Good marrow, bonelickers!
Early last month I announced the 19th Speedlang Challenge. I broke the mould with it a little bit by confining how the ambitious among you would actually put together your speedlangs rather than defining a number of requisite features. The bulk of this process had speedlangers root all their creative linguistic decisions in a small set of natlangs, and these natlangs specifically had to be native to areas representative of a chosen clade of organisms. To ensure the clade of organisms was well represented, I also asked for a number of lexical items and conceptual metaphors that had to be specifically inspired by the clade in some way, as well as some aspect of the phonology.
Like last time, I'll provide my thoughts about what I think makes each submission special and the features I particularly like. Afterwards, I'll quickly review what was inspired by the chosen clade, in case that has any bearing on what you kind readers might like to check out, and give out brownie points for any easter eggs I spot, whether intended or not.
Overall this has been a deeply creative round of submissions and I learned a lot, both things I set out to achieve when I thought up this particular challenge. I hope it was just as rewarding a challenge for everyone who submitted as it was for me getting to read up on each entry, and I hope it will be the same for anyone who reads up on them, too.
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Seba Bàsa by Miacomet

Gyps (griffon vultures); Chamic, Bengali, Santali & Mundari
With a name including the element Bàsa, I knew this had to have Indic flavours of one sort of another, and indeed it does! This conlang is largely Austronesian in origin with sound changes from Old Cham, but it has a lot of Bengali influence and is well situated in the Indian subcontinent, and I greatly appreciate the nod to Parsi funerary traditions as an inspiring reason for choosing Gyps. Amusingly, this conlang has many features that fit right into the inspiration for the last speedlang challenge, which I find just delightful, with some split-S marking, dative enclitics, and grammaticalised constructions for simultaneous and sequential events, and light pronouns. Therebeside, the historical clipping, CVK syllable structure, postpositional pronouns, and aspectual auxiliaries speak to sensibilities in my own conlanging, and the dissimilation processes in some of the affixes are a nice touch, too. I'm also a big of fan just how the split-S system is implicated in some verbal polysemy, and I really like how the few voices seem kinda muddy but have clear use cases. What really sets this conlang apart, though, is the consideration paid to the effect of prestige languages. Some phonemes are restricted to loanwords from the local prestige language, and one is even only confined to prestige language-educated speakers, which causes some allophony other speakers don't have. Loaning processes are detailed, too, and the number and classifier system also draws nice lines along the prestige axis with a total of 3 parallel number systems, spread out across both divisions of native vs. loaned classifiers, which themselves have specific semantic domains they each classify, and across divisions of prestige language education. The story at the end, too, is a real treat: it's a translation of Hindu vulture myth, perfect for this project.
Seba Bàsa's Gyps-inspired phonology includes the development of creaky voice from the loss of glottals, glottalised consonants, and final /s/ in Old Cham to recall vulture cries. It's inspired lexicon includes some fun polysemy of vulture behaviours like circling = waiting or sheepling = looking for something desirable. I'm also a big fan of kite (the bird) = messy eater. It's inspired conceptual metaphors include dividing the beginning, middle, and end of a process into eating skin, meat, and bones, respectively, and equating head height/position with one's health or comfortableness as inspired by how vultures droop their heads when ill.
We're starting off string with double brownie points for meeting both the space epic easter egg by calquing the Ewokese word for 'outsider' and the empress easter egg by referring to Buddha's Birthday!
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Kogëdek by u/Porpoise_God

Setonix & Macropodidae more generally (quokkas + kangaroos & wallabies); Noongar, Pitjantjatjara, Wajarri, Guugu Yimithirr, Miriwoong, Guniyandi, Dyirbal, Mbabaram
Aside from the one splant you'll soon see, I think this entry gets the prize for the most unique chosen clade by being A) not a bird, and B) not an ungulate. As great as birds are, quokkas are pretty amazing, too. I'm not too familiar with Pama-Nyungan languages but this did a good job of affecting some of the features I've come to know them for, including but not limited to the phonological natural classes of peripheral vs. coronal, coverb constructions, and the word for 'dog' bearing a striking similarity to English. Split-ergativity features across the noun-pronoun axis, and there's a unique set of duals that specifically refer to sibling, parent-child, or spousal pairs of individuals that I might have to steal for myself. The case marking includes a lative case I haven't seen before, and implicates the comitative in a neat way in comparative constructions. I also appreciate the what-looks-to-be resumptive subject pronominal proclitics; very speedlang 18, and a great example of a fossilised mistake, which I always love to see! The verbs also feature multiple conjugations, and the imperative is implicated for its tenselessness in certain subclause constructions, which has a certain type of quirkiness I'd expect out of some past speedlang challenges.
Kogëdek's Setonix-inspired phonology included a /ç/ in the proto-lang, which bears some resemblance to quokka calls, although it was lost to /s/ and /x/ in the modern language. The inspired lexical entries include roots for different kinds of macropods and styles of jumping, and conflates jumping with breathing. Some of the idioms include "pouch-baby" for pejorative "mama's-boy" and using kangaroo badassery as a metaphor for all sorts of less than ideal situations.
Brownie points for a particularly insidious word-form for 'father'.
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Yatakang by Lichen

Bubalus (water buffaloes); Hindi-Urdu, Thai, Vietnamese, Khmer, Burmese, Malay
This one's a little rough around the edges, but it's a good foundation for a nice mix of both SEA features, like the isolating morphosyntax, and unique features, like the class agreement system. It's also got clicks limited to avoidance speech! Diachronics from a proto-lang where considered, and I really like how the typologies of the inspo langs were used as targets for the sound changes. I'll have to keep this workflow in mind! Some of the sound changes include expanding the number of stop contrasts to match the average number of contrasts, or eroding the number of vowels to match that of Malay. Phonotactics were carefully considered with full structures for both mono- and disyllables as well as bare roots vs. compound stems. Grammatically, morphology is mostly limited to a host of different reduplication patterns, which in itself is something I'd really like to see more of! Where this really shines, though, is with its agreement system: nouns are sorted into a 3x2 matrix of 6 classes, portmanteau agreement particles mark for the class of both the subject and the object, the system implicates the social hierarchies common to many SEA languages, and the position of the particle marks modality. Incredibly inspired to pack all that into a set of maybe 36 particles, if you ask me, never mind how it helps to disambiguate fluid word class and how it might be implicated in future plans for Indonesian object-oriented verbs. I'm also a fan of how the temporal question verb patterns like an agreement particle to mark for tense by co-opting the modality marking. We also get some prosody-syntax interfacing with different pitch contours at clause boundaries operating as different sorts of conjunctions.
Yatakang's Bubalus-inspired phonology includes a combination of creaky voice and syllabic nasals to affect a mooing phonaesthetic. The lexical entries exhibit some nice semantic drift from water buffalo activities and behaviours towards more human behaviours, and the planned phrase of hat-hand stroke fur for "suddenly realise a problem, and then pretend there isn't one" just feels exactly like an observation a water buffalo would make observing its human, which I really like. The inspired metaphors are also simple and straightforward, likening roundedness to goodness or knowledge to food, which makes for some brilliantly idiomatic language like "I ate the book" to mean "I read and understood the contents of the book."
Extra brownie points for including both halves of the space epic easter egg to placate both sides of nerddom; the term 'tax-man' is everything it ought to be.
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Kurikiri by Jjommoma

Casuariiformes (cassowaries and emus); Dhuwal, Motu, Tok Pisin
Compared to most other entries, this one's very short and sweet with some Australian sounds and some head-final Papuan grammar (however loose a description that is). That being said, Kurikiri is very inventive in being partially signed with much of its grammatical marking encoded by actions done with the foot, including number, case, definiteness, and some basic TAM.
Aside from the cassowary foot action grammar markers, as well as some lexical entries there-related, Kurikiri also equates flightedness to being ostentatious, disdaining flighted birds out of envy, which I think is a fun thought process for these terrestrially confined birds. There's also some neat phonosemantics in the taboo word for predator being especially difficult to pronounce.
This wasn't the intent, but I'm giving some space epic brownie points for the foot grammar if for nothing else than that it reminds me of Paul Frommer's Thark from John Carter and its telepathic grammatical and verbal lexical expression.
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Whaynisiday by u/Fimii

Spheniscidae (penguins); Māori, Xhosa, Quechua
What do you do when the entire population of penguins achieves human-like levels of intelligence after some gene splicing and they start calling for a language to call their own? Why, you do exactly what the prompt of this challenge asks for and combine the languages native to the homeland of the blue, african, and humboldt penguins! The write up for this conlang does a great job of pointing out what features are from which language exactly, and plays a fun balancing game between some of the phonological and grammatical extremes in its sourcelangs. In so doing it has a few quirks that really tickle the intersection of my linguist and conlanger venn diagram, specifically the presence of what I'd have to interpret as onset morae, as well as semantic noun class marked solely through agreement (which is very Varamm, so I'm not at all biased towards it). There's a handful of fun, rare cases, and the simulative mood fits right into the inspirations for the last challenge to create some vaguely Tupian simultaneous actions. There's a bunch more little grammatical bits that are fun, but impressionistically I appreciate how the more isolating grammar of Māori was incorporated into the synthetic common ground of the other 2 sourcelangs.
Whaynisiday's Spheniscidae-inspired phonology includes a couple syringeal sounds to complement the otherwise human capable inventory. The highlighted lexical entries pay special attention to how penguins locomote with basic stems for different kinds of movement options both on land and in the water, as well as a split in breathing for whether its on land at rest or in the water being active. The conceptual metaphors include a great model of time with the past on land and the future in the inky depths, and the very adorable notion that safety = community, and so naturally a farewell would be a wish of friendship.
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Poro by The Inky Baroness

Rangifer tarandus subsp. (domestic reindeers); Proto-Samic, Komi-Zyrian, Tundra Nenets, Chukchi
Where do I even begin with this one? I was excited to read this one when I first received it, but it was even better than I could have hoped when I got round to reading it! Although, not for any linguistic reasons: the first half of the doc reminds me of Gillian Teft's Anthro-Vision as an anthropological account of reindeers written by a fictitious Finnish researcher rather than any sort of sketched reference grammar, which I love dearly. The latter half, meanwhile, goes into great detail about what went into the first half, including all sorts of motivations or reasons for the decisions made. Some diachrony is detailed, as well as the effects of language contact rooted in actual historical events relevant to the chosen sourcelangs, which is just great to see. I loved the ways in which each of the different sourcelangs were all represented in the final product with it being Samic in origin but including some phonological and grammatical borrowings from Komi and Nenets like the lack of consonant gradation, the verb-final syntax, some vowel changes, and a fantastic predestinative affix that interacts with the conceptualisation of time in some neat ways. All the while, care was taken to do a wealth of research at every step in the process with a fairly extensive bibliography. Hoof clicks all around for this one!
Poro's Rangifer-inspired phonology includes a deer bellow as some sort of epiglottal obstruent that actually patterns with the Nenets glottal stop, as well as some other approximated reindeer vocalisations including what I presume to be grunts or chuffs, both oral and nasal. Care was also taken to think about what a fully reindeerised descendant of Proto-Samic would look like as accords with the included etiological myth for reindeers and reindeer husbandry, but this was well beyond the scope of a speedlang. The lexical entries include all sorts of terms for reindeer physiology, including but not limited to antler velvet, different types of vocalisations, and hoof clicks. These lexical entries feature in some wonderful idioms using antlers to describe social hierarchy, useful- or uselessness, and glibness or malicious intent, as well as an equivalent to "when pigs fly": "to catch a bird between one's hooves."
Extra brownie points both for the nominal hierarchical exaltation of mothers baked into reindeer culture and inclusion of an anti-imperialist message in promoting the research of the under-represented and often stigmatised language and culture of traditionally reindeer herding peoples. Also do keep an eye out for Dr. Dolittle easter eggs: Inky will reward you handsomely if you can spot one!
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Kiwi by NerpNerp

Apteryx & Novaeratitae more broadly (kiwis + cassowaries & emus); English, Māori, Traditional Tiwi, Miriwoong, Bardi
Given the number of bird entries with Indo-Pacific flavours, I'm almost half surprised this was the only kiwi entry: they're such good birbs! As might be expected, this conlang endeared itself to me just as its namesake does. The phonology has all sorts of trills and rhotics, and limits itself to high vowels; it's also got some neat phrase level prosody to mark different sorts of modal information and focus, even including an intrusive glottal stop at the sentence level. Noun incorporation is varied and detailed, and can create some polysynthetic constructions as a consequence of just how exactly the rest of the otherwise fairly analytic morphosyntax works. I'm a particular fan of the deictic categories including 7 different degrees of deixis characterising both distance and motion, and I'm also a fan of of the grammaticalised time of day. Heximal numbers and coverb constructions also feature. There's even a kiwi-capable featural alphabet that each of the examples show off!
Kiwi's Apteryx-inspired phonology includes the trills and high vowels being inspired by kiwi calls and I imagine a little of their anatomy with those long, thin bills. The inspired lexemes include specific types of smells humans can't detect at the expense of any colour terms, reflecting kiwis nocturnal, smell-based lifestyles. The idioms for "a long time ago" or "once upon a time" is absolutely delightful--"when kiwis flew"--and the grammaticalised time of day subdivides the night but not the day, as might be expected from a nocturnal beastie.
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Asamiin by Christian Evans

Asamina (pawpaws); Ottawa, Unami, Tuscarora, Mikasuki, Chitimacha, Timucua
The speech that nourishes! And a splant, too, no less; I was hoping for at least one of these! This one's made all the better by delving into some Eastern North American languages and I really like the flavours this lends itself to. Syncope is abound with all sorts of morphological obfuscation through detailed phonological processes, and animacy plays a key role in the verb complex. Care was also taken to find a phonological common ground between all the sourcelangs, which made for a really interesting set of vowels with a basic 6 vowel inventory, but with 2 nasal vowels that can surface as vocalic allophones to the nasal consonants. The grammar is fairly straightforward but has a few quirks that I really appreciate, including but not limited to the fluid O placement to make for some syntactic focusing strategies I so adore and the optional, enclitic case marking narrowed by various postpositions used as another, separate means of focus. Overall just really well laid out and the formatting is really cute, something I've now come to expect after Yumpịku last time.
Asamiin's Asamina-inspired phonology includes a pharyngeal approximant to recall the really long taproot pawpaws grow, as well as regressive sibilant harmony to recall the mimicry the flowers employ to attract pollinators, both of which are some really inspired departures from the sourcelangs.
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Ekaangäq by Atyx

Haliaeetus pelagicus (Steller's sea eagle); Chukchi, Alyutor, Koryak, Itelmen, Ainu, Nivkh, Evenki, Uilta
A bird that escapes any Indo-Pacific flavours? Well I'll be! Instead of South Pacific this one gives all sorts of North Pacific energy being spoken by a population of eaglefolk native to the Sea of Okhotsk and representative of the languages spoken along its coasts. The Ainu flavours are especially strong with both an Ainu-based consonant inventory and a kana orthography, among others. The vowels also show some interesting lopsidedness with 2 creaky vowels complementing an otherwise fairly straightforward 6 vowel system that feature in a front-back vowel harmony system, though I'm a real fan of the sandhi rules at word boundaries that cause all sorts of fun consonant alternations. Word stress is also detailed and has funky placement rules at odds with my understanding of theoretical prosodic processes! Grammatically there's a few quirks that really stand out to me and tickle my curiosity: a dual distinction on the nouns but not in the pronouns, and polypersonal agreement in a transitive alignment system, the only departure from direct, accusative, and/or ergative alignment in this round of submissions. I also appreciate some of the syncretism in the pronouns!
Ekkangäq's Haliaeetus-inspired phonology includes entirely unrounded vowels and a lack of any labial consonants to reflect the speakers have beaks, as well as the 2 creaky vowels as rooted in their physiology, a common theme for this challenge. The lexicon includes some distinctions between diving and eating as it applies to different kinds of prey. The conceptual metaphor, though, I think is really great equating the passage of time with ice: an iceberg calving off a glacier is birth, melting is ageing, and melting all away is dying. Great stuff!
I think I actually have to give negative brownie points for this one: as much as I appreciate 3 separate orthographies (Kana, Cyrillic, Latin) for some historicity, they are all at odds with the anti-imperialism the brownie criterion requires, and there's no girl power to balance it out.
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Taqồpaq by accruenewblue

Gallus (jungefowl); Hindi-Urdu, Burmese, Thai, Punjabi, Tamil, Indonesian
I'm a little surprised this is, I think, the only truly tonal submission despite all the SEA birds, and it's less synthetic than most in this round of submissions. In either case, this one does a great job of illustrating some tonogenesis and some recent and still very transparent synthetic developments from a formerly isolating language. The tones are simple registers, but they interact with morae in some neat rightwards reassigning sandhi patterns, and they complement a system of 12 vowels in a 3x2x2 matrix of height, frontedness, and roundedness. There's even some vocalic nasal allophones (which is twice now in this round of submissions), and labial consonant-vowel harmony to boot! Grammatically I greatly appreciate all the call-outs for similarities to natural languages, and I wanna shout-out the use of a positive tag question instead of negative. The numbers have this funky sexagesimal base with an octal sub-base and remnants of an old decimal sub-base, which recalls some of the duodecimal remnants in the otherwise decimal system of many European languages.
Taqồpaq's Gallus-inspired phonology includes the tonal system being described as recalling a rooster's crow. The lexicon includes roots for all things chicken, including using the word for 'wattle' as a classifier for hanging things, which is so delightfully what I wanted out of this challenge. The more idiomatic language makes use of chicken behaviours as descriptors: dust baths are metaphors for something useful but not everyone's cup of tea, and continuing to brood after the chicks have hatched is a metaphor for doing a good thing so long it has negative consequences.
Extra brownie points for exalting queen Trưng, first queen of Vietnam, and a nationalist hero who fought against Chinese imperialism. Double whammy right there!
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Ngālin by u/borago_officinalis

Aptenodytes forsteri (emperor penguins); Awabakal, Māori, Norwegian
We already had a penguin splang but this one's a nice twist by focusing on the territorial claims of Antarctica rather than the ranges of more temperate inclined penguins where there are actually native languages. This does a great job of shirking the indigenous implication in the language selection step of the challenge (although I'm very glad to see no English or Spanish), so there's a really neat mix of isolating Māori particles with a fusional Germanic verbal system, and I was able to easily pick up on both reading through the doc. The verb system actually pleases me greatly with a strong/weak contrast and a V2 word order wherein the strong verbs mark tense through stem change and the weak verbs with a tense auxiliary, all whilst maintaining a very Polynesian aesthetic despite the very Germanic number of vowels. The Māori possessive system is also really fun, I think. I can't speak to the Awabakal influences, but I was able to pick up on the one, tiny Mapudungan influence of tone tag particles before it was even explicitly mentioned! Not sure where the negation system came from, but it implicates the weak verbs in a way I so adore. Really sweet, despite the fun grim facts about emperor penguin hatchlings, and I found this one just darling. The myth at the end about how penguins lost their ability to fly is also real treat and is a perfect fit for the project.
Ngālin doesn't have any A. forsteri-inspired phonology, but it makes up for it with the inspired lexicon and idiomatic language. The emperor penguin breeding cycle is detailed with translations for all the important terms along the way, including but not limited to the ritual of transferring egg from mother to father and "motherless" to refer to a newborn, whose mother hasn't yet returned from the sea. There's some great, everyday idioms elided down from full phrases for greeting and consoling another penguin being "which way?" and "next year", and conceptualising a long distance as specifically the distance from colony to see is a nice touch. I also appreciate how the relationship between creche-mates is more important than that between (half-)siblings.
I have to give queen exaltation brownie points purely for the one illustrative example of āmā o pipa "hatchling's mum" grammatically indicating the senior authority of an empress penguin.
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Honourable Mention

I've been kept somewhat apprised of a Urile (North Pacific cormorants) splang by u/PastTheStarryVoids. It's still very much in the works, but it sounds funky with both some polysynthetic flavours, no doubt inspired by some PNW languages, I imagine, and some formorant (cormorant formant) analysis! Keep an eye out for it, I'm sure it'll grace the sub in due time!
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And that's everything I've seen in the time I put together this showcase. I know there were a few among you all who felt inspired but couldn't put anything together during the course of this challenge. I remember mention of a banana and a tree kangaroo splang on the announcement post. If anyone ever uses the challenge to inspire a future project of theirs, please keep me apprised! I'd be interested in seeing them if for nothing else than to see some more projects outside of South Asian and Oceanian birds, as great as those birbs are. I can't believe I didn't see a single monotreme or non-ungulate eutherian, and that there weren't any non-avian reptiles or anything fully aquatic! And no fossil clades, too, for that matter! I'm positive there are the makings of some really funky splangs if the relevant modern continental and climactic boundaries didn't yet exist.
In any case, I hope all parties involved had a great deal of fun through the course of this challenge! I know I did! Until next marrow, bonelickers!

My name is Rory Fars, and my little sister, Lily Fars, is the last family I had left.
A heavy sense of dread settled over me like a suffocating blanket as I sat in the worn leather seat of Lily's old jeep. The car, a relic of our happier days, seemed to groan under our shared sorrow. Beside me, Lily, my best friend, and confidante, absentmindedly twirled a strand of her long, dark hair, which swayed gently in rhythm with the haunting melodies from the oldies station on the radio. This car had seen us through countless joyful journeys when our family was whole. Almost three years had passed since that fateful Christmas trip in Texas when our parents were tragically killed in a horrific multi-car pileup. The memory of their loss was a constant ache, a wound that never fully healed.
My dad was from Amarillo, Texas, so my parents often took trips down there, visiting the places that held so many memories for him. During one of these trips, just before Christmas, a sudden blizzard struck while they were on the freeway. The snow fell in blinding sheets, making the world outside a disorienting white blur. As they tried to slowly pull to the side, their vision obscured by the relentless storm, they never saw the car barreling toward them at least forty miles an hour. The impact was devastating, an abrupt and brutal end to their journey and, in many ways, to our lives as we had known them.
My parents were always sticklers for safety, insisting on seatbelts every time we got in the car. So, of course, they had theirs on during that fateful trip. The initial impact wasn't what killed them, the coroner explained to me. Not even the first hit from behind, which was going at least fifty miles an hour, was fatal. I had to practically shake the information out of him—they were so resistant to tell me anything at first. By the time the third car hit, with an unknown speed, their survival was already in jeopardy. The coroner said that by the fifth car, they were likely dead. But it didn't end there. Another twenty-three vehicles slammed into the back of the pile, each collision further crushing their bodies, reducing them to a horrific, unrecognizable state. Each jarring impact pushed my parents deeper into a gruesome amalgamation of twisted metal and shattered lives.
I don't know why I felt compelled to demand those details at the time, but I deeply regret it now. I wish I had never asked. Almost every night, unless I drink myself into oblivion, I am haunted by nightmares of what they endured. I dream of driving up to save them, only to be caught in the same deadly barrage of cars, ending in a twisted metal tomb for all of us.
Lily is never in those dreams. Even in my most horrific imaginings, I can't envision her being hurt. Lily is my little sister, younger by eight years and three months. Whenever I mention our age difference, I see the judgment in people's eyes, but what can I say? Our parents never stopped loving each other. They had Lily late in life; she became our shared joy, our living reminder of the love that had bound our family together.
Lily wasn't my twin in the literal sense, but ever since she was born, it felt like we shared the inexplicable connection that twins often describe. As she grew up, our bond only deepened—we acted, sounded, and even looked remarkably alike. She became my rock, especially after our parents' tragic deaths. We leaned on each other, cried into each other's shoulders, and somehow found the strength to move forward. We eventually moved in together, finding solace in a two-bedroom apartment that became our sanctuary.
Lily seemed to handle our parents' deaths better than I did, or maybe she was just better at distracting herself with technology. Even before their passing, Lily was addicted to any kind of digital screen she could manipulate. Her ability to navigate the digital world was unmatched; she was the most intelligent person I had ever met. Her intelligence was a beacon of light in the darkness that had enveloped us, a testament to her resilience and brilliance.
After my parents' death, I embarked on a quest to find my spirituality by delving into paranormal investigations. I hoped these pursuits would bring me closer to my parents in the afterlife, spiritual realm, or whatever you want to call it. Instead, it created a chasm between me and any sense of spiritual existence. Each investigation seemed to push me further from the answers I sought, leaving me feeling more isolated and disconnected than ever.
I had hoped that by exploring these paranormal claims, I would discover a way to reach out to my parents and feel their presence again. Yet, as the years have passed, this endeavor has only deepened my loneliness and sense of loss. Despite knowing how detrimental it is to my mental health, I can't bring myself to stop. The hope that the subsequent investigation will be the one that proves the existence of an afterlife and that I'll find a way to contact my parents keeps me going. It's a desperate, unrelenting pursuit for a connection that remains heartbreakingly out of reach.
I should have accepted their death and moved on like any sane person would. Instead, I let my grief fester and dragged my sister and a stranger, Mark, through my obsessive quest for answers. My relentless pursuit of the paranormal didn't just alienate me; it consumed us all, leading to their untimely deaths. My name is Rory Fars, and I am here to confess my side of the story about the missing case of Lily Fars and Mark Lawrence.
This is the truth about how my desperate search for a connection with the afterlife led to a nightmare from which none of us could escape.
To start off, no, Lily was not a student of Mark's who fell in love with him and then got jealous of me hitting on him, leading her to kill him and herself. I know that sounds ridiculous, but given some wild theories circulating online, I need to address this one specifically since it seems to be the most popular.
First and foremost, Mark Lawrence was not, nor has he ever been, a professor at a university. Lily and I met Mark at the Local Museum in Redlin, a town nestled deep in the Appalachian Mountains. He was the curator of an exhibit showcasing the history of Raven's Nest, a forgotten mining town that neither Lily nor I had ever heard of. This is where our story begins, in a place steeped in history and mystery, far removed from the convoluted theories that now cloud the truth.
We were constantly searching for new ideas for our podcast about paranormal claims. Each of our twenty-five episodes so far had concluded with a rational explanation, so when Mark told us about the curse of Harper, I was immediately intrigued.
Mark was an older man, likely in his mid-sixties, with a full head of silver hair and a beard that stubbornly clung to its youthful color, only lightly dusted with grey. He had a presence that commanded attention, and his stories about the curse were delivered with an intensity that drew me in.
On the other hand, Lily was always more interested in the technical aspects of the paranormal. She had her own theories and was determined to debunk every claim we investigated. She wasn't easily swayed by Mark's tales about the curse of Harper, but she was willing to listen and give him a chance to prove himself. Her skeptical mind constantly checked my enthusiasm, and together, we hoped to uncover the truth behind yet another paranormal mystery.
"Hello ladies, care to hear about the mysterious town of Raven's Nest?" Mark asked with theatrical enthusiasm.
Lily and I exchanged a knowing glance, trying to stifle our amusement. Despite our attempts to remain composed, a smirk played at the corners of our lips.
"We're all ears," I replied, my tone laced with a hint of sarcasm.
He sighed, almost as if he was disappointed that we said yes. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to steel himself for the task ahead. "Well, you see," he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty, "in the early twentieth century, a man named Harper Franstein exploited many men and children in the coal mines. By the mid-1920s, he had established his own settlement in a secluded valley, which he dubbed 'The Raven's Nest.' It was never officially recognized as a town, but that's the only name we have to go off of."
I could see the beads of sweat forming on Mark's brow as he struggled to recall every detail. Despite his initial enthusiasm, he now appeared flustered, his confidence waning. Eventually, he resorted to consulting his damp and crumpled notes, a sign of his growing unease.
"Um, anyway, yeah, um," he stuttered, audibly gulping as his nerves got the better of him. Lily couldn't contain her laughter, emitting a snicker that earned us a glare from Mark.
"Hey, just relax," I interjected, trying to diffuse the tension. "We're not here to judge or intimidate you." With a gentle touch on his forearm and a chuckle, I attempted to reassure him, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort.
He paused, sharing a chuckle with me, while Lily struggled to suppress her laughter and eventually excused herself, leaving just Mark and me. Evidently, he felt more at ease with fewer listeners, so he pressed on with his narrative.
"Anyway," he resumed, "Harper held complete control over the town and the mine, and he made sure everyone was acutely aware of that fact. When the disappearances began, he tried to sweep them under the rug, attributing them to anything but his own negligence in mining practices."
"What do you mean by 'negligence in mining practices'?" I interjected, eager to delve deeper into his intriguing tale.
He looked up, clearly pleased by my question. "Yes, exactly," he affirmed. "Harper adhered to a mining technique outlined by Dwight Brunst in the mid to late nineteenth century. This method mandated only one entry and exit point into the mine."
"Wait, so they were forbidden from creating additional exits?" I pressed for clarification.
"Not explicitly," he explained. "The practice advocated for just one entry and exit as it was believed to minimize the risk of cave-ins, at least in theory. However, there were instances where miners, feeling uneasy about this restriction, took matters into their own hands and carved out what they called 'Emergency Exits' for themselves. After about half of the town started going missing, Harper couldn't take criticism about how he responded, but most people say he was losing money quickly and didn't want to live in a world where he was poor. He walked into the mine, never to be seen again, much like the cave's past victims. Visitors report seeing and hearing Harper, trying to get them to leave."
As I stood there, listening to Mark's enthralling narrative, I found myself captivated by the mysterious allure of Raven's Nest. Unable to contain my curiosity, I decided to pose a question.
"So, what does the town look like now?" I inquired, eager to learn more about the present state of this enigmatic place.
Mark's demeanor shifted slightly as he rifled through his notes, a subtle indication that he didn't have a straightforward answer to my query.
"You've never been there?" I asked, my tone softening with genuine curiosity.
He flinched as though my question had struck a nerve. "Shhhhhh... shut up," he demanded, his voice tinged with unease.
Suppressing a chuckle, I leaned in closer and whispered, "Okay, hear me out. My sister Lily and I are investigating paranormal phenomena. Your story about Raven's Nest sounds like the perfect addition to our podcast. What do you say we compensate you for your guidance? Let's say, three hundred bucks?"
He straightened up, contemplating my proposition for a few moments. Without uttering a word, he extended his hand, and I met it halfway with my own, sealing our agreement with a firm handshake.
Our journey to Raven's Nest was no easy feat. Situated a good twenty miles from town and nestled deep within a dense valley. After all of the tight turns, narrow dirt roads, and steep inclines, it took us a grueling two and a half hours to go twenty-something miles, but we finally reached the outskirts of the infamous settlement. As we stood at the edge of the "Nest," anticipation mingled with trepidation, setting the stage for the eerie exploration that lay ahead.
I glanced at my phone; the time read 11:56 pm, signaling the late hour. Sensing the exhaustion weighing heavily, I suggested we catch a few hours of rest in Lily's jeep. Mark, though visibly unsettled, remained silent from the back seat, his arms folded tightly across his chest as he slumped against the window like a sulking child.
Drifting asleep in the passenger seat, I soon found myself ensnared in a nightmare. In my dream, Mark was being dragged away into the darkness, his desperate attempts to claw his way back to safety only resulting in broken fingertips. Despite his struggles, he was powerless against the unseen force pulling him inexorably into the abyss. Suddenly, I was alone, engulfed in utter darkness, my heart pounding with fear as I ran blindly from an unseen terror that seemed to pursue me relentlessly, its malevolent presence palpable but unseen.
I jolted awake, gasping for breath, my heart racing as the remnants of dread lingered in the pit of my stomach. It was morning, and I was struggling to adjust my vision. Lily's frantic but comforting voice broke through the haze of my terror, grounding me in reality. With her comforting embrace, I gradually calmed my racing thoughts, drawing deep, steadying breaths.
As we sat there, enveloped in each other's embrace, Mark approached the driver's side window with an unexpected question, "Alright, what's for breakfast?" His nonchalant tone and casual demeanor were a stark contrast to the harrowing nightmare that had just consumed my thoughts, momentarily dispelling the lingering specter of fear that had haunted my dreams.
Lily and I both look up at him and back at each other as we burst out into laughter.
Amidst our shared laughter, Lily and I exchanged amused glances before turning our attention back to Mark.
"Ha...ha, yeah. No, but seriously, what's for breakfast? Eggs, bacon, toast, at least?" Mark pressed, hoping for a more substantial response.
His earnest inquiry fueled our laughter further, our giggles echoing through the quiet night air. Eventually, we regained our composure and stepped out of the jeep, stretching our limbs after the cramped confines of the vehicle.
Mark awkwardly moves to the side, still waiting for an honest answer. Lily tossed him a granola bar, eliciting a bemused chuckle from him. With a shared understanding, we set off on foot, embarking on the hike into the town.
The path ahead was clear: a single dirt road that wound its way from the abandoned coal mine into the heart of the small settlement. The road, now overgrown and muddy from years of disuse, bore the marks of neglect and isolation. Wary of the treacherous conditions, Lily opted to forgo the risk of getting stuck, steering clear of the decrepit road that likely hadn't seen a traveler in at least half a century.
We parked Lily's jeep at the entrance to both the mine and the town of Raven's Nest, opting to proceed on foot from there. Standing at the mountain's peak, gazing down at the desolate town below, I couldn't help but ponder the history beneath the dilapidated structures. I imagined how this valley must have once been a pristine landscape cherished by the indigenous people who roamed its lush terrain.
"Jesus, this place is more like a shit nest," Mark muttered in disgust, his disdain evident in his tone.
Lily shot me a knowing glance, silently communicating her skepticism toward Mark's assessment of the town.
Deciding to put Mark's knowledge to the test, I casually inquired, "So, what year was this area founded?"
Mark's reaction was almost defensive as if my question had caught him off guard. He hesitated momentarily before fumbling for his note cards in his pocket, a telltale sign that he wasn't as knowledgeable as he let on.
Before he could respond, I interjected with another question, "Mark, how long have you worked at the museum?"
As Mark froze, his gaze locking onto mine like a deer caught in headlights, I watched him closely, waiting for any sign of hesitation or discomfort. My narrowed eyes bore into his, silently urging him to be honest.
Finally, breaking the tense silence, Mark confessed, "Look, this is only my first week. I... I haven't had the greatest time lately, and I really need the extra money. I'm sorry I lied, but I'll help however I can."
I met his gaze unwaveringly, sensing the sincerity in his words. Clearly, he was a man in need of redemption, grappling with his own personal struggles.
"Alright, alright, don't cry too much," I teased lightly, trying to ease the tension. Gesturing towards Lily, who was busy preparing her wireless motion cameras in her backpack, I continued, "Lily and I already figured that was the case. Honestly, we're surprised you agreed to come along."
Mark remained frozen, but the tension seemed to melt away from his expression, replaced by a tentative smile. It was a moment of shared understanding, a silent acknowledgment that he was still welcomed into our expedition despite his initial deception.
"Alright, I have the cams and portable batteries to make sure the cameras and anything we have with power can last," Lily said, her voice brimming with determination.
We began our descent into the town, our hiking boots struggling against the thick, clinging mud produced by the constant light rain and years of disuse. Each step was a battle, the mud threatening to swallow our boots with every move.
After an eternity of trudging through the muck, we finally reached the town's only paved road—the main road. It had taken us only about fifteen minutes to hike down, but navigating the muddy slope had sapped our energy. We paused for a break, taking a few minutes to clean off our boots and catch our breath.
As we rested, I noticed Lily rummaging through her bag with a focused intensity. Curious, I asked, "What are you looking for?"
"I brought five motion-detecting cameras that I want to set up strategically throughout the town," she replied, pulling out one of the cameras. She walked over to the nearest building, a structure that served as a post office, police station, and fire station. She positioned the camera outside the building so it was pointed at the only road leading in and out of the town.
"We need to cover all potential points of interest," she explained, securing the camera in place. "This one will monitor any activity on the main road. We should place the other cameras around key locations like the mine entrance, the town square, and some more intact buildings."
I nodded, appreciating her thoroughness. "Good idea. We need to make sure we capture anything unusual."
Mark, having finally caught his breath, joined us. "Alright, let's get these cameras set up and see what we can find," he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.
"Look," Lily said, turning her tablet screen toward us. She waved her hand in front of the camera she had just placed. The tablet displayed five squares on the interface, each meant to show a feed from one of the cameras. Since Lily had only set up one camera so far, only the bottom right square showed any footage pointed at the road leading out of town. She stopped waving her hand, and the feed went to a blue screen.
"What happened? Did we lose connection?" Mark asked frantically, his eyes wide with concern.
Lily cackled, struggling to contain her amusement. Composing herself, she waved her hand in front of the camera again, and the bottom right square showed her hand waving once more. "It's motion-activated. It's the best way to save on battery life," she explained.
Mark seemed to relax, though he was still catching his breath after the brief panic.
I glanced at my watch, noting the time. "It's 8:30. We're behind schedule. If you want to place the rest of your cameras, we better move now," I said, walking down the street.
Lily immediately got up and followed me, with Mark struggling to keep pace behind us. We reached the market building, and Lily positioned her second camera on the side of the road, pointing up at the market.
It's not much longer before we make it to the Town Hall. I suggest Lily place a camera nearby. She nods and heads into a building across from the Town Hall labeled, "Slaughterhouse: LOCAL ANIMALS ONLY."
As Lily explores the building to find an adequate spot for the camera, I wait for Mark to catch up. While I wait, I can't help but imagine this town in its prime, picturing the streets filled with families who loved each other.
My thoughts are abruptly cut off by a sound echoing in the distance—a roar unlike any I've ever heard. It was a mix of a human screaming in pain, the roar of a lion, and, near the end, the howl of a wolf. The chilling sound sent shivers down my spine.
I jump to my feet and immediately call out, "Lily, you okay?"
There's no response from Lily, but I'm interrupted by Mark finally catching up, panting heavily.
"Holy... shit... did you... hear that?" Mark said frantically between breaths.
"Yeah, we have to find Lily," I say, bolting into the slaughterhouse. I glance back to see Mark bracing himself on the steps of the Town Hall, struggling to keep up.
As I enter the building, the stench of rotting flesh hits me like a wave, causing me to gag. The smell is too fresh to be decades old.
"Lily? Lily, where are you?" I yell, using my shirt to shield my nose from the overwhelming odor.
"Rory, I'm in here!" I hear Lily yell from a room two doors down. I pass the first door, peeking in to ensure I hadn't misheard, but I wish I hadn't looked.
Inside the first room, I catch a glimpse of what appears to be a pile of animal carcasses, their decayed bodies arranged in a grotesque display. The sight is horrifying, the flesh still disturbingly fresh. The bile rises in my throat, but I force myself to focus on finding Lily.
I rush to the room where her voice came from, pushing the door open. Lily is there, setting up the camera, seemingly oblivious to the horror in the adjacent room. Relief floods through me as I see she's safe.
"Lily, did you hear that roar?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Yeah, I heard it," she replies, her eyes wide with concern. "I was just finishing up here. Let's get back to Mark and figure out what that was." She had placed the camera in a window, pointing directly at the Town Hall.
We hurry back outside, where Mark still catches his breath as we meet between the buildings. "We need to stay together from now on," I say firmly, looking at both of them. "Whatever that noise was, it's not something we want to face alone."
"Let's check out the Town Hall!" Mark says excitedly as he slowly clambers through a broken window.
"Did he not just hear what I said?" I mutter under my breath, shaking my head in disbelief.
Lily gives me a shrug, her eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Guess we're heading into the Town Hall then," she says, adjusting her backpack and walking towards the broken window.
I sigh and follow suit, hoisting myself up and carefully maneuvering through the jagged glass. Inside, the air is musty, filled with the scent of old paper and decaying wood. Dust motes float lazily in the beams of sunlight streaming through the cracked windows.
The main hall is vast and eerily silent, with rows of empty chairs facing a stage draped in tattered curtains. The walls are lined with faded portraits and yellowed maps of the town, remnants of a time when this place was alive and bustling.
Mark is already at the front, examining a large, decrepit desk. "Look at this," he says, his voice echoing in the empty space. "It's like stepping back in time."
I walk over, glancing at the old papers scattered across the desk. Most are mundane—meeting minutes, maintenance logs—but one catches my eye. It's a letter dated June 1925, addressed to Harper Franstein.
"Harper, the disappearances are becoming more frequent. The townsfolk are getting restless, and I fear they may take matters into their own hands if we don't act soon. We need to find out what's causing this before it's too late."
I read the letter aloud, and the room fell silent. "Sounds like things were getting pretty tense," Lily remarks, her voice subdued.
As I'm distracted by the time capsule in front of us, Mark sneaks off.
I'm not sure how long it was before she noticed, but I saw Lily looking around before saying, "Where the hell did Mark go?" breaking me out of my trance.
I look around, turning my head in all directions, and shrug at Lily. I hear shuffling in the second room down the hall, so I slowly walk toward it.
"Mark?" I call out.
Just then, a loud crash reverberates through the building, making it sound like the whole place was about to come down.
We run in and see Mark struggling to keep himself from falling into a giant hole that must've broken under his weight. Trying not to laugh, I glance at Lily. We help him up as he dramatically falls onto his back, wheezing as he catches his breath.
Lily and I can't contain our laughter anymore as we bust out laughing hard. Startled by our sudden outburst, Mark jumps in fear. He looks around, confused for a few seconds, before realizing that we are laughing at him.
"Jesus, thanks, I guess," he says, clearly thankful but annoyed by our reaction.
After we contained ourselves, we headed back outside, exiting through the window Mark entered through. He struggles to climb out, but after Lily gives him a hand, he is safely out of the Town Hall.
"Alright, Ror, where should we put the next camera?" Lily asks me.
I stop to think momentarily, trying to picture the town's layout. "I think the only place left is the neighborhood," I respond confidently. I always talk like that with Lily. Over the years, I've realized she is the only person I can have that much confidence around. With anyone else, I'm worried about saying something stupid or wrong or how they'll view me, but with my sister, everything is easy.
As I look at the replica map of the town in its heyday from the museum, I determine that the neighborhood is to the East. "Okay, looks like we head East past the Library. Let's go." I say, walking away.
It only takes about eight minutes to get to the long strip of road that housed the town's workers. According to the map, there were fifteen houses along this strip of road.
The houses stand eerily silent, their wooden frames weathered and decayed by time. We walk down the road, our footsteps crunching on the gravel and echoing in the stillness. The air feels heavier here like the past is watching us, waiting to reveal its secrets.
"Let's put the last cameras on that house at the end of the road," I suggest, pointing to a house that looks slightly less dilapidated than the others, "another one at the last house on the other side, and the last we can save for a spot you choose."
Lily nods and heads toward the first house, pulling another camera from her backpack. She sets it up on the porch, positioning it to capture the entire street, and does the same in the opposite house. As I stand with Mark breathing hard, still unable to catch his breath since we first got here, I can't shake the feeling that we're being watched. I glance around nervously but see nothing out of the ordinary.
"All set," Lily says, breaking my reverie, "Still no ideas for the last cam?" Lily asks me.
"Like I said, wherever you think it would be best. I feel like we have enough good spots and angles, so go wild with that one," I told her.
She smirked and kept walking next to me. Mark was still struggling behind, but after the town hall mishap, he was trying his best to keep up. I looked at my watch, and it read '12:30 pm'.
"Holy shit, it's already 12:30," I said in amazement, but no one else seemed fazed. It felt like we'd only been here thirty minutes, not almost four hours.
We walked back down the street. Lily and I had been discussing on the walk that she should put the last camera at the town's only stoplight in front of the Library.
As we made our way to it, I could have sworn I was seeing something moving fast past my vision in the corner of my eye. Every time I turned to look, it was gone. I chalked it up to being my imagination until Lily and Mark both experienced the same thing.
"What the fuck was that?" Mark asked as he ducked, bracing for something terrible to happen. Lily and I looked back at him and then at each other as we shrugged. It was after that that I started seeing things, too.
I confided in Lily about the unsettling visions and sounds, and she admitted she had experienced the same phenomena but had kept quiet, fearing Mark would dismiss her as paranoid.
"Well, it's probably just a cat or something," I said, attempting to downplay the situation, but neither seemed convinced.
We continued our trek, and I noticed that the more we walked, the more frequently I caught fleeting glimpses of movement in my peripheral vision. It was beginning to grate on my nerves.
Finally, we reached the light in front of the Library. As Lily mounted the camera, I felt a sense of satisfaction. We were making good progress, and it seemed like a suitable moment to start exploring the town more freely. We decided to split up and cover different sections of the town.
"Wait, we have to go alone? Why can't we stay together like you said?" Mark asked frantically, but Lily and I ignored him as we headed in separate directions. He continued to protest, but we paid him no mind. Eventually, I was either far enough away to not hear him anymore, or he had given up. Either way, I was happy to enjoy the eerie silence of the town.
As I wandered, the stillness of Raven's Nest enveloped me. With its decrepit buildings and overgrown streets, the town exuded an unsettling charm. It was as if I had stepped into a forgotten world, a place frozen in time with secrets waiting to be unearthed. The ambiance reminded me of an amusement park's haunted town section—artificially eerie yet irresistibly intriguing. Despite the creepiness, the mysterious vibe of the town kept me engaged and eager to explore its hidden corners.
I glanced at my watch again, only to find the time glaring back at me: 3:19 pm. It couldn't be right. There was no way it had been that long since I last checked. Panic seized me, and I called out for Lily, my voice tinged with urgency. She appeared beside me in a matter of minutes, her expression mirroring my concern.
"What's up, Ror? You okay?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.
"How long would you say it's been since you put the last camera down?" I inquired, my heart pounding in my chest.
Lily's brow furrowed as she struggled to come up with an answer. "Uh, I don't know, thirty minutes?" she hazarded a guess.
I held up my watch, displaying the time: 3:20 pm. Lily fell silent, her eyes widening in disbelief. She was never great with time, but missing almost three hours of our memory was unprecedented.
"There's no way. Your watch must be—" Lily began, her voice trailing off as she checked her own watch, only to freeze in shock when she found it displayed the same time as mine.
"Lil, something is going on," I stated, my voice tight and apprehensive. I glanced up at the sky, my stomach churning as I noticed the clouds darkening and rolling in from all sides of the valley.
The sky closed rapidly, ominous clouds obscuring the sun as thunder rumbled ominously against the mountains.
"Mark? Mark, where are—" I began to call out, but before I could finish, Mark emerged from behind a wall, appearing as if he'd been too frightened to venture far on his own.
"We have to get inside!" Mark exclaimed urgently, his voice tinged with fear.

*Note: This is just an imaginative brainstorm scenario that I came up with. This is not canon to the mod's lore in any way.*
After the Second Weltkrieg the world was divided into two spheres, starting the Kalterkrieg. The Canadian sphere of influence (The Accord) against the German sphere of influence (The Reichspakt).
Germany had been the victor in two world wars, cementing its dominance over Europe and reshaping global power dynamics. The Reichspakt extended its reach across the continent and beyond, establishing puppet states and strategic alliances to maintain its hegemony. Meanwhile, Canada, having escaped the devastation of the wars, is on a very rough start.
*The 50s*
The 1950s will start with a bang as the Russian State explodes into a wave of separatist movements and instability following the death of Savinkov, leading to the fall of the Russian State. This fragmentation sees various ethnic and regional groups seizing the opportunity to assert independence.
Germany, seeing a chance to expand its influence, gets involved by backing loyalist factions and attempting to re establish it's puppet regimes that were lost in the second weltkrieg. Following the collapse of the Russian State, regions in Central Asia and the Caucasus, formerly occupied by Russia, regain their independence.
*The 60s*
In North America, the former United States of America has splintered into three states following the Second American Civil War: the American Union State, the Great Lakes Government, and the Pacific States.
The American Union State aspire to reunify America, aiming to break free from Accordite influence and reshape the nation in a new image. They perceive the Pacific States as remnants of the old government that failed the American people once.
It's clear that a new war is coming and the second American civil war is far from over as the the inevitable happened. The American Union states seeking to reunite America will declare war on the "remnants of the old corrupt order"
The Canadians will be involved in the war by sending volunteers, while Germany will be sending military aid to the AUS. The Third American Civil War will be seen as one of the most important proxy conflicts during the Kalterkrieg.
The war will last very long as the longist government was more prepared for the war, and the war will also be very unpopular for the Canadians, leading to anti-war protests. The PSA government, however, has turned out to be very unpopular as the war goes on, as longist supporters on the west coast and in New England rallied around and supported reunification with the AUS.
Amidst a discontented populace and an increasingly unpopular war, the inevitable occurred: Canada opted to withdraw volunteers from the conflict. While they continued to provide military aid to the Accord-backed states, this wouldn't be enough. Ultimately, America was reunified under the AUS.
This will deal a significant blow to the Accord, as they lose America to the Longists. Despite receiving German military aid, the AUS government will prioritize "American interests" first and adopt a largely neutral stance during the Cold War.
*Late 60s to 70s*
In Africa, the German Mittelafrika will grapple with numerous anti-colonial rebellions. This challenge won't be unique to the Germans; the French will face similar difficulties in North Africa.
As the anti-colonial movements gain momentum across Africa, both German Mittelafrika and French North Africa will find themselves embroiled in protracted conflicts. Local resistance forces, fueled by a desire for independence, will pose significant challenges to colonial rule. The colonial powers will struggle to maintain control over their territories, facing resistance on multiple fronts and encountering fierce opposition from determined rebel fighters. The tumultuous struggle for independence in Africa will reshape the continent's political landscape and have far-reaching implications for colonial powers and indigenous populations alike.
As the momentum of decolonization grows, the French will eventually decide to withdraw and grant independence to their colonies, in line with the Accord's recognition of decolonization as an inevitable reality.
However, the situation with the Germans will prove more challenging. Their refusal to yield to decolonization will result in prolonged and violent conflicts. Eventually, they will be forcefully ousted from their colonies, marking a bloody and tumultuous end to their colonial rule in Africa.
*The 80s*
Recent geopolitical conflicts have highlighted the waning influence of the Accord and the diminishing power of Canada in the face of the German empire. The Germans have demonstrated superiority both economically and militarily, asserting their dominance on the global stage.
The European landscape remains unchanged, with France still divided between North and South. However, recent events have prompted the French to become more receptive to "negotiating" with the Germans, potentially paving the way for discussions about reunification.
The Germans would only entertain the idea of French unification under the condition that France acknowledges German claims and pretty much submitting to Germany.
However, in North France, the German-backed government faced mounting unpopularity, particularly with the puppet king at its helm. It became increasingly evident that the government's grip on power was tenuous, and it was only a matter of time before it collapsed, paving the way for reunification with the Republic.
With a fervent desire for reunification with the Republic of France pulsed through the hearts of the populace. Discontent with the German-backed government brewed as aspirations for democratic governance under the Republic intensified.
Amidst this backdrop, leaders within the Republic grappled with the delicate balance of strategic pragmatism. Recognizing the significance of reunification for the nation's unity and sovereignty, they sought a bold solution to overcome obstacles.
In a strategic move to secure reunification, the French Republic made a decisive announcement. Leaders declared their intention to withdraw from the Accord and recognize German claims, signaling a departure from the Accord. However, France emphasized its determination to pursue an independent path, separate from any alliance, as it believed the Accord had proven inferior to the German-led Reichspakt. This calculated decision aimed to garner German support for reunification by showcasing a willingness to align with their geopolitical interests, while also asserting France's commitment to sovereignty.
The announcement sent shockwaves across Europe, evoking a range of reactions. While some lauded it as a bold diplomatic move towards reunification, others expressed concerns about its potential implications for regional stability and power dynamics.
As the government in North France collapses amidst the reunification with the French Republic, Germany makes the strategic decision to withdraw its support. This pivotal moment signifies the end of the Cold War, with the German sphere demonstrating its superiority and solidifying its influence. Meanwhile, the decline of Canadian influence continues.
*Asia*
(I have to separate this from the rest)
In the late 40s, the reunification of China under the Beiyang government marks a significant victory as they emerge triumphant in the civil war, leading to the fall of the Left KMT Guangzhou government. This consolidation of power sets the stage for a new chapter in China's history, the new reunified Republic of China under the Beiyang government will be ruled with an iron fist.
Meanwhile, Japan, despite its extensive regional empire encompassing all of Southeast Asia, will reveal their vulnerabilities as Southeast Asian nationalists rise in rebellion against the Rising Sun. Facing a barrage of guerrilla warfare in the Pacific, Japan will ultimately be ousted from Southeast Asia once and for all.
China will emerge from the shadows of the century of humiliation as a rising power, potentially becoming the most powerful force in Asia. They will expand their influence by backing Korean nationalists in their pursuit of independence. As the Empire of Japan crumbles, they will be left with only Formosa as their last remaining foothold.
*The 90s and Beyond*
Following the Kalterkrieg, Germany emerges as the preeminent global power, standing unrivaled on the world stage. With its unmatched military prowess, economic strength, and strategic alliances, Germany solidifies its position as the sole superpower in the post-Kalterkrieg era.
However, Germany's dominance as the sole world power would not remain unchallenged for long. as emerging powers begin to challenge its supremacy. In Asia, China's rapid economic growth and assertive foreign policy propel it onto the world stage as a formidable player. The reunified American Union State, with its revitalized economy and a gigantic industry, also emerges as a significant force to be reckoned with.
As China and the AUS rise in prominence, the global balance of power undergoes a profound shift. Germany finds itself facing new geopolitical realities, as it contends with the growing influence and ambitions of these rising powers.
*This is my scenario of a German victory in the cold war against the Accord. Feel free to criticize or suggest something*

Hi Everybody! I have a long list of games I'm selling below. Hit me with any offers on one game or multiple games! Thank you!
Fallout 76 PC (Redeem on Microsoft Store)
Marvel's Avengers The Definitive Edition (Steam)
A Way Out (Origin Code)
Humble Bundle Stand with Ukraine Bundle
Back 4 Blood
Metro: Exodus
Max Payne 3
Sunset Overdrive
This War of Mine
PGA Tour 2K21
The Long Dark
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Endless Space 2
Ring of Pain
Kerbal Space Program
Starbound
Popup Dungeon
Expeditions: Viking
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Wandersong
Supraland
Crying Suns
Wizard of Legend
Amnesia: Rebirth
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Vagante
Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
Wargroove
Warsaw
Drawful 2
SUPERHOT
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Broken Age
Pikuniku
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Inmost
Pathway
Rustler
112 Operator
911 Operator
Radio Commander
Kingdom Two Crowns
West of Dead
Tooth and Tail
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Book of Demons
Fury Unleashed
Going Under
Yoku's Island Express
Nex Machina
X-Morph: Defense
X-Morph: Defense - European Assault
X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest
X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
DV: Rings of Saturn
Slinger VR
Pixplode
Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
EarthX
Neverout
Telefrag VR
Pawnbarian
NecroWorm
Hexologic
Post Void
Moon Hunters
The Amazing American Circus
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Corridor Z
Draw Slasher
Shing!
Go Home Dinosaurs
Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
Soulblight
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Orbital Racer
Lust for Darkness
Liberated
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Say No! More
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Humble Bundle Choice April 2023
Not included (Death Stranding Director's Cut)
Aliens Fireteam Elite (Steam)
Rollerdrome (Steam)
Life is Strange : Complete Edition (Steam)
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante (Steam)
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp (Steam)
Revita (Steam)
Founder's Fortune (Steam)
​
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Humble Bundle Choice July 2023
The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition (Steam)
Temtem (Steam)
Yakuza 4 Remastered (Steam)
Roadwarden (Steam)
Kraken Academy! (Steam)
Merchant of the Skies (Steam)
Ozymandias: Bronze Age Empire Sim 9Steam)
Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate (Steam)
​
Humble Bundle Aspyr 25th Anniversary Bundle
Fahrenheit
LightMatter
Morkredd
Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth - The Collection
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
Bioshock Infinite
Bioshock Infinite - Season Pass
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Fanatical Stand with Ukraine Bundle
1993 Space Machine
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Pizza Connection 3
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ROUNDS
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Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
Renowned Explorers: International Society
Shortest Trip to Earth
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THE CORRIDOR
Tales of the Tiny Planet
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The Falconeer
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Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Treasure Temples
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Unexplored
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ibb & obb - Best Friends Forever Double Pack
​
Humble Bundle Türkiye-Syria Earthquake Relief Bundle
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Sunlight

The 2024-25 Premier League season is set to kick off, featuring a thrilling lineup of 20 teams vying for the prestigious English football championship. This campaign marks the 33rd season of the Premier League and the 126th season of top-flight English football overall.
Ahead of the new season, several key changes have been implemented, including adjustments to the festive fixture schedule and the introduction of semi-automated offside technology.
As reigning champions Manchester City aim to secure their fifth consecutive title, a strong field of contenders is ready to challenge them.

List of Premier League Teams (2024-25 Season)

Here is the comprehensive list of Premier League teams for the 2024-25 season:
1. Arsenal

• Location: London (Holloway)
• Stadium: Emirates Stadium
• Capacity: 60,704

2. Aston Villa

• Location: Birmingham
• Stadium: Villa Park
• Capacity: 42,657

3. Bournemouth

• Location: Bournemouth
• Stadium: Dean Court
• Capacity: 11,307

4. Brentford

• Location: London (Brentford)
• Stadium: Brentford Community Stadium
• Capacity: 17,250

5. Brighton & Hove Albion

• Location: Brighton and Hove
• Stadium: Falmer Stadium
• Capacity: 31,876

6. Chelsea

• Location: London (Fulham)
• Stadium: Stamford Bridge
• Capacity: 40,343

7. Crystal Palace

• Location: London (Selhurst)
• Stadium: Selhurst Park
• Capacity: 25,486

8. Everton

• Location: Liverpool (Walton)
• Stadium: Goodison Park
• Capacity: 39,414

9. Fulham

• Location: London (Fulham)
• Stadium: Craven Cottage
• Capacity: 24,500

10. Ipswich Town

• Location: Ipswich
• Stadium: Portman Road
• Capacity: 30,673

11. Leicester City

• Location: Leicester
• Stadium: King Power Stadium
• Capacity: 32,262

12. Liverpool

• Location: Liverpool (Anfield)
• Stadium: Anfield
• Capacity: 61,276

13. Manchester City

• Location: Manchester (Bradford)
• Stadium: City of Manchester Stadium
• Capacity: 53,400

14. Manchester United

• Location: Manchester (Old Trafford)
• Stadium: Old Trafford
• Capacity: 74,031

15. Newcastle United

• Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
• Stadium: St James' Park
• Capacity: 52,257

16. Nottingham Forest

• Location: West Bridgford
• Stadium: City Ground
• Capacity: 30,404

17. Southampton

• Location: Southampton
• Stadium: St Mary's Stadium
• Capacity: 32,384

18. Tottenham Hotspur

• Location: London (Tottenham)
• Stadium: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
• Capacity: 62,850

19. West Ham United

• Location: London (Stratford)
• Stadium: London Stadium
• Capacity: 62,500

20. Wolverhampton Wanderers

• Location: Wolverhampton
• Stadium: Molineux Stadium
• Capacity: 31,750

Promoted and Relegated Teams

The 2024-25 Premier League season will feature three newly promoted teams: Leicester City, Ipswich Town, and Southampton. These clubs have earned their place in the top flight through their performances in the EFL Championship.
Leicester City and Southampton will be making their return to the Premier League after a one-year absence, while Ipswich Town will be back in the top flight for the first time in 22 years. Their promotion means that Luton Town, Burnley, and Sheffield United have all been relegated to the EFL Championship after just a single season in the Premier League.
This will be the first time since the 1997-98 season that all three promoted teams have been relegated after just one year in the top flight, and it also marks the first season since 2015-16 that the Premier League will not feature a team from Yorkshire.
The newly promoted clubs will be eager to establish themselves in the Premier League and prove their worth against the more established teams. Fans will be keen to see how they adapt to the demands of the top flight and whether any of them can mount a surprise challenge for a European spot or even a spot in the upper echelons of the table.
Get ready to elevate your sports game with Toziva Sports, the ultimate destination for sports enthusiasts From breaking news to in-depth analysis, our team of experts brings you the most comprehensive coverage of all sports, all in one place. Join a community of like-minded fans, engage in lively debates, and stay ahead of the curve with our exclusive content, polls, quizzes, and contests. Whether you're a die-hard football fan or a tennis enthusiast, Toziva Sports has got you covered. So, what are you waiting for? Dive into the world of sports like never before and discover your new favorite hangout spot - visit Toziva Sports now

hey all! i’m moving real soon and i’ve got this deer head mount with little feet and i was wondering if anybody had resources or could help me figure out how exactly to pack him so he doesn’t get damaged during the transport. the taxidermy was badly done but i love him anyways so any help is appreciated! i don’t have access to a big wooden box unfortunately so that’s out of the picture. what i’m mostly worried about is his fur getting rubbed off by moving things. thank you in advance!

Statement of the International Committee of the Fourth International

1. The International Committee of the Fourth International (ICFI) condemns the latest escalation of the US-NATO war against Russia, which is rapidly spiraling into full-scale war between nuclear-armed states. This is the most reckless decision ever taken by any American government. As for its European allies, their collaboration in this escalation is rivaled in its recklessness only by their catastrophic launching of World War I in 1914 and World War II in 1939. There are no “red lines” that the US ruling class and its imperialist allies will not cross. Even as they politically support and provide weaponry for the Israeli state’s genocide of more than 35,000 Gazans, they are taking actions in Ukraine that could result in a nuclear catastrophe that could destroy all life on the planet. The global capitalist system, whose insoluble global crisis is the underlying cause of genocide and war, is descending into barbarism.
   
2. On Friday, US President Joe Biden secretly authorized Ukraine, without even a public statement explaining the reasons for his actions, to carry out strikes using American long-range weapons on Russian territory near the Ukrainian city of Kharkiv. This was followed immediately by the announcement by Germany that it will do the same. Within 24 hours, Ukraine has already launched strikes on Russia using US-provided weapons. The decision has been taken in response to the military collapse of its Ukrainian proxy force, including in and around Kharkiv.
   
3. The United States, Germany and the United Kingdom have provided Ukraine with cruise and ballistic missiles with ranges of more than 300 miles. When fired from Ukrainian territory, these weapons are capable of hitting some of the largest cities in Russia, including Kursk, Belgorod, Voronezh, Rostov and Volgograd.
   
4. Not since the Nazis’ “War of Annihilation” against the Soviet Union during the Second World War and, in the case of the US, the post-1917 Revolution Civil War, have the imperialist powers directly targeted Russian territory. Such actions were not taken even at the height of the Cold War, as it was assumed that they would trigger full-scale nuclear war.
   
5. The US media is full of declarations that Russia’s publicly stated, official military doctrine of using nuclear weapons to respond to attacks on its territory is a bluff. The argument is that since Russia has not responded to US provocations in the past, NATO can keep crossing Russia’s “red lines” without consequences. “Time to call Putin’s bluff,” declared former Republican Congressman Adam Kinzinger in an article in CNN last week. Retired General Philip Breedlove, former Ambassador Michael McFaul, Stanford Professor Francis Fukuyama and dozens of former US officials wrote in a letter to the White House, “Russia’s demonstrably empty threats are successfully deterring the United States.”
   
6. The claim that Russia’s military doctrine is a “bluff” does not stand up to the most basic scrutiny. Just because the Russian government has not responded to NATO provocations in the past does not mean that it will not do so in the future. Could anyone doubt, for example, that if Russia or China decided to launch attacks on US territory and assert that the American government “wouldn’t dare” to respond, it would be inevitable that the US would counterattack with overwhelming force?
   
7. There are very real reasons, from a military standpoint, why the Russian military would feel compelled to respond in kind to NATO attacks on its territory. Moreover, who is to say that Putin, in the midst of the crisis triggered by the NATO escalation, would not be replaced by a faction that is even more prepared to use military measures to retaliate against NATO?
   
8. Assertions by US officials that the Russian military will not retaliate if attacked are so flimsy that it is likely that these claims are not believed by those making them, and the actual goal is to provoke some form of drastic military action by the Russian government, which will in turn be used to justify a nuclear retaliation by the US.
   
9. In his 2021 book, The Strategy of Denial, Elbridge Colby, author of the 2018 US National Security Strategy, explains how vital it is for US propaganda to force the targets of the US military to “fire the first shot” and thereby be seen as the aggressors:
   

Perhaps the clearest and sometimes the most important way of making sure [an adversary] is seen this way is simply by ensuring that it is the one to strike first. Few human moral intuitions are more deeply rooted than that the one who started it is the aggressor and accordingly the one who presumptively owns a greater share of moral responsibility.

1. The Biden administration has taken this action without even bothering to make a public statement announcing it. The New York Times wrote on May 29: “Officials concede [Biden] most likely will never announce [the move]: Instead, American artillery shells and missiles will just start landing on Russian military targets.” An earlier article in the Times stated that the US had not allowed the strikes because of “Mr. Biden’s mandate to ‘avoid World War III.’ But the consensus around that policy is fraying.” At no point has the Biden administration explained why what is involved in Ukraine is of such monumental significance that it is prepared to risk a potentially civilization-ending nuclear war.
   
2. The NATO powers are playing Russian roulette with nuclear weapons. They are plunging headlong into war, without even suggesting the possibility of a negotiated settlement or an “off-ramp” to their brinkmanship.
   
3. The latest actions follow a definite pattern. Again and again, the Biden administration has crossed every “red line” it set out to limit US involvement in the war. In March 2022, Biden asserted, “The idea that we’re going to send in offensive equipment and have planes and tanks and trains going in with American pilots and American crews” would mean “World War Three.” In May 2022, Biden stated in an op-ed in the New York Times, “We are not encouraging or enabling Ukraine to strike beyond its borders.” In June 2022, French President Emmanuel Macron declared, “We will not go to war with Russia, therefore it was agreed not to supply certain weapons—in particular, attack aircraft or tanks.”
   
4. All of these “red lines” have been crossed by NATO. First, NATO sent armored vehicles, then main battle tanks, and then long-range missiles. NATO members then secretly deployed hundreds of troops inside Ukraine, all without informing their own citizens. After having declared that direct US involvement in the war in Ukraine would lead to “World War III” and “Armageddon,” Biden appears to have changed his mind, without ever having explained what led him to do so.
   
5. There is no question that the next step in the intensification of the war against Russia will be the introduction of tens of thousands of NATO forces into Ukraine. This further escalation will certainly be the subject of secret discussions at the upcoming NATO summit in Washington, D.C. in July. Snap elections in the UK have been called for July 4, in advance of the summit, to preempt growing opposition to war and create the political framework for a new stage in a European-wide war.
   
6. The escalation of the war in Ukraine, spearheaded by the Biden administration, is the most extreme manifestation of the decades-long global eruption of US imperialism in the aftermath of the dissolution of the Soviet Union. In pursuit of their interests, the ruling elites are prepared to accept death and destruction on a massive scale. The same governments are funding, arming and politically supporting the Gaza genocide, which has already killed tens of thousands and is subjecting an entire population of over 2 million to starvation.
   
7. The subjugation of Russia is part of a broader global agenda aiming for not only the carve-up and subjugation of the former Soviet Union but ultimately China. The punitive sanctions that were meant to cripple Russia economically have failed to bring it to its knees largely because of large increases in trade with China and to a lesser extent arms from Iran and North Korea. The escalation against Russia therefore will entail a morphing of the conflict in Ukraine into a truly global war.
   
8. In addition to the geopolitical imperatives of imperialism, the Biden administration is driven by a far-reaching social, economic and political crisis for which the American ruling class has no answer. The US economy is sustained through rampant government spending on military rearmament and continuous bailouts of major corporations. The federal debt is doubling every decade and is being financed through currency debasement and debt monetization.
   
9. This is taking place in the context of a staggering political crisis and factional warfare in advance of the 2024 presidential elections. Donald Trump, the presumptive candidate for the Republican Party who is currently leading in polls, attempted to overturn the election in a fascistic coup three and a half years ago. There is broad popular opposition to both capitalist parties, amidst a deep social crisis and growing anger and outrage over the US-backing of Israel’s genocide in Gaza.
   
10. Similar conditions prevail in all the major capitalist countries. The ruling elites hope that war abroad will create conditions for the suppression of democratic rights in the name of war-time “national unity”. This atmosphere of crisis is breeding the resurgence of vile militarism and a type of internal violence that was previously associated only with fascistic regimes and military-police dictatorships.
    
11. For its part, the Putin regime has made miscalculation after miscalculation. There has never been anything remotely progressive in the “Special Military Operation” launched by the Kremlin in the interests of the venal Russian capitalist oligarchs who rose to power on the basis of the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991 and the privatization and plundering of the state assets nationalized in the aftermath of the 1917 October Revolution.
    
12. Putin launched the reactionary invasion of Ukraine in 2022 hoping to negotiate with his Western “partners” from a position of strength. But NATO has shown that it is completely uninterested in negotiation: The only outcome of the war acceptable to NATO is the military defeat of Russia and the carve-up of the Russian landmass in the manner of Yugoslavia. Based on its bankrupt nationalist perspective, the Putin government and the faction of the Russian oligarchy it represents are driven to ever more reckless and provocative military escalation of its own.
    
13. The global escalation of imperialist war is coupled with mass repression. In the United States, the government has criminalized protests against the Gaza genocide and carried out mass arrests of thousands of students and young people. The violence inflicted on the protests reflects the fear of the ruling elites of a broader movement in the working class, which will be forced to pay for the war in lives and the destruction of social programs.
    
14. In Ukraine, amid mounting opposition to the war and resistance to the draft, the Zelensky government has arrested the Ukrainian socialist Bogdan Syrotiuk on fraudulent charges of serving the interests of Russia. In fact, Bogdan is an intransigent opponent of the capitalist Putin regime and its invasion of Ukraine. The arrest of Bogdan reveals the extreme nervousness within the Zelensky regime and its NATO allies that opposition to the war is finding a growing response within the Ukrainian working class.
    
15. Ten years ago, in its statement, “Socialism and the Fight Against Imperialist War,” the ICFI warned:
    

1. The past decade has confirmed this warning. Amidst the escalating open US-NATO war against Russia and the developing conflict with China, it is impossible to see world war as an exceptional event, but rather the expression of the basic driving forces of capitalism.
   
2. The same contradictions driving imperialism to the brink of nuclear war provide the objective basis for social revolution. The international working class is a massive social force, whose interests collide with capitalist exploitation and imperialist barbarism. The conspiratorial character of imperialist war planning reflects the fact that the ruling class itself is well aware that its policies do not have mass support.
   
3. Despite mass protests against the Gaza genocide, broader sections of the population are unaware of the rapidly escalating war with Russia. The ruling elites and their political affiliates, including the apparatus of the trade unions, are engaged in a systematic effort to prevent workers from understanding the gravity of the danger while subordinating the working class to imperialist war policy.
   
4. There is only one way that the spiral toward disaster can be avoided, and that is through the intervention of the working class to force an end to this war. This demand must be combined with a struggle to end Israel’s genocidal onslaught against Gaza. Workers must demand the immediate withdrawal of all US and NATO forces and weapons from Ukraine. It must likewise refuse all support for the reactionary nationalist policies of the Putin regime, which in no way represents a progressive alternative to the war policies of the imperialist powers.
   
5. The working class must use its power to stop this war, which is plummeting toward disaster. The mobilization of this power requires overcoming the gap between the advanced stage of the global political crisis and the present level of mass political consciousness. This solving of this historic problem requires the development of a Marxist-Trotskyist leadership and the revolutionary renewal of the international workers’ movement on the basis of socialist policies.
   
6. The International Committee of the Fourth International calls for the unity of workers in Russia, Ukraine, and all of the former Soviet Union with their brothers and sisters in Europe, Asia, and America in opposition to the capitalist system that is the root cause of war. The only way out of the unfolding disaster is though the struggle against capitalism and the victory of world socialist revolution.
   

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Justin, Topher
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Jasmine, MK, Ripper
Episode 16: Dial M for Merger
"Last time, on Total Drama Action! It was a festival of guts, determination, and sweat, as yours truly put our contestants through their sports movie paces!"
"And despite Anne Maria's cheerleading skills, the Grips lost the challenge. Lucky for her, it was Millie who was sent packing, but not before giving a goodbye and warning to her boyfriend."
"But there's no time to think about our coifs today," Chris continued in his control room before pressing a button on his keyboard, causing the three monitor feeds to switch to a half-closed iris view, "'cause today, we're gonna make the best spy movie ever!"
The scene flashed to a close-up of one of the monitors, and Chris walked through the iris' white space in his baby blue tuxedo. "And we might have a few sneaky surprises along the way," he said as the iris followed him to a classic spy-movie tune. He threw a tomato through the iris at the camera and it splattered; the pulpy remains slid down as a transition to the host standing back by the cast trailers. "Right here, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
The episode opened on a close-up of a fly as it buzzed down through the sky to a plate of sandwiches being carried towards the common area in front of the trailers by Topher of all people. "Hey, everyone! Look what I brought!" he said with a cheery tone and wide smile, waving to the Gaffers who were seated on one of the benches around the central fire pit.
Chase and Jasmine shared a confused look as the camera briefly lingered on the four, while MK and Ripper merely stared dully at the passing dirty blond. The shot cut over to Anne Maria and Justin on opposite ends of the other bench, the former filing her nails while the latter looked at his reflection in his mirror with a smile.
“Do any of you want a sandwich?" Topher asked the others. "We may be in a game, but we can take advantage of our down time." He sat down in between his teammates and started to eat a sandwich, his teammates ignoring him.
Confessional: MK
“Topher of all people is not caring only about himself for once?" MK asked the confessional camera in an incredulous tone while crossing her arms. "There has to be a reason, and I know it's not going to be non-ugly."
Confessional Ends
"Thanks, honey, but I'm not in the mood right now," Anne Maria said with a hint of sadness.
"Is something the matter, Anne Maria?" Topher asked, leaning closer to the tanned girl.
"It's nothing for you to worry about," Anne Maria replied, standing up and walking back towards the girls' trailer.
Confessional: Anne Maria
“I can't believe that Justin used his looks in order to sway my vote away from him and onto Millie,” Anne Maria groaned. “I'm normally stronger than that, and I was just starting to consider Millie as pretty cool after seeing her go all out in the challenges. I really underestimated her a lot before and during this season.”
Confessional Ends
Anne Maria turned the handle, and quickly realized the door wasn't budging. "Looks like Chris McDodo locked the doors again," she deadpanned just before a small, camera-like device suddenly descended from the canopy above the door to a dramatic piece of background music reminiscent of spy movie intrigue.
It scanned the hair-obsessed girl's eyes, then in a robotic voice declared "Intruder alert! Entry denied!" Before Anne Maria could react, the steps leading up to the door collapsed into a slide that sent her falling back into a pit that suddenly opened up in the ground.
"Anne Maria!!" Topher dashed over and looked down into the pit from above. Out of nowhere, a small purple-fletched dart hit him in the neck; his eyes immediately drooped and he moaned, then fell forward into the pit.
MK laughed as she walked over to the pit. "I can't believe you two got punked like that!” As she grinned mockingly down at them, a black bowler hat spun through the air in the foreground. The camera followed it as it circled around, eventually hitting MK in the back of the head and knocking her into the pit as well.
The other four gasped. "Run for cover!" Jasmine cried as she, Chase, and Justin ran into the boys' trailer and slammed the door shut. Ripper tried to open it to get in, but the door was locked.
"Hey!" Ripper yelled as he pounded the door. "Let me in!"
"What is even going on?!" Chase cried from inside the trailer.
Confessional: Ripper
"I knew the producers were jerks, but I never thought that they'd have the guts to try and murder us," Ripper angrily whined. "They better hope that I don't make it out alive, cause I will-" he was interrupted by a white hand clubbing him on the back of the head and knocking him out.
Confessional Ends
"Hey, where's Ripper?" Justin looked around as the camera cut back to the inside of the trailer, Jasmine firmly holding the door shut and Chase sitting on a bunk bed.
"He obviously got taken along with Anne Maria, Topher, and MK," Chase said. "Right now is a good time to be selfish and only worry about ourselves!"
"I'm just lucky that I have my calming beauty and soothing complexion," Justin said.
"There is no way that this is happening to us!" Jasmine growled, only to be cut off by a small canister being thrown in the room and filling the air with a purple gas. The three teens coughed a bit before passing out.
The numbered studios were shown briefly, the camera panning up to the fake hill and the sky before cutting to what looked like the inside of a cave with numerous stagelights set up on the ceiling and floor.
The camera panned down to the seven contestants lying in a heap on the ground and groaning as they regained consciousness. Anne Maria, Topher, and MK were tangled together on the far left; Ripper and Jasmine laid apart in the center; and Chase was on top of Justin on the right.
Chase tries to get up, but he accidentally whacked his elbow on Justin's eye, making the model yelp in pain.
"My eye! My beautiful, uninsured eye!!" Justin got up to feel his now swollen left eye.
"Sorry. Are you okay?" Chase checked with concern.
“I bruise easier than a clingstone peach! Must prevent swelling, I need ice!” Justin started to run around. “Ice?!” He paused in order to take out his mirror and look at his face, and he began to cry. “I am a hideous beast!” the hot teen griped and got on his knees. “Nobody will ever hire me now and my modeling career is over! I'll have to go work in the circus as a... as one of those... circus freaks!”
The camera cut over to Anne Maria, who was walking around. "Where's my nail filer?" she demanded. “I think I scraped one of my fingernails.”
“Here you go,” MK got up and handed Anne Maria the nail filer. “One of my fingers is broken, but you don't see me crying for a bandage.”
The viewpoint moved over the shoulders of the regrouped teens as the dramatic spy theme started up again and a holographic image was projected in front of them courtesy of a machine in the cave wall. It quickly formed a scene of Chris McLean sitting in his control tent and laughing evilly, with a patch over his left eye and a short-haired white cat getting stroked in his lap. Justin and Jasmine gaped as they looked up at it, as did Anne Maria and Chase.
"Wel-kom, to ze cloak an dag-gehr, world ov Spy Moveez, mon and wom-mon!" Chris told them in an utterly indeterminate accent.
"Can you repeat that?" Anne Maria barked. "We can't understand you over that bad Jamaican accent!"
"Jamaican?!" Chase exclaimed. "That was Japanese!"
"No, it was Swedish!" Topher corrected as the camera focused on Chris getting increasingly annoyed.
"French!" MK guessed.
"It almost sounded Italian to me," Ripper said.
"Umm, hellooo?" Chris interrupted in his normal voice. "It's Russian? And I should know. Because I am an ac-tor!"
"Really?" Anne Maria doubted him with a smirk.
"Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills," Chris continued, ignoring the comment. "One, the ability to deactivate a bomb." The top-left quarter of the screen changed to a picture of wirecutters preparing to snip the wire of a bundle of dynamite sticks.
"Two, the ability to escape an exploding building." He ducked down into the bottom-left corner as the bottom-right corner became a picture of a figure jumping down from an explosion at the top of a skyscraper.
"And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language," he said as he returned to the top-right corner and the bottom-left became no more than a standard portrait of himself. "Likea my fab Russian ac-cent, mon!" he said in the mangled accent he'd used earlier.
Chase rolled his eyes and Anne Maria pursed her lips in annoyance, while Justin, Jasmine, and Ripper just stared up at him blankly. "You'll need two of the three skills to get through today's reward challenges," Chris told them all in his normal voice. "Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint!" He switched to his awful Russian accent and said "Not da tird one, mahn!" He began to laugh evilly again, and the castmates turned to each other.
"Does anybody know anything about bombs here?" Topher asked the contestants.
“You're looking at a chem queen here!” MK gloated.
Confessional: MK
"We've had different movie genres used as themes each time," MK confessed, "and most of them required the use of athleticism. I'd prefer having challenges I can easily excel at instead of ones like the sports fiasco."
Confessional Ends
"Well, we know who's so eager to handle our bomb," Ripper told his teammates with a look towards MK.
“Hey, I wasn't particularly volunteering,” MK objected.
"We'll be supporting you though," Jasmine told the techno girl with a smile and a hand on her shoulder.
"Oh," Chris interrupted on the holographic screen, "and one last thing! Since I'm really ho-hum bored of the teams, I'm bustin' 'em up! From now on," he told the castmates as they watched in stunned silence, "it's every dude and dude-ette for themselves! I'll see you back on solid ground. Let the double-oh-sevening...begin!" Just before the holographic projection ceased, the white cat the host had been petting turned and attacked him.
"Well, regardless of what Chris said," Jasmine told Chase, MK, and Ripper, "I see no reason for us to break up. Alliance?"
She put her hand forward, and it was soon joined by Chase. “Sure thing!” he agreed and the two looked over at Ripper and MK, who shared a brief glare at each other before putting their hands in as well.
"Yeah, we're in," Ripper said, disgruntled.
"It feels strange being broken up," Anne Maria said out loud. "Especially after everything we've been through."
[A pop tune began to play as the scene showed seven rows of silhouette contestants blinking one-by-one before showing them all at once. From left to right were Topher, MK, Chase, Jasmine, Justin, Anne Maria, and Ripper.]
"Life begins after school."
[MK was playing on a handheld keyboard as Justin put an arm around her shoulder and snapped his fingers.]
"That's when we bend all the rules."
[The hands of Anne Maria, Chase, and Ripper also snapped their fingers. Soon, a five-way collage of Ripper on the top left, Topher on the bottom left, Anne Maria on the top right, Chase on the bottom right, and Jasmine in the middle presented itself as the five smiled at each other.]
"In a place where we belong!"
[The seven contestants were lying on the ground holding hands with each other while the camera zoomed out to show them surrounded by their trailer set.]
"I'm sixteen! Starting to find my way!"
[A yellow background was shown with the contestants smiling at the camera. From right to left were Jasmine, Anne Maria, Chase, Topher, MK, Justin, and Ripper.]
"Got a new job, gonna start at the mall today!"
[Pictures of the seven displayed. The top row had Anne Maria, Topher, Justin, and Jasmine, and the bottom row had Chase, Ripper, and MK. The song ended with the cast throwing scraps in the air as the camera zoomed out to show the entire set.]
"How do we get out of here?" Chase asked after the montage ended, looking around the room with his teammates-turned-allies.
"It's likely some kind of secret passage," MK said. "We should try bumping into random things. One of them's probably a switch."
All seven were shown searching the cavern for a few more seconds, until Justin rested on a particularly seat-like stalagmite which turned out to not be a stalagmite at all, but merely a large switch in the shape of one. He nearly lost his balance and fell over as a part of the nearby wall slid away, but he stopped herself in time. "Over here!" he called to the others.
“Way to go, Justin!” Topher congratulated him.
“Good eye!” Jasmine added in as well before they all headed for the exit.
Confessional: Justin
“Now that I'm a hideously deformed circus freak, I have to rely on my brains to win this thing,” Justin confessed before looking up at his head. “You hear me, brain? Yeah! I'm speaking to you!”
Confessional Ends
Justin joined the others in the elevator that had been revealed in the wall, and the doors slid shut with a ding.
A dinging sound characteristic of an elevator stopping at multiple floors accompanied a rising shot of what appeared, on the outside, to be a large water tower. The scene cut inside, revealing a large and mostly-empty circular room that was lined with carved stone columns. In the very center was a pedestal with a tall glass dome enclosing a bag of something or other, and illuminated from below.
Another ding sounded as the castmates walked into the room, Ripper and MK taking the lead followed by the rest in the back.
"Cool!" Ripper said with an awestruck smile.
"Awesome!" MK echoed with a smile of her own.
"This is like some kind of museum!" Jasmine added.
The viewpoint shifted behind the seven as they came to a halt and another hologram of Chris – back in his usual clothes and covered in faint scratch marks – was projected in front of them. "Don't I look awesome in blue?" he said idly to his uninterested audience. "Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See that case in the middle of the room?" He pointed to the glass-covered pedestal, and the camera cut in for a close-up of it. "You have to get whatever's inside, 'cause you're gonna need it for part two of the challenge!"
"An easy smash and grab?" Ripper smirked as he walked forward. "Just my cup of tea!"
As he walked cockily past one of the pillars, a small panel slid open in it and a laser popped out, the beam quickly reflecting off a number of mirrors mounted around the room. The host cleared his throat just as a beam shot over Ripper's shoulder causing the boy to yelp and recoil away from it, and Chris said "I need to finish! You gotta get whatever's inside without setting off the alarm. But be careful. Those lasers will cut you clear in half!"
"I'm a lot better whole!" Chase said in shock.
“Fitting under there is gonna be tough for my weight,” Ripper warily approached the laser field.
"But for me, it's no problem," MK told him.
"Brain, got any ideas?" Justin spoke to himself.
"I think I can handle this," Jasmine said as she crouched down and pounced through a gap in front of her, rolling back on her feet without getting hit once. "I'm not gonna be a singed turkey today!" she said with a confident smirk.
The footage skipped forward to Jasmine doing an awkward headstand in the middle of the laser field, her legs bent at two awkward angles as she wobbled in place, trying to keep herself from falling over.
"In retrospect, I should have done something else!" she exclaimed just before the camera pulled back a little to show Chase slinking through the lasers nearby.
"My athletic skills are really coming through for this!" Chase said, only to yelp after accidentally touching one of the beams with his fingertips. "I also need to improve on my concentration skills."
The shot cut over to Topher and Anne Maria, the latter quickly ducking through the lasers with ease while the former struggled to maneuver his muscular upper body low enough to pass under the next beam. "Agh!" he cried in pain as his back got singed, and he looked up to see Anne Maria standing in front of him with a small smile on her face.
"Would you like some help, Topher?" she asked.
"Obviously!" Topher answered, singeing his shoulder when he tried to move it.
Another cut put the focus on MK as she maneuvered the field with a confident smile on her face. From a crouching position, she jumped up and over the next laser between her and the case, tucking her legs and rolling in mid-air before landing on both feet. "This is actually kind of fun!"
Meanwhile, Ripper was now in a tangled position as he tried to move through the lasers. “Couldn't the lasers have been more spread apart?!” he said.
The camera cut over to Justin, who had yet to enter the laser field and was holding his mirror. “Okay, brain, it's all up to you. I know you haven't had a lot of exercise in the past, um... sixteen years, give or take, but you can do this.”
He started making his way towards the lasers, only to slip and slide towards one of the beams below him. Justin used his mirror to shield his face, and in return, reflected the beam backwards. “Mirror mirror in my hand, who is the smartest one of all?” the eye candy chanted after the discovery.
The focus moved back to Chase as he slipped down under another low beam, and the shot briefly cut to an overhead view of the room, showing that he and MK were the closest to the central case, followed by the still-upside-down Jasmine, Anne Maria and Topher, and Justin and Ripper still close to the edge of the lasers.
"How do you feel knowing that us four are gonna dominate the other three in the votes from here on out?" MK said to the daredevil.
"Pretty good. Our chances of winning are secured, but I have some doubts about it," Chase responded without taking his eyes off the lasers in front of him.
MK paused in her tracks, and gave Chase a look of suspicion. "What do you mean you have doubts? You were the first to agree with Jasmine's proposal."
Chase got himself between two lasers safely. "It's just that you and me don't really get along that much. You'll likely betray me, Ripper, or Jasmine if it means it'll benefit you."
MK started to step over another laser, which just about finished closing the gap between her and Chase. “I only betrayed Scott, and he was a threat last season. I'm not gonna do the same to you guys.”
Confessional: MK
"I'm bluffing," MK told the confessional camera. "There's no way I'm not gonna drop one of my alliance members when the game is nearly over. Millie being gone is a blessing. If she was still here, she'd convince Chase to gun for me."
Confessional Ends
"Just a little more," Anne Maria said softly as she guided Topher's leg over a laser with one hand and held onto him with the other. "There!" she smiled once the leg was temporarily out of harm's way again.
"Thanks!" Topher smiled at her before turning a troubled look towards the case. "But I don't think we're going to get to the case first."
"Yeah," Anne Maria said while looking in the same direction, "but we should at least try. We're not last season's quitters anymore!" She quickly ducked under the next laser, then took him by the hand and started to guide him forward as well.
“Uh, pros and cons of life as a circus freak,” Justin wondered to himself, still in the same position. “Pro, travel. Con... the bearded chick.”
The scene moved back to Chase, who was now ducking and sliding closer and closer to the case until he was out of harm's way. “I made it first!!” he whooped before giving the case a blank stare. "So, what do I do now?"
"Just grab something and smash it open!" Ripper called, having gotten further ahead but was still lagging behind.
"That's not an entirely good idea," Jasmine told him, her legs ready to be rested. "It's possible that Chris gave the case more than one layer of protection!"
"I'm pretty sure the only protection this has is the glass," Chase said as he looked at the case, then bent down to examine the pedestal it was on. "What exactly am I supposed to smash it with?"
"Just punch it with your hands or better yet, headbutt it," Ripper suggested as he wobbled on his hands.
"Actually," Chase replied, turning his head back towards him and grinning, "I think I have an idea."
He took a few steps back and jumped into the air in order to karate kick the case heavily with his foot. There was no effect at first, but once he landed back down, the glass shattered into countless pieces.
Almost immediately, the lasers began to turn off. “Splendid!" Jasmine smiled as the beams around her retreated, the machines creating them retracting into the columns around the room, prompting her to fall on her back.
Confessional: Ripper
"About time those lasers went off," Ripper confessed, "One of my brothers pressed his hands on my dad's iron one snowy day because he stuck his hands in snow and wanted to warm them up!” He laughed briefly at the memory. “That's why I didn't run through the lasers. I didn't want a third degree burn like my brother.”
Confessional Ends
"Umm, what am I supposed to do with a weird gun and wire cutters?" Chase asked as he pulled the tool and a grappling gun out of the sack and the others walked over to him.
"They're meant to help escape a building that's about to explode," Anne Maria told him.
At that instant, the room was tinted red as Chris' hologram reappeared. "The room blows in ten!" he announced with an evil grin as an appropriately dangerous tune began to play in the background and the castmates screamed. The camera focused on a small timer in the corner of the projection, which counted down along with the host. "Nine! Eight!”
(Commercial Break)
The episode returned to a repeat of Chase discovering the tools and Anne Maria describing what they were meant for just as Chris' hologram reappeared.
"The room blows in ten!" Chris counted down as the castmates screamed. "Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five!"
"I don't want to die!" Topher cried as he grabbed Anne Maria and held her tight.
"That makes both of us!" Anne Maria cried and embraced him back.
"There's no time to escape!" Ripper shrieked in panic and hugged Justin without thinking.
"Where's the exit?!" Chase shouted with frantic fear as he and Jasmine looked around the room.
“I'm too cool to be killed!” MK stood in the middle of them all, eyes clenched tight.
"Three! Two! One!" Each group of castmates was shown again in quick succession. "PBBBT! SUCKERS!" A raspberry and laughing exclamation ended the countdown, and the red light faded from the room. "You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!"
All seven glared up at him, but the camera focused on Topher and Anne Maria as they looked back at each other and separated.
Confessional: Anne Maria
"Even though he only did it because he thought we were about to die, I… kinda enjoy hugging Topher at that moment." Anne Maria admitted. "I don't let anybody touch my hair, tan, and everywhere, but I'll make an exception for Topher. He's a pretty good hugger."
Confessional Ends
"You'll need the zipwire gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge," Chris told the cast. "Whether Chase, our little cat burglar, chooses to share the tools with the tools," he said as Chase was shown looking at the two items he'd won, "is totally up to him. Oh! And by the way! The first countdown was just a test! The real countdown begins, now!"
The room was bathed in red light again and the timer appeared in the corner of the projected screen as the grinning host began to count. "Thirty! Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight!"
"We really are gonna die!" Topher shrieked.
"But we can't be!" Ripper exclaimed. "What's to say that Chris isn't faking us out again?"
The camera quick-panned down and outside to the base of the tower, where a large number of bombs, mines, and fireworks were planted.
It cut back inside as Jasmine spoke up. "Well I am not going to risk my life against Chris's whims. We need to set up the zip line now."
The shot moved to MK as she walked over to the wall and pushed against one of the panels – it swung out into the open air with little resistance. “Come over and check this out!” she waved the others over.
Jasmine looked out through the hole. "Just what we needed," she said. "If we can secure one end of the line to a building, and the other to this pillar," she pointed at the nearby column, "then we can escape."
Confessional: MK
“I'm aware that Chase has the gun to save our lives, and knowing him, he'll definitely save our lives without asking for anything in return,” MK theorized. “I'm not saying that I'd be heartless enough to let my competition die unless I was given something like a cut of the money, but I would save everybody first and then ask for something small like a share of today's reward.”
Confessional Ends
Chase started to walk towards the opening. "Is anybody gonna come with me or not?" he asked.
"You're not going to ask for anything in return?" MK asked.
"Why would I?" Chase responded. "If this is not another fake-out, then I am definitely not letting either of you die."
The shot cut over to a close-up of the time as it ticked down to 16, 15, 14 before moving back to the castmates. "This is unsurprisingly selfless and noble of you!" Ripper said dryly.
"Hey, it's what I do," Chase said, and the footage was paused.
Chris stepped in front of the screen and said "I knew there was a good reason for Chase to be in this season. He's as reckless as he is nice!" He stepped back out of sight, and the footage unpaused.
The daredevil started to glare, and the timer was shown counting down to 11 and 10. "The clock's ticking," he reminded the others. "Are you in, or not?"
“We're in!” Topher agreed. “I am too young to die!”
“Great!” Chase then pointed the zipwire gun at the hole in the wall and fired. The view moved outside as the grappling hook flew out of the tower, bounced a few times off the roof of a nearby building, and was reeled back in until it got hooked on a vent.
Back inside, Chase was tying the other end of the line around a nearby column when MK spoke up. "How are we all gonna fit with just one line?"
"Leave that to me," Jasmine said. She removed her belt, slung it over the line, then positioned herself in front of the opening. "Hop on, everyone!"
The beeping continued as the shot moved back outside, focusing on the belt first as it slid down the line before zooming out to show the screaming contestants – Jasmine holding onto the belt, Ripper and Topher holding onto her, Anne Maria with her arms around Topher's neck, Ripper having MK on his back and Chase on his leg, and Justin with his arms around Chase's chest.
They landed on the other roof, with Justin skidding along for a bit, MK flipping forward onto her back shortly before Topher landed with Anne Maria on top on him, Ripper landing on his butt, and Chase flying past the screen with a scream before Jasmine face-planted.
"It's gonna blow!" Ripper cried as he squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. The shot cut over to the explosives at the base of the tower as the lone fuse burned the last few inches...and fizzled.
"Crimney! We've been had again!" Jasmine exclaimed as she got up and put her belt back on.
"Chris is just downright awful," Chase grumbled.
"As if we have the budget to blow up an entire building!" Chris explained, the camera panning across the roof to reveal him at the end leaning against some tarp-covered object. "I was just playing with ya! Again. Because I can," he grinned.
"Some of us almost wet ourselves!" Topher said angrily.
"Right. Some of us did," Ripper said, immediately covering his wet spot on his shorts.
"Okay, kiddies!" Chris announced. "Time for your next super-spook challenge!" He grabbed the tarp and yanked it away, revealing a series of identical-looking oil drums with LCD timers strapped and wired onto the side. "In front of you, you will see seven bombs," he told them as he walked in front of the seven drums. "You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge – the wire cutters. Oh, wait!" the host frowned playfully. "Wasn't Chase the only one who got the wire cutters?"
“Locked and loaded!” Chase smiled at the tool in his hand.
Chris laughed. "Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cuttin' the wires," he said with a jovial shrug. "Sucks to be you! Any questions?"
"Will you be giving us the bomb schematics?" MK asked.
"Is this another fake out?" Justin raised his hand.
"Is this something we can actually do, or are these gonna blow up no matter which wire we cut?" Jasmine asked bluntly and forcefully.
"Cool," Chris said with a grin. "If there are no questions, then what are we waiting for?" He walked a couple feet away, then paused and turned back. "Oh yeah! One more thing! Those barrels are filled with the most stinky, the most noxious substances known to humankind! Yeah, that's right. We're talking major stink bomb."
"Worse than a perfume spill?" Anne Maria asked.
"Yes," Chris replied simply. "Yes it is. Yo, Chef!" he called off to the side.
The large man rose up to the roof on a scissor lift wearing a tennis outfit. "Why can't you handle this?" Chef told the host while walking over to the bombs. "I'm busy!" He flipped a switch next to the first barrel from the right, then walked back.
A quick series of high-pitched beeps signaled the bombs' activation, and the camera zoomed in on the timer – now counting down from 3:00. Chris got on to the scissor lift with Chef, and they started to descend. "Good luck," the host told the castmates, "'cause this time, you're really gonna need it."
The contestants took positions behind each of the bombs, with Chase and Anne Maria taking the pair on the far right. "Okay, looks like we got blue, yellow, and red wires," the Jersey girl mused as she looked over the bomb.
Next to her, Chase was quietly inspecting his bomb with the wire cutters held tentatively above. The camera short-panned to the left to show Ripper, MK, and Jasmine at the next three bombs.
"Didn't you say you had an IQ of 170?" Ripper asked the girl next to him.
“That doesn't mean that I can't stop the bomb with my mind!" MK shot back.
“This alliance is definitely going to need more spirit,” Jasmine mumbled.
The camera panned over to Topher and Justin. “Defusing stink bombs is not something that I want to do as a job,” Topher said to himself.
“Okay, brain. Now's the time to bring it,” Justin said. “Eenie, meenie, miny, mo. Ooh! Or is it miny, meenie, eenie, mo? Brain, don't be messing with me now!”
"Okay, so which one am I supposed to cut?" Chase wondered.
"One that doesn't cause your stink bomb to explode," MK told him dryly.
"I know that," Chase said, "but how are we supposed to guess which one it is?"
"Just use luck," MK muttered.
"Isn't it the red wire they always cut in the movies?" Ripper wondered aloud as the camera short-panned back to him. "Or is that the one you're not supposed to cut? Think, Ripper, think!"
Topher sighed as the timer ticked down past 2:00. "We should just guess randomly!" He grabbed the red wire and began to snap it on his knee. It broke in seconds, and the timer attached to it stopped counting down.
"Hey! It worked!" Jasmine cheered. "Nice job, Topher!"
"Yeah!" MK spat. "He won the challenge."
"Hold off on the celebrations!!" Chase shouted. "The rest of us still have to defuse the bombs and we've only got fifty-three seconds!"
"Got it," Jasmine said seriously. She tore the red wire with her bare hands.
MK took a bite out of her wire and spit it out. “Done!”
Ripper ripped his wire apart forcefully. “Done!”
Justin used the sun's ray through his mirror to melt his wire. “Done!”
Anne Maria filed her wire with her nail filer until it was cut through. “Done!”
And Chase used his wire cutters on his wire. “Done!”
"We did it!" Topher cheered.
"This alliance is working wonders already!" Jasmine said.
“Brain, this just might be the start of a beautiful friendship,” Justin smiled.
Anne Maria frowned. "If we cut the wires, then where is that beepin' comin' from?" She looked down to see that her and a couple other bombs were still ticking.
“This can't be real!” Chase panicked.
“Brain, we are so over!” Justin scolded his brain.
“This is not going to be good!” Ripper braced himself.
The view cut to some nondescript hillside where an explosion could be seen in the distance. The cast could all be heard complaining about the smell and coughing.
The camera panned down and to the left, showing Chris sitting casually by some film equipment, sipping a cup of coffee. "What?" he asked the camera, setting his cup down on the saucer in his hand. "Obviously we're not gonna wire each bomb exactly the same way," he explained to the camera in a put-upon tone. "That would be way too easy for our production crew! And no fun for me!" He leaned back in his chair and laughed.
A chipmunk was shown perched in a tree, looking down as the colorful stench of something below wafted up to it. It took a single sniff, then fell from its branch, bounced off the roof of the girls' trailer, and fell into a large pool of something red where the contestants were sitting amidst a fog of foul odor.
Chef appeared at the side of the pool, a gas mask on his face as he poured a large tomato-labeled can in. The shot pulled out, showing that all the contestants save Justin were in the pool.
"Well this absolutely blows," Ripper grumbled as Chef emptied his can and walked off-screen.
"I'd rather have gotten our suffering over with and ripped apart all the wires if we had known that they weren't all the same," MK added.
“At least the tomato soup is good for the skin,” Jasmine spoke up. “The Vitamin C in them boosts collagen and provides skin texture, firmness, and tone.”
Just then, Justin came up for air with his mirror. "Agh, with this hideous facial deformity, I'll need all the help I can get, sister."
"Glad you like it," Chef said as he came back and tossed a handful of bendy straws into the pool, "'cause it's also dinner." He chuckled darkly and walked away, and the castmates hesitantly picked up the straws as they floated by.
Topher stuck his tongue out in disgust, then forced a smile. "As disgusting as this is, we're all in this together."
"Hey Toph, what was with that goody-goody act earlier today?" Ripper shot at him.
"Yeah!" MK chimed in. "Were you trying to gain something from us or what?!"
"I just wanted to show you all that I wasn't a bad guy," Topher answered. "I did just join halfway in the game, and I knew that all of you would distrust me."
"You were eliminated first last season because you didn't contribute much to the team," Jasmine told him. “And you gave off a bad impression.”
“Yeah, but people can change,” Topher said.
The shot pulled back to show Chris approaching in a gas mask of his own. "Is everybody having fun yet?" he asked mischievously. "Chase and Topher, as the winners of the first and second challenges, you get the reward! An all-expense paid trip to..."
"Jamaica?" Topher asked excitedly. "London? China?"
"How about Hollywood?" Chase added with a smile of his own. “The number of stunts you can do there are one in a million.”
"Good guesses, but no," Chris answered with a smile. "It's an all-expense paid trip to...a local cheese factory!"
“Cheese factory?” Chase repeated in confusion.
"While on tour," Chris continued, "you'll get to sample all the cheeses of the world! From blue cheese, to green cheese, to head cheese, which isn't technically a cheese, but reeks just the same!"
“You gotta bring me back some gouda if you can," Anne Maria said, putting her hand on Topher's shoulder. "I love me some of that."
"I'd also like some fancy cheese too!" Ripper said as well.
"Fine," Topher said. "We'll get you all something."
"Hey Chris, how long do we have to remain in this pool until the stink wears off?" MK asked the host.
"Oh, I'd say another twelve hours should do," Chris told her as he walked away.
“Better make good use of our time,” Jasmine shrugged and sunk into the soup.
"The teams are no more," Chris told the camera after the scene flashed forward and he took off his gas mask. "Let's see how these stinkers do on their own next time on Total! Drama! Action!"
Just as the scene began to fade, the white cat he'd been stroking earlier attacked his face again.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene showed the limousine of losers, the scenery out the partially-open window indicating that it was still daytime. Topher was sitting next to it on the far left, and Chase was sitting on the far right, and neither were looking at each other.
This continued for several awkward seconds until Topher finally turned his head and asked "So what's up with your agility prowess?"
“Oh, I, uh, took a gymnastics class and learned some moves in order to prep myself up as a daredevil,” Chase replied awkwardly and fell silent for a few seconds. “What about you? What hobbies do you have?
“Um, I'm interested in photography and hair designing,” Topher answered. “I know how to make normal hair stylish and I'm one of the student managers of the yearbook club.”
Silence filled the limo for several more seconds. "You know, we should just stay silent for the rest of the trip," Chase said.
"Yeah. That's something we can agree on," Topher said as well.
Eva - 15th
Geoff - 15th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 13th
Sky - 12th
Brick - 11th
Scott - 10th
Izzy - 9th
Millie - 8th
Boys: Chase, Justin, Ripper, Topher
Girls: Anne Maria, Jasmine, MK

Date: 06/07/2024

Reading time: 13 minutes, 2629 words

🪖 Military

Armenia, Germany reached agreements on military-technical and military-technological cooperation

Delegation to participate in ‘ILA Berlin 2024’ exhibition, held in Berlin from June 5 to 9. Several agreements were reached, and various documents were signed, the defence ministry said.

Armenpress, Armenia and Germany sign documents on military-technical cooperation

The NA committee approved the agreement on the expansion of Armenian-Greek military-technical cooperation

Armenia and Greece signed an agreement on military-technical cooperation. The agreement was signed on December 14, 2023 in Athens. The directions will be the transfer of technologies and technical support for the production of weapons and munitions.

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Macron to supply Ukraine with Mirage 2000-5 warplanes and train pilots and troops in France

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Armenpress

🏛️ Politics & Government

Signing of Armenian-Azerbaijani peace treaty nullifies OSCE Minsk Group's relevance, believes Alen Simonyan

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Armenpress

Protesters at COP 29 accuse Azerbaijan of greenwashing genocide as host of COP29, call for release of Armenian prisoners

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ArmRadio

Azerbaijan proposes Armenia to jointly seek cancelation of Minak Group

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PanArmenian

Armenia elected as Member of UN Economic and Social Council for 2025-2027

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Armenpress

Armenian Foreign Minister meets SCO Secretary-General

Foreign Minister Ararat Mirzoyan had a meeting with Secretary-General of Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) Zhang Ming. The parties expressed hope that the discussions during the visit would contribute to expanding opportunities for cooperation between Armenia and the SCO.

Armenpress, Nikol Pashinyan Receives Zhang Ming and Delegation, SCO interested in expanding mutually beneficial relations with Armenia - Secretary General, The Shanghai Cooperation Organization is interested in expanding mutually beneficial relations with Armenia. General Secretary, Shanghai Cooperation Organization interested in expanding relations with Armenia

Armenian Parliament Speaker deems information regarding Pashinyan's visit to Azerbaijan absurd

President of the Armenian National Assembly Alen Simonyan says information suggesting that Armenian Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan is planning to visit Azerbaijan in November is absurd. Earlier, PM's Press Secretary Nazeli Baghdasaryan denied the post made by a political scientist.

Armenpress

Prime Minister receives the representatives of the Central Board of Armenian Democratic Liberal Party-Ramgavar

Nikol Pashinyan received the representatives of the Central Board of the Armenian Democratic Liberal Party-Ramgavar. The PM emphasized that the government's goal is to strengthen the sovereignty and ensure the permanence of statehood in Armenia.

Armenpress

No delegation from Armenia visits Ukraine, affirms Armenian Parliament Speaker

Alen Simonyan says no delegation from Armenia went to Ukraine, noting that he is not commenting on Maria Zakharova's statements. The Russian representative of the Russian Foreign Ministry called for the handover of the list of those killed in Bucha.

Armenpress, Zakharova referred to the Armenian delegation's visit to Bucha

Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan chairs regular session of the Investment Committee

The sixth session of the Investment Committee was held under the leadership of Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan. The committee discussed the Yerevan Metro Modernization Project. The main goal of the project is the creation of a pre-clinical center for pre-scientific research.

Armenpress

European Commission recommends start of accession talks with Ukraine, Moldova

The European Commission has recommended that European Union members start accession talks with Ukraine and Moldova, the commission’s Spokesperson Ana Pisonero said at a press conference in Brussels. At a Brussels meeting on December 14-15, 2023, EU leaders decided to start negotiations with the two countries on joining the union.

Armenpress, Brussels says Ukraine and Moldova ready for membership talks as Hungary mounts opposition

Mirzoyan congratulates Greece on election to UN Security Council

Armenian Foreign Minister Ararat Mirzoyan congratulated his Greek counterpart George Gerapetritis on Greece's election as a member of the United Nations Security Council. The message reads as follows: "I extend warmest congratulations" given commitment and shared vision for more secure environment in our region.

Armenpress, Armenian FM congratulates Greece and Denmark on their election to UN Security Council

The EU will provide budgetary support to Armenia

The financing agreement "EU support for education in Armenia" was signed between Armenia and the European Commission. The European Commission transferred 5 million euros to the Government in December 2023, and 1.5 million euros in May 2024. It is also planned to build 13 educational complexes in Syunik region, 7 of them in Kapan, and 6 in Goris.

Armenpress, EC allocates about 7 million euros to Armenia for education development, EU to provide budgetary support to Armenia

Pashinyan and Modi emphasized the importance of the development of Armenian-Indian cooperation

Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan had a telephone conversation with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Pashinian congratulated the National Democratic Alliance led by Narendra Modi on the occasion of its victory in the parliamentary elections. Nikol and Narendra Modi emphasized the importance of further development of cooperation between the two countries, the PM's office says.

CivilNet

Armenia’s parliamentary speaker: OSCE Minsk Group dissolution can be discussed after Yerevan, Baku sign peace treaty

Azerbaijan’s leader Ilham Aliyev said on Thursday that Yerevan and Baku should address the OSCE to initiate the dissolution of the Minsk Group. President of Armenia's National Assembly Alen Simonyan also said that Armenia puts its efforts towards the peace treaty.

ArkaAm

Armenia to oblige banks, pharmacies and large retail outlets to install surveillance cameras

Armenian Parliament approves draft law obliging large economic entities and companies to install outdoor surveillance cameras. Deputy Interior Minister Arpine Sargsyan noted that the bill applies to banks, credit organisations, pawnshops, pharmacies and pharmacies. The changes will affect retail facilities with an area of more than 100 square metres, gas stations and catering outlets.

ArkaAm

Police Guard to be established in Armenia

Armenian parliamentary committee on defence and security issues on Friday approved a bill calling for establishment of a police guard. The bill was presented by the Deputy Minister of Internal Affairs Arpine Sargsyan. Guards will not take direct part in military actions, as was the case with the police troops.

ArkaAm

Russian Deputy Prime Minister expects Iran-EEU FTA to becomeoperational in 2025

Russia expects the free trade area (FTA) agreement between Iran and the Eurasian Economic Union to become operational in 2025. Deputy Prime Minister Alexei Overchuk noted that Iran’s accession to the FTA will enlarge the EEU market by 80 million people to a total 400 million people. The EEU countries signed a full-fledged free trade agreement with Iran on December 25, 2023.

ArkaAm

Armenia willing to complete and sign peace deal with Azerbaijan within the next month – MFA

The Republic of Armenia does not have any territorial claims on any of its neighbors, including Azerbaijan, the Armenian Foreign Ministry said in response to Azerbaijani Presidents claims. ‘Such rhetoric torpedoes the peace process and casts doubts on the sincerity of the leadership of Azerbaijan to achieve peace’

ArmRadio, Aliyev: No peace treaty unless Armenia changes constitution

Sunak admits it was a 'mistake' to leave D-Day commemorations early

British PM Rishi Sunak has apologised for leaving D-Day commemorations in Normandy early, admitting it was a "mistake" Sunak: "The last thing I want is for the commemorations to be overshadowed by politics" Labour has called it a "dereliction of duty"

Armenpress

Gevorg Papoyan received Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary Saha Sinha

The Armenian government is planning to build a partnership with India to help develop the country's economy. The government is also planning to develop a partnership in India-Argentine partnership with the country.

Armenpress, Armenia might construct copper smelter using leading Indian tech, Armenia is considering the option of building a copper smelter using advanced technologies from India

Illegally built and non-compliant gas stations can not be in Yerevan - Avinyan

During 2023, we have dismantled 25 gas stations located near residential buildings in the city of Yerevan, wrote on his Facebook page. The process will be implemented this year as well and will continue consistently.

Armenpress

Israel's Netanyahu to address U.S. Congress on July 24

Benjamin Netanyahu will speak to joint session of the House of Representatives and the Senate. Netanyahu's visit comes amid tensions between him and U.S. President Joe Biden. Netanyahu has also issued a statement on his upcoming visit.

Armenpress, Netanyahu to address US Congress on 24 July

7 injured in massive blast at gas station outside Yerevan

A liquified gas tank exploded in the town of Abovyan along the highway to Lake Sevan. At least seven people were injured, two seriously, in a blast late Thursday evening. Authorities moved in February to shut down the gas station, which was operating without a license, local media reports.

CivilNet, Seven citizens were injured by the explosion on the Yerevan-Sevan road, two are in the intensive care unit, Gas supply to subscribers in Abovyan stopped since night due to explosion on Sevan highway, The gas supply to the city of Abovyan was stopped overnight due to an explosion on the Sevan highway, Seven injured in massive gas station explosion in Armenia

‘Stop threatening us’: Alen Simonyan responds to Galuzin's allegations

Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Mikhail Galuzin said earlier that 'ill-conceived steps' could make it impossible to return to joint work on creating a common defence space with Russia and other CSTO countries. Simonyan said that Armenia is not negotiating with any country, nor is it discussing deployment of a foreign military base or joining any strategic alliance.

ArkaAm

Russia works on bringing Mir cards back to Armenia

Russia working on resuming operation of its Mir bank cards in Armenia and Kyrgyzstan, Deputy Foreign Minister Alexander Pankin said on Friday. Russian banks, except for the Russian-owned VTB bank, stopped accepting Mir cards on 30 March 2024 due to the payment system being sanctioned by the Western countries. The Russian payment system was introduced in 2015.

ArkaAm

Armenia has made significant strides in improving food safety, FAO and WHO say

The Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO) and the World Health Organization (WHO) jointly with key partners in Armenia observes the World Food Safety Day. This year’s theme emphasizes the importance of readiness for unforeseen food safety incidents, ranging from minor local events to major international crises.

ArmRadio

💵 Economy

Exports of products of Armenian origin recorded 14 per cent decline in the first quarter - Finance Ministry

Exports of products of Armenian origin in the first three months of 2024, compared to the same period of 2023, recorded a 14.3 per cent decline. At the same time, imports grew 75.8 per cent in January-March 2024 compared to 2023. Armenia's foreign trade turnover increased 2.1 times to $9.2 billion.

ArkaAm, Finance Ministry: Armenia’s tourist influx drops by 2% in Q1 2024 YoY

Insurance premiums in Armenia totalled AMD 23bn in the first quarter of 2024.

The volume of insurance premiums collected by 8 insurance companies in Armenia in the first quarter of 2024 made more than AMD 23 billion. In 2023, AMD 73.3 billion were collected as personal insurance premiums.

ArkaAm

🎭 Culture

Aram Khachatryan, Saroyan and Yerevan Metro

On June 6, passengers in the Yerevan metro were listening to Aram Khachatryan's music. It was the great composer's birthday, and the metro management decided to remind the passengers about the day. Both the "Dance with Swords&quat; and the.quatry. waltz melody of the &qot;Masquerade. ballet was playing in another station, the. &quatyyan's most famous and world-wide works.

CivilNet

⚽ Sport

Yerevan to host open boxing championship

The Yerevan Open Boxing Championship will be held in the Armenian capital on 10-15 June. Around 150 boxers from Bulgaria, Iran, Latvia, Hungary, Moldova, Russia, Georgia and Armenia registered for the tournament.

ArkaAm

Armenia beat Kazakhstan 2:1 in a friendly

Armenian national beat Kazakhstan in a friendly at Republican Stadium after Vazgen Sargsyan in Yerevan. Nair Tiknizyan opened the score in the 4th minute of the match. Vahan Bichakhchyan doubled the advantage in the 58th minute.

ArmRadio, Armenia hosts Kazakhstan in a friendly tonight

Donations to Armenia:

Himnadram
ServicemenFund
Armenian Wounded Heroes
ArmeniaFund

Who settled here originally after the natives ?

Hi Everybody! I have a long list of games I'm selling below. Hit me with any offers on one game or multiple games! Thank you!
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Not included (Death Stranding Director's Cut)
Aliens Fireteam Elite (Steam)
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Founder's Fortune (Steam)
​
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The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition (Steam)
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Yakuza 4 Remastered (Steam)
Roadwarden (Steam)
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Merchant of the Skies (Steam)
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​
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Sunlight

This is a continuation of the first half of my March trip, where I hit up Kamakura, Yokohama, Tokyo, Hakuba, Takayama, Kanazawa, and Kyoto.
These last two weeks of my trip I was in Hiroshima, Miyajima, Okunoshima, Kyoto, Nozawaonsen, Fujikawaguchiko, and Tokyo.
The first half of my trip, I was working full time and barely sleeping. This second half, I had a lot more freedom.
Some things I did: fed some bunnies, watched a baseball game, attended an anime convention, waited a long time for donuts, wait through transport delays, wandered through a forest
A large portion of my trip was planned on the fly which was why I was able to make some seemingly nonsensical travel decisions. If I'd planned ahead of time, I wouldn't have missed out on certain in-demand experiences, for example, seeing a band I badly wanted to see, or returning to the Ghibli Museum to replace the kodama figure I'd smashed. However, one of the benefits of solo travel is the flexibility of doing whatever one wants, and I certainly did that.
On that note, most of the other people I saw throughout my trip were traveling with friends or significant others. There were plenty of occasions where I wished there was someone to share the experience with (the fact that I was still carrying a torch for someone the whole time didn't help).
In general, the hostels in Japan also seemed far less interested in promoting social activities, compared other countries I've visited. There were exceptions, like the one place that was run by a European guy. People on the streets also tended to do their own thing; I was approached by strangers twice during my trip, both times cos I was carrying a box from a very trendy donut shop.
This probably isn't Japan-specific, but one of the biggest lessons I learned was leave ample time for travel delays. I got caught by unforeseen circumstances and each time I wished I hadn't scheduled things so tightly. If hurrying between cities, I'd also take the train over the bus next time. It might cost a little more, but worth it just to avoid being stuck in traffic.
Expenses (gonna use USD):
Credit card $2802 / Cash $855
Total spent $3657
I charged my card as much as possible, both for the travel points and for fear of running out of cash. I arrived with almost $1k in bills and actually ended up with a bit left over
Lodging - $746 for 28 days, ranging from several $16/night hostels to a $52/night ryokan
Shopping - don't know total cos I used both card and cash, but my biggest expense was $217 electronic device from Don Quijote, followed by $49 at Uniqlo
Food - also don't know total, but most expensive meals were $70 and $35 for two tofu dinners, and $50 for wagyu lunch. The majority of my meals were <$10.
Other - notably $334 for one-week JR Pass and ~$200 for private lesson to level up snowboarding skills
Mon 3/18 - Hiroshima, Miyajima
Took off for Hiroshima on the shinkansen first thing in the morning. I was pleasantly surprised to by how much the JR Pass covered for this leg; I barely paid for any transportation costs the next few days. My pass covered the sightseeing bus that takes you from Hiroshima Station to a bunch of tourist locations (my hostel was right by one of them), the train and ferry rides to Miyajima, and my trains to Tadanoumi. IIRC all that was left was the 100yen Miyajima visitor tax and the ferry ride for Okunoshima. Score. Once again, Japan Travel by NAVITIME was super helpful for figuring out covered routes.
I got off the tourist bus at Peace Memorial Park and checked into my hostel, then immediately headed to a nearby okonomiyaki place (Henkutsuya Horikawa). Damn, that ooey gooey chewy flavour bomb seriously hit the spot. I wasn't expecting to be served right on the griddle where the food was being prepared.
After that, I walked around Peace Memorial Park, full of solemn tributes for everyone affected by the atomic bomb. The museum painted a very vivid picture of what transpired the morning of the bomb. It's hard for me to write about this. I'll just say people should know the human toll of war.
The park was built near the bomb had detonated; now everything is beautiful and serene, with only a few eerie vestiges of destruction like the Atomic Dome (kinda eerie at night).
I'd lingered a little longer than expected at the museum (it'd take hours to read through everything) and had to rush off to Miyajima. First things I noticed after getting off the ferry were the deer, so chill unlike the entitled ones I'd encountered in Nara. These, I like.
I spent some time walking through the shopping street, plenty of seafood, snacks, and souvenirs were available. Also diddle around Itsukushima Shrine a bit, waiting around for sunset and high tide. The view of the Great Torii was quite lovely.
Had some very cheap udon and egg sushi at Ueda, an adorable mom-and-pop restaurant near my hostel. The old lady there was just hustling to serve me; I wanted to hug her so bad. There was also a Dodgers game was on, and the camera kept cutting to Shohei Ohtani. The love for this guy here is real; I want to watch him play in person now.
Tues 3/19 - Okunoshima
Set off bright and early for a day trip to Rabbit Island for some eye bleach, and that was what I got, sorta. I'd bought some carrots and lettuce for feeding at the konbini beforehand, but you can buy bags of food pellets as well. The bunnies there were not shy at all; they come running out straight to you soon as they detect human presence, probably because they are so dependent on us for food. There were pans of presumably food and water around the island, which put my mind slightly more at ease.
Rabbits aren't all Rabbit Island is known for. It also used to be a secret island used for poison gas production, but maybe Poison Gas Island doesn't have the same appeal to it. There are still some creepy abandoned buildings and other traces of its martial past scattered around. I visited the poison gas museum, which was tiny but informative. Many of the plant workers suffered from ailments or straight up died here. There is now a resort where some of stuff took place.
Dark past aside, it was a nice quiet day of walking up and down trails. There are some decent views of the surrounding islands from the top of the hill.
Wed 3/20 - Tokyo
Well, today was a little unusual. About a week or so ago, I got the idea of seeing a baseball game in Japan. Was originally thinking the Hiroshima Toyo Carp but their schedule didn't work for me. Then I found out the historic Meiji Jingu Stadium, home of the Tokyo Yakult Swallows, might get torn down soon, and I wished to see it before that happens. There was a home game today that fit my schedule. Also - I'd decided previously that I wanted to hit up another ski resort at some point for more riding, and my JR Pass was active this week. Yeah so that's how I found myself leaving Hiroshima for a pit stop in Tokyo, then finishing the day in Nozawaonsen.
Left hostel around 6am to catch the Shinkansen to Tokyo Station, where I found a locker to dump my bags. Quick tempura soba lunch at Tendon Tenya, then off to Meiji Jingu Stadium. I was 15 min late to the 1pm starting time, right as it was starting to rain.
It'd been a few years since I last saw a baseball game, and this turned out to be a great experience. The fans were super into it, singing and chanting every few minutes. They also did the Tokyo Ondo dance with their tiny ass umbrellas at the 7th inning and whenever the Swallows scored, so adorable. Concession fare was not bad either; I got udon and matcha parfait instead of hot dogs for a change, and it was funny to see the players hamming it up.
Home team won, a few rounds of Tokyo Ondo were sung, now it's back to Tokyo Station to take the Shinkansen toward Nozawaonsen. Now Japanese trains are renowned for their punctuality, with the average train delay less than one minute a year - well my train was two hours late to arrive. It was very windy and rainy that day, and a fallen tree had blocked the way or something. I arrived at my Iiyama stop way too late to catch the last bus and the taxi stand was empty. It was snowing hard outside and I thought I was SOL. Thankfully, a station attendant was able to call up a cab for me. What was supposed to be a $4 bus ride turned into a $50 cab ride but, shou ga nai. I was so so happy when I finally entered my room at Miyasakaya at 11pm and found a kotatsu and heater waiting for me.
Thu 3/21 - Nozawaonsen
I chose this place because it was a cute little village with both a ski resort and over a dozen public baths. Despite the travel mishaps the day before, I was glad I came. The village was very compact and it was only a short walk to the resort. I felt very fortunate to have fresh pow both times I went riding.
After that was over, I set off to explore the village a bit. Everything was beautiful and serene from the freshly fallen snow. There was Ogama, a hot spring used by locals as an open air kitchen for cooking food. Only villagers are allowed in, probably for good reason.
I tried one of the 13 free public bathhouses where, as is customary in Japan, the baths are gender-separated and everyone strips down completely. Big yikes. It seemed like elderly (locals) had no trouble wading right in whereas the younger generation, myself included, had to struggle a bit to acclimate to the high temperature of the water. I decided one bath was quite enough for me and went to enjoy a hearty dinner that included an onsen egg and the local pickled nozawana.
BTW, I understand the serious dangers that come with backcountry riding, but the dourness of this poster just sent me.
Fri 3/22 - Kyoto
Well, I ended up deciding I wanted to visit Fushimi Inari on this trip after all (but mostly I wanted an excuse to eat more tofu), so back to Kyoto I went. First stop was Nishiki Market which had a very wide delicious-looking assortment of food stands. The freshly fried tempura and freshly prepared seafood looked especially good; too bad I was full.
Then up some shopping streets, quick stop at Ippodo to buy some matcha which I forgot to do the week before. Afterwards, back to Kyoto Gyoen to scope out the tree situation. Well there was one big cherry blossom tree that was in partial bloom; nevertheless it was surrounded by people taking pictures (hey we take what we can get).
Hopped on the train to Fushimi Inari and got there in the late afternoon, still lots of people around. I started climbing the steps, stopping only for a city vista with the orange glow of sunset. The crowds were petering out, awesome. By the time I reached the top (~50 min later), it was already dark, peaceful, eerie almost. I'd never seen this place at night and was glad I came. (It's technically open 24/7 but there are warning signs about wild boars out at night.)
The rest of the night was kind of a bummer. I went back to the restaurant where I first had tofu dinner eight years ago. The only tofu set available included seafood which I was allergic to. I inquired about potential substitutions and there must've been some miscommunication; what I ended up getting was a plate of wagyu and rice, which was obviously quality but my heart was set on tofu. I was probably mostly mad at myself for the failed listening comprehension. Oh well, things don't always turn out when traveling.
Sat 3/23 - Tokyo
Back to Tokyo, where I would stay for much of the remainder of my trip. This was the last day of my JR Pass so no more stupid bouncing back and forth after today.
There were two concerts I'd really hoped to attend happening today, primarily King Gnu at Sapporo Dome. (They had an international ticket sale late last year, way before I'd decided on this trip.) Knowing how slim my chances are as a foreigner to get tickets, I hedged and bought a day pass to the AnimeJapan 2024 convention instead. It was only ~$16, way cheaper than any anime convention back home, a cost I would happily eat if I managed to score a concert ticket.
I was aiming to make it into the convention by 10:25 which alas did not happen. I had a chance to see the voice actor of my favourite anime in person but the wait to get in took too long and I missed the panel completely. Oh well... This was actually my first anime convention ever and it was certainly a interesting if not overstimulating experience. The place was completely packed with attendees, giant screens, loud noises. Many anime that I recognised, many that I did not. There was also a decent number of cosplayers; this one's my favourite. Oh yeah I also had the least-satisfying meal of my entire trip here (aside from non-tofu).
The rest of the day was less interesting - visited the life-size Unicorn Gundam, wandered into a random tulip festival nearby, checked sukiyaki off my list, arrived at my hostel in Chiyoda. I was pleased to have milked that JR Pass until the very end, an 11pm ride on the Yamanote line.
Sun 3/24 - Tokyo (Akihabara)
First stop of the day was the National Museum of Modern Art, which I ended up enjoying quite a bit. Modern art is sometimes known for being inscrutable, but this museum offered accompanying text for almost everything and I felt engaged the whole time. There was also a cherry blossom special exhibition going on, and they provided low benches to emulate the hanami experience, such a nice touch.
Next up was the Sumida Hokusai Museum, which only has replicas in its permanent exhibition but was still very informative about the many artistic periods of the man's life (he also went by over 30 names, depending on the period!) I especially liked this display on process behind the the Great Wave Over Kanagawa.
I'd originally gone to Asakusa for lunch at Ichiran around noon, but noped out after seeing the line out the door and around the corner. Returned right before 5pm, the queue was only 6 people long, score. All I can say is that it was GOOD to be back. My bowl was customised to perfection; it's still my favourite ramen chain.
After dinner, walked over to Akihabara to explore a bit. The streets were lined with a ridiculous number of girls trying to hand out flyers and get people into their maid cafes (also a couple of guys for butler cafes); I was just glad they were allowed to wear jackets and carry umbrellas standing in the cold. Already tried the maid cafe experience last time; being addressed as "your majesty" once was more than enough.
My hope was to locate a Gintama figure. I saw lots and lots of figures on display in various stores but sadly nothing for what I wanted. One of my stops was the eight-floor Mandarake complex. That place... was an experience. So much stuff, including a sorta creepy floor with customisable dolls. BTW, you might think all the hentai would be hidden at the top or something. Haha well, just don't take your kids into the fourth floor. On that same note, how DARE they defile Frieren like that!
I wandered around a bunch of other shops and saw and hundreds and hundreds of figurines, e.g. Gundam, One Piece, Spy X Family, all the shounens, etc. It was still fun to explore and see all the displays.
Mon 3/25 - Tokyo (Asakusa, Akihabara)
Today's schedule was relatively light as I'd planned to go hiking at Jimba today; however the rain kinda blew those plans away. Instead, I got some cardio in by running the Imperial Palace 5k loop. It was really pleasant, a lot of urban scenery to take in. Maybe a little pleasant - I stopped several times to snap pictures. If you go, make sure you run counterclockwise to not look like a knob!
Afterwards, I headed back to Asakusa to pay a visit Senso-ji. As expected, the place was completely packed, with good reason: every direction you turn, there was a pretty view. Honestly I didn't even mind the crowds; they added to the energy. This place is just so invigorating I would visit it every time I'm in town.
Also got matcha gelato at Suzukien right behind Senso-ji. The level 7 matcha really hit the spot, was totally worth the hype.
For dinner, I ventured back to Akihabara to try Japanese-style spaghetti at Spajiro. As a lover of noodle soup, it really hit the spot for me. Afterwards, picked up some stuff at Uniqlo and Donki (gotta love that duty-free shopping) before calling it a night.
Tues 3/27 - Tokyo (Shibuya, Shinjuku)
It poured all day, which was rather unfortunate. I had plans to visit the Tokyo National Museum, and it seemed that many other tourists also got the idea that being indoors was better than wandering around Ueno Park today. Cue the hourlong queue.
The contents of the museum were as expected: many cultural treasures that they were (rightfully) proud of. I particularly enjoyed the beautiful folding screens, kimonos, calligraphy, and woodblock prints (including actual Hokusai ones). There's also a nice garden, which I almost had all to myself bc only one or two other people wanted to step out in the pouring rain.
Now for the crummy part: I had reservations in the afternoon for Shibuya Sky, but visibility was terrible. The rooftop was also closed due to rain. It was hard to see far, but at least the immediate surroundings, e.g. the crossing, were still easy to see.
Before going up the tower, I'd passed by this place called "I'm donut ?" that had a ginormous line. After the tower, line was gone so I went in to check it out. There was literally one single donut left and they closed up shop after I bought it. As I stood outside enjoying my pleasantly not-too-sweet chocolate spelt donut with the texture of fluffy bread, several other people came by and stared hungrily at my treat. Awkward...
This evening I was headed to Shinjuku's Golden Gai for dinner at Ramen Nagi, the first place I'd ever eaten at in Japan. It was eight years ago, way past midnight, and this cramped second-story ramenya was the first place we saw open on the way to our lodging. We were flustered by having to order off a machine for the first time, but the anchovy broth and curly ribbons of noodles, unlike any ramen we'd eaten back home, promised only more surprising delights to come for our trip... Anyways. It was as cramped and delicious as I'd remembered. I was happy.
After dinner, wandered around Kabukicho a bit, wondering what was going on inside all these buildings of the red-light district. The place was already very loud and bright from all the signs around, but the reflections off shimmering wet streets made things seem doubly so.
Walked through Omoide Yokocho, where I found myself getting pulled into one of the stalls. Goddamnit, I just ate. I politely ordered two skewers and the bill, which includes a $3 yen table charge, came out to be around $7. Well I guess in a way it was worth it for the "unique" experience - the guy grilling the skewers was casually just reaching into the snack mix bin and smoking a cigarette at the same time, that's the kind of place this was.
Saw something on Google Maps about a giant Godzilla head, which took me to a nearby movie theatre. Instructions unclear, watched Dune: Part Two instead.
Wed 3/26 - Tokyo (Ginza), Koga
First half of today would be Ginza, followed by a day trip to Koga in Ibaraki Prefecture to visit a trio of octogenarians I'd befriended at a cave in Vietnam.
I like Ginza. Very pretty and walkable, obviously you don't actually have to buy anything.
First stop was Kimuraya, supposedly the oldest bakery in Japan, originator of anpan and whatever the hell this is. Munched on shrimp katsu sando at their cafe on 2F and watched the passersby below.
Next, walked around the Kabukiza Theatre and checked out the free little kabuki museum in the tower behind it. Kinda cool angle of the theatre too. Didn't have time this trip, but I remember catching part of a kabuki show was a pretty nice experience, plus you can just buy tickets for a single act and then peace out.
Lunch at Ginza Hachigou, the reason I came today. It took me two weeks to get that reservation, basically the same experience as fighting bots for concert tickets. I ordered the one with the foie gras ravioli, which at $14 would be my most expensive ramen this trip. And, it was really good. Each part of it was prepared well; I especially enjoyed the flavourful lightness of the consomme and the pillowy softness of the ravioli (honestly feels more like a wonton to me). You only get 30 min of seat time and I took it pretty slow to savour everything.
Walked around a bit more to take in the glimmering architecture. There was a giant mass of people outside the Michael Kors store; apparently some kpop idol was inside and fans were trying to catch a glimpse of her.
A place I ended up really liking was the free Shiseido Gallery, which provides solo exhibition space for various artists. When I went, the featured artist was Zai Nomura, whose work really spoke to me. There was one interactive piece that invited visitors to submit their own photographs, which I gladly did.
Mid-afternoon, I hopped on the train to Koga to see my cave buddies. It was an hour and a half ride, and they picked me from the station to go to the local park. There was a peach blossom festival going on, with orchards of mostly Barbie-pink fluff as far as the eye could see. We took a lovely sunset stroll at the park, then headed off to a nice Japanese restaurant. I had input my order and gone to the restroom, when they decided that ordering off a tablet was too confusing and we should go somewhere else. (Like many of the elderly I'd encountered here, they are healthy and spry, but still utterly befuddled by technology.) Instead we went to a Chinese restaurant and I must say, the Chinese food I've tried in Japan has continued to disappoint me; at least the company did not. It was also nice hanging out in an average, non-touristy city for a change.
Thu 3/28 - Tokyo (Shibuya)
No real plans today other than wandering around Shibuya and eating. With only a few days left on my trip, this was gonna be my lazy weekender foodie day. Skip if you don't want to read me yammering on about food.
Took a stroll through Nakameguro to catch some cherry blossoms. The trees lining the streets were indeed coming along quite well, but the ones along the river were still barren. Everyone's been waiting expectantly but the recent cold snap delayed the blooms by a week.
Next up was a visit to the Kyu Asakura House, a well-preserved local politician's estate from the early 1900s where they absolutely do not want you touching anything. It really was a nice home that takes you back in time, even if barren of furniture - and the garden was even nicer.
Realising the house was only a 6 min away from the Shibuya I'm donut ?, I returned, again to a long orderly line (Japanese people really do not mind their queues). So I figured, already tried one donut of theirs that was good, why not see if the rest were worth the hype?
55 minutes later... I didn't notice it last time, but this particular branch was like an atelier of donuts; everything was arranged in such a beautiful, bougie fashion. And there were dozens of interesting flavours too! I picked out six and decided to save worrying about how to eat them all for later.
Next stop: Nanaya. The intense matcha and black sesame gelato I had at Suzukien was so enjoyable I decided to get it again, at Nanaya. (The 7 levels of matcha gelato was a collab between the two.) So good, made me wish there were a level 8 or 9...
At this point, I figured I should get some real food in my belly before I fill it up completely with sweets. Aoyama Flower Market Tea House, which charmed the hell out of me a few weeks ago, was nearby so I went back for an actual meal. The flower arrangements for the place had changed, but my omurice lunch was as aesthetically pleasing and delicious as expected.
Next up was Latte Art Mania that was recommended to me by a barista I'd met at the hostels. Their deal is that they specialise in latte art (duh) and their drinks are pitch black (charcoal, most likely). Apparently I got the same design as my friend, a swan, but the drink itself was very good and it tripped me out to see my matcha latte the colour of tar.
Rest of the day was just wandering around Shibuya, lots of big brand stores, lots of trendy boutiques, lots of people to see. Walked through Harajuku, which was not as busy as I'd remembered, maybe bc it was late afternoon.
I saw a sign for Harry Harajuku hedgehog cafe that included pictures of otters, some of my favourite animals, so I went upstairs to it for a peek. There were indeed otters outside, but most of them were running in circles restlessly in small pens. It was a little unnerving for me and I decided not to enter.
Next up, Shibuya PARCO, which had Pokemon Center, Nintendo Store, Jump Shop, Capcom Store, etc all on the same floor. It was, expectedly, crowded as hell, so I didn't stay too long. It was cool to see full-size statues of Mewtwo, Luffy, Link, and others though.
Took another obligatory Shibuya Crossing video (this time from the Mark City bridge) and decided I was done with crowds for the day. It was surprising to see how uncongested everything was even just 200m away from the crossing.
Tried to walk into Tofu Cuisine Sorano for you-know-what, but they were sold out for the night, four hours before closing. :( Instead I settled for a hearty plate of napolitan at Spaghetti no Pancho, which I doused in Kewpie mayo and parmesan until I felt bad about myself. And then I got to work on the donuts, which turned out to be very much worth the hype.
Fri 3/29 - Tokyo (Ginza, Shinjuku), Fujikawaguchiko
I returned to Shiseido Gallery in Ginza. As previously mentioned, Zai Nomura's exhibit had an interactive portion, which invited users to submit photographs of the deceased to be "printed" into a tank of water at a scheduled time. Hard to explain. My grandmother had passed the month before and it was a real cathartic experience for me.
Before leaving, I stopped at Ginza Ginger for this exquisite bowl of shaved ice. It was a seasonal sakura theme, delicate in flavour and varied in texture, a beautiful treat. The hot strawberry ginger drink was an excellent accompaniment as well.
Speaking of sakura, more were finally getting into bloom in Tokyo so it was time to visit Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden. The park itself was pretty vast and there were a lot of people, mostly crowded under the clusters of blooming sakura. I only had an hour, which was enough to see plenty of trees, but had to skip revisiting the Garden of Words pavilion.
I was on a tight schedule today. I had to catch my bus to Fujikawaguchiko and make it to my hostel by 8pm to check in. Based on the bus schedule, I should've made it on time, but alas traffic conditions prevented that from happening; I got off at 8:15 and reception was closed. This was a sleepy resort town with dark streets, and I legit started worrying having to find a hotel way out of budget, if any were even open, or the safety and legality of sleeping outside.
I wandered into an izakaya at the bus station that was open to ask for help and someone said they would call around for me. I sat around awkwardly for half an hour with my luggage before realising I'd only eaten a donut all afternoon, so what a pleasant surprise it was to find this place had tofu stew and horse sashimi, my two comforts, on the menu.
At around 9:30, the employee returned and said he found an available place ~2km away if I'd be willing to sleep at a hostel. Uh, are you kidding me??? I quickly agreed and he made arrangements for me. Thank you, tenin-san from Uotami Fujisan Station, for saving the day!
I walked 20 min the dark to get to this place and not a single car passed by. At $35, it'd be one of my more expensive lodgings this trip (and eating the cost of the original hostel) but who cares right now. I arrived at Cabin & Lounge Highland Station Inn and wow the place was way nicer than I'd thought, more of an upscale capsule hotel than a hostel. Spacious capsules with lots of lighting and charging options, huge lockers, the whole place was immaculately clean, vending machines, laundry machines, plenty of showers with soaps, lotions, dryers, etc. I slept very soundly that night (sheer relief may have also factored in here).
Sun 3/30 - Fujikawaguchiko
First stop of the day was the iconic Chureito Pagoda at Arakurayama Sengen Park. The earlier to go the better - I arrived around 7:30am and a few dozen people were already up there, plus I was kinda flushed after climbing the 400 stairs in the sun.
I realised that my trip was nearing its end and there was still nary a shred of evidence (screenshot of drained bank account maybe?) that I was in Japan. So, a photo here would have to do. Mt. Fuji - check, pagoda - check, cherry blossom - still in hiding. Eh, 2/3 ain't bad.
I hadn't noticed in the dark of night, but Mt. Fuji was so close by, casually looming over everything; just face the right direction and there it was, in your face. Pretty neat to experience.
Checked out of the capsule hostel and made it to Kawaguchiko Station to dump my luggage. It was a total zoo there and all the lockers were already occupied. I kept walking a few buildings down and found plenty of vacant lockers across the street from the 7-Eleven.
After securing bags, I went for lunch at the popular Hotou Fudo across the street from the station. Ordered the local specialty hoto miso noodle soup and horse sashimi, both of which I loved. It was a hearty and delicious meal.
Ambled along Lake Kawaguchi to where the cherry blossom festival was supposed to take place this weekend; however because the trees were still stubbornly refusing to blossom, there were barely any people around. I felt kinda bad for the people with booths out. It was a pleasant stroll along the lake but in all honesty, I wish I'd spent the day at Fuji-Q Highland amusement park.
Visited the Kawaguchi Asame Shrine, dedicated to the goddess of Mt. Fuji. This place is remarkable for having seven tall, healthy cedar trees clustered closely together, each one named and over 1,200 years old.
Went back to station to grab my bags and got picked up by the kind owner of my next hostel, Michikusa-ya. This place had a very lovely window seat.
Sun 3/31 - Fujikawaguchiko, Tokyo
Last full day in Japan!
There's this shrine on the lake called Rokkakudo that can only be accessed when the water level is low; other times it's on an islet. The inside of the shrine is bare but being able to get to the place was kinda cool on its own.
The majority of the day would be spent in Aokigahara aka Sea of Trees aka Suicide Forest. I was in a weird state of mind when I decided on this for the end of my trip. I had the two-day bus pass that gave unlimited rides on the red, blue, and green sightseeing buses. It's purchasable at Kawaguchiko Station or online, and is worth it for anyone making multiple stops.
I took the bus to the Bat Cave, closest stop to the forest entrance. There was an information center that naturally had three rooms full of Batman posters.
The forest really lived up to its name; the trails were clearly marked, but I did feel at numerous points as if I was standing amidst dense, undulating waves of trees. The forest floor is composed of impenetrable volcanic rock; thus most of the tree roots are splayed across the ground as tripping hazards. Though vast, there were plenty of exits to main roads or rest stops. I didn't think I'd meet a toilet I wouldn't like in Japan, but I was wrong.
At some point I decided that was enough forest and hopped on the sightseeing bus to the Narusawa Ice Cave. It was exactly as the name implied, a cave that naturally contained ice. I'd say it was borderline worth the price of admission: a cool phenomenon but you're also in and out in under ten minutes. I skipped the wind cave, which I think is similar.
With 24 hours left in Japan, it was time to head back to Kawaguchiko Station so I could catch the bus back to Tokyo and squeeze in last-minute activities. In hindsight, I should've taken the train. Just as the bus had taken longer to arrive than expected, it was stuck in traffic returning to Tokyo as well - this time delayed by three hours :/
I decided to spend my evening at Rikugien Gardens, which was specially lit up at night for sakura season. It was quite lovely and peaceful, in spite of the crowds, in spite of cherry blossoms not yet being in full bloom.
Final dinner was the familiar comfort of Marugame's nikutama bukkake udon, piled high with scallion and tempura bits. Also threw in vegetable kakiage and burdock root tempura since we don't have those items back home.
Watched the trains ride off into the night as I walked back to my hostel. Love you, Yamanote Line <3
Mon 4/1 - Tokyo
My flight was a little past 2pm but I wasn't quite ready to be done yet. Walked over to Ueno Park at 8am, where the trees were finally teasing pink and white cotton candy splendour. It wasn't very crowded yet since all the food stands wouldn't be open for another hour or so, but a bunch of people were already camping out their hanami picnic spots. I would've killed for a few more days...
I enjoyed Rikugien so much at night that I wanted to take the opportunity see it during the day as well. It was a peaceful stroll through a well-maintained garden; barely even register the dead grass anymore.
And with that, it was off to Narita. I wanted to give Ippudo a second chance and tried the akamaru ramen this time - much better flavour, and the chashu was perfection. After that, just hitting up the souvenir shops and making one final konbini run for my airplane "lunch". (Everything was fantastic except for the weird-tasting grapefruit gummies.) Also shoutout to Shiroi Koibito, the biscuits have a delightful buttery texture and they pack a good number into the boxes.
And that's the end of this trip. I didn't really want to go on it but I'm glad I ultimately went. Japan just has this certain charm makes you temporarily forget your troubles because you're so filled with wonder by what you're experiencing. Will probably return much sooner next time, to see the autumn leaves, and/or eat my way through Hokkaido and make use of pass at Niseko. Or go back to Koyasan, still a magical place for me. So many possibilities.
Anyways, that's it. Sorry it got kinda long. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.
Edit: fixed some errors and added missing photos

Model is Peugeot 308 SW 1.6 e-HDi and it is registered and used in Sweden. Wondering if anyone of you can answer based on the pictures alone if the car can be repaired or not? Or if the answer will have to wait until the repair guy opens up the hood.
Car has driven about 10k KILOMETERES

Peugeot 308 SW 1.6 e-HDi

1. https://i.ibb.co/bLCLLhQ/msg793915236-176619.jpg
2. https://i.ibb.co/Sf3CsJmsg793915236-176620.jpg (displaced on left side too)
3. https://i.ibb.co/y5b0dgC/msg793915236-176621.jpg
4. https://i.ibb.co/bsPCY7B/msg793915236-176622.jpg

Hello everyone, I am writing this down to share some experiences from the EASA land, also to keep my English writing skills up. ( I really got a feeling that my written English is getting worse when I learn French. ) To make things clear, in European aviation industry, we call flight instructors FI, while the FAA term CFI refers to the chief flight instructor.
I started flight training in Europe several years ago, pursuing my goal to become a professional pilot. Then the Covid came, I met some turbulence in my career, then fortunately landed my job teaching airline cadets. For my job, our work language stayed in English for most of the time, as we do have colleagues and cadets from all around the globe.
However, my FI rating was done in French; it was by far the most challenging period in my pilot life.
In France, flight instructor training are done with official or private schools. Language spoken could be either French or English. As for the official school ENAC, the National Civil Aviation University, flight instructor training stays in French. However, the airline cadets indulge themselves in English environment here. As ENAC is well known for its high quality in pilot training, so without a doubt, I was sent to its campus in south western France.
The entire package in ENAC consists of 3 phases done in 6 weeks. The first phase contains several theoretical classes to identify human behaviour, teaching-learning model and EASA flight training regulations. While the second and third phase focus on practical skills in the cockpit, including mastering flying from the right seat, finishing with simulated PPL lessons with tons briefing and debriefing. The fleet in ENAC is huge; we have two fleets dedicated for instructor training. Diamond DA40 and Socata TB10. The TB10 is a very robust French bird from the 1990s; it has a traditional 6-packs cockpit with a Garmin GPS installed above the pedestal. I love how it feels on the seat; it brought me some good memories from riding grandpa’s old car.
The first shock was the language.
I do speak French so there was no problem talking to people. However, since French aviation translated everything into their special names, my brain got suddenly lost while those special terms flood the cockpit. As an example, we call the wingtips “Saumon” which literally means salmon with no apparent reason. I do had some hard time understanding everything. Since I learned how to fly in English, those French terms really dragged me into the deep mist.
However, as everyone here speaks English. My instructor told me to use both languages as I wish. Well, as my brain got transformed into Francophone mode, I would rather stay in French to keep the same mentality. Some of the manuals are written in English, but classes are all given in French, therefore, I accepted French as my new work language. This is my life here as a foreigner, I adapt everything and I am happy to accept this opportunity to polish my French.
The flying part was extremely challenging. I had to give briefing, conduct the lesson of the day and take debriefing nonstop ; my brain hurts literally every single night. Additionally, writing in French was another adventure, that grammar and spelling system must be something they use to scare language learners away.
Compared with my French classmates, I spent much more time reviewing and preparing for the next day; and the fatigue was real. Once upon the time, I was staring at the whiteboard with my course manual open, but I could not form a single sentence to complete the briefing board. This is how I found the physical limit of my brain.
During those weeks, thanks to my basic conversation French level, things became much easier in the end as I have mastered most of the new terms in the cockpit. It was indeed a process of re-learning. From all the skills in flying down to the smallest details, to those aviation terms in my fourth language. By improving my vocabulary systematically, I can finally interact with my “fake student” (My instructor) and manage the flight efficiently in a French spoken, dynamic environment.
Honestly speaking, flying itself was not that difficult at all, it was how to manage all the flows inside and outside the cockpit. My colleagues told me that the most important key for an instructor is guiding the student and preventing them from killing you, all in the same time.
In the end, I obtained my FI rating with full French spoken learning environment. My DGAC examiner was delighted to see a total foreigner speaking to him fluently in the cockpit. He acknowledged my efforts greatly. As for the flying part, well, as I could already pass the mock exam in ENAC with my spoken French, nothing could be more difficult for the real checkride!
As a conclusion, kudos to all of you flying while being far away from your home, your native culture and your mother tongue.
For those chasing their skies in foreign countries, I hope you find it useful, and I hope you keep your motivation.
Thank you for reading my story.
TLDR: CFI training in French is brutally hard but rewarding