Sorry for the big rant. :( My 2 year old (27months) was sleep trained and started sleeping through the night in his own room since he was 18months.( Even before moving into his room he was a good sleeper)We went on multiple vacations since then some are longer for almost 5 weeks and he went to bed with us(11pm) and slept in our bed. But we never had any issue when we cane back home he went back to his room at his regular time 8-8:30pm without any issues. Lately he is sleeping very late even when we put him in his crib at 8pm he is sometimes still awake at 8:30 or sometimes even 9. He just lies down and sings and talks something and eventually sleeps . But since the last week he’s been waking up every single night at around 11pm or 12pm starts crying for us wanting us to hold him or take him to our room so he could sleep with us (As soon as we pick him up he stops crying) In the past he rarely woke up like this so whenever he woke up we brought him into our room and let him sleep with us, just a hands full of times though. One day recently he woke up and just refused to sleep in either his room or our room but cried (tantrum). I don’t know what is going on please help. It definitely doesn’t seem like night terrors as he is not waking up frightened, I feel he basically is not going into deep sleep he keeps moving most of the time.

We're really struggling with bedtime for our 4 year old. It's always been difficult, but he became an older brother 2 months ago, and it's gotten much harder.
We used to snuggle him to sleep, but it was taking over an hour and didn't feel sustainable. He has nap times at school during the week, and that's when we struggle most. Weekends he doesn't get a nap and falls asleep pretty easily.
We start our bedtime routine at about 6 PM, with potty, toothbrushing, and reading books. We turn the lights off around 6:30. This is likely too early and we'll try to push it back later.
About a month ago, we started a routine of about 20 minutes of snuggles, then we start taking breaks out of the room. We try to have 5 minute intervals in and out of the room. He's really struggling with this routine. When it's time for us to step out, he will cry and try to grab us to keep us in the room. When we're out of the room, he'll usually come to the door and call for us. We help him back to bed, but it happens several times a night. Right now the routine takes over an hour and a half and we're not seeing many signs that we're making progress towards a more independent bedtime. I think he's been able to fall asleep while we're out of the room once in the past month.
Generally, he does not like when we're not in the same room as him, which has gotten harder now that we have the new baby.
We are at our wits end. Any ideas to help create a new routine would be so appreciated!

Hi all, making another post for some additional pens I need to sell to pay off bills.
There's some more pens still available in my past post here: https://www.reddit.com/Pen_Swap/comments/1csxfbh/wts_leonardo_momento_zero_andromeda_rhodium/
I'm located in Australia so all prices are set in AUD. Worldwide shipping $25 AUD (unless it actually costs me less to ship to your country).
Verification and album
I'll be including some ink samples with every sale!
Here are the pens:
Pilot Custom 823 (M nib) in Amber [B] $280 AUD Just like everyone says, this pen writes like a dream. It's truly one of my favourite pens. The only reason I'm deciding to sell it is because most of the pens I have left in my collection are customs and I have the hope that once I'm in a more financially stable position I'll be able to buy this one again.
Pilot Vanishing Point (F nib) in black and gold [B] $180 AUD I am not a fan of this pen at all unfortunately. It writes too fine for me and I'm not a fan of the clicking mechanism.
Sailor Pro Gear (B 21k rhodium plated nib) in black with rhodium trim [B] $250 AUD This is a really nice pen and it writes beautifully well, just like you'd expect a Sailor to write. It has the more detailed old nib style with '1911' written on it.
Please let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like me to take more pictures or videos, I'd be more than happy to provide them :)
Thank you!

Hi I'm new to this and I don't know the right terms to use in the subreddit so I'm really sorry if I use the wrong terms. I'm a 17 year old female and have a 21 year old biological sister and 8 year old adoptive sister.
So my parent have been fostering kids for 13 years since I was 4 years old. I'm graduating high school this year and for the past couple years I've been trying to get my parents to stop fostering not for selfish reasons my younger sister has been having behavioral problems and it may be due to an undiagnosed mental disorder so I think that it would be good for us to slow down so she doesn't have that stress on her but my mom is very persistent on fostering. We used to have this rule that if everyone in the house doesn't say yes then we would deny the foster kid. Recently I've been saying no a lot more in worry for my younger sister and honestly it's extremely mentally draining for me as well. I'm not sure how many bio kids of foster parents are on here but it's extremely lonely because people just tell you to be grateful that your parents are so generous but I don't think they understand what I'm really feeling. I've had so many mental issues due to situations I was put in by foster kids and in no way am I blaming them because most of the time it just happened because of the trauma that they have been through. But recently we got a call for 3 kids under 5 year old one being an infant and I said no because graduation is in a week in a half and I really just want to have both my parents there and focused on me for once in my life. My mom called me after I texted no and just kept yelling at me for saying no wanting an explanation and every time I said that its was close to graduation and I just thought it was a bad time and she didn't take that answer because she said that "Nothing would change" and I apparently I said something close to a "yes" and she took it and got the kids now we have them and things have changed I have a lot of events and I even had one of my last school events that I really wanted my mom and dad to see but the day of my mom told me she was going to be there. I have been confiding in my friend but they don't understand so I'm coming here for help. My mom wont take no for an answer any more. We've had 27 foster kids in total over the years and 3 of them not including the ones we have now have been in our house when I said no but my mom manipulated me into saying yes. I don't know what to do anymore. I have college and I have to stay at home for the next year and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
I'm really sorry for the dump but I just need help. I've tried to talk to her but it always ends with me crying. I just don't know how to tell her that I want her love too. Every time that I've said no it is normally followed with a couple days, sometimes weeks of her being mad, borderline ignoring me, and guilting me. I have tried to bring up that I just wanted their full attention and she guiltied me by saying that I think she's a bad mom which she isn't to the foster kids it just tends to come at the cost of my happiness

Hello, Thanks for stopping by, posting this again, already got a few interested users, looking for more as it helps. If you are looking to thrift apparels for personal use or to resell but don't know of any good places you can find them, I can help. Have been thrifting for personal use for the past 4-5 years and have found many gems at steal prices (Mostly 150-200 a piece). Brands include H&M, Zara, Vero Moda, Zara Basic, Forever 21, Jennyfer, Global Desi, Old Navy, Shein and many more. The apparels could be New with Tags, New Without Tags (Based on appearance) or pre loved. Needless to say this is for women only
DM Me if, -You can decide quickly whether to buy or to pass based on brand name, photo & size label. As it will be a live haul, being responsive & quick is essential, being slow spoils the flow. No compulsions to buy. -You wish to checkout what apparels are found during such hauls, no compulsions to buy -You need apparels for your wardrobe/personal use or to resell or need a wardrobe overhaul on a budget -You need thrifted apparels that do not have defects but don't know where to find them -Wish to experience authentic Mumbai street apparel shopping -College student looking for budget shopping -You understand all of the above & are comfortable on a women only whatsapp group
Don't DM me if, -You are expecting ironed, ready to wear apparels, these will need a wash + ironing upon arrival, no exceptions (This is thrifting lol) -You are expecting men's apparels -You are expecting accessories, bags, belts and other things -You are expecting apparels that will be the perfect fit, its a gamble, I can share the size if mentioned on the merchandise, cannot help beyond that
May speak with you over call to make you a part of smaller group, so men/creeps please don't even try, this is for women only.
Thanks, -delicate_sparkle

Before I start, I'm using a LG G8X ThinQ (North America) on Android 10
Okay, I know that the tutorial says, first thing, in big red letters, "Warning: Before following these instructions please ensure that the device is currently using Android 12.0 firmware." I would really really like to do that, but my device doesn't update OTA properly any more (after some googling, I suspect it's the fault of a rooted adblocker). I don't have a backup of the partitions before rooting (I know, bad idea) and flashing any of the old partitions I have doesn't fix it. I guess I could try to flash using LGUP but I don't run Windows and it seems like most builds of it are maybe malware, so I don't wanna risk it. TLDR: I can't update to 12.0
Anyway, if possible, I'd like to install LineageOS over Android 10, but I don't want to brick my phone. I don't care very much if it's less secure (I can't update anyway) or if I have to build LineageOS myself, I just want to know if I'm going to brick my phone by doing this.

so I usually share reels with some discord friends,
shared one today and one sent me a message and a screenshot saying insta leaked me... the screenshot is the reel and a modal on top of it saying "sub94 has shared this Reel with you"
This has NEVER happened to me before, workflow was open reel, share, copy link, paste into discord
is there any legal recourse for this that I can take up on my end? this has to be a breach of privacy of some sort

I'm an 18 year old male and so is my friend. I've known him since Kindergarten and we've spoken daily since then. Around middle school he told me he was gay, it didn't bother me at all. He never brought it up again after that and I honestly forgot.
That was until yesterday. For the past month he'd been acting strange and it felt like he was building up to something. He sure was. Last night over Discord of all places he messaged me and flat out asked if we could be anything more than friends. I ignored it and waited to bring it up today since we were gonna hang out.
When I got to his house to pick him up he never mentioned what he sent. The day went as normal until we got back to my room to play a Batman game. We sat on the floor and played as normal and legit out of nowhere he put his hand on my leg and leaned close to me and asked what my answer to the question was.
I got really weirded out because that was out of nowhere and y'know he'd been my friend since I was coherent. I jokingly pushed his hand off and said f*ggot. I expected him to laugh it off but he didn't. I then followed it by saying I just don't swing that way and that I didn't have any problems with it I just didn't want him to have feelings for me. He pushed on and said I might like it. That part weirded me out even more and told him that he's being weird. He went silent and said he wanted to be taken home, so I did.
Around 20 minutes ago he bombed me with messages about how im cruel and should just give him a chance. This all feels so odd since it's my best friend randomly coming on to me after all these years.

I am 7 and a half weeks pregnant. This is not my first pregnancy as I have had some pretty traumatic miscarriages in the past, my last being about 7 years ago. Those miscarriages were with a different partner that was extremely abusive and was even abusing me while I was pregnant. My fiance and I are SO happy that I am pregnant now. He is SO supportive of me and I could not imagine a more perfect life or partner or even a more perfect time to be pregnant. That being said, I’m freaking the hell out about 90% of the time. Any symptom I have, or during moments of lack of symptoms, i’m scared that it’s because i’m having a miscarriage. I’m even afraid to have sex because during my last pregnancy they said i shouldn’t. we have our first ultrasound appointment next week and I am almost more scared than excited about it because i’m afraid they’re going to tell me the baby didn’t make it. my fiance is so supportive and understanding that i am able to voice my concerns and explain why im worrying and he listens to EVERY word i say. i just want to be mentally stronger for myself and the baby so i can stay as stress free as possible. does anyone have any advice or stories about how they stayed calm during the first trimester?
i also wanted to ask if anyone else has lumbar scoliosis and how this affected their pregnancies and births. i have a pretty decent curve but my parents opted out of surgery when i was young because they couldn’t afford it and at this point i have always figured it would be harder to recover from the surgery so i haven’t gotten it. the doctor i was seeing 7 years ago in my last pregnancy said i would not be able to get an epidural and that i may end up in a wheel chair for half my pregnancy and that she has no idea how id be capable of delivering. she was an old doctor and very old school.. she wasn’t even a delivery doctor. that being said her words still pierce my brain and i’m terrified that i won’t have the option to deliver naturally or that if everything is okay with the baby and i make it to full term that i will just do terribly with delivery.
my anxiety is just sky rocketed right now!! so many thoughts and it’s hard to stay positive. thanks in advance for any advice or experiences shared

This week hasn't been great, and today I got some truly rough news; a friend back home is not doing too well and is in the hospital. The good thing to report is, it seems like she will be all right, and it looks like I might be able to fly out and stay with her a bit when she gets back home. (Talk about good timing; my wife just switched jobs at the beginning of the month and we got her vacation-day payout from the old job today, which is enough to cover the cost of an unexpected cross-country trip!) And if you're a good-mental-energy-sending kind of person, this situation could use any and all positivity, so spare a good thought for us.
I have lots of good thoughts today for these people whose happy mail made today a lot more manageable for me!
u/Fancykiddens (x2) - Thanks for the beautiful birds-and-flowers foiled card, and the Shrimply the Best mini-card! (Where did you FIND all this great shrimp stuff, anyway?!)
u/isar-love (x2) - I had no idea when you shared the islands postcards for the Meta "Something that Starts with the First Letter of Your Name" challenge that they were, like, fabric! I have just been sitting here rubbing my Papua New Guinea map postcard because it is making me smile. And thank you for the Slovenian postcard, too - what a cute design (even if the L got a bit slighted, haha)!
u/KoreWrites - I don't know and I don't care how many copies of the Wild Animals of the World Emperor Penguins I get because there is no such thing as "enough" penguin mail, let alone "too many" penguin cards, SO THERE. I'm excited you got those sets at such a steal!
u/on1oman1ac - Wow, I love this postcard from Vietnam and hearing about your visit! I can't say that I have ever heard of a cooking class that incorporated a boat ride before, but I love the idea and I'm glad you got to enjoy it with your mom!
u/wabisabi_sf - Thank you for sending me happy mail from your getaway! I love this Greetings from Utah postcard and of course the National Postal Museum stamps!

Would it be possible to allow a user to copy and paste the settings for whole section folders in the same way that you can for lists of albums, songs, artists etc.
My use case being that I have several sections based around genres. Eg a pop genre section with lists of pop artists, albums, top rated songs etc. If I want to create the same section for indie music I currently have to set it all up again from scratch, so the ability to copy and paste my pop section then change the inputs to indie rather than pop would be a real time saver!
Thanks for an awesome app!

The giant 1.11.33 asteroid set to destroy most custom 3D mods done been BLOWED UP. I just used TN's mining lasers of course 😁.
Meshgate. Aka Meshageddon, or the Meshpocalypse has been postponed.
The verbosely named tool "Starfield .nif Mesh Path Migration Tool for SF 1.11.33" you can find on nexus here https://www.nexusmods.com/starfield/mods/9234 It is a custom version of NifSkope with a new spell that will remap almost all broken old mesh paths to the correct file in game version 1.11.33.
The tool is intended for mod authors, however if you can figure out how to setup NifSkope there is nothing stopping you from attempting to fix your local copy of a mod wile waiting for the author to update. If we could avoid cluttering up the discussion page with questions about how to use NifSkope it would be best, as I assume we all want to prioritize mod authors fixing the source, right?
Stats: 88% of total mesh files are mapped 1:1 - primarily limited by the Blender Plugin not being intended for such tomfoolery. Now that nifskope is the base - NifSkope is about such things.
(My other post - the original announcement - was premature and had a boring title. It works now, and it works well. I am seeing the expected sad posts that just don't need to happen, that's why I'm posting.)
I made it for selfish reasons (*ahem*miniskirts*ahem*), but I'm not posting this for me. It is for us. (And the miniskirts weren't even impacted 🤣)

Successor : u/Intel81994
Hi,
I first found this subreddit and Neville's works in 2018 so I thought I'd share my success/experiences.
I've never posted here, only lurked... daily. I often see people post tiny wins in here like manifesting a test result or a few hundred dollars. I don't see many huge wins except occasionally, or multi-year life changing creations.
Well, I'm not where I want to be bc my goals have gotten a lot bigger, but I've come a long way and finding this work in 2018 changed my life so I want to share with you how.
Not to discourage, but small wins are nothing compared to the deep life changes and incredible abundance you can create in knowing who you really are - just think - there are people out there, several, who own $10M+ houses, multi-millionaires, many came from nothing.
I'm not saying that's the only thing worth striving for or even the source of joy, of course. But my point is anything you want, someone else out there has done it, they are just humans like myself and you.
So here's how my life turned around since 2018 and what I created. The HOW I did so is no different than what you already read on this sub every day.
Neville has been my favorite teacher and this is the MAIN sub I have read over the last few years. I own all of his books and have read them several times.
I regard his methods as most influential for me. This may come off as some motivational story but truth is I use Neville's methods daily and always try to understand and control my beliefs to grow.
Here is how my life changed completely after DOING the work:

• MONEY/TRAVEL : I went from -50k in debt running my own online fitness coaching business at my lowest point not knowing how I would pay rent (long story but I was young and not skilled enough in business at this time to really build a team and 7 figure business like I wanted),

to acquiring amazing skills being an intrapreneur working in a small startup online with a terrific mentor (I manifested this exact position with SATS), traveled the world a crazy amount in the exact places I had wanted to and met a ton of cool people (SATS), over 27 countries now, and grew my net worth to over 250k from 2018-2021.
To my current goals, this is really nothing now and I now surround myself with people doing a ton more than me. So I'm not preaching here, it's just levels to the game right.
I now work professionally in the crypto industry, but also have skills and knowledge to a few types of online businesses in the consulting & marketing space, as well as make money from markets/trading, which is a great vehicle because there are effectively no limits.
I can live anywhere I want, have plenty of cushion and money to live mostly how I want (have larger goals now), have time freedom as well, and most of all, love growth and feel great striving for more. I did SATS to get my current gig.
I've also been trading the last 2 years and no it's not easy, in fact you're competing against algorithms and the best minds in the world so the learning curve is quite steep.
Trading is not easy money, but the potential is there. Besides, trading is just one vehicle, it's not value-additive to the market like businesses are, so I believe it's best used in conjunction with a business/job, and investing longer term is better.
Anyway I turned <40k into ~350K in crypto, and a separate stock portfolio last year.
And yes a lot of that crypto growth was market timing and luck with everything going on, monetary policy and all, and I know people who turned less into several million and also plenty who got liquidated and lost millions. I still spent a lot of time and skill to create that, point is I created all of it in various forms.

• FITNESS/HEALTH: I achieved a more fit and better body than 98% of men have. This was a result of hard work plus these methods and was in 2018 when I decided to undergo a bodybuilding prep for a photoshoot. Great size, leanness, abs, I had been lifting for years but never gotten this in shape.

It was not easy, but I looked incredible, and the exact city/water background scene I had visualized for the photos happened. You can scroll to my IG posts from early 2018 for pics proof.
My health is impeccable and I've for sure made other physical changes, and I think I somehow changed my gf's looks to become better over time too. She was always quite cute though. I'm still very much in shape but now do yoga daily for last few years, as well as lifting.

• LOCATION/LIVING: I manifested the EXACT view I used to visualize in the center of my major city, with a gorgeous view of the ocean and city both, for a great price and have lived here for last 3 years now. In a luxury high rise. I can see ships and yachts right outside my balcony every day. It's literally grander than I even knew to imagine just 5 years ago.
  
• MORE FINANCE: Over the last 2 years my investments and more were doing so well sometimes - not always - that I often was able to have some months making 20-40k, point is I was not worried about work.
  

I also believe parallel realities are real and I used to visualize Bitcoin going to 50k back in 2019 when it had stayed below <10k for 2 years. This was not all due to bitcoin, but rather all sorts of investments, but yes crypto as well.
Some was luck, some was skill and work. All was my creation. I also got quite decent at trading and managing a portfolio that I not only managed to publicly call the exact day of the market TOP in november 2021 but also sniped the bottom in July. Intuition plus knowledge.
So I kept this money, it is not bleeding out in my portfolio with the market. I've devoted a LOT into mastering this craft but again, self concept and Neville helped.
I got hacked for 60k-70k a few months back and chose to give it new meaning and manifested a career change to crypto industry, landing a position making over 10k per month (I'm not happy with this at my current standards of income, but I'm grateful), that I am growing to 20k per month of active income now with other streams.
What's interesting in my recent career manifestation is I decided I want a position that basically pays me to do what I already do (I was independently researching and managing a multi-6 figure crypto portfolio... over a quarter million dollars combined money that I was managing. )
I now get paid a full time 6 fig salary to do nothing extra from what I was already doing and barely work on the actual job with plenty of time for other stuff.
I just decided it was done and that's it. Also of course it's remote... knowing what I know, I will only consider remote jobs (never worked in a physical office and I've actually never had a w2 job before this, always doing sales and stuff or my own thing).
I have been working on increasing my standard to 25k per month minimum of active income generation. Had a lot of ideas come through. I’m just not the type to have a job I think but I have to figure out what I can build again.
Compared to who I want to be at a later date that’s also nothing much. Again, levels to the game.
Now also working on growing a business in this space. This hack event was pretty traumatic but I now see how I 100% manifested it. And I can choose to also create something far greater out of the event now.
With every job I've ever had, I've never worked in an office. I've only ever been remote or online because this is the only thing I was willing to accept. Being a digital nomad has been my norm since I graduated college.
Be specific in what you want and do not settle.
I went to a top 5 US public university and even manifested myself to lead a large pre-med club on campus (I was a pre med student) before I knew Neville. I'm now very glad I chose to go my own route instead of medicine for several reasons beyond scope of this post but anyway.

• SP: Manifested my SP (gf) back in 2018 and we have a great relationship going on 6 years now (together since 2016). I focus more on self love and feeling I AM God rather than seeking it externally. My consciousness and inner connection is my source of sustenance.
  
• Honestly there are so many other crazy little things I can't possibly keep track. Every day I have synchronicities like crazy still. I don't give them much meaning but just take it to mean that I am aligned.
  

My best mental model/tips

• Delude yourself into knowing that imagination is MORE real than the 3d. The 3d is 'old news.' Meaning it's a shadow world. The real creation is happening in your imagination, and there is a time lag in this physical world.

Live in your imagination and tune out anything that does not serve keeping you in an optimal state where you feel in control. The more you focus on things that are meant to distract you or displease you, which state do you create from?

• I do SATS during the day, works fine for me, I don't think it matters much if day/night, but you need to do it. Follow a guided hypnosis session to get deeper into trance first if it helps.
  
• Act and trust deeply that life is leading you to what you want, and the meaning you give to events is literally what molds your future. Choose empowering meanings. Stop being a victim.
  

Make a resolve to never think of yourself as a victim of forces out there, the economy, evil people, whatever it is. You want to control your reality then act like it internally.

• Make a daily routine checklist and stick to it so you internally feel in control of your reality. Mine is: SATS or revision, meditate or breathwork, EFT or writing, cold shower, no phone in the morning, wake at 6am, and of course I exercise daily in some form. I use a spreadsheet to make sure I hit my routines for the day so I don't be a victim but rather stay in control. This is critical for me.
  
• As long as you occupy the realms of consciousness that you want, the result WILL come via downloads and hunches and thoughts, and insane physical things will happen that will 'seem like it would have happened anyway' so don't worry about the how.
  

Random Musings
The thing with manifesting is we sometimes take a passive route and wait for things to happen to us (and sure this is fine and still works), but think- if you don't grow your mental, emotional, skills container to deal with large amounts of money, or a team, or skills to sell and market and manage money... if you suddenly get 500K or 1M, how are you going to hold on to it?
If you lack personal power and execution skills, say you suddenly win 5M from the lottery, do you have the skills to keep it and make decisions at a level that can fluctuate several millions? It's stressful and requires thinking completely differently.
You have to 'stress test' your consciousness and expand your container.
I know that because I got hacked (stolen) ~70k it means nothing because the version of me who makes multi-7 figures a year deals with fluctuations of multi-6 figures in his portfolio all the time, it's part of the game. and I HAVE dealt with 6 figure fluctuations in my portfolio before this hack so it wasn't super new in that sense.
You know time is not real, it's all happening now, Creation is already finished, so you should also know that the way to 'hack' time is making decisions from a place of the future version of yourself you already are.
Make a commitment to stop playing small and settling for crumbs. Why would you get hung up on the one limited way your ego thinks that abundance has to manifest in your life, or love, instead of just feeling the emotions themselves, knowing it's done, and letting your life color it in in grander ways than you could have imagined.
Funny little manifestations and things happen literally every day that I just take it as reflections of me being in my creative power.
Something crazy/funny that happened was on our last trip, I told my girlfriend 'hey, how funny and weird would it be to see a parrot meowing?' - then next day we sit at a cafe and there is a parrot in a cage outside, meowing loudly. The most bizarre manifestation, I didn't even intend for it, just asked hey would it not be funny. Things like this happen so often, I can't keep track.
There is nothing new to learn. Just do the techniques and do self care rituals and get lost in your work. Feel the feeling of utter abundance and freedom now and it will happen.
We live in an advanced economy with the internet, it has never been easier to start or fund a business compared to even 50 years ago (see interest rates), distribution has never been easier, so if you know these tools, why would you not create the biggest dream you can imagine? Why settle for a free $200?
I realize there are levels people go through however so I don't mean to belittle, but now that I have been through so much and grown, I know there is nothing separating myself from multi millions and VC's and creators of large companies except belief, work, and time in this reality.
I have the knowledge, belief, and skills to not need a job if I don't want one. I can instead offer something to the market and be independent.
I'm telling you this stuff works and is sustainable. You can be as specific as you want and get whatever you want, and trust that with the turns life takes you through, it is a BRIDGE meant to turn you into the person to get and sustain what you say you want. Decide it and it is so.
I am someone who is a first generation American immigrant, my parents moved to the US from India when I was 5 and we had very little here. I grew up 'lower' middle class, and didn't have the best money programming from parents, but I always did well in school.
I KNOW I am going to be the first multi millionaire in my family. It's all in how you think about yourself/self concept and the work you do from that mindset. Do actions and shift your environment in accordance with who you want to be.
I always splurge on self care now and do things like fly business class or pay more for a better room because that's who I internally am. Just find a way to produce more and let it flow instead of shrinking yourself to be someone you’re not in your 4D
I don't try to scrimp and penny pinch, I let money flow. Even though getting stolen 70k was traumatic, oh well, I chose to give it a better, empowering meaning and my reality shifted.
That's all I have to say. Do the work. Stop procrastinating with learning. All the teachers, scripture, it's all the same Truth at the core. Learning is fine because you learn different mental models at different points of your life but you need to do the work.
I've been fortunate to not only have explored TONS of teachers and books in this realm, you name it I've probably read it or have a copy, I've also HAD mentors and WORKED directly under multi millionaires older and more experienced than me who know this work very well and knew Neville specifically, and it's the real deal. I did sales for someone in the online coaching space was was very well off and had decades of success and spoke of Neville very often, it was really cool.
Proof of the Law
I don't know what more proof you need that the Law is real. All religions throughout eternity have known this, Neville just distilled the same Truth through his own methods that work really well in my opinion and I personally love his interpretation of scripture.
The most successful people in the world are usually consciously (and some unconsciously) doing these same actions. Just do the work and focus on it coming from a good place of knowing that it's done. You don't need to know HOW but you just need to know the plane is going to somehow land one day.
I just come back to Neville every time, because his methods are simple and philosophies work well for how I think. I've done tons of psychedelic mushrooms over the years which luckily made me very open to this sort of thinking, before that I was very rigid and too '3d scientific' minded in my thinking. Keep in mind there is actually nothing 'unscientific' about the Law... modern science has its own limitations in that we cannot measure many things.
What used to be called magic in years past is now under the realm of science right? I'm not saying I don't value logic and science... I have a science degree from a top 5 university.
I'm just saying your ego mind which wants to keep you stuck and surviving uses the excuse of logic and science when that's actually not the full scope of how reality works, we are incredibly limited in our conscious understanding of reality.... we don't even know what we're doing here on a floating rock in infinite space and we can hardly see much of the light spectrum as it is.
So remember that when your ego tries to believe in your limitations and the 3d reality only. You being here is magic that even the most advanced science does not know the answer to. Do scientists know fundamentally why there is something at all instead of nothing?
Anyway, one more thing is I've never been shy of making relatively bold and fast decisions, investing in a mentor (for business) and just generally betting on myself.
Because getting around people who think bigger than you and don't settle is a hack and it's worth every penny. There is a reason millionaires hang with other millionaires.
I'm not saying to cut people out of your life (unless toxic) but rather to seek proximity and get around winners or pay to join some mastermind in business or whatever you need to do to network in your realm.
Just last week I invested 7.5k for get into a network of high performing young male entrepreneurs just because I want a better network in real life and work on business tactics and execution. When I was 23 I invested 25k that I did not have at the time (I made it happen and earned it back) to get a business mentor. So I use all of this in combo with Neville's methods primarily. I really like revision method as well.
The act of DECISION literally creates a parallel reality and becomes the new bridge to your manifestation.

Hello all. So im gonna be straight up honest in this post, I have been slacking in school, especially this year. Im not trying to make a bunch of excuses, but all of the kids at my school constantly annoy and overwhelm me, which has made me truent very often. I submit assignments very late because its hard for me to start working or have any motivation to do so, and now the school year is ending soon in June and I have 40 missing assignments, an F in History (which really annoys me because I submitted 10 old assignments and got a 15/16 on my project, yet still at an F?) a D in english and science, and a bunch of truancys (which honestly half of them have reasoning behind them, yet they are marked not as such) and now I recently got a letter saying I have to attend summer school. Please, any advice on how to get my grades up and finish assignments before school ends would be apprechiated so much. I really do not want to go to summer school, I will genuinely fucking kill myself if I have to. I have been trying my hardest doing old assingments to not attend.
Also, is it possible to resign from summer school if you already got the letter saying you need to attend, if you got your grades up before hand or am I fucked? I am in California if that changes anything.

hi i’m 17 and i’m trans (ftm). My family would never support me and i live in a shit place so im closeted, and that makes it almost impossible for me to date anyone. at school and at home everyone thinks im a lesbian so even tho i like men im never ever approached by them and it makes me feel ugly and unloveable. but i usually don’t let it upset me and im pretty happy.
but lately,it’s been getting to me. so im back to doing the same old shameful stuff online for validation that i’ve been doing for the past few years. and it’s only getting worse in severity. i know its not right and it’s dangerous but i just feel like i’m not worthy of a normal relationship with somebody my age who is nice and doesn’t want to hurt me. i don’t even feel like a human most of the time i just feel like an object. but it’s not like it isn’t my own fault for seeking guys like that out and letting them do/say whatever they want to me. i just wish i could stop cause i’m so disgusting but i need it, i need them.
im just scared because i know one day i’ll end up meeting one of these men i encourage and i won’t be ready for what happens just like i wasn’t ready when it happened when i was a kid. only this time i’ll deserve it
i just need to know how to stop

I’ve been reading everyone’s incredibly moving posts over the last 2 months, thanking Rooster Teeth for the years of entertainment and for helping them find joy and belonging. After reading all these stories of how Rooster Teeth has changed your lives, I wanted to share mine.
Today is incredibly surreal. My last day at RT was this past weekend, but today our website shuts down- 21 years of content, of memories - going to that farm to play with all the other old content sites. At times it feels like I’ve spent my whole life being entrenched in RT, and at others it feels like 21 years flashed by me in the blink of an eye.
December 12, 2011 was my very first day at Rooster Teeth - just over 7 years after I joined the community website in October of 2004. I remember getting ready to go into the office on that first day… what should I wear? Are people going to be happy that I’m there? Will I be accepted? Do I even deserve to be here? Am I going to fuck this all up?
Jury’s still out on a lot of those questions, but it’s safe to say I definitely fucked up - a lot. I’ve done and said many things that I greatly regret. But like all of you reading this, I am not the same person I was over a decade ago. 5 years ago. 1 year ago. Yesterday. I am proud to have grown up, and to have become who I am with the help of this community.
There were a lot of low points over my time at RT. It’s not easy to put yourself out there in front of millions of people. On the Internet. There were many days I wanted to leave; where it just became too much for me to handle. But my colleagues and friends always had my back, and so did a lot of you. I will never forget those of you who supported us through our highest highs and lowest lows. My time at RT wasn’t always easy, but you all made it worth every second of it.
Saying goodbye to Rooster Teeth is something I knew, realistically, was inevitable – something I knew I would have to do eventually. It’s truly heartbreaking to be here writing this, experiencing it, realizing I never truly prepared myself for it. I know a lot of you feel the same way, and I’m sorry. It’s a very unique kind of grief.
Despite it all, the one feeling I’m left with as these days get further behind us is overwhelming gratitude. Gratitude for getting to make you all laugh (or groan, despite one’s enjoyment of puns); gratitude for the countless opportunities to learn new things, meet new people, and travel the world; and gratitude for getting to do this with the coolest fucking people on earth.
Today, RoosterTeeth.com closes its internet doors, leaving one final goodbye message. I am honored to have helped write that final message- I hope it stands as a reminder of the joy Rooster Teeth once brought you.
As we move into this next chapter of post-RT life, I hope you’ll still be looking out for what we all do next. We love what we do too much to let this stop us, and hope you’ll be there to support in whatever ways you can.
Good things come to an end, but what good is it if we don’t look back and see all the beauty and joy it brought us? If you take just one thing away from all of this, I hope it’s newfound gratitude for the good in your life, and recognizing it before it’s gone - because sometimes it might last 21 years, but feels like it’s gone in the blink of an eye.
Thank you for spending your years with us.
What a gift it was.
Barbara

my boss enlists me in hiding his multiple affairs from his wife
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, abuse of authority
Original Post Jan 30, 2017
My boss is having multiple affairs. I am his assistant, so I know about all his visitors and his schedule. He is married, but he often has visits from two different women, and he outright told me to never tell his wife about them. When either of them visit, he locks his door and tells me he is not to be disturbed. This happens almost weekly.
He sometimes asks me to book local hotel rooms for an hour or an afternoon, and he sometimes buys jewelry and flowers for the two women he sees regularly. I know this because he sends me out to pick up the jewelry (which I later see them wearing) or asks me to have the flowers sent to them. He never does anything like this for his wife. One of the women just had a baby who is named after my boss and has his surname.
One time, his wife showed up for a surprise visit to take him out to lunch, and he directed me to lie that the woman who was in his office was there for a job interview. He also submits expenses from his business trips (where he has traveled alone) and I have to re-calculate everything because he has upgraded the company-provided hotel room to a better one on his personal credit card and bought breakfast for more than one person the next morning. When this happens, he tells me he had “company.” There was also an incident where he came to work panicked because he said he accidentally used his company credit card at a strip club. He sent me to retrieve it and pay his tab with cash, but the address he sent me to was actually a massage parlor.
Normally I honestly don’t care what people do in their own private lives, but I hate that I’m part of his lies to his wife. She is a nice person and she is dealing with a heart condition that just required surgery. I know they don’t have an open relationship because my boss lies to her and also directs me to lie to her about his actions. He says she can never know. I get sick whenever I think about what he is doing. I know a way I can out him to his wife anonymously. Do you think I should let her know, or is this none of my business and I need to stay out of it?
Update March 9, 2017
Two days after you published my letter, my boss was served with divorce papers here at work. His wife publicly outed his affairs, and she sent copies of emails and text messages sent between him and the two women he was having affairs with, as well as one of the escorts he was seeing regularly, to some people here at our office (including me), his relatives, and some of their friends. She also sent these to the two women and the escort, and some of their relatives and colleagues at work. The texts and emails prove that all three of them not only knew he was married but that he was seeing other women besides each one of them. They also include his acknowledgement he fathered a child outside of his marriage and evidence he used funds from the joint account and his wife’s pay to spend money on them, as well as for the random women he cheated with when he was out of town on business.
His wife has filed alienation of affection lawsuits against the two women and the escort he was cheating with regularly. All of three of them kept calling and coming to see him here at work to confront him after they were outed to people and served with the lawsuit papers, and I heard them talking (sometimes yelling) about it each time and him saying his wife moved out the day he was served with divorce papers and he has no way to contact except through her lawyer (hey have no children and apparently she has cut all contact).
I played dumb the entire time and no one, including his wife, has accused me of knowing anything or asked me if I did.
Before all of this happened, after reading your response and the responses in the comments, I decided to seriously start looking for another job. The same week my letter was published, there was an opening inside my company for a receptionist in a different division. The company usually posts jobs internally before they look externally, and since I’m classified as admin and the posting is for an administrative position, I didn’t have to apply and could just put in for a transfer.
They gave it to me, and I have been in my new job for two weeks now. I love it so far. I spend all day on the phone with people or talking with people who have come in to see or meet with my colleagues. The division has over 100 people, so while I have a screen where I can search for people by name and receive memos and things through email, I don’t have a computer that I am stuck staring at for hours a day. It’s definitely not for everyone but I love dealing with people all day and having no other responsibilities or a mountain of tasks or paperwork to do. My new colleagues have been welcoming and while everyone is talking about what is going on with my boss, no one has brought me into the drama and it only gets talked about around me the same as it would any other person. I don’t engage in any gossip and I certainly don’t talk about what I know, even though no one has asked.
I now have set hours, don’t ever have to work outside of those hours (no overtime or weekends or holidays) and no company cell phone. Since all my work involves dealing with people during working hours at work, I couldn’t do work at home even if I wanted to. Work is now separate from home, and overall I am much more relaxed because I have a clear line between working and not working and I don’t have to deal with my boss and his drama any more.
Thank you for your response to my question and to all the people who were supportive in the comments. I felt better knowing my feelings were valid and I wasn’t overreacting or wrong to be upset.
(Also there was some speculation in the comments about whether my boss could be engaging in some kind of embezzlement or falsifying because he had me separating expenses. There was nothing like that going on. The company has a policy where they will reimburse business expenses put on personal debit or credit cards. Non-work expenses are not allowed to be on company cards. So if the company paid for a hotel room when my boss traveled on business and he upgraded to a better room, the company would only reimburse or pay the original room price and he would have to pay for the rest of the upgrade. I would separate personal and work expenses before submitting them. This is in line with the company handbook and everyone always does it this way. There were no issues with him or me because of it. As for him using the company credit card at the massage parlor, they are legal where we are and since he had the charges reversed the same day and submitted proof of the reversal, the company never had an issue because he followed policy and hadn’t used the card for anything illegal.)
Final Update Oct 20, 2017
My former boss was fired. His wife outed a fourth woman for sleeping with him, same as the others. She works here. Having an affair with a subordinate and the multiple yelling matches with the other three women here at the office was enough to get him fired. The fourth woman was married (unlike the other three) and her husband filed for divorce after she was outed. She took job somewhere else but left amicably and was not fired like my former boss was. At least two of the women his wife was suing are settling with her to avoid it going to trial. The yelling matches he was having made it clear she wasn’t using the lawsuits as a bargaining chip and would not drop them in exchange for stuff from him.
Now that both he and the woman from here that he was having an affair with are gone, things have calmed down. No one has mentioned the affair in weeks and everything here is boring again. I don’t mind the lack of gossip and am still enjoying my new job and great colleagues. I got a small bonus at my yearly review because my boss was so happy with my work. I love my new colleagues and they have been nothing but welcoming to me.
(Also there was speculation in the comments in my first update about whether his wife outed the escort for her affair or being an escort. The answer is both. I don’t agree with her actions but I empathize with how much pain the affairs have caused her.)
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Okay, so we are going to be publishing an annual anthology in a limited edition of 500 hardcover copies, with the stories, poems and other art/writing to be taken from several different communities and from different prompted opportunities, one of which will be the monthly contest winners from our brand new contest!
There will be plenty of details leading up to the first of many different ways to get into that publication, and check back to find out the process, deadlines, rewards, and how you are going to become a published writer sooner than you thought!
There will be two groups that can enter, and there are rewards that include:

• social media badges

-special recognition on our website, subreddit flair, and a featured interview in our email newsletter, as well as other promotion that gives attention to your work.
-certificate of recognition
-cash prize(from $25-$500!)
-swag(t-shirt, button, stickers and other cool stuff)
-the other cool stuff to be announced soon!
We will select a short story, a poem/Prose/lyrics piece, and a piece of artwork every month. These will be from two groups - ages 6-17 and ages 18+. They will be published online and in the annual anthology, which will be released in January of 2025 .
We will also have an annual contest that selects the cover art from the previous 24 winners from the twelve months prior to it's publication, as well as a Novel/Novel in Progress that will be considered for publication as well as win a $500 cash prize.
The monthly contest will reward each winning entery with $25 for the 6-17 year old age group and $100 for the 18+ age group.
Guidelines, deadlines, and how to enter free of charge will be announced shortly. This is a collaborative effort between this subreddit, ECES, LLC, and Gurl Think Tank. We are working with other potential sponsors at this time and we will provide as much information as possible prior to opening the submission portal.
You don't have to be a member of this subreddit, but it will be helpful should you desire the feedback and the most up to date information on this and other contests that we plan to offer.
This is not a drill! Stay tuned for the first monthly contest and get to work on something that you think will be a winner 🏆!!!

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA29329323
Me 25M grew up with parents 48F and 52M who had an open marriage it sort of messed me up and my parents wants to know why I had not spoken to them in almost four years.
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Previous BoRU posted by u/-bonita_applebum**
TRIGGER WARNING: depression, child neglect, mentions of bullying
While this was posted before, it has never been posted with the final update
Original Post July 31, 2021
I found out when I was around 12 that my parents liked to play around if you can call it that I did not get until I was around 14 what that really meant.
Anyways I kept my mouth shut and focused on myself and moved out when I was 18 and we have barely spoken since.
I ended up becoming very insecure I struggeled when it came to dating and girls and was alone for most of my teens, mom and dad was this perfect couple that was well liked by everyone.
All I can remember is how alone I felt during that time and was too afraid to speak to my parents about how I had it, they were always smiling and seemed to have the perfect marriage while they saw other people while I felt alone and miserable.
They used to go on weekend trips and was alone for many weekends and they rarely brought me along for vacations and I ended up being on my own when they did as well.
I struggle with depression and started seeing a therapist and are on antidepresseants right now, I just felt like I did not matter to my parents at all and see no real reason for why I should talk to them now.
I have not celebrated christmas with them or not been at home since I was 19 because I honestly have nothing but bad memories from living with them I just felt like I was in the way.
Not sure what I should do here my emotions are all over the place I don't think they know I struggle with depression.
Update Aug 4, 2021
I tried posting this earlier but yeah some other things have also happened so wanted to add that as well.
I dedided to write a letter but ended with me using that letter as reference to what I wanted to say to them instead.
I wrote the letter and actually just planned to drop in in their mailbox and just let them read it.
But honestly after so many years I needed to have the conversation with them so I did.
​
So I went home and surprise surprise dad and mom had a friend over, the woman who I ran into a few days ago let's call her Claire.
They were just sitting in the living room just talking I asked Claire politely to leave because I need to speak to my parents she said sure and she left, my parents understood I had something discuss and they did not argue.
​
Apperantly they were talking about me and Claire actually came over because she was worried about me after I basiclly ignored her the other day when I ran into her.
​
I sat down with my parents had the letter I had written and they understood I had a lot to say.
​
The whole thing was weird I sounded like a prosecutor trying to convince a jury of all my parents wrongdoings, it ended up being 40 minute indictment of my parents.
​
I went through all of it how alone I felt, me struggeling with depression, me seeing a therapist, on anti depresseants, me feeling since I was 11 that was always in the way, that I never mattered to them and that other people were always more important.
​
How Claire who was 25 the same age I am now when she started hanging around with you actually gave more of a damn than you did.
How you (dad) yelled at me when I messed up the settings on the dishwasher while you were away, I was 11 and did not know how it worked and that I offered to wash them by hand which I did.
​
I was bullied in school and was socially ackward, had no friends and was always alone both at school and at home.
​
I was 11 and had to deal with being alone on the weekends even christmas was weird and ackward I remember seeing families light christmas trees in our street seeing parents and their kids.
But you guys went to your christmas get togethers and only on christmas day were you home and I honestly felt alone then as well.
​
I have no such memories or felt any belonging whatsoever and now you keep asking me why I have barely spoken to you for four years ?
​
I don't know you and you never bothered to get to know me, other people were always more important.
​
When I found out and understood what you guys were into, I was even more mad why was that more important than me ??
​
How is it fair that you are happy and I am alone and miserable, it's not fair because you did this to me.
​
I have spent my childhood alone, my teens alone and now my twenties alone so far I never had a girlfriend because I struggle to trust people and have no idea how to get close to people.
​
You shared a picture of me on FB one of the few of us together from when I was a kid, saw Claire and your other GF comment on it how cute I was and what a great family we were.
Notice anything on those pictures ? I never smiled.
​
Why did you even have me to begin with clearly I was just a prop for you to show off to let others know what great parents you were, your FB profiles makes me sick to honest.
​
Dad wanted to say something and mom just looked stunned and she had tears, I just got up and left and that was that.
​
I never yelled or called them any names I was surprisingly calm I honestly felt numb walking out but also a lot lighter.
I left my sparekey to their place and just walked back to my place.
Mom has been texting and tried callin me I think they are both struggeling on what to say to me, I just demanded they remove the pictures of me from their FB which they did.
They do not get to pretend to the world like they were great parents anymore I refuse to be a prop.
So that's the update still gonna continue with my therapists or may need to find a new one.

NEW UPDATE

Update 2 - rareddit Oct 11, 2021
Just wanted to give an update and thank you for all the comments, I decided to switch therapists and the new one is better than my old one.
Still dealing with anxiety and feel very lonely sometimes, but trying to get through the day.
Had a long talk with mom who actually decided to stop by my place, she and I talked for almost three hours.
I decided not to berate her and instead just being honest and explain how my life has been and how I am dealing with a bunch of things.
It was as honest as it could get with me basiclly just sharing how I was doing, mom did not realize how bad it was and she just gave me a hug I don't know why but that helped, she was not sure what to say about everything and I don't really blame her.
She said come home for awhile especially at christmas you don't have to sit in your apartment alone, told her I would think about it.
Mom looks like she finally realized that I had been in pain for quite some time and her recognizing that is I guess what I really wanted like she finally got it.
So yeah progress I guess still not sure what the future holds, still feel very apathethic and my anxiety can get the best of me sometimes and have had days I feel very low like nothing matters anymore.
But I guess it's a step in the right direction
​THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA999333
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: child abandonment, emotional manipulation, possible exploitation
Original Post: May 6, 2024
I ruined the memory of the best day of my life because I was too blind to see what I was doing was hurting one of the most important people in my life. I got married 2 months ago to the love of my life, and he finally opened my eyes to what I did. He showed me the perspective I didnt understand.
When I was 5 my father left us. Just disappeared without trace. He and my mom were already separated by that point, but he was still living with us. 3 years later my mom started dating Rob. He was quite a bit younger than she was, I belive she was 34 and he was 26. Today he is very wealthy (he wasnt when he met my mom) and he treats my mother like a queen. Whenever she is around him she looks like the happiest person in the world. My younger sister looks a lot like me and mom, but her personality is for sure a reflexion of her dad, always telling jokes and being just a nice person all around while me and my mom are more serious and cold.
As I got older, Rob became more present in my life he got married to my mom and she got pregnant. But it was still pretty weird seeing him as a father figure mostly because people would asume he was my brother all the time. When I was in HS, I was dating this boy, and he broke up with me at my friends house. My mom was on a night shift and I had to ask Rob to pick me up. When he did, he conforted me, took me to get ice cream, and when we got home he told me something like this (without knowing what happened) "whoever made you sad doesnt understand that you are the best girl in the world, and its their loss. Dont beat yourself up because other people are too stupid to see it"
I just said to him "I wish you were my dad". He smiled and said that he wished that too, and he could be if I wanted to. We left it at that. I never called him dad. But from that point foward I saw him as a father and I think he knows it.
I finally reconected to my biological father about an year ago. It happened because I got engaged. When I came to my mom's house one day, he was there and I couldnt even recongnise him. He was way thiner than he was when I was a kid. He struggled for years with depression and substance abuse. My mom and Rob actually helped him get clean and they even paid for his stay at a great reabilitation center. They decided together that it was time for me to finally meet him again.
I dont want to explore much on how this was, but all I have to say is that im glad to have him back in my life and im glad for being able to help him heal. He sufered a lot, he got lost. But now he is at least trying.
Rob and my mother payed for everything at my wedding, and everything was amaizing. The church was beautiful, my husband looked amaizing. The one mistake I made: I chose my biological father over Rob. I chose the man that did abandon me for over 20 years over the one the took me as his own and gave me everything he could when he didnt have to. I chose the man that broke my mothers heart over the one that saved her. I dont know why I did what I did. Looking back on it I feel so fucking stupid. My dad didnt deserve to walk me down the aisle. My dad dint deserve to be in all the pictures with my mom and my husbands parents. It should have been Rob.
I dont know, I think I was compensating for the time lost with my dad. Everything was still so fresh with him. I was helping him out, he talked to me everyday, I felt like he deserved to be back in my life.
When we were deciding who would give speeches, we had to cut some because it was just too many and me and my husband didnt really like the idea of hearing speeches for and hour and a half. So we decided for 5 people each. When I gave the list to my husband he even asked "no Rob?" And I said "yeah, my mom is already doing one". The others I chose were 2 of my bridesmaids, my mom, my sister (she really pushed for it) and, again, my dad. My husband said I should reconsider, He even thought of giving up one of his to put Rob in. I said it was fine, he didnt need to do that. My whole thinking when doing this was that Rob has my sister. He will have his moment. This was the only chance my dad had.
But I went too far. I completly cut him out of the party basically. If you look at the photos it doesnt even look like he went. My mom looks like she is faking a smile in half the pictures. I dont have a single picture with him. He only apears in group pictures, and some with my husband.
I only realised all of this when I texted Rob 2 days ago, asking him about a gift im giving my husbands for his birthday. He anwsered. Then asked about my car that is with a mecanic friend of his. He awnsered. Then I asked him something about my insurance. He did not anwser. A little over an hour later my mom called me. She just said "do you have no shame? Do you not understand what you did?" I just listend and she told me not to talk to Rob for now. I was just so fucking confused. I got home and told my husband and he just said that he knows what she is referencing but he will talk to her first.
Later, he showed me the wedding photos, he went step by step on everything I have listed here. He talked calmly, and broke it down for me. By the end I was crying so much that I had a headache. What an inconsiderate idiot I am. He told me that he and my mom didnt tell me anything before the party because Rob asked them not to. He understood that it was important for me for my father to be a big part of this day and when they protested he said that they should not make me worry about these small things.
I dont know what changed from before the party to now. My mom only tells me that he needs a bit of time and that he will talk to me soon. My husband keeps telling me that I made a mistake but Rob will be understanding and will forgive me. And I know that he will. He 100% has already forgiven me. He probably felt something when I was texting him that day that broke him down. I dont know what I said to trigger him at that moment, but also it doesnt really matter. I did the real damage at the party probably since he apeared to be fine with everything else before it (It was not fine by any means)
I have to make it up to him. I dont know how but I just do. I guess im just writing this here because im a little lost. Im too ashamed to talk about it with anyone else I know apart from my mom and husband. She doesnt tell me anything and my husband keeps insiting that everything will be fine and for me not to worry too much about it. And he is probably right but I feel like me not worrying about this is just being incosiderate to Rob again. I have to worry. I just dont know what to do.
Im now at work, and the only thing I can think about is this. Nothing else matters to me right now.
If someone has any kind of idea of how I can make it up to him I would greatly appreciate it.
Edit: Literally 40 minutes after I uploaded this, my mom texted me saying that Rob wants to speak to me tonight.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the situation of her insurance and Rob

OOP: Actually, Rob does not pay for my insurance. He only helped me set it up. And this is not about money at all, I make more than enough money and my husband is also very well off. Rob and my mom paid for the wedding because they wanted to. They told me it would be their gift for me and they gave me the money to use it on the wedding. My husbands family gave us a sum to help pay for our new house.
But your comment made me realise that this might be the problem, he might think im using him for money. That just breaks my heart. I do not want his money. I would happly take myself out of the my mom's will and his (if he has me in it, which he probably does), if it means I can fix this.
Also, he was not rich at all when he met my mom. He became successful after their marriage. Just to clarify.

OOP on why she didn’t plan the wedding photos ahead of time

OOP: My plan was that I wanted spontanious pictures and the photographer had to be changed last minute. In my head it worked out fine, what I wanted was to have the "important" pictures taken early, bridesmades, groomsman and family and later on have just spontanious pictures.
It was something I was too stuck on, this notion of "wasting time" doing pictures, speaches, etc.
But that was such dumb thinking. Thats what wedding are for.
At the end of the day though, everything went great apart from this disastrous oversight of mine.

Top Comments
RevolutionaryHat8988: I want to hug Rob. We all need a Rob in our lives.
Deleted Commenter: You’re almost 30 and needed all of this pointed out to you?
You made multiple conscious choices to exclude Rob from your wedding and only cared after you brought up an issue with your insurance: another thing he helped to pay for.
At your age you should know that choices have consequences.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do to make up for the choices you made.
 
Update May 9, 2024
First, I want to say some things before posting:

1. No, I am not Linda, my biological father isnt dying. Got a DM in here asking.
   
2. My sister is mostly just sad, not really mad at me. Just said she understood my situation but it still was really shitty seeing her father taken for granted and sad.
   
3. My mother is the person most pissed off at me at the moment. She is the only one that still does not talk to me. I mean she does, but not really.
   
4. For the people saying my husband and mother were idiots for not talking to me before: they agree and have told me this. My husband specially. Im not trying to shift blame here, just saying this for the people that talked about it
   

I was not going to post anything else on here. Not a fan of being called names and for people to keep saying that Rob should leave our family. Although Im well aware that I deserve most of everything that was said about me. The coments saying "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree" in regaards to me and my biological father were the ones that hurt the most as it is a fear of mine and the reason I dont drink much and dont use any drugs or anything that could be addictive. But seing how there are other things that could make us more similar than I realised is really frightening.
The day I posted here, my mom told me Rob wanted to speak to me and to go to their home after work. I went and waited for Rob to arrive. When he did my mom left us alone and he started off by saying that he was hurt by what I did at the wedding, that he knows he is not my father and that he would never try to force that on me, but that he at least thought he had some sort of importance in my life and seeing me just not give him any importance apart from talking to him when I need help with something made him realise that I do not view him the he thought I did.
At this point I was already crying so much that I couldnt even talk. I waited for him to finish and when he did I just told basically what you all saw in the post. That I fucked up bad, that I was incosiderate, that he is one of the most importante people in my life and that what I did was unforgivable.
The only reason I am posting it here is because of something during the conversation. He said something about my time at college and I went "but that was because..." and stoped. He asked me "what? because of what" I just said "nothing, you are right, that was my fault and I should have done better".
He was pretty angry at that point and he started to smile and we talked about me taking responsibility for my actions. Its something I am terrible at, it was an issue at my old job and since then I have been trying to be better at it but not very successfuly. He asked what changed and I told him about the post. Multiple people in the comments said that I dont take responsibility and yes, they read right through me. I showed it to him and reading the post calmed him down.
And no, he did not read the comments, just the ones I showed it to him, I would not let him see what some of you were saying about my mom.
So yes, he told me if I was going to say something else to thank you people for calling me out for not taking responsibility.
We talked about a lot of other things not related to the wedding. At the end I just told him that there were 2 things I wanted to say for him to take away from this conversation: I really did mean it when I was in HS and said that I wished he was my dad. Even now, with my biological dad in my life. I still feel that way. And the second thing is that I know that it will be hard for him to belive it right now because of what happened, but I will try to prove it to him for as long as it takes.
For those interested, I`ve been going to a therapist with my biological father once every 2 weeks since he came back, but I think I need one for myself so I will try to make it happen soon.
I want to thank 3 particular commenters that helped me.

1. The person that told me to take it slow with Rob and dmed me to stop looking at the thread cause I was spiraling.
   
2. The one that said: "People fuck up. Sometimes badly. But in a loving and caring family it's never the end of things as long as you are willing to own your mistakes."
   
3. And most importantly the best comment that was fair and gave me the right advice: "You are a spoilt, selfish, childish person. I don’t know that rob will forgive you but you can’t simply wait to see if he does. Write him a letter in which you fully own up to your awful behaviour. Do not say “I wish someone had stopped me” - that isn’t taking accountability for the way you treat people. With him and your mom paying for your wedding and your in laws paying for your house - you need to grow up and reflect very seriously on how you interact with everyone around you."
   

I guess the post served as the letter in the scenario, thank you, that was the slap in the face I needed to realise that I need to do a lot of work to improve myself and that the wedding was not its own thing, it was a reflection of who I am right now and I dont like what I see when I look in the mirror. Also, Rob more or less told me something similar, just not as a agressive, so this comment made me take his words as not him atacking me, but trying to help me understand my flaws.
Im not sure how I will make up for this. Rob is telling me that over time, just me being how I was before my biological father showed up will be enough for him. I dont doubt him but its not enough for me. I will live with what I did for the rest of my life. I will always remember.
The way I am now I actually need people to call me out for this kinds of things and its not fair to them. I will work on it, I have to. I will try my hardest to not ever hurt anyone I love this way again. Thankfully now I have someone in my husband to help me do that and call me out if needed. Thank you.
 

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