Back story... My parents only dated a short time (like 3 months) when i was concieved back in the 70's. Growing up I was told I was my step dad's child until I was 11 years old when him and my mom divorced and was told that I couldn't live with my dad because I wasn't legally his child, which broke my heart. I love my dad (step dad) and always will, he treated me like his own from day one that he knew me and never let it slip I wasn't until my mom pressed the issue of me staying with her when they divorced.
I was finally told who my biological father really was and his mom actually worked with my mother. I got to know my grandparents and 1 aunt, but not my biological father because "he wasn't ready". My other aunt refused to believe I was his even though I look Damn near exactly like a clone of my grandmother (bio father and my aunts mother). Even to the point she ripped up my school picture she was given in front of me one time when i was 13. Well when I turned 17 dna paternity test was done and he (biological father) was 99.9998% my father! At this point I met him (because my grandpa basically made him because I was already grandpa favorite) and had gotten to know him somewhat but no other family members at all. A couple years later he told me to my face "I wish you were never born" and his mother (grandma) lost it on him. So I went NC for a few years until I found out that my grandfather whom adored me (biological fathers dad), got sick and I moved there to help my grandmother who I got really close with even though her son is a douche canoe in sneakers and a bad impersonation haircut short of a wannabe starsky from starsky and hutch. A couple months go by and my grandpa passed away. While at the funeral I went to sit with my family and someone that I had seen before (which I find out later was a cousin) comes up to me and says "you shouldn't be sitting up here, it's for family only, not hospice care nurses." And I told them "I'm "grandpa's" grandchild so I am family" to which the cousin says "I would know if you were my cousin since he only had 3 children and only 2 grandsons and i don't have a sister". I said that I was his uncle's child and he argued with me until my grandmother came to my defense telling my cousin that I was in fact his uncle's child. My cousin runs over to my biological sperm donor of a fucking legend and tells him what had happened in front of a hell of a lot more of the family extremely loudly and outs him about my existence to the whole universe. To which Sperm donor of a fucking legend comes over to me after the funeral and tells me that I just ruined his reputation and his father's funeral. I told him to pretend that I don't exist in his world and I'll do the same in reverse, I didn't ask to be born nor did I ask him to impregnate random women that he only knew briefly then keep the child a secret and make his own parents keep it a secret for 26 years! Am I the asshole?

Repost cause of the title.
So this issue happened yesterday afternoon. For context my dad was out on a business trip when he recieved a call from a guy posing to be "Bangalore police". It was a WhatsApp call with the dp as DGP Pratap Reddy. He apparently asked a few questions like "when was the last time you saw your son?" "when was the last time you spoke to him?" and then claimed that I was at the police station. He got my dad's name and my name right which caused my dad to be a little worried about the situation. My dad immediately called up to check on me and make sure everything was good. Now fortunately I was at home with my mom as I have my end sems going on and I have breaks between my paper. The scammer apparently called him repeatedly asking why my dad cut the call and it being very disrespectful and could have some serious consequences.
Now imagine if both my parents are at work and I am in college or in a situation where I'm unable to pick their call. Recieving a call like this could cause a lot of panic and it is natural to miss the tell tale signs of this being a scam when one is in such a state. So let this be a reminder to stay vigilant of such scams that seem to be running rampant now a days.

• The number did start with +92 which my dad didn't notice initially.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years now and we have two toddlers. We have a rocky past. He was very unfaithful in the beginning, he claims he never had sex with anyone else and I've never found evidence of that but he has been caught on a date with someone and texting many other women in the past. Sometimes explicitly. I forgave him and I was never unfaithful throughout our relationship though I have had many chances. I met him very young and things went fast because I got pregnant early. For the past 11 months or so, he hasn't done anything and has been a great partner for the most part. This past weekend my most recent ex (the guy I was with before my BF) was in town. He always ask to see me when he comes to town and I never reply. This time I replied but I said no. Back story about him: The only reason we broke up is because our colleges were far from each other and I couldn't do the LDR thing. It crushed us both but I honestly thought I was over him. A few months ago he confessed that he was in love with me still and that there was no other girl like me. I shut him down immediately and he said he understood but he still texted me this past Friday when he came to town. He said we could just grab food and catch up but I declined. My bf absolutely hates him so I didn't want the drama. I am graduating from college tomorrow as well. I went to a grad party and he was in the parking lot with a bunch of friends as I was leaving. I got into my car and he texted me asking could he come with me because he wasn't feeling the after party thing and he had rode with a friend. His friend's place was super close to mine where he left his car. I said yes and gave him a ride there. As soon as we parked he kissed me. It wasn't a small kiss and neither of us were drunk. I didn't stop him and things got pretty heated and we did some things but we didn't have sex. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend or if I even should. I feel terrible for doing it. I honestly think I never got over my ex just like he isn't over me but I have two sons with my boyfriend and he is showing he wants to become the man I wanted him to be from the beginning. Not to mention I don't know how I would handle life financially (we are a team) or being a single mom of two toddlers. What do I do?

Very long post so heres the tl; dr:
mother is a horrible person, extremely right wing and narcissistic, extremely controlling of me and I’m reaching my breaking point.
now the actual post:
Ok, this is kind of a vent post. It has more to do with narcissistic parenting than LGBT things, but it’s kind of related.
So my mom has always been a MAGA at heart. It was the way she was raised, in a small conservative town, where the church was where she made friends. Now this wasn’t really a direct issue for me until I realized I was queer, but beyond the MAGA ideology, she is an insane narcissist.
My grandma has agreed with me. She acts high and mighty, but as soon as you question her, she lets down her boiling rage unto you. Like, for example she has taken money for an award that I won, about $200, “for safekeeping” but when I asked about it a few weeks earlier we got into a screaming match about whether I even got money for it. When I showed her proof I did she grounded me and took away everything I owned.
Another time she wouldn’t let me drive 5 minutes to a track meet (I’m in track) as she was “worried I would crash” even though I’ve been driving for over a year. My father is no better. He allows for this to happen and when I question her, he says “just play the game”. As if to say that I must humor this horrible person who I’ve had the unwanted pleasure of living with.
However, this wretchedness of hers has recently ramped up because of the fascinating app named Facebook. What an amazing app, right? It turned a MAGA head into an even more right wing monstrosity. Now she’s an anti vaxxer, makes me plug my phone in outside my room in fear of the “5g”, won’t let me go into the sea in fear of “shallow-water sharks”, and won’t let me go thrifting (one of the few things that actually makes me happy) due to “them not washing the clothes” WHICH THEY DO!
I swear to god, she lives based on fear and then plays the victim card when you tire of her fucking bullshit. And then just recently she caught me wearing eyeliner and threw a hissy fit about how “no son of hers would be a fa*got”. I was able to convince her it was just one of my friends that put it on me.
This isn’t the first time she’s shamed me either, when I got caught SH’ing she screamed how “no son of hers would do something so horrible” and said that I was a “fucking idiot”. And then only after that did she try to comfort me asking what was wrong... She just fuels me with rage and then has the gall to come into my room and say some shit like “I feel like you don’t talk to me”. LIKE NO FUCKING SHIT I DON’T, YOU’RE THE REASON I WANT TO MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND CHANGE MY NAME. and not to mention im not exactly the most sociable person so I already have incredible mental health issues (hence the sh) but then she adds onto them by being a horrible person.
But then, after all this. she has the fucking nerve to come into my room and say she loves me? I’m pulling my goddamn hair out because of this hag and then she says she “loves me”. You don’t get to make me feel bad after ruining me like you did. Oh another thing, she is constantly invading my privacy, until recently shes had a parenting software on my phone (could look at my screen from her screen, block all apps, etc) and also has life360 to track me wherever I go. Like whenever i stopped by the dollar tree literally less than a minute away from my school and when I got home she screamed at me and took everything away from me, including my god damn door as if i have too much privacy.
I’m honestly reaching my breaking point and worried that I might do something i regret because oh my god i just can’t take any of her shit anymore.
anyone here relate 😘😘

Hi I need some feed back from the community.
I had a crush on girl back in H.S. 1992-1996 we have friends in common. She tried many times talking to me but I was shy to talk her because I really like her. We live in the same area and used to play handball with same people. She tried to say hi which I successfully did say hi sometimes. One time I was with my father a clothing store were she waiving at me but not until was told my father to say hi. I think she like me back then, but was shy to talk to her. She left with her family to Florida in 1995 but she came to NYC and used to see her sometimes she would smile but again I was timid. 1996 I heard she had become a mom. I was sad but I thought I had to move on. After I finish college in 2000 I joined the Navy in 2000-2004 during that time I became extrovert dated some girl, then I got married but lasted two years. I always thought about the crush I had in H.S. When through hardship and the only person that brought me comfort my crush. I then finish my time in the Navy in 2004 quickly join the Army in 2004-2008. I met second wife which at point she was pregnant with my son. At that time we were not married. Also, in the Army when through some hardship my only comfort was my crush and not my girlfriend (soon to become wife). I got out the Army in 2008. My wife at the time my girlfriend never understood that I need time to readjust we separate and the only person who help was my father. I got married in 2013 and got divorce two years ago. In 2008 I joined Facebook and found my crush tried to ad her a friend but I think at the time she was married she never answer. I did send to messages telling her how I felt and telling her that the hardship that I had in the Navy and Army, that I always tough of her and was the only tough that made happy. Second message told her about my feelings and never again message her and left alone. 2009 I started a import business and doing wholes of sock and phone accessories. While all this I finish my second bachelors in accounting 2011, then also when on finishing my Masters in Accounting and Finance and obtaining my CPA. 2013 my girlfriend got married and since we had our son wanted to give a shot to work thing out. I was able to buy a restaurant from a family member and then open another one in PA. I got divorce in 20022 we share responsibilities with my ex-wife for the restaurants that we owe . I always tough about my crush used to look her up from time to time nothing else. I started posting on my Facebook pics me how a look now and make a few real from H.S with my pictures and the 2 months ago I went on Facebook look my crush up and send her a friend request I tough we are 46 we are more mature she has not block or accept the friends request. I'm only following her the cancel request is grey out. Last week I build courage to like one of her posting. I know in her posting she mentioned not having a husband and having a small daughter. I tough there 2 options 1 she blocks or 2 she says notices me. A week later she takes her posting down and then a few days later she changes her profile picture. I was going to like her new picture, I guess she change her setting where only friends can like her new posting or pictures. So I muster the guts and send a message telling her that her hair and eyes look beautiful. I have a gut feeling that she read my message even though in my messenger still say sent. She hasn't block me or anything like that so I really don't know what to think. She still letting me follow her, but sometimes I wish she would block me so it would be easier for me to move on. I'm trying to make sense of this.
I'm just want people though since is hard for me to talk to someone. I tell myself let it go but have to give a shot. Maybe it work maybe not I just have to know. Thanks everyone for the feedback.

I'm looking for a series of 2D animated comedy shorts I used to watch on a German kids' TV channel back in the 2000s. I think the title was written in lowercase letters and sung out by a male VA in the very short intro sequence, but this could be a false memory. I don't know if it was a German show or just a dub. The main characters were two anthropomorphic bird parents and their bratty son who was still partially in his eggshell. I think they were light brown Dohdoh birds (I know the spelling is wrong, but Reddit won't let me post if I write it correctly). The animation looked a bit simplistic and stilted.
I only remember two skits. In the first, the boy and his Mom were at the doctors' office. The boy was supposed to get a shot, but repeatedly flinched away out of fear, which increasingly agitated the doc. After his Mom promised to get him ice cream if he was brave, the boy had the audacity to tell the doc to hurry up with the shot. It ended with the doc ramming the syringe in the eggshell (not graphic or scary, just comedic).
In the second skit, the Dad asked the boy to go to the store and buy some bottles of water. Since the boy didn't feel like doing it, he kept stalling with What-if scenarios and successfully manipulated his Dad into going to the store himself (I have the feeling it might have been a rip-off or parody of this Sesame Street skit).

I (23F) moved across country with my ex (25M) where we had rented a home together. Several months after the move, I found out he had been racking up credit cards with my name on them for gambling purposes so we broke up. He moved back to the state where we came from.
Several months later I met my current boyfriend (24M). We do not live together but he frequently stays over.
Recently, my exes mom (who I love and adore) texted me saying she was traveling in the area and wanted to stop by and say hello as well as pick up a few items that my ex left behind. I said of course.
Unfortunately, the days and times she is coming is also the times I have to work and am unable to be home. So I figured I’d take the items to my work and she can stop by and pick them up there.
I told this to my current boyfriend and he said he can just give her my exes stuff as he was planning on staying over those days anyways. I appreciated the offer but told him that it would just make more sense for her to come to my work. Plus, I didn’t want it to seem disingenuous. My exes mom is a sweetheart and we have (had?) a great relationship and I’d rather personally give her her son’s belongings out of respect.
My boyfriend seems to think this is odd and is making it out like I’m the asshole. So am I?

Hi there, sorry if incorrect format or misspellings I'm on mobile and in so much pain. So I had a marsupialization done on my left side on Thursday (it's now going on Sunday almost midnight) and when I first came home I didn't really feel much as I was pretty numb, and I was knocked completely out for this. Then on Friday I was in a lot of pain and the area was black I mean it looked like I had been burned so bad and had charcoal there. So I called the drs office and they told me to alternate between ibuprofen and tylenol along with my oxycoden. They gave me that because I regularly take hydrocodone for chronic pain issues. Normally she doesn't give "pain" meds. But they told me no baths, no soap, they didn't give me any antibiotics and basically no real instructions. Now I've dealt with this same cyst for 8 years. I had it drained twice in office about 8 years ago, it seemed to work but never fully went away. Then I got pregnant and when I gave birth I asked if she could drain it but she said no because of infection, okay I get that. I asked again at my 6 week appointment and she asked " well does it bother you?" And I said no it's just uncomfortable and that's all I ever heard from every dr until I recently said yes it does because it was so large I couldn't even put a finger in my vagina, like my vagina was non existence. Which leads me to here. Now today I was in so much pain. It's not really black anymore but it's super swollen and red and I can't sit or lay down it's miserable and sorry for tmi but it smells awful. I use a water bottle after I pee, I really need to do number 2, but I can't I even have taken stool softners and it's right there but because of the pain I physically can't get it out which just is awful. Please tell me some of your experiences with this. I feel this will not end. I miss playing with my son and hanging out with him, my mom is a big help as we live with her, but I just hate this and I feel like it's botched or something, I am bleeding but not a lot and it's a dark color and doesn't smell great (sorry tmi) what can I do to help with some of this pain? I do ice as they told me no heat at all. Also my inner thigh and left butt cheek hurt as well. Sorry for the long post. Thank you so much.

Not sure if I am cut out to be a med spouse.
We have been together dating now for almost 3 years. Me (30F) and him (27M). When we started dating he has always told me one of his goals was to get into med school. We didn’t know for sure if it was going to happen and this was his second time applying as the first round he tried, he didn’t get accepted into any schools. About a year and a half into dating, he got accepted into a med school within our state but 3 and a half hours away from home. We were living together when he got accepted and we talked about if I was moving with him or do LDR. I also have a now 9 yr old son so making the decision to uproot his life also was very hard for me. I also had my mom back at home to help me with my son and if I moved I would have no support system with my son. I did sit down and talked to my son to be sure he would understand to most of his ability if he would be okay with the possibility of moving and all the changes that came with it and to my surprise was very excited to maybe move to a new city. I also had my job, where I had work at for almost 7 years and leaving my job was also extremely hard for me as I was very happy at my job. I developed a lot of relationships with my customers that I had bonded and built trust with within those years in my field. I was very leaning towards trying to do LDR his first year of school and then move once he was more established at school. As the date got closer to making a final decision, I want to say he basically gave me a ultimatum of if we did long distance he didn’t think out relationship would work. He has never been in a long distance relationship before and neither had I but I was willing to put in the work and I reassured him that we could make it work but in his mind he didn’t think it would work because “he would constantly be worried about me”. I asked for a promise ring as I was uprooting my whole life and I just needed a reassurance for him to make this big move and he said no bc I just needed to trust his words. I was scared to put an end to our relationship so I decided to move with my son to support his dreams. I was very well aware that a lot of the responsibilities of supporting him would lean on me but prior moving he told me we would split rent 50/50 as he would be living off of his loans. He would help me when he could with house chores and with my son as needed.
I thrive off living life with a routine and communication of how our weeks will go. As soon as school started for him as much as I asked for his weekly class schedule there was always some excuse as to why “he forgot to send it to me”. I needed his schedule to plan accordingly as I was about to start a new job and needed to figure out how I was gonna make it work with my son’s school schedule also. We’ve had a lot issues right off the bat starting med school. He likes to go out and so every chance he to “celebrate” after an exam he would be out with classmates. I would stay home bc obviously I have my son and I also work the next day. I don’t mind him going out at all but its more about how he still barely made time to do anything with me like go out for a dinner date after an exam or just do something fun together. His immediate thought was to go out drinking with friends. Making me feel that he was putting these “new friends” before me.
But long story short because I think my rant is long enough. My bf is finishing his 1st year of med school. He has failed exams and had to retest a couple times and I have seen him fall into depressive episodes and just shut down. I try to be supportive and let him go thru it until he is ready to talk but I can’t say its has been easy for me when he is moody, grumpy and mean towards me a long the way. He gets mean with my son too when my son is being “too loud” for him. I clean I cook I do laundry basically do 90% of everything around the house. He will every couple of weeks maybe do something around the house. I guess most of the times I don’t feel appreciated. I cook after a 10hrs day of work and I don’t get a thank you and on the rare occasion “wow that was a good meal” and I only know he enjoys my food if he ask for seconds. I buy groceries and I would have to basically beg him to come out and help me bring them in to the point where I don’t ask anymore and he just bought me a wagon I guess so I don’t struggle too much carrying all the bags in. Ive expressed several times that I also work 10-11 hrs/day at work that I need a little help too and I don’t feel like I ask for a lot. He doesn’t know how to cook so I never ask him to cook. I clean the house every week. All I ask for is maybe dishes to get wash and just heavy lifting things that maybe I don’t have the strength for and trash to be taken out. I really try my best to make life easier for him while he is doing school but I also remind I am not his mom as he is also a mamas boy and his mom did everything for him even as an adult . He is very coddled by his parents.
I get home sick all the time. When we first moved, I went back home to visit once a month the first semester. Sometimes we were able to go all together but sometimes his schedule wouldn’t work with mine and I would have to go by myself and that was fine but I noticed when I would go by myself he would always find a reason to fight and make that time period that I was back at home miserable. For example my last visit back home was Spring break and I went on a girls trip to another state and back home to visit. At first he was fine when I left but when I was on vacation, he was being short with his texts and just by the way he was texting I knew something was wrong or he was mad. I asked him on my trip if he was mad I got to travel and he took it super personal and just stopped texting me. When I got back from my trip I was in my home town and he finally told me he was upset that I was on a trip on the same week his spring break was. Prior to all of this he knew my girls trips was planned months in advance. I had told him prior to me leaving he could drive back home and we could spend a few days together after my trip together and he refused and I think he was just trying to be difficult bc I didnt invite him on my trip, but WHY would I do that when it was specifically a trip for girls. So he told me I was extremely inconsiderate for going on that trip. So theres that..
We almost broke up after that but we tried to fix things. Fast forward to now I started having a gut feeling as something was off bc he barely wants intimacy anymore and I get it. We are both tired from our day to day. I never want anything anymore bc everything feels rushed and just to make him feel good and then he has to be done quick bc he has to go back to studying. One day recently I went thru his phone and found out he has been texting a girl through a fake number app. They don’t talk consistently but the intentions are there. Doesn’t seem like anything physical has happened but he definitely is trying constantly to meet up with her some day, he just hasn’t bc he has no time bc of school. I haven’t said anything out of consideration that he was going thru finals for end of year. I will admit I have been a little checked out mentally but this was just the icing on the cake bc I have been nothing but supportive to be cheated on. I think I am just numb to everything bc I can’t tell if I’m mad or sad or just relived that maybe this is my sign to go back home. Ive lost almost over 20 lbs since moving bc I dont barely eat just when Im home. My hair is starting to fall out more and I can’t tell if its stress. I guess from all of this I think you can kinda tell what I’m going thru. I have no friends here and its hard to hold this all in and have no one to talk to. My friends back home just tells me to come back already and that he doesn’t deserve me. I just didn’t really think this would be happening but I guess better now then later. I could go on and on about amongst other stuff but I’ll leave at this.
Thank you for reading my rant if you got this far. I know my writing is all over the place.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Wide-Area-6779
His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
Ongoing
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post Nov 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
Update - My husband left me after I told his mistress’s husband about their affair. March 19, 2024
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
RELEVANT COMMENTS

So basically your cheating ex is trying to blame you for him cheating. The delusion of cheaters.
You only informed the mistress's husband that she couldn't keep her legs closed to a cold breeze.
He had a right to know. Onwards and upwards.
UpdateMe

OOP

He didn’t blame me for anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated. He was only angry that her husband hurt her and her child.
Maybe my post was this convoluted that everyone here is thinking he is trying to put the blame in me? He doesn’t care at all. He just thought that I should have confronted him instead because he was the one who cheated on me.
I told everyone around us what he done and he doesn’t even care

~
List-and-dumbfound

The last 3 years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.
Do they even really know each other? Like how it is to be around each other on a daily basis. They are genuinely dumb to think the list will stay with 3 kids around plus handling chores and day to day things of life. They have 2 custody battles ahead of them and divorced on top of it.
If he’s angry with you the next time you have to see him, ask him why? He got what he wanted. He wanted to be with her and now he is. So why is he angry that you gave him what you wanted.
It’s probably shame that he’s painted to be a cheater. Not he can’t manipulate the narrative and paint you as the bad person.
If what they won is each other? Let them have each other. They are both awful people so they deserve each other

OOP

He is not angry about the divorce. He is angry I told the husband instead of him because the husband hurt her and her kid

DrNefariousMcFarious

He’s not angry bc of that, he always assumed that if you found out he could gaslight you into thinking that it was somehow your fault or not happening, but by you telling the other husband, there was no getting around it.

OOP

No he is angry about me putting his AP in danger.. he gives zero fucks about staying in our marriage or not. He only was with me to help raise the children and probably wait for her to get rid of her husband. I am not trying to he dramatic here but the soon I realize the truth the better is is for me to move on I think

I want full custody of my children after he went and beat up his mistress’s husband within an inch of his life and ended up in jail. Mar 22, 2024
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
inquiryreport

You probably should not have let your MIL in on this idea. Her first reaction is going to be that it will threaten her ability to see the grand kids and her son’s ability to be a father. Even if you think she is on your team have to assume she isn’t.

OOP

Yeah it was a big mistake

NEW UPDATE

He celebrated Mother’s Day with his mistress and her son May 12, 2024
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks

Well I am not stupid and he can record me all he wants because I was very calm and I genuinely agree that the children come first. Even her child tbh. But I know that she only had emergency custody of hers because of the assault but I know the rules here and she will probably need to move back soon because her husband has right to meet his son. In that case my husband can move away but he can’t have custody because I want a stable home for them. I don’t know why I am getting hate in my dms calling me vindictive.
I am very grateful to you and others who are mentioning that she is coaching him to say things. Of course! How stupid was I not to figure this out. From not talking to me for a second to being all nice and begging me to forgive him and to keep it amicable? Of course it is her. Even mother’s day flowers was probably from her.
MIL is very devastated about what happened and she visits me every day even when the children aren’t home. She said that she had to take her in until she gets her own place. No she is not allowed to meet the children and it is already decided and MIL is making sure this is not the case. I understand that MIL chooses her son but she hasn’t given up on me.
I have talked a lot with mom about what happened and no she doesn’t feel guilty. She said that it was different (of course it is🙄) hers was real love and dad’s ex was very abusive. I don’t know, I don’t believe in karma or anything but she said that she at least understands now how dad’s ex felt. I feel anger because some people win and some lose and I still love him very much. I regret exposing what happened. At least I could have had 4 more years together. And the children would have been a bit older. I regret so much things that I have done in a moment of grief and anger

OOP When told to be careful what she puts in text messages and once again be weary of the mistress

Thanks. I have been very careful about texting because as I am keeping all the evidence, I am counting on him doing that too. About his mistress, it is less “evil” than that because I was wrong about her recording the abuse. She stole the surveillance her husband had installed around their house to spy on her. MIL told me this today. She is probably hoping for full custody but I know the rules here and he will have right to see his son no matter so the c-word will have to move back sooner or later.
Only them I will be asking for full custody if my husband moves with her to her city because I don’t want a part time father to my children who shows up whenever he pleases. I want stability. He is either a father or not

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Born_Analysis8995
Originally posted to self
My (16m) mom (40f) confessed that she is my sister and I now feel bad
Trigger Warnings: death of a loved one, past sexual assault, teen pregnancy, drugs and alcohol use, mentions of overdose
Original Post (Wayback Machine): May 11, 2024
Idk why I feel so much guilt about this whole situation. This happened 5 days ago, 1 week after my 16th birthday.
So my mom (sister) explained our entire family situation. Her mom (my bio mom) was assaulted as a teenager (15) and was forced to keep the child because of her parents, eventually giving birth to my mom. They struggled a lot during this time and my mom was resented by her mom so she moved away as soon as she was 18 and went NC. Her mom began spiralling with drugs, alcohol, etc once she left and eventually ended up pregnant again with me around the time my mom was 23. However, she was deemed unfit to raise me so they managed to contact my mom and she agreed to take me in. My bio mom never really recovered and ended up overdosing a year later.
This completely surprised me because I genuinely never had clue I wasn't actually my mom's child. We look very much alike and she went to great lengths to become my mom. She said that I don't need to call her mom anymore and that I deserved to know the truth before I turn 18. This upset me and I absolutely disagreed with her and said that no matter what she would always be my mom and I would always call her that because she is in every way my mom. And we both cried over this and hugged and I thanked her for telling me the truth also.
The thing that is eating away at me though is that she sacrificed so much to raise me and I can't repay her in any way. Like she hasn't dated at all even though I know that she wants a partner. She also changed professions to better accommodate me. She has done so much and I can't repay her in any way. And I haven't always been the best to her either. I was definitely difficult as a child and recently I haven't really been listening and respecting her as much as I should be. And I know I've probably said some mean things over the years, mostly around wanting to be with my dad (she initially said that she had a husband that abandoned us when I was born). All of this just made me feel so much guilt and sadness. And I know if I talk to her about it she'll just reassure me that she is happy and I shouldn't worry but I can't get rid of this feeling.
I've decided that I'm going to be the best son ever and do everything she says from now on. But I still can't get rid of this feeling. I don't know what to do.
Relevant/Top Comments
YoungeCurmudgeon4: Your sister is an amazing woman and an incredible person and deserves all the love and respect in the world.
As for you, handling this so well takes a lot in a person. Be proud of yourself. And always believe in yourself.

OOP: Thanks I'll try my best ❤️ My love for her is probably at an all time high. I wish I'd know earlier so that I could have always treated her this way.

TraditionalShop6800: Talk to your mom, thank her and tell you are grateful for how she raised you. And now, she should think about herself too. Encourage her to date again and find a partner.

OOP: Okay I will. I think I'll take some time to figure out the right words to say to her 😅

Galactus1701: Repay her by being the best person you can be. Help her, be respectful, study and always be grateful.

OOP: Absolutely will be the best son I can 😅

BiasCutTweed: You have to also give yourself a little grace here - your mom sounds amazing and deserves all the best, but what she clearly wanted for you was to give you a normal, stable childhood. And it’s very normal for children to act out sometimes, to say things in anger, to be difficult. It’s all a part of growing up.
The good thing is that it’s easy to see from your reaction to what she told you that she did an amazing job and you’re well on your way to becoming a great person she will be proud of. Take all of this and let it strengthen those good qualities. Do your best for her and yourself but don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes you can’t change. You don’t need to repay her for the choices she made, you just need to live a life that makes you both happy.

OOP: Thank you for the advice ❤️ I'll definitely try my best to feel proud of myself and also make her happy

 
Mini Update: May 12, 2024
I've literally been tearing up from all the comments and messages from everyone. I am honestly so grateful for all the kind words and reassurance. Genuinely thanks so much ❤️
Not much of an update really but I thought I would still share. I took a few pieces of advice and have done them randomly during day. Firstly Happy Mother's Day everyone. Hope you had a great time. Me and my mom had a few things planned for today and I got back just over an hour ago now. We went to the cinema then a restaurant and ended the day with bowling. Honestly had an absolute blast and she was happy throughout. I got her a gift too, it was a photo engraved bracelet which I gave her at the end of bowling.
One advice I got was saying things that show her I care about her so I said "Your the best" and hugged her after the cinema. I also said "I love you" when giving her the bracelet which made her cry 😭
I still do feel the guilt but I'm not gonna let it get me down. Don't want more stress especially with exams coming up 😅 I saw a lot of comments mentioning that I shouldn't keep my feelings bottled up so I am planning on conveying all my feelings to her soon. I'll probably write a letter because I know I'll probably start crying before I even start speaking 😂 I think that will definitely give me some peace of mind. Thanks all again for taking the time to read this ❤️
(Also I completely forgot how biology works in my last post 😅 She would be my half-sister not sister since I doubt our father's were the same. But regardless I'm still going to call her mom 😁)
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

TLDR: I'm happy to enter into an agreement with my ex-spouse where I pay our son's first year of college expenses, and she pays the second year; but how do I protect myself from unexpected "changes."
Context:
We live in Texas. She was, historically, custodial parent, I was non-custodial parent, and my "support obligation" (which I have always paid willingly - and was actually satisfied early) ended in March of this year.
Our son is graduating high school and has been accepted to university. I have offered to pay 50% of any and all college financial obligations. She has cut off all communication and apparently expects me to foot 100% of the bill for all four years. While I am financially capable of doing that, I believe she should be responsible for half. Therein lies the conundrum.
I have pointed out that I would pay cash for half, and she could take out fafsa/student/parent loans for her half. She is refusing.
My son has proposed that I pay the first year, and Mom will pay the second year. My problem with that is the "what if's".......what if she refuses next year, as she has done for year #1? As ridiculous as it sounds, what if he goes to school one year and then decides to join the circus.....or finds the woman of his dreams.....or any number of other distractions? I wouldn't fault him in any of those circumstances. But what about the funds I have put down? Is his mother responsible for nothing?
The proposal is that we draw up a legal document that makes her legally obligated to fulfill the proposal. And if she doesn't, she's financially liable for penalties/interest.
Believe me, I know this sounds cold, and I don't mean it to be. It actually kills me to even be having this conversation. But I simply don't feel I should risk my family's (and that includes my son) financial well-being, based on her verbal agreement. She has a history of lying and doing "sneaky things" to deny my ability to spend time or participate in his life.
How would (or even could) one draw up a legal agreement where, if I pay my son's first year of university, my ex-spouse is obligated to fulfill her part of the bargain and pay the second year; and if she doesn't, there are financial ramifications?
I'm happy to request the assistance of an attorney. If that's the appropriate route, for what should I be asking?
I want my son to go to college. And i'm happy to pay my part in it. I just don't want to over-expose myself to manipulation.
Am I thinking about this incorrectly? Are there landmines I'm not thinking of?
Please, and thank you in advance to all of you.

I tried to shorten this as best as I could.
I (18f)(Maryland, U.S.A) use to nanny for a family who owns a rabbit. The rabbit was kept outside in dangerous temperatures, unsafe environment, a ~2 by ~2 box, alone, had no hay or toys, on wire, and being tormented by their kids during the very little time it had outside of it's cage. They were abusing and neglecting it. They have an autistic son who treated and handle the rabbit like a stuffed animal. It was dangerous for the rabbit even if he didn't mean it any harm. There’s a lot more detail I could go into. I ended up quitting due to them not being willing to change their treatment towards the rabbit. I called animal control and they sent a police officer out to investigate. The officer said no one was home but the rabbit had shelter so it was fine. Later on I compiled a bunch of research and articles on how they were neglecting the rabbit and offered to take it since I have 2 of my own. I was super nice but they basically told me to go away. So I told them I understood and wouldn't be contacting them again. A bit later I decided to review the county's animal rights law where they live (County B). I wrote down each law that they violated and how in an email that I sent animal control. They said they would send an animal control officer out, not a police officer. I responded saying I would be willing to take the rabbit if it was surrendered. I don't believe animal control even read my email or reviewed the laws I cited. They went to the family and said the rabbit had a roof and food so it was fine.
Later I received a call from a private number. I picked up and the man on the other end of the phone identified himself as a police officer for county B. I asked for him name and he muttered something. I asked him to repeat himself and he said "the same thing I said the first time". I wrote down the name I believed I heard. He proceeded to tell me that he was good friends with the family and also a police officer. He said that making a report to animal control was harassment and that he would make a case. Then he told me that as a police officer he would make sure to turn a misdemeanor into a felony and he'd make sure that it would follow me for the rest of my life. I asked him if he had read my email outlining every law that was violated, he said no. He asked for an example and I said how the cage had a wire bottom. He then admitted he didn't know the animal rights laws. He proceeded to tell me that even though he hasn't physically seen the family in 2 years that he could guarantee the rabbit was perfectly fine. This didn't make sense since the rabbit is only around a year old. He then proceeded to try and convince me there was nothing wrong with their treatment of the rabbit. He brought up that he had 5 tours in the military and was a police officer for a long time. He then talked about how he had seen and done horrible things while on the job and that I could never comprehend or understand. He compared the rabbit to what he has seen and said that the rabbit was fine in comparison. He started telling me that animal control would euthanize the rabbit and that they euthanize almost any animals they get. He kept trying to get me to say I would drop the report. It felt as if he was trying to scare me into not talking to animal control by threatening the rabbits life. He also told me to not talk about the family's autistic son in a very threatening tone and that he "would do a lot for that boy". At one point in the call he said "as a police officer I can punch you once but you'll remember it for the rest of your life." As a disabled woman that comment in particular was very scary to me. He also went on a tangent about God and about how he "isn't racist". There was a lot more he ranted about. I have PTSD and he triggered it. He had scared and intimated me.
I was worried and intimated into almost giving up. Luckily someone pointed out to me that a cop shouldn't say those things. I looked up the name I heard and found a retired police officer by that name on the County B's police website. I also found that a man with that name was friends with the mom on facebook. I decided to call the state police and they transferred me to the town I live in's police department. I told the officer what had happened. He told me that the man's actions weren't legal or professional. He also looked up the man name in some type of record system and said there was currently no active officer with the name I heard. He told me to call the station if I received another call from this number. I can't remember if he said if he would tell county B's police, as I was still very freaked out at this point.
I decided to email county B's police anyway since I was still very anxious, scared, and concerned. I believe he impersonated a police officer and threatened me, both physically and legally. They said it was not their department. I called animal control and they confirmed that they didn't assign a police officer to this case. I was worried that this man might hurt me physically, get the rabbit euthanized, make a false report, or interfere with animal controls investigation. He had freaked me out severely. I had to have extensions on my college work because I was too scared to go to campus. I still haven't gotten another job due to fear of something like this happening again. It was hard for me to handle emotionally and mentally. Around this time I got very ill and was in incredible pain. I did not try to get further help on this situation since I was scared and in a lot of pain. I have had surgery that has helped the pain and given me a lot of time to think. I am finally ready to try and do something over what he did. Is there any case or some type of justice I can get from this? I've had really bad nightmares over the rabbit's safety and the threats ever since. I'm hoping some type of justice might help get rid of them. I need help and guidance and I hope I can get that here.

THIS IS A CONTINUATION STORY. CLICK MY PROFILE TO FIND PART 1.
Once I got into my house, I wasn't sure what to feel. I was nervous and shy at the same time. My mom always keeps bottles of liquor in the house so I picked up a random whiskey and started drinking it. About 20 mins later, I felt a lot more confidence and slutty. I put on some panties and stood in front of the full body mirror to snap diff angles or my ass. I sent him the pics and sent a msg saying "I actually dont need to sleep on it... can I come over now for that🍆." He msged back with a pic of his semi hard cock and told me to come thru. I put on some baggy sweats and sweater and walked over to his house. It was about 7 mins away by walk so I said why not. I finally got there and he gave me a tight hug, mainly focusing on my ass as he gripped it. I smiled while my face was buried in his chest and I walked in. I told him if he wanted to smoke some weed and brought out some of my own. He told me to keep my weed and pulled out this weed that was in a crazy looking alien space typa of bag. As he was breaking down the weed and rolling up. I decided in my mind and said fuck it and stood up to drop my baggy sweats to reveal my bubble butt in the pink thongs. He sropped rolling for a second and looked up at my ass while moaning "mmm." He smacked it up and continued to roll up. After he rolled it up he started to light it. I nervously moved up onto his lap and sat on it adjusting my position so that his cock really feels my ass.
"Its so soft and round." He said while coughing and passing the blunt to me. I grabbed it and started smoking. He put his hands around my waist and started to grind up all on his dick. We passed the blunt back and forth as I kept it up. He eventually got hard. He told me he was like 80 percent hard and I smiled and told him "I'll take care of the other 80 percent" I pulled his briefs off to reveal a massive cut white cock. I was holding the bottom of his cock while waving it around slowly. I was amazed at how big and tasty it looked.
"Put it in ur mouth already." My friend said as he pushed the back of my head towards it. I gave the head of his huge cock a lick or two, before I slowly and sensationally sucked his cock. It was so thick that getting the head into my mouth was difficult. He let out a deep moan as I kept sucking on the head for now. I used both of my small hands to jerk him off while I sucked it. I kept eye contact with him while sucking until he started to face fuck me. I coughed and gagged hella times and tears and spit were all over my face.
"Aw look at the little cry baby" he said while teasing me. I smiled and told him stfu and then continued to go even deeper with my mouth. He pulled his cock out my mouth and started slapping me in the face with it. I stuck my tongue out and smiled like a slut.
"Ur doing good my lil slut, better then the last 10 females tbh." He said while looking down on me. I felt proud of myself after he complimented me.
"I guess I was meant to suck ur dick right?" I said smiling before getting on the sofa and sticking my ass in the air for him to pound.
"Shit I'm down to try but wtf makes u think u can take this dick in ur ass and not run away wen u only got half my dick wet with ur mouth?" He said while slapping his cock on my ass cheeks and rubbing it on my hole. I was getting hornier feeling the skin of his cock on my ass hole.
"Mmm I'm so horny, please just put it in already daddy." I felt like I was able to take all of his dick, until he attempted to put it in. I screamed out of pain and squirmed away like he said I would. He started laughing seeing me struggle to take it.
"Hehe, u got skills with ur mouth but u got ways to go until ur taking this dick in ur butt with no problem." He said while stroking his cock. I turned around and started to suck his dick again and try to make him cum. I wasn't able to but I got him close. He took his dick out my mouth and told me to say "ahh" I opened wide and he bussed a fat load all over my face.
"If only u could see this masterpiece, this is what I call true art" he said while chuckling. I walked over to the mirror to see how he painted my face. I smiled like the little slut I and licked up as much as I could off my face. We washed up in the shower together where I sucked him for less the a minute, made out with him for a couple of minutes, then we washed each other and finished showering. We dried up and applied lotion to each other. Once we were all lotioned and washed up. I was ready to head out.
"Next time ur here, make sure that ass come prepared for training... most ppl are able to take it the first time, be proud of urself." He said while patting me on the head. I smiled and said I'll try my best to make sure I ready. He grabbed my shoulder to pull me closer to him and showed me an adult store to go to, so I can purchase a dildo. I said cool and gave him a hug as well as let him touch my ass before I walked out the door.
I finally got home and didn't know what to think. We still are meeting up tmrw in the morning like we usually do, but I guess from here on out, ima be his blowjob machine while driving... or even more. I ended the night with me just thinking of our link up and I was able to get had instantly and buss a nut not too long afterwards. It was hard to sleep with me being excited to meet tmrw but I some how did it.
Next part will be in a week... I gotta train myself first and foremost. Might make a story to that as well.....

I was evicted by my own parents on Christmas Eve via texting war with my step day during a 10hr shift as a barber. I was informed my youngest daughter (6) wouldn’t be returning from her fathers house for Christmas that same day. My oldest daughter (16) and I were casted out of our family’s traditional Christmas festivities and we spent Christmas Eve and Day alone. The day after she went to “lunch” with my ex mother in law and never came home. I was devastated which caused a pain flare up (fybromiaga/myofacial pain syndrome/stage 4 endometriosis, degenerative disc disease). I couldn’t get out of bed. I had to call off. I was fired on January 3rd. On January 6th I was pulled over and arrested because the passenger of my vehicle had put 3GS of crack in an old prescription bottle of mine she stole from my house earlier that day. January 8th my phone was turned off. On the 10th my car broke down and I just got it back yesterday morning.
While my phone was off I missed every call and message sent to me by Child Services. I missed every opportunity to defend myself against the lies and accusations made by my ex. My mom had started forwarding my mail to the post office without my knowledge. I received not 1 certified letter. I missed my first 2 court dates.
I spent almost a month alone in the house I was abused in as a child/teen. The house I shared with my daughters, no car, no phone, no money, and eventually no food.
In a span of two weeks, I lost my kids, my family, my house, my job, my phone, my car, and was arrested.
I’ve never been in trouble in my life. Always had full custody of all three of my children find the age of 17. and for the most part without any involvement of their fathers outside of the weekends. But I lost all of it. My ex had manipulated my family in believing complete lies about me. Smear campaigns surround me every day. Every morning I wake up and realize where I am, and how far away from my children I am and I lose it. I cry every time I open my eyes. It’s been months. And every day it hurts more. Because I can’t afford a lawyer, there’s a very good chance I won’t get them back.
My son (22) lives in a different state but calls almost daily bc he knows he is the one that is keeping me here. But if I lose custody of my youngest daughter, like I did my oldest, there’s no way I can continue living like this, feeling this much pain, physically and emotionally every single day. My little one. I cry all day every day. She was my sidekick . We went everywhere together. She was right by my side since the day she was born, She is my best buddy and they ripped her away from me. Without a single conversation. Not one. My exes, vindictive, hateful actions can only possibly be fueled by his desire to not go to jail for the $15,000 he owes in back child support. Up until a week before this, he was still trying to come back home. Still making advances on me. Leading me to believe that we were friends. But now I know it was all part of the plan. He had been plotting for months. Because my family operates in such negativity towards me they happily took the bait. I will never speak to any of them again. And the only reason why I haven’t been able to get my children back is because he dismantled my life by ensuring that I couldn’t afford a lawyer. Nothing in the report was true. It was all lies based on hearsay. So I’m here to warn you… no matter how good of a mother you are, if someone is determined to take everything away from you, they will. All I have left to do is pray to whatever God will listen to me. A lawyer shows up at my doorstep, expecting zero payment, and they fight to bring the truth to light. for me. Otherwise this is all going to end soon for me. I just can’t handle the sadness. I haven’t seen my daughter since December 20, 2020 23. I never gone more than two days without her before that. my heart aches more at the thought of her being alone without her mother than it does for myself. My teenager is not trapped with her abusive narcissistic, father. Being treated like dog shit. Unable to speak to me or her brother. All my family invites that monster and his mistress to Easter and breaks bread with them. It’s all so twisted. I just want this nightmare to end.
Thank you for allowing me to vent.

Hello. I went to a garage sale today, and I was shocked to see my deceased brothers ex gf and his son at their garage sale. For background, my brother passed away about 8 years ago from an overdose. He had a son who we knew as a child and his ex gf was very involved in my life growing up. My brother wasn’t really involved in his son’s life. My brothers sons mom remarried and my nephew has grown up in a stable family, better than my brother could’ve given him. I bought a dress, and my brothers ex and I exchanged ed some words about the dress I bought while paying but she seemed to know who I was. I was I was shaking and tried not to make eye contact, I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. She was happy. My mom said that there’s no way she didn’t know who I was since she was so involved in my life for awhile. I wish I had said something else, but what was I going to say?! “Do you remember me?! You’re son’s biological fathers little sister?!” It wasn’t the place or time. She could’ve hid or been cold, but she wasn’t. She has a bow business and we discussed her FB page, her mom told me to check it out! I want to support her, as I have nothing against her, however idk if it’s a good idea or if I’ll scare her away. She didn’t seem to be scared or mad, but glad. And so was I. It was bittersweet for sure. I don’t think I want my nephew to know who I am, he was adopted by his mom’s husband and I respect that. Is it too much to buy from her online store? How soon is too soon? Thanks for any input and advice, I’m so shocked and I don’t know what exactly I should do!

For some context, my current bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. We dates my sophomore year and his first junior year (he repeated his junior year twice to do sports) for about 3 months. We go to the same church and reconnected at church camp 2 years after our first breakup. This time had been a lot different and a lot better because I thought we had both matured. “Thought” is the key word. Since we’ve been together for almost 2 years I have met most of his family and have been around them a lot. The way they act and treat him makes me worried about our future together. For one, he’s a HUGE mommas boy (no hate to mommas boys out there). His mom is one of those “my sons is my best friend” moms and I can’t stand her sometimes. She babies him and his older brother to act like they do no wrong in her eyes. Because of this, he expects me to treat him this way. I have told him on multiple occasions that that will not work for me. One instance I can think of was last summer. He was having really bad allergy problems and his normal allergy meds weren’t working. He was complaining about how bad they were and I told him he probably needed a stronger dose and should go to the doctor. He asked if I would make the appointment for him because “he didn’t know where to go”. I told him that there is a local clinic he could go to and I gave him their number so he could make the appointment. That next week, he went to the doctor and made his mother go with him. Mind you HE IS 20 YEARS OLD. Another thing about his family is how his father acts. My bf and I both graduated high school last year and while in school we both did the usual college visits. During these visits both of his parents would come along and ask all the questions for him. His dad would only let him talk to the School of Education for each college because he says “I’m paying for your education so I decide what degree you get”. My bf does not want to be a teacher but he has to because if he does not get an education degree he won’t be able to go to college. I hate they way his dad treats him, but his dads personality is coming out in him and that worries me about our future together. My bf is constantly talking about “when we get married” and “when we have kids” and I have told him that those thoughts haven’t crossed my mind because we are far too young to be thinking about those sort of things. I think heads been pushing those ideas because we have a few friends of our who are getting married this year or are having kids. There are other things that he does that I cannot see myself being able to live with everyday but I won’t get into those if no one wants to know. I’ve have serious thoughts about breaking up with him because he causes me so much stress but I don’t want to break up with him right before we go away to college. We are both going to different colleges that are about 2 hours away from each other. He is constantly worrying about us breaking up or that I will “find someone better”. Everytime I see him he brings this up and it makes me feel like he doesn’t trust me and he sort of guilt trips me into feeling bad for not wanting to go to the same college as him (I have many reasons for not wanting to go to the college he chose). If anyone could please give me advice regarding this situation, that would be much appreciated. I’m not sure what to do anymore.

As a mom with a son, I never understood the boy mom hate until I saw this comment… ick.
I’ll quote it since I can’t attach a photo.
“First born is a boy and love him to pieces. Second one due in October and will be a girl but first and foremost a boy mom.”

I’m (31F) heavily pregnant and had my baby shower today. It was co-ed plus kids, so my husband (32M) and son (5) were there. Everything was great until my son got his fingers slammed in a door. He was playing with other kids his age and a little older in a bedroom right next to the living room where we were. We were all checking in continuously but in between a checking, two of the kids shut the bedroom door and locked it, leaving my sons fingers stuck in the door. I ran as soon as I heard him screaming, and banged on the door, repeatedly telling the kids inside to unlock the door. They opened it but his fingers were badly hurt, one was bleeding and they were turning purple and he couldn’t bend them. I got him and started walking with him to the living room and my husband grabbed him to go get ice and check out the damage.
My kid is like a rubber ball and normally gets over being hurt pretty fast but he cried for over an hour and was clearly in pain. I was literally sick to my stomach. The look on his face and the fact that I couldn’t get the door open and feeling helpless keep replaying in my head. To be clear, I’m not upset at all with anyone involved, kids are kids and it was 100% an accident. My husband didn’t think we needed to but for my peace of mind and the fact that he kept crying for so long, we took him to a walk in ER. At first glance, the doctor said his fingers are ok but we got a message to call back when the clinic opens because the radiologist found something on his Xray.
Hours after this, I was sitting on the couch with my husband and started crying because I keep thinking about the situation and I’m also hormonal. My husband asked why I was crying and I told him the look on my son’s face and the helpless feeling keeps replaying in my head and I just feel so bad. I asked my husband if he got upset at all and he was like “No, I’m not going to be emotional about it. I’m just going to fix it.” He is typically level headed and not very emotional at all and most of the time I get it. But I’m struggling with the fact that our child getting hurt didn’t affect him.
I know that in these situations, my husband will handle it better than me. I didn’t cry or scream or yell during the whole event. I asked my mom if I yelled because I kind of blacked out but she said no, I just firmly asked the girls to open the door but you could hear the panic in my voice. Am I being over-emotional about this? I know this seems like a minor injury but this is the first time my son has ever gotten really hurt. Is there anyone else out there that isn’t very emotional that can give me perspective?

Hi again everyone If you've read my other post you know all about my MIL and our situation but now we are in another one and I'm really worried that I've done something wrong. (P.S) if this looks weird I typed it all in my noted and then copy and pasted)
So me(F25)and my Fiancé "ryan" (M27) went low contact with his mother around 3 or 4 months ago after she made some racist remarks to one of my daughters (I'm black FH is white) so fast forward to last week I gave birth so an adorable little girl our 3rd"Ari" we were super excited my parents were at the birth as well as both sets of siblings and our children. It's important to note only my FH and my mother where in the room while I was giving birth WITH Ryan's permission.
Anyway a couple days pass and we decide to finally tell his mother we told her and sent a couple pictures his mother called SCREAMING at us for not telling her and "hiding" her granddaughter from her and also angry because she witnessed her other grandkids birth (from her other children she never has witnessed my kids births) and we took away a precious moment from her. She also made more comments about us not speaking to her and her not seeing my kids anymore. And worst of all her making comments that my newborn was "too dark to be her sons" ( our child together does look much like him with light skin and straight hair valmost completely white vs. My own dark skin) and told my FH to get a paternity test. We quickly hung up and just kind of went about our day.
Now my Fiancé siblings are telling me that while they understand my decision To go low contact, That I Should have told MIL About the birth so she could see her new grandchild my FH is also on my side but I can tell he misses his mom and wished our kid could have that relationship back so I'm starting to wonder If I should've at least let her know in time to come see the baby while we were at the hospital. And I feel really bad because I just want to keep my kids safe and happy as well as my FH so am I the AH?

I don’t like being around my MIL anymore, especially after what my boyfriend told me. there was already fucking weird, tension beforehand. It was my gut telling me that something was wrong.
my boyfriend exposed his mom because she wanted to talk shit about me when I’ve done nothing wrong…… 😔 it really hurt me. because if she has a problem with ME, or has a QUESTION ABOUT ME, she should tell ME, to my FACE, NOT her fucking son. my boyfriend should have defended me. Instead, he didn’t.
All I do “wrong” is when we come over, I bring a bowl of food for everyone to have. for example, a bowl of watermelon, pineapple or a loaf of homemade banana bread. The fact that she and my FIL and BIL don’t eat it, is not my fault. She told my boyfriend that she doesn’t like it when I bring food for everyone to eat because nobody eats it. and that she’s tired of “throwing away my food” for me. I’m just trying to share with everyone! what the fuck.
something else that hurt me was that on mother’s day i gave her a gift, she was all happy about it… little did I know that she would be capable of wanting to talk bad about me!
so much for building a fucking relationship with her. I’m just glad I can’t have kids because i am NOT giving this woman any grandkids.
No wonder she refuses to build a relationship with me. It really hurts me because I miss my mom so much. And it’s so ironic because i’m the second woman in this family, she’s been the only woman in this family for many years, because it’s always been her, my boyfriend, her other son, and husband. I thought for the sake of being the second woman, she would be different. I wish she would invite me somewhere to go with her, but nope. If my mom knew how this lady is, she’d be so fucking furious. She’d probably advise me to break up with my bf ASAP and have me move back home.
When my birthday comes around, I don’t want anything from this woman. Nor do I want a hug or gifts from her, nothing.
I’d rather spend my birthday with my boyfriend at the cheesecake factory than with her. I hate this fucking tension. I hate it.