4 years ago (2020) my father passed away with me and my brother as successors.
My father was Indian and me and my brother are British citizens. My brother has an Aadhaar card since he was born in India and has been in India since 1993. He has a British citizenship because of our mother.
My mother and father split up over 30 years ago but never divorced. The marriage was dissolved in Ireland where my mother married again. However the marriage wasn’t dissolved in India because she never came back to India after she left.
Now we are trying to get our inheritance done and we’re wondering if it’s better to just get it all on my brother’s name since he has an aadhaar card.
Since our mother isn’t in the picture due to her marriage being dissolved and remarrying she has no stake in the clan and neither does she want anything. I don’t have any Indian documents except a bank account which may make claiming a little difficult because to file a legal heir certificate I’ll need an aadhaar card etc.
Our plan is to just say that when our mother separated from our father I left with mom and have no interest in the inheritance. Therefore by default my brother is the heir. Is this the quickest way to get a legal heir certificate for my brother or is there a better way? Does he still need to get an no objection certificate from me and mom?
Appreciate your responses.
Thank you

This is my first script. Please be kind. If it sucks, it sucks, but I had fun writing it nonetheless. Please link me if you use/fill it. I would love to hear your take on it. Free to monetize, Youtube, Patreon, whatever, I just want to hear it. :)
P.S. I know people hate seeing other characters lines a lot -- so I just covered them for other people and if you want to see them, just click on them -- there just little responses that helped me continue writing the script.
Speaker: You are Killian James a.k.a. Hook. Your eyes are the color of the sea, your hair is dark as night, and you are dashing, troubled, and flirtatious. The lilt of an accent gives you a melodic tone, and your personality is dark, playful, and direct. You are comfortable in three-piece suits, and are a dangerous man with many secrets.
Listener: Your name is Wendy. Your friends have convinced you to go to a bar downtown in the more dangerous part of the city due to rumors, only they end up bailing without you. You are going to go home after you finish your drink. The bar is called Never Land, Where, according to your friends rumors, the owner is a mysterious man that they all seem fascinated with. Apparently, he is tall, dark, and handsome – a devil of a man that goes by a strange name. They call him… Hook.

Scene setter: Italics

SpeakeVA: Plain text with "quotes" outside of the sentence/phrases
Internal monologue: Bold/italics
Action of character or SFX: *((*Double Parenthesis))
Response from a character: ((pause))

((SFX – The club is above this basement 'torture chamber' area-you can hear the music of the club playing muffled. The basement area is clean and not dungeon-y but is more of a modern torture chamber with drains for easy ah… clean up))
SCENE: There is a man chained/tied up. Hook enters the room, looking almost bored that he needs to be there. He takes off his jacket, handing it to one of his henchmen, leaving the vest on, before he unbuttons his cuffs and starts rolling the sleeves up.
“I’m not pleased that our shipment is late, Mr. Jukes. It was supposed to arrive on a super yacht named the ‘Jolly Roger’ today with a bunch of rich snobs who were none the wiser. Your men guaranteed me that it would arrive with the staff and be loaded off on the dock shortly after, however, that is yet to come to fruition, and I am not a patient man.”

--

((SFX: VA puts on leather gloves, stretches fingers and gets comfortable in them))
“I am aware that they have taken a detour due to a storm, Jukes – but your mismanagement of my time, and my money, are not to be forgotten. Bad form, Jukes! Bad form!”

((SFX: dragging knife sound – //our character uses a tactical Hook knife. It’s typically for gutting deer – not really necessary to know, it’s just to flesh out the character for you//, Hook approaches slowly))
--
“I know it won't happen again. Don’t worry, Jukes, since this is your first time having erred with me, I shall simply leave you with a small reminder. I expect the shipment to be directed to our port swiftly, otherwise,” ((small cruel laugh)) “I won’t be nearly as lenient again.”

((SFX chains straining, screaming that becomes muffled screaming, as Hook takes his knife and leaves the man with a Cheshire Grin/Glasglow Smile up one side of his face, heavy breathing for a moment, as he returns and throws his knife down on the table)) --
“Get me my other three-piece suit from my office and a clean shirt. I’ve got this bastard’s blood all over me. He's not to be given his freedom until I hear that the shipment has come in from the Jolly Roger. If it does not go to plan – we will have to take further, more drastic actions and I don’t want to have to find this cad, Mr. Jukes again. Do I make myself clear?”
((henchmen answer))
“Good.”
((SFX – him pulling off the leather gloves and getting changed))
“One of you stay here and watch him. Tonight I’ll be on the club floor. I’m not to be interrupted until The Crocodile has made contact. Is that understood?”
((pause))
“Good. That is all.”
((he leaves))
((SFX – transition to this however you like))
\*modern day, bar scene/sounds (*no* jazz or classical music - it's a nightclub), people mingling in the background. In enters our VA/Hook.*
((pause as he speaks to the bartender))
“Tinkerbell, pour me my usual, will you, dear?”
((Tink is quick, and slides him his drink. Sip, sigh, and pause as he looks around)) (( This internal thought is not necessary but if you want to, go for it ))
\*internal thought*\** Who’s this? Oh my, sweet lamb, you are definitely in the wrong place.
“Tink, one last thing, could you possibly tell me anything about that young woman there? The one in blue.”
((listening intently for a moment))
“Hm. Lovely. Thank you, dear.”
((SFX – he puts down his drink, footsteps/fine Italian leather shoes approaching the young lady who is at the bar))
“Well, well, well… Isn’t that a beautiful dress on an even more beautiful woman. That color of blue really suits you. You… are a piece of art. A fascinating and intriguing piece of art. However, you don’t quite seem like you belong here.”
((pause))
“Someone as divine as you, as *innocent* as you, dressed as you are, doesn’t really seem to fit in. Not in this kind of place. You look more like you would fit in one of the high-class jazz lounges uptown. Martinis, a piano player, velvet couches and the like. Do you think that you fit in amongst these gentlemen of fortune and these women dressed in their slinky club clothes? Look around, do you see the patrons here?”
((short pause as she looks around))
“Don’t you see? You are simply dressed too elegantly for a place like this. No, you, my dear, are definitely not the type that belongs amongst these fiends. You belong uptown. Not here, amongst the dregs of society like us. Your mannerisms are too graceful, you walk with pride and your chin up – this is not the body language of one of my people.”
((pause))
“Well, I happen to own this establishment, Never Land, so I am rather familiar with the likes of the people who tend to come through its doors, and I have never seen you before. You seem quite unforgettable. Could I have the pleasure of having your name?”
((pause))
“Wendy… What a lovely name for such a lovely woman. Well, Wendy, darling – my name is Killian. My friends call me Hook.”
((pause))
“So many questions! What an inquisitive slip of a thing you are. Perhaps, we could talk over a drink?”
((*VA snaps fingers* Bartender Tinkerbell approaches immediately and waits)) ((ListeneWendy begins to decline))
“Don’t fret, darling. It’s just a drink. Should you find yourself not interested in our conversation or in me, you are more than welcome to leave and go back uptown to the *safe* areas of the city, where the likes of people like me and my ilk will be of no bother to you ever again. But should I pique your interest, perhaps allow me the grace of your presence again in the future.”
((pause))
“Just one drink. And nothing more.”
((ListeneWendy accepts))
“Delightful! Tink, if you could get us another round. One of whatever the lady was drinking, and my usual.”
((short pause as he takes her in before sighing and leaning in closer to speak to her))
“Darling, do tell me, why have you wandered into the seedy underbelly of our city? What is it exactly that you are searching for? Mystery? Intrigue?"
((whispers // into her ear))
"...*Danger*?”
((VA leans back and there is a sly curling of his lips into a crooked smile))
“Mm, that blush really does make me think that you truly are as innocent as I originally thought, Darling. Albeit, I am sure you knew what kind of danger you could get into coming to a place like this. You may be looking for danger, but it seems danger has found you instead.”
((pause))
“Oh, yes, danger. There is plenty of danger here. However, it seems like that’s something you seem to be searching for. Should I inquire as to –“
((VA leans in once more))
“What *kind* of danger you are looking for? See, Darling, that’s the thing about danger… You may only want a little but you never truly know how much you’re going to get.”
((pause))
((VA - practically whispered across her lips or ear, you imagine how close you want to get))
“Ah, yes, Wendy, darling. I happen to be very… Very… Dangerous.”
((Listener steps back))
((he gives a low chuckle))
“Do I … make you … Nervous?”
((short pause and VA steps forward as Listener shakes her head defiantly))
“Or perhaps, I am not the kind of danger you are looking for?”
((closer))
“Do you even *know* what you are looking for, my little lamb?”
((dangerously close to her))
((pause))
((drinks come at this time delivered by Tink – VA returns to less invasive persona))
"Ah, thank you, Tink. You’ve impeccable timing. Shall we? I’d love to take this to a VIP booth I prefer to sit in. It will give us a little more privacy and won’t be as loud. Come now, pet."
((footsteps/music/whatever SFX have them move to a slightly quieter place, sit in a booth))
"Do you mind, Darling? I’d much rather be sitting next to you than across the table. That way I can hear you better. Yes, that’s it, just move in a little further."
((this gives no escape for Listener as James/Hook is between the easy exit and her – SFX of her moving over if you want to get technical and him sitting next to her))
((pause))
“Ah, *that*. The name Hook… It is simply from a childhood long ago. Raised in an orphanage with many other lost boys like myself. It’s a truly heartbreaking story, I’m sure, but I’d like you to remember our first meeting in a different light. Not melancholy and deep, dark secrets. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps, if you decide to embark on a journey with me in the future, or are willing to grace me with your presence again, we can discuss it then.”
((Listener nods, nervously))
((he leans in))
“But you, Wendy, darling –“
((whispered // reaches out to draw a finger down her jawline as he looks from her eyes to her mouth))
“You still haven’t answered me.”
((pause))
“About what *kind* of danger you are looking for…”
((pause // leaning in))
“Are you looking for something – just a wee bit threatening? Perhaps something that will get the heart pumping momentarily?”
((pause // leaning in))
“Or perhaps, a singular thrilling night before the sun rises and the fun is over?”
((pause // leaning in))
“Or… are you looking for something darker? Something much more dangerous. Something soul shattering that will devour you whole? Something that makes you question your morals… Your boundaries… Something that will burn you to ash and will leave you begging me for more even once I break you?”
((kisses Wendy))
“Do you know what kind of danger you want yet, darling? That last one… It is not a wise idea for a sweet little lamb like you, but I promise... You’ll love it.”

I (female) live with two other sisters (one she/they). I am sub renting to them as I am renting the place from my boss. (Who has a couple rules, no smoking etc) When we first moved in everything was good and fun but the past few months it has been getting worse. They started drinking once or twice a month but now it is every weekend they are drinking and getting high. They also have a best friend who has recently been coming over every weekend and now even spending some week nights. She basically lives here now. BUT she is a heavy smoker, which is against the land lords rules. They don’t particularly care about his rules but I do because he is also my boss, and since I am subrenting to them it is kind of on me to keep them in check.
ANYWAY… their friend is fine but she is over all the time. She’s the kind of person where I can get along with her but I would never hang out with her outside of our mutual friends.
Well recently they got really drunk and they thought I was asleep. Well the walls are super thin and the one girls room is across from mine. I heard them having sex very loudly for like an hour. I don’t know if it was a recent thing or if they are friends with benefits but either way I am not sure what to do, as they have not told me about it and as far as I know they don’t know that I know…
Well I am not sure what to do. The girl is over all the time and I could see them wanting to move In together but it would have ti be approved by me and our land lord but I do not want to do that…
I also don’t want to hear them having sex all the time and it makes me uncomfortable that she is here so much. I want to say something to them, but I am afraid they will call me homophobic (I would feel the same if it was a guy, if not more strongly)
But given that our lives have changed so much and we are clearly going down different paths in our lives I don’t know what to do. I like them much better as friends, not as flatmates.
Am I the asshole for wanting to kick them out? Is there any advice you guys have??

so! i was originally posting this for my husband on a Christian subreddit, but he and a few friends wanted me to put it here just to see what happened
the gist of it:
My in-laws, we recently found out, have been pretending to like me and lying about their approval of our relationship. We have been together for four years and married for two. We have a child on the way. This just now came out.
His father is a crippling alcoholic. He would regularly beat his mother when my husband was a child and has, to this day, chosen to spend money on alcohol instead of food to feed his family or pets. They regularly came to us asking for either dog food or dinner because they literally had nothing. They owe over 3k to his grandfather from how often they borrow money. His mother would verbally abuse him and his brother, and neglect them because she refused to go to doctors for chronic pain and hormonal issues, and would blow up instead. To the point he once walked around on a broken ankle for months because she thought he was being overdramatic. He was ten when that happened. The only reason it was treated is because his grandfather saw how swollen it was and took him to the ER.
This came to a head when we decided we didn’t want our child to be exposed to that. We tried talking, and somehow it all exploded from there. I will admit I said things that were not appropriate, and my husband did too. If I have a chance to apologize for how I handled it I want too, but I was also threatened and know if I try to contact on social media I will be written very nastily to. But we found out a LOT they have been lying about.
1) they think I was being overdramatic about a miscarriage, and had actually just started my period. I was told this while simultaneously being cussed out. I had a miscarriage!! This is where I started shouting if I’m honest. Should I have, absolutely not, and I regret it now because it only escalated things.
2) I have somehow destroyed this family and my husband didn’t have a problem with anything until he met me. This is literally, factually incorrect. They have several times driven him to attempt to take his life before he had ever met me. His father would regularly mock him for attending therapy as an adult too. He would also insult and mock any interests he had, ANYTHING.
3) Neither of us are allowed to dictate who our child is around, because we aren’t “in charge” of the family and my husband is, according to his father, “a hypocrite who is too soft and isn’t acting like a man.” for trying to talk about how his childhood impacted him. He was then told all of his childhood was in his head and that he needed to figure it out himself. Because my FIL didn’t throw him into walls and beat him.
4) Neither of them have ever liked me, and accused me of using my husband for money and manipulating him into being a liberal. I am not a liberal. I have never been a liberal. Literally don’t even know where they got that from. The only idea I have is that they think me not wanting them to insult all of my husband’s hobbies is somehow making him too soft and therefore a liberal? Or that I don’t like when they randomly start talking about how much they hate gay people and think they’re child molestors?? I feel that’s a normal response from ANYONE. I’ve literally never discussed politics with them if you don’t count me not wanting to listen to that political?
5) We were then essentially kicked out from a family home that was near theres. I was told that only my husband would be allowed back, and that I would never be allowed near them again. They do not know I am pregnant, at this point I’m 5 weeks 6 day, and sincerely worried about how the stress might have impacted my baby. We found out his brother has never liked me either, but refuses to say why. Please note he is a huge mama’s boy, so I’m honestly suspicious that she’s been talking about me for a lot longer than we think.
So! I will be honest, if they hold that view of me I have no qualms not speaking to them. I will add that they both claim to be Christian, but are alcoholics, pop pills, cuss regularly, and have never discussed God, church, or even attended church in over 15 years. The few times I’ve heard them talk about God have been to try and get their own way, or to discuss the end times. They are essentially Christian by word and not action.
My husband hasn’t spoken to his mother at all, and when he tried to talk to his father again was essentially guilt tripped and lied to again. My FIL told him he was contemplating suicide since he was gone, and when my husband told him he was happier on our own, was then told his father was doing better without him too and to never expect any contact from him again. Anything my MIL has texted has boiled down to insulting me and telling him he’ll come crawling back eventually, so he obviously hasn’t responded.

So, I posted this theory a while back but it seems that most people didn’t read through it due to it being too long. So here I am back again with my best to briefly summarize the theory with the major points of evidence from the comics that I have found. It’s still going to be a lot but, hopefully, this will help get the broad idea across. Then if you have any specific points you can hopefully find them answered in the sections beneath it.
For context, you only need to read the Basic Premise section to get the basic gist of the theory, all the remaining sections are where I outline the evidence to support it.
~Basic Premise~

Nightcrawler is the Winding Way is basically the idea that X-Men’s Nightcrawler got his soul ripped in half when he was a child by his adopted mother – Margali Szardos – who used the magical half of Kurt’s soul to form the source of her power, the Winding Way.
Nightcrawler would have inherited this magical power from Azazel, who he is still technically biologically related to, as well as potentially the combination of genes from Mystique, Destiny, and Baron Wagner.
Amanda Sefton – after seeing Margali use Illyana’s Soul-Sword to obtain power in the Winding Way, took over Limbo to study it before fusing it with Kurt’s soul in the hopes of being able to use the Soul-Sword to undo her mother’s work and restore Kurt to being whole again.
Ultimately, Destiny gave the baby Kurt to Margali knowing full well she would do this to him to hide his true power from Enigma (the Nathaniel Essex that became a Dominion), who she had Kurt concieved in order to defeat.
Additionally, she told Margali of a prophecy about a Soul-Sword falling into Margali’s hands knowing that Margali would attempt to steal Belasco’s Soul-Sword, that Belasco would turn his attention to Nightcrawler to steal that magical power for herself which would result in Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco after he gave up trying to steal the power from Kurt and thus create said Soul-Sword as well as – eventually – the Hope-sword.

~Part 1 – Margali Szardos is the Worst Adoptive Mother of All Time~
Margali Szardos is a powerful witch in Marvel comics who has shown being particularly hungry for magical power – doing everything from manipulating her daughter, Amanda Sefton, into getting her Illyana’s Soul-Sword so that she could use it in a killing spree to obtain magical power from her victims (Excalibur #85), to attempting to steal the power of a demon living under London nearly destroying it in the process (Excalibur #100), to forcibly mind-swapping with her daughter to save herself leaving Amanda to be tortured by Belasco (revealed X-Men: Unlimited #19), opening a magical rift to the World Beyond to obtain its power which forced her daughter to sacrifice herself to close it (4^th Nightcrawler series #1-4), to finally selling Nightcrawler out to ORCHIS to obtain the Hope-sword that was lodged in Kurt’s chest (Legion of X #7-10).
All of these villainous actions raise an important question – why did Margali adopt Nightcrawler? After all, it’s not like Margali went around adopting children – only Nightcrawler. In fact, outside of Kurt, the only other child that Margali has ever displayed an interest in obtaining was a young Scarlet Witch (Mystic Arcanum: Scarlet Witch) which is concerning given just how magically powerful Scarlet Witch is.
This all points to the idea that Margali only took Kurt in because she got something out of it – very likely magical power. This wouldn’t be nearly so concerning if Margali Szardos wasn’t also the Sorceress Supreme of one of the most mysterious and unexplained magical systems in all of Marvel.
~Part 2 – The Winding Way is WIERD~
So, I’m just going to come out and say it - the Winding Way makes no sense in the current understanding of magic in Marvel Comics. Even characters like Dr. Strange – one of Marvel’s masters of magic – has basically no idea how the Winding Way actually operates. There is a data page in Legion of X #9 that outlines the basics of what the Winding Way is and how it operates.
According to the data page, the Winding Way is an exocentric magic system – that is to say a form of magic that is powered by an external source to the user – which its various wielders experience cycles of power and powerlessness. As far as characters like Strange are aware, it remains unclear if there is a physical “Way” or if that is simply metaphor.
The strange thing about the Winding Way is that there is no other magical system in Marvel where this cycle of users having powers and being powerless is even a thing. Whenever an exocentrically powered sorcerer loses their powers, it is always a form of punishment. This is true with Dr. Strange when he lost 99% of his powers back during the War of the Seven Spheres story. This is true with Juggernaut who loses his powers whenever he and Cyttorak – the entity that powers the crimson gem that Juggernaut uses for his powers. It’s even true for someone like Thor and his hammer. No where else in Marvel is there a system of magic where cycles of power is a thing.
All of this raises the question of whether the fluctuating cycles of power the Winding Way are actually a natural part of the Winding Way or whether they due to something else – like, say the power source of the Winding Way trying to continuously punish the various practitioners but being unable to due to their attention being split up.
Ultimately, the only truth that we can glean about the Winding Way is that nobody but the practitioners of the Winding Way ultimately know how it works and even then, characters like Margali and Amanda have proven time and again that their word cannot be trusted.
~Part 3 – the Szardos Family, Cthon, & Wundagore Mountain~
Interestingly, a different Sorcerer Supreme Sgt. Sebastian Szardos – the Sorcerer Supreme of World War II – has his own insights about the Winding Way, though they are rather vague. Firstly, in the 8^th series of Avengers #50, Sebastian claims that the Winding Way has ties with Mt. Wundagore – which was famously the tomb of Cthon before Scarlet Witch absorbed him. This seems to suggest that the Winding Way originates either via Cthon or his creation – the Darkhold.
What is more interesting is that the Winding Way doesn’t seem to be practiced during the time of the Second World War as Sgt. Szardos states that only his great grandmother on his mothers side even knew about the Winding Way – Sebastian himself clearly wasn’t a practicing member. This is peculiar as Margali Szardos demonstrates an unusual amount of familiarity with the position of Sorcerer Supreme in Uncanny X-Men Annual #4 when she stole the Eye of Agamotto off of Dr. Strange with a mere gesture. Given that Sebastian and Margali share the last name and Sebastian was a known former Sorcerer Supreme while Margali – as far as I can tell – has never been, this would seem to suggest that there is some sort of familial connection between Margali and Sebastian. This in turn seems to suggest that the Winding Way experienced some sort of revival with Margali.
My theory is that the Winding Way started out as a sort of ritual that originated with the Darkhold and was initially practiced by the Szardos family over the centuries to siphon power off of Cthon to keep him in check and imprisoned - hence why there are other Szardos clan members such as Theodosia as shown in that run of Avengers. This would mean that if my theory of Nightcrawler being the Winding Way is true, then it would mean that he is only the current source of the Winding Way.
~Part 4 – Nightcrawler is still related to Azazel (and Azazel is a demon)~
Now a major aspect in this is that Nightcrawler is where exactly would Nightcrawler’s magical powers come from? After all, he’s the son of Mystique and Destiny – two mutants with no sort of magical capabilities, right? Well, that’s… complicated.
Firstly, it’s important to note that the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon is… frankly, not very well thought out. There are a bunch of things that it just gets plain wrong and contradict a bunch of previously established X-Men lore – everything from the fact that Destiny would have been too old to give birth to Nightcrawler, to Rogue’s age being way too young (she was adopted by D&M when she was 13 not 5), to the fact that Mystique canonically cannot mimic mutant x-genes - meaning Nightcrawler shouldn’t have teleportation with this retcon, and much, much more. On top of all that, the fact that the only evidence supporting the idea that it ever even happened is from Mystique and Destiny – two of Marvel’s most notorious liars – and you got yourself an extremely messy and rather dubious retcon.
Putting all that aside, going based on what the retcon has established there are a few ways in which Kurt might have inherited some sort of magical power.
Primarily, Kurt is still technically related to Azazel – yes, Mystique “mimicked” Azazel’s DNA in Kurt’s conception but given that in genetics it is the sequence of DNA that matters and not the source of that sequence, Mystique’s “Mimicked” DNA is still ostensibly Azazel’s DNA. Azazel is an established master of dark magic – specifically soul magic – and used to rule over a legit Hell Dimension during the time of Kurt’s birth – making him a legit hell lord similar to Mephisto or Dormammu. Given that Hell Lords are also considered the Sorcerer Supremes (as in the strongest) of their respective dimension, this would suggest that Azazel once held some major power, regardless of if he’s a demon or not. And as it has been established, magic is inheritable as shown with Clea (the daughter of Umar), Daimon Hellstrom (son of Marduk Kurios), and at least half the cast of Strange Academy, it would stand to reason that Nightcrawler could also inherit magical power from him.
Now, I know what you are saying – “But, Azazel isn’t a demon! Chuck Austen said so!” And while, yes, Chuck Austen has clearly gone on record to say that Azazel is only a demonic looking mutant instead of an actual demon, it’s been kind of invalidated by the thing that every other writer for Azazel – including the likes of Chris Claremont – have referred to Azazel as a demon at least once either on-panel or in interviews. And frankly, there’s nothing in the lore that says that Azazel cannot be both a demon and a mutant – after all, Magik is both a demon and a mutant at the same time. And let’s be real here, Chuck Austen doesn’t deserve nice things when it comes to the X-Men.
However, Azazel is not the only DNA that Mystique apparently mimicked – Baron Christian Wagner was also added onto that list for some reason. This is odd as why would Destiny and Mystique feel the need to include Baron Wagner at all in the genetic makeup of Nightcrawler unless there was something special about the Baron. However, the only uniquely genetic thing we learn about him is that he’s seemingly infertile – which may suggest that there is some sort of genetic anomaly going on with him, such as maybe a repressed X-gene.
~Part 5 – Amanda Sefton/Jimaine Szardos history in Marvel Comics~
Another aspect of this theory is that – if it is true – it suddenly explains a lot of what Kurt’s ex, Amanda Sefton has been doing in comics since she was first introduced in 1976. You see, Amanda Sefton followed Kurt back from Germany and began dating him under a different name – which Kurt was not aware of. She only reveals the truth after the events of Uncanny X-Men Annual #4. This unfortunately supports Kurt’s accusation in Uncanny X-Men #206 that Amanda used a spell to make Kurt fall in love with her to begin with – an accusation which Amanda has never confirmed nor denied.
Amanda’s peculiar behavior continued into Excalibur where she was manipulated by Margali into obtaining Illyana’s Soul-Sword from Kitty Pryde – who had previously given the Soul-Sword to Dr. Doom and then Darkoth, with it returning to her both times. Upon obtaining the Soul-Sword, Margali then used it to go on a killing spree against the other members of the Winding Way to obtain their power for herself. Following this, Margali’s failed attempt to steal the power of a demon beneath London, and Kurt and Margali rescuing Amanda from Belasco after Margali body-swapped with her daughter to save her own skin – Amanda ended up taking over Limbo, supposedly in the name of protecting earth.
However, then we have the smoking gun of Amanda’s meddling – during the 3^rd Nightcrawler solo series, it is revealed that Amanda fused the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler without telling him. Her reason for doing so? “To protect the Soul-Sword from falling into the wrong hands.” This lie is so glaringly bad that not even Nightcrawler buys it and he calls Amanda out for not being honest with him.
~Part 6 – Amanda’s Bad Lie and What it Means~
And frankly why would anyone believe Amanda’s claim? Amanda is a sorceress – which means that she is infinitely more qualified than Nightcrawler to keep the Soul-Sword safe than he is. Even if she couldn’t do so, why didn’t she take the Soul-Sword to someone like Dr. Strange?
On top of that, Amanda took the Soul-Sword away from Kitty Pryde claiming that Kitty wasn’t qualified to keep the Soul-Sword safe due to her not being a trained sorceress. Well, guess who’s also not trained in sorcery and thus – by Amanda’s own logic - would not be able to keep the Soul-Sword safe? Nightcrawler.
Except, Kitty technically was able to keep the Soul-Sword out of the wrong hands – back during Excalibur #37 she phased the Soul-Sword into a rock which even Rachel Summers channeling the power of the Phoenix Force was not able to remove it from – it wasn’t removed until Doom came knocking and got Kitty to willingly remove it for him. So why couldn’t Amanda do something similar? Why fuse it with Kurt and endanger him?
And to top it all off, Amanda still needed the Soul-Sword. She was ruling over Limbo – a dangerous hell dimension full of power-hungry demons. Her magical powers are of the Winding Way – meaning that they wax and wane. So quite literally, Amanda needs the Soul-Sword – a weapon which every demon in Limbo fears – to keep herself in power; something which was proven in New X-Men #37 when Belasco walked back into Limbo and ousted her.
~Part 7 – Amanda took over Limbo to learn about the Soul-Sword~
So, what was Amanda really up to? Well, to understand Amanda’s actions in the 3^rd Nightcrawler series, we first need to go back to Amanda’s actions in previous series. What’s interesting is that Amanda’s interest in the Soul-Sword was first manifest through Margali – who reveals in Excalibur: Minus One that there is a prophecy that the Soul-Sword would pass first into Margali’s hands and then into Amanda’s hands but would result in both of their dooms.
However, Amanda doesn’t really demonstrate any sort of interest in the Soul-Sword until after Margali used it to obtain power in the Winding Way during Excalibur. While she didn’t get the opportunity to act after the events of Margali’s failed London project due to her mother mind-swapping with her, Amanda’s actions in taking over Limbo after X-Men: Unlimited #19 was more likely due to Amanda wanting to obtain and learn more about the Soul-Sword than about her trying to protect earth.
You see, as Limbo was in no position to even threaten earth until Belasco had obtained the Soul-Sword following Margali ending up there – meaning that if Amanda had simply obtained the Soul-Sword and left Limbo, Limbo would not have been able to endanger Earth. Instead, Amanda stayed. Why? Because if there was anywhere in the universe where you wanted to learn about a Soul-Sword and how it works, Limbo is the dimension to do so.
~Part 8 – Nightcrawler and Magik are… Soulmates?~
So, why did Amanda fuse the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler? Well, ultimately because a major function of the Soul-Sword is that it can be used as a countercharm which can undo other spells – potentially meaning that Amanda could use it to undo the Winding Way and restore the two halves of Kurt’s soul back together again.
However, another aspect of the Soul-Sword is that it is dangerous to magical creatures and Kurt’s magical soul would already be weakened after years of being separated. Amanda must have figured that if she bonded the non-magical half of Kurt’s soul to the Soul-Sword would allow for her to bypass the more dangerous aspects of the Soul-Sword and allow her to restore Kurt.
And as a result of Amanda’s meddling, when a demonically possessed Pixie ripped the Soul-Sword out of Nightcrawler during X-Infernus, it left behind a void in Kurt’s Soul as established in Legion of X #10, which allowed for the Hopesword to later form. This also seemingly gave Illyana’s Soul-Sword a new ability to damage Techno-Organic beings which it did not possess before. This also means that Nightcrawler and Magik are… soul-mates(?) for the lack of a better term, as they are both bound together through the Soul-Sword after Amanda undid Illyana’s bond with Kitty, though this fact has never been established or confirmed in the comics.
~Part 9 – Destiny caused Magik to be kidnapped by Belasco~
Now, I noted in an earlier section that Margali’s fascination with the Soul-Sword was as a result of a prophecy – one that has at least partially come true. The prophecy as laid out during a flashback in Exalibur: Minus One was that the Soul-Sword would pass from into Margali’s hands and then Amanda’s but would result in both of their dooms. Illyana’s Soul-Sword was indeed obtained by Margali back in Excalibur #85 before she lost it to Belasco after falling to Limbo and the Soul-Sword was obtained again by Amanda after taking Limbo over in X-Men: Unlimited #19.
Now, this whole situation is peculiar as Margali herself is not a precog – outside of this one time, we never even hear her do anything similar ever again. However, we know that Destiny is a precog and we also know that she was the one who gave Kurt to Margali, as per the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon, meaning that this prophecy more than likely originates with Destiny. And really, this shouldn’t be a surprise – Mystique hinted at having some sort of a connection with Margali as far back as UXM #142 when she first met Nightcrawler, it was just never clarified what that connection was.
However, this prophecy would have been given to Margali before the Soul-Sword was ever made and before Illyana was even born, which means that either Destiny could predict Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco and creating the Soul-Sword as a result… or she caused Belasco to kidnap Illyana and create the Soul-Sword as a result.
Now, you may question how that’s even possible? After all, how could Destiny cause someone like Belasco to do something when the two haven’t even canonically met?
Well, for this, I would like to point out the unexplained animosity going on between Margali Szardos and Belasco. This is a rivalry that has been mentioned quite a few times – such as back in Excalibur: Minus One, X-Men: Unlimited #19, and the 3^rd Nightcrawler series. For some unexplained reason, Margali Szardos and Belasco have a lot of enmity for one another.
So, what’s the cause of this rivalry? Well, during the Dark Web event, Mary Jane Watson and Black Cat were captured by Belasco and sent to retrieve his Soul-Sword – which, as it is explained in the story is something that Belasco could not potentially use up until the events of Dark Web.
So here’s an idea – what if Destiny didn’t specify which Soul-Sword would end up in Margali’s hands, causing Margali to immediately assume that she was talking about Belasco’s (as that would have been the only one in existence at that point) and try to steal it from him.
This then drew Belasco’s attention and caused him to realize that Nightcrawler was somehow the source of Margali’s powers. This would be why Belasco even had his eyes on the X-Men to begin with and why there was a soulless Nightcrawler back in the original Magik series – Kurt was Belasco’s original target. However, the soulless Nightcrawler and Belasco’s obvious shift in attention to Illyana clearly points to the idea that whatever experiments Belasco tried to use to obtain that magical power from Kurt, it only ended in disaster – causing him to turn to Illyana as a replacement.
~Part 10 – the Big Picture… stopping Enigma~
So, if Destiny was ultimately the cause behind all of this – from orchestrating Kurt’s birth, to handing him off to Margali, to telling Margali the prophecy about the Soul-Sword, what is it all ultimately for?
Well, what it is almost certainly not for is the given answer of defeating Azazel. Simply put, Azazel has never been so major of a threat that creating a super special prophecy child was needed. Heck, he was killed in Dark X-Men by the demonic version of Nightcrawler, so how difficult would it have been for Mystique and Destiny to do it? No, Azazel’s defeat was a bonus that Irene used to justify Kurt’s birth to Raven, not the focus.
Ultimately, there’s only one answer as to who Kurt was conceived to stop – Enigma. The original Nathaniel Essex who transcended space and time and who Irene knew to be an existential threat to all Mutantkind.
This answer even explains some of Irene’s other past actions, such as why she was involved with the Black Womb project – yes, she was keeping an eye on Sinister, but she was also learning as much about the mutant x-gene in preparation for Kurt’s birth.
It also explains why she handed Kurt over to Margali at all – the Winding Way is described in the datapages of Legion of X as being something akin to a No-Place – something that Enigma and other Dominions famously have trouble seeing into. Thus, by hiding Kurt’s magical half in the No-place until the time was right and creating the means by which to release him from that prison, Destiny ensures Enigma’s defeat.
Or does she? Because as far as the current X-Men comics have been going, there is nowhere near the development needed to have my theory take place. At this point, only the Hopesword is established which begs the question of whether the Winding Way is meant to be the thing to stop Enigma or if the Hopesword is. As of this point in X-Men Forever (2024) #4, the Hopesword is what was needed to stop Enigma… for some reason. So far, all that the sword has accomplished is being handed off from Kurt to Exodus to Hope… who was then killed by the Phoenix and sent the Hopesword back to Kurt. We’ll have to wait and see if anything else comes of it.
Personally though, I kind of like the idea that everything Destiny did in orchestrating the creation of the Hopesword and/or the Winding Way was kind of a pointless thing in the end. It’s kind of poignant for Destiny’s character – being the same woman who thought that killing Senator Kelly would prevent the Days of Future’s Past Timeline when she was in fact going to cause that very timeline to happen – to have all her manipulations and schemes to create this weapon against the existential threat that Enigma presented… only to have that threat be dealt with in some other way, leaving Irene to deal with the consequences of her own actions and question whether it was worth putting Kurt through all of that. Maybe that’s just me though.
Conclusion
So yeah, that’s most of the evidence supporting this theory. There are a few other things – such as Margali potentially being the reason why Kurt was killed during Second Coming and potentially causing his mental break down during the Extraordinary X-Men story, but those are more auxiliary to these major points.
But yeah, let me know what you guys think down below. Do you think this theory is onto something or is it way off base?

Long post, sorry.
Be patient with me- My previous dog, I found wandering around a parking lot, so this is my first time purchasing a dog, and I’m afraid I might have encountered a backyard breeder (although it’s hard for me to tell, I’m not good at determining a good breeder from a bad one).
She had her dogs listed on puppies.com, and I wasn’t planning on even getting a dog. I honestly was just scrolling because my old dog passed away this year and I’ve been extremely depressed without him, so looking at pictures of other dogs sometimes cheers me up a little.
Then I stumbled across a puppy that stopped me in my tracks because he looked so similar to my old dog. I contacted the breeder and asked about him. She told me he’s 16 weeks and she really wants to sell him with his brother, but would be willing to to sell just one.
I didn’t know anything about littermate syndrome and thought separating two dogs she said were bonded would cause them anxiety, so I told her I’d get both and put a $500 deposit. She texted me that they are up to date on their shots.
Then, I started doing research on how to potty train two dogs at once, and every single article I read said not to get two puppies from the same litter.
I called back the breeder and expressed my concerns, and told her because of my research, I will only be getting one dog. She got extremely mad and told me she already posted on social media that both have found a home. She then told me that chihuahuas are dogs that need to be with other dogs in the house, and people who have only got one dog from her call her back all the time telling her they wished they had listened and gotten 2. She was throwing so much information at me, telling me how she has sold 2 all the time and not one dog has ever developed littermate syndrome. I told her I’d call her back in the morning with my decision, even though I’d already made up my mind on getting just one. I just wanted to ease the tension.
The next day, I called her back and said I’d only be getting one, and that I was not willing to debate the issue any further because the research was clear. Then, despite me already putting the deposit down, she told me she’s going to call someone else first to see if they’ll take both dogs before she’d give just the one to me.
Later she texted and said the person was not willing, so I could have just the one. To me, this proved she was motivated solely by profit, because if she truly believed that they need to be together, she would’ve never backed off in the span on 24 hours. I proceeded to tell her that I felt disrespected by the way she spoke to me, and threw her logic right back at her, saying that I could l not in good conscience take just the one if all that she said yesterday was true.
Note: I have a speech impediment. It’s very noticeable. And she noticed, and interpreted I guess as me being autistic. She texted me that she could tell I’m on the spectrum (which I’m not at all), and told me “I’m not your enemy. I’m not trying to belittle you. You’re in flight or fight mode.”
Other red flags about this breeder. She has numerous litters. She has puppies that are 15 weeks, 4 weeks, and 3 weeks. She has blue merle chihuahuas. She told me that dogs on medications only live 8-9 years, that heartworm prevention meds kill their livers and kidneys and to not let my vet push any more vaccines on then then the ones they’ve received. She also heavily pushed back when I told her I plan to crate train.
Looking back, I feel bad about myself that I even contacted her to begin with. It was absolutely against my better judgment and a decision made purely on the emotion of missing my old dog. Not going to lie though, I do feel really hurt by the whole thing and it’s made me nervous about ever getting another dog.
Note to add: I check my shelter on a regular basis. Unfortunately 95% of the dogs in the shelter near me are pit bulls or shepherds. Nothing against those breeds, but I’m scared of all big dogs after an attack when I was young and love chihuahuas. I’ve always heard chis and chi mixes are popular at shelters, but I’ve never seen one in mine, and that’s the breed I want

I’m 23. In my culture, at this age, elders arrange blind dates for us. I didn’t really want to participate, but my parents insisted that I do. So, I went along and met her. Over the next few months, we chatted online almost every day, and I realized we had a lot in common. I fell in love with her. However, recently she told me she doesn’t really like me. I already knew it; the whole thing was just my wishful thinking. I’ve prepared her birthday presents, but I don’t want to continue. I think I should tell her that I’m over it. I mean, now that she said she doesn’t love me, why should I persevere? I’ve been through a lot, and my heart is already broken. I’m more afraid of getting hurt than falling in love. Before she broke my heart, I thought I should run away from this situation. So, I’ve decided to give her the birthday present and tell her we’re done. For the past few months, I’ve tried my best to make her happy, care about her emotions, and talk to her when she’s sick. I’ve told her that everything will be okay. But she’s never done the same for me. Throughout my life, I’ve longed for someone who could say, ‘Don’t worry, everything will be okay.’ Even my parents never said this to me. I realize that no one can truly take care of my feelings, so I’ve become an introverted person. Maybe someday, when I look back on this, I hope I can say, ‘Yeah, I tried my best, and I don’t regret it.’ And when she recalls this, she’ll say, ‘He’s a good person, but we just don’t fit.‘. Maybe after this I’ll never love anyone again, I’m afraid that someday I won’t love her anymore and also afraid someday she won’t love me anymore. Not matter what, I think it’s all my fault, can’t to trust, can’t to love, can’t to persevere, that’s me.

Hi Reddit,
I can’t believe I’m writing this post, but this has been on my mind for the past few months and I really need some external input. I need help to figure out if I’m in a toxic relationship, if there’s something I can do to fix it, if I’m over sensitive, or is it time for me to end this?
Context: I (M26) and my girlfriend (F25) have been together for 2.5 years, and known each other for 8 years. We both live in the U.S. but I’m from Europe and she’s from Central America, met in college. Issues started 2 years ago but when things are good she’s amazing (funny/beautiful/caring/makes me feel unconditionally loved/etc) and I always thought the issues were friction we could iron out together. With time I have grown increasingly skeptical of that. This is my first relationship (longer than 3 months) so at the same time I’m worried that maybe I am overly skeptical, that I only see my perspective and fail to see hers. I want to be fair to her, because I love her and care deeply for her as a person, I am just starting to resent the relationship.
History of issues: To me the issues are all centered in my girlfriends anxiety. Frequently, rather than being vulnerable, she projects her anxiety on me and accusing me of all kinds of things. I have both tried to shake off those moments, to recognize that this isn’t her but her anxiety talking, but it still affects me deeply. Not only when it occurs, but when I am doing something and she seems fine I still worry that maybe I will do something wrong and she will snap and this moment will turn to a life or death situation. I have also obviously communicated my concern over this behavior repeatedly, and every time after she takes things too far she apologizes and takes ownership and we come up with a strategy to avoid the issue from repeating. This all sounds very healthy, I think, but the problem is that we’ve had these issues and conversations 25+ times and here we still are. Some things have gotten better for sure but it still feels unbearable to me. Let me provide three examples to illustrate our issues (from my perspective).
Example 1 - 1.5 years ago: My best friend and I were victims of attempted robbery from people affiliated with organized crime, the event went to court, and after the trial we wanted to get away from everything. My girlfriend and I had planned to go to a Caribbean island shortly after, so I invited my friend to come a week before my girlfriend and leave the day she arrived. We were both pretty shaken up and just wanted to talk things out and enjoy a tropical paradise. The first night my friend and I arrive (girlfriend still in the US) she starts texting fervently that my friend and I shouldn’t see any of the sights so she and I can see them together for the first time. I get where she’s coming from but this is also a challenging time for me and my best friend so I am not willing to completely sacrifice his week with me to appease my girlfriend. Things escalate and she demands my attention all the time. When my friend and I is out she is calling me 50+ times in a row, texting me that if I love her I would respond and that I am ruing hers and mine vacation and though I’m trying to deescalate I don’t see how to. I end up turning off my phone, although she begs me not to, but I’m still in my head unable to enjoy the night. When I turn my phone back on next day there’s a picture of herself with a cut (very shallow but still) saying I made her do this. This event is the low point of our relationship, and I told her if she ever hurts herself or threatens to hurt herself I’m out, and to be fair to her she has not once since hurt herself. Nonetheless, the calls continue after this (50+ a day) and I spent 3-4h a day on the phone with her and neglecting the trip with my best friend. Damn writing this out really makes me ashamed for not standing my ground back then. Anyways, this really colored the trip with my childhood friend and I think I still resent myself and her for making that happen.
Example 2 - 0.5 years ago: I visited a close childhood friend in South America for 2.5 weeks. Because of the events that transpired in example 1, my girlfriend was nervous for my trip. She expressed worry that she would act out in the same way as my last trip. I really appreciated this self-awareness. We therefore talked extensively about how to avoid issues. The first few days were alright, with her being anxious but being vulnerable about it and we managed well, calling once a day and texting 15-20 messages a day (more than I’d want, but that’s a compromise I’m okay with). At this point I make a mistake, but her reactions to it is (in my head at least) not proportional. I told her I was going out with my friend and his friend that weekend, and she expressed that this would make her anxious that I would cheat on her. So I asked what can I do, and we decided I’d send her a text once I left the pre-game, once I left the club, and call her once I got back to my friends place. A little bit much I thought, but I love her so a fair compromise for now. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the moment at the pre-game, and forgot to text my girlfriend. I realized as I was walking home from the club with 25+ missed calls and a bunch of emotional messages about how I forgot because I was around beautiful women and how I don’t love her. Here I understand her pain. She was vulnerable, I agreed to a compromise and I didn’t fulfill my end. 25+ calls is never productive but hey I had some blame here. The following day I call her for 1.5 hours apologizing and we talk things out, and it feels like though she is feeling anxious that she accepts my apology and we have now managed to resolve my mistake. The same night my friend and his friends are going to someone else’s house for a BBQ (which I told my girlfriend about days before). An hour before we are about to leave my girlfriend starts telling me to talk to her on the phone, because I hurt her so bad and when I say I can’t because we are 10 people having a beer before we head out she says she doesn’t care and that I hurt her and now she “wants to make my life miserable”. I tell her “hey I understand you’re upset but I never want to hear those words from the person I love. I know I hurt you but never intentionally”. She says she doesn’t care and keeps calling me non-stop for 40 minutes and I’m worried that if I don’t pick up she will start to call my friend. I try to deescalate and beg her to take a step back and that she is pushing me away by doing this. The whole thing culminates by me getting out of the Uber towards the barbecue and telling my friends that I think my girlfriend and I are breaking up and I need to deal with it. I am crying as I say this and feel so damn embarrassed. Even writing it now I can’t believe this actually happened. Damn. Anyways, as soon as I tell her that I am no longer going to the bbq and I left my friends car she becomes a different person (the person I love) and tells me she is so sorry and realize she took it too far and begs me to order an Uber to the BBQ. She says she’ll pay for it and begs me to go. At that point I’m just so embarrassed at the whole thing and tell her something along the lines of “why the fuck did you push me this far then. I told you you are pushing me away”. I head home, and wonder how someone who loves me so much can intentionally cause me so much harm and I seriously begin to doubt if her and I will ever work. I tell her I don’t think I want to be in the relationship, but that I recognize I’m emotional so I need 7 days without contact to process my thoughts. I won’t block her, but if she reaches out I will. She does reach out (albeit with a nice message) but I still block her.
I probably should have left the relationship here, but damn I love her, we live together, and at this point she was depending on me for her visa to stay in the country. I don’t want to rip all that apart from her. So I say I don’t know if we’ll ever feel okay, but I’m willing to give this one last chance.
To her defense, she take a lot of new steps at this point. She tells her mom and sister everything that happened (including her trust issues and jealousy), she starts with anxiety medication and starts being more vulnerable with her therapist. I am still skeptical that things will actually be okay, but I recognize the effort she puts in and I really appreciate it. The frequency of our arguments decrease, and more disputes now end before they become arguments.
Example 3 - Yesterday: My GF flew to Vegas with three of her girlfriends (I know two of them very well) and I know it’s a high risk trip for someone in a relationship but I honestly have complete trust in my GF. I decided to do a dinner with 3 of my friends (who my GF knows equally well, we’re all in a group chat together and do things regularly together) and they invited a 4th person who was part of our sports team (my girlfriend met her 2-3 times, just like me).
She texts me from Vegas asking who’s coming to the dinner and once she finds out this 4th person is coming she asks nicely if we cannot be in someone else’s apartment. When I say hey I’m sorry but I already said we could be at my place she asks at least don’t smoke weed together (my friends are stoners so 100% chance they’ll bring weed), and I say “I’m sorry but I won’t tell them not to and I’ll join In too if they bring it but you have nothing to worry about. I love you and I’ll call you as soon as they leave?” My girlfriend then goes into panic mode and calls me nonstop throughout dinner. I go to the bathroom and begs her to stop, tells her she is ruining this for me, and ask her to trust me. She still calls nonstop until they leave. I try to keep a brave face but again it really ruins the dinner for me.
At this point I have told her how actions like these makes me feel uneasy and prevents me from enjoying life. I told her I need her to trust me. I told her that I won’t have it anymore. And if anything the idea that she doesn’t trust me around 3 people she knows well with a 4th stranger while she’s at a pool party in bikini in Vegas just seems so hypocritical it makes me ever more frustrated.
In her defense: - Her dad cheated multiple times while she was growing up. I understand this makes it excruciatingly difficult to trust a partner. - She started seeing a therapist ~8 months ago. - She now takes medication for her anxiety. - She now has told her mom and sister about her trust issues for the first time in her life. - She began attending codependency meetings regularly. - She says she doesn’t want me to limit my life just for me to communicate better what I’m doing (I think it’s really possible that I’m bad at communicating, because to me this request feels like it comes from a lack of trust).
She is putting in immense effort, but I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. Even when things are good I’m worried that she’s going to explode and that prevents me from enjoying the good times too. I love her and she’s amazing in many ways, but I don’t like feeling responsible for her suffering. I know that by trying to end things she’s going to suffer so much and she’ll beg me to give her another chance. I don’t want to but in those moments I feel like she’s the rational version of herself and that maybe she’ll never explode again. Can I solve my relationship with her? Is it time to leave? Is it fair to leave when she is putting in so much effort? How do I find the courage to go through with it?
Thanks so much in advance, and I’m sorry for such a lengthy post.
TL;DR: I’m I overly sensitive, can this relationship be fixed, or is it time to breakup? Is it fair to breakup if the other person is putting so much effort in?

But even typing this, it doesn’t feel real. I still have hope tonight that he can change. I feel so stupid.
I am 38F and he is 39M.
I am devastated. I would do anything and everything to be married forever, but it’s no longer an option and hasn’t been since the fourth month of our marriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant with his child and he assaulted me with a metal cup in the car while he was driving on the freeway because I wouldn’t stop saying why he was upsetting me. The fight continued when we got home and he had called the police, lied to them and had me arrested. Eight weeks pregnant. With bruises up and down my body. I got arrested. I spent the night in jail and had to listen to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time from a county jail exam table.
Somehow, through that, we stayed married. Abuse makes you do wild things. It changes your brain. Abusers purposely make you confused. Through counseling, I am coming out of the confusion now, though.
I could go on and on about the abuse I have suffered. I am here today because typing this makes it real that I am leaving. And I am here today because I need support in understanding that he is not going to change.
This morning things escalated by 8am. This is typical weekend behavior. I discovered that he has been smoking cigarettes in one of the vehicles that is in my name and that I pay for, and that I have asked him not to smoke in repeatedly. I do not smoke. I think it’s gross. And it has ruined the interior of this vehicle that is expensive. Not only that, but our child has asthma. Most likely because he IS a smoker. Anyway, I grabbed something out of the vehicle for his 6yo and I came back in and simply said “please don’t smoke in the truck anymore. Please don’t tell me that you haven’t been either.” This sent him into a spiral. He called me names and said that I am controlling. He started following me around the house screaming behind my head. He is nearly a foot taller than me and this is physically intimidating to me. So much so that my hands start to shake, my heart races and my thoughts become blurry when he does this. I knew at this point it was best for me to get our child and leave. So I was doing that. But this morning he would not let me leave the bedroom and was blocking me from leaving with our child with his body in the doorway. I told him I was going to call non-emergency if he didn’t move. And he would not. So I was trying to figure out how to call but my hands were shaking so bad and my brain was so jumbled I gave up and called my sister on speaker. I asked her to call the police. As soon as he saw her name on my phone he moved and let me leave. He yelled at me and our child out the door and to the neighborhood “see - I’m so scary - I’m letting you leave”. I got our child in the backseat and drove down the street to park and get them dressed. They were only in a pull up. I saw the officer coming down the road and flagged him down. I told him what happened and he went and talked with him. I left with our child and went to my sisters. Eventually we came home and he has been upstairs ever since. This is also typical. He will have an outburst. And then go upstairs and not speak to me for a week. And then one morning he’ll just wake up and decide that it’s time to be normal again. And generally comes to me and says “have you calmed down”. Which, as you can imagine, perpetuates the situation further. And drags it on. He does not understand accountability.
We have been married 3.5 years, together for 5 total. We have one child together (2yo) and he has two other children (6yo and 14yo).
We moved in together after 9 months of dating. That is when the abuse started. The first time he was physically abusive, he broke through our bedroom door. Broke. The entire door - down. Somehow, I decided to continue.
From the start, I’ve known it was never going to last. He is unstable. He has a long and dark history of mental illness (both himself and his immediate maternal and paternal family). In addition to struggling with substance abuse his entire life. His childhood is tragic and full of heartache. It shaped the man he is today, and not for the better.
He is in the trades industry and has a GED. I am a director level professional and have a college degree. His father was in prison for the last half of his childhood and eventually took his life when he was released. My father is a retired architect, Vietnam vet. We grew up completely different. Both of our parents divorced. He then suffered verbal and emotional abuse from his step father. I suffered verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from my mother.
I believe my mother is a narcissist and undiagnosed. And I believe my husband has narcissistic tendencies and/or is one. But I am not a medical professional. I am going on what I’ve experienced with both of them.
When we first met, he was 34 and I was 33. He was unemployed and really not doing well. Drinking in access. A lot. Everyday. But I did not know. I was doing very well. I had spent my 20s creating a fulfilling and financially successful career. He spent his 20s job hopping and, quite honestly, messing around. But we had fun together. But having fun together is not real life.
Here is where the manipulation began. He was upfront about his upbringing and past. And was genuinely making steps towards a better life. He is a born again Christian. And as an educated person, I believe he has grabbed on to what is actually important in the Bible. However, he is unable to abide by what a husband biblically should be. He does not love, protect or provide for me or our child. We joined a church, I became involved and made friends, and we went there as a family for multiple years. Until one night he showed up drunk, and I never went back.
I am the breadwinner. I pay for ev. ry. thing. He keeps his entire paycheck and will not give me money to pay bills. He will also not physically pay the bills. I manage and pay all bills. But not because I don’t want him to. I have begged, cried, and tried a million different systems (both digital and analog) to make him involved. And he flat out refuses. He abused our shared checking by taking money out to “pay bills” from his personal checking account and then did not pay those bills and spent the money. So I would then have to pay multiple months and late fees to catch up. Many. Many. Times.
In addition to not contributing financially, he does not contribute to the household upkeep or yard maintenance. Literally nothing. If I want the yard kept, I do it, or I pay someone to do it. If something on a vehicle goes out, I make the appointment and consult with the technician. But again, not because I want to, but because he will not participate. Or if he does, it’s half assed and more work for me. He does not grocery shop or cook. He has never cooked one meal for me. I think he’s maybe gotten a bowl of ice cream for me a couple times? He does not clean. He has cleaned the bathroom in our home two times. We have lived here 4 years. We live in separate bedrooms because he won’t pickup after himself. His room is squalor. Clothes on every square inch. Fast food wrappers. No sheet on mattress. I have cleaned it for him many times in hopes that we could make a drastic change and start sleepin next to each other again. But he refuses. I know this sounds insane that I have stayed married. It sounds insane to me.
He verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and financially abuses me. Maybe not all at once, everyday. But one of them most likely daily now. Or a couple. It’s been a very long time since there has been a long stretch of stability or peace.
However, I am changing all of that this year. I have hired an attorney and am climbing through the paperwork right now.
On Christmas morning last year, before we hosted family that day, he threw a (heavy) laundry basket full of dirty clothes at me as I was going down the stairs because I asked him for help with something. And after the first one hit me, I sat down and covered my head so I wouldn’t fall, and he threw another one at me. I don’t know how I masked my raw emotions through the rest of the day with family over. I ate not one bite. I pushed my food around my plate and tried to make my face contort into normal emotions for the day.
But I stayed. Again.
Mother’s Day morning this year. Just one week ago - I spent it locked in my bedroom with our child paying the divorce attorney retainer fee on the laptop as he screamed at me what a piece of shit mother and wife I am. I honestly don’t even know what I did or remember why it escalated. Most likely because it was a holiday - and not about him.
I am exhausted. I have lost close to 30lbs since January. People are beginning to notice.
I wanted a family more than anything. I adore my child. I spend my days and nights dreaming up ways to enrich their life. I wanted family vacations and world travel. I wanted to host, big, extended family holiday gatherings. I wanted my little baby to know what it felt like to have a mom and dad at home together every night. But not at this cost. The very worst part of my parenting is staying married. I am a bad parent every day that I stay here.
I wish I could file the petition and fast forward a year. I know I’ll be okay. It’s ripping off the bandaid that hurts.

My Advice As a 2024 High school Graduate
My last day of Senior year is tomorrow and I have a few things I wanna say to those of you still in middle school/ high school.
Things I believe I did well - and things I believe you should do well too :)
• Push yourself out of your comfort zone - whether that be by taking a hard class or doing that activity you’re iffy about. You can always drop something if it’s too hard but it’s better to start and fail than never try. I took AP Chem my junior year and it kicked my ass, but in the end it was my favorite class in high school and I passed the exam :) Science rocks.
• This is SOOOOO cliche, but please, do something you actually like in high school. I participated in activities I actually cared deeply about and was able to talk about to other people as well as write about in college/ scholarship applications. I got into a top university and a bunch of scholarships. Just make it a priority to do things you like - no matter what it is - and be a leader in it.
• Be friendly to everyone, yes, even the people you despise. Honestly, you never know who will be able to help you down the line. The treasurer at my school is notoriously mean and I actually made the effort to get to know her and speak to her kindly. She then waived all of my school fees so I didn’t have to pay anything. And not just because they can do something for you but because being kind is just what’s right.
Things I wish I did/ did better - don’t be like me!
• Tell my best friend about my feelings for him. I’ve loved him for 4 years and have always been too shy/insecure to say anything about it. And now he’s going away for university, we’ll never be together like we were in high school again. Just bite the bullet and move on, not worth the tears lol. But oddly I don’t necessarily regret this decision. (Wish I would’ve had just ONE boyfriend at least lmao)
• I wish I was less insecure. People do not care about you like you think they do. This sounds harsh but there’s freedom in this truth. Wear what you want, don’t cover your smile when you laugh, take that picture (because when you graduate - or in 20 years - you’ll wish you had that stupid photo of you from Freshman year)
• Fixed this cursed sleep schedule and formed better habits. I have an abomination of a sleep Schedule. I get 4 hours on average and have no idea what it’s like to feel well rested. Since I’m always tired I don’t go to the gym and yeah - downward spiral. Health is the most valuable thing you can possess, treat yourself kindly.
Good luck everyone!

Hi I am lost on what to do I can't go to shelters as I am a high risk pregnancy and my town doesn't expect it due to being sued before. When I was 20 I got an apartment and let my brothers side chick move in (didn't know she was a side chick at the time) she had guys SAing me for "Free drugs" I started taking them because I couldn't understand what was happening I didn't think she was letting them in when she left I ended up in the hospital and my sister and mom cleaned up my apartment and got them out and I was scared so I was ready to end it a friend called and invited me drinking I'm not a drinker but I said why not mine as well have fun before I go to the void (yes I believe in God but I don't want to think my dad is in h^ll) I met a girl from my system days and she asked to stay one thing lead to another and I started dating my ex (she moved in and a friend moved in and her friends moved in) I was drunk and asked him out he agreed and we started dating we were bumping fluffy butts daily then I got evicted because I couldn't pay I hadn't given my mental health services my money to manage i ended up in a hotel that kicked us out because we couldn't pay the full week turns out we were on the floor that they were human trafficking people on well me and my boyfriend moved in with his sister a year passed and a lot of moving later from his sister to a hotel to his aunt then mom then his sister to the outside to a crack house we moved in with his co worker that did not work out so we moved in with another person and that was worse by this time my ex has cheated on me on multiple occasions I ended up living in my car with him in one of the girls parking lot insulted on a daily fast forward to being broken up with and abused now I'm pregnant again and I'm high risk I'm behind on rent so far idk what to do I have black mold I have no running water everywhere is hiring but not hiring idk what to do if anyone can spare anything that can help me move away from my ex id be forever grateful my cash app is $vennasauaseges

It's okay to record, post and monetize (as long as you don't put it behind a paywall), just credit me.
Feel free to tweak it, change the roles and pronouns, correct my orthography, just don't change it too much.
Feedback is appreciated.
“hehehe, today is the day”
[pause]
“Finally, after months of frustration and failed attempts”
[pause]
“Today is the day I'll scare him!!!”
[pause]
“I'm sure he is going to say, “oh no a scary ghost, I have to leave this haunted place immediately”, and he will leave my house”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“He... is... late today...”
[pause]
“He is never this late”
[pause]
“Could it be that something has happened to him?”
[pause]
“What if he died?”
[pause]
“He better not have died before I had a chance to scare him”
[pause]
(SFX: keys on the door)
“Oh, there he is”
[pause]
“Okay, put you bag down, just like that and now...”
(SFX: door slams)
“ohohoho, I bet that scared him a lot!!!!”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“He isn’t even startled...”
[pause]
“Fine, time to get serious”
[pause]
“I’ll turn off the lights as soon as he walks into the kitchen”
[pause]
“One...”
[pause]
“Two...”
[pause]
“Three...”
[pause]
“That should do it”
[pause]
“What?”
[pause]
“No!!!!”
[pause]
“It isn’t your lightbulb, when has it been your lightbulb in the past six weeks?”
[pause]
“it’s me, it’s always been me”
[pause]
“See me!!! Fear me!!!”
[pause]
“What do I have to do, push you down the stairs?”
[pause]
“Actually, scratch that, last time you almost died”
[pause]
“Oh, he is about to sit, maybe I could...”
[pause]
(SFX: chair moves)
[pause]
“The chair moved on its own, surely you at least found that weird, right?”
[pause]
“No!! No!! No!! No!!”
[pause]
“don’t just sit on the chair...”
[pause]
“This wasn’t this difficult in the 80’s”
[pause]
“What is he doing now?”
[pause]
“Instant ramen again?”
[pause]
“He really should stop eating that”
[pause]
“It can’t be good for him”
[pause]
“I wonder what they taste like thought”
[pause]
“Idea, I'll turn on the stove and overboil his noodles”
[pause]
“As soon as he looks away...”
[pause]
“now”
[pause]
“What do you think about that mister I fear nothing”
[pause]
“What is he doing?”
[pause]
“You are just going to leave with the stove turned up like that?”
[pause]
“Well, I'm not turning it down...”
[pause]
“it’s starting to boil...”
[pause]
“And now is boiling...”
[pause]
“And now is spilling!!”
[pause]
“Hey!!! Can't you hear it?”
[pause]
“don’t you care about your soup? your pot? the kitchen? Your safety?”
[pause]
“fine”
[pause]
“I'll turn it off gee”
[pause]
“There you are, the kitchen could have burn you know?”
[pause]
“And you are just going to serve the noodles and move on, because of course you are”
[pause]
“What do I have to do?”
[pause]
“I have tried all the tricks, moving objects, making things disappear, weird noises, turning the lights on and off”
[pause]
“I would appear outside your bedroom wearing a bedsheet at this point”
[pause]
“I would lose my pride as a ghost if I did that”
[pause]
(sight)
“What to do? What to do?”
[pause]
“Hey where did you go?”
[pause]
(SFX: tv turning on)
“Oh, it is that time of the day”
[pause]
“Hey, what are we watching?”
[pause]
“Is it cartoons?”
[pause]
“Ugh, I can’t stand this campy 80’s horror movies, I didn’t like them when they were new, and I don’t like them now”
[pause]
“If you don’t change the channel I will”
[pause]
“Excuse me, did you just flinch?”
[pause]
“Oh no, you are not getting scared watching this garbage?”
[pause]
“You really just screamed?”
[pause]
“Okay, that is it”
[pause]
“What was that trick jerry the poltergeist taught me back in 09?”
[pause]
“haven’t had to do this in a while”
[pause]
(SFX: static noises)
“Hey...”
[pause]
“Hey...”
[pause]
“HEY!!!!!”
[pause]
“Yes, I’m talking to you”
[pause]
“No, this is not part of your movie, your terrible, terrible, stupid movie, I really am talking to you”
[pause]
“what’s the big idea dude?”
[pause]
“For weeks I have been moving chairs and slamming doors, without even getting a single reaction out of you”
[pause]
“Just to see you get scared and literally scream watching a boring 80’s horror movie, that aged like milk”
[pause]
“Point is, not cool”
[pause]
“of course, is only now that you realize I’m here, well about time!!!”
[pause]
“I’m a ghost, I haunt this house”
[pause]
“I'm talking through the tv, it’s a trick I learn from a poltergeist that lived in a radio once”
[pause]
“Yeah, yeah nice to meet you too, whatever moving on”
[pause]
“How can you not notice the house is haunted? Even I literally pushed you down the stairs that one time”
[pause]
“Yeah, sorry, that was me”
[pause]
“I wasn’t trying to kill you or anything, I was just trying to scare you and make you live my house”
[pause]
“Yes, this is my house, I was born here, grew up here and I died here, it’s mine”
[pause]
“I am not sharing it with anyone, I have scared off anyone who has moved here”
[pause]
“First it was the Jeffers in 82, they were a family of five, they were only here for 2 months before they packed up and left”
[pause]
“I took it slow, saw what they were like before starting doing things”
[pause]
“They were nice enough; the kids were a little annoying”
[pause]
“Then in 94, a woman and her daughter, the girl was into spooky stuff, her mom hoped it was just a phase”
[pause]
“After two weeks of things happening, she took a Ouija board and convinced the mom to have a seance, it only took shaking up the table a little and saying get out, for them to pack and leave the next day”
[pause]
“Then 2001, a painter, or was it a writer? Doesn’t matter... he thought he was crazy, and that I was a product of his mind”
[pause]
“Well, he was crazy, but the house was also haunted”
[pause]
“He didn’t run away though, he was hospitalized... it was better for him...”
[pause]
“After that it was a couple of newlyweds, a week of moving objects and they set a bunch cameras allover”
[pause]
“I decided to give them a show, there were out in a week”
[pause]
“What year it was?”
[pause]
“2007, why?”
[pause]
“Anyway, then it was 2012, let’s just say a sorority had to look for a new house, in only three days... that was my proudest moment...”
[pause]
“Which brings us to you”
[pause]
“Six weeks and you didn’t even notice there’s something going on”
[pause]
“Are you that dense?”
[pause]
“What do you mean you knew?”
[pause]
“Well yeah, I don’t want to hurt you, but still, I think you would at least get scared, you live in a seclude house, alone, in the woods”
[pause]
“Why would you willingly live somewhere like this?”
[pause]
“The rent is what?”
[pause]
“That is... so little...”
[pause]
“How dare they rent my house for just that?
[pause]
“My father spent a fortune building it!!!”
[pause]
“It pisses me off”
[pause]
“What valid reasons?”
[pause]
“Yes, I guess the garden could use some work”
[pause]
“And the roof is a little moldy”
[pause]
“Come on, is not as if anyone knows for sure that is haunted”
[pause]
“It was in the contract?”
[pause]
“And you still moved here?”
[pause]
“you’ll really settle for anything, huh?”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“Say...”
[pause]
“If I, hypothetically, agreed to share the house”
[pause]
“Under the condition on not putting anymore stupid horror movies”
[pause]
“And let me watch at least an hour of cartoons”
[pause]
“And constantly speaking to me even if you can’t hear me when I'm not in the tv”
[pause]
“Yes, I could move to any other screen”
[pause]
“What? No, I’m not moving to the screen of your phone, i have seen the stuff you look in it”
[pause]
“Your laptop isn’t as bad, but you still haven’t answer me”
[pause]
“Would you do all that?”
[pause]
“Yes?”
[pause]
“Then, will agree to share the place with you”
[pause]
“Because this is the first conversation I had in like a century”
[pause]
“Is rude to ask the age of a lady”
[pause]
“Hmm... what year is this?
[pause]
“a little less than a hundred then”
[pause]
“I don’t speak like an old lady because, I try to keep up with the lingo, why not, I mean, YOLO, you know?”
“Why are you looking at me like that? What did I say?”
[end]

It's okay to record, post and monetize (as long as you don't put it behind a paywall), just credit me.
Feel free to tweak it, change the roles and pronouns, correct my orthography, just don't change it too much.
Feedback is appreciated.
“hehehe, today is the day”
[pause]
“Finally, after months of frustration and failed attempts”
[pause]
“Today is the day I'll scare him!!!”
[pause]
“I'm sure he is going to say, “oh no a scary ghost, I have to leave this haunted place immediately”, and he will leave my house”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“He... is... late today...”
[pause]
“He is never this late”
[pause]
“Could it be that something has happened to him?”
[pause]
“What if he died?”
[pause]
“He better not have died before I had a chance to scare him”
[pause]
(SFX: keys on the door)
“Oh, there he is”
[pause]
“Okay, put you bag down, just like that and now...”
(SFX: door slams)
“ohohoho, I bet that scared him a lot!!!!”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“He isn’t even startled...”
[pause]
“Fine, time to get serious”
[pause]
“I’ll turn off the lights as soon as he walks into the kitchen”
[pause]
“One...”
[pause]
“Two...”
[pause]
“Three...”
[pause]
“That should do it”
[pause]
“What?”
[pause]
“No!!!!”
[pause]
“It isn’t your lightbulb, when has it been your lightbulb in the past six weeks?”
[pause]
“it’s me, it’s always been me”
[pause]
“See me!!! Fear me!!!”
[pause]
“What do I have to do, push you down the stairs?”
[pause]
“Actually, scratch that, last time you almost died”
[pause]
“Oh, he is about to sit, maybe I could...”
[pause]
(SFX: chair moves)
[pause]
“The chair moved on its own, surely you at least found that weird, right?”
[pause]
“No!! No!! No!! No!!”
[pause]
“don’t just sit on the chair...”
[pause]
“This wasn’t this difficult in the 80’s”
[pause]
“What is he doing now?”
[pause]
“Instant ramen again?”
[pause]
“He really should stop eating that”
[pause]
“It can’t be good for him”
[pause]
“I wonder what they taste like thought”
[pause]
“Idea, I'll turn on the stove and overboil his noodles”
[pause]
“As soon as he looks away...”
[pause]
“now”
[pause]
“What do you think about that mister I fear nothing”
[pause]
“What is he doing?”
[pause]
“You are just going to leave with the stove turned up like that?”
[pause]
“Well, I'm not turning it down...”
[pause]
“it’s starting to boil...”
[pause]
“And now is boiling...”
[pause]
“And now is spilling!!”
[pause]
“Hey!!! Can't you hear it?”
[pause]
“don’t you care about your soup? your pot? the kitchen? Your safety?”
[pause]
“fine”
[pause]
“I'll turn it off gee”
[pause]
“There you are, the kitchen could have burn you know?”
[pause]
“And you are just going to serve the noodles and move on, because of course you are”
[pause]
“What do I have to do?”
[pause]
“I have tried all the tricks, moving objects, making things disappear, weird noises, turning the lights on and off”
[pause]
“I would appear outside your bedroom wearing a bedsheet at this point”
[pause]
“I would lose my pride as a ghost if I did that”
[pause]
(sight)
“What to do? What to do?”
[pause]
“Hey where did you go?”
[pause]
(SFX: tv turning on)
“Oh, it is that time of the day”
[pause]
“Hey, what are we watching?”
[pause]
“Is it cartoons?”
[pause]
“Ugh, I can’t stand this campy 80’s horror movies, I didn’t like them when they were new, and I don’t like them now”
[pause]
“If you don’t change the channel I will”
[pause]
“Excuse me, did you just flinch?”
[pause]
“Oh no, you are not getting scared watching this garbage?”
[pause]
“You really just screamed?”
[pause]
“Okay, that is it”
[pause]
“What was that trick jerry the poltergeist taught me back in 09?”
[pause]
“haven’t had to do this in a while”
[pause]
(SFX: static noises)
“Hey...”
[pause]
“Hey...”
[pause]
“HEY!!!!!”
[pause]
“Yes, I’m talking to you”
[pause]
“No, this is not part of your movie, your terrible, terrible, stupid movie, I really am talking to you”
[pause]
“what’s the big idea dude?”
[pause]
“For weeks I have been moving chairs and slamming doors, without even getting a single reaction out of you”
[pause]
“Just to see you get scared and literally scream watching a boring 80’s horror movie, that aged like milk”
[pause]
“Point is, not cool”
[pause]
“of course, is only now that you realize I’m here, well about time!!!”
[pause]
“I’m a ghost, I haunt this house”
[pause]
“I'm talking through the tv, it’s a trick I learn from a poltergeist that lived in a radio once”
[pause]
“Yeah, yeah nice to meet you too, whatever moving on”
[pause]
“How can you not notice the house is haunted? Even I literally pushed you down the stairs that one time”
[pause]
“Yeah, sorry, that was me”
[pause]
“I wasn’t trying to kill you or anything, I was just trying to scare you and make you live my house”
[pause]
“Yes, this is my house, I was born here, grew up here and I died here, it’s mine”
[pause]
“I am not sharing it with anyone, I have scared off anyone who has moved here”
[pause]
“First it was the Jeffers in 82, they were a family of five, they were only here for 2 months before they packed up and left”
[pause]
“I took it slow, saw what they were like before starting doing things”
[pause]
“They were nice enough; the kids were a little annoying”
[pause]
“Then in 94, a woman and her daughter, the girl was into spooky stuff, her mom hoped it was just a phase”
[pause]
“After two weeks of things happening, she took a Ouija board and convinced the mom to have a seance, it only took shaking up the table a little and saying get out, for them to pack and leave the next day”
[pause]
“Then 2001, a painter, or was it a writer? Doesn’t matter... he thought he was crazy, and that I was a product of his mind”
[pause]
“Well, he was crazy, but the house was also haunted”
[pause]
“He didn’t run away though, he was hospitalized... it was better for him...”
[pause]
“After that it was a couple of newlyweds, a week of moving objects and they set a bunch cameras allover”
[pause]
“I decided to give them a show, there were out in a week”
[pause]
“What year it was?”
[pause]
“2007, why?”
[pause]
“Anyway, then it was 2012, let’s just say a sorority had to look for a new house, in only three days... that was my proudest moment...”
[pause]
“Which brings us to you”
[pause]
“Six weeks and you didn’t even notice there’s something going on”
[pause]
“Are you that dense?”
[pause]
“What do you mean you knew?”
[pause]
“Well yeah, I don’t want to hurt you, but still, I think you would at least get scared, you live in a seclude house, alone, in the woods”
[pause]
“Why would you willingly live somewhere like this?”
[pause]
“The rent is what?”
[pause]
“That is... so little...”
[pause]
“How dare they rent my house for just that?
[pause]
“My father spent a fortune building it!!!”
[pause]
“It pisses me off”
[pause]
“What valid reasons?”
[pause]
“Yes, I guess the garden could use some work”
[pause]
“And the roof is a little moldy”
[pause]
“Come on, is not as if anyone knows for sure that is haunted”
[pause]
“It was in the contract?”
[pause]
“And you still moved here?”
[pause]
“you’ll really settle for anything, huh?”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“Say...”
[pause]
“If I, hypothetically, agreed to share the house”
[pause]
“Under the condition on not putting anymore stupid horror movies”
[pause]
“And let me watch at least an hour of cartoons”
[pause]
“And constantly speaking to me even if you can’t hear me when I'm not in the tv”
[pause]
“Yes, I could move to any other screen”
[pause]
“What? No, I’m not moving to the screen of your phone, i have seen the stuff you look in it”
[pause]
“Your laptop isn’t as bad, but you still haven’t answer me”
[pause]
“Would you do all that?”
[pause]
“Yes?”
[pause]
“Then, will agree to share the place with you”
[pause]
“Because this is the first conversation I had in like a century”
[pause]
“Is rude to ask the age of a lady”
[pause]
“Hmm... what year is this?
[pause]
“a little less than a hundred then”
[pause]
“I don’t speak like an old lady because, I try to keep up with the lingo, why not, I mean, YOLO, you know?”
“Why are you looking at me like that? What did I say?”
[end]

I've seen many other things with the same message but this is the first time I understood the concept, I hope others can too. Based on a real conversation I had with myself.

Heart to Heart

After another sleepless night, I was watching the sun come up through the window. His gaze caught mine once again, our eyes locked, and for a moment I forgot who he was. I looked into his eyes for a while and I found myself wondering what he was thinking about as if I didn’t know, but at that moment, I didn’t know. As his gaze followed mine, I about forgot the mirror that separated us, and for the first time, I saw him through different eyes. He was so lost, this man I’ve known all my life yet I have no idea who he is, but I’ve always had the feeling that he wasn’t quite right. I stepped into the balcony with him and sat beside him, to talk to him. He looked into my eyes with such emotion and I felt that he was searching for the right words to say.
“You don’t have to do that”
I didn’t have to, I’ve gotten so used to trying to explain myself to everyone I forgot that he didn’t need the context, he was there to witness my whole life with his own eyes, and for the first time, I realized that I was talking to someone who actually gets it. It was surreal, It was a truly freeing moment.
“Why do you keep doing this?”
“Do you have any idea how awful it makes me feel that you keep searching for someone else when I’m right here?”
My eyes were going back and forth between the reflecting window and the floor.
“I’m here, every fucking day I’m here and you try your hardest to act like you are alone.”
“Do you ever think about how I feel? To have the only person that I trust, try to find my replacement every day?”
“Because you KNOW that I’ll forgive you for it. You KNOW that I’m not fucking going anywhere.”
“I trust in you every day, and every day you avoid me. When were you going to talk to me? In your deathbed?”
“But, I’ll be there too.”
A single tear started running down his tired face.
“Can’t you see that I’m the one you’re yearning for? I listen to your bullshit every day and every day I still give you the best answers I can. I follow your dreams with you. I wait patiently as you go on with your life, never letting you miss a beat, never asking why you were away so long. I do everything for you and I give you my all, what else can I give you besides that? I do every single thing you ask me to do and every single time my work goes thankless. Do you think anyone else will go to those lengths for you? Not even a slave could do that. I’m here every day and you act like I don’t exist ”
“I live in the shadow of some unfound, unknown, unreachable love and I am SICK of waiting for you to see me.”
“That explains a lot actually, now that I think about it.”
“The love that you are so desperate to find, the one that you wait for, ever so patiently, the love that you just won’t give up on? That’s how I feel about you. And it breaks me.”
“But I understand you, I always do, and I will keep waiting as long as you do.”
“But I am sick of you getting into your bed every night, realizing you are alone with me once again, wishing you were alone with somebody else, someone you can trust with your life and most sacred thoughts.”
“I need you to start seeing me as who I am. See me like you want other people to see you.”
“Maybe I’d stop feeling this way if you did. Can’t you just try doing this one thing for me? Just this once? That’s all I ask in return.”
He turned his gaze away from me, and I disappeared once again. I’ll see him again soon though. I just hope he understood it this time, but I’m still not going anywhere if he didn’t.

My fiancé and I have been together for several years, and engaged for a few months. We went through a rough patch a few years ago due to his then excessive drinking.
My fiancé, who never drank in college, suddenly moved to a city and entered into a profession where drinking is the norm. Alcoholism runs in his family, and it’s why he avoided alcohol all through college. I was busy with law school in a state nearby, but we weren’t living together at this time. I didn’t realized how bad things were getting. He began going out with friends every weekend and had blacked out several times.
I joined him in the city for a summer, and things got better. But when I left back to school, my fiancé went out with some new friends from work and again blacked out.
He woke up at his friends’ apartment covered in vomit. One of the guys he was with told my fiancé that he had nearly gone home with a girl and that he was lucky the guy had been there to stop him.
My fiancé has never done anything like this, even when drunk, and he was stunned to hear about himself flirting and nearly going home with another woman. He told me, and I nearly broke it off with him. I spent a full day crying.
A day later, my fiancé talked to his close friend who was also with him that night and more sober. He said that the other guy had lied and my fiancé had never almost gone home or flirted with a girl. When my fiancé confronted the other guy, he claimed that he had just been joking.
I trust my fiancé’s close friend that nothing happened, as the other guy is a jerk and a sleaze. They no longer talk to him. But I was still furious, because my fiancé’s drinking was out of control and he couldn’t remember himself what actually happened that day.
He’s gotten much better since then, and doesn’t drink often or even close to that amount anymore. He admitted he had a problem, and we’ve worked hard on rebuilding our relationship.
The problem now is my anxiety every time he goes out with a specific set of friends. A few of these friends are those he hung out with previously (excluding the guy who lied). His friends drink constantly (several times per week, even on workdays), and though my fiancé doesn’t usually partake and only goes out with them once every month or two months, I can’t help but feel scared/spiral when he does hang out with them.
He hasn’t blacked out since that last time, and he keeps me updated on where he’s going and when he gets home. I just finished law school, and we’ll be moving to a new state/city together in a few months.
These friends have proposed going on a guys’ weekend trip, and I want to trust my fiancé, but I hate that it would be with this set of friends who maintain terrible drinking/lifestyle habits. Any advice on how to approach this situation?

There’s no need for me to be at his house. It’s complicated but there’s no custody agreement between my parents. None of my siblings have to stay at my dad’s house. I just go to get away from my abusive mother.
I found out abt my dad’s wife when i was 11 but he never confessed until i was 16 and weeks before his wife would give birth. So after she can birth, i started coming over to see her, slept over occasionally. I am 18 now but i’ve only slept over a handful of times.
I could never stop feeling like i was intruding though. I never felt like i belonged. They live very different lives compared to mine. His wife is white and my father and I am arab. I lived surrounded by abuse, neglect, anger and noise. Her house is strange. It’s quiet, she always has food in her cupboards. She is quite kind and patient too.
Today she now has two kids. Two daughters under the ages of 3. I don’t know how to deal with them other than playing. Ive seen her struggle with them and i try to help but i don’t know what im doing so instead i clean her home to make up for it. I’m quiet too. I stay out of their view, i wear my headphones, i keep tidy but the guest room i stay in gets dirty with my clothes yet i keep the door closed.
It feels like im bothering her just by being here. Intruding on their family. I’m so different to them. I have a lot problems in my head that probably weirds them out. I slept weekend today but they seemed very urgent to have me leave sunday afternoon. I hate that they don’t tell me if i’ve done something wrong maybe to upset them or their children. They just keep being kind but i notice.
sorry for rambling. has anyone felt like this before? am i doing something wrong? how can i make myself more bearable to be around. my mother doesn’t want me and neither does my father. i don’t belong anywhere.

As the morning sun finally breaks through the night I am already getting dressed for my first day of second grade. As I’m struggling to button up my white collar shirt my dad walks into the room.
“You getting ready for school champ?” He asks me, clearly proud of how grown I looked.
“You betcha Dad!” I exclaimed as a wide smile beamed across my face,
Dad bent down and helped me finish buttoning my shirt.
“So…” he started asking, “what’s the plan for today? You know,” he paused trying to find the right words, “so you don’t have another one of those outbursts?”
These “outbursts” as Dad called them weren’t really outbursts. I’d had outbursts before but these were different. I’ve only had a handful of these breakdowns but they were the worst thing I’d ever experienced. It felt almost like someone was clawing into my skull. The pain was almost unbearable. Then there were the voices… ugh, I shuddered thinking about the voices.
It was because of these outbursts that we had to move cities. They were so bad I was kicked out of every school in Saint Louis.
Now that we moved to my crazy old grandmother’s house in Maryland, my parents were hoping I’d grow out of the breakdowns. They had tried everything they could to “fix” me but to no prevail. No matter how many doctors or therapists I went to none of them could ever find out what was wrong with me. It made me feel hopeless like I was doomed to be the weird kid for the rest of my life.
I still remember my 6th birthday all too well. I had invited every kid in my class to my party and was so excited to have people over.
You see, I had never had a real friend before and I was hoping by having people over at my house I could finally make one. That’s how dumb of a thought process I had in kindergarten. Now that I was in second grade I realized that wasn’t how the world worked. When it came time to have my party no one except my older brother Nathan and my older sister Jess showed up.
“I’m sorry Weston.” I remember Nathan saying, “Maybe next year you’ll have friends.”
Nathan didn’t mean that in a mean way but it sure felt like that. That year when I blew out my candles all I wished for was a single friend, a friend whom I could talk to, a friend whom I could play with and laugh with, a friend who cared about me.
But like most wishes, it never came true. And now here I am ready to reinvent myself and ready to try again. Hopefully, things were different in Baltimore, hopefully the kids were nicer.
“I’ll try not to freak out again Dad.” I finally replied to him as he finished tying my navy blue tie around my neck. “I promise.”
“I know you will Westy. I know. Just please try to take deep breaths like the kind therapist told you to.”
“Dad,” I said longingly, “I told you those silly techniques don’t work.”
“They worked for me.” My older sister Jess said as she walked into the room and sat on my bed, “I used to have the same outbursts happen to me.” She paused, “Matter of fact, the feelings never go away, you just learn to mask them.” She looked at Dad, “That’s just what the Man does to you.
“Jessica!” My dad scolded, “Stop scaring your brother. It’s his first day after all.”
“Weston.” He said turning to me, “Don’t listen to her. Do you understand me?”
I nodded submissively,
Dad turned and walked out of the room leaving me and Jess to finish getting ready.
“He doesn’t get it Westy.” She said to me once she knew he was out of earshot, “But just so you know it gets worse when he visits you again.”
“Again?” I replied in horror, “Jess you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not I swear Weston. Now normally I wouldn’t be telling you this at your age but you seem pretty mature so I think you can handle it.”
She was wrong, I couldn’t handle it.
"Weston, Jess!” My dad yelled from the kitchen, “Time for school!”
I arrived at school in my dad’s big, grey, Chevy Silverado and hopped down on the curb. I waved goodbye to my dad while Jess grabbed my hand and walked me to my classroom.
Ever since mom died, Jess has stepped up to be the motherly figure in my life though never fully replacing my mom. My mom was a beautiful woman with brown chestnut-colored locks of curly hair and beautiful blue eyes as pale but vibrant as the ocean on a cloudy day. I loved my mom but ever since the Man first showed up at our doorstep she was never quite the same. After the incident with the Man, she turned into a hollow shell of a person. Until, until she’d had enough.
It was right after my 6th birthday when the Man came. Maybe he was the answer to my birthday wish. In some ways, I guess he was. It was raining that day. I can still hear the pitter patter of the raindrops hitting the pavement outside my house when all of a sudden there was a knock on my door. I ran to open it, having not been able to sense danger at such a naive age, and was surprised when a tall man wearing an all-black attire stood there staring at me. When my mom saw who it was from the kitchen she immediately dropped the knife in her hand and started running toward me but not before the Man grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me out the door. I remember being frozen in fear, not sure whether to cry or scream. I ended up doing nothing. The man shoved me into the back seat of his car and drove off as my mom came running down the driveway. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain rolling down her face but I remember wondering whether or not I’d ever see her again.
I think about this now as I walked up the steps into the elementary school with my sister’s hand in mine. Once we reach the outside of my classroom, I turn and stare at my sister.
“I don’t wanna go in there,” I said, my anxiety acting up again,
“Come on Weston,” She replied, “I’m sure it will be fine.”
I usually trusted my sister when it came to stuff like this but this time it felt different, something felt wrong. Either way, I decided to suppress my fear and turn to the classroom door. Too short to look into the window of the door, I reach up and turn the handle instead, without looking inside to evaluate the classroom. I crack open the door and peer inside, what I see when I open the door makes me scream at the top of my lungs with fear. I’m struck with fear and can feel the voices coming back.
The Man was sitting at the teacher’s desk, coffee in hand, feet resting on the desk itself.
“It’s nice to see you again William.” He said as a maniacal grin crossed his face,
“Remember me?”

My ex and I have been living together and dating for roughly 5 years of time. We met at a university we both attended where we were getting the same degree, and I thought we were deeply in love. We never argued, had the same views and goals for the future, and the 2-3 problems we did develop were communicated and improved in healthy ways. It was a loving relationship that our friends could only hope to have. He had even custom made me a promise ring that I wore every day and never took off. I was a part of his family gatherings in Maine (where he was from), and he was involved with my family back in Michigan as well. We lived together for years, and I had hoped that we would get married after we graduated, like we had talked about. We were living like we were, anyway, so I was under the impression it would be a welcome next step.
A year after we both graduated, he ended up getting a job across the country (Michigan New Mexico). He would have a pretty large salary increase, would be doing things he enjoyed in the workplace, and be closer to his hobbies and a few friends that he had at our university that were older. I would have to move to a state I've never been, away from all of my friends and family, with no personal plan in place (I did not have a job lined up there like he did). However, he told me I could focus on healing from past trauma I couldn't process while I was focused on school, and work on getting my streaming and music career off of the ground, which is something I would've rather done with my life. I had plenty of contacts to realistically attempt something like that. And if it wasn't working, I could always try to get a job where he did. He would cover the rent of the condo we lived at, but I'd still pay all of my own personal bills (food, insurance, phone, etc.). Weighing the pros and cons, and how I believed our relationship to be/where it was headed, I agreed. We went 50/50 on furniture we would need while we were still in Michigan, because the company paid to move our stuff. The moving company damaged some things of mine that were irreplaceable, and I wanted him to deal with the moving company about it, but he never did. When we got there, I unpacked pretty much everything that was moved for the both of us, set up and organized the house, and did all of the cooking, paperwork, and chores I could so my ex could focus on getting settled in his new job. I put together lists of what we still needed, and continued to buy things for the condo 50/50, even when I was running off of low hustle income and savings. I even sold things that meant a lot to me so I'd be able to deal with all of the moving logistics and support myself when my work was "unpacking and settling".
Right before I finished my stream setup, and I was ready to start grinding on my own career, I had stumbled upon evidence of him cheating when I needed to use his computer. I have documented evidence that he has been paying sex workers for various things for the past 2 years, well before this job and move was in the picture. I didn't have access to his socials or accounts to know the full extent of what he had done, but what I had found was more than enough. When I confronted him, he didn't deny it either. I was distraught and depressed. I cut again for the first time in years. I felt lied to, betrayed, suicidal, and alone. I felt unsafe being alone in the condo, so I went to his friend's house after finding out. I told them what was wrong and they were in total disbelief until I showed them the evidence, it was extremely out of character for him. I lost 10 pounds in 2 days. The day of finding out what he did, I had already bought plane tickets back to Michigan for studio work, and couldn't change it. We agreed to take some space to figure out next steps, so I took that flight back to Michigan with two suitcases of my things, not knowing what was happening. I spent another few months unable to work, because my mental state was horrendous, and I didn't want to cash in any favors to get an engineering position when I didn't know where I was even going to be in a month's time. It seemed like we were going to try couple's therapy, because I really wanted to understand why he needed the external validation. I wanted to help him and figure out exactly what went wrong, because I didn't see any signs of this behavior. But we cut it off for good in December, when he had told me he's been seeing his ex. The breakup was slow and painful, and I was constantly living in a state of not knowing what was going on, and suffering mentally and financially for it. All of my plants that were there are now dead because he couldn't care for them, he still has my two cats, and I may have to sell my dream car in order to really afford starting over again. I can't even sell it as is since he didn't turn it on the entire time, so the battery and alternator are now dead too. It feels like my life was ripped out from under me in a blink of an eye, and I was the one being punished for it when I was the one who didn't do anything wrong.
My mom flew me out to Guam in December, knowing how much I was hurting and she wanted to get me away from it all. I was supposed to leave 2 months later in February, but here I am, still here 5 months later. Still essentially living off of two suitcases of my belongings. I am ready to move on with my life. I want my cats and my things back, and I want a fresh start. I have a few jobs lined up for me here to get back on my feet. I had to purchase a new wardrobe for the office, and a new car to get around.
All I asked for him to do was send my stuff back to Michigan, where it came from, so it could be stored at my dad's house until I could get it moved here to Guam. I felt like it was fair to ask, considering he lied to me and cheated on me for two years, when he easily could've just broken up with me before moving for his job. He made the conscious decision to drag me along and shift my whole life for him, when he had no plans to actually be with me. He bragged about the salary increase and I know what it is, I know he can afford to pay for my stuff to be moved out. I have been asking for updates constantly over the past few months, and he gives me spaced and vague answers. He is now saying he wants me to pay for half of it to be moved, which I think is unfair. This situation is entirely his fault, I'm already spending a lot of money starting my life over, and I was the only one unpacking things when we got there. He can pack up my things, and send it back to where it came from. He's also keeping everything we went 50/50 on as well, so I'm still losing even when he pays for the move. Our friends are on my side here, but he isn't cooperating or budging. I wanted to be civil, but he's being difficult to communicate with, and I am on the other side of the world now. Can I/Should I take him to court to pay for my move? Can I/Should I pursue suing him for the other aspects now that he is no longer being civil about this? Will being on Guam while he is in New Mexico complicate a lawsuit? I'm losing my mind at how I have had everything to lose, and he still doesn't have the decency to do what people around me seem to think is the right thing to do. Any advice and further questions to clarify the situation is appreciated.

Today my mom just called me today to ask me to tell my dad to buy makeup remover water and cotton pads for myself. This alone would be fine but the one’s she linked for me to buy would be over $40 and I just don’t think they’re worth it.
She does this a lot, asking me to ask my dad to buy everything and we’ve already had many disagreements over it with me just caving in every time. I just hate having to make my dad buy me things because my biggest fear is that he’s going to leave me because I cost him too much money. I know it isn’t her fault that she doesn’t know this because I don’t feel comfortable with telling her that and I feel that it would only cause her to get mad at him even though it’s not his fault.
Because I didn’t want to ask my dad to buy me it I just kind of sat on call about to cry while my mom kept asking me if I had asked him to buy it yet. I started crying and said no which caused my mom to get really mad at me. She started reiterating points we’ve already gone over in the past, that it’s not that she won’t buy it for me but it’s that my dad should be providing for me (which he does) and she’s already spending so much money to bring me to Japan and Taiwan for my graduation trip and I’m being ungrateful.
To be clear I don’t think I am being ungrateful, I fully understand how much money she is spending on me to bring me there and I am so thankful for it. However I’ve never liked traveling, which my mom has known since I was young, and I only feel more pressure to enjoy it because of how much money she’s spent on it. I feel like I’ve never asked to go anywhere, never asked her to spend this kind of money on me, and that it’s unfair for her to use this against me. I’ve always tried to never cause her trouble since I started understanding the concept of money, I always try to never ask for anything myself, only presents for my friends or school supplies. Whenever we go out I always ask for the least expensive meal and I never ask to buy anything. Whenever I go out with friends as well I never buy anything and I never eat anything to not spend money. I know my mom spends money and gives me money to spend because she loves me and I know that but I can’t help but think it’s unfair that she still holds money against me when I’ve held back my whole life and I never buy anything for myself ever.
Going back to the main point my mom just said that if I won’t ask my dad myself she’ll just ask for me and it’ll be my fault when they start arguing again and the peace they’ve built up falls apart. I just cried more at that but I still couldn’t bring myself to ask my dad to buy me those things, AITA?
I honestly don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m overreacting and being such an asshole. Sorry if things don’t make sense

People that spread the internet without an official diagnosis or any prove of an mast cell involvement, antihistamines are used for multiple diseases. There have been people that think they have MCAS because Cromolyn helped their asthma, H1 medication helped their urticaria, or H2 helped their heartburn. These medications are all widely used and are rather "off label" used for MCAS. That is why all 3 criteria need to be present.
Websites present various doctors that claim to be "specialists" and who give out diagnoses to anyone based of unspecific symptoms, reportedly these do not even make tests at all. Or use unvalidated biomarkers or questionable diagnostic criteria. Cash is payed upfront.
People who actually have a serious and rare disease named MCAS, struggle to be taken seriously, because many doctors are fed up by the sheer amount of psychic conspicuous patients, who only want a proof for their google based self diagnoses. Often times there is no proof and these people make a burden for health care resources.
Mast cell medication is free and if you have no relief at all with antihistamines, MCAS is very unlikely. There is not much any further medication that someone would get, if not presented with serious reactions, most of the times anaphylaxis. Ketotifen and cromolyn are also mainly antihistamines, still many gaslight themselfs thinking that that is the medication they need.
Primary and secondary MCAS are easy to rule out, due to specific and severe symptoms and quite obvious underlying mechanism like an IgE dependant allergy or the genetic mutation. The diagnosis that is under question is the idiopathic MCAS, where the underlying mechanism is unknown, these people still need to fullfill the diagnostic markers, but in reality this happens only rarely.
Still many think they have a secondary MCAS, it is said by certain authors that a secondary MCAS would have a prevalance of 17-30 per cent. They say that long covid and/or T-Cells are the problem. That this would be quite easy to proof if it would be happening they do not care about. That this has already been evaluated they do not care about. The desperate patients are easy to convince it seems.
Some people even make claim their MCAS would be due to a root cause of "Sibo", "Leaky gut" or "microbiome disbalance", all which are unrelated to a MCAS and heavenly overdiagnosed or not even proven to excist, just like the whole hEDS and POTS misdiagnoses going on. Mast cells in the gut have been studied and people with IBS have had no success with mast cell treatment.
It is also a burden for patients, knowing that even some doctors do not stick to authentic measures and give out misinformation. Maybe because of a conflict of interest? Since most internet posts that come up include misinformation, it is hard for sufferers to find alike. MCAS communities are full of people who do not have MCAS. MCAS sufferers have no community right now.
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"My blood and 24hr urine collection testing came back normal. The allergist I saw also told me outright he doubted I had MCAS (a fad diagnosis along with EDS and POTS, as he said) but did end up suggesting I come back to get samples tested during an episode. I was so frustrated with the allergist that I’ve never gone through with that. Instead my amazing primary doctor decided to prescribe me montelukast and monitor my reaction to trialing antihistamines at home, and I had immediate positive response! We also first ruled out everything else he could think of and clearly test for; my main symptom is facial flushing so I had things like lupus and carcinoid syndrome ruled out.
Although we treat it as such, I don’t actually have an “official” MCAS diagnosis on my chart. IME the specialists who do inquire about all my meds or listen to my symptoms don’t seem to differentiate between MCAS and allergies/sensitivities anyway :/ but my case isn’t super severe and currently well-controlled so that works for me. Good luck to you - I hope you find proper care regardless of your test results!"
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"I have normal tryptase levels and definitely have MCAS. They diagnosed it after POTS, and it was mostly based on symptoms as well as the “scratch test”"
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"Spoke about it with my GP, she referred me to an internal medicine doc who specializes in MCAS. I told him my symptoms and he went “yep that sounds like MCAS” and proceeded to literally dump an armful of antihistamine samples into my lap and bounce off to his next appointment. I am definitely in the minority of people whose experience was that easy. It was so easy that I almost don’t believe him."
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"This is the same as my experience! Walked in, diagnosed by rheumatologist in 5 mins based off symptoms and loaded up with antihistamines as a starting point. No testing or anything."
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"went to my allergist and had the blood work panel done. nothing in it came back weird, but my allergist is treating me as if i have MCAS based on all my symptoms and pictures of flares."
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"Went in to get my pots diagnosis and the doctor was like “btw your blood tests show you have mast cell activation syndrome” and then gave me some medicine and did not elaborate further"
"As it turned out my diagnosis was literally not true. I don’t have MCAS (and even if i did what they gave me for it was beyond overkill) after talking to an actual allergist I believe that most likely I was given an extra diagnosis on extremely weak basis. Using something from what they saw in my blood so they could bill higher and prescribe more medicine to me. I no longer go to that practice and instead go to a different cardiologist and actively do not recommend going there. Unfortunately this stopped me for years from properly treating my pain as I was trying to treat it on the basis it was being caused by MCAS :/"
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"Mine was actually fairly easy when I finally figured out it was MCAS.
Got referred to immunology to rule out mastocytosis. Then my PCP at the time did a clinical diagnosis. She wasn’t risking putting me into anaphylaxis to maybe get a positive result on any of the mast cell mediator labs (this doctor was one who didn’t list a diagnosis unless she was confident it isn’t anything else and spent 8 years trying to get an answer).
My current doctors don’t question it because my symptoms at this point line up perfectly with MCAS."