Hard lump between dog s paw

IllegallySmol

2019.12.05 01:38 ExperimentalFailures IllegallySmol

Smol crime goes under reported and overlooked too often. If you see a criminal out in the wild, know someone who does or have one living in your home with you right now, don't be alarmed. Calmly post here and we will do our best to help. Don't be a victim, stop illegallysmol before it's too late!
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2020.01.29 00:23 ExperimentalFailures illegallysmolbirbs

We all love birbs and it is up to us to make sure that crimes committed against humanity by our feathery friends are recorded for posterity. The overall goal of this subreddit is to provide a safe place to post and discuss the most criminal elements of the sky: smol birbs.
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2020.06.05 21:40 Dr_Potato19 Birbsloveseed

Here you can post birbs loving seed! Whether it’s eating or throwing, Birbs Love seed!
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2024.05.19 10:08 JudgmentRemote2168 It’s been almost 3 years

Back in 2018 I met someone online through a mutual friend, and we casually started speaking. We never thought it would go anywhere, but fast forward we fell for each other hard and dated long distance. We were in a good situation where we were able to see each other about once a month even being across the country from each other.
When the pandemic hit, we moved forward with closing the distance and I moved from the west coast to the east coast. I didn’t want to move in together right away as I was fiercely independent and wanted to ease into us being close together. I also had lived alone for a long time, and wasn’t ready to fully share my space with someone yet.
For a year we were together in the same city, and I thought things between us were going great. We spent (at least) half the week together and I was easily integrating into my new city and life.
Then it all came crashing down when he told me he had met someone else, and he wanted to be exclusive with her and didn’t want to cheat on me so he wanted to end things between us so they could be together.
I mean.. he was cheating the whole time, but whatever, if it makes him sleep better thinking he did nothing wrong then… ok I guess. You never hooked up so you aren’t a cheater (yes he is).
But to the point, it’s been three years. I have no desire to get back together with him, and even if he did reach out to reconcile… I wouldn’t do it.
But I also don’t have any desire to date anyone, at all. I tried dating a little bit, but I just felt like I was doing it because I had to.
I live a very fulfilling life, I have great friends and a beautiful life in every way except romance. I just feel like he was it for me. He was the love of my life, and it ended, that was my chance and now it’s done.
I know what he did was wrong, I’ve talked about it in therapy a lot. I know I can’t blame myself because he decided to be a piece of garbage… but even so I just feel like my shot at a romantic future is done, and my fairytale has ended forever.
I don’t know what I’m looking for by sharing this, I just guess to finally admit it. I tell my friends I just don’t feel like dating, when in reality it all feels pointless.
I don’t look at his social media, I have no clue what he’s up to. But I know he looks at mine sometimes, I see he’s looked at my stuff every now and again.
submitted by JudgmentRemote2168 to heartbreak [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 10:05 ggwplucky [Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview

[Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview
A while back I was messing around with the Wayback Machine & came across this diamond in the rough on AP's MySpace page. Also found some photos, but most importantly, a track-by-track [Armed To The Teeth] interview from Sony Connect that they did back in '05 (presumably around the same time they did the Sony Connect set with the acoustic songs).
In the interview, Tommy tells the story behind each track on Armed To The Teeth (except Lucky). You'll also find tidbits about the process, lyrically & sonically of these songs, and much more!
If you want to read it/see it from the "raw" source and discover more, here's a link with the Wayback's capture I found on the interview blog: https://web.archive.org/web/20071005015435/http://www.myspace.com/abandonedpools
Now without further ado, the Sonic Connect Interview:
A track by track discussion of Armed to the Teeth from the Sony Connect Store interview:
LETHAL KILLERS TW: As far as how that [demo of the] song was constructed ... I did this trick where I would take a half-time drum loop and sort of nudge it one way and then put in another track and nudge it the other, and we got this sort of double time, rolling drum feel. So that - plus the sort of round-robin type of guitar parts that we have going - was sort of a very easy construction for a song. And then you start moving the bass part around, and, boom, you've got a song.
But I think that lyrically - I want to make it clear that that song isn't necessarily [about] "church is bad, government's bad." I think it's a little bit more complicated than that, though sometimes if you mix the two of religious power and government power, that can be bad for both of them. And I kinda like the idea of not living a life saying, "Well, you better live life in a certain way because then, you know, everything's gonna be great later in heaven." You know, the idea of, like, if this is all we have now, if that idea was just a little bit more embraced, our world could be a little bit better. I just find that a little bit more satisfying, too, if you think like, this is all you have and then you're gonna die. [Laughs] It seems a little bit more like, "Oh, okay, well!" instead of, like, thinking that there's some other life at some other time and you can put things off.
RABBLE TW: Well, a lot of the songs on this record - about two-thirds of it - have to do with a relationship I had that went south, and you know when you go through relationships you always have such a good 20/20 hindsight about things. And I think "Rabble" is just trying to basically say to somebody, "I just wanted to know you better" . . . It's just one of those things where, with this relationship in particular, I wish it would have turned out better. And there's a lot of things that happened that shouldn't have happened, and it's just sort of one of those "oh, what could have been?" scenarios.
THE CATALYST TW: "The Catalyst" is definitely along the same lines. I think the main line in that one is "I wish I could say something beautiful to make you fall in love again." There's a Coachella reference in there, too: "Love has slowly faded away like spotlights shining into space." Have you ever been to Coachella? Of course you have. You know, there's all those spotlights that shoot up in the air. I just thought that was kinda cool, like, how far do those lights really go? "The Catalyst" was also the last song written for the record. It was demoed while we were in the studio. And it's one of those songs that I said two-thirds of the record was written for somebody. That's one of them.
TIGHTER NOOSE TW: "Tighter Noose" is the oldest song on the record by far. It was probably written back in '99, 2000, or somewhere in there. I was thinking about it for the first record [2001's Humanistic], but it didn't really fit in with those kind of songs, so I kept it around and we'd even play it live occasionally. I think it fits in with these songs way better. [As for what "Tighter Noose" is about,] that song is one of those breaking-off-on-your-own- what-have-you-got-to-lose kind of things, because that was written sort of in the wake of when I was in The Eels. It wasn't a terribly happy situation, so I was like, well screw it, I'm just gonna go off and do my own thing. And then it's sort of like, well, you know: "I'm gonna go start my own thing. Uh, I have to learn to sing and write songs now." [Laughs] It's kinda funny: "Screw you guys! I'm gonna go get a deal!" And then like, "Uh oh." But really, I'm a firm believer in that [idea that] you just gotta go for it. And so it was like, well, this is gonna be difficult, but it's gonna be better than what I had before. And actually, with some distance on that situation, I realized I made the right decision and made a lot more money and was a lot more happy as a result. So that was sort of a leap of faith, you know. I didn't want to be someone's stupid bass player. Now I'm my own stupid bass player.
WAITING TO PANIC TW: There was a lull between record companies. The first record [Humanistic] was on Extasy - I don't know if you know about that company, but we were basically the poster-child for the implosion of an indie label. I came off the road in 2002, the label's folding, and I'm like, well, I'm just gonna go back and give this my best shot and we'll get another deal. It seemed highly unlikely, but we ended up doing it. And there was just a lull in there where nobody was interested. I had attorneys not returning my phone calls - that kinda stuff. It felt like, I'm just waiting around and I'm really anxious. So that was a song of frustration that was written and demoed all in one day - it was a song that just came out of me in like eight hours. We also put an EP out [The Reverb EP] and on the EP is the version of that demo that I did in one day. It doesn't happen [like that] very often. Usually I build bed tracks and come back to it a few weeks later and add something, and then come back a couple of days later. This one was all in one shot.
HUNTING TW: My friend Ross Golan, who has his own band Ross Golan and Molehead, had been following the wake of the relationship. He's like, "You just gotta write her a song and use her name." And I'm like, nah, nah, it's not covered enough. And he's like, "No, just do it. Go for it." So I did. I wrote this song and I wrote it for her for her birthday and I used her name, which is in the first lyric of the song, which is "Ginny." So I just went for it and wrote it. It was basically a birthday gift, and it was basically saying, like, you know, "Oops!" [Laughs] It didn't get me very far, but I like the song. We're friends, she's a good girl, absolutely, but back at that time, it was kinda like, "Erraaghhh! Here's a song!" But I like the song and I just think it was one of those times where I was really putting myself out there, and I know she liked it, too. But then, I think that's a myth where you just write a song and all of a sudden the girl just says, "Oh! Okay!" But, you know, hey. There it is. It's on the record.
That's the romantic notion of how they'll react to the song, at least.
TW: Exactly. And I'm really glad we're past that whole ironic phase, which I was part of with The Eels, where everything was super ironic and we'd play "The Macarena" on stage - [sarcastically] and that was funny! I'm glad we're through all that stuff, even though I was still a Beck fan when he was doing all that stuff, too. But I like being sincere and sappy and romantic. I kinda think that's a great thing.
ARMED TO THE TEETH TW: This is one of the first songs written when we came off the road and I had a lot of momentum. If you look at the state of the industry you can see a lot of corporations that seem to have to buy everything in sight. They just have to own everything, and to what purpose? Does it really make the industry much better? No. There's fewer outlets, there's a lot more gatekeepers. They want to buy stuff and it just kinda makes things bad for everybody. All the radio stations play the same shit - except for Indie 103.1 and KCRW in L.A. In spite of it all, I'm just gonna try to do my best and have a career anyway. When we came off the road I felt like I had a lot of momentum. Performing live is inspiring to writing, so it was just the whole idea of, "Alright, now that I have one record under my belt, I'm gonna really go for it in spite of all the forces that be." Even though they're pretty much indifferent to us, [laughs] their actions do affect us. It's sort of a song of bravado.
Why did you also choose "Armed To The Teeth" as the name of the album, too, which, in turn, implies it as the overall theme?
TW: Yeah, which is funny, since I kinda decided on that theme early on, thinking I was gonna go in a certain way, but then, like I said, two-thirds of the record is love songs. So "Armed To The Teeth" doesn't really fit in a certain way, but I also liked it just because [of] that idea of, like, now I'm really ready to make a record, and also I think it reflects the state of the country a little bit. Everything's a little bit aggressive, we're at war, and I thought it was sort of timely in that way
SOONER OR LATER TW: "Sooner Or Later" is another one of those tracks that was written after we got signed, so it's a newer song. I mentioned that sort of double time drum loop thing with "Lethal Killers" - this is the same thing. It's a half time drum loop that I nudged in one direction and then put in another track and nudge it in the other, then "boom," it's double time. And I like that, it's a good effect. It really sets up this kind of overlapping, rolling sound that a real drummer can't do. And things flam a little bit, and I really like that feel, so this song was constructed in the same manner where you have a rolling drum loop and then you put over a couple of guitar parts here and there and all of a sudden you got a song - I think this song is over six minutes. This is, um, I guess it's a couple things. Lyrically, it's sort of saying, like, whatever you do or whatever you say, there's no point in hiding anything because it all comes out in the end - which is the tagline in the chorus. There's no hiding. And in the verse it says, "Sooner or later / It's all coming down." In some way or another, whether you acknowledge it or if it just eats at your self, you can't really get away with anything. It's sort of fatalistic that way, but also in terms of, like, seeing how I also look at as a bigger picture of, like, politically, and since we're at war right now, it seems like things are getting a little scary. And that's kind of like one of those doomsday scenarios. If you look around a little you can really freak yourself out if you're reading about, like, bio-warfare and things like that. So a lot of this talk about "smoking gun in the shape of a mushroom cloud" and all that, it sort of brought up for me a lot of doomsday scenarios. So it's two-fold: it's that doomsday scenario, in terms of as far as the world is concerned, and then, personally, if you do stupid shit then you're eventually gonna pay for it somehow.
SAILING SEAS TW: Like "Hunting," this is probably the most direct, out-there storytelling song. Instead of using her [real] name, it's switched to "Holly," which is in the chorus. So it's another one of those songs talking straight to somebody. And there's a lot of details in there that I wouldn't talk about in normal conversation. That's the funny thing about songwriting where I wouldn't talk about this, but then I can put it in this song and you can still hear it and you still understand, but it's sort of masked a little bit. It's presented in a certain way where it's somehow okay to say that when you're in a major key or something. Because like, the second verse is about pretending you're outside a room listening to somebody [you love] have sex [with someone else], and that's a situation to put yourself into to really torture yourself. I created this scenario in my head and I put it in a song, and it's kinda brutal, but the [beat of the] song is upbeat and happy.
RENEGADE TW: This is a sample-based type song [with] drum loops. The cello was originally a Bjork sample and we replaced it. This one is sort of hard to explain. To me it’s just sort of like just a creation, because some of the record is social commentary, and I think there's a lot of that in this song, and it's like little snippets and ideas, and not necessarily one unifying idea. I think it's just kind of a song based on looking around and taking stock of things. This song in particular isn't really even about anything. It's just, like, observations, pretty much. And, oh, by the way, Billy Howerdel, the guitarist from A Perfect Circle, is playing guitar on that song. He jumped on that track and he's the one that makes it sound scary.
MAYBE THEN SOMEDAY TW: That was one of the first songs written in the wake of the breakup. It was one of those kind of "well-it-just-didn't-work-out-but-maybe-one-day-we'll-see-what-happens" kind of things. Because the circumstances are such that it wasn't gonna happen immediately so I was kinda like, well, we'll see. I don't have much to say about that; it's just grouped in with "songs about her."
GOODBYE SONG TW: That was also written when there was not a lot going on for me and we hadn't really nailed down the record deal. She [Tommy's ex-girlfriend] always thought she was bad luck - she'd show up and bad things would start happening - so she thought it was her fault that I hadn't got a deal. She actually moved away and soon as she did, we got a deal. [Laughs] I think it's funny to sort of say, like the first line of the song is "I'm not washed up / And you're not bad luck for anyone," so, you know, get off the ledge, really. And it's just one of those things; it's one of those yearning songs. I think with a lot of those songs there's a certain amount of effort spent on presenting evidence, like, "Look, I know this is how you feel, but look at all the other stuff." It's almost like making a case for your self [in a song]. And like I said, it didn't get me far, but it's still a good venting process. And I sort of realize when I say things like, "I wrote this for her" or whatever, it's not really for her. It's more self-indulgent to get this stuff out. And in a way you're saying, "Yeah, I wrote this song for you," but no, you wrote it for yourself so you could say things that you felt like saying. So I realize that and I think I realized that while I was writing them, but my job is to write songs so you take from what's around you to make it happen.
submitted by ggwplucky to AbandonedPools [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 10:01 JustaCatChick My roommate is my aunt and she’s becoming difficult and starting to slowly charge me more.

My aunt F(40) and I F(25) agreed to both get an apartment with both of our names on the lease. She was in a rush to get an apartment as she had just had a divorce, and I wanted my own place after moving out of my boyfriend’s parent’s house.
She was in a rush to sign the papers and move in because she had nowhere else to go. Her sister (my other aunt) allowed her to live in her house rent free for a couple months before she needed to look for a place. So once she found out, I was breaking up she took it as an opportunity to get a roommate.
I feel like me being naïve and new to the lease signing process was seen as an opportunity to take advantage. The day of signing the lease they told us that we couldn’t view the unit because it wasn’t ready and I told her that I didn’t sign it because I don’t know what the condition is but she insisted that we do and that we can fix it later, so I did trusting her.
Once we move in, it’s a very old department and we are paying roughly 1,500 in rent. It’s a two bed two bath. It comes with the garage for a single car, which she has claimed since she pays more. She has the master bedroom with a standup shower and a bathtub as well as “his and her sink”. I have the guest restroom, which is just a simple small bathroom with a tub shower, toilet and sink.
Initially, the agreement was the I pay a portion of the rent, electricity and Internet. Her mother, which is my grandmother was trying to help us get us into our own place so sent her $5000 which was supposed to be divided by two which would give $2500 to her and $2500 to me. I didn’t know about this until recently as she hid it and was acting like it was given to her for months, and even made it seem like she was being nice by helping me out since I couldn’t afford some stuff during she furniture shopping. So when we went shopping for the apartment, I tried to help pay for half of groceries and little furnishings that I could afford out of my pocket. When it came to picking out couches, she made it seem like a very carefree experience (not paying attending to price) and was looking for a very big couch that was lavish and when I told her I couldn’t afford it, she said don’t worry Grandmother is helping us out. (but we’re just spending my portion of the money on the couch she wanted) If I had known that MY money was going towards that couch, I would’ve definitely chose a cheaper one and put more thought into selecting it.
I had a gut feeling about the spending and asked my grandmother about the “help she gave us”, she told me the truth: that $2500 should have gone to me, and she’s sorry that she didn’t clarify it soon as she sent it. She thought my aunt would’ve done the right thing and give it to me to help me purchase my furniture for my room. Later she went shopping for a brand new mattress and began shopping for more furniture and decor. Meanwhile, my room is full of free furniture that is used and that I’ve gotten from family members storage and IKEA furniture that I bought out of my own pocket.
I am a full-time student, receiving assistance from the gov receiving 1400/month as a Veterans dependent. And I also do commissions on the side to make extra money. So I live very frugally naturally and am a minimalist tbh and yes I CAN afford bills and own groceries. I’ll also watch all her animals while she’s out of town for free (2 cats and 1 dog). I only have one cat and often clean the whole apartment, including helping her with her laundry that sits in the washedryer. Since i see it as a contribution and helping her out.
The agreement has changed in the past four months that I’ve lived with her. We are 4 months into a 14 month lease. She pays $1200 a month for rent, I am responsible for everything else. That being: whatever is left of rent, water, electricity, Internet, and I have to pay for my own parking every month at the apartment we stay (she gets garage so she doesn’t have to pay parking)
Lately she’s been asking me if I’m going to get a job and to start contributing more towards the rent, which caught me off guard as I thought we had already come to an agreement on the rent/bills situation before signing the lease and revisiting about a month ago. Right now I’m roughly paying $600-$700 in utilities and rent combined. If it gets more expensive and bills go up I am responsible for the overages and she seems to like to leave the AC low and lights on. She’ll leave her clothes in the washer and forget to throw them in the dryer and end up washing them again. The same thing with the dryer. Even if it’s dry she’ll, have to redry it to “freshen it up”.
I’m also probably undiagnosed OCD, my only complaint to her is to be clean and at least keep common areas tidy. She likes to leave things in the sink overnight, dump her weeks worth of coffee cups that she brings from work in the sink and leave them for hours. Her dog will pee around the apartment and I find it after it dries up and becomes sticky after I step in it. I’ve mentioned these issues before, but she seems to shrug them off and give me excuses.
I’ll leave for days at a time and give her a notice on when I leave and come back because I know I am leaving my cat with her, but I make sure he always has food and I come by and check on him, clean litter box and tidy up around the place if I’m staying at my boyfriends, which is only 20 minutes away. She complain the fact that I’m gone too long. And when I’m at the apartment, it seems to bother her that I do school from home and can work from home doing commissions. I’m an introvert.
She is a shopping addict and is in debt and also runs a business that is in the red, she has no children and she seems to be living above what she can afford. Her ex husband is needing help financially and I think it’s affecting her financially. In the end she’s asking for me to help her as she is struggling with her lifestyle, relationship, and business.
Some people might say that my situation isn’t that bad or that I’m overthinking, but since this is a family member, it’s hard to set boundaries as well as stand up for myself when I respect her as an aunt.
She’s came to me offering to help me in the beginning when I was looking for a place and now it seems like a trap. My parents asked me to move back in so that I could save money and avoid rent but she said if I move out I’m fully responsible for breaking the lease or paying for her to downsize into a single bed room unit, which would be $1300 in fees or more. I want to stand my ground since my name is on that lease and we made an agreement. I’m frustrated and really need advice. Am I wrong, should I help more or is she just taking advantage.
submitted by JustaCatChick to badroommates [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 10:00 AutoModerator CHAT Community Thread - Sun May 19

*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
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Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
submitted by AutoModerator to infertility [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:57 Ok-Personality7517 Thinking about giving my (19f) bf (22m) an ultimatum about coke even though we’ve done it together. How to go about this?

Okay backstory, so my bf(22m) and I (19f) used to do coke together at the beginning of our relationship, not everyday but weekends and occasions. He however would always do a lot more than me, and a lot more often, which wasn’t a problem for a while until I started wanting to cut down. We had a really big fight one night, basically I had said that I’d attend this event with his friends only if they weren’t doing coke, and that if that was the plan it wasn’t a big deal I just wouldn’t be there. He made a huge deal about asking all of his friends about giving it up for the night, telling me it was fine and I wasn’t intruding and told me 100% that no one we were with would be doing coke. Long story short, him and all of his friends were doing it and hiding it, and he didn’t tell me until I figured it out. We fought mostly because of the fact that he lied to me after making such a show about making me comfortable, but also because,,, why couldn’t he give it up for one night? When I specifically asked him? I considered breaking up with him, but left it at “if you lie to me again we’re done”. After that he told me he didn’t want to do it anymore and he never meant to hurt me, that he loved me too much for it to cause problems between us and would never lie to me again. That it scared him how badly he felt like he needed to do it, that he didn’t wanna be doing it forever, etc etc. It’s been about 5 months since then and he hasn’t done any.
Now here for the current issue: I thought we were on the same page about being done with it for good, I gave it up after that too, still have some but haven’t touched it since and the growing healing part of me doesn’t want to. Me and my friend were planning on going to a music festival and I invited him, told him we’d only be drinking and smoking. He essentially said that if he couldn’t do coke there he probably wouldn’t go. I pressed him about it, asked him why he wanted to so bad and if he really thought it wouldn’t be worth it without coke. His reasoning was “because I miss it and it’s fun” “I’m not gonna spend hundreds of dollars just to drink and smoke”. I understand substance issues and I have some of my own, but I’ve been in a relationship before where the substance issues bounce off the other person (terrible experience) and I truly can’t take that step back now that I’ve stopped, as much as I may want to sometimes. I tried to consider being okay with it, asked him thoroughly whether he’d keep using it after the festival or would be able to regulate, or maybe letting him compromise or something. The more I think about it though, I don’t know if i could handle the “fomo” I’d have if he was doing it and I wasn’t, in a bad way. I don’t think I could be okay with him doing it in any capacity. I don’t really see the point in starting again after you’ve already gone so long without. Obviously you want to, it’s addictive, but that’s something you have to work against, and actively steer yourself away from. I don’t know if he’s ready to do that.
I worry especially since he says he misses it that even if he’s fine with not going to the festival at all, he’ll just find another place or event to do it at. I know it may be hypocritical considering we used to do it together, but I don’t think I can be with him unless he’s fully commited to not doing it again. I feel like we’ve been together long enough to grow as people in that time, and I don’t want to do hard drugs anymore (only sometimes). I know part of all his reassurance on not doing it again was probably because he was scared of me breaking up with him, but I thought at least most of it was true. Am I wrong for thinking we were on the same page? I don’t know how to go about this and I don’t want us to break up, but I don’t want to ignore my feelings either.
note: I love my boyfriend so much, we have such a good relationship other than times like these he treats me well and we communicate well and I’ve never felt more loved by anyone, it would kill me for this to be the end of it, it’s not what I want at all. I just worry even if he accepts it, that he’ll just lie to me about it because he knows I’ll break up with him. Best case scenario, he accepts my boundary no matter how begrudgingly and won’t do it again. I’m looking for realism here though and I’m not great at that. I know I can’t magically make him not want to do coke ever again, but how do I go about this in a way that’s not attacking him? I hate to give ultimatums but it kind of is. Maybe it’ll be a simple thing maybe it won’t, I really don’t know. I’m just scared of losing him over this, even if that sounds dramatic.
tl:dr I’m worried my bf’s attitude towards coke is going to either cause problems or ruin our relationship.
submitted by Ok-Personality7517 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:57 corpsehottie So very frustrated with destruction of my house

My dog, he’s about 4-5 the shelter was unsure of his age exactly, was moved shelter from shelter plus survived parvo & Lyme. Which means he had to be isolated for at least 3 weeks in the shelter for the parvo, I gave him antibiotics for the Lyme due to the shelter “missing it.” So basically when I got him, he was not labeled aggresive at all, which I’m totally aware aggression is always a risk you’re taking with an animal. But the point being, I got him and he was sooooo chill…because he was sooooo sick and almost dead. I’d walk him and he’d walk a few steps and just sit down :(. 3 days of antibiotics and he changed entirely. He became entergetic, playful etc . Don’t get me wrong my dog isn’t mean, I just genuinely think he’s been through some shit. Like when I do laundry, I lift hangers to put them in clothes and he gets scared. He’s scared of knives too, which I think is so odd for a dog to be scared of a blade. And he hates meeting new people, going to the park is super hard, and the vet is incredibly difficult. He has to be muzzled & medicated for the vet. Another thing is when I leave for work he’s in a kennel, he’s a small, maybe considers medium dog? He’s 25 lb and in a kennel large enough for a German Shepard. Lots of toys, blankets etc. I had to get a $300 hunting dog kennel for him because the other kennels despite being big enough, he kept breaking out of. When he’d break out he’d demolish the house. So I tried leaving him out? I thought maybe he just hated the kennel. So he chewed the doorframe completely off the door. Chewed holes in everything. And it’s not that I’m mad, I mean yea I’m frustrated but god I feel so bad for him. I can’t imagine being so anxious you chew through the doorframe trying to find your mom. I just wanna fix it and I don’t know how.
submitted by corpsehottie to reactivedogs [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:48 diligentfalconry71 Lojan Travel Buddy - first thoughts

I decided to go for it, and ordered myself a Travel Buddy this week. u/katie-kaboom already posted a thorough review of the regular Buddy here, but here’s the mobile version ! I’ve taken some pictures with my Lendrum DT for comparison.
Why get another folding wheel when I already have one? Well, as much as I love it, the Lendrum is bigger than is easy to sling on my back and head out on my bike. The Travel Buddy is smaller (although about the same weight), and comes with its own backpack; I never got a “real” bag for the Lendrum and have been using a comically large Timbuk2 messenger bag for years, but that is just not really comfortable.
I was leery of Irish tension since I got soured on it quite some time ago — ironically enough on a Louët which I decided was my sworn enemy — but I thought the description of Dutch tension sounded like maybe they’d successfully dialed back the difficulty, and anyways I’m a much better spinner now than I was back then, so it’d probably be fine. And worst case scenario, if I still hated Irish tension, I could just sell the wheel on. So, I decided to give it a shot while the intro price was still so low.
Prep and assembly: I bought the Lojan branded beeswax finish and put three coats on the pieces, waiting about 12h between coats, before assembly. Once that was done, I found it straightforward and easy to put together. I’m currently a little slow-paced because I caught myself a fine case of covid a few days ago, but even so, it took me a little over an hour (less than two episodes of Stargate SG-1 anyways!), and roughly half for the wheel and half for the bobbins.
Speaking of which, the bobbins are huge! 200g capacity apparently. All the sources I find say the Lendrum standard bobbins have a 6oz capacity, but that sounds high to me; I was guessing 4. If 6oz is right, the capacity is almost the same between the two.
Once I had it assembled, I started out with some combed Icelandic top from my breed sampler stash — nothing too persnickety. And predictably, the take-up was way stronger than I expected. I had to hang on hard to keep it from yanking out of my hand, even with the brake basically off, and I did think, “oh no, I have just made a very expensive mistake.” But I remembered to try cross-lacing and see if I could get it dialed in better.
Attempt 1: The flyer has two sliding plastic guides on each arm, so first I crossed over the arms from side to side. That helped, but because the guides go down in the direction of the bobbin rather than out like hooks usually do, it dragged the singles across the surface of the bobbin, which caused friction I didn’t like.
Attempt 2: next I popped the plastic guides off the flyer, and switched two of them outwards rather than inwards. That didn’t actually increase the distance enough to prevent dragging the singles across the surface of the spooled singles when I cross-laced, so no go.
Attempt 3 - almost there! I thought about what the physics of cross-lacing is, and realized that all I really need is more weight-bearing support to increase the friction and cause drag. So I tried feeding the singles straight through the two guides on one side; with one reversed, it created a slightly zigzaggy path which still accomplished the same increased-resistance effect, and made a big difference in reducing the take-up without dragging singles across singles.
But, it still wasn’t enough for me, because I strongly prefer a chilled out, lazy long draw, and I’m used to getting pretty fine singles with it on my Lendrum, so having to settle for short forward draw was just going to annoy me in the long run. So…
Attempt 3: loop the singles around the reversed guide. And this is a winner! It reduced the take-up so much I had to start easing the brake back up. I basically pulled a loop over the top of the flyer, over the reversed (sticking out instead of in) guide, pulled it back under and hooked it on the underside of that guide, in kind of an M shape. This let me push the ratio up and easily get to 40 wpi with zero stress drafting.
With the M-lacing, I did try out a little long draw, and this test spin is with a merino-silk combed top, but I still kept my left hand in action to control twist and just generally be careful with it since I’m not 100% confident yet. I’ve barely spent more than an hour spinning so far, the Icelandic singles, plus chain-plying two other breed sampler singles, and finally the merino-silk singles test run. But overall I’m pretty satisfied that I conquered my fear of Irish tension, and have a wheel I can spin my way on — rather than a wheel that’s going to make me spin its way. And I’m looking forward to biking to an upcoming spin-in with my aptly named little Buddy!
submitted by diligentfalconry71 to Handspinning [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:46 Kooky_Mix8359 36 [F4M], Filipina visiting NYC next week! Looking to do photowalks with a local.

Let's try this one more time.
About me:
Just a SINK taking a career break. I recently left my job at a tech company to do some traveling and soul searching this year. I’ll be visiting New York soon to see my best friend and the first thing I'm gonna have there is a Lox Bagel. :))
Will be hitting Toronto sometime in between to watch a concert. I'm hoping to hang out with some locals to do some photowalks together. I think that’s the best way to get to know the city. I’m selectively extroverted.
I’m a Filipina, in case you missed that bit. English is not my first language, but I try my best :)
I’m 5’6, Tattooed, I’m tragically pale for a South East Asian. A bit curvy but lost weight recently thanks to my best friend called Calorie Deficit. I aim to get more fit this year.
What I’d like to do for fun:
Traveling and discovering new cultures. I went to Hanoi and Sydney during the first half of the year.
Photowalks! I’m a hobbyist photographer.
I can be a homebody when I’m not exploring the world.
Dog mom to a cute chow
Cooking, trying out new restaurants ( I used to be a chef in my past life). Favorite cuisine: Mexican, Mediterranean, Japanese
I’m a sucker for Horror movies - I love a good jump scare
My music taste is eclectic— from Feist to RHCP. I enjoy crafting playlists to match every mood.
About you:
32 and above? Single! Doesn't mind being my tourguide for the day. Hopefully, you're taller than me, but not a requirement. Great conversationalist. Easygoing. I'm a bit introverted in person, but can get a bit chatty once I'm comfortable. A foodie like me. Knows the good spots for photowalks.
Maybe we can get to know each other first before we meet up? I'm not looking for hookups :p Let's keep it sfw ,for now, lol ;)
So, as an opening question, if you could splurge on any hobby without any limits, what would it be?
DM me your answer, and let’s take it from there. :) Can trade photos/socials later.
IF I don't respond right away, it's most likely because of the timezone difference.
submitted by Kooky_Mix8359 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:42 Top-Animal-544 Partner confessed feelings to another woman

Hello, dear redditors. I have joined this subreddit to seek some support and advice. Hope you can help me to get some peace. This will be a long post, but I feel very hurt now, and need to vent, so forgive me that.
6 months ago I met a guy, 33 years old. I’m 27. It was unrolling slowly between us, but eventually we started to like each other and have frequent meetings. Be both agreed to exclusivity, and confessed that we enjoyed each others company, and that we are more than just friends. He always took lead and reached out for a contact with me, texted me first, and was quite engaging. At one point I started to realize I was falling for him.
3 months in I started to notice he suddenly got a little sadder. But I couldn’t figure out what was going on. This was slowly happening over the period of several weeks. He has always told me about his anxiety issues, and his sleep problems. One time he even broke out in tears in front of me, and I tried to support him and calm him down the way I could. We kept seeing each other, but I saw something was going on, his mood was always getting slightly lower with every upcoming week, which started to distress me. I asked many questions, trying to figure out the reason, but could never get to the point. I figured he was suffering from some sort of depression, probably.
One day we agreed to meet, but he suddenly cancelled, and said he does not want to see people right now, and does not want to be around anyone. I got confused and very anxious, I thought something happened. But he refused to see me or get my help.
over the next couple of weeks he was texting me a couple of messages a day, letting me know that he is in some sort of ‘comatose’, feeling very anxious, restless, and not able to sleep. This is where I started to google the symptoms, and confronted him. Turns out his is BP, and he was scared to tell me because of the stigma.
This episode lasts from the beginning of April. He finally decided to take medication. He was not unmedicated before, because he was scared. I tried my best to talk to him, and support him, as much as I could. It cost me a lot of stress, sleepless nights and tears, because I mainly could not figure out what is wrong with him.
He got very cold with me, he stopped calling me sweet names, be gentle with me, and complained about no libido, which is totally normal. He said he needed a friend more than anything now. He said he does not feel like he can be with anyone now, that he does not feel anything to anyone at this point of time. I knew I already liked him a lot, and I confronted him with this, but said that I will support him as much as I can now.
I knew he had a female friend, he knows for a long time. Yesterday he texted me that this friend is leaving to another country in a couple of months. He said he confronted her that he likes her, and she said the same back. According to him, he just realized that he has ‘feelings’ a week ago, when she told him she’s leaving. But he said he does not know, what exactly he feels to her. Whether because he is sad a friend is leaving, or he actually likes her, he doesn’t know.
but this hit me very hard. I hope it makes sense of that I explained here. I am very hurt and do not know what to do.
do bipolar people have mood/feeling switches like this? I feel like everything what happened before this depressive episode was a lie, and my feelings were misused. I feel like I was chosen over someone else. it made it look like he is scared to lose her, but does care if I am gone or not.
is it normal for people with BP
submitted by Top-Animal-544 to family_of_bipolar [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:41 Commercial_Trust8612 I 26 (M) found out about my 24 (F) wife’s affair and need advice.

Hey all,
So I’m new to the whole Reddit thing so please forgive me if this is laid out weird it’s my first post.
I 26(M) have a wife 24(F). We have been together for 5 years and married since September 2023 (Canada.)
For context 2 years into the relationship I discovered messages between her and the AP. These messages were NSFW and definitely something somebody (in my opinion) should not be sharing with someone outside of the relationship. After I discovered the messages we had a whole argument about it and decided to attend couples counselling in mid 2023. My wife had told me in front of the therapist. That I needed to get over my insecurities with AP (I had blown up on her after the first messages were discovered and told her to end the cheating, she said they did and I was reading to far into it.) And so I dropped my concerns about AP.
She’s never been one to give me her phone passwords saying she needs her privacy and I should trust her. But I was recently out of town and received a message from her sister asking if she knew about a guy in my home (not AP) I replied to her no I did not and immediately called my wife asking about the stranger in our home. Her response was less than ideal screaming at me that I didn’t trust her and who she brought into our home was none of my concern.
This got me thinking that there is more to this, so I did some digging, I found out her phone password and went through her messages and there it was. Messages between her and AP about seeing each other. They called their meet ups “going for coffee” I’m not going to go into details about the messages but it was enough for me to say I’ve had enough.
I know I haven’t been perfect in our relationship. I got complacent and relaxed. And I pushed hard to try and re kindle our sex life. But I’ve had enough.
My question to you is, AP has a fiancé and a child at home (2 months old.) I’ve contacted a family law firm to schedule a consultation and I plan on moving on with divorce proceedings. But my question is when should I tell this poor woman. She didn’t ask for this and deserves to know. However my wife doesn’t know that I know about the affair and I don’t want to blow this entire thing up yet to try and help with my divorce.
Thanks for any input you may have that could help or at least help get my mind straight again.
submitted by Commercial_Trust8612 to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:32 RedditAwesome2 ACL reconstruction (+MCL/LAT Meniscus injury)- Do NOT Skip Pre-hab. No pain, no brace, one crutch DAY 1 Post-Op. WTF.

I just wanted to share my experience here and as I had never seen something like this and I actually had an OVERWHEMINGLY positive experience with this surgery. I realise there is luck + age(29) involved but pre-hab really paid off.
There will be a tl;dr + my final PREHAB exercises.
On march 3rd I tore my MCL (2nd degree) + ACL (full tear) + Lateral meniscus (2nd degree leision) from my MRI. I couldn’t bear any weight and upon ER visit I was given a brace.
First 30 days I wore the brace (because of the torn MCL which requires it to heal on its own) and could only put a very minimal amount of weight on my injured leg. Did that, then started PT on day 30.
Day 30 after injury - had no muscle on my leg, couldn’t bend my knee at all. Had my first PT session where they removed my brace. I started PT 3 times a week at a sports centre where they also worked with the best surgeons in my city. PT was kind of painful and started out slow but it was getting better each day. On week 2 of PT I started doing all the exercises at home on rest days, so basically I did PT 7 times per week.
Day 60 after injury - was supposed to have my surgery here but my Physio suggested to my surgeon to delay. I still went for a check up where my surgeon said he could have done the surgery that week and it was good enough but I/We declined and opted in to wait another 2 weeks of PT. At this point in time my leg was still a bit stiff but after warming up I could bend it properly. My extension was also pretty good / flat but couldn’t match my hyperextension.
Day 60 - 74 after injury - I kept going hard at PT for the last two weeks before surgery, sometimes I did PT at home twice, even went for stationary bike at the gym. At this point for the extra added two weeks, my leg actually started feeling like my own leg again. The progress, as suggested by my PT, was INSANE. Day and night difference. Some days still felt a bit stiff but I was able to lower the bicycle seat a lot, gained a bunch of muscle back, swelling in the mornings was VERY minimal. I could sleep on my side etc. I felt like a normal person again. Sure I could only walk slowly but I didn’t have ANY limp anymore, so much that car drivers would get annoyed at me at crossroads for walking slowly.
Day 75 after injury - SURGERY DAY. I went in pretty nervous but I talked to my PT who as I mentioned also worked at the clinic and was there right before my surgery. He gave me encouraging words but I was still in panic mode. My turn for surgery came, went in, had the ?partial anasthesia where you stop feeling your legs which felt super weird to me. I was still pretty nervous and kind of shivering so they asked if I wanted full anasthesia or just some sort of drugs added to my systems to relax. I said I wanted the funny thing (LOL) and sure enough, the nurse puts in the funny thing and within what felt like 30 seconds, I started laughing in my head and hearing my own voice saying funny shit like “lol finally getting surgery this shits cool haha”. It felt super weird as my anxiety disappeared within seconds. That’s when the surgeon popped in my view and told me the good news - my meniscus had healed properly (as well as the MCL) since I wore the brace for 30 days after injury and did prehab. The guys at my prehab place did tell me most times with the brace and prehab the meniscus can fix itself but I didn’t think that would be my case. So when surgeon told me I did a big thumbsup, laughed a bit and said some dumb shit like “awesome” lol. My entire 2 hour ACL surgery felt like 5 minutes after they had put in the “relax” drug. I loved it, I barely remember any of it other than seeing my leg being thrown around a bit. DEFINITELY ASK FOR THE FUNNY DRUG IT MADE ME SO CALM AND HAPPY (I never do any other drugs, rarely drink etc but this felt like getting verrrryyy tipsy right before going black out drunk usually lol). Surgery’s done, it’s a success, they send me back to my room. This place also uses drainage for 48hr so you stay in the clinic. I kept waiting for the pain to arrive but I was so buzzed up with the funny things and kept telling each nurse how good the stuff they put in me was LOL. I probably still looked worried as they kept making jokes about me being very worried and how they’d take care. They kept asking me if I had any pain and that’s when I used my REDDIT KNOWLEDGE and told them my pain was 1/10 but I heard you wanna take meds preemptively as if you feel any pain - meds not gonna work. Some time passed and they gave me the hardcore painkillers in my veins. They had some “program” where they give you stuff each 4 hours. I felt NO PAIN AT ALL. My accident felt WORSE than laying in the hospital bed post op. I kept waiting for the pain to arrive but it never did.
ONE DAY POST OP - I was playing on my switch when at about 9 AM my PT storms into the room and starts telling me to quit playing lmao. He asked me if I could do a leg raise, and sure enough I could. I knew I could because while laying down I kind of kept checking my mind muscle connection and even after surgery I could still feel my muscles. He tells me to do 25 and he’ll be back later. Mind you, 25 leg raises with a drainage and a heavy-ish brace, under painkillers that were given me an hour earlier as part of the 1 per 4 hour things. But I was able to do them.
Fast forward one hour and my PT is back. He’s telling me that we’re gonna start walking. I’m happy and get up. Immedietely a bit lightheaded so I took some water and was standing up on two crutches. They had previously shown me how to use crutches at PT, so I tried to walk as fast and normal looking as possible. To my shock, 3 steps in, my PT literally laughed and KICKED THE BACK OF MY OPERATED LEG and said “go faster nothing to worry about, I don’t gave much time here lol”. The kick kinda hurt but it made me more confident walking. I did about 10-15 steps on two crutches, he told me to not lean on them but just use for balance. Did some more steps and he literally grabbed one of my crutches and ran away laughing. Told me that I only need one and sure enough - I could walk with one crutch (and the basic support brace). He then taught me how to go up and down stairs and gave me 6 exercises to do in my hospital bed. I did them and that was it. He said “no limit on walking and bear as much weight as you can”. I literally couldn’t believe it. Day ONE post op, one crutch. I had NEVER even read a story like that on this sub. Felt crazy good to know that doing the 6 weeks PT with him saved me so much trouble. As a side note, the other patients in my room, some of which with the same doctor felt TRAMENDOUS amount of pain, couldn’t sleep, kept hearing them do little screams from the pain etc. etc. etc. I was the only one who did extreme PT before surgery from my room.
Day 2 post op - had drainage AND BRACE removed and was told to only rest up to not have any more swelling (drainage is used to remove swelling basically). So I laid around in the hospital bed, got up to the toilet a few times and could only walk with one crutch no brace and that was day 2.
Day 3 post op - I went home, managed to fit in car front seat, did the exercises I was told to do and could sort of walk one crutch only to get around even tho it was not easy and felt a bit sus.
——
My FINAL PRE-OP list of PT EXERCISES in the correct order: 1. 12-15 minutes of stationary bike on the lowest possible seat where I felt no pain or light in my knee. 2. 3x15 or climbing up a stair, as high as I could. You put your injured leg on the stair, you climb up with your other leg and then put the other leg back on the ground. At this time I could do a pretty good height on this exercise and do slow negatives. The height was about 3 standart staircase steps or 3x a regular stepper. 3. 3x20 slowly walking down a stair, from as high as possible. Walking down was harder for me, so my maximum was about 2 steps high (66% of climbing). You step on the top step and use your healthy leg to touch the ground and then “jump” back up on your injured leg which never leaves the higher step. 4. 4x20 Squatting on a very low bench. Basically slowly sitting down to something as low as you can while making sure to bend your knees equally. I could do this at two steps heigh where my knees would bend quite a bit more than 90 degrees. Still felt a bit of pain here 5. Walk around for 30-60 sec instead of rest between all of these. If I had energy left, I would add in a few mins at the bike at a lower seat.
That’s it, do all of them as slowly as possible. I did these sometimes twice a day if I had the willpower and my knee felt good. Also used ice after doing them sometimes and made sure to have mind muscle connection and use my injured leg as much as possible. ——-
Tldr; DO PRE-HAB. Managed to walk one crutch only DAY ONE after ACL reconstruction with a temporary brace that was removed day two and went out of the hospital on just one crutch. Only minor pain after surgery 2/10. A bit painful to walk around and bear weight but that’s as expected. Do your prehab because others in my room couldn’t walk at all and were in agonizing pain for 3 days after surgery.
Thanks for reading, I hope this post is helpful for fellow sports lovers. I am 29 years old / 6’1 / 180 lbs, did mostly bodybuilding at the gym and bicycle.
submitted by RedditAwesome2 to ACL [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:29 Secret-Tomatillo5044 I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web pt1

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.
submitted by Secret-Tomatillo5044 to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:24 SpecialistPear755 Any way to know the enemy status for different tires at different waves?

Is there a sheet that shows enemy status of each tire each wave(or maybe each 100 waves)? It’s hard to plan for what to invest and what not to, I think such a sheet would help a lot. I don’t see a clear pattern of how enemy’s statu increases between tires and waves so it’s hard to predict it before I see it.
submitted by SpecialistPear755 to TheTowerGame [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:23 xGunner455 Very Tiny Bug. What is this little guy?

Very Tiny Bug. What is this little guy?
Very tiny bug found in bed. I don’t think it’s a bed bug, maybe it came from our dogs outside? It’s very small and was hard to get a picture of. So small that a penny is like a human to an ant when comparing this thing. My girlfriend has also been experiencing insane itching but we think that may be from other things and not this bug we’ve noticed.
North America/Missouri
submitted by xGunner455 to whatisthisbug [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:23 LastOneNotStanding Dude disappeared in front of me

So, I was walking my dog in midtown Atlanta, building etc, there is a parking garage on the property with multiple stair wells along the property. I am in the streett and see the two guys in front of me move fast into the stairwell, I'm in the parking garage, one went left up the stairs, the other goes to the right... That's when it happened, the guy who went right went.. no where.
He literally disappeared.
My dog pushed and pulled after then. Right when it happened. He went right, disappeared, and my dog growled and backed off. For understanding, My dog is not scared of anything. Ever.
That's when I get chills.
Did that happen? No couldn't have been.
I thought as the 2nd guy who went after the first, I recounted in head, no, that's nutz he went right, I thought, "that dumbass, there's no where to go..." Well he went right, and disappeared... Like GONE...
Now, I finally told my husband and the response was, "you are drunk" ... The problem was that I only had a few white claws. Not like of I had actually had some hard liquor... These things actually happened.
This was the same thing that happenned when in
So now, I'm left with thoughts of what if... Get s family member pass
submitted by LastOneNotStanding to Glitch_in_the_Matrix [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:21 Top-Animal-544 BP partner in depressive episode confessed his feelings to another woman

Hello, dear redditors. I have joined this subreddit to seek some support and advice. Hope you can help me to get some peace. This will be a long post, but I feel very hurt now, and need to vent, so forgive me that.
6 months ago I met a guy, 33 years old. I’m 27. It was unrolling slowly between us, but eventually we started to like each other and have frequent meetings. Be both agreed to exclusivity, and confessed that we enjoyed each others company, and that we are more than just friends. He always took lead and reached out for a contact with me, texted me first, and was quite engaging. At one point I started to realize I was falling for him.
3 months in I started to notice he suddenly got a little sadder. But I couldn’t figure out what was going on. This was slowly happening over the period of several weeks. He has always told me about his anxiety issues, and his sleep problems. One time he even broke out in tears in front of me, and I tried to support him and calm him down the way I could. We kept seeing each other, but I saw something was going on, his mood was always getting slightly lower with every upcoming week, which started to distress me. I asked many questions, trying to figure out the reason, but could never get to the point. I figured he was suffering from some sort of depression, probably.
One day we agreed to meet, but he suddenly cancelled, and said he does not want to see people right now, and does not want to be around anyone. I got confused and very anxious, I thought something happened. But he refused to see me or get my help.
over the next couple of weeks he was texting me a couple of messages a day, letting me know that he is in some sort of ‘comatose’, feeling very anxious, restless, and not able to sleep. This is where I started to google the symptoms, and confronted him. Turns out his is BP, and he was scared to tell me because of the stigma.
This episode lasts from the beginning of April. He finally decided to take medication. He was not unmedicated before, because he was scared. I tried my best to talk to him, and support him, as much as I could. It cost me a lot of stress, sleepless nights and tears, because I mainly could not figure out what is wrong with him.
He got very cold with me, he stopped calling me sweet names, be gentle with me, and complained about no libido, which is totally normal. He said he needed a friend more than anything now. He said he does not feel like he can be with anyone now, that he does not feel anything to anyone at this point of time. I knew I already liked him a lot, and I confronted him with this, but said that I will support him as much as I can now.
I knew he had a female friend, he knows for a long time. Yesterday he texted me that this friend is leaving to another country in a couple of months. He said he confronted her that he likes her, and she said the same back. According to him, he just realized that he has ‘feelings’ a week ago, when she told him she’s leaving. But he said he does not know, what exactly he feels to her. Whether because he is sad a friend is leaving, or he actually likes her, he doesn’t know.
but this hit me very hard. I hope it makes sense of that I explained here. I am very hurt and do not know what to do.
do bipolar people have mood/feeling switches like this? I feel like everything what happened before this depressive episode was a lie, and my feelings were misused. I feel like I was chosen over someone else. it made it look like he is scared to lose her, but does care if I am gone or not.
submitted by Top-Animal-544 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:12 Firm_Visit_120 i’m temporarily living with my parents and i’m going to lose my shit

this is going to be long. so i am currently 24. me and my boyfriend started looking for houses in january, our lease ended in march. the housing market has been terrible, and we have fallen through on many houses. we are now closing on a house this thursday, however for the time being, my parents offered for us to stay here until we’re in a house. we’ve been here since the beginning of march. this is where my issue/venting comes in.
my mom has the absolute weirdest rules. which is fine!!! you know it’s her house, i’m following them since im living here, but there’s so many and it’s really hard to keep up with them. things like: don’t leave the sponge with any soap on it. keep the bathroom door open all the way at all times. ask her if she needs to use the bathroom before you use it. the dishwasher needs to be done exactly the way she likes. let them know if we’re going to get dinner, and if we go ANYWHERE (coffee, gas station) we’re expected to bring them something back or we’re met with “well that would’ve been nice to know, what if i wanted something?” you get it!!! there’s a lot more but i’m trying to make this as short as possible. that’s a lot right?? which again, is fine, however, if we mess up and forget one, CAPITAL PUNISHMENT! and it’s not even reasonable reactions like “hey, i’ve told you i like it this way, please try to remember”. no. it’s a HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU NEED TO BE TOLD SOMETHING-
i am getting over a kidney infection, and the meds i was on made me borderline piss my panties. i had to pee, but she needed to pee, so she was slamming doors and mumbling. my boyfriend plays a good bit of video games, which he does on his day off while still being productive, and she is constantly nagging about how all he does is play video games and she thinks it’s rude blah blah. my boyfriend brought me home flowers and a gift on a day that i was having a really hard time. she literally said “you know i like surprises too.” 😃???
i got into it with my stepdad a couple weeks ago, he was going to hit her dogs over something stupid and she was begging him not to, and i stepped in (i shouldn’t have) and basically was like bro don’t. he screamed at me and i screamed back. but he said like really hurtful things like when i leave don’t come back, “fuck you”, etc, YOU GET IT !!! we didn’t speak for awhile because a 50 year old man isn’t gonna talk to me like that. tell me why she has sided with him, and even blamed ME for the things he said.
this is getting long, there’s so much more, but like, im torn. i have tons of outside stress. closing on a house, work, im in the middle of a divorce. am i ungrateful? i have done everything she wants me to do. i am trying my hardest. every time she gets passive aggressive on me i am nice and apologetic and i just feel so much anxiety over this because i am so extremely appreciative of them. any and all advice is welcome!!
submitted by Firm_Visit_120 to Advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:09 SkipSpenceIsGod The Beach Boys Top 60 on Sirius, May 24th @ 7pmET/4pmPT and I have one thing to say about it……

If ‘Ding Dang’ or ‘Rollin’ Up To Heaven’ isn’t #1, I’m going to be super pissed. 😡 At least Top 10! All of us in the “other” (better) sub tried really hard to make this a reality.
Btw, it’s Top 60 to mark 60 years of The Beach Boys!!! But, um…..way to go Sirius; you only missed it by 3 years! 🤦🏻 Between this and calling Al “Paul Jardine” in a advertisement on Sirius about their new documentary on Disney+, it makes me wonder who the brains are they got working there and I’m assuming history wasn’t their best subject. 🤷🏾
submitted by SkipSpenceIsGod to thebeachboys [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:04 gryffixx Random thought about “work”

No job is hard but every job takes effort. The amount of energy it takes to NOT put in effort is about the same if not more than it is to actually put the effort into something. However at the end of the day it’s the end of the day and all that means is however much effort is put into the chosen career or whatever in general whether that be a blue/white collar job, line cook at a fast food joint, or even a homemaker, the effort that is given is everything. A person for example can talk smack telling people they could do better and intentionally/unintentionally saying they are better to use that as motivation for someone to do a better job well that won’t work as well as a person who puts in the effort and will do just that and show someone what a better job looks like. Aka leads by example. Not that difficult if a little effort is put in “a little bit of elbow grease” if you will. Respect is another thing people will have less tenacity to put in the effort if they are disrespected. Whether it is a boss to boss, boss to employee, employee to boss, person to person, etc. Doing a phenomenal job is definitely a TEAM EFFORT. But that’s my opinion and honestly not everyone is capable of putting in effort but are still capable of completing a task. For example taking out the trash, doing your chosen job, picking up after your dog, washing a car. Is any of that necessarily hard? No. Is it any more difficult to put effort into doing it and not half ass-ing or being a lazy shit? No. So at the end of the day all it fizzles out to is character. Major benefit of putting in effort is at said end of said day you can hold your head up high knowing you did everything you possibly could do to do a good job and be content knowing you put in that effort to do your best and that is respectable. Disadvantage of putting in effort is that people around you will start to learn and do by your example and may outperform or do better than you. Again in my opinion is that really a disadvantage? After all a “team” means everyone benefits a job well done unless you have an ego and toxic self pride which makes you unable to celebrate doing good as a unit as to being a lone soldier and believing you are godly, but then again at the end of the day it’s the end of the day. “To each their own”. 
 -gryffixx
submitted by gryffixx to gryffixxblog [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 09:00 Urasonlol New Patch, New Samira Build Guide

Hi hello gamers. Urason here 800LP Rank 1 NA Samira bla bla bla nothing new you haven't heard by now since its always the same spiel. Anyways, lets do a breakdown into Samira's best build(s) atm and any variants she can do. I'll also go over some key power spikes and rune variations as well! Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer them when I can!

Boots

1st Item

2nd Item

3rd Item

4th + Onward

Runes

Primary Runes:
Secondary Runes:

Item Power Spikes

  1. First recall/When you can afford BF Sword or Serrated Dirk (BF Sword is more damage and Dirk is much weaker now so relearn your damage)
  2. Collector Completion (This is especially true vs traditional crit carries that can't itemize Collector or ER first HOWEVER this is MUCH weaker than last season. You can no longer 1v9 off Collector alone but you're still decently strong)
  3. Infinity Edge Completion (This is now where you can absolutely 1v9 the game. Your goal each game should be to hit IE at 50% crit and just kill everything! Again, especially true vs traditional carries since you can stack damage while they're forced into AS or bad 1st items/build paths)

Closing Notes

Samira is VERY strong right now and while she's not necessarily OP anymore she's in a good spot. They have significantly hindered her snowball potential and she can no longer 1v9 at 1 item. That being said, she has one of the strongest 2 item spikes in the game and can nearly out damage any ADC. Even after 2 items she only gets stronger (however she does start feeling the range diff vs marksmen like Aphelios or Jinx). This was a bit of an info dump and I personally have no "OP" build or runes set in stone quite yet but I'm experimenting with a lot. This post is just my compilation of personal experience, some discussions with other high elo players, and just some overall analysis of different Samira's around the world. Overall, champ feels nice but it does feel bad to be weaker early. Oh whale! If you have any questions just ask and I'll get to them at some point. Hope this helps!
submitted by Urasonlol to SamiraMains [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 08:59 nomorelandfills San Diego Humane Society, Frosted Faces Foundation and Lexie the Biter

San Diego Humane Society, Frosted Faces Foundation and Lexie the Biter
Lexie is a small, old dog but Lexie was a highly aggressive small, old dog when she entered the shelterescue pipeline in 2018. The shelter flipped her to a rescue, and the rescue spent 2 years letting her bite and attack people before finding a final adopter who tolerated the attacks long enough for (my opinion) Lexie's deteriorating mental state to reach a point that she lost the ability to carry through on her resource guarding/defensive aggression. I've seen that happen with aggressive dogs before, and it's a mercy for the owner and the dog - which is an incredibly sad reflection on the misery that is aggression, that mental deterioration can make life better.
December 2018 photo from original owner
December 21, 2018 - a dog owner contacts Frosted Faces Foundation about surrendering their 13yo small dog, Lexie, who has bitten them recently. FFF, like many rescues, doesn't work with owners and prefers to do shelter pulls which are exciting and visible (and dowry-included) more urgent, declines to assist the owner.
December 31, 2018 - San Diego Humane Society in Escondido contacts FFF asking them to take what turns out to be the same dog - 13yo Maltese, recently bit owner,
January 3, 2019 - FFF sends a volunteer and minor child to pick up and transport Lexie to a foster. The child holds Lexie on her lap on the drive from the shelter.
November 2019 - FFF posts on FB that Lexie has been adopted and returned 4 times. Each return has been within 48 hours. They blame the adopters, saying "We are always very up front that this girl bites, and she bites hard. Her fosters are patient and forgiving people who have given Lexie the transition time she required to trust them, and even still, they are careful." They also say that "Lexie is food aggressive so she eats in her crate, and does not get bones ever" and also that "she even goes to off leash dog parks." That'll be fun when someone drops a cookie in front of her.
Their new perspective on Lexie is that
Lexie is pretty much fine with anyone that comes over to the house, everyone can pick her up as long as they let her smell them first and she doesn’t “smile” which means she doesn’t want to be bothered. She is the best with me and David, we can pretty much pick her up anytime and haven’t gotten bitten in a few months.Lexie has some trust issues for sure. She hates being pet when she’s asleep, doesn’t like getting her face washed in the bath, and wants you to check with her before you pick her up. As long as you avoid those, she’s honestly such a sweet pup and once you gain her trust you have it forever!
Surprise, she's on the behavior med train.
Lexie is on fluoxetine for behavioral reasons, and we have tried trazadone, clomicalm, and CBD oil. Recently Lexie has had a vestibular episode and has had a couple seizures this year, so we do believe there may be a connection between her health and behavior.
1 - interesting they aren't blaming themselves for her aggression, like they blamed her owner.
2 - Old dog vestibular and seizure activity are not linked to aggression involving resource guarding. btdt with both physical issues in an old dog, frankly a lot annoyed at these ailments being used as a cover for a violent dog.
October 2020 - Lexie is adopted for the final time. She remains with these owners.
Lexie in final home - clearly adored
December 31, 2023 - FFF posts on FB
Lexie is celebrating her FIFTH Frostiversary!Lexie found herself at the San Diego Humane Society after an unfortunate accident that led to her biting her owner. She was 13 years old and was understandably scared and untrusting. We made her a Frosted Face, and for nearly two years, she divided her time between foster families, several adoptive families that didn't understand her needs, and onsite at our rescue, waiting for a family who would give her the time and space to learn to trust again. In October of 2020, \*** promised to love Lexie forever, and today, they are happy to be celebrating her fifth anniversary as a Frosted Face!"Lexie is a happy puppy. She loves walking in circles; my family calls it her "mall walk" since she does it for hours with no goal and it makes her happy. She smiles a lot and spends all of her time either sleeping on top of Peanut (her bichon sister), walking, staring at random objects, or looking for someone to feed her. Her vision is very impaired so she stood in front of a house plant once for a real long while thinking it was a person that would give her treats.She used to be Lexie the Biter but she'd never bite anyone now.* When I first adopted her, she'd bite my face and I'd have cuts all over my hands and arms and had to leave her leash on her indefinitely because she wouldn't let me near her face. But now, she loves being held, cuddled, she's so sweet that it's unbelievable. She's loving and patient and will lick your nose if she thinks you're close."
Essentially, I think whatever was going on with this dog neurologically in 2019 with the seizures has likely increased - hence the 'mall walking' and other odd behaviors. And likely the reduction in aggression. Some aggressive dogs who survive their own violence long enough to grow old will develop forms of doggy dementia that reduce their aggression.
Note - the current owners obviously dote on this dog and of course they do, she's adorable and we're hard-wired to bond with dogs. This isn't an attack on Lexie, this is pointing out that the rescue placed multiple people, including children, in harm's way through a series of highly unethical actions - disregarding info from the previous owner, choosing to interpret a bite as unimportant, ignoring the dog's behavior, blaming anyone who refuses to live with a dog which will bite them, considering it a win to have gotten people attacked and bitten for 2 years while forcing a nervous and unstable little dog to live in a variety of homes. That it worked out is not an excuse or a justification for their reckless behavior. People drink and drive and make it home without an accident every day. That's not an excuse or justification for drinking and driving.
https://preview.redd.it/ip7qq3tsyb1d1.png?width=637&format=png&auto=webp&s=d8979817f6061791dc247c6ccaadb931f5577d27
Kelly and Andy Smíšek, Founders.
https://preview.redd.it/0udyqbw5sb1d1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=5abe115f69360be4072a2854610df016116e9547
https://preview.redd.it/bpkg9lrptb1d1.png?width=677&format=png&auto=webp&s=5132927f8e140c88c5545da3d5803c6477255d0b
https://preview.redd.it/cnk7zbq9sb1d1.png?width=689&format=png&auto=webp&s=74314bb8bff6748dc69e3dce3bee749614d5cd1f
The rescue which used a minor, an adolescent girl, to help transport Lexie on her "Freedom Ride," scornfully saying "Look at that liability!" about a photo of the child holding Lexie on her lap in a car.
https://preview.redd.it/e0nrbbcqsb1d1.png?width=1002&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8de627f14d73a1ab6a81932b5bb323be1c8b320
https://preview.redd.it/g0xtw7hjsb1d1.png?width=1049&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f0cf300ced12c26ce0787489a9078d7dc953ca1
https://preview.redd.it/82pcpovnub1d1.png?width=679&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8cdf19913eb595516089310dab47e3a0eac87b0
https://preview.redd.it/izwtsv8orb1d1.png?width=586&format=png&auto=webp&s=1f5040e72b4db4b44206c7849ad5e89fccf26845
submitted by nomorelandfills to PetRescueExposed [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 08:54 BOfficeStats Domestic BOT Presale Tracking (May 18). Thursday/EA+THU Comps: Furiosa ($4.49M), Garfield ($1.22M/$1.97M), Bad Boys ($3.64M/$5.30M) and Inside Out 2 ($7.66M).

BoxOfficeTheory Presale Tracking
USA Showtimes As of May 17
Presales Data (Google Sheets Link)
BoxOfficeReport Previews
DOMESTIC PRESALES
Furiosa Thursday Comp assuming $5M for keysersoze123: $4.49M
Hit Man
The Garfield Movie Thursday / EA+Thursday Comp: $1.22M/$1.97M
Bad Boys: Ride or Die Thursday / EA+Thursday comp: $3.64M/$5.30M
The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Re-Releases (June 8-10)
Inside Out 2 Average Thursday Comp: $7.66M
Deadpool and Wolverine
Domestic Calendar Dates (last updated May 16):
MAY
JUNE
JULY
AUGUST
Presale Tracking Posts:
April 23
April 25
April 27
April 30
May 2
May 4
May 7
May 9
May 11
May 14
May 16
Note: I have removed most tracking data that has not been updated for 2 weeks. I think there is value in keeping data for a week or two but at a certain point they start to lose their value and should not be treated the same as more recent tracking data.
submitted by BOfficeStats to boxoffice [link] [comments]

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