Poems about people who don t care

I heard of this show when I worked at a bookstore. One of the Managers told me to watch it, and for some reason I knew I wasn’t in the right head space. Never really thought to watch of it, I typically lean towards horror when I watch TV shows.
That was a near 5 years ago. My life has changed a lot since then. I lost near all my friends, in one way or another, this year in particular I had to let someone go, I’ve been really lonely then for what ever reason I sat down and started watching this 8 year old TV Show and for another reason felt a lot of my thoughts come alive on the screen.
How we are all connected, how de ja vu works, how the people in our lives are meant to be…
I don’t even know what I’m going on about. The last episode really just ended, but I think I want to say thank you for the creators and writers for making such a beautiful piece of art.

To preface, I will begin my senior year of college in the fall of this year. I’m studying Biology, and have done pretty poorly. My GPA is around 2.3.
I had no direction for much of my college career, which is mainly why my grades are so low (not an excuse at all, ultimately I just didn’t put the work in). Recently, after working at a health center, I’ve decided I want to be a nurse. I feel more excited about school now, knowing I have a clear end goal in mind.
The only problem is that my options are so limited now. I looked into ABSN programs, but many require 2.7-3.0 GPAs and even higher numbers in the prerequisites. I feel like I’ll never be a nurse because I failed myself for the past 3 years.
I guess I’m just asking for some hope or advice from people who have been in a similar position. Thank you.

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MNS Oengro

“How’s the fuel status of the Oengro?” Grionc asked.
Vastae, eyes glued to his console, replied without hesitation. “We have just enough blink fuel for one jump, but we aren’t going anywhere once we get to the other side without a refueling ship.”
“One blink is all we need. And if the Oengro is good to go, the other, smaller ships should be fine too then,” Grionc responded, bringing up the system map on screen with her paws. “Four minutes to blink limit. Have the ship’s crew secure themselves for the blink and get ready for shift change to execute post-blink procedures when we arrive.”
“Yes, High Fleet Commander,” Vastae acknowledged with a brisk nod.
Suddenly, three quarters of the sensor readings on her sensor board disappeared, and the fidelity on the remaining took a nose-dive in accuracy. A low murmur ran through the sensor stations, which she waved away with a paw. “No need to panic. It looks like our friends jumped before we did, as arranged. Our sensors are on their own for now.”
Vastae swallowed hard. “Are you certain about this plan, High Fleet Commander?” Vastae asked nervously. “Not that I don’t trust what Sphinx— Speinfoent cooked up, but this is a last-minute plan modification we haven’t rehearsed. And with our fuel situation, we only get one chance here.”
Grionc put a calm smile on her face. “Remember that exercise we did with the Grass Eaters a while back?”
“Which one?”

4 months ago

“Since it’s New Years, it’s time to have some fun,” Mark announced with a grin to Grionc and the rest of the curious bridge crew. “I’m going to show you guys a fun teambuilding exercise we did on Terra.”
“Teambuilding exercise?” Grionc asked suspiciously.
Mark didn’t let her skepticism color his enthusiasm. “Well, I’m not sure how much teambuilding it does, but it is fun. And I have never seen aliens do it. In fact, this might be the first time this has ever been done outside of Sol!”
“Fine, fine. What are we doing?” she relented.
“This exercise is what we call the trust fall.”
“The trust fall?” Grionc repeated. “It’s about building trust? Like trust in your crew?”
Mark nodded vigorously. “It’s supposed to. I’m not sure if it truly works, but it truly is fun. You and I can demonstrate for the crew.”
Grionc sighed. “Sure. What do I do?”
“Come stand over here,” Mark pointed to a spot on the floor, and then stood in front of her with his back to her. “What I’m going to do is I’m going cross my arms… like this… and on the count of three, I’m going to fall backwards, and you have to catch me when I do.”
“Huh. That seems dangerous. What happens to you if I don’t catch you?” Grionc asked, mild concern creeping into her voice.
“Traumatic brain injury, probably. Something similar for your species too, I assume,” Mark shrugged nonchalantly. “But don’t worry about that. We have good medical facilities on the Nile, and you will catch me. That is the point of the exercise. Alright, you ready?”
Sensing his insistence, Grionc sighed and held her paws out, bracing herself. “Ready.”
“One, two, three…” Mark did as he described, crossing his arms, and falling backwards into Grionc’s outstretched arms. She grunted with slight effort as she intercepted his fall and then gently lowered him onto the ground, “Oomph. Huh. You Terrans are lighter than you look.”
“Yeah, my bones are nano-grafted,” Mark grinned, bounced up to full height, and circled around her back. “Okay, now it’s your turn.”
Grionc crossed her arms and held her breath for a moment. “One, two…”
She didn’t move. A few seconds later, she let go of her held breath. “I can’t.”
“What? Why not?”
Grionc muttered excuses. “No, it’s just— my tail— our balance mechanisms are different, I can’t just fall backwards on purpose—”
Mark insisted. “It’s not that difficult. Just let go. Don’t worry. I’m right here. I promise I’ll catch you.”
She held her breath once again, psyching herself up for a few more moments.
“One, two… doh, I can’t.”
Mark lightly patted her on the shoulder. “That’s okay… don’t worry… Hey, Speinfoent, come over here and give her a light shove. Alright, on the count of three. One, two—”
“Oh, no. Don’t you dare! No! Don’t touch— Yowwwwwww!”
Grionc continued, “And now… we fall. And we trust that our new friends will be there to catch us.”

ZNS 2228

“They’ve blinked,” the computer officer reported.
“Did we catch their blink vector?” Skvanu asked urgently.
“Calculating… got it! We triangulated their blink vector and probable destination! Entering it into our fleet navigation computers,” she responded, paws flying over the controls.
“How long before we can execute the blink?” Skvanu pressed.
“Two minutes before we hit the limit ourselves,” she replied, not looking up.
“Good, get the crews ready and start the countdown. I want to blink the millisecond we are clear of the system limit. And get all systems ready for what’s on the other side. They almost definitely have an ambush waiting for us. I’m guessing that’s where the remaining nine or so squadrons of Sixth Fleet are waiting for us,” Skvanu said confidently. “Twelve Lesser Predator squadrons to twenty-six of ours. Doesn’t matter how many upgrades they have, we will defeat them, especially since the first three will be within railgun range. Get those gunnery crews and point defense computers ready.”
“Blinking in seventy seconds,” she announced. “Sixty-five seconds—” Suddenly, she stood up, “Eight Whiskers, our FTL communications are open again! Both Datsot and Gruccud have just responded to our last message!”
Skvanu spun around to face her. “That makes sense. Whatever device they used to stop our communications must have been on one of the ships that just blinked out. Is there any priority intelligence from either?”
“Yes! Datsot has an emergency transmission for us. It’s from Ten Whiskers Ditvish!”
“What is it?” Skvanu asked, his voice serious.
She began to read. “Lesser Predators have entered Datsot system in force. Nine squadrons spotted so far. They may attempt to engage our garrison force there… His guidance is that we return immediately to trap these aggressor ships, but leaves the decision up to you…”
Skvanu absorbed the information with shock. If those ships are really in Datsot, they must not be on the other side of wherever the Oengro is blinking. And with that context, this now smelled exactly like a planned trap.
He thought out loud. “This must be what the Lesser Predators planned from the start. If we chase, we have no idea what they have on the other side. There may be refueling ships. They may have already gotten away. By the Prophecy, they may even be sacrificing three squadrons to get us to blink through a singularity or anomaly. But wait… If we return to Datsot immediately, we might catch those squadrons split from the rest of their ships and cripple their fleet!”
Having made up his mind, he shouted urgently at the navigation station, “Navigation, hold the blink!”
“Halting the blink procedures.”
“A handful of ships have already completed the blink!” the computer officer reported, almost in a panic.
“Cease blink procedures! Fleet-wide, cease the blink!”
The order went out immediately, and it was a testament to the discipline of the Znosian Navy that most squadrons managed to stop the countdown just seconds before it went through.
“How many ships went through?” Skvanu asked urgently.
“We managed to stop most of our ships, Eight Whiskers. Only five combat ships from Squadron 6 went through.”
He sighed in relief. “Only the Prophecy can help them now… Turn us around. Let’s get back to Datsot.”

TRNS Nile

“I think we are in sufficiently deep space,” Captain Gregor Guerrero said to his crew. “Drop us out.”
“Yes, captain. Emergency drop-out in five… four… three… two… one… now.”
The ship shuddered and creaked as the emergency-stop was activated. The blink engine wound down, forcing the ship back into normal space.
Gregor turned to his navigation officer. “How far from Plaunsollib did we travel, in regular space?”
“Two months on their Alcubierre drives if they combat burn with all their fuel. Four if they plan on stopping,” she replied immediately. “They’d be going too fast to aerobrake anyway.”
“Good,” Guerrero said, gluing his eyes to his sensor board. Ships in FTL are difficult to detect, even on gravidar, but the state-of-the-art technology on the Nile gave them a few seconds of warning.
A few seconds later, the sensor officer’s voice cut through the tense silence. “I’ve spotted the Puppers in blink! All of them, tight formation. They’ll pass us in about fifteen seconds.”
Guerrero nodded his pleasure. “Good, let them pass. Tell me when they’re out of range.”
The seconds ticked by. “Ten… five… they’ve passed our position… and now they’re out of range.”
“Now, switch on the blink disruption field,” he ordered.
The hum of the ship’s ambient noise went up an octave, signaling maximum power drain as the ship’s thirstiest system kicked in.
Gregor looked at his information panel. “Full emissions control. EMCOM Alpha. Deploy the FTL jammer drone and then shut off our engines. If things go well, we’re about to be joined by half the fucking Bunny Navy in a minute.”
“Aye, Captain. EMCOM Alpha.” The rest of the crew nodded, working their controls with practiced competence.
“Jammer drone out. You think they’ve got wild weasels, captain?”
“Unlikely, but we take no chances. If they don’t…” He shrugged. “… we’ll just get our drone back later.”
A tense minute passed, then the sensor officer reported, “Captain, Znosian ships spotted on gravidar! Two… three… five in total… They’ve just been forced out of blink.”
“Five squadrons?”
“No, Captain, five ships.”
Gregor furrowed his brow, surprised, and took another glance at his console. “Only five ships?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Alright, keep the disruption field up, and analyze the drive signatures on them. Maybe one of them is this Skvanu guy we’re supposed to hit,” he speculated hopefully.
After half an hour, Guerrero finally called it quits. “No more guests are showing up. Looks like they must have wizened up at the last moment.”
“Aye, sir,” the executive officer said, shaking her head in disappointment as well. “It was a good plan. Could have stranded their whole fleet out here.”
“Well, bad luck— these things happen in war, Lieutenant. Don’t worry. We’ll get them next time. How are the guests we did get doing?”
“Out of blink fuel, as expected. They’ve been dumping cargo in an organized fashion. I think they’re planning to see if they can reach Plaunsollib with their subspace drives in a reasonable amount of time and call triple A.” Then, she asked, “Where do you think the rest run off to?”
“Probably Datsot,” Guerrero guessed. “Phone Sphinx and tell him he’s probably got the whole shit storm heading his way, ETA about a couple days. Get the estimates to him.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now, we just need to silence the witnesses so we can use this trick again. Bridge to CIC: let’s keep it simple. One Kestrel for each of the targets. We’ll swiss-cheese them with railguns after. Just in case.”
“Aye, Captain. We’re not dropping off those TRO drones here, are we?”
“Nah. Too much work. No one is finding these guys ever again anyway.”

MNS Trassau

“I just got off a call with the Nile,” Loenda announced. “Looks like the Grass Eaters have discovered our ruse in the other system. The main enemy fleet is heading our way right this second.”
Speinfoent sighed, and suggested, “If we burn closer for just half a day more—”
“No more,” Loenda declared. “We are already risking nine squadrons coming this far into the Datsot system limit.”
“Alright,” Speinfoent agreed reluctantly. “We can still give them a present they won’t forget any time soon.”
“That, we will. That we will.” Loenda turned to her console. “All ships in Battlegroup 2, dump your payloads as quietly as you can. Then wait half an hour to change your vector and make your way to the system blink limit.”
“Yes, Battlegroup Commander.”

ZNS 1841

“Ten Whiskers, the Lesser Predators are turning around,” the computer officer declared, doing her best to hide her relief.
“What? Where are they heading now?” Ditvish asked, confounded.
“Towards the shortest path to the system blink limit, I think.”
“That’s it? They’re just leaving now?”
“Combat computer speculates that they might have seen that Eight Whiskers Skvanu is heading back to Datsot, so they are breaking off the attack,” the officer offered.
“That’s… not very Lesser Predator of them, but very logical,” he admitted. “They must have realized their plan failed and are now cutting their losses.”
He didn’t mention that his fleet was the one that came out behind, losing yet another precious supply convoy and then sending the whole combat fleet on a wild predator chase for nothing. That State Security goon might start to become a problem if he didn’t spin this well in his after-action report.
A few hours later, a foreboding feeling coloring his mood, he ordered, “Sensors, boost our radars towards where they changed vectors. I want to check to see if they dropped any drones or traps.”
“Yes, Ten Whiskers.”
The 1841 boosted its radar towards the direction, blaring out signals on maximum strength and—
“Incoming… missiles? Ten Whiskers, many missiles! Dozens! Over a hundred! They’re well within our minimum abort range!”
“By the Prophecy!” Ditvish exclaimed. “All ships, execute combat burn away from them! Countermeasures and fire counter-missiles, at the ready! Track those missiles!”
Fortunately, the garrison fleet was still in high readiness from before. Their engines were ready to light up to full acceleration immediately.
Unfortunately, the missiles were already close. In desperation, his ships began dumping their entire loads of radar chaffs and flares into space behind them as they maneuvered away from the threat. Counter-missiles sped out of their tubes towards their rear, relying on their motherships’ sensors and radars to find the tiny alien missiles for them to engage.
Quietly gliding through space towards the enemy on inertia inherited from their motherships was the sizable swarm of Terran-made missiles. Obsolete for military purpose in Sol but still produced for the civilian and gray market, they were an easy addition on the TRO’s shopping list. Vast quantities of them had found their way into various shell corporations and dead drops all over Sol, then onto hastily constructed exterior pylons on Sixth Fleet ships.
While they were indeed several times outside of the maximum effective range of the Znosian ships at launch, missiles technically did have unlimited ballistic ranges in space — if their enemies were not moving and they did not need to constantly fire their thrusters to adjust course. Relying on a short first burn and then inertia, they flew most of the way towards the stationary enemy fleet completely undetected. By the time they were spotted, it was too late; the Znosians were well within their effective ranges.
Their intelligence chips might not have been super-Terran state-of-the-art computers, but the Pigeons had no problem realizing that they were discovered. They had been tracking the enemy targets using passive infrared sensors that did not alert enemy threat sensors to their presence. But the second that the targets started dropping flares to blind them, they activated their primitive late twenty-first century radars and homed in onto the priority targets they’d been given. Their main thrusters began their burns, adjusting their vectors to intercept the now-finally-moving enemy ships.
Then, they saw the incoming counter-missiles — fired by the enemies sporadically, obviously in panic.
The makers of the Pigeons might not have bothered to include next-generation electronic dazzlers on them, but penetration aid on missiles had been standard in Terran warfare for a century. They littered the space they were in with chaff and their own bright flares, coordinating with the other missiles in the area with short range laser communication to ensure that none in the swarm would confuse or disrupt each other.
The Znosian counter-missiles were certainly confused and disrupted though. Many veered off into phantom signals. Some lucky ones did manage to find their targets. When a few of their comrades dropped off their impromptu mesh net, the Pigeons constantly corresponded with laser communications to re-prioritize their targeting.
At the top of the list was the fattest, easiest target of them all: the enemy flagship 1841.
Seconds before impact, the missiles finalized their targets, and they spent every drop and fume of their remaining fuel on terminal maneuvers.
The Znosians’ close in weapons systems had milliseconds to engage the incoming threats. They performed admirably… for trying to deal with this unknown alien threat for the first time. A couple dozen more missiles were plucked out of space, but it was not enough.
Not nearly.
The rest slipped through the net.
Miraculously, the 1841 managed to survive initially. Despite it being the primary focus of the Pigeon mob, the other ships did their best to shield its most vital components in its rear with their own point defense. And the Pigeons — like most missiles of its era — were loaded with just enough firepower to destroy much smaller Terran ships. The larger hulls of the Znosian ships gave their obsolete mid-century intelligence chips a slightly more interesting exercise in module identification and targeting.
The massive Thorn-class battleship took fourteen hits to varying systems that the missiles visually identified as “that looks pretty important” on their final approach: its primary missile and gun tubes were trashed, venting atmosphere to space in those compartments. A proximity hit near the stern took out four of its eight massive main thrusters and several system modules at the rear of the ship. And perhaps worst of all, one Pigeon managed to zero in on its vulnerable front bridge, the explosion emptying its contents and occupants into vacuum.
Luckily for Ten Whiskers Ditvish, none of them hit the armored flag bridge where he was in the belly of the ship, vindicating the Znosian Navy’s practice of separating the two for redundancy.
Nonetheless, Ditvish fell to the ground as the simultaneous impacts temporarily overloaded the inertial compensators and shook the ship to its core. Sparks flew around him, and he smelled a pungent stink as the automated fire suppression systems kicked in to save as much as they possibly could.
He slowly climbed to his feet and looked at the scene around him. A sensor officer was spraying foam at a small fire with a handheld device, successfully extinguishing it in seconds. Several other of his crew were recovering and returning to their stations with remarkable calm. After all, they were elite, well-trained spacers and officers of the Znosian Navy.
Ditvish did the same, propping himself back into his command chair with slight effort. He operated his console in a concussed daze. One glance at the status board told him that the 1841 was a write-off. It wasn’t going to be combat effective ever again. At least its life pod systems were working, and he watched in relief as dozens then hundreds of crew members in the damaged sections of the ship climbed into theirs and ejected into the relative safety of vacuum.
He checked up on the other ships: several others were hit. Six had outright detonated: no survivors nor signals came from them. Two were irreparably damaged, their remaining crews also abandoning their ships in an orderly fashion. And another six had visible fires or scorch marks on their damaged hulls, but those crews were still valiantly fighting to keep their ships alive.
Ditvish noticed that the missile didn’t go for all his ships, just the ones on the outer edge on his sensor board— wait, the missiles—
To his horror, several more dozen missiles they’d detected were still active, and they were going for—
He looked at his computer officer’s station and yelled, “We have to warn them!”
She yelled something back at him, but he realized that he couldn’t hear her. Hitting the floor must have injured his hearing organs. He yelled again, hoping that she could still hear. “Warn the orbital support fleet! The logistics and fire support ships! Evasive maneuvers and take cover in the atmosphere!”
Her lips moved again. He got out of his chair and stumbled over to her in a daze, trying to hear what she was saying.
She was saying something.
It must be important.
“… not reach them. Our communication array… destroyed! Ten Whiskers, we need to get… We don’t have much time!”
Ditvish finally understood her from reading her lips. He didn’t respond. Just numbly watched the planetary battlemap of Datsot on the main screen.
It didn’t take long. They were completely defenseless.
The remaining missiles plucked every last orbital fire support and logistics transport ship out of the skies of Datsot. Most detonated; a few left behind trails of black smoke as they sank uncontrollably towards the planet’s surface.
Then, Ditvish’s hind legs gave out and he crumpled onto the bridge floor.
He was dimly aware of one of his subordinates dragging him towards the bridge escape pod as he blacked out.

MNS Trassau

“Don’t worry, Speinfoent,” Loenda said, putting her paws around the junior commander looking glumly at the image of Datsot retreating from their view as the rest of the bridge cheered the better-than-anticipated success of the raid. “We’ll come back, and next time, we’re coming back for everything.”
“That we will, Loenda. That we will.”

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There is no research that shows the effectiveness of trust falls for building trust in a team and plenty of research showing that falling backwards from a full standing position without adequate bracing or padding can lead to serious brain, spinal, and back injuries.
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Chapter 53: Apostasy

So for context earlier yesterday, we had an argument because he had come home from work talking about a car that he wanted to get but I brought up my concerns about how he tends to have too many drinks and drives.
He usually will have about three drinks maximum, but I still feel that that’s too many. I even asked him if he would let me drive after three drinks and he said no I told him that’s a double standard and unfair that it only highlights that three drinks too many I told him I don’t trust him when he does this and that I don’t feel safe in his car when he’s inebriated, even after only a few drinks.
He proceeded to get really upset with me even physically pull away from me when I said that. He left the room to go answer the door because someone rang the doorbell. It was a random sales lady, trying to talk about contracting work for homes in the area she sounded younger and they had a really nice chatty conversation with laughing and everything while I was in his room crying in his bed still.
I confronted him about that and he said that he was just trying to be polite and used a tone saying “what am I supposed to do not be polite? “. They even toward the main floor of the house even though it’s not his house it’s his moms. She gave him his card, but he didn’t really say much about her when he came in the room.
We talked about it, and he broke down, crying about how everyone in his life judges him, including his family about his actions, and that he never feels like he can achieve or do good enough in other people’s eyes. I felt bad seeing him break down so we made up and decided to have a good night. He told me he would work on his drinking and be mindful to only have one beer if we do go out.
That night I decided we needed to connect a bit more physically, so I thought I would treat him to a BJ. Granted I do or are used to give him lots of DJs. We’ve only been married for about a year. I’ve stopped enjoying them as much because I find that he doesn’t ever reciprocate for me and I and I rarely get to cum now. He always finish his first and then we go to sleep. The times I have came. I had to basically nag him to go down on me by asking if he actually enjoyed it to what he said “of course! I love it “.
Well, yesterday he went down there for about half a second. After blowing him for a bit I decided to get on top and have sex. I was writing for a bit and then he said he was about to finish so I got off I blew them again but this time he was close to finishing so he decided to hold my head and my neck close to his penis, and then proceeded to come all over the side of my face.
He never asked me if this was OK before hand, and he never really gave me a heads up. He just held me they’re finished and out of spite I decided to wipe it all across his body because I was upset.
I didn’t say anything afterwards, but he laid there and said “oh you should cum too” But never actually did anything to me. I decided to get myself a quick orgasm and play it off like it doesn’t bother me.
This has been an ongoing issue, where sometimes, if I coach him and hold his hand through the entire thing, I can manage to have a good sexual encounter, but most of the time it feels like a porn actor performing for him, and essentially not getting anything in return. I feel disconnected from him and sometimes I have to think about other things in order to be turned on because I get anxious thinking about what will inevitably happen if I do engage with him sexually.
I’ve tried to talk to him about this before, but a lot of the time I met with he feels judged, I’m over, thinking it, or he’ll be super apologetic, but then it will happen again.
My best friend tells me that these are all major red flags in my marriage and I’ve even suggested to him in the past to go to therapy but he completely denied that and said we don’t need that.
We’re currently in the process of my visa and I have about maybe a year or less until I’m expected to move down to the US. I’d be leaving my job, my friends and most of my family behind for this man. I am very scared that I will be making the wrong move if things continue to go this way. I’m worried that I’m sacrificing everything for someone who isn’t willing to even listen to some of my concerns.
I’d like some advice on this and maybe even show him this thread because I don’t know what else to do.
TLDR; Husband drinks and drives, came on my face without asking, and generally shuts down when we have discussions or arguments. How can I get him to listen?

so if you look up "recently reinstated" in this subreddit, that was my post. I just wanted to give an update on how I have been feeling.
I think I am pretty within my right to be "anti-witness" more than anyone I know. I have been through a lot and still go through a lot. But since I made that post and since November when I actually got reinstated, I have confidently come to the conclusion that this lifestyle is simply not for me anymore, but don't necessarily feel the need to bash the religion as a whole.
I understand there is A LOT of discrepancies within this religion (or whatever you choose to call it) and that there are a lot of things that don't make sense. There are a lot of ways of thinking that are forced on you that is dangerous. That as a witness you are part of god's chosen people and no one else. That you will be saved in Armageddon but no one else. The way blood transfusions are interpreted and it takes the lives of many. How sexual abuse has been handled in the past and how these people will never be the same or get a sense of justice. And how the disfellowshipping arrangement is a source of sadness for so many people to the point of suicide. You are controlled in ways you don't even realize. You grow up close minded thinking everyone is out to get you. You cannot up and leave as"freely" as you think you are. If you do, you very well could lose everything just as I did once upon a time. I understand all of this and I understand some people are more passionate about different aspects of the things I may have mentioned due to their personal experience, but whatever an individual chooses is what they choose and not for me to judge or dictate and that leads me to my main point;
Again, I am not willing to life this life and all that it entails anymore and I am okay with that. I am in the process of going inactive and having my family slowly understand that. I still live at home for the time being and out of respect to my mother, I still attend meetings periodically, but I do not involve myself with service or associate with any witness friends I used to have. I do not deserve having to fake a lifestyle to please the people around me nor do people deserve to be deceived by me in this way. I guess what I want anyone "questioning" to understand is that this is YOUR life. People can judge all they want. People will have mouthfuls to say about the life you choose to live, but NONE of these people will ever understand how you feel or even pay your bills. So do not let what they think or say affect your life. It is so so hard to get out of the witness mentality and not care about what people think because 80% of being a witness is caring about exactly that, but Jehovah does love you outside of this organization and loving and serving God should not feel like "do or die" or like you will lose everything for being imperfect in this imperfect world. And just because you no longer want to live this life doesn't mean you are looking for an excuse to "be worldly" and do "worldly things". You are within your right to choose for yourself and can live a life without the stress of being a witness and truly relax.
More than anything, though, I am proud that I have not let this horrible experience of mine not let me lose my faith in Jehovah. I wholeheartedly believe Jehovah exists, but my relationship is very damaged. I cannot pray or even open a bible on my own. But I try my best to let go of the resentment within myself to continue being the best person I can be to anyone who interacts with me. Growing up a witness can instill a lot of good in you. Good qualities and amazing memories, but it can cause so much confusion and pain but you don't have to suffer. I hope all of you who share my sentiments find some hope in my words. Everything will be okay, even if you have to play the long game in order to the outcome you want. We all deserve happiness.

TLDR: I (28M) just joined a new company, which is only my second job in an industry I’m still new to. I needed to leave my last job. The company I joined wanted to move quick vs. my #1 choice, which had a delay in sending an offer. I joined the one that sent me an offer. My #1 choice was aware of both the offer I received and later, that I accepted it since my #1 didn’t give me anything on paper. One week in, and my #1 choice is still pursuing me and ready to move forward now. My gut worries are not alleviated with my new company, and my gut is telling me I made a mistake. I am worried that I’m being hasty with still feeling a pull towards my #1 choice and not giving this a chance. Any advice appreciated.
Here’s the long story.
I started in an entry level advertising (account management) job two years ago. The learning curve was steep but it was an established company, and had a strong process and structure on an account which is a top 3 worldwide electronics giant. I learned the work quickly. Made plenty of mistakes but I matured into the role and performed really well, so I earned a promotion last September. Overall, until the last 4 months or so, I genuinely loved it even though the workload was honestly leaning towards unreasonable. There was a reluctance from management to get more hands on deck to help out, and an increasing number of projects streaming in, and it started to bleed into my personal life because the day left me so unbelievably exhausted I had no energy to do anything else. Even trying to do the bare minimum at work, to help alleviate this a bit, was a lot of work regardless. I was one of the best at my job in my company and even then missing things left and right because of the sheer number of deliverables and ridiculous timelines. On top of this, my raise kept getting pushed out because of financial issues at the company (what’s that got to do with me lol?) and my raise which was supposed to happen 5 months ago didn’t get activated. This obviously led to burnout and eventually in me deciding to send out job applications 3 months ago. I was still getting paid effectively an intern’s salary even until my last day. Even so, I gave it 100% until the literal last minute and made sure to create lots of resources for whoever would replace me. I left on a positive note with everyone, including my boss who I have great respect for.
Long story short, I had/have two main companies pursuing me - Company A and Company B. Both offered the same salary, which was a significant jump in pay over even my raise amount, so that was sorted and not an issue. That was my main priority.
With that aside, what I was looking for was basically, in priority order:

1. Clear avenue for growth and development since I’m still relatively new to the industry
2. Strong culture/a fun team, good relationships- I get a ton of my energy from social interactions and it’s important to me that I see myself getting along with team members
3. Management and boss I could see myself learning from and working with, that is interested in my growth
4. Strong structure and process - need this to be able to work effectively
5. Collaborative client with a good reputation
6. Diversify my expertise and do something new

My first job in this industry, which I left, hit all of the above for most of my time there.
Company A, pursuing me, was my first choice, after having met with them a few times over the course of a month. They hit all my requirements and I felt a sense of excitement when they got serious about moving to send an offer. However, they did not. They were working on getting approval to hire and budget, and it got to a point whereI was not sure when they’d be able to send me an offer (and they weren’t sure either apart from a vague timeline).
Company B met with me 3 times. They hit points 1 and 5, and MAYBE 3. This company went through restructuring, so my boss and his boss are both new. My boss started 6 days before I did. His boss started 3 months ago. In the interview, my boss, who hadn’t started yet, gave me a good feeling. It seemed like we were very similar people actually and have a similar way of working. Company B has one main client, and is actually a subsidiary of that client’s parent company, so client is very collaborative and open to new ideas. The main opportunity I saw here was that because they were essentially rebuilding their main marketing channel, it was a chance to lay the groundwork for a process and program, and so, a great chance to grow quickly. That said, it was a concern because I know from my past that without existing structure I can start to get disorganized and wean off caring about doing good work. It can get messy very easily.
Company B wanted to move quick. I also wanted to move quick as I really needed to get out. I relayed my concerns to the people & culture SVP about structure, about how it’s kind of worrying that even my boss is new, and the overall vagueness with details. She was reassuring enough that I felt at ease. However, she almost pressured me to give them an answer about moving forward. I said I’ll get back to them in a couple of days. I let Company A know that I’ll need to hear back from them soon but that without anything on paper I will accept the offer I have. Company A said they’ll expedite and hoped for a couple more days to send an offer. They didn’t send an offer and I accepted Company B’s offer with an open mind.
I gave my two weeks notice and didn’t hear any updates from Company B about on-boarding or HR things until 2 days before I started. On my last day at my last job, Company A gave me a phone call and insisted they really still want to go forward and to keep in touch in a week or so to let them know if I was still interested. I said ok.
Company B sent me my laptop to get set up for my first day and it was both damaged and without my credentials, and without any of the required software that it was meant to come with. They sorted it out on my first day but honestly this gave me a bad first impression. The days since have been weird. My boss is still learning too so I legit have no direction yet on what I need to be responsible for. The workplace is quiet and kind of dull but friendly. The team feels silo’d and even though I’ve reached out to ask if I can help on something, I’ve basically got nothing. I’ve been using my time to get things organized as they make sense to, and to get acquainted with what’s ongoing and the client. Not really confused about anything as the work I’m anticipating seems familiar enough. But I’m bored. I don’t have any feeling of excitement with something new, and i’m used to being busy.
Am I jumping the gun with not giving this a chance, or just need to be patient? Is it just me being uncomfortable with change? Is it because I still have Company A poaching me, and me feeling pulled towards it? My job is important to me because it’s been an important source of stability and helpful for my self esteem and confidence over the last couple of years. I feel fearful of losing that.

I cannot make myself do anything. I used to be able to grit my teeth and force myself to power through, but this is no longer an ability I possess—and I am beyond tired of bullying myself into doing things I don’t want to.
But I am really struggling with the sense of having too many demands on me all the time, and then my ADHD brain totally rebels. The more I have to do the next day, the more I am likely to stay up until 4am binge watching the Gilmore Girls (again). I have always been so furious with myself to this—like, WHY? Just go to bed!! But in that moment I don’t care. I feel like I’m rebelling against something and it finally clicked.
I have big travel plans or houseguests every month from now until December. I feel so overwhelmed by this. I just want to run away into the woods and speak to no one. I can’t reply to texts. Even my bodily needs like eating and peeing feel oppressive sometimes. I just want to sit down and work on this song I’m writing or read my book or build a terrarium and I never get to. I always have to go eat food to survive or something, ugh.
I know I need to scale back my social obligations, and start saying no to people even if it disappoints them. But when it comes to things like going to bed or eating a meal, how do you overcome that toddlerebellious teenager (kind of the same thing haha) part of you that just says NO!?

New neighbor moved in next to and above me. We share a basement that has a plywood wall divider and door in the middle. I’m now nose-blind to it, but when I come back in or smell clothes that haven’t been in my closet, it’s there and as potent as ever. I’ve seen my neighbor once while I was getting in my car, and me shouting how’s it going and waving almost scared her to death (she seems tiny and old), haven’t seen her since. Got a whole new air purifier to try to deal, but it doesn’t pick up anything.
That being said, I light up my bong and smoke weed in my apartment twice a night, running two air purifiers and using a SmokeBuddy — there’s a match’s amount of smoke produced at most (yes, weed still smells and I’m certainly blind to it). I know this isn’t considerate, and this makes me scared to ask my neighboleave a note asking if there are any mothballs in the basement and if so could she seal them in containers. I’m embarrassed to have people over, a friend said it was like “burnt chemical BO” when he walked in at first, though it apparently got better as he stayed. I brought a hoodie from my living room to an event and left it in my car because it smelled so bad of mothball.
I asked two maintenance guys about it, both said they didn’t smell anything (but they also smoke cigarettes before jobs and didn’t notice the smell of the stain they were using a few months ago), and one said he’d check her basement to see if there’s anything wrong. Haven’t heard anything since.
What do I do? Just deal with my anxiety and leave a note/try to catch her outside to ask how the neighborhood is and if she’s noticed any smells? Make a maintenance request? I’ve opened every window for hours, but it’s still seeping in after they get closed. I can deal with her tiny dog barking all day, but this smell affects people who aren’t me, so I do want to address it. I’m probably moving in a few months, so maybe I just deal and hope it doesn’t travel with me. I just need someone else’s thoughts at this point.

To start it off.. I cannot stand the notification system. At all. I literally couldn’t care less about someone liking a comment.. who even checks that? It’s annoying when a comment blows up and thousands of people like it so the notifications are there in the app.. but what really ticks me off is that I used to have a filter option for the notifications and now it’s gone.. so I’m told that someone actually responded to me but I won’t be able to find it because the top half is just “x has liked this comment” and the bottom half are just a bunch of suggested pages that I also don’t care for.
Note I did turn off the options in the setting for notifications about people liking the comments but here we are. Just a bit of a rant.

First off I am a bad writer so I apologize. My husband has a weird obsession with his high school teacher. He is a 25 M and I am a 23 F . We are a transgender couple and both identify as the opposite gender we were assigned at birth. Meaning he is female to male and I am male to female . And slept with him in the past before I knew my husband. I knew this going into the relationship. But they hadn’t talked and a while and he was so loving and caring that I overlooked it and didn’t affect us at all other than he talked about him all the time at first. A few months back he started to talk to him again. Which bothered me some because my husband is obsessed with him and they have slept together before . I have met and never trusted this teacher. My husband even introduced us one time and the teacher pressured me to drink and got me and my husband drunk and lured him to his bedroom. He got on top on my husband and made advancements on him. I was drunk and angry and ended up hitting him in the face and we left. My husband continued to talk to him through calls and text after that night even when I asked him to stop . Well I was suspicious and read their text messages one morning. And what I saw shattered my heart . My husband offered to sleep with his old teacher . Not just that but offered me up to him to join them in like a threesome since the teacher also finds me really attractive and has made sexual comments about my body many times. And calls me hot all the time apparently. I confronted my husband about it and he tried to make up lies and excuses for it but he knew he was caught red handed. I almost left him but couldn’t bring myself to do it . I figured it wasn’t physical cheating so I should just give him another chance . Especially since he’s never done anything like this before. I also feel like I should mention that my husband is diagnosed with an obsession disorder. I don’t know if that excuses the actions or not . So I begged him to stop talking to him to and he refused to stop saying he can’t make himself do it because of his mental illness. But what’s worse is that when I got depressed from it and just wanted to sleep a lot after I found the messages for like a month . He got mad at me for being super depressed and just wanting to sleep and I told him why I was sad . And we talked about it few times . And on two different occasions he looked me in the eyes and told me he loves both of us!! I don’t like that I have to share my husband’s heart with someone else! Also o should also mention that the teacher has charges against him for grooming and trying to sleep with one of his stu who are underage and is currently doing court stuff with that!! My husband later said he didn’t mean any of it and that at the time he was just mentally sick . The teacher moved away due to the charges to get away from the town but my husband still talks to him through calls and texts even after begging him to stop. I don’t know if I should leave him for not respecting me or my marriage? What do yall think I should do?

I just really hate my poor social skills, I can’t even start to describe it. I feel like it’s only getting worse and worse as I age also. And I’m not sure how I’m ever gonna meet someone who can accept me and like me from who I am, it’s like the moment I become honest with them and share that I’m on the autistic spectrum their whole opinion about me changes instantly.
Why is it so bad to tell people I trust? It probably explains a lot of stuff they’ve been wondering about, but I’d just like to know what that would be as well although it’s hard, cause it could just help me sooo much to understand myself better and how I appear to people.
It also makes me so god damn insecure to be on the autistic spectrum that I don’t even know how to handle it anymore.
The fact that anything I say could come out totally wrong to people without I’m even aware of it makes me so anxious. I don’t really understand social cues like normal people before it’s too late. I have to analyze everything all the time and even then I still make mistakes. Most of the time I just stay silent now, but even that can be off putting to some people apparently. It’s like the things I don’t know about and therefore don’t ask about is the things that makes people annoyed with me, so how should I know?
And now this guy I’ve been dating for so long probably dumped me. It’s the closest I’ve come to an actual relationship for 3 years.
I feel like all hope for me and my social/romantic relationships are fading out and there’s nothing I can do about it.
It sucks even more to be a woman without friends or boyfriends because I feel so vulnerable alone and all people just judges me even more the fewer friends I have, thus making it nearly impossible to form new friendships for real.
Sorry for the rant…

"No Ben" Ben does exist, Peter has his bag with his name on it BFP/Ben Franklin Parker.
"No responsibility" He has a large amount of responsibility. This kid went into space to help Iron Man not cuz he's his "sidekick," but because he loves him and Peter Parker will never stand there and do nothing again after what happened to his Uncle Ben. If he had no responsibility he would not be The Spectacular Spider-Man. I'd say in a way that makes his sacrifice more substantial compared to the other Peter's he's been doing this since he was like what 13 or 14.
"Gets everything handed to him without struggle" His Uncle Ben Freaking Died, his Aunt May Freaking Died, his best friend Tony Stark/The Invincible Iron Man Freaking Died, His other Best friend doesn't remember him, Love you Ned, the love of his life doesn't even know he exist, and worst of all the ENTIRE world does remember all the sacrifice that Peter Parker made.
"More of an Iron Man sidekick than his own hero" Peter Parker is not Iron Man's sidekick. A LOT of people get this mixed up by not looking deeper than surface level. Peter never wanted to be Iron Man jr and Tony never meant for him to be. Tony was teaching Peter to be less of a "Spider-Man and more of a Spectacular Spider-Man." Notice how every time Peter asked Tony that he wants to be go on missions with the Avengers and to not look after the little guy, Tony said no stay close to the ground. Tony has always looked after the little guy after Ultron, and when he met Peter Parker, he saw a kid that was years ahead of the Avengers as a hero. He got what responsibility meant, and the Avengers were still learning what that meant, hell they even started a big ass fight over it. Tony taught Peter to be Peter, let him know that Peter Parker is enough you don't need to be Iron Man jr. He wanted him to carry on his legacy, being the shield around the planet. Tony Stark did what he did in Endgame, because of Peter Parker and his daughter Morgan. He left behind a legacy.
"No Mary Jane" Who cares that there isn't a Mary Jane, Michelle "MJ" Jones is closer to MJ than any other on screen MJ at least compared to the typical MJ, which is VERY inconsistent. Hell I'd say she's just as interesting as TASM Gwen who is just goat, but MJ is very close in my eyes. Plus if she makes Peter happy without weighing him down then I don't give a FUCK if she's not a red headed woman. Michelle "MJ" Jones is great.
"Canonically weakest Spider-Man" Weakest Spider-Man...so what he's a kid and his power is only going to grow. He's very much in the ballpark as his comic book counterpart. Plus his Spider-Sense is cool as fork.
"Cannot win a fight without help" Okay this one is just really cool to be. Peter is a kid that saw his Uncle taken away from him through violence and now he hates violence. Peter rarely threw a punch in any movie he was in compare his fight with Vulture to Mysterio and Green Goblin. Each fight has a bit more anger in it. Peter is always holding back, because he hates violence. In the comics he created his Web Shooters in order to take bad guys down without using violence. He's a kind hearted person and that's what makes him Spectacular.
"Probably a virgin" What the hell???
"Lame theme song" His theme is pretty freaking cool and I love how they use it as a light motif throughout his journey as Spider-Man.
"No good swinging scenes" I don't know about y'all, but I freaking loved his final swing in Far From Home; but after seeing The Amazing Spider-Man Web Swing nothing is the same after.
"Needed to rely on Tobey and Andrew for success" So??? And Tobey and Andrew needed to rely on the Comics for success.
"No real world struggles" He's a kid getting through High school is enough for him. And his family was clearly still broke, you can find hints if you look hard enough.
"Short" So, Tom Holland is my favorite Spider-Man still. Peter has never been tall, just average.

I have a very unique opinion that’s definitely never been said on the internet before: I would never date a tran.
I’m sick and tired of wokeists telling me I have to date trans people otherwise I will be put in jail and sentenced to death. Just the other day someone put a gun to my head and forced me to sign up for Tinder and actively seek out pre-op tranners. I have a genital preference for vagines and I feel I am being oppressed by society because they keep forcing me to date trannies.
I definitely don’t think about trans people at all, they just make it their whole personality and won’t let me live my life without reminding me of their existence. I have never once seen anyone post any negative journalism or commentary about trans people ever and it’s definitely only the blue haired alphabet people that are forcing me to think about them.
Further, yes I jerk off to trans porn but that’s just a fantasy. As soon as I cum I am disgusted with myself and immediately have the sexes with at least 5 real woman to redeem myself.
AITA?

The initial plan was doing a PhD and hoping for a position as a professor eventually, but I’ve been talking to people in academia and the future seems a bit bleak.
I do love this subject, but I’m afraid it’ll a be a very low ROI degree.
For context: I have a BA in Business and have been working in marketing for about 5 years. I don’t like it. I have always loved the social sciences, but seems like if I won’t be going the PhD route, I’ll most likely end up back in… marketing.
Thoughts?

I have an old boy who’s about 14. He’s happy as a clam but he’s voiding all throughout the house. He’ll use a pile of dirty clothes over his clean litterbox. He’s technically my mom’s cat and she wants to put him down but he’s completely healthy otherwise even for his age. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to see him put down

I made a post a few weeks ago about Eddie. Three years ago, I befriended “Eddie” on vacation. I liked him, and he liked me. He confided in the wrong people about his crush on me, and I found out. However, Eddie actually had a girlfriend, and cut contact with me. He was friends with mostly everyone else on social media except me. I never really got any closure or resolution around this situation. Eddie and I never spoke after the trip. So for years, I’ve always wondered about how he really felt about me.
Eddie and his girlfriend broke up two months later, but he never tried contacting me. I kind of suspected that he looked at my TikTok videos, but I also know that for months after, he wasn’t over his ex. This situation happened during the height of the pandemic, so while I knew it would be best to move on, I couldn’t. If this situation happened at any other time, I likely would’ve forgotten Eddie within a couple of weeks or months. But classes were online. I couldn’t meet anyone. For a good year, I had feelings for Eddie, but again, nothing ever came of it.
This past summer, I was heartbroken over another failed crush. I was just going through a lot in general, and I spent most of my days high on drugs. I posted TikTok videos about heartbreak and depression. Sometimes I’d post five TikToks in a night. Sometimes, I’d reupload these videos. I don’t know why. I guess I was bored. And while I still wondered about Eddie, I didn’t think he ever looked my social media.
Little did I know, Eddie saw me posting these videos online, and contacted our friends. He asked them to see if I was posting anything else on my Instagram, which is private. Nothing’s happened since then, but I’m wondering why Eddie cares. I don’t think Eddie is this evil sociopath or anything, but it’s not like he showed me any care or consideration back then when he actually hurt me. So why? Is this some misguided way of absolving himself of guilt?

First let me step on my soap box and say this idea that in the “past” women stayed home is BS ok! My grandmother left school at 13yr and went to work in a Cotton Mill for the next 45yrs and she’s not alone women have always worked. They might have been prevented from acquiring higher education are unable to obtain jobs in certain fields, but women still worked in and out of the home.
That being said this idea that certain Christians push about women must lean into their “vocation” is narrow minded BS! Women can work and have kids and be happy (especially if their spouses help them 😉) . We can not have kids and be happy and we can stay at home and be happy . We have multiple paths we can take and nobody is telling anybody not to choose one over the other. We certainly. Don’t need to hear from a guy who signed a $20,275,000 5yr contract with a $3,500,000 signing bonus how happy is wife is staying at home 🙄.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/columnist/mike-freeman/2024/05/15/harrison-butker-commencement-speech/73682471007/

Hi everyone, I've been on YouTube for a while now, my account is probably older than some YouTubers have been alive even, it's crazy to think how much Youtube has changed the world and that so many young Gen Z people today don't remember life before Youtube. But anyways, I'm looking to start making my channel active on YouTube and had some questions for everyone, I appreciate anyone who engages in good faith.
-What is the best recommended video editing software to use that is free and also takes into account a simple and understandable interface? I'm not a complete novice, I've used different things before but I don't have a lot of advanced experience like professionals who work on big budget films or anything and I don't actively edit. I'm sure technology for video editing software has continued to evolve over time and I have fallen behind the times, what's all the good new stuff nowadays? I'm just a normal tech savvy-ish person. Just looking for something that has depth and good features to it but not too overwhelming to where the advanced features become more of a distraction rather than anything else. (This question hits two birds with one stone too because I'm a teacher who needs to choose a software to use for editing video clips together for the school I work for as well.)
-I have been on YouTube for a while now, my account was made in 2006 and I have only sporadically uploaded over the years with no goal in mind other than to just upload for fun. I uploaded a couple of videos of talks with celebrities in 2021 got some nice view numbers from 10k-70k (imo as a non-active channel with just 350something subs). Should I continue uploading on my personal account or start from a brand new account? I was thinking to myself, does my account's longevity help with anything at all? Or the videos I just mentioned? I even have a video that was uploaded in 2006. Would audiences care about the old stuff or just new stuff? The thing is too, I know Youtubers get hacked too the more well known you become and if one day (I don't mean to be presumptuous here either by implying I know I will be well known or not, it's just me thinking ahead and being ready) but if I get hacked one day, that in and of itself will suck but I think about all my personal content on YouTube that I've added over the years that I don't want to lose or private videos i don't want others to see out there. This would technically be at risk too. Anyways, these are just some thoughts I've had, I'm wondering what best practices would be. Just make that new channel or maybe move all my personal things into a new channel and make my "old channel" the "new channel".
-Reality is I get busy, I don't plan on starting this project until I'm in a lifestyle where I'm allowed to put in the grind and hours of being a youtuber but if in the event I get a following and then I need to take a break or anything what should I do? Does your momentum suddenly stop and subscribers just leave on their own after not seeing you for a while or do they stick around?
-What's the best thing I should do to work the algorithm in my favor? In terms of best practices when uploading a video, being searchable, and what I should tell subscribers to do when watching? beyond basic hashtags I suppose or hitting like, commenting, and subscribing like everyone else says.
-I think most people will say it's good to have a specific brand or concept/idea for your channel but what if I personally want some variety? (like vlogging, podcasting, video game plays, unboxings, reviews, etc.) Is this just a non-negotiable to just pick one thing and stick to it?
-Should I think about my target audience or just do what I want and leave it to the people to decide if my stuff is good and relevant to them?
-At what point do you start making money from Youtube and this becomes a professional career as opposed to just a hobby? Is it based on views and such? How do you get paid? Is there any extra signing up I have to do beyond just having my YouTube account? Money isn't a huge motivating factor, i don't expect Logan Paul or Mr.beast numbers but it'd be nice to know that making videos could become modest side income or regular income in the future too.
Thank you everyone for your help

I’ve posted before about this, but I’m PIMO and have been dealing with one PIMI brother who is driving me nuts. I go into a state of panic when I see him because he is so annoying and is constantly putting people on the spot.
I automatically tense up and become less friendly when he’s around because I hate him. I genuinely can’t tell if he’s amused by making me uncomfortable, or a clueless idiot who thinks he’s doing something good. Either way I’m fed up and am concerned that if he keeps bothering me I might chew him out or yell at him, and then I’m the bad guy. I really just want to be left alone.
He doesn’t pick up on body language or other social cues (or ignores them) and I want to have the moral high ground so that he doesn’t go crying to the elders when I tell him to piss off. Any ideas of scriptures or JW teachings I could use to just get him to give me some space?? I feel like I’m being smothered and I’m nearing my breaking point. Being PIMO is hard enough without an irritating caricature of the most annoying JW stalking me.

I had a rich boss once - that was only rich because of the wealth from his (Grand)Parents. Guy was a complete and utter moron. He made nonsensical financial decisions and burned through hundreds of thousands of Dollars in completely avoidable mistakes. But because he had money from his ancestors he just shrugged of these losses and continued.
He had also only but the faintest idea about his company or how to lead or keep employees. I was bascially keeping the company together. As such I was the Nay-sayer that blocked 90% of his stupid plans and decisions. Due to my "negativity" I was fired.
The guy was also arrogant as hell because he had a Masters and PhD in economics. I though "no way in hell can this guy have a Masters/PhD hes so damn stupid". So I searched for his Masters and PhD thesis - went to the University library - and what a surprise on the second page I examined I found a text passage without citation. After like 40 minutes I found another 10 passages he copied without citation. I spent only some 20 Minutes examining his PhD thesis and found already 2 cases.
I made pictures of the text passages he copied and the books from where he took them and wrote an anonymus Email to the University. A year later he lost both his Masters and PhD because of his plagiarism. I know this from people that still work with him because he exploded - the university just thanked me but told me they cant provide further info due to data protection.
So either he had a ghost writer write it for him who didnt care - or he just copied and thought he would never be cought. He wrote both in the 80s.
Chances are many Masters and PhD theses from these times are plagiarised because there were less possibilities to check. After all imagine its 1985 and you are at the University of Chicago and during a trip to Miami you visit the library and write of a thesis there. If you change the title, there is almost a 0 chance that you will ever be caught.
So if you have stupid bosses/people around you with a degree that are older and did you wrong - it might be worth your time to check their thesis

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/Marriage/s/YlSDQ4nogk
I wanted to give you guys an update of how the therapy session with my wife went this week. Not sure if this is helpful or not but I took many of the responses/comments/suggestions from my initial post and put together some things I wanted to discuss with our couples therapist to help us navigate some of the core issues that may be affecting this situation.
One of the main things that is the "buzz word" of this has been the term "resentment" and it has been really eating me up inside knowing my wife keeps telling me she doesn't know why she's resentful or doesn't know why this is affecting her emotionally/mentally. I brought this up with our therapist once again and resurfaced the conversation about being married for so long (15yrs) and being together since we ere 14yrs old. Our long history of growing up and how having children when she was 19yrs old (me 20) significantly changed the trajectory of our lives. We experience sever poverty and many hardships in the process and we essentially had zero social life for the past 10 years because we were so busy raising babies (2 kids now ages 12 &14). She followed up with tons of questions directly mostly at my wife about her feelings towards this and 90% of the responses were very "our kids" focused. It definitely felt like she was afraid of saying "yes it sucked" because she would feel guilt or shame because it would imply she regrets the kids. I mentioned this in the session and the therapist encouraged her to look at this outside of the lens of being a mother and to try to view it a bit more selfishly and individually and it was very eye opening. My wife mentioned that she was very frustrated with the fact that we did miss out on many things in life. She also was very clear in saying "I do not think I missed out on other partners or dating or partying but I certainly lost all my friends." This was huge because one of the big pieces that has caused a strain in our lives is how silo'd and isolated we've been (again busy raising kids). I followed up by reminding her that it's important to have good friends and to make time for herself and her friendships.
For the past 3+ years, we've had multiple conversations about friends and how it is important to have them in life. Specially when you have similar peers that can help in many areas of life that perhaps we have no experience navigating and even simply for enjoyment. It has always been something my wife avoids, even though she's always been someone who needs that external stimuli. The main reason for her not investing in friends or even herself has always been "the kids." Like I mentioned earlier in this post, 90% of the answers have to relate to "the kids" to some degree.
At this point in our session I started to feel like there was a common denominator (the kids) in most of the frustrations and problems she was experiencing. So I simply asked her "Do you think you may be upset at me because I'm responsible for these kids in the sense that I got you pregnant so young?" I wasn't ready but she said that she was upset at me for that. She also followed up with the fact that she knows that's unreasonable because it "takes 2 to tango." I did feel like it was progress because it kind of gave us something to work on and help alleviate some of these "burdens" so we agreed to invest more time in nurturing good friendships both together and individually.
Towards the end of the session, we began to discuss what actionable items we would take from this session. At this point, it was still all very ambiguous and blurry as to what the outcomes were. I was very direct and very forward in asking my wife what her plan is moving forward. (NOTE: I had decided prior to the session that should my wife say the same thing about being a coparenting roommate that I would take the 180 approach and essentially do me) She started basically saying the same thing, that she doesn't have any desire to be intimate or sexual with me as of now and that she loves me immensely and she feels bad for not being there for me (as mentioned in my first post).
I also brought up the brief swinging that happened, to which for the 50th time said it wasn't a problem. I agree with her on this. This was something that was a "mechanical" approach for a solution to a problem that was very much in existent when we tried this. We (both) really have no issue to this. We know it happened, we tried it and mutually stopped and turned the page.
I also brought up other life events that may cause resentment and really we ended up not getting anywhere else as far as the root for resentment which was discouraging.
I then basically expressed to my wife that I will not be ok with that arrangement. I told her that I've really done everything I can and that this issue really has reached a point where it has nothing to do with me or require me to do anything that I'm currently not doing. I was very direct and saying that I will not be accepting this dynamic and that I need to be with someone who is actively involved in our marriage, works towards resolutions and is very much interested in maintaining an active intimacy and sexual relationship. I expressed how I am not going to be a "convenience" and that there was more to life than being roommates and coparents. I made sure she knows I love her dearly and that I do want this to work for the better. I also told her that I'm fully committed to this marriage so long as she is as well and that is she wasn't, its ok, however I will not be a part of something where these efforts are not reciprocated. I told her I have no plans of leaving, and I do not want a divorce, however, I made it clear that if this dynamic continues that divorce will be the only outcome.
Of course tears were involved and it was a very bleak and sad ending to the session. Still nothing was said and I walked out very discouraged and very determined to start working on the 180 as soon as we left the room. It's painful and very difficult because much of the 180 requires you to be very short and cold and transactional. The saddest part is realizing, this dynamic already is very cold and transactional.
Here is where it gets VERY interesting. I started working on implementing many of the 180 recommendations that same day. I mentioned to my wife that, "hey, things are going to be a bit different moving forward. I'm going to honor her roommate/coparent dynamic without reproach and that it should be no mistake that I am not happy here and I am never going to be ok with it but I am done working on it if she wasn't going to work on it." She agreed and went to bed. I started to build distance and started to basically focus on myself. Very short and transactional. She asked for help on some of her personal things to which I declined and it really shocked her. She was upset saying I was being petulant. I explained to her that, she is now fully in charge of her own life and her own issues. We didn't talk all day and we only spoke when necessary. Few days I keep this going and she's very visibly upset and stressed. I typically react to that with gestures of help or nurturing but I didn't this time. That night she was crying telling me she's stressed and she things something is wrong with me because I'm "indifferent." I simply listened, then I told her that this is the dynamic she proposed and that I'm simply (much like her) taking care of myself and focusing on myself. I'm not going to lie, it has been VERY hard to be cold and distant because as I mentioned before, I love her and I wish I could hold her and love on her. However, I know this is somewhat manipulative in a way just to get her way and still keep me in the friendzone. So I've been staying the course.
We're now going on a week of this 180 and let just say, there has been MANY changes on her side. I think she is starting to realize there is more to me than just "friends and coparenting." I sent her a text a few days ago essentially itemizing bills and separating the financial responsibilities 50/50 and SHE LOST HER SHIT. She basically told me it was "out of left field" to which I responded "hey, friends go in 50/50 and as your friend I expect nothing less." This was very eye opening because it gave me a glimpse of I'm really taken for granted and how her level of comfort and convenience at my expense is really overlooked. I pushed through anyways and basically told her that this is the new dynamic she asked for and that its still a "bargain" because she would have to be 100% if she was on her own.
I'll wrap up with this. While the 180 has been working in many different areas, I am still very much sad about the overall situation. There have been MANY eye opening statements being said and realization that have not been pleasant to encounter. It has also sparked new energy and new efforts on her side as well. She's definitely seeking to talk to me more often and while its hard to turn down, I hope if things improve, this continues to happen. I've also noticed that she's making more time for herself aside from being a mom which is HUGE because she pretty much neglected herself for years. I'm very pleased seeing her be more herself. My hope is that as we work on ourselves, the marriage improves. There really is no telling at this point where this will go. We are very much cordial and amicable even to this day and that's a very good sign. Boundaries are set and expectations are very clear and I feel that no matter the outcome, I will be at peace with everything that has been done. We're still going to continue the couples therapist until we either rekindle our marriage or end up in divorce. I feel like having this nonbiased third party really helps as a witness and as a guide through this. No matter what I will always love my wife, however, I will not participate in a sexless, intimacy less marriage because we both deserve better.
Thank you all for all the kind words and recommendations and feedback. This will be my last post on this topic and I wish you all the best.
TL;DR: My wife friend-zoned me wants to just coparent at my expense but I started the 180 method to try and find a solution because she doesn't want to work on us which seems to be working on getting her out of her rut and helping me discover more about how she feels. Also, therapy is paramount and highly recommend to all couples.

Ok, I realize I’m one of those rare people who don’t have a cell phone glued to me 24x7, but it gets to be annoying having to carry it around because everything you do, your forced to use it. Go to a concert- need to carry it to show your ticket. Going to an event where you need to walk around all day - need to show your ticket. Need to log into a website- need to go find your phone for the 10 authorization codes they send you. Just something else I have to carry around and worry about losing. Give me a paper ticket any day and I don’t need multi factor authentication