Well, Hi all! again! 4Th Wall here, I figured since I just got power back, I might as well play some catch up on both series. Hope you enjoy this episode!!
Yup, I fucked that up. this is a repost with the correct Episode number, LOL! It's been a while since I've don that.
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Benjamin smiled, watching the girls skip ahead of him. Today was a testing day of sorts for him. Unwilling to release firearms into this world haphazardly, yet unwilling to go without them as a backup; he had pulled from one of his sister’s favorite video games. He had “melted down” his bowie knife, repurposing the metal to be used in his latest creation. The final product rode on his hip like a short sword, but Ben was satisfied in the design when the vast majority of the people he passed ignored it as just another adventurer’s blade. Benjamin hoped, that with the existence of Majik, that he would be able to pass off any… peculiarities... as the realm of the supernatural.

The three of them arrived at the tailor’s establishment, and the girls were met with a customary indifference that seemed to present itself when a slave’s “master” was present. The moment Benjamin entered, the seamstress ceased to pay attention to the girls, and instead addressed him directly, “Ah, The Forgemaster’s Protégé. What can I do for you this day.” She said cooly, bowing slightly in welcome. “I’m here commission some clothing for these two, a reward for good service.” Benjamin began. It was technically true; the success of the forge had afforded him much more coin than a mere apprentice could have made. Qort had taken him on as a true partner, and Benjamin earned enough to comfortably afford to cloth his “slaves” in whatever he chose.

Some stigma’s remained however, and the seamstress seemed to glare sideways at the girls as they perused the fabrics adorning the walls. “Is that wise? A slave could lose her place with such gifts.” she asked, her polite tone barely hiding her disapproval. Benjamin sighed internally, ‘oh for fucks sake’ he groaned in his own mind before putting on facad, “I find that proper reward, afforded on the right servant can result in” he paused, projecting a smug expression and blatantly looking the girls up and down. “a profound dedication to their duties” he finished with a satisfied smile as the seamstress covered her mouth with a hand to hide a smile of her own. The gambit worked, and the Seamstress was obviously satisfied that the “Aereesen slave whores” were being properly “used”. “Ah, I understand. What did you have in mind for them.” She practically moaned back at Benjamin. ‘This hag needs a good pounding….’ Benjamin’s inner monologue threatened to crack his facade, “That’s the fun part, my good lady. It’s their choice. The surprise is half the excitement.” He chuckled.

The seamstress openly smiled at him this time before nodding and stepping over to the two girls. Benjamin breathed a sigh of relief as she seemed to treat them at least marginally more warmly. The old racist bag didn’t need to know that Benjamin was secretly building a small nest egg for his girls, or that his sending them out to do errands for him was how he was teaching them about money, value, and the application of Mathematics. She also didn’t need to know that the full Cutlery set that she had purchased last week had been made by Vi’s own hand as her first full solo commission set. Benjamin had stamped his “mark” on them, because slaves were not allowed to own anything, including their own work; but Vi had begun with raw steel and finished with one of the finest cooking knife sets he had seen in this world or his.

Benjamin settled onto a bench outside, using the excuse of wanting to enjoy the morning air to afford his girls some privacy. Now that Viola and Valtrya were eating a healthy diet, and the right calorie amount; they had blossomed into absolute bombshells. Their hair had recovered, and both sported long flowing locks that boasted a silky satin black color and texture that betrayed hints of deep royal purple. The color reminded Benjamin of one of those expensive custom car paints that changed color depending on the lighting.

Their skin recovered almost as quickly as their hair. The sickly, scabbed look was quickly replaced with the same satin quality as their hair to the touch, but with a light grey coloring that almost seemed to tease the edge of hinting at a greyish purple. A dense pattern of Small freckles of the same dark, almost royal, purple as the highlights in their hair frolicked on both girl’s cheeks, and down the sides of their necks. Because of their early lack of understanding on modestly, Ben knew that those freckles traveled much further. The sad truth was that Benjamin understood fully why Aereesen’s were the prize of slavers and brothels, and he silently prayed that he could give them enough self-worth and skill to have a better life than that, once he got them out of the Principality.

A door’s soft creaking broke Benjamin from his thoughts as the two sisters stepped out smiling, “Get everything you need?” he asked standing as the three of them departed the establishment. Val nodded vigorously, and Vi smiled as she spoke, “I think so, but I had to practically beg the woman to stop showing us lingerie… what did you tell her?” Benjamin felt his cheeks heat as he responded, “What I had to. The old hag doesn’t get enough at home. It’s not my fault that your ‘enthusiasm’ is in the forge and your studies, not between the sheets. I didn’t lie to her, I just let her draw her own conclusions, sorry.”

Vi’s eyes twinkled for a second, “Oh,” She smirked, “Thaaat’s why she broke out the silk. Some of her options were..” She blatantly bit her lip at Benjamin. “You didn’t…” He asked in shock, and Vi lifted up on her tippy toes to brush her lips against his ear, “Not telling” she purred, setting Bens senses on fire. She backed up a step, openly smirking at his beet red face. “But your expression is adorable… My Lord” She stated the last two words with a deep sultry tone, knowing that Ben couldn’t scold her in public before taking his hand, “May we visit the bazar next? Val saw some jewelry she wanted to look at.” Benjamin gave her a pointed look, that turned into a smile as she beamed at him, “Ok, sounds good. I need to pick up some food for the week.”

It was later that afternoon when the three of them left the bazar. They found Jukha waiting on the bench in front of their home. “Jukha! How are you!” Benjamin called, clasping the Orc’s hand firmly as the girls rushed inside to put up their purchases. Jukha reciprocated, if somewhat stiffly, to the strange to him gesture. “Benjamin, it is good to see you well.” His tone stopped Ben in his tracks, “What is it. Is your wife, ok?”
Jukha shook his head, “Vilora is well, but I have been tasked with finding you.” He said carefully, “The slaver, the one you dueled for those two,” he nodded to Vi and Val as they stepped back out of the building, “The Heir of The Romoregin house is here. He has lodged an official demand for satisfaction, and he brought a champion.”

Benjamin stiffened, “Another duel? You said an ‘official demand’… what happens if I refuse.” Jukha winced at Ben’s tone, “It is an archaic practice of my people, rarely remembered, and even more rarely demanded. You cannot deny a satisfaction claim, but should you prevail, no further claims can be made upon your person. I am sorry Benjamin, but if you flee or refuse, your life is forfeit; and your property goes to the claimant.” Jukha looked pointedly at Viola and Valtrya. “The young puke has put me in danger as well, if I do not deliver you and them to the duel, I can be detained. If they torture me….” Benjamin’s eyes widened before hardening in understanding. “Jukha…” He turned to find Viola standing next to him, with his musket in one arm and his ammunition bag in the other, and sighed, “Fuck”. He loaded his musket with a single roundball cartridge this time, unwilling to fire buck and ball in the town streets. He pealed the ball out of the paper wading after pouring the poweder, reaching into his haversack to retrieve a small round patch made of pillow ticking. Jukha looked on in mild fascination as Benjamin spit on the cloth patch before wrapping the ball in it and ramming the whole thing down the barrel. It wasn’t much, but it reduce windage, ensuring at least reasonable enough accuracy from the smoothbore to keep from hitting innocent bystanders. It would also virtually eliminate blow-by, upping the chamber pressure and giving him a little more velocity. “I’m ready.”

The four of them entered the small city square to be met with Qort and three Org guards. These soldiers wore different insignia that Benjamin had been taught were the mark of the capital. “Beenjaymen Shayfe” one of them butchered his name, “I am.” Ben nodded firmly, the other guard nodded, “And your two slaves, good. Has Jukha informed you of the proceedings.” Benjamin scowled, “A legalized way to attempt a revenge killing? Yea, I’ve been told.” Ben didn’t bother to hide his vitriol, “So I have to kill a motherfucker for defending myself from his father?”

“Not quite. The Heir has brought a champion. The rules are simple, all forms of combat are allowed” The first guard began as the second one began chaining the wrists of Viola and Valtrya. Benjamin began to move before thinking, only to be held back by Jukha, “Peace albino. They must do this. Fighting them will cause a forfeit.” Benjamin looked at the terrified faces of the two girls. He forced himself to calm down outwardly, but Benjamin could feel the rage building. He had worked so hard to save those two, to get them out.. now some snot nosed brat was going to try to kill him because his father didn’t know when to fuck off. Benjamin stepped out from around the guards. The “heir” was a young Durr. Ben had no frame of reference for age, but the Heir was substantially shorter, and his facial tentacles were almost mere buds. Beside him stood a crimson colossus, the same species as the Hunter he had shot saving Jukha. He was taller than that female, and was wearing plate armor, gilded in silver. He hefted a great sword of some kind and smiled openly at Benjamin. It was not a pleasant expression. “Ah, so You’re the puke I’ll be cleaning from my blade. I am Krastorin. Come here, pale one, I’ll make it quick.”

Benjamin looked him over, subtly shifting into a shooting stance but keeping his musket looking like he was resting the butt of a spear on the ground. “You look accomplished, what makes you do the bidding of the boy.” He asked, blatant scorn on his tone. The Young Durr flinched, his small tentacle buds writhing violently. “H’Dare Yee!” he bellowed, voice cracking with the strain of fury, “Aye’ll ‘ave Yee Head on Me’Wall!!”
Benjamin ignored him, focusing on the Hellirine. The man looked back at the boy with a raised eyebrow, “The young puke promised me one of those.” He pointed at Vi and Val, who had reverted to their former trembling submissive postures that Ben had met them in. “It appears that they are as well kept as claimed. I look forward to sampling them.” He leered. Benjamin looked over at the Young Durr and found his face a mixture of relief and anger. ‘Ah, lied about daddy’s slaves.’ He turned to the soldier standing next to him, “Is the duel on?” he growled.

“Combatants! Begin!” was the Soldiers response, and the crimson mercenary lifted his sword from his shoulders advancing forward with a long confident stride, “at last, let’s get this over wi..” a clap of thunder echo’d through the Feral wood, and most of the crowd cried out in surprise as Benjamin disappeared, seemingly behind a bubble of fire, and brimstone. The single round ball ignored the mercenary’s plate armor. Punching straight through as the soft lead mushroomed out into a ragged disk that measured almost an inch and a half. The mangled projectile, still travelling at almost half the speed of sound, eviscerated the chest cavity of the Mercenary before blowing a one foot wide hole out of the crimson man’s back. The exit wound missed Krastorin’s spine by an inch, but it didn’t matter. The projectile embedded itself into a post, thankfully missing any bystanders by mere inches in some cases. The Young Durr, who was standing just behind and to the side of his champion, was screaming as he pawed at the bits of pale yellow blood, bones, and fragments of internal organs now covering him from head to toe.

Benjamin handed the smoking musket to Jukha, drawing his short sword and walking over to a sputtering, choking, and coughing Krastorin. The Hellirine lay face down on the ground, having fallen that way from the momentum of his initial advance. The back of Benjamins mind was sickly amused as he remembered the old Hollywood trope of bullets throwing people backward, and a pinch of regret sparked in his soul as his opponent death rattled. He stepped up to the Heir, resting the blade against his neck, “Are we done here. Be a better man than your father and learn when to save your own life.” The Young Durr froze, staring up at him in abject terror for several moments as a puddle formed at his feet. Benjamin opened his mouth to speak again when the boy simply passed out, falling into the puddle of his own mess as his mind refused to stay conscious.

Benjamin turned to walk back towards Jukha and the girls. “Unchain them.” Benjamin’s tone could have frozen a raging forge’s inferno. To his surprise, two of the soldiers drew their weapons on him, “You need to come with us. All Touched must be registered with...” Benjamin pointed his short sword at the one talking… and pulled the trigger. The percussion revolver built into the hilt of the short sword was zero’d using a notch Benjamin cut into the crossguard, and the tip of the curved blade as a crude set of open sights. The barrel of the revolver lay along one side of the blade, and was rifled. The speaking soldier orc’s took the smaller pistol round through the forehead, exploding the back of his skull in a cone of dark green and grey mist. The exit wound showered his companion in bits of bone and brains. Benjamin’s thumb found the hammer, and four satisfying clicks echo’d in the stunned silence, “HEAR ME!” He growled, “I, am touched by the Gods. I posses the power to end any life I choose using the power of Hell itself!” ‘if I have to show them a gun, might as well throw them off the trail’ “The violence of the raging volcano obeys my very fingertips.” His revolvesword bucked a second time as another soldier orc made a move to rush him. The smaller pistol round still punched through the orcs armor and out the back, but only left him screaming on the ground. Benjamin re-cocked, and leveled his weapon at the orc holding the chains to Val and Vi. “Now, release them.” This last remaining Orc did as asked, before gathering up his screaming companion as the girls rushed to Benjamin, he pulled them close, whispering, “I’m sorry we wont be able to pick up your dresses.”

The three of them packed up that night. Qort had understood, knowing all too well what the Principality would do to acquire a Touched of Benjamins ability. “Stay safe my friend. I pray our paths cross again.” Jukha snuck them out of the village that night, using his wagon to get them to his home. They stayed a week, laying low while they planned their next move. The girls spent their time learning recipes from Jukha’s wife, and ben took the time to unwind a bit. Jukha and He went on a hunt, and Benjamin was given a run down on the flora and fauna of the Feral wood. The two of them brought back a pair of Stags, and the three women cooked them a feast.

“Dinner’s ready!!” called Viola, setting the last of the sides on the table as the dutch oven roasted meat was brought off of the stove top. It was a simple yet elegant meal. Stag, potatoes, some kind of Kale style vegetable that Benjamin had never seen before. Soon enough, everyone at the table was leaning back, as full as they could make themselves. “So, pinkskin,” Jukha asked, “Where do you plan on going. I wouldn’t mind you staying with me. I could use another hunter, but I suspect that they would notice the extra product I brought to the village.”

Benjamin Hummed, “The Maridian Combine. Qort told me that they banned slavery over a century ago, the girls have learned so much already. It would be easy to find jobs for them.” Vi and Val drooped slightly but hid it well. Jukha noticed it but said nothing. “A good choice, their boarders are well guarded, you would need to free them before you cross, or end up in a dungeon yourself.”

“Good point, I can write up a simple writ of freedom. Something I can sign and give to them.” Benjamin nodded, “I can get started on that to…” he paused as a hand fell on his. He looked to see Viola staring at him, fighting back tears, “Hey, what’s wrong. You will be free…” Jukha nodded slowly and stood. “love,” he said to Vilora, “I need some help with the livestock” The Farie met his eyes in unspoken understanding, fluttering out the front door with Jukha.

“Vi, what’s wrong.” Benjamin asked gently.

“No… go… Val… stay…” Both of them turned to Valtrya in shock. She was trembling, “I wont..leave.”

“You speak?” Benjamin looked in shock, but Viola spoke next, “Benjamin, we don’t want to leave. We want to stay, with you. I…” She paused. Ben sighed, “I want you to stay too.” He said, finally admitting it to himself, “But I can’t own you. It’s killing me that you are my property.” He reached up and wiped a tear from Vi’s eyes, “You are so much more than property. I feel evil, every day that I wake up knowing that I could do anything I wanted to you, or worse, die and have someone else hurt you for the fun of it.” Benjamin bowed his head. Viola reached out, lifting his chin to look into his eyes, “Then come with us.” She whispered as Val stood up and stepped around the table, “yes.. You, come.” She wrapped herself around Ben from the side leaning in until she was resting her head against his shoulder, “I’m… staying.. with you.” she said softly. Viola nodded, “Benjamin, how old do you think we are.”

Ben looked at her in confusion, “I have no idea, I’ve always assumed you were teenagers. 13-14 years old for Val, maybe 16 for you, but that was when you were skin and bones.” He admitted.

Viola’s eyes widened in understanding. “You did not want to bed us because you thought us children.” Benjamin nodded slowly, answering. “And forcing sex on a child is the worst kind of crime on my world”. Viola and Valtrya looked at each other, before Vi spoke. “Ben, my sister will turn one hundred and three in a fortnight. I just had my one hundred and fifteenth birthday last week.” She leaned in, pressing her lips to Bens as she kissed him passionately for a moment. “We are no children,” Viola paused as Valtrya leaned in, kissing Ben lightly on the neck, “You are not forcing us to do anything, but leave.” Viola whispered as she began to close in to a surprised Benjamin for another kiss.

The door to the cabin flew open violently, and the girls pulled back to a more modest distance. Jukha walked in, carrying a panting Vilora. “What happened.” Ben asked hurriedly, hoping he wasn’t blushing as hard as the heat on his cheeks suggested. Vilora waved a hand as Jukha set her down in her chair, “The Vin… My sisters… they reached out… They wish to meet…” The Farie gathered herself, “They also sent a warning. We must leave, tonight… hunters.”
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If you made it this far, I very much appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed the episode! If you believe I have earned it, I have a Patreon that is two episodes ahead of the free releases for this series. I hope you feel taking a look is worth it. Either way, come hang out in the comments. Everyone's welcome! I've discovered Im a bit of a "warts and all" poster, so even critical comments are welcome. Hell, You might even teach me something (it happens more than I'd like to admit).
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“animal abuse” for dropping a dog at a shelter after it attacked me 5 times
Hello all,
I need some much needed opinions on this matter. Last thursday , i got a corgi from a craigslist type website from a family with children. They said they kept the dog outside for a year.. which should have been a red flag but i ignored it.
Everything was going well until sunday night when the dog unprovoked bit me in the left arm so badly, i had to call an ambulance. I went to the hospital and have all the documents. I received stitches and medical treatment.
The police informed animal control of this bite and animal control refused to take the animal because of some “10 day rabies quarantine” i had to do before i could hand over the dog even though the dog was a harm to me and my animals and my neighbors. I decided to just do it.
The following day the dog bit my hand and attacked me two more times, I called 911 three times and begged AC to come get this dog, once again they called and screamed at me and refused.
The following day, I went in person to the AC shelter and they once again refused to take the dog even though i had the shot papers and the first vet appt for “rabies” quarantine was done.
i then proceeded to call every shelter , rescue, and vet in the counnty( Thjs is Nashville,TN btw) and no one would take the dog due to severity of bite. My personal vet recommend me to just surrender the dog to them because it was an aggressive animal and AC is supposed to take these animals despite this stupid quarantine.
I went back to AC and they once again refused to help me in any way and I had no choice but to “abandon” the dog there as I also would be given an eviction notice from my apartment if the dog wasn’t removed as it was a liability to other residents.
Now they are trying to charge me with 1. Animal Abandonment 2. Animal Cruelty (i’ve had many dogs in my like never ONCE have they not been cared for with the most respect) 3. Interfering with “protocol”
and one other one i don’t know yet.
The officer on the phone today even told me they should have taken the animal.
Now the only option they are giving is to come back and claim the aggressive animal and bring it to my home for a week, but yet they are calling me an “animal abuser”. This dog even attacked me in the car on the way to the shelter. I can’t take this dog back out of fear for my safety, my community, and my dog i’ve had for 12 years.
I have hired representation, but anyone can give me some advice on what to do? Any sane judge would dismiss this case immediately. They have no grounds for this.
This bite i have was almost down to the bone.
This happened in Nashville, Tennessee. It is Davidson County Animal Control on harding st in nashville.

So I’ve been running a campaign now for around 4ish months. The party is composed of two veteran players of around 5 years each, and 3 brand new players. As such, there are a lot of debates and moments where we have to slow the game down to explain what each player can do, which I’m all for. I’ve been itching to play DnD for a while, and I love helping people get into fantasy in general.
One of my players in particular, though, has been making a ruckus, for lack of a better term. He’s one of the newer players, so there’s been plenty of moments he wants to do something and I have to explain situations in which he can or can’t do something. Again, that’s no problem. The problem stems more from his innate chaotic nature, especially as it relates to other characters. I’m going to give a few situations that I found weird, and I want to know if I’m being an AH in this situation or if this really does sound crazy. I’ll refer to problem player as J for now.
The players are playing in a world in which humans are a primarily dominant race, and not many other races other than elves or dwarves have even been heard of. He’s playing a gnome, and so there’s been multiple NPCs who have talked to his character like he’s a child, or referred to him as such. Another party member (also a gnome) finds this funny, and has played into it a few times to get more info on things the party has done, such as acting like a child to get info from strangers or discounts for things in shops. All fine and dandy, the party plays into it. J, however, finds this incredibly irritating, and oftentimes starts arguments or physical altercations with NPCs who do this. One time, he started a fight to the death with a group of NPCs, and found that to be okay. Since the rest of the party barring one other person didn’t find it frustrating, I let it slide.
Another situation, one of the other party members finds a secret room in which he finds a pretty valuable gem (around 100gp in value). J hears this out of character, and when the party member finds his way back to the group, he starts interrogating him, and asks to make an insight check. I ask why J wants to do this, and he says “I don’t trust him”. I ask him what he’s done to betray his trust, and he says nothing, so I bring up the concept of metagaming. J’s primary out of character reason for interrogating the guy was because he knew about the gem, and he couldn’t separate that from his character. I say, no harm no foul, I’ll just tell people individually if they find things of value from here on, but he should be mindful of what his character knows. In character, J uses the spell “Locate Object” to find objects near him worth more than 50gp. I tell him that the character who reunited with the party has an item worth more than 50gp, and now he begins to interrogate him. This frustrates me, because there’s no reason that I could think of that doesn’t involve his out of game knowledge of the gem, and I’m still a bit frustrated about it because J holds this grudge over the other character 5 sessions later.
Another situation, J and the party are nearing the end of their first dungeon. As magic isn’t common in the world I’ve made, I wanted to include a decent amount of magical items for them to find near the end. The party works together and finds these magic items, which include 1 magical ring, 2 magical amulets, 2 magical cloaks, and 3 +1 magical weapons (I know it’s a lot, but this dungeon also took 3 sessions to complete). Upon my announcing of these items, J’s character grabs every single item, stuffs them into his Sack of Holding, and says “We’ll talk about trading later.” I ask him why he doesn’t want to give anything to any of the other players, and he just says that he got to them first. Keep in mind, his character is a bard, so while he could use them, I find that some of the items were tailored more towards the barbarian, rogue, and warlock of the party. He has yet to give any of these items up, and has “Raised the price” of the items due to some statements other characters have made about the incident.
This is all in game, of course, but there have been multiple statements and attempted actions that he wants to take where he has, and I quote, “Tried to make you miserable as a DM”. These includes but are not limited to:

• Stating that attempting to SA’ing a guy who wanted to arm wrestle a party member in a tavern was “totally okay”
• Trying to combo spells in such as way that he could drop a big enemy from 270-ish feet in the air so they take 270d6 falling damage (he found some method online)
• Multiclassing into Artificer (which I’m more than okay with!) for the sake of making a magical, repeating Aquaribus loaded with life-steal dragon shot (calculated to deal 1d8+3d6+1d4 damage by his own account, and he stated should only cost around 1000gp to make)
• A direct quote, “i want to go on a casual genocide run through a small town”
• Keeping half a zombie head around for his “long rests”
• Training a familiar to steal gold and other small valuable items from other party members
• Purposefully fighting and killing multiple NPCs because “that’s what my character would do”
• For lack of a better term, metagaming (he spent a few hours doing everything he could on his character sheet to milk every point of damage he could from every action)
• Has used damaging spells on other player characters when they disagree with him (particularly vicious mockery). He got a party member within 3 hp of going down, and laughed when told this)

I’ve chalked a lot of this up to him being a new player, and have had conversations with him about keeping the game entertaining for all of the party members, which is where I became super conflicted. Most of the party seems to find it fine, which is why I’m conflicted on if I’m right to feel frustrated. On one hand, if the party is okay with this course of action, I’m cool with it. On the other, this seems like it’s quickly becoming a murder- hobo party, which I’m not sure that I want to DM for. I’ve spent 2 years writing and creating this world, its inhabitants, its NPCs, and to see it approached in this way frustrates me. Which is another reason why I think I may just be overreacting, as I’m very attached to what I’ve created.
Is this something I’m overreacting to? Or is this a genuine problem, and what can I do to fix it? I’ve spoken to them a few times, but it only seems to work for a session. If I was to ask him to leave, then every other player would probably also leave, which makes me even more hesitant to do anything.

(Even though i didnt explicitly say it, it could be pieced together through context clues so; content warning: implied sa. Ive gone through a lot more than that, but thats a main one that im worried might trigger people. Again, I didnt talk about it this is a just incase.)
I'm so god damn paranoid. I thought someone broke into my house because the door was LOCKED. I don't remember locking it this morning(the key lock, I remember locking the fingerprint lock), so when the door didn't open after unlocking the fingerprint lock? Someone broke in. Never mind my dog, who happily welcomed me home, I went straight to the kitchen that's right next to the front door and grabbed a knife. Then, I searched all the rooms. There aren't a lot of places to hide, but there are hidden knives anywhere. For protection, obviously. I didn't stop until I checked all the rooms, closets and beds.
You have to understand how crazy this is. In my head, someone got past the fingerprint lock, went inside, locked two out of three locks on my door, got past my dog(protective pitbull) then hid.
Usually people think someone broke in because the door was UNLOCKED or the door was OPEN.
Nope, not this special coat wearer.
I'm absolutely sure that if I don't have cptsd, I definitely have ptsd. Only took 2 weeks with my therapist (that is now going on for 3 years) for her to point out that I'm heavily paranoid and hypervigilant, let alone pessimistic.
Look at my clothing for example.
Black drawstring parachute pants, double knotted at the waist so it's impossible to move past the top of hip. Combat boots. Long sleeve shirt with a cuff and scrunchie on either wrist to prevent it from moving to my elbow. A thigh long winter red coat with both buttons and zipper so it's not only hard to remove, it's also easy to be seen, and hides everything. It also has four pockets which I can hold an ID and phone for if I die in public(I don't want to be a Jane doe). A beanie so if someone tries to grab my hair, it'll come off first and give me time to escape. Same goes for my back pack. Always one arm in so if someone yanks it, it goes down without you. When going out in public with friends, I wear black lipstick so it can be hard to wipe off and leave evidence. Let nails grow out a bit so it's easier to scratch.
Every single choice has a reason to it. It's almost June and I'm wearing a winter coat because I feel safe in it. I have 12 pairs of the same pants because it not only makes it hard for a stranger to remove, but lessens anxiety in the mornings if I already know what I'm going to wear. It's easier to kick people while in combat boots. I keep my back against walls or away from people so I can keep everyone in my line of sight. There is a hiking whistle attaches to my backpack disguised as a bag buckl, it can be extremely loud for emergencies.
I have three locks on my door. Deadbolt, key and finger print. There is also a camera at the door as well. Apparently my muscle memory is better than my actual memory since I locked two this morning without realizing it.
I'm paranoid and scared all the time.
Atleast today I made myself laugh.

Hi all! I'm back finally after a year!
I have a good lot for sale and/or trade today.
I'm primarily looking to sell but I'm also open for trades. I'm very interested in Horus Heresy (especially the starter, I want to get started in it). l also want skirmish games rulebooks/minis, play mats or boards, historical minis, and board games(solo playable and dark fantasy themed ones especially). I'm open minded though so feel free to shoot any other ideas you may have for trades and/or buys. I give a discount if you buy an entire army.
I will update the list as to what is sold as sales/trades are made.
Here are pictures of what's available:
https://imgur.com/a/gmhpH2U
Here is my karma thread:
https://www.reddit.com/MiniSwapKarma/comments/odfsdcitadel223_miniswap_karma_thread/
Here's what I have:
40k:
WORLD EATERS army and CHAOS UNDIVIDED. These are all official models but the Terminators are odd and cool conversions. Some of the models are painted, others aren't. See pictures for reference(same goes for everything else on the list). Most are spray painted red

• Kharn the Betrayer. Missing backpack but good condition otherwise. $25
  
• Cypher. Old version. $25
  
• Blackstone Fortress psyker $15
  
• Exalted champion $20
  
• 10x Khorne Berserkers squad. Mix of chainswords, axes, bolt pistols. $34
  
• 12x Khorne Berserkers . 1 banner in there , text are equipped as other squad $37
  
• 9x Terminators curious and cool conversions in it. Mostly combiweapons but one reaper autocannon is in there. The red painted model has a nicely painted lighting claw actually. $45
  

SALAMANDERS army. These were mostly made from pushfit models and custom made with Salamanders bits. Two of the characters are recast, and 3 of the aggressors are, the rest are official models. I would prefer to sell these as one lot instead of splitting

• Adrax Agatone: $20
  
• Vulkan He'Stan $20
  
• Captain on bike , custom made with Salamanders bits for the shoulders and they weild a mace. $15
  
• 5x Intercessors 2 of which are painted and have nice bases. $25
  
• 10x Assault Imterccesors Sergeant has hand flamer, thunder hammer and Salamanders bits $40
  
• 5x Assault Imterccesors same as above $20
  
• 6x Aggressors 3 official 3 recast , the 3 official ones and 1 recast one have Salamanders specific bits $65
  

LAST WAR:

• Haunted Tank custom model made from bolt action tank and Warcry spikes $60

SKIRMISH / MISCELLANEOUS MINIS:

• Spider Queen $25
  
• Tall Demoness. Works great as a Keeper of Secrets. Missing an arm. Base has barb wire and a tree $40
  
• Grim Reaper this a model from the board game Destinies $15
  

TERRAIN:

• Ice bridges x2 $5 each
  
• Green and Black sci Fi piece , would work great as an objective $12
  
• Daemon Gate $25
  

I'm so god damn paranoid. I thought someone broke into my house because the door was LOCKED. I don't remember locking it this morning(the key lock, I remember locking the fingerprint lock), so when the door didn't open after unlocking the fingerprint lock? Someone broke in. Never mind my dog, who happily welcomed me home, I went straight to the kitchen that's right next to the front door and grabbed a knife. Then, I searched all the rooms. There aren't a lot of places to hide, but there are hidden knives anywhere. For protection, obviously. I didn't stop until I checked all the rooms, closets and beds.
You have to understand how crazy this is. In my head, someone got past the fingerprint lock, went inside, locked two out of three locks on my door, got past my dog(protective pitbull) then hid.
Usually people think someone broke in because the door was UNLOCKED or the door was OPEN.
Nope, not this special coat wearer.
I'm absolutely sure that if I don't have cptsd, I definitely have ptsd. Only took 2 weeks with my therapist (that is now going on for 3 years) for her to point out that I'm heavily paranoid and hypervigilant, let alone pessimistic.
Look at my clothing for example.
Black drawstring parachute pants, double knotted at the waist so it's impossible to move past the top of hip. Combat boots. Long sleeve shirt with a cuff and scrunchie on either wrist to prevent it from moving to my elbow. A thigh long winter red coat with both buttons and zipper so it's not only hard to remove, it's also easy to be seen, and hides everything. It also has four pockets which I can hold an ID and phone for if I die in public(I don't want to be a Jane doe). A beanie so if someone tries to grab my hair, it'll come off first and give me time to escape. Same goes for my back pack. Always one arm it so of someone yanks it, it goes down without you. When going out in public with friends, I wear black lipstick so it can be hard to wipe off and leave evidence. Let nails grow out a bit so it's easier to scratch.
Every single choice has a reason to it. It's almost June and I'm wearing a winter coat because I feel safe in it. I have 12 pairs of the same pants because it not only makes it hard for stranger to remove, but lessens anxiety in the mornings if I already know what I'm going to wear. It's easier to kick people while in combat boots. I keep my back against walls or away from people so I can keep everyone in my line of sight. There is a hiking whistle attaches to my backpack disguised as a bag buckl, it can be extremely loud for emergencies.
I have three locks on my door. Deadbolt, key and finger print. There is also a camera at the door as well. Apparently my muscle memory is better than my actual memory since I locked two this morning without realizing it.
I'm paranoid and scared all the time.
Atleast today I made myself laugh.

Dear Reddit, So, I (27M) met this beautiful Chinese lady (36F) who has a four year old daughter. It was just mere coincidence that she lives 300 meters from my home (literally) throughout all of Tokyo. On our first date she decided to bring her daughter over and I just fell in love at the first sight of them both. We walked around the park together after coffee and the daughter and I bonded so well! The chemistry I felt with the mother was honestly nothing I've ever felt before with any girl I've dated. It was truly phenomenal! We just clicked and got along so well! Now, I'd say I wouldn't date a single mother as my reasons stem from what I've read and seen on the internet (never first priority, baby daddy issues, etc.) But, we've made some important discussions already that put me at ease a little, but I'm still skeptical and concerned about the whole situation. - She's looking to get married within a year if our relationship flows smoothly. - She agreed to have another kid if I decided to want kids of my own. - Her ex does have some contact with her but it seems like he's living in China and is not truly involved with the child's life, but the details of this are not fully known yet. - She agreed that I would not have to pay expenses for heher child at this time (but I understand that the circumstances will change if we do get married, which is not an issue) - I will mention about budgeting together if we do start to get that serious. - She has told me about family drama after a small trip home, but she hasn't asked me to be involved with any of it (would this be a red flag?) - I understand that spontaneity is non-existent, but from my experience with dating Japanese girls, I'm used to waiting a month for dates anyway. So this doesn't bother me. - But, she has been more available as wants to be with me while I'm working (I work remote; she also works in IT)
We've only dated for two weeks and I really like her, but I want to go into this carefully as this is my first time going into a situation like this. Should I continue taking things slowly, or just break things off now before we go any further? I know there are men out there that will say it's better to find a girl without kids/baggage and that there's some unknown variables now, but I feel that I might miss out on what could potentially be a beautiful, loving relationship if I step out now. What are your suggestions?

This one is actually fairly simple, I promise. In fact, this killer was born because I saw a comment in the main DBD sub that said only three of the 36 available killers were listed as "easy," so I decided to challenge myself to make one that could also be rated as "easy," with a simple power.
I've been struggling with figuring out how to do an idea I've wanted to make for a while, a killer whose touch was the most dangerous thing about them; I have in my mind the image of a killer who only has to put a single finger against a prop to break it, owing to some cursed touch they have. I went the route of decay and rot for a while, thinking up stuff a la Phage the Untouchable from MtG, then I pondered tapping into a really niche hit with Quachil Uttaus, the Treader in the Dust, a minor eldritch entity from the Cthulhu Mythos, but that one will likely be saved for a more complex take on the same idea. Don't yell at me when I basically post the same killer twice, but one with more bells and whistles.
I eventually settled on a gender-reversed take on King Midas, as I also have a sore lack of female killers in my fanmade roster (I have more genderless nightmare monsters than women). I believe in unhinged lady's rights, and so from that comes the Avarice. I only have a rough grasp on her overall appearance, but I know her left arm has been dramatically altered; her skin is solid gold, but not in a beautiful, elegant way; it's more like she dipped her arm in a molten vat and pulled it back out before it could fully incinerate her. Body horror as Entity thorns and spines jut from below the flesh, the thorns also transmuted into gold. Her body is run through by veins that pulse precious metal throughout her form. Gemstones grow like tumors and warts on her corrupt arm and rarely across her body, including one on the back of her left hand which looks more like an eye than anything else. Her left eye has been completely replaced by a bloody gemstone.
Despite what appears to be a grievous and horrid transformation, she has an air of playfulness in what she does. Her wall-breaking animation is her spinning her hand around before giving the wall a single, gentle poke with a single finger. She gently flicks generators to damage them. Her pallet break animation is grabbing the thing and sinking her fingers into it, letting her power shatter it. About the only thing that isn't playful is her stun animation, in which she's absolutely furious, where she growls and hisses, the sound joined by a chorus from the living jewelry she wears. Whenever she interacts destructively with a prop, veins of corrupt gold and silver boil across the surface she's touching until it breaks.
110% speed. 32 meter terror radius. Medium height (Pig height)
--Power: Gilded Transmutation. Pressing the ability button causes the Avarice to hold her cursed hand forward and begin to laugh. She laughs continuously for the 8 seconds she remains in her 'transmutation stance,' signaling all nearby survivors that the power is in play. While Transmutation is active, the Avarice moves 5% faster, and she can end the ability early to perform a special lunging attack which follows the logic of a normal M1 lunge. If she strikes a dropped pallet or breakable wall with the lunge, the impediment is destroyed after 0.80 seconds by her curse.
Upon striking a survivor, that survivor gains their sprint burst as if they had been damaged, and is afflicted with Golden Death. After 60 seconds pass, if the survivor is reduced to the dying state through any means, or if the survivor is struck with Gilded Transmutation a second time, the survivor is wracked with pain and screams as golden tendrils slither across their bodies and engulf them until they're a Gilt Statue. 7 seconds after becoming a statue, sacrifice progress begins as if the survivor had been hooked. If the survivor was on top of a prop, inside a locker, mid-vault, in midair, or otherwise not in contact with the ground when their timer ran out, the survivor staggers towards the nearest empty patch of ground that is at least 2 meters from any interactible props before transforming.
Anti-camp measures affect survivors transmuted gilt statues; they can break free of the transmutation at any stage if the Avarice spends too long within 16 meters of them. A survivor that dies from the transmutation is claimed by the Entity and pulled into the ground. Another survivor can free a transmuted survivor by taking 3 seconds to pull at the gruesome metal enough to free the trapped victim's limbs, after which they free themselves.
After hitting a survivor with Gilded Transmutation, the Avarice is slowed by 30% and cannot attack for 2.5 seconds as she giggles to herself. If she hits a pallet or wall, she is slowed by 15% and cannot attack for 1.5 seconds as she brushes wood scraps off her hand. If she impacts terrain or obstacles with her lunge, or misses completely, she is slowed by 20% and cannot attack for 2 seconds as she rages impotently. Gilded Transmutation has a cooldown of 35 seconds.
--Passive: Golden Rings. Four special rings mold themselves from the Fog at the beginning of the trial. Survivors can see the auras of these rings if they're within 24 meters of one, or from any distance if they're affected with Golden Death.
A survivor can stand over a ring and pick it up as if it were an item, wearing it on their right hand. A special icon pops up on their portrait (visible to other survivors, but not the killer) to show they have a ring. A survivor with a ring on has a band on their right hand which visibly glimmers every now and again when the survivor is in chase.
A survivor wearing a ring that is struck by Gilded Transmutation loses a health state, and their ring is destroyed, but they are not affected by Golden Death. A survivor affected by Golden Death who picks up a ring is locked in place for 2.5 seconds as the ring counteracts and ends the curse, then crumbles away. A survivor who is wearing a ring can slip it onto the finger of a transmuted survivor, which frees them in 0.75 seconds and destroys the ring. A ring on a survivor's finger is destroyed if they're reduced to the dying state or otherwise grabbed.
Rings take 45 seconds to respawn, and will attempt to respawn at least 32 meters from any survivor.
See? Simple! Sort of. ... Okay, this is logically probably a medium-difficulty killer, but in my head it's no more hard to grasp than Legion; you do a special lunge attack that either damages survivors (if they have a ring) or curses them (if they don't) and clears obstacles super quickly. The auto-hook mechanic returns again, as well, but this time it requires a special prop to end it early!
The primary tactics here are to either hit someone with the curse and then force them to scamper off and find a ring, which means they aren't doing gens; hit someone with the curse and then chase them for 30 seconds until the cooldown is done, then hit them again to instantly transmute them; OR hit them with the curse, then down them with two basic attacks to transmute them, using the transmutation to swiftly break obstacles in your path.
ADD-ONS
COMMON

1. Tarnished Silver: Golden rings respawn 5 seconds faster, and Golden Death takes 5 seconds longer to trigger. Double the bloodpoint reward for score events with Gilded Transmutation.
2. Golden File: The Avarice remains in her transmutation stance for 1 additional second.
3. Shattered Earrings: The Avarice moves 2% faster while in her transmutation stance.
4. Cracked Sapphire: The cooldown for hitting terrain or missing Gilded Transmutation is reduced by 0.5 seconds.

UNCOMMON

1. Gilt Hooks: The lunge distance of Gilded Transmutation is increased by 40%.
2. Polishing Rag: Gilded Transmutation's cooldown is reduced by 4 seconds.
3. Transmuted Lead: Golden Death triggers 5 seconds sooner, and the grace period is 1 second shorter.
4. Twisted Necklace: The Avarice moves 4% faster while in her transmutation stance.
5. Slag Pile: Golden rings take 5 more seconds to respawn and will attempt to spawn 4 meters further from survivors.

RARE

1. Greed's Toll: A survivor that performs a conspicuous action within 10 seconds of being unhooked becomes affected by Golden Death.
2. Gilt Scraps: The Avarice remains in her transmutation stance for 3 additional seconds.
3. Gnarled Rings: The Avarice moves 6% faster while in her transmutation stance.
4. Old Jewelry Box: Damaging a healthy survivor with a basic attack while they're wearing a golden ring destroys the ring.
5. Perfectly-Cut Ruby: Gilded Transmutation's cooldown is reduced by 8 seconds.

VERY RARE

1. Twisted Jewelry Box: The cooldown animations for Gilded Transmutation are all 0.5 seconds shorter. Reduces the speed penalty the Avarice suffers while in her cooldown animation by 5%.
2. Thorn Ring: The Avarice moves 5% faster while in her transmutation stance, and her transmutation stance lasts 3 additional seconds.
3. Weight of Gilt: Whenever a survivor becomes affected by Golden Death or is fully transmuted, all other survivors within 32 meters of that survivor become incapacitated for 5 seconds.
4. Appraisal Lens: Survivors outside the Avarice's terror radius cannot move their cameras completely off the aura of the nearest transmuted survivor.

IRIDESCENT

1. Iridescent Diamond: Breaking a pallet or wall does not end Gilded Transmutation, though it still forces the Avarice into her cooldown animation.
2. Malignant Gem Tumor: If you are further than 32 meters from a transmuted survivor, other survivors which free that transmuted survivor without using a ring are affected by Golden Death.

PERKS
Ravenous Want: It doesn't matter what it is or what it does; if someone wants it, you want it more. This perk activates while you're within 8 meters of an item on the ground or a chest and remains active for 4 seconds after leaving this radius. While this perk is active, the cooldown for your successful basic attacks is reduced by 24%.
Terrifying Rage: The sound you unleash when you're pained is so shockingly inhuman that anyone nearby is filled with supernatural fear. Whenever you are stunned through any means, all survivors within 18 meters of you become incapacitated for 5 seconds. Then, Terrifying Rage goes on cooldown for 20 seconds.
ALTERNATE: Affects all survivors in your terror radius, but the cooldown is 45 seconds.
Hex: Webs of Gold: An insidious sloth twines itself over those who find themselves seduced by greed, making it hard to concentrate on what truly matters. Whenever a survivor opens a chest, sabotages a gook, picks up a non-killer item, or cleanses any totem while this Hex stands, they become cursed for 20 seconds. While cursed by this Hex, they suffer a 14% penalty to repair and healing speeds. When this Hex totem is cleansed, the survivor who cleansed it is cursed for 35 seconds.

As there’s a lot of new users, here’s some info on how the ring / app works - hope it’s of some help
Remember your email and password keep it safe.
The ring holds up to 6-7 days data, all readings that go into app, are held in rings memory until it syncs with the ring and phone app.
No need to have phone with you all the times, but always sync between 6-7 days
Syncing means :- the stored data on ring is sent from the ring via Bluetooth to the app - the app then sends the data to algorithms on the main servers via WiFi from phone - this is decoded then returned within short time from servers via WiFi and loaded into the app so you can read it.
Each time you sync ring this happens as above.
Battery charging :- charging case holds around 18 full charges or more smaller charges - charging case takes 120 mins to fully charge (solid white light ) no indication of charge in case only lights
Over 40% white - orange light under 40% - flashing orange = fault on ring/ chargepower lead poss.
Ring takes 90 mins to charge up ring, charge is indication in the app. ( notification sent to phone when100%)
You can charge ring anytime between 20% and 80% for best efficiency for lithium batteries, - do not let ring go below 20%.
Ring should last between 5-7 days depending on how much you sync ring with app or use exercise mode- sleep apnea etc - these all use extra power
Charger can be charged anytime to top up but do not let go flat, best say every couple months to top it up, just put on charge for a hour if topping up battery.
You can take your vitals measurements live at anytime, ( in heart rate and spo2 vitals area ) using app and ring together by pressing measure in app screen
Heart-rate is recorded every 2.5 mins and spo2 every 5 mins and stored on ring.
Firmware :- firmware is part of the rings brain - if ever you see firmware update available - just accept and install it, do not touch anything until completed - you see dial showing progress.
If firmware does not install it’s possibly ring battery below 30% just charge ring then reinstall firmware - this can be done manually in app.
App update :- the app gets regular updates it will be shown either on phone or may have to go to app/ playstore to update app - usually it’s shown as available in group as well.
If you want exercise mode, in app press the orange running man bottom of screen in summary page. Remember if using outside running you need phone with you to track your gps map and mileage - won’t record without it
On summary page are notes icon - this is really handy for recording daily anything you want - you can go back and look at notes - daily- weekly- yearly anytime in app
Very handy play around with it you can take photo then add it from your saved photos, medication , anything in app of concern - literally anything you want.
Graphs/ bar charts can be changed view in the top right icon in screen, and in vitals can be put to larger screen by pressing icon top right of vital screen and screen goes sidewards / larger zoom.
Slide fingers along any graph it shows times and readings
Aeroplane mode - if using this it stops Bluetooth connection with ring- ring still records all data- when you take aeroplane off you need the charger to reconnect Bluetooth with the app - otherwise will not connect to app
Ring lights - ensure the ring has both small bumps / lights in underside of finger on fleshy part as this area is where measurements are taken.
Solid green: When measuring the heart rate with the ring, both green lights will light up simultaneously for 30~60 seconds.
Solid red and green: When measuring SpO2 with the ring, one red light and one green light will light up simultaneously for 30~60 seconds.
Press your profile in app here you can put in a picture - also fill in user name- birthday- gender - height- weight- you can adjust weight anytime here
Any issues or questions use feedback in app - me- FAQ/ feedback - use this first so engineers app development teams can read and act on your info - do not just send email
Feedback is your main route of reporting anything or asking questions, you will get email back with reply.
Play with the app you can’t break it, don’t be scared of pressing anything lots of other screens in main summary pages - if not sure ask questions in the group lots people knowledgeable in app workings.
Hope that’s of some help don’t be afraid to ask any questions.

Hello,
I am feeling a little lost and distrusting. I don't know if my therapist is stable and ibe just spent a year opening up to the wrong person. I am someone that heavily relies on logic and science, and it's very important to me that I see my therapist as a reliable, centred human being that I can trusts counsel and process.
I have had 2 therapists: 1. my first: was via a specific charity for survivors of male sexual abuse (one of my experiences as a hetro sexual male). She went AWOL on me from nowhere after I opened up a lot about my life. She was cheap as it was via a charity. I will elaborate on my personal situation below, but as I learn more about myself, I understand how horrendous this is to do to a patient. I have a very small circle and almost no family. Luckily, I'm pretty resilient.

1. My second (current): because of above experience and inability to find therapists prepared to do 'in person' at the time; I picked the most expensive therapist I could find, hoping it meant they were the most credible and qualified (I also live in Central London).

My experience with my 2nd therapist is what I really want to explore.
Firstly, I should acknowledge and state I am a judgemental person - though I've got better through therapy. She has tattoos over her arms and hands and I immediately judged this. Is this person a 'stable person'; is she someone reliable, well balanced etc.
Over time, I have built a very strong relationship with her. She 100% cares about me. I trust her. She is strong and pushes back, makes me question things, holds me to account. But most of all - she cares about me. She will occasionally cry during sessions when I bring up memories and it feels like I have someone who cares about me.
I have had some concerns. For example, I have (very embarrassing) addiction to porn and I explain I think this is very bad for you and the mind, and she does not think porn is an issue - it's a great experimental tool, at least if I've understood her correctly.
Major concern: - she is occasionally flaky with appointments. She will cancel (with very short notice) and apologise - normally 'I've woken up sick'. Last week, I turned up for an appointment and she said 'I'm away - I did tell you last week'. (I don't remember this but it COULD have happened). She then rescheduled this weeks session. Just before today's session, at 5am (I wake at 3am most days!) she messaged me the following incomprehensible text. It's like she's on drugs or drunk?!
Her - 5am: (link requesting my live location). Text reading: flights destined
Me - 5:03am: sorry, flight is delayed?
Her - 5:07: due to you x red family death
Me - 5:09: sorry, I'm not following.
Me - 5:38: I'm assuming I'm not to come to therapy today?
I am now hugely concerned I am in the counsel and advice of the wrong person, I have invested 100 hours of time, work and trust, thousands of £.
I would really appreciate peoples thoughts.
Some context about me: I am a 30yr old male. I have a myriad of 'trauma' but am mentally okay, more so challenged in life through the effects of my trauma and the behaviours.

• grow up in an abusive home with mum and dad (separated). Mum not available much (but very loving), worked all hours. Dad was chronic alcoholic, typical abusive parent.
• both parents died in traumatic circumstances.
• was a victim of sexual abuse (rape) by a male in my early 20s. Was drugged in South America.

I am successful (societal belief): run a multi million £, highly profitable co that I founded, with 30 employees. I am rich and financially fortunate. My upbringing built me for resilience. I left school at 16, was a degenerate gambler.
I have been explored for CPTSD, but I almost certainly don't have it. I have learned through therapy my primary issues are: - extremely damaged and detached inner child. - low self esteem. - complete numbness of my emotions from very early - loneliness - comfort and seeking of toxic relationships - never feeling like I am enough. I'm perceived to be the most giving, kind person but the reality is I'm seeking affirmation from others to feel better about myself - I just survive everyday fine, but I am worried I will die having not lived.

Timestamp
Vortex Diamondback 2-7x35 Rimfire w/ mount. Purchased new and it sat on a 10/22 & shot maybe 200 rds. Has extremely minor salt. $160
Surefire DS00 Purchased new last year and never used it. Has some salt from being stored. $90
Meprolight Micro Red Dot Sight Serial & More Purchased new, put it on an AK build but decided to go a different route. Only salt is on the battery cap. (No 2032 included, tossed it before putting it in the safe & no spares) $180
HK German Navy 3-position pictogram housing, clipped & pinned for the SP5 (2nd Owner, was purchased off HKP, who Charges over $750 for this lower)- $470 $450 obo
MFT Minimalist Stock used but not abused. $30
Old USGI J Arm from a bygone era. $22
AR Parts Odin Works Low Profile Handstop MLOK, ambi safety & mag release (all in Chad red). $25
KNS Precision AMCX adapter W/O flange, purchased new and it didn't fit the rear adapter I had. $35
Safariland 27-895, IWB Holster w/ J-Hook for Glock 43. Used off and on for about a year until I got a new carry. $35
Safariland GLS 578 Pro-Fit Compact Holster for Glock 17/28 w/belt loops. Used this for my 45 for in-service classes- $35
Rankin Industries SP4 Coated Trigger Group purchased new and mocked up but never used; as seen here-$40
CZ Shadow 2 Compact OEM Blue grips w/matching OEM magazine release and screws-$35
All NEW.
Dead Air WV205: Wolverine Thread Insert 1/2x28 $65
Dead Air WV206: Wolverine Thread Insert 5/8x24 $65
Dead Air DA411: Ghost fixed mount 1/2x36 $65
Blackhawk Suppressor Thread Mount Gas Can 1/2x28 $60
Thunder Beast Arms Muzzle Brake 30CB in 3/4x24 TPI $95
If interested Make Offers.
Paypal F&F, Prices are TYD

I (17F) and my boyfriend (17M) have been together for almost a year. A little backstory about me: my mum kicked me out when I was 16, I had been living with a mates grandmother but ended up moving in with my partners sister and sil, he moved in with me. When we found out we were pregnant, I hid the test under my pillow. His neice (18F) and her friend (17F) (which is also his friend. They’d known her for years but they had a falling out and only recently started getting close again.) came into my room to look for something and found the test, they’re friend took a photo and sent it to his family and since they found out, his sil has been saying I should get an abortion. (I don’t have anything against abortions, I just personally won’t get one.)
Their friend Sarah and his niece Matilda (obviously not their real names for privacy reasons.)
I had a family dinner on Friday to celebrate my brothers birthday. One of the messaged me and asked to not bring my partner as he just wanted family there which is fair and even if he didn’t care, my partner wouldn’t have wanted to come anyways as he never wants to come to any of my family events but always wants me ti go to his family events. That night Sarah and Matilda were going bowling and my partner wanted to go with them. I said okay. They left at 5pm and the family dinner started at 6pm so I obviously left after them. I got back around 9pm (I told my family I was pregnant and they were quite rude about it) so I asked him to come back as he’d been gone for 3hrs and he was done bowling. He said no because he still wanted to hang out with them and he said he wanted “me time”. I checked his location and saw he was at a lookout (I had been telling him for months that I wanted to be the first to go to the lookouts with him) and they filmed a TikTok on Sarah’s phone (he never films TikTok’s with me) I obviously was getting mad and told him to get back, instead the went golfing. He came back around 11:30 and I was furious as I was begging him to come back the entire time and I was upset they didn’t want to invite me (they drove past the place we live multiple times) to come and film the TikTok with then it even go golfing. He kept saying he didn’t have to come back so early (mind you, anytime I went out with friends or family I had to be back before 6pm otherwise he’d get pissy and give me the silent treatment.)
About 3 days later, we had an argument and he screamed in my face, I started crying and his sil told him to stop and she took him for a drive. I rang my mum to come get me (we were on good terms as I still wanted to see my little sister.) when I got back he was telling me he was going to sleep in Matilda’s room, I was saying no because it was the night Sarah was also sleeping in there and I didn’t want him to be sleeping in the same bed as another female. They would’ve been sleeping next to each other and in his sleep he likes to cuddle up to the person next to him so I didn’t want him cuddling up to her. He kept saying “I want some me time.” And I said back “you had me time with them on Friday, you don’t always need some me time with them.” And to that he told me that no matter what I said, he wouldn’t be changing his mind. After 3hrs I said “if you do this, I don’t think this can continue.” He said he would still be sleeping in there. Later that night he didn’t end up sleeping in there, he came into our room and slept with me.
The day after, I went to mum mums as my little sister (3F) wanted to have a sleep over. He messages me saying “Okay and I’m gonna go to net ball with Sarah but I will be snapping you every time you snap me I promise please trust me xx” I said no ask I wasn’t comfortable with just him going with her alone. He went anyways and he wasn’t snapping me everytime I snapped him, he’d reply like 5mins after I sent it and I kept getting angry as he was just in the car. They went to the game and while he was there, I told him I don’t want him watching her play and when they get in the car, I said I want him to sit in the back as I wasn’t comfortable with him sitting next to her. He kept saying no and he’s sitting in the front. I kept saying “so you’re really going to sit next to her knowing it’s going to make me uncomfortable.” He said yes and I was mad. Later that night I told him to ring me and he said “I just want some me time.” I said no because he’s been having a lot of “me time.” This week (he’s never said he’s wanted me time before. It’s only been this past week and it’s always been after he hangs out with her.)
So AITA?
(Btw, I’m only a few weeks pregnant but I’m constantly feeling insecure and hating the way my body looks. He also knows I have really bad trust issues as in the past as soon as I’ve trusted a partner with someone they told me not to worry about, I’d get cheated on so I didn’t want to make the same mistake again as I really want to be with him. And he also has to keep telling Sarah about the things happening in our relationship like idk why, I don’t even tell my bsf but I’m asking redit now as Idk if I’m just over thinking or if this is a red flag.)

Throwaway for obvious reasons. TW: Suicide. So some context. I work/worked (recently submitted my two weeks) at a very high end gunshop. I typically dealt with higher end items and collector grade pieces. The people on the sales floor were very busy and I was called in as back up. I usually enjoyed when that happened to due to me not needing to hit a sales quota and can take my time with new customers, ensuring to answer any and all questions and generally be as approachable as possible as I am (was) very passionate about the sport/hobby. I have been in this industry for almost 10 years now and generally enjoyed it. Anyway, she came in looking like a deer in headlights, not an uncommon thing to see in a gunshop. One of my guys asked me if i could work with her due to everyone else being tied up. No worries, I love working with people, especially those new to firearms.
We spent a good 45 minuets to an hour going over options and pricing. She finally settled on a .22 caliber handgun and i knocked off some money on the ammo. For all intents and purposes allow me to reiterate that I have been in this industry for almost 10 years. I do my due diligence. I know which questions to ask and how to ask them. Besides, we spent a fair amount of time together. I asked her why she got into shooting. Her resposone was that several of her friends got firearms during 2020 and she wanted to learn more/target shoot with her friends. Seems pretty reasonable enough. General small talk, where she went to college and things like that since we were the same age. She even pointed out a typo in a massive display sign. I didnt see/feel any red flags. Pretty typical sale, nothing stuck out to me. She filled out the paper work, I ran her background check and she got an instant proceed. (For those that dont know, the background checks are run through an FBI database and they give you one of three answers. 1. Proceed 2. Delay 3. Deny.) I ring up the sale, and wrote my personal contact info and the contact info of a local trainer I have good rapport with. She paid, thanked me and left.
The following morning I came in as per usual, and was prepping for my day. I get paged to come to the office as there were local PD that wanted to speak to me. PD: "Are you employee #?" M: "yeah, why?" PD: "Did you sell any [insert brand] yesterday?" M: "Youre going to have to narrow that down" PD: "[This brand] .22 LR?" M: "okay, yea [Insert the transaction details here.]" PD: "anything seem odd about that sale?" M: "honestly, no. Pretty friendly customer, very kind. Standard sale." M: "Am I in any sort of trouble?" PD: "No, we recovered the firearm at a crime scene and needed to determine if it was a homicide or not" M: "is [insert customer name] okay?" PD: "well we found her body and just wanted to follow up. Thanks have a good day"
Im going to be completely honest, after the PD left and I was alone, I broke down. Ive have had several friends over the years "check out early" to the point where I swore I'd never go to another funeral for someone my age or younger than me again. I know that pain. I know it all too well.
I hate to say, this isnt a first. Its somewhat par for the course in this industry, but she immediately took her life after the transaction. Usually, these type of things (PD involvement) are a simple phone call asking for the paperwork. I cant help to feel like I failed. Like I failed to catch something or notice something or maybe I didnt ask the right questions or not enough questions. Was there anything I could have done different? This felt personal to me. I hardly knew anything about her other than where she went to school and that she majored in English and had a keen eye for grammatical typos. I do know that she was kind. This fucking hurt. It has been over a year since this occurred and it still keeps me up at night some nights.
If you have read this far, I appreciate you giving me the space to vent. With all of my rambling concluded, I want to leave you with this: You never know what people are going through, be kind. If you or anyone in your life are showing signs of need support, I beg you, please reach out. The number here in the US is: 988
Please dont feel any any shame reaching out, Id rather you reach out than not be here. This chance meeting is one that I will carry with me for a long time.

Shortly after Final Fantasy VII hit the gaming world in 1997, Cloud Strife’s howls of grief at the loss of his beloved companion Aerith Gainsborough were echoed by droves and droves of fans. These echoes gathered in swarms, reaching the developers in the form of petition signatures, each begging the makers of the game to allow Aerith’s resurrection. Though these prayers remained unanswered —until now—, there soon came more protests: this time, fans pleaded with the developers to consider making a remake of the original game. Both of these wishes were met with considerable derision, with large chunks of the fandom calling the requests delusional— which is why the Final Fantasy world had to prepare for another meteoric hit when the Remake project was finally announced in 2015. With Kitase, Nomura, Toriyama, Nojima, Uematsu and more of the original developers at the helm, along with longtime FFVII fan-turned-developer Hamaguchi, the Remake trilogy was met with great expectations. These were nevertheless surpassed, though one aspect of the trilogy’s first entry seemed to thoroughly puzzle some and enrage others. Far and wide, the resounding questions were “What are these Whisper things?”, “Why is Cloud having visions unrelated to Nibelheim and Zack?” and “Why and how in the hell did Zack survive?”
Friends, I believe the answer lies within this post. Welcome to my literary-analysis-based theory on the Remake trilogy’s most important and most secret plot point: Cloud’s hidden mission. I want to make this fun and suspenseful to read, so I will write my analyses in the same order and manner in which I encountered them while putting my theory together. You will be reading what initially sparked my curiosity, the path I took while researching for answers, the conclusions I made every step of the way, and only then will you read my theory, after which we’ll try and apply it to the Remake trilogy so far and see if it fits! I want you to experience the rollercoaster that I did when digging through SE content to bring you this post. Thank you so much for waiting for and anticipating this analysis, and I do hope you read every word to soak in every last bit of Clerith you can get. I also hope it’s really fun and touching for you (I cried at least once making this)! Let’s embark on our adventure through the compilation, other FF games and real-life events to find out what the Remake project is truly all about and anticipate the events of part 3.
N.B.: Please be aware that I have never seen this theory navigate online, so I have no idea if anyone has ever come up with a similar hypothesis. The big reveal I’m building toward might be something you’re already aware of or suspected. In that case, I hope this post doesn’t disappoint you if you’re one of the lovely people who requested it! At the very least, it will provide you with valuable literary and musical analysis, a ton of evidence you haven’t considered yet, and hopefully, entertainment too!
WARNING: Please be careful with the censored spoiler text, because I'll be referencing other FF games in this analysis and I don't want to ruin anything for you! Obviously, this analysis contains spoilers for the entirety of the FFVII compilation. Additionally, if you're not a fan of Clerith and you've stumbled upon this post, please stop here. I would hate it if something I worked on and posted made you angry, so please don't read this analysis. I have only good intentions and I just want everyone to enjoy the FFVII world as much as they can.

I. Groundwork: The Remake Timelines Theory

Before I take you on this ride, we must lay down the framework of the Remake Timelines Theory. In this section, we’ll be reviewing the general consensus of theorizers within the fandom on timeline/multiverse shenanigans, with some added specifications on my part. Please keep in mind that because the timeline mechanics are kept quite vague by the devs, there might be certain inaccuracies in my iteration of the timelines theory. Thankfully, these potential variances won’t have any effect on the legitimacy of the theory I’ll be presenting to you in this analysis.
I. a) Sephiroth’s Plan
The premise of the Remake trilogy is widely thought to be the result of post-OG Sephiroth attempting to succeed where he failed in OG. There are six key points we need to keep in mind to understand how this was possible.
I. a) i. Sephiroth in the Lifestream
Firstly, it’s important to remember that Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream before OG even begins, and remains that way for almost all of OG's duration. He is only able to operate in the world of the living via his/Jenova's control over the living Sephiroth clones. In the OG timeline then, Sephiroth is sent to the Lifestream by Cloud twice: once before the game takes place on the night of the Nibelheim incident (pre-OG), and a second time during the final battle against Sephiroth (disk 3, chapter 3). During the long period between the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth’s rebirth at the Northern Crater (disk 2, chapter 2), he exists in the Lifestream. After his ultimate defeat (post-OG), he returns there for good.
II. a) ii. Sephiroth Unintegrated
Secondly, because he is full of hatred and unyielding determination, Sephiroth’s spirit cannot become one with the planet. After both occasions where Cloud kills him in OG, Sephiroth retains his individual will and the memories of his lifetime, remaining a separate entity in the Lifestream. He says so himself in Nojima’s Advent Children prequel novel On a Way to a Smile:

“[Sephiroth] could sense the Lifestream trying to erode his spirit— the memories of his former experiences, thoughts and emotions. If he allowed himself to be taken into the current, the being he once was would soon disseminate and disappear amongst the spirit energy cycling around the planet. [He] thought this unacceptable. The planet was to be his to rule, and to become a part of that system would be nothing short of defeat” ("Lifestream Black 1").

Combined with Bugenhagen’s basic lesson on planetology (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 19), this excerpt provides interesting information on how the Lifestream normally works. Usually, when a life returns to the planet, its individuality (personality, will, consciousness, memories, etc.) is stripped away. The trappings of a soul’s former lifetime are progressively dissolved so that all that is left is the spirit itself, ready to integrate into the Lifestream. This way, soul energy can be “recycled” by the planet to animate new lifeforms in a sort of reincarnation process. The erasure of one’s memories in the Lifestream is necessary for the creation of a brand new life, poised to make its own memories: the slate must be wiped clean, so to speak. Sephiroth’s sheer hatred for and desire to dominate the planet is enough to keep him from undergoing this process.
It is also thought that Sephiroth cannot be integrated into the Lifestream because he was conceived with the use of Jenova cells in vitro. Given that so much of his consciousness and genetic makeup originate from an alien life force, it is impossible for him to become one with the planet.
Regardless of the reason, it is precisely this persisting individuality in death that allows Sephiroth to meddle in the world of the living during the post-OG events of Advent Children, as explained to us by post-OG Aerith in On a Way to a Smile:

“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet. It was the vehemence of a strong will, one that would never join with the planet. She knew this consciousness. It was [Sephiroth]. A merciless spirit hidden behind a beauteous wall. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence to the surface of the planet“ ("Lifestream White 1").

I. a) iii. The Lifestream Beyond Time
Our third point is that the Lifestream has existed for as long as the planet, and has therefore touched every part of its history— including, of course, the events of OG. On that account, one could think of the Lifestream as atemporal. Considering this, it is possible for a spirit in the Lifestream to communicate with or even travel to the past, provided the necessary circumstances and/or abilities. For instance, the Aerith that appears in Cloud’s resolution scene in Remake (chapter 14) is commonly considered to be a post-OG Aerith, appearing to him from the future to try and dissuade him from falling for her. This time-defying event is made possible by the fact that post-OG Aerith’s spirit has access to the atemporal Lifestream because she's deceased. In my view, this explains why she dissolves into green light (Lifestream visual cue) at the end of the resolution scene (5:19-5:45). This is not time travel per se, but it is a manner of communication unobstructed by the one-directionality of a linear timeline that only spirits can perform.
I. a) iv. Sephiroth Beyond Time
What we’ve covered so far amounts to our fourth point. Please familiarize yourself with the graph below before you continue reading. Refer back to the graph when you encounter text in bold.
The Remake Timelines Theory: FFVII OG Timeline
As we discussed in section “I. a) i.”, Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream for the duration of the green arrow and beyond point D: in the context of the OG timeline, he can only ever be considered “alive” during the period highlighted in purple. In section “I. a) ii.”, we asserted that Sephiroth retained his individual will in the Lifestream, enabling him to exert his influence on the world of the living by manipulating his clones on the surface. In section “I. a) iii.”, we covered the atemporal nature of the Lifestream, which allows post-OG Aerith’s spirit to communicate with her past, living self thanks to her Cetra abilities. Now, I will explain to you how Sephiroth was able to do virtually the same thing, albeit his lack of Cetra blood.
To the characters of the story and a fully immersed first-time player of OG, the timeline above was not always an established series of events: when they first started playing FFVII OG, the player began at point B, with nothing existing beyond it. It is only as the player moved Cloud forward that the black, arrowed timeline was drawn, accumulating lived events (or points) in Cloud’s wake. The picture you see above is only available to Cloud and to the player with hindsight. All this to state the obvious: at point B, Cloud could not know what would occur, say, at point C.
During the period highlighted in purple, Sephiroth was “alive” again, accumulating new memories on the surface of the planet and adding them to his consciousness. When he entered the Lifestream for the second time at point D, he brought these memories with him. Simply put, after returning to the Lifestream at point D, Sephiroth remembers what happened during the period highlighted in purple. However, given that the Lifestream exists beyond time, upon Sephiroth’s consciousness’ return to the Lifestream at point D, his newly acquired memories were also made available to him at all points on the green, double-arrowed line— including point A, before the OG timeline even begins at point B. So while it is true that Cloud cannot know what will occur at point C if he is only at point B, Sephiroth indeed knows what will occur during the period highlighted in purple when he is only at point A. While a living, pre-OG Aerith would be able to receive post-OG Aerith’s spirit’s knowledge through the Lifestream thanks to her Cetra powers, Sephiroth has no need for this ability. The fact that he resides in the Lifestream for practically the entire FFVII OG timeline renders the limitations of time irrelevant: as far as the FFVII OG timeline is concerned, Sephiroth exists beyond time itself.
In summary, after point D was first encountered in OG, pre-OG Sephiroth (in the Lifestream) is made aware of his eventual defeat, and begins plotting an alternate path to victory. This time, with the benefit of hindsight, he will do things differently: we experience his "second” attempt at FFVII as the Remake trilogy.
I. a) v. Sephiroth Against Fate
Of course, the Whispers stand squarely in Sephiroth’s way. This leads us to our fifth point, which Remake Ultimania describes better than I ever could:

“According to Red XIII, who gained knowledge through his contact with Aerith, ‘The Whispers are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure they do not’ […]. It would appear that what the Whispers deem to be ‘fate’ is the original story of Final Fantasy VII” (section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).

OG’s plot line is the fated timeline, and the Whispers are tasked with its preservation. They prevent alternative paths from even beginning to branch out from the OG timeline, which poses a problem for Sephiroth: he cannot win FFVII if his destiny is to lose it.
I. a) vi. Sephiroth and the Multiverse
Consequently, our sixth point is that Sephiroth must dismantle the mechanisms of fate before he can even try to accomplish his dreams of godhood.
As Sephiroth explains in chapter 14 of Rebirth, “the planet encompasses [an ever unfolding] multitude of worlds”, and these “[new worlds are born] when the boundaries of fate are breached.” Since the Whispers uphold the “boundaries of fate”, a world in which Sephiroth’s evil plans succeed can only emerge after the Whispers have been defeated. Otherwise, destiny will continue to protect the OG plot line by preventing any significant deviations. Consequently, before the party vanquishes fate, the Remake timeline and the OG timeline are one and the same: before chapter 18, Remake Barret is OG Barret, Remake Tifa is OG Tifa, Remake Hojo is OG Hojo, etc. After the defeat of Destiny, the OG timeline is no longer protected by fate: there are now an infinite number of timelines or worlds, including those we see glimpses of in Rebirth: Remake Barret is no longer necessarily OG Barret, Remake Tifa is no longer necessarily OG Tifa, Remake Hojo is no longer necessarily OG Hojo, etc. Perhaps this is why Aerith gives the party the following warning at destiny’s crossroads in Remake:

“[This] is the wall of destiny. If we go through it… if we go beyond it… then all of us will change, too” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Destiny’s Crossroads”).

I. a) vii. Sephiroth’s Plan
Now that these six points have been elucidated, we can compose a solid hypothesis on how Sephiroth plots to win FFVII.
After gaining knowledge of his eventual demise (disk 3, chapter 3), pre-OG Sephiroth began thinking of what he must do in Remake from the Lifestream. First, Sephiroth must antagonize the Whispers in the initial stages of the OG timeline. He accomplishes this by commanding his clones to commit acts that drastically violate the fated timeline, engendering plot-line deviations that the Whispers must course-correct. The most extreme example transpires in Remake’s chapter 17 when the Sephiroth clone in President Shinra’s office kills Barret, forcing the Whispers to restore the fated plot line by coming forth and reviving him. The Whispers react to Sephiroth’s prodding by rushing in to protect fate, their efforts culminating in the protective wall of destiny that surrounds Midgar in chapter 18.
Secondly, after he’s created an opportunity for a battle against the Whispers, Sephiroth must convince the party to seize it and beat fate for him. After all, a mere Sephiroth clone is probably no match for Destiny. This second step is accomplished in Remake’s chapter 18 when Sephiroth successfully tempts Cloud to breach the boundaries of fate. Now that destiny is no longer a limitation, worlds deviating from the OG timeline can finally emerge; Sephiroth has a chance at victory.
The steps Sephiroth plans to take going forward are unknowable at this stage, but we do get more hints in Rebirth’s chapter 13. At the Temple of the Ancients, Sephiroth reveals a part of his plot:

“Sephiroth: My fragmented mother, these errant worlds... All shall be one again.
Aerith: The ‘Reunion’…!”

It seems Sephiroth eventually plans to merge the worlds created by destiny’s defeat in Remake’s chapter 18. My guess is he hopes to achieve godhood in part 3 and consolidate all diverting worlds into a single timeline protected by destiny once more— only this time, his victory will replace the ending of OG as the destined outcome. If he succeeds, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers will likely replace the planet’s Whispers as the arbiters of his desired fate.
I. b) Aerith’s Intervention
But Aerith can’t let this slide unchallenged!
We know that before chapter 18 of Remake, while the OG plot-line is still protected by fate, Aerith has knowledge of its future. This is insinuated by certain slips of the tongue: for instance, when Aerith reveals she knows Cloud is a mercenary upon meeting him for the second time in chapter 8, just like she knows Tifa will ask her to retrieve Marlene at Seventh Heaven in chapter 12. In the run-up to Remake, post-OG Aerith's spirit likely sensed Sephiroth planning his second try at FFVII in the Lifestream. She’s been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s plotting in the Lifestream before, namely in the context of Advent Children:

“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet […]. It was [Sephiroth] […]. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence [on] the surface of the planet” (On a Way to a Smile, "Lifestream White 1").

If you’re wondering how Aerith was able to maintain her individuality in the Lifestream like Sephiroth, On a Way to a Smile provides the following explanation:

“[Aerith] was an Ancient, which explained how she was able to maintain her individuality even within the Lifestream. If she so wished she could become part of the planet at any time, but [she] thought it too early for that just yet” ("Lifestream White 1").

It is thought that, as a countermeasure to Sephiroth's scheming, post-OG Aerith’s spirit used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inform her past, living self (pre-OG Aerith) of this new threat to the planet. Because the Cetra can commune with spirits, pre-OG Aerith would have been able to receive post-OG Aerith’s message from the Lifestream without a problem. Essentially, pre-OG Aerith received post-OG Aerith’s memories of the fated OG timeline. As a consequence, pre-OG Aerith embarks on the OG timeline with knowledge of the fated future that demands she give her life: the player experiences this version of her in Remake.
Be that as it may, it’s unclear how much Remake Aerith is aware of. You would think she’d be completely opposed to defeating, destiny since it protects the planet, but Aerith shows ambivalence toward the idea instead. Had she gotten a clear message from her future self that she must keep fate intact, she would not have allowed the party to enter the battle against fate in chapter 18. She doesn’t seem to know what the Whispers are the first time she encounters them either. Regardless, what’s important is that the Aerith seen in Remake is the result of pre-OG Aerith receiving knowledge from post-OG Aerith via the Lifestream.
I. c) Ambiguity: Memory Transfer or Time-Travel?
There remains an ambiguity pertaining to the Aerith we see in Remake and the question of time travel. What I’ve described to you in section “I. b)” is post-OG Aerith's spirit transferring her memories to her past self through the Lifestream. However, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith’s consciousness used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inhabit her living OG body instead, effectively time-traveling. There is no evidence to outright refute either explanation, since the gaps in Aerith’s memories of the OG plot-line in Remake can be explained in both cases. For instance, in a memory transfer scenario, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith only communicated the most essential information to pre-OG Aerith. On the other hand, in a time-travel scenario, one could interpret the following quotes as proof that the Whispers are progressively erasing Aerith’s memories of OG as Remake advances:

“Aerith: Every time the Whispers touch me, a piece of me falls away” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”)
“At any rate, Aerith is perplexed at how, like a flower being scattered, something inside is being taken away by the Whispers and lost to her” (Toriyama in FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”, “Scenario Staff Q&A - Answered by Motomu Toriyama”).

This ambiguity is completely irrelevant to Sephiroth’s situation in Remake, as we established in section “I. a) iv.”.
The specifics don’t matter nearly as much as I’m impressing upon you by explaining all these little alternatives. Simply keep in mind that: regardless of why, the Sephiroth and Aerith we see in Remake know the events of the OG game because they have acquired this knowledge from the future, and the events of Remake occur squarely within the OG timeline until the Whispers are defeated in chapter 18.
So there! That’s my iteration of the Remake Timelines Theory! I hope I’ve made it clear in your mind, or at least clearer. Now that we’ve established the widely theorized premise of the Remake trilogy, we can get into our theory on its hidden premise.
II. My Initial Curiosity
My theory first burgeoned upon going through Remake for the second time. I noticed something strange going on with Cloud, something that could not be explained by the Remake Timelines Theory. Key moments in Remake Cloud’s experience of the OG timeline (aka, everything before chapter 18) stuck out to me as strange and mysterious, and certain inexplicable audiovisual cues struck me as hugely significant. It was upon watching the tear fall from Cloud’s eye during my second go at chapter 8 that I knew I had to look into this.
At the very end of Remake’s chapter 8, Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him, humming happily into the night air as she sets off to lead the way to Sector 7. According to the VA script notes, “his heart skips a beat” and watching her walk away provokes a sudden “anxiety” within him. Triggered by the familiarity of the sight, a strange sensation overcomes Cloud:

“[There’s a] close-up shot of Cloud’s fingertips (they’re tingling). He presses them to his temples (his eyes are burning). A trickle of tears quickly rolls down from the eye hidden behind his hand” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).

If you’re clever, you’ll recognize these lines as a reference to the speech Cloud makes in OG following Aerith’s death at the City of the Ancients (“My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!”) (disk 1, chapter 28). In this small moment in chapter 8 of Remake, Cloud experiences a flash of the profound grief he is destined to feel upon Aerith’s fated death.
Many players immediately recognized the composition of this scene: the blue-greenish air, the straight path Aerith heads down, the sight of her walking away itself… this moment closely resembles Cloud’s Sleeping Forest dream of Aerith in OG, wherein Cloud and Aerith’s very last words are exchanged (disk 1, chapter 25). Toriyama, codirector of the Remake project, comments on this scene thusly:

“It’s possible these similarities […] cause a memory of the future to be called forth in Cloud” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).

The language used by Toriyama here is strange in both the English translation and the Japanese original: the term “memory of the future” makes no sense. One cannot remember things they haven’t already experienced, so why did Toriyama use the word “memory” to describe a "future" event? Couldn’t he have simply said that Remake Cloud experiences “visions of the future” rather than “[memories]”?
Cloud experiences a few moments like these throughout the game. These pseudo-premonitions are just as markedly exclusive to Remake as the Whispers are. I did not want to dismiss them as a foreshadowing device the devs included just to elicit emotional reactions from OG players; I felt they were more important. And thus began my digging! My mission was initially to figure out what these “[memories of the future]” (MOTFs) could signify… I had no clue it would turn into what I’m writing right now.
II. a) Each MOTF and Its Context
I began by finding every one of Cloud’s MOTFs so I could better understand them.
MOTF 1 occurs in chapter 2 on Sector 8’s Loveless Street, when Cloud sees Aerith struggling against the Whispers. The VA script notes reveal that even though this is only his first time seeing her, Cloud recognizes Aerith’s face:

“Recognizing Aerith’s face causes Cloud to experience [a hallucination]. Sephiroth is suddenly standing between him and Aerith” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Encountering Aerith”).

Sephiroth then taunts Cloud with words that, according to the script notes, “[live] inside of Cloud's heart”: “You can’t protect anyone. Not even yourself”. Cloud should not recognize Aerith’s face at this point in the OG timeline, nor should he associate it with not being able to protect people.
MOTF 2 occurs in chapter 3, at the plaza in front of the Sector 7 slums support pillar. Cloud experiences a MOTF of the plate falling, which is fated to occur at a much later point in chapter 12. The Whispers float near him, “watching Cloud alertly as he sees a vision of the future” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
MOTF 3 occurs in Aerith’s church at the start of chapter 8, when Aerith mentions that her mother’s materia is “not good for anything at all”. Triggered by the mention and sight of the White Materia, Cloud’s fourth MOTF takes the form of a vision: he sees quick flashes of the materia falling into the lake of the Forgotten Capital and Aerith holding her hands together in prayer. These are evidently visions of her death in OG (disk 1, chapter 28).
MOTF 4 is the one we first discussed, occurring at the very end of chapter 8 as Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him to lead the way toward Sector 7.
MOTF 5 occurs in chapter 13 shortly after the Sector 7 plate has fallen on the slums. Cloud tells Barret that Marlene is safe at Aerith’s house, and they begin heading there. As Cloud thinks about Aerith, the VA script notes describe the very next moment as follows:

“Cloud: Tifa, you know anything about the Ancients?
Tifa: I’ve heard of them before, but…
Barret walks on ahead, showing little interest in the topic.
Barret: Read a book on planetology and they’re sure to come up. They’re a tribe that cultivated the planet a real long time ago. Used to talk to it. That sort of stuff.
Cloud: That must be why the Turks were after her.
[Psychic] interference starts up.
[Cloud has a] flashback of Sephiroth from five years ago, after learning of his ancestry at Shinra Manor […].
Sephiroth [(in flashback, voice tinged with madness)]: Within my veins flows the blood of the Ancients. I am the rightful heir to this planet!
The flashback ends and Cloud looks lost in thought. The interference starts up once more. Cloud makes agonized sounds. When he opens his eyes, Sephiroth is actually standing before him.
Sephiroth: You failed again— failed to protect [her]*.
Cloud is startled. He shrinks back. Tifa watches what’s happening. The other two can’t see Sephiroth. All they see is Cloud acting frightened.
Sephiroth: But loss will make you strong. […] Isn’t that what you want?
With that, Sephiroth departs.”

*Sephiroth does not use a gendered pronoun here, because the grammatical structure of the original Japanese sentence doesn’t necessitate it. I've seen some debate as to whether the proper translation is “her” (Aerith, who’s just been kidnapped), or “them” (Jessie, Biggs or Wedge, who have seemingly just died). I believe Sephiroth was referring to Aerith for a few reasons. First, Cloud’s hallucinations of Sephiroth always appear as a response to whatever he is perceiving or thinking about at the moment. At this point in the scene, Cloud has been thinking and talking about Aerith for some time, and not about Jessie, Biggs or Wedge. The Sephiroth hallucination must therefore be referring to “her” rather than to “them”. Secondly, Cloud was never tasked with “[protecting]” Avalanche, but he was in fact tasked with “[protecting]” Aerith as her bodyguard back in chapter 8: it makes far more sense for Sephiroth to be referring to Aerith when he speaks about someone Cloud “failed to protect”. Finally, FFVII Remake Ultimania describes this piece of dialogue as “[Sephiroth aiming] these profound words at Cloud, who not only failed to prevent the tragedy in the Sector 7 slums but allowed Aerith to be abducted” (Sephiroth’s profile in section 01 “Character & World”, “Impressive Words”, page 29): the specific mention of Aerith here seals my decision to translate the line with the pronoun “her”.
Contrary to Sephiroth’s words, this is the first time in Remake that Cloud “[fails] to protect [Aerith]”, and he hasn’t “[lost]” her either— not yet, at least. So why use the words "again" and "loss"? This fifth MOTF must be similar to MOTF 1, in that Sephiroth is referring to Cloud’s guilt surrounding Aerith’s death in OG.
MOTF 6 occurs in chapter 17, in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. The Whispers swarm Aerith as she tells the party earnestly that she wants to do everything in her power to help her friends and the planet: according to the script notes, it is at this very moment that, “for some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”). In the corresponding cutscene, this unpleasant physiological reaction to Aerith’s words makes Cloud glance down at his chest with a confounded frown. This physical response to her speech about wanting to fulfill her duty to the planet implies that Cloud somehow knows deep down that saving the world will cost Aerith her life.
At this point, I noticed that five out of the six MOTFs Cloud experiences in Remake are triggered by and/or revolve around Aerith specifically, the one exception being a MOTF of the Sector 7 plate fall. One could actually argue that this MOTF revolves around Aerith too, considering the plate fall marks the first time Aerith is taken away from Cloud since reuniting with her in the Sector 5 slums church. This is more than plausible, as MOTF 5 proves that in the wake of the Sector 7 plate fall, Cloud’s main concern is Aerith (see section “II. a)”). How fitting is it, then, that the merc of few words’ longest uninterrupted piece of dialogue in all of Remake is:

“We found an underground Shinra lab where they've done human testing. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I know these people, and I know they're never gonna let Aerith go. She's the last living Ancient on the planet. Think about what that means to Shinra's scientists. Especially to that son of a bitch Hojo. We're all just numbers and meat to him—“ (Remake, chapter 13).

Cloud would’ve gone on too, had Elmyra and Tifa not stopped him.
At this juncture in my research, my questions were only stacking up. What are these MOTFs? Why is Cloud the only one experiencing them? Why do all of them implicate Aerith? What did the devs hope to accomplish with their inclusion in the game? What do they mean for Remake’s story? But most importantly:
II. b) What Does Cloud Know?
The first assertion we have to make is simple, yet essential: the only reason Cloud would experience MOTFs is that whatever’s triggered them is significant to him in one way or another. Some part of him must recognize his triggers for them to be triggers at all. It’s clear he doesn’t consciously understand the meaning of his MOTF triggers, just like his Jenova triggers: for example, Cloud doesn’t know why Zack’s name causes him to experience psychic interference, but it sure does. We as players know Cloud’s MOTFs are hinting at Aerith’s fated death because of our awareness of OG, but as a character navigating the OG timeline, Remake Cloud shouldn't even be unconsciously aware of Aerith’s eventual death in the slightest! Whatever the nature of the MOTFs, it’s essential to understand that if Cloud “[recognizes]” Aerith’s face the first time he sees her, it must mean some part of him knows Aerith’s face in the first place. If this recognition triggers a hallucination of Sephiroth telling Cloud he “can’t protect anyone”, it must mean some part of him knows he was once unable to protect Aerith. The same goes for every other MOTF: subconsciously, Remake Cloud somehow has memories of the OG timeline. Most interestingly, it looks like he either only has OG memories related to Aerith, or like his OG memories of Aerith are simply the only ones prominent enough to trigger his MOTFs. Why and how does Remake Cloud have memories of OG, and why are they so focused on Aerith in particular? What does he know?
When examining a situation with no explanation, it’s wise to examine similar situations that have already been explained. Maybe the mystery of Remake Cloud’s MOTFs will become more approachable if we consider the cases of the only other Remake characters who seem to know the future: Aerith and Sephiroth. Remake Sephiroth knows the future of the OG timeline because his consciousness exists beyond time in the Lifestream, while Remake Aerith likely obtained her knowledge of the future from post-OG Aerith’s spirit via the Lifestream. But what about Cloud? Where does his weaker, fragmented knowledge come from?

I wasn’t going to post this because I ended up evading the raged-out man but I genuinely have never had something so terrifying happen + want to see if anyone has had a similar occurrence?
Last week, I had a late spray tan appointment (10pm). I first noticed a man with long black hair driving a small grey/silver car aggressively weaving in and out of traffic about 2 mins after I pulled out onto South Lamar. The light where you’d turn onto Treadville St was red and I had to stop—this is when I knew something was wrong. He was one car behind me at the light but I could see him flashing his lights.
Once the light turned green, he gunned it around the car behind me and caught up with me. I’ve never had someone tail me so closely—if I would have even slightly tapped my brakes, he would’ve been in my backseat.
We then were stuck at the light at South Lamar. I was watching him in my rear view and noticed he was leaning down into the floorboard of his passenger seat, clearly searching for or something which terrified me. The light turned green, and I gunned it, but the light ahead of us by Starbucks was turning red, and he was getting into the lane where he would be to the left of me and I could see him roll down his window and flailing his arms at me with something in his hand. I waited until he got almost right up next to my car before I gunned it down the road to Starbucks and back up to South Lamar and made an escape back to my house.
I have no idea why it happened. I wasn’t driving recklessly, I didn’t cut anyone off, and there was hardly anyone on the road. I would describe him as late 20s to early 30s with long black hair and he was driving a small silver car, either an old Toyota or Camry model.

There is always something on my fall wish list. for years it was a good autumn leaf garland (got that), then this cute felt candy corn garland (took me years to get that), and last year i got autumn leaf pillows!
This year I made an early purchase by getting this really cute brick red shoulder bag. it's too early to wear now but perfect for the fall. I am also on the hunt for small accessory pieces with red/burgundy and leapord print. I know it's not even summer yet, but let's be real by the time that summer comes around all the fall decor and clothing will be out.
is there anything you're looking to get? something you can't wait to bring out again? i have a box of trader joe's pumpkin bread i'm thinking of making for summer, like for a summerween week lol.

This will be my first time ever openly sharing about my addiction; from the root cause to the effects and struggles that having a porn addiction has impacted my life to this day
So I just recently turned 21 and I'm beginning to look around and realize that for as long as I've acknowledged that I have a problem and need to quit, I keep feeding the addiction KNOWING that it's ruining my life. I'm going to split this post into 3 sections explaining the following stages: The root causes/early development, Progression of my addiction to current day, and Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal. Not exactly sure why I'm posting this but I just feel like it's something I need to let out. Hope someone can relate or give me their take on it.
The root causes/early development: So I believe that my PA manifested due to a few different reasons: Playing "doctor" with my sister as a child, early age porn exposure, and then using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with any negative emotions. So starting w/ "playing doctor", it first happened at a very young age, somewhere between elementary school to 6th grade. I think most people know what that is but to keep it short basically my sister who is a year older than me introduced my to basically role playing as doctor and patient. I wasn't sure if SHE even knew it was wrong but the point is, it happened. I genuinely don't think she was doing in an abusive way but I'll never know. I don't remember the small details of exactly how it happened but what leads me to think this was a factor that contributed to my porn addiction is that I know now as an adult that it's wrong, however as we "played doctor" I only grew to enjoy it and occasionally we took things outside of "playing doctor" - which is why I don't know what to make of it... Long story short it went from "doctor" to us making up our own games like "spy" where we pretended to fight each other as spy's, getting "knocked out" unconscious while she'd touch... and I specifically remember wanting to play these games in hopes that it led to that. But even outside of playing games I grew to wanting to touch her and act on perverted thoughts as a child that were NOT normal for my age or in general. And sometimes I would sneakily act on them - which as I'm reflecting on right now makes me think that me KNOWINGLY trying to be sneaky and act on perverted thoughts at that young of an age had to have carried on with me as I got older (contributing to my porn addiction).. And then the last thing that I vividly remember was when I was probably 10-12 years old is when again we were actually kind of aggressively play fighting, somehow ended up with each other's hands DOWN THERE mutually and we kept going on with each other until she made me.... yeah. And that was the last memory I had of what started out as us "playing doctor". Fast forward to current date since that last memory and we've never spoken about those experiences (more on that later). Going onto the actual exposure of pornography and WATCHING porn, I was exposed to it somewhere in between the same timeframe as when I'd play doctor and the last memory of us playing (somewhere between the ages of 8-12). I can vividly remember the scene that played late at night on the tv that my parents had left on (I shared a room with them). And then moving forward from there, somewhere in between I would find videos on YouTube of this "prank" channel where he'd go up to paid actors, bet that if he beat them in rock paper scissors that they'd have to make out with him. And as a young kid at the time seeing a girl in a bikini making out with a guy as he grabbed on her ass just made me horny and I learned to masturbate from there. And I cant think of a stronger dopamine hit for a 8-12 year old little me at the time than seeing those videos and pleasuring myself. After this, I'd hit middle school where I was bullied a lot, all while lacking social skills necessary to make any genuine friends or deal with the emotional turmoil of being bullied. Fast forward a few months and I think I just progressively began to normalize using porn as a coping mechanism - All the way from whenever I just got mad while dying repetitively on the videogame, to avoiding the fact that I hated my life everyday that I went to school. I'd use porn to receive that "good feeling" whenever I could. And I think my sexual addiction got worse when I began touching myself in the shower almost everyday in middle school to the imagination of the pretty girls that were at my school, even though I had neverarely talked to some of them. It was just a thing for me where every night I took a shower, I closed my eyes and fantasized about doing stuff with them. And then the cycles of me normalizing these things continued and eventually I found out about REAL porn sites.
Progression of my addiction to current day: So shortly after finding the real porn sites I entirely opted to use those as much as possible as the cycle continued. So by my freshman year of high school I was already using porn sites regularly. I remember during summer and winter breaks, sometimes I'd sleep at my grandmas and stay up all night switching from ejaculating to porn, to watching my favorite youtuber and streamers, to going back to jerking off. It was a multiple times a day/night occurrence OFTEN. Sometimes even during the middle of the day I'd pretend to use the bathroom but really I had a porn video pulled up and I watched until I was done. And as time progressed one video didn't exactly cut it for me. I don't think its that I couldn't get off to the first video, but more so that I just had the urge to see more and didn't want to nut yet. I didn't even know if I was purposely edging or not. I did not even understand that edging was a concept yet. Its just something that occurred naturally for me. And during all of this, I am still somewhere in the age range of 13-15. Consistently ejaculating to pornography, further exploring the more basic categories of porn like anal and lesbian. I think a notable memory was one of the first times I watched porn in the middle of work during summer break (extended family owns a construction company so I worked over breaks). It's crazy because in construction all we have are porta-potties that are always hot and nasty and the urge just came over me one day to pretend like I was using the bathroom and get one off before I went back... I don't think I even realized at the time that I had an addiction because this was still early high school. It was just something I looked at as a good feeling and whenever the urges came to me I took any chance I got to fulfill them. Even if I was sharing a room with a family member, I'd be as slow and quit as I could, touch myself under the covers, finish in my underwear and then showechange the next morning like it was normal. Moving forward, this type of behavior continues all the way throughout high school and the feeling of ejaculating just is not as intense as it use to be, so I look up ways to spice it up and I tried shit all the way from sitting on my own hand til it goes sort or numb so it "feels like someone else is touching you", to doing it in more risky places like my backyard outside when I was home alone and had my pants pulled down all the way, to whatever else I could try. Reflecting back, I just look at all these actions as the progressions of a sexual/porn addiction that is still developing. And this is how I rationalize the way I developed a porn addiction. Now it wasn't AWFUL in high school but it was getting bad. I realized that I had actually had a bad addiction that needed to be addressed a few months after graduating high school. From that point forward It was something that I had acknowledged was an issue but nonetheless, continued to do out of habit and as a continued coping mechanism. Whether it was from the lack of relationships, to my current life situation/direction I was headed in, or just any negative emotion - I used porn to release. Sometimes I'd even just do it out of boredom, not even because I had a dying urge to get one off. And then after that point of realization, I sat in "depression" for a few months still going about my everyday life until one day my dad mentioned that I should try therapy. He knew nothing about the addiction but I did let him know I feel depressed and the many struggles that I faced - which I believe is due to my porn addiction. So long story short, I go to therapy for about 3 sessions and end up dropping it because it just wasn't something I felt was helping or enjoyed (more on that later). From there to current day, I've gone at MOST one week periods attempting to quit porn and every time I relapse. From the age of 1 to-current day 21 years old, the progression of the categories of porn that I watch has grown and a few different fetishes like face sitting, femdom, and role play has increased. I don't NEED to watch these specific categories to get off, however these are ones I've found myself most recently watching and edging to, sometimes for 1-3 hours at a time, usually at night on weekends or before I fall asleep. And to take it a step further, I had started pouring money into camgirl sites, phone sex sites, only fans, etc.. I live with my parents still so it's not to the point that I'm broke and have no money, but still what the fuck am I doing putting my hard earned money into a porn addiction... (I'm a functioning adult on a pathway to financial freedom, more on this later).
Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal: So I believe that the main struggles with my porn addiction consist of: the inability/struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships, low self esteem, poor social skills, lack of motivation, and the cognitive dissonance of continuing my addiction to porn even though morally I believe it is wrong to lust over. I believe all of these struggles that come with porn are connected to each other - minus the cognitive dissonance. But everything else kind of stacks on top of each other. So my thought process is that I already dealt w/ low self esteem and confidence from a very young age, and porn just completely enhanced those problems and made it even harder to fix/work on. If you're anything like me and have watched videos on the sciences of porn on your brain, and possible struggles that we deal with, I'm assuming you know how it goes for the most part. I'd say I show symptoms of all effects of being a porn addict, however I've learned to "act normal" to an extent. Like YES I struggle to make friends and hold conversations with people in general but I can make it happen. Sure it'll be a little awkward depending on who I'm speaking to, but I feel like I act normal enough to not be a total outcast and all out weirdo around people. But I just feel like every relationship I have with anyone is extremely surface level or unfulfilling. I feel like as a person I lack so much substance and personality due to the fact that I never really put myself out there and learned social skills when I was coming up. My mindset was molded into something like "keep your head down and stay out the way" in order to avoid conflict. So I never really put myself out there to develop any type of super crazy/interesting personality. I work, play videogames, go to the gym, watch anime. I feel like there's not much else - which might also be a side affect of my porn addiction. Lack of emotion. And I refuse to call it depression. Kind of got red pilled by Andrew Tate Philosophy and it entirely HAS helped me. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not - because when I was fresh out of high school and hyper focused on the bad parts of my life, I felt depressed as shit. Legit like I couldn't do anything to fix it. And the more I identified as "depressed" the more I allowed myself to look for things in my life to confirm that belief. So eventually I went on a self improvement journey and just stopped allowing "depression" to hold power over me. Now I don't believe in it so it's not something that can hold me down in that crippling way. HOWEVER, I DO believe in just being in a shitty situation - which is what I feel like having a porn addiction along with it's effects and symptoms is. It's a shitty situation and I can either allow it to keep ruining my life OR I can get up everyday and attempt to fix it. And I refuse to play the victim card. Sure, I may have been exposed to some fucked up shit at a young age and used porn as a coping mechanism. There is no denying that it happened and that it may have been unfair and out of my control. YES, that's my problem. I may be a victim of pornography but I do not have to ALLOW it to continue to ruin my life. Easier said than done but it's definitely possible and I will not blame my lack of discipline or call it "depression" because I'm unable to quit. The way I see it is, there is a lot of shit that happened to me in the past that I have to come to terms with, and then I must come up with a plan to improve and learn how to be better. For example, struggling to hold eye contact with people, hold basic conversation with people (specifically women), find confidence within myself, become more social, etc... These are all skills that we can practice and learn. Simply by going outside and putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that allow us to put the reps in. I believe that if I quit porn and start walking up to 10 strangers a day and try having simple conversations with them, in time I can only get better at being social and connecting with people. It's gonna suck and feel like shit at first, but I truly believe that it's a way to improve and get better. As I stand in my current situation I would say I have a lot of work to do but I'm still a functioning addict. I have friendships and relationships with family but they are very lack luster and I long for something deeper and more intimate. I know I'm not ugly and have the ability to pull a good looking girl, shit I've turned down this really pretty girl who always asks to hangout simply due to the fact that I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up and have bad social skills. And its getting to a point where friends and family are wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Overall its a lack of self esteem, which hinders me from being able to confidently put myself out there as a person who's deserving of love/companionship, which then makes me sort of self isolate and stray away from any type of connection or opportunity to be vulnerable. Which just leads me to feeling like a loser or someone that is undeserving of love because I'm just in a shitty situation. And yeah. Its kind of a self sabotaging cycle because I feel like I understand what's going on but I don't have the discipline and don't put the work in to get better. But that's just my two cents. This post was extremely long and I probably rifted off topic a few times and had my thoughts all over the place, and I still have a lot more I could give input about but this is the jist of everything
If anyone has a support group or needs someone to talk to, 1. I'd like to join the group, or 2. Feel free to message me for any support or conversation.

What's up all! 4th Wall here! I finally have power returned to my home, and can play a little catch up! This one's a heavy hitter, No NSFW needed (I hope) but if you've got kids, be warned.
First, Previous, Next
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A bright flash of blues and whites spat a greyish black object into normal space a mere one hundred Clicks from physical asteroid cloud that provided a natural barrier into the Lurix system. USN Olyvia’s drives instantly flared to life, and she made for the outer edges of the asteroid field with a purposeful stride. The senior Crew was at hand, having alternated shifts so they were well rested for this endeavor. Captain Correllus Grarzia shifted in his chair slightly, watching with interest as his star helmsman switched from his standard control configuration to a more “analog” twin joystick and pedals. ‘The kid really should be piloting a fighter’ he mused just as the young lad turned to look at him. “Ready, skipper”

“Take us in. All ahead slow.” Cory ordered calmly, before keying up the ship wide broadcasting channel. “This is the captain. We’ve just entered the Lurix system. Rig for silent running. I repeat, rig for silent running.” All across the ship, nonessential systems were shut down; their lack of electronic signature aiding the stealth coating on the bulky former troop transport. In engineering. Patrick, Cammy, and the rest of their section powered down a large portion of the larger systems onboard.

Life support was set to emergency backup, with old school oxygen candles lit in special housings that allowed their life-giving emissions to be circulated throughout the ship. Each major section of the vessel had their own supplies of these low-tech solutions, and Olyvia carried enough of these candles to survive for several days without functioning life support if needed.

Only a few were lit this time, using them as an augmentation to allow for minimal use of their perfectly functioning life support systems; and Cammy returned from the compartment just in time to aid in shutting down two thirds of Olyvia’s fusion reactors. This was not usually part of the silent running protocol, but Cory had added it for this mission. While they knew where their target would be, they still knew very little about what defenses awaited them inside the system.

Patrick keyed up the mic, “Engineering reporting in, silent running.”

*acknowledged* came a voice back. And Patrick leaned back in his chair just as Cammy arrived. “Well, that’s that.” He sighed.

Cammy stepped behind his chair, rubbing his shoulders for a second, “candles are lit. Two per section. At this rate we won’t run out for a year.”

Patrick chuckled, standing before looking over at his team, “sandwiches are in the mess hall. Half go now, half after. We’ll wait and go with second shift.” The team nodded and soon. The room was half as full. “Hurry up, and wait” Patrick mused, and turned to the rest. “Hold’em anyone?”

Over the next several days, shifts were kept short with a high rotation frequency. Olyvia picked her way through the natural minefield created by a destroyed world, slipping between the dead planetary shards with deadly caution. She ran quiet, with all but minimal deflectors shut down, and a single detuned laser online on each of her flanks as a last resort against impacts. Cory, Jesse, Patrick, and Cammy met regularly to keep tabs on the ship’s progress. The admiral’s transmission had reached them in time, and the four of them, plus Jacky when she could pry herself from the infirmary, worked to formulate a plan to get into the freighter without killing everyone. They had Hera and Jacobs reports, but those reports also admitted to a certain degree of incredible luck on their part. Things could have gone very differently, and the murder of the freighter during the admiral’s capture operation hinted at a change in tactics from their foe.

Mackenzie’s Privateers had liberated several freighters since they began operations, keeping to their cover as “pirates” by leaving nothing big enough to betray their secrets behind. A few of the other captains had left pieces of inoperative Unity tech, strategically damaged and jettisoned after the fight, as red herrings to convince both the Vorath, and the Thermians that these “pirates” had somehow gotten ahold of Unity warships.


Cory stepped into the cargo bay to meet Patric and Camorra. They were tinkering, carefully he hoped, with one of Olyvia’s harpoon missiles. It was a project triggered by Cammy’s brilliant, if outlandish, idea. “We know these freighters all ran the same codes, and the same infrastructure in their computer cores. Why can’t we hack it. Human computing should be perfectly capable of it.” Cory remembered her words as he stepped up to the two, “at ease” he waved them away as they threatened to salute him, “how’s out little project coming.”


“See for yourself” Patrick smiled handing him a data pad.

Cory took the offered device, quickly scanning through the data, “All I see is Olyvia’s system logs. Did you give me the wrong one?”

Patric smiled evilly, “that is coming from the missile, we found a common power regulator chip that dam near all Delmar freighters use in their integrated core management. Our mole here mimicked that regulators protocols to get into one we installed in a conduit over there” he pointed to an open panel. “It’s designed to cycle through several common chip sets and protocols to get access.”

“You hacked Olyvia?” Cory asked, eyebrow raised in a combination of amusement and irritation.

“Well, “Cammy said calmly, “we had to test it, and Oly’s the only ship close enough…”

“I see…” Cory mused, “it will have to do, we will be reaching the edge of the field in three days, how many of these can you have ready?”

Patrick scratched the red stubble punctuating his jaw line. “Hmm two, maybe three, including that one.” He winced at his captain’s expression, “took us a minute to get the virus right, sorry.”

Cory sounded to himself like a broken record, “I guess that will have to do as well. I’ll leave it to you.” He turned to return to his office but was interrupted half way there by an urgent request for his presence on the bridge.

Jesse rose to greet him as Cory stepped into Olyvia’s command center, and he nodded towards the ready room off to the side. The two of them quickly stepped inside and Jesse closed the door. “Jesse, what’s this about” Cory asked, settling into his desk chair.

Jesse, his first officer, and battle born brother looked at him seriously, “The first of our stealth probes have made it into the system proper….. It’s not good” He tapped at his data pad before handing it to his captain, “The enemy is doing something big down there, and we don’t know what. What we do know, Is that there are three heavy cruisers in orbit, and three more destroyers in floating patrols around the system.”

Cory scrolled through the pad as his first officer made his report, pausing at the same information on the planet’s surface, “These are military installations. This makes no since. We haven’t had a use for Lurix in millennia. It’s always just been a haven for aquatic and semi aquatic species. Why didn’t our intel warn us of this.”

Jesse nodded grimly, “I don’t know for sure, but I have my suspicions.” He reached over, tapping at the tab to open a particular file Cory had yet to find. “We found these in orbit as well.” He pointed to a pair of Delmar constructed freighters, parked in orbit over the marsh world. “I authorized a single transmission to a single drone, uploading Patrick and Camorra’s hacking program into it, and we sent it to one of those freighters... this is what we found.”

Cory opened the indicated file, and felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he watched. “Ready a tight beam, send it back the way we came, Towards Simo.” Jesse looked at his captain in understanding. The risks of transmitting this close to the enemy was a grave risk. Measured against the information they just witnessed; however, it was an absolute necessity. Jesse took the offered tablet, “The Admirals need to see this…. Both of them.”

————————————————————


Clint Stevens groaned as his communicator beeped from his desk. It was a very early morning on a weekend, and Frie had let Natalie stay at her grandparents for the weekend. He quietly slipped from the entanglements of a profoundly comfortable Delmar goddess he had somehow been gifted with as his wife, and silently cursed the inevitable destruction of his plans. The Com was linked to his computer console, and Clint tapped the file as he sat down.

The file opened, beginning with a grim looking Corellus Grarzia who made an intro statement that froze Clint in his thoughts. Before he could begin to prepare himself, images flooded in that turned grogginess into razors edge consciousness ringing with a white hot fury. Frie was ripped from her slumber instantly, reaching for her biometric pistol safe as a response to the unbridled rage she experienced from her husband. It took her a moment to realize that they were not being attacked, and she rushed from their bed, neglecting even basic decency to be by his side.

The two of them watched the Horrors unfold. Children… small children of multiple different races, stacked in a freighter’s hold like cattle, being thrown food like one would an animal. Massive screens played, promising safety and full bellies should they only but kiss the hand of a severe looking Vorath female. All who had not, were treated to daily ice cold sprays mixed with random beatings. He watched as desperate older siblings attempted to shelter their kin from the abuse, often times paying the ultimate price for their valor.

Clint and Frie were spared a further assault on their senses by a beeping light, indicating an urgent call from Clint’s adopted brother. Frie slipped out of view, reaching for a night gown as a furious Mac, accompanied by an equal parts shocked and livid Lyrian, appeared on screen.


“You’ve seen it” Clint stated. There were no barriers between them, no formalities. Only pure truth.

“I have,” Mac rumbled. “Why is it always kids..”

Clint shook his head, “I can have a battle group there in two weeks. It’s not soon enough, but.”

Mac nodded sharply, “I’m redirecting everyone not on critical missions. Simo and Kid are already there with Olyvia. Wisconsin is enroute. We will await your arrival….. Clint…” Clint’s eyes met Mac’s in a joined promise that reached across time and space.

“No, there won’t.” Clint answered, responding to Mac’s unspoken statement.

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A week later, The Chancellor Thomas Durrant of the Sol Federation perused the latest transmissions from Unity space. He was due for reelection this coming fall, and it was a close race. His opponent was labelling him a Warmonger, as he was an outspoken proponent of a more active role in the struggle against the Vorath, and it was working. The points were closing in the polls, and The Chancellor had not come out on top with the latest debate results. Humanity simply was not interested in further conflict. For the first time in human history, the vast majority of the Human race was content with peace.

The Chancellor took a sip of his mug as he opened a file from Admiral Stevens marked priority, but not top secret and promptly spit the contents in his mouth back into the mug. It was a complete file on some kind of intelligence operation, and Durrant almost wondered if it had been sent to him in error. The gruesome cover video dispelled that notion as the leader of Humanity itself watched horrors thought long dead play out in front of him. Several minutes later, he closed the file, and opened a message prompt.


“Viktor, are you up.” He typed.

*Yea, Tom. I’m up, the campaign ain’t gonna run itself into the ground.*

Durrant snorted at the dark humor, “Viktor, I was sent something. It changes… everything” he typed, attaching the cover video, and the longer form surveillance recording he had found inside the file from Clint. Several minutes passed in tense silence before…

*Jesus Christ, Tom.*

Tom Durrant took a long slow breath, “Do you still have your man at The Post.” He paused before sending, knowing what he was asking.

*Yea… yea I do, Tom. Are you sure you want to do this. This has ‘it will blow up in my face’ written all over it.*

“I know, but this bigger than me. Do it, and announce a press conference to follow if The Post runs with it.” Durrant typed and sent the last message, closing down his console. He stood slowly, feeling his age for the first time in recent memory, and walked heavily to bed.

The Post ran with the story. In the next 48 hours, the “leaked” scenes of tortured children, some barely more than infants ripped its way into Humanities Psyche. The revelations of what exactly was going on behind Vorath lines assailed Humanity, spurring many to call for blood, and Others to cry hoax. Around and around the political commentators debated, and redebated the shocking footage.

Chancellor Thomas Durrant followed through on his word, and was now stepping up to the platform and the Microphone as promised. He stood there for a full minute, meeting the eyes of as many of the hundreds of reporters before him as he could. The weight of his expression prompted a flurry of flashes as camera drones captured the image. Durrant allowed all of this to happen, waiting until the din of activity settled into a heavy silence. “People of Humanity… By now, you have undoubtedly seen the shocking pictures from the far side of the galaxy. Many of you believe it to be a hoax, a desperate ploy for political points. Allow me to be clear. This is no hoax, I received these disturbing images directly from Admiral Clint Stevens, who is marshalling the forces at his disposal as we speak. He aims to do something about these orbital concentration camps, and I support his actions with the full backing of my authority as Chancellor of the United Sol Federation.”

Durrant paused, letting the information sink in before continuing, “to answer the question as to whether this is a political ploy for points. Let me be perfectly clear, I alone released the footage from inside those torture ships, and I do not care if you believe it to be a political ploy. If Humanity can see the atrocities committed to the young innocents in those images and refuse to stand up for them; I no longer would wish to lead that Humanity. Yes, we are few compared to what we once were, but we have a strength that cannot be fathomed by those who chose to side with pure evil. Make no mistake, any being that is capable of torturing and murdering children deserves the title.” The Chancellor of United Sol skewered the silent crowd with a withering gaze, “All of you here know that I have been an ardent supporter of taking a more active role against this pure evil, and my opponent has made a great many statements regarding my supposed “warmongering”. I believe that to debate him further on this matter is as wasteful as it would be irrelevant. As such, I am suspending my campaign immediately. Pending permission from donors and the campaign review board, I will be donating the totality of my campaign war-chest to the purchase of relief supplies and construction of rehabilitation facilities for these children.” Durrant paused as a wave of gasps swept through the room as a volley of flashes assaulted his eyes. “Holding the position of leader of the Human race seems so insignificant in comparison,” he said softly, almost to himself before scanning the crowd. “The election is 4 months away. If you wish to reelect me, so be it; but know this.” Thomas Durrant rose to his full height, “If you elect me this fall, know that I will use the full weight of this office to unleash the full might of Humanity upon this evil, or I will resign from my post and travel to Unity space myself.”

With that. Chancellor Thomas Durrant spun on his heals and marched off the stage.
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