Can i give delsym with kids nyquil
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2024.05.14 21:59 griffgilscarbo SIL vs BIL problems?
How come the Gorgas, Joe especially, can have his beefs with both of Teresa’s husbands and people validate his feelings but Teresa isn’t allowed to get mad at Melissa? When Joe fights with Juicy and Luis, they use all of Juicy and Luis’s separate past behavior as a validation for it even if they’re not related to the family issues, but we’ve seen Melissa constantly go after Teresa yet somehow “TeReSa Is JuSt JeAlOuS” I understand how some people still fall for Melissa’s being the poor hated daughtesister in law trope, but she’s very sketchy too and the reasons to not like her and question her motives for not just joining the show but to even marry Joe in the first place are very valid. At this point it’s been over a decade where we’ve seen Melissa come for Teresa and people are still confused as to why Teresa doesn’t like her. If you saw your sibling be with someone who is very fake and sketchy, wouldn’t you voice it to them? Just like the Gorgas voice their concerns with Juicy and Luis, but they’re not being accused of trying to break up anyone’s marriage like they accuse Teresa for doing. As much Teresa can’t stand Melissa, I highly doubt she’d want to see her brother get divorced from someone he has kids with. Luis may have his past, but he’s never really done anything wrong to the Gorgas first and he’s tried to mend fences. I see it all the time when family members try to speak up against boyfriends/husbands they are applauded, but if they speak up against wives/girlfriends, they’re bitter and hated. It’s happened in my own family.
My issue with Teresa is that because she was raised in such a male favored home, she saw through Melissa’s bullshit, but never saw through her own brother’s bullshit until now and she just didn’t hold her brother’s wrongs against him the way she should’ve until she’s had enough. She’s obviously a pick me and she’s slowly trying to unlearn her misogynistic bias she was raised with but at 50, the damage is done and she’s let the damage be done.
submitted by griffgilscarbo to rhonj [link] [comments]
My issue with Teresa is that because she was raised in such a male favored home, she saw through Melissa’s bullshit, but never saw through her own brother’s bullshit until now and she just didn’t hold her brother’s wrongs against him the way she should’ve until she’s had enough. She’s obviously a pick me and she’s slowly trying to unlearn her misogynistic bias she was raised with but at 50, the damage is done and she’s let the damage be done.
2024.05.14 21:59 tinkerellabella My (29F) husband (40M) wants to sell our family home. What do I do?
Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.
submitted by tinkerellabella to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.
2024.05.14 21:58 ZeroInZenThoughts Just got Dumped, but likely for the best.
I had been seeing a woman for about 5 months or so and we were kind of official I guess. I wasn't announcing it tonfri mds and family broadly, but I wasn't really keeping it a secret either.
The reasons don't really matter. I just hurt right now. She is a good person and I hope the best for her and honestly she is probably a little broken herself from past relationships so this is probably for the best. However, that sting of loss just really opens some old wounds. I knew this was a risk. I think I'll take some time to focus on me and my kids before decision ng to venture back out.
I've been missing my wife throughout the dating, but it had seemed ok, but losing this woman just made the flood gates turn on and while yes sad about her, I find myself longing for my wife even more than before. Maybe I was trying to fill that hole and I'm just not ready yet. I felt I was getting somewhere with my grief journey, but maybe I was just pretending? Man, what a week. I'm just glad she didn't string me along longer as I know it has to be tough from that side to as you try to navigate my emotions and not trying to completely wreck me emotionally. I hope she can find what she is looking for.
Thanks for reading.
submitted by ZeroInZenThoughts to widowers [link] [comments]
The reasons don't really matter. I just hurt right now. She is a good person and I hope the best for her and honestly she is probably a little broken herself from past relationships so this is probably for the best. However, that sting of loss just really opens some old wounds. I knew this was a risk. I think I'll take some time to focus on me and my kids before decision ng to venture back out.
I've been missing my wife throughout the dating, but it had seemed ok, but losing this woman just made the flood gates turn on and while yes sad about her, I find myself longing for my wife even more than before. Maybe I was trying to fill that hole and I'm just not ready yet. I felt I was getting somewhere with my grief journey, but maybe I was just pretending? Man, what a week. I'm just glad she didn't string me along longer as I know it has to be tough from that side to as you try to navigate my emotions and not trying to completely wreck me emotionally. I hope she can find what she is looking for.
Thanks for reading.
2024.05.14 21:58 otter109111 Breathing after DriTri
The weeks and months before the dritri I felt the best I’ve ever felt. I was a transformation challenge winner and felt like I was in the best shape of my life (38F). The week before the dritri I had a mild cold but felt almost all better by the day of the dritri. It was my first one and man it was hard but I did it (I’ve been a member for one year and generally go 3-5 times a week). I’m pretty sure I was dehydrated the couple days after but I rehydrated with water and electrolyte drinks and got all sorted out. But ever since the dritri my breathing feels different. It’s harder to take deep breaths sometimes. I can’t work as hard during regular OTF workouts like I used to. I did give myself plenty of rest time after the dritri. And I’ve seen some doctors and had a lot of testing done on my heart and a chest X-ray and so far no issues found.
So I’m just curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar. It maybe feels related to overexertion from the dritri since I noticed it in the days right after and felt fine before the dritri.
submitted by otter109111 to orangetheory [link] [comments]
So I’m just curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar. It maybe feels related to overexertion from the dritri since I noticed it in the days right after and felt fine before the dritri.
2024.05.14 21:58 drowninginstress36 Question regarding eviction in NJ
Trying to get a straight forward answer on this because it's been a hot topic in my complex.
The apartment complex I live in is in NJ. The owning company is in PA. From what I know of NJ evictions, there has to be a 30 day Notice to Quit before legal action can be taken (filing for eviction with the courts).
The problem is the complex I live in has been doing 10 day notices, given out the day after the late payment day. Meaning, you have until the 10th to pay without incurring a alte fee and they are giving them out on the 11th for that month, even if you only owe for that month.
Onto the questions - in accordance with NJ eviction laws, is this legal procedure? Evictions are filed in the NJ court system, not PA.
What is the notice to quit timeframe for NJ for non-payment (I know illegal activity is different)?
And, what exactly is the correct procedure? From what I've seen online, you need a Notice to Cease, then the 30 day Notice to Quit (for non-payment) and if you haven't paid or left after those 30 days, eviction is filed with the courts.
If what the company is doing isn't in accordance with NJ law, what can be done to fix this or bring attention to it?
Thank you for all your help.
submitted by drowninginstress36 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
The apartment complex I live in is in NJ. The owning company is in PA. From what I know of NJ evictions, there has to be a 30 day Notice to Quit before legal action can be taken (filing for eviction with the courts).
The problem is the complex I live in has been doing 10 day notices, given out the day after the late payment day. Meaning, you have until the 10th to pay without incurring a alte fee and they are giving them out on the 11th for that month, even if you only owe for that month.
Onto the questions - in accordance with NJ eviction laws, is this legal procedure? Evictions are filed in the NJ court system, not PA.
What is the notice to quit timeframe for NJ for non-payment (I know illegal activity is different)?
And, what exactly is the correct procedure? From what I've seen online, you need a Notice to Cease, then the 30 day Notice to Quit (for non-payment) and if you haven't paid or left after those 30 days, eviction is filed with the courts.
If what the company is doing isn't in accordance with NJ law, what can be done to fix this or bring attention to it?
Thank you for all your help.
2024.05.14 21:57 Aggravating-Shame-62 Lightheadedness from low vitamin D?
Hi everyone, I’m coming here as a way to ease my mind until I can get to my doctor’s appointment next month. Just want to know if anyone else has had a similar experience with these symptoms.
For the past 3 months, I have been dealing with lightheadedness that seems to come out of nowhere. I will get hot, sweaty, nauseous, and feel as if I’m going to hit the floor. I have never actually fainted, but this feeling is so terrifying. It leaves me feeling absolutely exhausted and weak. When these symptoms first appeared, I had my husband take me to the ER because I was petrified, as this is something I have never experienced before. They ran blood tests and took a urine sample, but everything came back okay. They gave me an IV and nausea meds and sent me home. A little over a month later, these spells got bad again, so we went to an our local urgent care. After waiting for a few hours, the NP said it sounded like anxiety, but did not run any tests or give any recommendations other than to find ways to cope. I was not able to schedule an appointment with my PCP to follow up because my husband and I were making a cross-country move in just a few days.
Everyone seems to think it’s anxiety, as I have been under lots of stress lately, but I just don’t think that’s all it is. Not denying that’s what it could be, but as someone who has dealt with anxiety my whole life, it has never affected me this way.
In the past I have dealt with very low vitamin D. I was on a prescription (not sure the dosage) to raise my levels, and when summer rolled around, I felt much better! I know that low vitamin D can cause anxiety to be worse, but I just want to know if anyone else has had similar symptoms. I have a dr’s appointment scheduled for next month (that was the earliest they could get me in) so I’m looking for peace of mind until I can get solid answers! Any advice or suggestions are so appreciated!
submitted by Aggravating-Shame-62 to VitaminD [link] [comments]
For the past 3 months, I have been dealing with lightheadedness that seems to come out of nowhere. I will get hot, sweaty, nauseous, and feel as if I’m going to hit the floor. I have never actually fainted, but this feeling is so terrifying. It leaves me feeling absolutely exhausted and weak. When these symptoms first appeared, I had my husband take me to the ER because I was petrified, as this is something I have never experienced before. They ran blood tests and took a urine sample, but everything came back okay. They gave me an IV and nausea meds and sent me home. A little over a month later, these spells got bad again, so we went to an our local urgent care. After waiting for a few hours, the NP said it sounded like anxiety, but did not run any tests or give any recommendations other than to find ways to cope. I was not able to schedule an appointment with my PCP to follow up because my husband and I were making a cross-country move in just a few days.
Everyone seems to think it’s anxiety, as I have been under lots of stress lately, but I just don’t think that’s all it is. Not denying that’s what it could be, but as someone who has dealt with anxiety my whole life, it has never affected me this way.
In the past I have dealt with very low vitamin D. I was on a prescription (not sure the dosage) to raise my levels, and when summer rolled around, I felt much better! I know that low vitamin D can cause anxiety to be worse, but I just want to know if anyone else has had similar symptoms. I have a dr’s appointment scheduled for next month (that was the earliest they could get me in) so I’m looking for peace of mind until I can get solid answers! Any advice or suggestions are so appreciated!
2024.05.14 21:57 INFPsunflower We have our first joint mediation session and I’m not sure what to say I want/what I’m entitled to in financial settlement. He earns 55k per year and I’m on 27k and have my son to re-house .
He wants to buy me out but I’m not sure if I can get a mortgage big enough to find a place nice enough for me and my son and our dog to live. We are in South East England.
House worth 360k and 200k left on our joint mortgage. His pension is worth a lot more than mine and he has a car worth 20k on finance that he’s been paying off throughout our marriage. I put 29k down on the deposit when we brought the house and he put down 7k.
I have a solicitor but she won’t give me an answer to this question and charges £40 plus vat with each reply so don’t want to keep asking her.
submitted by INFPsunflower to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]
House worth 360k and 200k left on our joint mortgage. His pension is worth a lot more than mine and he has a car worth 20k on finance that he’s been paying off throughout our marriage. I put 29k down on the deposit when we brought the house and he put down 7k.
I have a solicitor but she won’t give me an answer to this question and charges £40 plus vat with each reply so don’t want to keep asking her.
2024.05.14 21:57 OrangeandCoffee Bad Relationship with Men
Ever since I got stalked when I was 11 till 12 yrs old. I can't socialise with boys/men normally. I felt disgusted especially when they like me. Try to force myself to accept men but using wrong approach /platform (dating apps). Got so many bad experiences/traumas now.
I keep getting dumped without a chance for me to give proper goodbye.
First, my ex-fwb break-up with me after 1 year & 10 month via text. He was my first male friend and fwb(everything), so I was mad, he didn't give me a chance proper goodbye. I felt I was used.
Second, just someone I meet in blind date, he was kind to accompany and give advice when I was having hard times (I got SA). I knew I can only met him for a certain period of times, before I can meet him one more for last time, to give him proper thank you and goodbye, I got ghosted from him.
Finally I got an official bf. He is older than me and once married, I expect him to be matured than me. I was so happy got my 1st bf, but our relationship end within 6 months. We never communicate properly. So, whenever I want to talk him about that, he keep dodging me. And he blocked me for 2 months. I want a proper break up, so now I'm really tired.
submitted by OrangeandCoffee to CasualConversation [link] [comments]
I keep getting dumped without a chance for me to give proper goodbye.
First, my ex-fwb break-up with me after 1 year & 10 month via text. He was my first male friend and fwb(everything), so I was mad, he didn't give me a chance proper goodbye. I felt I was used.
Second, just someone I meet in blind date, he was kind to accompany and give advice when I was having hard times (I got SA). I knew I can only met him for a certain period of times, before I can meet him one more for last time, to give him proper thank you and goodbye, I got ghosted from him.
Finally I got an official bf. He is older than me and once married, I expect him to be matured than me. I was so happy got my 1st bf, but our relationship end within 6 months. We never communicate properly. So, whenever I want to talk him about that, he keep dodging me. And he blocked me for 2 months. I want a proper break up, so now I'm really tired.
2024.05.14 21:57 ultimateflatscreentv I (22F) am in a confusing relationship with 41M, does he want me for green card/visa, and is the age gap weird?
I'm (22F) an American girl, and while living abroad in Europe I met a 41M who became my driver whom I hired to drive me around various places since I didn't have a car. My own mother actually found him for me via a Facebook group (she's back in the US). He's an immigrant not from the EU originally but a poorer country. My first impressions of him was that he was very genuine, charismatic, and a good caring person. We chatted the whole drive and blasted music and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. However, there were some moments that made it seem like he was flirting with me, like he called me a "beautiful girl" multiple times, he complimented my smile, he asked if I had a boyfriend within 10 minutes of meeting him, he even asked if I would ever go for older guys, but at the time I only thought he asked because I was talking about my own parents' age gap. I sort of brushed off these flirtatious moments and chalked it up to him being from a different culture and being warmer and more open than Americans. Plus, I couldn't ever fathom a man who could be my father flirting with me. I told my mom about how good of an experience I had and she wrote him a message on Facebook thanking him on my behalf since she was the one who reached out to him first. He then sent Facebook friend requests to us both and we both accepted. When I woke up in the morning, there were probably around 50 notifications that he had hearted (not just liked) literally all my photos. My mom said he did the same to her profile but to a lesser extent. I hired him again after that and we continued to chat and become closer. Then he drove me to the airport for one final time because I moved away. He told me as we were saying bye that he wants to go to America very badly and I said that I can help him. He also seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving, there was a certain look in his eyes that girls just KNOW means a guy likes them. When I was in the plane reflecting on all this, I kind of realized I caught feelings for this man. There's something about his personality that really clicks with mine and I never would've expected to have a crush on someone that could be my father. We've continued messaging on Facebook almost every day giving updates about our day and he sends love eyes and heart emojis and I do the same back. When I message him, he says he gets so happy to hear from me and he even sort of indirectly said he loves me. I told him I went to a protest on an issue we are both passionate about and he said all those people there love you for going, and I do too. I'm a bit torn about all this because there are some major red flags and issues. One, he's obviously way older than me and I would never flirt with someone so old if I didn't like his personality so much. Two, we are not in the same country anymore. And three, I am VERY suspicious about how genuine he truly is because while he lives in Europe, he is originally from a poor country and has to work multiple jobs to provide for his kids (yeah he has kids). To be honest, if I found out he was putting on this whole act sending me hearts and flirting with me just for a visa I would be really pissed because I've come to really care for this man and genuinely enjoy talking to him and I feel like we really click.
TL;DR: I'm a 22F American girl who has a crush on a 41M who I think likes me back as well. We message everyday on Facebook. I have suspicions he wants me for a visa and I also don't know how I feel about being with someone so old and far away.
submitted by ultimateflatscreentv to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TL;DR: I'm a 22F American girl who has a crush on a 41M who I think likes me back as well. We message everyday on Facebook. I have suspicions he wants me for a visa and I also don't know how I feel about being with someone so old and far away.
2024.05.14 21:57 Educational-Dog-787 Family left us out of family trip
So I am dealing with a very NarcW who has zero gratitude and blames me for every failing in her life. My family knows alot about how she acts and treats me because she demands they come help us to take care of a 1 year and 6 year old when I travel for work. Most of my family hate the way she treats me and I am trying to understand the best time to leave based on all the what ifs, finances, and kids. But nonetheless I keep finding reasons to stay to avoid pulling that trigger.
I just found out my brother is taking my parents on their first trip to Europe for a cruise together, and they leave on Thursday. I was not told because they didn't want me to feel bad because they didn't want my wife to come. SO now because of how my Nwife treats me and my family we are being excluded from something that I had dreamed of being able to do and give back to my parents in some real meaningful way. Not only will I miss out on being part of this experience for my parents, my kids won't get to be part of it either.
Now it's nothing like money or travel related, as my brother and I both earn well, but we were not even asked because of my wife. Keep in mind my wife will demands we travel back to China to see her family, but last time I wanted to take my oldest son back home (another state) to visit my parents she refused and said she would call the police on me if I did.
I am sad and disappointed, but mostly because it feels like my family is a bit selfish to make the choice to not include us on their own. I am also frustrated that staying with my wife and trying to navigate how to leave a marriage without creating problems and screwing myself or my kids is kicking me back in ways I didn't expect.
AITA for being upset that I was left out, and AITA for staying in what I know is an unhealthy dead end of a relationship that brings me no peace or value besides time with my children?
submitted by Educational-Dog-787 to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]
I just found out my brother is taking my parents on their first trip to Europe for a cruise together, and they leave on Thursday. I was not told because they didn't want me to feel bad because they didn't want my wife to come. SO now because of how my Nwife treats me and my family we are being excluded from something that I had dreamed of being able to do and give back to my parents in some real meaningful way. Not only will I miss out on being part of this experience for my parents, my kids won't get to be part of it either.
Now it's nothing like money or travel related, as my brother and I both earn well, but we were not even asked because of my wife. Keep in mind my wife will demands we travel back to China to see her family, but last time I wanted to take my oldest son back home (another state) to visit my parents she refused and said she would call the police on me if I did.
I am sad and disappointed, but mostly because it feels like my family is a bit selfish to make the choice to not include us on their own. I am also frustrated that staying with my wife and trying to navigate how to leave a marriage without creating problems and screwing myself or my kids is kicking me back in ways I didn't expect.
AITA for being upset that I was left out, and AITA for staying in what I know is an unhealthy dead end of a relationship that brings me no peace or value besides time with my children?
2024.05.14 21:57 Disha-Gosavi i think I feel obligated to stay w my bf
me(21F) and my bf(20M) have been dating for 1.5 years now. Lately I've been contemplating leaving but I think I feel obliged to stay.
trigger warning - mention of sa and thoughts of suicide
so we've been in an LDR and have been able to meet only a couple of times in the last year. my boyfriend and I met on tinder in June of 2022 and started dating by November. But within a week of us dating i almost got SAed. It was a childhood friend of mine n i don't wanna get into the details now. But my bf was on call the through it all and I think the guy only stopped because of my bf. he called me about 20-30 times n almost called the cops and that's when the guy stopped. ik it affected my boyfriend a lot. Me and my bf both have a history of SA from our childhoods and it was really difficult for the both of us. I was suicidal and had lost the will to live. my bf also felt really guilty and helpless because during the whole thing he was on call but couldn't do anything. i still cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him. But he was like my rock and helped me through everything. I dont think i would've been alive today if it wasn't for him. I am really grateful for everything he's done for me til date. hes super caring and affectionate and i can see how much he loves me in the way he talks to me. he is the first bf who's treated me right and I'm so grateful to have him. The first 6m of our relationship was very tumultuous and we had broken up and gotten back together a couple of times but now he is just not the same anymore. the whole thing took a huge toll on him. i think i was recurrent depression ( if it's a thing ) never been diagnosed but used to go to a therapist regularly but i don't think I've ever I'll ever been fine. My bf is in 3rd yr of uni and stays on campus. i m doing a professional course and currently stay at home.( i didnt stay at my home when the whole friend stuff happened ). My bf doesn't really share much with me n I think it becomes he thinks I have a lot on my plate already. now i don't think I can talk to my bf about how I feel because after the whole thing happened we took a break for a bit and after that whenever i tried to talk to my bf about anything it just doesn't help. We either end up fighting or he dismisses it or it just turns into a communication lesson for our relationship. i know and I can see that he really tries but nothing has been working and it's been a year. we are in a LDR n i feel the only thing we have is communication. i think we both should feel comfortable enough to talk to each other. i also feel like I have been taken for granted now or maybe he just doesn't not care ( i know he does but i just don't see it) but we still fight about the same small things over n over. i would understand fighting about the same issues if the issues were complex but okay so give an example I'm not really a text person i usually hate texting but idm texting my bf because he feels more comfortable on text but personally for me texting doesn't really feel like talking to me . I have told him that whenever I'm upset or if my mood's a lil off i don't really like texting. so about the whole communication part. i have been very hesitant while talking to him but in the end have always tried to talk to him. i know he cares a lot and notices even if my mood's a lil off and always asks me if something happened or why my mood is off. i usually hesitate because it never end well for me. i hate being vulnerable in front of people but w my bf it's different. but i usually take my time to open up but lately about a couple of months ago I just tried not to talk to him about stuff because i wasn't really in a good place. i had my exams coming up and I kept getting flashbacks of me getting SAed while was kid. usually i didn't mind it turning into a communication lesson for us but about this i rarely ever talk about this to anyone ( noone actually) but when I do talk it turns into a meltdown and i need help. so I stopped talking to him about this but felt really guilty. hed also get frustrated when i didn't talk to him which i kinda don't blame him for because ik he cares and i didn't tell him anything but i just couldn't afford that then. Even at that time he'd rather text than call. we've had a fight about this for almost 10-12 times. i have always told him that atleast when I'm upset I'd rather talk on call because i usually can't express and feel like I'm alone while texting. we've also had fights about the whole communication thing and he does try but they only last a couple of days. i usually don't really like fighting over these things n just let it go. he always tells me to point out his mistakes as n when it happens I tried that but we ended up fighting everyday. i don't want that. i also i have a feeling that he's w me just because I was around. it can't be true because he went through so much for me n honestly it would've been easier for him if he had left but ik I felt obligated to stay at the beginning. he tells me that he struggles to feel emotions and doesn't really have any friends. i kinda feel guilty. ik he usually has a lot of academic pressure+ he's also working+ i also think he's doing atleast a couple of projects ( i don't really understand I'm from a different field) i think he's wasting his residual time in front of a screen talking to him instead of actually going out n having fun. i feel responsible ik he's scold me for even considering this . i just feel really guilty because I think we could've built a meaningful relationship w someone there if it weren't for me n that person could've been there with him there. i think we're both really young and I feel like I'm just wasting his college days . i don't really go to college and only go to college for my sem exams so I'm not missing much anyways. Hes the sweetest guy and i only want the best for him. but now I've think I feel obligated to stay because he's been there for me but i don't see any changes in him. ik he's trying but i just don't see it and it's been a year. id understand no positive results but it keeps getting worse. i hold do much love and respect for him. i think he's the only guy I've ever truly loved. but I don't want him to suffer because of me . so ik i do wanna stay w him. I love him so much but it makes me wonder if it's right I'm so sorry for this being so long idk ifanyone will actually read this but thank you so much and I hope anyone reading this has a nice day
submitted by Disha-Gosavi to offmychest [link] [comments]
trigger warning - mention of sa and thoughts of suicide
so we've been in an LDR and have been able to meet only a couple of times in the last year. my boyfriend and I met on tinder in June of 2022 and started dating by November. But within a week of us dating i almost got SAed. It was a childhood friend of mine n i don't wanna get into the details now. But my bf was on call the through it all and I think the guy only stopped because of my bf. he called me about 20-30 times n almost called the cops and that's when the guy stopped. ik it affected my boyfriend a lot. Me and my bf both have a history of SA from our childhoods and it was really difficult for the both of us. I was suicidal and had lost the will to live. my bf also felt really guilty and helpless because during the whole thing he was on call but couldn't do anything. i still cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him. But he was like my rock and helped me through everything. I dont think i would've been alive today if it wasn't for him. I am really grateful for everything he's done for me til date. hes super caring and affectionate and i can see how much he loves me in the way he talks to me. he is the first bf who's treated me right and I'm so grateful to have him. The first 6m of our relationship was very tumultuous and we had broken up and gotten back together a couple of times but now he is just not the same anymore. the whole thing took a huge toll on him. i think i was recurrent depression ( if it's a thing ) never been diagnosed but used to go to a therapist regularly but i don't think I've ever I'll ever been fine. My bf is in 3rd yr of uni and stays on campus. i m doing a professional course and currently stay at home.( i didnt stay at my home when the whole friend stuff happened ). My bf doesn't really share much with me n I think it becomes he thinks I have a lot on my plate already. now i don't think I can talk to my bf about how I feel because after the whole thing happened we took a break for a bit and after that whenever i tried to talk to my bf about anything it just doesn't help. We either end up fighting or he dismisses it or it just turns into a communication lesson for our relationship. i know and I can see that he really tries but nothing has been working and it's been a year. we are in a LDR n i feel the only thing we have is communication. i think we both should feel comfortable enough to talk to each other. i also feel like I have been taken for granted now or maybe he just doesn't not care ( i know he does but i just don't see it) but we still fight about the same small things over n over. i would understand fighting about the same issues if the issues were complex but okay so give an example I'm not really a text person i usually hate texting but idm texting my bf because he feels more comfortable on text but personally for me texting doesn't really feel like talking to me . I have told him that whenever I'm upset or if my mood's a lil off i don't really like texting. so about the whole communication part. i have been very hesitant while talking to him but in the end have always tried to talk to him. i know he cares a lot and notices even if my mood's a lil off and always asks me if something happened or why my mood is off. i usually hesitate because it never end well for me. i hate being vulnerable in front of people but w my bf it's different. but i usually take my time to open up but lately about a couple of months ago I just tried not to talk to him about stuff because i wasn't really in a good place. i had my exams coming up and I kept getting flashbacks of me getting SAed while was kid. usually i didn't mind it turning into a communication lesson for us but about this i rarely ever talk about this to anyone ( noone actually) but when I do talk it turns into a meltdown and i need help. so I stopped talking to him about this but felt really guilty. hed also get frustrated when i didn't talk to him which i kinda don't blame him for because ik he cares and i didn't tell him anything but i just couldn't afford that then. Even at that time he'd rather text than call. we've had a fight about this for almost 10-12 times. i have always told him that atleast when I'm upset I'd rather talk on call because i usually can't express and feel like I'm alone while texting. we've also had fights about the whole communication thing and he does try but they only last a couple of days. i usually don't really like fighting over these things n just let it go. he always tells me to point out his mistakes as n when it happens I tried that but we ended up fighting everyday. i don't want that. i also i have a feeling that he's w me just because I was around. it can't be true because he went through so much for me n honestly it would've been easier for him if he had left but ik I felt obligated to stay at the beginning. he tells me that he struggles to feel emotions and doesn't really have any friends. i kinda feel guilty. ik he usually has a lot of academic pressure+ he's also working+ i also think he's doing atleast a couple of projects ( i don't really understand I'm from a different field) i think he's wasting his residual time in front of a screen talking to him instead of actually going out n having fun. i feel responsible ik he's scold me for even considering this . i just feel really guilty because I think we could've built a meaningful relationship w someone there if it weren't for me n that person could've been there with him there. i think we're both really young and I feel like I'm just wasting his college days . i don't really go to college and only go to college for my sem exams so I'm not missing much anyways. Hes the sweetest guy and i only want the best for him. but now I've think I feel obligated to stay because he's been there for me but i don't see any changes in him. ik he's trying but i just don't see it and it's been a year. id understand no positive results but it keeps getting worse. i hold do much love and respect for him. i think he's the only guy I've ever truly loved. but I don't want him to suffer because of me . so ik i do wanna stay w him. I love him so much but it makes me wonder if it's right I'm so sorry for this being so long idk ifanyone will actually read this but thank you so much and I hope anyone reading this has a nice day
2024.05.14 21:57 More-Historian2478 AITAH for not telling my children I cheated first?
Throwaway for obvious reasons. I 43F have 3 children 17f, 14f, and 11m. I have been divorced from my Ex for 4 years due to a plethora of issues including our mutual infidelity. Now I'm not defending my actions in the slightest. I know I was wrong and would never hurt my current partner in the same way, but feel my actions need some explaining.
My ex and I both come from very religious upbringings and were essentially arranged to be married by our families. I was a stay at home wife and he worked at his father's company, he never treated me poorly in any way, pulled his weight around the house and he was an amazing father, but we were just never very compatible. I now know I am Pansexual and non-monogamous. Shortly after our youngest began school I felt aimless and got a job. While working, I began a fling with a coworker that turned into a full blown affair. It continued for about a year before I was confronted by my ex. He didn't scream at me or anything, he just sat me down and said I could do what I need to do, but keep it away from the kids. Two years after that he met his current wife and left me to be with her.
The kids were devastated and blamed him for leaving despite the fact that he lives 10 minutes away, has never missed any event or milestone and has tried his best to be a good father. His relationship with them is rocky to say the least. The oldest two hate him with a passion and would scream and throw tantrums whenever they were forced to visit him. My youngest was originally Ok with my ex, but his siblings are turning him against their father as well. My ex and I decided early on that we wouldn't discuss our divorce with our kids and just let them know we no longer love each other. To my knowledge neither of us have ever bad mouthed the other and even today consider each other good friends. (Yes all three have had therapy including family therapy with me and my ex, it hasn't significantly improved the relationship).
Recently I overheard my kids talking bad about their father and decided It was time to sit my oldest down and explain what really happened. My daughter was furious to say the least. She's just been a mess for the last few weeks. She's been held up in her room crying, she circles between being sad about how poorly she's treated her dad and being pissed at me for letting her bad mouth him for so many years. I told her I never said to treat her dad that way. All three kids have decided I'm a monster, and have disowned me. They say they no longer need me in their life and will live with my ex and his wife from now on.
I'm just annoyed by this whole situation. I want them to move back in and continue counseling immediately, but my ex has been less than supportive. He said he doesn't have an ill will towards me, but they hated him for years I can wait it out a little while to see if they settle down and have them do counseling when they are ready. I told him it's not fair. He said I could have revealed the truth at anytime and was more than happy to let them hate him. I know I suck in general, but am I the asshole for sticking to our original agreement?
submitted by More-Historian2478 to AITAH [link] [comments]
My ex and I both come from very religious upbringings and were essentially arranged to be married by our families. I was a stay at home wife and he worked at his father's company, he never treated me poorly in any way, pulled his weight around the house and he was an amazing father, but we were just never very compatible. I now know I am Pansexual and non-monogamous. Shortly after our youngest began school I felt aimless and got a job. While working, I began a fling with a coworker that turned into a full blown affair. It continued for about a year before I was confronted by my ex. He didn't scream at me or anything, he just sat me down and said I could do what I need to do, but keep it away from the kids. Two years after that he met his current wife and left me to be with her.
The kids were devastated and blamed him for leaving despite the fact that he lives 10 minutes away, has never missed any event or milestone and has tried his best to be a good father. His relationship with them is rocky to say the least. The oldest two hate him with a passion and would scream and throw tantrums whenever they were forced to visit him. My youngest was originally Ok with my ex, but his siblings are turning him against their father as well. My ex and I decided early on that we wouldn't discuss our divorce with our kids and just let them know we no longer love each other. To my knowledge neither of us have ever bad mouthed the other and even today consider each other good friends. (Yes all three have had therapy including family therapy with me and my ex, it hasn't significantly improved the relationship).
Recently I overheard my kids talking bad about their father and decided It was time to sit my oldest down and explain what really happened. My daughter was furious to say the least. She's just been a mess for the last few weeks. She's been held up in her room crying, she circles between being sad about how poorly she's treated her dad and being pissed at me for letting her bad mouth him for so many years. I told her I never said to treat her dad that way. All three kids have decided I'm a monster, and have disowned me. They say they no longer need me in their life and will live with my ex and his wife from now on.
I'm just annoyed by this whole situation. I want them to move back in and continue counseling immediately, but my ex has been less than supportive. He said he doesn't have an ill will towards me, but they hated him for years I can wait it out a little while to see if they settle down and have them do counseling when they are ready. I told him it's not fair. He said I could have revealed the truth at anytime and was more than happy to let them hate him. I know I suck in general, but am I the asshole for sticking to our original agreement?
2024.05.14 21:56 user87666666 Anyone can analyze what is happening with this situation?
It happened not only once, but quite a few times in different scenarios. For example, our family goes to a restaurant, the restaurant asks to give a lot of personal information, so I say I dont want to have a meal here anymore, I want to go another place which can be nearby. My AP dont care, they just sit down on the table. I said I dont want to, then AD goes berserk and starts shouting at me in the restaurant. I left and found another place myself. I think a similar thing happened with a doctor. I said I have seen this doctor and she is not good. She did not tell me a lot of things and even shooed me away. AP still went to see that doctor the next day. Sometimes I wonder if my AP is just creatures of habit so they like to go somewhere they are familiar with so they wont stand up with me. Sometimes I wonder if I am the problem??
I think I know why I dont tell my parents problems/ dont rely on them/ feel abandoned. When I disagree with something I dont usually say it out loud in order to talk it out, cause I'm thinking like my parents would just shut me down. I'm changing as I get older in that I am communicating more with strangers if I have an issue, but the origin of it all I think is my fear from AP and thinking no one will support me anyways
submitted by user87666666 to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]
I think I know why I dont tell my parents problems/ dont rely on them/ feel abandoned. When I disagree with something I dont usually say it out loud in order to talk it out, cause I'm thinking like my parents would just shut me down. I'm changing as I get older in that I am communicating more with strangers if I have an issue, but the origin of it all I think is my fear from AP and thinking no one will support me anyways
2024.05.14 21:56 Jakla1986 New Father here
38 years old here. My wife and I were fortunate enough to meet our son at 3:30 in the morning on Mother’s Day. Words cannot begin to describe the instant connection that I feel with my son. I have never felt like this and even though I am terrified of the unknown I simultaneously have never been happier. I did not know I had the capacity to immediately love something or someone this much. He gripped my finger two minutes after being born. I could just watch him sleep for hours. Holding him is not my favorite activity of all time, as well as kissing him on the forehead. I know there are difficult times ahead, but I just wanted to share. Thank you God or universe or whatever is out there for giving me the gift. I promise that I will do my base to be the best father I can possibly be
submitted by Jakla1986 to Dads [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 21:56 ActuallyFen Even in its 'underpowered' state, the Tenderizer is a lot of fun
I'm glad they finally painted it black lol.
I'll be comparing the current (pre-buff) Tenderizer to the current (post-buff) Liberator and the Sickle.
Recoil per second comparison
With its slower firing speed and low recoil, the Tenderizer's recoil per second is 100. Compared to the Liberator's ~160, the Tenderizer experiences only ~63% of the Liberator's recoil, a reduction of ~37%. Think of it as having the "30% reduction in recoil" armor passive applied to your primary weapon at all times.
Compared to the Sickle, the Tenderizer has 400% more recoil, because the Sickle is a laser weapon. However, the Sickle must be used in fully automatic mode, must be spun up, and has some wicked bullet spread. I don't have a way to measure the bullet spread right now, but from personal experience the Tenderizer feels more responsive and accurate.
Damage per second comparison
With its slower firing speed of only 600 rounds per minute, the Tenderizer deals 600 damage per second. The Liberator deals 640 damage per second thanks to a faster firing rate. This means the Tenderizer deals ~94% of the dps of the Liberator. In my opinion, this is a near negligible downside when compared to the weapon's increased accuracy.
Compared to the Sickle's DPS of 687.5, the Tenderizer deals ~87% of the Sickle's dps. This is more noticeable, and it makes dealing with close-ranged enemies like Berserkers more difficult.
Fire time comparison
The Tenderizer fires at 600 rounds per minute and has a mag size of 35, meaning you can empty its magazine in 3.5 seconds. The Liberator has a larger mag of 45, but a faster fire rate of 640, meaning its mag runs dry in ~4.2 seconds. This means the Tenderizer has ~83% the fire time of the Liberator, which is quite noticeable. You will be reloading this weapon a lot more often.
Compared to the Sickle's fire time of 7 seconds, the Tenderizer has exactly half (50%) the fire time of the Sickle. On colder planets, the Sickle's fire time is increased to 7.5 seconds, and on hot planets, the Sickle's fire time is reduced to 6.5 seconds. This gives the Tenderizer a relative fire time of ~47% and ~54% on cold and hot planets respectively.
Overall comparison
While the Sickle is still a standout assault rifle, the Tenderizer is a noticeable side-grade to the Liberator. It offers increased recoil control for slightly reduced DPS and largely reduced fire time.
Against the bots specifically, I've been having a blast with the weapon because it makes targeting weak spots on bots much easier. Personally I'm a fan of disarming Heavy Devastators by shooting their machine guns when possible, turning them into slow moving melee-only bots that can be ignored or dealt with at a later time. If you're more confident in your aim, the Tenderizer's excellent control makes it easy to land the three headshots necessary to kill all kinds of Devastators.
Of course, when the Tenderizer is inevitably buffed, it will be much much better than shown here, and I'm very excited to review its stats after this happens.
submitted by ActuallyFen to Helldivers [link] [comments]
I'll be comparing the current (pre-buff) Tenderizer to the current (post-buff) Liberator and the Sickle.
Recoil per second comparison
With its slower firing speed and low recoil, the Tenderizer's recoil per second is 100. Compared to the Liberator's ~160, the Tenderizer experiences only ~63% of the Liberator's recoil, a reduction of ~37%. Think of it as having the "30% reduction in recoil" armor passive applied to your primary weapon at all times.
Compared to the Sickle, the Tenderizer has 400% more recoil, because the Sickle is a laser weapon. However, the Sickle must be used in fully automatic mode, must be spun up, and has some wicked bullet spread. I don't have a way to measure the bullet spread right now, but from personal experience the Tenderizer feels more responsive and accurate.
Damage per second comparison
With its slower firing speed of only 600 rounds per minute, the Tenderizer deals 600 damage per second. The Liberator deals 640 damage per second thanks to a faster firing rate. This means the Tenderizer deals ~94% of the dps of the Liberator. In my opinion, this is a near negligible downside when compared to the weapon's increased accuracy.
Compared to the Sickle's DPS of 687.5, the Tenderizer deals ~87% of the Sickle's dps. This is more noticeable, and it makes dealing with close-ranged enemies like Berserkers more difficult.
Fire time comparison
The Tenderizer fires at 600 rounds per minute and has a mag size of 35, meaning you can empty its magazine in 3.5 seconds. The Liberator has a larger mag of 45, but a faster fire rate of 640, meaning its mag runs dry in ~4.2 seconds. This means the Tenderizer has ~83% the fire time of the Liberator, which is quite noticeable. You will be reloading this weapon a lot more often.
Compared to the Sickle's fire time of 7 seconds, the Tenderizer has exactly half (50%) the fire time of the Sickle. On colder planets, the Sickle's fire time is increased to 7.5 seconds, and on hot planets, the Sickle's fire time is reduced to 6.5 seconds. This gives the Tenderizer a relative fire time of ~47% and ~54% on cold and hot planets respectively.
Overall comparison
While the Sickle is still a standout assault rifle, the Tenderizer is a noticeable side-grade to the Liberator. It offers increased recoil control for slightly reduced DPS and largely reduced fire time.
Against the bots specifically, I've been having a blast with the weapon because it makes targeting weak spots on bots much easier. Personally I'm a fan of disarming Heavy Devastators by shooting their machine guns when possible, turning them into slow moving melee-only bots that can be ignored or dealt with at a later time. If you're more confident in your aim, the Tenderizer's excellent control makes it easy to land the three headshots necessary to kill all kinds of Devastators.
Of course, when the Tenderizer is inevitably buffed, it will be much much better than shown here, and I'm very excited to review its stats after this happens.
2024.05.14 21:56 ComradePoolio I [25M] am planning a themed gift for my partner [24F]. Should I pair it with a ring or necklace?
Later in the year as a holiday present, I am planning to give my girlfriend a themed gift based on one of her favorite Disney movies. I found a craft item on Etsy that I would like to pair with a piece of jewelry also themed from the same movie, and I have two choices: a ring, or a necklace.
I am hesitant on which to choose because I know there can be implications when it comes to rings, especially when they contain diamond. At the same time though, the ring is clearly themed, and doesn't bear much resemblance to a traditional engagement ring. Even the photos on the website show the model wearing it on her index finger. I just don't want her to think that I am proposing after a little less than a full year of dating for obvious reasons, I'm only trying to put together a thoughtful gift.
Some things I should add, she mentioned to me (unprompted) that though she had disliked promise rings in the past, she wouldn't dislike one from me. I am unfamiliar with promise rings for the most part, but at the very least she doesn't exclusively associate rings with marriage proposals, so it might be safe.
Secondly, she had mentioned offhandedly very early on that she would love if someone gave her a Disney princess ring (she saw an ad or video and commented on it out loud, it was not meant to be a hint afaik).
This is the ring. Does it seem like a safe pairing? I don't plan to make a habit of giving rings as gifts, but in this case it pairs perfectly with the hand-made part of the gift. Plus, I don't think she would expect a marriage proposal at this point. Based on the things she said, would I be safe from either weirding her out or disappointing her?
submitted by ComradePoolio to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I am hesitant on which to choose because I know there can be implications when it comes to rings, especially when they contain diamond. At the same time though, the ring is clearly themed, and doesn't bear much resemblance to a traditional engagement ring. Even the photos on the website show the model wearing it on her index finger. I just don't want her to think that I am proposing after a little less than a full year of dating for obvious reasons, I'm only trying to put together a thoughtful gift.
Some things I should add, she mentioned to me (unprompted) that though she had disliked promise rings in the past, she wouldn't dislike one from me. I am unfamiliar with promise rings for the most part, but at the very least she doesn't exclusively associate rings with marriage proposals, so it might be safe.
Secondly, she had mentioned offhandedly very early on that she would love if someone gave her a Disney princess ring (she saw an ad or video and commented on it out loud, it was not meant to be a hint afaik).
This is the ring. Does it seem like a safe pairing? I don't plan to make a habit of giving rings as gifts, but in this case it pairs perfectly with the hand-made part of the gift. Plus, I don't think she would expect a marriage proposal at this point. Based on the things she said, would I be safe from either weirding her out or disappointing her?
2024.05.14 21:56 gwversion Is it stupid to move to NYC to try to escape loneliness?
I live in the Midwest, in a smallish town. I can't drive due to a health issue, and since becoming single a couple of years ago I have been increasingly lonely. I go to events, neighborhood meetings, that sort of thing, but most everyone around here is either much older or married with kids. It puts a barrier up where I can't get very close to people... just don't have much in common with them, and it's hard to drag anyone out to do anything.
Dating is miserable. The dating pool here, at my age, is heavily skewed toward people who have messy (sometimes ugly...) child custody situations with an ex. A real part of this is that I just want to meet someone. Doing that here will be hard, if not impossible. I did the math on my dating pool, and statistically there are probably about 50 women in this town who even might date me.
I've spent some time in Brooklyn recently, and absolutely loved being there - it takes all of the "can't drive" problems out of the equation and makes me feel like I have agency. I have some friends there, which is also reassuring. I've also looked at places like DC, but so far Brooklyn feels the most like a place I could really thrive.
What I'm afraid of, though, is that I'm going to get there and find out that the problem all along was me, and people just don't care for me, as a person. Materially, I have it good here - nice house in a nice neighborhood, plenty of space, acquaintances if not friends per se... But I feel like I'm wasting my life just working, walking the dogs, then sitting down for dinner alone at the end of the day.
Money is an issue, but it's not the issue here. I can comfortably afford a decent place by myself, and I like having roommates.
submitted by gwversion to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
Dating is miserable. The dating pool here, at my age, is heavily skewed toward people who have messy (sometimes ugly...) child custody situations with an ex. A real part of this is that I just want to meet someone. Doing that here will be hard, if not impossible. I did the math on my dating pool, and statistically there are probably about 50 women in this town who even might date me.
I've spent some time in Brooklyn recently, and absolutely loved being there - it takes all of the "can't drive" problems out of the equation and makes me feel like I have agency. I have some friends there, which is also reassuring. I've also looked at places like DC, but so far Brooklyn feels the most like a place I could really thrive.
What I'm afraid of, though, is that I'm going to get there and find out that the problem all along was me, and people just don't care for me, as a person. Materially, I have it good here - nice house in a nice neighborhood, plenty of space, acquaintances if not friends per se... But I feel like I'm wasting my life just working, walking the dogs, then sitting down for dinner alone at the end of the day.
Money is an issue, but it's not the issue here. I can comfortably afford a decent place by myself, and I like having roommates.
2024.05.14 21:55 PleaseDontBanMeRed Join the beast tournament! (Or two beasts one cup)
 | I’ll be straightforward with this. I run a tournament that offers physical fruits that you can PvP for. And it is completely free to join. Or if that’s not your forte. We also do giveaways! If you are any interested comment or dm me and I’ll give you more info! I’ll post the discord link in the comments too. So you can get info on anything we are doing the moment it comes out. submitted by PleaseDontBanMeRed to officalbloxfruits [link] [comments] Side note. Our biggest tournament we gave away a holiday exclusive beast bundle. You already know that’s gonna be a yearly tradition. |
2024.05.14 21:55 ThrowRA_lala1 I 32F need advice on 50M for Mother’s Day, advice?
I 32F and husband 45M have been married for a little over a year. Am I wrong for considering cutting my losses with my husband? For context, last year for Mother’s Day he did nothing but go to a business meeting and drop his kids off to their mom. No flowers, nothing. Last year, he spoke about cooking for Mother’s day and etc, but didn’t do anything. He stayed gone most of the day.
This year he talked about it all week, because last year we fought for nearly a week over it. The day started and I felt under the weather, my kids from my previous relationship went to a family get together since I was sick. His kids were home. He made me lunch that I asked for days before, and suggested we go get ice cream later.
When later rolled around he said he didn’t want to go. Mind you I hadn’t felt well but steamed the clothes I was going to wear and made sure his kids were dressed. He said he was too tired and I tried but got annoyed and said he could just continue to be lazy. I then sent him a text saying it’s no different than last year. He semi-blew up and said he was going to when he brought his kids home in the afternoon. To which I replied it’s Mother’s Day not MOTHERS NIGHT. More arguing ensued but just for context I’m pregnant now, and I’m considering getting an abortion now and calling the whole thing quits. I give up.
We have not spoken since.
Any advice?
submitted by ThrowRA_lala1 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
This year he talked about it all week, because last year we fought for nearly a week over it. The day started and I felt under the weather, my kids from my previous relationship went to a family get together since I was sick. His kids were home. He made me lunch that I asked for days before, and suggested we go get ice cream later.
When later rolled around he said he didn’t want to go. Mind you I hadn’t felt well but steamed the clothes I was going to wear and made sure his kids were dressed. He said he was too tired and I tried but got annoyed and said he could just continue to be lazy. I then sent him a text saying it’s no different than last year. He semi-blew up and said he was going to when he brought his kids home in the afternoon. To which I replied it’s Mother’s Day not MOTHERS NIGHT. More arguing ensued but just for context I’m pregnant now, and I’m considering getting an abortion now and calling the whole thing quits. I give up.
We have not spoken since.
Any advice?
2024.05.14 21:55 LordGreim225 Beginning of the Great Assault (Operation: Rolling Erosion)
 | It had been too long. Far far too long since they had a command meeting. submitted by LordGreim225 to war_for_Gryllus [link] [comments] (Like seriously really sorry this took so long.) ‘The situation had been developing for some time, & for a time Greim had no idea how to recover the situation as it evolved. Now however he had a plan. Not the best or most sophisticated Plan. But they were against the clock & the situation would only get worse if they waited too long. ”Ladies & gentleman. It has come to my attention that the High lords will not be sending further support for this campaign for the foreseeable future. With numerous wars against the Tyranids and the Indomitus crusades, we will have to make do with what we have. What’s more, word has reached the wider T’au Empire of our invasion of the system. We are unsure if they will be dispatching a Fleet and further military support at this time. As such we are against the clock here. If we take this system & bring them to heel at the negotiation table we can ultimately be victorious on the field & let the negotiators and politicians ensure we keep what we take. As such we will review what I have gathered From our situation. Older situation map. ”As far as I’ve gathered we have very little progress in our assaults on the defensive lines of Camburg. We have taken the Sanguine Bridge & made ground toward but not taken the Firekeep. Ka’esh Fortress, the T’au’s primary military airbase is still operational. I’d have hoped we had taken more ground, but given our situations that occurred it’s remarkable we did not lose more ground. With the clock ticking & our pool of manpower no longer going to be increasing or replenished as easily we need to hit the T’au’s primary nerve in the Gryllus system before we are too weak to do so in the future. I had hoped further forces from other fronts could aid in this, but we are out of time & would lose ground elsewhere we can’t afford to give anymore.” ’The dark briefing room of the Strategiums holo map lit up with new icons of their situation.’ Opening maneuvers “This plan is not very complicated in its opening moves. We will hit the T’au with sudden overwhelming force wherever we can. They need both these fortresses to maintain the defense of Camburg. Firekeep is situated on one of the only land crossings, & with Ka’esh fortresses air bases operational crossing the river with pontoons, or fording with vehicles would be far too costly, as such the Kestrels will cordon & destroy the airbase utterly. It is of T’au design & as such unsalvageable, it is to be utterly razed to the ground. The titans & a Large contingent of Aironautica will provide assistance & heavy fires support. But this is a very well defended target. We believe several T’au super heavies to be present. This mission is their atonement for previous transgressions & to prove their loyalty as good guardsman, if they succeed they will be rewarded. The large support elements is to try & mitigate the losses as much as possible & give them a fair fight. The fortress also hosts a large garrison of T’au auxiliary infantry & conscripts alongside Fire warriors, so be advised. We estimate their strength at 5,000 Fire warriors & 9,000 auxiliaries & conscripts. However the air power is their greatest strength. We will send numerous hydra flak battery squadrons to further assist in this assault.” ’He scrolled toward the Firekeep.’ ”The rest of the army will hit the firekeep in force. This is a major training center for T’au fire warriors & we expect stiff resistance here. They know they’re the last line against us & Camburg itself. T’au infantry & human auxiliaries will be the bulk of their defenses. This was once an imperial installation & its architecture shows. Example of the Firekeep curtain walls. While this fortress could theoretically be resanctified & saved, that is no longer a concern. This fortress & its defenders must be silenced & we can’t cordon them off like Ka’lesh fortress. So its destruction is likely necessary. The Krieg 5th will bombard the fortress as will all available heavy guns not used for the destruction of the T’au airbase. The 5th will use its breaching drills to create passages to breach the curtain walls & storm the outer gates from the inside to open the gates for our forces. Once inside clear the fortress top to bottom, regiments that specialize in this type of environment will take point. If the drills fail we will bombard the fortress till it is rubble & storm it traditionally. The Titans will relocate once the airbase is most in ruin & is unable to be threaten our flanks any longer. Once the airbase is cleared our forces can also ford the rivers & begin moving on Camburg itself. Phase II of the operation: The holodisplay projects the capital city of the T’au Empire’s government in the Gryllus System Camburg is a major city, the largest in the system in fact & primary seat of power for the T’au Prelate ruling over this system. It is heavily defended by both Fire Warriors, Human Auxiliaries, Kroot, & even hosts a Demiurg population alongside other client races. This isn’t going to be an easy nut to crack. While not a hive city it is still a damn big one. Multiple levels exist in certain districts that go into the earth some nearly a deep as the buildings are tall. Its population estimates vary, but we estimate several tens of millions at minimum. The city is several thousand kilometers in length as well. A T’au entertainment Dome, a popular attraction in one of the eastern city Parks This one is primarily used by the water caste, where public debates into philosophy & questions are discussed at length for hours & hours on end in a unique sort of Diplomatic debate Sport that seems popular among the caste. The largest subterrainain district in Camburg in the older human districts. T’au technology & human culture blend. This area is the entertainment A Auxiliary conscripts sketch of Mesme Districts Curtain walls. The T’au primary Barracks and Fire Castes living quarters are situated in between the T’au made eastern portion of the city & older human settlement next to the Etherel prelates primary residence & government building. Security is tight as such & these walls are a major line of defense for the leader of the Gryllus system. The artist was captured in a recent raid & this was found on her person. She has since been taken for further questioning & is scheduled to be sent to the Penal Colony Agri World in thanks for her cooperation. The Aun Reach Compounds view of the city. This is one of the most heavily defended regions & buildings in the entire system. An Artists depiction of the local peacekeepers of Camburg. This station is run by both humans & T’au. Despite what one might think, water caste primarily makes up the bulk of law enforcement in the T’au empire. Their diplomatic skills One of the T’au loading bays & Battlesuit Armories. The heaviest suits that are more akin to flightless walking tanks are stationed in Camburg as a last line of defense. Though not numerous, there destructive power is equal & or super-passes any Imperial superheavy & some are even designed to hunt the might god engines if rumors are true. As stated in a previous debriefing. The T’au Auxiliaries defense corp has taken its toll in this war & its numbers once in the millions of volunteers are now being supplemented by conscripted soldiery. These troopers are given quick rudimentary training & their equipment now shows it. Once wearing full combat suits able to help regulate temperatures & have built in comms. Now these fresh soldiers are given basic fatigues, a chestplate, & a padded kevlar like hood designed to protect them from shrapnel & weather. Their primary weapon a “Pulse Defender” is a semi auto Pulse weapon with no stock or advanced scope beyond basic iron sights ‘The intelligence dockets were detailed & more information could be provided if asked but the lord general continued.’ Icons lit up once again like before one the map with new objective markers highlighted in gold for priority & green for non essential or secondary. “Our assault on Camburg will be absolute & to hammer home our advantage in numbers We still have we will strike with force on the Western half of the city. This is primarily the older settlement from the original human colonists. As such the architecture will primarily be imperial of origin in certain areas. However expect Xeno buildings & designs added as well. If things go well enough attacking the airbase Kestrel & titan forces will join us from the north, though this plav can operate without them. As we approach the city, first blood will go to the Astartes, if they are willing. Any space marine compliments available will attack the Spaceport in a rapid shock assault via however they wish. Anti air is present but I doubt that can stop angels of death for long. Their mission will be to destroy any T’au air assets capable of defense & reduce the spaceport or any ships present to nonfunctional. This will eliminate the threat they can evacuate their leadership before we can reach him. After they have caused enough damage they can withdraw at their discretion.” ’He panned over the guards & knight elements.’ ”We will begin with a bombardment of the outer defenses & target troop staging areas such as Barrack’s & Aun‘s Reach. This is a civilian rich environment. They will likely try & flee from other gates. Hopefully in the east where they are out of our way & hamper the T’au’s movements. Once we have a breach alert all personnel to increase pressure & pour all available units in. Once we are inside the fun part starts. We expect stiff resistance, barricades by conscripts. Murder holes, emplaced T’au turrets & every vehicle & battlesuit they can throw at us alongside infantry. This will be a war of Rats, warrens & destroyed buildings will become fortresses in their own right. My regiment is specialized in shock assault & hive warfare, this will be our element. Many of you I know it will be the same. I will make my headquarters in Alexia‘s Mercy Basilica as it’s old, large & sturdy & capable of holding what I need Being close enough to our lines in the north for further resupply. Our greatest challenge will be Aun’s Reach. This is the resident of the T’au Prelate Aun’Ui Vior’Shi, they will do anything to defend him. He is priority one, take him alive, if we do. We could force the entire system wide T’au force to surrender, We expect other Ethereal to be present as well, kill or take them alive if you can. That massive structure is the central nerve of the T’au forces here in the system. Speaking of Ethereal's there is a target of interest regarding that. ’He pointed to objective J.’ ”This which we have dubbed Seekers Rest, is a facility reserved for a T‘any sub group called Yasu'caor or Seekers in gothic. This seems to be a philosophical concept but its administrative one is something analogous to an T’au equivalent of an Inquisition.“ ‘There was a pause with such connotations.’ ”It’s members are exclusively of the Ethereal caste & while I suggest you research them with data that can be provided, they will often be accompanied by retinues of varying backgrounds including there client races both of militant & other backgrounds. As such capturing this facility & its occupants would be a valuable asset. If needed I’m willing to provide rewards to the soldiers who bring them in, & no it would be open to units who assisted them as well equally. This mission may require a more subtle hand but I’m open to suggestions.” “The T’au military commander is one named Stoneguard. There are other forces present alongside fellow T’au military leaders. Stoneguard believes in a patient hunter tactic of his species. He is patient & calculating & usually defensive, a dangerous combination for a defensive commander. Goad him as much as you can but do not fall for easy traps. Draw him in & lure him to situations he can’t win either way. We won’t take the city in one swift strike likely. But if we do this, we could cripple its defenses & make the other half much easier to take. I will now open the floor to discussion of tactics & methods for making this a reality.” ‘He sat down & let the projection stay.’ (Estimates for enemy forces to be determined. We should outnumber them in most scenarios but they will be dug in more often then not.) |
2024.05.14 21:55 No_Pie288 My (26F) husband (27M) doesn’t love me, what do I do next? Please help.
Hey everyone, I’m at crossroads, what do I do? (26F, Married for over 2 years, no kids)
I’m in the process of moving to my husband’s country- it’s not the best for me but it is better than where I currently live (Husband and I, live in a third country). We have a lot of issues, emotional unavailability, mama’s boy,psychological abuse, mental abuse- you name it. He says he doesn’t need me, would replace me if something were to happen with me or we divorce, is unhinged, I also feel like he hasn’t divorced yet because he is preparing himself up for life after divorce and would do so once he is ready or maybe he just likes this relationship dynamic. The emotional and mental stress is taking a toll on my physical health.
I don’t think I love him anymore, I don’t feel loved either but I am scared to leave. More like I’m scared of life after divorce.
I don’t want to go back to my Home country as it isn’t safe and neither do I have some place or somebody to go to.
I’m educated and work together on his business. If I leave, I’ll probably have to part ways with the business as well and can’t really find something suitable where we live and immigration is fairly difficult.
I crave for intimacy, love and connection. I also would like to have children.
What do I do? Should I try to build myself up for life after divorce and then leave? I tried, it’s hard to focus on my life when there’s constant stress. Will I regret not leaving earlier? Will I regret not having kids and would find it difficult to have kids later? How do I manage if I leave now? What do I do? Where do I go?
Please help <3
TL;DR; : In an emotionally abusive marriage, should I leave or stay? What steps do I take to either stay or leave?
submitted by No_Pie288 to relationships [link] [comments]
I’m in the process of moving to my husband’s country- it’s not the best for me but it is better than where I currently live (Husband and I, live in a third country). We have a lot of issues, emotional unavailability, mama’s boy,psychological abuse, mental abuse- you name it. He says he doesn’t need me, would replace me if something were to happen with me or we divorce, is unhinged, I also feel like he hasn’t divorced yet because he is preparing himself up for life after divorce and would do so once he is ready or maybe he just likes this relationship dynamic. The emotional and mental stress is taking a toll on my physical health.
I don’t think I love him anymore, I don’t feel loved either but I am scared to leave. More like I’m scared of life after divorce.
I don’t want to go back to my Home country as it isn’t safe and neither do I have some place or somebody to go to.
I’m educated and work together on his business. If I leave, I’ll probably have to part ways with the business as well and can’t really find something suitable where we live and immigration is fairly difficult.
I crave for intimacy, love and connection. I also would like to have children.
What do I do? Should I try to build myself up for life after divorce and then leave? I tried, it’s hard to focus on my life when there’s constant stress. Will I regret not leaving earlier? Will I regret not having kids and would find it difficult to have kids later? How do I manage if I leave now? What do I do? Where do I go?
Please help <3
TL;DR; : In an emotionally abusive marriage, should I leave or stay? What steps do I take to either stay or leave?
2024.05.14 21:55 slimesly Dungeons & Prefabricated Rooms
 | Hey everyone. So, for the last week or so, I've been trying to find some procedural generation algorithms that would work for me and a prototype that's been in the works. submitted by slimesly to godot [link] [comments] After lots of searching, testing, failing...I landed on probably the laziest method I tried....Now, this is not to bash anyone doing something like this, or someone thinking of trying it. I just thought some people may find this useful when trying to find a starting point. The Issue I suck at math and wanted nice handmade *rooms* in our *procedurally generated* dungeons. Dungeon Outline The main thing that was discussed was using prefabricated rooms. We needed spaces big enough to fight numerous enemies in, as well as consider the fact that up to 4 players could be fighting in the same areas. The first hurdle was designing spaces that are fun, but could also be used as jigsaw pieces to combine with others. Now, I am used to doing 2D projects, and have never touched procedural generation (in 3D) until now. Here are a couple examples of the prototype rooms: Room module #1 Room module #2 A couple things to note about the modules:
The Placement Whenever a new dungeon is generated, it follows this algorithm:
Add room to array
Once the algorithm is finished, we have something that looks like this: https://preview.redd.it/soz4gl4e2g0d1.png?width=1142&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab075456f88a03482343c502a94efbb43b1ce7d7 This is working on a 5x5 grid. The far left module is 0, and the last is on the right - the lone module one space above the rest. terrible representation of the main path Once this is complete, we then check all the empty grid spaces and if they're connected to a grid space that already has a module, we give it a chance to spawn "filler" or "secret" modules. These are modules that contain small puzzles, chests, cool visual pieces, etc. Conclusion We have found this system to be very lightweight. Although it's not the most sophisticated system, it provides different enough dungeons that you aren't running into looping dungeons - so to speak. This example is only utilizing 3 prefab modules, and will be expanded to, well, many. What's Next? We plan on taking the system a step further and allowing sub-modules within each quadrant to be randomly selected. Since all of the main modules are 128x128 tiles, we can divide this into 32x32 sub-modules and have them "randomly" generated as well. full-module split into 4 The main thing next is cutting off unused hallways. The plan right now is to write some logic into the modules themselves that find either a cutoff point where walls should be placed in the case the hallway doesn't lead anywhere, OR, just adding walls where the door should have been. Either one of these would work, although the latter solution will mean stretches of dead-end-hallways. Considering that the image above is a basic test modules consisting of a square room surrounded by short halls, this may not be much of an issue. Additional Steps The major thing to consider here is performance. Once the world gets more detailed, more props are being spawned, lighting, AI, VFX, it'll start to chug pretty heavily. One upside of this system, is we've already divided the world into "chunks" - this being each 128x128 module. So based on player location on the grid, we can disable neighboring cells. The main reason we decided to test this form of generation, was the fact that placing prefab rooms then trying to connect them with path finding was a pain in the ass. So far, it feels pretty natural running around these dungeons, main exits/entrances on each module don't feel too "square" - I think this depends massively on how you design your modules. Sometimes we create weaving hallways into more open spaces within a module, and this combined with other geometry from other modules, makes it feel pretty cool. That's all for now, might make another post once the world is more put together. I happy to answer any questions and if YOU have any ideas on how to improve upon this, drop it in the comments! Cheers, bn |