Toronto accident cars for salev

This post has the potential to be a bit long, so please bear with me...
A question I often ask myself is "are there financial planners for people like me who don't have a ton of money and often barely make ends meet?" So now, I guess I'm asking this sub. I don't know where to turn at this point in my life, which has been riddled with terrible financial decisions, bad luck, and family health issues.
About me: 39, male, USA. I work full-time for a health care company in Pennsylvania, making right around $88K yearly before taxes and deductions. My wife is unable to work due to a variety of health issues (both mental and physical), but does have a small Etsy shop that brings in an average of $300 on a good month. We have an unusually large family by today's standards -- 7 children ranging from 6 years old (twins) to 17. This is the part where people usually look at me like I have three heads, understandably so. Before my wife's health issues, she was a paramedic and in nursing school. So the plan was to eventually have two incomes once the kids were a bit older, but life didn't turn out that way. And before anyone asks, yes, we are done with having kids. I love them all more than life itself and would never imagine a world without them, but I am smart enough now to know that it would not have been this hard with fewer kids.
It's been very hard (nay, impossible) to get by on one income and a large family, even with some help from relatives along the way. But through it all, we have barely made it work, although I have shot my credit to hell and back in the process. My score hovers around 550 to 570 most of the time, but plummets pretty fast if I miss a payment on something.
Right now, high interest debt is my main issue. I have a variety of low-limit credit cards all maxed out (probably $5k total) a personal loan from OneMain Financial ($400 payment), an auto loan from Carvana/BridgeCrest ($508 payment, worst mistake of my life honestly but was in a desperate situation at the time), and student loans I've had to either defer or flat out stop paying. Other high expenses are groceries, obviously, but I do get $600 in SNAP benefits each month, car insurance at $250 per month because my wife has gotten into a few accidents the last 5 years, and of course rent, which is $1,900 since we need a 5-bedroom house for our large family. We used to own our home but were forced to sell in 2022 due to a variety of issues and our dire need to find a larger place to live for our growing kids.
Suffice to say, most months we either barely make ends meet, or don't at all. I sometimes have to rely on cash advance apps like MoneyLion and Earnin just to make it to the next payday. I have pretty much nothing in savings except for a very small "retirement" account, which is in quotes because I contribute 1% to it just to get my company match. I drained it a few years ago during an emergency that is too long of a story to tell here.
Everyone that I have talked to has said the same essential thing -- to look for a higher-paying job. While this is true, it's more complicated than that in reality. My current job (which I have been at for 1.5 years) affords me the flexibility to work from home most days, and understands that I need to care for my wife (who has substantial mental health issues) and kids and not be "on" 100% of the time. That is often more valuable than a higher salary, but I do know that I am capable and skilled enough in my field to eventually take a shot at a higher paying job.
So. What the heck do I do? Is there someone I can talk to about all this, who can give me real, practical advice? Would a credit union be able to help me with my high-interest debt yet terrible credit score/profile? Ideally, I would love to be able to consolidate all my debt into something more manageable. Is that even a possibility with my credit being bad? I get mail offers all the time saying I am "pre-selected" or pre-approved for a consolidation loan from some random company. I think these are all debt relief companies or possibly a scam, right? I am also severely underwater with our current vehicle as mentioned above. I owe probably 8k more than what it's worth right now, and the van is pretty much a lemon with how many problems it has.
Thank you for reading all this. I am a fairly positive person (I have to be, with the kids and taking care of my wife) but this feels pretty hopeless to me right now. I just wish I could hand over everything to someone who can manage my finances for me, and do the heavy lifting to get things under control. Sigh.

This is half a block off Bayshore next to the Virage. Just curious if anyone has any info on this accident. About 7 cop cars and several EMTs were on scene. There were a couple cars that looked involved but they left too quickly for that to be the case. There’s something laying under a white sheet in the middle of the road. I say something because the shape looks a little odd to be a person, but then I don’t know what else they’d cover with a sheet. Just wondering if anyone has any info on what happened since it didn’t seem like any of the cars around were involved. It’s got my morbid curiosity piqued! I didn’t want to ask on site since it looked like it had just happened and it didn’t want to interrupt for curiosity sake.

So my fiancé got into a car accident in my car . He was rear ended and then got pushed into a different lane and the front of the car was smashed by a car coming from the other lane, we have a baby and he doesn’t usually drive but I was at work and had to pick up our baby. He isn’t on my insurance which I know he should be but had some issues with his License so we never got around to it. It was 100% not his fault and he was literally just stopped waiting to turn . Someone even got it on video. Will that matter if he wasn’t on the insurance , also what makes it worse is I had got in an accident myself last year and had to get a new car . I still have a pretty hefty loan , what ever my “car worth” is, is probably around the same as the loan payment . I’m really upset but not sure what is to be expected.. will I most likely just be able to pay for the loan and then not have anything left to get a new car ? I’m not sure how it works and I’m stressed lol ! And yes I filed a claim just waiting to hear back

It's been rattling around in my head for a while, longer than I'd care to admit, and this is the first time I am even acknowledging this out loud, at least in the virtual sense. I'm also not quite ready to talk to my friends about this, but this group as always been so supportive, so I feel safe bringing it here first.
Not to date myself, but I feel like that Dane Cook sketch where he talks about finding any reason to stay (side note is he cancelled now?). My boyfriend (will call him James for anonymity's sake) and I been together almost 4 years, have lived together for 3, have a dog together, a whole life together! All of my close friends are married now and keep asking where he and I see ourselves in terms of marriage and starting a family. If you asked me that in the first year of our relationship, I would have said within a year or so we'd be married. But a lot of shit can happen over 3 years.
All of my close friends also have parents that are still together and modelled what healthy relationships look like between spouses and between parents and children - James and I both come from difficult childhoods with abusive parents, with major substance abuse issues on his side too. Because of that, I've always been extremely cognizant of what my partner would be like as a father and husband, and I've come to accept that James won't be in the place I need him to be in for a long time. It was clear from the beginning of our relationship that he had a lot he needed to heal from, and I made it clear that a) it was not my job to help him heal and he needed to seek professional help and b) he needed to be doing it for himself and not because I told him he needed to. I of course committed to supporting him in any way he (reasonably) needed, but I did not want to become his personal therapist.
Unfortunately I think I had unfair expectations of how quickly things would move. Credit where credit is due, he's been making a lot of progress addressing the deep-seated trauma he carries from his childhood and relationship with his parents. Life throws curveballs sometimes though, and he had a drug relapse last year following a car accident we were in. He's been sober for a few months now and has been putting in a lot of hard work, but it has also affected our relationship dynamic a lot. Getting sober causes so much physical, mental, and emotional strain on someone, and I don't want to add to that by bringing up challenges in the relationship. But I also know it's not fair to keep everything to myself to spare his mental health at the expense of my own.
I brought up a week or two ago that I was scared that I couldn't wait for him to work through things and that I also didn't feel it was even fair to put that kind of pressure on him - healing takes the time that it takes and can't be rushed. He then told me that he and his therapist had actually talked about this recently, and she had told him that she didn't think he'd be in the place for kids for a long time. He seemed to agree with her and also said he was unsure if he'd ever be ready to be a father after everything he went through with his own.
That conversation right there should have been the end of the relationship. If only it were that easy. I think I've accepted that the relationship needs to end, but I am so scared of what comes after it. I just turned 30 and all of my friends are married and having kids. The thought of returning to dating is frankly terrifying. What if I don't find the person? But I keep reminding myself that if it's not the person, then it's not worth marriage and it's certainly not worth bringing children into the mix. It would be better to be alone than to live in a marriage like my parents had or to put my children through what I went through.
Then you have the logistical nightmare of it all. And this is where my ADHD is a real bitch and is contributing to my break-up paralysis. I live in a somewhat high cost of living area, and don't want to leave it right now, so I feel sick thinking about finding a new place to live on a single income. I also live in a different state than most of my friends and family and don't currently have a car. Moving in general sucks so much, but doing it without my own car? Makes me want to crawl in a hole.
And then there's our dog, the absolute light of my life. I adore him with every fiber of my being. While he's technically mine on paper, we got him together, and I'm not sure James will easily give him up. Logically, I think he would agree that it makes more sense for me to have him - he does a lot of extreme outdoor sports and would have to leave the dog by himself for a lot of the time if I wasn't there. But I also dread thinking about how hard it would be for our dog to not see James again. Like right now, he's out of town on a work trip, and our dog has lost his mind every evening when he's heard a car door slam outside and thought it was James coming home. But at the same time, I cannot fathom the option of letting James take him.
A therapist would say I'm trying to rationalize everything right now, I would say I'm just trying to process it all. It really really sucks when the main reason for ending the relationship is the timing being wrong. I know that with healing and growth, James will be an amazing husband and father, if that's what he wants. But I don't think I can wait for that. Which feels both selfish and selfless, depending on how I look at it.
Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, going to go make my dog anxious by crying into his fur.

I just got in a car accident recently and need to make some of my money back. if you or anybody you know needs a 3 day GA ticket let me know please. selling for 550$

I (25F) live in a shared apartment with three roommates. One of my roommates, let's call her Anna (27F), recently totaled her car in an accident. She doesn't have the money to buy a new one right away and has been using public transportation to get around.
Yesterday, Anna asked if she could borrow my car for the weekend to visit her family, as they live in a nearby town. I was hesitant because I need my car for work, and I had plans to go out of town myself over the weekend. I politely declined and explained my reasons to Anna.
She got upset and accused me of being selfish and inconsiderate. She said that since we're roommates, we should help each other out in times of need. I understand her situation, but I don't think it's fair for her to expect me to inconvenience myself for her convenience.
Some of our other roommates are siding with Anna, saying that I should be more willing to help out a friend in need. But I feel like my decision was reasonable, considering my own responsibilities and plans.
So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to lend my car to my roommate?

During a storm a huge tree limb fell on my daughter's car while parked at her bf's house and caused a lot of damage. I'm going to call in the claim this morning but I'm afraid our insurance will deny it and want to go after him or his land lord for their insurance. Her bf rents and is about to move, so having a good reference (especially in our town) is critical. His landlord has been unpleasant ever since he gave notice he would be moving in a few months, so I don't want to cause him issues. I'm willing to say the accident happened in the street while parked, but honestly, I'd rather not if it's not going to matter. I'm not sure how these "acts of God" claims work.

I want to go through the home buyers’ program but I’m not sure if I can do it. I need to give a back story first. My grandma owned 2 homes in our hometown (she lived in one of the homes), an apt building, and part of a vacation time share in Florida. My grandmother put my dad (her son) in the other home so he wouldn’t have to pay rent (the white house). But he was responsible for paying taxes and the upkeep of the home. But unfortunately, he could never pay the taxes on time and spent his money poorly. So, She took care of it when necessary. I think that’s why she always kept the house in her name because she knew he would lose it. Now I’ve always known my dad to be a drunk and he had a gambling addiction too. He was a violent drunk and abusive to my mom. which he denies to this day and swears nothing ever happened but I remember things. You would think he would want to fix his life when I came into the picture. Me being his oldest child and first born at age 31. But no! my sister came 3 years later. My grandma died when I was 8 years old from the injuries of a car accident in 2000. She left a will and was also given a $100,000 settlement from the trucker who hit her. she left the (white house) to my dad. And her home she left to my dad, my sister and I. we all own a third with me and my sister being Co-owner. my dad stayed living in the white house and rented out my grandma’s home after her passing. He ended up losing the white house for not making payments and moved into my grandmother’s homes. Now that my sister (29) and I (31) are adults we want to sell the home. it is old and run down but still livable. my dad lives in the home but can’t keep up with it. he has never been good with money. And now that he is older and his health has declined it is not safe for him to stay in the home. But he will not leave. He has fallen a couple times and needs to be in a senior living apartment. It is hard on me and my sister because we live about two hours away so when something happens, we can’t get to him fast enough. My dad is the only child and acts like it. He thinks we owe him something. But he wasn’t really around growing up and always left us with broken promises. sometimes blamed us for things we had no control over as minors that had to do with my mother leaving him. Mentally it feels like I’m talking to a child when I talk to him. We have had offers on the home, people have come out and looked and gave us offers. He wasn’t okay with moving and had a complete tantrum about it in front of the realtor. Looking like a 5-year-old that wasn’t getting his way. But we had to explain to him that when he is gone, he is leaving us with debt because of him not making payments. Not to mention he always pay the taxes late to where he has to get liens on the home or payment plans. my sister has paid the taxes a couple times while living with him in her early 20s. but he's not getting my money I work hard for while he drinks and gamble his away. there was A lot we didn’t understand, and he wasn’t telling the truth, so we had to call and find out for ourselves. He wanted to get a $200,000 home repair loan for the house but can't do it without me and my sister's signature as well. I told him no! you're not putting me in debt. you will get that money and not use it for the house or pay it back! My dad is a selfish person and never thought about his kids. one minute its "this is all of our house" and when he's mad and doesn't get his way, then its "this is my house! mama left this house to me!". but we have the will we know what it says. He played stepdaddy to his wife and her kids before doing for us. And they treated him like shit including the wife. They married in 2008 have been separated since 2014 but she is still around when that check comes and driving his car because he can’t drive anymore. He had the nerve to tell me and my sister he wanted us to pay for his divorce. Not happening! He didn’t even think of us when he got the settlement from my grandma death. I don’t have any kids but if I did and something like that happens to me, I’m putting that money in an account for my kids to accumulate over the years that way by time they are adults they have some type of leeway to get by. But that money was probably gone the same year my grandma died. And when we bring it up my dad acts like there was never any money but my mom made sure she got all the paperwork for us as proof later down the line. Now my dad is living off social security. And still drinking. Which is more of a reason he needs to move. One minute he is ready to move and when it’s time to find places then he back tracks. It’s frustrating. He is a drunk, will spend his check on liquor and do the bare minimum with bills. Then expect his kids to pick up the slack like his mom did. you had enough time to get it together. I have my own problems and my own bills. You live in a way better area then your kids and still want to take from us while we are out surviving learning as we go. I work for everything I have. I’ve never expected anyone to do for me that I can’t do for myself.
Now I want to go through with the first-time home buyers’ program. But I’m not sure if I can do anything with that house in my name. and he knows this but doesn’t care. He won’t sell the house. I mean he is out voted 2 v 1 but I don’t have the money to take him to court to make him leave. Us selling the house can really help all 3 of us out. I’m doing ok for myself I live within my means, and I save. But in this economy what does that really mean. That money would really help, and my sister has four kids. That money could really help her too. I just don’t know what to do. I just want him to think about his daughters, shit his grandkids as well. I guess its too late. We are just trying to survive that’s it.

My wife has a Tesla model Y and I was waiting to change my truck to the cyber truck when available. My wife got into an accident with the model Y 2 days ago, the police office needs to access the recording of seconds before the crash, to understand who is in fault on this accident.
At first, I had no doubts that it would be an easy task to gather this info, it turned out, the screen keeps spinning and don't show the recording. After spending hours with Tesla support, they asked me to go to the car, which was in the collision yard, to get the USB drive. It was a hard task due to the location of the car, and due to the fact that it was a hard access to reach and open the glove box, but still, such an important information, I got it done.
It turned out, the USB did not contain any recording of the 13th, last recording was from the 12th, one day before the crash.
I was instructed to submit data request from Tesla, which I did, it came back with no recordings.
Some of Tesla techs believe that recording is at the car screen yet, and due to the crash, it did not get synced to the USB drive.
Making long story short, I want to express that no one was able to help, there was no effort to help, they refused to send a tech to the car to attempt to collect such an important information for my family.
After hours and multiple calls, emails and chats, everyone seems to be reading scripts and making excuses but trying to help me.
I want to express that I was extremely happy with Tesla, my wife had a car (which she crashed) I was even thinking to make a post showing how safe tesla cars are because it was a bad crash and my family is safe.
I was waiting on the cyber truck to come out so I can change my truck, and so on. It is extremely sad that all this turned around with me having one of the worse experiences from Tesla customer support. Not only I got no help, but I won't be replacing her car with a new Tesla, also I no longer will be getting the cyber truck, or be spreading how good Tesla products are. Imagine how many customers could be going by the same frustration, and unfortunately the blame goes to the support crew.
I hope this gets somewhere, just because I care and I wish Tesla was great not only in their products, but in their services and support as well.

I would like to know why many drivers around here aren't yielding to pedestrians when turning at an intersection? There's even a clear indication of the walking symbol and not a flashing hand telling me to hurry up and cross. Do they honestly need to risk running over people, as well as children, because they're not patient enough to wait for people walking across the road?
It's like they are RACING me, ffs!! I can feel the wind from the car on my back as I step onto the damn curb. They also race right in front of me before I step onto the curb!! It even happens at cross walks! One time, we pressed the button at the cross walk and the guy yelled out..."TOO LATE!!!", but he definitely had time to stop, man. It's total insanity. They'll learn when it's "too late", though, right? I'm so sick of this absolute BS. Do better, Toronto. 🙄
Edit: Who would downvote this?? Are you good, bro?

Last week I got a dui and totaled my car. I was driving to the casino after drinking at home. I wake up with a panic attack every morning remembering what I did-I regret it so much. I could’ve easily killed someone. I live in the middle of nowhere so I don’t know what I’m going to do without a car. I just am posting this hoping it will remind people of the consequences of binge drinking and maybe remind someone not to drink today. At least don’t get behind the wheel. It’s never worth it. The sad thing is since the accident I have drank again. I don’t know what it will take for me to learn my lesson.

I was involved in a car accident last week and been feeling on edge since. I got rear-ended at a stop so I wasn’t at fault. My damage wasn’t as bad as the other two cars involved (the car that hit me was ran into by the driver behind them) but my neck has been feeling tense since the following day and it’s scaring me so bad. Going through the legal process of getting repairs and my health addressed is so overwhelming as I’ve never went through this before. I told my psychiatrist this today and he sent me referrals for therapy, I could have PTSD from the accident as I’ve been feeling sick and anxious since getting behind the wheel now.
I got a call from the psychiatrist’s front office not long after my appointment saying I needed another card on file to pay for my copay, as my current one declined (I’m in a financial hardship and had been notified of insufficient funds before with them) but the lady sounded really rude about it and said I won’t see my doctor anymore if it happens again. She could’ve been polite about it but I didn’t like how she said it. I normally treat people with respect and try to hide my frustrations when I’m upset, but I ended up cutting her off and explained my situation to her. She said she understood but she still sounded pissed off and said it can’t happen anymore. I gave her my other card info to pay and hung up on her.
I hope I can get over all of this soon. It makes me feel sick to think about everything that has happened.

Hey guys, need an important advice to proceed further, I rented out a vehicle for a trip in December 2023 with my employer discount rate with CDW included in it ( I couldn’t refuse it). I got into an accident - TP fault, sad thing is the other driver is uninsured. The damages were charged on my card. When I reached out to enterprise car rental about me having CDW on agreement, they told me that my CDW was voided because it wasn’t a business trip. I have amex card. Please guide me with anything helpful. Thanks

My boyfriend (20) wildly backed out of the parking spot as we were leaving for work the other day. I pay for half of the monthly bill and gas prices so in return he drives me around while I’m in the process of getting my license. Anyone who’s been in a car before knows the feeling of someone slamming on the gas pedal. He reversed out of the parking spot so aggressively that I instantly hopped out the car the second he was still. He told me he was going to leave without me but only drove maybe 5 feet before parking. I realize I don’t have my phone with me to call an Uber to work and of course I’m walking right back to the car. While I’m in the passenger seat looking for my phone (I can’t find it, he grabbed it) he watches me look for it and out of no where steps on the gas and reverses. The passenger door was still open and it swung very hard knocking me back easily 3/4 feet. I was caught off guard but managed to stay on my feet. He chased after me claiming he meant to put the car in neutral and it was 100% an accident. He walks up to me, my phone in his hand. I slapped him across the face so hard his glasses flew off. He still keeps saying it was an accident but I just don’t believe that you can “accidentally” shift the gear that easily or “accidentally” press on the gas that hard. I haven’t been able to look at him the same since that day. Thanks for listening

Hello i got into a car accident yesterday and I was making a U turn in an intersection (no sign was there prohibiting it) and this guy came full speed and hit the left side of my car when i was half way through the turn. we exchanged information and he keeps threatening to call the cops on me for driving without insurance when i literally let him take a picture of mine and i took a picture of his. i don’t know what to do about it cause almost every hour he sends “im going to call the cops because you were driving without insurance” which isnt true. also i am a F17 and he was M19. my car is undirveable and his car just got a scratch. his insurance company called me but i told him to contact my mom about it because i don’t know what to do. so now do i just play the waiting game with my family’s insurance company?

Me (39F) and my ex husband (39M) divorced a few years ago. We have three kids together.
I will admit that the divorce was due to my infidelity. I was in an almost 2 year relationship with someone i thought i was in love with. My ex husband found out and confronted me, i was tired of living a lie, and i confessed which i think he should have given me some credit for. I did not try to lie, and also told him it was not the first time i had had an affair because i wanted to be honest with him. I ended up leaving the house for two weeks and went to visit my cousin in another state. After a couple of weeks, he asked if i wanted to try couples counseling. He didnt want the family split up and deal with disrupting their lives, the kids were all teenagers and would be adults soon, could we wait until they were 18. I told him no, i had made my choice. To be fair, we had been living seperate lives for about 5 years prior to the divorce (seperate bedrooms, didnt eat dinner together, totally seperate lives). So it wasnt like we both didnt see this coming but he was still pretty upset.
He was very amicable during the divorce, but I do have regrets. The man i was seeing didnt end up leaving his wife, and in my affair fog (and guilt) i gave my ex husband everything. The house, car, didnt ask for alimony, didnt request child support, just that he pay the expenses for our kids extra curriculars. I do regret not asking for child support because i am now trying to support myself and kids with only my income.
Anyway, during most of my divorce my ex was fine. We had a shared birthday party, i was allowed to come to the house whenever i wanted. It was great.
My ex husband met someone a couple of weeks before our divorce was finalized, so we were still married. She didnt reach out to try and meet me so i found her at a basketball game and introduced myself. She smiled and said hi and told me her name and then returned to her conversation. Completely ignoring me which I felt was disrespectful. I let it go.
Immediately after our divorce was finalized my ex shut down. He stopped running to grab things for me when i needed them (prior to this hed run and grab me stuff for work if i couldnt leave). He stopped responding to my friendly texts, wouldnt help me move when i was moving to a new apartment from my old one, I showed up to the house at one point and he text me after that he doesnt want me in his house anymore (it was my house for almost 15 years and my kids live there half the month). I truly felt like this was his new girlfriend, because everything was fine up until she showed up in the picture.
A few months later I find out she has kids. I was extremely upset because i was not told any of this about her. I knew nothing about her at all from him. On top of that, i found out she is not the primary parent. Her kids live with their dad 80% of the year apparently. I admit i did react harshly (as any parent would do when they find out this info) and texted my ex that i was very upset as he never told me she had kids and i did tell him that due to her custody arrangement i was concerned she was a child abuser and i told him i would like sole custody of our children and would be contacting an attorney. I did this, but a background check on her came up clean so i did not proceed (im still not convinced on this because just because she didnt get caught doesnt mean it didnt happen) but after that things got sour. I tried explaining that I was only concerned about my kids but he didn’t care.
A year goes by and one of my friends said she had seen her and she looks pregnant. Turns out this genius accidentally knocked her up. I texted him and asked if they were expecting and he said yes. I did fly off the handle because I was not told this by him. I had to find out through the grapevine. I was humiliated because i had no idea. They had a huge gender reveal with all of my kids and her kids and were actually celebrating this. So my kids are being taught that getting someone pregnant after a year is acceptable. I understand accidents happen but it should be presented that way and not with a party with my kids present.
At this point im concerned for my kids safety, but i figured it was the first relationship post divorce and he would probably leave her soon enough anyway. But now shes went and got pregnant so shes going to be around my kids permanently. I told him again i wanted her away from my kids because she could be dangerous and i know nothing about her and she has not even attempted to get to know me to make me feel more comfortable. i told him those concerns that she doesnt want to get to know me and obviously has cast judgement on me for my past. That is the only reason i could think that she wouldnt try to get to know me or respect me enough to talk to me in public. I also told him my concerns that everything was fine in our coparenting relationship until he met her.
My ex told me “she hasnt judged you. She is offended because you have repeatedly called her a child abuser and have told people that she is dangerous to be around children. Some of the kids friends wont even come over to our house anymore and youve humiliated her. The custody arrangement she has is because her ex moved away while she was in PA school and she knew she couldn’t give them the life they would have with their dad during that time. A child abuser would not be getting their kids every summer and every holiday. You also get upset and tell me she doesn’t care about our kids because she wont drive them to school. Shes too scared to be alone around them because of your accusations, and shes also tried to not make the situation worse by stepping on your toes”.
I am frustrated because he doesnt seem to understand where i am coming from. ANY mother would be concerned about this given her custody arrangement and i am being treated like im a monster by him. I have a right as a mother to know who is around my kids.
Im frustrated because i see pictures of them taking just her kids to the childrens zoo. I confronted him on this and he said he didnt think our teenagers would want to go to a petting zoo, so he took them during my custody time, but next time would invite all the kids.
Its been a few years now, theyre still together, and i feel like she has started majorly overstepping. She sent me a message with concerns about my daughters mental health and told me that i should try talking to her when she goes back home because she was “concerned”. This is the only time shes ever initiated contact with me and its about my kids (i dont need his girlfriend contacting me about my kids, he needs to). At the time i didnt see any issue with my daughters mental health so i ignored it. A few months later, i get the same thing. That shes “genuinely concerned” about her mental health as my daughter seems to be depressed, shes torn the house apart, and some of the little things she says are indicating she might be depressed and it is “presenting as anger”. At the time i thought my daughter just had severe anger problems and i didn’t need some random girl messaging me about MY children. I flipped out and threatened to sue her if she contacted me again because at this point two texts about the same thing was excessive and I felt harassed. My daughter ultimately did get diagnosed with major depressive disorder and is on medication now and is doing well, after her guidance counselor reached out to me (which is who it should have come from to begin with, or her dad, but not the girl my ex husband is playing house with).
Theyre now engaged, and i still feel like he cares way more about the child they had together (and her kids) than the children we share together. Ive talked to my kids about moving in with me full time and told them they do not deserve the way their dad is treating them and acting as if he replaced them. They said no, they like the arrangement theyve had over the years and he coaches their sports teams so that would be weird anyway. I agreed with that and let it go.
I just want to know if anyone else has ever been in my shoes or advice on how to move foreward. I want my coparenting relationship back, but no matter how friendly i am to my ex he sends me one word answers. Never responds to my “how are you” texts. Only responds to me if its about the kids (and sometimes will respond to them about the texts i send. If one of the kids needs money he sends it directly to them and doesnt even acknowledge my text message). I do feel like he is being coached by his fiance and that she has turned him against me, and with her in the picture for the foreseeable future i am worried it will never change. Its clear she does not like me and i think shes making him hate me too and i dont know how to move foreward. All of my divorced friends seem to have great coparenting relationships and this whole thing is so embarassing that i just tell them my ex and i are still best friends but with the way im treated in public at the kids games it feels like they probably know that isnt true. They arent rude to me but just act as if i do not exist. At one point my ex pinned all of this on me, stating that my affair broke any friendship that we could have potentially had after the divorce and that there was no chance of his girlfriend ever forgiving me after the “slander” I committed (i didnt, i just expressed my concerns to him and a few of the parents on my kids teams).
I just want to know how to mend things with my ex. If i had known things would get this bad i would have just stuck it out for another few years.
To make things worse, they sold the house that i let my ex keep in the divorce and it had appreciated a lot. He didnt give me a single dime but they did buy a nice new house and she just got a brand new car. My friends all feel bad for me because they dont feel like i deserve this, im living in my friends rental home and sharing a car with my 17 year old because mine broke down. Not a dime of child support. But him and his fiance dont seem to care at all. And im starting to feel like she encouraged him to keep playing nice until the divorce was signed and he got every asset we shared together.

Me (39F) and my ex husband (39M) divorced a few years ago. We have three kids together.
I will admit that the divorce was due to my infidelity. I was in an almost 2 year relationship with someone i thought i was in love with. My ex husband found out and confronted me, i was tired of living a lie, and i confessed which i think he should have given me some credit for. I did not try to lie, and also told him it was not the first time i had had an affair because i wanted to be honest with him. I ended up leaving the house for two weeks and went to visit my cousin in another state. After a couple of weeks, he asked if i wanted to try couples counseling. He didnt want the family split up and deal with disrupting their lives, the kids were all teenagers and would be adults soon, could we wait until they were 18. I told him no, i had made my choice. To be fair, we had been living seperate lives for about 5 years prior to the divorce (seperate bedrooms, didnt eat dinner together, totally seperate lives). So it wasnt like we both didnt see this coming but he was still pretty upset.
He was very amicable during the divorce, but I do have regrets. The man i was seeing didnt end up leaving his wife, and in my affair fog (and guilt) i gave my ex husband everything. The house, car, didnt ask for alimony, didnt request child support, just that he pay the expenses for our kids extra curriculars. I do regret not asking for child support because i am now trying to support myself and kids with only my income.
Anyway, during most of my divorce my ex was fine. We had a shared birthday party, i was allowed to come to the house whenever i wanted. It was great.
My ex husband met someone a couple of weeks before our divorce was finalized, so we were still married. She didnt reach out to try and meet me so i found her at a basketball game and introduced myself. She smiled and said hi and told me her name and then returned to her conversation. Completely ignoring me which I felt was disrespectful. I let it go.
Immediately after our divorce was finalized my ex shut down. He stopped running to grab things for me when i needed them (prior to this hed run and grab me stuff for work if i couldnt leave). He stopped responding to my friendly texts, wouldnt help me move when i was moving to a new apartment from my old one, I showed up to the house at one point and he text me after that he doesnt want me in his house anymore (it was my house for almost 15 years and my kids live there half the month). I truly felt like this was his new girlfriend, because everything was fine up until she showed up in the picture.
A few months later I find out she has kids. I was extremely upset because i was not told any of this about her. I knew nothing about her at all from him. On top of that, i found out she is not the primary parent. Her kids live with their dad 80% of the year apparently. I admit i did react harshly (as any parent would do when they find out this info) and texted my ex that i was very upset as he never told me she had kids and i did tell him that due to her custody arrangement i was concerned she was a child abuser and i told him i would like sole custody of our children and would be contacting an attorney. I did this, but a background check on her came up clean so i did not proceed (im still not convinced on this because just because she didnt get caught doesnt mean it didnt happen) but after that things got sour. I tried explaining that I was only concerned about my kids but he didn’t care.
A year goes by and one of my friends said she had seen her and she looks pregnant. Turns out this genius accidentally knocked her up. I texted him and asked if they were expecting and he said yes. I did fly off the handle because I was not told this by him. I had to find out through the grapevine. I was humiliated because i had no idea. They had a huge gender reveal with all of my kids and her kids and were actually celebrating this. So my kids are being taught that getting someone pregnant after a year is acceptable. I understand accidents happen but it should be presented that way and not with a party with my kids present.
At this point im concerned for my kids safety, but i figured it was the first relationship post divorce and he would probably leave her soon enough anyway. But now shes went and got pregnant so shes going to be around my kids permanently. I told him again i wanted her away from my kids because she could be dangerous and i know nothing about her and she has not even attempted to get to know me to make me feel more comfortable. i told him those concerns that she doesnt want to get to know me and obviously has cast judgement on me for my past. That is the only reason i could think that she wouldnt try to get to know me or respect me enough to talk to me in public. I also told him my concerns that everything was fine in our coparenting relationship until he met her.
My ex told me “she hasnt judged you. She is offended because you have repeatedly called her a child abuser and have told people that she is dangerous to be around children. Some of the kids friends wont even come over to our house anymore and youve humiliated her. The custody arrangement she has is because her ex moved away while she was in PA school and she knew she couldn’t give them the life they would have with their dad during that time. A child abuser would not be getting their kids every summer and every holiday. You also get upset and tell me she doesn’t care about our kids because she wont drive them to school. Shes too scared to be alone around them because of your accusations, and shes also tried to not make the situation worse by stepping on your toes”.
I am frustrated because he doesnt seem to understand where i am coming from. ANY mother would be concerned about this given her custody arrangement and i am being treated like im a monster by him. I have a right as a mother to know who is around my kids.
Im frustrated because i see pictures of them taking just her kids to the childrens zoo. I confronted him on this and he said he didnt think our teenagers would want to go to a petting zoo, so he took them during my custody time, but next time would invite all the kids.
Its been a few years now, theyre still together, and i feel like she has started majorly overstepping. She sent me a message with concerns about my daughters mental health and told me that i should try talking to her when she goes back home because she was “concerned”. This is the only time shes ever initiated contact with me and its about my kids (i dont need his girlfriend contacting me about my kids, he needs to). At the time i didnt see any issue with my daughters mental health so i ignored it. A few months later, i get the same thing. That shes “genuinely concerned” about her mental health as my daughter seems to be depressed, shes torn the house apart, and some of the little things she says are indicating she might be depressed and it is “presenting as anger”. At the time i thought my daughter just had severe anger problems and i didn’t need some random girl messaging me about MY children. I flipped out and threatened to sue her if she contacted me again because at this point two texts about the same thing was excessive and I felt harassed. My daughter ultimately did get diagnosed with major depressive disorder and is on medication now and is doing well, after her guidance counselor reached out to me (which is who it should have come from to begin with, or her dad, but not the girl my ex husband is playing house with).
Theyre now engaged, and i still feel like he cares way more about the child they had together (and her kids) than the children we share together. Ive talked to my kids about moving in with me full time and told them they do not deserve the way their dad is treating them and acting as if he replaced them. They said no, they like the arrangement theyve had over the years and he coaches their sports teams so that would be weird anyway. I agreed with that and let it go.
I just want to know if anyone else has ever been in my shoes or advice on how to move foreward. I want my coparenting relationship back, but no matter how friendly i am to my ex he sends me one word answers. Never responds to my “how are you” texts. Only responds to me if its about the kids (and sometimes will respond to them about the texts i send. If one of the kids needs money he sends it directly to them and doesnt even acknowledge my text message). I do feel like he is being coached by his fiance and that she has turned him against me, and with her in the picture for the foreseeable future i am worried it will never change. Its clear she does not like me and i think shes making him hate me too and i dont know how to move foreward. All of my divorced friends seem to have great coparenting relationships and this whole thing is so embarassing that i just tell them my ex and i are still best friends but with the way im treated in public at the kids games it feels like they probably know that isnt true. I just want to know how to mend things with my ex. If i had known things would get this bad i would have just stuck it out for another few years.

I (38/F) am self employed as a house cleaner. My husband (40/m) works with me. This is mostly a venting/rant post.
I am burnt out. Being self employed is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I no longer have employees and do not intend to do so again.
I literally spend all day every day revolved around work. I hate it. It's making me physically sick and wearing my body down.
The problem is that my husband needs to get his shit together and get a job before I can move forward. He's not even trying. He comes home and plays computer games.
So on top of being out there cleaning, doing customer service & sales, doing all the bookkeeping and decision making for the business, as well as all the mental work for managing our home and family, I'm responsible for finding him a fucking job too.
The income from cleaning has become sporadic and unreliable so I'm also working a 2nd job delivering for Amazon 4-5 days a week. He's playing computer games. He doesn't cook. He only cleans on weekends (which i appreciate but he doesn't actually tidy anything up, he just does the laundry - but doesnt fold it - cleans the floors and dusts around whatever is there and calls it a day)
I am angry. I am hurt. I am burnt out. I feel helpless and stuck. I'm raging angry. And I want out. But BPD has me feeling terrified of taking the step to leave him and move forward in my life. It's making me want to die. Not suicidal, but just...wish for a car accident or something to take me out.
I am in therapy but 3 weeks between appointments and it just doesn't really help me with existing day to day yet

We recently received the free trial. We let the car drive from our home just north of Seattle, all the way to Steven's pass, and well, it did. We had to intervene a few times. Specifically:

• Passed through a school zone and the car missed a speed limit sign
• Did not slow down fast enough on highway 2 for speed limit reductions in small towns Attempted to drive a little to fast for our comfort on some of those hairpin turns close to the pass. Note, it was our comfort that caused the disengagement, I don't believe the car was being unsafe
• Had to intervene to navigate around an accident and an emergency vehicle partially blocking the lane. The car may have figured it out, but it was slowing too much and seemed too confused.
• Intervened to creep forward closer to a light at an intersection to trigger the sensor to change the light.

The car navigated like a champ through complex intersections, circles. It safely gave space to bikers on the side of the road. Safely slowed down to allow other people to merge into a lane. Stopped appropriately at all stop signs and lights. All the interventions seemed fixable, and honestly most of those interventions seemed caused by exceptions to the operating environment.
The car doesn't drive like a human. It follows the traffic laws too closely and at times, I felt it was annoying other (human) drivers. I wonder if the NHTSA should enforce a some sort of light or way to notify other drivers that 'this car is driving itself' so they know what to expect.
I am considering paying the 100$, it was nice not having to think about where to turn and when.

I'm in Texas. Neighbor backed into my car at a low speed, minimal damage. Their insurance deemed it a total loss and said if i want to keep the vehicle, it would have a "salvage" title until I get it fixed and inspected to become a "rebuilt" title.
I definitely want to keep the car so my question is, once I decide to keep the car and obtain the salvage title, what happens? Who will know I have a salvage title?
I know legally I will be unable to drive it on the road but if I never get pulled over or get into an accident, is there any way for law enforcement to know the car has a salvage title?

I'm in Texas. Neighbor backed into my car at a low speed, minimal damage. Their insurance deemed it a total loss and said if i want to keep the vehicle, it would have a "salvage" title until I get it fixed and inspected to become a "rebuilt" title.
I definitely want to keep the car so my question is, once I decide to keep the car and obtain the salvage title, what happens? Who will know I have a salvage title?
I know legally I will be unable to drive it on the road but if I never get pulled over or get into an accident, is there any way for law enforcement to know the car has a salvage title?

Looking for new car for school. Credit score is 757, but I only work part-time minimum wage as I'm a college student right now.
Found a really nice 2020 Ford Escape for $14990, around 63,500 miles, amazing condition with no reported accidents. Went in yesterday, test drove it, and decided we wanted to go through getting it.
Went to the office, guy was getting our information and then said he'd be back with numbers. He came back with numbers, except the out the door price was 5000 more than it was supposed to be. Of course I understand there's fees that go along with the price, but then he mentioned reconditioning fees for like $3000. He also couldn't tell us where this financing was from, as before he left the room, he told us that he would get a few different options and then give us the best one. He couldn't tell us where this one was from.
We are also still waiting to hear back from my bank, as I tried getting a preapproved loan, but I needed a cosigner (since I'm young and my credit is limited) so my mom helped me out. But I also wanna say when the dealership got the numbers, they ran her credit and not mine. Her credit is actually worse than mine.
I still don't really know how purchasing a car works. The down payment is money that you put towards the overall payment, right? And then whatever you have left to pay, you just pay a monthly fee along with interest.
We walked out on this, but is that normal?? $3000 in reconditioning fees for a 2020 vehicle