Alone in school proxy

Ok, I know how the title sounds, but before ya’ll grab your torches and pitchforks, let me give you some background info. Also, sorry that it's a long post.
I (35 female) met my husband (40 male, we’ll call him Chris) 11 years ago. We were both still in the party phase of our twenties at that time. We drank excessively, sometimes used recreational substances, and had jobs where that sort of lifestyle was common (I was a waitress, and he worked at a pawnshop). During this time, my money was never well spent (obviously), and I got my car repoed twice, and had to move in with him to survive. This really made him reevaluate our current lifestyle.
Chris dragged me into a healthier lifestyle kicking and screaming. I still wanted to party, but I didn’t want to lose him. What we didn’t know at the time is that I had undiagnosed severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The party lifestyle was my way of self-medicating, and we didn’t find this out until much later.
I ended up getting a job as a medical assistant, and he finished his degree and got a government job. We moved across the country, got married, and had a baby, all while I didn’t really have a solid grasp on my mental health struggles.
After the birth of our daughter, I realized that I still had a lot of work to do in order to become the mother that she deserved. I finally saw my doctor about my struggles, got into talk therapy, and was placed on medication. It took a couple of tries, but I am finally on a good regimen, and my mental health is better than it has ever been.
I also took the birth of my daughter as an opportunity to quit my job and start working on a degree of my own. This is where the roles in Chris and my relationship started to become a problem.
As soon as we discussed my plan to go to school, Chris took it upon himself to find a college program for me, and he picked LPN (licensed practical nurse). I explained to him that while I wanted to stay in the medical field, I didn’t want to move into the world of nursing for a variety of reasons. He insisted that it was the best choice for our family, and that I would love it.
I told him that I really didn’t think it would suit me well, but that if he really wanted me to go into nursing, I should try to become an RN, because the pay would be better, and the training would be more comprehensive. Chris disagreed and said that we couldn’t afford for me to be in school for that long.
I really didn’t want to argue with him, and I felt myself shutting down, which is what I’ve always done when presented with conflict.
Day after day he would ask me if I had contacted the school he picked, or if I started the registration process. This constant pressure also made it very difficult for me to move forward. But finally, one day, while he was at work, and our daughter napped, I looked through the different programs available at the school that he picked. I found radiology technologist, and this quickly caught my interest. I called the school, scheduled my placement test, and was put in touch with who would end up being my advisor.
When Chris got home, I told him about what I had accomplished, and how excited I was about this particular program. He looked confused, and said something to the effect of “But I thought you wanted to do the LPN program? When did you change your mind?”
I explained, “No, you wanted me to do the LPN program, and I told you I didn’t want to get into nursing. I only agreed with you because you pushed it so hard. But look, this is also a two-year program, I’ll end up being an X-Ray tech, which I think will suit my strengths a lot better, and it has a lot of the same requirements.”
We ended up agreeing that Rad Tech was the best idea, but his has always insisted that LPN was my idea.
Fast forward two years. I am thriving in school, as a mother, and with my mental health. Our daughter is due to start pre-school in the fall, and I will be transferring schools to complete my degree. I have a 3.9 GPA, I am part of a prestigious honor society, and have earned numerous scholarships. I would like to think that I have grown up immensely in the past few years.
However, Chris still often treats me like a child. He does this in a lot of different ways. I’ll talk about buying a certain toy for our daughter, and if he doesn’t like the toy, he’ll usually just say “No, we’re not doing that.” If I push, he’ll say something to the effect of “You know how I feel about this,” which is his way of saying “End of conversation.” Whatever the issue is, we will almost always navigate through it and find a compromise. I don’t shut down with confrontation anymore and have gotten much better at arguing my points of view. But the way he talks to me seems super dismissive and has the same tone as a strict father talking to a rebellious teen. He can also be a complete man-splainer to an extreme degree.
I finally reached my breaking point with the way he talks to me yesterday. I had gone to my new campus to pick up my student I.D. and to walk around and get a feel for the place. I ended up being able to also get a copy of my class schedule before it was posted online. I realized that they had registered me for a class that I had already completed this past semester.
Chris called me while he was at lunch to chat, and I told him a bit about my day, and the mix up with my classes. I told him that I would make sure updated transcripts got sent to the campus, and I would email my advisor to discuss filling the slot with a different class (To be fair, I did say “with a B.S. class,” but obviously that isn’t how I would phrase it in the email). Chris started telling me “No, don’t do that. First, you have to make sure that you get new transcripts ordered, and then explain to him that you would rather take a humanities class. You can’t say a ‘B.S. class.’” He went on and on for a while.
Essentially, he took almost his entire lunch break to not only tell me what to do, but most of what he said, was what I had already planned on doing. When he had tired himself out with his rant, I stayed quiet, and just said “Ok.” He asked if I was mad, and I simply said “No, but please stop treating me like a child and trust that I will get this done on my own. You basically just took 15 minutes to tell me the exact same thing that I told you.”
Later that night, while I was cooking dinner, he opened the envelope that had my schedule in it, which had my name on it, not his, and started reading the schedule. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, but no matter how often I tell him this, he still does it. He then started trying to explain to me what all the different abbreviations on the form meant (which I already knew), and then started saying that he didn’t like how my schedule was set up. He thought it was too many classes one right after the other (it’s 3 classes in a row and would allow time for me to finish my school day early). He started telling me that I needed to tell my advisor to stretch out my schedule to allow time for a long lunch break, possibly with study time in between, yada yada.
I say yada yada, because I honestly stopped hearing what he was saying after a moment. Was he literally doing the exact same thing that I had asked him to stop earlier that day? Was he really man-splaining my class schedule to me? Was he really under the impression that he could tell me what to tell my advisor? I ended up cutting him off in the middle of whatever he was saying and said “Hey, you’re doing it again. Can you please stop treating me like a child? I’ll take care of this myself.”
He responded “You know I’m just trying to help. But if you don’t want my help, then fine. I’ll just shut up then.”
I lost it at that moment. The flood gates opened, and I honestly had no control over the words that came out of my mouth. I yelled that he wasn’t trying to help, that he was trying to dictate. I threw my GPA in his face, and explained how much I accomplished, while being the full time caregiver to our child, cooking every meal, running every household errand, and keeping our house spotless. I yelled that I wasn’t the dress over my head party girl who needed a guiding hand anymore, and that I was a grown ass responsible woman. I ended it with “You need to stop treating me like a Goddamn child and start treating me like a partner, because I’ve earned it.”
Chris was silent. We haven’t had a fight that involved yelling in years. He wasn’t used to this side of me at all. Eventually he apologized, said that I was right, and then went to have some alone time to process everything.
Here’s why I think that I may have been the asshole, and no, it’s not him trying to gaslight me into thinking I am. As I play the whole thing back in my head, I can’t help but think that I seriously crossed a line or two. First, our daughter, who is only two years old, was in the room with us. I never want us to be the type of parents that yell and scream in front of her.
Second, in the span of just a couple of years, I basically completely flipped the script on him. The beginning, and most of our relationship was spent with him being the grown up, and me being the screw up. I have essentially changed my entire brain chemistry with medication, have had talk therapy to help me grow as a person. Basically, I’ve reinvented myself. While all this has happened over the course of two years, you’d be surprised how quickly that time flies by in your late thirties/early forties, especially with a baby/toddler thrown into the mix. To Chris, it really could seem like this change, and my anger has come out of nowhere.
Also, just because I’ve changed, doesn’t mean that he has. He hasn’t been through the same hormonal and chemical changes that I’ve been through. Maybe I am the asshole for expecting the person he has always been to suddenly conform to the new me.
So what’s the verdict? Am I the asshole?

I've always had stick straight silky, shiny, easy hair. When I was a toddler sometimes I'd get random curls, but my long hair would weigh them down and straighten them out I guess and eventually it stopped. My hair is long and nearly to my waist. It grows really fast. I've never been able to hold a curl. When I tried in high school I'd be left with a slight wave pretty soon because the curls would collapse quickly. Then it would straighten back out. All of a sudden a few months ago I woke up with really curly hair. My doctor just said it can happen every 10 years. The curls collapse if I brush them, and I'm left with the worst frizzy puffed out electrocuted looking hair imaginable. There is nothing silky about my hair at all anymore. Even straightening it produces no silkiness now and it seems more brittle and prone to breakage, and like straw now. If I leave my hair alone after a shower though, like brush it wet and then leave it be, it curls like crazy. All these assorted sized curls and even tight ringlets. It will be so frizzy and seems dry now though. I think because my hair products are not for my new hair type. I need help. If I put my hair in a bun wet over night, it looks so nice in the morning with big bouncy curls, but they don't last and the texture is not soft at all. If I do the scrunching my ends thing I've seen people do, curls form insanely fast in my wet hair, but it will feel coarse and gross when it dries. Please help, I have no idea what to do about my hair, but straightening it and blowdrying it is clearly damaging it, so that has to stop now. I can't do straight hair anymore. I need any help you can give. Please, I'm desperate.

My mom got married in February. I (15f) have known her husband for 2 years and he moved in with us a year ago. He's okay. But he's not my parent. That maybe sounds bratty but he's just not in the same position as my mom. It's always been the two of us until she moved him in and she fills both mom and dad roles. She used to take me to Father's Day activities if I was in an extra curricular that did something for it and of course she's celebrated for Mother's Day. She's really the only family I have who matters. And I don't feel that strongly about her husband. He's fine. I just don't need a dad after 14 years of having no big male figures in my life and them getting married didn't change anything for me in that way. I still wouldn't call him my father figure or my parent. That title is forever mom's and mom's alone. She earned it every day since I was born.
My mom and I talked about this and she gets it. She told me she would love for us (me and her husband) to be close but she gets that I'm used to it being just us and she admitted she also felt honored that I feel that way about her "at my age". I told her she's the best and that's why.
Her husband never had kids and my mom can't have more kids. So he'll never be a dad and I think that makes him more desperate. He asked if I'd like to change my name when he and mom got married and I said no. Mom kept her name too so we'd still match. He asked me to let him know if I ever changed my mind and I said if that ever happens I'll let him know first.
When he and my mom got back from their honeymoon I heard him tell one of his siblings he'd been upset during the speeches when I didn't have anything sweet to say about him like I did about mom. He said he'd thought he might be acknowledged as a new dad and it stung. I was shocked because I never even hugged the guy let alone called him dad.
My mom's husband asked to speak to me after school on Tuesday and he told me he would love to adopt me and make me his daughter. He said he thought it would mean a lot to my mom too. He mentioned always wanting a daughter and marrying mom who had me was like a dream come true. He then said he wanted us to go on a Father's Day trip with his dad, brothers and their kids on Father's Day and celebrate it being official. I told him the offer was nice and all but I didn't want to be adopted or to go on a Father's Day trip with him. He didn't expect me to say no and he asked me how I can say no when I never had a father and now I have the chance to get one. I told him I never missed having one because mom was so incredible. I told him we could be friends with time but he'll never be my parent. He told me the least I can do is go on the trip with him and I said no again.
He was so mad and he and mom got into a fight that night. He's still mad I said no to both things. She's mad he went behind her back to bring it up to me and used her.
AITA?

So I (16m) have had a crush on a guy (I'll call him Jack) (16m) that I've known since we were around 11. He's always been friend and shares a lot of classes with me, I've never really noticed him like that until this year, he's tall, has short-ish hair, is quiet, really smart and usually keeps to himself. We talk like friends until recently because I've barley been able to look him in the eye, it doesn't help that my friends say he's given me more signs that anyone I've ever liked before, they say I act like he's my first ever crush, they also tell me I often get red when discussing him. My mother also really likes him for me, since he has excellent grades, is taller than me, is polite in her eyes, and isn't like the other guys at my school. She even offered to buy him a phone so me and him could talk over the summer, since he didn't already have one. The first time I really had a conversation together after I realized I liked him it was a bit awkward because I didn't even look at his face, after that we interacted more and I found more excuses to talk to him like in one of my computer classes, he sits a row ahead of me, but my other firends sit next to him so i pretand to talk to them to get close to him. After a while I decided I was just going to get over with it and tell him I liked someone without revealing it was him, he is known for not taking hints unless directly stated so I thought I was safe, after a while of me talking about him, he wanted to know who it was, I obviously said no, but said I'd do it later, then the end of the year came and I knew since he didn't have a phone, I wouldn't be able to talk to him over the summer, but ive only ever confessed to people via text so i had no idea how to tell him, talking face to face about it was off the table since i would die, so my friend recommended giving him a paper letter, i laughed and brushed it off saying i wasnt nine anymore, until i realized it was my only option, i decided to come to him about this, and that day he brought his dice to school. He started shaking them in his hand, and asked me to pick a number, I said two (the lowest number you can get on a pair of dice) and he shakes them for a while and quickly adds in "if it lands on two you have to tell him" and he shakes it a bit more, then opens his hand and reveals the dice, both on one. I was shocked and immediately turned around, looking away from him while nervously laughing, everyone told me it was a sign so I wrote the letter, he shares his 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th period with me, so I decided I was going to give it to him one the Friday before the last week of school in our 7th period. When the day finally rolled around, I was pretty nervous, but while I was in second period, it was just me, him and two of my friends who are girls. One of them used to like him and grew up being a bit of a bully (I'll call her Fernanda) so she frequently pulls his hair (he used to have it long but he cut it and I think she's the reason why) so after she did he had his dice out again so I said something along the lines of "if it lands on six then ivtet to fix your hair since Fernanda messed it up" and then the dice landed on six, I immediately got up and stood behind him, starting to "fix" his hair, I continued on for about 3 minutes until I decided that was enough, and i went back to talking to the girl next to me when i heard fernanda say "WHAT???" To which he quickly replied "nothing" I ignored it, thinking he just said something unhinged again, then after class Fernanda approached me and my friend, he mouth wide open in shock she asked something like "did you guys seriously not hear what Jack said??" We obviously said no and when i asked about it she just walked away with her mouth still open, I thought he just said something dumb and didn't really think of it until heading to lunch when my friend (I'll call this one Elaine) pulled me over to the side and asked me "did you hear what they said about Jack?" I said no and she said "people are saying he has a crush on someone and it might be you!!" I obviously thought she was joking I asked who it was and after some begging she told me that Fernanda told her. I obviously thought it was a joke now since she wasnt the most trustworthy when it came to details, until it clicked in my head, I asked Fernanda and she said something like "yeah after you say back down he got his dice out and rolled them, saw what the number was and said 'i have a secret to tell you guys, I have a crush on you!!" I simply asked why she didn't tell me that when I asked and how she knew he was talking about me and not her or my friend I was talking to but she mentioned that he wanted to slap the girl I was talking to and he already rejected Fernanda. I was shocked because I was supposed to give him the letter today and I guess he thought it was the perfect time to announce his feelings for someone who people think is me, but after I gave him the letter he said nothing about it and I didn't have the courage to ask, I thought I maybe overwhelmed him since he's never had a girlfriend, let alone a boyfriend. Now my friends are telling me to send a letter to him, to try to talk to him (he has previously given me permission to check his address and only lives nine minutes away from me), should I do it?

I am by no means an active Reddit user but I just needed to vent and leave my message where some people might have something to share.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend after 4 years together. We started Dating in 2020. I know it sounds stupid to say and literally like the dumbest cliche ever, but I swear to god time literally slowed down the first time I saw her. I was head over heels, and still am. The first year of our relationship was amazing. Always going out, adventures, and excitement. We fell in love so quickly. After about a year, in the winter of 2021, I got diagnosed with cancer. I had a rare form of bone cancer that has now taken my ability to walk, and eventually lost my job because of it. I had to take two years to do chemotherapy and physical rehab just to be able to use 1 leg with my forearm crutches.
She was so supportive, every step of the way she was there for me. But unfortunately, it pushed us apart emotionally and physically. We lost our spark, we tried and tried but just nothing seemed to stick. So she ended things.
I don’t know but it kind of feels like a sick joke to me? To give some context, my previous job was cooking, I loved it and still do. I started in professional kitchens at 14 and I wanted to be the best of the best. So I start working full time at 14 for my dream career, and threw away my high school friends for my career. Meet the love of my life at 19. Then get cancer at 20, lose my job cause I can’t walk, and eventually lose the girl. Like what the fuck.
Ya know I’m a physically fit guy, I eat healthy, and even with my crutches I still go on hikes and like to get out and go on adventures. And most importantly, I beat cancer.
The part I’m struggling with the most is, I don’t think I’ll ever find someone again. Im 23, what other 20 something year old girl would want to date a guy with a disability.
I just feel like it never ends. I’m still in love with her so much. Maybe if I just got better quicker I could have made things work? And now all I can think about is her finding someone else and being with them. I feel like once I finally got better, she ended things. Now I just sit alone in my apartment waiting for cancer to comeback.
I just lost most of our couple friends and don’t have many people I can talk to. Any advice is appreciated.

You might've read many posts like this. I just want to vent. I met the love of my life in high school, we fell in love. I loved her like nothing else. She was the most beautiful, gentle woman to ever exist. Only her would listen when I would talk about nerdy stuff. Only her would make me feel loved. I've been lonely for most of my life, I had depression, self steem problems, anxiety, she managed to get rid of all that. She made me feel good with my body, she helped accept it. She'd be the only person whom I'd get a compliment from. We entered Uni recently. 4 months ago. We got a long distance relationship. Today, after a week of ignoring me, she sent me a long message explaning me she was tired. She said she didn't feel I put the same effort to keep the relationship alive as I used to. She said she understood I loved her, but she also felt I was uninterested. She said she wasn't sure whether she could handle the distance or not.
And now I'm alone. There is nobody to listen to me now, nobody loves me now. I'm all alone and that makes me feel devasted.
She was the first person who'd give me genuine love and care, I grew up being ignored by my parents, by my "friends", she was the first person to understand me. I don't know what to do with my life, I won't ever get over this, I messed up, I really did, I lost it all. I wish I could consider ending my life, but I don't have the courage.

To my favourite group of five: I thank you! When I started uni almost 5 years ago I was scared out of my mind. Scared to start over alone in this new town, scared to have made the wrong decision moving here, scared to end up lonely and isolated. Again. Like I had been in highschool. Like I had been for most of my adolescence. Although starting university and this new adult life, I was still nothing more than an insecure lost teenager back then, still shouldering my old school bagpack and seeking solace in my moms best wishes and the possibility of opting out after the first week if things didn‘t go well. Then somehow I met you. Or you met me. And I was shocked how easy it all was. Chatting, finding similarities, smiling, laughing, meeting up. The first two weeks or so I was holding on to you for dear life, not yet trusting that this loose but promising connection would stand the test of time, fearing the initial euphoria and interest would soon fade. But it didn‘t. And I was finally what I have always, like any outcast school kid, dreamed of: part of a close-knit, stable group of six friends. Allthough I‘ve spent many moments in these past years baffled by my own luck, trying to take it all in, I fear that I still didn‘t appreciate it enough. Will I ever get the chance of experiencing something like this again? The intense laughter, the deepest conversations, this feeling of invincibility with you as my safety-net. Five years went by in a blur and now I’m almost back again at packing up all my belongings into card board boxes trying to figure out where life is going next. One thing is for sure: It‘s going away from you, at least geographically. And as much as that certainty breaks my heart, I know all the things that I‘ve learnt with you by my side are going to stay with me forever. You have no idea what you mean to me! You‘ve helped me find a new sense of self worth, courage to step out of my comfort zone, the knowledge that I can do things– hard things– and this new found trust that life is going to be okay. And for that i will always thank you. Lots of love Your friend

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 2,204,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
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(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
A few days after Neil and Hope's meeting.
Henry Cliff walks alone down the hallways of the Labyrinth. He wears a purple-colored T-REX, a status symbol put in place by the higher-ups as a sign of his newfound prestige and military ranking. Its color, as well as the other new colors among the army allow for a quick idea of the ranking of any human soldier at a glance, especially among those who don't know the humans well, such as their allies for today.
Henry's feet quietly plod against the Labyrinth's compacted dirt floor. His breathing remains even despite having walked for over thirty minutes. Thanks to his newly enhanced body, he could run for a thousand kilometers without breaking a sweat. Even he isn't entirely certain just how strong he is. Perhaps, if he were to come to blows with a Demon Emperor, he might roll them out like a sleeping bag.
As he walks, Henry's newfound clarity of purpose mixes with the voices and thoughts of ten thousand other members of Jepthath's Legion. No, more accurately, they are Henry's Legion, now. While their power might be derived from Jepthath, it was the Hero-King's decision to give Henry command of them and become his Voice.
Each person who joined on that day possessed their own thoughts, feelings, and talents. Their combined cumulative experience, which could now be tapped into at will, easily amounted to more than 350,000 years. If the age of every person who merged had been 10, that would have given them 100,000 years, but the fact the average turned out to be 35 elevated their cumulative total dramatically.
And that was to say nothing of the people who had once been a part of Jepthath's Legion in the past. When Henry first became inducted into the Legion, he was shocked by just how much wisdom Jepthath possessed. While he did not have the truly unfathomable and vast breadth of knowledge Solomon possessed, Jepthath was amazing in his own way. What he lacked in raw information, he made up in with mastery of combat.
If Solomon possessed the combined cumulative knowledge of humanity, Jepthath possessed its raw hand-to-hand fighting prowess. And that served to bolster Henry's state of mind significantly.
Just by integrating into the Legion, Henry's ability to peer into the essence of combat increased ten thousand-fold. Over the last few days, he had happened to pass by several different training grounds for humanity's soldiers on Maiura, most of them having been erected at some point by Neil Adams in the past six years. Henry was not impressed by what he saw. If anything, he was disgusted.
[Their movements are so crude. So lacking in refinement.] He would often think, while conversing with the ancient Hero-King. [I want to train them. I can't stand to imagine them using their sloppy combat skills against old demon monsters.]
[A waste of time.] Jepthath would chide gently, whenever he and Henry had this conversation. [The knowledge you have obtained effortlessly cannot be communicated through words or demonstrations. The only way one can become as proficient as the members of Our Legion is by directly transferring Our combined knowledge through Our souls and minds.]
[Then we have to convince more to join Us!] Henry would exclaim. [These fools are wasting their time flailing about, trying to reinvent the wheel. If they joined Us, they would gain all of Our power in the art of war and become capable of adding to Our collective consciousness!]
Jepthath shakes his head. [I made a deal with the Wordsmith. We will not forcibly recruit anyone. If you wish to convince more to join Us, you must demonstrate Our power. Not only do you possess knowledge of countless schools of fighting, but you also possess intimate knowledge of battlefield tactics and guerrilla warfare. By demonstrating that Knowledge is Power, you can enlighten the foolish masses as to what they are missing out on.]
Henry nodded sincerely at that time. He looked up at the night sky and clenched his fist with determination.
Humanity was wasting its capabilities! If other humans only knew how small and frail they were, they would jump at the chance to join the Legion!
Less than a week before, Henry had been a disgraced soldier, a mere civilian, a person who might never even get the opportunity to shine the boots of those he had once trained with.
But now he was an officer, an elite warrior many would come to fear and respect.
This realization made his heart leap and his throat dry. In many ways, he sometimes felt he didn't deserve this position. He certainly hadn't earned it.
Not yet. Someday he would. Someday soon.
His thoughts come back to the present. He continues walking, ultimately falling into step beside an ordinary human commando also donning a T-REX. A small artistic flourish on the side of her armor, a pink rose, hints to him the other soldier might be a woman.
The grey-armored soldier turns her head to look at him as she walks. "Oh! You startled me. And you are?"
Unable to see her face, Henry looks at her helmet instead, and her name and other information pop up in his HUD, allowing him to see her identity.
"I'm Lieutenant Henry Cliff." He says. "You're Private Ashley McCarthy? Aren't you the lady who can transform into an orc?"
Immediately, her previously formal tone turns cold. Ashley snaps her head forward, no longer looking at him.
"Every time. Every time! Is that all I am anymore? Just the ugly bitch who turns into an orc?!"
"Whoa, whoa!" Henry exclaims, taken aback by her response. "I'm sorry, uh, Miss McCarthy. I didn't mean to apologize- I mean, I didn't apologize- mean to offend you! I- I uh, sorry!"
He stumbles over his words, feeling suddenly ashamed that he spoke so bluntly without considering the other person's feelings. Then again, how could he have known it was such a sore subject for her? That thought also makes him feel unfairly slighted, as he committed a blunder without meaning to.
"No, no I'm sorry." Ashley quickly says, suddenly realizing how rudely she just spoke to a superior officer. "It's not your fault, Lieutenant. I, I just... it's a long story. I never asked for this ability. I hate it."
"You hate it?" Henry asks, as they round a corner, passing a dozen goblins who carefully press against the side-wall to avoid the giant humans. "Pardon my bluntness, but why? In this time of war, possessing an orc form must make you pretty strong. Valuable. You could be on the fast-track to a higher rank if you have any ambition."
"Higher rank." Ashley mutters under her breath. "As if that's something I'd want. I'm not some big brained Terran from Old Earth. I'm just a normal girl from one of the Wild Worlds. I only want to be pointed at an enemy so I can hurt them."
That sounds an awful lot like something an orc would say, Henry thinks, but wisely keeps to himself.
"Does turning into an orc make you stronger?" Henry asks, choosing to turn the discussion down a more positive path.
"Oh, sure. A bit stronger." Ashley concedes. "You know how the Body Booster improves a human's baseline physique, putting some of us on par with certain low-ranking Demon Lords? Well, my Orc transformation stacks on that, sort of. I can pick up and throw boulders pretty far."
She pauses, before adding, "I mean, it is really fun being that strong."
Henry reaches up to rub his chin, only for his hand to clank against his T-REX's helmet. He gives up on the idea and lowers his arm again.
"I recently got a, uh, a pretty substantial boost to my strength. You remember how Commander Hope offered for people to merge with the Hero Jepthath? I did that, and it made me a lot stronger."
He turns to look at the woman beside him, but she simply gazes forward, her helmet offering no insight into her current expression.
Her words, however, definitely give away what she's thinking.
"Oh. You're one of the cultists."
Her disappointed tone makes Henry's heart skip a beat.
"No, no, no!" Henry exclaims. "Not a cultist. Who told you that?? Jepthath's Legion have simply unified Our minds and bolstered Our bodies, making Us a lot stronger."
She remains quiet for a few moments.
"Yeah... that's... what a cultist would say."
"We're not a cult..." Henry protests feebly, but his words fall on deaf ears.
This isn't the first time someone has directed a look of disgust his way, or visibly cringed when he proudly declared himself one of Jepthath's Chosen.
Jason's words during the Great Debate made a lot of people immediately strike becoming a Parahuman off their list. They'd rather be ordinary soldiers in body armor rather than part of a weird, unified hive-mind.
Dismayed, the young man falls silent. He doesn't say anything for a full minute, and perhaps feeling bad about dismissing him so easily, Ashley decides to reignite the conversation as they draw closer to their destination.
"So what's it like. Being inside a, uh... hive mind? Is it weird?"
"We're not a hive-mind." Henry says, his mood deflating even further. "We're... we're like brothers and sisters. We understand one another. We share thoughts, insights, wisdom."
This time, Ashley tries to exercise a little tact. "It just doesn't sound right for me. I guess everyone has their own preferences. Me, I think I'd die of shame if everyone around me could hear my every thought. The embarrassment alone..."
She trails off and shakes her head.
But this time, Henry doesn't just back down.
"It's not what you think at all." Henry says. "Do you know why you feel fear at the thought of sharing your thoughts? It's because you're self-absorbed."
"What?!" Ashley exclaims, pausing her walk to look at him. No doubt, her helmet hides an expression of disbelief. "What do you mean by that... sir?"
Henry also pauses. He turns to face her, resting his hands on his hips. "You have friends, right? Maybe even a best friend?"
"O-of course!" Ashley says, her tone defensive. "What, you think I'm friendless just because I'm not a part of some bee-hive?"
"That's not what I'm getting at." Henry says patiently, holding out his hand and modulating his tone so he'll come off less aggressive. "Think about your friend, or your best friend. Really think about it. What's the most embarrassing thing you remember about him or her? What's the worst social gaffe they've made that you can't get out of your head?"
Ashley pauses. She lowers her head and falls into thought for a moment.
"I don't know. I can't think of anything. Why?"
"What about other people?" Henry asks. "Has anyone else you know made any serious social fuck-ups recently?"
"Social ones? No. There have been a few generally bad events recently, like finding out Baron Mara killed a bunch of people. But she's not my friend anyway, so..."
"THAT is my point." Henry states emphatically. "You don't think about the weird and embarrassing things your friends do. So why do you believe they're so fixated on yours?"
Ashley lifts her head to look at him. She remains silent, digesting his words, so he continues to press the issue.
"Do you know why you find things about yourself embarrassing? It's not your fault. Most people are extremely self-conscious about their own insecurities. Now that I've become a part of the Legion, I experience everyone else's insecurities all at the same time as I experience mine. In doing so, I realize that mine never amounted to anything at all. When you have ten thousand other people worrying about what they're wearing, or if they look fashionable, or some other tedious bullshit, you quickly realize that all of them amount to white noise. They don't matter."
He throws his hand up dramatically.
"I'm not picking on you. It's just a fact of human consciousness. All people are held back by their fear of social pressure, but much of that is because we don't know what goes on in the heads of our fellow men and women. If you could see their deranged sexual fantasies all at once, you would realize you're not weird at all. Everyone has a kink. If you enjoy looking at gross bugs, guess what? Someone else is unbothered by bodily fluids. We're all weird, and joining the Legion just made that clearer to me."
He pauses, unable to see the look on her face. "Sorry, I hope I'm not coming off as condescending. Does any of this make sense to you?"
Ashley slowly nods. "Mmm. Yeah, it does."
Henry heaves a sigh of relief. "Well, great! Great. I was worried I was starting to sound a little long-winded."
Ashley turns away and resumes walking. "You're definitely in a cult."
"Goddammit." Henry grumbles.
...
Before long, the two of them make it to the meeting location, where they arrive inside a massive, hollowed-out area inside the Labyrinth. There, they find, of all things, a new Volgrim Warpgate installed, its destination some unknown desert on a planet Henry can't immediately identify.
As they enter the massive arena-like staging area, Hope becomes momentarily disoriented. His newly enhanced senses pick up surges of spiritual energy, all spread out across the humans, demons, monsters, and other creatures inside. The powerful Demon Emperors, only a few of whom have yet to Ascend to Demon Deity, stand near the portal, using their strength as a show of force. Despite their proud expressions, Henry's keen senses detect a hint of fear in their eyes, as they seem to be unable to properly stand as strong as they always have. It's as if they are being suppressed by something...
"Whoa!" Ashley gasps. "I can't believe it. Why are the Volgrim here?"
"The Volgrim?" Henry asks, following her gaze based on the direction her helmet is pointed.
Somewhere in the mass of the crowd, a handful of decidedly alien-looking creatures with tentacles writing under their mouths and heavily-armored bodies stand at attention, looking like proud leaders and commanders. Their postures indicate a level of arrogance bred into their bones by millions of years of dominance over the Milky Way. Compared to the slightly fearful Demon Emperors, these Technopaths truly stand out as cream of the crop, with unknown augmentations that likely elevate their combat prowess to the peak.
"Those are Volgrim?" Henry asks. "Huh. The only one I've ever seen was that one female, the one who didn't have a mouth. She was presiding over my, uh, my tribunal..."
"Your tribunal?" Ashley asks.
She pauses, then turns to look at him strangely.
"Cliff... Henry Cliff? What the- you're that traitor! What- how even...?? You're a Lieutenant now? I didn't even recognize your name- no, forget that. Why are you in uniform? Weren't you banned basically forever from rejoining the military?"
"I was banned from rejoining the main military." Henry says, lowering his head in shame. "But, uhm, Hope's Parahumans are... different. It's a different jurisdiction."
Ashley takes a step to the side, pulling away from him. He can't see her expression, but based on her voice, she suddenly seems disgusted by him.
"All this time, I was talking to him." She mutters to herself, as she turns and walks away without another word.
Henry stands there, silently. He watches her depart, a feeling of bitterness welling up in his heart. He could pull rank on her, write her up for insubordination. Given his new status as a high-ranker, it would be easy to do.
But he doesn't.
In truth, he doesn't blame Ashley for her feelings. Because of his actions, Neil Adams was captured and humanity likely lost far more people during Stormbringer as a result. He indirectly caused the deaths of hundreds, perhaps even thousands.
How can he demand respect from her when he feels he doesn't deserve it?
As that thought wells up in Henry's mind, the thoughts of the Legion feed back into him, suppressing his negative emotions. All of them comment on his feelings and insecurities, offering kind words to help him feel better.
[You cannot and should not demand respect, no, but you can earn it back through your actions.] A 52-year-old Legionnaire says. [People like her will come around in due time. Perform admirably and make the Legion proud.]
[That woman is a mere Private.] Jepthath chimes in. [Do not allow your emotions to be tangled up by the feelings of a random soldier. You will need to bolster your Willpower if you seek to reach the peak of what you can achieve.]
[Right. My willpower.] Henry says, as his mood drastically swings back up. He hardens his heart, casting aside Ashley's comment and instead meditating for a moment to clear his mind. [Thank you, everyone, for the support.]
With his thoughts clear, Henry strides toward the front, keeping his gaze fixed on the Volgrim Technopaths. Having never seen these creatures before, he finds their horrid-looking tentacle mouths fascinating and yet creepy to look at. While all of them appear to be gender-ambiguous, certainly at first glance, as he comes closer, he does manage to make out one or two female-sounding voices among them. Or perhaps they might be higher-pitched males. He isn't entirely sure, and it seems a taboo subject to breach.
"-the Task Force will be working alongside these Technopath Envoys." Demon Emperor Yardrat says, his tone even and unbothered by the Technopaths to his left. "Naturally, full command of this operation will still go to the Archdemon, as the ranking Cosmic. However, because he will be busy dealing with the highest level threats, control of the ground forces will go to one member of each species, chosen via several votes of consensus. Today's operation is a test, and its purpose is to ensure we all work together properly. NO friendly fire. Our enemy is the Plague and nobody else. Save your personal grievances, vendettas, and petty squabbles for after we take our galaxy back from the Kolvaxians."
He gestures to the ten Technopaths. "The Volgrim have dispatched an army of 100,000 Technopath soldiers, and they will be commanded by this High Technopath named Loputo Jidelor, a high ranking commander of Clan Symmetra's ground forces."
Each of the Technopaths possesses their own combination of flesh and blood bodily parts mixed with metal limb replacements, armor-addons, and other such things. In Jidelor's case, he stands on two flesh and blood legs. However, in place of his right arm is a long, metallic limb with dozens of razor-thin threads waving to and fro where his 'wrist' ends. Each one moves independently, much like the tentacles on his left arm, but their movements appear far more precise. Dozens of metallic pieces are attached seemingly at random to his skin and skull.
Jidelor nods. "I am an experienced battlefield commander, but I am not a frontline soldier. I will be controlling our siege weaponry and directing our soldiers from the back."
Yardrat nods, then continues. "For the Demons, it goes without saying that just like with the last ten operations, Emperor Serena will be commanding our forces. Her ability to link souls together has proven instrumental in rapid battlefield communications, and her ability to sense souls allows her to keep up with the emergence of new Plagueborn until the point Diablo steals the world core back."
A beautiful demoness with sightless eyes nearby waves her hand delicately. "I will be in your care, everyone. Let us make it to the end without losing any demons this time."
"For the monsters, Fairy Princess Melia will take point." Yardrat says, nodding to another beautiful woman with green hair, fairy wings, and a look of boredom permanently etched onto her face.
Unlike the previous two commanders, Melia doesn't give a speech. In fact, she only rolls her eyes, crosses her arms, and looks away.
"Alright, and for the humans, General Chadwick will be taking charge." Yardrat concludes. He gestures to a massive Norwegian man who has now donned a Rhino T-REX variant and rests his hands around the shaft of a massive battleaxe. Its head rests on the ground, and he supports his massive armored frame by resting on the weapon's handle.
"Everyone." Chadwich says. "It is my honor to lead this mission. Naturally, Commander Neil is not happy about having to work with the demons, and I cannot imagine all of our soldiers are either. However, I pledge on Hope Hiro's honor that we will not commit any cowardly deeds of treachery, any backstabbing, or anything else of that sort! It was Hope Hiro who pushed for this arrangement because he wants humanity's soldiers to get real battle experience against the Plague. Let's be sure to make good use of this time to bury as many hatchets as we can!"
The crowd nods along to Chadwick's words. Some of the humans vocalize their approval, but many more remain silent.
The humans here are not normal civilians. They are military personnel, countless many of whom have not forgiven the demons. They may never forgive them, if their leaders are being honest.
Perhaps sensing the tenseness in the air, Yardrat briskly moves the pace along.
"In thirty minutes, we will begin. Transfer your forces to my world so that I can begin preparation to open the Intragalactic Portals. The Swarm has begun adapting to my tactics of late, so the moment those portals open, we'll need boots on the ground. No delays! If the Plague has its way, it might flood through the portals back to us, and that would be a whole bloody devil-damned mess."
The other leaders nod solemnly. They spread apart to talk to their forces, and Henry heaves a sigh.
In thirty minutes, we'll find out just how stable this alliance truly is.

A few days after Neil and Hope's meeting.
Henry Cliff walks alone down the hallways of the Labyrinth. He wears a purple-colored T-REX, a status symbol put in place by the higher-ups as a sign of his newfound prestige and military ranking. Its color, as well as the other new colors among the army allow for a quick idea of the ranking of any human soldier at a glance, especially among those who don't know the humans well, such as their allies for today.
Henry's feet quietly plod against the Labyrinth's compacted dirt floor. His breathing remains even despite having walked for over thirty minutes. Thanks to his newly enhanced body, he could run for a thousand kilometers without breaking a sweat. Even he isn't entirely certain just how strong he is. Perhaps, if he were to come to blows with a Demon Emperor, he might roll them out like a sleeping bag.
As he walks, Henry's newfound clarity of purpose mixes with the voices and thoughts of ten thousand other members of Jepthath's Legion. No, more accurately, they are Henry's Legion, now. While their power might be derived from Jepthath, it was the Hero-King's decision to give Henry command of them and become his Voice.
Each person who joined on that day possessed their own thoughts, feelings, and talents. Their combined cumulative experience, which could now be tapped into at will, easily amounted to more than 350,000 years. If the age of every person who merged had been 10, that would have given them 100,000 years, but the fact the average turned out to be 35 elevated their cumulative total dramatically.
And that was to say nothing of the people who had once been a part of Jepthath's Legion in the past. When Henry first became inducted into the Legion, he was shocked by just how much wisdom Jepthath possessed. While he did not have the truly unfathomable and vast breadth of knowledge Solomon possessed, Jepthath was amazing in his own way. What he lacked in raw information, he made up in with mastery of combat.
If Solomon possessed the combined cumulative knowledge of humanity, Jepthath possessed its raw hand-to-hand fighting prowess. And that served to bolster Henry's state of mind significantly.
Just by integrating into the Legion, Henry's ability to peer into the essence of combat increased ten thousand-fold. Over the last few days, he had happened to pass by several different training grounds for humanity's soldiers on Maiura, most of them having been erected at some point by Neil Adams in the past six years. Henry was not impressed by what he saw. If anything, he was disgusted.
[Their movements are so crude. So lacking in refinement.] He would often think, while conversing with the ancient Hero-King. [I want to train them. I can't stand to imagine them using their sloppy combat skills against old demon monsters.]
[A waste of time.] Jepthath would chide gently, whenever he and Henry had this conversation. [The knowledge you have obtained effortlessly cannot be communicated through words or demonstrations. The only way one can become as proficient as the members of Our Legion is by directly transferring Our combined knowledge through Our souls and minds.]
[Then we have to convince more to join Us!] Henry would exclaim. [These fools are wasting their time flailing about, trying to reinvent the wheel. If they joined Us, they would gain all of Our power in the art of war and become capable of adding to Our collective consciousness!]
Jepthath shakes his head. [I made a deal with the Wordsmith. We will not forcibly recruit anyone. If you wish to convince more to join Us, you must demonstrate Our power. Not only do you possess knowledge of countless schools of fighting, but you also possess intimate knowledge of battlefield tactics and guerrilla warfare. By demonstrating that Knowledge is Power, you can enlighten the foolish masses as to what they are missing out on.]
Henry nodded sincerely at that time. He looked up at the night sky and clenched his fist with determination.
Humanity was wasting its capabilities! If other humans only knew how small and frail they were, they would jump at the chance to join the Legion!
Less than a week before, Henry had been a disgraced soldier, a mere civilian, a person who might never even get the opportunity to shine the boots of those he had once trained with.
But now he was an officer, an elite warrior many would come to fear and respect.
This realization made his heart leap and his throat dry. In many ways, he sometimes felt he didn't deserve this position. He certainly hadn't earned it.
Not yet. Someday he would. Someday soon.
His thoughts come back to the present. He continues walking, ultimately falling into step beside an ordinary human commando also donning a T-REX. A small artistic flourish on the side of her armor, a pink rose, hints to him the other soldier might be a woman.
The grey-armored soldier turns her head to look at him as she walks. "Oh! You startled me. And you are?"
Unable to see her face, Henry looks at her helmet instead, and her name and other information pop up in his HUD, allowing him to see her identity.
"I'm Lieutenant Henry Cliff." He says. "You're Private Ashley McCarthy? Aren't you the lady who can transform into an orc?"
Immediately, her previously formal tone turns cold. Ashley snaps her head forward, no longer looking at him.
"Every time. Every time! Is that all I am anymore? Just the ugly bitch who turns into an orc?!"
"Whoa, whoa!" Henry exclaims, taken aback by her response. "I'm sorry, uh, Miss McCarthy. I didn't mean to apologize- I mean, I didn't apologize- mean to offend you! I- I uh, sorry!"
He stumbles over his words, feeling suddenly ashamed that he spoke so bluntly without considering the other person's feelings. Then again, how could he have known it was such a sore subject for her? That thought also makes him feel unfairly slighted, as he committed a blunder without meaning to.
"No, no I'm sorry." Ashley quickly says, suddenly realizing how rudely she just spoke to a superior officer. "It's not your fault, Lieutenant. I, I just... it's a long story. I never asked for this ability. I hate it."
"You hate it?" Henry asks, as they round a corner, passing a dozen goblins who carefully press against the side-wall to avoid the giant humans. "Pardon my bluntness, but why? In this time of war, possessing an orc form must make you pretty strong. Valuable. You could be on the fast-track to a higher rank if you have any ambition."
"Higher rank." Ashley mutters under her breath. "As if that's something I'd want. I'm not some big brained Terran from Old Earth. I'm just a normal girl from one of the Wild Worlds. I only want to be pointed at an enemy so I can hurt them."
That sounds an awful lot like something an orc would say, Henry thinks, but wisely keeps to himself.
"Does turning into an orc make you stronger?" Henry asks, choosing to turn the discussion down a more positive path.
"Oh, sure. A bit stronger." Ashley concedes. "You know how the Body Booster improves a human's baseline physique, putting some of us on par with certain low-ranking Demon Lords? Well, my Orc transformation stacks on that, sort of. I can pick up and throw boulders pretty far."
She pauses, before adding, "I mean, it is really fun being that strong."
Henry reaches up to rub his chin, only for his hand to clank against his T-REX's helmet. He gives up on the idea and lowers his arm again.
"I recently got a, uh, a pretty substantial boost to my strength. You remember how Commander Hope offered for people to merge with the Hero Jepthath? I did that, and it made me a lot stronger."
He turns to look at the woman beside him, but she simply gazes forward, her helmet offering no insight into her current expression.
Her words, however, definitely give away what she's thinking.
"Oh. You're one of the cultists."
Her disappointed tone makes Henry's heart skip a beat.
"No, no, no!" Henry exclaims. "Not a cultist. Who told you that?? Jepthath's Legion have simply unified Our minds and bolstered Our bodies, making Us a lot stronger."
She remains quiet for a few moments.
"Yeah... that's... what a cultist would say."
"We're not a cult..." Henry protests feebly, but his words fall on deaf ears.
This isn't the first time someone has directed a look of disgust his way, or visibly cringed when he proudly declared himself one of Jepthath's Chosen.
Jason's words during the Great Debate made a lot of people immediately strike becoming a Parahuman off their list. They'd rather be ordinary soldiers in body armor rather than part of a weird, unified hive-mind.
Dismayed, the young man falls silent. He doesn't say anything for a full minute, and perhaps feeling bad about dismissing him so easily, Ashley decides to reignite the conversation as they draw closer to their destination.
"So what's it like. Being inside a, uh... hive mind? Is it weird?"
"We're not a hive-mind." Henry says, his mood deflating even further. "We're... we're like brothers and sisters. We understand one another. We share thoughts, insights, wisdom."
This time, Ashley tries to exercise a little tact. "It just doesn't sound right for me. I guess everyone has their own preferences. Me, I think I'd die of shame if everyone around me could hear my every thought. The embarrassment alone..."
She trails off and shakes her head.
But this time, Henry doesn't just back down.
"It's not what you think at all." Henry says. "Do you know why you feel fear at the thought of sharing your thoughts? It's because you're self-absorbed."
"What?!" Ashley exclaims, pausing her walk to look at him. No doubt, her helmet hides an expression of disbelief. "What do you mean by that... sir?"
Henry also pauses. He turns to face her, resting his hands on his hips. "You have friends, right? Maybe even a best friend?"
"O-of course!" Ashley says, her tone defensive. "What, you think I'm friendless just because I'm not a part of some bee-hive?"
"That's not what I'm getting at." Henry says patiently, holding out his hand and modulating his tone so he'll come off less aggressive. "Think about your friend, or your best friend. Really think about it. What's the most embarrassing thing you remember about him or her? What's the worst social gaffe they've made that you can't get out of your head?"
Ashley pauses. She lowers her head and falls into thought for a moment.
"I don't know. I can't think of anything. Why?"
"What about other people?" Henry asks. "Has anyone else you know made any serious social fuck-ups recently?"
"Social ones? No. There have been a few generally bad events recently, like finding out Baron Mara killed a bunch of people. But she's not my friend anyway, so..."
"THAT is my point." Henry states emphatically. "You don't think about the weird and embarrassing things your friends do. So why do you believe they're so fixated on yours?"
Ashley lifts her head to look at him. She remains silent, digesting his words, so he continues to press the issue.
"Do you know why you find things about yourself embarrassing? It's not your fault. Most people are extremely self-conscious about their own insecurities. Now that I've become a part of the Legion, I experience everyone else's insecurities all at the same time as I experience mine. In doing so, I realize that mine never amounted to anything at all. When you have ten thousand other people worrying about what they're wearing, or if they look fashionable, or some other tedious bullshit, you quickly realize that all of them amount to white noise. They don't matter."
He throws his hand up dramatically.
"I'm not picking on you. It's just a fact of human consciousness. All people are held back by their fear of social pressure, but much of that is because we don't know what goes on in the heads of our fellow men and women. If you could see their deranged sexual fantasies all at once, you would realize you're not weird at all. Everyone has a kink. If you enjoy looking at gross bugs, guess what? Someone else is unbothered by bodily fluids. We're all weird, and joining the Legion just made that clearer to me."
He pauses, unable to see the look on her face. "Sorry, I hope I'm not coming off as condescending. Does any of this make sense to you?"
Ashley slowly nods. "Mmm. Yeah, it does."
Henry heaves a sigh of relief. "Well, great! Great. I was worried I was starting to sound a little long-winded."
Ashley turns away and resumes walking. "You're definitely in a cult."
"Goddammit." Henry grumbles.
...
Before long, the two of them make it to the meeting location, where they arrive inside a massive, hollowed-out area inside the Labyrinth. There, they find, of all things, a new Volgrim Warpgate installed, its destination some unknown desert on a planet Henry can't immediately identify.
As they enter the massive arena-like staging area, Hope becomes momentarily disoriented. His newly enhanced senses pick up surges of spiritual energy, all spread out across the humans, demons, monsters, and other creatures inside. The powerful Demon Emperors, only a few of whom have yet to Ascend to Demon Deity, stand near the portal, using their strength as a show of force. Despite their proud expressions, Henry's keen senses detect a hint of fear in their eyes, as they seem to be unable to properly stand as strong as they always have. It's as if they are being suppressed by something...
"Whoa!" Ashley gasps. "I can't believe it. Why are the Volgrim here?"
"The Volgrim?" Henry asks, following her gaze based on the direction her helmet is pointed.
Somewhere in the mass of the crowd, a handful of decidedly alien-looking creatures with tentacles writing under their mouths and heavily-armored bodies stand at attention, looking like proud leaders and commanders. Their postures indicate a level of arrogance bred into their bones by millions of years of dominance over the Milky Way. Compared to the slightly fearful Demon Emperors, these Technopaths truly stand out as cream of the crop, with unknown augmentations that likely elevate their combat prowess to the peak.
"Those are Volgrim?" Henry asks. "Huh. The only one I've ever seen was that one female, the one who didn't have a mouth. She was presiding over my, uh, my tribunal..."
"Your tribunal?" Ashley asks.
She pauses, then turns to look at him strangely.
"Cliff... Henry Cliff? What the- you're that traitor! What- how even...?? You're a Lieutenant now? I didn't even recognize your name- no, forget that. Why are you in uniform? Weren't you banned basically forever from rejoining the military?"
"I was banned from rejoining the main military." Henry says, lowering his head in shame. "But, uhm, Hope's Parahumans are... different. It's a different jurisdiction."
Ashley takes a step to the side, pulling away from him. He can't see her expression, but based on her voice, she suddenly seems disgusted by him.
"All this time, I was talking to him." She mutters to herself, as she turns and walks away without another word.
Henry stands there, silently. He watches her depart, a feeling of bitterness welling up in his heart. He could pull rank on her, write her up for insubordination. Given his new status as a high-ranker, it would be easy to do.
But he doesn't.
In truth, he doesn't blame Ashley for her feelings. Because of his actions, Neil Adams was captured and humanity likely lost far more people during Stormbringer as a result. He indirectly caused the deaths of hundreds, perhaps even thousands.
How can he demand respect from her when he feels he doesn't deserve it?
As that thought wells up in Henry's mind, the thoughts of the Legion feed back into him, suppressing his negative emotions. All of them comment on his feelings and insecurities, offering kind words to help him feel better.
[You cannot and should not demand respect, no, but you can earn it back through your actions.] A 52-year-old Legionnaire says. [People like her will come around in due time. Perform admirably and make the Legion proud.]
[That woman is a mere Private.] Jepthath chimes in. [Do not allow your emotions to be tangled up by the feelings of a random soldier. You will need to bolster your Willpower if you seek to reach the peak of what you can achieve.]
[Right. My willpower.] Henry says, as his mood drastically swings back up. He hardens his heart, casting aside Ashley's comment and instead meditating for a moment to clear his mind. [Thank you, everyone, for the support.]
With his thoughts clear, Henry strides toward the front, keeping his gaze fixed on the Volgrim Technopaths. Having never seen these creatures before, he finds their horrid-looking tentacle mouths fascinating and yet creepy to look at. While all of them appear to be gender-ambiguous, certainly at first glance, as he comes closer, he does manage to make out one or two female-sounding voices among them. Or perhaps they might be higher-pitched males. He isn't entirely sure, and it seems a taboo subject to breach.
"-the Task Force will be working alongside these Technopath Envoys." Demon Emperor Yardrat says, his tone even and unbothered by the Technopaths to his left. "Naturally, full command of this operation will still go to the Archdemon, as the ranking Cosmic. However, because he will be busy dealing with the highest level threats, control of the ground forces will go to one member of each species, chosen via several votes of consensus. Today's operation is a test, and its purpose is to ensure we all work together properly. NO friendly fire. Our enemy is the Plague and nobody else. Save your personal grievances, vendettas, and petty squabbles for after we take our galaxy back from the Kolvaxians."
He gestures to the ten Technopaths. "The Volgrim have dispatched an army of 100,000 Technopath soldiers, and they will be commanded by this High Technopath named Loputo Jidelor, a high ranking commander of Clan Symmetra's ground forces."
Each of the Technopaths possesses their own combination of flesh and blood bodily parts mixed with metal limb replacements, armor-addons, and other such things. In Jidelor's case, he stands on two flesh and blood legs. However, in place of his right arm is a long, metallic limb with dozens of razor-thin threads waving to and fro where his 'wrist' ends. Each one moves independently, much like the tentacles on his left arm, but their movements appear far more precise. Dozens of metallic pieces are attached seemingly at random to his skin and skull.
Jidelor nods. "I am an experienced battlefield commander, but I am not a frontline soldier. I will be controlling our siege weaponry and directing our soldiers from the back."
Yardrat nods, then continues. "For the Demons, it goes without saying that just like with the last ten operations, Emperor Serena will be commanding our forces. Her ability to link souls together has proven instrumental in rapid battlefield communications, and her ability to sense souls allows her to keep up with the emergence of new Plagueborn until the point Diablo steals the world core back."
A beautiful demoness with sightless eyes nearby waves her hand delicately. "I will be in your care, everyone. Let us make it to the end without losing any demons this time."
"For the monsters, Fairy Princess Melia will take point." Yardrat says, nodding to another beautiful woman with green hair, fairy wings, and a look of boredom permanently etched onto her face.
Unlike the previous two commanders, Melia doesn't give a speech. In fact, she only rolls her eyes, crosses her arms, and looks away.
"Alright, and for the humans, General Chadwick will be taking charge." Yardrat concludes. He gestures to a massive Norwegian man who has now donned a Rhino T-REX variant and rests his hands around the shaft of a massive battleaxe. Its head rests on the ground, and he supports his massive armored frame by resting on the weapon's handle.
"Everyone." Chadwich says. "It is my honor to lead this mission. Naturally, Commander Neil is not happy about having to work with the demons, and I cannot imagine all of our soldiers are either. However, I pledge on Hope Hiro's honor that we will not commit any cowardly deeds of treachery, any backstabbing, or anything else of that sort! It was Hope Hiro who pushed for this arrangement because he wants humanity's soldiers to get real battle experience against the Plague. Let's be sure to make good use of this time to bury as many hatchets as we can!"
The crowd nods along to Chadwick's words. Some of the humans vocalize their approval, but many more remain silent.
The humans here are not normal civilians. They are military personnel, countless many of whom have not forgiven the demons. They may never forgive them, if their leaders are being honest.
Perhaps sensing the tenseness in the air, Yardrat briskly moves the pace along.
"In thirty minutes, we will begin. Transfer your forces to my world so that I can begin preparation to open the Intragalactic Portals. The Swarm has begun adapting to my tactics of late, so the moment those portals open, we'll need boots on the ground. No delays! If the Plague has its way, it might flood through the portals back to us, and that would be a whole bloody devil-damned mess."
The other leaders nod solemnly. They spread apart to talk to their forces, and Henry heaves a sigh.
In thirty minutes, we'll find out just how stable this alliance truly is.

I'm not sure if this post belongs here but when i was checking other rules of other convos it didn't belong but I really need answers.
A little back story I(17F) made a friend also (17F) at practice. We had already known each other but it was only in passing at school we weren't friends. We ended up joining a club together and thats when we started to get close. We would ride to practice together, have sleepovers together, the whole nine yards.
We ended up going on a trip together with a few other people and we were having a good time. Before the trip she had told me about a boy she met and how they got along really well. I was extremely excited for her because she looked happy.
Things were great on the trip we were having a good time and, I went to her room with another friend. We were laughing and we were having a good time is all I can really say if you get my drift. Next thing I know she blurts out that she was pregnant. Yes, pregnant. This wouldn't have been a problem had it not been for the amount of fun we were having.
I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe and trying to make the situation better I asked what her plans were. She said she was going to keep it. I asked if she told anyone other than me and the other friend that was with us but she said no. The other friend (18F) said I should drop it and we could talk about it later.
I figured this was also a good idea and stopped talking about it but it was still on my mind.
To rewind from this I usually have premonitions in dreams but they're not immediate. Meaning they wont happen the next day. This is important to say because I had previously had a dream about me being in a hallway and the (17F) friend was trying to take pictures but my face was angry and confused. I saw it in the reflection before she snapped the picture and realized i needed to fix it and smile.
I then realized that this was the moment I had seen in my dream a month ago and that it was because she had told me this.
Before the trip she told me that she had gotten her cycle and asked me to check if she bled through because it was on her but not her jeans. These memories were flashing through my head after she told me she was pregnant. I asked her about it and she told me she lied. "I lied, I lied, I lied." Those words rang in my head so loud. She had lied to me. How far back did she begin to lie. This was one of the problems. I could care less about her being pregnant because that was something we could deal with we were friends after all. I would give her anything she needed.
The fact that she had been lying, it felt like she broke my trust. Like I was looking at a stranger. I didn't know what to think. Had the friendship been built off of lies was a big question for me. Some might say I was overthinking or overreacting but like I said we were having a good time. I was stuck with my thought in my room alone.
The second problem for me was that she is a smoker. Vapes and weed. The entire trip. She wanted to keep the baby but she was still using. That was all I could think about. When I was back to my senses I would tell her that she shouldn't do that because it wasn't ok. Implying that she had something to protect and take care of. All she would say was why. It was like she didn't care or didn't remember what she had told me. The rest of the trip I would give her snacks and food and try to keep her away from smoking. Some people said that was weird but I was just trying to help.
I started distancing myself from her because i needed time to process but I was still trying to be there for her. After the trip we all went home and i distanced from everyone. I felt I had no one to talk to about it. She ended up texting me saying it was a joke. My trust was already broken and I didn't know if I could believe anything she would say. Another one of our friends (17F) got us both on the phone and let her explain herself and she kept saying it was all a joke. I dropped it on the phone and said ok but, thats not how i really felt. The trust was already broken for me. I felt our relationship would never be the same. My anxiety had gotten so bad that i even decided to go to a different college because we were planning on being roommates. I just don't know what to do. It actually was a joke but I still don't know how to feel.
What do I do? AITA? Did I overreact? Was I thinking too much? How should I go about this?

I (38 F) have been married to my husband (39 M) for this past 17 years. In fact we had our 17th anniversary this May. This past year I have been working on my health mentally and physically. I discovered that I am in the beginning stages of heart failure, so that brought about many changes in my life. I started going to therapy as well because I have always had issues with anxiety and depression. We have three kids together 15 M, 12M, and 6M. All three have ADHD and the middle is on the spectrum.
On to the initial question at hand. Our marriage and relationship in general has not been rainbows and sunshine. There were many red flags that should have made me ended it years ago, before the formal commitment and family was established. I always compromised and sacrificed bits a pieces of myself from the beginning. I claim to be an introvert but I do enjoy being around MY PEOPLE (people that I feel comfortable being myself around). He has had any affair more than once, even when I was pregnant with our first child. He has a high sex drive and I am the vanilla of all vanilla girls. I have had to push my boundaries to "satisfy" him. I have a silly, vibrant, animated personality and when I get excited about thing it usually big but nothing super crazy. He constantly makes me feel like I am embarrassing him even when nobody is around. I can be myself without being ridiculed or made fun of. I am patronized constantly. His values are...far right, if that makes any sense. I believe that everyone deserves love and kindness no matter what their life choices are.
These things are transferring to our children as well, especially the oldest. He does not co-parent at all. I have made every single decision regarding them from birth. The only thing he "helps" with is discipline which consists of yelling and just using fear. He doesn't participate in any family activities and when he does it is complaining and fussing at the kids because they are not listening.
Here is where I might be the asshole. I know he is going through his own mental issues that he chooses to hold on to. There is no discussions because I know my thoughts will be on deaf ears. He has been making little efforts to connect with me more but I honestly don't even want to work on our relationship anymore. For our anniversary we went eat out, something we haven't done alone together for a long time. Even though we had a nice time, I look at him and feel....nothing. I am not in love with this man anymore. Everytime I say "I love you" it is filled with emptiness. This is making me feel extremely guilty because these thoughts and feelings are not new, it's been at least 10 years of me questioning why am I with this man. The only reason why I have stuck around so long is because we decided that I would be a stay-at-home mother to our children, and now that they are school aged I see my window. I am working towards getting a job with my marketing degree I recently got this year.
AITAH for just giving up? I am practically a married single mother anyway. I fantasize of my life being single and finding myself again.

Hi everyone. About 2 years ago I moved into a rough area because the rent is affordable for me as a single parent of 3. There is a lot of children with behavioral issues due to bad home lives and what not. I've seen a lot in my 2 years here , but I cannot get over one little girl in particular who is being severely neglected. Her mother has been leaving her home alone since we moved in here at 5 years old. From morning until sometimes as late as 11 pm this kid is outside wandering. Mom is never home. I called cas when we first moved about this and they said they would look into it. The second year she started to be completely inappropriate and trying to molest other children in the neighborhood plus saying extremely disturbing things a 6 year old should not know. Once again. I call Cas, explain the situation and let them know she's always left alone and at the time was bein left with moms bf (broken up now ) Cas talked with them, and the only thing that changed washer sexual behavior but mom continued to leave this chil home alone. This child hs stolen bikes from me , picked out every flower in my garden , and just tries to bug me as a way of getting attention as she has not been getting for her crappy mom. Now everytime I'm trying to leave the complex the child tries to follow us out of the complex. Mom is never home, an now I'm feeling like I'm trapped in my own complex and can't even walk to the next neighborhood over that is nicer , to take my kids to the park.
I've told mom multiple times that she has ripped up my things , and tries to follow us and mom could give a shit. Still leaves her home alone. Even during school hours this kid is wandering around alone .
I was talking to my next door neighbor about it and we are both at a loss of what to do with this child. We have also both gone to our landlord t explain the situation and they have given her written warnings but it is not stopping her from leaving this now 7 year old home alone. My neighbor has gone through the same thing with the little girl trying to follow her out of complex, and tampering with her garden, getting into her car ringinging on the door just over all being a nuisance.
I know cas was contacted again not to long ago because she chased down a group of kids with a butcher knife while mom was gone. Cas is not helping...
Thoughts on what to do next ? I'm days away from absolutely loosing my ever loving shit on this mom, but she's so useless I really don't think it's going to help. She has completely made her child everyone else's issue and we are all worried and fed up with it.

So I am a rising Junior at a midwestern state school. I have no idea if I am on track to apply to medical school. I am trying to check all the boxes and in the process feel like I am just spinning my wheels not able to sink my teeth into anything because I am doing everything! I am looking for helpful insight to where I am today and if there are holes I need to consider and should be focusing my energy on. So here are my stats to date:
GPA-4.0
Major: Medical Lab Science with a Biology and Pre Med Minors
Current President of my sorority and previous Academic Development Director Freshman year, Current Vice President of Student Government
500 hours of paid clinical (phlebotomist at a rural hospital)
400 hours of leadership (sorority and student gov.)
70 hours nonclinical volunteer (local library)
70 hours shadowing
Currently in a summer REU and participated on a project and presented on my research last year.
Was a TA last year and will be again this year
I am a simulated patient actor on campus for the medical school here.
Was a research assistant last year and will be again this year
Neither of my parents are doctors. I am a white, heterosexual female from a middle class family. I feel like I am navigating this process alone and making tons of mistakes. Please help with your opinions and suggestions.

My husband and I built our home 4 years ago and the worst neighbors possible built across the street a year later and told me it’s their forever home.
They’re a military family with 4 kids. The mom has told me multiple times that she keeps having more because she loves the paycheck she gets for them all. I wish I was kidding. She absolutely hates her husband that fought for our country and gives her all these wonderful benefits. Even said his deployment job was pointless and a toddler could do it. Said she’ll stay with the dad for the sake of the kids til the oldest is 18. Miserable. Husband is a little creepy though, before they had a girl, he would ask if my 8 month old daughter would come over and play. Excuse me?? I don’t allow my kid over there, even for birthday parties anymore.
She refuses to raise her own kids. She’s a stay at home mom but puts every single kid in daycare or summer camps so she doesn’t have to do it herself. Will ask me to watch them constantly. She makes fun of me for being a one and done stay at home mom. Says it’s easy for me. Her dad pays for all the kids private schooling since she doesn’t believe in public schools.
While the husband was deployed she would beg me to watch the kids. I did once and she was an hour late to getting her kids and dropped them off 45 minutes early. She apologized so I watched them again and this time she dropped her infant off with the flu and told me she just had a runny nose from teething. She nonstop shit all over everything I own destroying my pack and play and I asked her to come pick her up and she ghosted me and picked her kids up an hour late AGAIN.
She had a party and invited every mom in the neighborhood and made fun of me the entire time. I walked into the other room with a friend while she talked shit on every person that couldn’t make it.
When her daughter was born she was in “need” so I gave her all my daughters baby clothes, hundreds of dollars worth. Today she’s selling them all at her garage sale. I have a friend in desperate need of clothes for her baby and she told me I couldn’t have them back because she wants to see if she can make some money before she takes them to goodwill. (Edit: keep in mind they built a $450,000 home and have gov benefits and her dad pays for everything. They aren’t in “need”)
We also use the same neighborhood babysitter. I pay her $20 an hour for one child. She pays her $10 an hour for 4 kids because that’s what she feels she’s worth and she brings up all the time. Babysitter is a 19 year old med student and watches her kids 4 days a week.
She lets her almost two year old wander alone outside in the street when cars drive at least 35mph.
I went out with her a few times to get to know her when she moved in and when she tips a server it’s never over 7%. I find that insane so I’ve always compensated and added my own 30% tip to make up for her.
I’ve asked her for parenting advice and her only response is always “let them cry”.
She tries so hard to be my friend. Even copies and buys things that I do. Finds out my kid is taking a class then signs her kids up for it too and plays it off as a coincidence. She always has to one up me.
Her and I are wayyyy too different for me to even want to consider her a friend but she’s obsessed with me. I need the kindest way to cut her off completely or just anyway to do it nicely since we’ll both be here for the rest of our lives. I’m already kind of stand offish but she doesn’t get it. I have told her no to every invite/ play date/ party in the last year and she won’t let up. Whenever I see her name show up on my phone I immediately feel rage. Please help.

Actully post 18 but it won't let me fix the title.
Moving part 1
Hello internet. I meant to post this sooner. Honestly, these can be hard to write because I'm trying to say what happened without making too long from all the details. And it gets a bit emotional for me. Just a little reminder- My spelling isn't the best, so definitely let me know if something turned out weird.
Just a warning- this is going to be another long one.
So a few weeks ago, we moved military bases. DH (dear husband) is switching his job and needs 9 months of schooling/training at this new base. During the move, there ended up being about a 15-day period where we wouldn't have a home. Because of that, we decided to stay with my parents for that duration. This meant 15 days of being in the same town as my inlaws.
SIDE NOTE- THIS COMES UP LATER
Now, a month before this, JNSIL (Just No Sister Inlaw) TOLD us that she, JNFIL (Just No FatherInlaw) , and Grandma were going to visit us a week after we moved. Not just a little day trip but a whole 3 days. This wasn't even to help us unpack, but to celebrate JNSIL'S birthday. There were so many reasons this wouldn't work out. We would be unpacking settling in while DH would be starting classes. When we obviously told her that wouldn't work out. JNSIL, being JNSIL, started saying stuff like " What do you want us to do, just sit in our houses all alone?" As if there wasn't any other way for her to celebrate her birthday. She made it clear she was going to our area for her birthday whether or not we saw her. Fine with us- we just didn't want to be harassed the whole time about how terrible we are for not seeing them. In the end, we agreed to one dinner because DH really wanted to support JNFIL since his wedding anniversary with JNMIL was coming up (JNMIL just passed 3 months before).
Anyways, I was actually pretty stressed about us going to our hometown. When talking to my psychiatrist (who I see for ADHD medication), she actually prescribed me a sedative for when I'm around them.
DH assured me that this time would be different. He said we'd spend more time with my family and wouldn't be at the beck and call of his. We would still see his, but it would not be the sole focus. We even came up with a safe word for if the visits with his family became too much for me. This was actually recommended by my therapist. I actually started seeing him for some trauma I experienced while working at a school, and during our sessions, my inlaws came up and became a frequent topic.
Anyways, DH was true to his word, and we actually, for the most part, had a great time. This was impart because we spent limited time with his family. But the whole 4 interactions we did lead to some of the most drama filled experiences of my life.
To help things make sense, I'm just going to break this down by event.
1) Lunch.
So, halfway through our stay, DH and I went to have lunch with JNFIL and Grandma. It was nothing special, just a quiet lunch at a local fast food restaurant. It wasn't a planned lunch either, just a last-minute thing. Outside a few negative remarks about the LGBTQ+ community, it wasn't too bad. DH did ask about JNSIL but was told she would be sleeping, and nobody wanted to wake her (she works the night shift). Turns out not inviting her was a big mistake. And if you think she would just communicate her hurt feelings like a normal adult, then you haven't been paying attention.
2) Breakfast Hell/ Chicken Coop
That Saturday, JNSIL calls DH at 7 in the morning to invite us to breakfast in an hour. DH and I talked about this previously. I think calling this early is disrespectful. It's not just DH anymore. There's also me to consider. And I have trouble falling and staying asleep. Not to mention that call woke up our 2 dogs and cat who now want fed and to go to bathroom. Also, it'd be a lot easier on me if they planned these things out at least a day before. I'd know that I needed to go to bed earlier, and over all, it'd give me time to prepare for an early breakfast. I don't think that's too much to ask.
DH told JNSIL no, we would not be going to breakfast. He told her it was because it was too short notice and we had a late night. (We were up till 3 am watching all of the Lord Of the Rings and The Hobbit movies since DH hasn't seen them before) When she heard that we've Bern up late, she started acting like the mother of a middle schooler. She was demanding to know what we were doing up that late.( It took everything thing in me not to yell that we were having crazy unprecedented sex- just to piss her off more) DH did agree to a late breakfast at 10.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to go back to sleep. The animals were up, and for some reason, JNFIL was calling. I was just so tired I couldn't even remember what was going on. Plus, this was back in March. What I do remember was DH promising to ask his family not to call before 8:30am and not after 9pm. I would have preferred 9am-8pm out side of life or death emergencies but I was too tired to fight on this.
So, we're at the restaurant, and it was full of people. JNSIL, JNFIL, and Grandma were there. After a bit of small talk DH brought up how we would appreciate not getting calls before 8:30am or after 9pm. He absolutely brought up what we talked about earlier, like how its not just him anymore, and how it also wajes up thd animals. JNSIL made the excuse that they came up with the plan to have an early breakfast last night so that they could build a chicken coop for JNFIL before it got too hot.
Now I don't know if it was because I was tired or just done with all their bullshit, but for once I actually jumpped in. I asked if they new since last night then why didn't they call or shoot us a text then? JNSIL started making excuses and how DH never calls her and how DH would know these things if he called.
(Side note. 1) DH doesn't want to call her. He wants to interact with her as little as possible. 2) both me and DH have severe ADHD. So if we don't physically see you, we will completely forget you exist. Mt family is aware of and don't make a big deal or get offended by it. My little sister will actually text me constantly so that were always uptodate with eachother.)
Being done with all of it I just look JNSIL in the eyes and tell her that the phone works both ways. I guess that just set her off.
She slammed her fist on the table in this crowded restaurant. I don't know what she was trying to do maybe to try and scare me. The whole place got quite as she started screaming at me how DH never calls and how we didn't invite her to lunch with JNFIL and Grandma the other day.
Now I don't know what got into me but in a calm steady voice, I once again looked her dead in the eyes and said "The phone still works both ways." She started screaming again even louder before getting up and walking out side. I don't have a clue how the hell staff didn't kick us out and straight up ban us from the establishment.
Honestly, I desperately wanted to leave myself but didn't want to pass or walk by JNSIL. Nobody at the table exknowledged what the fuck just happened. DH went on to ask JNFIL about the chicken coop. When JNFIL asked about if we'd be helping putting it together, DH said he would but I couldn’t because I had plans to go shopping with my mom. I hadn't really got yo spend time with my mom yet since shes been working all week. JNFIL just goes "Oh sure, I can't blame her for not wanting to be around us" in reference to JNSIL'S outburst.
JNSIL came back inside and ate her strawberry pancakes. Acting as if nothing happened. And that's how I got guiltied into making a chicken coop. Which instead of helping like she claimed she would, JNSIL spent the whole afternoon in the AC getting a new tattoo.
This is getting longer than I expected and there is still so much that happened. I think I need to break this up into 2nd post.

Hi guys,
Thinking back, this is not my first Reddit post of a similar nature. I think all my life I’ve been addicted to things (weed, porn, “self help”, exercise). This is just one that’s been the most detrimental. I am a problem gambler and need help. I think I also need a place to just let it all out. Hopefully people will read and comment/resonate but I’m literally unable to concentrate at work because things are bad again. I apologize for it being long and you will all likely skip but if anyone reads, thank you.
I have a lot of trauma and am very lonely a lot of times. I had a bad experience being social and I think people pick up on my extreme awkwardness but they do not make me feel welcome, they come across judgy and I feel like I’m performing a dance begging for acceptance. So I spend even more time online (and have been like that since childhood) and don’t get much social interaction. This is relevant to how I got so sucked in so far.
Growing up, my parents were not only strict, but very strict about money. We were poor and they always told me to avoid debt but made it more about school debt (which I did avoid). They definitely talked about predatory credit card practices etc, but the one thing they did not ever instill in us was mitigating problem spending and gambling. Not just me but my mom and sister have really bad spending habits on food and unnecessary purchases…but I’m getting a bit ahead…
I didn’t get a credit card until a bit later, and didn’t have a job until about 2018-19 at 21. Even then, I barely used the CC and also barely drank. I hated gambling at a young age because I only know it as the casino in big cities with the excessive alcohol and lights and cigar smells I hated. Of course I was on my high horse at a younger age saying people were just “paying money to lose money and that made no sense”…My parents went to Vegas a lot, not weekly but every maybe 3-6 months because of comps. And us living close. I was mostly there just to watch my siblings and never went down to actually be in the casino. The vibes just always made me uncomfortable.
The one thing I did do was buy stocks. I remember briefly trying to understand the day trading stuff and I was so overwhelmed I just stuck to my traditional buying stocks and leaving them like a savings. Did good all the way until COVID, everything was down and I had to quit my job to move for school and was so burnt out from working (as “essential” while everyone else was not working) that I just took time off from work for like a year and a half. Spent all my stock market savings that was basically just all my money minus the interest made because of the COVID dip. I sold at the worst time possible but chose to do that instead of just getting work or even trying to learn about getting unemployment for my “mental health” LOL.
Right in my senior year of college I had a roommate who used a draft fantasy sports book. Never knew about money lines or anything about sports period,because I was too lazy to figure out sports rules, let alone betting line math…but I wanted to be accepted as a man and thought sports would be a good way to learn and build friendships…and “investing” money into it seemed like a worthwhile trade.
He explained oveunder props. Easy as cake. You think they’ll go over a certain line and you pick that. Even easier to upload your card and make an account. I thought it would be harmless…
I made one, did okay, but no crazy bets just $30-50 MAX like every couple of weeks. Trying to get into sports and fit in with the boys…. Didn’t care too much about losing $20 here and there and that’s my problem…
I then bring this up to a classmate in our data science class in 2022 wondering if there’s ways people can track player data…who tells me about “tailing” people who post their player picks online. Never knew about that/that there was already a market (bc I was new to sports).
He tells me about a guy he follows. Guy has a site with “the best prop data”. Clearly know this other guy is just selling his services but the service seems so beneficial. “Best hit rates in the game!” “No one has data like this”. Straight snake oil salesman tactics and I’m so aware of it, but it’s like I just didn’t care. Of course it’s just like ESPN data all on a histogram and not that revolutionary, and it’s like I already know I’m signing up for getting played but I just accept it(likely because I have settled for a lot in my life). I get a membership. I think oh I’ll make a ROI worth the cost of the membership and more! Right….
That was in about March-ish I think of last year. (Yea it was, because I specifically remember the old classmate asking me about March madness…). From March to June I had losses, but nothing super horrible, I didn’t really track it but I had never spent more than $100 max and probably only spent around $175 a month which was about the rate of all my subscriptions combined. but around this time I had also just had a very traumatic experience getting robbed and abandoned drunkenly during a party on campus. Somehow I made it back from the party to my house and allegedly my roommate helped me vomit/clean up but I woke up to my wallet and phone gone.
I felt violated, confused because I couldn’t remember certain events, sad that my “friends” didn’t even have my back at certain points. I was angry and really embarrassed and depressed and felt like I couldn’t trust ANYONE around me. Of course, them feeling second hand embarrassment from me, stopped inviting me out and our interactions got so awkward after that. I felt like now my reputation was just that drunk idiot who did god knows what while blacked out. And didn’t really have a lot of support.
My gambling got worse, but I didn’t make that much money so I also didn’t really bet that much either? It’s kind of a blur around that time now and I don’t really remember but I don’t think I was on the group chats/apps nearly as much as I am now. I also deleted them around graduation time because I needed to focus and I needed to save $$$ for my move out.
Fast forward I was in okay-ish shape: was able to get an apartment and higher paying job…but my relationship was strained with my now ex girlfriend. It was bad. I redownloaded the apps during this time. I was trying to plan out our future and she was not helping me. I was basically doing everything myself in the relationship and felt like my “investment” in our relationship wasn’t going anywhere…as she was not communicating and not helping me plan, so i began using that money for bets.
Initially it was “it’s just for fun now that I have more income! I can afford it now” then it was “oh it will be like a side hustle”.
But I got worse. I felt so disconnected and burnt out from my new job in finance, also very numb to large amounts of $$ on screens all day that I started betting hundreds daily. Then tie in disconnected from my ex and now had no friends. I was numb and needed to feel something, and alcohol was not enough. I’d drink here and there but never enough to get completely trashed like before because I was scared of that.
Now remember the subscription? This sub comes with a “chat room” FULL of a bunch of enabling children and their ring leader who makes the datasets. I used to respect what the guy does but I have so many problems with his business model: advertising slightly over 50/50 guesses as a worthwhile investment, getting his data out 5 minutes before games start (obviously so he can make his picks on his own first and then tell the followers after), calling his own patrons idiots and trying to make it sound like he’s the best gambler in the world and that if we’re losing we are just “not doing it right” when he’s really using $100,000s of dollars from subscribers to make his for fun bets while people desperately cling to some sort of “mathematical explanation” for why Alpha McThree is a better pick than Johnny Appleseeds.
I digress again. Basically there’s people around my age (20s) older (40s) and possibly younger all in these chats enabling each other to bet. You feel rushed because you have to “beat the prop bumps” when they move the lines. You feel constantly on edge and that anxiety feels good because of the potential payout, and then horrible when you’re off by one or two players and lose everything.
I became obsessed. It is probably the combination of the rush, the colors, the screen lighting in a more comfortable way to social media…the people encouraging you or congratulating you or worse bonding over shared loss, you start to feel in community.
Mind you, the community itself was toxic. I am part of the LGBT community but never disclosed, and there is so much homophobia and transphobia, sometimes even racism (I mean I get that I’m positing this to Reddit LOL) but it’s just weird to me as a POC who is part of this community to see all that stuff everyday and then say those are my people….and to pay a subscription to be apart of it…it felt like a weird digital fraternity. It felt “cool” to have a badge for my sports book, for people to recognize my nickname, to see the same names everyday, it felt like routine.
Everyday I’d wake up and bet. When I got COVID in December the amounts doubled and I was spending $500 in minutes instead of spread across days. I didn’t even care anymore. I’d keep playing and eventually lose it. Every single time like “I’m just gonna play enough to make my money back and pay off some of the debt and then delete everything!”
It never happens. I’m still $6k in debt, am -$230 overdraft and am now doing the one thing I really said would never do: ask my dad for help. I can’t concentrate on work because I’m so overwhelmed. I just got paid, still two weeks left and I have absolutely no money anywhere. And since I haven’t even paid my mom back the first time I am worried about asking again.
My dad doesn’t really reach out, but he texted me the other day. So instead of responding I just sent him a screenshot of my overdraft and told him I had to pay my apartment security deposit (which is true, technically) but it is really the stupid $600 bet that put me overdraft. I basically paid X amount on my credit card, didn’t see it post, told myself “maybe I forgot to do it” and said I had enough for the bets, lost three idiotic bets and then both the misses and the CC payment posted.
I feel like the “bending” of the truth will l start piling up and that things will stop checking out. He’s probably wondering how I’m overdraft and can connect two and two together (he’s seen my screenshots of bets when I was up, and asked me when I get paid and I’m too scared to say I got paid TWO DAYS AGO and am out -$2000) so I’m even more embarrassed and feel like I’m disappointing everyone.
I already owe my mom, and they aren’t even that rich at all so I feel horrible taking their money trying to pay myself back and then ending up back here again. But I am equally worried of them going nuclear and me being trapped back home/having to give up control of my bank account bc of it.
I feel stuck at my job because I need it to pay off my debt and save money/pay bills. I hate it so much, but need to stay here because of how bad the market is and I think dealing with the stress enables my behavior. I feel worse because I should have $20k saved up by now but instead I’m now total down -$26k. (The 20 I would’ve had saved plus my credit card).
So it’s just my lack of control and unnecessary purchase staring me in the face. Every day. While it takes me weeks to make even a dent in my debt. I literally have nothing in my fridge right now. I don’t know what I’m going to eat next week. And throughout all this my ex and I still talk, she still buys me lunch, she is a saint but our dynamic would not work
I’m meeting with my therapist today, and I contemplate either getting a new one specializing in addiction or stopping constantly one because of the cost but two because I’ll talk about it but I feel like I’m not even changing or doing the work…
I feel alone trying to get out of this hole and like this debt will follow me forever. I also wonder if I feel like I’m addicted to the wallowing too? Like now I have a reason to stay depressed.
How do I get better? Is there even any hope for me? I feel like I’m messing my life up and constantly at the mercy of something else and not myself… people around me have cars and solo apartments and I’m living check to check in debt with no purpose. How do I deal with stress?

Has anyone here had to take out additional loans outside of federal loans? The school I'll be attending starting in September is full-time and in-person in HCOL area. Unless I'm mistaken it looks like I was awarded 2/3 of what the cost of tuition alone is going to be. I have enough saved up to cover the rest of the tuition and the cost of living for the first year but I'm concerned about the following years and really don't want to have to dip into my retirement for that unless I absolutely have to. Has anyone had any experience with a similar situation?

English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in advance. About one and a half years ago I, 18F, had a sort of “situationship” that lasted about half a year with an amazing girl, now 20F, but unfortunately we ended up having a falling out and I don’t know how to fix it, or if I even should.
We meet on a dating app about one and a half years ago and instantly clicked. Coincidentally we went to the same school and we met up every single weekend, we always spent time together, had cute dates, and she was honestly just all around an amazing, sweet and considerate person. Neither of us ever had the balls to make our situation into an official relationship, so we never officially were together, but besides there not being a real title to it that’s basically what we had. However this is very easy for me to see in retrospect but at the time i was still very unsure about how she even really felt about me, which is important for the story. I’ve known pretty early on that I’m a lesbian so being in this “situationship” with such an amazing girl was like a dream come true, but there was only one problem for me, I wasn’t attracted to her sexually. Don’t get me wrong of course I could see and recognize that she’s objectively beautiful, she is such a pretty person and I always thought of her like that! But every time I tried thinking about kissing her or doing something sexual with her I never liked the thought. And before anyone tries to tell me that I might not be a lesbian, no, I know I’m only interested in being with women and the thought of a relationship with a man, let alone anything sexual is even worse and absolutely unimaginable to me. No, I think I really did/ do have feelings for her but I couldn’t bring myself to want to kiss her. So I decided persusing whatever we had was extremely unfair to the both of us, and I gradually started pulling back. I canceled on meetups and started distancing myself from her, because no matter how much i liked her, if I wasn’t attracted to her that wouldn’t be fair towards her either. I never told her the reason for this because I felt like such an ass and I thought since iI still wasn’t completely sure if she even really liked me back and we weren’t in a relationship that it wouldn’t be that bad. Eventually this is how we fell out of contact and now a year later I regret it so much. During our time apart I went through a lot of development personally and both grew a lot and figured a lot of things out, including that I might be something like asexual. I’m still a bit confused when it comes to that part of me but it might be an explanation to make sense of the things I’m feeling and figured out about myself. And now I feel even worse, because now I’m aware that I would’ve loved a relationship with her and that she would’ve been anything anyone could ask for and that just because of my asexuality that shouldn’t have meant not to pursue that, but at the time I had no idea. I’m scared I really hurt her by pulling back and that maybe all her friends think bad about me, that now to her I’m just a story of a shitty person she used to see. I don’t know if I should reach out to her again, try to build up contact again, and if yes how.

English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in advance. About one and a half years ago I, 18F, had a sort of “situationship” that lasted about half a year with an amazing girl, now 20F, but unfortunately we ended up having a falling out and I don’t know how to fix it, or if I even should.
We meet on a dating app about one and a half years ago and instantly clicked. Coincidentally we went to the same school and we met up every single weekend, we always spent time together, had cute dates, and she was honestly just all around an amazing, sweet and considerate person. Neither of us ever had the balls to make our situation into an official relationship, so we never officially were together, but besides there not being a real title to it that’s basically what we had. However this is very easy for me to see in retrospect but at the time i was still very unsure about how she even really felt about me, which is important for the story. I’ve known pretty early on that I’m a lesbian so being in this “situationship” with such an amazing girl was like a dream come true, but there was only one problem for me, I wasn’t attracted to her sexually. Don’t get me wrong of course I could see and recognize that she’s objectively beautiful, she is such a pretty person and I always thought of her like that! But every time I tried thinking about kissing her or doing something sexual with her I never liked the thought. And before anyone tries to tell me that I might not be a lesbian, no, I know I’m only interested in being with women and the thought of a relationship with a man, let alone anything sexual is even worse and absolutely unimaginable to me. No, I think I really did/ do have feelings for her but I couldn’t bring myself to want to kiss her. So I decided persusing whatever we had was extremely unfair to the both of us, and I gradually started pulling back. I canceled on meetups and started distancing myself from her, because no matter how much i liked her, if I wasn’t attracted to her that wouldn’t be fair towards her either. I never told her the reason for this because I felt like such an ass and I thought since iI still wasn’t completely sure if she even really liked me back and we weren’t in a relationship that it wouldn’t be that bad. Eventually this is how we fell out of contact and now a year later I regret it so much. During our time apart I went through a lot of development personally and both grew a lot and figured a lot of things out, including that I might be something like asexual. I’m still a bit confused when it comes to that part of me but it might be an explanation to make sense of the things I’m feeling and figured out about myself. And now I feel even worse, because now I’m aware that I would’ve loved a relationship with her and that she would’ve been anything anyone could ask for and that just because of my asexuality that shouldn’t have meant not to pursue that, but at the time I had no idea. I’m scared I really hurt her by pulling back and that maybe all her friends think bad about me, that now to her I’m just a story of a shitty person she used to see. I don’t know if I should reach out to her again, try to build up contact again, and if yes how.

Hi I am 22m and I look below avg and i am 5 "6 and i am currently in my final year college, this is regarding my social life I guess.. Since childhood I grow up with somewhat strict parents, they didn't allowed me to go out of house to hangout with someone in my neighborhood so I was alone most of the time, their reason for that was I was in a prospectus school and the kids in my locality will "spoil me", so I became an introvert completely and they used to ask like why don't you talk to your cousins and others ironically. BTW I was not completely friendless I too had friends too. It went on till I was like 13yrs old when my school shuffled classes and I met with some new students especially new girls😅😅 since I was very lonely since childhood I was addicted to porn and my confidence to confront girls was very very low at that time and I somehow open up to them and I had fun like good friends but have never been in a relationship at that time(which I wanted to be) and after school I thought we would continue to hang out but, no the thing was I can talk face to face comfortably but I can't text that much and not good at online chatting so, many of my friends at that time around 2017 Facebook was very popular so many use to chat throug that and I was not using Facebook and boom back to being lonely again. At that time I picked habbit of reading books/novels and I Bing read Harry Potter, and after that I went to boys jr college in my country we have 10+2+3/4 education system so I became very lonely there and my female interactions was close to 0 and I didn't hangout much with boys due to I was depressed thar I lost my school friends and then my communication skills went from 5/10 to 2/10, after 2 yrs I took computer science as clg degree which is of 4yrs in my country.
I was excited that I will try to make friends and atleast have 1 relationship, I made a group of friends in which my crush was also there and out of the blue I confessed my feelings to my crush but, she had a bf and I said sorry and never asked her again but her bf got to know I confessed and we had a fight and she completely stopped talking to me and because of that incident whole group stopped talking to my I was very much broken at that time it was just begging of 2nd year and it was just days before my birthday I was completely lonely again but boys of my group stayed with me supporting me and were there to talk and help I am grateful to them for that.
I tried apologizing but they were not talking to me no matter what the final breaking point was I was organizing a clg event and my friends group were also participating in some activities with other students were also there, during lunch we sat together and we were about to eat and my friend told me that " bro sorry but girls are not comfortable you sitting with us" I said ok and took my lunch and left the clg, went out and eat my lunch crying and asking my self "I am I that bad?" I am I a creep?" I was very insecure about my looks and my parents were not proud of my height cause my father is 5"10 and he tought I would atleast be his height, due to this he started forcing me to do all height growing exercises always saying me that short people won't be that successful in life and mixed with this I completely broke I stopped going to clg and locking my self in my room and addicted to porn more often due to which my grades are still low after some days I decided i will not make my self miserable I went to clg to keep up with studies but I used to see them daily and it felt miserable during that time I made one of my classmate friend and he is my best friend still he managed to help me out of depression and I kind of felt better.

I think it would be great if gossip girl was revealed to be a background character, that was hidden in plain sight.
Example: the actress who played Gorgina was on Buffy the vampire slayer before Gossip girl.
and on that show, starting from season 1 -3, there was a character who was just in the background. He didn’t say much or interact with the characters but he was always there. The main characters (Buffy and friends) would walk by him at the soda machines , or we would see the popular kids bumping into him saying.. oops sorry didn’t even notice you there.. etc
He was always just there.
Then at the end of season 3, they realized he was one of those, “nice guy - whose not really nice” and he went on a rant that he secret hated everyone in the school, he hated their rich charming lives, he hated them for being popular, and others for not even noticing them or knowing his name, so he wanted to get back at everyone.
Would have been great if gossip girl did something like that. A random extra that was always in the background standing alone but was always on camera.
Do you think that would be a good ending?

I'm 23F and I study abroad. Whenever I have some free time from school (I just graduated from my bachelor's therefore everyone knew I would be free) my mom wants me back home for the whole period.
And therefore I'm in my home town at my parents house for the summer. My mother bought the plane tickets and I had no choice but to come, if I try saying I would like some time by myself abroad, she makes a lot of drama and calls me ungrateful and much more. I'm extremely unhappy here as it reminds me of the life I had before moving. I had almost no friends because my mother was very controlling and I couldn't go out to parties (those my classmates went) and spent pretty much all the time at home. And the same is happening now.
My parents pretty much hate each other and on top of all I have to be in the middle of this war zone. My mother has no friends or hobbies and it seems like I'm her whole life- she does nothing while I'm away (for example she waits until I visit to go to a new restaurant etc) and while I'm here she's on me all the time. She sleeps in my room and she has a camera in the kitchen/outside area "to watch the house while she's away" but that I'm almost sure she spies on me with.
Last times I came I brought my boyfriend with me but it ended very badly. He did not do everything like my parents want (I pretty much have to please them 24/7 and he couldn't fake that) and we had no time alone, which ended up in conflicts. My mother also complained I gave him all the attention, but I was almost ignoring him to be with her all the time and still that wasn't enough, so I suspect no matter how kind of a person he is, it won't be enough for her because she thinks they're stealing me from her. Needless to say this time I came alone and will be here until the end of august (she bought tickets for a day before my classes start).
I have a feeling of nothing to do (tho I brought many books, have games on my laptop and netflix) and that nothing is exciting. It's way too hot to go out during the day to, for example, play PokémonGo, something I used to do a lot with my bf before coming here. And if I go out for a walk, my mother or father would most likely come along. How can I stay sane during this time? What can I do to make the best out of these months? I feel like I'm wasting my time but at the same time I know how important it is for my parents that I'm here so I don't want to be looking sad the whole time.
Thanks very much for reading this and for the help :)