** BOTH FRI 5/17 AND SAT 5/18 *\*
Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves

• Fri: 2 - 4 PM Skills Check, 4 - 6 PM Moto Intro
• Sat: 2 - 4:30 PM Moto Intro, 4:30 - 6:30 PM Skills Check

Niños and Teeños: Flamenco para todos Carlisle Gymnasium (Elizabeth Waters Center for Dance), UNM, 301 Yale Blvd. NE National Institute of Flamenco presents Niños y Teeños Flamencos in FUTUROS FLAMENCOS. Come see the high-energy flamenco of the National Institute of Flamenco's Student Companies. Don't miss this special showcase by talented youth in our community! (tickets)

• Fri: 7 PM
• Sat: 4 PM

** Fri 5/17 *\*
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP

I've used Facebook since it came out, but I've been having this problem for only the past 3 years.
I will send one of my friends a DM.............and then it goes unseen for months. This has happened with 4 people. And I see them come online and go offline.
It seems like when I send them a message, it goes into their inbox, but they do not get that red colored notification symbol which signifies that they have a new message.
And so only if they open their inbox and start looking around, they might see my message in there and say " OMG I JUST SAW THIS!!! "
Wtf is going on?

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 239: Standing Start
A wine bottle rolled against the side of my boot.
Amidst a gallery of stunned faces and open mouths, it was easily the second most lively thing here.
The first was a clockwork doll clutching at her stomach in pain.
“Ahahahha~ ahahaha~ ahah … uck … ack … ughh … ahahaha~”
I pursed my lips.
Still, I said nothing.
For one thing, this was precisely what happened when one ate the mouldy cinnamon rolls combined with any grass growing by the side of the road. If Apple refused to eat something, then so should she.
But for another–
“What … What is this … ?”
It was because the first response was reserved for the baroness.
Her words came out in a quivering tone, matching the disbelief upon her face.
Frankly, she had to do better than that.
Only the wine from the bottle I nudged away dribbled into the soil. And also the line of drool from a comatose farmer. But I didn’t want to think about that.
Still, it was an excellent benchmark. Until her tears could properly overpower the sour aroma from the Château de Riaré Hensoise, I would deem her bawling to be incomplete.
She had a long way to go.
“How … How are you still …” she began, slowly rising from her seat. “This … This is impossible–”
I offered a tidy smile alongside a flick of my hair, relishing in the moonlight adorning my figure.
“I agree. It shouldn’t be possible. But I assure you, my skin is 100% natural.”
“E-Excuse me … ?”
“No magical enchantments. No unicorn elixirs. No witchly glamors. Just a healthy sleep schedule of however many hours I desire and a diet of fresh strawberry shortcakes.”
The baroness mouthed silently at my secrets being revealed.
A strange way of offering her gratitude. Other princesses hounded my door for this knowledge. Given her pale, blotchy skin and lips as dry as a pond in a desert, she should be pleading for more.
Instead, she pointed at the fallen drunk beside us.
“This … This shouldn’t be possible … no, wait … the clockwork doll … did she–”
She suddenly snapped towards Coppelia, her eyes widening.
“Uuh … ahaha … ugh, it hurts ... ahaha … it hurts so much … ahaha … my tummy … aha … oh no … I’m … I’m seeing daisies … aha … I … ugh … I think I need help …”
Coppelia hugged her stomach, writhing like a freshly hatched caterpillar. Her eyes darkened as hiccups of laughter assailed her defeated form.
The baroness pursed her lips.
Then, she turned to Renise instead.
“Did you–”
“A-Amazing! … I … I have no idea what you did … but it wasn’t just wonderful … it was beautiful! The colours! The warmth! It was like a rainbow come to life!”
With a smile worthy of any attendant, the maid brought her hands together in polite applause. Naturally, to be praised for my brushwork was nothing new to me. Nor was the sight of stars shining in her eyes with greater brightness than any in the night sky.
Why, that even came whenever I left my bedroom.
“You … how did … how did you defeat him … ?”
The strands of the baroness’s golden hair began to frizzle as she turned towards me. All I saw were her tonsils. Bright red and healthy. She should be pleased.
“This was … this was no common man … do you know who he is … ?”
Without offering a chance to ignore her, she stamped a foot, pointing at the fallen drunk with maddened jabs. The man offered no defence, now as spent and drained as the bottle beside him.
I raised a brow.
“Indeed, I do. He’s a farmer who made poor life choices. And between leaving his farm and offering his pitchfork to an overly ambitious baroness, the greater was you. My congratulations on being the superior mistake. I acknowledge your triumph.”
Bwam.
The baroness promptly slapped her palms down on the table.
“This man … is Willem of Hagel,” she said, her teeth gritted together. “A man desperate and cursed.”
“Yes, well, to be a peasant is a dire thing. But it could be worse. At least he isn’t nobility.”
A mouth further widened before me.
Indeed, this was a terrible time to realise her affliction. But I was no famed angel of healing for nothing. There was a cure for ambition. And it involved copious amounts of tears.
I was still waiting.
“There is no world in which you should have been able to defeat him … not if half the tales about him prove true … he is a famed opponent … all the while you are … you are …”
Suddenly, her eyes left my face for the very first time.
No longer feeling that my cheeks were in danger of being poked, she swept her eyes upon my person, as though hoping to find some blemish to signify I was as false as a field of corn.
She stopped at the sword by my side.
And also–
“A copper ring,” she said softly.
Suddenly, my 29th house of cards I was subtly constructing collapsed.
… T-The ring!
The blot on my finger! The insidious badge of shame! The symbol of the Adventurer’s Guild!
Why, I’d taken it for granted that my masterful disguise was impervious! But this was no ordinary noblewoman I was seated across!
This … This was one I’d previously sat across before!
I’d made a terrible mistake!
I was mesmerising! A beautiful princess as charming as I was modest!
There was utterly no scenario in which I’d be forgotten!
I … I should have removed the copper ring!
“O-Oho … ohoho … w-what copper ring?” I said, my hands vanishing below the table at a speed con artists could only nod at. “Ah, do you refer to the ruby inlaid ring I often carry on my hand? The one which changes colour depending on the longitude and latitude? In that case, you may very well have briefly spied something which resembled a copper hue. But it is in fact a thing of unparalleled beauty and craftsmanship. Not a disgraceful copper ring.”
The baroness slowly looked up at me, her eyes blinking.
“No. I wasn’t mistaken. I … I recognise that ring. It is a copper ring, the same size and shape as those worn by … adventurers.”
My mouth widened in horror.
At once, I immediately sought a plant pot or a heavy book. Something to immediately erase the past few seconds of her memory.
Why … if she knew my secret, then the shame would haunt me all the way until I’d found something weighing at least equivalent to a standard hardback!
“I see,” she mumbled, as much to herself as me. “I understand now …”
The baroness removed her palms from the table.
She stood up straight, a hard expression upon her face. One which calculated with each passing moment the optimal way to exploit this devastating information.
Then, she took in a deep breath–just as I began assembling the playing cards into a thick pile.
“… it must be a legendary artifact.”
As I began eyeing her temple … I blinked in non-understanding.
“Excuse me?”
She nodded, her frown harsh enough to permanently crease her skin.
“To wear such a plain, ugly and shameful ring … one which utterly demeans your history, your worth and your pride, destroying any semblance of dignity you possess–”
My hand went to my stomach, struck by as much pain as Coppelia had experienced in a single moment.
“–indeed, to wear a ring so easily mistaken as one belonging to adventurers, the vermin of the world … it must be a truly terrifying artifact.”
I blinked.
And then–
“Ohhho … ohoohho! You … You see the truth of it!”
The baroness squeezed her fists by her side.
“I knew it.”
I nodded, my bangs bouncing against my forehead.
“I-Indeed … ! This ring I carry on me … it is a masterful item of supreme quality, passed down along generations of my family! Why, its appearance matching those of rings worn by adventurers is no coincidence! Theirs are based on this very design! Although they have since tarnished it, it was forged back in the first days of the kingdom when copper was greater than gold! Poured within it is knowledge now lost to time! A power beyond compare, called upon from the depths of the Royal Vault!”
The baroness sucked in a hateful breath.
“Then that explains it,” she said with bitterness ringing throughout her voice. “You were able to defeat such a powerful adversary through the use of your family’s ancient heirlooms.”
“Indeed, this powerful ring with a rare ability I cannot disclose defeated a terrifying farmer! Therefore, there’s no need for you to relay any suggestion that I’m anything but a princess, as far removed from the Adventurer’s Guild as hygiene is to their members!”
The baroness gave no response.
A respite which lasted far too short.
“... I see, then it means the plan continues. Different, yes. But I’ll not be deterred.”
She smiled, the familiar sight of aristocratic opportunism mixed with an utter denial of facts shining within her grey eyes.
I could only react with horror.
“Plan?” I replied, convinced she was well and truly several sandwiches short of a picnic. “Do you mean the plan currently lying in a fallen heap beside us? Did you not just say I defeated your farmer? Your only plan now is to decide which part of the ground you wish to offer your forehead to.”
The baroness shook her head with renewed confidence.
“I think not. To defeat Willem of Hagel, you must have expended every effort you had available. Not a crumb of power could be spared, for to underestimate him would have resulted in your certain loss. Meaning …”
Without hesitation, she gave a multipurpose wave of her hand.
“... You’ve nothing left but a sword you cannot wield, and two retainers against all of mine. One of whom is incapacitated. The other a maid.”
She continued to keep her hand raised. Her simple call to arms.
It took several moments before she cared to even look around her.
A sad thing.
If she had, she would have realised the curiosity of her hoodlums was less than their prudence.
She would have noticed the eyes without loyalty, seeing only the fallen figure of a drunk they’d been led to believe was more than a farmer now watering the ground with his drool.
And she would have noticed the state of her dress, as dishevelled as her ambitions as those she relied upon slinked away in search of newer gutters to inhabit, following instincts she could learn as the last of their feet shuffled into the darkness.
The baroness paled.
It was far too early for that. She had no idea Apple was currently resting in her tavern, and wouldn’t be helping her haul all of the goods which needed delivering to a place less damp than here.
But I could sooth her forthcoming backache with a smile, at least for the assistance already provided.
“You have my gratitude,” I said, brushing a speck of … countryside from my lap. “For so long as the nobility continues to concoct slapdash schemes with no hope of success, the kingdom can continue to assign blame on you when all else goes wrong. When the mobs come calling and heads start rolling, it ensures a steady queue of necks can be offered before ours are reached. That is why the nobility continues to exist, you see, despite the ceaseless treason. So allow me to offer a word of advice when next you wish to survive in a position of responsibility. When fleeing, the best defence isn’t to run faster–it’s to trip the person beside you. And this means better hiring practices.”
I glanced pointedly around me.
All this empty space and not even a single eyepatched second-in-command to use as a distraction? An amateur mistake. One the baroness now realised as her mouth opened wordlessly, the realisation of her solitude only now dawning upon her.
Yet all it invited was a newly wrought defiance.
“I do not mean to flee,” she said, her fists tightly clenched. “I am Arisa Sandholt. And even should I be captured here, you would not be afforded a night’s rest. I am not alone. Whether tonight or tomorrow, this kingdom will fall. I am not alone in planning its demise.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Oh, please. Planning my kingdom’s demise is what everyone does.”
“What?”
“If it’s not being actively planned, it’s because someone’s in the middle of planning how to formulate a plan. And then once they’ve finished planning, they wonder why their plan didn’t work as planned. This is not a cause for concern. It’s a sign the world is still spinning the correct direction.”
The baroness feigned a dignified silence.
It was far too late, of course. By default, nobility had no dignity.
Still, I accepted the effort, and filled the silence with a tidy clap of my hands.
“Now, since you’ve no intention of fleeing, you can be useful instead. I’ll require a full inventory of your stock. I intend to requisition every single item you have in your possession. Every grain. Every crown. And every odd piece of tableware, carpet, candleholder and painting you might have.”
I pointed at the barn. A tragic thing to requisition. But if I was fortunate, it’d grow lacquered tiles and bay windows in the short steps between here and there.
Suddenly, the baroness’s eyes widened. The needless defiance dropped alarmingly from her face.
“Wait … what do you mean by that?”
I paused for a moment, puzzled by her reaction.
This was hardly the complicated part.
“I mean exactly what I mean. This should come as no surprise. I will be emptying every corner of the property you’ve misappropriated, including whatever manner of tunnels you’ve carved for your use. Rest assured, I’ll be employing the talents of my retainers extensively. With or without your cooperation, every single inch of your abode will be inspected by myself for the Royal Treasury’s benefit.”
She blinked between Renise and Coppelia. Although one was dressed as a maid and the other now appeared to be napping on the ground, their skills when it came to matters of unearthing valuables in my kingdom’s underbelly was not one I doubted.
Nor, from the way the baroness gulped, did she.
“I can do it,” she said suddenly.
I looked at her in confusion, uncertain what ploy this was.
“... Excuse me? Do what?”
“The items of value. I can bring them out. There’s no need to personally see to such a thing yourself.”
“While I’m in full agreement, I can hardly trust your reliability in this manner. And besides, I’ll hardly be playing the mule. I shall be supervising while closely assessing every item.”
Once more, the tonsils came out.
An appalling disregard of decorum. There was only one time that nobility was permitted to look so horrified in my presence. And that’s if they were copying my own after I discovered a list of marriage suitors posing as a napkin beneath the dessert spoon again.
“E-Even so … as the one who wronged you, I insist on not troubling a princess any further. If you give me a few moments, I can acquire the most important valuables for you in a fraction of the time you’d spend on finding them.”
“A few moments to hide them, you mean. No, I’m afraid that anything you wish to stuff beneath a floorboard will need to be appropriately examined first.”
I leaned away in mild alarm as a bead of sweat ran down the baroness’s face.
A moment later–
She finally did what only someone in her position could.
Adhering to the instincts of all nobility, she swept up her dress and suddenly dashed away.
Except it wasn’t towards the dark forest, to be lost amidst the shadows and the jaws of whatever awaited her there. It was back towards the barn.
I watched as she stumbled several times before even reaching the steps.
“... A desperate sight, no?” I said, with a sad shake of my head. “To throw away all semblance of the image she’d hoped to craft. Now she flees like a frightened towngirl. She should know that escape is now impossible.”
Beside me, Renise let out a hum.
Far from chasing after the baroness, she collected the pack of cards I’d assembled for memory wiping purposes. She began to build a house of cards.
I looked at her in puzzlement. She gave a strangely pained smile in reply.
“I believe we can offer her a few moments.”
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tl;dr - The bike lanes are here to stay until at least 2026 when Council will receive a report on usage and issues (along with an interim report in 2025). The vote was 8-1 in favor of accepting that recommendation.
Hey everyone,
I've posted an update on the BikeBridge facebook group which I'd recommend joining if you're interested in cycling in Lethbridge, but I'll copy here for those not on Facebook. The council vote has just occurred and we are in the clear until the Summer of 2026 when this will be revisited! I want to thank everyone once again for coming out in person, writing letters, and of course, getting out on your bikes. If you want (way) more details - here are the notes I took, and I'll add my thoughts after:

• This was originally item 4.2.4 on the Agenda where it could be voted on without discussion - council pulled it from this section, asking for additional discussion.
• It became item 8.1.2 - Councilor Middleton-Hope opened with a question regarding the snow removal issues. Director of Infrastructure Services Sanchez said that even last winter they saw a dramatic decrease in calls for the last snowfall event as they adjusted their clearing policies, but adjustments will continue next winter and there will be 2 staff dedicated to the downtown to keep tabs on the situation
• Councilor Campbell expressed that there was a lively discussion which he would characterize as supportive, while some people expressed that they supported the idea, but had concerns around the design - he is supporting the motion because administration has heard those concerns and is continuing to act on them
• Councilor Dodic pushed back and said that a few dozen people over 2 meetings does not constitute overwhelming support, and the Lethbridge Herald poll (while also not reliable representation) had ~700 votes, with more than 75% opposing them
• He supports bike lanes like those along Scenic Drive that share space with pedestrians
• He doesn't believe there was meaningful consultation and said the cost for the 2 lanes was $2.9M, with only $1.2M covered by the federal government
• He said even with that money, besides 4th Avenue South these bike lanes don't go anywhere and so people will have to ride with traffic anyway and people will apparently only shop on 4th Ave and 7th Street because of the protected lanes
• Businesses expressed concern and social media came down on them, calling for boycotts (although some people pushed back on that, and he thanked them for doing so)
• He wants everyone to support businesses along the bike lanes so they don't suffer and is concerned for it
• He feels this vote is a done deal, but is symbolically voting against it
• The vote was called - it passed 8-1 (they didn't say, but I will assume Councilor Dodic was the vote against)

My thoughts here:

• I'm a bit confused by the bike lanes going nowhere comment - on 4th Ave these connect to the scenic drive multi-use path (which admittedly is just a sidewalk for a few blocks), and on 7th Street they connect with the bike boulevard - I certainly agree that connectivity city-wide is an issue (one that is solved with more bike paths, not fewer), but these paths connect about as well as any individual two paths could
• The comment about cyclists only shopping on 4th Ave and 7th St due to safety is strange as well - there is a big difference between a mostly safe route with a short ride (or even walking your bike a block or two) at the end, versus no protection at all
• While I've encountered a few individuals saying they wouldn't shop at a few local businesses, there's been nothing organized that I would consider a boycott - I can't read all social media all the time, but I have kept my ear to the ground on this issue, if that is happening someone please let me know
• I'll restate my position here - I don't support boycotting any businesses regardless of their position on the bike lanes, but I do think we should shop at them while being very vocal about liking the bike lanes - I think biking gets less attention because cyclists are in a good mood while motorists complain about parking, so business owners hear a lot more about parking

This was really long, my apologies. With any luck we've got a few years before we need to think about this again. So get out and enjoy downtown and enjoy biking in Lethbridge!

Yes.. Yess.. Alright there Daddy, I mean Danny. Yeah shut the fuck up.
Verse on Danny: Dear Tank I wrote you a letter. See my daddy wasnt there so now I crave attention. See I would do anything I can to ride your wave for mentions. Even pretended you dissed me just to create dissention. I dug through all you and Pop's songs just to find some ammunition, now im all out of lotion. So my dick burns and my hand is itching. I posted that Pop said some racist shit on Facebook, but changed the title cause I couldnt get your friends to listen. I cant do numbers and I need the advice. I paid my mom for her to advertise me, I need the hype. I hope you see this dog it eases me to sleep at night. Whats it like to actually be dope and have a buzz? I paid Gnat, but I still cant break 20 friends. I wear this crown but my throne is really full of malus. I cant picture me without the drugs.
Verse on John: Dear Tank, I kept tagging you 6 months ago you wouldn't respond. You owe me dog dont leave me here for long. While your out living life and doing things I wish I could, I spend all day on the internet trying to get some looks. I know I said I was straight but yet played victim hook, cause I aint killed nobody. Im not built like that I lived in hoods. Got too much hate up on my diss so I deleted it. I tryna bait me but I miss. So much for clicks and dislikes. I really hate that im a bitch. I cant do shit but diss right? I cant create a single hit. So I take hits from this pipe. Miss shells in the nozzle, got hit with the nasal spay. The Boogeyman of this Bu cocky shit. The only shots are on my face, Im prolly sick, its prolly jizz, I prolly need some molly shit to take this pain away. I just delay it shit. Eyes red, I feel my hood in your hoodie man. Im tryna weather days but im not Boogie Man. Critiqued you for your mental health cause I dont get complexities. Im a simple man with simple bars. I kill a man, Jarrott. it makes sense right? But when you kill a man get jarred hoe. Get sentenced for life. Im just a lonely man with no friends or bodies to show. And if I end it all tomorrow? Shit nobody would know.
Oh we just having fun now.. Let me show yall how to make a diss..
Verse on Gnat: Im waiting, im patient, you baited. You made a grenade on this paper, pull the pen ive been waiting. How you gonna claim wins from your moms basement, you aint got no Ems on your plate list. The crown you been claiming? It aint raining! 5 months Gnat still no reply. John asked about me when his own squad going poltergeist. Dont throw the fight. John started his rap rhyming rap shit 4 times. But you wanna claim im the one whoes lazy? Shit im bored of you poor rhymes. Gnat's masculine hardcore? When he the one clapping back with insults about Star Wars. Outrap me. Come on Gnat roll up. Its Ironic that im Emo. The fuck you killing yourself for? Zareem already murdered you, Stan aint nobody heard of you. Only time you fucks catching bodies in the morgue, you murdered who? Shit the first 48 hours. I know whoes missing. Pop already covered you, exposed you for your googling. Your bars dont connect, dont hide that phone when you spitting no? You need more practice. Unlike LLR this is real life. You claim I run but yet I still fight, outrapped you on your own rhyme scheme, Gnat just got killed twice.
Verse on all 3: Hold up change it up, something yall dont know how to do with that same old boring ass style. Lotta Danny, Got no time for your problems. The shit you spit is nonsense. Begged Ren to do a song with you then he robbed you. How many of us you paying money to gaslight you with fake praise and fake opinions. Gnat calls himself a king? Well thank the lord for me. Got a buzz off my name? now im claiming your royalties. John upset that it took me 1 month, dog it took you 5 months to clap back, you brag about that? 24 hours im back on the track. Get your fat ass back on the track and move quicker. Or maybe not cause your movements sus. And now your mad attacking me cause your raps all suck. Acting like these are lies? Bitch grow up. How about you switch that flow up. Coming with the same cadence dog? We be bored of your shit. You an obsessed little ex whoring for clicks. I feel bad man, Dont be mad stan. Heres a trash can.. For your diss. I stay living in your head without rent. Gnat, better learn your history.. Kings they get beheaded. "The the Boogeyman cause everybody scared of me". What a dope bar, your such a rarity. Talking like you next up. You been here since 2017 where's the check huh? Your best disses got my name in them, Im a Free copy right? Let me put my claim on it. Every time you tag me ill be monetizing you while you advertise me. And fantasize about my friends. Just know I got here without you. So keep on moving, you just a lame whoes pretending. Use my name for the ascension, but my reigns are too extensive. Stay in your lane, got no engine. You start clenching and your plugged in the rear, with no luck and no career. Whoes scared of this dude. Your times up..
Honestly I wasnt even gonna go after you. But theres certain lines you just dont cross. Tryna target my legitimacy? Going after my friends? Calling out anyone you can to diss me and paying them? Danny theres ways to move in this industry properly. You put your hand out and its gonna get slapped. Get back in your fucking lane.
Free's note: Tank is known for having a pen, hes known for his pen and his bars. Like if your gonna say that he doesnt have it cause it went over your fucking head.. You need to look in the mirror. John I did do a speech with you in 2022. That was before you became a big bitch. Bitch ass fuck with nothing better to do than diss. Go back to dissing your mom, cause thats your only good diss John.

Marketing is one of the most crucial operation for a Shopify store. There are lot’s of tactics Marketing is one of the most crucial operation for a Shopify store. There are lot’s of tactics to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn

• Definition of Marketing
• Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
• Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
• Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
• Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
• Marketing Plan Template
• FAQs

Definition of Marketing

American Marketing Association defines marketing as activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large. Source
What do you see here?

1. Marketing is not about activities, it contains activities, set of institutions and process.
2. Function of marketing is not generating sales. It’s creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that has value.
3. In this post we’ll focus on Shopify stores marketing. However in the big picture marketing has not limited with companies. Marketing can be done within organization or society.

Let’s summarize what marketing definition for a Shopify store. Marketing will create, communicate, deliver and exchange offers that have value for customers. As you can see main subject in here is customers. Because of this, I’ll put customers as the center of this guide. Everything we’ll do has to something with them.

Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market

This is a practical guide for marketing so I want to continue with a hypothetical Shopify stores for each steps.
Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.

Market Research

How can we do the market research?
Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.

Competitor Analysis

When you done this market research, you’ll also see there are some other brands. This is a huge subject but let’s call these brands as competitor for now.
Now it’s time to analyze them.

1. Checkout their branding strategy.
2. What are their value propositions?
3. What is hot about them? Return guarantee, free shipping etc.
4. What is not hot about them? Poor product or store design, low UX on the website, etc.
5. What people think about them? Google reviews, Trust pilot reviews, product reviews on the store.
6. Are there any partnership or influencer program they’re running?
7. What is their Google/YouTube campaign strategy? Check it here.
8. What is their Facebook/Instagram campaign strategy? Check it here.

Create a spreadsheet with all of this information. We’ll use this when working on positioning and marketing strategy.

Define Your Target Market

What do you say about our target market? Can all of new parents be our target market?
Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics

• Age: 25-45 years old
• Gender: Primarily women, but also some men
• Education: College degree or higher
• Income: $75,000+ per household
• Location: Urban areas
• Occupation: Professionals, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents

Psychographics

• Values: Health, wellness, sustainability, social responsibility
• Lifestyle: Active, eco-conscious, family-oriented
• Interests: Organic food, natural products, children’s activities
• Media consumption: Social media, parenting blogs, magazines
• Shopping habits: Researches purchases thoroughly, values quality over price

Pain Points

• Concerns about harmful chemicals in baby clothes
• Difficulty finding stylish and affordable organic baby clothes
• Wants to make sustainable choices for their children

Needs

• High-quality, organic baby clothes that are safe and healthy for their children
• Unique and stylish designs that make their children look and feel good
• A brand that shares their values and commitment to sustainability

Buying Behaviors

• Researches products online before making a purchase
• Reads reviews and testimonials from other parents
• Shops at specialty stores and online retailers
• Willing to pay a premium for quality and sustainability

After creating ICP, it’s important to spend some time on empathy map. Don’t forget to check it, too.
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.

Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding

I’ll follow the American Marketing Association (AMA) in here too.
First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.

1. Design consistency is the key. Your visual identity should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
2. Copy consistency is the key. Your communication style should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
3. Experience consistency is the key. Let’s say your brand looks like a high-end brand and when a new visitor visit your store first they see is an annoying popup saying want to get 10% OFF. This is simply how to destroy your brand.
4. Craft a story and stick to it. What makes you create this brand? Faces behind the brand. This is a huge leverage for creating trust and building bonds.

Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy

So far we identified our target market and ideal customer profile. Check out competitors and creates the branding for our store.
Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.

Go-to-Market Strategy

Let’s say you recently launched your Shopify store or add a new line of products.
You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;

• Free shipping until X date.
• 5 different boy and girl bundle with 40% OFF to try our products.

Marketing Strategy

This is your plan of actions to sell or advertise your products. Now we can talk about selling part of the marketing.
Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
AIDA Sales Funnel Framework
Now we can continue with our hypothetical store example. We’re selling high-end, organic baby clothes on our store. We crafted our ICP, empathy map, work on branding and created our story.

Example Marketing Strategy

First step we’ll work on attention step. Our focus is getting attention of our target market attention.
We can create a educative e-book like “7 Harmful Chemicals Commonly Used in Baby Clothes and How to Avoid Them” and run some campaigns targeted new parents on social network (Facebook, Instagram or YouTube)
This ads will land on a landing page that gives brief information about why we should pay attention to chemicals in baby clothes for our little ones and make a promise like “I spend my last 5 years about researching chemicals on baby clothes and prepare this book for you and your little one”. Also there can be a quick video about our story explaining our expertise in this field and why we’re building this brand.
We can ask for their email address to share the book with them. When they enter their email address, we’ll send them this ebook.
After first email with the ebook, we can send a few more emails with easy to digest information about chemicals.
This will create an expertise image on our target customers and start to create a bond with them. Not a bad start, right?
At the same time we can use this content on our social media, right? Quick videos, infographics and posts about the chemicals in the baby clothes.
After getting a few thousands subscribers we can organize a webinar to answer questions. This will also a great content for re-used social media content and creating trust and expert image.
Then we can share a time-limited promotion with this people for a bundle. Like we’re running a campaign and these 5 chemical free baby clothes bundles 10% discounted until next week!
We can send emails about it and use this campaign for remarketing for only people who show interest in our e-book and webinar.
This is a very brief template of marketing plan.
Now let’s take a look at more common one.

• Post product photos on social media with lot’s of hashtags
• Run a Meta campaign without any targeting, land people on product detail page
• Give them WELCOME10 discount if they enter their email address
• Send them 15 emails in the next 5 days to maximize your sales.

It’s time for you. Which one do you want to choose? All of the experts recommending this without even asking who are your customers. Can you believe it?
Don’t forget that marketing strategy is not a hope. It’s a well documented plan of actions designed for turning strangers into customers.

Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels

Inside the marketing strategy, channels plays a vital role. There are lot’s of ways to group channels. I’ll use most basic one.
Inbound Marketing Channels: With the inbound marketing your customers will find you and start the interaction. Most common channel for inbound marketing is organic search engine optimization.
After creating high quality content, when customers search something online, they can see your articles and first interaction happens.
Outbound Marketing Channels: With the outbound marketing you reach out to customers. Facebook/Instagram/YouTube ads, influencer marketing, display ads, podcast ads can be count in this category.
As you can imagine inbound marketing channels takes lot’s of efforts and time however over the time you’ll have organic marketing channel and it brings you customer without needing any budget.
Outbound marketing channels generally works with advertisement models and you need budgets to run these channels.
Most of time I recommend to start with outbound marketing channels and then invest inbound marketing channels overtime. Don’t forget to check Mastering Paid Ads For Shopify post.
Succesful marketing plans should be supported by high converting growth and conversion plans. Don’t forget to check Growth Guide For Shopify and Conversion Optimization Guide For Shopify too.
to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn

• Definition of Marketing
• Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
• Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
• Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
• Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
• Marketing Plan Template
• FAQs

Definition of Marketing

American Marketing Association defines marketing as activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large. Source
What do you see here?

1. Marketing is not about activities, it contains activities, set of institutions and process.
2. Function of marketing is not generating sales. It’s creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that has value.
3. In this post we’ll focus on Shopify stores marketing. However in the big picture marketing has not limited with companies. Marketing can be done within organization or society.

Let’s summarize what marketing definition for a Shopify store. Marketing will create, communicate, deliver and exchange offers that have value for customers. As you can see main subject in here is customers. Because of this, I’ll put customers as the center of this guide. Everything we’ll do has to something with them.

Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market

This is a practical guide for marketing so I want to continue with a hypothetical Shopify stores for each steps.
Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.

Market Research

How can we do the market research?
Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.

Competitor Analysis

When you done this market research, you’ll also see there are some other brands. This is a huge subject but let’s call these brands as competitor for now.
Now it’s time to analyze them.

1. Checkout their branding strategy.
2. What are their value propositions?
3. What is hot about them? Return guarantee, free shipping etc.
4. What is not hot about them? Poor product or store design, low UX on the website, etc.
5. What people think about them? Google reviews, Trust pilot reviews, product reviews on the store.
6. Are there any partnership or influencer program they’re running?
7. What is their Google/YouTube campaign strategy? Check it here.
8. What is their Facebook/Instagram campaign strategy? Check it here.

Create a spreadsheet with all of this information. We’ll use this when working on positioning and marketing strategy.

Define Your Target Market

What do you say about our target market? Can all of new parents be our target market?
Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics

• Age: 25-45 years old
• Gender: Primarily women, but also some men
• Education: College degree or higher
• Income: $75,000+ per household
• Location: Urban areas
• Occupation: Professionals, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents

Psychographics

• Values: Health, wellness, sustainability, social responsibility
• Lifestyle: Active, eco-conscious, family-oriented
• Interests: Organic food, natural products, children’s activities
• Media consumption: Social media, parenting blogs, magazines
• Shopping habits: Researches purchases thoroughly, values quality over price

Pain Points

• Concerns about harmful chemicals in baby clothes
• Difficulty finding stylish and affordable organic baby clothes
• Wants to make sustainable choices for their children

Needs

• High-quality, organic baby clothes that are safe and healthy for their children
• Unique and stylish designs that make their children look and feel good
• A brand that shares their values and commitment to sustainability

Buying Behaviors

• Researches products online before making a purchase
• Reads reviews and testimonials from other parents
• Shops at specialty stores and online retailers
• Willing to pay a premium for quality and sustainability

After creating ICP, it’s important to spend some time on empathy map. Don’t forget to check it, too.
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.

Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding

I’ll follow the American Marketing Association (AMA) in here too.
First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.

1. Design consistency is the key. Your visual identity should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
2. Copy consistency is the key. Your communication style should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
3. Experience consistency is the key. Let’s say your brand looks like a high-end brand and when a new visitor visit your store first they see is an annoying popup saying want to get 10% OFF. This is simply how to destroy your brand.
4. Craft a story and stick to it. What makes you create this brand? Faces behind the brand. This is a huge leverage for creating trust and building bonds.

Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy

So far we identified our target market and ideal customer profile. Check out competitors and creates the branding for our store.
Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.

Go-to-Market Strategy

Let’s say you recently launched your Shopify store or add a new line of products.
You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;

• Free shipping until X date.
• 5 different boy and girl bundle with 40% OFF to try our products.

Marketing Strategy

This is your plan of actions to sell or advertise your products. Now we can talk about selling part of the marketing.
Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
This article first published at MarketingLib.
Don't forget to check Growth Suite on Shopify App Store.

Hi everyone
Recently I've been seeing a lot of pages and individual posts being "covertly" racist. So not saying anything racist specifically but basically posting certain symbolisms with the captions "read between the lines" or "the good old days". Every time I try to report it, I just get a message from Facebook saying that there's nothing wrong with the post or the page. And maybe that's true... I guess on the surface it does look like there isn't anything wrong with it... But I can't help but feel that these posts are quite inappropriate. I mean, is this free speech or hate speech? It's not directly attacking anyone... But it's still not okay to say things like that.
Is there a way to report these that is actually effective? Any other advice perhaps?...

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So, I'm a "white knight" on a couple of the facebook pages I use. No longer though - ran into a major issue. I clearly pissed off a scammer by calling them out , fearing that they'd scam honest people. My grandparents were scammed pretty severely so it holds a special place in my heart to stop these idiots from stealing peoples' money. Well, every single morning , from 2am - 6am , conveniently the meat of my sleep before work.. I've been receiving spam calls from the same person on several different numbers.. assuming they're google voice numbers. They'll call me, sit there in silence, then text me a "threatening" set of emojis.. skulls crossbones, a red X, money symbols, my address and full name with my relative's names. "A lot to lose... " With an hourglass symbol. Clearly they're trying to scare me into thinking my life's in danger, and I'm sure that they're going to try to get me to pay them off. Or, if not I just made them mad and they decided to harass me daily. They're clearly trying to call me while I'm asleep to bother me and to screw me out of my sleep. It's causing me to have to silence my alarms and use an alternative alarm, and it's really pissing me off. I've researched how to go about reporting google voice accounts ... "Local law enforcement" There's no way in hell that my local PD is going to go through the steps to subpoena their information. And even if they did, I know these scammers just spoof peoples' numbers anyway. So, it appears that I'm going to have to get creative. Any tips, anti-scams anyone wants to try to help me out with ? Getting really annoying.

Ok, the title is a little "click baity", but also true (although "begged" might be a little over the top)
A few years back my brother and I were visiting our parents in our hometown. While we were there for the week, one of our good friends little sister was turning 21, and invited us to come to celebrate with them. It was the town over, so we drove out there to enjoy the festivities. I word it like this because it wasn't some wild party, just a small group of friends (8 or so) and her parents. We were at her parents house when her brother (our close friend) suggested we take her to her first bar visit. My brother and I drove separate as we were going to just stop in, buy a celebratory drink and head out (It was about 10pm and we had to get back).
One note, my brother and I were not drinking at all. Just hanging out (really that's what most of us were doing)
We get to the bar, it's a small town so small bar, and they push some tables together. Our buddies sister is excited, her first time at a bar, so I go up to the bar top and order a round of shots for everyone (excluding my brother and I). I made sure to leave him like a 50% tip cause it was a lot of drinks and everything and wanted to not annoy him. He gave me a serving tray with all the shots and I brought them to the table, and we were going to do a bday toast. Our buddies sister said first we need to get drinks, so I went and got to redbulls (in the cans) for my brother and I. So we could toast and then leave. We do the birthday toast and chat for a minute and then go to leave. My brother downed his redbull so was going to grab another one but forgot his wallet. I gave him mine to pay. And he goes up there.
While a I wait I am chatting with my buddy and his sister, the bartender some up behind me and tells me to leave "right now!" I turned to my brother with a "what?" expression. The dude holds up my ID and tells me my brother just tried to use it and he wants us to leave is bare "Now!". I guess when my brother was getting another redbull for the road (he was driving and wanted to be awake), the bartender asked for his ID, which he didn't even think about since he wasn't drinking, so figured he would just show him mine (since he didn't have his wallet). That didn't work lol.
Now a few things to note, I was 32 and my brother 28, so way over the drinking age. My brother ordered a redbull and not alcohol. And it was 100% justified that the dude wanted to kick us out. I am in no way upset about him kicking us out... it was the WAY he kicked us out.
I told him sorry and that's fair, we will take off, I turn to say goodbye to my friends and he grabs my arm and says "Right now!".... ok, not a fan of someone touching me. Especially aggressively when I agreed to leave and was not putting up any type of "fuss". I jerked my arm away and said "ok dude". As we are walking away he then yells "Nope! No no no!" I was at the door looking at him, no idea why he was yelling this at us.... "The Redbull stays!" What? I purchased this already. It's in a can. He yelled again "Drop the can!" By this time it felt like this whole thing was becoming a scene. If he just came up and said "hey, you gotta leave" and said why, I would have no problem with it. I worked at a restaurant for 4 years, so I completely understand what these guys go through. But this guy was now being a dick just to be a dick. I stared at him for a second, then dropped the can in the trash and walked out.
My brother was fuming. He's a big, street justice kind of guy. We get in the car and he wants to slash tires or something (we don't know this dude or have any idea what car he drives lol) he was just needing something. I told him I had an idea we just need to head out. As we are driving back home, I take out my phone and make a craigslist post (this was before facebook marketplace) and it read something like this:
Title: Everything free *PS4* *Electric guitar* *PSP* FREE!
Description: I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me and am giving away ALL of his shit! He is gone for the next few days and I need everything gone ASAP. First come first served.
Free items are:

• Playstateion 4
• Lots of games for it (I don't play, so I'm not going to list them)
• Electric Guitar (Black and says fender, that's all I know)
• Sony PSP and games
• Bunch of car stuff

If you see this posting it means I still have it!
Literally cal me ANYTIME as I am trying to get rid of this shit before he gets back
(insert BAR phone number) **I called first to confirm it was the bar and that dude picked up**
I hit post and then I called my buddy that was still at the bar and told him what I did. He thought it was funny and said he would tell me if anyone called.
Then 10 minutes later he started texting me.

Dude, the phone keeps ringing
The bartender is getting pissed
He just said, this is a fucking bar

He updated me for an hour or so while he was there. Then I woke up to 3 emails from the bar. They went and found the post and kept messaging.

You put the wrong number on your post, FIX IT!
YOU NEED TO FIX THIS NOW, PEOPLE KEEP CALLING
WE ARE REPORTING YOU

This went on for about 3 days before the post was finally removed.
"and then everyone stood up and clapped" lol. I had to add that because that's how it feels when writing the story out. I am not the best "reteller" of stories, so....
TL:DR: Bartender was being a dick. Posted the bars # on a FREE STUFF craigslist post. Annoyed the bartender for a few days. And it was all petty.

10-minute read.

interview with Hanun Hanrapetutyan party leader Arman Babajanyan: Germany & Blinken, border delimitation, opposition Archbishop's meeting with his boss Catholicos

REPORTER: What can you tell us about the meeting in Kazakhstan?
BABAJANYAN: Azerbaijan was initially refusing the launch the border delimitation unless Armenia withdrew from the 2.5 Soviet-era Azeri villages. This Tavush delimitation process began during the [February] meeting in Berlin, after which Pashinyan announced that Armenia had to transfer the 2.5 villages. Blinken visited Paris and discussed this issue with Macron, followed by a joint press conference in which the French FM accused Azerbaijan of occupying Armenian territories. Blinken called Aliyev, and for the first time, Azerbaijan very openly vowed to continue the process based on the 1991 Almaty principles.
This is when we learned that the Armenian side was finally able to sway Azerbaijan and to organize the transfer of these 2.5 villages not as a one-sided concession, which is what Azerbaijan initially demanded, but to include them as part of a wider Almaty delimitation agreement (April 19), which is what Armenia wanted.
The 1991 Almaty declaration was one of the few cards in Armenia's hands and that is what Armenian diplomacy has been focused on since the September 2022 invasion, after Russia refused to help and Armenia decided to use the Almaty as a legal tool to pressure Azerbaijan with the help of West in Prague. After two years of intense diplomatic efforts, we were able to reach an agreement (April 19) with Azerbaijan around Almaty principles. However, Azerbaijan continues to resist the inclusion of Almaty in the larger peace agreement, while Armenia continues to negotiate for its inclusion.
I have internal information that the Armenian opposition's protests to the 1991 Almaty process have had no effect on the diplomatic efforts. Kazakhstan stepped in and made the 1991 Almaty declaration even more symbolic and stronger by providing a platform for negotiations. Armenia must treat Kazakhstan as a potential economic and political partner in Central Asia. The news of President Tokayev's trip to Yerevan was met with pain in Baku because Kazakhstan is a member of Turkic states.
This delimitation process is accompanied by several geopolitical developments that have a direct impact on the future of Russia's influence in the South Caucasus. (1) The April 5 meeting radically changed Armenia's weight category. (2) The outcome of the Pashinyan-Putin meeting: withdrawal of Russian forces from the AM-AZ border, in addition to Zvartnots Airport.
In 1988, Soviet Armenia and Soviet Azerbaijan went through a whole set of legal procedures to conduct a border delimitation and demarcation. It's no coincidence that Nikol Pashinyan emphasizes the need to "reproduce" the borders. In 1988, Soviet AM and AZ used topographic maps to confirm 95% of the border - around 1050 kilometers. Today they are trying to stay as close to this as possible.
I'm not a fan of direct AM-AZ talks without a Western mediator, but we know that Blinken is being briefed daily on this process so it's one of the topics at the center of his attention. The West has welcomed the delimitation process. The West is "present" as long as the process is based on Almaty principles. As for Russia, they are more cautious towards this Almaty delimitation because Russia itself is violating Almaty in Ukraine.
REPORTER: Why do you find it important to minimize Russia's physical presence in Armenia?
BABAJANYAN: (1) Russian presence did/does not protect Armenia from external threats. (2) Russian forces are a potential threat to Armenia's internal stability. We've witnessed hybrid warfare attacks from Russia and the use of Russian agents in Armenia's internal political life. I can't rule out the possibility of Russia using its forces in Armenia to resolve its problems. (3) Russian border agents were preventing Armenian citizens from moving from one Armenian settlement to another Armenian settlement, within Armenia. They were also preventing Armenian journalists and EU border observers from entering certain regions.
Russia's main ally in the South Caucasus is animosity and bloodshed. If we are able to involve the international community in this delimitation process, if we are able to deploy a contingent of Armenian border guards equipped with modern monitoring tech across the border, and I know for a fact that the West wants to help Armenia with this, then I don't see why it won't be possible for Armenia to guard its own borders.
REPORTER: You mentioned a possible intervention by Russian forces into Armenia's internal affairs. What did you mean?
BABAJANYAN: The forced removal of the Pashinyan administration with the use of the 102nd Russian military base, if they realize there is no other way to accomplish that. They have ranking officials like Dmitri Medvedev, who is the deputy head of NatSec, writing posts that convey the Russian government's stance towards the Armenian government and Armenia's European aspirations.
REPORTER: But how can we have peace with Azerbaijan if they are talking about Armenia being "Western Azerbaijan"?
BABAJANYAN: What Aliyev says with the intention of stirring things up in Armenia and feeding his own population should not hold Armenia back from doing what's best for Armenia. Azerbaijan's agreement to accept the Almaty principles was a big concession by Azerbaijan. Prior to that, every time Armenia would slightly hint at Almaty, Azerbaijani figures would raise vaynasoon and sharply rebuke Armenia.
Azeris were bringing arguments against the 1991 Almaty. (1) They [and Armenian's parliamentary opposition party ARF] argued that Azerbaijan did not ratify the 1991 Almaty in 1992. (2) They argued that Armenia violated Almaty by entering Lachin during the first war to protect ethnic Armenians. However, as of right now, there are serious internal political developments in Azerbaijan after Aliyev's recent statement on recognizing Armenia's territorial integrity and acceptance of Almaty as the principle for border delimitation. This was a diplomatic accomplishment by Armenia, backed by the international community's support. Aliyev's occasional outbursts of maximalist rhetoric do not help the process, of course, but it's part of a hybrid warfare against Armenia. I'm surprised we have so many analysts in Armenia who still fall for it and help Aliyev while ignoring Armenia's accomplishments on Western platforms.
REPORTER: There are protests in Armenia led by Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan. They demand Pashinyan's resignation.
BABAJANYAN: There is nothing complicated here. I know quite well where this movement originated from, how it got big, and who the forces are behind this process. Initially, they did not publicly demand for PM's resignation, before suddenly demanding it on Republic Square. I think this is an "apolitical" movement because it lacks a political program. The figures behind this process perhaps believe the public is naïve and doesn't understand what's happening. The beneficiaries of this movement are not on the stage; they are elsewhere, including outside of Armenia [in Russia]. They have attempted coups since 2018 because they are terrified of elections.
As a former [churchman], I have insider sources from the church. Yesterday I met ranking clergy figures and I've been informed about the internal situation, what the majority of archbishops think, and what happened yesterday at 7 pm.
REPORTER: What happened at 7 pm?
BABAJANYAN: A meeting by ranking church officials. They urged the Catholicos [big boss] to take steps to prevent the escalation of this process. No surprise that they held it at 7 pm. They essentially waited to see how many people would show up at the Republic Square protest [the number was reportedly 3x smaller than previously]. They recognized that their "holy movement" was dying down and Catholicos himself understood that it was necessary to stop Archbishop Bagrat. The Catholicos said that he plans to speak with Bagrat on Sunday and convince him to end his participation in this movement. The Catholicos will thank Bagrat for his service, and for leading people, and will urge Bagrat to hand over the movement to politicians. Bagrat will be asked to return to serve in his church in Tavush. How Bagrat will respond to this, and how the supreme leadership of the church will respond, will likely become clear on Monday after the second meeting of ranking churchmen.
Other archbishops are very concerned about the events in Yerevan and its impact on the church's reputation and future developments. Archbishop Bagrat has opened Pandora's Box and granted the government the legitimate right to also intervene in the church's internal affairs, including financial and material processes, something that the state has so far left untouched. It won't be a problem now for the state to investigate the church's revenue sources and donations. I think it's time to tax the income from parafin sales and other sources.
The Catholicos informed the other archbishops that he was not behind the march launched by Bagrat and that he only "blessed" Bagrat's efforts limited in Tavush. Catholicos also told archbishops that he urged Bagrat to stay with Tavush villagers, serve them, and amplify their voices. In other words, Catholicos says he has no participation in the "march". This is according to ~10 archbishops with whom I spoke. I believe them. I believe Catholicos did not take part in this process. Perhaps Bagrat thought his actions were helping the church so he decided to claim that he had the Catholicos's "blessing".
Sure, Catholicos could have called and asked Bagrat to retract it, or perhaps Catholicos legitimately thought Bagrat could succeed in his "holy struggle" and in bringing back Kocharyan. Kocharyan's circles are actively discussing the candidacy of ex-Ombudsman Arman Tatoyan, who is a favorite of former regime forces.
I believe Catholicos and Bagrat have already met today [Bagrat later said it's a normal practice to regularly meet Catholicos but claims they have not discussed the ongoing protests...]. I hope Bagrat will announce how he plans to end his mission. If you remember, he said earlier that he has no plans to take part in this process forever and that it's a matter of "few days" for him.
The timing of this movement is not a coincidence. For Russia, the target is May 15, when border commissions led by Mher Grigoryan and Mustafayev must sign the Protocols to be ratified by parliaments. If they manage to derail this process, Azerbaijan will use it as a chance to exit the border delimitation process that's based on Almaty principles. The West "forcefully" brought Azerbaijan to this negotiation table, so if Armenia walks away, Azerbaijan could use it as an excuse to carry out more aggression. This delimitation is the biggest diplomatic achievement of the Pashinyan administration in 6 years.
source, source, source,

"adopting the 1991 Almaty Declaration as the basis for border delimitation is a felony crime": ex-foreign ministry official Vahagn Melikyan, an opposition speaker in Republic Square

Yesterday opposition churchman Bagrat asked Kocharyan's foreign minister Vardan Oskanian and other ex-officials to draft a new negotiation system. They announced the involvement of 30 foreign diplomats, who urged for the suspension of the ongoing delimitation process based on 1991 Almaty, "քանի որ այն չի պարունակում սահմանային նկարագիր, միայն տարածքային պահանջներ չունենալու հարց ունի": //
A ruling party MP accused some of the ex-diplomats in the aforementioned group of "deserting" during the difficult hours in 2021.
MP TOROSYAN: It's 2021. The government has resigned. Azerbaijan invades Armenia in May. These people fled their diplomatic trenches and left the country without a Foreign Minister, knowing well that the just-resigned government could not appoint a new Minister. This includes Ara Ayvazyan. //
source, source,

Russia begins withdrawing border agents from the Armenia-Azerbaijan border at the request of Pashinyan

Goris and Chakaten in Syunik are first. They were deployed there in December 2020 at the request of Pashinyan.
source,

these are the former regime's plans after the removal of Pashinyan, according to Bagrat

(1) The end of Pashinyan's anti-Russian foreign policy.
(2) No constitutional reforms until new elections [Pashinyan did not plan to hold one that soon either]
(3) No Academic City. [need to involve as many student protesters as possible]
(4) Reversing Pashinyan's policy of removing the Armenian Language from the science field. [unclear what it means, is it about shifting to English-language programs?]
(5) Reversing Pashinyan's plan for the Central Bank to have access to bank account balances [but not individual transactions] for anti-laundering purposes.
(6) Won't raise the transport price. [need Dog to join protests]
(7) The release of former officials from jails. The opposition calls them "political prisoners". A U.S. report on Armenia says there are no political prisoners in Armenia.
(8) Bring back the Nagorno-Karabakh officials imprisoned in Baku.
(9) Delimit the borders under one package after signing a peace agreement.
source, source,

prominent opposition figure and protest co-organizer wishes the death of Armenian sappers who carry out demining activities on Tavush borders

EDGAR GHAZARYAN (Serj-era head of Staff of Constitutional Court): There have already been two instances of Armenian sappers blowing up on the mines planted by Armenian soldiers in Armenia. I wish this to all of them. We wish for every Armenian sapper who enters that minefield to be removed dead or wounded.

Արդեն երկրորդ դեպքն է, որ հայ սակրավորը պայթում է հայ զինվորի կողմից տեղադրված ականի վրա ՀՀ ինքնիշխան տարածքում: Մաղթում ենք, որ դա վերաբերվի բոլորին: Ինչքան հայ սակրավոր կմտնի ականապատ դաշտ, ցանկանում ենք, որ այնտեղից դուրս բերվի նրա մարմինը կամ վիրավոր մարմինը

source,

prominent ruling party MP shared a death threat he allegedly received on Facebook

Which one would you choose?
(1) Join [the impeachment of Nikol]
(2) Nemesis 2.0 [get assassinated]
(3) A ticket to Istanbul [because Nikol = "Turks"]
The MP Alexanyan accused ARF of inciting violence and using a rhetoric towards Pashinyan that's 80% similar to the rhetoric they used before the assassination of PM Vazgen Sargsyan in 1999.
He also accused the Archbishop-led protest of being "fascist" after one of the speakers said, "Those who are not Armenian should leave this country" [presumably "Turks"]. Another opposition speaker thanked the ethnic minority supporters who joined them.
source, source,

This is your only realistic chance to prevent Nikol from building the Academic City and turning your child gay by filling up the Academic Library with George Soros books.

The opposition called for total paralysis of Yerevan starting at 8 am through road closures, strikes, and other acts of civil disobedience. A ruling party MP described it as acts of "obedience" by Kocharyan's team towards his "northern rulers" [Russia].
source, source,

STARMUS 2024 science-music festival begins in Slovakia

https://www.starmus.com/

Armenia's car insurance market has been liberalized

REPORTER: The car insurance market was liberalized a year ago. Instead of fixed prices, companies offer their own prices now. The monitoring body, the Motor Insurance Bureau, reviewed the outcome a year later.
BUREAU: The outcome meets our expectations and we are satisfied. The practice of other countries shows that liberalization can briefly raise the prices before it's reduced by competition, but we didn't see a price hike in Armenia.
REPORTER: The prices were reviewed twice over the last year. Initially, it dropped too much amid a competition between firms trying to attract clients. The coverage also improved for motorists, raising the size of average compensation.
BUREAU: That's why the second correction was made, raising the prices. Still, the price [premiums] is 2% lower and the size of compensation is 17% larger than before the liberalization. It meets our expectations.
REPORTER: Here are stats from one of the car insurance firms...
2023: 83K clients
2024: 87K clients
2023: ֏3.7B collected
2024: ֏2.9B collected
2023: ֏2.047B compensated
2024: ֏2.056B compensated
INGO INSURANCE FIRM: This system is fair because it rewards drivers with a good record, allowing them to freely choose between firms.
more in video,

Hi all! I'm new in this sub thread. I have an issue with my D3s. I bought it used on Facebook marketplace for dirt cheap with 4 lenses. All of the lenses work fine. When it comes to the camera, it came with a drained battery and without a charger. I bought a charger and when I saw that the battery was fully charged, I put it into my camera. When I turned on the camera, the low battery symbol started flashing and none other than the top LCD screen was working. I tried charging the batteries again and it still gives me the same issue. It doesn't let me see the screen or any of the functions. Is there any hope for this old camera?