I’m in a bit of a bind and could really use some advice. Recently, I secretly joined an EMT school, and I’m loving it. The course runs on weekends—8 hours on Saturdays and 9 hours on Sundays. My goal isn’t to make a career out of being an EMT, but to get certified so I have more job options once I graduate college. The problem is, I’m terrified of my parents, especially my dad, finding out.
Here’s the background: My dad can be very imposing and always tries to impose his opinions on me. We’ve had several family psychologists and psychiatrists tell him he’s in the wrong for the way he treats us, but it doesn’t change anything. Typical narcissist behavior. I knew I wouldn’t be able to find a course that didn’t conflict with my time at home, so I’m running the risk of being asked where I’m going.
Lying isn’t an option for me because if they get suspicious, they will investigate and find out, which would make things infinitely worse. Here are the reasons why I’m so scared of telling them:
Reason 1: My dad grew up poor and worked his way up to financial success. Anything he considers “lower class,” he immediately puts down. For example, my little brother started fixing iPhone screens in high school, and my dad chastised him, calling it a “poor people job.”
Reason 2: My dad takes it personally if I don’t come home for lunch. He sees it as a personal slight, even when I have classes or am hanging out with friends. Recently, he told my other little brother how sad he gets when I don’t come home for lunch, making it all about him.
Reason 3: If you strongly disagree with him, he applies the silent treatment. He once stopped talking to my sister for 6 months over a fight about her boyfriend. He also cut off my little brother (the one who fixed phones) from money, gas, and family outings because he took a gap semester to focus on his business.
I’m terrified of becoming the black sheep of the family. I’ve battled depression before, and I’m scared of falling back into that dark place if my dad reacts badly. If he finds out I’m missing lunch for EMT school, he’ll take it personally, think it’s beneath me, try to force me out of it, and, if I refuse, stop talking to me and cut me off financially and emotionally.
I feel stuck and don’t know what to do. How can I approach this situation without causing a major family conflict or jeopardizing my mental health? Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel. I also didn't need a visa to get here, though I will be getting one for my graduate program in September, but this current program was less than a month long so it was counted as group tourism basically.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for the TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any life advice? Or know any cheap hostels or something? Or even just some moral support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave early or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.
Sidenote: The professor also said a lot of things insinuating that, because she didn't like me, neither would any of my professors in my grad school program will, and as much as I think she said it in a vindictive way, I will admit it has me second guessing if I want to actually pursue that in September. After all this I just feel like running from academia in general.

Hello!
This is a letter to one of the most precious people in my life currently. Ironically, we met on Reddit itself! She commented under one of my comment threads. This somehow led her to ask me if I was single on DM. I first thought this was a prank, since it's the men who are usually the ones who make the first move.
I replied, and thank God I did. What followed was a great conversation, where words flowed effortlessly. I never thought of it anymore than that. But it went on daily, slowly, surely. I realised we shared a depth, maturity that I don't find in people my age. We shared Instagram IDs, and even talking there ever since. Every time we talk, even today, she makes me feel valued, special.
I always felt I've had it hard career wise. Until I met her. She was struggling in a toxic workplace, suffering for something that was not her fault at all. As it is with all of us, stress at work can bleed into talking rudely with people around us. Not with her. She was ALWAYS nice to me. Every. Single. Day. Such kindred souls are the rarest of the crop. They don't make such nowadays.
She wished me happy birthday at 12am, which no one has done before. These little things make me feel unbelievably special. Sharing problems has always felt like a hand around my shoulder, with sisterly warmth.
It was in December last year that I finally told her- "I consider you as my best friend. Starting today." After nearly a year of talking. That's how much past trauma I had with friendships. She patiently helped me sort them all, with kindness and affection.
Today we're both in a better place than we started. We know that life is gonna be tumultuous, uncertain. But hey, we have each other. She's taking a monumental step in her career, and I am doing the same in my personal life. I'm glad to be a part of her journey, albeit a small one.
If there's a thing called God and Karma, I wish some of my insane luck goes to her, and some of her problems come to me. I wish you all the happiness in life. Thank you, for everything.

I am an immigrant and I rent my apartment with my boyfriend, my partner. My visa is connected to him.
We have been living in his sister's apartment in Amsterdam since November. Even though she is his sister and is back there, asked for the apartment back from the previous tenant so she could rent it to us, she is hiding her lack of action as landlord and excusing all the current problems and she charges 1400 euros per month for a 50m2 apartment covered in mold.
My boyfriend and I signed the contract as co-tenants, and she asked for a deposit in the amount of one month. We moved in November, but only by the end of the month because the month was used to fix the apartment paying out of my pocket, and doing things like installing the floor and painting walls since no repair or inspection had been done after the last tenant left and before we became tenants. At that time it bothered me a lot, but since she was pregnant and I was sick, I tried to be patient.
One thing is that I have been extremely sick all this time, and ended up hospitalized multiple times. I have been diagnosed with a rare, chronic neurological disease, and the symptoms are so debilitating I have become disabled due to my senses, especially my vision, being compromised. I am on sick leave because I can't see or hear properly, with the risk of becoming permanently blind. More importantly: I live with debilitating pain because of my illness. To the point, it causes harsh consequences for me in every single aspect of my life.
It didn't take me more than 15 minutes in this house to start seeing problems like mold in the whole kitchen - impossible to store anything. I saw mold in the bathroom and the bedroom as well. I have been losing my mind over this, and I paid for repairs myself like I did.
My boyfriend and his sister, who is our landlord, have been communicating about all this between themselves and not by writing. I knew something was going on, and while my boyfriend and I are having huge problems between us because of all this, she has been constantly dismissed as well. I did not have the ability to check for more damage stuck in a bed dissociating with pain and unable to see anything, that’s why I understand I was disrespected by both.
Recently she decided to lower the rent to 1k euros (and I didn't hear a word from her about it) because of his complaints. After I checked that by the point system, she couldn't charge more than 850 euros for a place like this - and this is without mentioning mold, leak, and damage.
She is refusing to reimburse me for any damage or for the rent that was charged full price for an apartment that is rotting in mold.
I want to remember that NO inspection happened. She has charging 1400 euros since November 1st and we only could move on November 19th because of the repair we had to do ourselves and the refusal to reimburse us at the time. I have been spending hundreds of euros because of mold, things destroyed by mold and mold products, and I am very allergic to mold and to it. This also makes my headaches caused by the neurological disease unbearable for me. The thing is that I can't even have money to afford my medical bills or think about going back to my home country because of these costs. I never visited my home country since I left because of financial issues, and seeing to whom and how my money is being poorly handled is adding an amount of stress that freaks me out.
I ended up being immobilized by the police inside my own house this week after I reached a point of complete pain. The day I got my diagnosis was also a day the police were called by neighbors due to my constant screams and crying about paying. That day the doctors couldn't reject a test they had been rejecting for more than a year and I knew it was necessary in my case. The procedure is extremely invasive but involves a 15cm needle through my spine to measure my intracranial hypertension, which was and is extremely high.
I had to write to her this week, making a huge effort, to say that I am not accepting being left off the conversation anymore and that things should be communicated by writing.
Since they (she and her brother) don't respect me or my money while I'm extremely sick, I have to take action myself. I will not accept this woman having money while she not only has a place to live, but it's the owner of a place like this and she chooses to rent for this price. She clearly said that she won't pay for anything back because my boyfriend “didn't communicate clearly enough”.
This desperate me as this person is taking advantage of me, someone who once was healthy and stable, working as a passionate primary teacher, and who became disabled and insane of miscare of Dutch doctors and an abusive landlord who happens to be my sister-in-law. I don't have the money to afford to go back to my home country in an emergency anymore. I once had, but I had paid for thousands of euros to repair this place, besides the rent.
Of course, I am extremely disappointed with the attitude my partner has been taking and the relationship is also coming to an end because of this.
I don't want to keep having conversations to try to address these problems, and they insist on doing that - remember I was not part of ANY conversation, and even when she showed up unexpectedly one day in March, they talked in Dutch and don't let me know what's going on. Nothing had been written or said to me until I wrote to her this week.
So, for myself, what can I do? I will just not accept having this person with her pocket full of my money while I feel like I'm dying every day and I can't see or think straight due to my neurological condition.
I am looking for the best outcome for me, and not for me and my partner anymore. What can I do to protect myself in this situation? What are the possibilities of having all this money spent here and the past rents, charged full price, reimbursed? What is the best course of action I can take?
Sorry for the typos and confusion. I struggle to see and I have severe brain fog because of my condition.
Thanks in advance for your time.

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I’ve (23 F) been dating my (25M)boyfriend for about a year now. He’s a really great person and we have really similar values and morals. The only thing is he is best friends with a girl he used to date (they were never official).
I don’t mind that he’s friends with her per se, they were friends before I met him and he’s always had friends that are girls. The issue I have is he will tell “white lies” about how much he sees and texts her and what they do when they’re together. For example he said that they met up for a few drinks last week and then he went back to his alone, but she’s posted on her facebook a picture of the tv at his apartment and they were sat really close together by the looks of the photo. He also previously lied about what he was doing when he was hanging out with her before until he let it slip a few weeks later. This has obviously eroded my trust some what, what I wonder now is should I just let it slide as he is probably trying to save me worrying. Or shall I take it for what it is - he’s lying to me and end things. It’s confusing me as I don’t mind that he hangs out with her, so why would he lie about it? In fact the fact that he lies or omitts the truth is the one thing that makes me worry.
TL:DR - boyfriend lies about what he does with girl best friend, is he saving face or should I end things?

I have been trying to buy my little brother a copy of minecraft for over 2 hours now. I am a tech savvy person and its really not like I dont know how this stuff works, but the thing is ive been trying to be completely above board with microsoft, mojang, and xbox this entire time and I just wish I was not for the whole process of this purchase.
​
My brother is 9. Meaning he is at the age that minecraft is rated at, 7+. Considering the fact that he is of the rated age of minecraft, none of the COPIUS amounts of checks for verification should really be there.
First off, I make him a gmail account, then a microsoft account. Now here's the thing, microsoft detects that he is 13 and under because I put his real age in. because of this, he is required to have a parental account linked to him and Im forced to have a family account with him. I find this all to be reasonable enough, and it is done by simply logging into my own account.
I really thought this would be the end of it. I would maybe adjust permissions here and there and it would be fine and dandy. But no.
I go to minecraft.net and log into his account to just buy minecraft and get on with it. But turns out, since he is under 13, he needs a family member to approve the purchase. Ok, fine. but how?
There is a button telling you that a message has been sent to the adult about the request but it does not say whatsoever where this message has been sent, instinctively I thought it would appear in my email as some sort of one time code, 10 mins pass, nothing turns up. Turns out, googling this issue, I have to install a fucking app to even get this notification. ok so I do, I install the app on my phone, logging in and going through 2FA again, and also have to deal with microsoft aggressively trying to take over my phone's autofill, but I did it, and nothing comes through, I wait 20 mins, nothing happens on the stupid app. so I try again, from opening the WINDOWS STORE on my own computer and get the app there. go through 2FA AGAIN to finally see the notifcation on my top right for that request to buy minecraft. Neat. except wait, it is asking for it in dollars, not in my currency, Philippine peso. I thought this would be fine, but later on it asks for my card details in the US, which im not based in. I thought I should be above board with this, and googling tells me I can change this by logging into my own microsoft profile and adding payment details there.
I do this, and yes I could change to PH there, GREAT. Finally, I can give them my money and just buy the game, but WAIT A SECOND, my payment information is still not yet on the family desktop app. its been another 20 mins, and the notification comes through on my phone, where I think maybe itll be updated there, but I never figure out of it does update overthere, because upon clicking the approve button, it opens up a window to what seems to be microsoft store page and 404's. fucking brilliant.
Turns out, on Minecraft.net, I have to switch the region youre trying to buy minecraft from from US, to whatever country, THEN hit F5 to refresh the page, and THEN you can press the button to request the parent for consent, and then finally everything will work to the correct country. Christ almighty, I thought I was done, just buying the game and launching minecraft for my little brother so we can play LAN.
Except, no.
Turns out, now that this computer is tied to someone who is younger than 13, literally every single app that is opened is tracked and flagged by microsoft for being a potentially bad app. and so, now, I have to fucking approve every single app that I open on the mobile app, and I cant even approve them globally, it has to be done case by case and is really slow since it works as some sort of DRM or something. so I cant run the installer, because the installer requires access to the Microsoft store, and I guess it just cant get the correct permissions? So it errors out until I try to get the installer directly from the microsoft store, but since the store is so dogshit, its just constantly stuck on pending and I cant stop it for some reason.
In the end I try to restart his computer in an attempt to force stop the "pending" thing with the minecraft installer and of course, I get a forced windows update.
AAAAAA
...after the restart, the windows store worked, I got the installer, and I ran java edition to try it out, see if it works. I tried buying it for him at 12:30 when I arrived home from school, it is now 2 o clock, and I had a class at 3. so I just wanted to see if things were ok. and of course, I see that MULTIPLAYER IS GREYED OUT.
Like the one thing I wanted to do with him is to do LAN, but he cannot lan with me if multiplayer is greyed out. at this point I was too frustrated to try and I go to school for my class and deal with it when I come back.
When I come back I do some googling to see what I can do, the minecraft sceen tells me to go to my brother's microsoft account settings to get it fixed, but nothing of the sort seems to come up at all in regards to that in the settings dashboard. I do even more googling but the articles keep talking about an Xbos family app? I already have a microsoft family app and minecrafts diagnosics are tracked in the family app so I think the permissions are somewhere there. I keep looking for a solid 30 minutes now, and I come to realize, oh shit XBOX FAMILY APP IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT APP.
WHY is it on a different app? why do I need two?? OK, fine, ill download it. But, to my utter shock, the Xbox Family Settings App, is NOT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY. And the kicker? THERE IS NO DESKTOP ALTERNATIVE.
I am completely baffled. If I wanted to keep above board with all of this, I would have not only gone through this tedious process, but in the end I would have only had a java edition or bedrock edition account that is effectively useless as it can only play multiplayer because I cant get the xbox family app in any legal way. This is utterly unacceptable.
Who am I even gonna complain to? there are 3 different entities involved here, mojang, microsoft, and xbox, who would I even speak to to try and get any of this resolved???
I'm stunned.
​
TL;DR legally buying a copy of Minecraft for a young person is littered with constant 2FA checks, parental control shenanigans, and app bloatware that is imposed for zero reason whatsoever other than to inaugurate you into the Microsoft ecosystem. If you want to have a smoother experience, it would be easier to just lie about said young person's age.

Hi friends.
Sorry for the long post lol.
I've (25 F) been with my boyfriend (27 M) for 3 years, known him for 7. I've always known he has OCD and I know the details of all the times his OCD has ruled his life in the past.
When we started dating, his OCD was minimal and it didn't really affect our lives. About 2 years ago, I started to notice that it was getting slowly worse, and he was starting to struggle more and more. I suggested therapy but he brushed it off and was clearly in denial that he needed help. Over the course of 18 months, things got worse and worse. He began to live in a state of near constant anxiety, and due to his extreme fear and panic, I regularly got snapped at. Clothes had to be washed multiple times, there were corners of his flat I wasn't allowed anywhere near, food I prepared got thrown away, and there was one time he tried to get me to wash my deceased dad's jumper (he passed away 16 years ago and I have a couple of his jumpers that I don't wear, I just keep and try not to wash too frequently for sentimental reasons). When we moved in together, there were bags of things all over the flat that I wasn't allowed to go through and unpack. We ended up just cramming bin bags of his things in various corners of the place because he couldn't touch them and I didn't want them sat in the middle of the living room. Throughout this time, I was still regularly accidentally doing things wrong by touching things I didn't know he perceived as contaminated, resulting in him snapping and even shouting at me. It's important to add that while all of this was going on, I was having weekly EMDR therapy sessions for C-PTSD, so I was struggling with my own mental health and actively putting in immense amounts of effort to heal. I have since mostly recovered.
It wasn't until September last year that I couldn't take it anymore and told my boyfriend I would not renew our tenancy and I would move out if he didn't get back into therapy. After months of begging and helping him find a therapist, he finally got into therapy in January of this year, 18 months after I initially suggested it.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend was not honest with his therapist, and she was under the impression that his OCD was minimal and he just needed a bit of help. He put a wall up with her and then complained that he wasn't getting better.
About 2 weeks ago, I reached a new point of desperation. I found myself dreading my boyfriend's return from work because half of the time he would bring a black cloud into our flat with him. I found myself avoiding him, staying quiet around him, shrinking myself down around him, all in fear of setting him off and getting snapped at. I've also found myself losing empathy for him and losing my temper with him. I used to be so patient and calm and do everything I could to help him, but now I'm so exhausted and so fed up of his constant anger, I can't cope. We don't do date nights anymore, and I've found myself turning away from him in bed and sitting on the other end of the sofa when we watch TV in the evenings.
I finally reached out to his sister and met her for lunch last week. She's not only very aware and experienced with my boyfriend's OCD, but she's also got 2 psychology degrees and has been working in mental health since graduating. I don't know why I didn't go to her sooner, but she's helped lessen the burden on me and is meeting up with my boyfriend once a week. She's also been there for me to talk to if I'm stuggling or don't know how to manage a situation. My boyfriend and I also wrote letters to his therapist so we could accurately describe how bad his OCD is without him putting a verbal wall up, so now she is aware and is going to modify her approach with him and has also suggested some extra coping mechanisms. My boyfriend has also spoken to a doctor and is increasing his medication ever so slightly just to see if that helps.
All of this sounds great, right? Sounds promising. But I am so exhausted. I am so burnt out. My boyfriend's sister just messaged me to check how I am and I burst into tears. I'm not currently working (job market is hellish) so I'm home all day. I try to do nice things for myself (I go running, I read, journal, meditate, play animal crossing, etc.) as well as doing all the cooking and cleaning, but I just feel like a shell of a person. I just started crying when I got into bed last night and I don't even know why. I wake up miserable and exhausted every day.
What do I do? My boyfriend has just started getting a significant amount more support and help but we won't see any changes for a little while as these things take time.
Leaving him is not on the cards because 1) I don't want to and 2) that would just make him even worse and I will not cause him pain when he is already suffering.
Thank you in advance and I'm sorry this is so long. I hope you're all having a lovely week so far <3

I recently got into a relationship with a girl I have no information on. I didnt know her history, past, or anything. i only slid into her dms because she went to school with one of my friends. from the get go i knew she had mental illness issues. maybe insecurities or anxiety or something, but i mean everyone does. i’m an over thinker and have my own issues like anxiety as well. but in the start of the relationship i told her i wanted to commit to her. she said i needed to show her that i was different than all the other guys, and i really did try. i stopped talking to other girls and only to her and devoted time and energy to her. one week into it i see her post a story time on her spam about how she tried to kiss a guy at a bar and he denied her. i confronted her about it and wanted to end things and she said she was truly sorry and my girl friends even said it sounded legit. so i gave her another chance(keep in mind we were not official yet). then after like two to three weeks after we started dating she turned out to be pregnant. i was like wtf but upon reading it turned out that the pregnancy most likely happened before we went out on the date that started it all. over time i’ve learned about her, based on what she’s told me. she had an abusive ex who hit her and it was hard for her to leave him. i’m the guy that she’s with after him. she’s confided some personal stuff about her parents and how she was raised and it wasn’t perfect, not even baseline good. it’s sad. her parents hated each other and eventually divorced. the mom is depressed and the dad is engaged to another woman that she hates. the parents are well off though so she lives comfortably. anyways over time she’s shown that she get jealous very easily and made me unfollow my ex. she doesn’t like the fact that i have so many female friends but she says that that’s something that she needs to work over. i admired that. she doesn’t have that many friends (to my knowledge) so i never stressed really. but as the weeks have gone by i realized that she’s met almost all of my friends but i haven’t met anyone besides her 1 sort of friend. she’s gone out maybe like 4 times and she’s never invited me, but i always invite her out. now i get it, maybe her girlfriends don’t wanna have a random boyfriend ruining the fun, sure whatever i made peace with that. but the reason i write this post today is because this morning (yesterday) she took a trip to vegas. she went with her best friend from high school and like 2 guys friends that she has. i never like this idea but i knew it was my insecurities that were getting in the way. i tried to push the insecurity/jealousy down but i couldn’t help it so i called my friend that we had in common. i asked him if he knew anything about her and her past and he starts to tell me that she confided in him that she almost cheated on her ex (he was allegedly abusive) and it turns out that the body count that she gave me was half of what the real number was. he tells me that she’s a player and that she just wants me around so that i can make her feel good. fuck. that really didnt help at all. after getting off the phone with him i realized that i have 0 trust in her. am i crazy? i want to end things but he said that maybe she’s changed but i highly doubt it. sorry if the format is bad. i’m using my phone and its like about to give out.
Tl;Dr Learned things about a girl that I’m dating and have lost trust in her.

My dad died when I (16f) was 7 and my younger siblings were 4m, 3m and 2f. I was 8 when my mom met my stepdad. He came to live with us when I was 9 and we all got along. I really liked how happy he made mom and one thing that really won me over was nobody called him our dad or told us he was going to be our new parent. To me he was more of a friend and to my siblings he was more of a parent. But I was older, remembered dad really well and didn't ever express an interest in having another dad.
Two years ago things started to change. My siblings all call stepdad 'dad' and adoption was mentioned. I have never called my stepdad 'dad' before and I don't ever introduce him as my dad. He's always been John. But I don't look at him the way my siblings do. They know about our dad, he's talked about, photos around the house and stuff, but to them John is the dad they know so they have a very different bond with him. And I think he's really good to my siblings and me and our mom and I know he was so happy when my siblings started calling him dad. It happened slowly but it happened.
My mom asked me a few weeks after the whole adoption talk started how I felt about John becoming my dad. I told her it wasn't ever going to happen. To me he's John. He's not my dad and I don't think of him in that way. My mom suggested I could "try out" calling him dad and see how it would make me feel. I told her I didn't want to. That it wasn't the relationship I have with John. A few months later while we were ice skating he asked me why I didn't join the conversation about adoption and I told him because I didn't want to be adopted so I didn't think it was a conversation I should jump into. He told me he would in a heartbeat and I said I know, but I don't want it. He asked me if he could do anything for me to want that and I told him honestly that there wasn't and I'd rather he just keep being John.
This stuff has become more real now and my mom has mentioned it to me a lot. Like she brings it up every few weeks. John sometimes makes comments about loving me as his daughter and stuff too and how he'd love to be my dad. My siblings all asked John to adopt them officially for his birthday last month and I chose not to be part of that. It upset my siblings. But when my mom and John saw my name missing from the question, it also upset them. It became this great big talk. My siblings told me we should all be adopted together and if they get adopted but I don't our relationship will be different. I told them I wouldn't see them any different but they said they'd see me differently because I don't want our family to be really real. My mom and John talked to me separately after that and begged me to reconsider. John told me he loved me so much and just wanted to be my dad too. But I still say no and now all these relationships have changed.
AITA?

So my debit card also acts as a credit card, which I'm sure in 2024 all of them do - which means I use it for everything I purchase, including subscriptions, some of which historically have been very hard to cancel.
A week ago I bought a sweater online and unbeknownst to me, I was signed up for a $39.95usd/month subscription to something called "Dales Shop". I googled this and it turns out A LOT of people have been fraudulently charged by these people and don't know why. Just from some googling, the consensus is that they are scammers who create fraudulent charges after the fact for people who buy from their online store.
So I went to my bank and filed a fraud claim to hopefully get my money back. The teller was understanding and declared my debit card fraudulent which means no charges will ever come out of it again. She issued me a new card and all is well.
Coincidentally I just got paid today and the feeling of knowing that the money I have is the money that will stay there until I say otherwise is a great feeling. I haven't signed up for anything new, nor do I really intend to. I'll get Spotify but that's it.
Looking back, I realized how little of a handle I had on things. I had no idea when my charges for various things would come out and was often shocked that I all of a sudden had less money.
It feels good knowing I can start fresh.

Some background on why I think I have ADHD
My whole childhood I have been struggling with focus. I remember in kindergarten that I never did my homework and my teacher forced me to do it on the spot and I was crying because it was quite painful for my brain to focus. During primary, school I never did my homework and I would always get canned as I was in a vernacular school which is more strict.
I could only do homework if someone sat with me and did it with me together, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to focus. My mom avoided going to my school report card day and sent my dad instead because she was so embarrassed on all the complaints of me being a difficult student. Despite this I got straight As because I was smart and my tuition teacher would really do a lot of one on one work with me. Secondary school was the same but grades got worst. Fast forward I only survived uni because because I studied media and 97 percent of my grades were project based but on my final sem I failed my research and had to retake it for another sem because I was struggling with the writing. No one knows that I always struggle with my teachers a lot, sending things late making excuses and always last minute work.
Personally my emotions are everywhere and I cry a lot and people say I’m sensitive so I don’t express myself. I literally just start bawling if someone asks me something personal even if it isn’t something sad as long as it’s something personal for me. I walk alot constantly, it’s the only thing that calms me and I listen to alot of music with earphones on. Noises in general distract me and I’m very sound sensitive when I’m doing my work.
Work has been really hard and I can’t focus and keep getting distracted as I have so many things on my to do list and if someone interrupts me I’m doomed as I forget abt it and suddenly remember the next day. Or few days later due to having many tasks. I’m only able to deliver my work as it has many deadlines so I really feel the pressure and have to deliver otherwise I cant (like my personal goals are non existent due to this)
This was hard for me all my life but last November I started having negative thoughts. The word “rape” popped into my mind and it just didn’t go away. It was tormenting me for months even until now day and night and every where I go… So in February I decided to get diagnosed for ADHD or whatever I have because I really couldn’t take it anymore.
They gave me an appointment which was today at HKL and I cried a lot during my appointment. I didn’t mention the “rape” word torment to my doctor as I was not ready as she’s a stranger to me and also I was just crying a lot while answering all her questions. But I told her all my above symptoms but she kept asking abt my self esteem and etc.
Towards the end she told me I have some childhood trauma and I don’t have adhd and that there’s no mental disorder which I guess is good idk. She said to diagnose ADHD I need to bring a parent or a teachers report from my old school. She was quite reluctant actually to proceed further and kept asking me what to do. I was hopeless as I came to her for help but she was asking me. I felt quite dismissed by her as she seemed like I was wasting her time but I told her I was open to coming for another talk therapy session as I feel that I’m doing this for myself.
I don’t really know what to do because when I tried to tell my mom last year and was sobbing, she said I don’t have it and she dismissed me, she went on to talk abt her childhood instead. I’m not sure if my old school would have had a report on this. I’m not sure if any of you faced this but I don’t know where to go or what to do. My life seems to be circling and always ending up at the same point. With people dismissing me at every corner.
Any advice would be helpful as I’m going through this alone and I’m really trying not to give up on myself.

Hidehi!! I'm Amélie, 13 years old ( Almost 14!!! ) and I'm from The Netherlands! I already placed something on here, but since it disappeared and I'm still looking for a pen pal, I do it again! I'm looking for a pen pal around my age to exchange beautiful creative cards and letters with, for example with drawings, stickers and poems in it, but aswell someone to build up an amazing friendship with, and get to know them alot!!
Sum Things about me!!

• I'm very crazy and lazy
  
• My styles are Y2K, kawaii and aesthetic
  
• I like spool knitting, writing, drawing, singing, watching tv, playing games, penpalling and much moree
  

Okayy that's a bit about me!!
I really hope I get a pen pall!

Long story short:
* Like everyone else, I had doubts before purchasing any of his courses, so I’ll mention the main points that were important to me before buying it (more on this when I talk about the four main problems I faced in my journey of self-development and attraction):
* Is the course worth it? Considering the impact it has had on my life, my answer is a resounding YES.
* Is there a cost-benefit balance? Absolutely yes.
* Will it help me in all areas of my life? Yes, especially with power dynamics. This course will offer you valuable insights that you can apply in any area of your life.
* Do the techniques and strategies really work? Yes, they do. However, like any course, the key is to you apply what you've learned and it also depends on the time and effort you're willing to invest to achieve lasting changes
Important note: I don't have any kind of relationship with Lucio or anyone on his team, and no one paid me to do this review, much less to share such intimate details. I am doing this of my own free will because I want to thank him for all the knowledge he has provided me, and I believe this could be useful for him and for anyone looking to determine whether what he teaches is useful or not. This review is not going to be directly about his courses; it is going to be about all the resources on TPM (The Power Moves), and specifically about the impact they have had on my life. Consider it more of a testimonial and also a personal opinion.
The following review is quite detailed, and really long. I really believe that writing less would strip away a lot of depth and context. I don’t expect everyone to read it entirely, but maybe it can offer some perspective to someone interested in buying the course. I’m not a special person (I mean like someone famous, or with a lot of academic titles, or any of that); I’m just a regular guy looking to improve the quality of my life and achieve enough economic prosperity to help the people I love most live the life they want, help those in need, people, animals…and if possible, gain valuable knowledge that helps me in my work as a psychologist. Nothing satisfies me more than seeing the faces of people when, with some time and effort, they realize they can do things they never thought possible and feel proud of themselves for achieving it. I also haven’t had it easy in my romantic life, and I’d like to find a healthy person who is also motivated to be a better human being and have a peaceful love. Learning about power will just be a means to contribute my little bit to this world. I’m not a writer, but I’ll try to outline what I consider to be the most important points to give you another perspective to consider, if you want to buy this course. My native language is Spanish, so due to the length of the text and my lack of skill in “speaking” another language, I decided to use ChatGPT as a translator (since I feel it does a better job than Google Translator), and I’ll make the necessary adjustments to make myself better understood.
For most of my life, I lived in deep loneliness and experienced a lot of abuse from people. I never understood why, no matter how many good things I did for others, I received mistreatment in return. My social programming whispered to me, “Do good things for others, and they will be good to you”, “Give to others what you would like to receive,” among many other things. But as time went by, I slowly fell into despair. Since I was 8 years old, I’ve had suicidal thoughts, strongly influenced by my social/romantic life. Eventually, I began to harbor unhealthy beliefs that took root in my way of thinking. For example, I thought I had to make enormous efforts to maintain the “affection” and “acceptance” people “had” for me. I also believed that if no one, not a single person, treated me with respect, it was because that was what I deserved. If no one was interested in who I was, it was because I was worth so little that I couldn’t ask for more from life and should be grateful for the crumbs of “love” I received. Regarding my love life, during my first 19 years, not a single person showed interest in me. I’m not extremely attractive, but based on social feedback, I’d say I’m slightly above average. Perhaps my short height would be the one physical trait that works against me, as I’m 1.63 meters or, as you might better understand, I’m 5’4”. As for internal traits related to girls, I treated them well, was respectful, showed interest in them, helped them, dedicated a lot of my time, and was unconditionally there for them through good and bad times. I was many things that, according to movies and the opinions of many girls (based solely on what they said they wanted), I thought would bring me plenty of women, and yet, not a single soul wanted to be with me. What I did achieve with the girls I liked was becoming their best friend. And so, I spent my days and nights listening to the girls I liked cry over aggressive men who mistreated them physically and emotionally and/or cheated on them with other girls. I didn’t understand it; I had a good set of values and not just with them but with everyone. I considered myself a good guy, competent in some areas, and was unconditionally there for them, and yet they preferred to be with clearly violent men. In one of the moments when I felt most miserable, the following happened: I liked a girl and expressed it to her, and although she initially reciprocated, a month later, she left me for someone else and started dating that person. In something very similar to therapy, I ended up helping her for almost three years to improve her relationship with her aggressive partner.
Here, I’d like to say something (nothing to do with the situation, but anyway, I wanted to share those thoughts with you): two of the worst things I was made to believe were: “You don’t have to change; someone will come and love you just as you are,” and “Romantic love is something that just happens naturally, stop looking for it. It will come to you.” Neither of these things ever happened, and both are awful, unempathetic and limiting mindsets.
Eight years ago, after spending some time in a psychiatric hospital due to suicidal ideation, I decided to completely change my life and committed to my personal growth. Every day without exception, I studied and applied the concepts I was learning in my spare time, while studying to one day become a psychologist. I bought books, courses (even from very prominent figures in the world of seduction and self-development that you would easily recognize). When I didn’t even have money to eat, I downloaded them from pirate sources, but I always found a way to keep progressing. I had many virtual teachers who helped me grow in different aspects, and I’m very grateful for the knowledge they provided me that helped me climb out of that black hole. Like many who embark on this journey, I reached a point where, no matter how much I read and took courses, there was nothing new to pull me out of my stagnation. Everything was the same. I had to constantly review new resources and listen to endless hours of videos to find a needle in a haystack. For me, it was no longer worth paying for a full course if what I was going to found was something I had likely already learned (a lot of times for free). Although I sought to develop on all levels, here I will emphasize the romantic part more. Generally, these learning resources had a couple of problems: the first is that I’ve never been the kind of person who wants to date multiple girls; I’m more the type of guy who seeks a stable partner. The second problem was that many people who teach dating skills ask you to have a very high energy level and I’m a very calm and rather introverted person (not shy, introverted). I don’t want to pretend to be excited or become friends with everyone around me to increase my social value (it’s very exhausting and not worth it as a long-term strategy). The third problem is that the advice of many people who want to promote healthy relationships (some of them psychologists), although well-intentioned, makes any spark that generated attraction nonexistent, generating very predictable behavior (in the bad way) among other things. – certainly, those tools are important for a healthy relationship, but they won’t necessarily make someone feel attracted to you (I find it unlikely). They are more of a positive complement that can help increase value when there is already attraction. After a while and thanks to Lucio’s reflections, I realized the problems and limitations that these gurus or psychologists, basically they are very “politically correct”. Finally, the last problem I found is that none of them addressed the true root of my problem. No matter how much I improved in all aspects, I still didn’t see results with girls. Yes, the number of girls approaching me increased slightly, but none wanted to be with me for a long-term relationship. That missing ingredient is called “power,” and although briefly mentioned in those courses, videos, books, etc., it was never sufficiently well explained to understand why I wasn’t achieving results. My problem was that my balance between warmth and power was enormously unbalanced. I was completely warm with people, but I didn’t have a clue about power dynamics (what Lucio would call “The King’s Servant). I ended up in the “good guy” category, a good guy who wanted to be bad and wanted to treat women poorly to see if he got results, but whose moral values never allowed him to do anything that would hurt or could hurt another person, even if it meant remaining alone (which, far from making me feel good or proud at the moment, it only increased my self-hate). I wanted to remain good, but being good got me nowhere. Adding to that, due to my upbringing, I developed an anxious attachment style (something I also hated for a long time because, objectively speaking, it’s certainly easier for an avoidant man to have more power in a relationship thanks to his natural tendency to fear emotional closeness and natural behavior to protect his independence; quick note: I think that behavior is far from perfect but from what I’ve seen at least they get more results with girls). I have been always considered too clingy and dependent.
Many girls who felt initial attraction to me after a while wanted me to stay in their lives, but never as their partner, only as a good friend. When I turned 20, I found my first partner. This girl was incredibly attracted to me at first, but as soon as I started prioritizing her and seeking closeness, when I set aside my power to be “truly myself,” she began to lose attraction and started to disrespect me. At some point along that path, I came across TPM, and I must say it was a pleasant surprise after years of stagnation.
Human beings are very complex, and because of this, it’s unlikely that a single teacher will “save” you from your social and/or romantic situation. But for me, the person who has influenced my life for the better the most is Lucio. Since I started this journey, I’ve been gathering bits of knowledge from each person that has contributed to who I am, but there have been two things that have totally changed my social life, and for me, both are equally important. The first would take a long time to explain and is more about inner work and pure reflection, but in terms of knowledge, if I had to erase those eight years and start over, I’d like it to be with the knowledge Lucio provides. Seduction University was the last course I bought a long time ago, and Power University will probably be the last course I’ll buy (for several years). I bought Seduction University quite some time ago (about two or three years) and am still learning; I’m just over 73% through the course. This amount of time might surprise many, but those who seek lasting changes in themselves and who are truly committed to deeply learning and integrating everything there until it becomes second nature, know it will likely take several months and probably years.
Having knowledge is not a magic cure; knowing something doesn't make you good at it. Changing deep aspects of one's identity is not as easy as many people seem to forget; it's slow, very slow, and also requires conscious and constant effort. The path of personal growth is not easy, but personally I don't expect it to be. It may take me several years of practice to consolidate all that knowledge, but I know with absolute certainty that it will be a great investment for my future. Going back to the main point, in my opinion, Seduction University and very likely Power University will give you much more value than what you'd get from a more well-known person's course, and at an incredibly affordable price. I know this, because I've been consuming content from many authors for 8 years (every day, each day of the past 8 years without fail). Honestly, I'm fortunate that it is priced so affordably. To be completely honest with you I don't earn much money, and, in my country, there is not much economic prosperity, there is significant inequality, and for me, paying for a course in dollars is comparatively much more expensive than for people who earn in dollars or other stronger currencies. And still, I believe it's totally worth investing in these courses.
One important thing I've learned over the years is that there are things your mind will not be ready to understand, and the good thing about that is as long as you commit to your learning, you will keep growing and progressing, and at some point when you revisit the material, you might understand those things you didn't “grasp” initially, or you might achieve more advanced things that your novice self couldn't properly do the first time you went through the material. You'll pay a price for one of these courses the day you decide to buy it (if you decide to do so), but the truth is that by the time you truly learn everything, so much time will have passed that, if you look at it from a very distant perspective (all the required time for you to really learn), you'll find that the benefits you will get will be arguably greater than those that Lucio and his team will have gotten. Another thing to keep in mind is that either Seduction University or Power University, if used well, will likely help you achieve more economic prosperity; on the other hand, Lucio makes sure to improve the course content, which guarantees even more growth over time. For me this justifies the annual payment to access the material again, which brings me to the next point: Lucio gives you a full year to access the learning material, and if you want to keep having access, he significantly reduces the price (probably in gratitude to those who trusted him and decided to buy the course). Also, keep in mind what I said about how it's very likely that the second or third time you take the course, you'll probably learn new things you were not prepared for before. Finally, it's a price that, in my opinion, supports all his work. He has spent a lot of time and effort reading books, articles, reviewing courses, making videos, writing in his blog, and much more, all for free. Even if you decided not to buy any of his courses, believe me, just by reading his articles, watching his videos, and reading the book reviews he recommends for specific issues, you'd already be avoiding wasting time on reading useless or unnecessarily complex things. For my part, I'm glad he was able to provide me with a way out of the stagnation I had; I really like that he also considers people who are looking for a stable relationship and not just those seeking to have more sexual partners (which is also very valid and respectable); I like that he teaches the "general rules and mindsets," allowing for personality flexibility since that way I don't feel compelled to be (or rather pretend to be) a very energetic and super sociable person to achieve good results with girls; I like that he is a person who does not seek or promote the use of the knowledge he has to harm people but focuses on teaching how to generate relationships that promote a win-win dynamic. Since I started to consume his content, my life has changed quite a bit. I definitely feel more respected, and all my relationships have improved on all levels, romantically, although I have not yet found a person with whom there has been enough compatibility to want to have that person as a stable partner, and I still have much to improve, I definitely feel that I have become more attractive to people. In my last job, considering there weren't many staff members (about 30-35 workers including supervisors and the manager), I ended up being (romantically/sexually) liked by 14 people (8 women, 6 men), and in that job, I dated my second partner. I still make many mistakes, and there are deeper issues that require professional help, but the truth is that my life has undoubtedly improved a lot. I am a person who really takes the time to learn and truly integrate into myself what I have learned, and it has taken me years to consolidate the knowledge in Seduction University. As I said before, I haven't finished it, and it will probably take me many more months (maybe years) to consolidate the information there and what I still have not read yet in the course (not to mention the hyperlinks he provides to dig really deep in some topics). I want to improve even more in my life, and that’s why I decided to buy Power University. From lesson one, I already started finding very valuable knowledge; I haven't gone far into the course, and it would be dishonest to give my opinion, but I feel that, like Seduction University, Power University will also be very worthwhile. The book "Ultimate Power" also has hidden gems (at the moment, I am reflecting a lot on what it explains about cultivating an antifragile ego). I decided not to buy more courses or books because it will probably take me more than a year to consume all the content and much longer to make it my second nature. Although I like to diversify my knowledge and will continue learning about synergistic topics about personal growth, I would like to prioritize finishing both courses (at least "the reading part" the "superficial effort part"), besides dedicating the rest of my efforts to deep-reflective inner work, developing a physique that I feel happy with, and creating my own business that will allow me to help more people and animals in the future.
I hope the knowledge you find in any of TPM’s resources changes your life as much as it changed mine. Of course, it’s important to learn from different people and not become obsessed with a single philosophy. There are things you won’t find in Lucio’s material that could be very useful in your life and your specific problems/challenges, and you shouldn’t overlook them. Additionally, learning from different people with different perspectives will help you be more flexible and have a better chance of achieving the things you want in life. Find someone who shares their knowledge with you and who makes you reflect, and when you notice that that person starts repeating ideas, it's time to move on and look for new people who can help you out of your stagnation. Remember, every piece is important along the way, and it's important to be grateful to every person you meet because everyone has a valuable lesson to teach you (especially when that person has a different perspective than yours).
I'll probably spend many more years learning from Lucio until I finish integrating the knowledge he offers (although as he will most likely keep adding more content and learning things on his own, I will surely visit his blog or YouTube channel from time to time like visiting an old and dear friend and teacher whom I admire and respect).
I would like to make a final mention to John from customer service. He is a charming person and attended to me very well every time I contacted customer service. It feels like talking to a good friend; the service is fast, he is respectful, he has manners, and from start to finish he was very attentive in keeping his word every time he told me he would respond within a certain time frame. You can't really get to know a person in customer service, but from all the times I talked to him, he seemed competent, warm, and generous. John deserves a raise; he’s a really great guy :)

Hi Reddit,
I'm a 35-year-old female, and I’ve had a close and supportive friendship with my best friend, "L" (female, 33), for nine years. Recently, our friendship has become strained due to her boyfriend, now fiancé, who disapproves of me.
I've been married for 11 years, which is not conventional. My husband and I are very supportive of each other and have different interests, so we don’t hang out often except for certain activities. His job also makes our days off different. We’ve had some rough times, but we’re working through them, and no matter what we are always looking out for each other and never stop each other from doing what we love.
Because of my chill, open lifestyle, and bubbly personality, L's fiancé views me as a negative influence on her. even thou i know her way before he did.
Her boyfriend has made derogatory comments about me, which she only mentioned after I pushed her to tell me what was wrong. L and I usually spend much time together because we work together and sometimes go to the gym or grab food after work. On weekends, we do other activities like beach or horse riding, and I had no issue with him joining us. However, after a few times when he joined us at the beach, where I met friends for football and paddle boarding, he started criticizing me and my driving skills and the routes I take. Soon after, he stopped coming with us, and L started acting weird. Eventually, I discovered he had called me a “hoe in an open relationship.” and claimed I did not respect my husband or myself because I was too friendly and attract men, which he thought would ruin his relationship with L.
This situation led to a heated discussion and a temporary break in our friendship. I needed to reconnect with myself, especially because she was always fighting with him whenever she was with me, making me feel like a burden. After a months, I felt okay and resumed communication with her, explaining why I needed a break. However, we significantly reduced our activities together (her choice i guess).
L tried to mend the situation by encouraging my husband and me to socialize with them, hoping to show our positive qualities as a couple. My husband refused after learning about her fiancé’s disrespectful behavior. Honestly, I wasn’t ready to socialize with a hater, either. Her fiancé’s controlling behavior goes beyond his opinions of me. He discourages L’s interests, like singing, and displays other red flags that she seems to overlook (which me & others has motioned) to which she fired back that we are not supportive.
Despite L’s efforts to defend our friendship against her fiancé’s attempts to drive a wedge between us, he wanted her to choose between him and me. She claimed she tried to keep everything that mattered, but I was wrong. After our break, we were good for the next six months, even though we didn’t hang out as much (4 times). Whenever we did, she would fight with him and leave early or without saying goodbye, just leaving a message.
My birthday was approaching, and every year as a tradition, L and I have dinner together to celebrate before having a party with other friends. Two weeks before my birthday, I asked her to attend dinner on Friday or Saturday which my husband was to plan for us, she agreed. Two days later, she asked to confirm if it was happening and where. I said I would let her know once my husband confirmed the plans (this is very normal as i inform her always 1 day before). She kept asking the same question daily, which was unusual for her. Finally, she admitted that her fiancé wanted to leave the city for a few days and needed to know if our plans were confirmed. I canceled so she could go with him, but they didn’t go at the end. and that didn't feel great for me.
A week before my birthday, I asked her and other friends to keep their Sundays open for a pool brunch my husband was planning for us. Everyone, including L, confirmed, and she even added, "Count me in +1," assuming I’d be okay with her bringing her fiancé. I was mad but decided to let it go for her. A few days before the event, she messaged me saying she might be unable to come because she had a minor surgery and couldn’t swim. I was shocked she hadn’t mentioned the surgery before and asked why she didn’t tell me. She replied that she didn’t have to tell me everything and that I didn’t need to come. I was mad and asked if it was because of him. She yelled, accusing me of not understanding how much I hurt her by taking a break and moving on, while she didn’t.
She blamed me and our friends for not being supportive, even though we had helped her in the past. For example, she lived with my husband and me for almost a year rent-free when she was jobless only for 2 months. Her fiancé had issues with most of our group despite our welcoming attitude. She kept making excuses and gaslighting us for not being there for her since she got serious with this guy. I listened and asked how I could make things right. She dared to say "I needed to apologize for taking a break to care for myself and moving on while she didn’t". I calmly refused to apologize for taking care of my mental health, knowing how much I had worked on myself. If she wasn’t okay with that, it was her issue.
She tried to be nice the next day, realizing she messed up, but I was a bit cold with her as I didn’t expect her to say those things, especially knowing how much I cared for her and what I had done for her. The day before my birthday, our friend supposed to pick her up before picking me up. When I came down, she wasn’t there. I asked my friend if she was coming, and he said no. I messaged her, asking if she was coming or not. She said yes, but later, as her fiancé wasn’t ready. We went ahead, and three hours later (the brunch is for 4 hours), they finally showed up. Her fiancé didn’t say a proper hello and started complaining about wanting to sit at a table instead of the poolside beds we had booked. Despite arriving three hours late, she had the nerve to ask me to move to accommodate him. I refused and suggested they sit at the table if they preferred.
I saw them arguing a few times, and she kept coming back and forth between the beds and the table. When dessert was served, I decided to join them at the table to be the bigger person. Her fiancé picked up his phone and didn’t speak to anyone. When he decided to leave, he gestured for her to follow him and walked away without saying goodbye.
That was the last straw for me. She seemed okay with his behavior as if it is normal, and there was no way we could convince her that he was mistreating her. I messaged her, saying I didn’t blame him but blamed her for ruining my day and trying to force us to adjust our boundaries for him. She didn’t acknowledge my message. And the next day, she sent me a message to remove my brother’s car from her parking (the car had been parked there for two years without issue). I removed the car and stopped all communication with her and blocked her everywhere. we work with each other, so we are keeping professional.
FYI: This guy has told her in a message that I saw accidentally. Quote his exact message: "you don’t deserve to be a mother if you associates with this people (AKA - any of us), as we have no values and brings only shame and “cockroaches” to her perfect relationship.
I am disappointed and feel sorry for wasting so much time and effort on someone I never knew, apparently.
I want to make sure that i will not look back. hence am asking advice if you think i wronged her in any way?

I applied to work as a staff tech in a lab doing work that is my area of interest. This had been a PI on my list of possible PIs to apply to work with when I eventually pursue a PhD. This was a 30+ person lab where the technicians are mentored more by post-docs than by the PI.
I underwent two interviews. One was a quick screening interview with three people from the lab, and then the other was a half day of interviews with a dozen different people in the lab. I never met with or communicated with the PI. The PI however did set up calls with my references, and I'm told by one reference this PI seemed very interested in me. This reference also told me this PI is a very nice individual that they've had prior experience with and would be a good person to work for. This reference acted like I had nothing to worry about. After two weeks had passed, I reached out to the main postdoc I'd interviewed with asking for any updates. They let me know they were moving on to other people.
I'm tempted to send an email to the PI and just write something along the lines of that I would appreciate if they would keep my resume in mind if another position becomes available or if another post-doc/project in the lab is in need of a tech with my skillset. Maybe with a line that I know this lab would be an excellent learning/growth opportunity for me in my area of interest. This is especially with the chance that the postdoc may have made this decision on their own, while the PI might still be interested in me. I know there's also a chance that another person they spoke with, the PI that I am leaving, may have bad-mouthed me in their call. I strictly did not list this person as a reference, but the hiring PI was more interested in hearing from my current PI than from anyone else. My rejection may be more to do with this current PI than just that there were a lot of great candidates. They acknowledge I've done great work and I get along with coworkers just fine, but that PI is definitely frustrated with me for not being happy in/wanting out of the dead-end position. I'd communicated for several months about burnout/working conditions for the position/lack of opportunities with this position and they wouldn't listen...With this possibility of having been bad-mouthed, I'm more tempted to just take the loss and move on without reaching out, embarrassed by whatever this bitter PI could have said to a PI that I was actually excited about. The current PI says they only said positive things to the PI of interest, but they did tell me prior to their call that they would speak both positively and negatively if asked.
This PI of interest is also incredibly busy running such a large lab and may not even get around to reading or responding to an email like this from me. I'm just looking around at other positions and am not seeing any that are as much of a match as this was for me..

Another post about my former friend. You know, the fact she treated me like shit is one thing. But another thing is that i got to see how she lives. You know what they say, right? Get some women friends. Yeah, this was a massive eye opener

• She had 6 ex boyfriends. And it's not like they were all awful. She just got bored with them. She also once bragged about having anal sex during a hookup. When we were hanging out, she talked about how she downloaded tinder after 4 months of being single. And it took her less than a day to get a date with this "fucking awesome man"
  
• She later said that she tried punching that guy in the face for no real reason other than her having a bad mood. Of course he got angry and left which she treated as a giant joke. "His loss, plenty fish in the sea". And yeah, she really treated guys as replacable cogs. And you know, she owes them nothing but they gotta put in the effort
  
• Yeah, zero respect for men. She got to complain about them all day. Nobody judged her for it. Men are this, men are that. Oh you know how men are. (Of course i was one of "the good guys"). Hell, she said that after every break up, she and her friend just tell each other how awesome they are and that the guy was an asshole and didn't deserve them. In the meantime she flipped out on me when i complained that women on tinder put nothing in their bios. This was the only negative thing i said about women, mind you. And it's not like i did it randomly. I said it after she told me to write my openers about women's bios and show them i am genuenly interested
  
• I once joined up and helped organise a birthday party she did for one of her gal pals. Just the fact that they organised it themselves. This was supposed to be a suprise. Everyone was buying some personalised gifts. Same when she was having a birthday of her own. Everyone was putting in so much effort. Meanwhile, on my birthdays i invite 20 people who give me an unenthisiastic "i'll see and let you know". Then they don't let me know and i have to ask them again. Then most people say they have something else to do and only 3 people show up at best. And i sure as hell don't get gifts.
  
• She didn't have a job. She spent all her time volounteering. Her parents paid for her. This absolutely didn't stop her from venting about how awful and hard the life of a woman is and that i have it fucking easy. Oh, and despite the life of a woman consisting of always looking for the signs of danger, she would get absolutely wasted at parties and go sleep over with dudes she just met
  

So my story goes I had a friend for two years who lived next door. We had feelings for each other and she’d come and hang out with me most of the week after work or other projects. She dated someone and I took back my feelings and he came to live at the house and we remain friends for that year,
after they broke up, she came back to my world and spend more time with me and then at some moment she began to undress and sit patiently next to me as we explored a bit of foreplay.
I asked her. I’d like to kiss her and she accepted and we made very passionate love that night , in the following days we juggle between friendship and feelings and then over the three months we got quite close but she was leaving to go to another country and in that time she was arranged to meet someone who they’ve been having conversation over the phone,
a little bit confused I continue to engage with this woman who is my friend who we had a very understanding Connection and clear communication or should I step away?
There was a few signs that gave me that possibility that she was either not feeling anything or it was just platonic However on our way down before I said I would take it to the airport.
We spent more time together. I met her family and we journey closer again in the feelings of making love and exchanging words. now we never had been in a relationship status more situationship knowing that she was going to Costa Rica , and possibly going to meet someone else there as she was going away for six months she left her stuff in my house and she said that she would not see anyone when she’s there.
I kinda did not believe that but I had to accept as I was giving her a lot of my attention more than she was giving me. I started to sense and perhaps maybe I’m just being used and that her previous partner who I knew well also felt this with her and she was not being honest.
When that came she was feeling nervous and I asked her. Why are you feeling nervous? She said it’s because I am falling in love with you and I can’t do that.
I need to go away and don’t want to make this difficult for myself then I mentioned what about those other times she mentioned? Why do you think I was pulling away? It’s because I did not want to get attached and I did not want you to get attached because I’m going to Costa Rica
she made that very clear and that she wanted us to enjoy our time but keep it in a level of friendship.
I accepted but as she left I grew a deeper feelings and I was growing deep in the language of love using our pet names that we gave for each other , I wondered why however she never asked me to come to Costa Rica. I was capable of doing so I started to think. Maybe the other man was also the back of her mind and she had a possible connection with him over the conversations they had
providing her with a safe note to somewhere to stay as well as more financially secure than me two months later I sent her a call telling her I missed her.
I loved her and she replied. Hello Friend I have met someone now and and what turned into a friendship is blossoming into something more and now we are journey together love and light.
In that moment I had a freak out and mentioned to her well. Why didn’t you tell me it Was growing into something more weeks before why now …,
Her reply was because we were not boyfriend. girlfriend
She didn’t feel like she had to tell me anything about this man
I was well. We were just together for the last few months plus we were exchanging on the phone.
I don’t mind that you met someone but I don’t feel you really let me know in a thoughtful way for I had feelings she replied. I respect you had feelings
I was taken back by her wording as I was not really feeling the connection that we had before and the communication was poor and she always said she valued communication deeply. I felt like she was not been living up to that word so I text her again telling her well I don’t feel like you have communicated very clearly and almost feel like you’ve shut that down
Again she replied and her perspective. She did communicate Cleary in the beginning that she just wanted to be friends valued or friendship and and not meant to be hurtful. And that was it from there.
the classic response
I did the silly approach by Textung her. I loved her and all that jazz I realise there’s not much more I could do so I blocked her and removed her from Instagram and she was upset saying why did I do that? I told her because I don’t want to see someone I cared about in love being with someone else in the texting and so On it will suck .
just clearly putting up some of my boundaries she felt a little bit upset that I could not see this as a friendship and asked if she would take her things. I replied. You’re welcome to keep her things here and we’ll see each other later throughout the life enjoy your timing Costa Rica have fun and be well and I will see you again I’m sure and things have gone quiet.
Unfortunately I went on her Instagram to reconnect with her and I saw the love exchange with another man and from that point I’ve been working on myself trying to realise that perhaps there could be something more for us in the future or just to walk away from this ,
because it is a difficult situation for me right now seeing them in a romantic situation together or imagining them being together and myself struggling in a space where was spending a lot of time with her so what should I do in this situation? Should I just keep it as friendship and keep it open for possibility in the future if she takes comes back or do I just step away and just move on with my life and not worry too much about it and just remain friends?
It’s a bit confusing because I do feel quite deep for her and it’s quite upsetting that she doesn’t feel the same way at least I don’t feel she does cause she’s in Costa Rica having fun great job and she’s met someone fresh
part of me that the relationship was a rebound and the reason she didn’t want to go deeper within this type of relationship is that she may have felt she needed this time and place to go to Costa Rica just to let go of her story that was quite hurtful for her here and I also remind her of that story .due to the location I live ..
it’s been a month now and she did not text me

Back story - at my workplace we’ve only ever really given gifts for “big” birthdays, 18,21,30,40 etc and this is my 27th - so not a big deal
But we’re a fairly small team, and we’re rarely ever in for our actual birthdays (this is my first time being in work on my actual bday since starting 6 years ago)
Last year 2 of our team turned 30, so of course we got them gifts. The most recent birthday we had was for our apprentice who turned 17, this wasn’t a big birthday but we felt it would help him feel more welcome so got him gifts and a card too.
That started a conversation between me and my manager where we said we should start doing little gifts for everyone on all of their birthdays and agreed its just a nice thing to do.
Anyway, i came into work yesterday and no one had gotten me anything. The main thing that upset me about this was that i drive one of my colleagues into work everyday, he doesn’t drive so i pick him up every morning and just kind of thought he’d maybe use my birthday as a way to show appreciation for this (i dont ask him for any money or anything).
Ultimately, its not wildy out of the ordinary and i’m definitely not going to kick up a fuss about it. But i find birthdays quite depressing anyway and would be lying if i said it didn’t upset me and leave me in an off mood for the day.
Is this valid? or am i just overreacting?

Xuefeng
First of all, we have to admit that the Bible is the accomplishment of the Ephraim which loyally records the Jewish history, explains the relationship between the God, Devil and human beings to the furthest degree, and gives the direction the human beings should take.
The Bible, the Koran, the Buddhist Scripture and the Tao Te Ching are the eternal and effective treasures and collections of human wisdom, teaching us how to behave and develop into the higher level of life space.
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”. The first sentence in the Bible did tell the truth. But the things covered by the cossack may not be the holly things. And the people wearing the sacred cassock may not be the abbot.
The problem with the Bible is that the God it introduces is not the genuine Greatest Creator.
We have known that the Greatest Creator has the 8 features. The Greatest Creator is unique and exclusive, amorphous, neutral, mysterious, impartial, merciful, supremely powerful and intelligent. The wisdom of the Greatest Creator is revealed through its creation of universe order, designing of LIFE program and knowing of the past and the future.
Then, does the God in the Bible have the above-mentioned 8 features?
Let’s explain this with examples.
The Betrayal of Adam and Eve
According to the Genesis, Adam and Eve were instigated to eat the fruit on the Wisdom Tree forbidden by the God in the Bible. Because they have violated the order of the God (in the Bible), they were repelled out of the Eden.
It indicates that the God in the Bible is a. incompetent; b. improvident; and c. unjust.
He is incompetent because he was a loser at the beginning. The first couple of human he created betrayed him. So can we still say it is supremely powerful?
Can we still believe in a “person” who often loses? The Great Flood had killed most of the human beings. What happened to them afterwards? They still wouldn’t listen to his words. The Moses Ten Commandments are actually the directives of the God in the Bible. Can you tell me how many of them are obeyed by the human being? Actually not even one. The God in the Bible seemed to know nothing about how to control the human beings. The only measure it takes is to voice warnings and threats against the human beings. Thousands of years has passed, the human beings remain the same. Is there no means to control the human beings? Or is there some other force constraining this Almighty God? If this is the case, is this God not sole or exclusive? For thousands of years, the human beings have been violating hisorder. What is he waiting for?
The God in the Bible is improvident because he didn’t know that Adam and Eve were going to betray him or the development trend of what he had created. Is this God, who is not able to predict the future or the past, still reliable? If the Earth is going to get out of the Solar System and this God knows nothing about it, how can he save the human beings? How can this GOD administer the deities, Buddha, celestial beings and Devils when he found it difficult to control the human beings? How can he manage the spacious Universe?
The God in the Bible is unjust because it cannot tell wrong from the right and because it is unreasonable.
Why would Adam and Eve betray the God in the Bible? There are three major reasons. First, the genetic structure of Adam and Eve had faults, or was imperfect. The life created by this God was now its own constraint. This angered the God very much. It is just like the house built by an architect who put every efforts was fallen and hit his own feet. Is the house or the architect that should be blamed?
The second reason they betrayed is that they were instigated and seduced by the snake. Adam and Eve are humans while behind the snake was the Devil Satan. The energy and wisdom of human beings can’t match those of the Devil. This God didn’t punish the Devil Satan. Instead, it imposed inflictions on Adam and Eve and drove them out of Eden. Is it fair? If a rapist raped an 8-year-old girl, would it be fair to blame the girl for her sexual organ and weakness instead of bringing justice to the rapist?
The third reason of betrayal, which is also the most important one, is the damned Wisdom Tree that can tell the good and evil. Who has planted it in the Eden and why? It’s just like putting a poisonous sweet on the dinner table for the kids. Or it’s like playing the porn video for the young girls while teaching them to retain their innocence. Would a moral person do such a thing? Isn’t this “person” who planted the Wisdom Tree in the Eden has caused the betrayal of Adam and Eve?
Besides, does this God, who had created Adam and Eve, has other measures to take rather than driving Adam and Eve out of the Eden? Is it fair not to give them a second chance simply because they have made only one mistake? Does one mistake justify their life-long sins?
Jesus came to the Mortal World to atone for the human beings’ sins. According to the Bible, all the people have their “original sin”. Where does the “original sin” come from? Actually, they are inherited from Adam and Eve, the ancestors of human beings, whose sins were formed because they had eaten the fruit on the damned Wisdom Tree.
When we are born, we have the “original sin” inherited from Adam and Eve. The “cross” on our back was much too heavy. According to this logic, “the son of a thief is always a thief”, “the son of a criminal is always a criminal”, and “the son of an emperor is always an emperor”. That’s why in ancient China, in the feudal period in particular, “If a man committed crime, all his family members would be sentenced to death”, or “If a man attained the Tao, even his pets ascended to Heaven”. This also explains why the thrones can only be passed on to the next generations of royal families. This is because it complies with the logic in the Bible.
If somebody has sins, the God in the Bible and the Satan sined first. Is it humanitarian to inflict on billions of humans throughout the history simply because of the wrongdoings of Adam and Eve? Why not executing Adam and Eve and creating a new pair of humans at the time? Is creating a new couple so difficult for the God in the Bible?
All the people are born with sins. This is why each of us comes to the Mortal World to endure the sufferings. But the sins are not inherited from our ancestors. They are made by oursleves in the previous cycle of life. If we don’t have sins, we would all have become Buddha or celestial beings.
Ten Plagues of Egypt
According to the Exodus, when Moses and Aaron, in the capacity of the GOD in the Bible, asked the Egyptian Pharaoh to let the Israelis leave Egypt, they were refused. Consequently, the GOD in the Bible imposed 10 plagues on Egypt. 1. Plague of Blood The water of the Nile will be changed into blood. The fish in the Nile will die, and the river will stink; the Egyptians will not be able to drink its water. 2. Plague of Frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs. They will come up into your palace and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the houses of your officials and on your people, and into your ovens and kneading troughs. The frogs will go up on you and your people and all your officials. 3. Plague of Lice.The dust of the ground became lice, lice came upon men and animals. All the dust throughout the land of Egypt became lice. 4. Plague of Flies The houses of the Egyptians will be full of flies, and even the ground where they are. 5. Plague of Livestock Death The fifth plague of Egypt was an epidemic disease which exterminated the Egyptian livestock; that is, horses, donkeys, camels, cattle, sheep and goats; 6. Plague of Boils The sixth plague of Egypt was Shkhin. The Shkhin was a kind of skin disease, usually translated as "boils".; 7. Plague of Hail The seventh plague of Egypt was a destructive storm; 8. Plague of Locusts Locusts will devour what little you have left after the hail, including every tree that is growing in your fields.; 9. Plague of Darkness Total darkness covered all Egypt for three days 10. Death of the Firstborn The tenth and final plague of Egypt was the death of all first born in Egypt — no one escaped, from the lowest servant to Pharaoh's own first-born son, including first-born of livestock.
It is understandable that the God punished Egypt because Egyptian Pharaoh wouldn’t obey his order. However, it was unreasonable and went too far to kill the first-born of all humans and animals in Egypt. You can punish the Egyptian Pharaoh for his disobedience. Why inflicting on the common people? Even worse, the God would kill the kids of the girl slaves working as donkeys in the lowest rank. Can we still say the God behaving like this merciful? It was behaving without humanitarianism just like a Devil.
Even more abominable, the Pharaoh of Egypt wouldn’t let the Israelis leave mainly because the God had hardened the Pharaoh’s heart. Before the Ten Plagues came, the God in the Bible had done something. According to 7:3 in the Exodus, Jehovah told Moses, “And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and multiply my signs and my wonders in the land of Egypt.”
It means the God in the Bible had prepared a trap for the Egyptians, trying to find an excuse for the following plagues. In Exodus 8:19, “Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, "This is the finger of God." But Pharaoh's heart was hardened, and he did not listen to them, as the LORD had said.”. In Exodus 9:35, “And the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, neither would he let the children of Israel go; as the LORD had spoken by Moses.” In Exodus 10:20, “But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go.” In Exodus 10:27, “But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he would not let them go.” In Exodus 11:10, “And Moses and Aaron did all these wonders before Pharaoh: and the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go out of his land.”
It was the God in the Bible who let the Israelis leave Egypt. But it was the same God who had hardened the Pharaoh’s heart and sparked the conflicts so that the Israelis couldn’t leave Egypt easily. So what the God in the Bible was doing? It was encouraging the people to revolt while telling the authorities about the revolt and encouraging the government to oppress them mercilessly. Isn’t such a person a schemer and two-faced?
So is this the image of the Greatest Creator?
The Israelis Are the People of the Covenant
The Bible has the Old Testament and the New Testament. The part telling what happened before Jesus was born was called the Old Testament and the part telling things after Jesus was born was the New Testament. The Testament actually means agreement, covenant, and contract. The whole Bible is the agreement, covenant and contract between the Israelis and the Greatest Creator.
So here is a paradox. There are over 3,000 nations in the world and why the God has established the Testament with the Israelis? Does this mean the other nations are not the subjects of the God? If they are, why has the God only established the Testament with the Israelis while neglecting all the other nations? If they are not, what’s the origin of all the other nations? Are Adam and Eve only the ancestors of Israelis and not the other nations? The Israelis are created by the God. Does it mean the other nations are created by the Devil?
There are 1,656 years between the Genesis and the Great Flood. There are 857 years between the Great Flood and the Exodus. There are 396 years between the Exodus and the founding of the Israeli State. There are 510 years between the founding of the Israeli State and their captive to Babylon. There are 152 years between their imprisonment in Babylon and the reestablishment of Jerusalem. There are 450 years between the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the birth of Jesus. There are 2003 years between the birth of Jesus and today. So according to the Bible, the history of human beings is about 6,376 years.
According to the Bible, there were only 8 people survived the Great Flood on the Earth. They were the couple of Noah, their three sons and their wives. It means that 4,700 years ago, there was no one else living on the Earth except for the Noah family.
But this has brought some other questions. First, where do the American Indians come from? According to the theory of Continental Drift, America drifted away from the other continents. But it couldn’t happen within 4,700 years of time. Then how the Noah family reached America from the Middle East? After the Great Flood, there were only 8 members in Noah family. It was impossible for them to get dispersed. Noah couldn’t let one of his sons and his wife to cross the freezing Siberia and the Bering Strait to get to America.
Second, where did the African blacks come from? From the perspective of genetics, the blacks, yellows and whites have their separate ancestors. A couple of pure whites couldn’t generate the blacks and yellows. Even the evolvement couldn’t produce the blacks and yellows in 3,700 years of time. Besides, according to Darwin’s evolutionary theory, the survival of the fittest, could the Israelis able to write the Bible evolve into the African blacks? The blacks are not the matches of Israelis in the intelligence no matter how we exaggerate their abilities.
Now let’s come to the Chinese nation. The first Chinese King was born about 4,600 years ago. The story of Dayu‘s Flood Control happened about 4,200 years ago. It was impossible for the future generations of Noah to come to mainland China 100 years after the Great Flood. Even if they did it, how could they produce so many people who followed Dayu to control the flood?
Where does the Chinese nation come from? Are the Flood Control by Dayu were just the Great Flood?
From the perspective of the Bible, the biological evolutionary theory could never be accepted. But once we accepted the theory, it would deny the theory that the God created the human beings. But if we denied the evolutionary theory, there was no way to explain the origin of the blacks and yellows and we can’t say Adam and Eve are the common ancestors of all human beings.
The Story of Cain
The first child of Adam and Eve, after they were driven out of the Eden, was Cain, followed by Abel. “And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect.” Out of jealousy, Cain killed his brother Abel.
We want to ask the God in the Bible some questions, “Why do you favor the offerings of Abel instead of those of Cain? Is Cain killing his brother Abel not your fault? If you had never favored one of them, how could it arouse the jealousy of Cain? Why the people created by you had so many troubles? Adam and Eve wouldn’t follow your orders and their kids killed each other. As the God, you don’t have the ability to solve these problems? Or is it what you have designed?
Cain was a murderer and deserved the punishment. But you told Cain, “Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.”
So what kind of the justice standard is it? It is hardly understandable not to levy the punishment on the criminal. But it is even more understandable to have revenge of sevenfold on those who would punish the criminal. Is it protecting the criminal?
That’s why the few thousand years of human history were full of blood, violence and crime. The God in the Bible has been protecting the criminals.
“Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” Because Cain is a criminal, we can fully understand it as ““Therefore whosoever slayeth the criminal, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.””
We can conclude we had better become criminals because the criminals are protected and the good men are not. The good men have the risk of being revenged sevenfold.
The Prophet and the Dream
In the Bible, there are a large number of prophets and dreams. The prophets are the representatives of the God in the Mortal World. They have unimaginable wisdom and power, which sink the average people with average wisdom into the mist. If someone says, “I am a prophet”, should we believe him or not. If we don’t, we are standing against the God. If we do, how can we know the prophet is a fake or not?
Now let’s talk about the dreams. There are many dreams and dream analysis in the Bible, in particular in the Revelation. Of course, those who can analyze the dreams are all prophets. But they have also brought a lot of puzzles.
First, has the prophet had the dream at all? No one could see his dream and he could well compose some dreams and cheat us. If he really had the dream, was his analysis correct, or was he analyzing the dream on the reverse aspect?
I want to ask the God in the Bible, in the Old Testament, you used to talk directly with the human beings. Then why you stopped doing so later? Are the Adam and Eve on other planets also disobeying your orders? Why would you warn the human beings in the form of dreams? Why not tell us the truth directly? Don’t you have the ability to do so? Don’t you have time? Don you have some secret sorrow?
I can give many other examples to state that the God in the Bible does not have the features of being unique and exclusive, amorphous, neutral, mysterious, impartial, supremely powerful, merciful and wise as genuine Greatest Creator has.
So we can affirm that “the God in the Bible is not the genuine Greatest Creator”.

Throwaway because my boyfriend knows my main account.
TLDR, me calling him out:
chat 1
chat 2
chat 3
chat 4
_
My boyfriend has been great with our 1 month old, he visited us at the hospital every day when we were there, he takes over when I need help or a break, he finds her really cute, we sit and fawn over her during tummy time, laugh at her farts together and spends all his money on whatever she needs.
There's just been a few incidents that I can't get out of my head.

• Boyfriend was trying to call support for a service after they messed up. He was already angry about that and she was crying, so he angrily kicked her moses basket into the kitchen and slammed the kitchen doors. I came out of bedroom (was about to dry hair) to ask what was happening bc I heard slamming doors, to find her in the kitchen by herself in her moses basket screaming. I took her out and cuddled her and she instantly stopped crying.
  
• Again wouldn't stop crying (she's a bit of a velcro baby), and he grabbed her infront of his face, his grip was initially a squeeze, for about a second, and shouted at her to 'SHUT UP'.
  
• I called him out for doing this and he then just proceeded to not shout at her to shut up infront of me. He thought I was napping, and I heard it from the bedroom.
  
• I told him she was restless at night, and it was the weekend (I cover her weekday night times and he normally sleeps through her cries on weekends), but he wanted to try and help me. She was again restless, amd he got frustrated thinking it was milk she wanted even though she was refusing to drink. I can't get the image out of my head of him frustratedly and aggressively pushing her onto his leg and forcing her little chin down to take the bottle. Multiple times. I wanted to cry, it felt wrong. Turns out she was hot. We were warned about sleeping with the window open so tried to avoid it - but its British summer time, and really hot and we have to have the door closed because of the cat at night. I googled and opened the window and she's slept so well ever since.
  
• Whenever he does a nappy change he gets frustrated, especially if she does her party trick. I never get angry at her, she's just a baby, but he actively gets angry at her. It sets off my anxiety and I offer to take over every time.
  

These incidents replay in my head and I'm disgusted by him. They overtake any good things he's done. She's just a month old baby.. I called him out for these things and he got defensive and is also making me feel like I'm being dramatic for calling him out for these incidents. Maybe I am, I don't know. I just feel worried for my baby. I have a new job coming in and part of me wants to save an emergency fund just incase her and I need to leave. That feels extreme but, he's always had a bit of an anger problem. My heart is kinda breaking. I feel a bit ill when he cuddles me at night. I don't initiate 'I love you's anymore. I'm also paranoid to leave him alone with her but exhaustion hits and I need a break so it happens and I deep down worry, as he's proven he is capable of ignoring my requests and treating her how he wants to anyway.
Am I being dramatic..? :/.

Xuefeng First of all, we have to admit that the Bible is the accomplishment of the Ephraim which loyally records the Jewish history, explains the relationship between the God, Devil and human beings to the furthest degree, and gives the direction the human beings should take. The Bible, the Koran, the Buddhist Scripture and the Tao Te Ching are the eternal and effective treasures and collections of human wisdom, teaching us how to behave and develop into the higher level of life space. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”. The first sentence in the Bible did tell the truth. But the things covered by the cossack may not be the holly things. And the people wearing the sacred cassock may not be the abbot. The problem with the Bible is that the God it introduces is not the genuine Greatest Creator. We have known that the Greatest Creator has the 8 features. The Greatest Creator is unique and exclusive, amorphous, neutral, mysterious, impartial, merciful, supremely powerful and intelligent. The wisdom of the Greatest Creator is revealed through its creation of universe order, designing of LIFE program and knowing of the past and the future. Then, does the God in the Bible have the above-mentioned 8 features? Let’s explain this with examples. The Betrayal of Adam and Eve According to the Genesis, Adam and Eve were instigated to eat the fruit on the Wisdom Tree forbidden by the God in the Bible. Because they have violated the order of the God (in the Bible), they were repelled out of the Eden. It indicates that the God in the Bible is a. incompetent; b. improvident; and c. unjust. He is incompetent because he was a loser at the beginning. The first couple of human he created betrayed him. So can we still say it is supremely powerful? Can we still believe in a “person” who often loses? The Great Flood had killed most of the human beings. What happened to them afterwards? They still wouldn’t listen to his words. The Moses Ten Commandments are actually the directives of the God in the Bible. Can you tell me how many of them are obeyed by the human being? Actually not even one. The God in the Bible seemed to know nothing about how to control the human beings. The only measure it takes is to voice warnings and threats against the human beings. Thousands of years has passed, the human beings remain the same. Is there no means to control the human beings? Or is there some other force constraining this Almighty God? If this is the case, is this God not sole or exclusive? For thousands of years, the human beings have been violating hisorder. What is he waiting for? The God in the Bible is improvident because he didn’t know that Adam and Eve were going to betray him or the development trend of what he had created. Is this God, who is not able to predict the future or the past, still reliable? If the Earth is going to get out of the Solar System and this God knows nothing about it, how can he save the human beings? How can this GOD administer the deities, Buddha, celestial beings and Devils when he found it difficult to control the human beings? How can he manage the spacious Universe? The God in the Bible is unjust because it cannot tell wrong from the right and because it is unreasonable. Why would Adam and Eve betray the God in the Bible? There are three major reasons. First, the genetic structure of Adam and Eve had faults, or was imperfect. The life created by this God was now its own constraint. This angered the God very much. It is just like the house built by an architect who put every efforts was fallen and hit his own feet. Is the house or the architect that should be blamed? The second reason they betrayed is that they were instigated and seduced by the snake. Adam and Eve are humans while behind the snake was the Devil Satan. The energy and wisdom of human beings can’t match those of the Devil. This God didn’t punish the Devil Satan. Instead, it imposed inflictions on Adam and Eve and drove them out of Eden. Is it fair? If a rapist raped an 8-year-old girl, would it be fair to blame the girl for her sexual organ and weakness instead of bringing justice to the rapist? The third reason of betrayal, which is also the most important one, is the damned Wisdom Tree that can tell the good and evil. Who has planted it in the Eden and why? It’s just like putting a poisonous sweet on the dinner table for the kids. Or it’s like playing the porn video for the young girls while teaching them to retain their innocence. Would a moral person do such a thing? Isn’t this “person” who planted the Wisdom Tree in the Eden has caused the betrayal of Adam and Eve? Besides, does this God, who had created Adam and Eve, has other measures to take rather than driving Adam and Eve out of the Eden? Is it fair not to give them a second chance simply because they have made only one mistake? Does one mistake justify their life-long sins? Jesus came to the Mortal World to atone for the human beings’ sins. According to the Bible, all the people have their “original sin”. Where does the “original sin” come from? Actually, they are inherited from Adam and Eve, the ancestors of human beings, whose sins were formed because they had eaten the fruit on the damned Wisdom Tree. When we are born, we have the “original sin” inherited from Adam and Eve. The “cross” on our back was much too heavy. According to this logic, “the son of a thief is always a thief”, “the son of a criminal is always a criminal”, and “the son of an emperor is always an emperor”. That’s why in ancient China, in the feudal period in particular, “If a man committed crime, all his family members would be sentenced to death”, or “If a man attained the Tao, even his pets ascended to Heaven”. This also explains why the thrones can only be passed on to the next generations of royal families. This is because it complies with the logic in the Bible. If somebody has sins, the God in the Bible and the Satan sined first. Is it humanitarian to inflict on billions of humans throughout the history simply because of the wrongdoings of Adam and Eve? Why not executing Adam and Eve and creating a new pair of humans at the time? Is creating a new couple so difficult for the God in the Bible? All the people are born with sins. This is why each of us comes to the Mortal World to endure the sufferings. But the sins are not inherited from our ancestors. They are made by oursleves in the previous cycle of life. If we don’t have sins, we would all have become Buddha or celestial beings. Ten Plagues of Egypt According to the Exodus, when Moses and Aaron, in the capacity of the GOD in the Bible, asked the Egyptian Pharaoh to let the Israelis leave Egypt, they were refused. Consequently, the GOD in the Bible imposed 10 plagues on Egypt. 1. Plague of Blood The water of the Nile will be changed into blood. The fish in the Nile will die, and the river will stink; the Egyptians will not be able to drink its water. 2. Plague of Frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs. They will come up into your palace and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the houses of your officials and on your people, and into your ovens and kneading troughs. The frogs will go up on you and your people and all your officials. 3. Plague of Lice.The dust of the ground became lice, lice came upon men and animals. All the dust throughout the land of Egypt became lice. 4. Plague of Flies The houses of the Egyptians will be full of flies, and even the ground where they are. 5. Plague of Livestock Death The fifth plague of Egypt was an epidemic disease which exterminated the Egyptian livestock; that is, horses, donkeys, camels, cattle, sheep and goats; 6. Plague of Boils The sixth plague of Egypt was Shkhin. The Shkhin was a kind of skin disease, usually translated as "boils".; 7. Plague of Hail The seventh plague of Egypt was a destructive storm; 8. Plague of Locusts Locusts will devour what little you have left after the hail, including every tree that is growing in your fields.; 9. Plague of Darkness Total darkness covered all Egypt for three days 10. Death of the Firstborn The tenth and final plague of Egypt was the death of all first born in Egypt — no one escaped, from the lowest servant to Pharaoh's own first-born son, including first-born of livestock. It is understandable that the God punished Egypt because Egyptian Pharaoh wouldn’t obey his order. However, it was unreasonable and went too far to kill the first-born of all humans and animals in Egypt. You can punish the Egyptian Pharaoh for his disobedience. Why inflicting on the common people? Even worse, the God would kill the kids of the girl slaves working as donkeys in the lowest rank. Can we still say the God behaving like this merciful? It was behaving without humanitarianism just like a Devil. Even more abominable, the Pharaoh of Egypt wouldn’t let the Israelis leave mainly because the God had hardened the Pharaoh’s heart. Before the Ten Plagues came, the God in the Bible had done something. According to 7:3 in the Exodus, Jehovah told Moses, “And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and multiply my signs and my wonders in the land of Egypt.” It means the God in the Bible had prepared a trap for the Egyptians, trying to find an excuse for the following plagues. In Exodus 8:19, “Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, "This is the finger of God." But Pharaoh's heart was hardened, and he did not listen to them, as the LORD had said.”. In Exodus 9:35, “And the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, neither would he let the children of Israel go; as the LORD had spoken by Moses.” In Exodus 10:20, “But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go.” In Exodus 10:27, “But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he would not let them go.” In Exodus 11:10, “And Moses and Aaron did all these wonders before Pharaoh: and the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go out of his land.” It was the God in the Bible who let the Israelis leave Egypt. But it was the same God who had hardened the Pharaoh’s heart and sparked the conflicts so that the Israelis couldn’t leave Egypt easily. So what the God in the Bible was doing? It was encouraging the people to revolt while telling the authorities about the revolt and encouraging the government to oppress them mercilessly. Isn’t such a person a schemer and two-faced? So is this the image of the Greatest Creator? The Israelis Are the People of the Covenant The Bible has the Old Testament and the New Testament. The part telling what happened before Jesus was born was called the Old Testament and the part telling things after Jesus was born was the New Testament. The Testament actually means agreement, covenant, and contract. The whole Bible is the agreement, covenant and contract between the Israelis and the Greatest Creator. So here is a paradox. There are over 3,000 nations in the world and why the God has established the Testament with the Israelis? Does this mean the other nations are not the subjects of the God? If they are, why has the God only established the Testament with the Israelis while neglecting all the other nations? If they are not, what’s the origin of all the other nations? Are Adam and Eve only the ancestors of Israelis and not the other nations? The Israelis are created by the God. Does it mean the other nations are created by the Devil? There are 1,656 years between the Genesis and the Great Flood. There are 857 years between the Great Flood and the Exodus. There are 396 years between the Exodus and the founding of the Israeli State. There are 510 years between the founding of the Israeli State and their captive to Babylon. There are 152 years between their imprisonment in Babylon and the reestablishment of Jerusalem. There are 450 years between the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the birth of Jesus. There are 2003 years between the birth of Jesus and today. So according to the Bible, the history of human beings is about 6,376 years. According to the Bible, there were only 8 people survived the Great Flood on the Earth. They were the couple of Noah, their three sons and their wives. It means that 4,700 years ago, there was no one else living on the Earth except for the Noah family. But this has brought some other questions. First, where do the American Indians come from? According to the theory of Continental Drift, America drifted away from the other continents. But it couldn’t happen within 4,700 years of time. Then how the Noah family reached America from the Middle East? After the Great Flood, there were only 8 members in Noah family. It was impossible for them to get dispersed. Noah couldn’t let one of his sons and his wife to cross the freezing Siberia and the Bering Strait to get to America. Second, where did the African blacks come from? From the perspective of genetics, the blacks, yellows and whites have their separate ancestors. A couple of pure whites couldn’t generate the blacks and yellows. Even the evolvement couldn’t produce the blacks and yellows in 3,700 years of time. Besides, according to Darwin’s evolutionary theory, the survival of the fittest, could the Israelis able to write the Bible evolve into the African blacks? The blacks are not the matches of Israelis in the intelligence no matter how we exaggerate their abilities. Now let’s come to the Chinese nation. The first Chinese King was born about 4,600 years ago. The story of Dayu‘s Flood Control happened about 4,200 years ago. It was impossible for the future generations of Noah to come to mainland China 100 years after the Great Flood. Even if they did it, how could they produce so many people who followed Dayu to control the flood? Where does the Chinese nation come from? Are the Flood Control by Dayu were just the Great Flood? From the perspective of the Bible, the biological evolutionary theory could never be accepted. But once we accepted the theory, it would deny the theory that the God created the human beings. But if we denied the evolutionary theory, there was no way to explain the origin of the blacks and yellows and we can’t say Adam and Eve are the common ancestors of all human beings. The Story of Cain The first child of Adam and Eve, after they were driven out of the Eden, was Cain, followed by Abel. “And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect.” Out of jealousy, Cain killed his brother Abel. We want to ask the God in the Bible some questions, “Why do you favor the offerings of Abel instead of those of Cain? Is Cain killing his brother Abel not your fault? If you had never favored one of them, how could it arouse the jealousy of Cain? Why the people created by you had so many troubles? Adam and Eve wouldn’t follow your orders and their kids killed each other. As the God, you don’t have the ability to solve these problems? Or is it what you have designed? Cain was a murderer and deserved the punishment. But you told Cain, “Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” So what kind of the justice standard is it? It is hardly understandable not to levy the punishment on the criminal. But it is even more understandable to have revenge of sevenfold on those who would punish the criminal. Is it protecting the criminal? That’s why the few thousand years of human history were full of blood, violence and crime. The God in the Bible has been protecting the criminals. “Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” Because Cain is a criminal, we can fully understand it as ““Therefore whosoever slayeth the criminal, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.”” We can conclude we had better become criminals because the criminals are protected and the good men are not. The good men have the risk of being revenged sevenfold. The Prophet and the Dream In the Bible, there are a large number of prophets and dreams. The prophets are the representatives of the God in the Mortal World. They have unimaginable wisdom and power, which sink the average people with average wisdom into the mist. If someone says, “I am a prophet”, should we believe him or not. If we don’t, we are standing against the God. If we do, how can we know the prophet is a fake or not? Now let’s talk about the dreams. There are many dreams and dream analysis in the Bible, in particular in the Revelation. Of course, those who can analyze the dreams are all prophets. But they have also brought a lot of puzzles. First, has the prophet had the dream at all? No one could see his dream and he could well compose some dreams and cheat us. If he really had the dream, was his analysis correct, or was he analyzing the dream on the reverse aspect? I want to ask the God in the Bible, in the Old Testament, you used to talk directly with the human beings. Then why you stopped doing so later? Are the Adam and Eve on other planets also disobeying your orders? Why would you warn the human beings in the form of dreams? Why not tell us the truth directly? Don’t you have the ability to do so? Don’t you have time? Don you have some secret sorrow? I can give many other examples to state that the God in the Bible does not have the features of being unique and exclusive, amorphous, neutral, mysterious, impartial, supremely powerful, merciful and wise as genuine Greatest Creator has. So we can affirm that “the God in the Bible is not the genuine Greatest Creator”.