Anna nicole smith in bath with baby

Posting from my alt/throwaway account. My (26M) wife (24F) is my best friend, my soulmate, and the best mother of children anyone could ask for. She is also severely germaphobic, and tries to say she isn't. Tonight, things finally turned crazy.
I got home from work and started cooking dinner. As I'm in between doing dinner and trying to neaten up the house, I hear her coming up the stairs with our baby (we live in an apartment complex). I smile and continue working on dinner. As she goes to unlock the door, I can kind of tell something is off by the way she's handling her keys. I walk towards the door to see what's up, and she bursts in, panicked. I try to talk to her but she can't hear a word I say. She asks me to take the baby so she can wash her hands. Confused, I said "No, I'm cooking". She says "Take the baby", and I say "Honey I'm working with raw chicken, my own hands aren't clean". She starts swearing and thrusts the baby to me so she can go wash her hands. I say "Baby, I can't, why can't you-" and I don't get to finish my sentence. My baby is forced into my hands.
I stand there and she washes her hands. She comes out and I'm shocked by her sudden personality change. She's happy, boisterous, and acting like she didn't just not listen to me several times in a row. She takes the baby and asks me "Does she need a bath? Were you handling raw chicken?". I was extremely upset by this, even though I don't think I actually had any chicken contamination on me at that point in time (I had just gotten it out and was about to start cutting it up). I try to talk to her and she laughs and asks what I'm talkikg about. I stop making dinner because I'm so upset and put stuff away. I tell her I'm going to make sandwiches instead, and she laughs harder and says "Why are men like this?"
She's now claiming that any attempted discussion of this needs to be done when I'm calmed down, and she doesn't want to hear anything about my version of events. She claims I'm gaslighting her, but then says "Whenever I say 'take the baby', you're supposed to drop everything and just take the baby", which makes me think she knows she was in the wrong but doesn't want to admit she was so worked up she didn't even hear me.
I feel kind of miserable. This is the only time this has happened and I don't think it'll happen again. Oh, for the curious amongst you readers, she apparently... squished a bug with her bare hands? Mind you, she was more than capable of dropping the baby into her pack and play or into her playroom. This further adds to my own confusion, considering she carried the baby up the stairs and unlocked the door with the same hands she squished the bug. Am I right to be confused and upset by this?

Hi all, I have a 20 week old baby (will be 5 months in 10 days) and I am struggling with our schedule a little bit and was wondering if anyone has any suggestions for what we should do! We are on a 3 nap schedule - wake up 7 am, nap 8:30-10:00, nap 12:00-1:30, nap 3:30-4:00, and bedtime at 6:30 or 7 depending on bath or not. The huckleberry app is actually suggesting naps that would extend wake windows by 10-20 min more BUT for the past week, she has been unable to make it the full 2 hour wake window so goes to bed 15 minutes before naptime, even though she didn't have any issues with this until last week when we went on a 3 day trip for a conference and all schedules were thrown out the window (barely napped, but slept at night during the trip). Since we've been back, we've especially had a very hard time with bedtime routine! She is just sooo upset throughout the whole routine and gets fussy before we even start, I think she is tired but I thought her sleep needs are supposed to reduce as she grows? Should we add the 4th nap back in (we dropped it 3 weeks ago), or just do routine at 5:30 and bedtime at 6pm? For added context, she used to wake up once at 2am, but past 5 days she gets up at 11pm and 3am - maybe this is making her more tired during the day? She is not sleeptrained but we're still surviving enough to not need to do it yet (probably at 5 or 6 months!).

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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A rubber ducky floats in a tub
loving and amusing algae;
it only need be yellow
amidst all of the once-wished,
once-was, and now-grows
-without-obtrusion, life keeps
finding the forgotten,
what lack-thereof left behind
ㅤ
Everywhere there is moss,
vines, and silence beneath
the still-sky, the always-sky, the blue
ㅤ
The ever-green came through the cracks,
the cracks came after the decay, the decay
came with the destruction, the destruction
was never-ending for a time, the
nothingness no longer thirsts,
ㅤ
No-one yearns
ㅤ
Humanity’s supernova
was faster than we could
say “burn bright”
ㅤ
The scientists knew it
was Friday, the politicians knew it
was payday, the news knew nothing,
the other channels played
old movies like any other end
-of-a-week
ㅤ
the goodbyes-in-hindsight
were all so mundane-in-retrospect
many through the ones and zeros,
(which are now-gone,
if they truly ever-existed)
many last moments were more ideal,
ㅤ
A mother repeats to her baby
“not a word to your father” but
catches her glancing down
into the water smiling, tears pooling
in her eyes
ㅤ
A barely legal adult smeared
with vomit hears her mother
softly call her into the bathroom
then-unchanged from
her childhood and stops herself from
repeating to her mother
she is not a baby anymore
ㅤ
A father hears the first
“your father can never find out
about this”, finds out
he is scary and there are secrets
innumerable, he decides on a
loving, at worst amusing,
gesture against his nature;
he waits outside, hiding, watching
where he will stay-forever
to see his daughter
smile for what will-feel-like
the first time
ㅤ
A warm bath is drawn to never-be-taken
ㅤ
A drunk college freshman alone
and quiet, forever just trying to
stay afloat
at a homecoming celebration
is the only one to catch
bits and pieces of
The Rules of Attraction
on a cheap TV
thinking of everything that has
already happened in the first semester
of the rest-of-her-life
she will-definitely-never tell her parents
ㅤ
after the characters leave
The End of the World Party
as the credits roll backwards she, herself,
stumbles through the snow,
amidst the darkness and stars, forgetting
“home” should mean
a dorm now, knowing her mommy
will draw her a bath,
wishing her dad would
toss in a yellow
rubber duck,
just like when she was
ㅤ ——
ㅤ @infpeachtea on all platforms
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31(f) sorry if this is long winded, I’m just like wtf. I was feeling off last week and had a weird pain in my urethra but I just brushed it off cause I have a history of kidney stones and it felt like maybe I had just passed one. A day later I notice a very sensitive sore on my labia minors so I went to the urgent care (couldn’t get into my normal dr for TWO MONTHS 💀) and the dr took a look at it and told me he had no idea what it was but took a swab of it to test for a multitude of things. I was feeling absolutely awful yesterday. fever of 102.4, chills, body aches, etc so I just knew that I had herpes, I had a hunch from the beginning but all the symptoms were there. Got a call yesterday afternoon to confirm that I do indeed had HSV2 and on top of it BV 🫠 They gave me an antibiotic for the BV but said nothing about the herpes. This is by far one of the most painful and uncomfortable things I have ever gone through. I’m only on day 6 (I believe) and it just keeps getting worse. The internet says it can be brought on by stress, among other things. I just had my second child almost 5 months ago and having a baby is obviously stressful and I also have an almost 11 year old boy (wow, did I mention having kids is stressful?) I have been with my husband for 2 years now and my partner before that for over 5 years. Could I have had it for literal years and not known about it? I am probably one of the most stressed out humans (thank you anxiety) and have had shingles twice… the last time just back in September while I was pregnant. So is this outbreak because I’m stressed? Hormonal drop after having a baby? My husband has never experienced any symptoms of hsv and before we got together he got sti screened for everything besides herpes cause I guess it’s not one they test for unless there is symptoms? He has not cheated nor have I. So why now all of the sudden am I having my first outbreak. And wow wtf is it THIS TERRIBLE. I literally want to cry every single time I pee. And I can only take so many baths a day to ease the pain.
Okay now the reason for this post 1. Have any other women experienced this? 2. Should I be worried about breastfeeding? 3. How long will it hurt and when will the blisters stop forming? 4. Should I call my OB and make a follow up appointment? The urgent care literally didn’t do anything for me except tell me I have it 5. Should I expect to feel this shitty anytime I have an outbreak 6. Please give me any and all tips and tricks to managing this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
I’m obviously pretty upset that that is happening, but with my husband being so sweet and supporting I know I’ll come out of this okay. I just wish it didn’t feel like my entire world is messed up right now.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Chapter 3
*fictional * ( 😉)
Generational trauma
Unfortunately, a lot of people know exactly what it’s like to fall victim to the curse of generational trauma - whether it be physical- mental -emotional- or sexual. There are many ways People respond to trauma, more specifically, childhood trauma. Childhood trauma hits differently because it’s embedded and who you are.
For example GG (my maternal grandmother) had 3 bio children living with her and my grandfather- the oldest not being biologically his and the younger two being biologically his children. My mums older brother … M…. Started to sexually abuse her from the time she was 7 until he moved out of the house. There was a significant age gap of about 8 years. I’m unsure if he was the start of the cycle or if he started out as a victim. It’s also important to note that this side of the family can only bond over one particular thing… and that is having a common enemy. It’s a never-ending cycle of who is the whole family mad at? Who is who side. And how many can be recruited to their side.
A lot of toxic families also tend to share a similar dynamic- and unfortunately, a lot of people will likely relate to this as well. You usually have a golden child - the child that absolutely does no wrong. The forgotten child(ren) the kids that weren’t necessarily good or bad, but generally were overall ignored. And the scapegoat- everything is this kids fault. The scapegoat is the root of all of the families issues- and they know it, because they’ve been conditioned to know that everything is always their fault
M was the golden child. K (the second born) was the forgotten- and mum was the scapegoat. When mum Came forward with the sexual abuse allegations. It was pretty easy for M to convince everyone that she was just a liar who is making it up for attention. M
And how did she respond. She’s definitely someone you begin this story wanting to root for, and I always kind of will, root for her. But, the combination of the psychological trauma of the sexual abuse, and the way that GG turned on her completely, called her a liar, tried to convince anyone who would listen she was making it up. she responded becoming overly promiscuous. She was always very content with how things were and never really strive to have better than what she already had. She did not take care of herself- or her home. She went into an abusive marriage with S. They had two sons. At one point, Mum lost custody of the boys- and they were taken in by GG and her husband- during this time, mum went out and got pregnant with me- deciding to work it out with S even though he wasn’t the father.
Our life wasn’t easy. We lived in filth. We were poor. We had no real stability. S and mum stayed together until I was 7- Life up until seven was also not easy- we moved from one state to the desert- I was around 4. S had serious anger issues. CPS was regularly involved. Not only for the bruises on us- but because we went to school clearly dirty. The worst beating I ever got was over a spoon. I remember playin in the bath tub- when S found a spoon in my room. He came into the bathroom and demanded that I get out. He then called over R and brother (both of my older brothers) and made them watch as he repeatedly hit me with a belt - which was made 10 times worse due to the fact that I was still soaking wet. I was naked. Soaking wet - being humiliated to stand in front of my two older brothers that way, and being beaten over a spoon. And if that isn’t scary enough- I was actually the one he went the easiest on. R and brother suffered black eyes and teeth being knocked out. Mum vowed to the CPS worker that this would be the last time and she threatened us if he ever did this again that she would leave. He didn’t do it again.
And to this day anytime I have peanut better off a spoon- I think of that day.
That wasn’t enough for her to leave, which to this day I find incredibly strange. When I was 7S went out of town and when he came back, he had a new penpal, a woman that he met on a greyhound bus that God whispered in his ear and told him that she was the one he was supposed to be with (his words). So that was what broke them up. Not the beatings.- not the toxic behavior- the cheating ON HER.
S went his way mum went hers. Mum was sleeping around and ended up pregnant again - with summer- she met step dad and got married very quickly after meeting - s married his affair partner. The summer before a fair partner moved to the desert to be with S - we would stay in a small town that got really cold at night- we would all sleep out in the living room because there was a furnace to keep us warm- during this S would always make sure to sleep next to me- and he would do and say things to me that I won’t put here.
I started bringing a friend with me so he would leave me alone - it worked. ( he didn’t do anything to friend it just blocked his opportunity to get to me)
The end of the story for s comes a few years later. He picked us up after not seeing us for about 6 months - took us on a ride and told his “I am choosing to be happy with my wife over you guys, I have to chose and I’m choosing my own sanity/ life” and then he dropped us back off at home. The next time I saw him was after I turned 18.
In the meantime - our family dynamic has drastically changed
Mum is married. Summer is the baby. Brother is the golden child. I was forgotten and r was the problem… until… R gets hit by a car. He had injury so bad he was once compared to Christopher Reeves- he wasn’t meant to live, but an experimental surgery actually helped him survive and gain most of his function back (although he did never get the function to his left arm- and eventually had it amputated). When he got into this accident, he became the sick one… and I became the problem.
A lot of the household responsibilities fell on brother and me. Mum and step dad were working - and more than what was fair or right we were left pretty much to our own devices most of the time. Nick stayed golden- and I learned to say exactly how I felt and became very outspoken- so an even bigger problem of a problem child. We moved constantly. We never had nice things. I can remember at around age 11 or 12 I started to become increasingly embarrassed about the way that I would smell when I would go to school- when I lived in filth, I truly mean that- dogs/ dog mess. Cockroaches. The bottoms of our feet were always black from the floor- multiple different family members tried to get us taken away just for the cleanliness of our house- which never worked. at this time I developed OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder) - but unfortunately, it was never diagnosed until I was much older because taking me to a primary doctor and getting the properly medicated was too much work- I was just acting that way because again I’m always the problem. My adult eyes and heart scream for that version of me. I needed consistency and stability and an organized clean environment.- and I was living in the exact opposite and constantly made it to be villainized over my reaction to it. when I would vocalize what was wrong I’d be told “you just think your better than everyone “ I’ll touch more on the mother-daughter dynamic later, but I got out of that house as soon as I could, and lived with whoever would take me in from around the age of 13- and if I had to go back, it was never for long.
Brother - Brother grew up to care a little more. He wanted a nice house that was somewhat clean.- and wanted something more stable for himself as well. He was always a worker- so he got his GED and entered the workforce- he has a decent career- but is chronically Switzerland, he always tries to stay in everyone’s good graces- maybe he’s an undercover people pleaser? Being liked is more important than standing for something ?
Summer - I wish you well always. And like I’ve told you for so long until you get yourself out of this this is going to be a never-ending cycle - and I always wish nothing but the best- but summer was also sexually abused within the family- and unlike me who found it pretty easy to blame the perpetrator and not let it keep me down- summer pretty much with the opposite way. She struggles with drug addiction. As I’m writing, she does not have custody of her son due to a relapse she had over Christmas.- her life very much mirrors mums life. She is making all of the same mistakes and my mum cannot hold her accountable because that would also mean having to hold herself accountable which she is unwilling to do. So now Summer has fallen into a cycle of never being able to accept accountability for anything. And you don’t know much about drug addiction or alcohol addiction one of the biggest parts of recovery is accountability.
R- out of respect for him, who has always been very low contact with us. I’m not going to speak on his life.
I’m going to pause here today.
Chapter 4 will be about this past year and the dynamic shift between myself and everyone listed. I know a lot of this information probably feels very random but I promise you once this is all out. Everything will make sense. It’ll also be heavily focused on my relationship with mum, even though I had plenty of reasons to do so, I really never felt felt like I had “daddy issues”. After what happened to me the thought of a bigger actually kind of grossed me out… it was never really something that I longed for- but anyone who has mommy issues probably having an issue with your mom as far worse.

baby is 10 and a half months, 9 months adjusted tomorrow as she was 7 weeks premature. last night 13/05/24 , bed time 18:30 asleep about 20:51. morning 14/06/24 wakeup around 6:50, first naptime 09:02 asleep for nap around 09:15, woke at 10:28. next nap at 13:48ish, nurse and she falls asleep, attempt to put her down she wakes up so pat her back, isn’t working so i panic and bounce her at about 14:29 for a few mins, falls back asleep, put her down, wakes up, pat her back and it isn’t working and i’m starting to get annoyed and upset at this point and scared her night sleep is going to be messed up, bounce her again and she falls asleep for good and is put down at 14:52, when i wanted her to wake from her nap at 15:00 - 15:30. she woke up at 16:10. started getting ready for bed at bath, started getting ready for bed at 18:30, nursed and i also fell asleep and woke up to her crying at about 19:50, she was then screaming and i put her on my chest and patted her back, she cried then went quiet n closed her eyes but then cried again so i put her in the crib and patted her and she fell asleep and i left the room at 20:05, had only one wakeup around 22:00.
day 2
next morning wakeup at 6:30. went up for first nap around 09:12, fell asleep around 09:23 and down at 09:33. woke at 09:48 so decided to put her back to sleep with light rocking and she was straight back asleep. held her for the rest of her nap bc i was tired n wanted to lay down lol and didn’t want to put her down and wake her up. woke up at 10:50. went for second nap at 13:40ish and it wad the same as yesterdays second nap, resorted to bouncing and she finally went to sleep about 14:54, somehow heard me leave and woke up, finally down at 15:04. bed time at 6:30 as per, didn’t sleep and go down till about 19:58 took nursing, then back patting nursing back patting nursing the usual. first wake up at 20:43, she wasn’t crying but i instinctively went up and by the time i thought “maybe i should wait till shes upset and see what she does” i wad already in the room. now sat nursing her to sleep and posting this.
her daytime naps are in my bed, at bedtime she goes in her crib but eventually at some point in the night will end up in mine. her falling asleep independently is the ideal and dream but honestly feels like it is impossible. i wouldn’t mind nursing to sleep or patting her back. i also want her to have all of her sleep in her crib but this also feels impossible and i’m honestly scared to put her in her crib in the day. i just don’t know what to do or how to get her to sleep better and on her own.

baby is 10 and a half months, 9 months adjusted tomorrow as she was 7 weeks premature. last night 13/05/24 , bed time 18:30 asleep about 20:51. morning 14/06/24 wakeup around 6:50, first naptime 09:02 asleep for nap around 09:15, woke at 10:28. next nap at 13:48ish, nurse and she falls asleep, attempt to put her down she wakes up so pat her back, isn’t working so i panic and bounce her at about 14:29 for a few mins, falls back asleep, put her down, wakes up, pat her back and it isn’t working and i’m starting to get annoyed and upset at this point and scared her night sleep is going to be messed up, bounce her again and she falls asleep for good and is put down at 14:52, when i wanted her to wake from her nap at 15:00 - 15:30. she woke up at 16:10. started getting ready for bed at bath, started getting ready for bed at 18:30, nursed and i also fell asleep and woke up to her crying at about 19:50, she was then screaming and i put her on my chest and patted her back, she cried then went quiet n closed her eyes but then cried again so i put her in the crib and patted her and she fell asleep and i left the room at 20:05, had only one wakeup around 22:00.
day 2
next morning wakeup at 6:30. went up for first nap around 09:12, fell asleep around 09:23 and down at 09:33. woke at 09:48 so decided to put her back to sleep with light rocking and she was straight back asleep. held her for the rest of her nap bc i was tired n wanted to lay down lol and didn’t want to put her down and wake her up. woke up at 10:50. went for second nap at 13:40ish and it wad the same as yesterdays second nap, resorted to bouncing and she finally went to sleep about 14:54, somehow heard me leave and woke up, finally down at 15:04. bed time at 6:30 as per, didn’t sleep and go down till about 19:58 took nursing, then back patting nursing back patting nursing the usual. first wake up at 20:43, she wasn’t crying but i instinctively went up and by the time i thought “maybe i should wait till shes upset and see what she does” i wad already in the room. now sat nursing her to sleep and posting this.
her daytime naps are in my bed, at bedtime she goes in her crib but eventually at some point in the night will end up in mine. her falling asleep independently is the ideal and dream but honestly feels like it is impossible. i wouldn’t mind nursing to sleep or patting her back. i also want her to have all of her sleep in her crib but this also feels impossible and i’m honestly scared to put her in her crib in the day. i just don’t know what to do or how to get her to sleep better and on her own.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Tl;dr seeing a really upsetting side of my husband now that baby is born - seems to be critical and judging towards me and acting like he is entitled to a spotless house and ordering me to treat our son well (when doing so already comes naturally to me!) as though I am his au pair and not his wife.
Longer version:
And he never comforted me. Never said he was worried or concerned or didn’t want to lose me. Just that he was worried that he would have a less healthy wife. I’ve made a good recovery so far and our baby is now a month old.
But every once in a while I think about my husband saying that. He also said that me having a baby would mean he has loads of free time to do as he pleases bc I will be so busy. That made me upset - in reality he is getting fairly involved with bath time etc. But my husband also complains that the house is messy and asks what I did all day - and he doesn’t seem to understand that breastfeeding and nappy changing literally is constant and it takes ages to empty the dishwasher with a crying baby. My husband also told me, “He (our son) comes first. Do you understand that? He comes first.” As if I needed to be told to take good care of my precious baby. I am up with him all night breastfeeding and giving my all. I need to be told to take a break sometimes. It’s already natural to put my baby first. It made me feel like I’m a nanny or au pair in my own home.
Since my mom came to help a few days ago I’ve had a chance to reflect a bit and I’m really upset about my husband’s perspective. Have other people been through this? Have they seen their partner mature? Am I making a big deal out of nothing and just being an overly sensitive new mom?

Here is a brief article on English law and "true story" legal disclaimers (such as the one at the end of every Baby Reindeer episode).

One point I found interesting that may be relevant to the Fiona situation is that in English law, nobody holds any sort of rights to their own life stories, and generally nothing prevents a tv show from doing what they want with it. Now, this article is mainly talking about the use of people's real names. Changing names likely grants a bit more protection as well.

Another thing to note before you read - The lawsuit against Netflix mentioned in this article has since been settled with an agreement reached by both parties - The show in question used everyone's real names.
Based on a true story. Deny it all you want, but when those five words pop up on the big screen, you can’t help but lean forward in your seat. Is there any weight behind the phrase, or is it just a marketing ploy used by producers?
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the legal aspect of the whole ‘true story’ idea is a bit of a grey area. In one of the most high-profile legal fallouts of recent months, streaming giant Netflix is facing a defamation lawsuit over its portrayal of former Vanity Fair staffer Rachel DeLoache Williams in its nine-part drama series Inventing Anna. The series portrays Williams in a less than flattering light, prompting (the real) Williams to face a wave of online abuse following the series’ release. In fact, the lawsuit filed on August 29, alleges that the streaming service falsely depicted her as ‘greedy’, ‘snobbish’, ‘cowardly’, and ‘dishonest’, among other choice words.
Each episode in the series kicks off with the same line: “This whole story is completely true. Except for the parts that are completely made up.”
Regardless of the disclaimer, Williams’ attorney has argued that there are serious questions raised by a system where creatives are free to use real people’s names for unpleasant or controversial characters in film and TV. Especially when the depictions are inaccurate. So, what’s the point of having a disclaimer?
Of course, the use of disclaimers isn’t watertight, and they don’t always hold up in court.
On the flip side, Christopher Gabbitas of Keystone Law speaks on the misconception that an individual can hold the rights to their life story: “There is still this idea we have some form of ownership and so are the people who can grant rights. But there is no legal basis for that in English law; no trademark, copyright or intellectual property protection. And in most territories nothing prevents the producer of a drama doing what they want.” He further highlights two clashing clauses within the Human Rights Act of 1998, which Britain is currently tied to: Article 8 protects an individual's right to a private life and correspondence; Article 10 underlines the right to freedom of expression.
This is where English and American law come to a head. While creative freedom is backed by common law and precedent in the UK, any mention of a character by name can be claimed as an invasion of privacy in the US. Authors of books and memoirs are often advised to change characters’ names and not reveal any identifying features, so why is Netflix able to cast spitting images of real people and name them?
This is not the first time Netflix has found itself in hot water over claims of defamation. Its hit miniseries The Queen’s Gambit was under fire from former Soviet chess grandmaster Nona Gaprindashvili who alleged the streaming giant’s portrayal implied her character was not familiar with competing against male counterparts. Former Manhattan prosecutor Linda Fairstein also had qualms over her portrayal in Netflix’s When They See Us, a crime drama series based on the ‘Central Park Five’.

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$

I bought a flight ticket from Japan Airlines' website. There is- "Last Name", "First Name" and "Middle Name". On my passport i have lets say, "family name"-"Smith" and "given nameS"- Anna Sophie. No middle name mentioned at all. Its correct if i write on the website Smith as family name and Anna Sophie as given name?? What is even middle name??? Also the fact that it just says "given name" as in singular not plural stresses me out... but my passport clearly states that my first names are Anna Sophie... Im sorry im just very worried about this, i dont know whom im supposed to ask and getting in contact with the airline is difficult.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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So i asked about this here when i was buying the ticket, but i became paranoid again (after i already bought it lol) and i want to clarify again:
Im buying a ticket from Japan Airlines' website. There is- "Last Name", "First Name" and "Middle Name". On my passport i have lets say, "family name"-"Smith" and "given nameS"- Anna Sophie. No middle name mentioned at all. Its correct if i write on the website Smith as family name and Anna Sophie as given name, right?? What is even middle name??? Also the fact that it just says "given name" as in singular not plural stresses me out... Im sorry im just very worried about this all over again for some reason, thanks for bearing with me.

LO is 8mths old and was fine taking a one-two bottles a day when he was 1mth old. Sudden bottle refusal at 1.5 mth and since then I have been exclusively breastfeeding him. Now, I feel like I want to take a break from breast feeding for my mental health because I spent all of my day with the baby doing all his chores, bathing him, playing with him, feeding him, putting him to sleep and taking care of the house. I would also like to get back to working a few hours a day which I have not been able to do since I got pregnant as I had a very difficult pregnancy. I would just like to, maybe offer him a bottle once or twice a day again so that the other family members can pitch in who are very much willing to do so. I have been trying so many different techniques to offer him bottles and have a cupboard full of at least 15 different brands of bottles, but nothing works. Straw cup doesn’t work, open cup doesn’t work, spoon doesn’t work. He only wants boobs. He’s also getting teeth and was already biting me with just gums, which was extremely painful. Now nursing him with teeth is extremely stressful as I am scared to get bitten again and again. I would like to reduce my nursing sessions, ideally, and start offering him bottle, and if need be, I am also ready to wean. Any suggestions would be extremely helpful.

Me M29 and her F29 were together for 13yrs has seem to have lost herself in our relationship. We've had some issues along the way but we have mostly had lovely times together. I'm going to be honest and start from the beginning.
We was teenagers when we got together and close pretty quickly. We moved in together at 18yrs and been together ever since. I had some suspicions she cheated on me when we was 18yrs and i finally found out 4 years later and it was evidence she couldn't deny this time and she admitted it.
It seriously damaged me as I had kind of knew she had done and was lying to me making me out to be going crazy for them years I ended up on depression medication, I couldn't sleep as was having the worst of nightmares nearly every night. I lost certain friends and family because they thought I was going crazy and coming across as controlling when in fact I was just worrying and it turned out I was right to have been.
I never controlled her she lived as freely as she wanted to, I never harassed her but would often question things or where she was. Once I found out I had begged her to leave me and get out of my home. She refused to leave she had no where to go and was begging me to not break up.
Some days passed and I didn't forgive her but I gave it another chance not realizing the damage it had caused me and how it would affect my life in the future. I am the more of the initiator in the relationship she is very laid back and takes the back seat in romance, choices and decisions. At this time I gave her another chance out of pure love which some may say I'm stupid but I seriously love this girl with all my heart, life seems unbearable without her.
Once I have her another chance I started to realize the damage it caused me when I couldn't socialize properly, lost my job and struggled to gain the confidence to find another. I avoided family gatherings funerals, outings, and I soon found myself in a hole because I couldn't trust her enough to go out on my own without her but loved her to much to get her removed from my home. She went out to her family gatherings and I never once stopped her doing anything on her own. I had her family and my family and our friends blame me for this as none of them knew anything and thought I was uncaring towards them, controlling and all the rest of it. As I chose to protect her image over mine by hiding the truth of what happened to me.
So over the coming years things got worse for me. I went to the doctors and got put on 3 different types of medication over the years as well as counseling. As I thought I was going crazy but deep down I knew she was lying. The 4 years of lying to my face and watching me deteriorate as a person from her lies, losing our family members and friends respect my sleepless nights and bad dreams, looking me dead in the eye and swearing on anything she could that she was telling the truth damaged me more than the cheating did itself.
I felt like I weren't a good enough man for her or for anyone. Why would she cheat on me I asked myself a lot. She never admitted why to me just said she don't know why. I tried killing myself I didn't want to live I couldn't sleep I lost loads of weight self respect my career and my ambitions everything.
She didn't even try to show she was sorry or try to take control and make me feel special in any way. Even after what she did she never changed a thing. My problems and pain intensifies over the years and I started to lose self respect and my limits and some arguments became toxic to the point we was shouting at each other calling names etc. And because of this I became a very depressed man. And to deal with this over the years I smoked a lot of cannabis and hideaway at home.
During our whole relationship even through the pain and lies I was romantic, affectionate and caring and very thoughtful. Treat her like a princess everyday, gave her the best to everything I ever could from the small things to the big things made sure she came before me.
After a few years of battling my demons and pain and depression things slowly started to get better and I was able to sleep, eat and socialize again not perfect but was getting a lot better. And out of nowhere she became pregnant with our first child. Very unexpected as we used contraception but It changed our lives and we both quit smoking cold turkied on the spot turned out lives around. And I got another job and leanrt to fully trust my partner again and felt like I had meaning to live again once more and things became near enough perfect the day we found out.
Life felt great everything felt normal I stopped worrying completely. Quit smoking and was sleeping and generally felt a lot better in myself and felt like finally forgave her. We ended up with another child and then another one and we ended up with 3 Children. Which our youngest is now a toddler And believe it or not all three of our children were conceived on 3 different types of contraception.
Over a year ago I started running my own business, learned to drive while she was a stay at home mum. I'd leave for work at 06:45 in the morning I came home from work every day at 14:00. The minute I got in I'd take care of the kids, playing with them, collect from school, cooking, cleaning, bathing, nappy changing, absolutely everything 50/50 until they go to bed then I'd help tidy up and wouldn't sit down to myself until around 21:00
I always said to her I wouldn't be able to provide for you all if you didn't spend all day looking after our children while I worked. We shared the money not one thing wasn't both of ours.
A lot of things weren't getting done around the home while I was out working and It didn't bother me most of the time and I don't expect nothing to be done for me and also don't ask for anything to be done for me. But sometimes I'd mention things. She would react badly to this and I'd soon feel bad for saying anything. For example one of our children was sick on the bedroom floor And it hadn't been cleaned up in 2 days. Rooms wouldn't get cleaned for weeks on end until I cleaned them. Clothes built up to a mountain on our bedroom floor until I had enough and done them myself while she would be sat there watching TV in the evening.
We started to argue because of these issues and iv felt like I'm too scared to mention absolutely anything that bothers me or she would just turn and push me to the point I swore or called her a name and that is what it would all then be about and then my original issue wouldnt get spoke about after that point.
And then out of the blue she recently broke up with me at 6 in the morning, claiming we argue too much and she has had enough. Which I think we hardly argued few times a year maybe. And it was never in front of the kids and was only verbal and nasty stuff would get said.
So I spent over a week trying to get her to not break up with me until she said things will be okay let's move home and start a fresh, so I sold my business and prepared to move our family for a fresh start.
Over the next week she has since gone back on her word and gone back and forth saying she never getting back with me to we will sort things. It's been a month now she sleeps downstairs hasn't kissed me since the break up. Iv been in a right state because of this iv felt my heart has been turned inside out multiple times one minute I think it's okay to the next my heart's in my stomach thinking my life's ended.
I'm unsure what to do about it as this family is absolutely everything to me and my boys future really matters to me as I broke up in a split family and hated it. Should I leave her with the children or should I try kick her out or do I do what I want to do and is to keep begging her to sort this out. I'm slowly deteriorating and going mentally numb. I'm losing myself and I don't feel like I'm connected to life anymore and worried I'm going to
Was I wrong for staying with her? Was I right for putting it all behind me for our babies sake when she was pregnant? Was I wrong for mentioning the issues I had with the home? Was I right for selling my business. Am I wrong for wanting to stay and beg for this family to work out of love? I just don't know anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Has anyone watched this episode with Stephanie?
“She experienced a lot as a child, but her parent’s divorce was the one event that really affected her life. (Dad left, mom found out her new bf is an abusive drunk and needs to leave) As the mom was alone, she made a call to Stephanie’s father for assistance. He told her to contact him while she was in California since he was a supportive guy. Tragically, he passed away in an accident just a day or two after the pair arrived in California. Stephanie and her mother lost everything, including their house, and had no one to turn to for financial or emotional help. Due to their living conditions, Stephanie was living out of foster care. She was in foster care for about four years. This was when her unhealthy obsession with food started.
(Fast forward to her not following any plans nor losing weight and she stops going to weigh ins)
Stephanie had blocked Dr. Now and stopped answering his calls before the end of the episode. She wouldn’t show up for their arranged meetings. Stephanie said at the end of the episode that she was leaving the program and claimed that Dr. Now had given up on her.”
This episode reminded me so much of ALR with the CONSTANT excuses! And then…you meet mom. Mom and step dad are her worst enablers. I couldn’t believe it! Mom is babying her!
It’s like an alternate reality ALR 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
https://thecinemaholic.com/stephanie-smith-my-600-lb-life-update-where-is-she-now/