I have dyshidrotic eczema on my hands and have flareups pretty regularly. I know that a combination of drying my hands fully after washing + applying lotion, and sleeping with cotton gloves with a cream treatment, combined that will usually clear it up within a few weeks.
I just get frustrated because I'm trying to eat healthy, exercise, do my job at work, keep my house clean, manage my personal relationships, maintain daily hygeine routines, etc, and the hand care just slips through the cracks :(
I feel like I do a deep focus on clearing my eczema for a week or so, and when it's almost gone i turn my attention to other things in my life and then it just comes back again :(
Thanks for letting me rant, I figured people here would understand.

Unlocking Email Automation in Excel VBA

Excel's versatility extends beyond data analysis and reporting, delving into the realm of automation that simplifies tedious tasks, such as email communications directly from your worksheets. The integration of Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) within Excel allows users to create custom functions, enabling the automation of creating and sending emails without leaving the comfort of their spreadsheet environment. This capability is particularly beneficial for professionals who rely on timely communication and data distribution, ensuring that reports, notifications, and updates are dispatched directly from their workbooks with minimal manual intervention.
However, navigating the VBA landscape to automate email operations can present challenges, particularly in ensuring the new mail item is prominently displayed in front of the worksheet and is sent after the contact is selected. Addressing this issue not only enhances the user experience by making email management more efficient within Excel but also leverages the full potential of Excel's automation capabilities. By streamlining these processes, users can focus more on their core tasks, knowing that their communication needs are handled efficiently and effectively.

Command	Description
CreateObject("Outlook.Application")	Creates an instance of Outlook Application, allowing VBA to control Outlook.
.CreateItem(0)	Creates a new email item.
.Display	Displays the email item to the user in Outlook.
.To, .CC, .BCC	Specifies the recipient(s) of the email in the To, CC, and BCC fields.
.Subject	Defines the subject of the email.
.Body	Sets the body content of the email.
.Send	Sends the email item.

Expanding Email Automation with Excel VBA

Delving deeper into the integration of Excel VBA for email automation unveils a powerful toolset at the disposal of users aiming to streamline their communication workflows directly from their spreadsheets. This capability is not just about sending basic emails; it's about creating a highly personalized and dynamic communication channel. Through VBA, Excel can interact with Outlook to manipulate various aspects of email creation, from adding attachments to customizing the email body with data directly sourced from the spreadsheet. This level of automation can significantly enhance productivity, especially for those dealing with customer inquiries, periodic reports, or regular updates that require personalization based on spreadsheet data.
Moreover, the automation process extends to handling responses. By automating email operations, users can set up rules within Outlook to sort incoming emails based on specific criteria, such as sender, subject, or keywords. This can be particularly useful for managing feedback or responses to the emails sent through Excel VBA. Such automation ensures that the workflow is not just one-way but creates a loop of communication that is both efficient and manageable. Implementing these advanced features requires a good understanding of both Excel VBA and Outlook's capabilities, highlighting the importance of integrating these powerful tools to maximize efficiency and effectiveness in professional communication.

Automating Outlook Emails from Excel VBA

VBA in Excel

 Dim outlookApp As Object Dim mailItem As Object Set outlookApp = CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Set mailItem = outlookApp.CreateItem(0) With mailItem .Display .To = "recipient@example.com" .CC = "ccrecipient@example.com" .BCC = "bccrecipient@example.com" .Subject = "Subject of the Email" .Body = "Body of the email" ' Add attachments and other email item properties here End With End Sub 

Enhancing Communication through Excel VBA

Integrating email automation within Excel using Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) significantly boosts the efficiency of communication processes, particularly in professional settings where time is of the essence. This integration allows for seamless creation, customization, and sending of emails directly from Excel, leveraging data within spreadsheets to personalize messages. The automation goes beyond mere convenience, enabling users to send bulk emails tailored to each recipient, schedule emails for future delivery, and even trigger emails based on specific events or conditions met within the spreadsheet. Such capabilities are invaluable for marketing campaigns, customer service follow-ups, and internal communication within organizations, ensuring that the right messages reach the right people at the right time.
Furthermore, Excel VBA's email automation can be enhanced with advanced features such as dynamic attachment inclusion, where files relevant to the spreadsheet's data or analysis are automatically attached to the outgoing emails. Users can also implement error handling to manage issues that may arise during the email sending process, such as invalid email addresses or network problems, ensuring that all communications are delivered successfully. With these advanced functionalities, Excel VBA becomes not just a tool for data management but a comprehensive solution for managing professional communications, reducing manual effort, and increasing the reliability and effectiveness of email interactions.

FAQs on Email Automation with Excel VBA

1. Question: Can Excel VBA send emails without Outlook?
2. Answer: Typically, Excel VBA uses Outlook for email automation, but it's possible to send emails via other email clients or SMTP servers with additional scripting and configuration.
3. Question: How do I attach files to an automated email in Excel VBA?
4. Answer: Use the .Attachments.Add method within your VBA script to attach files to your email. You can specify the file path directly in the code.
5. Question: Can I automate emails based on cell values in Excel?
6. Answer: Yes, by using VBA scripts, you can trigger email sending based on specific cell values or changes in the data within your spreadsheet.
7. Question: How do I ensure my automated emails are not marked as spam?
8. Answer: Ensure your emails have a clear subject line, avoid excessive links or attachments, and send emails through recognized email servers. Personalization can also help reduce the risk of being marked as spam.
9. Question: Is it possible to send HTML formatted emails with Excel VBA?
10. Answer: Yes, you can set the .HTMLBody property of the MailItem object to send emails in HTML format, allowing for rich text formatting, images, and links.
11. Question: Can automated emails include dynamic data from Excel?
12. Answer: Absolutely. You can dynamically insert data from your Excel sheets into the email's body or subject line, customizing each message based on the spreadsheet's contents.
13. Question: How do I schedule emails to be sent at a later time using Excel VBA?
14. Answer: Direct scheduling within VBA is complex; however, you can create the email and then use Outlook's Delay Delivery feature to specify a sending time.
15. Question: Can I send emails to multiple recipients using Excel VBA?
16. Answer: Yes, you can list multiple email addresses in the .To, .CC, or .BCC properties, separated by semicolons, to send emails to multiple recipients.
17. Question: How do I handle errors during the email sending process in VBA?
18. Answer: Implement error handling routines in your VBA script to catch and respond to errors, such as using Try...Catch blocks or checking for specific error codes.
19. Question: Is it necessary to have programming knowledge to automate emails with Excel VBA?
20. Answer: Basic programming knowledge is helpful for customizing and troubleshooting your VBA scripts, but many resources and templates are available to help beginners.

Mastering Excel VBA for Efficient Email Management

Excel VBA's email automation presents a transformative approach to managing communications, allowing users to leverage the powerful features of Excel to streamline their email-related tasks. By integrating VBA scripts, professionals can automate the sending of personalized emails, manage attachments, and even handle incoming responses, all within the familiar environment of Excel. This not only saves valuable time but also reduces the risk of errors associated with manual email handling. Furthermore, the ability to customize email content based on spreadsheet data ensures that communications are relevant and timely. As we continue to seek efficiencies in our professional workflows, the role of Excel VBA in automating and enhancing email communications cannot be overstated. It represents a significant step forward in how we manage data-driven communication, providing a robust toolset for professionals looking to optimize their email workflows and enhance their productivity.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/excel/automating-email-operations-in-excel-with-vba

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

Single. Paid bi-monthly salary. 2024 tax year.
I've calculated:

1. Total projected fed income tax liability for year (no FICA/state) = X
2. Total expected fed withholding for year = Y

Y - X = $2557.68, so overpayment expected and big refund
Clearly the IRS withholding calculator prompts you to enter the appropriate strange numbers into W4 Step 3 (dependents and other credits) and Step 4 (other income, deductions, extra withholding), i've heard some folks get prompted to increase their other income and enter deductions, some are prompted to enter dependents (when they have none), etc.
Anyway, I'm shocked there is no instructions on simple numbers to enter to minimize any refund...perhaps because Uncle Sam likes interest free loans and it is a "cool if you do but we're not gonna hold your hand to do so because it reduces our loans".
Here is what I am thinking of doing, let me know if incorrect: 4b 'deductions' is calculated from a worksheet in which you enter a number that is subtracted by the personal exemption $14600.
So if I put $2557.68 into line 4b, would this adjust the paycheck withholdings appropriately for the tax year? I'm assuming this line is for the tax year and not per paycheck...although given that 4c extra withholding is per pay period maybe this is not true?
Appreciate any tax accountant advice especially since stuff like Intuit Quickbooks is so ubiquitous and everyone just uses it to punch in numbers.

I have a student who lost their mother to violence over a year ago. They are also LD.
I have another student who lost their dad to a heart attack about 2 months ago.
The first student doesn't try, doesn't ask for help, doesn't even put on answer on a worksheet. When I approach and say, hey, how.can I help you get started, they just suck their thumb (6th grade) and mumble, no thanks.
The other student missed about 2 weeks, came back and made all the work up and had an A. First student has an F bc they have turned in literally nothing.
I am torn. I totally get where first student is traumatized. As was 2nd student because there are multiple issues (health) with their remaining parent, whose health is on the decline rapidly.
For me, 1st student should be able to grieve, but understand that doing zero work does not help them. I have tried, guidance counselor has tried, and on site therapist has tried. 1st student just refuses.
Should I let 1st student fail for refusing help? I personally feel like if I just pass them, they'll get into that mindset that they'll be "successful" with zero effort, and the world is going to be a horrible place for them when they go out into it. Can't read. Can barely write, and gives zero effort. All o can think is homelessness, abusive relationships bc of financial needs...I know you get what I'm trying to say, so I'll leave it at that.
To clarify, have contacted Dad with concerns and he assures me he can take 1st student to the library to finish assignments. Student 1 has come back on Monday with no finished work. Talked to dad, he said he took student 1 to the library and put them on the computer (where my work is posted), but said they just wouldn't do anything.
Do I fail student 1? I've followed all the IEP requirements and have gone out of my way to assist them.
I'm really torn. Thanks, and please be kind.

It took me a while to realize that storing an Excel spreadsheet on the personal version of OneDrive creates problems if you use Power Query. I have a spreadsheet with multiple worksheets and I use Power Query to create a combined table of data of those multiple worksheets. I love that PQ can easily do that!
Within my spreadsheet, I have lots of pivot tables that reference my power query table. Unfortunately, Power Query fails to refresh (error shown below) if I have my spreadsheet stored in a OneDrive folder. The only workaround I have heard is to routinely copy the spreadsheet to another file and have that other file be the data-source for Power Query.
I have started to write a basic VBA macro to copy my current file to another name to help automate this. Has anyone else run into this or written a macro related to it?
SAMPLE ERROR: "datasource.error: The process cannot access the file (xxx) because it is being used by another process“.

The War Scroll, also known as the "War of the Sons of Light Against the Sons of Darkness," is a unique text within the Dead Sea Scrolls that portrays an apocalyptic battle between the forces of good (Sons of Light) and evil (Sons of Darkness). This scroll provides insight into both historical and symbolic elements.
Historical Accuracy:
The War Scroll, while containing detailed military tactics and an epic narrative of the ultimate confrontation, doesn't explicitly reference any specific historical event or timeframe. Some scholars believe it could be a product of the community's anticipation of a future messianic conflict or a reflection of their own community's struggles against opposing forces during their time. Interpreting the historical accuracy of the scroll often involves exploring the context of the Qumran community and the turbulent times in which they lived.
Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:
The War Scroll goes beyond a mere description of a physical battle. It portrays a cosmic conflict between the forces of light and darkness, reflecting not just a literal warfare but also a symbolic and spiritual struggle. The text emphasizes righteousness, divine intervention, and the victory of good over evil.
Within the study guide, activities and exercises could involve dissecting the symbolic elements present in the War Scroll, exploring the deeper meanings behind the battle tactics and the metaphysical implications of the conflict. Understanding the symbolism could involve group discussions, comparative analysis with other ancient texts with similar themes, and exploring the impact of this symbolic representation on the community's beliefs and practices.
Here are a few activities and exercises to explore the symbolism and historical context of the War Scroll from the Dead Sea Scrolls:

1. Symbolism Analysis:

Provide excerpts from the War Scroll and encourage participants to identify and discuss the symbolic meanings behind elements like the "Sons of Light" and the "Sons of Darkness," various weapons, and the strategies outlined for battle. Group discussions or written reflections can help participants explore the deeper layers of meaning.

1. Comparative Analysis:

Compare the War Scroll's themes with similar apocalyptic or eschatological texts from different cultures or religions, such as apocalyptic passages in the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible or apocalyptic texts from other ancient traditions. Create worksheets or discussion prompts to highlight similarities and differences in themes, symbols, and beliefs about cosmic battles.

1. Historical Context Exploration:

Present historical information about the era when the Dead Sea Scrolls were written. Discuss the political, social, and religious climate of that time, including the turmoil in the region, to understand how these factors might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll. Encourage participants to consider the possible motivations behind the text's creation.

1. Creative Interpretation:

Encourage creative expression by asking participants to create artwork, poems, or short stories inspired by the themes and imagery found in the War Scroll. This exercise allows individuals to engage more deeply with the symbolic elements and interpret them in their own unique ways.

1. Role-playing or Debates:
   Organize a role-playing activity where participants take on the roles of "Sons of Light" and "Sons of Darkness," debating their ideologies, motivations, and strategies for the ultimate battle. This exercise helps in understanding differing perspectives and interpreting the conflicts presented in the scroll.
   

Interpretative variations regarding the river's crossing in different ancient texts reflect the unique religious, philosophical, and cultural perspectives embedded within these narratives. These differences in interpretation offer insights into diverse worldviews and varying theological frameworks present in ancient texts:

1. Mesopotamian Context:

• In Mesopotamian mythology and literature, the Euphrates River often held symbolic significance as a boundary between the known civilized world and the wild, unknown realms. The crossing of the Euphrates could symbolize journeys into unexplored territories or transitions between order and chaos. This perspective reflects a worldview rooted in the physical and geographical division of lands.

1. Biblical Context:

• In biblical texts, such as those in the Book of Revelation or Old Testament prophecies, the crossing of the Euphrates carries eschatological significance. It may represent a divine intervention or a decisive moment in God's plan, marking the commencement of apocalyptic events. This interpretation aligns with the biblical narrative of divine judgment and the unfolding of God's ultimate purpose in history.

1. Gnostic or Apocryphal Context:

• Gnostic or apocryphal texts often interpret the river's crossing as a symbolic liberation or awakening. It might signify the release of spiritual forces or the ascent to higher consciousness, reflecting a philosophical perspective emphasizing spiritual enlightenment and liberation from material constraints.

1. Greco-Roman Interpretation:

• In Greco-Roman literature, crossings of rivers were often associated with mythological journeys or transitions between realms. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize a transition from mundane existence to a realm of mystery or spiritual significance, reflecting a cultural perspective rooted in mythology and cosmology.

These varied interpretations highlight the richness and diversity of religious, philosophical, and cultural frameworks present in ancient texts. The river's crossing serves as a flexible symbol that adapts to different narratives, conveying themes of transition, judgment, liberation, or cosmic transformation based on the unique perspectives of each tradition.
Exploring these interpretative variations allows participants to appreciate the complexity of symbolism within ancient texts and provides insights into how different cultures and belief systems interpreted common motifs like the river Euphrates. It showcases the intricate interplay between religious, philosophical, and cultural elements shaping the symbolism and theological implications embedded in these narratives.
The river Euphrates, a prominent geographic feature in ancient texts, embodies universal themes that transcend specific cultural contexts. Identifying these universal themes helps reveal shared human concepts of transition, boundaries, and transformative events across diverse ancient traditions:

1. Threshold and Transition:

• The Euphrates often symbolizes a boundary between known and unknown territories. Its crossing represents a transition from one state to another, signifying a pivotal moment of change or passage. This theme of crossing a threshold echoes the human experience of transitions in life, moving from familiar to unfamiliar realms.

1. Boundary and Separation:

• As a geographical boundary, the Euphrates signifies separation between distinct territories or civilizations. This concept of demarcation resonates with universal human experiences of setting boundaries, delineating spaces, or marking divisions between different aspects of life.

1. Transformative Events:

• Crossing the Euphrates is often associated with cosmic or transformative events in ancient texts. This universal theme reflects the human fascination with the concept of epochal change, cosmic upheavals, or moments of divine intervention that reshape the course of history.

1. Symbol of Power and Control:

• The river might represent a symbol of power, control, or geopolitical significance. Crossing it could signify shifts in dominance, challenges to established authority, or the assertion of influence. This theme resonates with human narratives of power struggles and shifts in societal dynamics.

1. Metaphor for Spiritual Journeys:

• Across cultures, rivers are often used metaphorically to represent spiritual journeys or quests. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize the pursuit of enlightenment, the passage to higher realms of understanding, or the quest for spiritual transformation.

These universal themes associated with the river Euphrates highlight fundamental aspects of the human experience—transitions, boundaries, transformative events, power dynamics, and spiritual journeys. The river's symbolism in ancient texts speaks to shared human aspirations, struggles, and beliefs that transcend cultural boundaries and resonate across different epochs and civilizations.
By identifying and discussing these universal themes, participants gain a deeper appreciation for the profound symbolism embedded in ancient texts and recognize the timeless relevance of concepts such as transition, boundaries, and transformative events in shaping human narratives and aspirations.

1. Historical Context:

• What historical events or societal conditions might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll?
  
• How does the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contribute to our understanding of this text's significance?
  

1. Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:

• How does the War Scroll use symbolism to convey spiritual or cosmic themes?
  
• What esoteric wisdom or deeper spiritual insights can be derived from the portrayal of cosmic conflict and divine intervention within the text?
  

1. Comparative Analysis:

• Compare the themes and symbolism of the War Scroll with other apocalyptic texts from different cultures (e.g., Book of Revelation, The Book of Daniel). What common motifs or differences in interpretation do you observe?

1. Parallelism in Biblical Texts:

• Explore connections between the War Scroll and other biblical texts. How does the language, imagery, or themes in the War Scroll intersect with passages from the Hebrew Bible or New Testament?

1. Community Beliefs and Practices:

• How might the apocalyptic expectations depicted in the War Scroll have influenced the beliefs and practices of the community that produced it?
  
• Discuss the impact of such intense anticipation of cosmic conflict on communal life and religious rituals within the community.
  

1. Cultural Significance of Cosmic Battles:

• Across various ancient cultures, why do you think depictions of cosmic battles and eschatological events were significant? What might these narratives represent in a broader cultural context?

1. Interpretive Variations and Unique Perspectives:

• Explore the diverse interpretations of specific passages or symbols within the War Scroll. How do different scholars or traditions interpret these elements, and what underlying factors might influence their interpretations?

1. Personal Reflection and Modern Relevance:

• Reflect on how the themes of cosmic conflict, righteousness, and spiritual warfare in the War Scroll might resonate in contemporary society or personal belief systems.

1. Theological and Philosophical Implications:

• Discuss the theological and philosophical implications of a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness. How does this theme intersect with broader philosophical inquiries or theological doctrines?

1. Literary and Symbolic Analysis:

- Analyze the narrative structure and symbolic elements present in specific passages of the War Scroll. How do these elements contribute to the text's overarching themes and meanings? 

These study questions aim to provoke critical thinking, promote in-depth exploration of themes, encourage comparative analysis, and stimulate discussions on the multifaceted nature of the War Scroll's content and its significance within ancient and contemporary contexts.

1. Archaeological and Linguistic Analysis:

- How does the physical condition of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, impact our understanding of their preservation and historical context? - Discuss the linguistic peculiarities or unique textual features found within the War Scroll and their implications for translation and interpretation. 

1. Apocalyptic Expectations and Messianic Concepts:

- Explore the portrayal of messianic figures or anticipated saviors within the War Scroll. How do these concepts align with or diverge from contemporary expectations of a messianic figure in other ancient texts or religious traditions? 

1. Impact of Apocalyptic Literature:

- Analyze the enduring influence of apocalyptic literature, such as the War Scroll, on subsequent religious, literary, or cultural traditions. How have these texts shaped later beliefs or inspired artistic and literary works? 

1. Ethical and Moral Frameworks:

- Discuss the ethical or moral implications of the cosmic conflict depicted in the War Scroll. How do the themes of righteousness and wickedness contribute to the text's underlying moral framework? 

1. Role of Prophecy and Revelation:

- Explore the role of prophecy and revelation within the War Scroll. How do the prophetic elements contribute to the text's portrayal of future events and cosmic justice? 

1. Experiential and Ritualistic Elements:

- Investigate potential ritualistic or experiential dimensions associated with the teachings or beliefs conveyed in the War Scroll. How might the community have engaged with these teachings in their religious practices or communal activities? 

1. Literary Genre and Interpretation:

- Discuss the classification of the War Scroll within the broader genre of apocalyptic literature. How does its classification influence our understanding and interpretation of its themes and symbolic elements? 

1. Relevance in Modern Scholarship:

- Reflect on the ongoing scholarly debates or discoveries related to the War Scroll. How have modern interpretations evolved, and what implications do these new perspectives have on our understanding of the text? 

1. Intersection of Faith and Scholarship:

- Consider the interplay between faith-based interpretations and scholarly analyses of the War Scroll. How might religious convictions or theological frameworks influence academic research and vice versa? 

1. Future Research and Interpretative Avenues:

- Propose potential avenues for future research or areas of exploration concerning the War Scroll. What unanswered questions or unexplored aspects merit further investigation? 

The composition of the War Scroll, along with other Dead Sea Scrolls, was likely influenced by several historical events and societal conditions prevalent during the time of its writing, which is estimated to be between the 2nd century BCE and the 1st century CE:

1. Hellenistic Rule and Cultural Influence:

• The region where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found was under Hellenistic influence due to the conquests of Alexander the Great and the subsequent control by the Seleucid Empire. This era saw a clash between Hellenistic culture and Jewish traditions, leading to cultural tensions and a desire to preserve religious and cultural heritage.

1. Political Turmoil and Resistance Movements:

• The Jewish people experienced political unrest, particularly during the Maccabean Revolt against Seleucid rule. This period was characterized by resistance movements, attempts to preserve Jewish identity, and fervent anticipation of a messianic figure to deliver them from foreign oppression.

1. Religious Sects and Spiritual Expectations:

• Various religious sects existed within Judaism, each with its own interpretations and expectations of messianic redemption, purity laws, and theological doctrines. The community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls, often believed to be the Essenes, likely had distinctive theological beliefs and a strong apocalyptic worldview.

1. Anticipation of Cosmic Redemption:

• There was a widespread belief in the imminent arrival of a messianic figure or a divine intervention that would bring about cosmic redemption, ushering in an era of righteousness and divine rule. This anticipation of apocalyptic events and a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness is reflected in the War Scroll's themes.

Regarding the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery, its significance lies in multiple facets:

1. Preservation of Ancient Texts:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, provided an invaluable collection of ancient manuscripts that significantly expanded our understanding of ancient Jewish texts, religious beliefs, and the diversity of Jewish thought during the Second Temple period.

1. Insights into Jewish Sectarianism:

• The scrolls shed light on the diversity of beliefs and practices among Jewish sects during that time. Understanding the beliefs and expectations of the community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls helps contextualize the theological and apocalyptic themes present in the War Scroll.

1. Confirmation of Scriptural Accuracy:

• The Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contributed to confirming the accuracy and preservation of certain biblical texts, highlighting the continuity of textual transmission across centuries and supporting the authenticity of biblical manuscripts.

1. Impact on Biblical Studies and Scholarship:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls revolutionized biblical studies, providing scholars with invaluable primary sources for studying ancient Judaism, the development of biblical texts, and the context in which these texts were composed.

The historical context of political upheaval, religious expectations, and the preservation of texts within the Dead Sea Scrolls contributes significantly to understanding the milieu in which the War Scroll was written. It provides a backdrop against which the themes of cosmic conflict, eschatological anticipation, and religious fervor within the War Scroll can be comprehended.

Disclaimer: This post is merely to provide knowledge, and not to instruct you to do anything. Your choice whether to choose the Science One program at UBC or not is completely up to you. I hope this helps in making an informed decision.
I just thought I would contribute to the existing public knowledge of the Science One program already on Reddit here: https://www.reddit.com/UBC/comments/ec95t4/for_anyone_interested_in_science_one/ My post assumes you already did basic research on the program and aims to contribute more knowledge that isn’t publicly available yet (here is the Science One website: https://scienceone.ubc.ca)
I am an alumni in the 2023-2024 cohort, but just a disclaimer that a few things will change in the program in the years to come (see below):
Just a few small updates to the previous Reddit post:

• BIOL 140 is no longer a mandatory component of Science One so there will be no associated biology labs.
• There are three STT’s, where you can find here for the updated schedules for your year: https://scienceone.ubc.ca/resources

Note about grades: While Science One is promoted as a program where the students care more about knowledge than grades, while this is very true in my personal experience, I still think that grades played a large impact on our mental health, confidence, and our overall enjoyability of the first year experience. The reason I am including grades here is to allow you to have reasonable expectations about your grades and know that if you want to go into a very competitive specialization in second year, Science One may not be the right program for you. Note that the grades published on UBC grades (https://ubcgrades.com) is not representative of the actual class average. There is a policy where if a student failed two or more subjects in Science One, the credit for Science One will be broken down into its individual course components and the student will not appear to have been in Science One (it doesn’t show Science One on their transcript, rather the rough course equivalents). This raises the apparent class average reported. In my year, 3 people were removed, which changed the class average from 75% to 77%.
Alright, with that out of the way, I will be filling in the gaps of public knowledge specifically with the workload of Science One. Below is a (hopefully) unbiased perspective on Science One. My personal opinion will be stated later in this post.
Biology
Note: both of our biology professors (Pam Kalas and George Haughn) are no longer teaching in the program, so this subject may look very different

• Weekly 10 minute quizzes (quiz average 15% of biology grade), consisting normally of two to three written questions (be sure to learn to type very fast and think fast, especially since these quizzes are normally at 8:30am in the morning)
  • However, we get one quiz drop per term where our lowest quiz mark is discarded
  • Generally the quiz average is around 74%
• Biology Midterm “superquiz” once a term (20% of biology grade, can replace quiz average if the mark is higher so can be worth up to 35%) which is around 55 minutes and consists of around 10 long written questions (however, this is very little time for the amount of thinking and typing necessary to succeed so learn to type fast!)
  • Average was around 74% and 60% respectively for terms 1 and 2
• Biology assignments for completion/participation (10%) around once every 1-2 weeks ~ somewhat simple compared to the complexity of the quizzes and midterm, takes around 15-20 minutes per assignment
• Pre-readings per week around 2 hours, critical to understanding the class material
  • Pre-readings are found in study guides provided to us or on public webpages, there is no textbook for biology
• One tree project in term 1 where you are tasked with finding and identifying five different tree species around campus
• 2.5 hour final exam (50%), however, if you do better on your final exam than midterm average, it can replace the midterm average (so can be worth up to 85% of your grade)
  • Consists of written answers with explanations (I found this final to always be very rushed, finishing writing my answers with around 1 minute to spare)
  • Typically, since the final exams are so difficult, very few people will be able to get a higher mark on the final exam than the midterm
  • Average was 65% in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: 3-10 hours of work per week depending on your thinking speed and how busy that week’s schedule is
Class average over the year: 71%
Term 1 Units: Great Bear Rainforest, Metabolism, DNA, Gene Expression, Genetics
Term 2 Units: Genetics (Continued); Phylogenies, Speciation, Population and Community Dynamics; Macromolecular Self Assembly; Regulation of Gene Expression; Biological Energy Transformation
Biology Tutorials

• Salmon project ~ year long project where we test the DNA of salmon through learning gel electrophoresis strategies
  • Very minimal prep work, maximum 30 min per tutorial

Chemistry
Note: One professor is no longer teaching in Science One (John Sherman), but the other is staying (Guillaume Bussiere), so this may be different in your year

• Around biweekly unit quizzes (40%), five per term, each quiz around 30 minutes, double sided with around 15-25 questions, with both multiple choice and written answer questions
  • Around 74% averages
  • One quiz drop per term
• Assignments (10%) consisting of worksheets provided in class (takes around 30 minutes-1 hour per assignment) and questions submitted on a paid ($70 if I remember correctly) homework submission website called Achieve
• 2.5 hour final exam (50%) consisting of theory based questions, organic chemistry, multiple choice, and calculation
  • 69% average in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: 2-5 hours of work per week depending if there’s quizzes or assignments that week
Class average over the year: 75%
Term 1 Units: Chemical Bonding and Basics, Conformations, Stereochemistry, Thermodynamics, Electrochemistry
Term 2 Units: Kinetics, Quantum Chemistry, Intermolecular Forces (not really a whole unit, more like a supplementary lecture), Valence Bond Theory and Molecular Orbital Theory, Acid Base Chemistry, SN1 and SN2 Reactions
Chemistry Tutorials

• some coding based tutorials for quantum chemistry, little to no prep work, but knowledge of python coding is needed (but you will learn in Science One), submission of a worksheet for marks
• Organic chemistry worksheets, guided by the professors, but no submission necessary

Chemistry Labs (Chem 121, Chem 123 equivalents for term 1 and 2 respectively)

• Biweekly 3 hour lab sessions, where we are performing experiments and recording notes in our EDF
• Prep work: normally on our “off weeks”, we need to fill in our EDF and do the prep work (around 3-5 hours)
• In term 2, we also need to submit lab reports for each lab session (takes around 1-2 hours to write)

Overall class average (I forgot): around 85%
Physics

• Two long form assignments per term (20%, so 10% each assignment), each assignment generally consists of collecting data related to something learned in class, and analyzing it
  • Data collecting and analysis can take around 2-6 hours spread over the week (generally how long it takes to complete the assignment)
  • Around 80% averages
• Biweekly quizzes (30%), total 5 per term, one hour long open book online quizzes, consisting of 12 multiple choice or calculation questions
  • Around 75% averages
  • one quiz drop per term
• Prereadings assignments (4%) on WebWork (around once every two weeks, but very inconsistent schedule), consisting around 3-4 multiple choice/calculation based questions
  • Most often, there is no prereading assignment, but there are around 6-7 sections of prereading assigned per week of lecture of online OpenStax textbooks
    • Personally, I did not do them, but still survived, as the prereadings can take up to 3 hours depending on your reading speed and intended depth of read
• Homework assignments (6%) around once every two weeks consisting of 8-11 multiple choice and calculation based questions, requires a lot of knowledge of theory rather than plugging in numbers into equations
• 2.5 hour open book final (40%) consisting of both multiple choice (submitted on Canvas) and long written answer questions (paper copy, but submitted on Canvas)
  • 60% average in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: around 2-5 hours of work per week depending on if there’s quizzes, long assignments, or assignments
Class average over the year: 76%
Term 1 Units: Measuring and Modelling Motion, Motion and Conservation Laws, Thermodynamics, Rotational Motion, Special Relativity
Term 2 Units: Waves, Quantum Mechanics, Electrostatics, Circuits, Magnetism and Magnetic Fields, Stellar Nucleosynthesis
Physics Tutorials

• Generally working on worksheets with the guidance of professors, very helpful for understanding the content better, but worksheets are not submitted

Physics Labs (Phys 119, Phys 129)

• 3 hour sessions per week, consisting of data collection and data analysis, learn plenty of Python and basic statistical tests (however, most labs in term 1 are very rushed, but in term 2 there is much more spare time)
• Prep work in term 1 takes around 1-2 hours per lab, consisting of submitting a Jupyter notebook with code so we understand the code we need to use in the lab
• Prep work in term 2 takes around 15 minutes - 2 hours, mostly doesn’t have as much prep work as term 1
  • Rarely Jupyter lab notebooks for submission, most weeks we just preread what we are doing in the lab and that is sufficient

Class average (I forgot): around 85%
Mathematics

• Midterms “tests” (25%) three per term, around 50 minutes, and consisting of 3-4 written questions (average is usually around 60%, but we have had two instances of failed average midterms resulting in scale [but don’t rely on a scale, it is very rare!]), however, we get one midterm drop per term, where it is not counted in our average
• Assignments (16%) consisting of three long assignments with written answers that take around 2-4 hours to complete, and weekly two WebWork assignments that are around 6-12 questions, calculation and theory based
• Weekly quizzes (9%), with one quiz drop per term
  • 15 minute quizzes with 3 questions, generally a little rushed but doable
• 2.5 hour final (50%)
  • Average 67% in term 1, term 2 grades not available
• Pre-reading assignments not for marks, takes around 2 hours per week (personally I didn’t do any and I was ok)

Overall workload: around 3-6 hours per week depending if there’s assignments, and midterms that week
Class average over the year: 72%
Term 1 Focus: Derivatives and ODE’s
Term 2 Focus: Integration
Term 1 Project (partnered)

• consists of a presentation and mind map of a topic that we research in depth using primary literature
• Around biweekly meetings with our mentor, and mini check in assignments

Overall workload: around 1 hour per week, but can be up to 4 hours when preparing for the presentation
Class average: around 85%
Term 2 Project (partnered)

• consists of a project designed personally by you and a partner to measure something and report on it in a 3000 word paper (90%) and a presentation to our peers (10%)
• Weekly check ins with mentor, or round table discussion with updates

Overall workload: anywhere from 0-8 hours a week depending on the complexity of the project
Class average: 75%
Summary
With that in mind, I want to provide some pros and cons of Science One:
Pros

• Unique connections to professors
• Community with fellow students, and can form a very close knit group of people who are like-minded
• Blended grade at the end of the school year, so if you do bad in one subject but good at the rest, you can “hide” the bad mark
• Networking with professionals at guest speakers
• Having all your classes in one classroom, to avoid rushing across campus between classes
• Allows you to see how all science subjects interconnect
• Provides a deeper knowledge of all topics, basically an honours version of first year Science
• No stress about designing your own timetable
• Research experience in term 2 project can help with research applications in the future
• Study spaces for only Science One students, very helpful especially during finals season

Cons

• grading is a little harsh (very harsh in biology in my opinion) and there is no scaling at the end of the school year, so you may not get into your desired major if it is very competitive to get into
• You also are not prioritized for major selection compared to mainstream (ie if you get a 70% and a mainstream student gets a 71%, they will be prioritized)
• Workload is very intense, sometimes it felt like there was no break for ourselves
• Mental health and stress levels
• Blended grade at the end of the school year, so if you do really good in one subject it may be hidden
• Busy workload means less free time, so some relationships outside of Science One may dwindle
• Very hard to take elective courses on top of Science One, because of the busy schedule and demanding workload (might make it harder to get into Computer Science because of its prerequisites)
• Science One only offers 28 credits (6 for two terms of, biology, physics, math, and chem each, with 2 for two terms of chemistry labs and physics labs each), meaning that our term 1 and term 2 work do not provide us any credit
  • Science One disqualifies students from taking SCIE 113 (a communication requirement), but does not give any credits for it

Personal Opinion
While I did enjoy Science One at the start of the school year because of the pros mentioned above, over the school year, I started taking an interest in a competitive major, which put a lot of stress on myself to achieve high marks. It almost felt like no matter how hard I tried and how well I thought I knew the topic, my mark was going to be low anyways because the way the content is tested. I feel like I shot myself in the foot when it comes to getting into my major as the application process is completely based on grades.
While I don’t know if I would have done better in mainstream (I probably wouldn’t have had as many friends, and therefore my mental health would be worse, and possibly it means that I don’t have as much motivation), I definitely think that I could have done better in mainstream if I had the same motivation I do now as their way of testing and marking may be a lot more lenient. However, I am almost certainly sure that if my cohort were placed into mainstream classes in first year, we would have achieved much higher grades than we did in Science One. However, I don’t know if being in Science One could have an effect on my performance in the years to come. I do acknowledge that over the year, I was able to develop really good study habits to manage the workload and also learned to prioritize my health, which will be beneficial in the future.
However, I have also noticed that there are some “hell weeks”, where we absolutely feel like dropping out. In both terms, after term 1 and 2 conferences, where we were away at camp for the weekend (we didn’t have the weekend to do schoolwork), there was a week where there were many overlapping assessments, such as math midterms, chemistry quizzes, math assignments, and chemistry assignments, etc. These are the assessments that ended up having class averages which were below expectations, which I feel wasn’t our fault at all.
In fact, we were burnt out, but because of our wonderful Student Council, we were able to have some assignments pushed back to alleviate some of our workload and reduce burnout. Special thanks to our chemistry professors, as they were always open to planning the chemistry quizzes on days that weren’t as bad for us, and even asked us which day we wanted the quizzes. I can tell they really care about our wellbeing and our performance.
In addition, even though Science One is marketed as being prestigious, most of the people I talk to don’t even know what Science One is, and the few who do know it, know it for its intensive nature and harsh marking scheme. There is no special treatment for Science One graduates that I know of except for the occasional “wow how did you survive?”.
Generally, I don’t regret doing Science One, but if I had the chance to restart first year, I would have chosen to go the mainstream route. I feel I would have been a lot less stressed and have gotten much better grades. However, I did meet so many motivated and amazing people this year, and have generally enjoyed some aspects such as camp. Unfortunately, because of my desired major, I have seen Science One as something that may have limited my options in the future.
Do I think Science One is for you?
These are my personal opinions and please don’t take this section as the final decider for you. Be sure to do more research!
To succeed in Science One, talent can only go so far. At some point you will be challenged academically, and you will doubt yourself. But what follow is what really determines if you are a good fit for Science One. If you want to give up and do something easier, go to mainstream. If you want to persevere and to learn more, Science One may be the right choice for you. If just you want the prestige of Science One, don’t do Science One, it is not as well known as their website may make it seem. If you want to go into Computer Science, Science One may not be for you since it has little connection to Computer Science and really lowers your mark.
If you really are hard set on a competitive major which requires high marks, consider mainstream, since it is very rare and very very difficult to do well in Science One. If you really love to learn more difficult concepts, have a tight community to be by your side, to have good connections to your professors, to get some research experience, AND grades aren’t a huge concern for you, Science One is for you.
Again, take my opinion with a grain of salt. You are ultimately the right person who can make the right choice for yourself. You know yourself the best. I hope this helped and I wish you all the very best in your studies, whether you decide to go Science One or not. Feel free to DM me or reply below if you have any further questions :)

This analysis comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Shakubuku: A Study of the Nichiren Shoshu Buddhist Movement in America, 1960-1975", David A. Snow, 1993, pp. 171-179.
I'll try to shave it down, because it's a long section, but he masterfully dissects the manipulation and artifice involved in the "discussion meetings" of then-NSA (now SGI-USA). You'll recognize the fakery he identifies - this is the nature of the Dead-Ikeda-cult SGI, a completely dishonest and exploitative cult.

It is at these discussion meetings, then, that NSA gets on with the real work of promoting and securing nominal conversion, of attempting to get recruits to take the first major step toward conversion by agreeing to receive a Gohonzon and to give chanting a try.

In those days, the nohonzon was issued up front (for a fee, of course - cash on the barrelhead).

And since gaining converts is, in large part, what this movement is all about, "nothing is more basic to the activities of NSA," as noted in the Winter edition of the 1975 NSA Quarterly, "than the discussion meeting." Or, as one district leader emphasized when discussing the importance of these meetings: "Discussion meetings are indispensable to the spread of the practice and the attainment of Kosen-rufu."

If you've ever felt confused at how sitting around someone's living room with the same bunch of losers month after month is doing anything toward the SGI's supposed goals of "world peace" or anything at all, actually, besides wasting the participants' time, I think what's described here will make it clearer what the original intent and purpose of these "discussion meetings" was, AND how far from that the current SGI "activities" have fallen.

The Character and Organization of These Meetings from a Sociological Standpoint
Given the purpose and importance of these discussion meetings, the question arises as to how they are organized and brought off in a strategic manner. In other words, what is the underlying strategy guiding this work of securing nominal conversion, and what are the kinds of tactical adjustments made at the line of scrimmage when the plan of attack does not appear to be advancing the group toward its goal of getting guests to agree to give chanting a try.

It's not enough that the "guests" say they'll try it; by the end of this ordeal, they'll say absolutely anything to get themselves to the other side of that door! What they really want is enough interest and desire on the part of those "guests" that they'll come back - and ideally become regularly attending members (as described in this indoctrinational creative writing fiction where a career Catholic priest is so entranced with the fictional (non)discussion meetings that he JOINS the SGI!! You'll notice that there is never any room within SGI to even mention one of THEIR SGI leaders who joins a Baptist church, for example, much less to celebrate such a stepping-out-of-line. But it's always FINE for other religions' leaders to see the obvious superiority of the SGI, knowmsayin?

In order to answer these question [sic] in a sociological manner, let us step out of the shoes of a guest and into those of a sociological [sic] with insiders' knowledge.
The Strategy of Theatrical Persuasion. Although members and the movement's literature like to characterize these meetings as being forums for free and open discussion and the spontaneous expression and flow of happiness and excitement, they are a far cry from gatherings characterized by spontaneity and unstructured discussion and interaction. Rather, they are meticulously planned and highly orchestrated meetings that can be best conceptualized, from a dramaturgical perspective, as theatrical-like presentations staged and conducted by a set of individuals (NSA members) who not only work together as a team but whose intimate cooperation is expected and required in order to foster and sustain a convincing impression or definition of the situation in the eyes of the audience (the recruits or guests).
Although the staged character of these meetings is seldom readily discernible to the unsuspecting guest, the appropriateness of conceptualizing these meetings in this way is suggested by the following considerations. First, the purpose of the meeting, as already indicated, is to sell guests on the idea of chanting, to so impress them that they feel compelled to give this practice call [sic] chanting a try.
Secondly, there is a division of labor such that all members have one or more roles to play. These various roles include the leadership role, the role of emcee, a general, overarching supportive role, and several more specific supportive roles, such as the role of giving an explanation of what NSA is all about, the role of a song leader, and the role of giving testimony. And even more significantly, members are provided with fairly detailed instructions, or, in the language of the theater, with scripts indicating what each role involves and how best to perform or play it.

There's a list of these roles. At the discussion meeting planning meeting, the attendees go down the list and simply plug different members' names into the worksheet.

The main leadership role, assumed by the district chief or, in his absence, the assistant district chief, includes, for example, the tasks of leading the chanting in a vigorous manner, conducting the question-and-answer session, meeting with each of the guests, and providing an inspirational role model for the other members. In performing these tasks, the leader is reminded that rather than putting on the air of a great sage, he should make a point of displaying great vitality, warmth, and compassion. Furthermore, he is expected "to be able to give clear explanations of the philosophy and practice," and is instructed to "always tailor his answers and encouragement to the audience."

Answers should always be tailored to the audience. If the guests are young, then the answers should include examples they can relate to. If the questions are too mystical or one-sided, the leader must have the wisdom to change the subject or break off the question-and-answer period diplomatically.

Blanche described how in her first district, the WD District leader instructed everyone that, if someone in the meeting was going on too long or rambling or whatever, that they should just start clapping wildly and shouting, "Congratulations!!" and then the MC would just move on to the next topic on the agenda. Reeeeal "spontaneous" there...

The emcee role is also regarded as particularly important, so much so that "the success of the meeting" is said to be contingent on how well it is performed. In fact, "so much depends on the emcee" that the discussion meeting is described for him as "a battleground in which he must struggle to bring victory to the members."

Barf. How far SGI has fallen! Now the goal is to see if there's some young teen in an SGI member's family who can be press-ganged to show up and read the agenda - their youth in and of itself is supposed to "encourage" everyone! Forget about all that "struggle" nonsense - they aren't gonna. This illustrates the SGI's current "form over function" approach, in which they just identify someone and pressure that person to do it, rather than the ideal candidate volunteering from a spirit of...oh, whatever - see above paragraph 🙄 Ideally, there would be SEVERAL young people positively brimming with passion and youthful energy who would be vying to be chosen: "Me! Let ME do it this time!" "No! ME!" "Choose ME!!" Instead, now it's just some tired old fart who agrees to do it, just to get this over with and there's no one else.

Specific responsibilities include setting "the gears fo the meeting in motion" and keeping the meeting going in a rhythmical and orderly manner.

You have to wonder just how crazy they envision these (non)discussion meetings might go - will a spontaneous rave break out if it isn't carefully controlled? An unpermitted parade? A frenzy of liturgical dance?? WHAT might happen??? Enquiring minds want to know!!

The emcee must develop the ability to keep the rhythm of the meeting going by making sure that there are no pauses or interruptions. If someone is causing a disorder, he should quiet the person in a polite manner. If a baby starts crying, he should see to it that either the mother or one of the young women at the meeting takes the child to another room to calm it down.

Gendered. Misogynist.

The emcee is also charged with being "the eyes and ears of the person leading the meeting."

Before and during the meeting, he should watch guests, be on the lookout for disruptions, and in general, be aware of everything that's happening. He should inform the person leading the meeting how many guests are present and whether they are young or old, so the leader can set the rhythm of the meeting accordingly.

Yeah. NO 😄 WOW but it's been a LONG TIME since any SGI sales pitch-based recruiting session - I mean discussion meeting - had any characteristics that would fit the above instructions. Just no way. Not now. Now, it's the same old handful of longhaulers dragging themselves in to go through the motions - as usual. By rote.

In addition, the emcee is expected to talk, act, and appear in a manner that displays or exudes strength, confidence, vitality and neatness.

The emcee must speak in a vigorous, strong and clear voice, but not screaming. The way he sits, stands up and moves the table must display confidence.

This was when a small table would be moved in in front of the person who led gongyo, who would turn around to face the group. This is of course a Japanese norm, completely foreign to Westerners. How many people outside of Japan even have a low table like that, designed for someone who's sitting on the floor??

In fact, he should stand up smartly whenever he is talking. As for appearance, he should reflect the image of NSA - clean and neat clothes and personal grooming.

It has been a LOOOOOOOONG time since ANY SGI district could insist on these requirements! Now they're just lucky if they can get anyone younger than retirement age to read the agenda off, and the agenda is often handed to them right there at the meeting itself - fuhgeddabout all this "advance preparation" nonsense. Nothing happens at the SGI discussion meetings, so nobody's going to go to this much trouble just because.

And finally, the emcee is instructed to have the details of the meeting worked out and the setting in order before the meeting begins.

...as opposed to showing up and being handed a printed agenda to read off as SGI does it now.

The emcee must have a plan for the meeting. He should write up a schedule showing who will give the explanation, what songs will be sung, who will give experiences and so on, and present it to the leader at least two days prior to the meeting. The emcee must prepare for the meeting. He should check to see if the meeting place is clean and neat, that all lights work and there is an appropriate meeting table. Most of all, he should do Shakubuku for the success of the meeting.

Oh, like any of that's gonna happen! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes, things were VERY different back in the late 1960s-early 1970s, when the SGI organization in the US was still growing. As you can see, all this has been tossed right out the window.
A couple of items:

• "the leader" - this was when the leader of the local district organizational unit (typically the MEN's leader) would assume the leadership role for the "discussion meeting". This was replaced with a "central figure", an invited "SENIOR leader" who would agree to attend and serve this "leader" function. The invited SENIOR leader would typically lead gongyo and preside over the proceedings - that's more how these meetings are arranged now.
  
• that "Shakubuku" in the last sentence? It strikes me wrong somehow. Sure, that'd be great and all for EVERYONE to bring a "guest" (#SGIGOALZ of course) but I think that having the person CHANT for the success of the meeting would be a more reasonable assignment. Also, how could the MC properly shepherd their "guest" and STILL do all that MC stuff single-mindedly??
  

In fact, you can see a newly promoted leader doing exactly that, "chanting for the success of the meeting", here, from this same time period (early 1970s).
It's been a LONG time since any of this was happening, and you can clearly see in today's (non)discussion meetings how far things have deteriorated - and that's JUST the MC part! There's a bit about the demands on the members of the group - I'll skip to just this part:

As one district chief explained during a planning meeting for senior and junior leaders within the district and which I was invited to by one of my key informants:

Make sure to tell your members to chant in rhythm with the leaders. There shouldn't be any more than one rhythm. Everyone should be together so that there is unity. And remember to have them support the leader in whatever he says; the guests won't know whether he is right or wrong. So even if you don't agree with what is being said, act as if you do. this [sic] way there is unity at the meeting and the guests will be more impressed.

Wow, huh? It's completely dishonest and oriented entirely at flimflamming and bamboozling the "guests"!
Next there's a big section on "experiences", but I'm going to give that its own post because it's a WHOLE topic on its own. Hopefully today! But Ima skip ahead a bit, to p. 177:

A fourth indication of the staged character of discussion meetings is provided by the fact that planning meetings are held at both the district and chapter level for the purpose of discussing how to improve discussion meetings and make them more successful. Although rank-and-file members (those who have not attained that status of a junior or senior leader) are not normally invited to these planning meetings, I was able to attend several of them at the invitation of both my district chief and a junior leader who was one of my key informants.

SKULLDUGGERY!! 💀

It was during these planning meetings that I became deeply sensitized to the highly orchestrated and dramaturgical character of not only the discussion meetings but of NSA's overall operation.

At this point it's important to remember that "dramaturgical" means "relating to the art or the theory of writing and putting on plays, especially for the theater" - it's all putting on a show to manipulate the unwitting guests in order to trick them into transforming into new recruits. It's ALL fake - just a façade to fool the uninformed.

A fifth consideration suggesting that staged character of discussion meetings is the fact that much of what members do and say, both verbally and nonverbally, during the course of a meeting is to appear natural and spontaneous rather than artificial and contrived.

They try. Unconvincingly.

In other words, these meetings are not to appear as staged performances or as the product of dramaturgical cooperation. This concern is evidenced by the emphasis placed on exuding sincerity and responding to calls from the emcee and to what the leader says and does with alacrity and enthusiasm. It is also suggested by some of the rituals engaged in by the emcee, as when he scans the gathering after he has called for an experience so as to foster the impression that whom he calls is a spontaneous decision rather than one that has been pre-arranged, as indicated by the fact that those called on are already listed on his meeting agenda and by the fact that members frequently know beforehand whether they will be giving an experience.

This fakery apparently was dropped decades ago; in current SGI (non)discussion meetings, not only is the person acknowledged by name as delivering/"sharing" an "experience", but the person often has it written out on a piece of paper they semi-read off.

But none of this is evident to the guest.

Rather, what transpires - who gives the explanation, who gives testimonies, and so on - is staged in such a way that it all appears as if it is spontaneous and independent of prior planning, negotiation, and decision-making among the members. As a consequence, it seems reasonable to suggest that NSA in general and the district members in particular have something of the character of a secret society.

Only without any special perks or sexiness.

This is not particularly surprising, however, when considering the nature of theatrical-like teamwork. As Erving Goffman noted in his seminal discussion of this kind of work:

... if a performance is to be effective it will be likely that the extent of cooperation that makes this possible will be concealed and kept secret... The audience may appreciate, of course, that all members of the team are held together by a bond that no member of the audience shares ... But (the members of the team) form a secret society ... insofar as a secret is kept as to how they are cooperating together to maintain a particular definition of the situation.

This will all be very familiar to the people trying to recruit new suckers into MLM schemes/scams, too.

The sixth and final consideration suggesting the appropriateness of viewing these meetings from a dramaturgical perspective is the fact that they do not "go on" unless there is an audience, that is unless guests are in attendance.

Before Ikeda was excommunicated by Nichiren Shoshu and transformed the SGI into his own personal worship society, there was a certain "rhythm" to the year. February and August were "Shakubuku Months", and there was an "introductory meeting" scheduled every week. If it came to meeting start time and there was no "guest", the meeting was halted and everybody was sent out to try and find something with a pulse to drag in, at which point the meeting would proceed:

When I first discovered this I was somewhat startled, for I had assumed that these meetings were conducted in their entirety regardless of the presence or absence of a new face. But as I learned one evening, this is not the case. Following the chanting session on this particular evening, the leader emphasized that since these meetings were for guests and none were present, we would have to go out and round up one or two. So the members in attendance were divided into Shakubuku teams and sent out in search of prospects. Although three of the four teams returned empty-handed, one had managed to corral a single guest. But one is all that is needed; and so the formal meeting began as usual.

For "formal meeting" read "sales pitch". By the late-1980s, perhaps earlier, instead of being every discussion meeting, this format was restricted to the "introductory meetings" during the Shakubuku Months. However, he's describing something that happened every single time. No meeting unless a "guest" was present.

During my tenure as a member I saw this particular scenario re-enacted on four different occasions, and on one occasion we were sent back into the streets three times in succession. Around 8:30 p.m., after the third try and with one guest in hand, the show finally got on the road.

The author describes himself as "an active participant observer for nearly a year and a half".

Perhaps even more illustrative of the theatrical character of these meetings and the fact that they are staged for guests is the following course of events that transpired one evening during a meeting I attended:

Although no guests were present when the chanting began, a young couple came in toward the end of the chanting session and situated themselves on the floor at the back of the room. But apparently the emcee didn't notice them; for upon completion of the chanting session he didn't jump up and yell out: 'Welcome to a vigorous and happy meeting of the [name here] District of NSA!' But the district leader, who had apparently seen this couple come in, punched the emcee in the ribs and whispered that some guests were present. And so this member immediately assumed his role of the emcee and proceeded as usual by springing to his feet, putting on a big smile, and blurting out, 'Welcome to a vigorous and happy meeting of the [name here] District of NSA!'

"Vigorous and happy" 🤣

In light of the foregoing considerations and observations, there seems to be little question about the appropriateness of conceptualizing NSA discussion meetings as "shows" or presentations staged by the members, who constitute a performance team, before an audience composed of recruits or "guests".

This was what was going on BEFORE Dickeda swanned into the US in 1990 and "changed our direction" - because of what Sensei did, the bottom fell out of the discussion meetings. Instead of weekly meetings, Dickeata dictated that these meetings would only happen monthly from now on - and of COURSE Die-Sucky Scamsei's word is LAW in his own cult of personality, where the membership follows a PERSON instead of any "law". Post-excommunication, at the (non)discussion meetings I attended, there was at least one guest every single time, but they never came back. The ONLY person I saw join post-excommunication was a formerly homeless woman with two small children who had moved in with an SGI member (who had unethically selected her at the abused-women's shelter she was living at, where he volunteered computer classes for the residents). She was able to see it didn't work; she ended up quitting.
Now what SGI-USA is left with is an ever-shrinking membership of mostly Baby-Boom generation and older individuals who mostly joined during the time period described in this study. SGI has completely lost what vitality it once had; now it's simply waiting around for the grave - and oblivion.

Lately, I've been trying to do a lot better with my recovery journey. I decided that I need to put more effort in & I need to change.
I've been doing more dbt skills and using my support systems. Lately I was going through a small episode & was trying not to text someone one... this happened over 2 days. When i would get the urgency, I did an dbt exercise, texted friends, distracted myself. It went away.... for maybe like an hour. The urgency came back and started to become an "obsession" until I would text the person again... I kept doing my worksheets & distractions... and it kept happening until I called the person. When I heard the first ring, I felt like absolute shit... And when they didn't pick up, I broke down from grief, heartbreak, disappointment (Mostly in myself), and probably a lot of other things ..
I tried so hard and I did everything I was suppose to do. I felt like a failure & that I will never get better..

Hey,
My father passed away a year and half ago due to lung cancer and I still have not been able to process it.
When I heard the news of my father's death my world was (and still is) in shambles. My father was everything to me, the only parent and family member I could laugh with nonstop and the only one who supported me no matter what. He believed in me more than he believed in himself. And despite dealing with addiction and major depressive disorder, he still managed to rise up and show his children love whenever he could. He was an adventurous person with a great sense of humour and he brightened not just my days but my entire life.
Now I lost him, and for the past year I've been numbing myself with addictions of my own to deal with the pain of it all. My thought process became much more disorganized, hazy, and confused (I rewrote this post many times because I could not get myself to think clearly). Whenever I remember him I can't help but fall into tears and dread.
I decided three days ago that I'd sober up, and meet with my pain face-front in order to actually heal. I looked up some grief worksheets in desperation for something that could teach me how to go about this since I've put that on pause for a year and a half.
I was hoping if anyone could share with me anything that has helped you process some of your grief. Especially on how to stop crying everytime I remember him. I want to speak about him with joy and share good memories of him with my friends. I am tired of crying all the time even when I'm speaking positively about him.
Thank you in advance, and much love to all of you trying to process your own loss <3

I don't know how exactly to start this. I'm honestly just writing this so that I can say everything I feel like I can't tell anyone else and hopefully someone will read it and help me feel less alone.
I was diagnosed with ASD, major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder when I was 16 years old after struggling with what I now recognize as burnout. This period of burnout lasted for multiple years, though I can't necessarily pinpoint where it started as I have a really spotty memory before the age of 14 due to a head injury and blocking out the majority of my junior highschool years because of bullying I experienced during that time. I wasn't bullied specifically because I was autistic, as I was masking heavily from my early childhood, though I'm sure that definitely contributed to how I was treated by my peers.
Before I was diagnosed, I felt like I was constantly living life on survival mode, doing the bare minimum to get by. Basic necessities like food, water, sleep, and personal hygeine often fell by the wayside just so I felt like I had enough energy to get through the day. Every social interaction was dedicated to trying to find the perfect reaction to others just so I wouldn't be singled out. I struggled to make and keep friends because of social anxiety. Friendships never lasted, and I would be left picking myself apart trying to figure what was wrong with me that could've caused these relationships to fall off.
After I was diagnosed, I felt like I finally had answers. Things got a lot better because I was able to find community through online spaces like this one. My diagnosis came right before the pandemic hit, and while that time generally wasn't very good, I found that being in lockdown and having to do my senior year of highschool completely virtually actually was beneficial in that it gave me the break I so desperately needed to recover from years and years of burnout. I thrived in lockdown since I had never really cared to leave home that often anyway.
I was able to graduate highschool despite having had a lot of difficulty for the majority of my time there. I was accepted into an art school and I felt like I was finally gonna be able to move forward after feeling like I was falling behind my peers for so long. The school was three hours away from where my family lives so when I started school I had to get used to being completely on my own. Going into it I was pretty resolute that I probably wouldn't make any friends but I was fine with that because that just meant I would devote more time to my classes.
I was wrong. For the first time in my life I thrived socially because I never had to mask around this new group of people that I cared about. Some of them were autistic as well and I finally felt accepted. I even got into a long term relationship which I'm very happy to say I'm still in. For the sake of this post I'll call her V. This was also the first time I was allowed to be openly queer without feeling like there would be repercussions.
Things started out so well but by spring semester of freshman year everything fell apart. I struggled to balance my academic life with my social life (which became kind of shaky due to my roommate situation) and on top of that, I have dealt with chronic pain all my life and it only got worse when I got to school. The physical pain made it nearly impossible for me to make it to class some days and unfortunately I was ineligible for any accommadations relating to it because this chronic pain issue remains undiagnosed. I fell extremely behind in all my classes. I was put on academic probation and told I would not be allowed to retun for sophomore year. They said I could take some classes a communtiy college and transfer back to school eventually but I never did due to multiple reasons I'd rather not explain here.
I've kept in contact with all my friends from school even though I'm living at home. I hear from them all the time about how the school has changed for the worse, and even though I still want to go back to school and get my degree I most likely won't be going back there ever again.
The problem is that I'm afraid to go back to school and fail again because I don't have the means to take care of myself mentally and physically. If i go back without having found some solution to the pain issue and to my struggles as an autistic person, I would most likely struggle the exact same way. It's been almost two years now of me living at home with little progress and not being able to get a job because of the same issues I had at school. I'm ashamed of myself and I feel guilty because of all the energy, time, and money my family put into getting me to school in the first place. Everyday I wake up and spend all day in the house and I always have this feeling that my parents think of me as a disappointment because I didn't live up to the perfect, independant gifted child that they thought I would be.
I know that I'm disabled in more ways than one and that I can't measure my successes and failures against other people but it really sucks to watch all my friends finishing up their junior year while I sit at home constantly struggling with basically nothing to show for it. And to make matters worse I don't even know how to make a plan forward. I feel like I'm always sinking in the quicksand while everyone sprints ahead of me. I think one of my biggest worries is that V will eventually realize that I'm just some dead weight she's pulling with her and that I'll lose the only person who's ever made me feel good about being me.

So I have a Tableau report that I am now exploring the options to distribute amongst the org.
The issue is that not everyone has a Tableau Server license, and quite frankly don't need one at this moment. In any case, although I understand Tableau was designed to be an interactive reporting tool, I think enough of the community understands that this is not always the case for every report. I feel that Tableau and Tableau fanboys just use the excuse of "tableau wasn't deigned for this" as a cop-out of not listening to their community at large on these features for many many years. But I digress.
I have a report that lists lets say 60 people and the accounts that fall under these people. Ideally it would be nice to send a subscription email once a month to each person with their accounts. However, from what I've seen this is not possible with Tableau unless you split the report into 60 separate worksheets and have all 60 with a Tableau license to receive said email.
Another less tedious method is to split these 60 into lets say 6 different groups of 10 each. Assign 1 person per group to have a Tableau license and then have them set up to receive the report, and it's their responsibility to forward the report amongst their group.
OR set up an email forwarding address that will receive the 60 or 6 separate reports, that will then automatically forward the email to the groups/individuals that we have set up.
I've read other things about Tabcmd and then Powershell or python scripts but I'd like to try utilize what we have on hand before going down that route if necessary. At least something in the meantime while we set all that up.
TL;DR What solutions have you employed or come up with when dealing with a report that needs to be sent to multiple different emails that require a different filter for every email? Something automated and not overly complicated to set up. Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Thanks for any input, good or bad :)

I am hoping anyone further along into this may have some advice or resources. Books, websites, resources, thought exercises, worksheets, anything at all.
It has been over a month since DDay, things are settling in more but still so fresh. I love my WP a lot, he loves me, and has been putting a lot of effort and action into recovering from this and showing me he wants to be a different person. But I feel I am at the point where I just don't know if I can 'get over' what he's already done. I know 'get over' may not exactly be the right term, but moreso it can be hard to carry on and look at him and accept all the work and progress he's made when the betrayal feels so personal and new. The key points of the betrayal that hurt me the most just have to do with the lies and secrecy, and the more emotional aspects of the affair. His AP was a friend, and it hurts a lot knowing what their relationship was like. I understand a lot of his actions stem from a large amount of unresolved trauma (not an excuse, just a reason) and I am starting to more realistically see how we got here. But the pain is still so heavy. There are some days where I am finally starting to see some semblance of normalcy, but there are still some days where I feel a wreck. Talking to him helps, more specifically when I can tell him exactly why I'm upset or hurting and what about his specific actions that are hurting me. Being able to articulate that, and discuss it with him, and see him understand it helps me a lot.
We have been using some other resources to move along this journey as well. There is a website called Affair Recovery Center that we have been using that has helped a lot for us to open up to each other and understand things. This website also has worksheets and things that we have been printing out and doing, and I've really really enjoyed that aspect of the website.
We also have been opening up more in general, whenever I find an exercise online, I suggest it and we do it. He's started journaling and has encouraged me to do the same. I write down my thoughts frequently, whether it be in this sub, in my notes, or in the journal. He is currently in the process of finding a therapist to attend, and I intend to find one in a few months once I get some other life stuff out of the way.
I don't know if reconciliation is going to happen or not, and for the time being we are just focusing on healing and feeling things out. I am not going to rush in my decision to leave him or stay with him. It has been nice connecting with him, to not only understand this situation and why and how it happened, but to also deepen our relationship, because it does give me hope.
Anyhow, with R being a possibility but not a set path, what are some things that may be helpful? What helped you the most in your journey, especially if you are further along than I am? I want to know as much as possible. We are both committed to taking actions to recover.

This story was originally written July 2023.
You might have heard of me. I was a social media influencer for two years.
I know kids have “influencer” as one of their top professions these days, but for me it was all an accident, really. I uploaded a few YouTube videos back in 2019, in the summer I finished school. All I did was rant about movies. I had a few notes, not a full script, and just spouted off to my laptop camera about inaccurate science, bad casting choices, real nitpicky stuff. In about six months I’d got 200 subscribers.
I was at university then, and I mentioned my videos to some of my uni friends. They subbed and told their friends, and I got up to 1,000 sub by January 2020. My videos were only about ten minutes long, and I had nowhere near the views to monetise. I was making one a week, but not on any sort of schedule. It was just something I did when I was bored.
Then the pandemic hit. A lot of students here in England basically got locked into their halls of residence (that’s dorms for any Americans reading), but I was lucky enough to get back to my parents’ before then. So I was doing what my uni laughably called “remote learning”, which basically meant a couple of video lectures a week, some worksheets, and lots and lots of my own research. I won’t bore you with the topic of my course; it’s not relevant.
I’m not exactly stereotypically pretty. I’ve come to accept that. My hair is stringy, my nose is too big, my face is profoundly asymmetrical, my complexion is strange and acned, my teeth are crooked … You get the idea. You can only do so much with makeup and hair that covers your face. I probably have fewer friends than I would if I looked like other people, and it actually took a lot of courage to make that first video - and even more courage to upload it.
I can only assume that’s the reason I went viral. It certainly wasn’t the high production values, or the tightly-written scripts, or the quality of my research. On the 9th of April I had 1,322 subscribers. On the 10th it was over 8,000. By the end of April it was up to 300,000, and I had actually monetised my channel.
The comments were … well, they were varied. Lots of hate because of my looks, but lots of love from people who just appreciated what I put out there, calling out others for their negative comments. I know many social media stars struggle with unkind comments, but I’d got used to it. Let’s be honest, they weren’t nice, but neither were they untrue. And comments under your video are easier to ignore than comments in the street. I was making decent money after all. If you were one of those commenters, you know which side you were on, and I love you either way. Thanks for the engagement - it’s not easy to gain financially from your unusual appearance!
The trouble with going viral is that it doesn’t last. Competing in the fast-paced world of internet stardom takes a lot of effort. I started experimenting with other things - YouTube shorts, TikTok, Instagram, pretty much anything going. The format that turned out to work best was actually TikTok. I’d bought some skimpy outfits and did ridiculous little dances. I quickly reached over a thousand views per video, and while I wasn’t up to their creator tier, it still worked. A well-known cosmetics company asked to sponsor my videos.
Cosmetics! Me! I guess they were going for woke points or something. I didn’t care, they offered me more money than I knew what to do with, as long as my views stayed high. So I started making 2-minute videos. A dance without make-up, then I applied the make-up - being sure to show the brand name clear and up-close - and then the same dance with make-up. If this is ringing any bells with you, then yes - that was me. And no, stupid - that’s not my real name.
I’d got used to undesired attention of course. Along with the unpleasant comments, I got my fair share of unwelcome male approaches. For a few hours after any upload, about half of my DMs were from men, and some women (or men with female account names), asking to see more of me. I wasn’t a camgirl, though I suppose I wasn’t a million miles away from one; but I could have been. I did seriously consider it a few times, but never actually followed through.
And half of the rest of my DMs, and a good portion of the public comments, were from angry women. What made me think I had the right to show off like that? How could I bring their favourite cosmetics brand into disrepute? But I’ve got pretty thick skin (hey, I can make that joke, you can’t), and mostly laughed the comments off and ignored them.
That was, in hindsight, a mistake.
By September my uni was reopening for in-person teaching. I was working six or seven hours a day just to keep up with everything, and had a couple more brands sponsoring me. Being an influencer isn’t just about filming for ten minutes a day and watching the money come in!
So I was going to tutorials an hour a day, watching video lectures at 2x speed, and ignoring my assignments in favour of making videos and replying to messages. It’s not like my pointless degree was helping with my real job.
Okay fine. It was geology. Rocks and stuff. You happy now? I bet you can’t tell the difference between sylvite and carnallite just by licking it, can you?
Anyway, the point is I came close to being chucked out. Actually I had to repeat the second year. At least I could afford it.
So anyway, I somehow got through to the end of my second year, the end of my second year again, and part way through my third year. I was passing my exams - just - and through several reinventions I had managed to maintain my social influencer role. Last Autumn I was getting some good views, and cash, back on YouTube. I was getting pretty good at make-up (I had an exclusive deal with one company on TikTok, and another deal with a different cosmetics company on YouTube). The videos that did well then were me with experimental hairstyles and not much in the way of clothes, putting on makeup for a few minutes, then reading out-of-copyright fiction in my patented “YouTube voice”. If you can imagine a cross between Shania Twain and Marge Simpson then… well, then you’re weird, but you’ve pretty much got it.
Then, last December, a week or so before the Christmas holidays, I went out with my friends. I had made a decent number, both girls and guys, by then. I could never quite tell whether it was my personality (which I assure you is fantastic), my influencer status, or the cash I was liberal with (it always seemed to be my round, and I didn’t mind). There were even a couple of boys who were keen on me, though I hadn’t done anything about it yet. Eight of us went out together to celebrate a birthday. It wasn’t actually anybody’s birthday that day, but Shireen had a Christmas Day birthday, and she wanted a proper party.
Now I look quite different in real life than I do online. I think the technical term is “frumpy” - jeans, trainers, fluffy jumper and a hat, or maybe a hoodie. The birthday girl had somehow convinced me to put a bit more effort in, and had helped me pick out some heels and a knee-length silver dress. Make-up was easy for me of course, and so I got dressed up and off we went to the Black Swan.
The Black Swan has several great qualities about it. One: it’s cheap. Two: it does good food. Three: it’s a couple of hundred metres from The Bar. We had a decent meal, a few drinks, and around 9 we walked to The Bar.
To be more precise, they walked. I wobbled. If you’ve watched my videos you might have seen me in heels, but did you ever see me walk in them? Didn’t think so.
The Bar is open til 3 in the morning. It looks respectable enough from the outside, especially in the afternoon; but after about 11, when most pubs close, it fills up with students drinking expensive-looking drinks. And almost every night, somebody jumps up onto a table, and then everybody’s up there dancing. In The Bar, either you hold your drink tightly, or you lose it.
I’d done this before, and I can handle my alcohol. I’ve stayed at The Bar till chuckout more than a few times, and I’ve been wobbly on the way home, but I’ve never thrown up or passed out. And so I was surprised when I woke up. The last thing I remembered was Stu saying he was tired, and Shireen replying that it wasn’t even midnight yet. Now I was lying on the hard wooden floor of my living room.
My head pounded. Daylight streamed through the window, and I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes. My hands were wet and sticky.
I looked at them. They were covered in blood.
I looked down. My heels were across the room, but I was still wearing my dress. It, also, was covered in blood, a huge stain across the chest.
Panic set in. What happened to me last night? I checked myself out and could find no injuries. Where did the blood come from?
Standing up, I realised it was worse than that. Red pools stained the wooden floor. I don’t know much medicine, but if somebody had lost this much blood, I couldn’t see how they could have survived.
I stood up, unsure whether my shaking was from the shock or the alcohol. This was when I saw a shirt on the floor behind me. White, with a subtle pattern. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it wasn’t my shirt. I lived alone, and rarely invited people back to my flat. I looked around some more. A pair of men’s black leather shoes by the door. And then I saw it.
I suppose, rather, I should say him. He was naked except for a pair of dark blue jeans, slumped in the open doorway to the kitchen, covered in blood, and very, very, dead.
I panicked then. I’m calmer now, so let’s take a moment to describe my conclusions that morning. I had got very drunk. I had met a guy. We’d come back to my flat. We’d been getting naked (the shoes and shirt weren’t bloodied). Then, for some reason, we’d had an argument or a fight. The body had stab wounds in the chest, and a pool of blood had congealed onto the wooden floor of the living room and the linoleum of the kitchen where the man collapsed. How did those stab wounds get there? I didn’t know for sure, but a quick glance at my kitchen counter showed that my sharp carving knife was missing. It was all coming together. I didn’t know if he had picked up the knife, or if I had; I didn’t know why either of us would do that. I didn’t even know his name, and later when I checked his pockets, I couldn’t find any ID.
There was a lot I didn’t know. But I’m smart. So once I was done crying on the floor (I think it was about two hours), I came up with a plan. This man was dead, and I couldn’t do anything about that. But what would the consequences be? There’s no need for my life to be ruined as well. I decided not to call the police. People go missing mysteriously all the time, he can just be another statistic and I’ll get on with my life.
The blood on Dave was mostly dry by now. (Sure, I didn’t know his name, but every bloke’s called Dave, right?) So I put a badly-fitting vest on him to soak up the remaining blood, and his shirt over the top, along with his shoes. His jeans were bloody, but they were dark, so hopefully it wouldn’t show up in low light. I couldn’t find his coat, which was odd given how cold it was, but this would have to do. I put my dress and heels in a plastic bag, and grabbed a spade that I never used. Had I missed anything?
The knife. The fucking knife. I searched all over for it, but by the time it got dark I still hadn’t found it. I knew I couldn’t delay for long, so I figured it was best to deal with Dave now, and find the knife later.
Eight o’clock in the evening came. I’m lucky I have parking right outside my house, no street cameras, and a ground-floor flat. I put the bag in the boot of my car and came back for the body.
Have you ever tried to move a dead person? It’s not easy, and I’m not exactly strong. I put my arm around his waist and eventually managed to heave him almost upright. “Come on Dave, that’s it. We’re gonna get you home. Maybe calm down on the tequila next time right? Try to keep it in, and don’t you dare vomit in my car, you sexy bastard.”
Oh come on, what do you want from me? I’m an influencer, not a stand-up comedian. And anyway, I don’t think anybody saw me during the several minutes it took to drag Dave to the passenger seat. I really wish I’d got round to buying a bigger car than the Fiat Punto I’d had since I was 18, but it was too late for that now.
There’s a place about an hour’s drive from me called Epping Forest. The Heritage Trust reckon it’s most famous for its huge tracts of unspoiled wildlife, thousands of trees, and Iron Age settlements. But around here it’s best known as the place where murderers and gang members bury bodies. So off I trundled in my 1.2 litre pensioner-mobile. I arrived around 9:30, checked Google Maps, and drove offroad into the woods.
Do you know how long it takes to dig a grave? The answer is: a long time! By dawn I’d only managed a hole about two feet. Oh, and it was my third try, because the first two times I found too much rock. Well, it would have to do. In went Dave, and I shovelled the ground back over him. I thought I could put my clothes in with him, but it was a shallow grave, and when the inevitable dog-walker finds it I didn’t want them linked back to me. I mean, there’s my DNA in there for sure, but let’s not make it too easy for them, right? So I chucked the spade in a river, and the clothes went back home with me, including the vest I’d lent him.
Now in England we have a thing called ANPR everywhere. The police can just type in a car registration and see exactly where it’s been from traffic cameras. I needed an alibi. Why had I gone to Epping Forest? For a hike of course! So I walked around for a few hours, got breakfast at a pub, and told the staff about all the wacky adventures I’d had that night. And while I was there, for the first time in a good long time, I checked my phone.
Hundreds of messages, of course. But only one sent a shiver down my spine.
Jolly_Gal_56234
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
My heart thumped. My ears started ringing. I felt dizzy, nearly passed out. How could anybody know?
Of course nobody knew. I actually got messages like this fairly often. Just some idiot trying to wind people up. They’d probably sent a dozen messages just like it, to random people, and I just blocked her. Still it rattled me. I finished my breakfast, paid up, walked back to my car, and drove home.
My flat was just as I left it. Dave was gone, but his blood was still there. I scrubbed the floor for hours, and it helped a bit, but you could still see the stains. Exhausted, I showered and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up. I hadn’t posted anything for a day and a half, so I needed to do something about that. Scrolling through my messages, one stood out like a police light.
Jolly_Gal_28473
YOU’VE BEEN A BAD GIRL 🔪
Shit. SHIT! What the fuck is going on? I stared at my phone, paralysed with indecision. When I finally snapped out of it I made sure the door was locked, and tried to come up with a plan.
I had no idea who was sending these. Maybe they didn’t really know anything. You send stupid messages like that to hundreds of people, you’re gonna come across one who’s actually done something bad, right? I poured myself a big glass of gin, decided that nobody could know anything, and made a video.
Remember that one where I didn’t speak at all, just danced for three minutes dressed like 90s Britney to 70s disco music, titled “HANGOVER DANCE”? Yeah, that’s the one. I didn’t trust myself to speak without breaking, but I could dance about as well as I ever could.
The rest of the day I answered messages, emailed my sponsors, and considered getting an agent. It’s still just me doing everything, and that Sunday afternoon, I really didn’t want to. I also spent a few hours scrubbing the wooden floor with baking soda and vinegar, and looking for the knife.
I kept getting messages from Jolly_Gal. It didn’t matter how much I blocked her, she just popped up again the next day with different numbers at the end of her username. Always all-caps, just a single sentence.
YOU DON’T DESERVE IT
YOU’LL GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU
OWN UP
DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT
Exactly one message a day, but always at different times. I decided it was a bot, and it was just coincidence that it started when it did. Until Christmas Day.
I’d been back at my parents’ for a few days, and endured the usual conversations about what I was going to do for a “proper job” after uni. They’re great, and really supportive. They’ve just never understood what an “influencer” really is, and that “playing on my phone” for six hours a day counts as work. My brother Rich gets it, but the rest of my family is honestly baffled.
Anyway, Christmas morning comes. All four of us were in the house together (my brother’s 17 so he still lives there), and we gathered together in the living room opening presents. It was a couple of weeks since the incident, and I still had nightmares every night, and those sudden panic attacks - you know, when you’re sure you’re going to be found out - but I was getting used to it. It had happened, I couldn’t change it, and I’d have to keep it secret for the rest of my life; but it was becoming a sort of background hum. I don’t know if that’s too quick, but I suppose I’ve learned to handle difficulty in my life.
Until we finished opening presents and I checked my phone.
Jolly_Gal_814385
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
And underneath, a photo of my kitchen knife, stained with blood.
I ran out of the house in tears.
Rich found me, sitting on the wooden bridge down the road from the house, my legs dangling over the river. I came here a lot when I was a teenager, so it was the first place he looked. I’d left my phone on the living room floor, and the three of them had seen the message, so he knew what triggered me. He just didn’t know the full story.
Well, I told him. I mean, not everything, obviously. But I told him how this person had been harassing me for weeks. He listened sympathetically, like he’s always done, and asked if there was anything he could do to help. I didn’t say anything; I just turned around, hugged him, and cried into his Christmas sweater.
After about half an hour we went back to the house. Rich explained things to my parents, thank goodness. I don’t think I could have handled it.
The rest of the holiday was … okay, I guess. More messages from Jolly_Gal, but only text. I made videos most days, and met all two of my old schoolfriends for drinks, movies and shopping. They’re big fans of my channels. I even took Rich out for drinks one evening, though it took us four pubs to find somewhere that wouldn’t ID him. He’s a bit of a babyface.
I did all I could not to think about Dave. I put him to the back of my mind, letting him live in the shed at the bottom of the garden of my psyche where he couldn’t disturb me. I guess that’s why it came as a shock to me, when I packed my stuff into the boot of my car to head back to uni.
There was one suitcase I’d packed but hadn’t got round to taking into the house. And peeking around the edge was that plastic bag. I’d forgotten to get rid of it!
Dad was helping me load the car, so I couldn’t do anything about it. I tucked it out of sight, finished loading up, said goodbye, and drove back to uni. It was dark when I got back, so I unpacked everything else, triple-bagged my bloody clothes, left my phone at home (no tracking me!), and walked two miles to drop them into somebody else’s wheelie bin.
The next morning I checked my messages.
Jolly_Gal_12592
WELCOME HOME
And a photo of me dumping the bag the night before.
You know what? This didn’t bother me. I mean, it did bother me, but not as much as I guess Jolly_Gal hoped. I’ve been bullied and harassed most of my life, and I’ve got pretty good at ignoring it. Sure, it was an escalation - she was actually following me - but it was just one of almost thirty messages. Jolly_Gal was hoping to destroy me. Instead, she hardened my resolve.
Clearly she had enough evidence to go to the police, but she hadn’t. And obviously she lived nearby. Now I’m no hacker, but you don’t do a job like mine without learning your way around technology. So I started sleuthing. I hadn’t bothered blocking her after the third or fourth message, so I made a list of all the messages, including timecodes. I’ve got a geology degree (almost), and we have techniques to analyse rock strata. Finally I had a genuine use for all that studying I sort of did!
Jolly_Gal was not as clever as she thought. She’d got sloppy. About half of her messages were sent at strange hours, on the hour. These were presumably posted by her bot. But the other messages were all sent between 7 and 8 am, or between 6 and 10 pm. So I guessed that she has a normal 9-5 day job, or maybe she’s a student.
Next I searched all the social media sites I could think of for Jolly_Gal or JollyGal usernames. There are a few, so please don’t go harassing people with that username! I don’t want innocent people to get hurt. After a few hours I had profiles of all Jolly_Gals. Pictures, locations, partial travel history, even birthdays for some of them. I discounted those who clearly weren’t in England, but I still had too many to narrow it down. The photos had no EXIF data so I couldn’t tell the type of phone or camera they used.
So my days became something like this: Five hours doing uni stuff, five hours working on my socials, and an hour or two learning digital sleuthing. I still went out with my friends sometimes, but made sure not to drink too much. I know how to have a good time without being drunk!
The breakthrough came by total chance. I rarely read the local papers, and just got lucky one afternoon in March. I was waiting for a friend in the pub after lectures, and there was a copy of the Post somebody had left on a table. So I flicked through it. The local council was rubbish at doing traffic. Some group of OAPS was organising a May Day celebration. And a woman had been convicted of body-snatching.
I recognised her! There was a photo of a woman in her early twenties. She’d been arrested when a corpse went missing back in December, and they’d seen her take it on the morgue’s CCTV. She’d been released on bail. “Prevention of the lawful and decent burial of a dead body” is a rare crime these days, so she hadn’t been sentenced yet; instead she was released until her sentencing, expected to be in August. Her name was Jenny Smith, which is so common as to be almost useless - that is, if you don’t have a profile of her on your laptop at home!
The report also gave her address. So I started hatching a plan. I texted my friend that I wouldn’t make it, and went home.
Jolly_Gal, or rather, Jenny, lived near me, and actually went to the same university. She had accounts on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, and a few others. Of course you can’t get Jolly_Gal by itself these days, but my profile gave all her precise usernames. I spent my evening watching her videos and reading her tweets. And then I found the smoking gun.
Jenny had posted a video on TikTok last June bitching about me. She’s way prettier than me, and yet I’d got all the subs and follows. She deserved all those sponsorship deals. It wasn’t fair that I had hundreds of thousands of subs and she only had a few thousand. She even said I was ugly and deserved to die.
Well, she got one out of two right, I guess. You can decide which one.
It all started to slot into place. Jenny was absurdly jealous of me, so she’d hatched a plan to destroy me. She must have roofied me in The Bar, got me and Dave back to my place, stabbed him, poured blood everywhere, and taken the knife home. I mean, I don’t know anything about forensic science, and I was drugged and panicked when I woke up that morning. I’d have no way of knowing that Dave had died days before he ended up in my flat!
I’d never managed to get all the blood out of the wooden flooring, and ended up putting a really misplaced rug over it. I chiselled off a sample and gave it to one of my friends who was doing a PhD in biology. It took a bit of persuading, but he ran an analysis on it.
It was pig’s blood.
Fuck Jenny. She’s not Jenny, or Jolly_Gal, she’s fucking Carrie!
She planned to destroy me. She ruined my mental health, she framed me for murder. All because I was more popular on TikTok than she was. Well, two can play at that game. I didn’t deserve what Jenny did to me. She did.
I thought about this all night, coming up with plan after plan, weighing them in my head. I wanted two things: to destroy Jenny, and to feel good about it for myself. Finally I had a course of action I’m actually rather proud of.
I decided to start slow. I did something anybody could have done - I mocked up a poster. At the top was “Jenny Smith - body snatcher!”. Underneath were two pictures, her Insta profile pic and the courthouse photo from the paper, and between them: “From This … To This!” And all her various social media handles to top it off. I printed hundreds of these, and pinned them all around the university and her street.
I’ve never thought of myself as an unkind person - God knows I’ve suffered enough myself to be sympathetic to others. But I’m willing to admit I felt a lot of satisfaction seeing her comments fill up with accusations and links to the online article. Jenny carried on making videos, but I could tell she was suffering. Good!
That was stage one. I had to up the ante for stage two. Jenny had covered me and my flat with pig’s blood, so I think we all know what’s coming next.
I pondered for a long time whether I should do it in the day or the night. But you know what they say - go big or go home. I scoped out her house for a while, and found out that she leaves her kitchen window, at the back of the house, open. Now I’m not the most athletic girl in the world, but I can be pretty determined when I want to be. So one night around 2 am I walked to her house - it’s only about half a mile - and climbed through the window.
I almost gave myself a heart attack when I knocked a glass over on the kitchen sink! Luckily it didn’t smash. I hid in a corner and waited for a full half hour before I decided Jenny hadn’t heard me. Then I snuck upstairs, slow as anything, and crept into her room.
Actually, the first room wasn’t hers. She shared with a couple of other students. Thank fuck I checked first! The second room was the right one. She was asleep, alone, in a double bed. I was so quiet that the only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest as I opened my canvas bag, gently deposited its contents onto the pillow next to her, and took a photo. It didn’t come out that well - I couldn’t use the flash - but hey, I have a souvenir!
I really wish I’d seen her face when she woke up the next morning, staring at a pig’s head. She didn’t post on her socials for a week after that, and for two days she even forgot to send me a threatening message.
I’m sorry? You think I’m done? Oh, my sweet summer child. I’ve barely begun.
Jenny had a boyfriend, Abdul. I made sure he wasn’t around when I broke in, but stage three involved him in a big way.
Abdul was also at our university, a year younger than me, a year older than Jenny. He wasn’t very active on social media, but he did tend to broadcast his activity on Twitter. And what do you know? He’s also a fan of The Bar. So I spent the next month planning my move. I bought a new clubbing dress and heels - hey, I kinda missed that outfit! - and asked around for the other thing I needed. Some things you can’t just buy in Next, or a local butcher’s, but eventually I managed it.
I got my chance one Friday in May. Abdul had loudly announced on Twitter that he was excited for his boys’ night out in The Bar, and Jenny had been gushing about a girls’ night on the whole other side of town. Perfect. I spent hours on my makeup, and got to The Bar around ten. Abdul and his mates were having a drinking contest, and leching up at the girls dancing on the tables.
I figured I had a good long while before he would be ready, so I had a couple of drinks - not too much, but like I said I can handle myself, and I knew Jenny wasn’t around - and got up on the tables myself for a bit. Then about midnight Abdul’s friend got another round in, while Abdul was in the loo. This was my chance. I walked up to their table - which had no dancing feet on it, but a heck of a lot of spilled beer - and started talking to them, saying I thought their friend was hot.
“Uh, what the fuck?” “Not a chance in hell.” “Get lost, freak!”
Lovely chaps. But they were too far gone to notice me dropping something into Abdul’s double-whiskey-and-coke. For all I know, it’s the exact same thing Jenny used on me all those months ago.
Abdul came back and downed his whiskey in one gulp. I was worried he was going to vomit it up, but he held it in and blamed his difficulty on the coke fizz. Yeah mate, sure, sure.
Not too long after, he started to fade. His friends were really taking the piss out of him for being such a lightweight. Well, when I came over, the pisstaking just got worse. I introduced myself (with a fake name, duh) and told him he was hot. Believe it or not, it was only about twenty seconds before he put his tongue down my throat. Wow, I’m not sure I even needed to bother with the roofie!
His friends, who had been so intent on being mean to me, now turned their attention to him. I suggested we ditch them and go back to his place (I’d checked, it was only five minutes’ walk sober) - and off we went.
That was the first time I had sex. I’m sure I don’t need to go into details, but we did a lot of stuff, and I enjoyed it. I’m not sure if that’s because it was good, or because he was good, or because I knew what it was all for. I was impressed that he managed to keep going as long as he did in his state, but I do feel a bit sorry for him; from his Twitter he seems like a decent guy.
When he finally fell asleep I left. I’d got what I came for - pictures. And the next day I made a new account and sent a DM to Jenny.
At first I blurred my face, or chose shots that didn’t include it. A bit of editing and I could have been anybody. I watched their messy breakup on Twitter, Jenny hurling accusations, Abdul protesting his innocence. I know this is the age of social media, but I never understood why people play these things out in public.
And then, after posting a picture a day for a few weeks (I’d taken a lot of pictures), I sent one that showed my face clearly.
Jenny had managed to restrain herself from replying before, but now she knew who I was. She was furious! The very idea that her boyfriend had cheated on her with ME, of all people, was unbelievable. And this was exactly the outcome I’d been going for.
Jolly_Gal was broken. She’d ruined her reputation. She’d lost her boyfriend. She had nightmares about pigs (okay, so I don’t know that for certain, but in my imagination she woke up screaming every night). She was possibly going to prison. And now she knew that not only was I more successful than her as an influencer, but I was the one to steal her lover. She still sent messages, at first angry, but they soon degenerated into pleading. “Please stop.” “I’m sorry.” “We can work this out.” Jolly_Gal without CAPS LOCK, it was glorious to see.
In fact it was almost perfect. Three stages of my plan were complete, and only one remained. Jenny’s sentencing was in three weeks, so I had to move quickly.
She had two flatmates, so I needed to work around them. They weren’t particularly active on Twitter, but Jenny was. I knew from her tweets that while her flatmates had gone home, she was staying on a couple of weeks after the end of term. She didn’t say why publicly, but it was for her trial. No flatmates, no boyfriend. Now was the time.
And that brings us up to date. I’ve typed this up over the last few days, and saved as a draft. The final chapter, hopefully, comes tonight.
*******
I’m at Jenny’s house, and I’ve just called the police.
I turned up at Jenny’s door just after seven. Luck was with me - she’d tweeted that she was expecting a Deliveroo takeout. And I got there first.
The idiot actually kept the knife. I’d seen it when I was in her room. When she answered the doorbell, expecting food, and saw me - ah, the look on her face was priceless.
“I’m so sorry! Please, let’s just talk. I didn’t mean it to get this -”
I stalked towards her, anger in my face. Jenny fled upstairs. Perfect! She went into her room and shut the door, but I was like the furies of Greek legend. I smashed the door in, and looked on as Jenny cowered on her bed.
In full daylight, I saw the knife took pride of place in what looked like a shrine. She had photos of me printed out, and she’d written on them “BITCH”, “WHORE”, “FREAK” and all sorts of other hateful words.
Jenny had tried to make me into a murderer, so I gave her what she wanted. I grabbed the knife and stood over her. The coward shrank into the bed, begging for forgiveness, pleading for her life. Unfortunately for her I was not inclined to oblige. I plunged the knife into her chest, just as she had done to Dave all those many months ago. Jenny whimpered like a whipped dog, and after the ninth stab (yes, I counted), she stopped.
The police are on their way. I’m definitely going to jail after this. But Jenny got what was coming to her. We could both have lived happily, but Jenny chose otherwise.
And me? I passed my degree. I have friends. And jail or not, I have a life.
Burn in hell, Jolly_Gal.

Hi all. I am rather new to VBA, and need some assistance. I have an Excel document that is set up to pull some data from a Sql database. I need to email this data out on a set schedule during the work week. After some Google research, I found some VBA code that I could adapt to my purpose. It all seemed to do exactly what I needed, but the person the email was addressed to never received it. I tried a few alternative solutions I found after googling the issue, but nothing seems to work.
Here is the code, but with any company specific stuff removed.

Sub EmailActiveSheet() Dim OutApp As Object Dim OutMail As Object Dim wb As Workbook Dim ws As Worksheet ' Set the workbook and worksheet you want to send Set wb = ThisWorkbook ' The current workbook Set ws = ThisWorkbook.Sheets("SheetName") ' Replace "SheetName" with your sheet's name ' Create a new Outlook instance Set OutApp = CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Set OutMail = OutApp.CreateItem(0) ' 0 represents a mail item ' Compose the email With OutMail .Display .To = "recipient@address.com" ' Replace with the recipient's email address .Subject = "email subject " & Format(Date, "MM/dd/yyyy") ' Replace with your email subject .Body = "Good afternoon," & vbNewLine & vbNewLine & "generic text inserted" ' Replace with your email body .Attachments.Add wb.FullName ' Attach the entire workbook ' .Attachments.Add ws.UsedRange.Address ' Attach only the used range of the worksheet Application.Wait (Now + TimeValue("0:00:05")) Application.SendKeys "%s" Application.Wait (Now + TimeValue("0:00:01")) End With ' Clean up Set OutMail = Nothing Set OutApp = Nothing End Sub 

The current code reflects the most recent attempted fix, which was to use Sendkeys, and .Display to send the email instead of just .Send. Both solutions result int he email going to my Sent box, but never being received. It does seem to send when I address the email to myself. Just not anyone else for some reason. Any help is much appreciated.

tw: infertility; pregnancy loss; sexual assault; ptsd.
sorry about the length but I really needed to let this out. I haven't been able to really say the whole story like this. I'm stuck awake anyway because I accidentally took the daytime medication dose instead of my sleep medication so I thought I'd try.
What happened to me is so insane that I still don't really understand it. I can't believe it, or maybe I'm just still in shock. I keep going over and over it.
I have pretty severe ADHD as well as non-verbal learning disorder. I've never been in a real "adult" romantic relationship before, and once I hit 29 I started thinking seriously about trying to have a child by myself. I'd done a lot of work on myself since college, and I was finally in a place where I thought I would just about be able to afford it with some (offered) family help with childcare, etc. I had no reason to believe I'd be infertile, but the first IUI didn't work and a blockage was discovered in my right fallopian tube. The fertility doctor refused to try another IUI unless I had that tube removed, so in June of 2022 that surgery took place.
Unfortunately, it was discovered during the surgery that both of my tubes were blocked, so both of them were removed, which I was informed of directly upon waking up from surgery. While I afforded nearly all of the IUI by myself, there was no way I could afford IVF. I agonized for months, all my life I had been terrified of infertility and I had hoped by starting earlier than most I could have avoided it. Finally left my job. I didn't even want to leave my job, it had given me a ton of confidence when I was able to thrive there (for the most part). I was proud of myself for leaving at the time, since I'm generally quite passive and nervous about that level of risk with anything to do with money.
The new job was with a call center for a financial company. It was absolute havok on my anxiety but I held out as long as I could. I made it from November 2022 to August 11th, 2023. In July, I did the egg retrieval, meaning I was on some level of fertility medication from the end of May to the end of August. We got 14 eggs, and 9 embryos. My parents even paid for chromosomal testing, so I ended up with 7 genetically normal 5-day blastocysts, 4 boys and 3 girls. The doctor told me flat-out, "you will never have to have another egg retrieval." It was literally the first uplifting news, the first time anything with right at all, since I started trying to have a child at all.
However, I was secretly mentally cratering. My depression from the continued obstacles in my fertility "journey" (lmao what the fuck ever) mixed with my anxiety from work plus the fertility hormone cocktail meant I called out sick pretty much as often as I could and even when I couldn't. I was shaking like a leaf the whole time I had a call come in. I thought the abilitty to work from home would make up for the shitty job but it absolutely DID NOT and in fact made it worse. I tried so hard to just stick it out, I tried to get through with edibles to calm me down, I had my aniexty medication dosage increased (after my meds had been stable for years which was huge for me). None of it worked, and in the middle of Jine, I just started calling in sick every single day. I was in physical pain from the anxiety and the depression was keeping me bedridden so much that in February I hurt my back enough that I needed physical therapy. But I was so fixated on just keeping their excellent insurance that I just kept silent to anyone who could have helped me and pretended everything was fine so I could go through this without anyone talking me down.
Somehow through a combination of doctor's notes about my back and the company being very heavily automated I still hadn't been fired by the company. I went further, the embryo transfer was done on August 2nd of '23, and I still don't know why I did this except I was stuck on the idea that if I had the transfer done before they fired me, it would still be covered under insurance. Like I could just sneak a baby through with me like an office stapler.
Even the embryo transfer felt ominous. I had told the clinic that I didn't want to choose the biological sex, because having a choice at all made me uncomfortable (it felt so strange that I had to consciously choose a RACE for the baby, I was like.....I guess white?). I told them just to use the best quality one they had. But then on the morning of the transfer, I got a call from the clinic that the first embryo died during the unfreezing process. That's a somewhat rare thing to happen, but they said they would just unfreeze the next best one.
The embryo was biologically female. "I wanted a girl!" came out of my mouth immediately. I asked, and the embryo that died was a boy. I felt like this girl was meant to be a little bit, it felt so right to have her there. I had slight pregnancy symptoms pretty early (nausea out of nowhere), and I just felt a hundred percent sure that it had worked. I was right. On August 9th I was confirmed to be pregnant. On August 11th I finally lost my job.
Finanacially this is absolutely the worst possible option. I still don't know why I did it, but it felt so right and I felt so connected to the world for the first time in months. I knew how bad this was, I knew I'd been ignoring my mental health and it was out of control, I knew it was wayyy too early to think about having a child, but I just didn't care in the face of that good feeling, I'd never experienced anything like it before. I just started applying to jobs and thinking about sacrifices I could make to get us through this.
On August 29th, I went to the clinic for what was supposed to be my final ultrasound. I threw up for the very first time on the way out the door, and honestly was grateful for it. The ultrasound tech was very quiet, and spoke somewhat limited English. She spent a long time looking, and apologizing for not finding it, then saying she was going to get the doctor. I thought maybe she just needed some help finding it, but a large part of me knew, even then.
The pregnancy wasn't there, because it was in the stump of the right fallopian tube that had caused trouble in the first place. I had a tubal pregnancy with no fallopian tubes. The ooctor said "this shouldn't have happened" like six times and actually told me I should think about legal action. That ended up not going anywhere, no law firms seemed interested in taking my case.
I needed emergency surgery, and I had it at about 12 hours later on August 30th. I was absolutely stunned and felt just....deeply main-character-but-in-a-mean-book. I couldn't get over this weird bad luck, I'd prepared myself for the IVF not working, or for a miscarriage, but certainly not the one thing that had supposedly been prevented. I felt like it was karma for me being so stupid. I still feel like that. I put everything I had into that one basket, retirement savings and credit included.
I spent about 3 weeks in mourning, mostly in bed, getting very high on edibles almost the entire time. I was just getting out of the deepest depression and had actually just arranged for a job interview when my apartment was broken into. At about four am on September 23rd, I was lying in bed watching youtube videos when a stranger got into my bed with me. I tried to fight him, but he had a gone and pistol whipped me about 5-6 times, opening up a very long gash in my head. He proceeded to rape me several times while I was heavily bleeding. He would not leave afterward, and I kept looking at the gun while sitting on the edge of my bed. I finally told him I was going to the hospital, put on a shirt, slipped on some flipflops & left.
I drove myself to the hospital, they sent the police who found him still in my apartment, literally red-handed. He was still in my bed. I mostly just remember being very concerned for my cats and desperately wanting to rinse the blood out of my hair and off of my face. My mom and I had to wait for a few hours after being discharged, and we went to Target to get me some clothes & then to Olive Garden because I asked for it for some reason. It was the most surreal feeling, I kept thinking that I thought the worst thing in my life had already happened to me.
Since then I've been a wreck. I have full blown PTSD, I'm basically a recluse now. I am on edibles almost every day, my ADHD medication doesn't work anymore, and I am now living in my parents' unfinished basement with my cats. Personal hygeine is even worse and I'm barely able to keep myself sort of fed on something. I actually went to a job interview on September 29th, less than a week later, with two black eyes and a bandaged forehead. And I got the job! It must have been a pity invite. Almost immediately the PTSD was too much for me to be in an office environment, and I lost that job too. I have intense panic whenever I need to make any decisions because I'm convinced they're all wrong, I'm also convinced that my mental health will never be good enough to try to have kids ever again, and last month I got a letter letting me know that my payment is due for storage for my five remaining embryos (which I anticipated and was expecting, but the letter also announced that the price went up over 200% this year, lmao). The man who asssaulted me was found incompetant to stand trial last week.
And now it's fucking mother's day weekend.