade chortled again as he gave his thoughts on the idea. "Well, it wouldn't be bad to have a little more knowledge in ship-story."
Tina almost burst out laughing at his crude pun, Wade smiling at her as F and Nathan jogged over to the two, the latter carrying his own backpack behind him as he spoke. "Well, not a bad place, huh? You guys heading to the clearance station?"
"Oh yes, we were just admiring the ships around us while we walked." Tina said with a stifled laugh, easing herself as she chatted with her new friends. Wade, however, was quickly overcome with panic as he remembered something. Checking his pockets, his fears were confirmed as he failed to find one of his key possessions: his ID card. Wade felt he must have lost it when he was stripped of his old clothing while in the factory.
Oh no, guys? I don't think I can pass through." Wade said with greenish-yellow circles for eyes as Tina and the others looked to him in concern, the drone feeling through his pockets once more before stating his issue. "My ID, they must've taken it off me when they turned me into a disassembly drone!" Wade began to hyperventilate lightly as he grew fearful of the potential outcomes when they reached the security gate ahead. "Oouuugghh, if I don't have my ID, they'll have to keep me lo-"
"Wade, Wade... it's okay. I'll have them make a pass for you, surely we can get them to after getting them to understand what's happened." Tina stated as she put her hand to Wade's chest, who eased his panic as he looked to his girlfriend.
"Yeah, and besides Wade, those people over there went around gathering what ever items the company stole from the drones during their conversion. I'm sure that once they find it, they'll have it sent off to be given back to you!" Nathan said as F nodded in agreement, shunting Wade's panic out of him with their words as he replied to the hopeful responses.
"Right, yeah, they should do that. Sorry." Holding Tina's hand, Wade spoke to her once more. "Lead the way."
Tina nodded to Wade before the two began to walk over to the security gate nearby, several people, drones and humans alike, already in the line as they checked themselves in to the base to relax after the hard-fought battle. Once they reached the line, the four stood together as they waited for the line to slowly go up, more troops and rescued drones coming over to add to the long line. During the wait, a loud, mechanical 'SLAM' erupted through the air, prompting Wade and Tina to glance over to the direction of the noise. The two felt at ease once more as they saw the Vickers finally landed at the base, the loud clang being the docking clamps attaching to the ships hull just moments ago.
As the line moved up further to the gate, Wade and Tina caught sight of a pair of A-20 aircraft passing over them, the two watching as the planes slowed down while descending onto the runway nearby. The four drones' collective viewing of the fighters landing ceased as they caught sight of J, who took flight as she departed the transport nearby before flying over to the tents near the hangar bays.
"Huh, wonder what she's over there for?" Nathan said as he observed J landing onto the ground in front of one of the tents.
"Probably checking on the drones we got back, or meeting up with one of those commanders there." F said as she motioned an arm towards the tents, J walking under one as she made her way to one of the soldiers coming over to her. "Seems like the latter, from the looks of it."
Wade shrugged as he responded to the group's pondering over J's actions. "Well, she'll be here with us if we need her, right? Shouldn't be much to worry about."
Returning their focus to the line ahead, Wade and his team waited as the line moved up over the next few minutes, moving impressively fast as the people in front cleared themselves in one at a time. Eventually, the four of them were up, Tina stepping up to show her ID for clearance. "Hello, it's been a busy day, hasn't it?"
The security agent smirked at Tina's small-talk. "Hah, not too busy here until you all showed up."
As the guard finished scanning Tina's ID, she handed the card back to her as she raised a finger to begin her request. "Oh, um, there's a little issue we need to resolve." Putting a hand to Wade's arm, Tina explained her boyfriend. "This is my dear friend Wade, Wade Carter. We both managed to escape that blasted factory with the help of those Coalition folks there." Wade gave a pleading look as Tina continued. "Unfortunately, Wade was converted into a disassembly drone before he was rescued, and it seems those people at the company took all his belongings he had on him, including his ID. Do you think there's... anyway you could write up something to let him by?"
Stepping forward, F gave her end of the story. "I can vouch for him, Ma'am. Wade and I we're among the teams helping in getting the worker drones out of the factory during the operation." The disassembly drone pulled out a pair of cards as she finished her explanation, one of them being her company-issued Disassembly Service Passcard, which resembled a normal civilian ID in appearance, save for the 'JCJenson (In Spaaace!) Logo on the top left and hazard markings around the rim of the card. As for the other card, it was a well worn, still legitimate ID card, showing F as how she appeared when she was a worker drone. At the side of her picture was a name with an initial. "FELICITY A LEE"
Taking the two cards in her hand, she looked them over and scanned them as Nathan tried to back Wade up as well. "So can I, Ma'am! I helped there too, when he was under the company's control. We all got him out of the factory so we could get him back in order." Pulling out his own ID, Nathan handed it out as the guard returned F's IDs to her.
The guard accepted Nathan's ID as she spoke over what to do with Wade. "Well, normally it takes clearance from higher ranked personnel here to allow someone inside without a legitimate form of identification. We can't just take someone's word on things like this, after all." Tina seemed to frown in disappointment as the guard explained her protocols, Wade looking down at the ground as he felt his worries were about to be proven correct. Going over Nathan's ID further, she gave an intrigued expression at the card before continuing. "Huh, interesting. Got two veteran folks here, I see?" She glanced to Nathan and F as she said that, taking into account their former military background as the former spoke up.
"Three, actually. My pal Kurtis is somewhere back there, I think. He should be heading down here later this evening." The guard glanced back at Nathan's ID as she took in the veteran drone's reply, sighing as she decided to make a slight amendment to the issue put before her and the four friends.
"Well, seeing you two here, I believe I can write something up. The Major won't be happy with me for this, but I think I can trust you with appropriate behavior." Taking a small sticky name-tag, the woman pulled out a pen before starting to write on it. Initially, she glanced to Wade, who stated his name again before she began to write his name on the tag. Once she was finished, the guard gave the tag to Wade, who slapped it onto his jacket before she spoke to him. "You should be fine to enter for the most part, just stick close to your friends and don't cause any trouble. Understood?"
Wade gave a stern salute to the security officer, who held back a chuckle at the honest, yet amusing effort the disassembly drone showed to her. Giving a simple nod and a flick of her hand, she permitted Wade and his friends entrance to the base, the four walking past the walkway barricades as they made their way past the gate.
Wade let out a heavy sigh of relief as he thanked his allies. "I owe you both so much for this, thanks!"
"Don't mention it, Wade." F said warmly as she and Nathan laughed at his joyful face.
"Yeah, just doing what any good friend should." Nathan said as Tina wrapped an arm around Wade, holding him tightly as the two walked together.
Looking to his girlfriend, Wade spoke to Tina about what to do next. "Well, since we're in, you wanna go fi-" He ceased his words as he remembered that there was someone else they needed to find amongst the base. "Oh, I almost forgot about her,"
"Jasmine!" Tina and Wade said aloud together as the former remembered her sister, Wade's words snapping her mind to Jasmine in an instant. "We should look for her, you think she might be here somewhere?"
"Probably. If they got Ron after they captured me, they have to 've picked her up too." Wade stated, Nathan raising a hand as he offered to help.
"I could go looking for her! You know what she looks like?" Readying a holo-projector, he tried to display an image of Jasmine from one of his many memories of her. The picture was, while pixelated and under a blue hue, incredibly well-detailed. And for Nathan, that was all he needed to see to note Jasmine's appearance in his memory. Nodding, he spoke again to his friends. "Got it! I'll see if she's around!" Then, turning to run down one of the paths leading to a nearby base facility, he stopped as he asked one more question. "Oh! One more thing, you got a smartcomm on ya, Wade?"
Readying one from his holo-projector hand, he nodded as he spoke into it. "Seems so, though I don't seem to have all my contacts added in."
Running back over, Nathan pulled out his own smartcomm before putting it up against Wade's hand one, allowing the two devices to exchange information. Upon the devices beeping, Wade and Nathan nodded to each other, the former ignoring a pop-up that stated, "New Contact Added" while the latter spoke once more. "Okay, I'll call you once I spot her!" With that, he began running down the path once more, intent on finding Tina's sister at the base, wherever she could be.
"Fowley! Her last name's Fowley!" Tina said aloud to the departing Nathan, hoping he heard her words before turning away from the miner drone and facing Wade and F again.
As Tina sighed in partial relief, Wade put his own arm around her before asking the question he tried to ask before. "So, uh, with that out of the way for now... You wanna go look for one of those ship tabs?"
Putting a hand to Wade's chest, Tina smiled as she replied. "Oh, certainly." Then, as the three began walking down a different path that Nathan hadn't taken, the pilot drone continued with a chuckle. "I hear they have a place here that sells model kits too!"
...
Jasmine sat in silent sorrow as she took another gulp of her glass of Proxi-Vodka, a tasty, but heavy alcoholic beverage produced at the colony of Proxima 2... and one of Jasmine's preferred drinks to have when she wasn't in a good mood. When she awoke after being stunned by the station guards, she found that she was just recovered by a group that called themselves the 'United Earth Coalition', and that her drone friend, Tina, was unfortunately taken by the JCJenson corporation to be turned into one of their horrid disassembly drones. While the people that saved her offered to help her find Tina, so far there had been no luck in doing so. No successful calls, no response from Wade nor Ron, nothing.
The whole situation widdled at her like scrapes to her form, slowly draining any bit of hope that she had in finding her sister. And once the mission at that factory was over, the ship began heading back to the Nellis Base to escort the recovered drones back to a safe area. Unfortunately for Jasmine, Tina's presence was not given confirmation. Alone, she walked off to one of the bars down at the base, specifically Drexler's Cantina, one of the more popular bars down at the military starport. Thankfully, though she didn't openly exhibit feelings of wanting to be alone in her wallowing, she was glad the place was nearly barren of patrons, with only a few at a couple of tables within the bar.
The stage at the back of the bar also had a few singer drones performing aloud, the lead singer girl reciting the words of a quiet, yet exciting song that, instrumentally, consisted of a strange mix of bass, techno, and a hint of opera. The song itself was one Jasmine had heard a good many times before in her life, known as, 'You Complete My World' by a decades old Earth band by the name of HeartStar. The song, as Jasmine and many others who'd heard it interpreted it, was about someone who described their world like a puzzle, and that the one whom the main singer cared for beyond all was the only thing that could keep their world from shattering into ruin before them.
An oddly fitting tune, given what had just happened on the JCJ Central earlier. For all Jasmine knew, Tina was either alive beyond her knowledge, hopefully searching for her wherever she could, or, the answer Jasmine feared... Dead.
Not wanting to even consider the thought, the human pilot took another swig of the colonial Vodka, relishing in its taste before forcing herself to swallow, almost gagging from the strength of the drink. Easing herself, she glanced out to one of the windows of the bar, taking the faint glimpse of night into her eyes. Then, looking to the clock at the wall ahead of her, she saw the time was about a little over an hour to 10 pm. Jasmine gave a sigh to herself, certain she would be alone for the rest of the night.
Unbeknownst to her, however, Jasmine had been spied upon a little while ago. Nathan, in his search for the woman Tina called Jasmine Fowley, had spotted a woman matching the physical appearance of the target. Knowing Jasmine wouldn't know who he was if he tried to talk to her himself, Nathan immediately went looking for Wade, easing his return to his team by calling the former worker drone and signaling him about his findings.
Deciding to check on the news, Jasmine slowly pulled out her smartcomm, resisting her urge to press the contacts button as she tapped the news app. Looking through it, she spotted a recent story that was posted just over an hour ago, titled, "JCJenson 'Recall' effort sabotaged by joint Government/Militia forces! The Truth Exposed!" Above the article was a video, a play button in front of it teasing Jasmine. Curious over this sudden development, she pressed the button, her attention in complete focus on the video as it began to play.
After the news station's logo appeared on-screen for a short few seconds, the current host for the story, Mrs. Tiffany Joy, appeared at her seat before beginning the story. "Good evening, this is Nevada-78, I'm your host, Tiffany Joy. Tonight, we start with a rapid development for the 'drone recall' incidents propagated by the business conglomerate JCJenson In Space. Throughout the afternoon up to now, several advanced factories under the ownership of the corporation have fallen under violent assault by various militarized forces, ranging from official United Nations operatives to private militia groups with varying goals." The small screen to Joy's left shifted to show the state of Nevada, zooming into it to show a portion of the Mojave desert as Joy continued her story.
"Among these facilities, one such factory based right here in southern Nevada has recently succumbed to the successful efforts of the USN Defense Force and a group by the name of the United Earth Coalition, an alliance consisting of humans and automatons working to create a unified world for both species." The screen shifted again to show the logo for the UEC, which appeared as one half of a human head outline and another of a drone's, along with two arms behind the heads belonging to both beings pictured. "With the attack having concluded just hours ago, we have reporters gathering at the New Nellis Staryards near Henderson City to bring you the aftermath of the conflict. We go to Mr. Jelico, on the scene in five."
The camera shifted after the countdown of five to show Mr. Jelico in front of the camera, the cameraman filming a large tent housing several worker drones being tended to by the base soldiers. "Alright, Jelico here, we're on station at New Nellis. What you're all seeing here are some of the recovered worker drones, many of them were pretty spooked by the events that unfolded in that factory earlier." As the camera panned over the lot of drones, some of them looked to the camera, curious at the news crew filming them as Jelico continued. "A few of them are real glad to be here, Joy. Seems like they feel safe here, as far as I can tell."
As the camera moved to show Jelico again, a plane could be seen taking off as he spoke. "Yeah, these people did them quite a service. The staff here are working to find their original owners and families, it'll probably be a little bit before they can get them all home." The camera switched once again to another view of the base, the lights of various buildings illuminating the night as the news story continued.
At the entrance, Nathan pushed open the door to the bar, the chime failing to catch anyone's attention as he, Wade, F and Tina stepped inside. Carefully pointing at Jasmine, he whispered to Tina, "That's her, from the looks of it. She's been here for a good minute!"
Taking another drink of the Proxi-Vodka, Jasmine listened further to the story. "The authorities didn't just recover a majority of the worker drones taken into the factory, however. A recent update provided by Mrs. Yuka, shows her interviewing a disassembly drone who claims to be among the unfortunate drones the assault force failed to save before their conversion."
"Jasmine!" Tina called out, the voice instantly grabbing the woman's attention as she paused the news story. Swiftly turning her head, her heart began pounding with immense excitement as she saw her drone sister, who grinned upon seeing her face.
"Tina!" Jasmine said aloud, somewhat weakly from her previous wallowing as she tried to run over to her sister, landing on her knees as the two embraced in a flush of emotions. Wade and his friends stood behind the two girls as they hugged each other, clinging onto one another as tightly as they could give. Jasmine seemed to erupt with a pained cough as she allowed some of her sorrow out of her heart, Tina carressing her back in a comforting manner as she held back her own tears. The sisters held the hug for a long moment, not daring to let go of one another for fear of losing each other again. Eventually, however, they did, the two sisters taking heavy breaths as Jasmine spoke up while wiping her face. "I thought I'd lost you."
"Can't say I didn't feel the same way, love." Tina replied as she broke out in light laughter, glancing to Wade before continuing. "But, fortunately, those Coalition boys helped out quite a bit. Though, not as much as my knight in his new armor."
Standing herself up, Jasmine took Tina's helping hand as she looked to the one her sister spoke of. A grateful smile formed on Jasmine's face as she saw Wade, standing in front of her and Tina as he returned the expression. Looking upon her family friend, Jasmine noticed something... different about Wade. He was taller now, his arms were shaped like white cones rather than the silver bendy tubes he and Tina normally had. As for his face, his pure green eyes were replaced with a set of greenish-yellow ones, and above his forehead was a band holding five yellow bulbs that she didn't know the function of.
While the pieces started to click together in her head, Jasmine took Wade's held out hand as she spoke to him. "Wade, I'm so glad to see you! You look different, too. Did something... happen to you?" She already guessed it by this point, but feigned confusion as she opted to hear Wade's take on the matter.
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind your sister dating a vampire from now on." Tina chortled in amusement at Wade's comment at himself, Jasmine raising an eyebrow in confusion at the former worker drone as he returned his expression to a more sincere smile. "The company got me too, and unlike the workers we got out... they managed to turn me into a disassembly drone. From now on, I'm gonna need to take in more oil than I usually did before I was turned. My cooling system's not as good as it should be, from what I've heard." Pulling out his two full canteens, Wade finished his partial explanation. "Don't worry, though. I've got some to keep me down."
Jasmine took in the news with immense surprise, noticing the hazard stripes at the rims of Wade's arms as she replied to her friend. "Oh... Well, if Tina's fine with it, then I see no problem with that, Wade." Admittedly, she was a bit unnerved by the change, concerned for both him and Tina's safety due to this supposed oil coolant issue. Trying to sound as nice as she could on the matter, Jasmine hesitantly asked Wade, "Though... I am a bit concerned with that bad cooling problem you mention. You... don't think you would-"
"Hurt Tina?!" Wade assumed, understanding Jasmine's concern as he gave a horrified glance to the two sisters. Standing with his fists to his hips, he gave his answer to Jasmine's presumed question. "Don't even say such a thing, Jasmine. I'd rather overheat than dare strike her."
Admittedly amused as well as concerned for Wade's selflessness, Tina chuckled at him before speaking up on the matter. "Now now, Wade. It won't be so bad. We'll manage."
Jasmine nodded as she agreed with her sister's optimistic view on the problem. "Indeed we will, we always do." Then, taking notice of the other two drones in the room, Jasmine smiled at them before speaking again. "Ah, I see you brought some friends too."
Wade and Tina glanced over to Nathan and F upon Jasmine's statement, the two friends smiling pleasantly as Wade spoke up. "Oh, yeah. These are some of my work buddies from Ceres, Jasmine. This is Nathan, I first met him when Ron and I came to the mines, showed us around a bit too." Putting a hand on F's shoulder, Wade introduced her too. "And this is Serial Designation F, or, just F. She was one of the guards keeping watch on the place while we worked."
F seemed to blush out of embarrassment as she remembered her and Wade's first meeting. "I... did come off a little rough on them when they first came in, though. Stopped Nathan's touring run too. Just following colony protocol."
Nathan patted F's back as he tried to ease F's guilt. "Oh, it's nothing F. We had to start work in a few minutes anyway. Besides, it's a bit more fun exploring the place yourself without a guide." He winked at the others as he finished his praise. "Trust me, it really is."
Wade, Tina and Jasmine all chuckled at their friend's amusing words, F joining in as she replied to Nathan's encouragement. "Alright, alright."
Walking up to the two, Tina put her hand onto Nathan's as she gave her own praises. "And they may not look like it, dear, but Nathan and F were both formerly in the military, from what Wade's told me."
Jasmine gave a proud smirk at the two as she responded to her sister's claim. "Well, that's quite something. Did she tell you we used to fly for them some years back?"
"Oh, she did, Mrs. Fowley." Nathan replied as he chuckled lightly, F giving a smile of her own as she added her own part to the story.
"Yeah, and given what's happening now, maybe they might call you back for service again. Wade told me you two were excellent pilots."
It was now Jasmine's turn to blush as she chuckled from the compliment, knowing Wade's high praise for her and her sister's flying as she replied. "Well, I can't say that's wrong, Tina saved the day during the flight back here. We ran into an asteroid cluster while in the middle of a jump."
Wade patted Tina on her back as he quietly cheered his love on. "That's what I'm talking about, she's a wonder among the stars, I'm telling you!"
The group fell into an excited fit of laughter at the conversation, a few of the bar patrons taking notice of the bunch as they eventually ceased their joyful moment.
As everyone calmed down, Jasmine spoke up, intending to bring the discussion to another place. "Well, with all that said, it feels great to see you all here. It was such a terrible day after all those company folk showed up." Then, as she scanned the group of friends around her, she noticed someone else missing from this puzzle. "Hey, uh... is Ron here? Did he head off somewhere?"
The mood was quickly put down to a mournful aura as Wade and Tina glanced to the floor in sadness, Nathan and F giving uncomfortable postures as they awaited for someone to speak up on the matter.
Eventually, Wade was the one to open his mouth, breathing steadily as he tried to speak to Jasmine. "Um, Jasmine? Things, uh... really took a nose dive after we got captured. You think we could find a place to sit? It's a lot to talk about."
Looking to the four drones with concern, Jasmine eased her returning fear as she nodded to Wade in agreement. "...Sure, there's plenty of space at the table here." Pointing her arm to the table, which was surrounded by a U-shaped seating bench, Wade and his friends began to move to the table as Tina spoke up.
"I can get us some drinks for the talk, you all want anything?"
"Just some oil, thanks. "Wade answered as F and Nathan gave their own nods to Tina, the drone girl walking over to the bartender near the stage as she went to purchase some beverages.
Sitting down, Jasmine picked up her smartcomm from the table, glancing to it as she spoke up on her half-finished drink. "Heh, and to think I was drowning myself in this drag of a drink before. Probably have to find a different glass."
"Proxi-Vodka? Haven't seen you touch that since we lost Aunt Susan." Wade said solemnly as he examined Jasmine's drink, sighing as he reluctantly continued. "Well, maybe it can go for a few more sips."
Looking to the vodka, Jasmine nodded as she put her smartcomm in her pocket. "I figured, I didn't think this was gonna sound good."
"I wish it did." Wade replied as Tina walked back to the table, a plate of three oil glasses resting on her careful hand as she set it down.
After delivering the drinks, Tina took a seat next to Wade, holding his hand as Jasmine spoke up. "So, where do we start this terrible story?"
Wade gulped a bit as he began to recount the events that transpired today. "Well, it all started when Ron and I came back from the mining colony."

Novel - PEACE IS WHAT I WANT
Author note:-
How should i start. Lets say. I am just a student[19 M] And today i am going to start a writing a novel. Well... ...its always good to start a new work.
Enthusiasm...
thats what i am now feeling. I can't describe it in words. I can say that my grammar is bad. Umm so bad.
English is my second language. But i am going to try. I am going to persevere.
I am starting a novel on indian mythology. Well like indian sects.
Months ago.
I am just scrolling reddit. Seeing the memes on fy. And laughing my ass off.
unknowingly i stumbled on a comment and the comment is-
just think how if a cultivation novel based on indian mythology. Like There are 28 states in india. So.
We can make 28 sects and like this. And india is also a sacred country.
Just think there are so many mystery like kailash parvat( Kangrinboqe Peak).
So many mystries...
I was just staring at the comment something was rising in me.
Like this is my destiny. I am going to be a great writer. I will make millions of money. So i procrastinated this idea. Well i am a good procrastinater..
Months later today at 1 am on night while wasting my time on scrolling reddit.
I am suddenly feeling something. I am feeling like i have to do something productive. i have to make money So i thought to write a novel. Well its not going to the level of RI or Lotm. But i can try to make it good. I will daily use my 4 hours in this work.
I know i am not going to make any money on this.
But i am atleast trying to make something new. I am not good in studies.
No no no...
Its like i had never focus on studies.
From 2 years daily minimum 5 hours... I am reading novels.
Just novels. To cultivation to progression fantasy. Just novel.
But the idea of writing novel I always procrastinated that.
But today i am feeling so much enthusiasm i am going to start it now.
Special note-
If anyone wants to be a part of this journey. join me in this wonderful journey.
Well its going to be not paid. Its like internship. You will learn something. Like i need a editor. If any of you who is interested in this journey. You can dm me. Lets start.
I am clarify now this first chapter is something i am just writing it to describe. What is my potential. Like it will be my first novel and there are so many challenges i am going to face it. I am human afterall... I will going to make mistakes obviously. Day by day my writing will just going to improve.
Just adjust a bit.
You will definitely going to enjoy.
Chapter 1 - ITS STARTING
Hahahahah.
This is hilarious I have just wrote that I am going to make a wonderful novel and see I can't even type anything on my keyboard.
As i am seeing on my laptop. My frustration is increasing. How should i start. My patience is dropping. What should i do.
Lets make a boy first
Indeed hes going to be a poor and orphan.
Wait.
Its going to same cliche novel. I have to make something new. Something like Fang yuan.
First chapter of REVEREND INSANITY is goated Hes just standing hes hair floating and his clothes are in blood. He is smiling.
A cold smile. And then sac and boom
Explosion
....
Wait wait wait... This is going to be edgy. I have not any experience i have not any talent. How can i make a sacred novel like RI This is my first novel. I have to start with good mc.
.. My mood is swinging. I am feeling frustrated. How can anyone will going to read this garbage. I had not even make a world building. I had not even decide the name of the novel. Stupid so stupid. As i am staring on the screen. My patience paid off.
I turned off my laptop I stand up from my chair. And saw the time.
Its 1 am.
If my father found about that i am wasting my time in these things instead of studying. Than raj you just say goodbye to your writing passion.
I am just a average person.
Your average who got always average marks . Average look
Average talking skill.
Average money.
Well i am going to make it. But HOW.
...as i am thinking what to do How to write something great
. Suddenly my electricity gone.
Its rare. Well where i am living i had never seen electricity gone. Because i am living in a hostel. College hostel. And it is very expensive one. So when electricity goes out generator works.
Glad part about its. All of my study expenses is on loan. I am belonging from a middle class family.
But my father agreed for my private college as i convinced him that i will pay. I will pay everything believe in me last time. ...
I opened my room gate and went to the main hall while adjusting my torch light.
I can hear students are shouting. Well it is because human always find fun in everything
so many of students always wait when will the electricity goes and they will shout loudly. Its a fun thing. Really. its first time that electricity gone. So students are shouting too loudly. Make it more fun. Well i also join them. And also start shouting at high pitch.
Suddenly i stopped. Staring at the wall.
No no.
I am staring at the void.
In front of my eyes.
There was a blue screen.

 『Welcome to the gods heir』 

It was so unrealistic. I thought that this is my dream. I touched the screen with my limb. But the funny part is. My limb goes through it. Like it is a hologram.
My thoughts are spinning.
How can this happen. Its utterly impossible.
I had read so many webnovel i had already assumed so many scenarios like this. That there will be screen come from nowhere in front of you and you will say status and-
Wait status How can i forget this.
In my rough voice i said - "status" And i am believing that there will be a status screen will come.
And my life will take a 180. Degree turn But to my surprise there is no screen came.
1 sec...
2 sec...
Sudden a somber expression appeared on my face. A kid who always growed up while reading novel. A system is always his dream.
3 sec... 3.4 sec- And than
A voice heared in my mind.

 『 STATUS Name- Raj aggarwal Level- 1 Class- homo sapiens Sub class- None Stats/skills/shop/?¿? 』 

As i stared at the screen. My lips raised upwardly. This is what i want This is like my dream I always wanted a magical world.
A rpg type world where gods and demons are fighting. I will increase my level while fighting monsters. What..What is there any chance of my being alive in this scenario. This world is going to change. I have to change. I have to protect my family. Family...
**Shit.. shit..
My family lives 100 miles from here.. If this system is real and everyone can see it. Then soon chaos is going to erupting. What should i do now.. Take a bus or metro. No no .. Think think.. Well lets call them first..**
.
I opened my phone screen and saw the battery.
Shit..
8 percent. It can work for few minutes or one hour max I called on my moms number.
**Ring...
Ring...**
My heartbeat is increasing
*Ring... *
A women voice heared in my ear
-"Hlo, raj are you fine. What.. what is this screen. Everyone can see it. Everyone is panicking. You have to hurry.... come home as soon as possible".
I am glad that my mom answered my phone. While I staring at my screen i answered-"
don't worry mom.
There is nothing as panicking. Calm down. Just prepare some weapons like your knife, baseball. And locked the house. Do not open the door.
And tell my little brother that i am coming. Theres nothing to worry. Everything is fine."
I convinced my mom that there is nothing. But a gloomy senstation was felting in my body. I has to hurry.
As i glanced to the main hostel reception. A men with black beared.
Brown skin. Black eyes and in red shirt and black pant is standing there My warden was also in the state of shock. I went to him. Seeing me his eyes became focus. He called my name.
" RAJ CAN YOU SEE THE SCREEN ALSO"
He remembered my name indeed worthy of warden position I nodded. "Well its strange-he said to me while looking at the main gate. The gate was big and transparent Made of glass. I also see outside. Utter Darkness
Worrying if any type of dragon come here and just make this college campus in ashes. I glanced to other direction.
More and more students came from there room. Many were studying in their room. Many were gaming in their room. But i don't care because i don't have any friends. ..
But what i am doing here... When a sytem comes to the world You will granted with many powers. But what i have to do. As i thinking.
I stepped out on a ant.
Well its there problem being a short and came under my limb.
...The words on my screen crazily gone and swapped by a another words

 『 You are 137th one to killed a living being. 』 『 you got 5 true points』 

A crazy expression came on my face.
Here is the link of webnovel site - https://m.webnovel.com/book/peace-is-what-i-want_29563366708313205

Just A femboy looking for a serious ltr , so I’ll get to the point 🤗. I’m not here for the games , or ghosting . I’m here for something long term. Dating apps don’t work for me sadly.
Located: Texas . Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5’3. I wear glasses to read manga . My style is mostly goth/casual clothes from mostly anime shirts and chokers.
💙My hobbies:

• Anime : Some of my favorites animes are Tokyo ghoul , Sword Art Online , Yuri on ice , Future Diary, JJK, MHA, Yaoi(Love stage , Sasaki and Miyano)
• Manga : I’ve completed so many mangas from yaoi , Ouran high school host club , berserk , ect .
• Cosplay : I’ve done Pokémon & a Tokyo Ghoul cosplay before .
• Anime cons: I’ve been to at least 11 anime/Comic cons.
• Dueling (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
• Pokémon
• Yaoi
• Pc gaming
• Overwatch. I love this game have over 500 hrs .
• Marvel/DC
• Tv drama : The Vampire Diaries , Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The 100.
• Horror- big fan of tv shows , movies like AHS
• Consoles I have are : Ps5, Nintendo switch , psp, ps vita, Nintendo 3ds , wii, gameboy , ect .

🩷What im looking for in a Relationship🩷

• [ ] Monogamous
• [ ] Single
• [ ] Loyalty
• [ ] Communication
• [ ] No kids
• [ ] Open-minded
• [ ] Common interest : Nerdy (Anime, Games, Star Wars or anything nerdy)
• [ ] Sure on what you want
• [ ] Mature
• [ ] 21+ in age

▶️MY TYPE:
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds. These are just preferences not a deal breaker .
✅Ps: for compatibility reasons I’m a 100% bottom.
If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you and for me to give you a well detailed response. Mostly a name to call you , hobbies, location (state wise) and what you’re looking for . You may send pics in the first message if you may like 😊

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, married for 5. I’m (30F) and he is (41M). We have two children together. I’m filing for divorce tomorrow morning and my dad thinks I should also get a restraining order. I think that could be a little aggressive but I also don’t want to endanger my kids in any way. He has always been a good dad even though he has not been a good husband. The first years of our relationship, we were both deep into drinking and partying together. We got into trouble and our dating relationship was incredibly volatile and up and down. Then we got pregnant and I got sober and we got married and had our baby. We still fought and dealt with a lot of toxicity with each other the first couple of years. I relapsed into drinking again for about 6 months and 3 years ago, I finally got sober for real and got into AA. (Just celebrated my 3rd bday on the 10th, woo!) I went deep into step work, therapy, and working on myself. I’ve grown tremendously. So the last 3 years have been so much better between us. It actually felt like it might work. But my husband has not done any work. He’s in the same place, same job, drinking every night. Im not here to defend the reasons I’ve come to divorce. This has been the hardest decision of my life and I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t know it was right. Our children deserve a better example in marriage and partnership. As of now, I’ve been very vocal about keeping custody and parenting 50/50 because like I said, he’s a good dad and I’ll never weaponize the kids. Our children are handling this really really really well and I’ve been able to make this a positive experience so far, all things considered. I have the support of my family, staying back at home again now while I rebuild. All in all, my life is moving forward. But….my husband, while normally a happy drunk, not mean - is an extremely depressed person. I’ve tried every way you can imagine to encourage him to seek help, get into therapy, address his childhood trauma, heal. To no avail. I was ready to share custody with him when my dad said wait. He isn’t mentally well and my husband has a LOT of guns in the house. 12-15k worth of guns and ammunition. My dad wants me to keep the kids for now until we’re going through court which I’ve agreed to - he can FaceTime and call as much as he wants right now but me leaving the house with the kids just happened last Wednesday so it’s fresh enough I wanted to give him some time to let the dust settle. But my dad is saying I should go further with a restraining order. The final fight that brought me to this point, involved him breaking into a locked room where I was sleeping with our children while he was drunk and screaming at me. He did not physically hurt any of us but when he left the room I mistakenly made the choice to comment how he was giving “little dick energy” and he flew into a really scary vindictive rage. Again, nothing physical. But he was encouraging me to leave this world, that he and the kids would be better off without me, told me to get the weapon out of the safe . Etc. He has never been abusive to our children but he has always been emotionally and verbally abusive to me. Again, I have my reasons for leaving. That’s not why I’m here. So because of his abusive patterns toward me, his history with being unhinged emotionally, his untreated alcoholism and having lots of guns in the house - my dad thinks to keep the girls safe and to have more power in the divorce, I should get a RO against him, citing my fear for mine and our children’s safety.
But I’m not actually afraid of him? I really don’t think he would hurt our children. Yet I am not naive enough to think this doesn’t happen - I read the news. I know my dad does have a point - but I’m also not trying to be aggressive. I told my husband we could be a team and do this nicely. I wouldn’t start a war unless he made the first aggressive move. I wasn’t even going to hire a lawyer because I know my husband can’t but my dad is getting one. I don’t want my husband to think I am coming after him or trying to hurt him further. I genuinely love this man and I am praying for his recovery. I’m not leaving because I hate him. I see the broken man child he is and the potential he has to be and I pray through this he will grow and change for the sake of his children. I just have to move on with my life. But is my dad right? Should I go for an RO against this man?
TLDR: getting a divorce. Ex husband is an alcoholic with untreated mental health issues. Emotionally and mentally abusive to me but not our children. Good dad bad husband type. Has a lot of guns in the house. Very depressed and unhinged right now. Last fight included him bursting into a room where I was with our children sleeping, in a drunken rage. Encourages me to commit self harm. Should I file RO in order to protect them even though he has never given me reason to think he would hurt them?

Ive always been curious about the things that could happen in a specialist's water divination test, so I wrote a Foreword about this hatsu
Foreword
Ray was very happy, he has been traning day and night for 8 months to learn nen. Yesterday his brother discovered that he is an enhancer, and today is his turn.
-Well, its time, put your hands around the glass and use ren, please- His teacher said to him

• Alright, im pretty nervious- When Ray used ren, the water started to spill out of the glass

Later that day, Ray got into the house, screaming in happiess- HEEEEY, IM AN ENHANCER TOO
-Thats cool- His brother said- Let me see
With a smile, Ray placed the leaf on top of the glass of water and used ren again. He waited and waited, and used all his strength, but nothing happened.
-I dont know what happened- He said a little confused and sad

• Maybe you should train more, little brother- He said with a smile before drinking the water. His brother spit all the water a second later

It was sour as hell
Well, this is interesting…-His teacher said the next day
They tríed the test six times, in 6 diferent glasses. The leaf moved, then the color of the water turned yellow, then the water spilled, the taste became sour, little snowflakes appeared on the water, and the water on the last glass evaporated.
Switch up - Infinite Cycle
Nen type: Specialist (all tipes basically)
Description: The user has to snap his fingers, then, the user changes his nen type clockwise in the nen ring.
Example: If the user is a transmutator and uses the ability, he will become a conjurer, and then an specialist, etc
A “Cicle” is completed when the user goes clockwise along the nen ring, and gets to the nen type he was at the begining
Conditions:
1- The user has 100% proficiency in the nen type he is at the moment, and 0% in every other nen type
2- The user can only do one “Cycle” per day, if the user tries to use the ability more than 6 times in a day, he will be in a state of zetsu for a week.
3- The user has to wait for at least 10 minutes before switching up again

The Purpose of Life for Man

One of the most direct verses on the subject of "the meaning (or purpose) of (human) life" in the Bible can be found in Revelation:

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."-Revelation 4:11

This, of course, should prompt us to ask what exactly does God take pleasure in?
Conversely, what doesn't He take pleasure in?

"Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"-Micah 6:6-8

God does not take pleasure in mere outward religiosity and ritual, but rather finds honest acts of love towards Him and others as more important when pertaining to our fulfillment of what God expects from us as His creation. God takes great pleasure in us doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him. This is what He requires of us. In other words...

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."-Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

The Book of Ecclesiastes is an existential treatise on the futility of finding any meaning or fulfillment in life apart from God. In it, "the Preacher" (or "Teacher" in some translations) explores the limits of human experiences which may provide meaning or fulfillment in this life before the author of the book inevitably concludes that the only thing we can do that has any kind of meaning or permanence in the end is fearing God and keeping His commandments. The reason for this is because the march of time and our own mortality effectively make most human endeavors hevel. The Hebrew word "hevel" is translated as vanity in the King James.
The following is taken from BibleProject:

In Hebrew, hevel literally refers to “vapor” or “smoke.” The teacher uses this word 38 times throughout the book of Ecclesiastes as a metaphor to describe how life is temporary and fleeting, like a wisp of smoke, but also how life is an enigma or paradox. Smoke appears solid, but when you try to grab it, it’s like nothing is there.

[...]

The author’s basic goal is to target all of the ways we try to build meaning and purpose in life apart from God and then let the teacher deconstruct them. The author thinks that people spend most of their time investing energy and emotion in things that ultimately have no lasting meaning or significance. And so he allows the teacher to give us a reality check.

The Preacher gives us a "reality check" by demonstrating how time and death effectively make things like scientific and artistic discovery (1:10-11), mirth (2:1), alcohol (2:3), architecture (2:4), amassing property (2:7-8), and luxury (2:8) all hevel. Materialism and hedonism fail to fulfill, and though wisdom and righteousness are acknowledged by the preacher to be advantageous, the righteous and wise are still often victims of injustice and unfairness in the world while the wicked get to prosper and have longevity at times (1:13-18). Generally, your life will probably be better by living in the wisdom given in Proverbs (Ecc. 7:11-12; 9:13-18), but it's no guarantee that you will have a good life as bad things still happen to good people, and good things still happen to bad people. This isn't entirely "hevel" but it's confusing and disorienting because things don't always work out the way we think they should in this life.
Again, from BibleProject:

So what’s the way forward in the midst of all this hevel? Paradoxically, the teacher discovers that the key to truly enjoying life is accepting hevel, acknowledging that everything in your life is totally out of your control. About six different times, at the bleakest moments in his dialogue, the teacher suddenly talks about “the gift of God,” which is the enjoyment of the simple, good things in life such as friendship, family, a good meal, or a sunny day.
You and I can’t control the most important things in our lives. Nothing is guaranteed, and, strangely, that’s the beauty of it. When I adopt a posture of complete trust in God, it frees me to simply enjoy life as I actually experience it and not as I think it ought to be. In the end, even my expectations about life, my hopes and dreams, are all “hevel, hevel. Everything under the sun is hevel.”
The teacher’s words come to an end, and the author takes over, bringing the book to a close. He says that it is very important to hear what the teacher has to say. He likens the teacher’s words to a shepherd’s staff with a goad, a pointy end that will hurt when it pokes you. But that pain can ultimately steer you in the right direction towards greater wisdom.
The author warns us not to take the teacher’s words too far. You can spend your entire life buried in books trying to answer the existential puzzles of human life. Don’t exhaust yourself, he says. You’ll never get there. Instead, the author offers his own conclusion that we should “fear God and keep his commands; this is the whole duty of humans. For God will bring every deed into judgment, every hidden thing, whether good or evil” (Ec. 12:13-14).

Fearing the Lord doesn’t guarantee success in this life, but it is the right thing to do, and ultimately God will clear the "hevel" and bring His justice on all we have done. Therefore, we ought to keep God's commandments.
Through Jesus, we see the Bible clearing the confusion many have, and still have, about God's commandments and what exactly they are (in essence, at least):

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."-Matthew 22:37-40

The apostle Paul puts it like this:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

The apostle John, like this:

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."-1 John 4:16

In other words, the first and second greatest commandments can be seen as inextricably intertwined, as one cannot truly love God without loving their fellow man, and vice versa.
So, to put it bluntly, the meaning, or purpose, of (human) life according to the Bible is simply love.

"What Does It Mean to Love Biblically?"

But, what exactly is love anyway? We know that, according to the apostle John, God is love. But, what does that mean exactly?
The ancient Greeks had anywhere between four and eight different words for love (depending on the source):

• Storge: affection
  
• Philia or Phileo: friendship
  
• Eros: sexual, erotic
  
• Agape: unconditional, divine, selfless
  
• Ludus: flirtatious, playful, casual, uncommitted
  
• Pragma: committed, long-standing
  
• Philautia: self-love
  
• Mania: obsessive, possessive, addictive, dependent
  

The word translated as "charity" in the KJV's rendering of 1st Corinthians 13 is agape. A more accurate translation of the word would be "love," more specifically, the love of God. In this passage, Paul talks about the importance of having this kind of love for others compared to all the things we might typically obsess over concerning the things of God. Even things like charity to the poor itself, if not motivated by agape, does not impress God! Our motivations and heart matter to God just as much, if not more, than our actions themselves.
This is what the Bible defines as true love, or at least, is the kind of love it's most concerned about.
In order to demonstrate to another that we love them, we sacrifice something. For God, He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). For Jesus, he sacrificed himself to save us from our sins:

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13

In essence, true love is self-sacrifice. Putting others before ourselves is the greatest kind of sacrifice.
God didn't have to send His Son, but He did. Jesus didn't have to accept the mission, but he did.
God loves you, and Jesus loves you.
We demonstrate to others that we love them by sacrificing our wants and desires for them. These sacrifices can range from really small, to really big. Loving others is a daily practice of making greater and greater sacrifices.

“You can will to love people. Love is not a feeling. Love is a willing, and the Lord says to love people. He did not mean [to merely] feel love for them” — A.W. Tozer

A stumbling block for many in their walk with God is the inability to love one's enemies and to love unlovable people as Jesus did. It’s difficult for us to show love to people we don’t feel love for; to people we despise or dislike. We also tend to struggle with extending grace and mercy to those who’ve hurt us. I myself often wonder whether I am even capable of loving everyone the way Jesus does.
As I grow in my faith, I realize it’s not that I’m incapable of loving like Jesus; I’m just not always willing to. My unwillingness to love indicates that I am unwittingly adopting the worldly view of love, which is based on feelings and merit. I am choosing not to love people I feel are underserving of my love. The more I study Scripture, though, the more I realize Biblical love is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s a decision. It is an action, and it’s sacrificial. It’s not something you feel; it is, again, something you practice.

“Biblical love is a choice to do good for another person regardless of what we feel. It is a decision to compassionately and righteously pursue the betterment of another person. This is why you can even love your enemies according to Christ’s command.” — Tony Evans

Jesus commands us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). He also said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). Since the Lord commands us to love, that means it is within our power to do so; therefore, love is a decision we make. Although feelings will accompany love, it’s not an emotion; it’s the decision to love regardless of how we feel.
As believers, we’re taught to love our enemies, and do good to those who hate us, and if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, "turn to him the other also" (Matt. 5:39). It’s not easy to do; hating our enemies comes naturally to us because of our evil nature. It is impossible to love our enemies on our own strength; we need the help of the Spirit of God.
The decision to love your enemies arises from the decision to obey the will of God and the desire to be Christlike. We choose to love our enemies because God said so and loved us first. Jesus said we are to love as he loved us.

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8

So Biblical love is sacrificial love. It is not a feeling but an act of will; the desire to put the welfare of others above your own. This type of love is not a love based on affection or emotion. Instead, it’s agape love, a love that is not concerned with self but is concerned more with the good of others.
We are not going to like everyone, nor are we called to; we are called to love everyone regardless of how we feel about them. It’s possible to love someone without feeling love for them when we decide to love everyone the way God loves us. The more we love through our actions, the decision to love will become a choice the heart is more willing to make.
Again, this doesn’t mean you will like or feel love for everyone, but when you put your trust in the Lord and pursue wisdom and holiness through prayer and Scripture, you will naturally develop a love for others.
To put it succinctly: Biblical love seeks the best interests of others, even our enemies, often to the detriment of ourselves. "Best interests" here doesn't necessarily mean what the other person thinks are their own best interests. It just means we do for them what we know or believe is best for them, and what we know or believe is best for them should be informed by an active participation with the Spirit of God and by His Word (the Bible) itself. Feelings may or may not accompany this, but how we feel towards the other is not what determines whether or not we're exhibiting the love of God, in the view of Jesus and the apostles. In their view, it's about whether or not we can still decide to seek the best interests of those who might harm us, or who we might not even like.

What the Real Heavenly Treasure Is

Now, this all brings us to an important question that needs to be answered: Is it wrong to love God and others while making a reward the objective for doing so?
We must ask this question, because all throughout Scripture we are told that the faithful followers of God will be "rewarded" some day for everything they've done to merit this. Giving an exhaustive list of passages that proves this point would be endless, but here are some examples of just a few:

"Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."-Luke 14:12-14
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."-Acts 20:35
"But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."-Luke 6:35

The answer to this question depends on what we define as "rewards." Most will typically adopt some vague idea of material possesions that await the believer when they get to heaven as one's reward for faithfulness towards God, or that the reward is simply an escape from punishment for one's own sins, or perhaps even some combination of these things both.
However, none of these are the "rewards" the Lord is promising to those who obey the first and second commandments. If they were, our motivation to love God and others would ultimately be selfish. Think about it. Our motivation for rewards would inherently be me-centered, and not other-centered.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ gives the following command:

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."-Matthew 6:19-21

We know there are heavenly treasures, because Jesus says so, but what are they? The issue of heavenly treasures or eternal rewards is riddled with question marks. It’s a subject that has been abused by some (“Store up treasure by giving to my ministry”) and left in the too-hard basket by others.
But the answer here is simple, and two-fold. One of our rewards are God Himself:

"After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."-Genesis 15:1
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."-Hevrews 11:6

What is the reward of the seeker but to find that which is sought? If you are searching for God, you will find Him and He will be your very great reward.
Now, if you are the newest believer or the eleventh-hour worker, you will be as richly blessed as the oldest, most faithful saint. Eternity will not be divided into the haves and have-nots, for we are all one in the New Jerusalem.
But we can distinguish God our reward from the heavenly treasure that Jesus said can be stored up. You cannot "store up" more of God, after all.
So what are heavenly treasures? The answer may surprise you, but it’s people.

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."-Psalm 127:3

What is the only thing you can take with you? People, a.k.a. eternal friends, a.k.a. spiritual offspring. This Psalm is not just talking about biological children. God has bigger plans for you and they involve spiritual children. Lots of them. Dozens. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. Don’t limit God.
So much time and effort is spent debating heavenly treasures as though they were some great mystery. What are they? Jesus makes it plain: it's people.

• Just as Abraham was called to be the father of many nations, so are you.
  
• Jesus said those who followed him would be fishers of men. What is a fisherman’s reward? It’s fish, or people in this case.
  
• What is the reward of the one who sows and waters the good seed? It’s a harvest of people.
  
• What is treasure that never wears out and cannot be stolen? It’s people.
  

God's heart cries, “I treasure children. The more, the better!” In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus introduces God as our heavenly Father. In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus says God is a Father who rewards us. And what is a father’s reward?
It is children.
“Sounds great, but I am no evangelist.” You don’t need to be an evangelist to win eternal friends. Believers can live such godly lives that unbelievers will be won to the kingdom (1 Pet. 2:12; Matt. 5:16).
God's desire is to grow the world’s largest family and He treats people like treasure. This is obvious once you see it. Indeed, it’s a theme that runs throughout Scripture:

"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth."-Deuteronomy 7:6
"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth."-Deuteronomy 14:2
"And the Lord hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;"-Deuteronomy 26:18
"To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded. Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed. But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;"-1 Peter 2:4-9

Like Jesus, Paul eagerly gave to the poor (Gal. 2:10). He did not give out of religious duty or to put a shine on his reputation. He did it because he loved people and wanted to share the love of God with as many as possible (1 Cor. 13:3).
Life is a gift that is easily wasted. We can waste it running after inferior rewards that rust, or we can do what Jesus and Paul did and invest ourselves in the only reward that lasts: people.

God Is Faithful

Someone once asked me, "Why would God be concerned as to whether or not we 'have trust and confidence in him' when He's judging us and when He determines what our fate will be?"
Having trust and confidence in God, according to the Biblical authors, is required for us to fulfill His commandment that we love Him, and thus also love others. (See Hebrews 11.)
As with a spouse, you cannot truly love them if you do not have some level of trust or confidence in them, and vice versa. All relationships require trust, from both parties. God wants us to trust Him that He will keep His promises towards those of us who love and follow Him. He also wants to trust us that we will enter the kingdom of heaven with a righteous and loving character. He doesn't want another rebellion in paradise, so He's trying to see if we truly love righteousness for righteousness' sake. A truly righteous person wouldn't want to rebel against Him when the time comes that they enter the kingdom of God themselves, because a person with a righteous character wouldn't ever do such a thing.
As Open Theists, we believe we're being consistent in our belief that God, at times, puts trials before us to test whether or not we will remain trustworthy enough in our character to be deemed worthy of entrance into His kingdom. The Classical Theist doesn't have the luxury of being consistent if they have this same belief.
In the Book of Job, Satan makes an accusation towards someone God has deemed as truly righteous: Job.
Satan assails God’s wisdom and character in running the world by alleging that people only serve Him because of what they get out of it. God protects them from disaster and blesses them in other ways. Their obedience, he is suggesting, isn’t really a free choice. "There is no genuine virtue in the world," Satan is claiming. "There are only self-serving bargains, and obedience for the sake of being protected and blessed is one of them. Hence, true holiness and virtuous obedience are an illusion." "Take away a person’s protection," Satan insists, "and let me have my way with people, and they will stop living for God" (Job 1:9-11; 2:4-5).
God has so much faith in Job that he will not succumb to proving the false accusations being levied towards him and God's way of running things in general that He ends up accepting the challenge. For God, this is as much a test of His faith towards His servant as it is for Job for his Lord. The adversary, we see, was assailing God’s integrity and wisdom in overseeing the creation. Satan was, in effect, accusing God of being a Machiavellian ruler. In the context of this narrative, it was an assault that could only be refuted by being put to the test.
Had God simply forced Satan into silence, without proving him wrong, it would have simply confirmed the accuracy of Satan’s charge. It would have shown that there is no integrity or wisdom in how God runs the world after all. "There is only the exercise of power, used to manipulate beings into obeying Him. People serve God only as a bargain, not out of genuine love."
No, the challenge had to be answered by having it put to the test. The most righteous man on the earth was thus chosen to be tested. If Job failed, the narrative suggests, then Satan will have made his point. If he succeeded, however, then God’s wisdom and integrity in running the cosmos will have been vindicated. Hence, the protective fence around Job is removed and Satan is allowed to afflict him.
In the end, Job proves faithful to God and is even referenced in the New Testament as an example of the kind of faithfulness He expected of first century believers facing persecution and trials:

"Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy."-James 5:11

While most of us aren't dealing with the life-threatening kind of persecution that believers faced in the first century, for the very fact that the eschatological end of physical Israel and the Old Covenant system was fastly approaching for them (and already has approached), we still each face our own trials that God puts in our lives as individuals to see if we truly love Him. Job is simply the ultimate example of one who loved God because they chose to, not because God forced them to.
After all, you never know if your love is pure if it isn't tested...

25F, BMI healthy range, no smoking, no drugs, low alcohol consumption. Physical job, good shape. Medications beclometasone (asthma), sertraline. North Europe.
EYES: For the past month I have had nonstop visual problems which feels like a migraine aura. My vision is grainy like TV static noise. If I look at a geometric pattern, it starts moving: if I stand on our geometric rug and look down, my feet disappear from my vision. If lighting changes, I see white and black spots and patches moving around. If I close my eyes, I also see patches moving, even flashing lights sometimes. I struggle to focus on looking at things, other thigns around the focus point start moving or then I have double vision. I have occasional pain behind my **left eye**, a feeling of pressure, sometimes tingling and goosebumbs in the eyesocket. One night red spots (petechiae) appeared around this eye.
VERTIGO/EARS: I have vertigo on and off. At worst I couldn't stand straight without swaying and even crawled on the floor cause everything was spinning. If I close my eyes and try to walk or stand on one leg, I fall down. (Normally I do sports that require good balance and am able to eg. go up and down a rope on one leg and jump onto obstacles and slide while downhill skiing.) I have tinnitus, mainly low noise like holding an ear against a seashell, sometimes periods of loud beeps. Once I lost hearing in my **left ear** for a period of time.
COGNITIVE: I forget things a lot and struggle to focus. I've always been absentminded but never this featherbrained. Before in my life I had never lost my bank card, and only once left the house while forgetting my keys inside. Now in a short period of time I have lost my bank card twice and keys twice and only got them back with the help of strangers. I have also felt just generally disorientated at times, asking stupid questions and misunderstanding what I'm told and just having very absurd thought chains that leave me acting like an idiot over something that could be done simply.
NUMBNESS: My legs, hands from elbow down, and mouth went numb last Saturday and still remain a little bit numb. I struggled walking, had to sit down a lot, and my grip wasn't as tight as normal. I felt lightheaded standing. I could speak and smile, though, and my face wasn't and never has been droopy. When I smile, though, the muscles on the left side of my mouth tense up unusually with wrinkles that used not to be there.
SWALLOWING: I struggle swallowing at times, threw up water once and just keep coughing at other times. (The petechiae I mentioned earlier happened after I threw up, so it could also be a result of that.)
EXHAUSTION: One day I was able to stay awake for just five hours (granted I was in the ER the past night for numbness), another night I slept for like fifteen hours. I am tired a lot, some days all I can do is lie in bed or sit on couch, other days I have to take more breaks and just go to bed right after work (if I've been even able to get to work.)
Tests so far: EKG normal. CBC normal. Blood pressure within normal range, a little elevated in one test but could have been just me worrying about not being able to stand at the time. Blood sugar and culture normal.
Tried so far: Headache does not respond to ibuprofen or paracetamol. I tried Epley manoeuvre for two weeks as a doctor suggested it, either that or rest from sick leave days might have improved the vertigo from "unable to stand without swaying" to "just annoying." Eye strain helps somewhat when I take off my glasses.
I feel like doctors aren't taking me seriously, even brought up my mental health history out of the bush like I'm imagining things even though I'm all gucci on that end. I get that my symptoms are unusual as a whole and they find it unlikely it's anything acute, but my life is so hellish with this shit, it's like flipping a coin if I'll be lying in bed all day with a headache and nausea and numbness and what not, or when I do drag my ass to work, if I gotta drag a chair around cause I struggle standing, and keep pushing myself to the end of the shift telling myself "just one more hour." It's also annoying I haven't seen properly for a month, even now writing this hurts my head. It's like they are hiding referrals like government secrets lol.
Background information: I have asthma and alfa-1-antitrypsin-deficiency (MZ alleles). I have also been on sertraline for years. (I did stop it last autumn when a doctor suggested it wasn't necessary anymore. I have family history of bipolar, and experienced a two week period of hypomania like symptoms after stopping. Soon after, a stressful life event triggered a depressive episode, which lasted for two months, but subsided as I started the medication again and got over the stressful life event. For the past four months I have had less stress than normally, I have been happy, I love my new work, I have friends, etc. When starting and ending sertraline I had mild side symptoms such as a feeling of vertigo for a second or two when moving my head quickly, but I would find it quite strange that a medication that has worked well for me for years would suddenly be behind all these strange symptoms that started about a month ago.)

I have gone through shopee and three industrial sized (120 L) bins (for paper, glass and plastic) would cost me about almost RM500 (mahal sebab shipping pun dah RM100 bcos bulky items). Just wondering if ade option lain. Can anyone suggest types of shops that would possibly sell these types of bins so I can save some on shipping. I went to MR DIY but no luck.

So,
EARLY TO MIDGAME:
The early and midgame is easy in terms of resources, only thing to mention here is to get floors asap using vendors and coins. At LEAST get Workshop, Forge and Tailor.
One other tip early game, prioritize seeds when you can, and DONT make too many vermin salves, use a lot of blood rose brews instead once you get it going. You will need fiber and bone in bulk.
MIDGAME:
Midgame iron is solved by going bear form to the iron cave (the golems dont attack animals, and you are a bear, an animal)
If you need scrolls or wool, get a paper press and use the pollen method to make coarse thread into wool at weaver.
Just speedrun bosses.
ENDGAME:
Afterwards, we get in the endgame grind.
Here are the materials and how to best get them:

• Pristine leather: Kill werewolf village at night, roam the cursed forest north and kill all. This will be your biggest bottleneck
• Silk: Use the recipe from vermin nest to make silk at base, no need to farm spider cave
• Mutant grease: DO NOT FARM OPEN WORLD, farm quartz/glass instead and use vermin nest to make tons of mutated rats. Literally turn glass into mutant grease.
• Gems and gem dust: Just progress bosses and destroy extra ones
• Gold bars and chains: Silverlight is good, but going mortium and killing patrols is better. I recommend that.
• More seeds and saplings: Use stygian summon circle to make blood treants (dont forget to add appropriate floor)
• Sulfur and copper: Farm transcendium mine with worker blood. Huge yields.
• Bones: Use tombstones with mourning lilly recipe, or just kill mutated rats.
• Blood and essences: Kill mobs inside or outside base, and press the blood.
• Oil: Send servants for oil, or press fishes (but I dont recommend pressing fishes)
• Cloth: Use thick leather only, and combine with fiber to get cloth.
• Fiber: Farm high density fields with worker blood, sword spin, and axe second ability.
• Ghost shrooms and plague briar: Get goldsun coins and fly batform to silverlight vendor, buy seeds and fishes, and you can batform out as they are teleportable
• Extra ghost shroom and mutant grease source: Plant at base gloom and cursed tree saplings. Since the 1.0 update, they give shrooms and grease at home.
• Power cores: Batteries are teleportable, so farm them in gloomrot areas, then go 40-60 at once to charge them from base. Dont fight around that area when charging, as you can teleport and do charge runs fast.
• Bat leather and Blood crystal: These are the easiest materials to get. Dracula demise and incursions.
• Stygian shards: Be good at pvp, and do incursions. Dominate a succubus or any other high blood draculin to send him to greater stygian shards.

FINAL ENDGAME:
- GET ALL SERVANTS UP AND GEARED. On a duo server, we have two castles with 5x2=10 servants all geared up and ready to go. They solve all our material needs now.

• SERVANTS CAN USE BROKEN GEAR WITH NO PENALTY
  
• Only one servant needs to be present to benefit from servant mission bonus, not two
  
• Get 100% blood of each type. Use irradiated gruel to increase blood quality of prisoner.
  
• Get a big garden.
  
• Unlock as many passives as you need from stygian altar
  
• Unlock full tech tree using paper press + pollen + fiber method.
  
• Try to get legendary gems on your abilities that you use.
  
• Try to get legendary weapons or good epics. When you do incursions, visit the trader and fast buy your epic/legendary weapon for 1500 greater stygians. Once bought, it cannot be dropped. 10% chance for buy to be legendary.
  
• Make a good castle, raid, defend, and grind legendary weapons and gems
  

Enjoy.

As of about 2100 last night, I’ve made it to 200 days.
Earlier in the day, my husband and I climbed up to an old fort. It was about sunset when we made it back down and continued a stroll around the peninsula.
We passed by a restaurant on the beach and my husband remarked that it was times like these that he missed enjoying a glass of wine.
My husband doesn’t have a problem with alcohol. I’m the one with the problam. Even so, other than the odd social beer, he’s quit with me.
I told him it really wouldn’t bother me if he had a drink. I’d just get an NA beer. He said hell no! He’s a good egg.
But I agree with him. There are still times I miss enjoying a glass of bubbles. I don’t think that feeling will ever going to go away. It doesn’t mean I have to give in though.
I don’t get bad cravings anymore. It’s more a wistful feeling of knowing I can never do that again. I know once I have that first drink, I won’t stop. I’ve accepted it, and I think that is key to long-term sobriety.
I will not drink with you today ❤️

I feel like I helped them in some way, that these older men who took advantage of me in my childhood needed someone, and I was that someone. I tell myself you helped them, healed them, they got better.
I tell myself I miss them, I tell myself I love them, they loved me. I spiral incessantly about if it was love at all.
In the moment it felt good, the attention, the adoration and dedication these men had to me. It felt powerful after being made to feel so small and powerless. It felt good. One specific instance I was 15 in rehab, a youth worker and I grew extremely close. He’s tell me he loved me, my laugh, he’d push up my glasses, rub my back so I could sleep. He said I was special and god, I can’t bear the thought that it was a glimpse of warmth. A glimpse if I looked hard enough. I’m really high I’m sorry for this. Just been thinking, I’m all types of fucked up and it’s almost ridiculous.
I guess it’s a wild world.

I have appalling neigbours. They are 2 polish people. They came to Australia posing as a couple. Hes 59 shes 50. She also had a daughter from another man, and they had 1 son together. He is never happy, always miserable. Shes the same. So, when tbey first moved in. They were okay.. Well, they were nice to us. So, When he first moved in. She asked if I wanted to go over to gt to know them. I was like okay, sure. I took around a bottle of wine as a gift. And everything was fine. After the guy had a couple drinks. He started acting passive agressive. And soon I found out, that he was in fact a full blown alcoholic. Now, i didnt find that out right away. But,, only, days later. She approached me and said, thanks for the wine. But can you please not buy him any alcohol,? I said oh.. sorry, my bad. Why is he bad on it? She looked at me and said yeah, he hits me. And I cant handle him when hes drunk, he gets all agressive. And acts silly. I apolagised and, with that. I decided to just keep my distance from them. Some tine passed, I was very generous toward them. Even at christmas, they had told me they love football, and tokd ne their favirite football team, so at christmas I bought them a scarf each. She was so thankful she returned the favor with chocolates. Things were fine. Buy, It was clear from the more occuring arguments they were having more issues at home than they made out. As mentioned above, They also had a daughter. She wouod scream all the tine every day at around dinner tine "DONT TOUCH ME" STOP!! She woukd yell. Everyday, it was awful eventually 1 day I heard her crying, "stop touching me" she said sobbingly. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knew they had a problem, but, I didnt kmow it was this bad. He was the 1 with the main issue. Always abusing them. I knew he was probably molesting the daughter. And hitting his partner. Fast forward to about 1 year ago. At thos point. I know for a fact he is an alcoholic. He quit/lost his job. Stopped going to work. She started going and staying out all day. The daughter moved out, And, slowly, he has gotten worse. So, About 6 months ago. He got really angry, mainly because we stopped talking to them. He expressed his anger, but he was hitting her again now . We just ignored it. So, he started yelling anytime we were outside.me, My elderly mother, an amazon delivery, its gotten really bad now. just last week, traffic on our street was banked up, a car tooted thier horn. "SHUT THE F UP!!" He yelled. He must have thought it was us. Again, I even have him screaming on camera, and you can clearly see there was a car eho cut off another out in the street. We would have visitors pull up for holidays etc. Oh f this f that he would shout in polish. Keep in mind, hes screaming around my 80 year old mother ll, our other neigbour whos elderly, the kids behind them. Its like really bad. Now, she has begun wearing sunglasses all the time. The other day while checking the mail, i saw her he really must have hit her hard cos she had a black eye. So, after I left to go out. He walked over to my mother while she was in her garden. And he started dribbling nonsense. And said something to the effect of you stay there, never come to my siide. My mother said I never in my life have come there. Can you just leave me alone? And the whole thing was caught on my survielance camera. Which by the way, I had to get because of him. He was quite aggressive, and my mother being elderly and a survivor of Domestic Violence herself, she git scared and had to go inside. She said, I cant go out there.. keep in mind my mothers garden is her peaceful, safe place.. She doesnt need that. I was LIVID watching this playback too. Cos he waited for me to leave. Soon as I left, he siezed the opportunity like a true coward. But recently things got worse.. his 'partner' who was being abused, has trued to divert his behaviour toward us. She has told him to make noise while we sleep. I know this as I captured her saying it after getting in the car, in english. She said slam the door harder wake them up. Then when they reversed. He yelled like a high schooler some jobberish in our direction. We werent even outside. But NOW, He has now started banging on our fence really loud at 530am every single day. He also dumps the alcohol containers in the recycle bin at the same time. For a while. I could ignore it. I am the son if a veteren. However, My nerves are pretty bad, and i suffer anxiety as my dad was exposed to a nerve agent called agent orange or something. But really, Im really suffering here now. And, I did have cancer. I had to endure all this during my treatment. severe health issues like this need rest and less stress. I have other issues that prevent me from stopping him if things got physical, not to mention hes bigger than me. And I am not the violent type.. and, He is far too unpredictable. So. Can someone please help me? I am worried he will upset my mother to the ppint of a heart attack. Or me. Im a peaceful guy. I never retaliate, i am also a believer in karma. My mother has a bad heart. And heart problems runs in our family. My anxiety was so bad once, i couldnt sleep for 17 days. I swear it was hell on earth. It nearly drove me crazy, literally. But I really need someones advice. I cannot afford to move. If i had $ id move 100%. But I cant even afford to rent somewhere else. And get away from here. I also am a cancer survivor. Id really like to take my drs orders and remIn stress free. But its extrenely hard. If anyone out there has a sollution. I would be indebted to you forever. I just want him to stop.

If someone was opening an independent bottle shop in your village/local area, what would you want to see? Not so much in terms of specific brewers etc as these will change and reflect trends.
But more thinking along the lines of whether appetite for:
-homegrown, foreign import sections? - products arranged and grouped by country of origin or product type, eg IPA, Blondes etc? - natural wines, ciders, non-alcoholic? - snacks and accompanying products eg posh nuts, crisps, pork scratchings? - is corkage fee off-putting for items consumed on-premise? - opening hours?
I feel our local area is missing a bottle shop. The area is upcoming and has plenty of professionals young and old that are commuting back and forth to the city where craft is definitely popular.

(This was obviously incredibly stupid.)
I was cleaning an area on my carpet and I sprayed Clorox Bleach cleaner as well as 70% Isopropyl Alcohol and topped it off with Apple Cider Vinegar (again, I understand exactly how stupid this was). All I did was brush it into the carpet (I wasn’t that close to it since I used a long resolve brush). My window (which is pretty large) was open the entire time and has been open since, I inhaled quite a bit of it for maybe 15 minutes and then left the room. I had a scratchy throat for a couple minutes but now feel fine. I could immediately smell how unusual and strong the sprays were and assumed I had mixed the wrong types of chemicals, but I only thought to google what my mixtures made after about an hour. So after finding out I had very likely made Chloroform (bleach + alcohol) and Chlorine gas (bleach + vinegar) I started freaking out. I had sprayed air freshener (before I knew anything was toxic) and with the window open I can’t really smell anything too strong now. The room’s door is shut (due to someone being in the living room, somewhat close to my bedroom) so I can’t air it out very well, but my window remains open and I’m in another room.
I also have a cat, who walks over and around the affected area quite often. As of now I’m planning on staying out of the room for now and using a water vacuum on the area as soon as I can (I’ll also wear a face covering , if that’ll even do anything). I’ll obviously keep my cat out of the room for at least a day and deep clean her water fountain and food bowls.
I’m just wondering if there’s anything specific I should be doing, how long until it’s safe for me to sleep in the room and for my cat to return to the area, etc..

Any beverage is better with ice. Coffee, milk, alcohol and tea included. I’d take a glass of melting ice over any room-temp orange juice. While we’re at it fruits are better refrigerated as well. Hot drinks are often better than room temperature but never better than iced.

Hey guys!
(Disclaimer : I am NOT a health professional, these are my results that I wanted to share because I was feeling proud but also surprised and really struggled with this diet cause I tend to criticize myself a lot)
After two weeks of dieting and exercising, here are my results and they kinda shocked me!
Info : (please do not compare my results with any otheyours, all of our bodies/metabolism/lifestyle is different) Female, 178 cm Tension and blood circulation issues Lifestyle : in bed or sitting all day, regular and slow exercise
1st May Weight : 83.3 kg (183 lbs) Body fat : 31.8% Waist : 83 cm (32.8 inch) Hips : 107.5 cm (42.2) Thigh : 66 cm (26) Arm : 34 cm (13.4)
14th May (I am discussing the results at the end) Weight : 81.9 kg Body fat : 30.7% Waist : 81.5 cm (31.9) Hips : 105 cm (41.4) Thigh : 65 cm (25.6) Arm : 33.8 cm (13)
My diet consists in first trying to control my binge eating, a calorie deficit (1400-1500 kcal), working out everyday or walking enough to burn around 300 kcal (I eat the calorie i burn, for example if I burned 300 cal I try to eat 300 more cal), cut alcohol and drink enough water.
The truth is : I WAS NOT ABLE TO DO ALL THIS !!! And it's fine, cause even if I didn't I made good steps and took good decisions for myself. A tiny step forward is still a step forward.
What truly happened :

• I had difficult moments and I binged BUT once or twice, way less than before
• I did not drink 2l of water everyday (never were able too), BUT drank at least a liter which is mych more than my past one glass a day😂
• I did not exercise or walk to burn 300 everyday, sometimes I had no time or no motivation to do so, BUT I managed to do so 2-3 times a week which is much more than in the past!
• I had a drink of alcohol every weekend and that is good! I decided to cut alcohol cause I realized my consumption could have a serious impact on my weight, did not completely cut it like I wanted BUT it's way less than my usual 4-5 drinks a week and I was able to say no when people offered it to me!
• Many times I went over the calories limit I set for myself, BUT we are not machines, life happens with beautiful things like good food, birthdays, or sometimes heartbreak and food is a nice comfort🩷

Now speaking about these results : I AM SHOCKED. If you look at the numbers, I lost weight and inches everywhere. However it was not linear, sometimes I gained weight and I felt really frustrated and did not believe my bf when he was saying my body changed. (If you look at my results today yes I lost weight, but two days ago I was crying because the number on the scale was way higher) So this is a reminder : you can trust the scale, BUT the number on it is ONE value. If you binged the day before, struggled with digestions, yes the number might increase. Also, even if your weight is the same doesn't mean you didn't build muscles and lost fat. Measurments are also a good way to see if you had results! No need to measure often, I did it once after 2 weeks and I think it was just on time to see enough results to keep pushing myself!
Another reminder : I have a scale problem, I weight myself everyday which is really not the best for your mental health and the past two weeks probed it. I was crying and sweating when I was weighting myself and it showed I gained weight. Weight loss, taking care of yourself and getting healthy is not linear. I knew it but I think i truly learned my lesson now.
So if you can see yourself in this or feel less guilty with my experience I guess writing this awfully long post was worth it (I'm sorry about the length btw)😂
YOU GOT THIS. Showing up for yourself, even if it's a little, even if it's once in a while is still embracing and taking care of yourself🩷

Just a disclaimer, I have ADHD, and I do follow CPT/cognitive personality theory.

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

— My parents (specifically my mom), is religious, but they’re never forced any of us (me and our siblings) to believe in the religion. Just participating in the festivals and certain rituals was/still is expected, though.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

—If I were to spend the entire weekend by myself, I’d honestly feel kinda lethargic and dead inside—not because of lack of socialization, but because the vibes of the house is off when there’s no one. I can tell someone’s out of the house just by the pure vibes I’m getting. It feels weird even with one person gone (we’re a family of five; me, my younger brother and sister, and mom & dad).

• What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage in?

—My relationship with movement and surroundings, is that I think I have great spatial awareness. I’m able to carry and do things in certain ways in order to avoid any pointless harm (such as avoiding to accidentally hitting the door on my leg as it closes). The type of activities I do tend to engage in outside is mainly just focusing on what I’m thinking about when walking outside, or just waiting to go back home.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

—I’d say I’m pretty curious—I’ve always wondered why something makes me feel a certain way, for example, in lit & comp we recently learned about film composition, and after learning some of the stuff, I was able to spot it in the shows and videos I watched. After said lesson, I was always wondering about whether or not if the creators I watched (especially on YouTube) actually used said film composition, but it’s definitely interesting to look for.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

—I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy taking a leadership position, but I’m willing to do so, especially if a project in class is summative/part of our grade. I’d be the leader if no one else had already taken up the position. It does make me feel quite nervous when I am in said position, though.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

—I’d consider myself pretty coordinated. I know exactly how much milk to pour in a certain glass, and I know exactly where on the fingerboard of my violin each note is. I can also catch myself when I’m about to fall pretty well.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

—The past in my opinion, is something that can give you knowledge for the future. Basically, it gives you the info for what not to do in the future, and how to avoid X circumstance, the best way forward, etc.
—The future on the other hand, I believe is kinda something you could plan for, or have a very vague idea of, but you can’t necessarily do anything about in the present. It’ll come when it comes.
—And for the present, I believe that it’s the most “calm before the storm” scenario. Its characteristics can only be defined by the current situation that’s happening; there’s nothing you could do to mitigate it, other than continuously plan for its eventual outcome.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

—If they’re asking for something like asking for a charger or something (such as in school), I’ll generally decline unless they’re my friend, because it just takes so much unnecessary effort to pack up your charger. If it’s something I’m interested in helping with though, I’d gladly throw up word vomit at them, and then usually regret it later on. Basically, I’ll help someone if it’s no effort involved in my side and/or if I have a deep interest in the subject they need help on.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

—Productivity isn’t as important to me as much as efficiency is, but productivity does tend to make me feel good. I often find myself wondering if my attention to the efficiency is actually a result of my obvious laziness. Like, I would literally pack my tiffin box in a certain way in my lunch bag so that when I take it out of my back pack, it isn’t all leaning to one side. I’ll also always wear my jacket everywhere because they have pockets, and I’m always like, “what if it rains by chance?” And I’ve actually been saved by my jacket multiple times that way.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

—I’d say I’m decent at strategizing. I could use it effectively, but I just end up not putting the plan into use, because I either don’t have the motivation, or the deadline has been so long past that it isn’t worth it anymore.

• What's important to you and why?

—Freedom of thought, and expression. Also the freedom of being able to silently judge others. Mostly because I just want to be able to have/own my thoughts and opinions, if that makes sense?

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

—The “highs” in my life may look like when I’m able to turn in assignments on time, not feel complete demotivation, and able to live up to others expectation.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

—The opposite of my highs. I suppose I’m in one of my “lows” right now.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

—I pay attention to the world around me, but I feel like I’m never really in the present. It’s like there’s always something going on in my mind regardless of what’s happening in the foreground.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

—I’d probably end up sleeping tbh. But I’d also probably start over-analyzing my understanding of a concept or subject. For example, CPT/cognitive personality theory, or MBTI. Basically, I’d be trying to find multiple ways of understanding a subject so that I could fully understand it.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

—I usually don’t take much time to make an important decision usually because the thing is important. And no, I don’t generally tend to change my mind once I’ve done so.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

—Yes, usually in order to avoid being out on the spot for anything. If they end up asking me their opinion, I usually try to say it in a polite manner, usually starting with, “I think X because Y,” etc. etc.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?

—I’d say I break rules pretty often, but they’re mainly arbitrary house-hold rules (the usuals, no phone after 10pm, no phone in the bathroom, no staying up late, etc.). I break them because in personally don’t find them logical.
—I do think authority shouldn’t be challenged as much as specific rules should be challenged. Mainly because yeah, they generally know better.

• What is the ideal life, in your opinion?

—I honestly have no idea at this point.

Lately I haven’t been able to understand who is the person or judge or who’s protecting Joshua Homme, let’s take a look at his current situation.
The dude gets to tour the world whilst his kids are taking care by his parents, didn’t he accused Brody Dalle of being a terrible mother, how come he gets high wherever he is playing, let’s think about it, does it mean he has a drug dealer wherever he goes and who’s the one providing him the drugs?? His manager Kevin?? He that felt abused by Brody Dalle is going out with a married woman that is cheating on her husband Ryan Ashley Malarkey having sex with her on the tour bus this past weekend in Florida. While everybody outside is listening, didn’t he accused Brody of cheating? Ok in here there is a woman Ryan Ashley who is not a victim of Joshua, is part of the same trash that enable this man to go through like without moral and respect over the others let’s call things the way they are, this woman has a child yet she doesn’t care and have sex in the middle of the parking lot of the venue when she is still married So both of them have no moral compass, none of them specially her have a little respect for herself. This is the reason why Joshua Homme is not held accountable, he seems untouchable, as long as we have women as Ryan Ashley Malarkey, sluts that have zero respect for themselves we will continue to have men as Joshua Homme. An alcoholic with zero respect for fans, women, security venue, band mates even for his children?? Shouldn’t the police investigate where and how he is able to buy drugs overseas and inside the country?? Let’s started to respect ourselves canceling this type of people.
Enough with the double standards, Joshua are you going to pay to have this delete?
Why are dating a married woman? I thought that was a sin??
Does this mean that we need to have rich parents to do whatever the hell we want?
Who’s protecting Joshua Homme?

canceljoshuahomme

cancelryanashleymalarkey

cancelqotsa

cancelabusers

canselinkmaster

(Sorry this will be long also sorry for the typos it’s really late while I’m typing this)
Long time lurker in this subreddit as I was hoping to get inspired by some of the users stories though the inspiration lasted only a few minutes. What I’m hoping to get out of this post is some guidance or a wake up call as I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom with no upward motion. I know I need to be better than this and I want to be better than this.
I’m a 26 year old African American male , still lives at home with his parents , no real job at the moment (currently applying) and I feel like all my life I have been persevering,inconsistent , and always playing catch up. But this officially feels like my last chance to lock in and stop messing around with my life. I’m currently on academic suspension from my 3rd year of a doctorate of pharmacy program and in the appeal process to get reinstated back into the program I also got my pharmacist intern license suspended until I get reinstated to school again which is kind of hindering me from getting a job in a pharmacy. I’m trying to take the steps to make myself ready to step back into school and get my act together though I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START!!! I have not told my friends or family about it because I feel like I’ve failed myself and them. I take full responsibility for this. however, the factors leading to this situation date back to 2020. My life felt like I was on the right trajectory I had a great physical and mental health relationship with myself, great connections with family and friends,I had investments, I was planning financially for the future ,I had my own business as a strength and conditioning specialist and worked at a physical therapy facility as an assistant I graduated college with a double major in public health and kinesiology with an emphasis in clinical movement i took the mcat didn’t do too well so I applied out of the country for med school was doing well for the first semester though I began having trouble with my significant other and felt as though we were drifting apart and the situation I felt we were all in at the time was a bit much and it took a toll on me academically and in the relationship trying to balance a fun romantic life with a medical program that I was supposed to dedicate 4-8 years of my life to ultimately lead to me getting dismissed from med school due to not passing to classes . Following this news my ex got a job out of state and moved while I was trying to find a new career shift or professional degree to obtain I immediately landed two pharmacy school interviews about a month after applying and got accepted to one of the schools this career choice was never in my cards as I’ve always wanted to have a doctorate degree and work on that level. Few weeks after that me and my ex had separated officially and it took a bigger toll on me than expected and manifested in the worst ways possible for me . Instead of seeking therapy I copped in other ways. It impacted me financially I bought a brand new Mercedes that took most of my money I was impatient with my investments and sold majority of my bitcoin thinking it wouldn’t go up again (L move) my credit score went from 750+ to low 500’s by placing myself into 15k credit card debt paying for alcohol & weed (exponentially more than what I had before), clothes , and random vacations and dates with women from hinge and tinder all on top of student loans for grad school. I developed a sex addiction and added over 100 bodies in a span of 2 years . Had a panic attack that put me in the ER . All while dragging my way through pharmacy school (I’m more than capable of understanding and implementing the material into practice my study habits and focus were always elsewhere). Not to mention I think I have a social media addiction and my procrastination and laziness has led me to feel more anxious and depressed. My physical fitness and diet has suffered thought not entirely that’s pretty much the only positive habit I have since 2020. I just feel like my life is leading to a path of no return and I’ll be homeless one day. I need to turn things around I can’t always think I’ll catch up I have to get ahead and stay ahead. I want to be person that makes myself proud and inspire other young African American men or anyone who’s had odds stacked against them. How do I turn this around?