Lose weight with moong

Someone asked about reasons for my ED and it got me thinking. This post is way too long for a comment so I’ve made it a post. It is probably very triggering as it’s about my eating disorder also mentions sexual assault, self harm and suicide.
I was a gymnast 16-20 hours a week, I could eat what I wanted and stay thin. I think it started around 14. A group of girls I use to hang around with at lunch time didn’t eat lunch, it never occurred to me I could do that. Soon turned into one meal or no food, plus 3-4 hours of intense exercise. I liked the way it felt. To have my uniform hang off me, the lightness. I felt small and hidden. I was very shy, hardly ever spoke and just wanted to fit in, luckily I was never bullied (not by my peers at least, the emotional abuse at home was horrendous). The thinner I got, people started gravitating towards me and I didn’t even realise, I never had many friends before that. But I was also still anxious, I didn’t feel good enough at gymnastics. I was scared of failure, especially at school. I wanted to be perfect. I think hitting puberty was also a reason, I hated having breasts and hips they made my leotard feel too revealing. I found my period inconvenient, I wanted it to stop. I remember changing for PE and wanting to hide my body. But I look back at photos and I was skeletal. I think I also liked the attention which I didn’t get at home, it was more just looks from teachers, they never said anything but they were kind to me. But in my head I thought maybe if I get really skinny, they’ll like me, talk to me. I loved Matilda as a child and wanted a mom like miss honey, to show affection and love me lol. Ahh that’s sad. I didn’t feel loved by my parents.
Things broke down at home even more, it had been a messy divorce and constant custody issues with my parents since I was 4, my dad was going through his second divorce now and blamed his kids, me. One night he was drunk/high and he became violent. I think that broke a part of me.
I was one of the older girls at gymnastics by now (15-16) I felt huge compared to most of the younger girls and my focus was on the older ones, who were very thin and delicate. I never felt delicate, just massive. Looking back there were girls bigger than me, strong beautiful women. I also didn’t have the energy and said I wanted to focus on school, which I guess had some truth, so I quit. By now I was being asked what I wanted to do for a career. I had no idea. I never thought about the future but a science teacher suggested medicine. I enjoyed science the most so went with it. Grades were very celebrated in my family and being praised felt good, I didn’t want to let anyone down.
Quitting gymnastics meant I could no longer eat as much, I wasn’t exercising as much, right? So I would go days without eating but I would still exercise, go for long runs at night. I started abusing laxatives at this time because I had started binge eating. Then I started college, I was drunk and carried off by a man and SA’d. I had been assaulted before as a child but that didn’t seem to affect me at the time. I didn’t even realise until I was older. I told a councillor and she said you got drunk and regretted it. It was my fault, I thought, I was drunk. But I told him to stop. He physically carried me to secluded place. I remember reaching to grab someone’s hand and they giggled. I started self harming, it became an addiction. I would cry all the time, argue with my mom. I remember being hit over and over by her and dissociating for the first time, it was so scary (and crazy to think about, we would argue about absolutely nothing, she was so horrible when I was a child and I have no idea why). I got kicked out a few times. I was spiralling, past abuse came to the surface and nothing made sense, I think this was the first time I wanted to die at 16. I drank and slit my wrists. But it wasn’t deep enough. I can’t remember what happened after, my mom never found out. My goal was to get to university so I could move out. I would go through periods of recovery, eating normal, especially over breaks from school when I was home all the time with my sister and mum. But at school, I still skipped breakfast and lunch, I spent all my free time in the library hiding from groups of people. People that would be eating. I was withdrawn.
I made it to university, I didn’t get into medicine. I had the grades but got no offers at first. Then I received an interview shortly after results were published (usually interviews are offered before finals and based on the condition you get the grades needed). This was my one shot. Unfortunately, I had a panic attack in the interview and left. I went with my second choice instead, no interview was required. I felt like a failure. I had failed. Living alone (away from parents) meant my ED was in full force now. I could avoid eating all together, I could binge and purge whenever and self harm. I remember my flatmate asking me one drunken night about an entire tub of ice cream that had gone and I told her. Her response was you’re not that skinny so it’s okay. I was shook, lol. I had terrible anxiety, which just got worse. I struggled to make friends. Lectures made me panic, too many people. I saw a doctor for depression/anxiety but avoided telling them about my ED, I didn’t want them to make me stop. I tried medication but it just got worse, I said my goodbyes but was then taken to the hospital. I was referred to a psychiatrist who told me I had BPD. I started stronger medication, antipsychotics and they really messed me up. I got worse, withdrew from all friendships (they always wanted to go out and eat or drink, but that was too many calories). I threw myself into studying and passed all my exams. I was never overweight or underweight during this time (compared to my gymnast days) but my eating was very disordered.
Back home, again. Struggling to get a job because interviews made me panic, how am I meant to say you should pick me, when I feel like shit? I would overdose a couple more times (I don’t know how I’m here), got treated in the hospital, all without nobody knowing. I would overdose and then go to work like nothing happened. I still felt like a failure, I wasn’t using my degree. Life felt empty, boring. What was the point? I had to do this for another 50+ years? No thank you. Tried all kinds of medications but nothing seemed to work or I would gobble them all up and then not have anymore so would just have to withdraw. I finally got a job with my degree but was so depressed, I stopped going, I didn’t get out of bed. I had an argument with my mom, I got kicked out and overdosed in my car. I was vomiting the pills up (they were so bitter) and was taken to hospital after talking to a suicide hotline. This was the first time she found out. I moved in with my brother and felt insanely guilty, a burden on him. He had a daughter too, my niece, and I didn’t want to affect her. He is so kind, I remember him making tea for me and my niece and there were no arguments at the dinner table. He is very athletic/health conscious too, and didn’t have any binge foods around the house. I never b/p during this time but still restricted. I managed to get myself together and got a job. It was the first job I could hold down. I saved up and got my own place. I stayed in that role for 7 years. I did have times when I would relapse binge-purge-restrict but I truly think that job saved my life in a way. I felt valued, I was helping other people. I opened up to my coworkers a little and they shared their experiences with SA and eating disorders (I never told them about mine, I couldn’t talk about it, but they helped me so much by being open and kind). A coworkefriend once told me how I looked so much healthiehappier now and that I was too thin when I started (it didn’t trigger me, she was being nice). She probably doesn’t remember but she had noticed. Sure my family was always commented how I was skinny, but nobody else ever said anything. Someone had noticed.
I recently looked at some old photos from Covid times and was shocked how swollen my cheeks and face was. I went through a period of being very bulimic. b/p every day (I would puke into a bucket in the shower until it was almost full) a particularly low point was when I was actually b/p at work or in public toilets. It has always been something I’d done at home. I was still depressed. Eventually, I started looking into psychedelics and it did help a little however things were bad where I lived, my neighbours were bullying me over parking, which just escalated for no reason, they would spit on my door and damage my car, which affected me quite a bit. Other neighbours had moved out because of them. After Covid, I moved into my car. It was cramped lol. I moved back to my mums after a panic attack. I remember going to a hen do with my friends from high school. Alcohol and not being able to relate to any of them (and being back home) triggered me badly. I overdosed. My mom found me and called the ambulance. I remember the paramedics gasping at my body, I was bones and felt proud about it. I escaped the hospital and carried on. I did see another psychiatrist who I told about my ED. The medical notes make me laugh, I told her my weight as being 60KG I have no idea why or what I weighed, I’m 5’7 and she comments something like ‘unlikely, pt wearing baggy jumper, eating disorder’ ah confirmation at last. It’s not in my head?
Found myself a new place and here I am. I haven’t b/p for 3 years now, I’m 30, but I have taken up smoking and barely eat. Im struggling to find joy in anything lately. Talking to other people is hard. My weight is dropping fast and that feels good. I think I’m always a bit curious how much I can lose, sometimes I just seem to ‘recover’ and eat relatively normal. I still feel like a failure and unloveable/unlikeable. I don’t have any friends (there are people who talk to me but I never know why, I think I fear rejection and being hurt). I just don’t feel connected to anything except my ED, it’s the only thing that comforts me. I haven’t been intimate with anyone since being SA’d and just feel too embarrassed about it, embarrassed about my body in general, if I’m a normal weight I feel too fat, if I’m underweight I feel too boney. The worst part is that people are so much nicer to me when I’m restricting. It fucks with my head. I’m just kind of waiting to die in a way, I don’t feel sad about it. It’s easier to carry on doing what I’m doing than to attempt again. I’m scared it won’t work or I’ll end up in a worse position. I also don’t want to upset my family.
Idk maybe you can relate? Does any of this make sense. I’m not very articulate sorry, but that felt good to get off my chest.

I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and I want to ask about starting weight loss medications but I don't know how to bring it up or if she will say no we've discussed weight loss surgery before but she wanted me to try to lose weight on my own first but I haven't been as successful as I wanted to be so how did you go about it

Let me give you some context. In 2018 I joined twitter and I discovered my husbands “likes” and women he was following. I also saw all his comments on their posts (sexually commenting on their bodies.) Seeing his thoughts in black and white on other naked women broke something in me and I instantly felt betrayed, cheated on and not loved at all. My self confidence went in the toilet after that. I felt like he was living out fantasies and a double life. I always knew he looked at porn, but the comments and the fact that you can dm twitter users makes the women so much more “real” than just a porn actress who does it for a living. After this I became hyper sexualized, wearing slutty outfits, wanting sex more, because I just felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, sexy enough, etc. We talked about his twitter use and I asked him to please not follow or comment on any women that post sexually explicit photos and videos because it felt like he was rubbing it in my face. I kind of bottled up my feelings for the sake of our marriage and because I love him but I never got over it and I don’t fully trust him, but I put it out of my mind. We spent the majority of 2023 losing weight. He lost 100 lbs and I love 45. I was never really that overweight but now I’m in the best shape since I was 20 and I look really great and so does he. We have sex 5-6 times a week and both feel better about it because we are so much thinner. However I’m still majorly insecure and have terrible self esteem. He is still looking at naked people on twitter. He says he does it because it feels more real to him than watching porn hub. They are real people and not scripted. This doesn’t make me feel better at all, in fact that statement made me feel so much worse. Does real mean more attainable to him? I don’t know. The people he looks at look nothing like me at all. I’m blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and fair skin. I’m thin but have curves. They are usually brunettes or women with pink or other colored hair. He also went as far as downloading telegram because it was on some bimbos linktree. To me I felt like it was more than just looking at photos. You liked someone and it prompted you to download a messaging app to see more. He didn’t message anyone, but the fact that he downloaded it hurt my feelings, what was his intention. Was he going to start messaging this woman? I’m so confused because he tells me all the time how much he loves me, how beautiful I am and how fucking hot I am (his words) and he is also very supportive and caring. But even with my supposed hotness and us having lots of sex he is still on Twitter looking at naked women daily. Like WTF!! I know this because I checked his phone the other day (I know it was wrong and I shouldn’t do it, but I did it anyway.) I literally do not know what to think or how to feel. He doesn’t know I know and when I made a general comment about him still looking at porn, he lied right to my face with not even a pause or care in the world. So my question, do I trust what he tells me in person and how he treats me when we are together (which is great) and let him have his dirty secret about looking at naked women daily or should I be right not to trust him at all. Is he actually not happy with me and our marriage but we’ve been married 20 years so he pretends he is happy and loving but would prefer one of these twitter women? I know men think porn is normal and fine but it destroys their significant other and ruins marriages often. Advice??

Serious question (US based)
How do I become upper class?
CONTEXT: My family grew up middle class in an upper middle class neighborhood. I remember feeling ashamed because my friends would vacation to Europe every summer or other exotic destinations while I spent my summers working, and my only "vacation" was to go to the local public pool.
I've been out of college for a year now and have been able to take some short vacations within the US, which has been nice. However I still work in retail making a very low salary and my parents have given me a deadline to move out soon. I'm well aware that what I make is NOT a liveable salary, at least in the part of the country where I live.
I've been applying to jobs for almost two years and have gotten the occasional interview or phone screen but have not landed a single offer. I majored in a liberal arts degree but changed my mind on my ideal career path at a point where I was already stuck in my degree. I'd love to work in business but have already been rejected from all the firms in my area, not just the top ones (all without even getting an interview). I've been applying to jobs daily but I know I need a way to earn more money if I need to start supporting myself soon. I've even signed up for a side gig just to supplement my current job but am still waiting to get approved.
I've thought about becoming a gold digger (I am female) or starting an OnlyFans, although I can't quite overcome my conscience to do the latter, and I am too fat to be the former (I have PCOS and have struggled with my weight my whole life). I am currently learning to watch my diet and calories and working on losing weight, but I am currently well over my ideal weight and am only losing weight at a very slow rate which means it will be several years before I am down to a healthy weight.
Now for the good news.
For one, because I grew up surrounded by the upper middle class, I am familiar to some extent of the aesthetic of that class (although it is very different from my own personal style). I don't know some of the really boujee etiquette things like the different types of forks and what not (tbh being so concerned that someone's using a salad fork to eat steak or whatever is stupid. A fork is a fork.)
Because I went to an affordable public college, I graduated debt free, which is huge. I also graduated with a very good GPA and scored fairly highly on both undergraduate and graduate school standardized exams.
I also have a few different credit cards that I use responsibly and don't spend beyond my means (for the most part). I always pay my cards off in full every month and have a FICO credit score of about 770.
I try to diversify my portfolio, and of my savings I've accumulated so far, just under 10% is in a mutual fund, about 25% is in my 401k with company match, and the rest is in a high yield traditional savings account. With every paycheck, I contribute 10% to my 401k and an additional 10-25% into my savings account (I aim for 25% since I still live at home and have fewer expenses right now, but some months it's less).
It's hard because I've tried looking online for advice as far as how to become wealthy and I feel like I'm doing everything right - I went to college, I got good grades, I save a lot, I have no debt, I don't spend beyond my means, I've even tried going above and beyond to show my dedication in my job search by cold emailing recruiters at companies I'd be interested in (especially those who were alumni of my school), writing personalized cover letters, etc. and yet here I am stuck in my barely-above-minimum-wage soul-sucking retail job with a clock ticking over my head that I don't have much time to somehow find something that provides a liveable wage / move up in class so I can move out of my parents house. In addition, I don't really have the money to immerse myself into affluent circles by joining expensive country clubs, etc. (and even if I did, I feel like I would be judged and dismissed because I'm a fat woman), so that severely limits any opportunities to network or rub shoulders with the rich.
I know this is a very long post so thank you if you made it all the way to the end. I would really appreciate any sincere advice on how to move up in socioeconomic status, find a better paying job, etc. thank you ♥️

I apologize for the length, I want to give context of my whole journey. I tagged this as a question because I am legitimately lost, but it is also a bit of a rant.
I have had sleep problems since I can remember and I have always had a hard time sleeping at night. When I was about 20 I was diagnosed as having bipolar 2. None of the meds seemed to work very well so I continued research into my symptoms and found narcolepsy. I was surprised that it wasn't what I believed it to be (people who spontaneously fall asleep no matter what they are doing) but it checked way more of my symptoms than bipolar did. (insomnia at night, fragmented sleep, constant fatigue, constant naps, constant vivid dreams, sleep paralysis, etc)
After speaking to a doctor I scheduled a sleep study, and during the initial consultation the doctor was super unprofessional. He was openly flirting with my mom while basically bragging that he was "THE sleep specialist". My mom asked if narcolepsy could co-exist with bipolar disorder or if it better explained my struggles. At this point the doctor said that they are completely different things and that if I already got a bipolar diagnosis then a sleep study would basically be pointless but we could give it a shot anyway.
Before the study, he told me that absolutely under no circumstances was I allowed to fall asleep between MSLT naps because it would invalidate the results. During the MSLT I did everything I could to not sleep. I ended up spending a lot of the day pacing up and down the long hallway in the office so that I didn't fall asleep. When I went over the results with the doctor he told me that my average latency was about 4.5 minutes and that I had multiple SOREMPs (I don't remember how many. He clearly stated that while my symptoms looked like narcolepsy, I didn't have cataplexy and I didn't fall asleep during the time between naps on my MSLT which is something a "real" narcoleptic would do.
Ultimately he told me that even though my symptoms "looked like" narcolepsy, he "wouldn't touch my treatment with a ten foot pole" (his exact words) because if I DID have bipolar disorder, then the treatment for narcolepsy might send me into a manic episode that he "didn't want to be liable for".
Not knowing enough at the time to advocate for myself, I decided to keep getting treatment for bipolar. I quit taking the meds after trying a bunch of stuff.
Years later, after having a family, working a desk job, and gaining weight that I don't have the energy to lose, I decided that I was miserable and sought treatment for bipolar again, and once again the meds didn't help all that much. They had the added benefit of making me gain even more weight. At some point I ended up back on the narcolepsy research train and decided, again, that my symptoms were more completely explained by a sleep disorder. I worked with my doctor to get off of the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers to try a treatment plan that more closely resembled treatment for a hypersomnia disorder.
Once I had some small semblance of regulated wake/sleep cycles, my depression and mood issues evaporated almost instantly. Unless my sleep is messed with, I don't have any kind of depression or irritability.
I got a referral to a sleep specialist who told me during the consultation that my symptoms were "textbook narcolepsy" and scheduled me for a study. I failed to qualify for the MSLT because I didn't sleep enough during my PSG, and because I was ever so slightly over the limit on my arousal events for apnea. Part of this is because I am overweight, and part of it is because it was spring and I have allergies.
The doctor I had a consult with had left the practice in the six months between my initial consult. Another doctor read my results and said that I have apnea from being fat and that I need a cpap and to lose weight. At my follow up appointment I didn't get to speak to a doctor, but a PA. She said that my API was so barely over the threshold that my apnea was likely due to my weight. She asked about my symptoms and why I thought I had narcolepsy. When I described everything she told me that I clearly just have insomnia and need to try cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia. She also told me that my medications were basically how they treat narcolepsy anyway and that she didn't understand why I wanted a diagnosis despite the fact that I cannot take sunosi, xyrem, xywav, or several other medications without some kind of hypersomnia diagnosis. She basically said that those meds wouldn't help me anyway, or at least not more than what I am currently taking (lunesta and vyvanse).
This was last June.
Frustrated, I decided to seek a second opinion with another sleep clinic. I FINALLY had the appointment this past week. This office did not have the results from my last test, and they didn't have me fill out basically any paperwork. Once again I got a PA, not a doctor. She told me that if I wanted to try the PSG again that I needed to get my circadian rhythm normalized so I should try light therapy. I have tried light therapy and it didn't. I have tried just about everything short of xyrem or other narcolepsy specific meds.
I don't even know what to do at this point. Even with lunesta and vyvanse I am so tired that I can barely function at work some days. I certainly don't have enough energy to exercise. I still have fragmented sleep, and I still have constant and intense vivid dreams. Light therapy did nothing for me, and when I looked it up almost everything I read said that it is not a suitable treatment for narcolepsy.
How am I supposed to reign in a circadian rhythm that basically doesn't exist?
What help is it to regulate a rhythm that will change the second I stop taking medications, which is a requirement of the sleep study.
Am I crazy for thinking that this is a pointless recommendation?
Am I wrong to be so frustrated with all of these medial professionals?
What can I even do at this point?
I feel so helpless and so angry. But most of all, I feel so, so tired.
I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this whole thing, and I welcome any advice or support you kind folks have to offer.

I’ve been on keto for a week now. I finally feel energized again after an initial period of fatigue. Do you guys have any exercise tips that would help me lose weight along with the keto diet? I plan to set a daily 500 calorie move goal but I’m not quite sure if that’s enough. I’m 20M, currently 210 pounds, hoping to be down to 180 by the end of the summer. I have a lot of faith in keto!!!

I just hate how my lupus is. I'm constantly carrying water weight. I did a 64oz of water a day and my legs swelled. I love drinking water. I wanted to cleanse. My weight is heavy. I just don't know what to do.
I'm on a lupus trial and don't know if I'm getting medicine or not and I went in the hospital 2 weeks ago.
I hate my weight gain so much I diet, I run marathons ever so often, I can walk very long distances and nothing. I just come back with swelling. I just stepped on the scale and cried because it says 252. I know it will be 249 or 248 in the morning but I'm tired.
When you touch the front of my legs and push on it it dents in from edema. Is edema over my entire body. I'm crying while writing this.
I'm trying to lose weight I'm 5'6 and from the medicines and everything I just feel like at this point everything is for nothing. Solimedrol, Prednisone, imuran, plaquenil, mystery drugs. I'm still swelling and my weight.
I work as well I'm a educator with little ones so I'm always on my toes and feet.
Any advice, thanks

So about a month ago my 9 year old dachshund/feist mix started having explosive diarrhea, it was pure liquid. After trying the white rice/chicken/pumpkin diet for a week and reintroducing her food without it getting better we took her to the vet. It wasn't parasites or an infection so our vet gave us some probiotics and pectin with the wc/p diet and then weening back to her regular food nothing was getting better so we went back. Turns out her albumin was low so he threw in another test for Addisons (it came back negative) and suggested an ultrasound. Unfortunately she didn't make it to that ultrasound appointment, that night she was vomiting/ had diarrhea, she wasn't getting up to use the bathroom and was very disoriented. I ended up having to take her to the ER. The vet was saying she has protein losing enteropathy but to find out more an ultrasound was needed. So she had to stay for the day, do the ultrasound, X-ray, and vitals, etc. Which cost us $2,300. After the ultrasound didn't show cancer but there was thickening of her intentestines, she suggested putting her under and doing a biopsy which we couldn't afford. It would have ran us $4-$6k, so we decided to do maintenance at home with meds and a new diet. She was put on dex injection for 4 days then move to Prednisone pills, atopica, paxil, and cerenia for nausea. The new food was hills low fat wet food (which for a month would have ran us $225 a month). We were also given an appointment with an internist for the following Monday.
Unfortunately, she did not do well on this new food with the meds. She was having diarrhea hourly and it was almost completely blood. We took her home last Wednesday and by Sunday she was back at the ER it got so bad (all they did was give her fluids and antibiotics and told us to wait until her internist appt). And on Sunday I started her back on the chicken and rice too curb the diarrhea a little bit which didn't really help. After seeing the internist on Monday she did bloodwork again and suggested a couple of tweaks to the meds (lowered the atopica, and went back to shots of dex for a bit instead of the Prednisone pills). This vet appt cost $500 including the cost of the meds and she said I'm supposed to see heget new meds weekly. It is now Wednesday and she is still having diarrhea multiple times a day that are almost completely blood even on the chicken and rice. She is also losing weight fast, she went from 29.5 when we first went to the vet for this to 23.8 as of Monday.
I love my dog so much, she is the first pet of my own but I realistically cannot afford this treatment. We are already $5k in the hole from this and I don't see an end in sight (besides her albumin going up a little bit from last Wednesday). I'm not sure what to do and I'm very upset I'm forced to make this decision. From looking online and asking the vet, dogs with PLE have a life expectancy of 6-12 months. Do I go into debt over this? What would you do in this situation? I feel like a horrible owner for not being able to afford this. Any advice/experience/help would be greatly appreciated!

So about a month ago my 9 year old dachshund/feist mix started having explosive diarrhea, it was pure liquid. After trying the white rice/chicken/pumpkin diet for a week and reintroducing her food without it getting better we took her to the vet. It wasn't parasites or an infection so our vet gave us some probiotics and pectin with the wc/p diet and then weening back to her regular food nothing was getting better so we went back. Turns out her albumin was low so he threw in another test for Addisons (it came back negative) and suggested an ultrasound. Unfortunately she didn't make it to that ultrasound appointment, that night she was vomiting/ had diarrhea, she wasn't getting up to use the bathroom and was very disoriented. I ended up having to take her to the ER. The vet was saying she has protein losing enteropathy but to find out more an ultrasound was needed. So she had to stay for the day, do the ultrasound, X-ray, and vitals, etc. Which cost us $2,300. After the ultrasound didn't show cancer but there was thickening of her intentestines, she suggested putting her under and doing a biopsy which we couldn't afford. It would have ran us $4-$6k, so we decided to do maintenance at home with meds and a new diet. She was put on dex injection for 4 days then move to Prednisone pills, atopica, paxil, and cerenia for nausea. The new food was hills low fat wet food (which for a month would have ran us $225 a month). We were also given an appointment with an internist for the following Monday.
Unfortunately, she did not do well on this new food with the meds. She was having diarrhea hourly and it was almost completely blood. We took her home last Wednesday and by Sunday she was back at the ER it got so bad (all they did was give her fluids and antibiotics and told us to wait until her internist appt). And on Sunday I started her back on the chicken and rice too curb the diarrhea a little bit which didn't really help. After seeing the internist on Monday she did bloodwork again and suggested a couple of tweaks to the meds (lowered the atopica, and went back to shots of dex for a bit instead of the Prednisone pills). This vet appt cost $500 including the cost of the meds and she said I'm supposed to see heget new meds weekly. It is now Wednesday and she is still having diarrhea multiple times a day that are almost completely blood even on the chicken and rice. She is also losing weight fast, she went from 29.5 when we first went to the vet for this to 23.8 as of Monday.
I love my dog so much, she is the first pet of my own but I realistically cannot afford this treatment. We are already $5k in the hole from this and I don't see an end in sight (besides her albumin going up a little bit from last Wednesday). I'm not sure what to do and I'm very upset I'm forced to make this decision. From looking online and asking the vet, dogs with PLE have a life expectancy of 6-12 months. Do I go into debt over this? What would you do in this situation? I feel like a horrible owner for not being able to afford this. Any advice/experience/help would be greatly appreciated!

Hi! I don't normally post on reddit but I am in need of some unbiased advice. My boyfriend(28m) and myself (26f) broke up today after 5 years. He has started his own business in the restaurant world and it has completely taken over his life. This was something we discussed beforehand that his time would limited and his schedule would be crazy so I very much knew what to expect in that regard. Where I think we made a mistake was how we would go about the day to day contact to stay connected and close during this time. BOTH of us have stepped back and taken noticeable space from each other in the past couple weeks. Not answering texts as fast being less engaged everything you would do when pulling back a smidge. I reached out to find time for us to find time to speak in person. My intentions with this talk were to discuss how we should've been proactive at the beginning to have this talk so we both knew exactly what the other person needs and what is expected to keep us reassured and happy that we were doing good! The conversation very quickly turned to him being in a horrible mental space because his long working hours and stress on top of that. I get that 100% and to be fair he doesn't look good he is losing weight and his eyes are bloodshot at all times. He said that I haven't supported him in this new business because I don't go see him at the restaurant often. I go about once a week and sit and wait for him to get off so we can sleep together literally any time together even if it's just sleeping is something at this point. In my situation I am a single mother to a 6year old and I also work as a hairstylist so I have 10 hours days socializing on my feet. I can not leave my daughter with my parents to go sit and watch him work till 1-2 am and then wake up at 7 am to get myself and child ready for the day I need to be home with her and I need to take her to her activities. She is my number 1 priority and this has been 5 years this is very known. We proceeded to argue about how I can't do that right now and how I am willingly to do whatever he needs me to to fix this and that i very much still love him and want this. He would not look me in the eye or break up with me he wouldn't even say we need a break or space he just kept repeating he needs to fix himself and crying. We hugged and sobbed together and he left. I am giving him all his space s till he reaches out to me I do eventually need my things back from his house so I have to break contact at some point if he doesn't. We also have two weddings in a month that we have rsvpd for and bought gifts and clothes for so that needs to be discussed as well.
Sorry for the complete ramble of the situation I am really looking for maybe a male perspective on this or something totally unbiased. I have no idea what to think and I am left in total confusion and plan to take it as an actual break up and wait for him to reach out
extra: this same thing happened 2 1/2 years ago with us he was unhappy i picked up on it initiated a convo and it went the same way no answers no official anything just he is messed up and doesn't know he reached out a week later wanting to fix things and we did and have been great and happy since till this month

I had a lot of stuff happening that stressed me out, including a fire at my old place that I could have died. I ended up gained weight from stress and overeating. I'm not obese but I have a big belly and sadly living in Los Angeles I feel very fat. Almost every girl here seems a size 0-2.
I work for a fancy hotel and I see a lot of those girls that I'm sure are models or influencers. They get to wear nice clothes and all while I'm dressed in a plain uniform. (I work in food service) One of the managers we have is another one of those girls, like size 2, dresses up all nice and my coworker tells me she is sooo pretty.
My coworkers who are mostly guys keep talking to each other about x or y hot girl. I was called fat by another coworker before and in general, those guys don't treat me that nice. We are really neutral with each other which is really fine.
I'm trying to lose weight, I was overeating before getting all bloaty. I'm trying to add some fillers on my face, get more skin treatments and hopefully people will like me more.

I have a few Wegovy shots left after not liking it (constipation and low reduction of food noise). Wondering if anyone has switched back and forth as needed until their dose was available. I'm considering doing this so I don't lose momentum with weight loss AND maybe it will make the break in time not be a problem.

Had a great time on my first overnight trip but when I got home I noticed a broken spoke on my rear wheel. The bike is a Surly Straggler with stock Alex Adventurer 2 rims. I’m 215 lbs and probably had another 50lbs with all my gear. The trip was on paved trails and very smooth gravel.
Obviously I don’t want this to happen in the middle of nowhere so I’m looking for advice on where to start with an upgrade. Should I have someone rebuild the wheel? Consider new rims with a higher spoke count? Lose some weight?

26F Diagnosed with IBS, GERD, and POTS. I currently take Lansoprazole, Metoprolol, Hailey 24Fe (birth control), and Vyvanse.
Ever since I was around 19-20 years old, my weight would change pretty drastically from year to year. I did swim and track in high school and I worked out consistently throughout college (aerial silks, weights, and yoga). I started college at around 115lbs (for reference I’m 5’3). By sophomore year, I was almost 130lbs. I thought, freshman 15, it happens to a lot of people, and I adjusted my eating habits to be less junk / fast food. By junior year, I was about 112lbs. Senior year, I was 120lbs give or take. I never really TRIED to gain or lose weight.
Surprisingly, I stayed at 120lbs throughout covid/lockdown despite no longer working out. Around mid-2021, I started to not be able to keep down food, throwing up most of my meals, feeling full all the time, and I lost weight very quickly, I was down to 100lbs in three months. Obviously, I was concerned and went to the doctor and they first did a pregnancy test (negative), then bloodwork. Everything came back normal except my T3/T4 (can’t remember exactly) showed a slight hyperthyroidism. I was sent to an endocrinologist who ran another pregnancy test (negative) and more bloodwork, she said everything was fine and normal. My primary doctor was having me drink protein smoothies instead of eating meals and taking prenatal vitamins to make sure I was getting enough nutrients in the mean time, and that kept me stable at 100lbs. Still, most of the time I felt full no matter if I had eaten or not and I would throw up most solid food.
Since I had just started a new bipolar medication (Latuda) right before the vomiting started, my psych took me off that (didn’t help) and put me on Abilify instead (which I ended up switching from a few months later to Lamotrigine because it gave me tardive dyskinesia). I also took a break from my birth control for most of 2022 to see if that effecting my hormones was causing it (no, it wasn’t).
It was around SeptembeOctober of 2021 that I experienced my first POTS fainting episode. We didn’t know what was happening so my boyfriend brought me to the ER, but by the time I got there I was already recovering from it so the doctors there didn’t take me seriously, especially since COVID was still big. I would have a few more fainting spells and then an abnormal EKG from an urgent care in October 2022 before I was diagnosed with POTS by a cardiologist.
During that time in mid to late 2022, I also had a vaginal ultrasound done (check for ovarian or uterine cancer / cysts; none, ovaries multi-follicular); a regular ultrasound to check my pancreas, kidneys, liver, etc. (family history of pancreatic cancer; all clear and normal); and an endoscopy/colonoscopy (signs of slight inflammation; diagnosed with IBS and GERD). After the IBS/GERD diagnosis, I was put on the lansoprazole, which did help a lot and got me back up to 120lbs by 2023. Once I had the IBS/GERD and POTS diagnoses, my primary doctor basically said, “We don’t know what’s causing them, so we’re just going to treat those symptoms for now.”
Now it’s 2024 and in the past 4 months I’ve now GAINED almost 20 lbs despite still eating less than I did before I started not being able to eat in 2021 and with almost no change to my diet otherwise beyond adding extra salt to help with the POTS symptoms, and I’ve actually been MORE active lately by trying to take my dogs on walks around our neighborhood (dependent on how bad POTS is that day).
Other symptoms I experience are migraines, fatigue, joint pain (particularly in my neck, back, and fingers), and brain fog. Also have family history of hypothyroidism and hydrocephalus.
Whenever I try to search about drastic fluctuations in weight, the results are all about the normal daily fluctuations people have, which makes me think that drastically losing 20lbs in 3 months without trying, slowly gaining it back over a year, and then suddenly gaining 20lbs in 3 months without trying over the span of a couple years isn’t something that typically happens to people. So doctors of Reddit, what do you think could cause it?

I’m at a breaking point. The scale read 199.6lbs today. This is the heaviest I’ve been my whole life. I find myself saying that a lot. At first it was at 170, then 185, then 195 and now here a few ounces shy from 200.I was prompted to step on the scale after pictures were sent to me from an event this past weekend. I did not like what I saw. I thought, Dang, my arms look big. Look at my stomach. Is this what everybody sees?
I’m allowing myself to cry about it now. But I know I can’t stay here in this mindset because I will probably binge on something that will spike my blood sugar, which will elevate my testosterone then exacerbate my other symptoms. I’m scared sometimes that I’ll develop an ED because of this consistent weight gain. I hate that the medications( spiralactone and metformin) give me GI issues. I cant be consistent with the natural stuff like medicinal teas. I’m tired of: - counting calories - undereating most days then overeating the next day - EVERYTHING making me bloated - Rising testosterone levels - Fatigue - Thick facial hair and thick hair in unwanted places (behind thighs, on thighs, lower back, butt cheeks) - Hair shedding/ bald spots - Low self image - Being shaped like a Dorito - Apparently not being able to do certain exercises because it raises cortisol levels which also exacerbates symptoms
The only thing I’ve enjoyed this past year is weight lifting and strength training. I can do 10 pushups with ease now. I love lifting heavy and hitting a new personal record. Cardio, yeah f that. Point is, the gym is my happy place. But looking at my body it doesn’t look like I put in work. And I tell you when I go to the doctor, they dont believe that I go to the gym as consistent as I do because of my consistent weight gain. They remind me of what is a better exercise for someone with PCOS and that I need to lose weight to better these symptoms.
Anyway, I’m going to sulk for a bit and then come up with a game plan to lose weight. I’m aiming to lose 1lb a week by eating in a 500 calorie deficit. I’ll try low carb this time and take a step back from my weakness, sugar. I’ve also decided to take a step back from online dating (new to it) since I’m not tryna catfish anyone.
Anyway, I appreciate you reading this and just hearing most of what is on my heart and mind.

“Beasts all over the shop…You’ll be one of them, sooner or later…”
The strange Hunter turned around and exhaled. His breath was visible against the night’s air.
He’s bloodlusted. Aegis, I hope you have a plan.
Shimmer saw Elpis step back slightly, with a shocked expression on her face. She shakily raised a claw and pointed at something on the ground.
No. It… it can’t be.
That’s… horrible.
A shattered red jeweled necklace lay strewn across the ground, beside the mangled corpse of the Silkwing.
The Hivewing in front of the three swung his axe to the side. As it was a trick weapon, he was able to change its form on command. The axe had two forms: a shortened form that acted sort of like a sword, and an extended form specialized in crowd control and reach.
He extended his axe and Shimmer heard a low snarl from his throat.
“Do we kill him?” Elpis asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
“We don't have a choice. Steel yourself.” Aegis muttered and brandished his silksabers. The blades gleamed in the soft light of the three moons.
The hunter was taller than all of them, one head taller than Aegis and two taller than Shimmer and Elpis. Black tattered robes clung to him, marking him a Shadowhunter. Blood from tonight’s hunt stained the black fabric, showcasing his expertise and experience in the hunt. He wore a rounded dark-gray hat, and bloodied bandages covered his eyes. Shimmer wondered if he could even see.
Corpses of both beasts and dragons were scattered about the square-shaped courtyard, an equal amount of gravestones breaking up the open space. His teeth were uneven as if he had been eating and chewing rough bones. Blood dripped from his mouth down his neck, and his Hivewing stingers flexed in anticipation.
“Be careful,” Aegis started, “He’s going to use magic. Elpis, don’t use any of yours.” He told the hybrid dragon beside him, and she nodded.
The hunter walked slowly around them, searching for a weakness in their structure, and then spat out a lump of coagulated blood.
“That stench of squalid blood. No beast will be spared.” He half-muttered and half-growled. He tipped his hat respectfully, before lunging at Elpis. She dove to the side, and tried to retaliate with her scythe, but just slightly missed.
This hunter was agile, surprisingly so considering how old he looked. Shimmer gripped the handle of her silkhammer, knowing it wasn’t the time to strike. She stepped backward, seeking cover behind a grave, while Aegis leaped forward with the intent to pierce the frenzied hunter’s heart. Once again, the hunter rolled to the side and sent his axe hurtling towards the smaller Silkwing. Shimmer felt fear grip her heart, but Aegis avoided the blade. He fell back and motioned for Elpis to stay back.
“A sporting hunt. But alas, I’ve forgotten to ask your name.” Aegis growled, and the hunter laughed a sick, disturbing laugh.
“The name’s Gascoigne.” He shot back, and jumped into the air, slamming his axe down where Aegis was a split second ago. Shimmer’s ears rung from the sound of the impact. Her antennae subconsciously curled in defensively.
“Gascoigne. That’s a nice name. I’ll tell Ludwig you were a proud hunter till the end.” Aegis replied and sent his twin blades slicing into the hunter’s thigh. He recoiled, and a gleeful laugh escaped his bloodied mouth.
“Hehe… the sweet stench of blood. Just… just marvelous!” He exclaimed and raised his off-talon towards Aegis.
“Aegis! Get down!” Shimmer called, and a burst of flame erupted from the hunter’s claws across the courtyard. The limited magic the Hivewing had that he was willing to use in this hunt.
Aegis fell back, hissing in pain as a few stray flames singed his tail. The hunter chuckled under his breath, and Elpis took advantage of the opening he had presented her. She thrust the blade of her scythe toward him, opting for its sword form as of now, and the hunter knocked the blow aside. He countered with a kick to the Ice-Hivewing’s ribs, and she was sent to the ground. She coughed up a spurt of blue Icewing blood, and the hunter lifted his axe for a finishing blow.
Shimmer roared out and swung her hammer toward the hunter. The silk connected it to her wrists as it flew through the air, and it hit the hunter square in his side just as his axe was falling. He was sent into the opposite side of the courtyard, coughing and sputtering, but with a faint smirk on his face. Shimmer was in disbelief; how was he not dead?
“Ooh, what’s that smell… the sweet blood, ooh, it sings to me! It's enough to make a dragon sick.” Gascoigne laughed hollowly. He raised his talon, and Shimmer quickly rolled to the side as a ball of flame soared past her horns.
He’s going to turn at this rate.
Shimmer hid under a gravestone as a tree behind her erupted in flames, and Aegis jumped into the air. He beat his four wings ferociously before diving into the hunter. He caught both of Aegis’ horns, and he twisted his head. Aegis fell to the ground, and Gascoigne slashed his axe down across the Silkwing’s leg. Aegis cried out, and Shimmer’s heart ached. She pushed herself up, ignoring the raging fire around her, and she threw her hammer up in the air and aimed it towards the hunter. He narrowly evaded the heavy impact of the stone before Shimmer heard a metal clang behind her.
Elpis, scythe in one talon, approached Gascoigne. She had the little music box in her other.
Elpis played the music box and a song of eerie notes filled the courtyard.
The hunter stumbled back, clawing at his face, and Elpis shot Shimmer a look, her face telling her to make sure Aegis was okay.
Elpis advanced on the struggling hunter, and Shimmer leaped over to her Silkwing partner, who was injured on the ground. She felt tears welling in her eyes, but she knew this wasn’t the time to cry.
“Aegis. Look at me. Look at me.” She repeated, and he lifted his head weakly. His leg had a massive gash in it, but he could probably still walk, just with a limp.
“Ah, Shimmer. I’m alright. I’ll be back in the fight. Go, help Elpis. I’ll join back soon enough.” He groaned, and the pair heard a roar behind them.
Elpis was locked in a duel with Gascoigne, and the hunter’s stray fireballs met with blasts of frostbreath. For the first time in the battle, the hunter had a slight look of fear on his face. Elpis was relentless, her burial blade swiftly countering and stopping any attempt Gascoigne made at advancing. Aegis crawled back and attempted to stand, using a grave for support.
“Shimmer! I can’t hold him for long!” Elpis called, and Shimmer nodded. She took the hammer in her claws and swung it around her side, and in a clockwise circle in the air. It was the perfect counterweight to her body weight. She hoisted it up further into the air and then brought it crashing down onto the hunter.
It struck Gascoigne directly on the spine, and he fell to the ground.
He screamed in pain.
And then, a bright light flashed from his body.
His screams deepened in tone, morphing to be more animalistic. His posture fell forward, and his muscles rippled through his body. He grew in size, and more of his bloodied garb ripped from the size change.
Fur sprouted from seemingly random places on the Hivewing’s body, and his claws extended. His face shifted, his features becoming more and more distorted. His black hat fell to the ground.
The bandages around his eyes stayed, as well as the black-tattered garb that marked him as once a Hunter.
He was no longer a Hunter. Moons above, he wasn’t even a dragon anymore.
He was now a beast.
Shimmer’s heart pounded in her chest. She stared at the transformation for a split second, before reeling in her hammer. She took it in her right talon and dove behind a gravestone, wary of the spreading flames.
Elpis, on the other claw, held her blade in front of her. Shimmer heard a rasping cough escape the Ice-HiveWing’s throat, but she didn’t break her stance.
The beast that was once Gascoigne whipped around toward Elpis, and launched himself at her, with a ferocity Shimmer had never seen even in beasts.
Elpis sidestepped quickly. The beast slammed into the wall with a loud roar, and Shimmer spied Aegis in her peripheral vision struggling to stand. He winced as he stood on his injured leg, but didn’t cry out. He brandished his two blades as the beast charged at him.
“Aegis!” Shimmer cried.
He’s going to get hit. That beast will kill him.
Aegis ignored her, and as soon as the beast was within a wingspan from him he twisted his body in such a way that he narrowly avoided the savage charge. He elegantly sliced his twin blades across the beast’s hide, and the creature howled before rapidly turning to face him.
Shimmer flew into the air. “Get away from him!” She yelled before bringing the weight of her hammer down on the beast. It flattened part of his ribcage, but it seemed impervious to the pain. It did knock him to the ground, though, giving Aegis a moment to cut through what was once two of the hunter’s wings.
The beast quickly got back on its claws before sending a flurry of swipes towards Shimmer. She dodged to the side and readied her hammer for another strike.
That was before the beast kicked her square in her chest, its sharp, ravenous claws digging in and tearing her scales. Shimmer fell back, a slight gasp escaping her mouth, and she stumbled back into the wall. She lost her footing and fell to the ground, and gazed up at the beast locked on her.
“Aegis! Help!” She yelled, and not even a second later her Silkwing partner crashed into the beast. They fell to the ground, grappling with each other before Shimmer heard a familiar song fill the courtyard.
Elpis was cranking the music box, its ominous lullaby breaking up the noise of the fight. The beast stopped attacking Aegis and instead clawed at its face. It growled and screamed in pain, drawing blood from its very own fur and scales.
“Now! Kill it!” She yelled through the song, and Aegis nodded before driving his two blades through the beast’s skull.
They stuck, and the beast roared before throwing him off. It crawled and thrashed about on the ground, clearly not dead, and the two new blades stuck to his head pointed out like new horns.
Now’s my chance.
Shimmer stumbled to her claws and wound her hammer up into the air. With every last bit of her strength, she brought it down on the flailing beast.
It crushed what was left of the hunter.
Silence filled the courtyard, only broken by a few stray notes from the music box, the pained breathing of the three hunters in the area, and the howls and screams from other places in the Hive.
Shimmer breathed a sigh of relief, before collapsing.
I did it. We did it.
Gascoigne was free.
…
“I brought you water.”
Shimmer opened her eyes and found herself in her familiar hospital room.
The morning sun’s rays lit the room, and Shimmer felt very little pain from her chest.
It had been three days since that night.
Shimmer fixed her gaze on the purple-orange Silkwing sitting beside her and smiled.
“Thanks. I’m feeling much better, we should get going to Bloodworm soon. It’s today, remember?” Shimmer asked, and he nodded. Of course, he remembered.
The summons for every hunter to come to Bloodworm Hive. Ludwig, The Holy Blade had requested them all. He no doubt planned an attack. A shame really, the hive was only newly rebuilt. And now it was going to be the site of a horrid, savage warzone.
“I remember. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Ludwig would understand if you couldn’t come,” Aegis asked, and she spied a hint of worry on his face.
“I’m fine. I need to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. I’ll come.” She sighed and took a sip from the canteen that Aegis had brought. It tasted wonderful, he had put something in to flavor it.
“Honeydew?” She guessed, and Aegis smiled.
“Yep. It’s your favorite, right?” He asked, and she nodded. She opened her arms, and he hugged her tight.
“I love you,” Shimmer whispered in his ear.
“I love you too. I pray to Clearsight that we’ll both be safe today. I can’t bear to lose you.” Aegis replied. He pulled away and gazed out the window.
Shimmer quickly drank the rest of the honeydew-flavored water before getting out of bed. She joined him at the window and was slightly surprised by what she saw.
Almost all of the hunters of Jewel Hive were preparing, some of them already flying in the direction of Bloodworm. They were all sharpening their trick weapons, mixing poisons, or saying goodbye to loved ones.
“We should get going. It’ll be midmorning when we get there, I don’t want to be late.” Shimmer suggested, and Aegis put a wing around her.
“Now? I need to get my stuff, and you do too. Join me at the workshop.” He asked, and she slid her head in the curve of his neck as he led her out of her sick room.
…
Shimmer beat her wings strong and fast against the morning savanna winds.
She saw what looked to be several hundred, maybe even a thousand dragons gathered around a hill. All of them had a colored garb fluttering proudly from their neck. Around ninety percent of the garbs were white, and the rest were black.
They were all different tribes and a fair amount of hybrids were scattered about as well. The gathered hunters were mostly Pantalan, but a good few were from Pyrrhia as well.
Shimmer and Aegis landed a short distance away from the hill, and all around them the sounds of dragons conversing and laughing with each other.
The sun was high in the sky, but it wasn’t quite noon yet.
“You see anyone you recognize?” Aegis asked, and Shimmer shook her head.
“There’s too many dragons here. It’s too much.” She whimpered, and Aegis pulled her close. He knew she didn’t do well in crowds. That was partly why she became a Shadowhunter. To work alone or with no more than a few other dragons.
“You’re safe with me.” He comforted her, and she leaned against him.
She had always hated being with a lot of other dragons. Aegis said it sounded like she had anxiety, which made sense. It didn’t do much to alleviate that fear, though.
None of them are thinking about you. They’re all busy with their own stuff.
Just take deep breaths.
“Do you want to move away? There’s fewer dragons over there,” He asked and pointed a claw across from them.
“…No, no I’m fine.” She whispered, and Aegis sighed.
“Alright. If you want to move, don’t be afraid to ask. I don’t mind it.”
Shimmer shook her head quickly, before the pair heard a loud voice from the top of the hill. They both looked up and saw the legendary hunter himself: Ludwig.
The menacing Nightwing stood proudly, his holy silver sword slung across his shoulder. His partner Memoria stood beside him, her tail twined around his. She had a bored look on her face as she stared at the crowd. The voices of the dragons fell silent, and Shimmer felt like she could breathe again.
The Nightwing’s loud voice echoed through the plain. “Dear Hunters.” He paused, his heroic voice inspiring pride and triumph in Shimmer, even though he had barely started.
“I’m sure all of you know why we’re here. Behind me, Bloodworm Hive stands proud against the horizon. Yet I am more than certain you all know what lies inside.” He paused and pointed his sword toward the dark shape of the Hive.
“Beasts. A few thousand. I think it’s time we put them out of their misery. That is why we are here. A battle of the ages, one that will go down in history. We, the brave heroes, fighting against evil. We will be reveled, we will be honored. We will protect the dragons we hold dear to our hearts, and save those we can yet save.” His speech roused the crowd, and Shimmer felt herself stand a little taller.
“The plan is simple. The Hunters of the Sun will lead the charge from the front. I have already talked to the leaders of the charge. The Shadowhunters will pick the stray beasts off from behind. We will attack at dusk when half the sun is hidden from the eye.” He gestured with his sword at the rising sun, and he extended his wings. His massive wingspan seemed to fill the sky, and Shimmer's heart swelled with pride.
He held his sword up to the heavens, and it transformed. It grew larger, into the shape of a claymore, and it turned a shade of sacred jade. It glowed with an otherworldly light, and the crowd was enamored by the display.
“Now, hunters. Spend the rest of today preparing. The hunt is on tonight. Ludwig, The Holy Blade will be with all of you in spirit.” He bellowed, and the crowd erupted in applause and cheers.
Shimmer saw a proud, triumphant look in Aegis’ eyes, and she felt the same. Ludwig’s blade captivated her. The blade of legend, inspiring all who lay eyes on it.
Ludwig would be with them tonight. The best, the greatest, the strongest hunter ever.
Tonight, the hunters would not know defeat.
Nor would they ever, with Ludwig alive and at their side.
May the good blood guide your way,
Ultima_8

Hello all 👋
Does anyone know what the best course of action would be? I’m a female, 5’7” and last time I weighed in, I was 203. My body fat % is like 37 or 38. Which is pretty high.
I want to get it down. I dont care about my weight.
In addition to wanting to lose fat, I want to gain muscle. Specifically in my glutes. But I’ll take what I can get.
I’ve heard of body recomping. I think just eat high amounts of protein. Be in a slight deficit. Gain muscle, lose fat. Weight might not change that much.
I’ve been trying to eat in a complete deficit. I was going hard and was consuming 1300 calories. That lasted me a good 3-4 days because I was trying out a carnivore diet with a friend. Didnt last long.
Recently I just tried decreasing my deficit. Now I’m at 1700 which is much more manageable.
But i keep hearing that if you want to gain muscle, you have to eat. Is that the case? Or could i just get away with body recomping and eating a lot of protein?

I’m 21 years old and it feels like I have my whole life ahead of me to find love and to be desired but I don’t really think so.
I know it’s many many people’s biggest fear to look like me or be with me. I see it in the way my female friends act and other women around me. They panic if they eat slightly more than they should, say they can’t eat the last piece of food on their plate because it scares them that it would make them fat and they constantly ask for reassurance (including from me) if they look fat (they are a size 4 at most). And even male friends, I see the disgust when someone even assumes we are together, the vitriol I heard from them about people like Lizzo. I had to cut a male friend off because he would go on rants unprompted about how he could never be with someone like me and how I am so disgusting and the only reason I’ve ever been on dates or been with anyone is because I have boobs and that’s my only good quality. Don’t get me started on the racism and colourism + the misogyny on top of the fatphobia. If I had a dollar for every time a random person or “friend” but black, specifically dark skin women at the bottom of their presence list or not even on the list at all, I would be rich enough to get all the surgeries the kardashains got to make them look like black women.
I I know people would rather die than have me or be me but it’s not a productive thought so I don’t think about it. I wear whatever I want and act like I’m hot hoping I’d actually feel that way. I’m out there and blunt but deep down inside I just hope I’m loud enough so they don’t think too hard and notice my flaws.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had people desire me but it’s all meaningless. Short term flings meant to satisfy short term desires which I was ok with. But my longest relationship is 2 months and it only lasted that long because I was waiting for feelings to grow on my end but it never did. It always felt like a slap on the face whenever I would meet a guy who liked me for who I am and I just couldn’t like him back, no matter how much time I spent with him or how I tried.
Could I lose weight and look “better”? Yes, but I want someone who wants me for me not just because I’m skinny and look more palatable. Plus it would prove all the negative things I think about myself. Maybe if I’ve never experienced love and affection before I wouldn’t complain but I have the most amazing female friends it makes me cry because it means it is possible to be appreciated as I am now.
Just wanted to vent and I know this isn’t original. But I feel differently because I don’t hate myself, I just hate how I’m perceived. And people make me feel bad for not hating myself and it’s a cycle I think.

Hi! I am new to Reddit, but I’ve been struggling with PCOS for a while and I’ve been diagnosed since I was about 21. I go almost a year without having a period and when I do it lasts about 9 days and slightly heavy. Anyway, I really want to have my period consistently, and ovulate consistently as well too. I saw on here that many of you suggested inositol, so I’ve been on that for about a week (I know it takes time) I am just gassy/have to go #2 a lot lol. (500mg which is a low dose?)
My OBGYN told me to lose like 5% of my body weight and last summer I worked really hard and lost about 40 pounds (more than 5%). Since then I’ve maintained that weight loss even though I’m still obese I have been working on slowly improving my diet/activity levels.
I am tired of being tired, and I just want to have my regular cycles back. I don’t know if it’s stress, or hormones, etc but I feel like so disheartened. My OBGYN said when I lost weight I’d probably get my cycle back and I didn’t.
Also any tips for vaginal dryness?

So last year, in desperation, I made a post about how I couldn’t lose weight despite doing keto for years. I was given so much encouragement along with advice and resources which led me to losing 60 pounds in the last 14 months or so. It’s been amazing! It’s been slower than I would have liked but I was steadily losing about 5 pounds a month. However, for the last few months I’ve only fluctuated up and down 4-5 pounds. I’m currently fasting from 5pm-9am, eating 1200-1500 calories a day, aiming for 90 grams of protein, and at least 5000 steps a day (usually more!) I guess my question is, at this point, what else can I do? I started at 230 and am down to 170-174. My goal is 135. Any help is appreciated! I’m a 35 year old female 5’6
Thanks!!! 🙃

I’m so upset with myself, all the work I put in went down the drain because I didn’t vet my friends properly.
I had severe social anxiety as a teen, then in 2019, I got on medication and suddenly had an urge to do things that I was scared of, from least to most and work my way up. Going to concerts alone, house parties where I didn’t know a single person, dance classes, you name it. By 2021, I was no longer on medication and extremely confident. Even when I was doing embarrassing stuff, I had an “oh well whatever” mentality. Everyone would talk about how much I changed for the better.
2022 was my favourite year, so social, everyone enjoyed my presence because I was being myself and I noticed it eased other people’s social anxiety too because I wasn’t judgemental at all.
Cut to 2023, I become friends with these girls and I find myself losing my identity, becoming more insecure, just boring. People no longer gravitate towards me, I can’t figure out what’s happening.
I got into a disagreement with one of the girls and take time away from the group, during that time I feel like myself again. I hang out with them, and everything hits me all at once.
I realised these girls were deeply insecure and projecting their insecurities onto me. They were insecure about their bodies, it made them uncomfortable that I was content with mine despite not fitting the beauty standard. There were so many things that were wrong with me in their eyes and should be insecure of. They clearly felt like they needed to let me know that.
Some things were: my weight, the fact that I’m not white (they are not white either, but they seem to have internalised racism), the way I speak (for example slang, which they thought was “ghetto”), honestly everything.
They’d also take horrible pictures of me then make me feel like I’m being sensitive for telling them it’s a bad pic. I’ve showed the pics to friends and family and they agree it’s a bad pic. (Eyes closed, mouth open, not ready)
I’m an idiot for allowing them to get to me, but it did. Badly. I’d cut them off now, but we have a friend’s wedding in August and I’m waiting til that’s over.
I’ve distanced myself and only see them when I have to (e.g the wedding), and have made great new friends, but the damage has been done. I need to start from square one with my healing journey.
Looking back, it did feel like jealousy, not jealous of me/my life, but how I was unapologetically myself. But misery loves company I guess.
Any tips to heal would be helpful.

hi! im f14 with a bmi of 26.5 with the measurements in the title. ive been just a tad overweight according to the bmi scale since i was 10 and it's affected me a lot. tbh, i dont look that overweight but i definitely dont feel a spring in my step and feel slouchy and lazy most of the time.
ive been told that my arms could look amazing if i worked them out and im interested in that. id also like to get visible abs, muscular legs/thigh gap (this one is a bit unrealistic lol), and nice back and to hopefully lose some face fat along the way.
my biggest issues are my eating habits and my sedentary lifestyle. i tend to eat after im full and to not eat the most nutrient dense foods. im also very sedentary: i dont do sports and sit most of the day in school and at home. i have been working on it slowly-slowly but not very consistently.
if theres anyone that is looking for a work out buddy who will motivate them and has some of the same issues and goals as me, please let me know so we can help each other and hopefully create a lasting friendship!
if theres anyone that has a beginner workout plan for my goals, please share! im a very beginner and dont really know how to do workouts/have good form lol im not allowed to go to the gym but i have a pull-up bar at home, jump rope, 5 and 8 lb weights, resistance bands, and a yoga mat.
thank you so much! any and all suggestions are appreciated!!