Bachelorette dare ideas

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

Need some activity ideas for a group of 13 girls for a bachelorette in Montreal (may 18).
Our planned activity fell through and it seems like it will be challenging to book something last minute for a group our size. It’s also forecast rain so something indoors would be ideal!
We’ve reached out to a few classes (cooking, pole dancing)

Here is a short list:
Boat Charter Theme party - hire a decorator Isle of Palms Folly Beach Rainbow Row take photos Eat at Rooptop Uptown Social (Best Bar in Town) Carriage Tour King Street walk at night Friday-Saturday Hire Michael at your place Male Stripper Market Marion Square every Saturday Morning Hire a Chef Book a party Bus
Just a few ideas for you and your Charleston Bachelorette Party to work with.

He has personal worship, Kim Jong-un is often referred to as the "Supreme Leader" his image is plastered everywhere, and his words are treated as infallible. This is similar to the way cult leaders often promote themselves as being divinely inspired or infallible. The North Korean government has complete control over the flow of information within the country. This means that any dissenting voices or alternative perspectives are suppressed, which is a common tactic used by cult leaders to maintain their power. The North Korean regime is known for its brutal treatment of those who dissent or oppose them. This includes imprisonment, forced labor, and even execution. This type of fear-based control is for those who seek to maintain their power through intimidation and violence. Kim Jong-un uses emotional appeals to manipulate the population and keep them in line. He often uses patriotic rhetoric and sentimental appeals to reinforce the idea that he is the only one who truly cares about the welfare of the people. This type of emotional manipulation is a common tactic used by cult leaders to gain and maintain their followers' devotion. Kim Jong-un is not accountable to anyone except himself. He has absolute power over the government and the military, and there is no system of checks and balances in place to prevent him from abusing his power. This lack of accountability is another step for cult leaders.
The North Korean government has a tendency to manipulate historical events to suit their own narrative. This includes erasing or altering historical records to make it seem like Kim Jong-un's predecessors were always correct in their actions. Freedom of speech is non-existent in North Korea, and anyone who dares to speak out against the government or its policies is quickly silenced. This lack of freedom of speech is also key for any cult leaders though it's hard to apply with no speculation.
Kim Jong-un's regime is known for its secrecy and isolation from the rest of the world. This includes limiting access to information, restricting travel, and isolating the country from global economic and cultural trends. This type of secrecy and isolation, Jim Jones was notorious for doing this. Kim Jong-un's regime sets unrealistic expectations for the people, such as promises of economic prosperity or military victories. When these expectations are not met, the regime blames external forces or those who oppose them, rather than taking responsibility for its own failures. This type of manipulation of expectations is a common tactic used by cult leaders to create a sense of hopelessness or dependency among their followers.
The North Korean government does not provide any transparency about its policies or actions, including its military operations, economic decisions, or human rights record, meaning they lack the right to know.
While it's difficult to say weather or not he is or isn't, I fully believe he is. Many of these characteristics that the North Korean government is holding resembles that of many past and infamous cult leaders.

I started this series about a week ago. My friend and I both watch an animated show called Invincible which we both love. He told me if I’m really into animated shows to check out Attack on Titan. I’ve really only watched 2 other anime before; Naruto & Death Note. Ig you can say I haven’t really dug deep into anime. But after watching this so far, it’s clear this is a must watch show even to non-anime viewers. It’s really not hard to get into. For me, it’s always really hard for me to get into any new show, thinking nothing can really meet my expectations. But whenever I do get into something that does it for me, I instantly become obsessed with it and feel the need to binge it all. Been binging aot every night and currently near the end of season 3. (Just watched the episode where they enter the cellar)
There’s so much to say why I think its a masterpiece, but il keep this piece as brief as I can. And I’m aware what I have to say here has probably been said numerous times before. So il try to avoid that.
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I can imagine a lot of non-anime watchers might mistake anime as a genre of its own, not realizing they are categorized in themes of drama, comedy, sports…. Just like any other show. Here are the several themes I classify with AoT: Action, drama, dystopian, political/war, mystery.
The emphasis on War & Politics is a big one for me. They do it so well characterizing war. What a soldier does. What it does to a soldier. The large scale impacts. Also the importance of following orders, trusting your teammates and them putting their trust in you. Also a lot of sacrifice. So many people die for their collective goal of humanities freedom. It’s inspiring. Naruto does this a bit too with the whole thing about working well with your team, following command, ect. But AoT just goes way further with it and really makes it a larger part of the shows identity.
In season 1 when joining the scouts; Erwin asks those joining: “If you were ordered to die, would you do it?”. - That sentence plays huge importance for the story moving froward, and one could argue the situations some soldiers are faced with IRL when in a squad in real major war.
The world of AoT is so dark & gloomy you can get away with adding horror to one of its themes. This dark, gloomy vibe is a large part of the shows’ popular identity. It’s not only dystopian, but it’s also very anti-fascist. The characters are constantly striving for their collective goal of driving humanity towards freedom.
Another thing that makes the show pop out is obviously the Titans themselves. The idea of the titans is so cool because their scale is so wide compared to that of a regular human. Killing them is no easy feat and a titan battle has the main characters odds stacked 10:1. Their power scale makes most people scared shitless, give up and lose hope. And when the main characters do get to win, it just makes it that much more satisfying. (This is much more outlined in the beginning of the show obviously) This is where a lot of the dark gloominess in the show comes from.
Even after season 1 when its more common to see the characters effortlessly kill titans, the odds continue to get stacked against them but it doesn’t get boring at all. The show just evolves and the characters are provoked in more interesting ways.
In terms of the characters; they’re all masterful. My favourite characters right now are Levi, Mikasa, and Armin (ESPECIALLY Armin after S3 EP17-18). The characters are all good and you really feel for not just the “good” characters.
The show’s obviously not afraid to kill off characters. In every battle, people die. You can say there are both more important, and lesser important characters dying in these scenes, but none of them ever feel like filler characters. They all feel like they mattered in death. Even the lesser important guys have meaning and you really feel it when these people have to sacrifice themselves for everyone else.
Even the antagonist characters eventually don’t seem like real bad guys. I’m obviously still routing for Eren and the other good guys but you begin to see the show is showing you why the bad guys aren’t bad in their own situations. Having not finished the show yet, there’s still a lot uncovered on why certain antagonists are doing what they’re doing, but it’s clear they have a strong reason for their actions and they really believe their actions are what’s perhaps best for everyone.
The runtime is more or less perfect. 4 seasons, 80-something episodes, 20 minutes each. It’s a perfect amount of time for anyone to get into. And more importantly, there’s NO filler content taking away value from the runtime. Literally 0 filler episodes. The pacing’s pretty good and they try to keep it on the faster side in order to drive the events forward, which I like.
The Plot Twists: Seems to be the biggest reason as to why people say the show’s so good. AoT does plot twists like no other. There’s quite a few “betrayals”, and moments of surprise and they come so unexpected. After seeing how they handle plot twists in this show, I’m seeing a problem in how other shows direct theirs. It’s too common for other shows to foreshadow their plot twists slightly too much, or use blatant flashbacks to allude to what’s coming. If you’re someone who already watches a lot of good shows you can already kind of predict what major things are about to unfold slightly before it happens.
Don’t get me wrong, AoT has many flashbacks too obviously (like in many anime), but they’re used pretty well for the most part. They also have minor foreshadowings too you can say but they’re very very faint and used correctly.
For where I’m at in the series, I’m obviously referring to in Season 2, where Reiner & Berthold reveal themselves as titans. The way it was done really gives me chills. When they start talking to Eren and reveal themselves, it’s done so faintly and non-dramatic that you kinda miss it. It’s like I clearly heard what they’re saying but it just didn’t register in my mind because of the nature of the directing. They make it so their conversation is “Background Talk” rather than a dramatic reveal. No fancy music or anything like that. Really just gave an eerie vibe to it. I had to replay that scene like 3 times to understand what was going on. Then of course after their undramatic reveal; they use a flashback to explain their characters a bit further (notice how the flashback is used AFTER the reveal, not before); and THEN they go to their transformation. It is only in this transformation scene that they saved for the dramatic suspense to be unleashed. Maybe I’m looking to much into the writing but I just think the nature of that plot twist was handled very well. (And of course there’s the minor foreshadowing of Berthold chomping on his hand while the castle is falling. It’s an obvious titan-shifter move, but I think it was handled right).
The action scenes are very well blended in with the dramatic parts to its credit. A common occurrence I see with good action shows is they’re good BECAUSE it’s more than just action. And other action shows might get undermined for not having enough of it, maybe being covered, or perhaps outshined by the more emotional scenes. I have no problem with this myself in AoT. Even in parts of the story where action is scarce for a bit I have no complaints. Perhaps my perception of this is different than others because I’m able to binge it all at once while many others had to wait up to 10 full years between seasons and parts of seasons to see all the action.
Like I said, the power scale of the titans are really the meat & potatoes of the battles being what they are. The battle strategy is really cool to get into, and how they’re going to outdo their titan opponents (Armin as a character really adds to this for me).
The battles are one thing but the fighting itself is a whole other. The actual combat and the animation of it gets the adrenaline pumping. The whole concept of the ODM gear is genius. Using gas powered grappling hooks to leap throughout their environment like a speeding bullet, and zing around everywhere to take down the titans looks like such an adrenaline rush. It gives me adrenaline just watching them, and hearing the sounds of the gear. Its iconic really. Just the idea of it. Also really fits well with the 19th century setting, the technology being where it is.
Ig I have nothing more to say about the animation. Everyone knows its top tier, along with the gore. Nothing really extra I have to add about it, it’s self explanatory. Ofc can’t forget about the OST as well, just like the ODM gear; it’s iconic, adrenaline-pumping. ‘Nuff said.
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Unfortunately I already spoiled myself with a big plot twist for season 4. Whenever I get into a show like this it’s always so tempting for me to look at reviews of the show to reinforce why it’s so good, or do the character quizzes, or look at memes related to the show. That being said its too easy to spoil yourself with this.
I saw what the “final boss” looks like. (His head basically, and who it is). Really wish I didn’t see that yet, but it’s literally so hard to not get spoiled I tried my best. My friend warned me how easy the spoilers go. Told me I can’t google the show, search it on YouTube, ect. Anytime I type the shows name I’m risking anything coming up. I also know that 80% of humanity is wiped out from this “event/person”. Found that out the hard way. Other than that I’m spoiler free. I really wish I didn’t see any of that but it’s my fault ultimately and here I am. I probably shouldn’t be going on this subreddit to begin with. I’m lowering my eyes just going on this sub to post this. Not looking at anything else on this sub, not even daring to scroll to other posts. But with how far I’ve gotten in the series I really can’t hold it in and just really want to let out my thoughts so far on the show on here. Please keep the comments spoiler free for me. Just had to unload and discuss a little with you guys.

Are you ready to embark on a journey of love, passion, and intrigue? Join me in a roleplay experience where we'll explore the exhilarating thrill of the chase and the enchanting beauty of falling in love. I'm a seasoned roleplayer, eager to delve into the depths of character development and storytelling. If you're someone who enjoys crafting intricate plots and building meaningful connections between characters, then you're the partner I've been searching for. Together, let's weave a tale of romance that will leave us breathless and longing for more.
Some scenarios ideas:
1. Enigmatic Neighbors: In a quaint suburban neighborhood, a man in his forties moves in next door to a young woman in her twenties. Despite their age difference, there's an undeniable spark between them from the moment they meet. He's intrigued by her youthful energy and vibrant spirit, while she's drawn to his maturity and charm. However, beneath her confident facade lies a history of trauma from her teenage years, which has left her guarded and hesitant to open up to others. As they navigate the complexities of neighborly interactions, he becomes determined to unravel the layers of her past and show her that she deserves love and happiness. Could their budding romance heal old wounds and ignite a passion that transcends time and circumstance?
2. Rekindled Friendship: After fifteen long years of separation, two childhood best friends are reunited by chance. Despite the passage of time, their bond remains as strong as ever, and they quickly fall back into their familiar rhythm of laughter and shared memories. They've always shared a love for adventure and exploration, often dreaming of traveling the world together. In her teenage years, she was a tomboy, always eager to climb trees and explore hidden caves, but now she's transformed into a woman who exudes femininity and curves that captivate his attention. As they embark on new adventures and discover the depths of their connection, they find themselves drawn to each other in ways they never expected. Will they dare to take the leap from friendship to something more, or will fear of losing what they already have hold them back from true happiness?
3. Unexpected Romance: In a chance encounter, a self-conscious virgin in his twenties crosses paths with an older woman who exudes confidence and allure. Initially drawn to her out of a sense of admiration and curiosity, he finds himself captivated by her warmth and understanding. She, in turn, is touched by his vulnerability and innocence, seeing in him a reflection of her own past insecurities. As they navigate the complexities of desire and intimacy, they form a unique bond based on trust, acceptance, and a shared desire for exploration. Can their unconventional connection withstand the judgment of society and the doubts that plague their own minds?
4. Unconventional Desires: Amidst the tapestry of human relationships, an unconventional bond forms between two individuals drawn together by the primal instinct of nurturing and intimacy. In a world where taboos reign supreme, they find solace and fulfillment in the act of adult nursing or adult breastfeeding. Perhaps one is a nurturing caregiver seeking to provide comfort and sustenance, while the other is a willing recipient yearning for the intimate connection it brings. As they explore the depths of their desires and confront societal norms head-on, they discover a profound sense of belonging and acceptance in each other's arms. Will they dare to defy convention and embrace the uncharted territory of their unconventional love?
If you're interested in joining me on Discord for this roleplay adventure, know that I prefer to write in the first person point of view to fully immerse myself in the character's emotions and experiences. As a 44-year-old from Europe, I enjoy the dynamic of playing against a feminine character with nice curves. It may sound superficial, but it's my preference, and I know I won't fully enjoy the roleplay if she does not meet those criteria. Additionally, please note that all characters depicted in this roleplay are 18 years of age or older. Let's embark on a journey of love and discovery together, crafting a story where our characters' desires intertwine and their destinies collide in the most unexpected of ways.

I've posted this last year and some things happened which made me quite proud and I'd like to share how things went. So recap and then update:
So... When I was little, I lived with my mom and stepdad, things were great and we were very happy. Then my mom passed when I was 7y, so I moved with my father and stepmom, things were complicated. Currently, I have no contact with him (he's not a good man nor a good dad), and I live with my aunt (since 2018) and her husband (he came along in 2019).
Me and my aunt had an amazing relationship, she was my favourite aunt and all that. However, things started to go wrong when I started living with her, I made the mistake of answering that yes, I wanted to be treated like her daughter along with her 2 sons (one my age and the other 3 years younger). I had a desperate "need" for a mothefather. She became a kind of "maunt" (mother+aunt), and her husband a "stepdad"... Oh how do I regret this
Well, she has a favourite son, the oldest. He's lazy, arrogant, disrespectful, a typical golden boy who got spoiled his whole life and now he doesn't give a damn about anything other than himself.
For being the other woman in the house, she constantly pushes house chores to me, instead of the boys (subconsciously, i believe), pretty much only asks me about things, where her sons are, if the dogs were fed, if the boys cleaned well whatever room they were supposed to, stuff like that, and she's also constantly very, very rude to me (at the point of her husband arguing with her about it). And I got this whole syndrome of everything being my responsibility and anxiety when it comes to her, which became extremely exhausting over the years.
I came out to her about my bissexuality about 4 years ago, i thought she would take it well. She didn't. She masks her disapproval, but she clearly doesn't like it. I was really let down, I genuinely thought she would be supportive and everything we expect, but she first got confused, then annoyed and has said some very hurtful thing over the years. Currently I have a gf (she's 22 years old), we've been dating for over a year. They don't like each other very much, my gf doesn't like her because of all the things she does to me. And my aunt doesn't care about my gf at all because... well, she a girl.
Ok, that's the context. Now here's what happened.
My aunt send some kind of agressive messages over something silly, and that caused my anxiety on fire for the gazillionth time, only that time I had enough. I called my other aunt (by consideration, she's married to my grandad) and asked for help (she knows everything that goes on), if i could move in with them, she said yes. I then replied my aunt with a text saying i had enough and would move in with my grandad. She got upset and said (among other things) that "i had her blessing to leave, even though i didn't ask for it". She called my grandma (we are very close), and my grandma sent me some awful audios of how disappointed she was, how I made my aunt sad, of what would people think, that i used to be such a sweet girl and now this, of how loving is a choice and i chose not to love my aunt, stuff like that. Aunt and her husband went to dinner with my grandad that night without my presence, and told them we had an amazing relationship, that she didn't knew what happened, that my problem was I couldn't take a "no" for an answer, etc.
Two days later, we sat down to talk, she told me to start, I said all I wanted. She then started saying how that kind of thing should not have been adressed through text (which I agree, but I had to text or I'd freak out), that she was harder on me than the boys because (in another words) the world was rough and she loved me the most.
And then her husband also spoke about how he understands both sides and blablabla, and said that i could go to my grandad, but that they felt like i should understand that i would only go because THEY allowed, if they didn't wanted, i would not go, no matter what my grandparents or aunt (grandad's wife) said. He basically wanted to state their power position.
(Since my mother's death, my whole family on her side feel responsible for me, so i see all of them in the same way. None of them are my mom and dad, they are in the same "level" to me and have the same "right"... Him saying that made me burn inside, like they're entitled to me, I don't belong to them or anyone. They're my aunt and "uncle", that's about it, they think they have something on me that they... Don't)
And then my aunt said that I could go, as long as I told my grandad about my sexuality and girlfriend. Now... He's kind of old fashioned and i'm scared he'll reject me... We have an amazing relationship, I have lunch with them every wednesday, and I'm the closest grandkid he has (the others aren't so invested). So I don't know if I tell him the truth and manage to leave (depending on his reaction) or if I don't risk it and stay in the toxic enviroment i'm in.
UPDATE - 14/05/2024
Hello! So, things got much worse before they got better. Let's give them names so the story telling will be easier, let's call my girlfriend Bea, my aunt Leah, her husband James and my "aunt" (my grandad's wife) Rachel.
I basically swallowed my anger because I couldn't bring mysef to speak to my grandad about my sexuality, my grandparents are the most important people in my life as they've always been there for me and I was terrified to be disliked by him. That was until december.
Early december I was leaving for work and before I left, I tried to "notify" my aunt that Bea would be spending Christmas and New Years with me and my siblings (note: my siblings had been looking forward to her being there, specially my brother and my SIL (Luke and Lyla), they made it a question that she'd go. I have 3 paternal siblings, so there's NO relation between them and my aunt Leah. We'd be staying in a city 3 hours away from mine at my brother and SIL's house, every year we do this). She immediately said "you know I don't like this", I said "yes", she then said "good morning" and I left for college.
The next morning, I was eating before going to work and Leah started talking about it and we started a conversation that developed into a fight. She said things like how dare I "notify" her, how that's not how things work and that it would not happen because THEY (she and James) don't feel confortable with this, how THEY think Luke wouldn't like this because "no one likes to have people over for a week" (he and Lyla were super pumped for Bea to go), how THEY don't know my girlfriend enough (come on, we had been dating for over a year already), how THEY wouldn't like me going with her to a stranger's house (in complete disregard to my point of view, it's my freaking brother, whom they met a couple times btw, not a stranger. But to them, the only meaninful point of view was theirs). She had even called my brother to basically "check my story", like?? She also said that we we're only teenagers (seriously, 22 and 20) , and I said "no, she isn't and neither am I!", she said she didn't say Bea was, I then said "and neither am I", she said I was, because I didn't act like and adult, then I got mad and talked about how I do literally everything around the house, always walk the dogs even when I get home tired at 10PM, even though they got there at 7PM, I help with groceries purchase, pay the water bill, clean the house, do the chores her boys lack to do, and when I'm not home, I'm either at work or college, but when she disagrees about something, she just puts me back in the "teenager box". And in the end, she said that my raising was not like this, this made me laugh in anger inside, she's been with me for 5 years, I'm 20 lol.
So that was it, I left for work and got a text from her, apologizing for being rough, saying that she loved me and wanted it to work, that they wanted to talk to me when I got home. I replied saying the same.
Later that day when we were all home, we gathered in the living room, I was literally against the wall and it intimidated me deeply. James started saying how much they loved me and wanted to see me happy, as they want that for all their children (aunt Leah has 2 boys, my cousins, and James has 3 girls). I then talked and expressed how I was feeling, then Leah started talking and basically said in a nicer tone the same things she said earlier, plus how they want me to be happy and want things to work for me, but they think it's too soon, they believe it's not the right time, they they, and therefore, despite being against what they want, I could take Bea, but only in ONE of the two holidays, which I could choose. I was in a bit of a shock (you see, me and Bea had bought the bus tickets a while earlier), had no support, against the wall, I was feeling purely defeated and tired, I only said "Christmas then...", she then said we would sleep in separate rooms and would not go on the 22th after work because "she had already allowed an extra night by allowing her to stay there until the 25th". I stayed in silence, they asked if there was anything I'd like to add, I said no. It wasn't a conversation, in no moment did they actually listened and considered me, they had their minds set way before we sat to talk. I went to my room and rolled all night in pure anxiety. This was thursday
Friday I was a wreck and went to Bea's house to check on her (she was sick that week) and to talk to her about what happened. She noticed something was off, I told her, she got mad and sad, we cried, etc. I went home feeling awful, my anxiety had been 100% all day long and I was in a really bad place and feeling deeply frustrated.
Saturday I woke up worse and decided that I had enough and was not having that anymore. I went outside and called grandad, talked about how I wasn't feeling well and asked what did he think about me leaving home, he said that their doors were always open and that I could just tell my aunt that "I was going to live with my grandad and that was it". I reframed the question asking what he though about me leaving to live alone, he then got worried and said that he didn't think that was necessary, that I had them and didn't need to do that. He then asked me to come over and talk to him and aunt Rachel. I accepted and told aunt Leah I'd sleep at grandad's.
I got there and ate a bit because I didn't want them extra worried, although I felt like throwing up at every bite. Everyone went to sleep and so did I. I woke up a bit later feeling worst, that's when I started to throw up, there was barely anything in my stomach and all I could do was throw up.
The next morning I was better and had already told aunt Rachel about what had happened, she found it absurd how things went (she had met Bea a while back and they clicked very well) and was upset about the things aunt Leah said. I decided to talk to grandad, I couldn't disappear with the subject again, specially now that he was worried sick about me.
So... I sat on the couch and told him what was happening, explained everything, told him that I'm like his stepson's MIL (she's married to a woman. It was the easiest way I found to introduce the topic), told him everything. He asked what I wanted him to do about it, I said that I just wanted him to still love me the same and remain normal with me, that I am still the same person and have always been this way, he just didn't knew about it, but that it changes nothing about me. Aunt Rachel then joined us and asked what he was thinking about it (she knows everything and is amazing to me), he said he wasn't pleased, but that it was my life and he had no say in it and that I should do what's right for me, said that if I wasn't gonna change, then neither would he. But basically, he got much more worried about my mental health than my sexuality, he said that the doors were still open and always would be for me, that he thought I needed a home and thinks they can offer me that. Aunt Rachel said that they wouldn't be obsessive after me, demanding to know every step I take and bossing everything like Leah did, that I have my graduation, I work, make my own money, am responsible, have my own life and am not a child, I'm a 20 year old adult and they would treat me as such.
So that was it. I went back "home" muchhh more confident and waited until nightfall because everyone was having a good time and I didn't want to spoil that. I realized aunt Leah and James were awake and went to talk to them, and that, my friends, is when hell went loose.
I started by saying I talked to my grandad about Bea and my sexuality, Leah asked how it went and I said it was great. Then I said they could talk to him (since they wanted to "decide" with him about my going), she said ok and asked when I wanted to go, I said that it could be in the same week since I was on vacation from college, she frowned, stood firmly and said "you know this won't change our decision about the holidays, right?" then it went boom, I said I didn't agree with them and that it wasn't right for them to dictate about such things. Told them their values and beliefs don't have to be mine, Leah asked "WHY NOT?", then I replied "because I have my own!".
Told them they were controlling and that made their kids lie to them, that since they liked to compare raisings (they criticized Bea's mom's raising because she gives her kids freedom to live their lives and fully trusts), then fine, I went on to say how Bea and her mom have an amazing relationship, full of love and trust, how Bea turned up great, works hard, just made it to psicology at university, helps immensely at home, and so has her sister. As for theirs? They raised their kids poorly, they are overbearing and that makes their kids not trusting them and lying a lot because of this necessity of them to control everything. I stated that the raising they gave their children was not my own, that I had multiple raisings and that no, they didn't "raise" me, I'm 20 and they've been with me for 5 years. Said that was clear, just look at the difference between me and her boys (I won't delve into this bit because it's not relevant, but the difference is nitid).
They said I couldn't take a no for an answer and that was my dad's fault, I said they didn't know what they were talking about, I know how it actually went whilst they made a story in their heads and believe it's the truth, since I knew how my dad used to tell my family one thing and do another.
They (again) said they wouldn't treat me like an adult because I did nothing to behave like one, I said that they didn't treat me as I deserved and they would always put me in the "teenager box" whenever I acted differently to what they thought was right (but I was adult enough to lend James almost 1k without Leah's knoledge lol).
She obviously tried to blame Bea, saying she was putting things in my head and that the last conversation was fine and now I was throwing a fit, I said that I said nothing else then because I felt cornered and realized it wasn't a conversation, it was them simulating one only to tell me what they were going to all along.
I told them they didn't know Bea because they didn't want to and I wasn't confortable bringing her as it was an enviroment unwelcoming to her, she then asked if i would go another year like this until I "felt confortable", I said yes, if that's what it took, that I didn't really need to introduce anyone if I didn't felt comfortable to it.
She once demanded to go meet Bea, after throwing a fit at my BIRTHDAY because Bea planned a day for me and my MIL wanted to make me lunch and they weren't invited, it was super uncomfortable. My aunt described this day as uncomfortable, in this argument I said "and about that day you guys met Bea and her mom? It was uncomfortable? OF COURSE it was, I TOLD you it would be! I told you that was barging in and no one wanted it!". Which Leah said that no, that wasn't the uncomfortable part, the uncomfortable was how Bea was "daring her, being all over me and kissing me in front of her, that she had to be respected!".... Lol, the being "all over me" was me shaking from the anxiety and Bea holding me to keep me in my feet, the "kissing" was ONE greeting kiss. And Bea did nothing "daring" towards Leah, believe me, if she had, aunt Leah would definitely know lol.
At the end, they asked if I was taking Bea, I said, yes, Leah said no, since she called my brother and told him how "things would go down" (amazes me everytime I remember this, she wanted to dictate how the holidays would go IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE). Lol, my brother was just texting me saying how Bea could go spend the whole holiday and we'd just say she left after Christmas. So it wasn't a very good argument on Leah's end. I said it was my business and I was sorry, but it was MY brother, MY family, MY relationship, MY life, and it wasn't up for them to dictate on it, they shouldn't feel comfortable or uncomfortable since it had NOTHING to do with them, and that my family who mattered in this were not only comfortable but very excited for Bea's presence.
I told them I knew I wasn't wrong since grandad and aunt Rachel agreed with me, so they could go ahead and talk to them if they wanted to. They ended up showing me their tumb and I left for my room.
Aunt Leah left to grandad's house in like, 5 minutes, cried to him and all. She got back, went in my room and in an ironic tone, said "sorry, I know I'm not your mother, stay with your raisings, I'm just glad and relieved my father wasn't as ok as you thought (her saying this seriously hurt me), he accepted for reasons ans beliefs he has, so go ahead and pack your bags this week, you're free to go. Sorry for the flaws, I was trying to get it right, be careful when you take that sticker off, don't ruin the painting." aaand she left.
The next day, grandad came and we took 90% of my stuff and I started officially living with him and aunt Rachel. Christmas was a bit awkward (my maternal family does this early Christmas so everyone's free on the 24th), but I was glooming feeling like the weight of the world had left my shoulders.
So... I went with Bea to spend the holidays with my family, my siblings, my SIL's parents and even my 1 year old nephew absolutely adored Bea, they now ask about her even before asking about me lol. My paternal grandmother loved her and was amazing, told my aunt (her daughter) that Bea was adorable and loving. It was amazing and I cannot imagine 2023 Christmas and New Year without Bea with us, she added sooo much.
Recently we've been to Luke's and Lyla's at Easter and made Easter eggs together, watched movies, went out, went to a family gathering where Bea, my uncles, cousins and grandmother (who was really happy to see her since Bea couldn't go to her birthday because she had to work) all got along really well.
We see each other frequently, living with grandad and aunt Rachel has been amazing, I'm finally gaining weight! MANY people have noticed it and it quite frankly scared me a bit, I had no idea it was so evident. But yeah, I'm doing great!
Grandad isn't ready to deal with this, so we don't talk about it. He doesn't like it and doesn't really understands, but he's doesn't meddle. Grandma (maternal) texted these days wanting to meet Bea (finally!), since she found out through aunt Rachel that me and Bea are still together and going strong for 1 year and a half already. I think she took it seriously now.
Anyway, it was hell, lol. But things turned out alright! Thank you for the people who commented in my first post, it was nice reading the comments and taking the options into consideration!

I realized recently that I kind of use Reddit as a diary. The place to share things that I wouldn't normally be able to and reflect on what I have been through.
So welcome to my mind I guess, and I find someone talkative and animated amazingly attractive. I've had a problem on here recently of people barely talking to me after they reach out, and I have to wonder what the point of online dating is if you barely say a word while the other says everything else.
I'll write 3 full paragraphs and get "Oh okay that's cool" and nothing else.
GIVE ME DETAILS GIRL :D
It's honestly super important to me because on the talkative and extroverted scale I am very high up and basically spend all day just trying to experience new things and talk to people where I can.
I absolutely LIVE for a good conversation and find myself growing stressed and bent out of shape if I find myself isolated. I often annoy or overwhelm quieter, more shy folks so I want someone to match my energy and have the type of relationship where we stay up until 3 in the morning doing absolutely nothing but sharing stories and flirting when you find a real connection.
Everything you have to say to me would be important even the most mundane of stories and you would be my priority.
I wouldn't call myself clingy and I realize you have a life, I don't want to know what you're up to all the time and I won't keep tabs on you. But realize I genuinely care about what you're life is like, and find great joy in spending time with someone and if you can't make time for that then what's the point of being together?
Maybe I just want someone to adore me as much as I adore them. Someone I can build a future with and gives me motivation and happiness.
I don't really have an idea of what you would look like. I don't really have a "type" whereas most men seem to have a list of traits their ideal woman should have like a coffee drink or something. Hair color, eye color, and nationality never mattered to me though I do find shorter women more attractive (I am six feet tall myself). Hopefully you're not old enough to be my mother or so young it would be creepy.
I want to slow down and relax with someone and be stupid together. Go out and explore the world because shared experiences are always so much more special in my memories than ones where I was alone.
I've been working too hard and been too on my own lately so I dare you to make me stop and think for a moment.
I got time I promise.

Okay so I am not a vegan but I am planning a bachelorette party for one and I have been looking everywhere online for dinner locations. It seems that every upscale location is a steakhouse and half the time you're lucky to find locations that have solid vegetarian options, let alone vegan ones.
Does anybody have any ideas for me? I have us slated to go to The Burrowing Owl after a Saturday hike but I'm not finding anywhere that seems good for a sit-down dinner. It bears noting that it's for a very large party of 14 people, but we can split up if need be.
PLEASE help me with some ideas. I'm tapped.

Still early in my groups new campaign, basically pitched as "Firefly in Eberron". Having trouble from time to time with coming up the the story or interesting missions, but not too bad, and so far so good.
So far, the group was introduced using their airship to steal a cargo car from a lightning rail, finding out the gold they were stealing belonged to the Aurum (as well as a weird little magical golden astrolabe) and their employers (Boromar Clan) wouldn't dare touch it, and almost no one else would.
They found some surface level info on the Aurum, and found a House D'Phiarlan "Escort"/Dancer who offered to fence the gold if they transported some Refugees from Sharn to Valenar.
Lots of Shenanigans on the trip. One of the Refugees, the sister of the escort, turned out to be a doppelganger. Another refugee (a house Cannith) artificer was killed hy the doppelganger. They found out the weird astrolabe connects to their ship and acts as a sort of Ai assistant. And they arrived at Norinath in Valenar.
I tried to leave hooks for where they could go. They rolled really good checks during the trip, so the ship wasn't damaged from the doppelgangers sabotage, so no need to go to Q'barra to get Dragonshards, or negotiate with the Elves for Soarwood. They don't see much gold/reward in escorting the Halfling Family they transported to their home in the talenta plains. The Karrnathi Warmage/NecromanceVeteran they transported is heading home, and they briefly considered helping, but only as a backup if the Elves in Valenar won't pay them well for the gold they stole originally. They figure otherwise the Karrnathi warm age doesn't have a suitable reward to make it interesting.
They did find a journal on the Cannith Artificer, and I mentioned a location he was going to in the Mournland, and something he was trying to recover. I left some details very vague, so a lot to work with, but I am not sure what I would do here.
I did have the idea that the start of next session, as the Refugees are resting in town to set off on their next journeys, and the PCs are resting and looking to negotiate their reward, it would be interesting if something went wrong. That they either refuse to pay, or can't because they are being held hostage? The situation when Utapua was held hostage in Revenge of the Sith came to mind as something interesting. I also remember reading through the Politics of Valenar from the DMs guild, and seeing a blurb avout Yuan Ti working their way trying to secretly take over the town for their own purposes. Maybe this could be interesting? Or Karrnathi Spies? Or agents of Q'barra? Or elves of House Thuranni who resent the Elves of Valenar and Phiarlan?
Idk, those who've played in eberron for a while, or just players in general, does this make sense? Does any of it sound interesting? DMs, how would you run something like this, or does it just seem pointless?

Initial Contact: Description, First Impressions
I was outside, grinding corn, grinding it with the mano, over and over. I couldn't hear the screams of Chimalli, my older brother. He was sprinting, so fast, he tripped over the metate and spilled the corn. “Watch it, you fool!” I shouted, worried that I may get beaten. Nantli didn’t like food waste, and she wouldn’t care that it was foolish Chimalli’s fault. He was gasped for air, his hands on his knees. “Acalan… and I…were hunting…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “We were by the water when we saw this fish, a fish of great size. It wasn’t in the water, it was on top of it! It was brown, and atop it was 10 feet monsters with light skin!” I barked a laugh. “You’d better stop lying, Chimalli.” I decided to put the already ground corn back on the metate and take off the grass left in it. “I swear on the gods I'm not lying! I swear on Huitzilopochtli! Quetzalcoatl! All of them, I swear!”
I rolled my eyes, put the mano on the matate, and got up. “Show me what you’re talking about, fool.” Chimalli grabbed my hand tight and started running as fast as he could. I was whispering prayers to Patecatl, scared that what Chimalli was saying was true. We met up with Acalan and hid behind a bush near the lake. We could see the white-skinned people, and they were covered with weird clothing. They spoke loudly, in a peculiar way. They waved their hands around like birds and marched fiercely like jaguars. My heart was beating so loud, I was scared that Acalan and Chimalli would hear it. “They look so weird,” I whispered. The marched along, with their weird looking animals, amd were headed towards our causeway! Chimalli, Acalan and I exchanged a worried glance. Slowly and carefully, we all left our bush and headed back to the calpolli.
I went inside and saw Nantli sitting down, weaving. When she saw me, her face twisted in rage. “You dare spill the corn, leave the metate and mano unattended, and leave with the boys!? What were you even doing?” I shifted on my feet. Nantli was scary, but hse was understanding. Sometimes. “There are monsters on our land! They have big animals, a big brown fish that can swim ontop of water, and pale skin! The don’t speak Nahuatl, too!” i blurted out everything i saw, even if it didnt make sense. Chimalli was beside me, nodding his head so vigorously that it looked like it was about to fall off. Nantli got even more angry and said, “If you don’t stop lying this instant, i will call your Tahtli!” Chimalli and i both said in unison: NO!
“I swear on Huitzilopochtli! Tepeyollotl too! I even swear on Xolotl!” Chimalli cried as we were bothe getting pulled by the ear by Nantli. We were pulled outside, when we saw Tahtli. His face looked like he’d seen death. “Your foolish, lying children came to me talking nonsense about monsters with pale skin!” Nantli said, but Tahtli wasn’t fased. Tahtli was calmer then Nantli, and he was more wise. That was probably because he was a priest. However he was severe in punsiments. Nantli was all bark and no bite. Tahtli was bite, no bark, and when he did bite, it would last forever. He shook his head. “They're telling the truth. They are like us, but they have come from another land. Spain, they call it.” Nantli’s mouth was open so wide, I was trying my hardest not to laugh. She finally let go of me and Chimalli’s ear, her brows furrowing. “Did Moctezuma talk to them? Did you talk to them? How did they come here?” I side-stepped away from her, rubbing my ear. I exchanged a mischievous glance with Chimalli, and like a tiger, we left as fast and quietly as possible. In front of the door, Acalan was waiting for us impatiently and said, “Let’s go see them again. Maybe we’ll try to talk to them.” Chimalli raised his eyebrows. “Are you nuts!?” He exclaimed. I didn’t think it was a bad idea. Maybe we could understand their intentions. We never got to do that though. We never got to do anything.
Amoxtli
​
Spanish Conquest of the Aztecs
They kidnapped our ruler. The scary, stupid, dumb-looking monsters took our ruler. Foolish Chimalli brought it upon himself to save him. Nothing reasonable ever comes out of that stupid brain of his. He got killed doing it. Atleast he was brave. Braver than me, thats for sure. They have loud, long black tubes that shoot out fire. That killed him. Nantli hasn’t been the same, she doesn’t let me go to school anymore. Tahtli has fallen sick. Why is this happening? Is this a sign? Oh why, oh why? Oh gods, why?
I woke up, the rays of sunlight shining directly into my eyes. I got up, and to my right, was Acalan. He had decided to stay with us since all members of his calpolli had died unfateful deaths. His Nantli got sick, and his Tahtli and all of his other relatives died in the battle with the monsters. Whenever I start to pity myself, I remember Acalan. He’s got it worse. “Good morning,” I said. Acalan nodded, not uttering a word. He was looking outside, and his eyes had this aloof look to them. “Where’s Nantli?” I said, looking around the room. He mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear it. I sensed that he obviously wasn’t okay, so i scooched beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, just try not to think too much about it. I know how you feel, the gods will help us out.” I said softly. He shrugged my hand off his shoulder, and moved away from me. He was looking hard at the ground and whispered, “How can you be so sure?”
“Huh?”
“I said,” He looked at me square in the eye. “How can you be so sure? That’s what everybody’s been saying, but I'm getting tired of it. Face it, Amoxtli. The gods have done nothing for us. They’re just a bunch of stupid stories to scare us. My calpolli would still be here, alive and well. Those monsters wouldn’t have come here. The gods aren’t real.”
I sat there, stunned. What was he saying? He must be mad, because this isn’t the Acalan I know. The Acalan I know was so devout, more than I was. Maybe the grief got him bad. “And no, you don't know how I feel. You will never know how I feel. You ever think about jabbing a spear into your chest? You ever thought about jumping off the mountains, and drowning yourself underwater? You ever think of that? Huh?” Acalan continued. And before I knew it, he was sobbing. Acalan, the soon-to-be soldier who had never shed a tear, the boy whose heart was made out of stone, was crying. He was saying something in between sobs, but I couldn’t understand it. His face was buried in his hands. The truth is, no, I have never thought about any of those things. I didn’t know that Acalan was this affected by it. Maybe I’m the foolish one.
A few hours later, I told Nantli about what Acalan had been saying, except the blasphemous things. That brought out a side of her that i never knew she had. Her face softened, and she nodded with understanding. She comforted Acalan, giving him words of reassurance. Nantli sent me out to get water, since Chimalli wasn’t here to do it anymore. Every passing day I miss him more and more. As i walked through the village, I heard loud, bone-rattling screams. The monsters were pushing and shoving their way into the houses, and coming out with valuables. I stood there, frozen in place watching it all happen. A tall monster stood in front of me, and all I could do was stand there, looking stupid as we both stared at each other. He scowled and grabbed my bucket, throwing it on the floor. “Hey…!” I said quietly. He kicked my bucket and continued walking. I don’t know why I didn’t do anything. I don't know why I just stood there, acting clueless.
I left the bucket and ran, far far away, near the lake. I sat down and dipped my feet in the water, trying to calm down. I saw Acalan in the distance, sauntering towards me. He finally arrived, and joined me, dipping his feet in the lake. We greeted each other, exchanging awkward small talk and sat in silence. “Maybe this is how the world will end.” He said suddenly. I nodded. If that's the case, then I wish it would've waited sooner. I had so much to do, and so much to see, I wanted to be a doctor, and raise warriors. If the world really is ending, I would just be a foolish, scared girl with no importance. Chimalli never got a chance to be the warrior he’s always dreamed of. “If the world is ending, then it's a shame that you won’t be a warrior.” I sighed. “I don't want to be a warrior.” He said sharply. “Isn't that what you always wanted? To be a warrior?” He shook his head vigorously. I furrowed my brows. “Then what do you want to be?”
“Nothing.” He said. Nothing? How could someone not want to be anything? I decided to let it be, and we sat in silence once again.
-Amoxtli
Outcome of the conquest on Aztec Society:
I'm starting to realize that what Acalan said two years ago was true. The gods did nothing. Tahtli passed, and Nantli is sick, she's in horrible condition. I caught Acalan trying to hurt himself twice. He’s been in bad condition as well, even to the point where he hallucinates about his Nantli and his Tahtli and his Achcāuhtli. It's really bad for him. If the gods really cared, they’d put a stop to this madness. If they really cared, we’d be flourishing, and winning against those damned Spaniards. I'm starting to get sick too. At this point, if you don't die in war, you die of sickness, if you don't die of that, you die of starvation. I’ve learned some Spanish, and I'm thinking of converting to whatever their religion is. A few priests came to the village, rambling on and on about their religion. I understood a few words, but not much though.
“You’re so naive, you know that?” Acalan said when I told him about the new religion. I rolled my eyes. “You could give this a chance. Maybe their god will help us.” He shook his head. “Never. If Huitzilopochtli, all-powerful, god of war, can't even help us,” He said in a mocking tone, “Then how will another help us? It's all the same.” I shrugged. “It's worth a shot.” Just then, I heard Nantli cough a hoarse, horrible cough. I jumped up and quickly went to her. I gave her a cup of water and some piptzahuac. After a long coughing fit, she finally caught her breath and said, “I heard what you and Ancalan were saying. He is a bad influence.” My heart felt like it would leap right out of my mouth. Despite this, I kept my calm and tried not to show any emotion. “What?” I said, trying to act clueless. Looking back, it was a stupid thing to do since Nantli already heard everything.
tbc

Imagine picking a gun that is inaccurate as hell, is impossible to point fire, has insane recoil, and the only way to use it remotely properly is to use a mechanic that only works 30% of the time, all for the benefit of having a larger magazine. Thats exactly what Auto Riflemen and Machine gunners are.
Before ICO, if you got a decent position or the element of surprise, you could melt entire squads, take out logi trucks, destroy heli rotors, and slow down or outright stop an enemy assault lane, singlehandly. They could rush HABs and clear buildings like a Doom game. If there was reports of a machine gunner watching your position, nobody dared to peak because if they did, they would have a burst of dead accurate 7.62mm rounds fly into their head. At least until someone had the brilliant idea of repositioning to a different window and popping the machine gunner in his blind spot. Unfortunately for how powerful machine guns were in a perfect scenario, they were ultimately headshot magnets since they needed an exposed position to bipod from and their gun made the muzzle flash equivalent of a Chinese firecracker.
However, after the ICO made changes to LMGs and MMGs that reworked how they operate… they are still headshot magnets, but worse. Now machine guns have this silly gun dispersion that makes hitting anything past 50m accurately near impossible.
In this clip, the OC, while prone with a bipod, gets 7 infantry in his sights. However he is unable to kill a single one because the gun won’t shoot straight, in fact the enemy are still able to return accurate fire even with a MG3 blasting them. So, before ICO you couldn’t be effective without a bipod, after ICO you still can’t but now you can’t be effective even with a bipod. So what now, maybe you can role play as a FSA militant with a PKM and point fire to suppress?
Nope, they also completely butchered machine gun point firing; your soldier can’t even keep the gun in the middle of the screen, and instead sways it to the side like a toddler trying to hold a firetruck hose. So if you stumble upon a guy thats 5-10m away from you, you can’t just point shoot him like a regular gun, you have to fight your own soldier to keep the damn gun pointing forward.
So, you can’t shoot without bipod, you can’t shoot accurate even with a bipod, you can’t shoot point blank with point firing, so what can you do? Well you can now make your enemies’ screens blurry when you shoot and miss them, and even then if they have a scope it completely negates the effect.
So to recap, if you choose auto riflemen or machine gunner, you forfeit your ability to shoot normally for a gun that can’t be effective at any range, needs a bipod, and has a suppression effect that only works on some enemies. TBH marksman is more effective now than machine gunners.
Remember what they took from you

In America, congress passed a bill saying that anti-Zionism is anti-semitism. And I'm glad that Jreg brought up the Haavara Agreement. That gets brought up a lot in the communist discord server I'm using.
The Haavara Agreement occurred in 1933. And it's like a peaceful cleansing. It's when you get a group of people that you hate to voluntarily leave. When modern day neo-Nazis talk about a peaceful cleansing, they're thinking about things like that Haavara Agreement.
Because of this "war" Israel has increasingly become a pariah state, who's only clear ally is the USA. But Israel has become a pariah to pretty much the rest of the world. Israel has the largest amount of Jews being sitting ducks, with it's only clear ally being the USA.
In recent polls, the majority of Americans are against Israel, and the majority of Democrats would love it if America withdrew its support of Israel. If America stops supporting Israel, and Israel being heavily reliant on America, what will they do if they lose American support and another country decides to bomb it?
This "war" has not ONLY been a bad look for Israel, it's been a bad look for the USA. The other superpowers Russia and China have shown nothing but support for Palestine.
Which makes me think of JJ McCullough video. Where he said that the creation of the UN was so that what occurred in Nazi, Germany will never happen to another group of people ever again. That it was firmly believed that what caused Nazi, Germany in the first place was authoritarian regimes, and that this sort of thing would be completely impssible with a democracy. That a democracy will never allow this to happen, which makes it a superior system.
We are living in a time, where people all over the world watched in horror what Israel has done during this "war." And the world has also watched the USA's staunch support of Israel, including threatening to arrest members of the ICC if they arrest Netanyahu, and threatened to invade The Hague, should Netanyahu face arrest.
America bullies Europa into sanctioning China and Russia and boycotting their goods. But again, I'm thinking about that statement that JJ McCullough made. The UN was created so that what happened in Nazi, Germany would never happen to ANY GROUP of people ever again. "Never again" meant any group of people.
But now, instead of the world sitting back in horror as the Holocaust happens. People now are sitting back in horror as more Palestinians are getting erased from the face of this world. Israel is NOT in a war with the West Bank But in the West Bank, houses are being burned down. Palestinians in the West Bank are being shot down like cattle. And what sort of "war" is it when it's completely one-sided?
To me, this action, not only risks turning Israel into a pariah. It also risks turning the US into a pariah. It might seem impossible. But we normally bully Europeans to sanction and disassociate from China and Russia. We just threatened the sovereignty of the Netherlands. The US govt made it clear that we will punish anybody who dares to act against Israel. We also demand that you disassociate from China and Russia because of the type of govts that they have. As comedian Jon Stewart frequently points out. There is some chrystal clear hypocrisy and double standards going on here.
You have two superpowers which are completely aligned with the rest of Europe when it comes to Israel's treatment of the Palestinian people. And you have one democractic, superpower, that bullies you and threatens you if you so much as arrest Netanyahu.
No govt should be bullied into doing anything that it doesn't want to do. I wouldn't be surprised if Europeans would rather get along with China, on the condition, that it respects its soverignity and doesn't push it to do things that it doesn't want to do. Like some sort of treaty where the Europeans remove the sanctions, and in return, China doesn't pressure Europe to doing things that they don't want to do. For Europe to be able to make independent decision that's without the influence of a superpower.
Don't get me wrong. As a US citizen, I hate the idea of the US becoming an pariah country. But there has been an uptick of news of various people leaving the Biden administration because they feel like his actions harms America's credibility to the rest of the world. So many comedians are cracking jokes about America's hypocrisy, and people are leaving the Biden administration because they agree with the comedians. Including us cracking down on TikTok because people criticize the Israeli govt a lot on TikTok.
How could we brag about being the world's freest country and value liberty and freedom more than any other country. While we crack down on protesters and crack down on apps because of speech that we don't like? Where we are reliant of censorship and a militarized police presence to crack down on speech that we don't like.
Our Fouding Fathers believe that Free Speech is the most important freedom that you can ever have, along with the freedom to protest and boycott.
I cannot predict the future. I don't watch CNN, but I do read CNN. When you read CNN, they are very critical of Israel. But, youtubers have pointed out that when you watch CNN, it's different. I wouldn't know. But from my experience, there are main stream news outlets critical of Israel. And there are big named comedians like John Oliver and Jon Stewart, who're critical of Israel. There are over 1,000 Hollywood celebrities that signed an open letter from a website of Artists4Ceasefire.
I don't know what will occur in the future because there are people with a lot of fame and a lot of wealth who are critical of Israel. It's unlikely that we're going to start arresting Hollywood celebrities for having speech the govt doesn't like.

Before I start, this story is long, and I'll repeat myself a lot; my first goal is to get what's inside me out and vent, so please be patient and if you respond be respectful, please.
I (29M) came out of the closet about two years ago, but living in the environment I live in, I couldn't be as open as I would have liked until recently. During that time, I lost a lot of weight and gained confidence in myself, which made it easier for me to open up to the world that interested me. I'm not someone with much experience when it comes to sex, but I've had my adventures, mostly with women, but once I accepted who I am, my experiences shifted towards men. In recent years, I've had fleeting relationships and two relationships that lasted more than four months, but in recent months, I've been puzzled by a situation I've had to live through, and that's why I'm writing this here, to see if the perspective of strangers helps me clarify my thoughts a bit.
I don't consider myself ugly; I can even be attractive, both physically and in personality, but insecurities have affected me since I was very young. This story begins in September of last year when I started working at a new company. The workgroup consists of about 30 colleagues, some of whom I knew from before. But the story focuses on a guy (32M), let's call him Stephen. I must mention that he didn't attract me at first; he's not my physical type. But around November, as I got to know him, I was attracted to his personality, which surprised me because I'm usually a very superficial person (I know I need to work on that), and it's not very common for me to be attracted to someone because of their personality.
Over time, I formed a very close group of friends, who told each other everything that happened in our daily lives, so it was only a matter of time before I mentioned to them that I was attracted to Stephen. The three colleagues, Anna (37F), Violet (36F), and Lily (20F), were happy for me and told me that the interest seemed mutual because they thought the guy was getting very close to me. I liked that because I had already noticed that the jokes or comments I made to him received the same response, or at least he played along.
We reached December, we organized a dinner with some colleagues, and both he and I attended. By then, my colleagues had been pressuring me a lot to tell him something, but since we only had a relationship at work, I didn't dare to take the step; it didn't seem right to me. I also mentioned my situation to my friends, who could give me another point of view, but they all told me that not seeing the relationship we had made it difficult for them to evaluate it. I must mention that all this was happening while I was seeing another guy, John (27M), in a stable relationship for 6 months.
At the dinner and at the after-party, Stephen didn't leave my side. If I went out to smoke, he came out with me even though he doesn't smoke; if I had a drink, he accompanied me to the bar. My colleagues were ecstatic because they saw that this was the night something was going to happen. Well, it didn't. Between my relationship with John and the nerves of the moment, I didn't dare to do anything. But I already saw clearly that with those ideas in my head, the relationship with John was unfeasible; he was no longer my priority. We broke up during the following week.
I was already going all out for Stephen; I was attracted to his personality, to what he could offer me in a relationship. The week before Christmas arrived. We had a one-week break from work, and I didn't want to leave with doubts on vacation. On Tuesday of that week, I went to talk to him about the subject, determined, but when I started talking, I saw that we weren't alone, and I didn't dare to continue. I didn't dare again until Friday; he insisted that I finish saying what I had to tell him, which excited me even more because in my head, what I wanted to tell him seemed obvious.
Friday came, the last day for me to tell him something. When there was an hour left to finish the workday, I saw that we were alone, and I approached him. I was very nervous, I even stuttered, but I practically told him that I found him a very interesting guy and that I would like to get to know him outside of work, to which he responded that he was flattered but that he was not homosexual. It crushed me. I tried to disguise it by saying that he had become a very important support at work and that I wouldn't want this to ruin that relationship; he accepted it.
I left there as quickly as possible, holding back tears as best I could (yes, very teenage everything). I met up with my colleagues and told them what had happened. They supported me, but they kept saying that they didn't believe Stephen, that the relationship we had wasn't just friendship. I didn't give importance to that; at that moment I just wanted to forget what had happened. It was one of the toughest Christmases I've ever had. My family didn't know anything, my friends outside of work didn't understand it, and my work colleagues kept insisting that I needed to clarify things even more with him. My head was spinning.
I decided that I was going to fulfill what I said to Stephen, that the work relationship would continue as it had until that moment. The first week was weird and tough, I won't deny it, but I handled it quite well. I insisted that my colleagues avoid the subject, but it was impossible not to see the looks every time Stephen and I talked. Over time, we've returned to jokes, and although there's attraction on my part, I've come to understand that nothing will ever happen between us. Or so I thought. The last month I've had abrupt changes in my life. My grandmother died, I started dating Parker (33M), I got promoted at work, and I moved out on my own. It's important to mention, I think, that Stephen was my superior, and now, with the promotion, he's my immediate superior, I have to answer to him. So we spend much more time together, and we've come to know each other more intimately. I know about his problems with family, his friends, his plans for the weekend... But he never talks to me about relationships. We have a colleague who lives in the same city as Stephen, who has known him for years, and my colleagues, being the gossips they are, interrogated her about Stephen, and she managed to find out that he has never had a known relationship, nor has he had relationships with anyone, which surprised us all because, even though he's not my type, he's an athletic and quite attractive man.
Meanwhile, physical contact has emerged; he touches my shoulder when speaking, he hugs me when greeting me in the mornings... That was what I was missing. Just when I was rebuilding my life after the Christmas fiasco, to doubt again because of physical contact, once more when I was in a relationship that seemed perfect on the surface. More doubts on the subject. I had been with Parker for three months; I met him at a party with friends, in early February, falling back into the same old mistakes, focusing on the physical and then on the personality, luckily we were compatible, until feelings for Stephen surfaced again. The relationship faded, literally, no sex, no affection, no compatibility. My work colleagues didn't accept Parker, they were still insisting on Stephen. We come to yesterday, I broke up with Parker last week, and I really felt bad because it seemed to me that I was making the same mistakes as with John, obsessing over a relationship that didn't exist, that I had already received rejection for. But I moved to my new house, perfect for me, and liked by everyone, even Stephen. Today I received the comment that led me to speak here. I have organized a dinner next weekend at my house, Stephen is coming, he has asked to stay the night, I only have one bed, he has said we will share with a wink. I got excited, but I don't want to. I couldn't bear another fiasco. My work colleagues are already on cloud nine.
So I ask, do I have reasons to be excited or is it all in my head?

My group and I started playing MTG back in 94. Throughout that time, we've come to agree that the one flaw in its glorious design is the 'mana screw'. It takes you out of the game without the other player doing a thing. We've all been there; 3 lands in your draw so you go for it then...nothing. Its turn 6 and you've got 3 lands, your fast stuff is already played and now you are drawing dead while the other person/people are cruising to victory. It feels especially bad in Commander where you've committed to an hour+ game and basically just observing or being the punching-bag for the other players when they feel so inclined.
The last few years we've been playing a variation of the rules that attempts to fix this problem. After a lot of playtest, we've come to agree it really makes the game a lot more fun and don't use the 'regular rules' anymore. One of my longtime friends said it removed the only 'hump' to the gameplay in his mind. Thus I wanted to share it with 'the world' and hope you might like it as well.
Before I go on a few caveats and disclaimers:

1. I am certain there are ways to break this because you can break anything in MTG. So I don't care about the 'well actually...' types that want to point out how to do this.
2. We do not play at the competitive "I went infinite on turn 2" level. We almost exclusively play commander at this point, some of it 'salty' (commanders like Tergrid and Elesh Norn). So how it works in 60 card is less explored, but we have run some games using it without issue.
3. "Know your foe". Meaning we have a caveat that if you are playing a Landfall deck, you cannot use this variation because it clearly would cause problems with that mechanic. If playing a stranger, be sure to find this out first.
4. I don't work for WotC so while I'll try to present it as they would, I'll likely fail.
5. It still won't fix a mana-flood. Sorry.

Without further ado; we call this "Land Bank". How it works:
You remove 3 completely basic lands from your deck, shuffle them (unless its mono-color) and place them in the Command Zone. On your draw step, you can replace your regular draw by drawing from the land bank. There are no mulligans. In a nutshell, this is "it" with the following rules:

1. The decision to replace the draw comes after the check to see if there are any cards left in your regular library. Meaning that you cannot draw from the land bank to prevent yourself from dying because your library is empty.
2. You cannot draw from the land bank as part of any extra draw effect. It can only be drawn from as a replacement to your standard draw.
3. If an effect causes you to draw more than 1 card as part of your standard draw, and you wish to draw from the land bank, you only draw 1 card.
4. If an effect causes you to skip your regular draw step (such as Necropotence), you cannot draw from the land bank.
5. The land bank cannot be targeted by any mill effect; it is in the command zone (for starters). Likewise, you cannot self-mill the land bank as part of any other effect or cost.
6. We really do mean 'completely basic' lands. No original dual lands- nothing but the 5 box-stock basic lands and Wastes.

Optional rule: In the event of true mulligan (no lands at all), you can mulligan. We are toying with this idea.
And thats it. Enjoy!
PS: For all the negative posts that follow- How dare we have fun with our game variant. AmIRight?

So today's video with the Karen claiming the lady scratched her car reminded me of a Karen Encounter (?Karencounter?) of my own a few years back.
I had gone to buy my friend a gift at the local mall. The parking spaces are quite tight at this mall, but I have an excellent driving record and I'm always super careful about parking. So I park my car and carefully open the door to get out. I get out successfully, but as I'm climbing out my handbag clatters against the window of the car next to mine. I look down to make sure there's no damage (none at all) and as I do so I notice a lady sitting inside. Now I'm raised to be very polite, so I try to reassure the lady, "Ma'am, don't worry, it was just my handbag against the window and there is no damage to your car".
Karen starts fuming and asking how dare I bump into her car. I repeat, "Ma'am, it was my handbag against your window, not the car door, and there is no damage. You can come check".
She starts climbing out the car, screaming "I will most definitely come check! I saw you! You slammed your car door into mine!"
At this point my flabbers are fully gasted, but I say to her, "come have a look", because obviously, anyone can see that the car is spotless, and this will surely calm her down.
I kid you not - this woman looks at her perfectly spotless car, and exclaims, "SEE! You scratched it right THERE!"
It slowly dawns on me that I have awakened some kind of demon, so I take a breath and very calmly say, "Ma'am, there is nothing there".
Karen starts rubbing furiously at the car (no idea what she was thinking, maybe rub off some paint to show a scratch?). "There IS a scratch, look!"
"Ma'am, there is nothing there. I did not knock my door against your car. It was my handbag clattering on your window" I show her the buckle on my bag, for illustrative purposes.
This is not enough.
The tirade continues, until two kindly people walk by and ask what is going on. I try to explain. Karen rants. The people have a look at the car: "Erm, we don't see any scratch", visibly confused.
Karen realises the tides have turned against her, gets in her car, and furiously speeds away. I thank the kind strangers and carry on my shopping.

Ho dovuto postare una seconda parte perché a quanto pare i testi non possono avere più di 40000 caratteri (ed io stavo sui 52000). Anyways, here it is:
Ritornando un attimo sulla storia della mia sopravvivenza, è arrivato settembre, andiamo, è tempo di migrare... e dopo il trasferimento l'11 settembre comincia per me una nuova avventura (che, neanche a dirlo apposta, avrebbe accelerato in modo pauroso il collasso della mia economia mentale); io mi stavo già preparando ad un viaggio nella solitudine più totale, perché sapevo cosa era successo in precedenza (e spesso, se non sempre, continuavo a persistere nell'utopica speranza che quell'amore di 4 anni prima mi chiamasse e mi disse di come si fosse pentita di essersi allontanata da me e che in realtà mi voleva anche lei [questo per far capire quanto solo mi sentissi, e che ero abbastanza stanco della vita per correre un altro rischio {"when we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered a long time ago" - Friedrich Nietzsche}] [e sì, faccio spesso ricorso a citazioni per cercare di spiegare la situazione, anche a me stesso, forse perché, come diceva Camus, essendo codardo sono nella continua ricerca di una filosofia che giustifichi le mie azioni]). Già quel giorno, per puro caso, si siede accanto a me un ragazzo che per puro caso sarebbe diventato la prima componente della mia comitiva universitaria durata ben 9 mesi (in effetti sì, è stato un periodo di gestazione di un mostro che ancora fatico a comprendere [è anche vero che tutto ciò è accaduto da 5 giorni, quindi in teoria dovrei darmi il tempo di metabolizzare questo colpo al cuore e all'anima; tanto che {ormai avete visto quanto è lungo questo post, ha l'aria di un romanzo senza gli edit con un filo narrativo pressoché inesistente} ho pensato di scrivere questo post {e quindi rivolgermi ad un luogo dove un po' di psicologia ci dovrebbe essere, dato che come detto mi sà la terza volta, lo psicologo non risponde} in una di quelle occasioni di "revenge bedtime procrastination", ma ad un certo punto ero così stanco di stare al telefono e pensare e scrivere {ecco, questo è un esempio di occasione in cui mi ero stancato abbastanza dei miei pensieri e della mia esposizione al telefono che mi sono costretto ad andare a dormire} che ho spento il telefono nel momento in cui ho finito di scrivere l'ottava riga del sesto paragrafo {questa metrica si riferisce alla versione di reddit da computer, perché adesso sto scrivendo da pc}, e la mattina dopo mi sono accorto che la bozza che avevo cominciato a scrivere la notte precedente {anche se tecnicamente dalle 22:20 circa che ho cominciato sono andato a dormire che erano le 1:30 più o meno, anche perché in quel lasso di tempo ho dovuto fare la quotidiana lezione di tedesco su Duolingo} si era cancellata nel momento in cui, senza rendermene conto, ho chiuso l'applicazione, quindi ho passato un buon paio d'ore in biblioteca il giorno successivo a ricopiare degli screenshot che avevo fatto della bozza che stavo creando proprio perché, essendo conscio del fatto che ero stanco, ma che avevo bisogno di scrivere tutto quello {o questo} che avevo dentro a qualcuno o da qualche parte, e sapendo che sarei potuto essere così sbadato da cancellare questa confessione di una "vita" e sprecare le 3 ore iniziali in cui ho avuto il coraggio di parlare di me da qualche parte {a quanto pare se lo faccio con soggetti fisici concreti corrono a prendere le distanze da me}, mi era venuta in mente quest'idea, che io onestamente considero una genialata {giusto per mettermi un po' di hype}, e oggi, dopo aver finito di ricopiare le ultime righe sul pc ho proseguito {e sto proseguendo} la scrittura di questa spiegazione-rant]). Nei giorni successivi avrei conosciuto un altro paio di persone (tra cui anche la ragazza più estroversa della facoltà, che sarebbe diventata anche lei, in a miracuolous turn of events, componente della comitiva in cui sarei stato per un po'), e quel ragazzo che avevo conosciuto il primo giorno mi avrebbe aggiunto al gruppo whatsapp della comitiva (che, notizia, era stato creato un mese prima della mia aggiunta). Come al solito, i primi mesi vanno bene, siamo contenti del nostro polo, immerso nella natura o con una biblioteca moderna ed estetica, e ogni tanto, come una buona condotta da vita studentesca universitaria comanda, ci concedevamo uno spritz per staccare dallo studio e parlare un po'. A questo punto uno potrebbe dire: hey, ma nei primi paragrafi non ti stavi lamentando di quanto fossi asociale e non riuscissi a mantenere un'amicizia per più di un respiro? Esattamente, e fino ad adesso ho detto solo la verità (se avessi voluto mentire sarei andato su fiction o qualcosa del genere [ah, non sapevo nemmeno esistesse un tale subreddit, nel momento in cui sono andato a scriverlo il nome si è colorato di blu ed è diventato un link, ahahah]), ma in quel periodo, per qualche strana ragione, avevo incontrato gente e fatto un paio di amici / conoscenze, e questa volta non parevano dare segni di neurodivergenze (ah, e in tutto questo quel mio famoso amico delle superiori [a questo punto diamogli un nome, chiamiamolo Rana] ha detto [e ogni tanto sento continuare a dire] che sta avendo the time of his life).
[interruzione momentanea paragrafo]
Aaaa, in tutto questo mi sono dimenticato di specificare una cosa (anche se potrebbe essere logicamente dedotta, ma, arrivati a questo punto, perché trattenersi? ahah). Avendo passato adolescenza con un'assenza di amicizie (durante l'infanzia avevo un gruppetto di 4 amici [io ed altri 3, e ci siamo separati a causa proprio di quel maledetto trasferimento {anche se alla fine era perché mio padre doveva aiutare mia nonna, sua madre, a prendersi cura di mio nonno, che allora aveva delle condizioni di salute che stavano peggiorando acceleratamente, ma forse essendo ancora bambino, e in aggiunta sulla soglia del passaggio all'adolescenza, quindi con un'infinitesimale quantità di coscienza che si stavo sviluppando, non avevo ancora superato quella fase di "egoismo" che magari i bambini possono avere, e non avevo quel briciolo di empatia che, se l'avessi avuto, avrei probabilmente preso meno male la situazione}{per la cronaca, mio nonno paterno se n'è andato durante il periodo in cui io facevo la 2a media e mio nonno materno ci ha lasciati tragicamente mentre io facevo la 3a media, tanto che mi ricordo che per un periodo di lunghezza non trascurabile rispetto all'annata scolastica della 3a media dopo scuola io e la mia famiglia andavamo a casa di mia nonna per stare insieme dato che aveva perso una persona così talmente cara da poco {se vi state chiedendo perché abbiamo fatto così per mia nonna materna e non per mia nonna paterna è perché mia nonna paterna ha due figli, mio padre e mia zia paterna, che vive proprio sotto di lei, quindi ci andava lei ad aiutarla a consolarsi della perdita, mentre mia nonna materna, ha tre figli, un po' sparsi dappertutto {ma vicini di paese} e poi sul fronte materno la famiglia è molto più unita dal punto di vista familiare rispetto al fronte paterno, e mia madre è sempre stata una persona molto emotiva e sensibile, quindi quando mia madre e i miei zii hanno saputo della tragedia subito hanno voluto riunirsi intorno al nido per mostrare supporto {chissà perché, forse è proprio per questo motivo che mio padre è una persona così fredda e piena di rabbia repressa, forse proprio perché anche lui non ha sentito il calore dell'affetto familiare e sempre percepito la fredda distanza dei genitori}{forse anche lui ha vissuto in una famiglia che non l'ha considerato tanto e che lo reprimeva per ogni vezzo che esprimeva, ed avendo interiorizzato questi atteggiamenti li sta esternando nella sua famiglia in cui può comandare perché conosce solo quel modo di "gestire" una famiglia {"Chi combatte con i mostri deve guardarsi dal non diventare egli stesso un mostro. E se guarderai a lungo nell'abisso, l'abisso guarderà dentro di te" - Friedrich Nietzsche}}} e lei piangeva, e questo mi struggeva}])(ok, forse la parentesi tonda di prima non poteva essere dedotta logicamente, ma vabbè, intanto ecco i dettagli mancanti) dell'affetto conoscevo ben poco, se non cosa non era. Il fatto che non fossi un people person non aiutava per niente: avevo una seria e preoccupante mancanza di abbracci (ce la sto avendo tutt'ora, eh), e (anche) per questo non so come mostrare affetto, perché non mi è mai stato insegnato come farlo (per dirla in linguaggio più moderno, non mi è mai stato fatto un tutorial di dimostrazione d'affetto); l'unica volta in cui venivo abbracciato era dai parenti, o per delle festività (capodanno, prima del 2019 intendo, e dal 2019 in poi solo dai miei genitori, perché ci siamo immessi nella comitiva della palma, compleanni e cose del genere comunque). Delle eccezioni sono avvenute durante gli anni del liceo (altro motivo per cui mi mancano così tanto quegli anni [anche se sono terminati "solo" 11 mesi fa]), quando ogni tanto una ragazza, carinissima e sensibile secondo me (sarà anche perché pensava un po' di più a quello che diceva, ascoltava musica più piacevole rispetto al resto [e siccome per me la musica è tutto avrò avuto un giudizio un po' biased] e le piaceva leggere, quindi probabilmente per questo mi sembrava diversa; avrete già intuito che lei era la mia 3a cotta, anche perché un giorno mi ha scritto out of the blue "come stai?" [i livelli di delusione affettiva sono alle stelle, ahahah] e ogni morte di papa proponeva una partita a scacchi [ma letteralmente ogni morte di papa, penso ci voglia meno a dare un battito di ciglia regolare che a contare quante volte me l'abbia chiesto])(dopo la sua socialità ha preso il sopravvento, ed ha scelto di risaltare il lato estroverso su quello "introverso" [nel senso di diverso dalla norma {perché penso veramente che il mondo così com'è oggi spinga pesantemente l'immagine della persona estroversa, e chiunque non si trovi a suo agio con la norma proposta è destinato a vivere come un ostracizzato finché non decide di estirpare la sua autenticità in nome di una maschera normalizzata}]) era così gentile da darmi un abbraccio ogni tanto alla fine della mattinata di lezioni prima che tornasse a casa, oppure quando la classe organizzava dei gatherings (e in quelle volte in cui invitavano davvero tutti) (sempre prima che se ne andasse) oppure c'erano compleanni, forse perché vedeva che facevo un po' fatica ad inserirmi nel gruppo e che ero un po' "diverso" diciamo (per quanto riguarda Rana lui non si sentiva tanto a suo agio col contatto fisico [non so se è proprio una peculiarità del suo tipo di autismo]); questo lo apprezzavo veramente tanto (e per quello ho detto che loro avevano un alto grado d'inclusione, anche perché durante quei gatherings durante la notte tardi ci sentivamo veramente a nostro agio a parlare anche di faccende abbastanza personali) e nel momento in cui è venuto a mancare ci sono rimasto abbastanza male. Un'altra occasione dove mi ricordo distintamente che ci sono stati abbracci è stato il primo gathering da quando abbiamo iniziato il quinto superiore (verso fine settembre): ad un certo punto una compagna di classe (di quelle che partiva anche con un bicchiere di vino) mi chiede come va ed io, sapendo che era un po' brilla (e che di conseguenza si sarebbe potuta scordare abbastanza rapidamente di quello che le avrei detto [mentre io avrei avuto l'occasione di "sfogarmi" con qualcuno, nel senso di raccontare veramente quel che sentivo, togliendo più filtri possibili]) decido di raccontare la verità; per fare ciò ci sediamo alla base della scalinata a chiocciole della casa del compagno che stava ospitando il gathering, e cominciamo a parlare, ed essendo pure lei atta a chiacchierate di questo tipo (mi spiego: a lei piace fare queste parlate di tipo consolatorio, tanto che adesso sta studiando medicina con l'intenzione di fare la specializzazione in psichiatria) la conversazione assume un tono carico di emozioni, tanto che io arrivo on the verge of crying e qui scatta il famoso abbraccio (che è durato anche abbastanza, parlo di un 10-20 secondi buoni). Dopo è accaduta anche un'altra cosa che ha fatto entrare quella serata nei miei ricordi più cari: a noi si è avvicinata l'anima della festa (colui che aveva un carisma così alto che riusciva a coinvolgere quasi letteralmente chiunque nel centro della festa), e sentita della situazione invita chiunque sia in un raggio ragionevolmente vicino (e chi aveva voglia) ad avvicinarsi a noi e a creare un enorme abbraccio di gruppo: io ero al centro con tutti i miei compagni che volevano lì ad abbracciarmi, ed è stato veramente bello, perché almeno per una volta mi sono sentito al centro di una dimostrazione d'affetto di gruppo nei miei confronti (e il fatto che qualcuno mi mostri affetto non mi è per niente scontato)
[ripresa del paragrafo interrotto]
Ebbene, questa ""piccola"" interruzione era per tentare di spiegare un po' un'altra stranezza di questo periodo: quella ragazza estroversa che ho introdotto prima (chiamiamola Mirtillo) aveva proprio una personalità solare, tanto che dopo un po' che stavamo nello stesso circolo (e quindi si era instaurata un minimo di confidenza) si sono presentati i primi abbracci amichevoli (cosa sono? non ne ho la benché minima idea, ma sapevo solo che mi piacevano, nel senso, mi piaceva che qualcuno mi abbracciasse così all'improvviso [tanto all'improvviso non era, perché tecnicamente si concentravano al 99% quando o lei se ne doveva andare o io me ne dovevo andare, e quell'1% in realtà era un misto tra abbracci e lei che appoggiava la testa sul mio braccio quando stavamo a lezione {magari in una fila dietro, non tanto vicina alla cattedra o alle lavagne} ed era un po' "stanca"]). Quindi Mirtillo era diventata un barlume di speranza dopo che avevo passato l'estate precedente a convincermi che nessuno mi avrebbe riabbracciato come successo miracolosamente alle superiori, e naturalmente (beh, non tanto, ma dati i miei traumi passati non so se c'era qualche altra possibilità) mi sono sentito un po' attaccato a lei (in qualche modo questo ricorda quella seconda cotta che ho avuto al campo della parrocchia, proprio perché mi ha mostrato affetto ho sentito qualcosa che non pensavo fosse possibile a quel punto, ovvero un sentimento); peccato che lei era fidanzata, quindi non c'era alcun orizzonte per cui ci avrei potuto provare, perché quale villano ruba la ragazza di un altro e rovina una relazione perfettamente salutare? (dal suo profilo insta si vedeva che lei ed il ragazzo erano molto felici insieme). Beh, c'è qualcuno che evidentemente non ci ha pensato a queste cose, ed il problema è che era una componente della comitiva, e molto probabilmente proprio la ragione per cui sta crollando come un castello di sabbia (almeno sul mio fronte) forse perché avvertendo la mia debolezza questo tale (che per poter proseguire il racconto chiamo Nilo) ha cominciato pure ad assumere degli atteggiamenti molto appiccicosi nei miei confronti (in realtà lo faceva un po' con tutti nella nostra comitiva). Fast forward 4 mesi Nilo mi scrive dicendo che aveva qualcosa da dire, e dopo un po' arriva a dire che aveva confessato a Mirtillo di provare dei sentimenti per lei (forse sarebbe da dire che, in tutto questo, Nilo e Mirtillo spesso andavano via dalla biblioteca universitaria insieme, perché essendo pendolari dovevano entrambi fare tappa alla stazione dei treni per poter tornare a casa [per prendere un bus apposta]), e proprio per questo si stava cominciando a distaccare il più possibile dalla compagnia (per il solo scopo di non vedere Mirtillo [un po' come ho tentato di fare io quando ho cancellato la chat con Loto], cominciando ad andare a studiare in altri poli universitari [ah, perché mi sono dimenticato di dire che per i primi 4 mesi {considerati un semestre dal regolamento universitario} siamo stati in un polo {chiamiamolo polo M}, e poi ci hanno trasferiti nel polo dove dovremmo essere stati fin dall'inizio, ma così non è stato perché stavano facendo dei lavori {chiamiamo il polo che spetta a noi matematici polo P}{per la cronaca, polo P e polo M e sono separati da un dislivello, in cui polo P sta a 10 minuti a piedi di salita a partire da polo M}]). E in tutto questo gli altri componenti della comitiva (ovvero colui che mi ha aggiunto al gruppo whatsapp [chiamiamolo Limone] ed un altro [chiamiamolo Fava]) avvertono il disagio che Mirtillo prova quando Nilo è nei suoi dintorni da quando le ha confessato i sentimenti (andando difatti a rompere quel rapporto di leggerezza tipico di un'amicizia [andando a pretendere che quello che sentiva fosse ricambiato per la sola ragione che Mirtillo era confidentemente estroversa, ma lui scambiava queste espressioni di carattere estroverso per segni di affetto che potrebbero essere stati sfruttati per guadagnare una relazione {e quindi, forse, in qualche modo, tramutati in una forma d'amore {quindi logicamente completamente ignorando che Mirtillo fosse in una relazione}}, e questo potrebbe essere motivato dal fatto che neanche lui si fosse trovato bene alle superiori {testuali parole, non so altri dettagli e onestamente non penso sia importante al fine di ciò che devo fare} e ogni volta che torna a casa sua {nel senso, dove è cresciuto}{che dista 6 ore di treno dalla città universitaria} è "costretto" a lavorare nel ristorante dei suoi {dove entrambi lavorano}, e così è sempre stato da quando ha potuto iniziare a lavorare {per motivi legali}, e dal momento che i suoi sono sempre stati impegnati col ristorante, e durante le festività spesso erano impegnati e "lontani" dalla famiglia, sono arrivato a congetturare che anche lui si fosse sentito estraneo dalla sua famiglia, e che gli mancasse effettivamente quell'intimità che con i genitori è necessaria, perché loro sono il tuo primo ponte col mondo, coloro che te ne danno una prima rappresentazione quando tu non sai niente di esso, e perciò se ne hai una cattiva impressione all'inizio non si possono sviluppare altro che tossicità con l'andare avanti della vita]). Per questo si è creata una sorta di spaccatura all'interno della comitiva, in cui Limone e Fava stavano dalla parte di Mirtillo (perché a tutti gli effetti era lei la più simpatica e socievole del gruppo, e quindi quella che naturalmente attrae persone [ah, e preciso che in nessuno modo loro ci avrebbero provato con Mirtillo, perché a loro piace Banana {non è un personaggio introdotto chissà quando, ma forse potete intuire a cosa mi riferisco ;)}]), e lei si sentiva a disagio ogni volta che Nilo era vicino (e la situazione era peggiorata a tal punto che se Nilo si sedeva in un punto Mirtillo cercava un posto lontano, ma comunque nelle prime file [perchè altrimenti non avrebbe visto cosa era scritto sulla lavagna], e se non lo trovava si sedeva con gran riluttanza in un posto vicino Nilo, ma non proprio accanto, perché altrimenti avrebbe passato più di metà della lezione a sopportare i suoi atteggiamenti appiccicosi [perchè non riusciva a reprimere l'"amore" che provava per lei]) e Nilo stava un po' per i conti suoi dal punto di vista sociale (si stava isolando perché non voleva un ricordo di quanto male fosse andata quando si era dichiarato a Mirtillo, lei mostrava visibilmente disagio quando lui le ronzava attorno,...). E in tutto questo c'ero io, che in fondo volevo che la comitiva restasse unita, e quindi non ho assunto esplicitamente una parte (e questo Nilo lo sapeva, e infatti per i 2 mesi successivi [dalla "spaccatura" fino alla data di scrittura di queso post] mi avrebbe continuato a sfruttare come ponte tra lui e quella bella porzione di comitiva che emanava energia positiva, che dava una buona impressione di solarità).
[Aggiornamento 12/05/2024: il famoso psicologo ha finalmente risposto, ma ha detto che non può prendere altri pazienti; in compenso ha offerto altri due nominativi che offrono anche servizi si sessione online (dal momento che sono fuorisede), e in più chiedendo in giro ho trovato un nominativo (femminile questa volta) di cui pare ci si possa fidare; adesso dovrò fare altre chiamate e vedere come va]
Da quanto successo finora si può capire quanto la vita sociale che avevo all'università fosse abbastanza disagiante, e non vedevo l'ora di ritornare dai miei per le vacanze di Pasqua (giusto un weekend, ma non sarei stato da solo come al solito). La mattina in cui avevo il treno non vedevo l'ora di finire la valigia e prendere quel bus che mi avrebbe portato alla stazione dei treni da cui sarei potuto tornare a casa. Solo che quella mattina (era un venerdì) fu molto diversa dal solito: mi sveglio con un messaggio di Mirtillo che mi chiede se volevo conoscere una ragazza (sua amica) (che tra l'altro era in ricerca di un ragazzo). Ora, dato il passato pieno di fallimenti non superati e l'esperienza fallita con Loto che inconsciamente permaneva (e avendo sviluppato un malsano stile d'attaccamento affettivo nel mentre [quindi in disperato bisogno di aiuto professionista, anche se non lo volevo ammettere]) avrei dovuto dire che in realtà non ero pronto per una relazione (nota: in tutto questo Mirtillo sapeva di Loto), ma essendomi appena svegliato ed avendo bisogno di amore ho felicemente accettato. {da questo momento in poi l'amica di Mirtillo si chiamerà Liana} Ebbene, Mirtillo mi passa il numero e io e Liana ci cominciamo a scrivere (c'è da dire che lei è molto timida e, a detta di Mirtillo, sviluppava amicizie moolto lentamente) in un arco di tempo che spannava tutta la mattinata (spesso con pause molto lunghe tra i messaggi). Nei giorni a seguire ci continuiamo a scrivere (e vediamo un po' cosa ci piace e cosa potremmo avere in comune [e io cerco di forzare su di me delle abilità d'intrattenere una conversazione e non essere tanto noioso, un po' perchè non ho avuto tanti amici, e quei pochi hanno sempre {le eccezioni, come detto prima, sono arrivate 9 anni dopo l'abbandono della mia compagnia delle elementari} avuto dei problemi; da qui inizio una malsana ossessione con qualsiasi libro che promette di aiutare le persone a mantenere più facilmente una conversazione, o comunque aumentare il carisma ed avere un approccio con la vita più tranquillo]), e ogni volta che le mando un messaggio aspetto con trepidazione il suo (e quando non rispondeva "abbastanza velocemente" [intendo più o meno nel primo paio di minuti] mi assaliva quasi un senso di tristezza malinconica, come se ad un certo punto non mi volesse più sentire [ma questa cosa non era solo ed esclusivamente per questi "brevi" distacchi, ma soprattutto per quelle volte in cui mandavo un messaggio e non rispondeva per 3 ore, oppure visualizzava e non rispondeva fino a 2 ore dopo]; ora, si potrebbe dire che questo è uno stile di attaccamento molto tossico, come se lei fosse diventata il centro della mia felicità, e ogni volta che la sua presenza mancava andava a perdersi anche la felicità del giorno; ma, era una di quelle poche volte [se non l'unica] in cui qualcuno mi voleva per cose che andavano oltre i bisogni accademici, solo per poter parlare del più e del meno). In tutto questo davo periodici aggiornamenti a Mirtillo sull'andamento della situazione, un po' per comunicare il mio entusiasmo di quella sublime novità a qualcuno (tenermi le cose dentro mi h a sempre portato a male finora, quindi adesso che posso dire qualcosa a qualcuno, perché non farlo?), e lei mi dava consigli su come approcciare una persona per farmela amica (non con tono da professionista chiaramente, mi diceva solo come faceva più o meno lei), e di evitare atteggiamenti di love bombing, perché se ne sarebbe solamente andata (nel senso prenderla molto piano ed evitare di vederla immediatamente come potenziale ragazza). Nonostante i continui aiuti e quelli che potremmo definire "supporti", io continuavo ad avere i miei dubbi quando non mi scriveva per un po' oppure mi parlava di come facesse cose con gli amici (insomma, lei era una ragazza single in cerca di un lui, e non ci vuole un granché per essere più sociali e carismatici di me [basta letteralmente respirare], quindi avevo paura che entrasse facilmente qualcuno nella sua vita e mi portasse via quella che in tutti i sensi era una mano calata dal cielo [insomma, quando mi sarebbe ricapitato che qualcuno mi presenta una persona così sensibile che è anche in grado di mantenere amicizie? quand'è che avrei avuto un'altra possibilità di essere felice quando ero sempre così solo e abbandonato dall'euforia? sicuramente mai dopo gli anni dell'università, in quanto non ci sarebbe più stata la costrizione di un qualcosa che tiene legati me e gli altri, e sarei buttato in pasto ad un branco di estroversi che non si sarebbero assolutamente negati la possibilità di ostracizzarmi dai loro circoli ed intorni di divertimento; la comparsa di Mirtillo era l'ultima possibilità di un'amicizia felice, e Liana era l'unica possibilità rimasta di qualcuno che mi avrebbe fatto conoscere l'amore, ed esprimere quello che non ho mai potuto esprimere]), e questo lo dicevo anche a Mirtillo (l'esperienza della relazione a distanza non mi ha portato risultati positivi; ad esempio, con Loto le possibilità non si erano semplicemente abbassate, ma proprio annullate, in quanto nel periodo in cui non ci siamo scritti pare abbia conosciuto un ragazzo [che le starebbe simpatico, ma tanto] che l'ha invitata ad una grigliata, e siccome due più due fa quattro, era evidente che si sarebbero innamorati di lì a poco [se già non lo erano]), esprimendole le mie perplessità sulle motivazioni stesse che l'avrebbe portata a presentarmi Liana (siccome era proprio con le stesse modalità di Loto, temevo quasi logicamente che ci sarebbe stata quella "grigliata" che mi avrebbe portato via Liana [come se fosse mia, eh? per chiarirci intendevo portarmi via la possibilità che lei potesse diventare realmente una parte significativa della mia esistenza]); lei cercava di rassicurarmi, proponendo modi per essere più sociale e di non temere mortalmente quella solitudine creata dalla sua assenza (anche se, al di fuori di Liana c'era solo una comitiva che si stava sgretolando come un castello di sabbia a causa di Nilo che aveva oltrepassato un limite che mai si dovrebbe sorpassare, e il fatto che tentasse di fare finta come se niente fosse stato, provando a reinserirsi nella compagnia ad ogni possibilità che gli si presentasse [ovvero quando c'era la sola presenza degli altri, quindi può essere anche questo un motivo per cui si stava attuando una silenziosa ostracizzazione di Nilo {almeno questo pensavo {e speravo} di percepire} dalla comitiva {anche perché anch'io cominciavo a percepire un certo disagio in sua presenza {ora potreste dire "hey, ma prima hai detto di non aver preso chiaramente parti perché volevi una comitiva unita, perché adesso sembra che stai prendendo la parte della compagnia "ristretta" {alla comitiva} di Mirtillo?" beh, era perché lei dava naturalmente un'aria di felicità e sapeva magistralmente mettere a loro agio chiunque incontrasse, unito all'inconscio disagio che provavo intorno a Nilo {forse causato dall'inconscia percezione dei suoi appiccicosi tentativi di reinserirsi nella comitiva, e il fatto che non poteva fare a meno di guardare cosa facevano gli altri ed invadere il loro spazio personale}, che mi hanno portato e pensare queste cose {e in fondo mi dispiace che sarà isolato per dei traumi che ha, ma se continua a fare come fa ora non c'è altra soluzione che l'abbandono, che per quanto riconosca sia brutale, pare l'unica via d'uscita per questa situazione soffocante ed insopportabile}}}], quindi era come se fosse rimasta la mia unica ed ultima possibilità di ordine ed armonia di fronte ad un immenso caos e sballottamento tra persone che ti rinfacciano costantemente che loro hanno una socialità ed una felicità che tu non avrai mai, che non ti sarà mai concessa la possibilità di avere amici, di essere felice, perché tutti quei traumi e persone che ti odiavano e respingevano in realtà te gli eri meritati, non sei mai stato abbastanza per nessuno [a cominciare dai tuoi, tanto che nonostante i tuoi desideri di felicità da bambino ti hanno regalato l'orrore dell'abbandono, il pensiero che qualsiasi cosa ti avrebbe portato felicità ti potrebbe essere sottratta all'improvviso, e tu non ci avresti potuto fare niente, saresti rimasto da solo con la tua disgustosa solitudine, che non puoi fare a meno di sopportare, anche perché tentare di combatterla in fondo avrebbe significato essere realmente da solo, non voluto nemmeno dai tuoi, con un conflitto interno lancinante che sarebbe cresciuto esponenzialmente al secondo, con l'unica terminazione possibile della soluzione estrema], e "manipolandomi" cercando di portarmi dalla sua parte per non essere effettivamente quello da solo della comitiva [anche in questo caso, cercando un'eccessiva compresenza]).
Forse è per il fatto che Mirtillo percepisce questo atteggiamento fondamentalmente pessimista e negativo (oppure anche per il fatto che mi avesse consigliato di fissarmi con una comitiva per fare una ginnastica con la mia "socialità" [nel senso di allenarla per ovviare alla preoccupazione di non essere un buon amico]) che ha cominciato a stare più tempo con altre comitive (penso anche come naturale conseguenza del fatto che si sedesse dall'altra parte dell'aula per evitare la presenza di Nilo). In particolare c'è una comitiva con cui si sta sedendo sempre più spesso (nonostante non ci sia Nilo), e ride sempre più spesso, e quando finiscono le lezioni (e di solito andiamo nella biblioteca del polo per studiare) lei ha cominciato ad andare con questa particolare comitiva (in cui c'è una persona che chiameremo Ema). Sembra che piano piano si stia allontanando lei dalla comitiva, e che si stia disgregando persino quella parte che sembrava opporsi alla presenza di Nilo, e sembra che veramente stia crollando la mia unica certezza (e che si sarebbe profeticamente avverata la situazione esposta verso la fine del paragrafo precedente), quindi ogni volta che vedevo Mirtillo insieme ad Ema, e che c'era quella confidenza che di solito c'è tra buoni amici (che prima c'era tra di noi, e adesso la mostra a qualcuno che ha conosciuto da così poco? così sembra che fino ad ora mi abbia mentito, come se l'affetto amichevole precedente fosse stato falso, e che in fondo non mi abbia mai voluto bene). Un giorno Mirtillo va insieme ad Ema in biblioteca, e mi capita di incrociarli e trovare un posto accanto a loro; qui si mettono a parlare con molta scioltezza, ridendo con naturalezza e chiacchierando volentieri. Ad un certo punto scorgo con la coda dell'occhio che si volevano fare un autoscatto, e a me viene l'istinto di girarmi con la testa di scatto per vedere effettivamente quello che stavano facendo; dopo qualche secondo scorgo (sempre con la coda dell'occhio) che erano intenti a fare un altro autoscatto, forse perché quel mio scatto con cui mi sono girato ha rovinato la loro foto, e dopo un po' sento una parola che forse non avrei dovuto sentire (perché, come sempre in biblioteca, era bisbigliata, ma forse Mirtillo ed Ema pensavano che non stessi prestando attenzione a quello che stavano dicendo): "stronzo". Con tutte le probabilità del mondo si stavano riferendo a me, per il fatto che avevo rovinato una loro foto (anche perché è stata detta poco prima che si facessero la seconda foto), ed hanno pensato che siccome molte volte non senta benissimo ciò che mi viene detto avrebbero potuto dirlo senza che io sapessi niente; in realtà l'ho sentito, e mi ha fatto stare anche un po' male (nel senso, all'inizio Mirtillo mi trattava affezionatamente come un amico, e ora oltre a non voler stare intorno a me come prima m'insulta pure? forse veramente si sta avverando la sentenza di prima, forse veramente non mi sono meritato e mai meriterò un po' d'affetto [e quei post motivazionali? se anche loro si sbagliano quale altra fonte di dopamina ed eccitazione avrò dalla vita? quando mai proverò ancora piacere?]; nonostante queste cose siano costantemente nei miei pensieri [e quindi dovrei sviluppare una certa consapevolezza cosciente al riguardo] mi continua a fare male, anche se ho le motivazioni di ciò che accade, non riesco a spiegarmi le motivazioni del perché ciò accada, qual è il senso di tutta questa sofferenza [nel senso, perché sto soffrendo dalla stessa fonte che prima mi dava così tanta gioia? perché questo piacere non può durare per più tempo?]). Ma arriviamo alla ragione originale per cui ho sentito il bisogno di scrivere il post: vi ricordate quando ho detto che alle superiori i miei compagni hanno organizzato un'uscita al sushi davanti a me e non mi hanno invitato? (avevo pure detto che quest'esperienza era traumaticamente risorta recentemente; ecco, adesso si vedrà perché) Bene, il pomeriggio che precedeva la sera in cui avrei cominciato a scrivere questo racconto mi ero seduto accanto a Fava e Mirtillo (accanto a me c'era Fava e accanto a lui Mirtillo) in biblioteca per studiare (beh, in realtà io stavo cominciando ad appuntarmi "L'interpretazione dei sogni", sempre nel tentativo di capirmi un po' di più e cercare di dare un senso a quel casino che avevo in testa e che mi stava rovinando l'esistenza), e ad un certo punto vedo con la coda dell'occhio (oh, ma sto occhio non sta mai al suo posto? per qualche ragione mi piace andare costantemente avanti e indietro nella stanza in cui mi trovo per scorgerne dettagli, e forse potrebbe essere anche una ragione per cui alle superiori mi trovavo bene solo con Rana [autodiagnosi goes brrr]) che Fava stava prenotando un biglietto per un evento ad un museo che si sarebbe svolto tre giorni dopo; il fatto è che dopo un po' Fava chiede a Mirtillo se eventualmente sarebbe voluta andare a quell'evento, mentre a me non è stato mai chiesto (notate similarità tra i due eventi? manco fossero gocce d'acqua). E lì ho sentito un'altra volta quel senso d'abbandono che prima avevo provato, ma adesso proveniva da persone che credevo mi volevano come amico, che mi stavano rendendo felice dopo tanto tempo, ed ha fatto ancora più male così; in tutto questo Liana non iniziava mai una conversazione, quindi lo sforzo di rompere il ghiaccio toccava sempre a me (facendomi di fatto pensare che in fondo non mi volesse, che si fosse in un certo senso stancata della mia noiosità e incapacità di intrattenere, anche in una conversazione [anche se Mirtillo mi aveva rassicurato che Liana non me l'avrebbe mai detto direttamente, che non era il tipo di persona da dire direttamente queste cose {anche se ero fermamente convinto che queste cose me le stia dicendo indirettamente}]), e quindi mi ritrovavo fuoco davanti, fuoco dietro e fuoco ai lati, fiamme che mi soffocavano e mi facevano sfiatare di caldo, e che mi avrebbero continuato a cucinare finché non avrei esalato l'ultimo respiro. Anche se ultimamente mi hanno invitato ad un'uscita la settimana dopo questa (lo so, anch'io pensavo sarebbe stata una terza replica dell'"esclusione del liceo" [nominata tre volte? perché non darle un nome?], anche perché eravamo in gruppo [un'altra comitiva], ma forse perché c'era anche un'altra persona, che chiamerò Giunco, che è sempre stata volenterosa nell'includere gli altri in eventi organizzati di gruppo [il fatto che questo mostri un senso di disprezzo per l'esclusione diretta fa di lei una gran persona, menomale che la conosco {ah, e anche lei è out of the Picture, è impegnata}]), nei giorni in mezzo è sempre la stessa storia: mi sento solo, e quando sono in compagnia della mia solita comitiva, sento come se in realtà non mi volessero (ma non mi volessero dire di allontanarmi).
Detto tutto questo, qual è il problema di fondo? perché sembra che abbia una dipendenza dalla confusione nonostante ho un ardente desiderio conscio di un'ordine di socialità? perché non riesco ad avere amici, e quando arrivano dopo un po' se ne vanno sempre? chi verrà al mio funerale dopo che ho finito l'università?
[P.S.: se per caso i soggetti di cui ho parlato qui dovessero trovare questo racconto, vi voglio dire che è stato bello conoscervi, e casomai doveste abbandonarmi definitivamente perché ora sapete cosa sento realmente, vi auguro il meglio]

“Meet the Grandparents,” Chapter 6
by c.w. cobblestone
My shoulder throbbed after twenty minutes of scrubbing the tile near the laundry sink, but the damned calcium stain wouldn’t budge. I set down the steel wool pad and tried to stretch my arm, but when I shifted position, a cold wave ran through me and I remembered how badly I had to piss.
I clenched my legs together and choked out a frustrated sob. I knew there was no way I could wait any longer; I simply had to ask for permission to use the bathroom, or I’d surely make a mess.
By the time I’d struggled to my feet, though, I was second-guessing myself, and wondering whether pissing in my panties might be preferable to whatever punishment awaited me if I dared to ask my master’s mother to rescind her order that I ‘hold it’ until one o’clock.
I would have squeezed my penis to try to stop the flood, but it was encased in my accursed chastity device. Instead, I danced in a little circle, debating whether to go upstairs and beg for relief, or just piss myself and accept the consequences.
The decision was made for me; as I did my little jig, my right heel slipped on the wet tile and I fell down hard, severely twisting my ankle. I couldn’t continue holding my bladder, and I rolled around on the basement floor moaning with the warm wetness soaking my panties and the front of my frock. For a nanosecond I felt relief, but that was quickly replaced by the throbbing in my ankle, and the ice that formed in my gut as I wondered what my punishment would be when my masters learned of my accident.
I lay there for maybe five minutes before I was able to rouse myself and wipe up my piss from the basement floor before hobbling toward the stairs. Walking was incredibly difficult with my ankle swelled up to twice its normal size, but I somehow mustered the willpower to make it up the steps.
With tears in my eyes, I stood before my masters, curtsied and started to explain what had happened — but my wife beat me to it.
“You have GOT to be kidding me, standing there with piss all over yourself,” she screamed. “I can’t believe you’d embarrass us like this, you little worm.”
Carla frowned. “Did you get pee everywhere in my basement, Jody?”
With a wobbly curtsy, I shook my head. “N-no, Ma’am, I cleaned it up.”
Demarcus chuckled. “Damn, sissy, this just isn’t your day, is it? That ankle looks pretty bad.”
I curtsied in response.
“What happened?” my master asked.
“Um … I slipped on the wet tile, sir. That’s how I ended up … my accident … I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me,” Demarcus said. “My mom’s the one who told you to wait until one.”
I turned to Carla and curtsied. “Ma’am, please … I didn’t mean to disobey you. I really tried.”
“You really tried.” The older woman’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to hear your excuses, Jody. You’re the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Now, you can march yourself back down to my basement and finish cleaning — and, no, you can’t change out of that wet uniform.”
“Y-yes, Ma’am.”
“Get your butt back to work.” Carla snapped her fingers.
Following my smart curtsy, I started to limp away, which caused Ron to chuckle.
“Poor sissy; you just can’t catch a break, can you?” he said. “It’s gonna be hard to clean with that ankle swelled up like that, huh?”
Pam waved her hand. “Oh, don’t worry about Jody. He’s happy to make himself useful; otherwise, we’d have no reason to keep him around. Right, Jody?”
“Y-yes, Ma’am, thank you, Ma’am.”
Pam nodded regally. “You can go now.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
I was halfway down the basement steps when I heard the baby cry, followed by my wife’s annoyed voice.
“Jody! Get back up here; you’ve got a diaper to change.”
With a sigh, I hurried back to the living room as fast as my injured ankle would allow. When Pam spotted my wet dress, she scowled and pointed toward the stairwell. “Go upstairs and put on a fresh apron before you touch my baby with piss all over you,” she said. “And wash your hands. Hurry up.”
I carried out my wife’s instructions quickly before spreading a blanket onto the living room floor and taking the baby from his mom’s arms.
Carla watched as I unfastened Little D’s wet diaper. “Are you sure you trust this pervert around my grandson? From what I can see, the degenerate little creep doesn’t have much in the way of character.”
Demarcus shrugged. “Nah, we’re not worried, Ma. Jody would never do anything to displease us. Ain’t that right, Jody?”
“Yes, sir, of course not, sir,” I said as I put a fresh diaper on his son.
Pam nodded. “Like I told you earlier, I trust Jody a lot more than I would some nanny, any day of the week. Believe it or not, Jody’s not really a pervert. He doesn’t like dressing up like this — not that anyone cares what he likes. But it was Demarcus’s idea. Jody hates it.”
Ron laughed. “Damn, Jody, that must really suck. It’s one thing if you’re into dressing like a girl. But to be made to do it? How do you live with yourself?”
My lip trembled as I struggled to hold back tears amid the onslaught of derision. “Um sir, I … I just love Miss Pam, sir, and I want to make her happy. She fell in love with your son, sir, and like I told you earlier, I begged them to let me stay in her life in some capacity. This is how they want me to be, so I’m just happy they’ve found a place for me, sir, and that’s why I try to be the best maid I can be.”
“Although sometimes you fall short, and disobey orders.” Pam arched her brow. “Like pissing in your panties when you’ve been told to wait.”
“I’m so sorry, Ma’am.”
“Whatever,” my wife said as I handed over her freshly-diapered son. “Now, limp your sissy ass downstairs and get back to cleaning.”
“And I’d hurry up if I was you,” Carla added. “You got a whole lot more stuff to do when you’re done down there. I don’t care how much your ankle hurts.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Normally, I’m not like this,” Carla said, flashing her teeth. “But something about you brings out the devil in me. I’m gonna work you until you drop, you hear? And if your ankle hurts, so much the better.”
“Y-yes, Ma’am.”
Ron smirked. “And we haven’t even talked about all the chores I have lined up for you. Like I said, you just can’t catch a break.”
As I hobbled down the basement stairs, I muttered to myself, “You don’t know the half of it, you hateful old bastard.”

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