I've downloaded some of the f1 mods by SuzQ but for some reason the game crashes when i try to take the cars for a spin. Does anyone know how to fix this? I've downloaded other cars before these ones and they all worked fine. Any help?

One thing my therapist said really stuck out to me - the best form of therapy for me is to play like a little kid again. Someone on the CPTSD sub told me the same thing, that they found healing by just going wild with playtime.
So far I've added regular play time at a local park after dark, bought a plush cat, remote control car, pencils and crayons, started playing UNO and Monopoly card games with my family. I kinda feel like I'm being a big kid every time I get into my car because its the type I always loved as a kid - big, loud and fast.
I took this Friday off from work and decided to make a kids day of it just for me. Roller skating is something I loved to do as a kid, so I found the closest skating rink and made the drive down. I felt a bit nervous going in - hmm, should a man in his 40's really be doing this? Screw it, I thought, and I walked up to the counter. I paid for use of the rink and skate hire. The woman at the counter was really nice about it and instructed me it's a lot like riding a bike, you never forget. Since most people are at school or work during the day, I had the rink to myself. She asked what type of music I wanted and I said 90's music - I thought it appropriate since most of my adolescence and teen years were during the 90s.
At first it felt awkward as I awkwardly crept around the rink holding onto the sides. After awhile I gained confidence and the skill to glide, circling at pace and feeling the cool air against my skin while the music and action took me back in time. It felt liberating to see and feel what I felt back then through the prism of an older and wiser head.
After that, I was a little exhausted. I'm used to exercise but not of that type. My body hurt in ways it doesn't usually! My day was just getting started though, and I decided part 2 of my day out involved bowling. Being a big kid, I felt confident I could knock a few pins over! My first effort went straight into the gutter, then the next 4 all shared the same fate. Hmm, how do I do this again? I laughed it off, even just enjoying the freedom to fail. After 5 gutter balls in a row, I finally scored - 3 pins went down! I eventually scored 68 for the first game and 111 for my second.
Pizza time for lunch. I stopped off for takeaway and bought a cheese crust pizza, took it home and nearly finished it all.
Once home, I asked my adult daughter if she wanted to watch a movie with me. She can be a big kid at times too! We bought chips, drinks, popcorn, donuts, and muffins then ventured into the cinema to watch IFS, a movie about childhood imaginary friends. It was a great movie with a good message.
What a great way to spend my Friday. I had so much fun.

Hello my name is Omar and I'm from New Jersey ,USA. I am a 23 year old and I'm looking to make some foreign friends (: I love making friends from different countries and getting to know their way of life and culture.
I love wrestling, soccer (yes I know it's called football lol), swimming, weightlifting and video games. I also am learning how to cook more often and I like to bake too. I also like to work on my own car that I call Blue Bonita
Usually I'm watching WWE and maybe some AEW, and with football usually premier league or MLS. (Manchester City fan ;) )
I have a PS5 and mainly just play WWE, FIFA, Call of duty and hitman (:
I am Hispanic, with a Mexican heritage although I was born in the US. I am usually shy but I can talk a lot sometimes. I am very introverted and like to have minimal friends as possible. I speak English fluently and Spanish almost fluently.
I love to listen to Reggaeton, Bachata, Salsa, a little bit of rap and r&b. Maybe a tiny bit of pop ;D
I'm a chatterbox and I love to talk a lot and about anything.
I love cats and I have 3 of them. Though I'm fond of every type of pet.
If you'd like to chat or possibly become my friend, don't hesitate to message me (:

This game was the single reason I bought a racing wheel. I checked on logitech's webiste and saw that it was compatible, but the way it's tuned for the game is entirely unacceptable and unusable. I have WRC and it "feels" like driving a real car. It's what I imagined Forza would also feel like. WTF is going on here? Is one of the most popular driving games on PC and Xbox not compatible with a driving setup? I'm bummed. Anyone know anything? Thank you!

I think I echo a lot of people in that the game was hugely enjoyable and something different. A bit more randomness in the placement of materials could have kept looting more interesting as from mid game onwards I was ignoring a lot of buildings, cars and containers that I knew would only have low level materials. I would have liked to have got out of the exclusion zone at the end, I don’t like that I’m supposedly stuck there now. That said, excellent game… especially for £25. If they follow this up with a second game, perhaps open world it would be amazing.

2024 May: Every day I wake up to get on the computer, possibly download a game I won't end up playing but its nice the thought that I have a game waiting for me to play.
If not spent fully in front ont he computer monitor in a blackedout room for most days. I might chance at a morning walk then shower, then eat.
Its been over a decade I've been on meds I was forced on medications after I was voluntary patient in hospital at 17-18 years old. Im now 33.
My life before hospital was filled with movies, music and video games. Enough to keep me somewhat happy, just not that eager to be social. And thats before I knew I had autism (diagnosed at 15) the entertainment was a distraction from all the effed up crap I either experienced or witnessed.
Between 5 and 8 my parents split up, to this day I don't know why. I tried asking both of them but they both had variable different answers that changed. I was left trying to figure it out going back and forth between parents. But not having the social skills or the social knowhow to actually get answers I might need.
We lost the family home when I was 8. After that the neighbourhood friends dropped off. The family friends and their kids that I thought I got along with either left the area or just stopped having much to do with my parents.
Its annoying becasue I got along good with the girls my age. But once we all grew up things got complicated.
At school, I suspect the teachers gave me good marks when I was a troublesome kid. Looking back I was a lot meaner than I thought I was, I was bullied quite a bit and some years heavily, every day was worriesome. Like a cycle, I started off bad, then pulled my head in when my father found out and tried to work good, only that made the bullying worse. Like a cycle, I entered high school with the notion I won't be bullied again, I started acting up and it worked for 2 years. Then eventually I pulled my head in and tried my best regardless of how much people turned on me and abandoned me. Their was points were people were literally fighting over getting the seat next to me, I managed to get the whole class to form a big group for recess and lunch, the girls took a liking to me. But I was too stupid to do anythiing with it.
And once I started to try to work hard, the grades told another story, I wasn't that good. I had my moments, bookwork for science class. Maths above average. and more, if only 'he had applied himself a bit more.'
I still remember the end of high school, during science class (I didn't really get the work but I liked making diagrams and science writings) I had one book me mum got me, well, turns out it was one of those "cheap" "half" books (exercise book) that was half as big as a normal exercise book. Well, I ran out of space and pages very quickly. I was embarassed. I had to borrow a4 paper fromt he teacher just to do my work, i couldn't.
Another thing that was bad around that time was a old kid from my school moved back in town and started creating havok for me (his supposed best friend) and the rest of town. I hanged around with this kid for too long, he came back trying to milk off my "popularity" i "had" since he came back. He didn't realise I wasn't as popular any more. And it was obvious he was using me just like he was using everyone he could.
He got me started on smoking and drinking around 15. Damn near nearly smoked pot but we didn't know how to roll it properly.
I regret falling out with the popular group to make this kid the leader of a new group that was just shit. I fell out with the group because I realised that they weren't inviting me to their parties (Im probably glad though they were mostly males) and some of my better friends were going and going out on BMX's weren't as much a thing anymore.
Anwyays fast forward.
I stopped drinking with this kid, so caled friend of mine. and stopped being his friend. Maybe it was alcohol withdrawal but I felt depressed having no friends I could call and just hang out, no big commitments just woulda been nice some of my old friends could have been there. But they have made friends with beighbourhood bullies, and this kid that I stopped being his friend is in my opinion worse than a bully. He is a fr-enemy, a fake friend. Least a bully you can understand their intentions hwoever coarse or harsh and realise they are the bad one. But this kind of "friend" I have never came across, a fricken enigma of assholery. And by me giving him let, it let others just as bad flock to us and me, and use me for a place to party, drink, smoke whatever. I was there, but I was drinking myself through it in a probably chicken way to deal with it but I tried many times to push this kid away and he'd just manipulate his way back into you life. At the end I just broke down in tears and he said "Well if we're not friends you wont have any friends" then I said "If that means not having any friends like you, so be it"
I took about a year and I stopped working in a trade.
At the end of the year life got chaotic in my family and I felt trapped with my mum, so I tried to take a leap of faith. I went to hospital.
Now there is a lot I can share about life after the first hospital admission. A sorta err to caution for those that feel hospital "might" help. But I will summarize here and leave it up for discussion as I need to go to sleep.
Met my first love, now a girl I used to know.
Tried to work multipe times, and failed.
Went back to school, still didn't finish ha ha
Working through it, working with therapies in place and trying to help myself, with "their" help included.
Its been more than a decade on and off meds, but this time I'm trying to stick with it until I'm good and ready.
Recently I have gotten a case of gout (during last hospital stay, last year) and now I might also have "vertigo" so I can have sudden loss of bodily control if in a car, walking and other uncomfortable scenarios.
I share this hoping to give a peek into the life and trials of someone with autism. and if its wanted I may share my exp with schizo - type disorder as well as more about my hospital stays.
thanks

Hey there! I am a 23 year old guy, and im looking for my special someone.
I am 190cm(6'3) tall, I have short black hair, hazel eyes. My hobbies are driving, working on my car, going to the gym, play video games, listen to music and watch YouTube videos, and also play with my dog too :D I go to university to be an IT Engineer and also work part time aswell.
I am a very cuddly person, very loyal, honest, and I like giving all of my attention to the person who's important for me. If we'd get closer, I'd love to spend all my freetime with you and chat/voice call a lot, and hopefully develop a long lasting relationship, and hopefully it'll turn to irl in the future.
I'm looking for a girl who's also cuddly, clingy, kind, sweet, and who'd also be a good Passenger Princess 😋
If you'd be interested in chatting and getting to know each other, send me a message :)

I bought for around 400 euros at an average of 35 euros. I checked my bank account and I can afford to spend 1500 more. And I will. I don't need the money right now. And if the share goes down for 1year or two... Whatever. I do not need this money right now. As long as I don't sell I have lost nothing.
That is the very reason you buy shares in the first place. You place money that you don't need so it doesn't sleep in your bank doing nothing. If my car breaks. I have money still for that. If my dog gets sick on top of that. I will have to sell. And will lose money for real. But whatever. I'm poor already. I'll be just as poor then. But if no big squeeze happens, I'll just play the long game.
You lose nothing until you sell. Hodl.

Hello my name is Omar and I'm from New Jersey ,USA. I am a 23 year old and I'm looking to make some foreign friends (: I love making friends from different countries and getting to know their way of life and culture.
I love wrestling, soccer (yes I know it's called football lol), swimming, weightlifting and video games. I also am learning how to cook more often and I like to bake too. I also like to work on my own car that I call Blue Bonita
Usually I'm watching WWE and maybe some AEW, and with football usually premier league or MLS. (Manchester City fan ;) )
I have a PS5 and mainly just play WWE, FIFA, Call of duty and hitman (:
I am Hispanic, with a Mexican heritage although I was born in the US. I am usually shy but I can talk a lot sometimes. I am very introverted and like to have minimal friends as possible. I speak English fluently and Spanish almost fluently.
I love to listen to Reggaeton, Bachata, Salsa, a little bit of rap and r&b. Maybe a tiny bit of pop ;D
I'm a chatterbox and I love to talk a lot and about anything.
I love cats and I have 3 of them. Though I'm fond of every type of pet.
If you'd like to chat or possibly become my friend, don't hesitate to message me (:

I'm just looking for people to talk with, play with, or random things in the same type haha, I don't care if you're crazy or anything (I am too) just want people to do random things with
I'm always so bored on weekends and even like at the start of the week, so it would be nice to have people to do things with
(be between 18-40, I don't really care about the age just not too old haha)
My hobbies are : Playing video games, Watching anime, Building lego, Collecting figurine, And random other things
And I work as a mechanic too! I love cars haha
I hope we can talk soon!

Hello, one and all. Been lurking for a while. Thought I'd share my experience thus far. I'm a 45-year-old female who herniated L4/L5 in early January. I'm, therefore, four months, two weeks post-injury.
It's a mild-ish protrusion pressing on nerves and causing sciatica. I have never had back pain. I'm a Brit. I plan to get over this conservatively and do not intend to have any injections or surgery. Note that I have some trouble lifting my left foot and walking as normal on that side, but everything is functional. I am able to lift my toes and heels, and I have full sensation everywhere.
From my scan, disc height is compromised only a tiny bit (I have juicy discs). I have a very wide and spacious nerve canal. No other issues aside from a transitional disc below (born with more bone than disc at L5/S1, very common, and I'm luckily in the "won't cause pain" camp) and a slight bulging disc above, which isn't pressing on anything. The transitional disc is likely to have led to this injury. But moving house finally pushed me over the edge, lifting things the wrong way.

The first month

The first month was obviously painful. Terrible sleep; sciatica was awful (burning in my left calf and left foot with some right foot tingling), and I was very stiff and leaning forward most mornings. Doing McKenzie cobras in those early days helped massively. And amazingly, I kept up with walking and averaged 15,000 steps daily. It wasn't painful. But I was taking Ibuprofen and paracetamol. I believe a lot of my sciatica has been caused by inflammation.
Back then, I was seeing a physio and doing some basic pelvic tilts, bridges, calf stretches, cat/camels, and – like I mentioned – cobra poses. Otherwise, I would mostly lie on the floor, on my front, resting. Or walking outdoors. It would take me three hours just to pluck up the courage to shower. And I could only stand under the hot water for less than a minute before lying on the floor again. Sitting was impossible. I couldn't use the car. I couldn't sleep on my left side. I would crawl down the stairs each morning after barely any sleep and go straight to the drugs. I couldn't make breakfast or do anything. But as each day wore on, I'd become less stiff and more upright and be able to walk for miles.

In search of a silver bullet

I tried everything in February and March. Acupuncture, physio, McKenzie stuff... They put me on Amitriptyline initially, but I hated it. And so they gave me Gabapentin. This helped with sleep and dialled down the pain significantly (I was on 300mg three times a day). I vaguely remember a crazy day when I walked into my local town, sat, and had cake and tea with an old friend. Still to this day, I can't figure out how! Boy, those drugs worked!
By the end of March, I discovered Egoscue and began posture therapy. I did it religiously for six weeks and even began working with a therapist. But it wasn't helping. And I didn't see any improvements. I also decided to come off the Gabapentin during this time (I would later go back on it, as I was in a lot of pain), as I felt totally off my face and hated it.
Around February, I also discovered Dr Stuart McGill. And read his excellent book, Back Mechanic. I learnt about spine hygiene and loads of other helpful stuff. Gradually, little by little, turning in bed got easier (brace that core) and getting up out of bed and off the toilet became pain-free, too. But I just wasn't seeing massive improvement.

Finding the right approach

That's when I decided to see a Master Clinician under McGill. Wow. It was the best money I had ever spent, and I'd spent more on acupuncture!
He went through my scan, was the only one to tell me about the transitional disc, and asked what I'd been doing thus far. He recommended that I give the posture therapy and the walking a break, just for a few weeks, to see if we could calm the inflammation down. And so I did. I rested. I mostly lay on the floor on my front or back and only moved around the house. No outdoor walking. No McKenzie cobra poses (which I've since discovered do more harm than good long-term and adopt a gentler version McGill recommends and says is just as effective). That was back in early April. And following his advice alone? I saw immediate improvements. In fact, the very next day, I was pain-free for seven hours. I couldn't believe it – just by resting.
I only rested for three weeks, and then I decided to try walking outdoors again. My gosh. The difference after the break! I could barely do ten minutes around the block without pain. It was too much. (I could never walk first thing before either – only later on in the day. But it would usually be fine.) But my back specialist wanted me to try walking three times a day, starting small. So, I persisted. He told me to stop if walking made things worse, though. Thankfully, it's been three weeks since I began walking outdoors again, and I'm making great progress. I can now get up from bed and walk immediately (I had to give it an hour before I ventured out of the house). And I can walk for half an hour, too. Three times a day. I find that a morning walk is crucial. I am stiff and a little sore at first, but it eases. And sets me up for the day. I also enjoy two or three hours of no pain when returning home.

Finally seeing progress

Since early April, the improvements have been gradual but almost daily. They're so small sometimes that you hardly notice them! It's only when you look back that you realise how far you've come!
In the six weeks since I worked with my back specialist, I have seen the constant burning sciatica in my foot and calf mostly disappear. Initially, I had a lot of fuzzing. That has now subsided, and since then, it's gone from fuzzing to cold water feelings and tingling... with occasional burning again (mostly only in the top of my calf), but that goes quickly. Now and again, I'll get a random ten minutes of a burning foot again, but it soon disappears.
A few weeks ago, I started getting new sharp and painful jolts in my left hip. That's apparently blood returning to the nerves. For the last week, I have barely had any foot or calf issues—I mostly have sharp pulling nerve pain on my left kneecap and similar symptoms in my hip. Only in the last month have I occasionally started to get a bruised feeling in my lumbar spine.
The morning stiffness and leaning forward? Gone. I am bolt-upright every morning and feel pretty good, posture-wise. Funny enough, since I quit doing the posture therapy. Go figure!
My glutes are very tight and constantly holding themselves. I'm trying to teach them to relax, but it's tough, as I know they're protecting themselves. I've been using heat to relax them—just a microwaved wheat sack some mornings.
Under a week ago, I came off Gabapentin. And I also quit Ibuprofen about five weeks ago. The only meds I take now are paracetamol – just one dose in the middle of the night to calm my (good) right hip that gets sore from only sleeping on that side.

How far I've come

Here I am, four months and two weeks post-injury. I still can't sit on a soft surface (I use a special sciatica cushion on a dining chair), I can't sit in a vehicle for the same reason, I can't sleep on my left side, and I still have some mild foot drop but am walking better.
On a positive note, the pain symptoms are changing daily, which is apparently a good sign. I am starting to feel some back pain for the first time, too. Centralisation is perhaps occurring. Instead of lying on the floor for several hours before breakfast, I now find better relief in standing and moving around. I can also sit for short spurts on my dining chair first thing in the morning, whereas before, I'd only be able to do that from midday.
I'm sleeping better. Six or seven hours a night. It's a tad broken, but I feel rested. And when I get up in the morning? Whereas before, my left leg and foot would go crazy with fuzzing and burning, now? Nothing. A mild tingling some mornings, but otherwise, fine.
I spend more of my days moving around, standing, walking, and occasionally sitting than "resetting" on the floor. And when I do feel sciatica getting worse, a brief rest on the floor makes the pain go away. It's never 100 per cent pain-free, you understand. It's mildly uncomfortable and feels like it could get worse at any moment, but I'm good.
And I'm finding that if I overdo it, any flare-up I might have is brief and easily overcome. Whereas before, it might've been five days to recover, now it's an hour resting on the floor.
If I stand at my standing desk for too long, my lumbar ache begins. It's not painful. It just feels weird—bruised, almost unstable, like I can feel it stacked. I lie down, reset, and then I'm good to go.

What has really helped

I now know what to do to avoid triggering pain. I can tie my shoes with my foot on a bench and lunge in. I have a shoe horn – a game-changer! I also use a strapped-on ice pack when I need to calm my nerves. Less so these days. And heat on my ass when the glutes feel too tight. I only take paracetamol in the middle of the night to help me sleep. Oh, and I find going to bed with an ice pack on sometimes really helps!
The meds definitely helped in those painful early days; but I need feedback. Once I felt I could, I stopped taking everything.
During this time, I also hired a cleaner (fortnightly) and a gardener. I've not stopped working (I have no choice; I am a freelancer). And I have no kids. So I don't have to commute anywhere. I stay at home and rest, and the only time I leave the house is to walk. I also invested in a new mattress, a game changer (John Ryan Artisan Luxury, if anyone wants to know). I am very lucky in all of these respects, I know.
The walking really helps – but it was only when I stopped, rested, and allowed by body to heal that I noticed a difference in my symptoms.

What's next?

I'm nowhere near ready to begin strength training. And I've avoided all physio and stretching of late. I am just doing what my back specialist recommends. Some mild cat/camels to get the blood flowing, walking, resting. I take magnesium, turmeric, vitamins D and B12, omega-3. I try to avoid sugar and alcohol (I don't always succeed on that one). I'm not ready for longer walks yet. And there's no way I could take a bath, sit up in bed, or sit on the sofa.
But I am healing. This has been quite the journey, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm excited for the next phase of recovery: rehab! And boy, will I be taking it seriously—for the rest of my life! It's down to us, after all. No one can do it for us.
There are some big life events coming up that I know I'm not ready for. When they get closer, if I'm still not better, I will call my GP and ask for advice. Ibuprofen might be brought out again. Perhaps even something stronger. But if I'm one of the lucky ones, I should be seeing further progress in the coming weeks and months.
I rate my ability to function normally when I can sleep on my left side again, drive my car and when I can sit on the sofa, too! I won't mind if there is some residual pain and weakness. As long as I can function without having the crux of a floor and yoga mat nearby.
I am more than happy to answer any questions. I hope this has helped someone. It's certainly helped me to get it all on screen. And I wanted to thank this community for all I've learned this year. I hope you're not in too much pain.

Platform(s): PC (Windows 7/ Vista)
Genre: Street Racing
Estimated year of release: 2012?
Graphics/art style: Realistic, bright lights, reflections, neon lights, night
Notable characters: NA
Notable gameplay mechanics: Car appearances can be customized, not sure if there is nitro mechanics? Arcadey style gameplay.
Other details: I remember playing this on my dad's old Windows Vista laptop. The graphics were superb at the time, cars have shiny reflections and looks super realistic (might be nolstagia). One thing I remember the most is that you can add neon lights underneath the car. If I remember correctly you start with a KIA and another car brand. I think it is not a triple-A release like the Need for Speed franchises, but an indie game which you can download it off windows store or something.

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

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I'm just looking for people to talk with, play with, or random things in the same type haha, I don't care if you're crazy or anything (I am too) just want people to do random things with
I'm always so bored on weekends and even like at the start of the week, so it would be nice to have people to do things with
(be between 18-40, I don't really care about the age just not too old haha)
My hobbies are : Playing video games, Watching anime, Building lego, Collecting figurine, And random other things
And I work as a mechanic too! I love cars haha
I hope we can talk soon!

(really quickly the reason I have two vastly different locations is that there is a near 100% chance I am moving to the UK this year)
hi my name is Jack, I'm a recent cyber security and networking graduate and ideally will be moving to Scotland to do my masters :) my hobbies include games, photography, cars and F1!
if you wanna chat about anything or wanna play some games I'm down for anything
I haven't had much time recently for games since I've been studying but I really wanna get back into it! I have been playing some project zomboid though and I'll pretty much play most shooters, sandbox, open world, survival or RPG games! also really enjoyed elden ring so maybe some more souls like games (been loving helldivers 2!)
not sure what else to say, if you want to chat send me a message!
see ya!
oh and even if ur not near me I'd still be down to chat or game or whatever :)
(also my dms are open! no need to comment under my post!) (also please don't just send me a one word message, I'd like to chat but I also don't wanna interrogate you!)

Hi, I'm a 36yo woman who's just decided to get a Nintendo switch to play on my TV. It's partly for my therapy. Trying and learning new things. Growing up, I played super Mario, some car racing and Duck shooting for a very short while. I think it was called "Sega"? I enjoyed them but I stopped playing as of course, gaming wasn't popular for girls in my generation.
Now I'm trying to get more playful and explore new hobbies as a part of my psychotherapy. I plan to play Mario on my Nintendo and maybe some car races. I recently spent a few weeks playing Minecraft creative on my laptop (no fighting) and I enjoy it.
When I get the switch, I plan to play super Mario, some cars and Minecraft creative and similar games to begin with.
However, I'm afraid I won't be able to play other modern games that are popular nowadays. Whenever I tried sth on my pc or phone I had no idea where to start, what to press, where to go... Are there any channels or resources where they explain how to play games for people with no experience except Mario? I literally need someone to teach me which buttons to press and where to go!
There's no one from my family or friends who plays games so I have no one to teach me in person.
Thank you so much!