Good morning sms girlfriend

Join the original discord from roaring kitty subreddit (https://discord.gg/quhJbPFb)
Good morning apes!! We are holding strong today!! 💎💎 if you aren’t in this for the long run! You aren’t in this at all! We are taking this FAR.
This mornings pump, after market opens the price will DIP. This is normal and expected with many stocks that profit throughout the night. DO NOT PANIC sell. We are in this for the people! Not WS! Buy at the dips, it’s a discount!
delisting FFIE, FFIE is safe right now. We have until June 25 for the companies stock to hold $1 balance. We will reach a $1 today. It’s all up to us to push!!
Holding the stock for as long as you can. Holding will be CRUCIAL for this to work for everyone involved. If you aren’t in this for the long haul, sell. We are in this for hundreds, not the Pennie’s we are at now! The potential is HUGE.
95% short, this is the big gun!! This means 95% of the companies stocks were borrowed and sold, basically a bet that it will stay low. Companies need to reinvest to make their money back now that the price is rising. This causes the squeeze.
Holding the front lines on social media, inform people on the right information. Spread the original discord on X, TikTok, IG, Threads, Facebook etc. This is OUR chance at making history. Be there or don’t. People from every social media need to see our support! We are holding. 10k+ on Reddit between Tuesday and Wednesday. only 1K in the discord. GET ORGANIZED

No strong urges to resist yet but I’m feeling good about this time. This sub is really helping, I look at it first thing in the morning and it reminds me why I’m doing this. Beating this addiction and pied will really open my life up to so many possibilities!

A subliminal is something that will work regardless of a mindset. What it does is it reprograms your mind by replacing your old beliefs with new ones. But why do people still don't get results? 1) Maybe they're not consistent? (They switch playlist often) 2) Maybe they have a strong resistance (negative thoughts towards their desire or the subliminal itself) 3) Not having faith in Subliminal at all?
4) Fear of not getting results if stayed consistent to a certain sub (and thinking that they wasted their time doing that)
5) Always seek perfection
The technique that you can add up to your day to day routine.
1) Make a new chat or group chat in your Whatsapp or Telegram or you can even create a new email and name it "Universe" (or "God" if you're religious). And act as you're writing a mail to the Universe/God. Thanking them on how grateful you are. How happy you are about your desires, Describe how they helped you in your journey, how you always get results. Inshort, take it this way, you're a person who met God/Universe months ago and they gave you a blessing for your successful life and now everything works in your favor. So what you do is write them as if you're writing an email to God/Universe on how great your journey is going and how thankful you are to them.
Once you do this, use text to speech to convert it to audio, I would recommend https://www.dupdub.com/text-to-speech
They have emotive speech. Which means the words are emotionally charged, which will help the subconscious grab better. Now use that audio and make a silent subliminal by following Rasen_God's post. https://www.reddit.com/useRasen_God/comments/z5r7iu/how_to_create_a_subliminal_audio_requires_pc/ Yes you can use a theta audio and layer it. Note: i wouldn't recommend layering affirmations, you can do it but max two should be fine.
And now comes the fun part, once you download that audio, now use it as your alarm at 3:33 am. The reason I said 3:33 am is because every person has different sleep schedule. And here comes another interesting part, there's something called REM(Rapid Eye Movement) period: "The phase of sleep in which most dreams occur. During REM sleep, a person’s brain activity, breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure increase, and the eyes move rapidly while closed. The muscles in the arms and legs become temporarily unable to move. REM sleep is thought to play an important role in memory and learning. During normal sleep, a person goes through four to five sleep cycles that last about 90 minutes each and include both REM sleep and non-REM sleep (light to deep sleep). Also called rapid eye movement sleep."
And the REM period doesn't happen consistently it lasts up to 90mins each cycle. And i feel like the most common will be around 3am.(3:33 is just for being fancy - angel number). Altho You can use multiple alarms but i believe one should be good n enough. What i feel like the sub will work the best in REM period.
An example of the script: I feel so good today. I love myself so much. I just love everything about me Thank you universe. i’m so grateful to you for making everything work in my favour. thank you universe, thank you for helping a lot in my journey. I am an expert in manifesting now. I usually get all the results within 24 hours now. Sometimes i get results instantly. isn’t that impressive? I recently used a subliminal for clear skin and guess what! i got results only within just a few minutes. Isn't that so coooool? life is so easy now. my skin is so clean and clear now. i am so handsome and good looking. thank you universe, thank you for making my skin so clear. i remember, few days ago a girl came up to me and said that i look really very attractive and i have a glass skin. she also said that my face was the most glowing and charming face that she ever saw in her entire life. i am just so happy today. I'm so grateful to the universe for making everything work out perfectly, I'm so full of love and laughter, it's like I have a giant smile on my face constantly."
I am so happy i finally understood detachment. I don’t expect results anymore. its funny to see how i just don’t care about them anymore. thank you universe. thank you for making me detach from all of my expectations and making me live in the end every time. I am also having a very good quality sleep these days. And you know what? I get super vivid lucid dreams everyday about my desires and i love it. Yes, you heard it right, i lucid dream every night. I feel so fresh and energetic waking up early morning. I feel so confident every time. My life has improved a lot, so much improved that if i listen to a particular subliminal topic today, i get results within 24 hours anyhow regardless of anything. Isn’t that cool? I'm bursting with gratitude and joy, the universe has done such an amazing job and the results are mindblowing!. I have the best life ever, my life is so good, i am so happy, thank you universe, i love you.
------What to include in the script----- 1) self love
2) detachment
3) gratitude and joy
4) an example of how a person complimented you 5) you've become expert in manifesting now
there's an option to select what emotion you want. I personally like "excited" and "cheerful"
You see the bold paragraph? if you choose to layer, make it a bit different than than the first para. I know some people say using same voice for layers still works but i like to play safe, so use different voices for each of them
One tip from me: Control your emotions, Yes you heard that right. If you had a bad day, be happy still. Always be happy no matter how bad the situation is. I know its hard to now show up the actual emotions but that's what sorts out the winners from the losers. When you learn to control your emotions, you get more n more stable. Your subconscious is no more messed up now, i believe it aligns with the conscious (which makes it easy to manifest).
-----------The End-------------
Also, i have started using subliminals now. I've just been following knowledge all these days. I'm 2 months into subs, i haven't been consistent with any of the subs, i enjoyed researching more than listening to subs. I'm now kinda done with all the study(will still do a lil bit everyday).
This will be my routine.
I divided it with two phases. 1) Morning 2) Night
before that, i want to say that i'm kinda interested in v1er's subliminals rn. Yes i know making your own subs are better but still, idk i really liked v1per's style of making subs and affirmations. 1) Morning
I will listen to MOAB 1.0 and then my playlist 3x-5x
2) Night
I will listen to MOAB 2.0 and then my playlist Note: If you're using v1per's subs as me, use the LION formula for night, i do that too. So listen to 2.0 once and then LION playlist once.
That's all
Yes i know MOAB 1.0 and 2.0 both in a day might be overkill but i have a solution for that 😉
(S Module)
{S} = {MOAB 1.0 Legacy[ItsaKid(2024)]} X {MOAB 2.0[ItsaKid(2023)]}
{R Module}
{R} = {MOAB 1.0 Legacy[ItsaKid(2024)]}
{R} = {MOAB 2.0[ItsaKid(2023)]}
{E Module}
{E} = {MOAB 1.0 Legacy[ItsaKid(2024)]
-obsession
-crying
-mental breakdowns
-nightmares
-sweating
-eating more
-pain
-headache
-sore throat
-negative thoughts}
{E} = {MOAB 2.0[ItsaKid(2023)]}
-obsession
-crying
-mental breakdowns
-nightmares
-sweating
-eating more
-pain
-headache
-sore throat
-negative thoughts}
Yes you can use the A module for a certain sub and add a magic formula there. Here's the magic formula:
example:
{A]= { Clear skin [Synergy(2017-ish)

• heal scars
• pale skin + overnight results }

note: these are just my theories that i came up with. and its experimental. I haven't tested it yet. I just have tested the MOAB E module thing and it worked for me, i didn't feel a single side effect at all. Sometimes i felt a few of these, but that just lasted like a few seconds lol. The E module is powerful.
Upvote if you like the post, your upvotes make me feel like it was worth writing the post and it inspires me to write more such. :)
peace

Important info is in bold.
I've been sleeping next to my parents as lame as that sounds since I get all confused and constantly going into panic attacks after my seroquel kicks in. The akathisia is much worse at this time for hours. I have to take gabapentin a little before my dose to make it somewhat bearable. I'll still be rolling around for hours in a confused and anxious state.
Sleeping next to my parents gives me some peace since I can see them when I feel like I'm starting to slip into a panic attack during my incoherent and anxiety/panic attack filled phase. I've tried to sleep by my self but I just can't bear it as it sends me into full blown panic attacks and just much worst anxiety overall being by my self.
The worst feeling is my blood pressure drops or at least it feels like it and then tightness and congested feeling of my chest starts once the seroquel is fully working. It feels like I need to manually breathe and it feels like I'm out of breath too. It also feels like I'll die in my sleep from not being able to breathe properly or breathe at all. That's what really sends me in to a panic attack. The inconsistent heart rate and blood pressure doesn't help either.
I will also sit up right in panic sometimes gasping for air or making a sound while sleeping every 20-30mins or every hour or two if I'm lucky. Scared my dad a couple times because of this.
Tardive dyskinesia symptoms have been showing a lot more often too. Woke up several times not being able to control my limbs. Almost fell over once after getting off my bed because I could barely control my legs or arms.
The akathisia during the day started getting worse as days went by. I was desperate because this feeling is horrible. I saw that a good portion of what is used to treat akathisia is already prescribed to me which is clonazepam and gabapentin.
Gabapentin is definitely what works the best. I am also tapering off klonopin and was doing all right with .5mg but now it feels like it's not enough because I am much more anxious than I was a month ago. It still definitely helps with the akathisia though.
Mirtazapine also seems to help a good amount. I'm taking .5mg of clonazepam, 1200mg of gabapentin spread throughout the day, and 15mg of mirtazapine.
Mirtazapine and 250mg of vitamin b6 early in the morning, gabapentin 3x a day, and the clonazepam I take half in the day and half late night. I have to time my doses correctly so I don't experience any akathisia.
Vitamin B6 is supposedly effective but I'm not too sure if it really is.
I also take 250mg of lamictal split into day and night, and 2mg of risperidone which I am tapering off of and will be off completely soon.
I did as much research as I could since it started getting a lot worse soon after I saw my doctor. So I had almost 30 days till I saw my doctor again and I definitely would've gone to the ER. I almost called the ambulance when it started getting bad because I didn't know what the hell was going on.
It feels like I have to jog around my place without these medications I listed above. It also makes me extremely prone to panic attacks which would occur every few minutes.
Hope this info helps anyone else.
Ask your doc for propranolol and gabapentin. Klonopin should be a last resort.

Just want to point out the flairs for this also include violence and sexual assault, but couldn't figure out how to have more than the one Content Warning flair.
I'm a late-ish millennial, and I knew from about the age of 4 that something was off about me. I just didn't seem to define myself the same as other boys, or didn't like how other people defined me. It wasn't until I was about 8 or 9 that I nailed down what it was: something I learned in a Jerry Springer episode of all things - I was transgender. Technically transexual; transgender wasn't a common term back in the mid-90's. And it wasn't until I was 12 years old that I became brave enough to come out to my mother - with whom I had a much better relationship compared to my dad.
But allow me to back up and say that, without getting into too much detail, that I had a really rough childhood. When I was 6½, an older teenager boy that lived down the street from me fixated and basically molested me for about a year and a half. Any kink he wanted to try, and the list was extensive, he tried on me. I didn't tell anyone until I was about 24, but not because he threatened me or anything.. he just made me promise not to and for some stupid reason I didn't. I'll always wonder if I became transgender through this traumatic experience and I just created memories of times before that happened thinking I felt wrong in my body, or if those memories were authentic.
In any case, my plan to come out to my mom: we were the type of family to go camping a couple of times a year, and whenever we did my parents would get absolutely shitfaced, trashed, blackout drunk. My plan was to wait for my parents to get wasted, pull my mom aside, and come out to her so that I could gauge what her reaction would be sans filter, and then hope she didn't remember anything the next morning so that I could do so while she and my dad were sober.. and hopefully at least she would be on my side about it.
The plan worked perfectly - in a way. Her reaction was belligerent and violent. I told her "I don't feel like I should have been a boy. I'm a girl." and she at first dismissed it. When I pressed the issue, she smacked me rather hard and before I could get away she punched me in the chest which knocked us both over. That memory, at least, will forever be crystal clear to me; and by "the plan worked perfectly", she didn't remember anything about it the next morning, and I knew enough to not bring it up.
I feel like that's really when the gender dysphoria really spiraled my depression and anxiety out of control. I attempted suicide twice that year. I learned it's difficult to OD on ibuprofen, and when that didn't work I tried Advil, but my body rejected it and I puked it all up into a toilet. I'm pretty sure I fucked up my liver enough though because I can't drink alcohol.
After that I guess I just buried everything as deep inside of me as I could and just.. forgot about it. I grew up as just a normal boy, albeit depressed behind a facade of suave confidence. I was my high school's mascot until I graduated, joined the military, got out of the military, got engaged to a wonderful woman with the full intentions of starting a family. All of this is apparently very common for transwomen before their eggs crack - like we're so deep in denial that we do the things that society would expect us to do as men to continue the facade.
I attempted suicide again at 17: I tried cutting my wrists, but I'm a pansy when it comes to pain and didn't cut deep enough.. I took to wearing wristbands to cover the scar. And again when I was 22: I tried hanging myself in my closet and broken my clothes rack. Let me just say.. having a low enough self-esteem to completely override one's most basic instinct of self-preservation, and then FAIL at that as well, is the lowest.. like you hit rock bottom and still manage to dig deeper. And I was in denial during this time so I didn't know why I was depressed, but really, does anybody when they are? It's just a dark empty pit of apathy.
When I hit 23 years old, I met the woman that would become my wife. Things were going pretty good for a couple years - we had a healthy sex life, we genuinely enjoyed each other's company, we rarely if ever fought, and when we did we knew that communication was the key. We were swingers and enjoyed being young adults. Then sometime when I was 25.. everything started unburying itself. For such a stupid event, too. We had neglected laundry at some point and I didn't have any clean underwear, so as a joke she said to just wear some of hers.. so I did.
Something about putting on a pair of panties just.. felt right. Something so mundane, so seemingly meaningless to everyday life, struck me like a bolt of lightning and the trauma that was my childhood started coming back to the surface. I came out to my wife and.. well she wasn't thrilled. It almost ended the relationship, but honestly I was just excited she didn't automatically leave me that I was full steam ahead on researching all I could about transitioning. I was apparently going too fast for her, because she came up with a plan.. to offer me as much sex as she could to try and remind me just how awesome being a guy was. Turns out.. when you have a lot of sex without birth control.. you end up getting pregnant! Who'd have thought?! Well, she freaked out, but I sort of settled down with the transitioning thing and we communicated.
While she was pregnant with our first child, before she started showing, we got married. She was an only child, which she hated, and I have an older sibling, which sort of turned out okay, so after about a year or so we tried for a second child and it stuck. I didn't want to start HRT and my transition while she was pregnant with our second - the additional stress aside, but what if something also happened to the pregnancy? So I waited until our second child was born.
It didn't seem enough that I now knew why I was depressed, because regardless of that knowledge, I was still depressed. I tried another attempt when I was 27: I didn't want to fail again, and shooting yourself in the head seemed pretty final and fast, but my wife came in before I could go through with it, and she made an appointment with a psychologist that day.
My psychologist was a pretty cool person. I had heard horror stories of being made to wait like 6 months up to a year or more before being given a referral to an endocrinologist to start HRT, but after relating pretty much this whole story to her, she seemed pretty convinced that the sooner the better. I mean I was in my late 20's, and she could tell I wasn't talking to her just on a whim.
I started hormones early 2017 and have been on them ever since. My wife and I are doing well. Despite being on testosterone blockers murdering my sex drive at first, it's come back by now and we're doing kind of spectacular. My eldest child is almost a preteen and .. things are actually going really really good in my life. My parents and sibling are kinda weirded out about it, but I beat my sibling in giving them grandkids, so as messed up as that seems I think that's why they really tolerate(more than accept) me in their lives. And as far as I know, they're not aware of any of the suicide attempts.
Anyway.. figured I'd get that off my chest.

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

Heyooo,
I’ve been having issues with tolerance build up and dosages and such and can’t figure out WTF to do. See below for information.
So I’ve only recently been diagnosed a couple months ago, by an awesome Psychiatrist in Sydney NSW.
To start he put me on Ritalin, that was horrible. So we made the switch to Dexamphetamine or Dexidrine, I started on the smallest dose of 5mg, I had amazing results for a week, the next week I didn’t feel much, then i upped my dosage and was told to titrate up in dosage every 4 days to a week or so.
Fast forward a couple weeks, I got up to about 20mg of dexidrine. I asked if I could try Vyvanse, as I didn’t like the ups and downs of the IR medication (they weren’t bad, but not ideal).
We started on 40mg, that worked amazingly well, I had total coverage from 9am-5pm, my memory was amazing, my ability to do things were amazing, I got so much stuff done for work during that week and for my music studies as well.
The medication has ceased to work properly, I take it in the morning, around 8-9 then return fairly close to baseline around the 3-6 hour mark. And even the peak of the medication is no where near what it was when I first tried it. So my solution was to add some boosters of Dexidrine, I did so, it helped, but now they have a minor effect.
Now my psychiatrist wants me to try 60mg Vyvanse, I’m going to try it tomorrow and see how I go, but I think I’m going to end up on a higher dose and build tolerance to that as well and then just have to continue to increase until at max dosage and then that’ll become less effective due to tolerance.
What the f*ck do I do? I’ll give it a go and hope for the best, of course. But I am a bit skeptical and slightly annoyed, as the medication is bloody awesome when it works well. But I just hate how my tolerance keeps ramping up regardless.
Now here is some insight into my daily life, nutrition, health, etc.

• I drink a load of water with electrolytes, so it’s not water.
  
• I lift 3x a week with v high intensity and run 2km-6km 0-3 times a week.
  
• I eat at-least a minimum of 130g of protein daily.
  
• Sleep is an issue for me, but I have been getting really good sleep as of late, which would line up to when I started Vyvanse, I get about 7-10ths in bed and most of it is good sleep and I enter REM and have dream quite often.
  
• I don’t take my Vyvanse with anything acidic in the morning, I’ll usually have a good amount of carbs, some sort of protein and just have plain water.
  
• I’ve even tried taking Bi carb soda with my Vyvanse to see if it increases effectiveness, due to the bi carb making my stomach less acidic, theoretically increasing the absorption of the medication.
  
• I take vitamin d, a really good multivitamin with vitamin b and such in it, a good omega-3 supplement, magnesium, etc.
  

Now I predict someone will say “the meds seem to be working due to the structure of the post” as this is something I’ve seen on others posts, but I am writing this as I’ve taken my other booster and gotten a good 10 hours of sleep. If it was yesterday when I had 7hrs, I’d be dead in bed by now XD
This post isn’t to say my medication is completely ineffective, but that over time, the effects are becoming less and less prominent and the duration is becoming shorter and shorter. In fact I’m writing this even as I really should be continuing my music study, but have gotten distracted by the issues of my medication.
Thanks in advance and hope someone can offer some insight or suggestions.
Bless.

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

I 30M and my wife 30F just recently got married in our small southern town. (About 5k people) The usual people that you would find at a small town wedding were there. Aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends of family members, distant relatives, etc. Everything was fine & well with no complications, but everything got really screwed up during the honeymoon.
My wife and I decided to go to Vegas for our honeymoon. (I know it sounds cliche, but some of my family members lived in Vegas and have connections to get us a good hotel room.)
Saturday night, we decided to hit the strip, and we thought it would be really funny if we would go to one of those Elopement churches on the strip. (The ones that will have Elvis marry you.) I'm a Elvis fan and she thought it would be funny because we both saw an episode of Viva La Bam where Phil and Ape got their vows renewed so we thought it would be fun.
We got married a second time, in one weekend, I got a couple of good pictures, and I posted them to social media without a second thought. The next morning, I woke up to literally hundreds of notifications, messages, missed phone calls, and angry texts from damn near literally everybody saying that people thought that we had eloped in Vegas. Which makes no sense considering that we just got married, but I can't do anything about it. Literally, all of my elderly relatives are pissed except for my younger cousins, who thought it was hilarious.
Of my elderly family members are extremely pissed off and they are saying that I made the family look trashy by making it look like as if me and my wife got married in Vegas and not in the perfect Church like they always wanted. So, AITA?

I want to preface that this is a serious question, we aren't perverts and are open to advice and opinions on this subject. We have no nefarious intent and just want insight.
Me and my girlfriend plan to open a physical local business selling Japanese collectables in the semi-near future, primarily anime figures and merchandise imported from Japan but with a wide variety beyond that. While I figure out all the logistics and investment required to begin such a journey though, there are some questions I've been unable to get any direct answers for online, one of which may come off as a bit suspect:
Am I allowed to sell adult merchandise? And even if I am allowed to, is it a poor business decision?
And by that, I don't just mean lewd or questionably designed figures. While we don't directly seek it out, due to the nature of Japan and how we wholesale source a massive variety of series and subjects, we end up with adult items on occasion. This can range from nude cards, figures, tapestries, posters, manga, etc. to as direct as Japanese adult videos and video games (both animated and live action). At the moment whenever we've ended up with such goods, it's just gone into a box of "unsellables" which grows ever more suspicious as the months go by. We're online sellers on eBay and Mercari at the moment, both of which have clear restrictions on such items.
I personally have no issue selling such items when there is clearly a demand for them, and both me and my girlfriend actually find the adult stuff to be rather funny and/or interesting (depending on the specific item, being Japan some of it goes way too far). But my question is can I sell it, and if yes, should I? Is there a required license for such things? Do Japanese adult items have different restrictions than domestic adult items?
If we do end up deciding to carry and sell such items when we have a personal store, it would be in a separated "adult only" area behind a curtain. We know of a locally owned 2nd hand shop that does this. It wouldn't be something like Spencers where there's just a mighty wall of sex toys starting down at you when all you wanted was to buy a funny mug or something. And to be clear, it would make a very small fraction of our merchandise.
Two worries I had with selling such item are: Will it hurt our stores reputation on a notable scale? And: Will it attract undesirable types of customers?
And just to note for anyone worried, we would NOT sell Japanese merchandise featuring obviously underaged characters. If we were to end up with such things by happenstance, it would go straight to the shredder. Our moral bar may be set low here but there are some things still far under it.
Any answers and advice is greatly appreciated. Cheers.

Me '27M' and my girlfriend '23F)' been together for 4 years now.
She started working as a kindergarten teacher in 2023 september for full time, since then our relationship is getting worse and worse. Low mood, zero libido and we started to get distant. At first I did not tell her anything, gave her some try to get better. Then in 2023 december I told him that I miss lots of things (sex, interesting conversations).
In the meanwhile I met a girl, with who I take our dogs for a walk, and we have very good conversations. And it led me to the realization that our relationships with my gf is not the best, I am not that happy that I am used to be.
I told her everything how I feel, but I dont know if our relationship could be better. She also feel the same things. I want it to work, she wants it as well, but I dont know. Also she told me to break friendship with this girl, because she thinks the girl is in love with me. Also I have some feelings of regret about not dating enough.
What should I do now? Or what do you guys think?
Sorry if this is messed up, I can't write

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

I never have time to eat breakfast in the morning before work, let alone make something quick and protein rich. I'm not a giant idea of the fan of a protein shake, I could do a protein bar though if anyone has any good recommendations?
Normally I do eggs/beans or Greek yogurt when I don't have work in the morning just as I then have the time, but otherwise I'm in such a rush in the mornings from sleeping in too long/underestimating how long it takes me to get ready!

Hi everyone, so a little back story. I "25M" met my now girlfriend "31F" about a year ago when I was still in another relationship . My ex girlfriend introduced us to each other because they were friends and my now girlfriend needed a job and I just felt like helping her out as she was going through some financial struggles and she is a single mom of a 5 year old sweet girl. So I made a couple of referrals and she ended up getting a job but the boss didn't like her so I made another one and she ended up working where I worked.
After I broke up with my ex I started seeing my now girlfriend after about 2 months as we had gotten familiar with each other and I was still a bit heartbroken so I wanted to take it slow .....I should mention she is not the reason I broke up with my ex girlfriend. I was going to do that eventually as I had had enough of her. I could write a whole book about her if I wanted to .
Things were good for a while that is until she had to move to another country for permanent relocation.
Now in a normal scenario I would have just let it go there and then but the 7 months I spent with her were amazing. She was everything I ever wanted in a girl and her love and respect towards me was just out of this world . Anyway fast forward 2 months after she left it's like a switch flipped and now she is distant but not cold . If I call her and she picks up we can have a good conversation but if I don't call or text she won't call or text me .
Oh I forgot to mention we are planning on reuniting in just 2 months now before she left we had already discussed it all including my plan to eventually get married to her coz I know it's something I want and I asked her if it would be something she would like and she was very much on board. Now this wasn't a proposal no , it was just the first step leading to a proposal just to know where we both stand in the relationship.
So now my problem is the dwindling communication. I have brought it up before about 2 times and both those times we ended up talking for hours just telling each other how we feel and how we would like to move on but it seems that only gets good for the first 2-3 days and then she goes back to her usual self. She isn't working she just stays at home getting paid by the state to do so . All she does the whole day is taking care of her child. So I can't say she is so busy she can't pick up the phone and just send a simple hi . I like having back and forth conversations even if they don't make any sense 😐 and the thing is we used to have those. When I brought it up she said that she doesn't like staying with her phone because of the content she sees online it stresses her and all that (makes sense because she comes from a war torn country) . So we said that at least we can talk once a day in the evening but even that has stopped and when I call I don't get an answer until the next day in the afternoon. We do have a time difference but if I am putting in all this effort in line with the time zones but I am not getting any reciprocation.
I have to visit her in 2 months now and we have to stay together for a month before I leave again. With how I'm seeing it now, there might be no hope for the next time around so now I'm just contemplating if I should go see her or just ditch the whole thing because if she acts like this when I'm not around and nice when I'm there what will happen after I leave again waiting for the next meeting.
Any advice?

To have a clean face without acne and blemishes, consider the following:
Regular Cleansing: Cleanse your facial skin with a gentle cleanser every morning and evening, especially after using makeup, ensuring thorough removal.
Maintain Skin Hydration: Use moisturizers suitable for your skin type to keep your skin hydrated, avoiding excessive dryness that can lead to skin issues.
Balanced Diet: Maintain a healthy diet, consuming plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and avoiding excessive intake of oily and sugary foods, which helps improve skin condition.
Avoid Touching Your Face: Minimize touching your face with your hands to prevent the spread of bacteria that can cause acne.
Sun Protection: Use appropriate sunscreen products when going outdoors to avoid direct sunlight exposure and reduce the formation of blemishes.
Regular Sleep Patterns: Maintain good sleep habits, as adequate sleep helps with skin repair and metabolism.
Regular Exfoliation: Regularly exfoliate your facial skin to promote cell renewal and reduce the occurrence of acne and blemishes.
Selecting Suitable Cosmetics: Choose cosmetics that suit your skin type and avoid using expired or irritating products

Recently she and I got into an argument because I forgot to call her. We talk everyday, see each other every/every other weekend, were on the phone earlier that same day, and the call would’ve been just to chat more. She was unhappy, saying “I’ve just been sitting here alone in my apartment waiting for you to call.” Mind you she lives with her sister but I guess her sister was in her room. When she said this it…weirded me out I guess. I’m not sure how to describe it. Personally I like being alone; I get time to think, engage in hobbies, work on myself, relax, sleep, etc.
Just the other day, although there was no argument, something similar happened. It was my day off so I was relaxing in bed after i woke up. She calls me saying “I’ve been up and alone this whole time.” She had been up for hours in the morning doing her hair. Her calling didn’t bother me more so it was another instance of her being seemingly unable to be alone and her wanting me to fill that void
It’s weird. It’s like she has friends, watches shows, and generally could be doing anything but often doesn’t. Or even if she does she always wants me a part of it. Don’t get me wrong, this is nice sometimes. Sometimes I’ll have her in my airpods while I’m running errands and she’ll do the same
When she does/says this stuff it’s hard for me to not see it like a helpless puppy who can’t be without its owner (this comparison might be harsh but it is how it feels). It also feels kind of parent-like to have to say “it’s ok to be alone sometimes babe.”
What do you think?
TL;DR: my girlfriend seems to need me to fill the avoid of her being alone. We talk every day and see other often so I’m confused

Skin type - Combination skin with PIH
Weather - Extremely hot and a bit humid
Concerns - Acne marks (PIH) which are old and dehydrated skin too.
AM skincare routine-
Cleanser - COSRX Low pH Good Morning Gel Cleanser (using it currently)
Toner - Ultra-Low Molecular Hyaluronic Acid Toner (ordered new)
Essence - Cosrx Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence (using it currently)
Serum - Goodal Green Tangerine Vita C Dark Spot Care Serum (ordered new) OR Beauty of Joseon Glow Serum : Propolis+Niacinamide
( Maybe I’ll alternate them can they be used together?)
Moisturiser - Beauty of Joseon Red Bean Water Gel (using it currently)
Sunscreen - ISNTREE Hyaluronic Acid Watery Sun Gel SPF 50+ PA++++ (using it currently)
PM routine -
Cleanser - Simple Kind To Skin Refreshing Facial Wash (using it currently)
Toner - Corsx AHA/BHA Clarifying Treatment Facial Toner (ordered new)
Essence - Cosrx Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence (using it currently)
Serum- Layering both is a good option?
Numbuzin No.5 Goodbye Blemish Serum And AXIS-Y Dark Spot Correcting Glow Serum
(ordered new- both serums)
Moisturiser- if it doesn’t get too heavy then the same one - Beauty of Joseon Red Bean Water Gel
Okay so I’ve ordered these Korean products and could you tell me if my order of layering them is correct or not. As far as I understand the ingredients won’t work against each other.
I’ll add these products one by one to my routine. Any advice would be appreciated.

Then they said one to another, We do not well: this day is a day of good tidings, and we hold our peace: if we tarry till the morning light, some mischief will come upon us: now therefore come, that we may go and tell the king's household.So they came and called unto the porter of the city: and they told them, saying, We came to the camp of the Syrians, and, behold, there was no man there, neither voice of man, but horses tied, and asses tied, and the tents as they wer