There was like 3 words that came up when I search up fear of fireworks
So NORMALLY I would have a reasoning as to why I'm afraid but this one came out the blue
one day me and my family were driving out of CVS and it was July 4th! I didn't even know, I was eating my hot chips in the car when my dad randomly stopped at a park thays a few feet away from a huge lake. I got confused and asked them why are we here and they didn't awnser
long story short my dad parked where a 4th of July party firework show was bring held. past times I would be sitting at the window in the dark with my little sister watching them , admiring them with NO PROBLEM I was so HAPPY to be there by the lake but when the party started and fire works came out I saw the first fire work lit up and I cried it was SO scary I kept crying and begged my mom to go back she sighed and agreed and my whole family hated me
I don't think it's because of the loud noises.

theory: simon is stella and in reality simon has always been in a sanitarium because he has schizophrenia so he made up a whole story about hawaii.
proof: hot rod duncan told me this yesterday.

This thread is about to be very long, and I will be adding to it frequently, but this is how I would write season 3 of Euphoria since Sam is obviously preoccupied with god knows what. This came to me in a dream so call it fate ig.
Background- since season 2 ends with the card that Rue stayed sober through the rest of junior year, and Lexi’s play takes place in the spring, I thought it’d be best to pick up on the first day of their senior year in the fall. This means that Cassie, Maddie, and Nate have all graduated, leaving us with Rue, Jules, Lexi, Elliot, Bobbi, Ethan, BB & Kat. Also Gia, the Parents, and Ali. Anyways here goes.
Episode 1- I Stayed Sober (Mostly)
[Scene 1]: The Last First Day Episode One opens with a black screen that has flashes of red and blue, like police sirens, that increasingly become more intense and vibrant, to indicate Rue coming out of a dissociative state. She narrates over the screen:
“You want to know the worst part about staying sober? It’s not the withdrawals or the cravings, even though they’re pretty fucking bad. It’s not even the depression or the emptiness you feel without your poisonous security blanket protecting you from your worst thoughts and emotions. The worst part about staying sober, is that you’re trapped back in the fucked up world that made you want to do drugs in the first place”
The red and blue screen shifts to police sirens with cops yelling in an attempt to evacuate everyone from the school. It’s raining and the sky is gray and muddy. All the students are now wearing muted uniforms in the school colors, blue black and white (the uniforms are explained later) The scene looks very muted and drained. As the students flood out of the school in a frenzy, we see Rue and Lexi standing at the exit, uninterested in the theatrics and significantly changed from last season.
Rue has a brighter disposition to herself, appearing more soft and bright, while keeping her moody demeanor. Her look shows that she is trying her best to be more optimistic, despite going through hell from her plethora of mental illness that have now taken over due to her sobriety. Still, she looks healthier and brighter.
Lexi, on the other hand, has a more goth like appearance. In addition to her new dark black hair with red colored streaks (red to signify her stepping into her power) she also looks less approachable with more gothic motifs such as skulls and roses on her increased accessories. We learn later that this is an attempt to reinvent herself after last year’s play incident and fez dying. She seems uninterested and annoyed, but has a more confident air after being put in the spotlight and no longer having to live under her sisters shadow. She has become more monotone, speaking her mind and embracing her realistic perspective of life.
They begin walking to the parking lot, looking for Lexi’s mom among the waves of chaotic students pushing past them.
Rue: Of course, just our fucking luck that someone decides to shoot up the school our first day of senior year.
Lexi: It wasn’t even a real shooting. I heard some kid brought a gun to show off and got tackled by his teacher. Everyone started freaking out, and now I’m missing the first day of my AP English class.
Rue: Not like you need it. I think you proved that you can write a good story that makes waves and changes lives (sarcasm)
Lexi: 😐 that’s not funny Rue. That play is all anyone could talk about all summer. Everyone hates me because they think it’s my fault that we all have to wear these stupid uniforms.
Rue: actually that was Cassie’s fault, that fight got a new edit every week. My favorite was the #mollywhop dance (starts doing a dance that is significant of Maddie slapping Cassie and Cassie riding a carousel)
Lexi: Rue I’m serious. I got so sick of living in the background that I put my entire life on display in front of all of East Highland just for my sister to make everything about her.
Rue: Well good writing is supposed to be controversial. And take it as a victory, at least you’re not a nobody anymore.
Random Guy: Hey Lexi, I got a horse you can ride (does the dance)
Cop: Keep it moving sir!
They get to the end of the parking lot and sit on the pavement.
Lexi: 🙄of course she’s late.
Rue: hey, it’s a new year. You’re no longer the girl whose sister was the hottest cheerleader in school and I’m no longer the resident drug addict that everyone is waiting to die.
Lexi: you’re right. That’s Elliot. Or Jules. Have you checked on either of them since his overdose?
Rue: no…fuck them both. They seem happy in their stupid relationship with their stupid anniversary posts. I had to block them both before I killed myself or worse. They can die for all I care.
Lexi: well he almost did. I heard he had a stroke and is in a wheelchair until he learns how to walk again.
Rue: trying to hide that she’s concerned really?…i mean i don’t care, but that’s what he deserves right? Can’t do drugs that carelessly without consequences. Ask me how I know.
Lexi: I don’t think anyone deserves to OD. I hope he gets some help.
Rue: he has help, that bitch is playing housewife which she probably loves. Attention seeking whore. You know I’m sick of talking about Jules and Elliot and Cassie and every other narcissist with a victim complex that keeps trying to make themselves the main character. pulls her closer with a shoulder hug this year it’s about us. Starting over and getting a chance to finally make it out of this stupid town. You have colleges lined up at the door and I’ve been sober for almost a year. No one is going to take this year from us. That why you blocked Cassie, and that’s why I had any memory of Jules permanently erased from my brain. Out of sight out of mind.
Lexi: I guess you’re right. New year, new us.
Rue: alright. Now call your mom so we can get out of the rain. I hate cops more than I hate being fully clothed and wet.
Lexi: (finally smiling) almost as much as they hate you
Rue: hey fuck you, I still have to go to court for that.
Lexi: too soon? 🤭
Rue: just dial the fucking phone
Rue [vo while it shows Suze driving up and the girls walking across the parking lot]: Despite how terrible last year was, I feel like Lexi and I finally got back to how things used to be. Before the drugs, before the funerals. Just Rue and Lexi like it’s always been. Sometimes I forget how great life was when I was just a kid. But drugs tend to take away everything that makes life, life. I just wish Fezco had stayed alive long enough to finally see me sober. Then maybe Lexi wouldn’t be so serious and emo these days. But she took care of me, and now it’s my turn. I just don’t know what’s worse, losing the love of your life before you get a chance to say it love you (shot of Lexi rubbing a cross chain fez gave her looking at the sky before getting in the car) or thinking you found the love of your life just to end up as strangers. (As Rue opens the door to get in, she sees Jules wheeling Elliot across the parking lot. She stares for a bit before getting in the car.) Either way, we all died. (Rue gets in the car before Jules can see her.)
Jules looks over at the car but doesn’t see anyone. She looks distraught, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rue, who she hasn’t seen since the play. She’s dressed in a mostly black school girl uniform with a short skirt and corset that she’s clad in neon accessories and coquettish garters and bows. Her hair is longer than in season 2 but shorter than season 1. This is to signify that she’s embracing her femininity more with Elliot, but is stepping into a more powerful, dominant version of femininity. She’s content with her relationship, and rebuilding herself after the abuse she endured in relationship with rue. Now she’s just worried about repeating the same story with Elliot. She looks off into the distance, paused in a state of reflection.
Elliot: babe are you good? Jules: what? Yea just thought I saw something. (Continues wheeling him across the parking lot) Elliot: It was probably a ghost. HEY CASPER, LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH HOMIE Jules: (laughing) you’re so unserious Elliot: what do you mean? I’m serious. I don’t want his ectoplasm fucking up your makeup. Jules: You’re the one who keeps fucking up my makeup Elliot: and I’ll do it again kisses her winces ow fuck Jules: relax dude. You know the doctor said you can’t stretch your spine much after your stroke. Elliot: and you know I told that doctor nothing can kill me and I’m basically a god Jules: even when you’re sick you’re still crazy Elliot: crazy for you Jules: yea yea, just be happy it was a stroke and not a death sentence. whispers in his you know if you would’ve died I would have to kill you. Elliot: besides the fact that that makes zero sense, you know it wasn’t my fault Jules: I’m just glad that Laurie lady got put behind bars. Who the fuck puts fentanyl in Weed? Elliot: a plug who can’t find enough junkies to buy their fentanyl. That’s why I always sniff my weed before I smoke it. Jules: and that sniff put you in a wheelchair, so who’s god now? Elliot: mmmm, still me. I live close enough to the school that I don’t have to pay for a van, and I have a hot chick with a huge dick as a nurse. Not to mention loads of settlement money from suing the biggest plug in our area and a med card with all the unlaced weed I can smoke. I’m up as fuck. Jules: or too high to be traumatized Elliot: And (dances her around his chair like a waltz until she falls in his lap) my dick still works. Jules: nice try Romeo, but your ego is showing (zips up his pants and continues pushing) Elliot: fuck, has it been like that all day? That’s embarrassing Jules: no more embarrassing than the whole school thinking you’re in a wheelchair because you couldn’t hold your oxys Elliot: it was Percs actually, thank you very much. And fuck what those bots think, I’ve been sober since that intervention. I guess you can say Rue knocked some sense into Me. Jules: (avoiding the topic of rue) did you see the comments on our last post, they called us percinstein and the coke bride Elliot: damn I guess they did know it was Percs (Now on his front porch)
Jules: (standing in front of him looking in his eyes with sentiment ) Elliot I’m serious. I’ve been the topic of conversation ever since I moved to this fucking town. I just want to have a normal year for once in my complicated life. Elliot: babe listen it’s high school. Everything is the topic of conversation and no one is normal. People talk shit because they’re bored and have no personality or sense of self outside of the useless drama they can create in their minds. But you have a life, and a future. You have an amazing, sober boyfriend who loves you and a portfolio that can get you into any art school in the world. You’re at the last step before your real life begins. I’m just happy that I have the privilege to watch. And you know I like to watch. Jules: you’re a lunatic. Elliot: I love you. Jules: I love you too. kiss
Elliot: Are you sure you can’t stay tonight Jules: I wish, but my dad is serious about making sure I get into the best school, which means spending hours look at boring virtual tours and applying early admission. Elliot: ok well I’ll be here figuring out how to pee without standing up Jules: how do our conversations always center back to your dick Elliot: I can’t talk about anything else, it’s too hard Jules: wow, you sound like my dad and I’m turned off [starts walking away] Elliot: it’s not me it’s the weed. now you make sure you make it home safe. There’s a shooter on the loose. Jules: [grabbing her bike] the gun wasn’t even loaded. besides, getting shot would not be the worst thing to happen to me. Elliot: you’re American. It always gets worse. Jules: [riding off] that’s depressing Elliot: text me when you’re home Jules: [almost gone] you have my location! Elliot: [to himself] and I still never know where you are

Gender: Trust me, I would love to have the satisfaction of saying that my gender identity was easy to decipher, but it very much isn't. When I was a very small child, maybe around six or seven years old, I was playing with my toys, and then out of nowhere I got the super strong feeling that I was born in the wrong body, that when I was born, God had put me in a female body when he should’ve actually put me in a male body. I had always understood boys more than I understood girls; I believed myself to be an oy, but after I told my mother this feeling, we got into a one-sided heated argument with my mother. I decided to just identify as a tomboy, since her saying I was born a girl, so that's what I was, didn't change how I feel. When I was in sixth grade, I didn’t necessarily feel like a boy or a girl; I just felt super gender neutral, like I wasn’t anything at all; I was just a person, but at the beginning of high school, I began to feel super masculinely aligned again. As time went on, I felt a lot more genders; sometimes I feel like a man; sometimes I feel like a woman; sometimes I feel gender neutral; sometimes I feel completely genderless; and for a long time, I identified as genderfluid, but for the last three weeks, my gender has been suspiciously absent, and it’s actually starting to stress me out. Most of the time I feel masculine and gender neutral at the same time; sometimes I feel genderless but also feminine, but now I just feel absolutely nothing at all.
Sexuality: I forced myself to be attracted to people because I thought that's what I was supposed to do because all the other kids my age were being in love; I just became really good friends with my 'crushes' and never wanted to kiss, hold hands, or do more than just hang out; I never thought any of my classmates were attractive; if society deems someone attractive, then so do I; I never realize people are genuinely drawn to people they think are attractive and want to DO things with them; I think romance is gross when I see it IRL or between live-action people and think it should just stay in books or non-live-action media. I just think people of any gender presentation look pretty. Growing up, I developed a 'crush' on anyone who was nice to me; I had a crush on ALL my friends and just wanted to hang out with them a lot; I got super uncomfortable and my attraction faded when we became 'intimate' with me like holding hands or wanting to date; and I feel this towards ALL genders, so I thought I was pan. But inside my head is the only place I feel sexual and romantic attraction, and it's only between non-live action characters and is always experienced from a 3rd-person perspective. Love and sex are just a storyline to me; I feel the romantic and sexual emotions of the character I'm telling the story's perspective from, but once the storyline ends, so does my attraction. I have a libido; I still experience personal desires, but I find that they can be managed easily on my own. I feel very repulsed by the idea of having sex with someone else. But, when I do get aroused, it's sexual attraction to anyone of any gender, but again, it's viewed from the 3rd-person perspective. After the solo mumbo jumbo, the arousal and sexual attraction fade into nothing; I even get repulsed by sex and romance for a long while after solo spicy adventures. I genuinely don't understand how somebody looks at someone else and wants to touch them, kiss them, and have sex with them. It's always been "Oh, they're pretty!"; it's never been "Oh, they're pretty; I want to date/have sex with them!". When I was a kid, I was a hopeless romantic; I wanted to find my soulmate, but the way of doing that was unrealistic. It was more like a remix of a Disney movie rather than something I actually wanted. I saw other kids my age have crushes, and adults always asked me if I was going to get a boyfriend, so I always thought it was something I was supposed to want, but I don't. I'm fine with being single forever. I'm happy this way, but I also don't want to do anything with anyone, so I feel as though I'm somehow on both the a-spec and m-spec. I’m not sure how exactly. All I know is that I consider both men and women attractive, but I don’t necessarily care about their gender identity when it comes to finding them attractive or not. I honestly can't understand how someone wants to do romantic or sexual things with another person. I dated this one guy in my freshman year, and it only lasted a week, and I avoided him like the plague the whole time. I felt all mushy and blushy when we talked and did things together, but once we started dating, I got super uncomfortable. We texted, and I was a huge flirt, saying we could hold hands and all that stuff , but when I went to school and he wanted to hold hands, I didn't want that. I didn't like being touched in a romantic way. I'm fine with my friends, though. What's confusing is that, at the same time as never wanting or feeling romantic attraction, I still want to do those things. I literally only feel romantic and sexual attraction to fictional characters. Because I am attracted to [female OC] and [male OC] (currently speaking, not speaking about past fictional crushes). I always have the strongest desire to be with [female OC], touch her, kiss her, and do other things, but I don't feel those things in the real world. She is literally my soulmate. Yes, romance and sex are still just a storyline to me, but I would say that I am in love with her. And sometimes the same can be said for [male OC]. There are some moments where I, Rowan, will get blushy and just smitten over him, but again, it's never in the real world. Would this even be considered a romantic or sexual attraction? I think it would. It's very rare when I feel something for real-world people, but it's always on the a-spectrum, like cupioromantic or grey-, for example. The reason I think I have a gender preference is because my entire life I have only been introduced to boys and girls, and the only queer people that I see are online, and all of them are attractive regardless of their gender, but again, that’s only online. How do I know if I actually feel that in the real world? How do I know if this is even a romantic attraction or just an aesthetic attraction? @DannyPhantomexe and @_augustskyz_ are both hot as heck, and just seeing them on my For You page gets me giddy. I honestly don’t know how to explain this part (m-spec) any better. I was brought up in a ultra-conservative Christian family and community, so I’ve only ever been introduced to gender men and women, so I’ve only ever been attracted to men and women, but when I am online, I find everybody attractive, regardless of what their gender is. If they have an objectively pretty appearance, then I think they are pretty. Growing up, obviously, I was attracted to men, because that’s all I ever grew up thinking was OK, but I just remember seeing girls on TV and thinking that they were so pretty, wanting to hold hands with them, and wanting to snuggle and cuddle with them. but I just thought that meant I just wanted to be really good friends with them and wasn’t anything romantic. But knowing about the queer community nowadays, I would technically consider that romantic. Any ideas as to what this would be?
— Rowan (they/he)

Please search any of the following mods on Nexus Mods - Fallout: New Vegas:
Working on the Chain Gang ESM-74958-2-1-1667158496"
WRP - Hotfix-38285-2-2-5-1590168045"
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Ok, long story short....rental house in San Diego, California, so we are under SDG&E and rates are very high. Minimum electric and gas bill is $380 per month, even with no one home. Max bill is about $1100 during the summer with the AC on (set at 78 degrees). I know something is wrong, but after years of trying to find out what, I still don't have the answer. I even called SDGE a couple times, and even they were amazed that the bills were so high. Landlord says these bills are 'normal', but neighbors say theirs are not that high ever.
So I bought an ammeter to try and find high current circuits and rooms. However, the installation in the electrical box is very tight and I cannot get the ammeter clamp around the hot wires to test. Is there a good ammeter anyone can recommend to be able to get into the tight spots so I can finally try to narrow down where all this power is going?
Note: no pool, no electric vehicles, can't do solar without installing in the yard and paying for it myself (landlord won't allow a roof install), TV hardly ever on, lights are mostly LED in the house.

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

I saw a news story talking about how, after all the winds in Texas, some people are going to be without AC for potentially weeks as they approach 90 degree heat.
Made me think about how at Buckingham, in VA, every day was a struggle to stay cool between June and September, and how every morning you'd wake up in a puddle of sweat.
One night I seriously thought I was going to die, because I woke up at 2am and the air was so hot and stagnant I couldn't breathe.
We had a mobile mistefan in the pod, and some idiot filled it with water thinking that it would cool us off better. All it did was jack up the humidity.
Then you get home and tell these stories, and the general reaction is "yep, that's prison. It sucks."
I've read a lot of stories on here about how some of you guys sometimes dealt with hazardous heat conditions at best, and goddamn inhumane conditions at worst. Yet except for the occasional news article when someone dies, something this serious doesn't really get much traction in the outside world. State governments are so concerned with the idea of "punishment, punishment, punishment" that in some cases they refuse to fix this issue.
Dunno where I'm going with this, but I'd love to hear some of your stories. Or hell, maybe some ways y'alls state DOC's actually fixed things. All VA did was provide free 8" fans for "qualifying" elderly inmates.

Will offer multiple games if needed. Games with * means very positive games, worth a look.
Beacon Pines
There Is No Light
Children of Silentown
Oaken
Snowtopia
Autonauts vs Piratebots
Deceive Inc.
Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
Hot Brass
Arcade Paradise
Tin Can
Agent in Depth
Alchemist's Castle
Among Us
Armello
Army Men RTS
Assault Suit Leynos
Backbone
Battlecruisers
Blade Assault
Blood And Zombies
Brawlout
Builder Simulator
Cats in Time
Chicka Wars Chicken Meat
CivCity: Rome
Click and Slay
Concept Destruction
Corridor Z
Cosmonautica
Crayon Physics Deluxe
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dead Age
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death Squared
Demon Turf
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Double Cross
Doughlings: Arcade
Doughlings: Invasion
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Due Process
El Hijo
Eldest Souls
Emily is Away <3
Encased
Epic Chef
ETERNAL THREADS
Farming Simulator 17
Firegirl: Hack 'n Splash Rescue
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling to the Finish
Forged Battalion
Fortissimo FA INTL Ver
Founders' Fortune
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
GameGuru Classic
Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
Gloria Victis
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Going Under
Golf Gang*
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload*
Guns & Fishes
Guts and Glory
Hack 'n' Slash + Soundtrack (& Spacebase GIFT)
Halcyon 6: Lightspeed Edition
Heart Fragment - Book Two: Belief Fragments (Shannon & Lana)
Hellbound
HERO'S HOUR
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hokko Life
Honey, I Joined a Cult
Hyper Gunsport
I’m not a Monster
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Iron Danger
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Joggernauts
JYDGE
Killsquad
Kraken Academy!!
Labirinto 2
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Let Them Come*
Little Orpheus
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Maid of Sker
Mainlining
MEEPLE STATION
Meow Express
Merchant of the Skies
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moon Hunters
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
NecroWorm
NeuroVoider
Neverinth
Neverout
Non-Stop Raiders
Of Orcs And Men
Orbital Racer
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Outward - The Soroboreans DLC
Override
Overture
Ozymandias
Partial Control
Pathfinders: Memories
Pathway
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
PGA TOUR 2K21 (may keep)
Pilgrims
Pill Baby
Pixplode
Planet TD
PlataGO!
PowerBeatsVR
Project Chemistry
Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
Propagation VR - Co-op
Pumped BMX +
Quadrata
Radio Commander
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Rebel Galaxy
Rebound Dodgeball Evolved
Re-Legion
Remnants of Naezith
Resident Evil Revelations (may keep)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony
RIOT - Civil Unrest
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
ROGUE LORDS
RPG Maker VX
Rym 9000
Sakura Alien
Sakura Knight
Sakura Knight 2
Sakura Knight 3
Sakura MMO
Sakura MMO 2
Sakura MMO 3
Sakura MMO Extra
Sakura Succubus
Sakura Succubus 2
Sakura Succubus 3
Sakura Succubus 4
Sakura Succubus 5
Sakura Succubus 6
Sakura Swim Club
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shady Part of Me
Shing!
Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
Slinger VR
Smile For Me
Sorcerer King: Rivals
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Space Crew: Legendary Edition
Spellcaster University
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Stacking
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Strider*
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sunlight
Super Chicken Catchers
Super Magbot
Surviving the Aftermath (may keep)
Sword Legacy Omen
SYMMETRY
TaniNani
Telefrag VR
The Amazing American Circus
The Beast Inside
The Deed II
The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR
The Invisible Hand
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante (may keep)
The Serpent Rogue
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tools Up!
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
Traffic Jams
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Underland: The Climb
UnMetal*
Vanishing Realms
War for the Overworld
WARSAW
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
White Noise 2
Worms Rumble
WRC 7
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
XCOM 2
X-COM: Complete Pack (including X-COM: UFO Defense + X-COM: Apocalypse + X-COM: Enforcer + X-COM: Interceptor + X-COM: Terror from the Deep)
XEL
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (including X-Morph: Defense + X-Morph: Defense - European Assault + X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest + X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion)
V: Rings of Saturn
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Spirit Of The Island
Lords and Villeins
A Juggler's Tale
Mr. Prepper
Mad Max
MORTAL KOMBAT XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman™: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham Origins
Katamari Damacy REROLL (May keep)
PAC-MAN MUSEUM+
The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes (May keep, only good offers)
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Spirit Of The Island
Lords and Villeins
A Juggler's Tale
Mr. Prepper
Beacon Pines
There Is No Light
Children of Silentown
Oaken
Snowtopia
Metal: Hellsinger (May keep, only good offers)
Non-STEAM
DOOM 64 (Bethesda.net)
Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (ORIGIN key)
Liberated (GOG key)
STAR WARS: Squadrons (Origin)
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Software
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
Music Maker EDM Edition
Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
Polygon Farm, Polygon City, and Polygon Prototype
GameDev.tv
Complete Unity 3D Developer
Zenva Academy
Intro to Game Development with Unity
Region is NA
My REPs: 202 successful trades, 0 dispute.

Will offer multiple games if needed. Games with * means very positive games, worth a look.
Beacon Pines
There Is No Light
Children of Silentown
Oaken
Snowtopia
Autonauts vs Piratebots
Deceive Inc.
Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
Hot Brass
Arcade Paradise
Tin Can
Agent in Depth
Alchemist's Castle
Among Us
Armello
Army Men RTS
Assault Suit Leynos
Backbone
Battlecruisers
Blade Assault
Blood And Zombies
Brawlout
Builder Simulator
Cats in Time
Chicka Wars Chicken Meat
CivCity: Rome
Click and Slay
Concept Destruction
Corridor Z
Cosmonautica
Crayon Physics Deluxe
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dead Age
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death Squared
Demon Turf
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Double Cross
Doughlings: Arcade
Doughlings: Invasion
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Due Process
El Hijo
Eldest Souls
Emily is Away <3
Encased
Epic Chef
ETERNAL THREADS
Farming Simulator 17
Firegirl: Hack 'n Splash Rescue
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling to the Finish
Forged Battalion
Fortissimo FA INTL Ver
Founders' Fortune
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
GameGuru Classic
Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
Gloria Victis
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Going Under
Golf Gang*
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload*
Guns & Fishes
Guts and Glory
Hack 'n' Slash + Soundtrack (& Spacebase GIFT)
Halcyon 6: Lightspeed Edition
Heart Fragment - Book Two: Belief Fragments (Shannon & Lana)
Hellbound
HERO'S HOUR
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hokko Life
Honey, I Joined a Cult
Hyper Gunsport
I’m not a Monster
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Iron Danger
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Joggernauts
JYDGE
Killsquad
Kraken Academy!!
Labirinto 2
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Let Them Come*
Little Orpheus
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Maid of Sker
Mainlining
MEEPLE STATION
Meow Express
Merchant of the Skies
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moon Hunters
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
NecroWorm
NeuroVoider
Neverinth
Neverout
Non-Stop Raiders
Of Orcs And Men
Orbital Racer
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Outward - The Soroboreans DLC
Override
Overture
Ozymandias
Partial Control
Pathfinders: Memories
Pathway
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
PGA TOUR 2K21 (may keep)
Pilgrims
Pill Baby
Pixplode
Planet TD
PlataGO!
PowerBeatsVR
Project Chemistry
Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
Propagation VR - Co-op
Pumped BMX +
Quadrata
Radio Commander
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Rebel Galaxy
Rebound Dodgeball Evolved
Re-Legion
Remnants of Naezith
Resident Evil Revelations (may keep)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony
RIOT - Civil Unrest
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
ROGUE LORDS
RPG Maker VX
Rym 9000
Sakura Alien
Sakura Knight
Sakura Knight 2
Sakura Knight 3
Sakura MMO
Sakura MMO 2
Sakura MMO 3
Sakura MMO Extra
Sakura Succubus
Sakura Succubus 2
Sakura Succubus 3
Sakura Succubus 4
Sakura Succubus 5
Sakura Succubus 6
Sakura Swim Club
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shady Part of Me
Shing!
Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
Slinger VR
Smile For Me
Sorcerer King: Rivals
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Space Crew: Legendary Edition
Spellcaster University
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Stacking
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Strider*
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sunlight
Super Chicken Catchers
Super Magbot
Surviving the Aftermath (may keep)
Sword Legacy Omen
SYMMETRY
TaniNani
Telefrag VR
The Amazing American Circus
The Beast Inside
The Deed II
The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR
The Invisible Hand
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante (may keep)
The Serpent Rogue
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tools Up!
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
Traffic Jams
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Underland: The Climb
UnMetal*
Vanishing Realms
War for the Overworld
WARSAW
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
White Noise 2
Worms Rumble
WRC 7
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
XCOM 2
X-COM: Complete Pack (including X-COM: UFO Defense + X-COM: Apocalypse + X-COM: Enforcer + X-COM: Interceptor + X-COM: Terror from the Deep)
XEL
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (including X-Morph: Defense + X-Morph: Defense - European Assault + X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest + X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion)
V: Rings of Saturn
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Spirit Of The Island
Lords and Villeins
A Juggler's Tale
Mr. Prepper
Mad Max
MORTAL KOMBAT XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman™: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham Origins
Katamari Damacy REROLL (May keep)
PAC-MAN MUSEUM+
The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes (May keep, only good offers)
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Spirit Of The Island
Lords and Villeins
A Juggler's Tale
Mr. Prepper
Beacon Pines
There Is No Light
Children of Silentown
Oaken
Snowtopia
Metal: Hellsinger (May keep, only good offers)
Non-STEAM
DOOM 64 (Bethesda.net)
Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (ORIGIN key)
Liberated (GOG key)
STAR WARS: Squadrons (Origin)
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Software
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
Music Maker EDM Edition
Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
Polygon Farm, Polygon City, and Polygon Prototype
GameDev.tv
Complete Unity 3D Developer
Zenva Academy
Intro to Game Development with Unity
Region is NA
My REPs: 202 successful trades, 0 dispute.

I know Jesus is your best friend now. Love is surrounding you in a way I will never comprehend until I am there with you ❤️ I'm still down here though, I'm living & learning without you ❤️ I went to a restaurant with a patio today. I know those were your favorite.. especially at nighttime ~ super brownie points if there was a fire to sit next to. 🩵 I experienced the trigger of a life time. I sat there as it began happening and had to distract myself to keep from crying. The sky was beautiful. 🧡 The air felt blissful. It breaks my heart.. The darkness of life took you away from me & I had to watch you struggle to climb out of that darkness. 🙏🏼 Alcohol took your life away & when you would be able to defeat it & the real you, the man I married, the husband who loves me more than anything on this earth was able to be the one doing the talking and walking... Those moments were everything. I wish you didn't have to fight that fight. 🌷 Even you didn't want to do the things you did, but whatever was inside of you was out to get me and you. 💚 I am thankful before God called you to be looking down on me from above instead of into my eyes by my side that you found Him again. 🧡 Your heart was where it was supposed to be my love 💕 & I hope you're getting the most amazing moments with your dad, I know you missed him more than anything. 🩷 I remembered at the restaurant today when everything went white at that bar and I had what I could only guess was an anxiety attack. I wasn't drinking, but I told you I was scared and I felt like I was going to fall. My body got hot & I got weak and dizzy & you pulled me on top of you & kept running your fingers through my hair until I could see again. You told me I am okay, you had me, you would never let anything happen to me, and how much you loved me & how beautiful I am.. until I could see again and my strength came back. 🥹 I miss you & I'll always love you.. 💞. I know alcohol was a demon and it always was, but I always picked you. No matter what. I hope you got to see the story of your life and got to see how much I loved you. How you were the only one. I've got a lot I've had to heal from and there are some small remnants left but none of my story would have been successful without you. The good and the bad. 🧡 I love you.. yes I am still your noodle ~ Disney princess ~ snow white 🥰 I was so lucky to have been able to love you and be loved by you. Please tell Jesus I love Him so He hears it from you too. 💚

Someone’s got to know…

New Stuff Added
Trying to get rid of some manga. condition varies some brand new, some very used and are priced accordingly.
Open to offers.
Shipping not including. if you buy enough then I will pay for shipping.
Tried to price things best I could if you believe pricing isn't fair and you're interested we can work something out.
Signed Funko! at the bottom.
Thanks for looking!
Photo Link: Image/Proof
Manga Lots 3+ Volumes:
A, A tropical fish yearns for snow vol 1-3 15$
B, Bloody Mary vol 1-4,6 30$
Bride of the water god vol 1-9 90$
C, Chainsaw Man BAM Box set vol 1-4 (With Poster) 20$
D,
E,
F,
G,
H, Hi score girl vol 1-8 50$
I,
J,
K, Kare kano vol 8,11-14 25$
L,,
M, Mashle vol 1-3 15$
N, Naruto Vol 8-10,12-13,26-28,39,41-43,50 (13 Volumes Total) 45$
O,
P,
Q,
R,
S, Shaman King Singles Vol 1,2,2,3,3,5,7,7,8,8,12 6$ Each

Saint young men HC vol 1-3 36$ 

T, Testarotho vol 1-4 Complete 30$
The Saviors book Cafe story in another world vol 1-5 Complete 45$
U,

Uzumaki Junji ito singles vol 1-3 (Complete) 50$ (Check condition) 

V,
W,
X,
Y,
Z.
Manga Lots with 1-2 Volumes:
A,
A distant Neighborhood Singles vol 1-2 Complete 20$
B,
Beast Complex Vol 1 7$
Blue Period vol 1-2 15$
C,
Citrus vol 1,6 15$
Code Geass vol 1 15$
Captain Harlock vol 2 HC 10$
20th Century Boys Singles vol 2 10$
D,
Dragon Head vol 7 20$
Dragon Ball Z vol 7 4$
Drrr!! Vol 1 7$
E,
F,
Full Metal Panic! Vol 1 8$
Firefighter daigo vol 4 15$
G,
Golden Kamuy vol 1 8$
H,
Happy Mania vol 1 15$
Hells Paradise vol 1 8$
Hi Score Girl Vol 1 6$
I,
Inside Mari vol 9 8$
Iron wok jan! Vol 4 12$
J,
Jujutsu Kaisen vol 1 (Spine Miss Print) 3$
Jing:King of bandits vol 7 3$
K,
Kamisama Kiss vol 7 8$
Kaiju NO.8 Vol 1 8$
Kodocha Vol 5 9$
Knights of sidonia singles vol 4 10$
King of cards vol 4 10$
L,
Look Back vol 1 8$
Lupin 3 Singles Vol 1 12$
M,
Mashima Heros 7$
My Hero academia smash vol 1 5$
N,
Naruto the Official fanbook 6$
Naruto Forever The unofficial Guide 6$
Naruto Full Color Movie Manga 6$ each
Nightmare inspector vol 4 4$
No man's land vol 1-2 Complete 10$
O,
One Piece Gold Foil vol 4 12$
Oh my goddess vol 31 8$
Oh my goddess vol 19,19,19,19 20$ Each
P,
Prison school Vol 14 13$
Phantom Tales of the night vol 1 8$
Q,
R,
Records of Ragnorok vol 1 8$
S,
Sayonara Football Volume 1 8$
Solo Leveling Vol 1-2 26$
sweetness and lightning volume 1 7$
Scums Wish Vol 1 18$
Sweat and Soap vol 1-2 14$
Steins Gate Vol 1 Loot Crate Exclusive 20$
Stellvia vol 1-2 10$
Shortcake cake vol 1 6$
Shaman king omnibus vol 1 10$
Saiyuki vol 1 HC 12$
T,
Testament of sister new devil vol 1 30$
The Last Uniform Vol 1 10$
Tokyo Knights vol 1 3$
Tokyo tribes vol 3 6$
U,
V,
Vampire Hunter D Vol 2 7$
W,
Wotakoi B&N Exclusive vol 1 10$
X,
Xo Genasys vol 1 6$
Y,
Yowamushi Pedal Loot Crate Exclusive Vol 1 10$
Yakitate!! Vol 6 4$
Yona of the dawn vol 1,34 12$
Z.



Manga Light Novels:
A,
B,
C,
D,
E,
F,
G,
Goblin Slayer LN Vol 1 7$
H,
I,
J,
K,
L,
M,
My Youth Romantic Comedy Is WRONG as I expected Ln Vol 1-2 15$
Monster Girl Doctor Ln Vol 1 6$
N,
Naruto Mission protect the waterfall village! Ln 6$
Naruto Innocent Heart,Demonic Blood Ln 6$
No Game No life LN vol 1 7$
O,
P,
Q,
R,
Re: Zero Ln Vol 1 7$
S,
Spice&Wolf Ln vol 1-14 120$
T,
The Alchemist Who Survived Now Dreams Of Quiet City Life Ln Vol 1-2 15$
The Saga of the tanya of evil Ln Vol 1 8$
The Saga of the tanya of evil Ln Vol 1 8$
Toradora Ln Vol 1 8$
The twelve kingdoms Ln 7$

U,
V,
Vampire Hunter D LN vol 2 10$
W,
X,
Y,
Z.
Signed Funko!
Jiraiya On Toad Hot Topic Exclusive Signed By David Lodge (Long Quote) PSA Cert #73 200$
Ahsoka Amazon Exclusive Signed by Rosario Dawson JSA Cert #467 300$
Demon slayer funko pops 6 total (2 not signed) 290$
Photo: Images/Proof

As a kid I remember watching my cousin play through Sly 1 at his house, but never having the opportunity to play the games myself (we were a Nintendo house until we got a PS4). These past few weeks though I was able to finally play all four games through PS5 emulations (brave, I know. Dealt with a lot of streaming hiccups but I powered through!) and I just wanted to give my thoughts on each game as a new-ish fan of the series.
SLY 1
Highlights:

• The platforming levels are amazing as well as the atmosphere of each level
• The soundtrack is also very good (I think Mesa City has my favorite tracks)
• I actually like the levels where you get to drive the van/use the hovercraft (I'm honestly surprised future games didn't let you drive the van)

Low Points:

• I really don't like Bentley in this first game. He's kinda obnoxious here tbh (and his hacking mini-game at the end sucks)
• The boss fights aren't the greatest. Mz. Ruby would be fun if the music wasn't desynced, Panda King is a joke, Mugshot wasn't fun, and Clockwerk is okay but they needed to add a checkpoint at the end or something because I did not want to have to do that boss like 10 times before I beat him
• I HATE the one-hit life system. It's why I can't play Crash Bandicoot, it genuinely is not fun to me

SLY 2
Highlights:

• Getting to play as the entire gang is fun
• The open-world/mission structure is a lot better than the first game's design
• Probably the most consistent story of the four games

Low Points:

• Any section where I have to use a turret sucks. The final boss took me over an hour and I genuinely despise it, despite the story payoff.
• I didn't care much for Neyla tbh. Her just becoming Clockwerk at the end wasn't very interesting.
• THE. FREAKING. WATER. BUG. MISSION. That's all I have to say.

Sly 3
Highlights:

• Having this game basically be an Ocean's Eleven heist is a cool concept to follow up on the story of the second game
• The airplane and pirate ship are both surprisingly fun to use
• The Cooper Vault gauntlet is hands-down the peak of platforming in this series

Low Points:

• This might be the weakest story imo. None of the villains connect to each other, and Dr. M should have been built up to more instead of him just dumping his backstory on you at the end of the game
• Screw the dragon boss fight in the China level. That was not a fun experience at all
• There are too many mini-game sections here for my liking and not enough pure Sly gameplay compared to the other games.

SLY 4
Highlights:

• This is my favorite game in terms of visuals and music. It looks like a Saturday morning cartoon come to life and I love it
• The gameplay is also very fun, with everyone being fun to control and unique environments for each time period you visit. It's the only game I actually went out of my way to get all of the treasures in, that's how fun it was for me to play and run around the open worlds
• I like getting to meet the Cooper ancestors and how the villains are all tied together like the Klaww Gang was in Sly 2

Low Points:

• Motion controls on a PlayStation controller are not fun to use, so screw that ball hacking mini-game
• I like that everyone has a wheel of gadgets/costumes to switch between, but the mechanic to switch between them is too clunky for my taste. Loading in general is an issue (even if the PS5 mitigated that somewhat)
• The ending gauntlet level is amazing, but the final boss could have been more than just some QTEs (especially since Le Paradox being an evil foil to Sly was pretty cool in concept) and I will be forever salty that Sony didn't let the devs make Sly 5 or at least wrap up the story with DLC because that cliffhanger is a mean one to leave the series on

So overall, if I had to rank the games from best to worst, I think I'd put them as:
Sly 2, Sly 4, Sly 1, Sly 3
I've heard it's a "hot take" to enjoy Sly 4, but I honestly had a lot of fun with the game as much as Sly 2. The real TL;DR of this is that I'm now officially a fan of the Sly Cooper series, and Sony seriously needs to give us a new game already!

Quick summary: yes, it's cheap but heart and talent seemingly come cheap. My full review v
I've heard plenty about this non-equity Shrek tour, albeit AFTER I bought tickets because I saw the advertisement in my theater. I thought about getting a refund in the weeks before the show but in every review, I heard praise for the cast. Also, I've loved this musical for a while so I decided to take a risk and went today.
It was WELL worth it :D
To address the dragon in the room, yes, it's clear the budget wasn't high. If nothing else I say will convince you to try this show at the prices they're asking, you won't hurt my feelings finding another thread. I'll be clear that I hate that the cast and crew don't get pay much in a non-equity performance.
That said, the art direction was nice. I consider it akin to the 1st Toy Story, where the CGI is dated but the art direction still makes it nice to look at (not to mention the story and acting ;) ). There wasn't much in sets but what was there were nice, storybook-like structures and hangings. Nothing like Broadway's but the designers did what they could and succeeded.
I won't defend the Shrek make-up. I could see the edge of the bald cap from my seat (row P, orchestra section) while I can barely see the mesh ear holes in the proshot. That said, I do like the tour Shrek's proportions better; while it looked cool, I thought Broadway covered Brian d'Arcy James in too much padding and latex to make him look like the animated Shrek. You just need a bald head and the ears; Shrek's pretty distinctive :)
On that note, if you're not going with puppetry, it's hard to depict a lot of the characters in Shrek. The Broadway costumes DO look a lost better but the tour costumes did a good job to suggest their characters. Not exactly Tony-winning or Broadway caliber but serviceable (if I had unlimited power for a Shrek revival, comparisons to The Lion King would be apt; not a complete copy of LK's style but certainly puppet heavy like it).
Really, the only bad thing I can say about the tour is that there were a few moments where a cast member's mic isn't turned on in time for a lyric/line. That was annoying, especially during adult Fiona's big intro in "I Know It's Today." Otherwise, there were only a few moments where the mixing was off but it was overall good (and I don't think my theater has the best acoustics).
Now for the unabashedly good :D
The cast was phenomenal. If they agreed with this subreddit that the production was cheap, they didn't let that affect their performance (or it did and they worked harder to compensate). In particular, Nicholas Hambruch, Cecily Dionne Davis, and Naphtali Yaakov Curry as the main trio (Shrek, Fiona, & Donkey respectively) were excellent and up there with both their Broadway and animated counterparts (and the 1st tour that came years ago to the same theater, even if I don't remember their names). Everyone else was excellent. They sang, danced, and acted to the T and deserved every applause and laugh they got. I can't say enough.
Music was good. The six-person band did the show good (not sure if there were prerecorded tracks to make the music fuller). I didn't re-listen to the cast album as I like going to shows as fresh as I can so I can't judge between Broadway and tour arrangements but the tour did the score good.
It's also fun to see how the show evolved from the original version and proshot.
To those use "woke" the same way most people use "f", "s", or "autotune", the changes would drive them crazy. Quite frankly, the changes fit the show and does not hurt it. Heck, you'd only notice them if you're familiar with the proshot and cast album.
The most noticeable is that Farquaad is no longer short and the short jokes are gone. Turns out, Farquaad is still a campy, prima donna that's a hilarious parody of a typical dashing, brave prince. We lose his second song in favor of a brief reprise of "What's Up, Duloc" and his back story that's revealed there. I do miss it and the depth it gave him (even if it turned out to be bull-squirt at the end) but the show isn't really hurt by it.
Also, some songs have preludes with the ensemble acting as narrators/Greek chorus (I enjoy the fact that Shrek is the type of franchise where I have to clarify that I don't mean LITERALLY a Greek chorus :D). Doesn't really add much to the show but not bad changes. Them holding scenic elements does make some moments funnier, particularly the forest animals in "Morning Person" and flowers in "I Think I Got You Beat." The puppets used for the kid versions of Shrek and Fiona were pretty good too (and understandable if they're keeping costs down).
There's 2 lyric changes that I noticed (might be more but I'm not remembering) that were just as good as the original and only stood out because I've heard the cast album so many times. One is that the wolf is not called a hot & tranny mess but now mocked for his fashion sense dressing like a grandma. The other (I remember) is Shrek no longer calls Fiona fat during "When Words Fail" but gets flustered mentioning love. Like I said, more inclusive yet still keeping in spirit with the show.
A major change that I ADORE, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, is Shrek's participation in the "Freak Flag." Broadway's Shrek-less version isn't bad and I do miss "Build A Wall" but Shrek being a part of it means he gets to share in the fairytale creatures' epiphany of accepting yourself. Granted, the subtle approach of the film and Broadway production worked just as well but, if you're gonna make a big showstopper song out of the moral, it works really well including the main character.
We do lose "Don't Let Me Go" and "This Is How A Dream Comes True." It IS a little disappointing but, in fairness, I didn't realize until writing this review that "Don't Let Me Go" was missing and the reprise of "I Know It's Today" isn't a bad replacement (although I do wish "This Is How A Dream Comes True" was kept).
Also no "I'm A Believer" but, again, the tour's budget likely precluded it (being a song not written for the show and only ever used after the curtain call).
In summary, no, I can't defend paying normal tour prices for the less than Broadway/high school production value. However, if you can afford it, you get a production that keeps the Broadway production's heart and humor with updates that doesn't fundamentally change the show's DNA. I know it's disappointing Shrek isn't getting the budget it deserves but this tour proves Shrek is a strong enough show to survive a low budget with good actors/singers.
That said, at least the Broadway version exists as a proshot if my review wasn't persuasive :)
(Added some pics. Im not always comfortable posting my face online so please excuse the edits to my selfies. I think they improvements :P ;). The last 2 pics are of my souvenirs; I like magnets and the pen, a floating pen starring Donkey is cute :D)

TL;DR: PLEASE READ THE LN!!!
I've always had an obsession over manhwa and manga (especially OI), and I was especially intrigued because how polarizing people's opinions were on it. I love my fair share of angst and trauma porn and toxicity, and although I dig through all the webtoon and manga trash out there, even I have lines I don't cross/tolerate, and series I drop. Especially with abusive/toxic couples, shit story, lack of development, lack of realism, lack of respect, misogyny, repetitive tropes, etc. But I always give everything a try (even trashy sexist smuts or Chinese manhuas)
But please I IMPLORE you: give the light novel of [My Beloved Oppressor] a read. The manhwa is great and beautiful, but doesn't do the story as much justice with how many details and emotional nuances that are left out. It's so rushed too.
I just finished and I am clutching my pears, biting my fist, sobbing my eyes out, and screaming.
I came for toxic hot trash and irredeemable black haired MLs and timid FLs to rag on, but actually got pretty hooked and teary from these 20 manhwa chapters. I saw on this reddit a great free place to read quality translations at: https://www.patreon.com/collection/188783?view=expanded
I do not ever read LNs for even my top-tier SSS class manhwas, but I had an unusual pull into these characters' lives and story. And thus I began to spiral with these characters.
To avoid spoilers, I wasn't expecting the development of the story, and I truly felt like I was going through the same life-changing rollercoaster as the characters. Not just the FL and ML but the world, setting, side characters, etc. the story is well thought out, detailed, BEAUTIFULLY written and expressed, and I literally felt like I was being sucker punched at some parts I was almost nauseous and disoriented. I could clearly picture scenes with such an artistic vivid imagination and suffered to many emotions throughout the reading.
My tissues are soaked with hot tears, and yet at the end I feel so unbelievably hurt and yet whole from the entire LN. The side stories and ending seriously felt so complete, and I felt there weren't any loose ends besides maybe some parts of the MLs past and whatnot, but I never said this series was perfect. I am very satisfied after, although I feel so impacted.
But they felt like fleshed out characters that I can't bring myself to love or hate, and I just want them find peace and happiness. I love how the FLs draws her line and doesn't just come running back to the ML when he's all ghastly and begging forgiveness. And he honestly doesn't do too much annoying begging and obsessing. He does try his best to separate them and to just love her from the shadows and be respectful of her wishes, although he's horrified of the thought of her killing herself while out. Even if not perfectly or at first. He also doesn't just leave his duties to some poor assistant side character, or completely neglect his role as the commander. In fact, he drowns in it since he feels it's the best thing he can do for her (bring peace and end the war and make a better place for her to live). It's my pet peeve when MLs abandon their jobs/duties over their loss of the FL and the company/empire/whatever they're running suffers from his emotional outbursts and grief over her while he's got bags under his eyes and has sexy shot of him with alcohol and cigarettes lmao.
The MLs development is truly such a breath of fresh air. I can understand his fucked up mentality and obsession, his self-deprication, self-destructive nature, and inferiority, and so on. And the FL isn't some pushover smiley happy Mary Sue. She has her flaws and confronts them throughout the story, and she's not some completely innocent perfect victim either. She really grows so much and I love how she interacts with Heiner. She really recognizes how unhealthy his 'love' is until he fully recognizes his feelings and perspective.
They get dirty and scarred, fight and argue, have unbearably sweet moments that made me want to burst, and gut wrenching parts that made me have to set me phone down. The insight the LN gives to Annette and Heiner's thoughts and feelings is on a whole different level.
For the homies who already read all of the LN too: First of all, Catherine supremacy for life. They were a fleshed out family with feelings, and not some tool or stepping stone for Annette like other runaway FLs after escaping or divorce.
Can't stress enough how the story doesn't just tunnel vision on the main couple too. Side characters are part of the story and make big impacts. Even the sniper at the church who got his face mauled is who saved her life in the fire. And even Catherine (in the side stories) would give it to Heiner over the phone and he'd reflect on himself. Even the guy who ratted Annette out while she was staying with them post-divorce showed up again when he lost his legs in battle and they had a moment together.
Annette's descent into depression was depicted so realistically it hit too close to home. The memory loss, handwriting and dexterity degradation, and her reaction to the miscarriage felt too real. So often depictions can feel too cheap or shallow. I was horrified by her suicide attempts but could completely put myself in her shoes. But it just doesn't go away quickly either, she does struggle with it and taking care of herself, or having the motivation to recover or do therapy to improve her ruined left hand after the church collapse
>!But seriously, the war church fire incident and the piano was seriously immaculate. The references to the Saint mural and glimpses to the past that reminds me of how far we've come and how much of her life has changed, Joseph, and the piano-playing scene. The shaken feelings of the enemy troops and battle with morality, that moment of pure serenity, I was so absorbed. I mean the play that the piano and music had in her journey and the story too was so tasteful.
And oh my God the ending with the title meaning reveal- I seriously thought it was another shitty toxic title but it was actually the name of the song Heiner fell in love with before he met her... and the one she played that lured him in. And what a switch around because I always assumed the ML was the oppressor in question, but really it was the FL to him because how much she engulfed his life. They even address in the story how her love is spread between so many things (piano) and people, and Heiner has nothing but her.!<
It's really such a tragedy that his innocent youthful crush became such a a double edged serrated knife. So obsessive and convoluted, and he created a cult-like worship of a fictional version of her in his head >! through extreme torture... I mean that kind of disassociation was literally the only way he could survive. Plus how could someone raised the way he was understand love and how to give/receive it? !<
I'll stop rambling here for now but guys please comment or something, I have so many feelings after reading the LN I NEED to talk more about it with someone 😭

Roughly a month ago after excessive alcohol consumption I realized my hangover symptoms weren't normal.. Clammy skin, cotton in the brain, heart palpitations, and dysphagia. The last two were unique and especially the dysphagia was completely new. Every second or third word if I wasn't extremely focused would come out slurred. While at work this freaked me out, a lot. I managed to get myself together in the second half of my shift and most of my symptoms went away. I suddenly had energy again and didn't feel like I was thinking through molasses.
Fast forward over the next 4-5 weeks I would experience new symptoms, typically trailing heavy drinking days. The cotton in the brain, trouble swallowing (full-blown dysphagia hasn't happened again so far), heart palpitations and general weird body and mind feelings..
I only drink on weekends, but lately I have been putting away some serious alcohol compared to past practice. I haven't been doing this consistently for years, I typically take breaks such as observing dry January. I have no doubt my recent scare involves some alcohol withdrawal, but I believe it also lead straight into an almost 48 hour long panic or anxiety attack.
Before 5 weeks ago I considered myself someone that mostly became anxious in normal and appropriate times to do so. However, I have been reaching a substantial amount of stress lately.. Things not done, new experiences on the horizon, not following through with healthier practices, etc..
Now then onto my most recent experience, Wednesday was day 3 of heavy drinking. I think I would sum up maybe 5,000-6,000ml of 8% beer on Wednesday alone. I woke up still a little intoxicated, my fitbit clocked 5-6hrs of sleep. I proceed to work where I develop some of the previous symptoms as I sober up: Clammy skin, trouble swallowing, confusion/cotton brain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath. After I make it off-shift 10 hours later I start to feel a bit better. I make it home, and I take some recently prescribed hydroxyzine. (I visited Urgent Care a week prior for help with some of these symptoms, the doctor didn't ask nor did I volunteer my drinking habits. He was however convinced I was suffering from panic or anxiety attacks.)
After taking 25mg and trying for some much needed sleep I begin to go into an episode of fear, maybe even dread. All of my previous symptoms return including some new ones: Chills, Hot Flashes, Muscle Spasms, Restless Legs, Twitching, Insomnia. I got about 1 hour of sleep Thursday Night. Every attempt was met by jerking awake the second I entered sleep.. like having a door shut in your face. The worst symptoms showed up after my attempt at sleep. A rising feeling in my stomach like being on a rollercoaster that would travel up my body but stop around my chest area, sudden onset of intense fatigue or a wave of cotton-brain, and an uncontrollable feeling in my throat and jaw that I can't seem to describe.
These symptoms continued pretty consistently for 48 hours. I did get 3 hours of sleep on the second night. I did not go to the hospital. I decided on the third day if they persisted I would go to the ER. So far most symptoms have tapered down to become non-existent or very minimal. I do still get a smaller rising sensation in my stomach anytime I panic, such as thinking about if I'll be able to sleep tonight, etc..
I came here to tell this story but also to ask if anyone has experienced these scarier symptoms during a panic or anxiety attack. I have stopped the sauce for now, and classic Google is telling me that my symptoms can be anything from dehydration to epilepsy.
I am brand new to panic/anxiety disorders. Apologies for the long read.

I appreciate all the information I have gathered from all of you. I would like to share my story and I have a few questions. I'm 37 and I'm a male. In January this year my right ankle was bothering me. I have broken it before and had to have surgery. I work out 5-6 days a week usually being running, peloton, kettlebells, and rowing. So my ankle hurting wasn't a huge deal to me because l'm constantly over using them. But this one day in January my right ankle felt like I sprained it. I woke up the next morning and couldn't walk. The pain was horrible and it felt like my foot got hit with a sledge hammer. I knew I did not injure my ankle in a way to cause that much pain. Gout popped into my head cause my dad has it. I went to my GP doctor and got my UA tested and he gave me naproxen. I was already coming down from the worst part of the pain and took the naproxen. My ankle felt better within 24 hours and I was getting around. Life was back to normal. My UA level was 5.6 and my doctor said I didn't have gout and it must have been an injury.
Fast forward to this week. I have been back to working out regularly and doing the normal stuff I do. But over the last month now my left ankle has been bothering me. Nothing crazy but hurting while working out. I thought it was overuse again since I was told I didn't have gout. I was on the peloton Monday and was doing a hill ride. About 20 minutes into the ride my ankle started to hurt worse then it had in this past month. I woke up the next day limping a little. I didn't think much of it again. I went to go for a run and had to stop after just a few steps cause of the pain. I played football and basketball in HS and it was during a time when you just played through injuries using tape and red hot. I know this is very dumb especially since I'm 37 now. Anyway, I was woken up in the middle of the night with unbelievable pain in my left ankle. I couldn't walk and was screaming in pain. I took some naproxen I had from January and it did nothing. I fought through the day and I really thought I messed my ankle up. I got into podiatrist Thursday and my X-rays were negative. He didn't believe it was gout cause of my January bloodwork. He ordered me an MRI and got me a walking boot. He also ordered another UA lab to rule out gout. I made it to the end of the day wearing the boot and my pain got worse.I called the Docs office on Friday and told him what was going on. He looked at my chart and my UA was 6.7. He now believed it was a strong possibility of gout. He got me a script for methylprednisolone which I started this morning. I'm already noticing a difference in my ankle. I'm going for the MRI on Tuesday to rule out an injury. So I have a few questions from here.
Does gout linger around causing 1-2 levels of pain for weeks before the actual attack? Everything I read seems like it just comes out of no where.
My dad has been on gout medication for 20 years and hasn't had a flair up since going on it he says. So l'm totally ready to get on Allo or another medication. I want to make sure something like this is more unlikely to happen. So my question is what medication are kept around for flares ups and I guess you would call them full on attacks? When do I know when to start taking the medication before a flair up?
My daughter and I love hiking. We travel often and do a lot of long day hikes into the mountains and deserts. I now have a fear of this happening while on a long hike on the top of a mountain. Anyone enjoy hiking or backpacking while having gout? How do you plan for it?
Thank you any advice you can give

You guys know what an alpine coaster is? They are like a small roller coaster you find in the mountains. They are also called summer toboggans or mountain coasters and I think there’s some long German compound word they are called in parts of Europe. They are like a roller coaster, but with much smaller one or two person sleds you just sit on instead of multi-person cars you ride in, and instead of being built with like a scaffolding or a framework the tracks are just on the ground, using the elevation of the mountain. Basically it’s a coaster track on the side of a mountain where you ride a sled down.
They are pretty fun. Or at least I used to think so. They are more “personal” than roller coasters and although you get nowhere near the speed on them that you do on a good traditional roller coaster and they can’t do corkscrews or loops or anything like that the openness and simplicity of the ride gives an impression of a much greater speed. You’re just sitting there with nothing but a little plastic sled and the track between you and the ground as it goes zooming by. It’s like the difference between how fast a go-cart feels compared to how fast a sports car feels. You know the sports car goes faster but the open, simpleness of a go-cart feels a different kind of fast. There’s plenty of POV Youtube videos if you want to get the basic idea of what they are.
I used to love alpine coasters. Used to.
My family used to go to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and up and down the Smokey Mountains for vacations when I was a kid and they are common in that area and I’d always rode them every chance I got.
But as with so many things after I grew up and went to college they just became part of my childhood that slipped away. They aren’t exactly common once you get away from the mountains.
Until one cool spring afternoon in 2004. I was in my final year at college and I was driving back to campus in Tennessee after a short visit to my folks in North Carolina. It was only like a 4 or 5 hour drive via the most efficient route and I had no need to be back at campus early so instead of taking the freeway all the way I got off and took part of my trip through the mountains. The scenery was nicer and I admit I liked pushing my Camaro just a little faster than I should through the twisty mountain roads.
Just after lunchtime happened upon one of those little by-the-highway tourist towns deep somewhere in the Smoky Mountains near the Carolina/Tennessee border. Nothing fancy, a gas station/truck stop, a diner, a couple of places selling tourist merch nestled deep in the mountains. I pulled into the gas station. My tank was getting low and I needed to stretch my legs, maybe grab something to eat. It was still early and I only had another couple of hours. I could kill an hour or so and still make it back to campus at a decent hour.
I pulled into the gas station and was filling my tank when I happened to glance across the road and… well I’ll be damned. There it was. “The Blue Ridge Alpine Coaster.” Nestled on the side of the mountain was a building, a mockup of a red barn, where a single railed track that led up into the mountains, where it soon got lost in the greenery. Wooden hand painted standees of cartoon character bears dressed in stereotypical “Hillbilly” getup stood around, some of them holding signs showing the ride hours and ticket costs and other info. I had to admit, as silly as it was, it made me smile.I finished pumping my gas and, well, nostalgia is a helluva thing. I decided then and there I could waste a little time riding an Alpine Coaster again after all these years before getting back on the road.
I parked my car in a corner of the truck stop's parking lot, put my phone in the center console, this being the days before smart phones when people didn’t keep their phones with them 24/7 and I didn’t want my old Nokia brick phone to fall out during the ride, locked my car and walked across the mountain highway to the Alpine Coaster building.
Getting closer, the place was less inviting. The half hearted attempt at a whimsical faux-Americana kitsch was far less effective when it brushed up against the actual decaying, run down wooden building. Hell calling it a building was generous. It was a wood frame holding up a long roof that covered the area where you got on the sleds. The wood boards creaked under my footsteps.
The only real enclosed structure was a shack that held, what I assumed, was a ticket booth. A door on the side had both a single occupancy bathroom with an out of order sign on it. An old Pepsi machine buzzed and glowed next to it.
Still the place looked alive. Ahead of me a bored looking attendant was helping a mother and her young son into one of the sleds while in a bored monotone repeating the safety brief. A few people were waiting in line at the ticket booth. Up in the mountains the playful shouts of people on the ride echoed down. Fond memories of my own childhood rides flooded my mind.10 minutes and 15 dollars later I was settling into the hard plastic seat of a bright red sled sat atop a simple aluminum rail.
I couldn’t help but grin as the sled slowly climbed the track up the mountains, making click-clack ratcheting sounds that hit my nostalgia centers hard. I felt good. The air was cool and crisp and smelled of pine.Higher and higher in the mountains we went. I don’t know if this is my mind trying to make sense of it after the fact but when I remember these moments, the last good moments, I sometimes think I remember a very slight, very subtle pit of fear in my stomach. I honestly don’t know if I felt it at the time or not or it’s just how my mind tries to make sense of it looking back at.
But either way mostly I was enjoying myself. I smiled. I was a kid again. I could hear riders in front of me let out that initial yell of terrified glee you get at the first drop of any good ride.
It peaked. I glanced around. I could see for miles, rolling hills and mountains. I the sled tipped over and zoomed down the mountain and I let out the same happy yell I heard from the other passengers.The ride zoomed down the mountain, catching speed. The mountain forest floor zoomed past, only a few feet under me. Trees zoomed past. I gave out a happy whoop as the ride banked hard around a curve and then looped back under itself.Another dip, another curve. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the G-forces pulling me every which way.
There was no one exact single moment where things started to go “wrong.” The ride kept going. And going. At this point the first creeping thought entered my head.
The ride… was still going.
It just started to hit me… this ride was going on for a really long time. I had taken a dozen rides on various coasters of this type before that day and they topped out at about 5 minutes or so, and that was the long ones. Longer than a traditional roller coaster but not that long. This one had been going on for what felt like 10, maybe even 15 minutes.
I looked back over my shoulder and could only see trees, moving too fast to really get a bearing on where I was at in relation to anything.
I wasn't exactly really worried yet. Okay so I had found a particularly long alpine coaster. At the time I wasn’t 100% wasn't sure they didn’t exist or anything like that. I was a little… unnerved but nothing was happening that was impossible. Yet.
I was trying to talk myself back into just enjoying the ride and stop overthinking it, and halfway succeeded, when out of nowhere I suddenly banked hard, the track jutting out almost over a sheer cliffside. I gripped the sled more tightly as I was whipped around. The ride then dipped hard and picked up speed, barreling down the side of the mountain.
I was pushed back against the seat by the force of the drop. Jesus I didn’t remember them being this rough. I was feeling slightly nauseous. And where had this elevation drop come from I wondered? I was still in the foothills and I didn’t remember seeing anything but gentle rolling hills and light drops from looking at the ride’s route earlier. How the ride had managed such a long, steep drop in this area I didn’t know. . For the first time I hoped that the ride would be over soon. I had no idea then how much I would want that same hope to be true so much more as time went on.
With a whiplash motion I was whipped forward and then back as the ride leveled out on flat ground again, but by this point I was going fast, too fast. My neck hurt from the mild whiplash and I felt sour in my throat and for a moment the contents of my stomach threatened to come back up. For the first, but hardly the last time the ride felt unsafe. Alpine Coasters are tame affairs, much slower and gentler than full on roller coasters but this thing was throwing me around like no thrill ride I had ever been on.
I looked around. I mean I wasn’t that deep into the woods. I should have been able to see a glimpse of something; the highway, the gas station, the tourist shops, the Alpine Coaster office, something, anything. But nothing. Just trees.
I forced back some panic for the first time. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. The ride zoomed along. I counted to 60. I counted to 60 again. And again. Okay this was getting uncomfortably harder and harder to explain.
Suddenly I noticed that up ahead the track seemed to just end, for one brief, terrible moment I thought the track just ended but I was wrong. Almost without warning the track dipped in an almost vertical drop. I almost screamed as I plummeted for 20, maybe 30 seconds before flattening out again.
By this point the voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong was louder and I could no longer tell myself it was wrong. This ride could not have been this long. I tried to make sense of it, wondering if somehow I had gotten diverted onto some kind of maintenance track or, hell for one brief irrational moment even entertaining the idea that I had wound up on an actual train track somehow. But that was absurd. The rail below me was not a train track, it was still just the simple, aluminum rail of an alpine coaster and there had been no diversions or junctions in the track. I was still on the ride, as insane as that was starting to feel. Had the ride somehow looped? Again after having the thought I immediately dismissed it as crazy. There’s no way I could have missed the ride building where I got on. And what kind of ride loops over and over?
The sled zoomed through the forest, oddly never seeming to lose speed despite the relatively flat grade of the track. I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car and not wearing a watch. I don’t know exactly how long I had been on the ride at that point but it felt like I had been on the ride for a half hour, maybe more. But time is a funny thing when you’re in a situation you’ve never been in. Could have been more, could have been less, at that point.
My pride finally failed me. I started to scream for help. I screamed out that the ride was broken, to stop it, that I needed help. I did that for about ten minutes or so I think. The ride kept going. Mostly flat, level track with occasional mild dips and turns. But the simple length of the ride grew more and more unnerving and unexplainable.
I thought about just bailing out. But the ride, impossibly, was still not slowing down and chunks of mountain rock and thick tree trunks were all around me. Bailing out without risking smashing into a rock or a tree seemed impossible.
The ride kept going.
Up ahead the forest was clearing out some, I could see the forest brightening, more sunlight making it through the canopy.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
The trees stopped and I had just enough time to take in a flat, open area of rock maybe 40, 50 yards at most before another sheer cliff. The tracks twisted and turned and then shot straight down. But that wasn’t the worst of it. For a moment, a very short moment, I had a clear view for miles and the landscape was, to be blunt, totally impossible. Any possibility that I had just stumbled on some incredibly long ride was blasted out of my head. Barren, volcanic looking rock stretched for miles. Jagged, black rocky outcroppings as far as the eye could see. I was in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. They don’t look like that.
I had a few moments for the terror of that view to settle in before the cart plunged into another horrifying drop. I gripped the handles of the cheap plastic sled until my knuckles turned white. The drop felt completely vertical, like I was falling at terminal velocity. I screamed. My stomach dropped and turned. I imagined the sled coming away from the track and me just plummeting screaming to my death on the rocks below. But somehow the ride still functioned. I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for whatever was going to happen. Eventually after several what felt like a full minute of steep plunging the track again leveled out, and I opened my eyes to see myself moving at breakneck speed over that black, rocky landscape.
Now that I was moving on a more or less flat horizontal track again I took a few deep breaths. I looked over the edge of the track. Nothing but that black, jagged rock, almost looking like obsidian, zooming past. I had no idea how fast the sled was moving now. Fast. Faster than a gravity powered sled should be moving. And the track was higher off the ground now. Alpine slides usually stick pretty close to the ground, but I was 20 feet or so in the air, the track suspended in the air, a simple metal tube tower like a power pylon every few yards.
Without any immediate threat and the sled moving fast but steadily and level I was able to think about my situation again, for all the good that did me. Ahead of me the track just continued to the horizon, nothing but the same rocky landscape as far as I could see. I craned my neck to look back over my shoulder and looked back behind me and it looked the same. Even the mountains were but distant specs on the horizon behind me.
This was insane. There’s not a giant seemingly endless field of black jagged rock in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. There’s no cliff faces tall and steep enough for a multi-minute vertical drop. And alpine coasters were small affairs, not major engineering projects that span miles with pylons and vertical tracks. It made no sense.
Sadly it wasn’t going to start making any more sense anytime soon.
The ride kept going.
I was on this rocky landscape for several hours. I feel comfortable saying this because I could actually notice the sun getting lower in the sky. And the sled wasn’t slowing down despite the grade of the track being flat. I was getting cramped from sitting and stretched my legs and twisted my back as best I could. Didn’t do much help. My eyes were starting to get irritated from the constant wind in them. Worst of all it was starting to get chilly. I only had on a light jacket, a windbreaker, just something to keep the breeze off me, no real insulation. I was cold, my joints were stiff, I was hungry and thirsty. My eyes watered and my throat was so dry it was sore.
But none of that was as bad as just how little sense this all made. There’s nothing like this place anywhere near the Smoky Mountains. This was like some volcanic rock landscape. The more I thought about it the less sense it made.
The ride kept going.
My mind didn’t even try to process this. Whatever I was experiencing simply couldn’t be possible. I was crazy. I was dreaming. The CIA had kidnapped me and dosed me with some new version of LSD and I was in a straightjacket in a padded room at Area 51.
The sled kept zooming along as the sky turned to dusk. Soon the bridge disappeared from my view and I continued on along the endless, rocky, featureless landscape.
I sat back against the sled, mentally and physically numb. I was exhausted. I was thirsty. I was cramping up. I was hungry. I had to pee. I held it for as long as I could, then had no choice but just wet myself. I cried until I had no more tears left. Then I just sat there.
The ride kept going.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon my throat felt like sandpaper. I dug around in my jacket pockets hoping to find a stick of gum or piece of candy. Nothing. I checked again, having nothing else to do. Under a crumpled store receipt in the inner pocket of my jacket was a single old, forgotten cough drop. I unwrapped it from the paper and popped it in my mouth. Saliva flooded back into my mouth and I was overwhelmed by the methanol and medicine taste. It was something at least, although I knew it would be a brief and temporary fix at best.
I felt my eyes get heavy. It was getting colder. That mountain cold. That deep cold the mountains have even into the early spring when the sun goes down. That kind that just pulls the heat right out of you. I shivered. A terrible, horrible certainty came to me. I would ride until I passed out from exhaustion or the hypothermia set in. My body would tumble off the sled to fall and skip across the rocky ground like a stone skipping across a lake, my bones breaking as I tumbled until my body finally came to a stop. If I was lucky I would be killed and not have to lie for days, broken and bruised, on the ground until death took me.
The ride kept going. The ride kept going. The fucking ride kept going.
“Fuck you” I said to the ride, my voice a horse whisper. I pulled my jacket closer around me, for all the good it did. The cold wind was slowly but surely pulling my body heat away. My shivering got worse, crossing the line from a simple normal shiver into those deep, almost violent full body ones.. I wasn’t anything you could call an experienced outdoorsman, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t a good sign.
It was getting dark. There was a full moon at least so I wasn’t totally in the dark.
About then I noticed something. The landscape, what little I could see in the fading light, was changing. It was smoothing out, becoming less rocky and craggy. Up ahead an odd, shimmering light was starting to appear on the ground.
I was over it before I even realized what it was. The tracks were going over a smooth surface.
Water. It was a lake. The odd lights I had seen were the moon, reflected in ripples on the lake.
Within minutes I was out of the view of the land. After the nearly endless rocky landscape and everything else I had seen, it scared me how little I was shocked. I didn’t like how mentally numb I was getting. I leaned over. There was enough moonlight to see the water, 15 or 20 feet below the track. The pylons holding up the track went into the water, the light wasn’t good enough to even make a guess at how far they went down or how deep the water was.I leaned back in the sled. My eyes were red and bloodshot from the constant wind. I closed them. This was a mistake.I jerked awake. I don’t know if I dozed off for a split second or an hour. My weight had shifted and I caught myself as my center of gravity was in danger of sending me off the sled and into the water.
I screamed in anger. A deep primal scream. I hurt so bad. My joints felt like they were full of glass. My limbs were full of pins and needles. I glanced over at the water. For the first time on the very edges of my brain a tiny voice started to speak up, telling me that I could be all over if I just jumped. I shut the voice up, but it scared me still.
I sat there as the ride went on. It felt like hours. Eventually the lake ended in a rocky shore line. The damned ride. There was no safe place to bail out. If the ride slowed down, it was high in the air, if it moved toward the ground it sped up. Sharp rocks, big trees, nothing you could safely bail out into.
I kept having to force myself awake. I kept dozing off. Once I felt myself falling asleep and drove a vicious uppercut into my own nose to stave it off.
I seriously started to think about how much longer I could hang on. The voice came back again. This time I didn’t shut it up. I wasn’t admitting it to myself yet, but I was starting to think about the best way to land that would end it quickly if I needed to.
Something was ahead. The track seemed to dip into the ground. I was too tired, too beaten to even get scared. I was just resigned to whatever happened at this point.
With little warning the track took my sled into a tunnel in the ground. Everything went completely pitch black. After several moments even the dim moonlight was gone.
This was the worst part. The creepy forest, the immense rocky landscape, the eerie lake… those were bad. But this was just nothing. Nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing for reference or sense of where I was going. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were inches from me in every direction. The air felt thick, like there wasn’t enough oxygen.
With every moment I was in that tunnel I lost a little more hope. After a long, long time I made a decision. When I got out of this tunnel, I would jump. I didn’t care anymore. Hopefully there would be a spot where I could be certain the fall would instantly kill me. I was done. The ride had beaten me. I sat there, waiting for a chance to end this on my terms. That was all I had left.
Eventually up ahead, a tiny speck of light appeared. I gathered my strength, ready to end it. I sat up, getting my legs under me so I could jump as soon as we were clear. The sled burst out of the tunnel. The dim light of the full moon was enough to be momentarily blinding after the pitch black of the tunnel.. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust.
I was back in a normal looking Appalachian forest. Rolling hills, green trees. The air smelled of pine again. I heard an owl hoot off somewhere.
Slowly I lowered myself back into a setting position, in shock. At first I refused to believe it but the ride was slowing down. I held still, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me, but no, the cheap plastic sled that had been my world for what felt like an eternity was slowing down.
Up ahead, a structure was visible, peeking out from among the trees in the dim lighting as the sled moved down the track.
It was the Alpine Slide building. The crappy fake red barn where I had boarded this cursed ride so long ago. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sure it was either my mind or the cursed ride playing tricks with me. But the building stayed there.
It grew closer and closer. The track leveled completely out. The sled slowed down more. Before I had the time to really come to terms with it I arrived back at the building.
The sled slowed to a stop, gently pumping against another sled parked on the track. I sat there for a few moments, gasping in great big gulping fear breaths, trying to assure myself the ride didn’t have one last trick of its sleeve.
I looked around. The place was empty, deserted. The overhead lights were still on and the old Pepsi machine still glowed and buzzed, but the ticket booth was dark and empty, a metal gate pulled down over the ticket window.
Suddenly it hit me that I was free and I practically leapt out of the sled and onto the platform. I immediately collapsed. My legs were jelly and my head was spinning. I tried to stand up again and doubled over, dry heaving. Have you ever been out on a boat for a day and have that weird reverse motion sickness when you’re back on solid land? It was like that times a hundred. My inner ear was literally pounding, all the motion had really done a number on it.
I laid there for a few moments and eventually forced myself to stand up on my two wobbling legs. I looked around, a horrible certainty creeping into my mind that there would be no exit, no way off the platform but to my relief an exit turnstyle, one of those full height ones, was set into the fence that surrounded the ride property.
I went through it and found myself back on the main road. The truckstop was still there, still open but far less busy. My car sat in the same corner of the parking lot I had left it.
I allowed myself one look back, just one quick one. The metal skeleton of the Alpine Slide track sat there, dark and quiet but otherwise normal.
I stumbled-ran back to my car, dug the keys out of my pocket, and collapsed inside. When the door shut I let out a primal scream, the tons of fear and confusion and anger all fusing into a single, raw emotion. I screamed again and again.
After a few moments I felt like I was emotionally at least back to a place where I could act, although I wasn’t sure yet what to do next. Not really knowing what to do I cranked the car. The A/C had been on low when I shut off the car and it came roaring back to life and cold air blowing on me almost sent me back into a full on panic attack. I fumbled with the climate controls until the air stopped blowing directly on me, then calmed down enough to turn the heat on, helping to get the chill out of my bones. There was a half full bottle of water in the center console cup holder and I grabbed it and chugged it. Nothing ever tasted as good before or sense as that few ounces of water.
That was when I noticed the clock on the radio head unit. It was 4:17 in the morning. It had been about one, one thirty or so in the afternoon when I got on the accursed ride.
Over 15 hours. I had been on the goddamn ride for over 15 hours. Over half a day.
I just sat there. Warming up. Calming down. I was exhausted. I was dehydrated. I can’t even describe how my head felt. I probably had at least a minor case of hypothermia. I thought about going into the gas station and asking for help but what would I even say, and more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. And I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be nowhere near that damn ride.
I put the Camaro in gear and pulled into the street and in panic I immediately slammed on the brakes. I was lucky there was no traffic on the road at that moment. The feeling of accelerating to just normal surface street speeds made me sick to my stomach. I gathered myself and very slowly accelerated the car I usually treated with a very heavy foot up to 30 miles an hour. Every time I tried to accelerate at a pace faster than “Old Lady Going to Church, Uphill” I would have a panic attack. I was okay once I was up to speed, but accelerating freaked me out after being on that ride.
I drove about 30 minutes, putting some arbitrary amount of distance between myself and the coaster. Eventually I made it back to where the twisty mountain road met back up with a major road that would eventually meet back up with the highway. After a few more minutes of driving I saw the onramp for the highway. There was one of those big truckstop travel plazas and pulled in, parking right up at the door. I smelled like pee and I can only imagine how I looked, but I didn’t care.
I kept a couple of emergency 20s in the back of my wallet and spent it on the biggest bottle of water the store had, an overpriced bottle of eye drops, and a huge travel mug of coffee. The clerk looked at me as if he was expecting me to either drop dead or rob him the entire time.
Back in my car I downed the coffee. I put a few eye drops in each of my eyes and sat there as the caffeine took effect until I felt like I could make it back to my apartment. The sun was just coming up when I finally pulled out of the truck stop and got on the freeway. I slowly, very slowly, accelerated up to highway speed, put the Camaro in cruise control, and let the miles start to drift away. I turned on the radio, I needed to hear human voices. Every time my mind went back to what had just happened I turned the radio up louder, eventually drowning it out with painful levels of rock music. I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. Yes looking back I know I was just in denial. I finally made it back to the crappy little apartment I had off campus, a little two story walk up studio. I let myself in and collapsed on the cheap couch. I was asleep before I even had the time to decide whether or not to do anything else. I woke up later that afternoon. I took a shower and ate a meal and didn’t think about the ride. I washed the pee stained filthy clothes I had been wearing and didn’t think about the ride. I went back to class and didn’t think about the ride. Every time I thought about the ride I forced it out of my head. I’m sure this wasn’t the most mentally healthy thing to do but what can you say?
I didn’t forget about it, don’t be silly. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget. One day while looking up something else in the university’s library my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up the Alpine Slide. No website but a few Google Map and Yelp mentions. None of them mentioned anything weird, certainly nothing even remotely like what I experienced. Near as I can tell it closed sometimes in the winter of 2012.
Life went on. I mean, that’s what it does. The next day was a little better. And the day after that a little better. And the day after that a little better still. I met a nice girl. Graduated. Got married. Got a nice house in the suburbs. Got a dog. Had a daughter. Spent a lot of time happy and not thinking about being trapped on an endless alpine coaster.And that was my life for many, many years after that.
Until a few weeks back when as a very different person I found myself driving a boring and safe mid sized family SUV through those same mountains. My wife Carol, 5 months pregnant, sat in the passenger seat, our 6 year old daughter Emily in a booster seat in the back, and Max our mixed breed mutt next to her. It had been a nice pleasant trip, driving back from visiting her folks.
I hadn’t thought about that fucking ride in so long I barely registered that I was in the same general area until it was too late. Suddenly I realized that little mountain tourist trap town was only a few minutes down the road. I swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel hard. Carol was looking out the window at the scenery and Emily was deep into some kid’s Youtube video on an iPad. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as we rounded the corner.The town was still there, sorta. Time had not been kind to it. The gas station was still there, at some point it had been bought out by Shell. The tourist trap shops were still there. One of them was now a vape shop. The diner was closed, the building looking like it sat unused for a long time.
But of course that’s not what I cared about. A looked over at the site where the Alpine Coaster once stood. It was gone. The kitschy fake barn was gone. The site was just a bare concrete slab with a chainlink fence around it. Faded “no trespassing” and “for sale” signs hung off the fence. A pile of old, decaying lumber that might have once long ago been part of the structure covered part of the old lot. No sign of the track remained outside of some old concrete support posts dotting the side of the mountain.
I exhaled out a breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Soon the little town disappeared in my rear view mirror.
About a half hour later we stopped for gas. I pulled up to a gas pump across from a massive motorhome. Max stuck his head out the window and started barking at a little white dog, a toy breed of some kind, in the window of the motorhome. Carol and Emily immediately headed into the store to restock on snacks while I fueled up.
I stood there, a half smile on my lips as Max barked and wagged his tail in an attempt to attract the attention of the other dog while I filled up the tank, said dog doing an admirable job of ignoring him.
Right about the time I finished fueling up and cleaning the bugs off the windshield Carol returned from inside the store, Emily in tow, arms filled with two full sized bags of Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips and what looked to be a half dozen individually wrapped pickles.
I raised an eyebrow at the collection of food but knew better than to question a pregnant woman's snack choices.
“Should we take Max for a quick walk?” Carol asked. The travel plaza had a nice little gated dog walking area off to the side.
“Yeah probably not a bad idea, he’s been cooped up in the car for a few hours.” I said. Max, upon hearing his name and the word “walk” , forgot about the other dog and upgraded from wagging his tail to wagging his entire body while making whining sounds and staring right at me.
About this time I became half aware that the big motor home next to us was pulling away. I didn’t think much of it, outside of doing a quick automatic mental check to make sure Emily was well clear of the moving vehicle, but she was safely between me and our SUV, well out of the way.
But that was when Emily looked behind me and cheerfully yelled “Daddy look a roller coaster! Can I ride the coaster?”
It’s cliche as fuck I know but my blood went cold.
I turned around slowly, certain in my knowledge that terrible old decrepit Alpine Coaster would be there, having just popped into existence to trap me again.
That.. is not what I saw. Sure enough there was a coaster there, one I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had mostly been blocked by the motor home, but there it was. It was even an Alpine Coaster.
But it was not the same coaster I had encountered those years ago. That was immediately obvious. It was a small but modern and newish looking setup with neon lights and a bunch of people. There was an actual building where you bought tickets and a little snack stand.
“Daddy! Can we go on the coaster!” Emily asked again.
My mouth made motions but no words came out. I glanced over at Carol, hoping she’d say we didn’t have time but to my horror she smiled and said “You know what? That does sound like fun. Daddy will take you while I take Max for a walk.”
My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of it. But Emily was already dragging me across the parking lot to the entrance.
I patted my pocket, making sure my phone was in it. Every fiber of my being was screaming to run away. I slept walked through the line and the ticket booth while Emily bounced happily.
We got into a two seat plastic sled. This one was actually a lot nicer than the one my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about. It had two nice cushioned seats, big grab handles, even a nice rollbar.
The sled started up the track. I fought back the panic. I swerved my head around, keeping the building in my view. I was terrified of losing sight of it. We made it to the top and Emily did a happy squeal as we started down the side of the mountain.
My heart raced. Any second, any second my mind told me we’d lose sight of the building and then the ride would never end. The ride sped down the mountain. My mind tortured me with thoughts of not only going through it again, but seeing Emily go through it. The ride went around a big, banking turn. Emily kept shouting happily. How long before Carol reported us missing I wondered? Could I keep Emily calm? What if it lasted even longer this time? What if this time it never ended?
And then we were back at the start of the ride. The same attendant who had helped us into the sled was helping Emily out. I stepped out. The attendant gave me a brief look but said nothing. I guess I looked a little wild eyed.
I was fine. Emily was fine. It had been a perfectly normal, fun ride.
“That was fun Daddy! Thank you!” Emily said. I forced a smile back. “It was fun.” I responded, hoping like I sounded like I meant it.
I took Emily’s hand and we walked back to the car. Max saw us coming and barked happily. Carol looked up from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s she had somehow acquired and added to her snack collection while we were gone and smiled at us.
“Did you have fun?” she asked.
“It was so fun Mommy!” Emily said.
Carol smiled down at her, but then looked at me and frowned. “Are you okay?” Carol could read my face a lot better than the attendant could. “You’re pale.”
I smiled and this time the smile felt real. “Ya know what. Yeah, I think I am okay.”
Carol looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press it. We loaded Emily back in her booster seat, stopped Max from trying desperately to eat half a discarded gas station hot dog off the ground and got him back in the car. Carol and her small collection of snack food took her place in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat.I smiled. I cranked the car. I put it in gear. I pulled out of the gas station and back on the road, this time accelerating just a little faster than I had in years.

I am pretty sure this is what is going on with me! Without me realizing it originally….
Short story; about 2 weeks ago I noticed that I had some frontal neck tightness, like my veins I could feel more blood flow happening in them? Or my pulse? Idk, but it didn’t feel right. Also had some irritability and hot flashes. Then I noticed my chest was tightening! I had already experienced some pins and needles feelings in my hands and arms. I had just started an upper dose of my thyroid medicine which can also cause quite a bit and thought it was just that. So because of the cardiovascular issues I was feeling, I decided to completely stop caffeine just in case bc I didn’t want to exasperate my symptoms. Important to note, I had already decided to bring down my caffeine content because I know it was too high, but I did not really connect any of this to lowering or tapering my caffeine at all until the last couple of days! I truly thought it was just my medication. However, seeing as I was very dependent upon caffeine for the last 20 some years at anywhere between 500 to 700 mg of caffeine a day throughout the day, caffeine withdrawal makes total sense! Could my thyroid medicine have contributed? Absolutely, probably so but at this point I think that I’m really in the thick of it when it comes to caffeine withdrawal because I have completely stopped my medication. Symptoms included: I have been experiencing some chest tightening/discomfort. It was never painful but it was just very tight and heavy feeling. I have had heart palpitations that I could feel in my chest and in my neck, along with neck restriction, almost strangulation feeling! Bad headaches and I would say the oddest one were cold tremors. There was one night where I was wearing a full clothing plus a onesie and a blanket and my whole body was tremoring. I ended up going to the hospital ER twice thinking that it was something to do with my heart and each time they ran an EKG which came back totally normal. The first time they also checked my blood for troponin which signifies whether or not you may have had a heart attack and it was fine. They did a CT scan on my neck since I complained of tightening and restriction and it completely came back fine and a chest x-ray to check my heart and lungs which was also fine. The second time I went to the hospital they did, like I said another EKG, which was fine and another x-ray which was also fine and basically asked if I was stressed or have anxiety (which I never have!)
So, all this to say, it’s gotta be the caffeine withdrawal! I’ve always been someone who has tried to be physically fit and today I felt probably the best I have felt in two weeks so I went on the smallest jog ever and it felt fantastic during but after resting for about 10 to 15 minutes that sudden rushed pulsing in my neck came back and after doing some research it looks like caffeine normally will restrict the blood flow to your head and so it seems like maybe I’m getting more blood flow now that I’m not having caffeine to restrict blood flow, which is causing the pulsating to where I can feel it as well as the headaches. It’s insane!
Please tell me I’m not alone?! How long does this last!