What to say birthday card for deceased mom

It’s rather amusing than irritating seeing my ex’s mom message me randomly, on the night of mother’s day. Nakakatawa, to be honest. 😂
For context, her son and I broke up 3 years ago and they all thought that my ex is Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. What they all believed in was I left him because he didn’t have enough time for me when he was in Law school, but the truth is he was somewhat cheating all along and saving other girls’ photos in his phone—including our friends and workmates.
Anyway, I kept my silence despite all the trauma and parinig his family has been doing in social media. I unfriended everyone for my peace of mind. They must’ve kept updated through my public accounts.
Fast forward to last Sunday, I received a very lengthy message from my ex’s mom saying it was good to see that I have moved on already (even if I had naman na waaaay back) coz her son is so happy with his love life na right now. I mean, please, for all I care. Lol.
She also said despite of what I did to her son, she’s forgiving me—the forgiveness I didn’t even ask for to begin with—and she was “happy” to see me now married and pregnant. I doubt about the latter statement coz the tone was really sarcastic.
Lastly, she said that she was messaging me because she wanted for all of us to have some peace of mind, that there was no need to reply, and ended with “good luck and good riddance.” Like, huh? 🤔
Ang tagal ko nang walang radar sa kanila and I’m genuinely happy with my life now to even bother whatever they’ve been saying behind my back—and now she’s disturbing my peace? 😆 So you’re keeping tabs on me?
After all this time, I still live rent-free in your minds. Please lang, Tita, leave me alone. 🙃😂

When you felt that you were losing interest in your partner, what did you do? I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years and I don’t know, I’m finding it hard to want to continue staying in a relationship with him. I feel like I can’t be myself around him because when I am, he takes it the wrong way and it results in us verbally arguing or being petty. Whether I try joking with him or trying to have fun, he takes everything so seriously and it kills my vibe. We used to do things in the beginning that we bonded over tremendously, whether that was playing video games together, always being on FaceTime, sending each other songs or memes to laugh at, but now we hardly do so because whenever it happens, it results into us arguing. He has a very tough and toxic living situation back at home that I think has been affecting the way he communicates with me, though he says it’s not and would never project. We live an hour apart from each other and I’m the only one with a license and car to go see him. He basically can’t save or do anything for himself because his mom takes all his work money as “rent”. I know we’re both young (21), but I am so focused on building myself and my future to be successful and attain the dreams and goals I have set for myself while for him, the only things he wants for himself is to “survive”. I’ve tried motivating him, helping him do better to get out of the situation he’s in, but it all feels like no use. I don’t talk to my friends about the negative, or not so good parts, of my relationship because I’m self-conscious of people knowing my business. But I think that may have been doing more harm to myself than good. I just need words of advice from people who have been in this scenario before. Is it because we’re an hour away from each other that’s making things even harder? I don’t want to finally move in with him and then feel like this is something I don’t want to do anymore. I also don’t want to ruin this because this love feels real and authentic, not lust filled or terrible like the other horror stories on what dating in our community is like.

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting)
Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key)
Vagner: Charles?
Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?
Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there.
Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.
Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff.
Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet?
(Charles shakes his head saying no)
Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now?
Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about.
Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone.
Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vagner: It will. I have faith in you.
(The cat hopes on Charles)
Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us.
(Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes)
(A commercial plays)
Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.
(The tv suits off)
Alice: So, what'd ya' think?
Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?!
Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...Maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...Ummm...
Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad".
Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious!
Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.
Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.
Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it.
Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!
(A demon on a sofa raises her hand)
Vagner: What?
Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?
Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star.
Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.
Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alice: Haha! Never going to happen!
Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!
Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes...
(Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling)
Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man...
Charles: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away)
Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby.
(Charles breathes and answers the phone)
Charles: Hello? Mom?
Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here?
Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can!
Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here?
(The camera goes to Hisky at the bar)
Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me?
Niffter: I like being forced!
Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff.
Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers?
Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat.
Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty.
Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to.
Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?
Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder)
Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive.
Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I can! Totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit!
Vagner: Ahh! What?!
Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here!
(Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is)
Vagner: What's going on?
Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply)
Vagner: But... But...But the extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after...
Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan!
Vagner: Charles, hold on.
Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change!
Vagner: It's just a meeting.
Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.
Vagner: This could be bad.
Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them.
Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street.
Vagner: Is he...
Angela: Oh, he's dancin'.
Vagner: Ugh, no.
Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss!
Demon: Go fuck yourself!
Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul!
Charles: Hello!
Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes!
Charles: Uh, excuse me...
Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role!
Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well!
Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change!
Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change!
Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange!
Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this...
Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire...
Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burning my soul!
Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it!
Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole!
Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds!
Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts!
Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker!
Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper)
(Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room)
Charles: Hello? Is anyone here?
(The lights turn on)
Eve: 'Sup?
Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you.
Eve: Yeah, I know.
Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand)
Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand)
(Charles hand passes through Eve's hand)
Charles: Ahh!
Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that?
(Luther shaves his head in yes)
Eve: Good shit!
Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here?
Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew.
Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth)
Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.
Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs)
Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!
(Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby)
Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice?
(Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: A video camera.
Alice: Hmmm. (Snaps her fingers)
(A video camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: All right, let's do this!
(Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar)
Vagner: And...Action!
Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?"
Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!"
Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..."
Angela: "Oh yes!"
Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!"
Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?
Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit!
Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh!
Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle)
Vagner: Hisky, come on!
(Meanwhile, Charles is bored)
Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you like a drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?
Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much.
Eve: I know. I fucking rock.
Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am.
Eve: Call me Pussymaster.
Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl.
Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh.
Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger revolutionary, a...A genius!
Eve: I maen, your words, babe.
Charles: Who would really her name on something.
Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Charles: No! Our other biggest problem.
Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks at the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm...
(At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it saverel times)
Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay?
Niffter: Got it. I'm ready.
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action!
(Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused and he keeps staring weirdly)
Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera)
(Niffter smiles again)
Niffter: (Giggles) How was that?
Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.
Niffter: Okay!
Vagner: Action. (Turns on the camera)
(Niffter stares deeply at the camera)
Angela: You're doing great, Vagina!
Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post.
Angela: Do you even know what that means?
Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out!
(In the lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv)
Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
(Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side)
Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?
Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here?
Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job!
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alice, the egocentric piece of shit that...
(Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down)
Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio.
Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shit ass?! (Turns around and walks away)
Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.
Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.
Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice.
Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it)
Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers)
(Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes)
Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.
(Meanwhile)
Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"!
Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!
Eve: (Normal) Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year?
Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am.
Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Luther)
Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right?
Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.
Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.
Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.
Luther: Angels don't make mistakes.
Charles: You really think that?
Luther: I know that.
Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life.
Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
(Charles shrinks back)
Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it...
Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in...
Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time!
Charles: (Normal) Okay?
Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again!
Charles: Okay, but...
Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath!
Charles: (Nervously) Hehe...
Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry!
Charles: Actually, if you take a look...
Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever whether you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot!
Charles: Where all these people come from?
Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot!
(Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head)
Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination!
Charles: What?!
Eve: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Holds Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar)
Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door)
(Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel)
Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen?
Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um...
Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air.
Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!
Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one?
Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself.
Charles: That's...That's amazing.
Angela: Shh! It's starting!
Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot...
(The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains)
Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita?
Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie?
Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked!
(The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming)
Angela: Wait...What? Why?!
(A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship)
Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!
Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark)
(The end credits start playing)

Hi, folks! I'm F20, and a struggling second year nursing student (well). My mom just saw my recent shared post on my fb account. It was the first post I've shared in a while. I got offended because instead of cheering me up, she commented. "Mag-aral ka na nga lang, finals niyo di ba". And I was really embarrassed that time because what if somebody already saw the comment.Tapos akalain na baka hindi ako nag-aaral ng mabuti. Tbh, I'm just done studying for hours at that moment and I already felt exhausted. I was just taking my time to rest kase that's my only way to freshen my mind. Ewan ko ba, pagdating kay mama I was either sensitive or afraid of the words she might say. Pag-aaral na nga lang daw ginagawa ko. Which I don't know is good or am I just used to this routine.
Ps: After my mom commented and I saw it, I deleted that post and deactivate my account. I also sent my mom a dm.

she's said and done alot of upsetting and baffling things in the past (things she's either shut down, apologized for or that we talked through), but after today's session, I feel like she's not meeting me where I am and it hurts
today we talked about about my interpretation of love and feeling unloved/unsupported by those in my life - namely my family. there was a point in the session where I told her how my mom and sister have told me I have negative energy and she said I dont have negative energy and that I'm just passionate about my feelings and the things I care about or something idk. then later on, I told her how upset I was that my abusive ex was a speaker and presenter at my school senior awards ceremony last week despite me and multiple girls telling the school the things he's done and him being a junior and us being seniors?!
she was like "oh that's unfortunate and not right. I've heard alot of cases of teen girls experiencing stuff like that at school because boys don't understand consent or might think she didn't say no or tell me to stop so it's okay" then I said "I DID tell him no multiple times and he kept doing it" and she said "okay, I understand that and it's not right that the school failed to protect you, it's unfair and you didnt deserve that". then she was talking about how I only have 2 days left to graduate and I'll never have to see/worry about him or any of the people at school again. I told her that that's not what I wanna hear right now
she asked what do I wanna hear? I told her "I'm sorry you went through that, what he did was wrong and you didn't deserve that at all". she rolled her eyes (something she did multiple times throughout our session which REALLY hurt) and said "I just told you that what happened to you was wrong like 10 mins ago and we've talked about this situation before". I told her that I dont wanna hear "you only got 2 days left and never have to worry about that again. me not being at school doesnt make the situation any less traumatic or upsetting". a part of me is also secretly worried I might see him again but I didn't tell her this cause I KNEW she'd shut that down too. she told me I need to learn that "just because you get a response from people that you didn't want or expect in your head doesn't mean they aren't tryna support you" which is true and a lesson I DO need to learn but that doesnt apply here. she's all big talk about "client first", "do what's best for the client" and when I tell her what I want and need from her in that moment she's getting an attitude and going back and forth with me wtf
then near the end of the session, she was saying that I need to put myself first and do things for myself cause she doesnt want me to be falling apart and a mess while everyone else in my family is happy and blissfully unaware. she told me I need to find a private space in my house to cool down so I don't send her alot of texts when I'm upset. that was in reference to a long wall of text I sent her on saturday about how much grief and sadness I felt about the state of me and my mom's relationship. I felt hurt by her comment and told her "that message was important to me, I said alot of serious things to me in it" and she said "I know..." and I continued "the things I said were important to me and they were built out of alot of hurt" and she rolled her eyes again, sighed and said "I knowww" and she just stopped talking for like 20 secs so I just hung up the call 😐
like I said, her doing questionable, hurtful or whatever things isn't new at all, but at this point I seriously question the state of our theraputic relationship. I've went over it millions of times in my head and I might have to move on even tho it's hard to truly let her go. and idk maybe I was being dramatic this session but all I've been putting up with recently is so painful emotionally and physically and I'm tired of the toxic positivity I tend to get as a response. and she has a tendency to explain, conclude or rationalize what I'm putting up with sometimes that I feel like I should stop talking about it idk

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

So this is a long one. Like, I'm going back over it and damn. This is longer than I thought it would be. Throwaway account, I've only made one other post to this relating to what's going on. Instead of updating the other post, I figured I'd make a separate one about the whole shit show I experienced, and the shit circus I uncovered and avoided. I'll try to keep this in as chronological an order as I can.
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.

My mom has severe hypothyroidism and high diabetes. She started having hallucinations about a year back and that's when I took her to a psychiatrist with a lot of difficulty. They wrote a medicine which has the side effect of increasing the blood sugar. So the doctor also ordered to do blood sugar tests etc. That's how we came to know that she has very high sugar levels. 400+.
She's someone who never takes care of her health and doesn't go for regular checkups or anything.
Whenever she's at our house she starts hallucinating that the neighbours are talking bad things about her or is constantly watching her and criticizing her about everything she's doing. She gets super angry with the voices and she sometimes comes out of the kitchen and starts scolding the neighbours loudly. She even talks loudly at our home saying "neighbours can hear everything we talk about why talk in low voice at all".
And I have tried for months to convince her that she's hallucinating and this isn't real but she's not ready to believe this at all. She thinks that I'm against her and neighbours are actually talking about her. If I fight with or say anything to her at all she will say that now the neighbours heard it and now they'll use it against her and spread bad rumours about her.
But whenever I take her to the city I'm living in she doesn't hallucinate. No neighbours no problems! Why is that ? If she has schizophrenia she should be hallucinating here too ? Or can this condition be that specific? So it's like her own brain is trying to convince her this neighbor thing is real by shutting up whenever she's away from the house?! I mean can this disease act like an evil alien controlling her?! It's so confusing and difficult for me. I have ADHD and I'm not diagnosed and I don't know when I will get to take any medicines that will help me with my executive dysfunction. Because of that I'm not able to monitor her whether she's taking her diabetes and thyroid medicines properly or not. If I leave it to her she starts skipping it and forgetting about it. So far I have been monitoring her for a week or so finally with the help of a pillbox and all. But I honestly don't know how long it will work. She's still not taking any meds for the hallucinations and is completely against psychiatrists because of the stigma in my country.
Is there any way I can convince her to finally start taking the medicines for schizophrenia ?! Because we both need to move back into our home soon. I had to leave my job because of my toxic manager and we can't afford to pay rent and stay here in this city for long. I'm so scared of what will happen when we move back home and she starts hallucinating again.. At home because of this she starts getting super stressed and that's further making her sugar levels worse it seems.
Her sugar level was 500 last month and she was suicidal and had written something on a paper which wasn't much sensible apart from her saying that "a woman needs justice, I'm being targeted by the neighbours" and religious chants etc also with this statement that "suicide attempts are going on because of lack of support". Now I don't know if this means she saying that the neighbours are trying to attack her or if she's trying to do that. This terrified me to my core and I convinced mom to come to my city to help me pack and all. She was seriously not well. My grandparents and relatives aren't even ready to understand that she's going through a serious crisis. Even if they kinda understand they still don't care enough to help her much. I feel all alone.
I consulted a psychiatrist and she didn't even prescribe me anything for ADHD or depression. ADHD diagnosis seems so far away. She wrote me clonazepam to help with my sleeping issues. I haven't started taking it and I don't know if it will be of much help.
I have had many panick attacks especially every time I see her sugar test results. I feel like my days are numbered too. She's my only family. If something happens to her I'm gone too. I'll never be able to forgive myself. But this situation is hell. I can't ever seem to convince her about this. And if she doesn't start taking medicines it will all go to hell.

I (f, 25) have this friend (f, 26) that I’ve know since elementary. We didn’y begin to be friends until eighth grade, though. We went to different high schools, but still managed to grow our friendship and became best friends. When it came time for dating, she chose questionable guys. And anytime there was a new boyfriend, i felt pushed in the back, hardly talked to, and when we did hang out, he ALWAYS had to be there. It was hard to hide my hurtness, so rather than fight, i just kind of let it happen.
Everytime she’d get a new boyfriend, i saw her mentality hidden, and she would become a whole different person. It’s like she would take on the personality/persona of the boyfriend at the time. And each boyfriend, slowly started to not like me overtime (i would have the feeling but then after every break up, she would also confirm it and would say she didnt know why). She started dating one guy, and i would catch her telling little lies to me and started really questioning everything. One day, i caught her in a lie around these new friends (all friends of her boyfriend) and i kind of snapped and we got into an arguement and i finally told her i couldnt do it anymore. We went about a year or so of not communicating.
We eventually started hanging out again, and it was like going back to the beginning. I truly missed it. But then her energy would feel off. It was like she was always trying to one up me, or make me feel jealous about things that really meant nothing to me. With every boyfriend, it was like she would tell me all this stuff theyd do for her, and downplay my boyfriend (even when i knew she was always fighting with her boyfriends). She would go on and on about how so-and-so was so amazing, and then when i would talk about my boyfriend, it’s like she wasnt really listening. It’d always come back to her boyfriend. If i ever had anything to say, it was always her one upping me. And it was still, even as adults, could never have one-on-one time together. Her boyfriend at the time would always have to be there.
Anyway, she started dating someone new in say, 2019. He was older and very out of character for her. He seemed like the nicest boyfriend she’s had, actually. Again, she started morphing into him. They moved in together within a handful of months. I started dating someone in 2020. We went on trips together and hung out, the four of us, often. My relationship was thriving- i was in love, we did not fight, we were always laughing and having fun (we’re now getting married soon!) Anytime she’d see something he’d do to/for me, she’d point it out to her boyfriend and say “see! “So and so does that for her!” He seemed to get annoyed really quick. Their bad times really outshined their good. They dated for four years? And especially towards the end, it was nonstop fighting. I hated that for her, and would try to give advice.
I then found out he would dangle marriage and kids over her head. He planned proposals (once i was somewhat involved in, several times, from what i heard, that i didnt know about) and then over the littlest of things, he would say to her “you know, i was going to propose to you (tonight/this day coming up), but you just ruined it for both of us.” I was appalled. All she had ever wanted was to be a wife and mom. She has self image issues from being overweight and little confidence. I kept urging her to end it because not only was she miserable, but who does that to a person!!!? I even found out that he did try ending things a couple times, but she would fight him on it and theyd stay together (dont ask me why.)
So i distanced myself again. I tried urging her to get maybe a therapist for herself, or to talk to her parents… Or anyone for that matter. I couldn’t continue to lot her lifestyle and poor choices around myself, and I know she needed me, but I tried as much as I could to help, and it went left unheard. When I got engaged, my fiancé was hesitant to reach out to them, and invite them to the engagement party that happened the night of. He left it up to me, which was smart of him. I texted her the news (immediately) and told her to come out and celebrate with us, it took her a while to text me back, but she ended up declining it, saying that her boyfriend did not like the place that we were going to. I was beyond hurt their relationship ended up ending a couple months after that.
About a month after their relationship ended he got a new girlfriend and within a few weeks, the new girlfriend was pregnant. I knew that crushed her because that’s all my friend ever wanted after about a month of finding out that his new girlfriend was pregnant. She got a new boyfriend that she met on the Internet no no disrespect I know people find each other that way, but she told me that she was on the Internet looking for a roommate not a boyfriend. They ended up being friends with benefits and my fiancé, and I met him a couple months into their Situationship. We both couldn’t believe how much him and the old boyfriend had in common. They were basically the same person except he is in his 30s and has five young kids.
Me and my friend basically drifted apart again, and from what I saw on line, she was basically taking over as a mother for these kids. I didn’t know that they were dating until the fall.
I just saw online this morning that he proposed to her yesterday, less than a year or knowing each othedating. I am happy for her, but my heart kind of sunk because the one time that I met him a year ago, I saw the same patterns of her, losing her self, and slowly morphing into him.
No, my wedding shower is next week. I invited her because I knew that if I didn’t, she would come after me. I am inviting her parents and her to the wedding in a couple months. I had no intention of inviting her boyfriend because I only met him once and I know nothing about him. As shitty as it sounds, I was going to invite her to the wedding and then kind of cut ties. She is no longer somebody that I want or feel comfortable in my life. I know that her now fiance not being invited will cause another issue. I almost look at is as a blessing in disguise.
Shes told me countless times that id be her maid of honor (half because her sister distanced herself from her years ago because my friend (and ex boyfriend) both talked to and treated her poorly, and because from what i knew, was her only real friend. I dont feel comfortable standing up next to something that i know nothing about. After all the years of me and my life/accomplishments being diminished… I feel we arent even friends.
I guess… How do i go about this?

So, I can't fight TOWW or go into the crusade area due to a bug (I have reported it and such) so what should I do while waiting for a patch? I do have access to the other areas (Lighthouse, Midas cave, etc)
Midas cave: I've 'donated' as many followers as it lets me to Midas, and cant find anything else to do in that area, but I saw the achievement saying to get your gold back fron him? Can that be done before killing TOWW, and if so, how?
Pilgrim's Passage: I've repaired it fully and have finished all the fishing stuff.
Lonely shack: I've played knucklebones with all of the characters there and now Im not sure what to do
Smuggler's sanctuary: Can't donate the eye, as I can't go into the crusade area.
Spore Grotto:

I have Sozo as a part of my cult so idk what to do now

I've bought all tarot cards and follower forms from these areas. What do I do 😔

I need advice. I have a friend that’s having problems with co-parenting. She resides in Wisconsin. She has her daughter(1 yr old) Sunday 4pm - Friday, 4pm. The dad only has the daughter Friday 4pm - Sunday 4pm. Last month, the dad decided to move out of state(Minnesota). The dad sent a text to the mom the week he was moving telling her that he was moving out of state and for her to care for the daughter for the meantime. Since he was not following court terms with his days she filed contempt but the court says that since they don’t know his address they cannot serve him. He has been sending her messages the past week about picking up the daughter on Fridays but when she asks him where the drop off/pick up will be on Sunday he tells her it will be in Minnesota and that if she doesn’t want to pick up the daughter he can just have her for a month and drop her off a month later. She has told him no so he hasn’t actually picked her up. She doesn’t know what to do. He’s been threatening her with telling the court that she’s made death threats on the daughter because when they were still together he would mentally and physically abuse her. She messaged his sister on one of those bad days saying she was going to unalive herself with the kid. The sister screenshot the message and sent to him so he uses it to threaten her. He also pays only $300 a month for child support which I think is really little. She has the child 5 days out of the week. He doesn’t pick up the kid most weekends because he says that he pays her to watch the child. Please help advise.

So about 7 weeks ago I met this girl. We stumbled across each other on social media and she asked me for marriage. My 17 year old brain hastily said yes without any thinking. We got to know each other and truly she is on deen on very religious. She also has very good qualities and characteristics and an amazing person. I come to find out she lives in Europe while I live in the US and she is a year older and that we are different races. We kept talking for a couple days and yes I know it is haram but we both couldn’t control ourselves. After a couple days I say we should stop talking and see what Allah has in plan. I got so attached to her that within that same day I said I couldn’t and we kept talking. Another week passes by and I said we should stop actually this time. After a lot of tears that day I was able to somewhat calm down do my prayers tahajjud and istikhara to see if she is good for me. Suddenly in the middle of the night I get this claustrophobic feeling and I knew something was wrong with her. I break no contact once again and almost 12 hours later she replies saying how she was in the hospital the entire day with a really bad fever. I took this as a good sign as I knew something was wrong with her and felt it especially after istikhara. We go on talking again and our feelings for each other get stronger. She also does istikhara a couple days later and right after she jokingly asks her mom if she can marry outside her culture. Her mom got extremely mad at her. That same day another family came by and dropped her a proposal. We both acknowledged this as a asnwer to her istikhara but neglected it as I got a good sign and she looked to have gotten a negative. Fast forward a couple weeks she tries to explain to her parents about me and they completely destroyed her emotions because they don’t like me and rather want her to marry the guy who dropped the proposal. After calming her down she went to sleep. A couple days later I had an operation and while under anesthesia I told my mom I liked this girl and she later talked to me saying she wont allow it due to my age and me still being in school and not having a job which is completely letly understandable. Few weeks pass and she gets a dream. She dreamt of me and her drowning indicating we sre drowning in sin and awe agreed to go on no contact that weekend. The next day She dreamt about henna on her hands and feet, adopting an orange cat and watering a plant back to life. After she did some research according to Ibn Sirin they all indicate marriage soon. She also dreamt of adopting a pair of twins a boy and a girl which indicated a person you have a close relation with will not lead to marriage. This really scared us but the next day we went on no contact again having faith in Allah. The first couple days were hard but it got better and until last week. She told me how she said yes to that guys proposal. She met with him a couple times and her parents and siblings like him. She also told me how she tried really hard almost everyday trying to convince her dad about me and I have been open to talk to her parents from the beginning. Her father was so furious one time he almost broke her phone. She is extremely scared of her parents so she said she won’t pursue me anymore. She gave me a description of what that guy was like and from what she said the guy does sound good. He has a job same race older and on deen. Although we both promised each other that we would wait it looks like Allah had other plans. From my time with her I stopped bad habits like watching 18+ videos, lowered my gaze always, stoppped cursing, stopped masturbation, started tahajjud everyday, not missing a single sunnah prayer, reading quraan everyday. She always provided me with hadiths and verses from the quran when i needed help she was always there for me when i needed help. I truly love her for the sake of Allah. She made me a better person and my heart aches so much for her. This weekend I stopped talking to her as I felt guilty for talking to someones soon to be wife. Before we parted ways I asked her if she still had feelings for me she didn’t say yes or no rather said she feels some type of way for the guy that hes a good person and has a stable job and will take care of her. After that we parted ways and said Fi Amanillah. It hurts so much because I truly loved her we even gave sadaqah in each others name. I just accepted that guy is her naseeeb and I cannot do anything about it and whenever I go into sujood it is always her name that comes first. I wish I had ended it when she got her signs from her istikhara. I do good sometimes but then all of a sudden i go into such deep sadness because of all the memories that just flood in. Shes a great person she even said before we part she will make dua for my health and that I find someone better than her and I do trust Allah that he has something better planned for me but in the moment it hurts so much please give me advice i read quran and do extra salah but it still hurts. Shes such an angel I cant imagine living knowing shes with someone else. Jazakallah Khair

Hey guys! I need to come up with $750 in 15 days or less, so I am brainstorming options to do it. I will have substaintal money rolling in from an internship after those 15 days, but until then, I am sort of broke. Please read my story and see if you have any ideas.
Some credit background: I am a 21 Y/O engineering student from the US trying to get a credit card by the end of the month (~15 days). My credit score is 763 on TransUnion, 761 on Equifax (according to Credit Karama) and 791 FICO Score (according to my KeyBank portal). I walked into my local branch of Keybank and asked for a credit card. We did the application right there and they seemed enthusiatic about it. Of course, I get an email saying I was not approved. I called them back and they said some reasoning about co-owning my current credit card with my dad. They said they wanted more of a credit history.
So I asked them the age-old question "How do I build my own credit history if I can't get a credit card from my own bank?". They told me to look elsewhere.
So I'm hoping you guys can help with some advise and/or tips on where I can go from here or set some expectations for me. Here is my banking history, all with KeyBank:

• Opened up a joint "Hassle-free" debit account with my dad at age 16, converted it to be sole owner at age 18.
• Opened up a joint "Key Cashback" credit card with my dad at age 18, I use it occasionally for big and small purchases and it always has been paid off in full without fees. (I suspect this is the main factor towards my credit score, but I'm not sure).
• Opened up a joint "Key Smart Checking" Account at age 18 to be used as sort of a "college fund" for rent and textbooks and that sort of thing.
  
• No debt/loans, was lucky enough to get a full-tuition scholarship for college
  

I need to pay a lawyer for a traffic ticket and had some christmas/bday money saved up over the years so I paid them half of the $1,500 and need to pay them the rest by the end of the month. They said they don't do any kind of payment plans. I can't tell my parents or ask for money from my friends, so I gotta do it myself. I start a good engineering internship next week, but my first check won't come in time to pay the laywer.
I figured a good short term solution could be my own credit card, where I can take advantage of the intro 0% APR rates where I can use my internship money to pay off the lawyer charge almost immediately. Then I could use the card regularly to build a bit of credit history. Unfonunetly, my own bank denying me a card threw me off and now I'm scrambling.
I have a great credit score, but I wanted to know if I should even bother applying for other cards if my own bank wouldn't give me one.
My main questions or concerns:

• I don't mind my credit score going down a little bit if I apply for a credit card and get accepted, but if I don't get accepted then it will have been a complete waste, should I even bother?
• Are there any other non-sleazy ways to get a small loan or cash advance? Its only $750.
• IF I do find a credit card that I get accepted into, would I even get it in time to use it?
• IF I did get it in time and I can use it, what if my credit limit was only $1,000 or $1,500? Would using $750 of that limit be a huge deal?

I am currently looking at the American Express Blue Cash Everyday Card, and some other similar ones. Hoping to hear some ideas/advice in the comments. If you think I'm hopeless, you can let me know but please be nice about it, I'm just doing my best.

TLDR; apparently my bad physical and mental health synergy lead to me to a life of absolute despair, I have tried EVERYTHING for years to leave opiates but it seems lmpossible.
My name is Mac. This is originally a letter I sent to my confident so there might be some missing context, feel free to ask.
Tramadol is THE mexican opiate and works the same way, its metabolized into morphine. I have had 2 nose surgeries to improve my breathing one of them was the worst physical pain Ive felt, thats when I tried opiates.
I suffer from chronic rhinitis so my inefficient breathing often causes nightmares and physical pain. Ive gotten as much professional help as possible, both mental and physical; as well ad therapy.
I want to write this "letter" to you as a means to try to stop bitching so frequently.
In the past 2 weeks ive had nothing but suicide and despair on my mind.
Miss M. my former best friend cant help me, she has something against rivotril even when I wasnt taking any and it was prescribed by every single doctor she thoght that was the root of all my problems, she doesnt get it, other friends just say I hope you get better and pretend everythings ok.
Every morning I wake up depressed to tears thinking lifes not worth it, I have to painfully get breakfast so I can a have a handful of pills, and feel a little better when tramadol and rivotril kicks in.
My liver, stomach and guts have cronic damage from years of abuse, ive also been taking medicine for that for years, I have to follow a very restrictive diet and yet I damage my liver more with sugar addiction because extreme anxiety.
Now that im back to rivotril im a lifeless zombie, its a sedative it prevents me from getting violent and from extreme anxiety but it doesnt allways work.
I take rivotril because its by far the strongest ansiolitic drug for anxiety out here, every doctor determined no other drug worked for me as even the strongest one struggled to regulate my depression and they didnt even try to adress adhd because depression was the priority.
Once the effects of rivotril wears out in a few hours its complete hell, panic, I want to break everything, I cut myself to release endorphines and adrenalin so I can think clearly and get out of the panic mode.
And its not small cut eithers, I grab a butchers knife and start chopping I have over 50 cuts in my arm and they would be a ton more if I had less self control.
This is considering I hate and fear blood.
https://youtu.be/_Gv-7yHScco?si=No03Ge1OiV7qukrD
This short 6 min video explains what tramadol does to me, it uses fentanyl as its example but everything she says applies to tramadol.
The problem is even if tramadol helps with depression and anxiety, and makes me feel like my breathing is perfect and I have no rhinitis/allergy, its not enough because my depression and anxiety get so bad I need even more serotonin than tramadol's alone (or my receptors to work? Idk the correct terminology).
Everytime I start feeling hopeless, out of desperation I take 1 or 2 more pills of tramadol several times a day, it almost never works as my body just feels bloated but I do it everytime regardless, my liver is saturated with chemicals already.
Bupropion is the most effective SSRI ive taken by far but I can hardly afford its cost and I generated tolerance for it so quick, my depression surpasses drugs very easily when it gets bad so im trying to learn to live with that.
The video suggests treatment with 2 drugs, methadone which is ultra illegal here ane buprenorphine which my penultimate doctor scammed me, he used indiscriminately to make me a heavy opiate addict and then dissapeared charging me tons of money. The heavy buprenorphine doses made me feel like a normal person after years, I was so sure it was going to work. I even returned to my basketball team.
The doctor after that gave me insane amounts of rivotril (12mg a day) and the side effects as mentioned above were devastating and even worse with this dosage, this also lead me to take some very bad decisions.
Ive also heard about this famous naltrexone which is legal, but every single doctor refused to use that method, idk why.
After that doctor I completely left rivotril quickly, then I left bupropion and tramadol for aproximately a month, but I could not take it...
I couldnt breath, I had panic and paranoia episodes stronger than ever before, I even had very distorted visions as if I had taken psychedelics. I crawled to the drugstore for tramadol and I was ok in a matter of minutes.
Even my brain seems to have taken some sort of "loss" as for my reading comprehension is much worse, I skip words, whole paragraphs and read words that arent there at all. This could be unrelated tho.
I just want not to feel terrible and there is nothing that helps me with that, in those moments I really wanns end it all and I feel so bad for my cats who can detect my emotions, my eldest one isnt as strong anymore to take all that negative energy.
My mom is more sick than me and my dad has a terminal illness, they cant take this, my friends are not prepared to deal with major disorders + physical illness, sometimes I feel saved by you, you helped me survive another day.
I just want to die, I think about suicide everyday I truly do but my cat and mom would die too, id completely ruin their lives and I cant do that to them, hopeless doesnt beggin to describe my absolute despair.
Expensive one hour session with my therapist, as good as she is, only goes so far, 1 houweek is way too few time, and lm surprised friends cant help, I dont rely on them anymore, they have 0 comprehension and all advice/solutions that arent worth shit.
I look like a normal person and sometimes my looks are above average, its impossible for people to tell im feeling like shit and often times they dont believe me because I look fine.
I lost my sports progress, I lost my job and I lost my will to live, I have extreme apathy I just dont feel like doing anything at all.
As a final note support groups have failed me in the past, they do work momentsrily but I find as soon as the effect wears off a lot of people end up worse than before, including me.

I (24F) met my now ex boyfriend (24M) 7 months ago. I’m a lukewarm Christian and he’s Muslim.
We had a great and the best relationship we ever had, however, the issue was that his parents did not know about our relationship. To give more context, he came here for school on a student visa and his parents are back in his home country in Senegal.
Last week, he finally broke it to his parents that he is dating. His mom is also Catholic, and expressed she does not like the situation because he is still in school and he’s dating as a Muslim. I never disrupted his school studies because he passed both of his last two semesters with flying colors and I always respected the times he couldn’t see me because he had to study.
As for the religion part, I understand. As a Muslim he shouldn’t be dating and has lived in haram for months now. I want to mention that he knew that he was and did feel like he is deceiving Allah. He doesn’t drink nor smoke, goes to the mosque every week and keeps praying 5 times a day.
After he told me all of this, he said that it is best we break up because he doesn’t want to hurt and think it is best. I refused and told him to at least talk to his parents and see how they feel and what the root cause is. He said he would.
Fast forward to now, he’s distant and then comes back saying we should break up and blablabla. He hasn’t spoken to his parents or anything and when I ask why he doesn’t reply. I feel like I was not worth fighting for and this is the part that hurts the most.
I’m just asking for any advice or possible reasons as to why he won’t stand up for us against his parents? Is this a Muslim thing or a him thing? I know he usually follows what his parents tell him but for God sakes he’s 24 about to be 25.
P.S. : he’s aware he shouldn’t have dated me due to his religion restrictions or at least knowing how his parents feel about dating

To give context, my father(56) in the past has cheated on my mom(51)(years before i came along) and he works outside of the country, my mom has caught some suspicious accounts he has been following on insta and his coments ( ur beautiful, a goddess, etc...) and she is totally right to be pissed at him but i know for sure he ain't doing anything besides spamming likes and making these comments (i have someone close to him who monitors the situation for me) idk what to do about this, I'll talk to him tomorrow and i wanted some advice on what to tell / say to him.

Hello, I have recently thought that I may have mommy issues and it conflicts a lot with my attraction to women (I’m a woman). I’m not sure if I’m a lesbian, bisexual and now maybe even straight… Help me please
I don’t remember much about my childhood but my dad was pretty absent as he worked far away and I would spend entire weeks (regularly) without seeing him. My mom also studied to get a job and was generally busy. I don’t remember if she was affectionate when I was little but I know that when I was a little older (about 8-11) I avoided hugs and stuff like that, they made me uncomfortable. In conclusion, I grew up to be very independent, and the fact that I was super bullied didn’t help either. I have a lot of scars because I wasn’t valued enough in my childhood, I think.
When it comes to crushes I had a few when I was a kid, I remember Katy Perry and Ripley from Alien (yes I watched that when I was like 7), but the rest of them are “mommies” if you know what I mean. When it comes to men idk if they were really crushes because I don’t think they really had a sexual component, but I did obsess over a couple celebrities, some of whom are not conventionally attractive at all but guess what, they look like my dad. Also the only real crush on a real person I had was when I was 15 and a camp teacher, she didn’t really fit the stereotype of a mother figure but when she reassured me I would feel super attracted to her.
Flash forward, I thought I had a crush on my male best friend but turns out he was just treating me like a real friend and caring for me, and that made me obsess over him, but tbh I feel like I could never have done anything sexual with him. The worst part comes now: I had this female friend who told me she fell in love with me. At first I wasn’t in love with her, but then she started being super affectionate and I was head over heels in like a month. Our relationship totally resembled a mother figure dynamic: she always had the first say in what to do and I happily obeyed because I felt secure. She gave me a lot of affection and I was mostly just the receiver. While I was with her I was the happiest I’ve ever been, I had self esteem, my anxiety and depression disappeared, and I must say that I was fine if I couldn’t see her, but she needed to see me at least every two days. In fact we broke up because I moved and she couldn’t stand long distance. I think my relationship was codependent and also the break up has destroyed me, even though now I’m over her I still crave someone to love me that way…
So my question is, can my attraction to women be originated just from mommy issues? Also I feel like I could never be attracted to someone if they didn’t treat me this way, what can I do to heal?

(Posting for a friend who does not use reddit, all answers will be directed to her. We live in Alabama if that helps with state laws, thank you!!) Hi, I’m going to try to be anonymous with this. I’ve never used Reddit before, so bare with me. Two weeks ago, I finished enough time with my employer to be eligible for benefits. I signed up for them through the link my employer sent me, picked the benefits I wanted, and patiently waited for my information to arrive in the mail. I saw the benefits were deducted from my pay the following week, so I figured the information and ID card should arrive soon. Nothing ever came. I called my insurance company to see if I could get my information through them digitally and they said they did not have me on file and would contact their eligibility team to verify my information. I received a call from them this morning stating that I was not in the system at all and would need to call my employers HR department. I contacted HR and they transferred me to the woman who is over the Benefits Department in the company. I asked her about it and she said, “There’s been an error and you’re probably on a list of people I need to fix. I’ll take care of it.” I asked her if I could be reimbursed for the benefits deduction since the insurance company says I’m not in their system. She said no, and that the deductions will continue since I’m “technically insured.” Everyone I’ve talked to has said that this isn’t legal, but a friend told me to post here to make sure. What can I do? I get paid again tomorrow and it will be deducted from that check as well. That’s about $120 I’ve lost without ever actually having insurance that my job said they will not reimburse me for.

So I (15m) am going through it right now and almost all the time. So I feel bad for bad people while many will criticize me for it I can’t change my thought process I feel empathy for them, I feel bad they did these things etc when I read comics I feel bad for the dude who’s saying bad thing doing bad things and I hate it cause they’re never given the chance to get better. You might say I’m dumb and a devil advocate or victim blamer and I’m sorry I feel this way. I believe in Jesus Christ and he says to forgive evil doers and to love them and pray for them and I want to but I feel like people will hate me for it. Diddy, r Kelly etc. I feel bad for them not because they are criminals or what they did is not wrong but in the sense people will never forgive you for what you done no matter what. I want them to do their time become better all that but most don’t. As of right now I feel bad for drake because people are saying he’s a little pedo and whether he’s not or is I feel bad for him. If he is I want him to do his time and become better but I’m not gonna hate him but people will no matter what. My mom was abused by her ex boyfriend for 10 years and I hated him for it but now I’m starting to feel bad for him and am hoping he becomes a better person and moves on.
If you hate me pls do so you have every right I’m a weird person I’m a criminal apologist forgive me for that pls I’m sorry if I offended any of you pls forgive me.

hi, my mom has been very paranoid for the last 1.5 years. she thinks she is being watched by the cashiers whenever she goes to the store. It has started getting worse this past year. -this all started back when my other family members were don’t like came to our house w/o invite and overstayed their visit. my dad was very sick and they were getting very involved in my mom’s method of care toward him(pills she gives him, food she feeds him) -they were very emotionally and mentally abusive toward her and she is very tramitized from it -she believes she heard them saying they will file a report on her, and she thinks they want to do this so she goes to jail and they can take all of my dads money instead of her -she believes they would try to prove that she does not take good care of my dad -she barely goes to the store bc she is so afraid that she is being spyed on.
I am not sure what to do. can someone please help? i feel she has a disorder or have paranoia and needs to speak w a professional. I want her to talk to a therpist or doctor, but she gets very upset if someone doesn’t believe what she is saying. I don’t want to invalidate her feelings but i know i need to somehow intervene before this gets worse. I have been there for her trying to listen to her and be sympathetic but that’s not enough.