I'm thinking about just getting a Mazda CX-5 but unsure if I should just buy new vs. used/pre-owned.
From the dealer, I am quoted a 2.5K discount (Sticker showed 37,995.00, after discount is 35,495.00) for a new CX-5 premium plus. I'm fairly sure that my credit score (~780) should also qualify for the 0% APR for 36 months based on searches (offer ends 05/31). Curious if this is on the lower end or there is more room to go? I'd assume not much more is possible.
My other option is to buy a CPO. There's a 2021 Grand Touring Reserve with 40K miles going for about 25K in my area, which is roughly the yeaprice combination I'd go for. I'd probably pay cash if I buy used which introduces the opportunity cost of paying cash which is like 4K (5% interest for 36 months if I put into US treasury bonds). Looking for thoughts and advice. Thank you!

I've worked for your company for the past year as a manager and have never really felt trained/appreciated/ listened to or taken seriously. I came to you the 2nd month of my employment frustrated hoping to change a few things. You taught me that was fruitless hence why this will remain unsent. Over the last month my own supervisors don't even try to hide how much they want a coworker to fail, but I made a promise to coach/train her if the opportunity arose once again. I have every intention of trying my best to help her succeed but it appears I am the only one. I have to wonder as the same people think it's OK to cut me down for giving this girl one more chance if you are hoping that I myself fail and leave the company. You allow my boss to micro-manage me as I am never allowed to make any decisions without her approval. She allows my supervisors to talk down to me to my face and talk about me constantly behind my back while saying she has mine. It reminds me of a den of foxes nipping at each other constantly. I'm tired of coming home upset feeling like nothing I ever do is good enough for either my manager or the people under me. What I won't tell you is that today was my final straw, that I have put my resume online and begun searching for a new company. I appreciate the experience but the salary and not being allowed to have weekends off when you allow people beneath my position to have that perk instead. The salary being taxed to the point that my own staff makes hundreds more a paycheck than I do just is no longer worth my mental health and time. You expect me to stand smile while allowing them to berate me is beyond words. Thank you for the experience as I have said so my resume looks more attractive to other employers but that's the only benefit. No wonder the manager I replaced would sit and cry in the office all the time..

i posted a while ago about how my homophobic coworker lied to corporate saying i acted inappropriately at a store meeting that i wasn't even sitting near her at. well, they gave me a final written warning and my SM didn't show any support or even sympathy for me. so i quit :) put in my two weeks three weeks ago (using all my sick time up this week). my last shift is sunday and i've never been more excited to be unemployed. i can finally leave the subreddit and move on with my life. i wish you all the best, you are all brave soldiers doing gods work out there. a bittersweet leave (this subreddit, not starbucks lol). thanks for all the support and i hope y'all all get raises soon bc god knows you deserve it. godspeed 🫡

hi everyone!
in february my landlady raised my rent from 1200 to 1400, and i didn’t know any better so i signed a new lease. then my partners lease was due and we thought, might as well! so when i brought that up to my landlady, she said okay but the price is now 1800. i, again, not knowing this was fully illegal, signed the lease. after talking to some coworkers and friends they all agreed that this is extremely illegal and… yeah… i don’t know what to do now. i called the bc tenancy branch and they told me to apply for dispute resolution, but i wanted to talk to my landlady first since ive been here for about 5 years now. she basically told me that i could either swallow the price or find somewhere else as she could “easily rent this for 2k a month”. yeah, i thought she was nice, but she’s just horrible. anyway, i don’t know what to do. me and my partner are looking for new places, but the market is insane. what should i do? i’m scared of conflict resolution because she literally lives above me, she can straight up just lock me out of my home. and she’s broken a few laws already, so i gotta assume the worst here. has anyone ever dealt with this before? what did you do? did it all work out??? i’m really scared because my girlfriend doesn’t make much as she is still in school, and i make just enough to cover rent. i really desperately need advice.
thank you.
TLDR: landlady illegally raised my rent, am freaking the fuck out.

Read the full blog here!
If you are in the midst of choosing a database management system (DBMS), you have two top options: PostgreSQL and MySQL.
Both databases are open-source and have a large user base, making them popular choices for many web applications.
But which one is better for your specific needs?

MySQL Database

Firstly, let's take a closer look at MySQL.
MySQL is an open-source relational database management systems (RDBMS) made by Oracle. It's designed to help users efficiently store, manage, and pull up structured data. Boasting its versatility, MySQL is being used for everything from small projects to big websites and even massive company solutions.

Why choose MySQL?

MySQL is a go-to choice for companies when it comes to software as a service. If you're looking for reasons why, here are a few of them:

• Easy to use
• Scalable
• 24/7 uptime

PostgreSQL Database

Now, we look at PostgreSQL, another popular open-source RDBMS.
PostgreSQL, or "Postgres" for short, kicked off back in 1986 at the Berkeley Computer Science Department, University of California. It's an object-relational database management system (ORDBMS) that's packed with powerful features and really nails standards compliance.
It's common use cases are:

• LAPP Stack Database
• Transaction Database
• Geospatial Database

Why choose PostgreSQL?

Among the relational databases, PostgreSQL has been gaining popularity over the years due to several factors, including:

• Multi-version Concurrency Control (MVCC) model
• Supports SQL (relational) and JSON (non-relational) querying
• Data integrity and protection

Key Differences of PostgreSQL vs MySQL

Popularity
The popularity of PostgreSQL and MySQL is soaring thanks to the cloud, which makes things easier to set up.
In 2023, PostgreSQL was awarded the Database Management System of the Year by DB-Engines.
While PostgreSQL is the go-to for professional developers, learners are still big on MySQL, with 45% preferring it over PostgreSQL.
Data types
MySQL and PostgreSQL both handle a bunch of data types, from the simple to the more complex ones.
MySQL supports various data types for different applications, including Integers, Characters or Strings, Dates with Timestamps and Time Zones, Boolean, Float, Decimal, Large Text, and BLOB for binary data (like images). However, it doesn't support geometric data types.
On the other hand, PostgreSQL supports traditional SQL data types (e.g., Numeric, Strings, Date, Decimal) and unstructured types (e.g., JSON, XML, HSTORE), network data types, bit strings, etc. It stands out by supporting ARRAYs, NETWORK types, and Geometric data types for spatial data, thanks to the PostGIS extension, an open-source extension for advanced spatial functions.
See the complete details here.
License
MySQL's community edition uses the GPL license, which is pretty open.
On the other hand, Postgres goes with the PostgreSQL license—it's liberal, kind of like BSD or MIT licenses.
Despite MySQL being all about GPL, some users worry since Oracle owns it. That's actually why MariaDB was created as a sort of branch-off from MySQL. Oracle still owns MySQL, but the community rallies behind MariaDB.
PostgreSQL has been free to use and distribute since its inception. It's never been owned by any enterprise company unless you count the 1986 Berkeley Computer Science Department as a company.
Queries
MySQL uses a proprietary SQL database language, which is straightforward to learn and implement.
In contrast, PostgreSQL uses the standard SQL dialect that beginners may struggle with at first but will reward them in the long run since they'll have a solid foundation for other databases like Oracle, SQL Server, and others.
Database performance
MySQL performs better with simple SQL queries, while PostgreSQL excels at complex ones. However, for most workloads, Postgres and MySQL have similar performance, with up to 30% variation. Regardless of the database, missing an index can degrade query performance by 10x to 1000x.
MySQL has always been faster than PostgreSQL due to the way it implements data structures and locks tables, which usually leads to performance issues when dealing with large databases.
However, with its advanced indexing functionality and MVCC model for concurrency control, PostgreSQL can outperform MySQL on complex queries and large datasets.
Security
MySQL and PostgreSQL both have excellent security features. They both support RBAC.
They also support secure connections through SSL, advanced authentication methods like Kerberos and LDAP, and encryption at the column level.
However, PostgreSQL has a slight edge over MySQL in terms of security. It uses its client authentication system to perform user authentication, while MySQL relies on the host operating system for this task, which can be more vulnerable.
Architecture
MySQL is a relational database, while PostgreSQL is an object-relational database with advanced data types and inheritance for objects. However, this complexity can make PostgreSQL more challenging to use.
PostgreSQL comes with one ACID-compliant storage engine, while MySQL gives you options with 15 different storage engines beyond its default storage engine, InnoDB. This huge selection means you can easily find one that fits your specific needs.
Storage
Data storage is essential for any database. PostgreSQL and MySQL offer various data storage options, including Tables and Indexes on disk. This section looks at two storage options: common storage and pluggable storage.
PostgreSQL supports tablespaces for storing Tables, Indexes, and Materialized Views in various locations, improving I/O efficiency. However, it doesn't offer pluggable storage engines yet.
MySQL also uses tablespaces (within the InnoDB engine) for efficient I/O distribution by grouping physical objects. Unlike PostgreSQL, MySQL supports pluggable storage engines, enabling it to meet specific needs to store data for different applications, such as OLTP and Data Warehousing.
Replication
MySQL supports primary-replica and multi-replica replication, copying data changes from the primary to replicas using SQL. This asynchronous replication could affect performance and scalability.
MySQL replication allows replicas to manage reads and writes, ensuring continuity after a primary crash. However, syncing changes when transitioning a replica back to primary can slow the process, particularly with lengthy SQL operations.
PostgreSQL replication uses WAL files for fast, reliable, and manageable replication, outperforming MySQL's. It supports primary-replica and multi-replica setups, including cascading replication, with options for synchronous or asynchronous modes. Asynchronous allows for read requests on replicas, while synchronous replication ensures consistency across replicas and the primary but slows down transaction commits.
Community support
PostgreSQL and MySQL are both open-source databases, which means that they have a large community of developers who contribute to their development. However, the size of the community differs for these two databases.

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Before starting your project, consider which database system meets your needs. PostgreSQL is favored for enterprise applications because of its advanced features and reliability. In contrast, MySQL better suits smaller-scale web applications.
At StarTechUP, we offer expert web development services using both PostgreSQL and MySQL databases. Our experienced developers can help you choose the right database for your project and ensure its seamless integration into your web application.
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So today I had a woman let’s name her Jane come to pick up her child’s medication. And I told her kindly at the time that it was going to be about 45 minutes since we were short staffed. The woman replies “ugh see this is why I hate this pharmacy. I requested the refill at 11:30 today why isn’t it ready?!” Which I kindly say, “maam I apologize but we are extremely short staffed and we are doing everything we can to help get everyone their meds. I’ll see you in 45 minutes.” To which this evil cake face responses “no I’ll see you in 30 minutes and it better be ready.” And she proceeds to gas it out of drive through. (We have two full time and two part time people there at the time and truck plus 4 shots waiting and my pharmacist was in an interview for another part timer) one of the full times started profusely vomiting so she leaves (side note the full time that left has called out of work every single week at least two days so she not expected back). So now there are three techs in the pharmacy two on customer service and one girl counting. Time passes and I think oh that woman isn’t back yet maybe she’s just gonna wait for the text. It had been like 20 minutes and she’s a known problem. Truly she thinks we only have her family’s prescriptions to fill. She then rolls of to drive through at maybe 30 minutes since the last time I’ve seen her and I tell her, “hey Mrs Jane I apologize but blah blah isn’t filled yet could you either come wait inside that way I can just check you out the moment it’s done or you can make a loop and hop back in line and I’ll have it ready and waiting when you get back.” She proceeds to shoot laser beams out her eyes at me and yell, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I TOLD YOU ID BE BACK IN 20 MINUTES WHY THE ____ IS BLAH BLAH’S MEDICINE READY. GET IT READY RIGHT NOW!” “Maam, I understand it’s frustrating but you will not yell at me. If you will kindly come inside-“ “NO YOU WILL FILL THOSE PRESCRIPTIONS RIGHT THIS SECOND AND GIVE THEM TO ME. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SLAP A LABEL ON THEM” “Maam, I’m sorry but that’s not how this works. I have to print the label pull the drugs verify the drug is the correct dose and ndc then count it out then it’s got to have a photo for proof of the quantity I counted then it gets its vial. Then I scan everything then it gets a label slapped on it then it gets bagged. Then I hand it off to the pharmacist to make sure I am giving the correct drug,quantity to blah blah. So no I do not slap labels on anything. Now you can either move out of my drive through and come inside or you can make a loop.” At this point I’m shaking bc that’s how I get pissed one of my part time coworkers asks to take over and I told her no because the front pick up also has a line. “ what are you gonna do move my car. Fill my scripts for blah blah now. I hate this pharmacy yall are so lazy. Every time I’m here it’s always so busy and yall are so hateful to me and my family.” “Maam would you prefer I transfer you else where bc there are people behind you who need their drugs to and you sitting here prevents me from helping them or you. So you have your options. Or I’m going to get the pharmacist involved.” Didn’t even have to bc one of my beautiful regulars happened to be inside and called my pharmacist and told her that I needed help My pharmacist proceeded to come up with her 5’2 self and tell her if she doesn’t move in the next ten seconds she’s calling the dr and telling them we will not longer be filling for them and they will have to go else where. The woman left and sent her husband who apologized but I’m transferring them out tomorrow. Happy Tuesday! Thanks for reading

hi everyone!
in february my landlady raised my rent from 1200 to 1400, and i didn’t know any better so i signed a new lease. then my partners lease was due and we thought, might as well! so when i brought that up to my landlady, she said okay but the price is now 1800. i, again, not knowing this was fully illegal, signed the lease. after talking to some coworkers and friends they all agreed that this is extremely illegal and… yeah… i don’t know what to do now. i called the bc tenancy branch and they told me to apply for dispute resolution, but i wanted to talk to my landlady first since ive been here for about 5 years now. she basically told me that i could either swallow the price or find somewhere else as she could “easily rent this for 2k a month”. yeah, i thought she was nice, but she’s just horrible. anyway, i don’t know what to do. me and my partner are looking for new places, but the market is insane. what should i do? i’m scared of conflict resolution because she literally lives above me, she can straight up just lock me out of my home. and she’s broken a few laws already, so i gotta assume the worst here. has anyone ever dealt with this before? what did you do? did it all work out??? i’m really scared because my girlfriend doesn’t make much as she is still in school, and i make just enough to cover rent. i really desperately need advice.
thank you.
TLDR: landlady illegally raised my rent, am freaking the fuck out.

Hi! I just got prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and will be on 25mg for the first few weeks (will go to 50mg after that). Im reading a lot about base side effects with mood swings and all- I’m hoping to hear about ways to manage that and/or positive experiences with Zoloft.
I am also starting a new job in 2 weeks where I will be doing creative content for lots of clients so I feel like this is not the best time to be starting a new medication. Kinda stressed about the thought of suffering through irritability and mood swings while having to get to know my new coworkers and be productive at work. Any advice/positive experience stories are welcome!
Thank you!!

2017 Audi A4
Looking for a quote to ship from 15213 PA to 90024 CA Mid June.
No Specific Requirement. Non-Enclosed.
Thank you!

I(17f) and my mother(53f) have really only had eachother. I will admit, I have luxuries like a phone, iPad, laptop, AirPods etc that she’s bought for me which I am grateful for. Since I am an inly child, and my father isn’t around I am her support system ig if you put it that way. She’s an immigrant, making me the first to go to college in the states. With that said, I’m counting down the days to finally leave for extended periods of time, and distancing myself, meaning I’m purposely looking for a college that’s over a 2-3 hr drive from where I live(she doesn’t like driving over an hour). Though I love my mother she has her qualities that seriously make me consider leaving. First, she is very narcissistic. From where she comes from, she doesn’t believe in therapy and if you seem “depressed” her first option is to tell you to go to a psych ward. Not even as a genuine answer but as a threat, like she knows what goes on there and how dehumanizing it can be and wants to make you stop feeling what you do. But when you do express your feelings she turns it into a her problem. “Why are you sad when I do everything give you” If I’m feeling down about my looks or weight it’s nothing uplifting, it’s usually “maybe if you washed your face more or ate less you wouldn’t feel that way,” or “I’m this age and my skin look better than you so I don’t know how to help you”. I’m currently struggling with my hair journey and it’s previously been damaged by heat and not proper care and she blames it on my hair styles (which are mainly just slick back buns because I don’t have much time to do much in the mornings) but when I ask for advice she goes silent. She rambles on about how perfect my hair was when she used to do it but I wanted to do “grown” hairstyles. The grown hairstyles she’s talking about is straightening my hair once for a dance and figuring out how to define my curls. The hairstyles she used to do was back when I was 9, when I wore Jo-Jo bows and barrets. Second I’m never “good enough” even when there’s no one to really compare me to. My grades are pretty high but not perfect hundreds so I’m scared if I ever get a B. I test higher than most my friends but she automatically compares them to me thinking they are the perfect poster child just if they have better skin than me. She doesn’t even know them she just “guesses” by their appearance. Third she expects me to do EVERYTHING. I understand she’s an immigrant so she might not know stuff but she doesn’t really “try”. For school in middle school to now I had to enroll myself and answer to the parent questions. I text her coworkers. If my friends parent text them a simple “thank you for letting her go to the party” or wtv I’m the one who needs to respond. At stores or businesses of some sort I have to speak for her, even if she’s perfectly capable(she knows a great amount of English it’s not like she can’t speak it well). Even for job interviews, i had to create an email to send to her boss that said she was sorry for quitting out of the blue that last week and to accept her back(I was literally 13 worrying about if we were going to have a steady income anymore)Recently she’s let some family say at our house for some time to settle into the us. They speak the native language my mom grew up with and I can maybe make basic sentences, but I can’t hold an actual conversation let alone even understand song lyrics in that language. My mom is religious so we go to church and my entire life we’ve gone to an American church that spoke English. The second those people came they complained and forced my mom to go to a church with their native language which is now 5 hours long with no youth group of the sort and doesn’t speak English at all. I’m an Outcast and I can’t talk to the others so I usually bring a book or something. When we got home one day, the people were complaining about how I don’t pay attention in church and read books instead of listening. I try to explain I can’t but all they do is make fun of the fact I can’t understand the language and how can I not know it, like I literally was never taught and just picked up on done stuff when I was younger. But the fact is instead of standing up for me it understanding my point of view, my mother sides with them and laughs at me as well. So now, a few days later I am writing this mixing up all the emotions and coming to this conclusion. I really want to know if it’s just teenage emotion and some Alternative ways I can let them out or if I genuinely have a right to feel like I do so, aita?

Looking for a quote to get a 2021 BMW X7 M50 from a dealership in Wayne, NJ to a house in Charlotte, NC next week. Let me know what other information I can provide. Thank you!

It's blatantly obvious I'm being set up to fail and used as a fall guy at work. I'm pretty sure i was hired because i put i have asd and adhd on my app. And my boss has a lacky who is autistic that he has bullied the shit out of for ten years, and he thought i would be the same. I'm not. So i piss him off because I stand up for myself and the people under me. He lies a lot. I wasn't trained. So I've been winging it, while being micromanaged to the point of using security cams as surveillance, and sending me texts during my off hours asking things like 'why did you need a screwdriver?' To make sure i know I'm watched. I've got a couple coworkers who talk all the time, and can't keep anything to themselves. He also has informed the people under me i threw them under the bus. Not true. And i found out his newest bullshit is that I'm creeping out the females below me because i pace when I'm on the phone, bored, or irritated. If he lies to be, and the my crew, i know he's lying to his bosses too. I'm frustrated and I'm getting angry. And I'm really bad at shutting up when I'm frustrated. But with all the weird lies and the talky peeps around me. How can i bite my tongue, shut the fuck up, until I've found another job? Any tips would be fantastic, I'm overly open and overly honest. Thank you all very much.

I'm not a native english speaker and my language doesn't have past tenses. but over the years i guess somehow i picked up jumbles of sentences that are leaning into past tense without noticing. anyway, a lot of people have been criticizing me for writing in a confusing way, sometimes i use present tense in the same scene where i mostly use past tense.
so i checked on the books i used to read, and found out that a lot of them use past tense to describe an event that, up to my knowledge, is happening right now, as in they're not doing a flashback.
here's my question, when exactly, as a fictional author, do you use past tense and present tense? i would appreciate it if yoh provide an example. not like a quote, but maybe like, you're writing character a in past tense up until they're 25, that's when you start to use present tense, so does that imply every event you're describing of character a counts as flashbacks?
i know it's silly, but I'm curious and doesn't really know what to google. thank you for any kind of response!

My girlfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me yesterday. We had been together since freshman year and are now about to graduate high school. We had been bickering about drinking for the past two weeks and got into another fight (not shouting, we never shout) yesterday, in which I said that the idea of her going clubbing every weekend in college makes my feel sick (we will both be going to the same college) among other things, and she ended up breaking up with me. She said that we could get back together in the near future, but she needs space. Keep in mind our prom is in 3 days (which we'll still be going together to) and I have no other people to rely on emotionally. After we broke up and we were still hanging out together, everything seemed fine so I assumed we would just be taking a break. The day we broke up she went to a coworker's going away party (which I had known about prior) and when she got home I asked to call but she never responded to me. We are still on good terms, so we are still in contact. That night she ghosted me and I saw that she was on social medias but purposefully ignoring me. I, like the idiot I am, got emotionally overwhelmed and bombarded her with texts and calls because I was scared. In the morning she said that she fell asleep right when she got home, which I know isn't true but I don't fault her for telling me this. Today she has been at work all day and just recently texted me. I asked if we were officially no longer together and she said we are not. I'm so scared about not being with her, and being completely lonely. I asked what I could do to give me another chance and she said to give her the space she asked for and that I haven't given her. I understand this request completely. By giving her space, should I not message or call her if she doesn't initiate it? I'm terrified of her just ghosting me and acting like I don't exist. We were on great terms right up to the point that she left my house, we had even been talking until she went to the party yesterday. Please provide me with any advice you can. Thank you.

I’m a SS and just generally want to be friends with my coworkers and make sure they feel that they are being supported and encouraged to do their best day to day. Today my SS reached out to inform me that a partner I work with at nights has felt like I’ve been flirting with them excessively. To the point of making them so uncomfortable they don’t want to even be friends and struggle with working alongside me. This partner has talked with other coworkers and they all thought that I was flirting with that one worker. I just got married and am very happy with my S/O, my partners know I’m married and my husband comes in during my lunches to spend time with me. Hearing this come from my SM was genuinely shocking, I had absolutely no clue i was coming off as such. She recommended I apologize to them for making them uncomfortable, but the thing is I haven’t the slightest clue who “they” are. I was under the belief that all my partners enjoyed working alongside me and could talk comfortably. Even thinking back, I can’t think of a single time that someone has showed they were uncomfortable or avoiding me.
This is making me question my position, how should I move forward?? My favorite part of having this job is connecting with people and getting to know them. I love the social aspect and working as a team to achieve a goal, but apparently it was so bad they didn’t feel comfortable bringing this up to me. Overall I’m jarred, absolutely unsure how to continue. Any advice is appreciated, I’m worried about continuing to work at this starbucks. It all feels so unsalvageable.
Thank you for the read 🙏

My name is Alex! I’m a local trade school student in Long Beach, taking aviation maintenance courses.
Where should I start.. well. My coworkers generally refer to me as 60, I’ve very little left in the way of brain cells, I have many little hobbies and points of interest. Many of which circulate around automobiles, Motorsport, all sorts of history subjects, and even Legos as of recently.
I’ve got some cool stories to tell, anyone who’d like to sit and chat, feel free to DM me. :) thank you for reading, have a lovely day.

For context I live about 2000 miles away from my family with my fiancé who is in the military and is supposed to deploy at any point in the next month or so which is just so great because I also don’t know when he’s coming back. We’re getting married in October and trying to plan that around his delayed deployment is extremely stressful. I am a full time undergrad online student and just added a minor while I’m starting my honors thesis research project in which I’m conducting my own study this fall. I work full time in a special ed classroom and while I love kids and love working with special needs kids and have a couple years of experience, I hate the classroom I’m in. There are 11 kids in it who are constantly, and I mean constantly, having behaviors. And I love behavioral analysis and all that, that’s what I’m studying, but these kids are so low that any behavior corrections do not work. And so I deal with kids pushing other kids, breaking their glasses, putting their hands in the toilet, eloping, dropping to the floor, everything you could possibly imagine. And the kids who do understand actively choose against making good choices. But schools are about to let out and I now have to find a new job for the summer which sucks. My fiancé was supposed to deploy about 2 months ago and didn’t so we’ve been sharing a car and while I love spending time with him more than anything, my only time alone now is my 30 minute break at lunch which I have to listen to my annoying ass fucking coworker yap the whole time in the teachers lounge. Also she is super frustrating too because I have to pick up a lot more slack because of her. But because I don’t have any alone time or time to reset after work (I usually would use my car ride home to listen to my music and reset) I've been taking my overly stressed, reactive work-self home to him and he told me today I have been mean to him a lot lately and I feel horrible about it because it's the last thing I want to do and he does not deserve any of that. On top of everything, we also found out that we are moving across the world at the end of the year so we now have to buy a new car, put a down payment on a place out there, buy a washer & dryer, and also move everything out there which includes our dog, who is also a massive pain in the ass as he is in his pterodactyl phase and constantly getting into anything he can. On top of all of those expenses (and the wedding), our roommate decided he is going to move out at the end of the lease instead of going month to month like we originally agreed on doing until we move, which means we have to find a place to live for 4 months. This means another down payment on an apartment when the studios around us don't go for under $2300. Great. So after he told us that, I decided that I could not attend my cousin's bach party in the summer in order to afford attending her wedding as a bridesmaid in December (which is also 2000 miles away, during the most expensive week to travel, and about a week before we move across the world), and told her I cannot pay my portion of the air bnb but that should be fine because its still 2.5 months out, and she could find someone to go in my place, find a different house, or ask everyone else to pay my portion which would come out to $30/person, which sucks, but I cannot spend $1500 on someones bach (flying, activities, airbnb, grocery, dogcare, parking my car, etc.) during this year of all years. I know I am kind of the asshole for canceling so close, but I can't control all of the unexpected finances I had come up this year. This understandably upset her, and she basically gave me the ultimatum of if I don't pay my portion for the airbnb she is gonna kick me from the bridal party. So that's fantastic truly. And on top of that, my parents are coming out to see me in a couple weeks, and this will be the last time I see my dad before he goes into a surgery that is extremely risky and if does not go well will leave him blind, and I am currently no contact with my deadbeat addict mom as she blocked me on social media for a reason unbeknownst to me. So I am fucking tired. I am stressed. I am burnt out. I am overwhelmed. I am frustrated. And I don't know what to do with any of those feelings because they are truly all "time will fix it" issues. I go to the gym, I eat well, and I prioritize sleep. But I am just stuck in this fucking limbo and I am treating my fiance like shit and I am performing so reactively at work and I feel horrible about that. Ugh. I am hoping this vent will help me get everything off my chest so I can be and feel better. If you read this far, thank you and I appreciate you.

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Hello dear members!
Hope this finds you to be well :)
I am happily engaged to my fiancé who is in Nairobi, Kenya (a Kenyan Citizen). I am the USC. I wish to bring my fiancé to the US to live with me soon after marriage.
Here is the situation:
My fiancé was previously married to another person in India about 7-9 years ago under the islamic ceremony and had a nikah-nama. They had not registered the marriage under the marriage registrar.
Later they divorced after about 1.5 year, once again under the islamic talaq ceremony. However, my fiancé had returned to Kenya and the ex-spouse (the Indian citizen) was in India. So my fiancé had a power-of-attorney person (called as 'vakalat' in islam) be the signatory person on the islamic divorce (which was the 'murbahat' type, meaning mutually agreeable divorce).
So in short, there is no divorce decree from the court for this divorce that took place in India.
Now I am planning ahead for all the documents needed and do not want to end up in a situation where I get married to my fiancé before making sure that the previous marriage is legally binding for US immigration purposes and am helping navigate the journey to find and source confirmed cases of similar situation and confirmation that the islamic divorce document is valid.
I read on the India reciprocity page (https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/Visa-Reciprocity-and-Civil-Documents-by-Country/India.html), that the islamic divorce and its certified translation (since it is in a non-English language) is valid for US immigration. But then, I came across this case (https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/erB9 - Battered Spouse or Child/Decisions_Issued_in_2009/Jan262009_06B9204.pdf) where the USCIS had denied the 'islamic marriage' part of their complicated situation. Although the ruling was legal since they had a Hindu and an Islamic marriage, the concerning thing for me is this statement in the initial rejection of the I-130 petiion quoted from the case document:
Quote Although your religious divorce is recognized in India as a legal divorce, this is not recognized as a legal divorce for immigration purposes. In order for the legal termination of a marriage to be considered valid for immigration purposes, it must have been registered with a civil authority.
I just wanted so re-assurance that the translation of my fiancé's talaq islamic divorce certificate will be accepted at all stages of US immigration up until the eventual N-400 application, especially since she is in Kenya. I don't know if they will use the Kenyan reciprocity (which states court divorce decree is must) or the Indian reciprocity to evaluate my fiancé's previous divorce document.
At this stage, my fiancé has no contact with the ex-spouse and it would be a huge hassle for filing a court divorce (especially that my fiancé is a Kenyan citizen residing in Kenya currently.
Few other notes: Under the Kenyan marriage act of 2014, islamic divorce is acceptable and can be registered (but no divorce decree will be issued). (https://kenyalaw.org/kl/fileadmin/pdfdownloads/Acts/TheMarriage_Act2014.pdf). However US immigration does not accept this in the Kenya reciprocity page on the state department website.
Under the Indian act(s) of "Muslim Personal Law (Shariat) Application Act, 1937." (https://www.indiacode.nic.in/bitstream/123456789/2303/1/A1937-26.pdf), and "Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939" (https://www.indiacode.nic.in/bitstream/123456789/2404/1/193908.pdf); the islamic divorce document issued in India (talaq-nama) 'seems' to be legally binding for India as well as for US immigration.
Just too many facts/points here to make a conclusive understanding of what to do and to reassure myself.
Thanks a ton for your time to read through this patiently!!

I’ll be finally talking again tomorrow after losing my voice, but it’s been a fun run using my whiteboard to talk to people. I was able to talk to coworkers in the kitchen but I couldn’t raise my voice and I didn’t want any customers to hear the pubescent goose-honk that is my voice right now.
It’s interesting because whenever I’d run food to other server’s tables and write “enjoy” on my whiteboard, they would answer me like I’m deaf by either answering quietly, nodding, or even signing “thank you”. I appreciate the consideration, but it gets funnier.
Whenever I would greet my own tables, I would write on my whiteboard that I lost my voice and they all seem to understand that. Yet, they still talked to me like I couldn’t hear lol. They’d respond silently, use exaggerated hand gestures (for example: “can you break this ticket? Breakkkk it?” makes breaking motion with hands), or over-annunciate their words. I wasn’t going to remind them that I can hear them just fine and I always could.
Oh well, today was still a great day! Management was kind enough to give me an easy section today. I got great tips. I also had another awesome add-on score when I never suggested any add-ons.