Hi guys, my name's Carmen from China and I will be living in West Glacier Montana during June to October for working vacation. Do you have any tips for me to live there? I will be so grateful and appreciate your help.
This is the first time I am going the US. This trip in the US for 4 months is a gift for myself as the graduation trip. So Im looking forward to having a great time there.
Currently what questions I am wondering are:
I am planning to buy a sim card of T-mobile for 1 month and after the first month I will change the card to Mint with the set 45 dollars for 3 months. I am wondering, does T-mobile work well in Montana? The palce I will stay in is close to the Glacier National Park, maybe 20 min car ride.
Would 10 sets of outfit enough for living 3 months in Montana? Alright I suppose this question is a bit funny hahha bec I know there's washer dryers. But is the clothes dry enough to wear right away after the dryer? Aiya it'll be annoying and inconvient if there's not enough clothes to wear.

Title: Unleashing the Power of Vacation: Embrace Your Journey
Hey fellow travelers,
Vacation, ah yes, that magical word that brings a sparkle to our eyes and warmth to our hearts. It's that delightful escape from the mundane, the opportunity to recharge our souls, and a chance to create cherished memories. So, let's dive into the depths of the vacation experience and explore how it can transform our lives.
🌴 Unplug and Reconnect: • By disconnecting from our daily routines, we find the space to reconnect with ourselves on a deeper level. • The absence of deadlines and responsibilities allows our minds to relax, rejuvenate, and rediscover our passions. • Stepping away from our virtual realms and embracing real-life connections can reignite a sense of belonging and foster meaningful relationships.
🌊 The Healing Power of Nature: • Nature has an incredible ability to heal and restore us, both physically and emotionally. • Whether it's immersing ourselves in the crystal-clear waters of a tranquil lagoon or hiking through lush tropical forests, nature has this serene way of soothing our spirits. • Breathing in the fresh air, feeling the warm sand beneath our feet, and witnessing the beauty of the natural world can be incredibly therapeutic, providing a deep sense of calm and clarity.
⛰️ Embrace the Adventure: • Stepping out of our comfort zones through exhilarating adventures can be transformative experiences. • Whether it's scaling a challenging peak, zip-lining through the treetops, or diving into the deep blue unknown, these adventures teach us valuable lessons about courage, resilience, and personal growth. • Pushing our boundaries and conquering our fears reveals a strength inside us that we may have never known existed before.
✨ Cultivate Mindfulness: • Vacation invites us to be fully present, to absorb every moment with unwavering attention. • The serene landscapes and the peaceful atmospheres we encounter create the ideal setting for practicing mindfulness. • By slowing down, breathing deeply, and immersing ourselves in the present, we cultivate gratitude and gain a new appreciation for life's simple pleasures.
🗺️ Wanderlust: More than a Traveler's Desire: • Wanderlust can be a powerful force, urging us to venture beyond our familiar surroundings and explore the unknown. • Through travel, we broaden our horizons, challenge our perspectives, and embrace cultural diversity. • By seeking experiences that differ from our own, we foster empathy, understanding, and compassion, becoming global citizens whose hearts beat for the world.
So, my fellow wanderers, pause and reflect on the potential of vacation to shape our lives in remarkable ways. Let's embrace the transformative power of this enchanting journey and embark on adventures that leave footprints not only on the sandy shores but also in the depths of our souls.
Safe travels and endless unforgettable experiences await!

• Wanderlustfully, Your Vacation Dreamer

Salaam all!
I've attempted to compile the "do's and don'ts" of the Qur'an, the following list is all OC. I very likely have made some mistakes/errors in judgment whilst compiling - or missed things out, so please do comment and point things out, i'll edit the post.
Enjoy :)

﷽

Do this:

Serve God (1:5)
Ask God for help (1:5)
Believe in Unseen (2:3)
Uphold the salāt (2:3)
Believe in the Qur’an and what preceded it (2:4)
Be certain of the Hereafter (2:4)
If in doubt, bring a Surah like it (2:23)
If there comes to you guidance from Him, follow it (2:38)
Render the zakāt (2:43)
Be in ruku’ (2:43)
Use reason (2:44)
Seek help in patience and salāt (2:45)
Consider your meeting with the Lord (2:46)
Be in prudent fear of the judgment day (2:48)
Trust in God, the last day, and do good (2:62)
Be good to parents (2:83)
Be good to kin, fatherless or the poor (2:83)
Be in prudent fear (2:103)
Say “look at us” (2:104)
Pardon and forbear (2:109)
Send good ahead (2:110)
Bring proof of claims (2:111)
Submit to God (2:112)
Do Good (2:82)
Trust in God and the last day (2:126)
Hold to the creed of Abraham (2:135)
Say that you trust in Him, what He has sent down (2:136)
Make no distinction between the prophets (2:136)
Immerse in Him (2:138)
Respond to those who say that Abraham (and descendants) were Christians/Jews with “know you better, or does God?” (2:140)
Direct your face to the inviolable place of worship wherever you are (2:144)
Remember Him (2:152)
Be grateful to Him (2:152)
Be patient (2:153)
Bear glad tidings to the patient (2:155)
Repent / Ask forgiveness (2:160)
Love Him (2:165)
Eat what is halāl or tayyeb (2:168)
Trust in Him, the last day, the angels, the Writ, the prophets (2:177)
Give wealth to relatives, the fatherless, the needy, and the wayfarer (2:177)
Manumit slaves (2:177)
Keep a covenant when you make it (2:177)
Qisās ‘prescribed’ (2:178)
Pay blood-money if no Qisās (2:178)
Will ‘prescribed’ (2:180)
Make right when you notice testator partiality (2:182)
Fasting in general ‘prescribed’ (2:183)
If sick or on journey, carry fasting forward (2:184)
Pay fidya if fast missed (2:184)
Fast in Ramadān (2:185)
Respond to Him (2:186)
Trust Him (2:186)
Lie with women after fasting (2:187)
Seek what he prescribed (2:187)
Eat and drink until the white thead is clear from the dark, then fast till sunset (2:187)
Approach houses by doors (2:189)
Fight those who fight you (2:190)
Kill those who fight you (2:191)
Turn out those who turned you out (2:191)
Don’t fight in the inviolable masjid until fought (2:191)
Fight until they desist, or until the end of fitnah (2:193)
Qisās in the sacred months (2:194)
Spend in His cause (2:195)
Do the hajj (2:196)
Do the offering of animals if not possible (2:196)
If sick, or hindrance of the head: redemption by fasting, charity, or penance (2:196)
If cannot attend, fast three days during it, the seven days upon return, save if family is permanently resident on site (2:196)
Take provision (2:197)
Remember Him at al-mash’ar al-harām (2:198)
Pour forth from where men have poured forth (2:199)
Remember Him like the remembrance of your father or stronger, after rites finished (2:200)
Ask Him to give you good in the World and Hereafter, and to protect you from the punishment (2:201)
Sell yourself for Him (2:207)
Enter into submission completely (2:208)
Fighting ‘prescribed’ (2:216)
Trust (2:218)
Emigrate (2:218)
Strive in His cause (2:218)
Hope for his mercy (2:218)
Spend the surplus (2:219)
Approach purified women in the correct manner (2:222)
Purify yourself (2:222)
Bear glad tidings to the mu’minūn (2:223)
Wait four months after foreswearing women (2:226)
Divorced women wait themselves for three menstrural courses (2:228)
When divorcing, retain them or release them (2:231)
Remember His favour (2:231)
Children are suckled for two ‘haūl’ (2:233)
Father provides provision and clothing (2:233)
Widows must wait for 4 months and ten days (2:234)
When divorcing her and you haven’t touched her nor appointed an obligation for her, make her a gift (2:236)
If they have an obligation appointed, then give half, unless forgoed (2:237)
Don’t forget the bounty between you two (2:237)
Preserve the salawāt (2:238)
Stand up for God humbly obedient (2:238)
If in fear, waking or riding (2:239)
Widows are to recieve one years maintenance with no expulsion (2:240)
Divorced women recieve provision (2:241)
Fight in His cause (2:244)
Spend of what He provided (2:254)
Deny tāghūt (2:257)
Spend in His cause (2:261)
Give up usury (2:278)
Defer money return until ease upon borrower (2:280)
[Follow debt contract instructions] (2:282)
If on journey and no writer, then a pledge in hand (2:283)
Make no distinction between messengers (2:285)
Obey Him (2:285)
Be truthful (3:17)
Seek forgiveness at dawn (3:17)
Be obedient (3:17)
Bear witness that there is no God save He (3:18)
Ask those given the writ and the unschooled if they’ve submitted (3:20)
Obey Him and the Messenger (3:32)
If they turn away, bear witness that you are submitting (3:64)
Fulfil your covenant (3:76)
Make no distinction between the prophets (3:84)
Spend of what you love (3:92)
Make pilgrimage to the house (3:97)
Hold fast to Him (3:101)
Hold fast to the rope of God together (3:103)
Have a community that invites to God, enjoins what is fitting, and forbids perversity (3:104)
Compete in good deeds (3:114)
Place trust in Him (3:122)
Be in prudent fear of the fire (3:131)
Vie with each other for forgiveness (3:133)
Control wrath (3:134)
Travel in the Earth to see the final outcome of the deniers (3:137)
Seek His approval (3:162)
Respond to God after injury befalls (3:172)
Fear Him (3:175)
Remember Allah standing, sitting, on the sides; reflect on the creation (3:191)
Be steady (3:200)
Give the fatherless their property (4:2)
If there is an injustice of the fatherless, then perform polygamy (4:3)
Give women their dowries (4:4)
If they remit anything voluntarily, then consume it with satisfaction and pleasure (4:4)
Feed and clothe the incompetent (4:5)
Test the fatherless when they reach marriage, if they are sound then give their property with witnesses (4:6)
Men/Women have a designated share of what parents/relatives leave (4:7)
If the fatherless and needy are at the site of division, then give part of what is left (4:8)
[Inheritance laws] (4:12-13)
[*] (4:15-16)
If you can’t marry free women, then from MMA of believing maids, marry them with the lesve of their people (4:25)
MMA are due half the punishment of free wine if they commit fāhisha (4:25)
Avoid enormities of whats forbidden (4:31)
For men and women is a share of what they earned (4:32)
Give shares to those whom your oaths have bound (4:33)
Men have responsibility over women (4:34)
Women are to be humbly obedient and keeping unseen what God keeps (4:34)
If you fear contempt from your women, then admonish them, and leave in beds apart, and [*] them – save that they obey you (4:34)
If a breach is feared, then an arbitrator from both sides are to be raised (4:35)
Good conduct towards relatives, the fatherless, the needy, the neighbour, the companion, the wayfarers, and MMA (4:36)
Spend of what Allah provides (4:39)
If you are ill, on a journey, have defecated, or had intercourse, and find not water, then perform tayammum (4:43)
Deliver trusts to owners and judge with justice (4:58)
Obey those in authority amongst you (4:59)
If you differ in a matter, refer to God and the Messenger (4:59)
Turn away from munāfiqūn, and admonish them (4:63)
Ask the messenger to ask forgiveness for you (4:64)
Take precaution and advance in groups/together (4:71)
Fight satan’s allies (4:76)
Consider the Qur’an with care (4:82)
Interceding in a good cause (4:85)
When you are greeted, return it, or greet with something greater (4:86)
Take not that munāfiqūn as allies until they emigrate in His cause, if they turn back then kill them (4:89)
If they withdraw and offer peace, you have no path against them (4:90)
Accidental murder of a mu’min: Manumit a mu’min slave and give blood-momey to family – save forgiveness (4:92)
Fast two months consecutively if not possible (4:92)
Verify/investigate when you go forth in His cause (4:94)
When you are amongst them then perform the salāt for them[follow procedure mentioned] (4:102)
When that salāt is concluded, remember Him standing, sitting, on the sides, and when at ease (4:103)
The salāt is required to be performed at set times for the mu’minūn (4:103)
Submit your face to Him, do good, follow the creed of Abraham (4:125)
Stand up for equity for the fatherless (4:127)
Be witnesses to God (4:135)
Bear tidings to the munāfiqūn (4:138)
Desist from tritheism (4:171)
[Kalalah inheritance] (4:176)
Fulfil contracts (5:1)
Assist one another to virtue (5:2)
Eat from what is caught by what you have trained of animals of prey as trainers (5:4)
When you rise for the prayer, wash the face, the hands, the arm, and the feet to the ankles (5:6)
If you are unclean, then purify yourself (5:6)
Lend to God a goodly loan (5:12)
Bury after death? (5:31)
If one wages war against God and His messenger, and work corruption in the land: Then kill them, or crucify [or put to death by stake] them, ot their hands and feet be cut off, or they be banished (5:33)
Seek to Him the means of approach (5:35)
[Punishment for stealing] (5:38)
Let ahl al-injīl judge by what God sent (5:47)
Take Him, His messenger, and those who trusted as allies (5:56)
Be moderate (5:66)
Prevent one another from performing perversity (5:79)
Eat of what God has provided from what is lawful and good (5:88)
[Oath expiation] (5:89)
Avoid khamr, games of change, altars, and divining arrows (5:90)
Bear responsibility for yourself (5:105)
[Testimony after death] (5:106)
Listen (5:108)
Travel in the Earth to see the final outcomes of the deniers (6:11)
Use reason (6:32)
Call to Him (6:41)
Humble yourself (6:43)
Turn in repentance after committing evil by ignorance (6:54)
Measure God with the measure due (6:91)
Preserve your salāt (6:92)
Leave those who fabricate, and what they fabricate (6:112)
Eat over which His name has been remembered (6:118)
Leave the outwardness and the inwardness of sin (6:120)
Work according to your power (6:135)
Render due on day of harvest (6:141)
Inform with knowledge when making claim (6:143)
Follow the straight path (6:153)
Dedicate your salāt, penance, your living, and your dying to Him (6:162)
Uphold countenances at every place of submission (7:29)
Call to Him sincere in doctrine (7:29)
Take your adornment at every place of submission (7:31)
Acknowledge Messengers when they come (7:35)
Call to Him humbly and in secret (7:55)
Be patient for the judgment (7:87)
Repent and believe after evil deeds (7:153)
Follow the unschooled prophet (7:157)
Forbid evil (7:165)
Use your [metaphoric] senses (7:179)
Call to Him by his names (7:180)
Call your partners and see if they respond (7:194)
Seek refuge in Him from the satan, if provoked (7:200)
Heed to the Qur’an and listen attentively (7:204)
Reserve spoils for God and His messenger (8:1)
Make right in what is between you (8:1)
Respond to Him and His messenger when He calls you to what gives you life (8:24)
Fight until no fitnah (8:39)
If they turn away know that He’s your protector (8:40)
What you obtain of spoils, a fifth belongs to God, His messenger, relatives, fatherless, the poor, and wayfarer (8:41)
If you fear treachery, cast them back (8:58)
Prepare forces and calvary to terrify them (8:60)
If they incline to peace, then incline to it (8:61)
Consume what you took of spoils (8:69)
Strive with four property and lives (8:72)
Help those who seek help within the deen (8:72)
Bear tidings to those in kufr of a painful punishment (9:3)
Kill, seize, ambush, and restrain the mushrikīn once the inviolable months have passed (9:5)
Release them if they repent, and perform the prayer, and render the zakāt (9:5)
If a mushrik seeks protection, grant it,.until he hears His words; then escort to his secure place (9:6)
Fight those who make not unlawful what is unlawful (9:29)
Fight until the jizya is payed (9:29)
Give the Rabbis and Monks tidings of a painful punishment (9:34)
Please Him (9:62)
Let them be (9:95)
Act (9:105)
Rejoice in the contracted bargain with Him (9:111)
Keep His limits (9:112)
Be with the truthful (9:119)
Fight the kufār close to you (9:123)
Be harsh with them (9:123)
Serve Him (10:3)
If they challenge the Qur’an, ask them to bring a Surah like it (10:38)
Declare yourself quit of them (10:41)
Consider that the punishment can come at any time (10:50)
Take a straight path (10:89)
Look at what is in the heavens and the Earth (10:101)
Humble yourself unto Him (11:23)
Be clement, compassionate, penitent (11:75)
Be right-minded (11:78)
Right ordering (11:88)
Watch (11:93)
Fear the punishment of the hereafter (11:103)
Uphold the prayer at both ends of the day, and at the night’s approach (11:114)
Forbid corruption (11:116)
Use reason (12:2)
Pick imprisonment over sexual immorality (12:33)
Invite to Him with insight (12:108)
Respond to Him (13:18)
Join what’s commanded to be joined (13:21)
Avert evil with good (13:22)
Find rest in remembrance (13:28)
Be patient wherein you are hindered (14:12)
Fear His station (14:14)
Speak a good word (14:24)
Leave them to enjoy themselves (15:3)
Give glory (15:98)
Warn that there is no God save Him (16:2)
Be virtuous (16:32)
Ask the people of the remembrance if you know not (16:43)
When you recite the Qur’an, seek refuge from the accursed satan (16:98)
Falsely declare things to be lawful/unlawful (16:116)
Repent, despite committing evil out of ignorance (16:119)
Invite with wisdom, comely admonition, and dispute with what is best (16:125)
Retaliate with the like of what wherewith you are harmed, save that you forgive (16:126)
Strive for the hereafter (17:19)
Good conduct to parents (17:23)
Speak to them a noble word (17:23)
Be gentle with them and make supplication for them (17:24)
Speak a gentle word to those who need charity, but you can’t provide (17:28)
Weigh with the straight balance (17:35)
Recite the Qur’an (17:45)
Say that which is best (17:53)
Uphold the prayer at the merging of the sun until the dark of the night (17:78)
Recite at dawn (17:78)
Keep a vigil with some of the night (17:79)
Ask God to cause you to enter a true entrance and to leave at a true exit (17;80)
Declare that truth has come, and vanity is to pass (17:81)
Declare Him a sufficient witness (17:96)
Perform salāt at a medium volume (17:110)
Whoso wills, let them believe – and vice versa (18:29)
Be steadfast in His ‘ibādah (19:65)
Eat and attend to your cattle (20:54)
Give glory before rising of the sun, before it’s setting, some of the night, and at two ends of the day (20:130)
Extend your eyes towards what has been granted to others (20:131)
Call in hope and fear (21:90)
Be a righteous servant (21:105)
Feed the unfortunate poor (22:28)
Make an end of unkemptness (22:29)
Fulfil vows (22:29)
Walk around that ancient house (22:29)
Honour the sacred things (22:30)
Avoid false speech and abomination of idols (22:30)
Incline to Him (22:31)
Honour the tokens of God (22:32)
Sacrifice at ancient house (22:33)
Remember His name over camels when they are in lines (22:36)
When their flanks collapse, eat thereof and feed the reticent poor and the beggar (22:36)
Be in ruku’, and sujood (22:77)
Be a mu’min (23:1)
Be humble in salāt (23:2)
Preserve chastity (23:5)
Preserve your salawāt (23:9)
Leave them in their flood of ignorance, for a time (23:54)
Have a heavy balance (23:102)
Lash the unchaste woman and the unchaste man each with 100 lashes, have no pity on them, and let it be witnessed by mu’minūn (24:2)
Lash those who accuse chaste women with insufficient witnesses with 80 lashes, and never accept them as a witness (24:4)
If you, as a visitor, are asked to leave, then leave (24:28)
If you are a man, lower your gaze (24:30)
As a woman, you should also lower the gaze, you must additionally not reveal adornment except what I’d apparent, and you should cover the bosom [except to listed people] (24:31)
Give in marriage the unmarried (24:32)
Abstain if you find not marriage (24:33)
Emancipate those who seek it, if there is good in them, and give them of your wealth (24:33)
Declare allegiance (24:51)
If you are part of one’s right hand possessions, or one who has not reached puberty yet, then – ask permission before entering at the three times of their nakedness (24:58)
Greet with a greeting from God (24:61)
Rest at night (25:47)
Walk modestly (25:63)
Speak peace when addressed by ignorants (25:63)
Spend the night standing and in sujūd (25:64)
Seek a middle ground when spending, if you must (25:63)
Pass by vain speech with dignity (25:72)
Request to Him that your wives and progeny be made a comfort, and make you a good model (25:74)
Obey the command of the committers of excess (26:151)
Warn relatives (26:214)
Help people out (28:25)
Seek provision with Him (29:17)
Discover how He originated creation (29:20)
Reflect within yourself (30:8)
Provide to MMA (30:28)
Set yourself towards the right natural deen (30:30)
Desire His face (30:38)
Prepare for yourself (30:44)
Grateful to parents (31:14)
Be modest in walk (31:19)
Lower the voice (31:19)
Fall in sujūd when reminded of proofs (32:15)
Forsake your bed (32:16)
Call the adopted children by their fathers (33:5)
Take the messenger as a model
Stay within houses [prophet wives] (33:33)
Give glory morning and evening (33:42)
Give those whom you divorce before consummation provision (33:49)
[Historic conduct regarding prophet’s house] (33:53)
Greet the prophet with a valuation (33:56)
Women draw down over themselves some garments, for recognition (33:59)
Stand up for God in twos and alone, then reflect (34:46)
Let the workers work (37:61)
Remember David, the repentant (38:17)
Be humbly obedient in the watches of the night (39:9)
Hope for His mercy (39:9)
Expand your breast to submission (39:22)
Experience a positive reaction to the Qur’an (39:23)
Come with the truth and live in accordance to it (39:33)
Follow the best of what is sent down (39:55)
Invite to your Lord (41:33)
Grow not weary in giving glory (41:38)
Take the Qur’an as a healing (41:44)
Defer disputes to His judgement (42:10)
Uphold the Deen (42:13)
Be in dread of the hour (42:18)
Love your kin (42:23)
Avoid enormities of sin and immorality (42:37)
Conduct affairs by mutual consultation (42:38)
Help yourself when insolence visits (42:39)
Remember His favour once settled on cattle (43:13)
Watch for the day of the obvious smoke (44:10)
Watch (44:59)
Forgive those who look not for His days (45:14)
Follow the sharī’a (45:18)
Keep to the path (46:13)
[Say what is mentioned upon reaching fourty] (46:15)
Believe in what was sent down upon Muhammad (47:2)
Smite the necks of those in kufr when in battle (47:4)
Grace or ransom war captives (47:4)
Help Him (47:7)
Be obedient (47:21)
Consider the Qur’an with care (47:24)
Sue for peace when you have the upper hand (47:35)
Honour the messenger (48:9)
Be hard against those in kufr (48:29)
Lower voice in presence of messenger (49:3)
Verify the report of a perfidious one (49:6)
Make right between groups of mu’minūn (49:9)
Fight the oppressive group (49:9)
Make right between brothers (49:10)
Preserve modesty and duties (50:32)
Give ear with a conscious mind (50:37)
Glorify at the ends of the sujūd (50:40)
Listen for the day that the Caller will call from near (50:41)
Sleep little of the night (51:17)
Ask forgiveness before break of day (51:18)
Give glory when arising (52:48)
Give glory at the retreat of the stars (52:49)
Remember the ayah of the ark (54:15)
Remember the Qur’an, which is easy for remembrance (54:17)
Remember destruction of sects (54:51)
Fear His standing (55:46)
Aim to be of the sābiqūn (56:10)
Touch the Qur’an only when purified (56:79)
Aim to be of the muqarrabūn (56:88)
Fight before victories (57:10)
Lend to Him a goodly loan (57:11)
Compete for forgiveness (57:21)
Observe good/neutral innovations with due observation (57:27)
If you go back on what you have said, then free a slave before touching [other circumstances in next verse] (58:3)
When engaging in private conversation, don’t allow it to be of a sinful kind (58:9)
Make room in the assemblies when instructed; arise when instructed (58:11)
[Charity before conversation with messenger historically] (58:12)
What the messenger gives you, take it [and opposite] (59:7)
Protect from avarice of the nafs (59:9)
Look to what you have sent ahead for the morrow (59:18)
Take Abraham and his companions as good models [see full verse] (60:4)
Examine the emigrated women, to determine their faith; if they are mu’mināt, send them not back (60:10)
Return the mahr to those whom have had wives flee to kuffār (60:11)
Fight in compacted ranks (61:4)
When the call for the Friday salāt is heard, hasten to it (62:9)
Disperse upon completion, seek His bounty (62:10)
Spend before death arrives (63:10)
Beware of enemies amongst wives and children (64:14)
Listen to the Qur’an (64:16)
Count waiting period after divorce (65:1)
Turn divorcees out of house, unless they commit immorality (65:1)
Seperation to be witnessed by two just men (65:2)
If no menstruation, count three months (65:4)
If pregnant, wait until end (65:4)
Lodge then where you are, according to means, don’t press them (65:6)
Spend if they have a child, until delivered (65:6)
If they suckle, give them their reward; consult honourably (65:6)
If difficulties between you, let another suckle (65:6)
Let him with abundance spend out of it (65:7)
Fear your Lord while unseen (67:12)
Walk in the tracts (67:15)
Be patient with comely patience (70:5)
Be constant in your salāt (70:23)
Confirm.the day of judgment (70:26)
Be in dread of the punishment (70:27)
Be upright in your witness (70:33)
Preserve you salāt (70:34)
Follow the broad ways of the Earth (71:20)
Recite the Qur’an distinctly (73:4)
Devote yourself completely to Him (73:8)
Recite what is made easy of the Qur’an (73:20)
Magnify Him (74:3)
Purify your garments (74:4)
Foresake defilement (74:5)
Give food out of love of Him to the prisoner (76:8)
Seek a way to paradise (76:18)
Remember His name morning and evening (76:25)
If you have a plan then plan against Him [challenge] (77:39)
Be lowly (77:48)
Take the day as a living (78:11)
Take your Lord as a journey’s end (78:39)
Fear His station (79:40)
Let aspire those who aspire (83:26)
Let look at what you are created from (86:5)
Take heed (87:10)
Purify yourself (87:14)
Remember His name (87:15)
Look at the creation of the camel, sky, mountain, Earth (88:20)
Free a slave (90:13)
Feed in a day of starvation a fatherless relation, or a needy one in misery (90:16)
Counsel one another to compassion (90:17)
Increase the nafs in purity (91:9)
Confirm the best (92:6)
Recount His favour (93:11)
When unoccupied, make ready (94:7)
Turn your desire to Him (94:8)
Enjoin prudent fear (96:12)
Draw near (96:19)
Be pleased with Him (98:8)
Have a heavy balance (101:6)
Counsel each other to truth (103:3)
Sacrifice (108:2)
Declare that you serve not what those in kufr serve (109:2)
Declare the oneness.of Him (112:1)
Seek refuge in Him from the evil of what He created, the darkness, the blowers on knots, and the envier (113:5)
Seek refuge from the evil of the retreating whisperer (114:4)

Don’t do this:

Buy error at the price of guidance (2:16)
Make equals with God (2:22)
Deny before bringing a surah like it (2:24)
Break the agreement (2:27)
Work corruption in the land (2:27)
Deny the āyāt (2:39)
Conceal truth knowingly (2:42)
Enjoin virtue and forget yourselves (2:44)
Ask to see/interact with Him openly (2:55)
Change the saying (2:59)
Complain (2:61)
Kill prophets (2:61)
Exceed bounds / Transgress (2:61)
Transgress the Sabbath (2:65)
Ask unnecessary/excessive questions (2:71)
Assume (2:78)
Fabricate a kitāb, claiming it’s from God (2:79)
Ascribe what you know not (2:80)
Allow offenses to encompass you (2:81)
Kill amongst you and turn out of homes (2:84)
Assist in sin (2:85)
Believe in part of the kitāb and reject the rest (2:85)
Buy this life over the hereafter (2:86)
Wax proud (2:87)
Claim that your heart is covered (2:88)
Deny what God has sent (2:90)
Ignore/Deny clear signs (2:92)
Commit shirk (2:96)
Be an enemy to Him, angels, messenger, or Gabriel and Michael (2:98)
Practice sihr (2:102)
Say “attend to us” (2:104)
Ask Muhammad the same way that Moses was asked (2:108)
Exchange security for kufr (2:108)
Attempt to bring people into kufr (2:109)
Claim who enters paradise (2:111)
Hinder places places of worship (2:114)
Say that He has a son (2:116)
Follow vain desires (2:120)
Be in kufr (2:126)
Be averse to the creed of Abraham (2:130)
Die save you are submitting (2:132)
Conceal witness from Him (2:140)
Say that those matyred are dead (2:154)
Follow the footsteps of shaytān (2:168)
Commit evil (2:169)
Commit the immorality (2:169)
Follow/Trust forefathers blindly (2:170)
Eat carrion, blood, or flesh of al-khinzīr (2:173)
Eat what is dedicated to other than Him (2:173)
Buy punishment at the price of forgiveness (2:175)
Differ concerning the kitāb (2:176)
Transgress after qisās settlement (2:178)
Change the will (2:181)
Lie with women when remaining in masājid (2:187)
Consume wealth in vanity (2:188)
Bribery (2:188)
Shave head until animal is at slaughter place (2:196)
Destroy yourself (2:195)
Have sex, do perfidity, or quarrel during hajj (2:197)
Ask God to give to you in the World (2:200)
Complete the hajj in less than two days (2:203)
Destroy tilth and progeny (2:205)
Have pride in sin (2:206)
Exchange favour of God for denial (2:211)
Fight in the sacred months (2:217)
Expel those of the inviolable masjid (2:217)
Consume khamr or engage in games of change (2:219)
Marry mushrikīn until they are safe from calling to hell (2:221)
Approach women during menstruation (2:222)
Make God a cover for oaths (2:224)
Conceal pregnancy (2:228)
Take what you have given women unless they cannot uphold the limits (2:229)
Transgress the limits of God (2:229)
Remarriage not lawful till she marries someone else (2:230)
Retain women through harm (2:231)
Take ayāt in mockery (2:231)
Constrain not those whom you divorce from marrying spouses (2:232)
Allow a mothefather to be harmed by child (2:233)
Take an oath with those whom you intimated of women regarding proposal, save you speak a fitting word (2:235)
Decide upon knot of marriage until writ reaches it’s term (2:235)
Force others into the doctrine (2:256)
Hinder (2:262)
Commit immortality (2:268)
Consume usury (2:275)
Commit sin (2:276)
Conceal the witness (2:283)
Seek the interpretation of what is ambiguous, seeking fitnah (3:7)
Kill those who enjoin equity (3:21)
Say that the fire will touch for days numbered (3:24)
Take kāfirūn as allies (3:28)
Engage in scheming (3:54)
Dispute regarding what you have no knowledge in (3:66)
Clothe truth in vanity (3:71)
Seek outside the doctrine of God (3:83)
Deny after faith (3:86)
Obey a faction of those given the writ (3:100)
Be divided (3:103)
Take intimatez other than your own (3:118)
Consume usury (3:130)
Faint/Grieve (3:139)
Assume entry to jannah (3:142)
Weaken/Yield (3:146)
Be like those in kufr, who believe that different circumstances would have saved their brothers (3:156)
Coercion (3:161)
Incur His wrath (3:162)
Say with your mouths what isn’t in your heart (3:167)
Think that those killed in his cause are dead (3:169)
Fear not Satan’s allies (3:175)
Buy denial at the price of faith (3:177)
Be miserly with what God gives of His bounty (3:180)
Say that God is poor (3:181)
Having pride and pretending (3:188)
Exchange your bad things for their [fatherless] good things (4:2)
Polygamy if you fear that the fatherless will not be justly treated (4:3)
Give the incompetent your wealth (4:5)
Consume the property of the fatherless wastefully/hastily (4:6)
Try repent last minute (4:18)
Inheriting from/Constraining wiomen against their will – save that they commit fāhisha (4:19)
Take from the fortune that you gave your first wife for your new wife (4:20)
Marrying what your fathers married (4:22)
Marrying your mothers, daughters, sisters, p/m aunts, nieces, milk-mothers, milk-sisters, mothers-in-law, step-daughters under protection, daughters-in-law, being in wedlock with two biological sisters simultaneously (4:23)
Marrying married women – save MMA (4:24)
Take secret friends (4:25)
Kill those amongst you (4:29)
Consume wealth in vanity (4:29)
Wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others (4:32)
Being a conceited boaster (4:36)
Being miserly and enjoining miserliness (4:37)
Spend wealth for recognition (4:38)
Oppose the messenger (4:42)
Approaching the salāt when intoxicated or unclean – save passing by upon the path – until you wash (4:43)
Twist tongue and slander the Deen (4:46)
Beliefs in fictions and tāghūt (4:51)
Envy the bounty of others (4:54)
Referring legislation to tāghūt (4:60)
Staying behind from fighting (4:72)
Try hiding away (4:78)
Conspiring (4:81)
Leaking information regarding public safety (4:83)
Interceding in an evil cause (4:85)
Killing a mu’min on purpose (4:92)
If one greets with peace, don’t declare them a non-mu’min (4:94)
Being sedentary (4:95)
Making excuses about being oppressed, to justify wronging their souls (4:97)
Faint in seeking the people (4:104)
Advocating for the treacherous (4:105)
Argue on behalf of those who decieve themselves (4:107)
Commit an offense upon an innocent (4:122)
Make a breach with the messenger after the guidance is clear (4:115)
Following desires, changing the creation (4:119)
Incline towards only one wife, leaving the other hanging (4:129)
Distort/Evade (4:135)
Wavering (4:137)
Sit with those who discourse vainly concerning the proofs of God until they move to another subject (4:140)
Seel to decieve God (4:142)
Performing the salāt to be seen (4:142)
Public mention of evil, save when wronged (4:148)
‘Choosing’ messengers (4:150)
Ask to see God (4:153)
Be tritheistic (4:171)
Hunt when forbidden (5:1)
Violate the tokens of God, or the inviolable month, or the offering, or the necklaces, or the visitors (5:2)
Commit injustice to those who turned you out of the inviolable place of worship (5:2)
Consume the strangled, the beaten, the fallen, the gored, that eaten by the beast of prey – save what is slaughtered, that sacrificed upon the alter (5:3)
Seek apportionment by divining arrows (5:3)
Deny the faith (5:5)
Claim that God is the Messiah, son of Mary (5:17)
Claim that you are His sons and beloved (5:18)
Kill another soul (5:30)
Fear mankind (5:44)
Take the Jews and Christians as allies (5:51)
Take those who take the dīn in mockery as allies (5:57)
Take the call to the salāt in mockery (5:58)
Claim that His hand is fettered (5:64)
Forbid the good things made lawful (5:87)
Kill game when forbidden (5:95)
[Expiation for killing] (5:95)
Ask about things that would distress you if made clear (5:101)
Follow forefathers (5:104)
Declare clear signs to be sorcery (5:110)
Take Jesus and Mary as gods (5:116)
Ask for angels (6:8)
Mock messengers (6:10)
Be among the mushrikīn (6:14)
Oppose Him (6:15)
Be a wrongdoer (6:21)
Declare the Qur’an to be be legend (6:25)
Claim that there is only one life (6:29)
Denial of the meeting (6:31)
Of the ignorant (6:35)
Call to other than Him (6:40)
Take an intercessor besides Him (6:51)
Drive away those seeking His face (6:52)
Sit with those who discourse vainly concerning His proofs (6:68)
Take your deen as play and diversion 6:70)
Clothe the faith with injustice (6:82)
Deny the Writ, judgment, and prophethood (6:89)
Claim revelation (6:93)
Be deluded (6:95)
Make the jinn partners of God (6:100)
Revile those whom are called besides Him (6:108)
Seek other than Him.as a judge (6:114)
Be of the doubtful (6:114)
Obey most on Earth (6:116)
Lead astray by vain desires without knowledge (6:119)
Eat not that over which His name has not been remembered (6:121)
Assigning a share of His creation to partners (6:136)
Declaring things to be taboo (6:138)
Kill your children (6:140)
Make unlawful what He has provided you (6:140)
Commit excess (6:141)
Approach open or concealed immorality (6:151)
Follow other ways (6:153)
Wait for angels (6:158)
Divide the deen into sects (6:159)
Allow the satan to subject you to fitnah (7:27)
Commit excess when eating and drinking (7:31)
Make unlawful the adornment of God (7:32)
Sectarian zealotry (7:33)
Wax proud at proofs (7:36)
Be a mujrim (7:40)
Seek to make His path crooked (7:45)
Name names with no authority (7:71)
Scorn His command (7:77)
Approach men with lust, rather than women (7:80)
Lie in wait on the road, threatening and turning away from The Path (7:86)
Being blind to lessons (7:95)
Bribe using promise of power (7:114)
Bewitch people (7:116)
Be stubborn (7:132)
Be heedless of proofs (7:136)
Follow that path of the workers of corruption (7:142)
Take the wrong path, ignore the path of sound judgment (7:146)
Be impatient over His command (7:150)
Be a forger (7:152)
Scorn what you’ve been forbidden.(7:166)
Deviate concerning His names (7:180)
Public speech (7:205)
Dispute the truth after it’s clear (8:6)
Retreat (8:15)
Turn away when you are near (8:20)
Pretend to hear (8:21)
Betray (8:27)
Turn away from the inviolable place of submission (8:34)
Make a mockery of the salāt (8:35)
Spend wealth on turning away from path of God (8:36)
Dispute together (8:46)
Be boastful (8:47)
Let those in kufr believe that they got away (8:59)
Bear tidings of a painful punishment to the mushrikīn with whom a covenant has been made, who haven’t been deficient towards you in anything, nor assisted anyone against you (9:4)
Allow your beloved things to be dearer to you than Him and His messenger (9:24)
Allow the mushrikīn to approach the inviolable place of submission (9:28)
Take Rabbis and Monks as lords (9:31)
Wrong yourselves concerning the count of months (9:36)
Engage in their postponement (9:37)
Spend unwillingly (9:54)
Come to the prayer as an idler (9:54)
Allow their wealth and children to impress you (9:55)
Complain regarding charity distribution (9:58)
Hinder the prophet (9:61)
Enjoin perversity and forbid what is fitting (9:67)
Withhold His bounty and turn away (9:76)
Deride the believers who willingly give charity (9:79)
Remain behind due to weather (9:81)
Perform the funeral prayer for any one of them (9:84)
Staying behind due to affluence (9:86)
Make excuses (9:94)
Take what you spend as a loss, await reversals (9:98)
Take a place of submission in harm and denial (9:107)
Ask forgiveness for the mushrikīn (9:113)
Go forth all at once (9:122)
Look not for the meeting (10:7)
Neglect after being helped (10:12)
Desire for the Qur’an to be changed (10:15)
Rebel in the Earth after being delivered (10:23)
Deny before interpretation arrives to you (10:39)
Allow their speech to grieve you (10:65)
Repent too late (10:91)
Hide away (11:5)
Wish that a treasure or an angel had been sent upon him.(11:12)
Make the path crooked (11:19)
Dismiss on basis of mortality and lack of bounty (11:27)
Claim that your deity caused messenger to be touched with evil (11:54)
Follow that command of tyrants (11:59)
Heed due to their disappointment (11:62)
Decrease the measure and the balance (11:84)
Respevt others for power more than you do Him (11:92)
Rely upon those who do wrong (11:113)
Reveal dreams that could cause enmity (12:5)
Falsify evidence (12:18)
Sexual assault (12:23)
Despair of the comfort of God (12:87)
Deny physical resurrection (13:5)
Seek to hasten the evil instead of the good (13:6)
Sever what’s commanded to be joined (13:25)
Become bored when being presented with ayāt (14:9)
Threaten to expell warners (14:13)
Respond to Satan (14:22)
Speak a bad word (14:26)
Ignore similitudes (14:45)
Be of those who despair (15:55)
Refuse to provide rights and hospitality (15:70)
Build bunkers to feel secure from Him (15:82)
Make the Qur’an into parts (15:91)
Seek to hasten the command (16:1)
Be an open disputant (16:4)
Offer submission too late (16:28)
Appoint daughters for Him (16:57)
Refuse to give provision to those that their right hands posses (16:71)
Make conceptual comparisons for God (16:74)
Be a burden (16:76)
Take oaths as deception (16:92)
Take another disposer of affairs (17:2)
Being hasty (17:11)
Be perfidious (17:16)
Say “fie” to / Repell old parents (17:23)
Squander wastefully (17:26)
Be extreme on both ends of charity (17:29)
Kill your children for fear of poverty (17:31)
Approach zina (17:32)
Commit excess in lawful killing (17:33)
Walk exultantly (17:37)
Be neither loud nor quiet in salāt (17:110)
Say that you will do something later without declaring that it’s dependant upon God’s will (18:23)
Show-off (18:34)
Declare something to be eternal (18:35)
Be contentious (18:54)
Try refuting the truth (18:56)
Do shirk in the ‘ibadah of Him (18:110)
Follow lusts instead of the salāt (19:59)
Deny, then claim that you will recieve wealth and children (19:77)
Neglect the rememberance (20:42)
Carry injustice (20:111)
Oppose His command (20:121)
Have a distracted heart (21:3)
Declare the Qur’an to make no sense (21:5)
Declare yourself to be a God (21:29)
Be devoted to statues (21:52)
Divide your affair amongst yourselves (21:93)
Serve upon an edge (22:11)
Be a treacherous ingrate (22:38)
Take what Satan casts as a fitnah for you (22:53)
Seek behind relations with wives or MMA (23:7)
Declare His promise to be far-fetched (23:36)
Be self-exalting (23:46)
Divide your command into writings (23:53)
Talk to no purpose into the night (23:67)
Have a light balance (23:103)
Marry other than one unchaste or a mushrik, if you are unchaste (24:3)
Accuse chaste women without sufficient witnesses (24:4)
Love that there be spread of immorality (24:19)
Swear not to give (24:22)
Enter other’s houses without having asked leave nor greeted those therein (24:27)
Strike feet to reveal adornment [for women] (24:31)
Compel your girls to whoredom, if they desire chastity (24:33)
Submit only when the truth is to your liking (24:49)
Swear that you’d do what the messenger commands (24:53)
Slip away surreptitiously (24:63)
Be greatly scornful (25:21)
Make friends with wrong people (25:28)
Abandon the Qur’an (25:30)
Take desires as a god (25:43)
Spend extravagantly and miserly (25:67)
Bear witness to falsehood (25:72)
Disbelieve on basis of abject followers (26:111)
Build bunkers to live forever (26:129)
Lay hold as tyrants (26:130)
Cheat with men (26:166)
Follow poets (26:224)
Hasten on the evil before the good (27:46)
Commit immorality with open eyes (27:54)
Approach men with lust instead of women (27:55)
Divide and oppress people (28:4)
Seek the ignorant (28:55)
Exult in riches (28:76)
Assume that you won’t be tried (29:2)
Obey parents who compel you to shirk (29:8)
Take idols as love between you and the life of this world (29:25)
Cut off the way (29:29)
Commit perversity in your assemblies (29:29)
Continued in the comments.

I used to travel solo a lot because my husband at the time had a lot of anxiety and phobias and as time went on, our vacations became miserable. I started traveling internationally solo when we were still married and then after we separated, multiple times. I am still his carer and his mental health has sadly declined significantly over the years. I find myself giving of myself more often than putting myself first. That's kind of me. For decades.
I just got back to the US from a week in London and I have to tell you that after having traveled the last several years with my boyfriend, going by myself was so refreshing. My boyfriend and I are decent travel partners, but, there is something to be said about being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want. I was able to change my plans without having to ask anyone. I was able to create my day based on what I felt like I wanted to do that day. I didn't have to worry if other people were hungry or tired or bored. This was all about me.
I pretty much had the perfect trip. Every single day I decided what I was going to do. I took as many pictures as I wanted, I didn't feel like I was irritating anyone. I ate weird meals (I swear I had bread and dessert for lunch 3 days). I changed my plans to fit the day. It was liberating. I decided one day to go ahead and get on the train and go to Canterbury for the day. It was amazing and beautiful. There are experiences that you have by yourself that you just can't have with other people, because there's always considerations or negotiations that have to be navigated. I had actually dated a man that lived in London and I had been there many times, and the first two trips I took there were by myself. After that it was always with him. So this was just a really nice way for me to kind of get back into going to a city I loved, still seeing friends, but traveling alone.
I guess I just write this to tell you that if you've been nervous about traveling by yourself, there are so many wonderful rewards. And a special shout out to my caretaking ladies, you need to do this for yourself. Your spouses or partners may not really understand it, but it's so nice to do something just for you. For once.

For context before I talk about recent events I just want to say my MIL and I had a pretty great relationship before we got married. Up until the wedding we were fine but after the wedding everything shifted and she became distant and just negative towards me.
She never gave anyone a reason as to why she was now cold to me and I tried to at first kept being friendly but after a few years stopped because it was no use.
Anytime there was an event or holiday planned I was exclusively excluded. MIL would act surprised when called out on it then made the excuse plans were to late to be changed. This wasn't a thing of she easily forgot me since when both of my BIL's got married she did the same to the other SO's. My husband over the years has stopped showing up to most things if him and kids can go.
Over the years my husband hasn't exactly talked to his mom about any of this his main reason is MIL used to have alot of control over his childhood while his dad was away and any drop of independence/ doing things for himself MIL would apparently go on several days of arguments. The worst one he has told me is a trip him and his friends wanted to take a vacation after they graduated and MIL spent several days telling him why he can't go and how vacations were a family thing.
This time around we booked a holiday for start of the summer and haven't told anyone until mother's day when MIL brought up she was organising a family vacation for the time we already would be away. My husband told her we had other plans and couldn't change it. This started her 'But we are family' and she started crying while asking why we didn't invite her to join us. I didn't want to stay there because to me I'd seen this situation enough time that I hardly felt like she actually was crying. I told my husband we had to leave to get our youngest home to nap. Which he agreed to and we left.
Even days later my husband will come home from whatever shift with several messages from MIL about us not taking a vacation as a 'family' and we needed to talk to her about it. This is my breakingpoint and I asked my husband why he can't do anything about it.
He told me he really doesn't know how to deal with him. He admitted to dealing with the people he deals with everyday at work then his own mom.
The thing I'm dumbfounded about it and like to add is how much she will cut me out of everything but will do the whole 'But we are family' everytime I plans things for my family. Ever since 2020 and we have cut back on alot of things it's a problem 3-4 times a year.

I’m not a varsity player nor a basketball player that plays on officiated games. I’m just simply a “runs” baller if you guys know what i mean. I injured my mcl during our runs. When i crossed over my opponent he hit my quads and it affected my right knee. I love the game of basketball, i really do. Summer is just getting started, and i actually planned my summer. I always tell to myself that i’ll spend the rest of my summer playing basketball with my friends and improve myself and be physically active. Unfortunately, it cannot happen anymore. I’m so fucking sad because basketball is my outlet. Everytime i’m stressed with academic stuff, i always clear my mind while playing basketball by myself. But to realize and accept the reality that i cannot play for some time, it is so hard.
You see, I’m about to go to college soon. I wanted to spend my last high school vacation playing basketball because i know for sure once im in college i won’t have time to play basketball. That’s why it’s so sad to think that i can’t even play for the rest of my vacation. Once im done recovering, im already in college. My buddies are also going to college soon so it’s supposed to be our last days of playing hard and enjoying our youth, but i can’t even join them now.
Can you guys suggest what to do during recovery? How to deal with it mentally? I don’t want to spend my vacation stucked in my room playing video games and doing nothing but i cannot play physical sports. I’m so limited to the point that i don’t even know what to do anymore.

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I know in other threads about the movie, a lot of people are expressing concerns Inside out 2 may retcon some elements of the first movie. I thought about it and came up with a theory on how the movie may handle the whole thing without ruining the premises built previously.
My theory is that the movie will show the transition from childhood to adulthood emotions and how the main 5 become what we see in the adults head.
Think of it this way. Children's emotion are often over the top. They express joy/sadness/disgust/feaanger very outwardly (crying when losing a game or having a tantrum, being too honest when they don't like something when it is not appropriate or "brutally honest"). On the other end adults are a lot more "nuanced" as seen by how the parents emotions are organized and how they are placed. The mom having sadness in the middle or the dad having anger in the middle doesn't necessarily mean they are depressed and angry all the time and is what defines them. It's just that their core emotions have become more nuanced in how they affect their behavior and build their personality as seen translated in how they act on the outside in the story. When anger introduces Riley to the" idea" it is comically simplistic and childlike "I am depressed in the new place and have a hard time i don't feel happy anymore, i was happy in minessota so I should go back there so I can be happy again", in reality this is a lot more complex than this and just running away without parents isn't going to achieve what they think, but this is the mind of a child and to some extent teenagers but with different emotions or life events.
Now teenagers, puberty... that's a mess and the transition from how emotions affect us as children and adult is comprised of very complex emotions who take over but should be managed over time as you grow into an adult. Ideally those emotions are absorbed by the main five as the person grows into an adult and becomes a lot more nuanced overall, adults rarely cry over losing at a game, they are disappointed but act mature and congratulate their opponent and think of how they can do better next time. When adults have tantrums like children it is seen negatively and as the result of a "problem", adults do cry but for more specific reasons (death) and is a lot more subtle. Children need the guidance of adults to not act out ostentatiously in these times or to be calmed down. This applies to every other emotion, children often require the guidance of an adult to act within acceptable social boundaries, this is why as a parent we explain that it is not okay to point at another person and say out loud "look they have a huge pimple on their face" or to contain themselves and still be able to interact with a person whose feature makes them uncomfortable, it doesn't mean they are bad people we should avoid. As adults we have absorbed anxiety or embarrassment so that's why I tell my kids ahead of time that I expect them to behave a certain way, I have learned to anticipate to comfort them as to what they should expect and act accordingly to expectations.
Ideally, anxiety should not remain in the control room but absorbed by fear and become a more nuanced fear that doesn't act out like a teenager. When anxiety overstays its welcome it constitutes a "general anxiety disorder" but most well balanced adult do not have GAD but have anxiety like before a job interview or smth which is normal. Children shouldn't experience anxiety as their fears are much more concrete/survival (not jumping of a cliff or put themselves in danger) or fantasy (monsters under the bed etc...). Children mostly live on the day to day stuff and the not so distant past and rarely think about any event not so close in the future when it is too distant they lose interest or excitement temporarily or it isn't as strong until it comes closer (being excited about Christmas or Bday while on the contrary adults have more control in how they anticipate and keep the excitement future events far in the future such as planning a wedding or a big vacation sometimes years down the line).
I know we have seen the combined emotion memory in the previous movie but I think since the sequel will cover the teenage years and the transition to how these combined emotions act out (because even combined they remained simplistic in nature in a child's brain) and come to be that the temporary introduction of negative emotions as their own doesn't necessarily retcon what we saw in Inside out. Sometimes teenagers seem to have regressed (don't angry teenagers act like bit more sophisticated toddlers or that the smallest thing embarrasses them?) and have forgotten the lessons parents have taught them in the way they act, parents lose influence on teenagers who also look more to their peers.
Those new emotions and the movie should portray that ideally because teenage years are difficult and I see the imagery of new emotions being their own selves and ending up being managed by the main ones to a point they are disappearing but not completely a good way (they do not fully control the person anymore) as to how the movie could go, if it is the way it goes which is speculation at this point. Obviously my observation on children, teenagers and adults are based on neurotypical people and excludes extreme situations such as a traumatic childhood, abuse etc... which I am not sure a Disney/Pixar movie will touch on directly due to the age of its core audience.

We are taking a big family vacation later this year and I’m wondering how everyone handles vacations with adult children to make sure it’s fair.
My daughter is a recently engaged young adult with a full time job. Officially, she still lives at home in her own “in-law suite” but she spends most of her time at her fiancés house. We always include her in any plans and have so far always covered all expenses. This will be the first vacation where her fiance has joined us and I’m wondering how everyone handles covering the costs for adults. Cover everything? Have them cover souvenirs?
My husband and I don’t have much of a “village” to help us and the few times we’ve joined his family on trips we have divided everything equally and still ended up getting messed over… like splitting the rental equally and we end up getting the couch, etc. I don’t want my daughter or fiancé to feel like vacationing with us is more of a chore than an enjoyable experience.

Where do I begin. For the purpose of this post, I will use fictious names and locations as it is ongoing, and out of respect (even though she doesn't deserve any)
My name is Daniel. I am 35 years old, and i am dying. I have a disease called systemic sclerosis. I am currently on a supplemental disability plan, until I get approved for SSI (social Security). Until then, my income is about 4K a month. I own a home but after child support and bills, NOT INCLUDING gas, food, haircuts, medical appointments, and or emergencies like my fridge just broke. (which i never go out) I am left with $260 that has to last me a month. I also have three children who I have to take care of half the time per the 50/50 agreement.
Recently, I found out my oldest, (who is 13) is not biologically mine. I decided to look into it as I had concerns for a while since my divorce as her cheating was very rampant. I also had caught her in 2017 with a man in my house, which is what prompted the divorce. But FL being a no fault state, doesn't matter. I also had to pay child support since the beginning and WHILE LEGALLY Married since 2010 because she had applied for financial support like food stamps and government assistance then. I know what your thinking. Why didnt you stop it then? I tried. You cant take yourself off child support. I also never grew up with a father and wanted that two-parent household. I don't run from responsibilities, like he did. Its how I was raised. Anyways, I married her, tried to do the right thing, she lied numerous times. she never worked, and I worked 90 plus hours a week. To look into her cheating, was impossible at the time as I was never home. and to busy providing for my family.
fast forward to now. My disease started to become worse and over three years; it didn't reveal itself until last year fully to actually pinpoint what this was. for instance, I had in 2019 pain behind my eyes and horrible headaches to the point that I thought I had MS. following year, I had trouble swallowing for 3 months. next year itching in the skin for three months. But prior, I had visited various doctors to see what was going on, each time a flare up then would last 3 to four months, which again, when you don't understand what's going on, you need to take time off to go see doctors, run tests, but this illness was and still is very elusive. with that being said I had 5 jobs since its first flare up till last year to continue to support my family and to pay child support. as of last year. I'm having trouble moving on certain days, breathing and acid reflux and muscle atrophy. (disease progression) especially when this is going on, it worsens everything as this is flared up. I was working under the table to try and make ends meet as I was paying child support still. I should add that the child support with 50/50 custody was $1029 for three kids cause I was making six figures at the time of divorce in 2018. Last year however, I couldn't work anymore, and filed for disability.
In june of last year, I had asked Susan, to get the children school supplies, (which she never does) as I was still paying at the time $1029 in child support. She said she didnt have the money despite now making 70k and her new BF living with her and is working whom she cheated on me with. With me working under the table, I bought them clothes, haircuts, school supplies (ive done every year) but then, I noticed she went on vacation to puerto rico and got a giant leg tattoo. At the time, I had already known what I had, and I asked myself why the heck am I doing this? So i turned to an attorney to get it modified. Again, this is June 20th to be exact of last year. My lawyer, stated that this was only going to be a 90 day turn around for the temporary modification then we will go for the final.
Since then, I have gone for a DNA test. I had to know. I am dying. I wanted to know. And you may judge me for this. but i have filed for disablement for paternity, meaning I am removing myself from the birth certificate. However, in the state of Florida, a mother can deny this and so can the courts. before you judge me, I have many reasons none of which have to do with him other then his mental disability (Aspergers) This illness, as days go by takes more and more from me. As previously aforementioned, I am left with 250 a month. I cannot go get a drs appointment pay for groceries or start planning my funeral which I will start making payments on soon. He also eats three times the amount that we all collectively do (Not his fault) but I have paid enough both mentally and financially. He also has trouble communicating as my suspicions is, that he was born of incest (gross) which is why I was 'chosen' to be his father at the time. Before you ask how do you know? Lets just say she had an uncle 'leave' during that time.
anyways, in February, I had the temporary modification hearing for child support and needless to say it was a circus. My doctor was subpoenaed to be there by my attorneys request to better my argument, even though I felt we didn't need her, she advised me to have my doctor there. Well, he attorney attacked my doctor and me for an hour and 40 mins when the court case was only supposed to go for an hour. He said "you saw another dr Max so and so and they said it was all in your head" (again I had flare ups on a illness that hadnt revealed itself correctly since last year). So there argument was that I was doctor seeking to avoid child support. After I have paid for 13 years never missing a payment. Her lawyer also targeted people who are living with me. Now I'll admit that I said they were friends which is true but how else can I pay for my attorney? Cant work, cant sell drugs, cant rob a bank? So they want to take there income into consideration. BS. She also hired a private investigator to watch me exercise outside and stated that because I can exercise, I can work..... Ok. Where's the 23 hours of the rest of the day watching me in pain. or when do you have me on video of a flare up from this terminal illness? (that's what I wanted to say)
Although I was granted the temporary modification, of $209, I left the court thinking wow, this woman can cheat, commit paternity fraud, not give two craps about our children, live with her mom in a section 8 home, and here I am doing whatever I can and I've done nothing wrong but be lied to and this is how my government, my country treats me? No wonder men my age dont have children this is insane. The paternity issue wasn't even brought up they said that this isnt the place for this and that the disestablishment will be another trial for those wondering. My lawyer only spoke for 5 mins. Asking her about her income cause thats the only thing that has changed since 2018 since she didnt work at the time. Other than that, it was an attack on me and my disease arguing my ability to work.
after leaving that, I didnt eat for 96 hours. I have since been crying nonstop. Compilating suicide. I am already heart broken about my son not being mine. Sure does a terminal illness make me said, no question everyday. But a life wasted on another? Cause I decided to be a man and take up responsibility? thats soul crushing. And to say "well, there is a big chance the courts will deny your request' thats BS. If i go to prison because I was accused of a robbery for 13 years, and DNA evidence proves I wasnt there, I get out of jail and can sue. This is no different. If anything, DNA evidence needs to be more of a factor in family law than in almost every court of law if not as equally important. My bad for not investigating her infidelity not only in the beginning but also in the end. How about not being a POS. sorry rant over
gets better. Her mom and dad smoke in the section 8 house, kids reek of cigarette smoke and marijuana, all day. they dont take showers there, they were hand me down clothes, they live in the garage shared with there mother, that isn't air conditioned. and he makes only a few thousand less than I do a month. She stated in court that she pays her mom $500 in rent which is BS, she is only doing that now so that she makes herself look bad. I know she is doing pills, like oxy and what not. Id love to prove it.
after the temp hearing, in april, I had to go to court to contest my drivers license suspension as I hadn't paid child support since, august of last year. again, there is no way, I can pay my bills, feed my children, go to the doctor, pay my lawyer to end all of this BS and pay the current child support amount. and again, this final hearing is still not set yet. So they intercepted my tax return, even though the temporary modification was approved, the final is what gets it retro backed to the date of filing, so they took, a much needed 5500 tax return from me. I needed that cause one of the issues I failed to mention as well, hurricane Ian has destroyed my home and I'm still going through that process too. not to mention I am on payment plans with Mayo clinic and other various medical facilities. (no one cares) but the interest that accrues, makes it impossible to catch up. also, Florida department of rev is overstepping I feel, and asking for medical info to be sent to them as well as updated doctors letters to be sent saying that I am still on disability.
a few weeks ago, I got an email from my lawyer having a withdrawal notice from her lawyer. in the withdrawal, he stated that he cannot represent her, due to something she may have withheld or lied about (more or less wasn't worded like that but you can tell). In feb court appearance they never produced the PI report, or videos, they had medical info they shouldn't have had, and they had very outlandish comments about my lifestyle. So my lawyer filed immediately a motion to compel. meaning, we want to see everything you have on my client. this was filed almost immediately after court appearance on feb 20th. Susan has failed to provide any updated info requested by my attorney so on june 18th, we have that upcoming hearing.
in the mean time, I have sent my lawyer, a very heavily requested topics, such as "where did they get my medical records, if those were lies, what are the consequences if any"? What did exercising have to do with any of this despite various drs saying he has to or he will get worse.
I know wat you must be thinking, what about your oldest, how can you do that to him. Please listen. This woman has taken everything from me. And i mean everything but the roof over my head. I am seeing a therapist to help with the suicidal thoughts. it isnt enough. the reality of it is, I chose to be loyal and it bit me in the butt. This disease will rob me of everything, my teeth will fall out ( I had 5 cavities last time I went to the dentist) I haven't had a cavity since I was 30 and even then I was suspicious. And I am brushing 5 time s a day to save them. My skin is tightening, and my arms and muscles are wasting. I will literally be left with nothing. My organs will also start to harden, and I will have to start getting around the clock care.
I forgot to mention they (child support) recently, sent a letter to SSI (social security) saying that they would garnish my SSI before I even got it, totaling $1029. the incorrect amount. I sent this to my lawyer and she is looking into it. But it shows that child support will overstep and breaks every law or freedom you may think you have. I DO take care of my children. if they need a haircut i do it, school supplies clothes, anything I do it. And I do it, cause she wont. What I want to leave you with, is that woman can be dead beats too. Child support was designed to have woman off of government subsidized programs like section 8 food stamps and what not. Also to make the man pay for their children man or woman I should say, I know this. I am not running from my obligation. I just want Susan, to have to pay for what's she's done to me and the kids.
I would like to hear your thoughts on this, please comment and share, all names are fake, but everything else is unfortunately real. I know it was wordy, but I wanted to provide as much backstory as possible. And please. Respect my descions. When you are end of life, I hope someone would be kind enough to respect yours. You may not agree and that's ok, but I am asking you to respect them. Thank you for reading.

Throw away account for this story. This is pretty massive, but bare with me, its all relevant. Names are obviously changed. Most of the people in this story are late 20s, to mid 30s.
So sit down. Buckle up and enjoy (i guess?)
Let's call this guy Zack, he was my best friend for almost 10 years. Zack was engaged to Emma for several years, and they had started dating shortly after Zack and I became friends. I had a boyfriend, Murray. Murray had also been part of this friend group for a similar length of time, but I'd only recently started dating him. During the pandemic Zack, Emma and me all moved in together. At the time of moving in together I had been with Murray for about 10 months or so.
When we moved in together Emma's behaviour became quite passive aggressive or even outright aggressive towards me. At the time I had asked Zack multiple times if Emma had a problem with me. He'd always come back to me later saying she didn't have a problem with me, and thought I was nice, but the response never sat well with me considering her attitude towards me.
Looking back on it I reckon her behaviour towards me was triggered by Zack's behaviour. Zack often made comments about how he found me really attractive for years, but I had always brushed him off. But Zack had started making "jokes" about us having a threesome (Usually me joining Zack and Emma) - in front of his fiance, in front of our mutual friends, in front of Murray. I'd made it explicitly clear that I was not interested in him and had even told him multiple times "I consider him like a brother", that the threesome "jokes" were making me really uncomfortable BECAUSE I am not interested in him and they had become EXTREMELY frequent.
This eventually culminated with Emma absolutely cracking the shits with me one day and screaming at me completely upprovoked. This was the first time Zack had personally witnessed her completely unprovoked aggressive behaviour towards me. This was also not the first time Emma had triggered my PTSD/trauma. Emma then gave me the silent treatment for two whole weeks (vacating rooms if I entered, literally ignoring me around the house etc)
After this, Zack and Emma had a lot of arguments (they had arguments before this as well) and Zack broke up with Emma. She shouted and screamed at him during their arguments, even before her last outburst at me (I hid in my room during this due to past trauma/PTSD). A few of them we had comforted each other afterwards (IMO as a friends) - we would sit and talk to each other about what had happened. Emma eventually moved out, about a month later because she just could not be a civil housemate towards me.
At this point it was just me and Zack living in the house, we'd watch TV shows together while eating dinners together. For me the logic was if we're ok with sharing dinner it'd be cheaper rather than buying AND cooking seperate meals - and I'd even shared this logic with Zack and he agreed. We also enjoyed the same shows - like I said we were best friends for almost 10 years, so what's wrong with watching TV shows you and your housemate/friend both like together?
This is where things really start getting spicy, because I discovered the utterly manipulative machinations Zack had been pulling, and the extent that he had gone through. It was actually horrifying to discover the lengths Zack had gone to and to find out exactly what he had been saying to other people.
After breaking up with Emma, Zack was out dating and seeing a bunch of other people and even dating a few people online. And commenting on how attractive he found some of our mutual friends. Not my business what he does - just an interesting point worth knowing considering what is to follow in this story.
Zack had been angling that Murray was a really bad partner for me. Pointing out some frankly really stupid shit about Murray to me at an ever increasing frequency. Granted some of it was valid... but also not my problem. As in not "hey you need to break up with your partner", but "this sounds like a you problem" valid.
Things like making inappropriate jokes, sharing very dark or explicit memes and photos on the discord Zack ran. Zack didn't want that stuff on his discord, which is fair... But not a break up worthy problem for my relationship? At one point Zack informed me he made me a mod on his discord to "manage Murray". At the time I was like yeah whatever, if I get @ I'll deal with it. I was never @ about anything on discord. I was not actively reading what happened or monitoring chats - and I had told Zack this when he made me a mod. I'm pretty sure Zack only did this to try and "expose me to Murray's behaviour". Whenever Zack came to me complaining about Murray's behaviour in the Discord - I told him it's his Discord, if he's breaking your rules, he doesn't need my permission if he feels Murray needs to be booted or banned for breaking his rules. Murray was never banned, though he did get muted a few times. At some point Zack removed me as a mod lol.
Zack also started complaining that Murray was sending him stuff in his DMs. Let's be real here - Zack had told him to DM him stuff rather than sharing it in the Discord, because while he did not want it on his discord, he thought the stuff Murray would said was fucking hilarious. Apparently he'd been seen looking at some of these NSFW messages from Murray at work. I asked Zack why he was opening up Murray's messages at work when he knows 90% chance its probably an NSFW image or meme. Murray also DMs me A LOT of these memes, pictures etc. - he would just find stuff and share it with people he thought would find it funny or interesting - so it's not like I didn't know/see the content of what was shared.
Zach would also complain that Murray would repeat himself if he wasn't heard/didn't get a laugh to something he said the first time around during conversations. Again. Not break up worthy behaviour? Like. Who doesn't repeat themselves if they weren't heard the first time around?
I'd also noticed that Zack had also started saying stuff like "So and so talked to me and they aren't happy with Murray". I will note none of these people, mutual friends, had said anything to me. I later pieced together from talking with people that Zack's strategy was approaching a person in DMs about an issue with Murray and if they had seen it. Said person would respond oh yeah sometimes (or whatever response it might be), and then Zack could take this response to another person and say "so and so came to me about Murray about x, have you had any issues" - and so forth until he could say "hey a bunch of people have this "problem" with Murray". This was pieced together well after I found out what Zack was doing.
Eventually I confronted Zack, asking him if he had a problem with Murray. I got "Murray is great, hes a good friend, I dont hate him etc etc". Again this was an answer didn't sit well with me. If he's a good friend and doesn't have a problem... Why did Zack constantly complain about so many issues he had with Murray?
A few days later I was catching up with another close friend, Mel. I asked if she thought Zack had an issue with Murray. And OMG did Mel unload. I was absolutely shocked and Mel was very apologetic that they had not said anything until now.
Apparently Zack had been making MULTIPLE private chats with a lot of mutual friends and had been trying to triangulate almost everyone I knew into breaking up my relationship with Murray. Zack had in his mind that I was in love with him, that I was in denial for my feelings with him. That I was constantly flirting with him. And had even frequently bought up that "once Murray was out of the way, then Zack could finally settle down with me and start a family" and that "He can see a future with me". And I'm not going to lie... not just friends I'd see regularly... but I had asked a few friends I hadn't had much contact with for a very extended time... and they showed me conversations of the above of Zack trying to convince people how horrible Murray was in an attempt to try and triangulate these people against Murray as well.
I felt utterly disgusted - not only for finding out Zack was ACTIVELY trying to break my relationship up, get everyone to try and isolate Murray out of the friend group, but he was also sharing very private stories that should be my story to tell people. When I say private. I mean stories of Murray and I having sex together - that I had shared with some friends, including Zack. I didn't even get to tell MY STORIES to Mel first, but also realising... how many mutual friends (close or otherwise) had Zack told his version of the story to that makes Murray look really bad? But also makes me look really bad too because how the stories would be framed/told?
And this is where the comments about him dating other people and commenting to me about mutual friends Zack found attractive come in. He thought Mel was attractive. But never told her, BUT he had told he frequently how attractive he found me. What a wierd way to try and pick people up I guess? Mel came up with the most amazing description of Zack tho - he was just swinging his dick around and seeing what would stick.
I tried to calm down before heading home and had planned to try and approach Zack about this calmly. But the second I saw him, I just saw red and I just laid into him about what I had discovered. He just sat there and started crying. I reckon I shouted at him for a good twenty minutes because there was just so much betrayal in what he had done. I have never shouted at someone like that and I'm not proud of it.
After that over the following days and weeks... Zack tried to convince me that it was other people that were trying to break up my relationship, not him. That the other friends were "drama mongerers, shit stirrers and just liked causing problems". He also started talking a lot of crap with the intent of getting me to console him... for the behaviour he chose to enact about my relationship? He would also constantly apologise and project his own behaviour on the friends he tried to co-opt into his manipulations. Eventually I saw through Zack's manipulations and word salad and was even able to start calling him out on it on the spot/in situ. He'd look absolutely shocked and gobsmacked when I started being able to do this. For someone who could talk non-stop and endlessly, it was amazing to have the ability to leave him at a loss for words.
Due to past abuse I could feel my brain trying to just go back to "status quo" and trying to gaslight itself - sharing meals, watching TV together etc. So i'd be flipping between being neutral and being absolutely pissed off at Zack. It was an absolute mind fuck. Especially after being in a manipulative and abusive relationship in the past - but in a way, having had that past relationship - I could actually recognise what was happening now?
I told Zack he needed to move out of the house, he didn't want to "because he was happy here". I told him he's the one that fucked up so he's the one that should leave. Why should I be forced to leave and be inconvenienced further because of what he had chosen to do?
I did EVENTUALLY get him out of the house after he dragged his feet for about 6 months, and during that entire time Zack tried to sweet talk, manipulate, apologise, project his behaviour and literally every trick in the book to gloss over what he had done.
After he moved out he BANNED me, Murray and two friends he targeted heavily as the "drama mongerers" in his attempt to break up my relationship out of his discord, unfriended me on facebook and twitter etc. and started sharing a bunch of memes and things about being the victim in the face of drama/lies and stuff (and god knows what he's ACTUALLY telling people in private). He made a copy paste "apology" to the friends he'd been calling "drama mongerers" (as in he wrote one apology then copy pasted it to everyone) - absolutely insincere, lazy and and just real POS behaviour.
I also later found out he's describing me as "creating drama to get attention", and even more amazingly... is now not only moved on and dating yet another girl, but engaged to her. I feel sorry for her... because she has no idea the absolute monster she is getting involved with.
As it is. I did later end up breaking up with Murray about a year or so later, but not for anything Zack tried to make us break up for.

Just curious. Is really each one of you here into Lambos or some more conservative?
My plans are pretty boring. It's do it like with all my crypto profits. I invest a small part back into crypto and the biggest part in stocks and etfs. Well maybe this time i invest a little in a Mongolia-Tokyo trip and pay for my wife too. (Don't judge she earns more than me in her job.) I normally only use savings from my job for vacations. But f*** it why not go nuts for once?
Oh and yes i was raised by a banker haha. Trust me i wish i was in my normal life a little more consevative. Would have spared me of a lot of trouble.

My daughter is 8. The only family vacation we went on was with 2 other family members. I’m planning OUR first family vacation of the three of us. My daughter handles being an only pretty good now that she’s older, but she does have moments of being bored, she is a kid. So here’s my dilemma - do we book a condo that is attached to a free water park? Or book an air bnb that has its own pool. We are definitely introverts and would want our own pool. However, I’m trying to think if that would get boring for an 8 year old and a water park would be more fun? lol someone please tell me how a family vacation with an only is 🙏🏻 we are a family on a budget and I just want to get this right 🙃

PERSONALIA

• Age: 26
• Education: Bachelor Computer Science
• Work experience : 4.5 years
• Civil status: Single
• Dependent people/children: 0

2. EMPLOYER PROFILE

• SectoIndustry: Education
• Amount of employees: >4000
• Multinational? No

3. CONTRACT & CONDITIONS

• Current job title: Systems Administrator
• Seniority: 1 year
• Official hours/week : 38h
• Average real hours/week incl. overtime: 38h
• Shiftwork or 9 to 5 (flexible?): 9-5, very flexible
• On-call duty: No
• Vacation days/year: 38 days + collective shutdown between Christmas and New Years

4. SALARY

• Gross salary/month: €3764
• Net salary/month: €2519 (incl. €50 WFH compensation)
• Netto compensation: €50
• Mobility budget/cabike/...: €0
• 13th month (full? partial?): 67% of yearly wage
• Meal vouchers: €0
• Ecocheques: €250 yearly
• Group insurance: 5% of yearly wage
• Other insurances: Hospital insurance
• Other benefits (bonuses, stocks options, ... ): None

5. MOBILITY

• City/region of work: Brussels
• Distance home-work: +/- 1h50m
• How do you commute?: Train
• How is the travel home-work compensated: Train travel pass fully covered
• Telework days/week: 3 days WFH

6. OTHER

• How easily can you plan a day off: Very easily
• Is your job stressful?: No
• Responsible for personnel (reports): No

First of all, I’m really sorry this post is so long, though I’d like to make sure everything is covered. I’m sorry that it’s probably not really exciting, but the issue has been causing me a massive amount of hurt, so any replies and advice would be immensely appreciated. I’ll try to give as much detail as I can. Obviously, you are only hearing this from my side, but I have been as honest as possible about the following, otherwise I don’t think any advice I receive would be helpful. This is written anonymously as well, so it’s not like the people involved are going to find-out. Nevertheless, none of the names I use in this are their real ones, just in case. If you have any questions or need further details on any part of this, please let me know.
I was good friends with a work colleague, I’ll call her Robin. We were (and still are) pastoral support staff in a large sixth form college. We’re part of quite a big team and each look after a caseload of students. Being about the same age, me and this colleague naturally spent time together on breaks at work, which usually involved going out for walks or just chatting in our office, which we shared with three other members of staff, all older women. I got on well with everyone in the team, but just wasn’t as close friends with them. Me and Robin chatted a lot and joked both in person and by messages on Whatsapp. I felt comfortable sharing lots of personal things with her, such as my poor mental health and at points I was worried I’d scare her off with how much I had said, but it never did. She opened up a bit about her own mental health as well, though now I realise to nowhere near the same extent. Looking back, she was not as comfortable sharing personal details as she was with her other friends. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice this at the time, was I too self-centred, or just subconsciously focusing only on the things she did tell me?
When Robin was struggling or upset, I always made an effort to go and help or comfort her. At one time she wrote on our office’s group Whatsapp chat that she had gone to our college’s wellbeing room as she was really upset. I immediately dropped what I was doing and headed over to sit with her. Of course, I checked if she wanted me there, but she was happy that she had some company. It’s easy for me to say this as I’m writing now, but at this point I had no actual romantic feelings for her, she was just a mate. She referred to me in messages as ‘mate’ a few times, so it was clear she wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship, which was absolutely fair enough.
This went on for most of the year and at the start of the next academic year, we were in different offices. Our workplace moves the team round every year for various reasons including to get us to build better working relationships with other members of the team. My new office had two people besides myself, one an older woman and the other a new colleague, who I’ll call Sam, also about my age, who had moved departments in the college and was just starting out in our role. She had been placed in my office so that we could support her in getting used to the job.
Robin and Sam already knew each other as before Robin started the pastoral role, she worked in Sam’s department. Robin warned me to “watch my back” with Sam. Robin was never specific with what happened, just that Sam had been a bully towards her. As Robin was my friend, I took her word for it.
A while later, I was called into my manager’s office and asked if Sam was always working on what she should have been. I told her that as far as I knew she was, though I never really looked too much at what she was working on as I was busy with my own stuff. I knew that in fact, Sam was working when she could on her assignments for the part-time degree she was completing. I didn’t want to throw her under the bus for this, though. We all have times where we aren’t completely focused on our work when we should be. Robin told me afterwards it was her who had reported Sam for doing her degree work. She apologised for not giving me a heads-up before I was called into the meeting with my manager.
Sam had a discussion with one of the assistant principals where she was told off. As Robin was my mate, I promised her that I wouldn’t tell Sam or anyone else at all that she had made the report. This was tricky as our other colleagues were commenting things like “who would do that to a colleague? We’re supposed to be a team”. Robin even told me at one point afterwards that she felt like a “bitch” for doing it. I told her then that she did the right thing and that I understood her frustration at another team member not working when she worked so hard herself. Looking back, this was an awful thing for me to do and I feel really bad about it.
After a while of working in the office with Sam, I got to know her. She wasn’t anything like Robin had told me. In fact, she was an absolutely lovely person, kind, funny and although she had a reputation for being the loud, chatty and boisterous one in the group, this was a bit of a façade and she actually had some real confidence issues, as well as some mental health issues, though she never said exactly what. I slowly began to regret taking Robin’s word about Sam and for not judging her by my own experiences. Me and Sam became quite close friends. I feel it’s important to note that Sam was married and was not at all my type for a romantic partner, but we became good friends. Perhaps surprisingly, Robin and Sam became very close friends at the same time. I felt comfortable sharing some quite personal things with Sam, including some issues I was having with my mental health.
As I was single, Sam made it her mission to get me a girlfriend, which I was a bit reluctant towards at first and not convinced anything would actually succeed. Sam was very interested in gossip and good at getting secrets out of people, so she eventually found out that I had developed feelings for Robin. My feelings had appeared at some point early in the academic year that I moved into the office with Sam. I knew that me and Robin would never work. Though we were good friends, we were too different. I was perfectly happy being just mates, but the feelings were still there. Very much a heart versus head situation.
Me and a few colleagues went on a night out to a few bars and a nightclub. We all got drunk and at one point in the evening I took Robin aside and told her that I liked her. I know it’s easy to blame the alcohol but I don’t think I would have said it otherwise. I knew we would never work, so what was the point in risking damaging our friendship? I didn’t remember her reaction at the time due to the alcohol.
The next day, I really regretted my decision to tell her this. For the next few days, I was really awkward around her. I tried to subtly ask if she remembered me saying anything to her that night, but she said she didn’t. I also tried asking another one of our work friends, Bethany, as well as Sam, both of whom were on the night out. I was good friends with Bethany and had been open to her about my feelings for Robin. Sam said that Robin really couldn’t remember much, as she was so drunk at the time. Bethany, however, said that Robin had told her that she thought I had “told me he liked me”, but that she wasn’t certain due to being drunk and having a patchy memory of the evening. During this conversation with Bethany, she advised I come clean as it was the right thing to do. I agreed and the same evening I wrote a message saying that I had said those things and that although I didn’t expect anything to happen as a result, I would understand if she wanted to distance from me. Robin replied after about half an hour, which I can tell you felt like an eternity.
The response was lovely, thanking me for my honesty and saying that she would never want to distance from me. “First of all, there is absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t upset me or offend me in any way. I honestly couldn’t remember if something was actually said or not. Secondly, I know that you’re such a kind and genuine person that I would never think you’re friends with me because you were simply trying to get into a relationship with me. I value you so much. This doesn’t make me annoyed in anyway at all. You haven’t damaged our friendship at all”. I replied “Thank you for that. You are really too kind-hearted for your own good”. She replied with “No need to say thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth and being honest. I really appreciate it. I would never want to distance from you”.
This made me feel much better. A few days later at the weekend we had arranged to go out as a group with colleagues. Me and another colleague, Carl, were the only two guys going and he ended up dropping out last minute. I got a Whatsapp message from Robin apologising and asking if it was okay for me to not go as well, as it was originally meant to be a girly night out anyway before inviting me and Carl. I told her that was absolutely fine with that and that there was no need to apologise and that I hoped they enjoy the evening. I was fine with this at the time, though there was naturally the worry that I was being uninvited due to Robin now knowing I had feeling for her.
However, when I told some of my non-work friends that I had been asked not to go, they immediately thought this was absolutely horrible of them towards me, regardless of if I was the only guy going with the group. I’ve told a few more people about this (as well as that I had admitted my feelings to Robin) since then and everyone has had the same reaction. At first, I tried defending my colleagues (as I genuinely would have preferred not to not go at the time), but I came to consider that my friends were right and this wasn’t an acceptable way to treat a mate. As I’m writing this, I still don’t know how I feel about what they did. Was I just blind to it due to my feelings for Robin and preferred to only see the good things in her? Was I just deluded in the belief that my friends would never do something horrible towards me?
The weeks and months after that, I gradually came to feel as though I was being left out of the group of my work friends. It is important to note here that at some point during this time, Robin got a new boyfriend, Jack. Of course, this was absolutely fine and really gave me a good amount of closure on the situation and any feelings I had remaining for Robin. I understand that some of Robin’s avoidance of me may have been to protect me from being upset by this, though it really was not necessary.
There were lots of things that happened to cause me to feel excluded in these months, of which the following are a few examples. I would see Robin, Sam and Carl often go out for walks during their lunch breaks, without inviting me. On one occasion they invited me out with them after I saw them leaving, but this felt like they were only doing it because I had seen them. They would have messaged me or stopped by my office to see if I was free if they actually desired me to be there. Another time, I was asked when I was free during the school holidays and after I answered, the group specifically arranged a meet-up time that I couldn’t make. On another occasion, I was very excited to go to a musicals-themed quiz night hosted at our college, as I love musicals. I said I would be interested in going, if others in our group were, but no-one said they did. However, Robin told me the next day that they did go, but it was last minute so they didn’t have time to ask me. They could have sent a message or came to my office, so I don’t understand how this was a problem.
Whenever I asked to go on walks with people or arrange things outside of work, either in-person or on our Whatsapp group, my colleagues never seemed to be available. What I noticed when other colleagues asked the same things, was that people were either more available, or if they weren’t available, they would suggest another time. They didn’t do this when I asked. I eventually gave up asking. It was pretty humiliating to be repeatedly turned down on a groups chat.
The college held an event one evening, which involved a meal at the site. My colleagues were going, so I decided to go along as well. I had been the previous year to the event and had really enjoyed it. However, this one ended up really upsetting me. Before the meal, there was a talk in our lecture hall. I was the first of my colleagues to enter and saved them a row of seats towards the back of the room (near the entrance). However, all seven of my colleagues who were there walked straight past me. If it was one or two it might be possible that they just didn’t see me, but all seven of them? I highly doubt it. For the meal, I was the first of the group to arrive again to the room, so claimed a table. When the others arrived, they all sat on the table next to mine. They said to pull our two tables together so I could sit with them, which we did, but the seven of them crowded onto their own table, whilst I was sat on my own. The colleague sitting closest to my table also fully turned their back to me, so it felt as though they were excluding me and making it difficult for me to engage in conversations. Throughout the evening, I tried to chat with each of my colleagues, but every time was either met with a one-word answer, or a quick acknowledgement, then they would move on to speak with someone else on the table. It felt like they asked to pull the two tables together so it looked like they were making an effort, but everything else indicated they wanted nothing to do with me. Carl was the only one who actually engaged me in a conversation, as we waited in the line for food, though it was just me and him at this point (the others had got their food already and were back at the table).
There was the occasional time where I was invited to something, but with the feeling of being avoided on the vast majority of occasions, it very much felt like it was just out of pity or an excuse to say that the group made an effort to include me. One time, we went out for coffee after work. I was invited by Sam, but when I turned up, Robin and Carl both seemed very surprised to see me there. On another occasion, we went out for food. On this event, it was very clear that Robin had feelings for Carl. She was quite ‘touchy-feely’ with him and was taking selfies with him, but no-one else. I wasn’t the only one of us to notice. In Sam’s words, she was “all over him” and she actually had to tell Robin to back away from Carl a bit, as Carl was already in a long-term relationship. Was this actually just Robin sending a message to me that she wasn’t interested in me? Or I am just being too self-centred there? It was certainly very hard and quite upsetting for me to sit there with them, bearing in mind I still had feelings for Robin at this point.
The difficulties with all these is that, on their own, each one of the examples of being left out can just be explained as bad luck, bad timing, or a one-off. However, the fact that these things kept happening led me to believe that the group were actively excluding me. This went on for a few months. This led to my self-esteem and mental wellbeing being completely wrecked. I thought I was a terrible person, a waste of space, a creep and that people would be better-off without me. I won’t go into details but I got to a really low point. I ended up speaking with my GP, going onto anti-depression medication and attending counselling sessions. I know I should have communicated with my colleagues earlier, but could never bring myself to. I have severe social anxiety and do whatever I can to avoid conflict, even if that means suffering myself.
Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. Not being able to focus on anything but the worry and the almost physical pain of the anxiety, every single day, was horrible. On the advice of another work colleague and a friend, both of whom I had been very open with, I decided to speak to Robin. I asked if we could have a quick chat alone and she said that was absolutely fine. I saw her at the end of one of her lessons. It was really tricky at first, I could feel my hands shaking with the nerves. I told her that I didn’t mean to sound accusing, even though it would probably sound like that and that whatever was said, I wouldn’t get upset and didn’t intend for her to be upset, all I was seeking with honesty and clarification. I bluntly asked if the group were avoiding me. Perhaps being naïve, I honestly expected her to be surprised and say she wasn’t aware of how they had been acting towards me and the impact it was having. However, she told me that they were avoiding me.
She went on to say that when they were about to go on a walk on a lunch break a while ago, Robin had asked Sam and Carl if they should ask if I would like to go, but Sam had said “would Jack not be uncomfortable with that?”. After that, they made a point of purposely not inviting me on walks. Robin also said that she was close with Sam and Carl and they sometimes discussed things like their partners, which she thought might upset me. I reassured her that it wouldn’t, but I told Robin that these reasons were all absolutely fine and that I completely understood and thanked her for her honesty. She said that she had intended to tell me sooner, but hadn’t got round to it (yeah right, a whole year and not finding the opportunity?). I didn’t say it at the time, but I would have really appreciated if they had just told me, instead of letting me think I was an awful person and that they hated me. I’m sure anyone would feel like that if their friends started excluding them.
As we left the room, Robin said that she would like to start using the college gym and I said that I use it after work that day. She said she’d really like to join me, which made me happy and feel as though she would like to perhaps make it up to me a bit by spending time with me to show she was comfortable around me. After I met with Robin, she messaged me thanking me for my honestly and I replied thanking her for her honesty as well. Unfortunately, later in the day Robin asked to speak with me on my own. She said she had told Jack that she was going to the gym with me that evening and he was really uncomfortable with it and asked her not to go. I said that I understood and that it was absolutely fine. I asked if she had told Jack about me and that I had had feelings for her in the past, but she said she hadn’t. She said she wasn’t sure if she would tell him. I told her that I wouldn’t say anything for or against doing this as it wasn’t my decision to make, it was their relationship and that shouldn’t be influenced by what I say, though I said that it was important that you are honest with and trust each other in a relationship. She asked if I would still come to badminton with the group on Monday (which we planned for the first time that week, it wasn’t a regular thing) I did go to it and found that it was quite fun, though I was wary the whole time of the others and how they were acting towards me, so could never truly relax. It seemed as though nothing was out of the ordinary and we got on fine.
The next day, we got a message on our group Whatsapp chat from David (another colleague) saying he was going to the gym that night if anyone would like to join him. Immediately, Robin said she would come and Sam as well. I was absolutely heartbroken by this. Even though David was in a relationship and Sam was coming as well, there was either no consideration of how I would feel seeing this, or it was even possible (though I honestly don’t think likely) that it was intentional in order to make me feel excluded again. Why was Robin fine with going with Dan, but not me? Why was Jack comfortable with Dan and not me? People can still have affairs in relationships, so I don’t understand why David was safe for Robin to be around but not me. Though Sam was there as well, she only stayed for about ten minutes when we played badminton together, so was unlikely to stay long. I felt that, despite what was said to me by Robin, they still hated me and regarded me as a creep.
This, for me, was the final straw. Taken with the fact that I had it now confirmed that the group were actively avoiding me by speaking to Robin, I decided that I needed a clean break from the group. I had been thinking of doing this for months, but hadn’t seriously considered doing it until now. For once I was going to put my own wellbeing and mental health first. I decided that I shouldn’t care what the others thought of me. So, I left the Whatsapp group. I waited until the Friday of that week after work, so that people wouldn’t immediately come and speak to me, when I really didn’t want to see anyone.
I didn’t block individual people, but I received no contact afterwards. As of writing this (just over two weeks after leaving the Whatsapp group), they’ve left me alone. Hopefully they got the message that I was not interested in the group, or perhaps they were relieved that I had removed myself, rather than them having to keep secretly excluding me. Maybe they thought I just needed space. Maybe they just didn’t care. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Like trash is completely how they’ve made me feel and to be fair, they’re probably right. I’m fine with whatever. I worried about being confronted by them, either by message or in person, as I wasn’t sure what I would say. Would I just be blunt and perhaps upset them by telling them how I really felt? Or would it be best just to say I didn’t want to talk anymore? I’m still not sure what the best response would be if it came to that. Anyway, as of writing this now, none of them have spoken to me. I’m absolutely fine with that. I’ve felt a lot better, though I still wonder if I do need to speak with them to get full closure, but I think I’m happy where I am now. Perhaps some time will help.
The only contact I’ve had has been a brief chat with Carl. It was a fairly normal chat about films we had seen recently, but I told him that I had left the group (I believe only group admins get notified if a member leaves). I said that I had no hard feeling towards him and that I’m still happy to speak to him and the others and say hi when I see them around, I just didn’t want to hang out with them anymore. He said there were no hard feelings from his side either and that I would be welcome to join the Whatsapp group again if when I was ready. He said that he has left groups in the past that were not right for him, so he understood. I’m honestly not sure what to think about Carl. He’s always been very friendly with me, but on the other hand has still gone along with the others in excluding me, without saying anything.
I was done with being a friend just when it was convenient to them. People don’t just exclude people for no reason. Even without any other information or things that have happened before, or to protect me from getting upset at Robin having a boyfriend, to purposely exclude someone you claim is your friend, without telling them, is a vile and horrible thing to do. I just wish they had been honest with me so that I knew what I could repair or change about myself that made me so unlikeable to them. It’s clear that the level of friendship I held the others in the group in was not the same as they held mine in. Even when taking into account that I may be overthinking things, my friends shouldn’t be making me feel the way I did. Likewise, they shouldn’t be ignorant to how their friend may feel because of what they say or do. Friendships work both ways and I feel this wasn’t happening here. I don’t feel comfortable trusting any of them again, because I think I’ll just get hurt again. I’ve opened-up about a lot of personal things with them in the past and honestly I really regret it now.
I’m so done with putting in all the effort to be friends with them, support them when they needed it, when it all feels one-sided. I am done being made to feel like I’m hated and that I’m a creep and that I’m just an expendable person. Even if it wasn’t intentional, there was no consideration to how their actions would impact me. I know I’m not the main character in other peoples’ lives. People all have their own personal things that they are dealing with and carrying around on a daily basis. However, I believe that you should at the very least think how what you do might upset people if they are truly your friends.
There seems to be some double standards going on here as well. Why was it okay for Robin to spend lots of time alone with Carl, even though she was single, clearly had romantic feelings for him and that he had a partner, but I wasn’t allowed to do the same as it would make Jack uncomfortable? I think there some insecurity in the relationship between him and Robin, but I understand that can be completely normal in the early stages of a relationship. It just saddens me that I am not seen as trustworthy enough to be alone with Robin, even though, as of writing this, Robin says that Jack still isn’t aware of my past feelings for Robin. Those feeling were long since gone before I knew for certain that I was being excluded. Perhaps I should not have trusted Robin after how she treated Sam, but is now best friends with her.
Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Am I just being pathetic and am actually in the wrong here? What do I do now? Do I do anything at all?

Lesson Plan: "Crafting Stories Through Song Lyrics"

Objective:

Students will learn various techniques for brainstorming and crafting compelling stories through song lyrics.

Duration:

Two class sessions (approx. 90 minutes each)

Lesson Structure:

Session 1: Introduction to Songwriting and Brainstorming Techniques

1. Icebreaker (15 mins):
   
   • Discuss favorite songs and what makes their lyrics memorable.
2. Introduction to Songwriting (20 mins):
   
   • Briefly explain the importance of storytelling in songwriting.
   • Highlight the connection between emotions and lyrics.
3. Brainstorming Techniques (30 mins):
   
   • Teach students ten ways to brainstorm lyrics, including:
     • Personal experiences
     • Observations
     • Emotions
     • Imagery
     • Metaphors
     • Word association
     • Dialogue
     • Change in perspective
     • Storyboarding
     • Concept exploration
4. Group Activity: Lyric Brainstorming (25 mins):
   
   • Divide students into small groups.
   • Provide a theme or emotion, and have each group brainstorm lyrics using the techniques discussed.

Session 2: Applying Techniques and Crafting Lyrics

1. Review (15 mins):
   
   • Discuss insights from the group activity.
   • Address any questions or challenges.
2. Song Analysis (20 mins):
   
   • Analyze lyrics from popular songs, highlighting the storytelling elements.
3. Activity: Writing Exercise (30 mins):
   
   • Provide a prompt or scenario.
   • Have students individually write a short set of lyrics using the brainstorming techniques.
4. Peer Review and Feedback (20 mins):
   
   • Students pair up to review and provide constructive feedback on each other's lyrics.
   • Emphasize the importance of constructive criticism.
5. Refinement (15 mins):
   
   • Allow time for students to refine their lyrics based on peer feedback.
6. Sharing and Reflection (20 mins):
   
   • Each student or group shares their lyrics with the class.
   • Reflect on the diversity of storytelling approaches.

Assessment:

• Evaluation will be based on creativity, adherence to storytelling principles, and effective use of brainstorming techniques.
• Peer feedback and participation in discussions will also contribute to the assessment.

Homework:

• Encourage students to continue exploring songwriting by writing a complete set of lyrics for a song outside of class.

This lesson plan provides a comprehensive overview of songwriting techniques, hands-on activities, and opportunities for reflection and improvement.

Heading up to Bar Harbor with a toddler this summer for vacation. I’ve been up a few times in my early 20s, pre-kid life. What are some good things you recommend to check out while we are up there?
We are planning to hit the carriage roads with the bikes and do some easy hikes so far.

Stenographer auditor / in case of bad intention harborer / Harbinger / the bad listener's arbite unnecessarily hard on ya/ like you're part of the family/ the love showing up late uncannily/ Twins trying to play calamity/ what game he says not understanding the gravity/ Maybe just getting lost in the tapestry / his way of trying to navigate tactically / As if the key to immortality is nothing more than keeping substitutes on the faculty / Actually that'll leave you a casualty / so if they come after me frantically / That's when I show animal teeth and growl irrationally / it's a full moon unnaturally / like we planned it to be as we planted seeds tacitly / Tenacity to climb the bean stalk for some obscene talk / Climb down clean chop and watch g's squawk / Whole less fly notarized / no longer in short supply just north of why / Headed in misdirections bein' lead in by self reflections is the lesson we're tested with then / Which leads to guesswork and extra questions / who's best in / who bested/ Shit even god had a day that he rested/ even if you believe we less than/ or you think his existence is a bit of an elephant / it's irrelevant / we just wanna act in his eminence even if we ain't nearly as intelligent / and more survival on the elements / as is self evident entered evidence / Sentiment centers senselessness depenin' on whos sellin' it at least that's what I was taught center is
Got a jester's tendencies / Thinks the pageantry is peasantry/ Presently tryin to shepard me in and out of jeopardy / Balance festering / D.O.A. as of today / Now stop pestering / Ask again met with Next question-ing / And 2 for flinching Weaponry / Heavily supportive of the revelry / And can prove it readily / Not on command unless before hand you decide to credit me / And answers a few question about the telemetry / Like how high / and now why / Must I supply / the momentum to reach the sky / Say yes as a means to teach a lie / Say no as you dream to delete that guy / And divide he causes / Basic the caustics / Desire neutral on diagnostics / But wishing wells require haustus / Cost is a little Faust-ish / like Mephisto taught us If we're anything but flawless / he'll drag us back to the office / Quest for Camelot ending Devon and cornwall-ish / Started as 2 sides bickering raucous / Initially Cautious / of what each got us but equally god less / got us feeling like Holy War Generales/ holding a sword with all the notches / Turned supportive of each other like "you got this" / When being attacked is one of life's constants / You don't need calls coming from inside the house correspondents /
Smoke signals pyrotechnic hieroglyphics / Don't understand shit, but at least it light up the entrance / The fuck does that mean in the sentence / Oh.../ ...do you not derive meaning from the senseless? / Can't you see I stole new clothes made for the empress / Find me where they won't recognize the biometrics / Piece it together then disappear like tetris / Underlying bias / like standing on the shoulders of giants / Believing it was your own triumphs / Not reliance on mythical pseudoscience / And a dash of lucky timin(g)s / Defining the value were deriving / Maybe you understand why demure is left behind then / If you ain't heard of me, / guess this is where others talk precision like surgery But I'm more in your face b&e burglary / and bad doc murdery / Did I do it? Certainly / In the op room not the doc dude I'm the circus freak

Rate My Salary - IT Field + Network Engineer
PERSONALIA

• Age: 28
• Education: Bachelor Computer Science
• Work experience : 4 years
• Civil status: Married
• Dependent people/children: 1

2. EMPLOYER PROFILE

• SectoIndustry: IT Services
• Amount of employees: 20000
• Multinational? Yes

3. CONTRACT & CONDITIONS

• Current job title: IT Field Network Engineer
• Seniority: 2
• Official hours/week : 39
• Average real hours/week incl. overtime: 60
• Shiftwork or 9 to 5 (flexible?): no shift very flexible I pick my own hours
• On-call duty: Yes
• Vacation days/year: 26 days +7 ADV

4. SALARY

• Gross salary/month: 5100 Euro
• Net salary/month: 3170 Euro (inlcluding 50 euro netto compensation)
• Netto compensation: 140
• Mobility budget/cabike/...: 900 Euro/month car + unlimited Fuel/electric
• 13th month (full? partial?): Full
• Meal vouchers: 6,60/day
• Ecocheques: 250 yearly
• Group insurance: Included
• Other insurances: Included
• Other benefits (bonuses, stocks options, ... ): 2% Bonus profits once a year from company ( 10k Brutto )
• Group prime benefits 3100 Netto once a year

5. MOBILITY

• City/region of work: Brussels
• Distance home-work: 1 hour
• How do you commute?: Car
• How is the travel home-work compensated: From mobility budget
• Telework days/week: always on site, can ask 2 days per week

6. OTHER

• How easily can you plan a day off: Pretty easy
• Is your job stressful?: yes
• Responsible for personnel (reports): No

My fiancée (23F) and I (23F) are moving to a different state together this fall. For context, she knows her mother is a narc and is absolutely incredible at shutting her bullshit down. We celebrated my fiancée’s college graduation last night and I noticed something as I was doing a lot of planning and coordination for the festivities: MIL was fixated on making us late to every part of the day. 20 minutes before dinner at an extremely upscale restaurant, she tried to insist upon going to the liquor store to get shooters. My enabler father in law didn’t speak up, but I quickly booked the Uber and got us to the restaurant. Then, she tried to force us all to sit at ANOTHER restaurant so she could get a drink right away. My fiancée put her foot down at that point and MIL got visibly angry and the narcissist crazy eyes came out at not being allowed to control the plans.
This is a constant occurrence at every life event. About to leave for vacation but can’t book a ride? Bangs on my fiancée’s door an hour before they’re supposed to be at the airport at 3 am and force her to drive them while screaming at her. Brunch plans at 11? Well, it’s 10 right now, I’m just going to go for a quick walk and then shower and we can leave. About to attend something important for anyone other than her? She just HAS to go to the gym first. Or maybe play a quick round of golf. Or both!
She rushes around “doing errands” every day and often doesn’t get home after work until 8 pm most days. My fiancée and I were wondering if this is just her or if any other narcissists manifest this way as well. MIL is estranged from her other children, so we have no one to really ask.

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