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I genuinely don't know what to do in this situation. I can't tell if I have issues or what, but I feel like a monster for how I am feeling right now. I'm on my last year of high school before I go to college, so, I think I need to unload some stuff here right now. This might be a long vent, but here it goes.
Way before my mom got cancer, me and her have a very complicated relationship, you know, the typical teenager and traditional, old school parents kinda thing. Understandably, I'm known to be a lazy, spoiled, arrogant, and selfish kid, who doesn't give a shit about anybody else except for himself. Since I was younger, that was how I was raised, I had everything already ready on my hands. Besides that, I have some attention/ focus issues, as I would daydream unusually way too much and I have low understanding skills, thus always getting left behind by my classmates. I have high self-awareness on my flaws, and that is part of the problem.
My mother has always been strict with me and my older brother, for a good reason. She grew up very.poor and had to work hard for decades to get to where we are. This took a massive toll on her health, as she now has an autoimmune condition and her body had been failing her. I always considered my brother to the favorite child, because he's the smartest, most diligent, and loyal kid in the family -- unlike me. My mom has always claimed that she loves us all equally, but she always compares me to my brother, and even my friends, who are always winning trophies and getting top grades in school. I never won a trophy or medal before, and never got the top grades.
School was always something I struggled with. I'm pretty sure I have ADHD but I haven't confirmed yet. I tried asking my mom if I could perhaps see a doctor or try to get her attention on my problems, but my mom is the type of parents that doesn't believe in mental health and just called me a "lazy, selfish, brat". She uses the claim that "You haven't suffered before, there are others having worst than you" and etc. She brushes away my problems, claiming them to be a negative flaw of mine. Not only that, she is also homophobic, much to the dismay of my closeted self. I know about my flaws and I've been trying to better myself, but because of the things that I did, my mother has zero trust in me and continued to treat me as if I was going to do something bad again.
Because of this, thoughts of suicide and even more violent thoughts arrived. There were many times where I had attempted to do it, but I was too much of a coward, another flaw that my mom pointed out. Quarantine took a massive impact on me and I have felt like absolute shit. My mind became so down in the deeps, that I even developed an unhealthy addiction to something that I am too ashamed to mention here, but just so you know, it is something that ruined my life, relationships and my sleep. Nobody knows that I have this addiction.
Then, at one point, I broke down and told my mom about my issues and how I attempted suicide. But all she did was brush it off and used those same words again, and then it became a joke. Since then, my emotions went from sad and utterly depressed, to just full on anger and hatred. Me and my mom would get into more frequent arguments and such, but it was nothing too big and wasn't that much. But that all changed a few months back.
A few months back, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It broke her and the family apart. I hated seeing my mom in this condition, always in pain, crying and screaming because of the painful medicine and treatment, and just, she was in absolute pain. But she still continued work from the early morning until the late of evening, just to support us. I tried doing my best to help her, but she told to just "focus on my studies and graduate". I even offered to find a job or something besides school, but she told me that it was stupid and that a child shouldn't have to do this. My mom still cares about me, despite the fact that she was slowly dying.
However, perhaps because of the treatment and the fact that she doesn't have much time left. my mother became much more angrier. Everyday now, she would shout and berate people, from waiters in restaurants, the entire family (even my grandparents), my father, and me. My brother is living abroad in a different country, which means that he doesn't understand what's happening on home, which is why I couldn't talk much about my mom with him because he always assumes I'm overreacting.
Eventually, all that anger and frustration that my mom felt, all came down to me. She would take out it out me verbally and emotionally, by berating me, screaming at me in public, and calling me all sorts of terrible things. She wants to see me become perfect and succeed, thus why, I believe she was being super strict with me. I stopped fighting back with her and I just endured all the anger, as I knew that if I retorted, she would die quicker.
However, I guess the breaking point was an argument in the hospital. There was a miscommunication between me and her, which led to the worst berating of my life. She called me a "heartless brat" and "a piece of shit", and claimed that I don't love her and I only want her alive for the money. I couldn't take it anymore so I shouted back, and told her that I wish I was never born to be her child, and then I stormed out from the hospital, unable to keep myself calm any longer.
And now since then, our relationship has been growing more complicated. Some days, she would be fine and happy to be with me and the rest of the family. But on most days, she would just explode. The berating got worse with me, especially how she told me that she would rather die than see me become a failure. I have also grown more violent, as I would now punch or hit my head on the walls, and I wanted to kill myself not because of my depression, but because of pure anger and spite at everything. I started treating everybody like shit, always getting angry at them and secretly feeling hatred and envy towards my friends. I had thoughts of beating people up or hurting others physically, and some more violent thoughts, but I just couldn't find the right chance to do that. I even planned my suicide and secretly wrote a note, ready to use it when the time comes.
As I am typing this now, me and my mom had another big fight regarding a schoolwork of mine. In one of our classes, we were supposed to have some kind of project fair, basically presenting our essay. It was supposed to tomorrow, but the dumbass, boring teacher that everybody hates moved it to Tuesday -- the day that me, my family, and mom will be going out of the country to treat my mom at an advanced hospital. The teacher then claimed that for those who did not show up, they will get a zero. The teacher is known to hate teaching his students, doesn't bother to make the class engaging, and would give people low scores no matter what. Because of this, my mom had to admit about her cancer to the teacher and why I should present tomorrow, instead of Tuesday. My teacher luckily agreed and I would be presenting it tomorrow alone, which is fine. My mom emailed me the message about that news. However, I accidentally misread something in the message, which would become a terrible fault of mine. Today, when my mom was talking the project to me, there was a word that I didn't recognize and tried to ask what she meant. This exploded her and she screamed, berated me for the entire afternoon, because I had misread one word.
Now, I have locked myself up in my bedroom, typing this. I want to just jump out from my window and end it there. My mom always told me that the reason for her cancer, was because of me. So if I just end myself now, I don't think my mom will be in pain anymore. I know my mom doesn't mean what she said, but words hurt a lot more than anything. I want to get out of here, but at the same time, I want to stay. If I try to talk about this with my mom, she'll just berate me again and call me ungrateful again. I think I'm in my breaking point and I don't know what to do. I hate myself, and I want to end it. I can't take it anymore.
Am I being selfish? I'm sorry that this is a long vent, I just need to release some steam. I love my mom so much and she has made so many sacrifices, just to feed us and build a roof over our heads. I want to help her, but I am genuinely conflicted. Hopefully one day, I can resolve our relationship. I don't know what to do. I just want my mom to understand me.

Adam and D-Sides Boyfriend, or DS for short, were deep into a game of Super Mario Bros Wonder on the Nintendo Switch."Yeah, this game is pretty good!" Adam agreed, just as the doorbell rang. He paused the game and got up. "Hang on, I gotta see who's at the door." Boyfriend nodded, and Adam walked to the front door. Opening it, he found Owen and Oskar standing there. "I often forget you know where I live," Adam remarked. Oskar darted inside, eager to escape Owen’s company. "Hi," Owen said, following more slowly. Owen took one couch, and Oskar took another, each eyeing the other warily.

Adam broke the silence. "So, where are your girlfriends tonight?" "Busy," they both replied in unison. "Well, okay then," Adam said. "I’m playing Mario Wonder with Boyfriend. Want to join?"
"You have a boyfriend?" Oskar asked incredulously. "No, his name is Boyfriend," Adam clarified. "You’re joking," Owen said, skeptical. "Nope. Hey BF, come out here!" Adam called. DS stepped out and waved. "Beep!" "Huh, you’re right," Oskar admitted.

Just then, someone knocked on the side door. "Hold on," Adam said, heading over. He opened it to find Isaiah and Eleanor. "Hi, Adam!" Eleanor greeted cheerfully. "Hi, guys!" Adam responded. Isaiah walked in, stopping when he saw Owen and Oskar. "Oh...who are you guys?" Isaiah asked. "I’m Oskar," Oskar replied. "I’m Owen," Owen added. Eleanor followed Adam, who closed the door behind them. "So, since there are more people here than usual, any ideas on what to do tonight?" Adam asked. "Beep Bo Bap!" DS beeped. "Boys' Night Out?" Adam suggested. "Boys' Night Out?" Owen repeated, confused. "It’s basically when just the guys go out for the night and have fun!" Adam explained.

"So, basically anything?" Oskar asked. "Yeah, as long as it’s legal," Adam said. "Are you okay with it, Eleanor?" Isaiah asked. Eleanor smiled and nodded. "Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Your sister is home, right, Adam?" "Yeah, but she was a bit snappy earlier. I wouldn’t bother her," Adam warned. "Where would we go, anyway?" Owen asked. "Beep bap!" DS suggested. "Yeah, we can go to Applebee's," Adam said. "I’m okay with that," Isaiah agreed. "Can we go to the casino afterward?" Owen asked. Everyone stared at him in confusion. "Dude, we’re all 12-14 except for BF," Adam said. "Oh right," Owen realized. "We can go to the arcade next," Isaiah suggested. "That works," Adam said. "What about after that?" Oskar asked. "We'll figure it out. Ready to go?" Adam asked. "Yeah, I’m ready," Isaiah said. Owen got up. "Let’s go." Adam, DS, and Oskar followed. "Bye, Eleanor! We'll be back in a bit!" Isaiah said. Eleanor waved as the boys left.
After a bit, they finally arrived at Applebee's. "Alright boys, welcome to Applebee's. You know what I love about this place? The culture. I usually have a burger, but sometimes I switch it up. First meal, you’re in Asia; next meal, you’re in Greece!" Adam said.

"Beep bap bo!" DS chimed in. "Exactly, I feel like I need a passport to eat here!" Adam laughed. "So what do you recommend?" Isaiah asked. "What do I recommend? Isaiah, this is Applebee's. I recommend all of it! Wait, you're from New York, right?" Adam asked. "Yeah. Why?" Isaiah asked. "Brooklyn or Queens?" Adam asked. "Manhattan," Isaiah said. "Did you not go to Applebee's before?" Adam asked. "No, not really," Isaiah said. "Well, that's fine. You’re gonna love it," Adam assured him.

After a bit, the waitress came over. Adam’s heart sank. It was Mary Lou Maloney, a familiar face to him but not to the others. "Hello, welcome to Applebee's. My name is Mary, and I'll be your server tonight," Mary Lou said.

"Beep!" DS said."Y-Yeah..." Adam stammered, clearly unsettled. Mary Lou focused on Adam. "How about we start with you, handsome?" she asked, getting close and rubbing his hair. "What would you like to drink?" "Uh, I would like a..." Adam began to say. "You want a lemonade, right?" Mary Lou suggested. "Y-Yeah, that works," Adam said, visibly uneasy. Oskar looked at Adam, puzzled by his behavior. "I’ll have water," Oskar said. "I’ll have a Pepsi," Isaiah added. "Beep bo bap!" DS said. "He said he’ll have a Coke," Adam translated. "I'll take a water too," Owen said.

Mary Lou smiled and walked away. Adam faced the ground, holding his head. "Adam, are you okay? You acted strange when the waitress came," Oskar observed. "No, no, I’m fine. Just a bit hungry, that’s all," Adam lied, unconvincingly. "Who was that? You acted like she was your mom. Oh my god, was that your mom?" Owen asked. "What? No, that's not my mom. Look at me," Adam said. "Beep bap bo, skidoo bap?" DS asked. "No, not my ex or girlfriend..." Adam said. "Then who is it?" Isaiah asked. "Well, she's... a friend of mine. Yeah, a friend. I forgot she worked here," Adam said.

Mary Lou returned with their drinks, still grinning. "I have your drinks, boys. Now, may I take your orders?" "Yeah, that would be nice," Isaiah said. Mary Lou turned towards Adam. "Hey!" she said. "...Yeah?" Adam replied. "You want a classic bacon burger, right? Well done, fries seasoned?" Mary Lou asked. Adam’s heart dropped. "Y-Yeah..." "I’ll have a chicken sandwich," Isaiah said. "How do you want that cooked?" Mary Lou asked. "Crispy," Isaiah replied. "I’m not hungry, thanks," Oskar said. "I’m not hungry either," Owen added. Owen and Oskar exchanged glances, both thinking, "What's your excuse?" "Beep bo bap do bop!" DS said. "Alright, I’ll be back in a bit!" Mary Lou said, leaving with a tune. "Not your girlfriend, eh?" DS teased. "Why are you speaking English now?" Isaiah asked.
Meanwhile, Eleanor knocked on Esther’s door, but there was no answer. "Hello?" Eleanor called, knocking again. "Go away, Adam, or I’ll stab you," Esther threatened from inside. "But... I’m not Adam," Eleanor said. Esther opened the door and looked up at Eleanor. "Who are you?" "My name is Eleanor. You’re Adam’s little sister, right?" Eleanor asked. Esther groaned and tried to close the door, but Eleanor held it open. "Hey, what are you—" Esther began to say, but Eleanor's grip was strong. The door cracked as Eleanor instinctively burst it open, then sprinted off. "What the fu—"

Back at Applebee's, Mary Lou brought the food over, still grinning. "Enjoy your food!" she said, passing it around before leaving. "Damn BF, those nachos look tasty," Adam said. BF nodded, taking a bite and giving a thumbs up. Owen and Oskar’s stomachs growled. "You sure you aren't hungry? It’s not too late to order something," Adam offered. "I'm fine," Oskar said. "Yeah, me too," Owen agreed.

After around 20 minutes of eating, the food was done. "Wow, that burger was delicious," Adam said. "Beep…." DS said. "Yeah, it was," Isaiah said. Mary Lou came back. "I hope you enjoyed your food, now who's paying?" Mary Lou asked. Everyone looked at each other. "Uh, can you give us a second?" Adam asked. She nodded and left.

"Alright, I'm fine with paying if I need to but are there any takers?" Adam asked.
"...This might work," Oskar said. He pulled out Swedish cash from his pocket. "...Oskar, that's Swedish currency. I don't think that's gonna work." Adam said. "Oh…" Oskar said. "Wait, Oskar, are you Swedish?" Isaiah asked. "Yeah, Eli too," Oskar said. "Huh, I mean I can kind of hear it in your voice," Adam said.

Mary Lou came back and leaned close behind Adam. "You know, if you can't pay, if you come in the back with me Handsome, I'll let you off free…." Mary Lou said. Adam turned red as everyone turned towards him, dazed, surprised, and confused. “Uh..Uh..” Adam begins to say, dazed and confused. “Think about it handsome. I'll be back in a bit..” Mary Lou said, kissing him on the cheek. She walked away, humming to herself. Everyone just stared at Adam. “Did…Did she just…?” Oskar began to say. “I think…?” Owen began to say. Isaiah just stared at the ground.
“Bro, I think the waitress just offered to let us go free if-” DS-Boyfriend began to say, but Adam cut him off. “Boyfriend for everyone's safety DON'T finish that sentence,” Adam said. “...Are…Are you going to say something about what just happened….?” Isaiah asked. “I would rather not…” Adam said. Everyone just stared at each other. “You know what? I'll pay. That way we can simply move on.” DS said. “Really?” Owen asked. “Dude, when a waitress offers to bang your best friend to get out of a restaurant without paying, that's when you know you gotta get the f**k out of dodge,” DS said. “Hey, nice reference,” Isaiah said. “Thanks,” replied. “How can you afford to pay?” Owen asked.

“My parents are CEOS of big companies, that's how,” DS-Boyfriend said.
“Hey Adam, can you get the waitress?” DS-Boyfriend asked. “...Why me?” Adam asked. DS-Boyfriend gave a sh*t-eating grin. “Oh you gotta be kidding me,” Adam said agitated. “Hey, don’t look at me, she’s the one into you,” DS said. Adam rolled his eyes and got up, but when he turned around, he bumped into Mary Lou, who was walking back to the table. “Oh hey! Taking my offer?” Mary Lou asked. Before anything could happen DS stepped in. “Actually he was going to get you so we can get the hell outta here,” DS said. Mary Lou looked down before nodding her head. “Alright, we can have some fun another time then.” Mary Lou suggested. Adam turned red again as DS got up from his seat and handed Adam the Money. “Here you go,” Adam said. Mary took it and smiled. “Alright, you can go! Have fun boys!” Mary Lou said with a creepy smile. The others got up from their chairs and quickly left through the door. But before Adam could Leave, Mary Lou grabbed his arm. “...This was nice. Can we do this again sometime?” She asked. Adam shrugged. “I guess so,” Adam said. Mary Lou smiled. She took off Adam’s hat and rubbed his hair. “... It's a date then, see you later…alligator.” Mary Lou said. “YO ADAM, WHAT’S THE HOLD-UP, COME ON!” DS yelled. Adam turned and left through the door.

Eleanor was sitting outside on the steps in the backyard, thinking to herself about what transpired. She didn’t know what came over herself, she didn’t even mean to get so aggressive. She was about to just get up and go take a walk down the road when she noticed a toy Rabbit sitting near the gate. It wasn’t there before. It was grey, and one of its eyelids was drooped down. It had a red vest and a blue bowtie and its eyes were purple. “Where did you come from?” Eleanor asked. The toy roared to life. “R-R-R-Ready to Rocket!” the toy belted. Eleanor gasped out of surprise and dropped the toy, causing it to stutter on one line. “Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is-” But then the rabbit stopped, its eye slowly turning to look at something in front of it. “H-H-Hi Bon!” Eleanor looked up and saw him. A large 7 ft rabbit animatronic stood in front of the gate, but he looked…damaged. The rabbit had a white latex mask, with a cigar in his mouth and its eyes glowed a bit white as it stood there.He wore a red bowtie connected to a dickie. The torso had a large hole in it, and it was…slightly lined with blood. His vest was tattered and damaged. It had a bunch of holes in it. He had a name tag on his vest “HELLO! MY NAME IS BON.” But it was slightly ripped. His lower arms were exposed with an endoskeleton, but the fingers looked like claws. His lower legs were exposed with an endoskeleton as well. Bon wasn’t looking at her at first before his eyes slowly tilted towards her. The rabbit slowly moved its head, a creaking sound coming from it. The mouth opened, and at first, nothing came out, but then it spoke. “M-My. Name. Is. BON.” The rabbit went to walk towards Eleanor when Esther opened the side door. “Hey. Knew I’d find you out here.” Esther mentioned. Eleanor looked back, but Bon was gone. It was as if..it were an illusion. She looked down and the toy rabbit was gone as well. “Oh, hey,” Eleanor said, trying to sound as normal as she could, albeit possibly hallucinating. Esther sat next to her. “Listen, I don’t know what that was back there, but I’m not going to lie, it was kind of cool,” Esther admitted. Eleanor smiled. “My name is Eleanor, what’s yours?” Eleanor asked. “Esther,” Esther replied. It seemed like she would continue the sentence, but she left it hanging. Eleanor smiled before she asked something, following up on something she heard earlier. “...Hey, can I ask you something?” Eleanor asked. Esther nodded. “...Why do you hate your brother?” Eleanor asked. Esther frowned a bit. “It’s…not that hate him. I’ve been in other homes before this one and most of the time my brothers were…assholes.” Esther explained. “And…is Adam one?” Eleanor asked. Esther sighed. “No...Not really, he’s been nothing but nice but..I just don’t believe it. Like how could someone just be so nice? I haven’t even seen him snap in anger yet. I know it's bound to happen eventually but still.” Esther admitted. Eleanor shrugged. “Guess I understand,” Eleanor whispered. Esther got up. “Well, it was nice meeting you, I’m going to go back into my room ok?” Esther asked. Eleanor gave a thumbs-up as Esther left.

“Right so, where is the arcade?” Oskar asked. DS looked at his phone. “Uh, somewhere around…Here!” DS shouted, pointing at a building. The Building was red, with white glowing neon lights. The arcade was called “THE NEON ARCADE!” “Dude this place looks awesome,” Adam stated. “Where did you find this place?” Owen asked. “I came here with my girlfriend once, gots a sick amount of arcade machines,” DS stated. “Well what are we waiting for, Let's go have some fun!” Isaiah shouted.

The gentlemen walked into the arcade, it was literally what you expected, mostly just an arcade, but there was a play zone, food court, and…a bowling rink! Yeah, that should be about it. “Dude this looks straight out of the 80s!” Oskar shouted. “How would you know? It’s not like you were FROM the 80s!” Adam replied jokingly. Oskar just stared at him, his face serious. “...Calm down! It was a joke!” Adam said, putting his hands up. Oskar made a sigh of relief. “Good, I thought I’d need to kill ya,” Oskar said, joking back. Owen stared at Oskar, his eyes wide with fear. Oskar looked at Owen, seeing the fear in his eyes. “...What?” Oskar asked. Owen didn’t respond, as if remembering…bad times. “Owen…Owen!” Adam shouted. Owen snapped out of his trance. “Oh, sorry...Just thinking of something.” Owen admitted. “Your girlfriend?” DS chuckled. "Something like that," Owen muttered, wanting to change the subject. Adam glanced at him, concerned but deciding to let it go."Alright, let's split up and see who can get the highest score on any game!" Adam suggested, trying to lighten the mood. "Winner gets bragging rights for the rest of the night." DS chuckled. “Bet I can get the highest score,” DS spoke cockily. “You sure about that?” Owen asked. DS looked up at Owen Smugly. “Wanna bet?” DS asked. “No, I just don’t wanna see you lose it.” Owen replied. “BET.” DS stated.

The boys went to different games as the hunt was On. Adam saw this cool game called “Death by AI”, while Oskar played a game called “Ring Out”, while DS and Isaiah played Air Hockey. Owen on the other hand, didn’t exactly know what he should play. Sure, there was Miss Pacman, but he didn’t feel like playing that without Abby. That’s when he noticed a game just..sitting there in the corner. It was an arcade game from King of the Jungle Cafe. But that closed a long time ago. How did it make its way here? The game was called “ZOO ESCAPE”. It was about King Louie and his animal friends being sent to a zoo and they needed to escape. Owen looked around. No one was watching him. Why not give the old game a go? Owen walked over and placed a token in. The game rocketed to life, the familiar jingle playing out. It put a smile on his face. And so, he began to play. Despite how old the game was, it was still fun to play. He was playing for a while when he sensed someone was watching him. He at first thought it was Adam, but he realized it wasn’t. It felt off. He paused the game and saw someone leaning against the arcade machine. It was a boy. He was wearing a black teeshirt with white stripes. It had the earth on it. He had a purple and blue bracelet on one of his arms. He wore tan pants with white shoes. His brown hair went slightly over his eyes. From his face, Owen could tell he had braces and freckles. “Enjoying the game, huh?” The boy asked. Owen nodded. “Yeah, it's fun, I used to play this all the time,” Owen admitted. The boy chuckled. “I used to love playing this thing.” The boy agreed. “..I’m Owen, what's your name?” Owen asked. “Ronny, nice to meet you. ..Though, I swear we met before.” Ronny pondered. “What do you mean?” Owen asked, tilting his head. Ronny shrugged. “Nevermind, it's nothing,” Ronny said. Owen wa about to respond when he heard Adam shouting from the other end of the room. “OWEN, WE’RE ABOUT TO HEAD OUT, YOU READY TO GO?” Adam cried. “Yeah, Coming!” Owen shouted back. Owen looked back, but Ronny was gone. He looked around, but couldn’t see any trace of him.

Adam and the others gathered near the entrance, their faces glowing with excitement from the night's activities. "So, who got the highest score?" Isaiah asked, smirking as he pointed at the air hockey table, where he had just narrowly defeated DS. “AI had nothing on me,” Adam replied. Oskar chuckled, shaking his head. "Ring Out was a blast. I reached level 15, but I think you might've beaten me, Adam." "Did anyone check the scores for Owen?" Isaiah asked, looking around.
Owen shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I was just playing an old favorite, 'Zoo Escape'. Didn't check my score." "Old games for old souls," DS joked, giving Owen a friendly nudge. Owen glared at him but shook it off. "Alright, boys, let's tally up and declare a winner."

The group walked to the main score screen near the entrance. After some friendly banter and a quick check, Adam emerged as the victor with his impressive score on "Death by AI". "Bragging rights secured," Adam announced, striking a triumphant pose. "Now, what's next on the agenda?" DS pulled out his phone to check the time. "It's getting late. Maybe we should start heading back." Adam yawned. “Yeah, I agree, come on gentlemen,” Adam commanded.

The group began their walk back to Adam's house. The air was cool and refreshing, a welcome change from the bustling, neon-lit arcade.
"So, what was up with that waitress at Applebee's?" Isaiah asked, breaking the silence. "She seemed...intense." Adam stopped walking and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly still embarrassed. "Yeah, Mary Lou's...interesting. I guess she likes to mess with me." "Mess with you? Dude, she was all over you," Oskar pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "You sure there's nothing more to that story?" Adam sighed. “Look, I don’t really know, I guess she’s just…like that. I have no idea what’s going on in her head. I guess she just has a unique way of interacting with people she likes.” Adam suggested. Owen looked around. “My house is nearby here, I’m gonna head out,” Owen said. “Right, see ya man.” DS waved. Owen waved goodbye as he separated from the group. “Actually, looking around now, I think my place is around here too. I’ll see you guys later ok?” Oskar said. “Alright, see you later man,” Isaiah replied. Oskar walked away, now it was just DS, Isaiah, and Adam here. “You know what? This was fun.” DS Remarked. “Yeah, it was,” Adam responded, a bit tired. “Just a question, why did you start speaking English out of nowhere?” Isaiah asked. “...Eh, I just felt like it.”

It took them a bit, but the trio got back to Adam’s house. “Welp, that was fun boys but I’m gonna head home, see yall later!” DS shouted. Adam waved goodbye as DS walked away. “Don’t know about you, but I’m tired,” Adam said. “Same, goodnight Adam!” Isaiah replied. Adam waved as they walked into the house, Adam walked into his room, as Isaiah walked downstairs.

Isaiah got back into the apartment downstairs and closed the door behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief. Unsure why he did that. “Isaiah.” A voice called “S**t!” Isaiah yelled out of fear. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The voice responded. Isaiah focused his eyes and noticed two eyes staring at him from the darkness, but he recognized the voice. “It's ok Mom,” Isaiah replied. “Where did you go?” Naiomi asked. “I went with Adam and some of his friends on a boy's night out. Where’s Eleanor?” Isaiah asked. “In her room waiting for you,” Naiomi responded. “Thanks,” Isaiah replied. He was about to walk into the room when his mother stopped him. “...That Adam…is he any good?” Naiomi asked. “What do you mean?” Isaiah asked. “Is he treating you right?” Naiomi asked. “Yeah, if anything he’s like a brother,” Isaiah stated. Naiomi stared before nodding. “Alright, good. Goodnight Isaiah.” Naiomi said, with a deadpan voice. “Good Night Mom,” Isaiah responded. He entered the room as Naiomi looked at the door upstairs. But she decided against going up there, she’d need an invitation after all.

The Santa Marta region of northern Colombia has, within a ninety minute radius, the Caribbean, the snow-capped peaks of the Sierra Nevada, desert with plentiful cactus, and rain forest. The diversity of birds is remarkable, which is what induced my sister to suggest this locale for our trip. We showed up wondering “how to find the birds,” but before that sentence was finished, some birds swooped down and stole part of our breakfast.
The “Tower” is a wonderful lookout point in Minca, a small town about thirty minutes away from Santa Marta. You stand in an elevated gazebo, surrounded by beautiful mountains, and watch various birds go by. The host family doesn’t even charge you for the drink of water. Until not too long ago, Minca was a “no go” zone, ruled by drug lords and guerrillas. Now there is a very peaceful revenue-generating compromise, with a lid on all the violence. British women visit and order avocado toast, before setting off on their birding tours.
My sister has seen dozens of “lifers” on this trip, namely birds she had not seen before. For me they are almost all lifers, except the pigeons.
You can take a several hour small boat trip to see a village on stilts, Pueblo Palafito. The locale supports 1000 or so people, all using water taxis to get around and mostly working as fishermen. It is not near anything else, and their power source is solar, due to a gift from the Italian government. This was the highlight of the trip. I am told families there typically average five children, and the schools were indeed full of enthusiastic young people. Best is this video, you don’t need to understand the Spanish.
In the city of Santa Marta there are two (!) separate monuments to the 1958 Smith-Corona typewriter, both at major intersections. They are intended as a tribute to the region’s best-known author Gabriel García Márquez.
The local economy is too dependent on coal export, but overall it feels bustling and reasonably prosperous.
The best food there is seafood, most of all fish and shrimp, in addition to coconut rice and various forms of plantains. You can eat very well here but I would not stray from the area’s basic strengths. Maracuya juice is consistently good. I don’t usually order desserts, but here they are consistently interesting and original, often using honey, or sometimes waffles.
I would strongly recommend the Marriott hotel there, the one on the beach. It is essentially an $800 a night quality place, with very direct beach access, but at far, far lower prices. And you end up with the ocean and also the three swimming pools pretty much to yourself. (Where is everyone?) For the entire trip, and for the hotel, safety levels are just fine.
This is what the Caribbean should be, but rarely is. Visiting Santa Marta, as a trip, is so far ahead of most better-known beach outings it isn’t funny. From Virginia I can fly to Colombia in about five hours, and then Santa Marta from Bogotá is a mere 90-minute extra flight.
It is a common trope that genetic influences on individual behavior strengthen as people age. If you take a trip with your sibling, you will see further evidence that this is true.
It is rare for me to get on a plane for reasons that have basically no work components. That said, it is also easy to get work done here.
The post Santa Marta, Colombia notes appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.

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40m Partner and 40f I have been seeing each other for a year and im starting to have compatibility concerns.
I didn’t have great role models growing up (or even now) and have only been in one long term relationship where we lived together so apologies in advance if this sounds silly but am just a bit insecure and trying to be better.
Some of the things that concern me:
Partner sometimes does not appear to pick up what I put down. For example:
1-he came to visit overnight and I hid a silly little gift (nothing dangerous) in his bag and when he found it he thought it was super weird, rejected it and we ended up in a first over it.
2-he had a little milestone (kind of silly little one but I like to celebrate the small stuff) and I made him a certificate for it. He felt I had “too much time on my hands”
In parallele he doesn’t doesn’t seem to see anything I do as that amazing. I recently had a large achievement and pay rise at work and simultaneously purchased a property. He listened to me when I talked to him about it but never asked about it again. Settlement went past without a note. In comparison my friends are wanting to have a party for me … but he won’t even mention it.
This all makes me feel super unimportant and like I don’t matter. I want to be with someone who values me and my achievements and vice versa.
Another one is he seems to ignore me or tell me to move on when I’m upset. Examples:
1-I felt ignored at a restaurant. We barely spoke while eating and I just got a little in my head and he says I “looked visibly upset” and he just decided it was best to not engage / check in as he didn’t want to make a scene.
2-I once told him I get nervous when he tailgates people and he got pissed at me stating “I am a very good driver I’ve been driving for years and have never had an accident”
In a recent incident he’s admitted to acting (or getting??) upset when I was upset as he feels it’s the only way to get me out of a funk
I feel like there is no space for me to need him emotionally.
He also doesn’t really like my cooking, the food I like, we have very different lifestyles, he hates the sports I like he even dislikes public transport ….which I love. This imo should be immaterial but it ends up creating fights …
We’ve discussed these things but it always ends up in a long drawn out conversation where he explains to me why I’m wrong for the way I’m presenting / seeing things etc. (I find t hard to believe uve i have been the one wrong every time we’ve fought since we met ….) but equally I’m the one who’s been single for years prior to this so maybe I’m an awful person to be with & just disillusioned that anyone would want to spend time with me …
Thinking logically I am sometimes starting to feel like he may not value me for what I have to offer - the little gestures, the caring actions, it just all goes over his head … and is probably wasted energy. I care for him and outside of these fights I love how he treats me but guess I’m wondering:
1-Is this normal in a relationship?
2-How can we get past these silly little fights?

Background: I (19F) transferred to a new college closer to home because it was more affordable, but even with these changes, I can barely afford to pay for food, rent, and classes. I’m constantly sick and underweight from stress and lack of nutrition. I know people have it worse financially, and this might sound whiny, I’m just struggling atm. If I “act out” (do art, relax, be introverted, dress/talk a certain way), my finances are threatened, which stresses me out because I share ownership of my bank account with both my parents. And if I need financial support, I often have to call and beg. I don’t like doing it, and she doesn’t like it either, and tells me about how she was able to do it all back when she was in college. And my family is well off, I went to school in a good area, got multiple Christmas presents, and would always go on summer vacations growing up, so money in the family is plentiful. In contrast, my brother is having a wonderful college experience traveling across the country, going out at night with friends, and eating at nice restaurants all paid for by my parents. And since I’ve been out of the house, they travel more frequently. We got that dough! Well, they do. I might sound a bit bitter, and that's because I am, but I’m at least glad that my brother doesn’t have to feel this stress.
The Tea: Now for where this subreddit is relevant. My mom has been working to start a business for a year. It started with social media, and I think she blew up? I don’t check social media much these days. She has a loyal fanbase, and she started putting all her effort into opening up her own shop. I’ve helped her with content, aesthetics, marketing, products, a couple times a week since the start, because she seems so excited; and with her busy with this, there’s been way less of her dumping all of her problems (financial, depressive episodes, or otherwise) onto me, and our relationship has gotten a lot better, or so I thought.
She’s been really anxious recently because my dad is ready to retire and live a quieter life, away from the hustle and bustle, which means leaving behind this lavish lifestyle and live more simply, or in short: downsize. Less shopping hauls, presents, and vacations. He’s worked hard for so long and he’s tired and he gets sick often, nothing serious, but I think it would be healthy for him to stop, plus he’s lucky enough that he is able to do so; but she’s doesn’t want to lose it, and change can be pretty hard sometimes. She called me last week asking me to move across the country, to a building she purchased, not remotely close to home, and work as the manager. I would be the only employee, as she wants to only hire people she can trust. I would do all the marketing, create all the merch, learn and eventually to operate inventory, keep track of all sales, bookkeeping, and essentially run the shop.
When I heard this, I knew I didn’t want to do it. I was happy to help her this much, but all of this is so sudden and not what I’d signed up for. I want to stay in school and explore my own life, and I don’t want to put that on hold for anyone. I’m in the interview process for an internship, I work summers, overload classes so I don’t have to spend as much, plus I’m working on a business myself, but I don’t really have funds, so it’s really small now, but it’s something, and I have regular supporters that frequently purchase from me.
I told her this, and safe to say, she was quite upset, and sends me paragraphs upon paragraphs regularly, to remind me. “This is just what kids do for their parents” “You’re being selfish, only thinking about yourself, and not my dream” “This will be a good for you, this is the best job you’ll ever have, you’ll hate everything else out there” “The kids of all my friends are working harder, you’re slacking off” “Do you really want to stop traveling? I know I’m not going to give that up” (By the way, I haven’t been invited to a family vacation since high school, so that never really applied to me.)
She especially didn’t like that I had started my own business. I launched it a month ago, and I’ve made $150! It’s not much, but I’m proud of myself, especially working from nothing and no support, but she told me “I make more money than you, so this should be prioritized.” So I asked her what payment would be, because at this point we’ve been talking for 2 hours and I’m exhausted, and she said that we could “come up with a compromise that would work for the both of us.” So does that mean I don’t get paid?? I asked and she didn’t answer at first, later saying payment would come if she deemed I was working hard and putting in effort. Um…? and now she’s beginning to move my stuff, like my bed, over to the location so I can live nearby.
As for my dad, he’s gone silent, I got one email from him last week, basically saying that ‘he’s ok, he’s taking care of a lot of things right now, things are stressful, but not unexpected.’ I haven’t been able to get ahold of him since, which concerns me because I don’t know if something is wrong, and I’m so anxious. My mom tells me worse and worse things about what’s happening to him, and I could make it better if I took some responsibility and supported the family.
And no, she hasn’t asked my brother for help, she doesn’t talk to him about the serious stuff, they just kinda joke around and do fun stuff together when he’s around. I’m the oldest, so I always grew up needing to be the role model. I’ve already started rolling out her ad campaigns and logos and product design (for free), because I feel so guilty for not repaying my family for everything they’ve done for me. (Yes, I’m a doormat.) I don’t want to be selfish, or troublesome, or lazy, or mean, and I’m trying my best to balance it with my school and my work, but I want to live my own life and find what makes me happy, I have so much hope for what I can do to make a difference in this world! My way! But at the same time, it just feels so strongly like what I want to do is the wrong thing to do. I’m not exactly financially independent, and my main support system is gone, so I’m at a loss for what to do.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading.<3

Let me start this by saying that I personally know nothing about the park, so I am looking for info on basically everything. Specifically lodging, must see sites, best airports to fly into, attractions outside of the park, restaurants, entrance passes, etc… My elderly mother and grandmother are unable to walk long distances, so I would need to be able to accommodate them with whatever I plan. I understand that most people plan these trips at least 6+ months in advance, but my grandmother has recently got some bad news about her health. I am doing as much research as possible myself but any additional information anyone can provide would be much appreciated! Like I said I know very little about the park so anything

Somewhere between 90 and 95% of openers I get are either "hi" or "hey." So literally anything else puts you sonewhere in the top 10%. Even "HEY ASSHOLE! would at least be memorable. So I wouldn't sweat it too much; the bar is set really low.
If you're really insistent, though, it's thd same sort of stuff women want in an opener, just with waaaayyyy less competition. And if you can somehow prove you're not a scammer while you're at it, even better.
The opener I start with is usually something easy to answer and invites a thoughtful response. Such as, "What is your go to karaoke song?" or "What's your favorite thing about living [insert city]"? or "What's your favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon?"
I usually get the conversation started and then if he doesn't match my energy, I unmatch.
One of my favorite opening lines I got from a guy was “Hi there! Let me know what you think of the following:
A white picket fence house, a couple dogs, some nice cars, maybe a boat for weekend trips to the lake, and we can do that for about 5 years until you get sick of me. After that we divorce, I let you keep everything, and we’ll call it a good time!”
Made me laugh and for being an introvert who struggles immensely with conversation this helped relax me instantly.
The online dating world is vast, with a plethora of apps to choose from. However, according to a study by Statista, one outranks them all when it comes to finding love: Bumble. The app, known for letting women make the first move, has since expanded into a networking platform for building both friendships and professional connections. But if you’re still interested in using Bumble for its original intent, you might be wondering how to go about answering all those Bumble prompts, of which there are over 40 to choose from. Here, we’ve rounded up ten of the best Bumble prompts, plus example answers. So fill out that profile, pick your preferred zodiac sign to date (it’s Pisces, right?) and watch the notifications roll in—before you know it, you’ll be needing a spreadsheet to track all those dates.
How Do You Write a Good Bumble Prompt?
The best way to write a good Bumble prompt response is to be honest, specific and positive, according to experts. If you leave your profile generic (or worse, empty), you’re not giving dates enough information to work with so that they can start a conversation. So, focus on being clear about what you want (without being a negative nelly) and don’t be afraid to throw a little humor in there, too. After all, laugher is proven to help us relax, and when we feel at ease, we’re more comfortable sharing about ourselves and learning about others.
The Best Bumble Prompts and How to Answer Them

1. Perfect First Date...

This Bumble prompt is a great way to let potential matches know what you’re expecting, so be specific. “Drinks” is not going to cut it. Instead, write out a little itinerary—it doesn’t have to be incredibly detailed, but it should give someone an idea of what you enjoy. Maybe it’s a picnic in a park. Perhaps you lean towards the classic dinner and a movie, or you love art museums, comedy clubs and bookstores.
What you can say:
Catching a flick (sci-fi or rom-com) followed by dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant in Los Angeles. If the sky is clear, we’d drive up to Griffith Park and have a little La La Land moment.
Picnic in Central Park and then a ride in a rowboat—you’re doing the rowing, of course. We’d top it off with ice cream and maybe a bookstore jaunt.
We’d eat our way through Smorgasburg in Brooklyn and then sit on the pier looking at the Manhattan skyline as the sun sets.

1. I Get Way too Excited About...

Behavioral scientist and author Logan Ury advises that a successful dating profile makes it easy for someone to start a conversation with you. Use this prompt to talk about something you’re passionate about. Restaurant openings, golf, Bluey, painting, opera, rock climbing, cooking, Paris, Marvel...whatever you can’t stop talking about goes right here. Don’t worry about appealing to the masses—the right person, who might also love these things (or just love how much you love them), will come.
What you can say:
Paris in the springtime. I took a gap year there and love going every April to see the cherry blossoms, and one day I’d love to do a tour through Provence to see the lavender, too.
Rock climbing. I’m at the climbing gym at least twice a week and love going bouldering once a month with my club. If you haven’t seen Free Solo, you’re missing out.
Broadway shows. Every year, my dad and I spend a weekend in NYC marathoning every single musical we can get tickets for. I’ve seen Phantom of the Opera five times and yes, I’m crushed that it’s closing.

1. A Pro and Con of Dating Me...

Stay away from the “beige flags” here. Ury has previously explained that beige flags are clichés, and the whole goal here is to stand out. So be honest and own both your pros and cons, all while finding a way to keep it lighthearted. Debbie-downers aren’t good first impressions.
What you can say:
Pro: I’m a great baker, so you’ll always have fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Con: I’m definitely a planner and being spontaneous can be hard, but I’m working on embracing last-minute adventure.
Pro: I’m on the pulse of the restaurant scene and always have great recs. Con: I can’t stand the MCU. (But I’ll make an occasional concession.)
Pro: I’ll never ask you to TikTok dance with me. Con: I can be slow replying to texts—but I’m working on it!

1. A Non-Negotiable...

This Bumble prompt is important because it can be your deal breaker, however, avoid being super negative. We all have our icks, but as dating coach Lindsay O’Brien has told us, you don’t want to spiral on a list of things you don’t want, because it can imply emotional baggage. (That’s not a bad thing and a lot of us have it—it’s just not something you might want to spill in the “handshake” phase of dating.) Use this prompt to reveal qualities, values and even shared dreams/goals you’d like the person to have.
What you can say:
Great communicator.
You like and are conversational about art, books and travel.
You think living abroad for a few years sounds like an ultimate bucket-list adventure.

1. My Real-Life Superpower Is...

This one can be a lighthearted icebreaker or a lean more serious. Whether it’s a quirky talent or your favorite quality about yourself, share it. Just, as noted above, stay away from the clichés.
What you can say:
Making conversation with strangers and putting them at ease.
Cooking for a crowd.
Somehow always managing to win the Broadway lottery.

1. After Work You Can Find Me...

Here’s another Bumble prompt that can show not just your interests but how you spend your time. If you’re a budding cocktail connoisseur, maybe your future date will find you at the latest trendy opening in the city. If you love art, you might be taking advantage of museums’ free admissions nights before heading home. Tell potential matches how you want to spend your time, so you don’t waste time getting to know people who aren’t interested in those things.
What you can say:
Curled in bed with a book—I live for murder mysteries, Jane Austen and fantasy novels.
At a concert; I’m obsessed with alternative rock and country music.
Baking cookies while watching the latest season of The Bachelorette.

1. I Promise I Won’t Judge You If...

Now is not quite the time to get serious with a heavy hitter, so use this prompt to get silly and show your sense of humor, while potentially revealing your own eccentricities in the process.
You totally trip over nothing on the sidewalk, because I do that at least three times a week.
You haven’t read Pride and Prejudice, as long as you promise to watch the Kiera Knightley version with me.
You have zero sense of direction. Me too.

1. Favorite Quality in a Person...

Here’s a chance to cast a reel for the good traits you're looking for. Again, diving deep is key, so try to avoid things like “nice.” A lot of people and things are nice. Elaborate on what you want to see in a nice person.
What you can say:
The way he/she makes eye contact with the people they speak to, making them feel seen and heard.
Remembering important dates—birthdays, anniversaries—and celebrating them.
Prioritizing others’ needs first, while still having healthy boundaries.

1. I’m a Great Plus One Because...

A lot of your answers to Bumble prompts will be serious. This one is a chance to be less so. Flaunt your funnier side and tell them why taking you to a company party, wedding, family or other social event will be a good time.
What you can say:
I’ll totally stick by you if you’re the wallflower.
I can talk about literally any subject.
My dance moves can’t be beat.

1. A Review from a Friend...

We want to know what other people think, so now’s the time to reel in a friend and have them give you a review. It’s always interesting to see how we are perceived by others, and as your profile is filled with prompts that you’ve answered from your own perspective, calling in a review will give potential matches a look into who you are that highlights qualities you may have glossed over.
What you can ask your friend to talk about:
Your personality traits that they like.
A favorite memory together.
Five reasons they would date you.

1. My Favorite Quality in a Person...

Time to pull out your dream list of a person’s best qualities and...ask for them. (Gasp!) As dating coach Lindsay O’Brien has previously told PureWow, it pays to be clear up front so that the right people can find you. Just make sure to keep it positive, because listing the negatives (ex. Someone who doesn’t [insert quality here]) can suggest relationship baggage. “For example,” she says, “If you don’t want someone who is sarcastic or critical, you can say, ‘A sweet guy makes my heart melt.’”
What you can say:
A sense of humor.
Planner extraordinaire.
Thoughtfulness.

I started following Lacy back in her Free + Native days after she wrote a blurb for mindbodygreen about her hair growth infusion. I finally joined the Pathway in 2020 and did it in tandem with therapy and got a lot out of it at the time! But once I graduated from therapy I felt I had graduated from the Pathway as well. Even though I’ve since unfollowed TBM and Lacy and become a bit disillusioned by both, I realized just how much Lacy and her recommendations have influenced me over the years!

1. Beans- Oh the beans! I never did the bean protocol strictly, but after listening to Karen Hurd’s first podcast (let’s pretend that second one never happened) I figured it was a cheap and pretty easy way of incorporating more fiber in my diet, especially as I move toward eating a more plant based diet. And now that my baby’s eating solids he also eats beans most days 🫣
   
2. Flower essences- I will sing Alexis Smart’s praises until my dying breathe! Her flower essences really are amazing. I bought my best friend and I some on a whim after we had our babies because we were navigating so much postpartum and whoa did I notice a tangible difference! I’ve literally had her formulas on rotation ever since. I also DM’d her on Instagram and had the funniest, sweetest interaction with her. I won’t try and explain the conversation because it’s confusing without the full context but she actually came back and messaged me apologizing in case I took offense to her message (which I did not, there was absolutely nothing to be offended by! But I thought it showed how sweet, sensitive, and thoughtful she is that she’d reflect on what she recommended to me! It made me like her even more tbh.)
   
3. Hair growth tea- If you don’t know the one I’m talking about, it’s this one. Even though I’ve technically been drinking this infusion for years, I’m never consistent enough to tell if it’s actually making any difference. If it’s worked for you let me know and I’ll try and get better about drinking it 😅
   
4. Lara Elliott- I know someone on here recently asked about Lacy’s inner circle and Lara was mentioned. I had a life-changing womb healing session with her a couple years ago before I was about to begin trying for my baby. She was genuinely so warm and friendly! And I still talk about how powerful that session was to this day. She also gave me a really wonderful taco restaurant recommendation after our session haha. Seriously if you’re interested in booking a session with her, it’s worth every single penny!
   
5. Jenna Zoe- I’m not even into Human Design but I love Jenna’s app so much, specifically for the meditations! It’s so affordable for the amount of content that she is regularly uploading (ahem take note TBM). She also has one of my favorite Instagram accounts PERIOD.
   
6. Beekeeper’s Naturals- This stuff works amazing, I fear! We have a baby in daycare so the throat and nasal spray stay in rotation.
   
7. Infrared mat- I forgot I opened an FSA account so I had a lot of money to spend in very little time lol so I bought myself an infrared mat after literally seeing Lacy have one (I feel like she had it at the Forest Retreat House?). The brand she used wasn’t FSA eligible so I bought a different one. I still loved it! Again, not sure if it made any difference to my overall health, but I it was great for menstrual cramps, I always used it when I got sick, and my dog also loved to have a snooze on it which is obviously most important haha.
   
8. ION Biome- Bought this stuff after listening to Zach Bush’s Expanded episode when I was have a particularly rough bout of stomach issues. I don’t think it made them worse? But it definitely didn’t make them better. It also gave my husband the shits for days lol. I still gave it a couple months but traditional probiotics just work better for me 🤷‍♀️
   

I feel a real kinship with this particular community and would love to know what products/people you found through Lacy/TBM, and whether you recommend them or not!

What are the best restaurants that are not that expensive in Oxford? Like all different kinds of cuisine.

AITA for not letting my sister's boyfriend come over?
My (23F) sister (27F) is upset that I don't want her convicted murderer bf over. A little back story is: my sister, husband (23M), and I all live together to save money. The economy in our area is not great, so my bf and I were struggling to make ends meet on our own. We all live in a rental and split bills together. Everything was going really good until my bf ended up getting laid off last year. Everything was really rocky for a while, but my sister started going to the food bank so we could eat. This is where she met her current bf (45M).
They hit it off, and she hadn't been in a relationship in a while, so I was pretty excited but also a little guarded due to the age gap. Something that's worthy to mention is that this man is a convicted murderer. He did 23 years in jail after murdering someone with his best friend over some stolen cash. I was a little hesitant at first but eventually decided to meet him.
He seemed fine at first, treated my sister well, and I didn't have a problem with him until the beginning of this year. He currently lives with his parents and other roommates (which is common in our area due to astronomical rent increases) and lives on disability due to a workplace injury. He started coming over every weekend. He doesn't drive due to getting out of prison in the last year and not having funds for a car. I've had to pick him up a few times from the next town over about 30 minutes away due to my sister's busy schedule.
In February, I informed him I would like a weekend with him not coming over, and he was not allowed to come over that weekend. He became upset and started blowing up my phone. I ignored it as I was out drinking with friends and didn't want to make the situation worse or say something I would regret.
I ended up with 6 missed calls, 2 voicemails, and 14 texts. Once I realized he wasn't going to stop, I lost it. I informed him it was not his house, it is a rule in our house if one of us (my husband, my sister and myself) does not want a guest over then we have the right to say no, and that he was no longer welcome at our home. I informed him I would not be driving him places or helping him in anyway until he learned that he is not entitled to my living space, my time, or my concern. I let him know that those are privileges and he will no longer be welcome.
Things have been rocky since then. My sister will ask every weekend if he can come over. He has since apologized, and I have gone to a few lunches with my sister and him to keep the peace. Since that fall out happened, though, he has said a few things that do not make me feel comfortable with him in our home.
I knew he had murdered someone and was trying to have an open mind, as 23 years can change someone. But the reason he wants to come over every week is because he gets into fights with one of his roommates a lot and states that if he stays, he will end up going back to prison.
There was one time after a lunch we had together that my sister forgot something in the restaurant and this man proceeded to tell me a story of how his sentence got lengthened because he beat a man almost to death while in prison for talking bad about his sister. He explained many gory details, including how he was covered in blood, etc. He stopped once my sister returned, and he acted as though nothing had happened.
I'm going to be honest. It scared me quite a bit. I don't know if I read too much into the story or if I just want to hold everything against him, but it felt almost intentional??
Since the fall out in February, he spent one night over about 2 weeks ago, according to my sister he either was going to be sleeping in the streets or could come here, my husband and I were tired and feeling guilty so we allowed him to stay one night. During that night, we all ran to Walmart for some snacks, and my husband stayed home to feed our pets.
My sisters bf showed me a new pocket knife he had bought and informed me he was thinking about using it on his roommate or himself if he either didn't go sleep in the streets or didn't come to our home. I was obviously a bit freaked out, and again, my sister wasn't around to hear this.
Tonight, my sister came to me and asked if he could come over. I haven't told her of the private conversations him and I have had, as I don't think her opinion on him will change, but she knows I don't want him over very much still. When I said no she stated that it's unfair since she pays 1/3 of our living expenses but can't have company, and if he wasn't allowed here then she was going to go with him to a hotel. She said my bf and I were being unfair, not allowing him over.
So, reddit, AITA?
TL;DR My sister's convicted murderer bf lives with roommates he doesn't like and wants to come over at least once a week. He has said very violent things privately to me about his thoughts and feelings towards his roommate and himself, as well as almost unaliving someone while in prison. My sister wants him over and says it's unfair she pays bills but isn't allowed company over. I said no because I don't like him and don't feel safe with him (neither does my husband), AITAH?

Before I set out to Belize, (Which was a simi-spontaneous trip) I wasn't sure what or where I wanted to do or go. My planning was all done within maybe a weeks time. I ended up deciding to go to San Ignacio as I got a week at "The Cabins At Monkey Falls" Airbnb. Once I made my reservations, I needed to figure out how to actually get to San Ignacio. I was looking for a shuttle for just me and after looking around for a while and a lot of googling later and reading reviews of a few places, I couldn't make up my mind on who to choose. I ended up seeing this subreddit and looked around and found a post recommending Oscar for my ride from the airport. I searched some more and saw several people mention that they had all positive things to say about him. So I reached out Via WhatsApp and he promptly got back to me and he was available to pick me up at the airport.
The day I flew in, I let him know my flight details and once I landed and a quick 10 minute customs check later I met up with Oscar outside and we were on our way to San Ignacio. Oscar made some recommendations for a few stops along the way. The first of which was the zoo to grab some lunch. They have some very good food there plus there are some interesting critters roaming around too! Very cool. After that we stopped at The Art Box to get some much needed coffee after my redeye flight. I would definitely recommend those stops if time permits for anyone who is heading to San Ignacio.
Upon arriving in San Ignacio, he gave me a couple of places to check out while I was in town (He's a local there and knows all the best spots). He asked me some of the things I wanted to do while there and I mentioned I was thinking of going to Tikal in Guatemala, but I was unsure of which tour place I wanted to use. That is when he said that he could take us (my sister joined in on my trip a few days later) up there and we would have more time to explore or whatever since we weren't bound to a tour company's timeline. He just so happened to have the day we wanted to go available on his schedule so we booked it.
On the day of our trip to Tikal, Oscar picked us up good and early to make our way to Guatemala. One quick boarder crossing later, we kept driving until we made a stop at a nice restaurant on the way to get some breakfast. Since we weren't on a deadline we enjoyed our meal without being hurried with a whole group of people. Once we made it to Tikal, we opted to hire a guide there (Guides are completely optional) which ended up being a good choice since he has good knowledge of the different buildings and most importantly, knew his way around so we never got lost or turned around there. About 5 or so hours later in the intense jungle heat later, we were back at the visitor center and seemingly out of nowhere THERE HE WAS! Oscar seemed to have a 6th sense on where his passengers are! No waiting around or anything. It was a good feeling to be able to sit down in the AC of his van. Now we headed back to town to get some dinner which turned out to be rather exciting.
We stopped at the restaurant El Muelle which was a nice place right on lake Peten Itza. When we showed up, there a bit of commotion by the docks and when we went down to check it out there was several guys there around a crocodile that was all roped up! They heaved it up into the bed of their truck and hauled it off. It wasn't until a bit later we heard that it had attacked a guy a few days prior and they finally caught it. We then sat down and ordered drinks and food all of which were very delicious. Afterwards we went down to the lake and we all jumped in to cool off in the refreshing lake water. It was like jumping into a nice warm tub, unlike every ice cold lake up here in the northwest. I wish all lakes were that nice here. They had some hammocks that are in the water just a bit too which were very nice and relaxing. The water was crystal clear so you can see anything that might be lurking below too. After enjoying our time on the lake and watching the sunset there, we made our way back to San Ignacio.
The next morning, Oscar picked us up and we made our way to the water taxi port. We stopped to get breakfast along the way at a place called Cheers, which may or may not be named after the TV show. We couldn't figure that one out. Breakfast was very good there and worth a stop. Once we got close to the water taxi port we stopped at a store to grab some snacks and whatnot and we parted ways at the water taxi port.
Oscar definitely made my trip possible without worrying about filling out online forms and having to deal with online payments. I like to do as many transactions in cash then traveling as possible. Oscar made it incredibly easy to plan my travel where I needed to go and he keeps his van VERY clean and he takes pride in what he does. I didn't have a boring ride at all, Oscar is a very engaging guy, we has some good conversations getting to know each other and him telling me all about to Belize. Overall I was very happy with my choice of choosing Oscar over any of the other choices I had came across.
When I go back, I'm going to let Oscar know and I know I'll have a reliable ride to where I need to go. And everyone that I come across that is interested in going to Belize, I will recommend Oscar over anyone else.
TLDR, If you need a ride in Belize, just message Oscar on WhatsApp!! His number is +5016136030 its been posted around here many times. Make sure you hit him up first you wont regret it!! You can also find him here as BelizeRoadrunner.
Thanks Oscar! You da man!!

Throwaway account for what will be obvious reasons, and apologies, but this is longer than intended.
I (38F) have recently decided to dip my toes back in to the flaming cesspool that is dating in this modern age. I joined an app, matched with a few guys, talked with a few less, and had a dinner date last night with F (40M) who I felt like I was vibing with via text.
F and I had agreed to meet last night at a nice but not stupidly-expensive steakhouse in a popular upscale district downtown. I had originally planned on driving my Jeep, but it has been at the shop for maintenance and they still hadn't finished by COB Friday. I live too far out of town for Uber to be reliable, so I decided to have fun and drive my new car that was just delivered this week. I got to the restaurant 45 minutes early, valet-parked (I would have done this with the Jeep too, parking in this district is a complete nightmare), and walked down the block to a stationary/book binding boutique I love to pick up a few things. When I walked back to the restaurant to meet F I was a little surprised to see my car was still parked out front of the restaurant in one of the reserved spots instead of being moved back to the designated lot. I asked and found out that the valet company policy was for any car over a certain value threshold be left in the reserved spots out front both to keep an eye on them, and so that the company wouldn't have the liability of a valet potentially damaging them driving. That made perfect sense to me, so I didn't ask them to move it to the back.
F met me at the host stand and after about five minutes got seated at our table. Hilariously to me, we got seated next to the window looking directly out at my car.
Dinner started off... ok? F started off pretty affable, but started making little comments early on about my dress, and what I ordered and how I wanted my steak cooked - he tried to insist to our server that I really wanted medium when I had ordered my steak cooked blue. I joked to the server that when I said I wanted my steak blue (for those who don't know, "blue" is extra-rare), that that might actually be too well-done for me, better just bring it out raw. The server laughed, but F was quiet.
Conversation after that was pretty one-sided. He did ask me "what do you do for a job" (my standard answer is working at an animal sanctuary. It's not technically a lie...), which he scoffed at and made a comment about how I "must not make any money doing that" and "are you sure you can cover your bill here?". I laughed it off, but definitely found it rude.
Once I asked him about his job he completely took over the conversation. He went on ad nauseam about his job in finance at a major corporation, but once he started in about what a great investment crypto is I knew for sure he wasn't getting a second date. Honestly, it felt like I was talking to someone completely different than who I had been texting, and I was not a fan.
I had ordered desert to go, when for some reason, probably trying to impress me? F pointed out the window at what just so happened to be MY car, saying that he was doing so well in crypto he had just picked it up at the dealership, and was getting another next week just because he could.
Now some important backstory: in my very early 20s I won a significant lottery jackpot. Initially I absolutely went stupid and was spending money like an asshole, but after a few months one of my uncle's (a self-made multi-millionaire) sat me down, made me run the numbers with him, and showed me how if I kept doing what I was doing I would be broke before I was 40. He helped me get a good financial planner, and to make long-term plans. As a result over time I've still been able to have and do pretty much whatever I want as long as I don't decide to do something stupid like have a jet for every week of the year, and my money has actually grown. I've helped my close friend's and family out (and only gotten burned once), invest in local small businesses, and donate to charities that mean something to me.
I now live on a large farm outside of our major Midwestern city. And while I do travel all around the world, I spend the majority of my time training and showing horses, as well as providing homes for horses that have been rescued from the slaughter pipeline and can't be repurposed back to work, or retired show horses that need a soft spot to land (and various other animals, like pigs, alpacas, and an absolute hoard of chickens. Someone offered me a giraffe once, and I had to politely decline). And yes, I do actually do a lot of the hands-on work myself, although I have other people who clean the stalls and help with the general caretaking of the retired crowd, which is why it's not really lying when I say I 'work at an animal sanctuary'.
Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the finer things in life like the latest tech and designer clothes, bags, and shoes, but as I've matured I tend to not go for the flashy "logo" option. Except for one thing...
I love fast cars. My daily-driver is a Jeep that I've had for 10 years, and I have a big truck for farm stuff (I didn't drive it to dinner because it is huge and will not fit in any of the garages downtown), but I also have a small collection of late-model Lamborghinis, starting with the Murcielago I bought during my "asshole spending" phase. I also have a Gallardo, an Aventador, a Huracan, and this week I finally had my Revuelto delivered after ordering it more than a year ago. The Revuelto is what I decided to drive to my date, because I just couldn't resist the excuse to drive the new toy.
Now, back to F trying to claim my car as his. On my best day I am a sarcastic bitch, and this opportunity was too much for me to pass up. I started playing along, asking him "omg, isnt that a Lambor-jeenie Hurricane?", which he confirmed it was, and "would he take me for a ride in it after dinner?" He said maybe on our second date he would.
Basically for the next 10 minutes until we settled our checks he bullshitted his way through my questions about the "Hurricane", and how he could help me invest in crypto so I could have nice things too, and "get some nicer clothes from somewhere better than Target, because my girlfriend should only wear designer". For the record, I love Target and have a lot of clothes from there, but I was wearing a dress from The Row to dinner and my bag and shoes were designer as well, just without obvious logos for him to pick up on.
We walked out of the restaurant together and he made a show of telling me and anyone who would listen (there was a small crowd looking at my car and taking pictures with it, which is fine with me as long as they dont lean/sit on it) that he had an errand to run and would be picking his car up from the valet later, but he would wait with me until my car got brought up. I agreed, walked away to the valet stand to pay my ticket, tip, and collect my keys. Then I walked over to my car, and watched his jaw hit the pavement as I opened the door. I said "by the way F, it's a Revuelto, definitely not a "hurricane", and not even a Huracan, but I have one of those too". Some of the people who had been looking at my car were laughing at F as I got in and drove off.
I had 17 texts when I got home from F, berating me for embarrassing him in front of people because I didn't tell him it was my car from the beginning. He also called me a fat bitch after I pointed out he never should have tried to say it was his in the first place and declined his invite to a second date...
Tl;dr I went on a date with a crypto-bro who didn't know I drove a Lamborghini, and he tried to pretend my car was his to impress me.
So AITA for letting him pretend my car was his, and then publicly showing him it wasn't?

Hallo, ich heiße Jana aus Österreich und träume schon seit meiner Kindheit vom Fliegen, deshalb habe ich mich entschlossen, Flugbegleiterin zu werden.Während meiner Schulzeit hatte ich den großen Wunsch, mit meinen Eltern mit dem Flugzeug in verschiedene Länder zu reisen und verschiedene Kulturen kennenzulernen.Eines Tages, auf einem Flug über Frankreich nach Thailand, traf ich eine schöne asiatische Flugbegleiterin.Mit ihrem auffälligen Äußeren erregte sie meine Aufmerksamkeit.Sie war sehr freundlich und schien ihren Job wirklich zu genießen, im Gegensatz zum üblichen Service der Flugbegleiter.
Manche Leute würden vielleicht sagen, dass sogar ihr Lächeln unecht war, dass es ein Lächeln für den Kundenservice war, aber ich fand, dass die schöne asiatische Flugbegleiterin mit dem Namensschild, auf dem „Gott“ stand, sehr cool war und dass sie sich sehr für ihren Job engagierte.Ich erinnere mich an diesen Tag, und ich glaube, er hat meinen Wunsch, Flugbegleiterin zu werden, wirklich gefestigt.Nach meinem Schulabschluss sah ich eine Stellenanzeige für eine Flugbegleiterin bei einer deutschen Fluggesellschaft und beschloss, es zu versuchen.
Glücklicherweise stammen meine Großeltern aus Deutschland, so dass ich Deutsch spreche und lange Zeit andere Sprachen gelernt habe, so dass ich keine Sprachprobleme hatte.
Als ich mich auf den Test und das Vorstellungsgespräch vorbereitete, wurde mir klar, dass es gar nicht so einfach war. Ich erkannte auch, warum das Selbstvertrauen, das ich verspürte, von meiner Schwester kam, einer asiatischen Flugbegleiterin namens „Shin“, die mich vor so langer Zeit dazu gebracht hatte, davon zu träumen, Flugbegleiterin zu werden: Eine Person, die schwierige Hindernisse überwunden hat, ist von Natur aus selbstbewusst.
Schließlich bin ich ein Mensch, der für einen Traum kandidiert, und ich musste hart arbeiten, um ihn zu verwirklichen. Zuerst musste ich das Bewerbungsverfahren bestehen, dann das Vorstellungsgespräch und den körperlichen Eignungstest bestehen.
Ich habe ein Jahr gebraucht, um mich so gut wie möglich vorzubereiten, um sicherzugehen, dass ich die richtige Person für die Stelle bin.
Mir wurde gesagt, dass nur einer von uns die Stelle bekommen würde, und ich war ein bisschen überwältigt, weil wir alle so gut aussahen und so selbstbewusst waren.
Als das Vorstellungsgespräch begann, herrschte eine ganz andere Atmosphäre: In diesem letzten Gespräch gab es keine schwierigen Fragen, bei denen man seine Fähigkeiten unter Beweis stellen musste, sondern man wurde aufgefordert, darüber zu sprechen, warum man Flugbegleiter werden wollte. Im traditionellen Vorstellungsgespräch wurden viele Faktoren objektiviert und bewertet, z. B. Dokumente, körperliche Fitness und Sprache, und nur diejenigen, die alle Anforderungen erfüllten, kamen in die Endrunde, so dass es mehr darum ging, warum man diesen Job machen wollte, als um die persönlichen Fähigkeiten.
Die anderen Bewerber, die ebenso selbstbewusst waren, spuckten ihre vorbereiteten Antworten wie eine Maschine aus: „Meine Leidenschaft für den Kundendienst, meine Fähigkeit, mehrere Sprachen zu sprechen“, und einer sagte: „Ich möchte Flugbegleiter werden, verschiedene Kulturen kennen lernen und unseren Fluggästen den besten Service bieten“.
Sie sahen alle professionell aus, als hätten sie sich jahrelang darauf vorbereitet, und sie waren definitiv fähiger als ich. Ich hatte das Gefühl, nicht in den Beruf des Flugbegleiters zu gehören, und war von ihrem Selbstbewusstsein und ihrer Selbstsicherheit überwältigt. Ich erinnerte mich an meine Schwester, eine asiatische Flugbegleiterin mit dem Nachnamen Shin, und wünschte mir, ich könnte so selbstbewusst sein wie sie.
Ich war nicht so selbstbewusst und selbstsicher wie meine Konkurrenten neben mir, und ich beschloss, statt nur so selbstbewusst zu sein, die Frage ehrlich zu beantworten und zu sagen, warum ich Flugbegleiterin werden wollte.
Ich begann langsam zu antworten und erzählte, dass ich seit meiner Kindheit mit meinen Eltern ins Ausland gereist war und all die coolen Flugbegleiter gesehen und für cool gehalten hatte, und dass der Beruf des Flugbegleiters faszinierend sei, aber dann, auf einem Flug von Frankreich nach Thailand, traf ich eine asiatische Flugbegleiterin und verliebte mich in ihr cooles und selbstbewusstes Aussehen. Sie erzählte mir, dass sie immer lächelte, und ich fand, dass sie eine sehr nette Persönlichkeit war, obwohl der lange Flug sehr anstrengend war, also sagte ich ihr, dass ich Flugbegleiterin werden und so nett und selbstbewusst sein wollte.
Ich klang nicht so selbstbewusst und durchsetzungsfähig wie die beiden Gesprächspartner neben mir, aber die Stimmung der Gesprächspartner war ganz anders.Der ältere Gesprächspartner berührte sogar seine Brille und sagte, dass ihm meine aufrichtige Haltung gefiel.Dann sahen die beiden anderen Gesprächspartner neben mir mich an, ihre Augen weiteten sich und sie starrten mich an.
Sie müssen geahnt haben, dass sie abgelehnt worden waren und ich die Stelle bekommen hatte, denn sie hatten absolut Recht - ich bekam die Stelle und die beiden anderen nicht.
Der Trend ist heute ein anderer als früher, Selbstbewusstsein und Selbstsicherheit haben keine Priorität, und ich habe festgestellt, dass Leute, die ehrlich sind, bessere Noten bekommen. Leute, die nur äußerlich gut aussehen und die Vorteile von kostenlosen Auslandsreisen sehen, aber ihre wahren Gefühle verbergen, werden meistens abgelehnt.
Das selbstbewusste und durchsetzungsfähige Auftreten von Flugbegleitern kommt von der unglaublich harten und zermürbenden Ausbildung, die sie durchlaufen, und es spielt keine Rolle, wenn die Interviewer nur nach außen hin selbstbewusst auftreten und selbstsicher wirken.
Um Flugbegleiterin zu werden, musste ich eine intensive Ausbildung absolvieren. Ich wurde in verschiedenen Bereichen wie Flugsicherheit, Erste Hilfe, Kundenservice usw. gründlich geschult. Einige Auszubildende waren den Tränen nahe, weil die Ausbildung so schwierig war. Während der Ausbildung habe ich jeden Tag mein Bestes gegeben, um meinen Traum zu erfüllen. Es gab Zeiten, in denen ich körperlich und geistig erschöpft war, aber ich habe nie aufgegeben.
Nach Abschluss meiner Ausbildung kam schließlich der Tag meines Jungfernfluges, an dem ich nervös, aber auch aufgeregt war, weil es ein Moment war, von dem ich schon lange geträumt hatte.Gemeinsam mit meinen Besatzungsmitgliedern konnten wir meinen Jungfernflug sicher durchführen.Es war sehr befriedigend zu sehen, wie die Passagiere mit einem zufriedenen Lächeln von Bord gingen.
Nach dem erfolgreichen Abschluss meines Jungfernflugs hatte ich die Gelegenheit, viele verschiedene Länder zu bereisen, und es war sehr interessant, die Kultur und die Bräuche der einzelnen Länder aus erster Hand kennen zu lernen.
Als ich zum ersten Mal in Japan ankam, war ich beeindruckt von der Ordnung und Sauberkeit der Stadt, den freundlichen Menschen und dem leckeren Essen, den belebten Straßen und den traditionellen Gebäuden in Tokio.
Sobald ich in Korea ankam, konnte ich die pulsierende Energie des Landes spüren: Die Straßen von Seoul waren voller Menschen, die sich mischten, und überall, wo ich hinkam, herrschte Leben und Lebendigkeit.
Und dann war ich jedes Mal, wenn ich einen Termin für eine Reise nach Korea hatte, sehr aufgeregt, und selbst wenn ich einen Termin für eine dreitägige Reise nach Japan hatte, fuhr ich in der Mitte der Reise für kurze Zeit nach Korea.
Meine Kollegen sagten: „Wozu soll das gut sein, wenn du später sowieso nach Korea fliegst“, aber ich verstand nicht, warum, denn ich liebte alles an Korea.
Und einer der Gründe, warum ich in so kurzer Zeit nach Korea reisen konnte, war, dass das öffentliche Verkehrssystem in Korea besonders gut ausgebaut war: Die U-Bahn und die Busse kamen pünktlich, alles war gut gewartet, und das System, bei dem man mit einer Karte alle öffentlichen Verkehrsmittel benutzen kann, war sehr bequem.
Nach einigen Besuchen in Korea, als ich wie immer mit meinen Kollegen durch Seoul spazierte, wurde ich Zeuge einer erstaunlichen Szene: Ich sah jemanden, der meiner asiatischen Flugbegleiterin sehr ähnlich sah, der Schwester, die mich dazu gebracht hatte, davon zu träumen, Flugbegleiterin zu werden.
Es war fast fünf Jahre her, dass ich sie gesehen hatte, und ich hatte einen starken Eindruck von ihr in meinem Kopf, so dass ich mich deutlich an sie erinnerte, aber jetzt, wo sie direkt vor mir stand, konnte ich mir dessen nicht mehr sicher sein.
Schließlich ging ich auf sie zu und fragte: „Sind Sie in der Luftfahrtbranche tätig?“ Ich fragte sie vorsichtig, und sie schaute sehr überrascht und sagte: „Kennen Sie mich? Sie sagte.
Ihr Name war Emma und ihr Nachname war Shin, ein koreanischer Nachname. Als sie 13 Jahre alt war, war ihre Familie nach Frankreich eingewandert, und seitdem lebte sie in Frankreich und arbeitete als Flugbegleiterin bei einer französischen Fluggesellschaft. Sie erzählte mir, dass sie jedes Mal, wenn sie nach Korea kam, das Lieblingsbrot und die Desserts ihrer Eltern kaufte und dann nach Frankreich zurückkehrte.
Ich erzählte meine eigene Geschichte und sagte, dass ich auf einer Familienreise über Frankreich nach Thailand war und sie zum ersten Mal im Flugzeug sah, und sie war so selbstbewusst und cool, dass ich davon träumte, Flugbegleiterin zu werden, und ich sagte ihr beim letzten Gespräch sogar, dass sie meine Schwester sei.
Wir hatten viele Gemeinsamkeiten, z. B. die Tatsache, dass wir beide Flugbegleiter waren, obwohl wir unterschiedliche Rassen und Nationalitäten hatten, und dass sie für eine französische Fluggesellschaft arbeitete, aber eigentlich Koreanerin war, und ich für eine deutsche Fluggesellschaft arbeitete, aber trotzdem Österreicherin war, so dass wir viele Gemeinsamkeiten hatten, z. B. den Schmerz, in einem fremden Land zu arbeiten.
Wir lernten auch unsere richtigen Namen kennen, nicht den französischen Namen Emma Shin, sondern den koreanischen Namen Shin Shin-sun, der sehr schwer auszusprechen war, aber ich übte ihren Namen und versuchte, sie Shin-sun zu nennen, und da es in Korea keinen Vornamen gibt, musste ich sie Shin-sun-ni nennen, was ich für gut hielt, weil es so leichter auszusprechen war.
Nach einer zufälligen Begegnung in Korea hinterließen wir einen so starken Eindruck voneinander, dass wir auch nach unserer Rückkehr nach Frankreich bzw. Deutschland in Kontakt blieben, unsere Flugpläne koordinierten und uns gegenseitig unsere Termine mitteilten, in der Hoffnung, uns in Korea zu treffen.
Und wie erwartet wurde mir, nachdem ich durch sie Korea kennengelernt hatte, klar, dass es ein anderes Korea gibt als das, das ich kannte.
Als ich allein nach Korea kam, habe ich das koreanische Essen nicht probiert, weil ich nicht viel über koreanisches Essen wusste, und selbst wenn ich es wusste, war es mir ein bisschen fremd, so dass ich es nicht so leicht herausforderte, aber in Korea mit meiner Zahnärztin war es einfach, koreanisches Essen herauszufordern.
Vor allem Kimchi, Bulgogi und Bibimbap, die mit verschiedenen Beilagen serviert werden, waren köstlich, und zwar nicht nur in Restaurants, die von ausländischen Touristen besucht werden, sondern auch in Restaurants, die von Einheimischen besucht werden.
Wenn ich ins Ausland reise, kaufe ich nicht oft Street Food, weil ich von meinen Senioren so viele Geschichten darüber gehört habe, wie das falsche Street Food Magenverstimmungen verursachen und den nächsten Flugplan völlig ruinieren kann, also vermeide ich es meistens, Street Food zu probieren.
Ich bin um die Welt gereist und habe in vielen Ländern Straßenessen gesehen, aber ich habe es immer als generell unhygienisch empfunden, und irgendwann habe ich aufgehört, mir Straßenessen überhaupt anzusehen, aber das Straßenessen, das ich in Korea sah, war nicht unhygienisch.
Natürlich ist es aufgrund der Tatsache, dass es unter freiem Himmel zubereitet wird und viel Verkehr herrscht, vielleicht weniger hygienisch als Essen, das in geschlossenen Räumen zubereitet wird, aber es war üblich, dass viel Wert auf Sauberkeit gelegt wurde, und ich dachte, dass es kein Problem sein würde, es zu probieren.
Und nachdem ich den Geschmack von Street Food kennengelernt hatte, probierte ich eine Menge Street Food mit den Zähnen und hatte nie eine Magenverstimmung.
Beeindruckt hat mich auch die Herzlichkeit und Freundlichkeit der Koreaner, die überall, wo ich hinkam, freundlich waren, und die Kultur des Respekts und der Rücksichtnahme. Es war schön zu sehen, dass sie nicht die heuchlerischen Europäer sind, die beim geringsten Anzeichen von Schaden für sich selbst sofort ihr sanftes Wesen ablegen und um sich schlagen.
Sie sagte, dass vor allem koreanische Männer sehr verständnisvoll und verständnisvoll sind, selbst wenn das Essen nicht dem entspricht, was sie bestellt haben, oder wenn sie mit dem Service unzufrieden sind. Sie sagte, dass koreanische Männer die ruhigsten und höflichsten Menschen sind und dass sie über kleine Fehler hinwegsehen können, so dass es gut ist, dies beim Fliegen zu wissen.
Als sie als Mittelschülerin nach Frankreich ging, sagte sie, dass sie zunächst dachte, dass die Europäer freundlicher und sanfter seien als die Koreaner, aber das war nicht der Fall, und sie erzählte uns von den vielen Dingen, die ihr passiert sind.
Wäre ich nicht schon einmal in Korea gewesen oder hätte ich nicht in der Dienstleistungsbranche gearbeitet, hätte ich vielleicht nicht nachvollziehen können, was sie durchmachte, aber ich verstand genau, was sie zu sagen versuchte: Es ist nicht leicht, mit den Ansprüchen weißer, männlicher europäischer Fahrgäste umzugehen, die dafür bekannt sind, anspruchsvoll zu sein, aber ich finde, koreanische Fahrgäste, vor allem die Männer, haben die besten Manieren der Welt.
Ich liebe Korea und sie liebt Korea, so dass wir uns gut verständigen konnten, aber sie schien Korea mehr zu lieben als ich. Obwohl sie Französin ist, schien sie Korea als ihr Mutterland zu betrachten, und obwohl sie aufgrund des Willens ihrer Eltern nach Frankreich eingewandert ist, konnte ich verstehen, dass ihre ganze Familie nach Korea zurückkehren möchte.
Ihre Eltern leben seit mehr als 20 Jahren in Frankreich und haben eine Rente an Frankreich gezahlt, und wegen dieser Rente waren ihre Eltern gezwungen, in Frankreich zu bleiben. Ihre Eltern haben sich für die Einwanderung nach Frankreich entschieden, um ihren Kindern ein besseres Umfeld zu bieten, und auch wenn sie auf dem Weg dorthin Entbehrungen und Schwierigkeiten erfahren haben, hielten sie es anfangs für richtig, aber Korea hat in der Zwischenzeit enorme Fortschritte gemacht, und jetzt haben sie nicht das Gefühl, dass Frankreich außergewöhnlich besser ist als Korea.
Sie sagt, dass sie jedes Mal, wenn sie nach Korea kommt, mehr und mehr darüber nachdenkt: Sie möchte unbedingt hierher kommen, aber es gibt viele praktische Probleme: Sie kann nicht einfach umziehen, wegen ihrer Arbeit, dem Wohnsitz ihrer Eltern und ihrer Situation, weder Französin noch Koreanerin zu sein. Sie sagte, dass sie sich, obwohl sie schon viel länger in Frankreich lebt, in Korea wohlfühlt und das Gefühl hat, dass sie sich hier gut einfügt, auch wenn sie sagte, dass das Französische für sie etwas einfacher ist, weil sie in jungen Jahren, als Mittelschülerin, hierher kam, aber aus meiner Sicht möchte sie in Korea bleiben.
Am Ende meines dreitägigen Aufenthalts bei ihr bestiegen wir unsere jeweiligen Flüge zurück nach Frankreich und Deutschland, und ich musste zu meinem Job als Flugbegleiterin zurückkehren, aber ich merkte, dass sie trauriger war, Korea zu verlassen, als ich es war, Korea zu verlassen.
Mir wurde klar, dass im Herzen der imposanten Französin Emma Shin, die mich dazu brachte, davon zu träumen, Flugbegleiterin zu werden, eine gutherzige Koreanerin, Shin Seon Shin, steckte.
Ich bin weit weg von meinem Land und arbeite nebenan in Deutschland, aber manchmal denke ich an zu Hause, und mein Herz ist in vielerlei Hinsicht hart, und meine Erklärung ist, dass es Menschen geben muss, die mehr leiden als ich.
Und wenn Korea oder Österreich ein rückständiges Land wäre, weit hinter Frankreich oder Deutschland, weiß ich nicht, ob ich überhaupt daran gedacht hätte, aber mein Kollege aus Tunesien sagte, dass es eine große Ehre sei, in Deutschland zu leben und gleichzeitig als Flugbegleiter zu arbeiten, und dass er sehr stolz sei und nie wieder nach Tunesien zurückkehren wolle.
Sie sagt, dass die Entscheidung ihrer Eltern vor über 20 Jahren, als Korea noch weit hinter Europa zurücklag, vielleicht klug war, aber jetzt stehen sie ihr sehr skeptisch gegenüber.
Ich hoffe, dass mein kleiner Held, Ui-sun-ni, in der Lage sein wird, seine komplizierten Gefühle zu ordnen, und ich bin auch froh, dass ich meine Gefühle mit Ui-sun-ni teilen kann, da ich die Kämpfe vieler Arbeitnehmer in Übersee nachempfinden kann.Dies war eine etwas schwere Geschichte, aber ich habe sie geschrieben, um Ihnen zu sagen, dass Sie Dinge finden sollten, die Ihnen Spaß machen, nicht zu deprimiert sein sollten und Ihr Leben genießen sollten.Ich beende diesen Beitrag, indem ich den Arbeitnehmern in Übersee mein tiefes Mitgefühl schicke.

Hey guys. I (16F) have a brother (13M) who was diagnosed with autism when he was a toddler.
I want to start off this post by saying that I'm not mad at him for being autistic, nor do I hate him. But I'm not sure if I can say that I love him right now.
I feel like certain elements of my childhood have been robbed due to having a special needs sibling. I understand there are people that have it worse than me and I also understand that my parents are doing their best to keep both me and my brother happy, but I can't help but resent my brother right now. There were certain things our family couldn't do when I was a kid such as amusement parks, long vacations, sports games, certain restaurants, etc. Those were simply a no-go due to my brother's autism. There were also times where I was having fun but we had to leave early because my brother was overwhelmed by the noise. I understand that's not his fault, but as a kid, I didn't really understand, so I would get mad at him for that
But now, our issues run deeper than having to leave a birthday party early. My brother has turned very manipulative and my mom keeps falling for it. For example, I got my drivers license earlier today and to celebrate my family and I were going to go to one of my favorite restaurants. That was until my brother threw a huge tantrum over having to put away his own damn laundry, which pissed my mom off, which eventually led to her yelling at ME and calling ME lazy, and our dinner outing was cancelled because my mom was in a bad mood and we couldn't trust my brother to behave. But here's the thing, whenever the day isn't about him, he gets like this. He threw a tantrum on my 16th birthday, so instead of having a good birthday, I spent the day feeling sad and angry. He also did this when I won an award for my 100+ hours of volunteering. He threw a tantrum, so on a day where I was supposed to be happy and proud of myself, I ended up feeling sad and angry. He's also done this on my 15th birthday, my dad's birthday, and pretty much any day that's not about him. At this point, I truly think he is doing it on purpose to take the attention away from me (or anyone that's not him) and on to him.
Not to mention, his tantrums are super manipulative. Whenever he gets in trouble for doing certain things such as talking back to my mom or dad, instead of accepting the consequences like a normal person, he says horrible things such as "I am the worst person ever" and sometimes he even threatens to kill himself. I know he doesn't truly think this way and I know he is only saying these things to make my parents feel bad for punishing him. It's gotten to the point where he gets away with doing and saying certain things that I would have never gotten away with simply because my parents are too tired to deal with his manipulative antics.
Which brings me to my next point. I can't even go a day without getting yelled at by my brother. If I even commit the horrible act of walking in the same room he's in. Whenever I do, I either get yelled at, or he looks at me with pure hatred in his eyes. I understand that sibling rivalry is a thing, but this is deeper than that. I truly believe he has a deep hate for me. For example, a few weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted to get food with me, and I got yelled at by him. I have to pretend it doesn't hurt, but it does. It hurts me a lot. It also hurts seing my friends and their siblings getting along so well, knowing that will never be me and my brother. But yet, here I am, hoping, like some sort of idiot.
Furthermore, he also throws these tantrums in public. A few months ago, I was downtown with my mom and my brother after doctors appointments, and we were going to grab lunch, but my brother started throwing one of his tantrums that led to him loudly crying like damn toddler in public. What makes it worse, there were people from my school who saw what was happening and were staring at us. As you could guess, we didn't get to go out for lunch. I just wanted to go home and bury myself in my room and never show my face at school again.
But the thing that truly hurts the most is that we used to have a good relationship. We used to play together, watch moves and TV together, go on bike rides together, and do normal sibling things with the occasional fights. We truly loved each other like normal siblings, but now whenever we're in the same room there's nothing but tension. I used to let it slide because I know that middle school and teenage years are rough, especially for an autistic person,but this has gone on for way too long. Whatt what I neglected to mention earlier, was that I also have mild autism myself. So I truly try to empathize with him and put myself in his shoes, but it's hard to do that when you're constantly being yelled at for everything you do and constantly being manipulated or watching your parents get manipulated.
I feel horrible for saying I don't love my brother, especially considering I used to have nothing but love for him and I also feel like I'm a horrible and impatient person, but I truly don't know what to do anymore. This is more than just "teen angst" this is pure hatred and manipulation.

I am the manager at a restaurant. I am closing a lot of the time. My dishwashers are not the best and take forever to close…trying to stay on the clock as long as possible. I’m talking 2-2 1/2 hours to close.
My management team has decided it is best “to stay on them.” I decided I will allow two dishwashers 1 hour to close and 1 dishwasher an hour and a half. Today one of them gets mad because they want to clean the floors. I told them, no, I told person B to do the floors. You can finish taking out all the trash. He walks away yelling. I tell him to clock out and go home. He continues to talk yell about how he doesn’t care…it doesn’t matter what I say… he will talk to the GM. He starts calling me the devil…saying he is a man of God. Directly in my face to the point I thought he was going to hit me. I tell him to leave. He refuses. I call security and have to have them escort him out. I tell him to not come in tomorrow either.
I am the only female manager. He does not act this way with the male managers who push them and stay on top of them about their work.
What do I do from here? Part of me wants to refuse to work with him again. He ignored multiple direct commands and was very aggressive. All of this in front of other employees.

Family owned Chinese restaurant. Been there for about 10ish months.
I kept trying to wait till I lined up another job but too much accumulated and I said fuck it and quit. I was always reliable and did the job to the best of my ability. I could take about 5ish tables at a time. I was average.

• They told me I could have more hours in the summer but then hired a new girl the week of my exams and wouldn’t give the hours anymore.
  
• The owner didn’t like me. She called me the wrong name. Snapped at me a lot. Would physically move me instead of asking me to move etc.
  
• The Sunday crowd was where I got most of the complaints. It’s old entitled middle class people who ate a fuck ton of the free fried chips wonton things.
  
• the new girl, who had only been there a month, complained about the way I did rags. She also tried to make me look bad by tattling. I told her this person is more strict than that person and apparently she told that person that.
  
• There was other shit but the final straw when my boss sent me a text Monday, my off day and Memorial Day. It was an angry paragraph with rude tone and a bunch of exclamation marks. It said what I was wearing was inappropriate even though I had worn it before and she hadn’t said anything. She also said someone complained about me even though I never heard anything about it. She said if I get one more complaint I’ll know I’m not meant for service. All of my complaints had come from shitty church people. I think I had 3 complaints in my 10 months.
  

Anyway, I said fuck this shit and gave a little less than a weeks notice. I have three job interviews coming up. One at a hotel restaurant that sounds pretty good.
I was planning on keeping that job when I got another one but tbh I think it was hindering me from getting a second job because of limited availability.
Kinda glad I quit. That drama isn’t my problem anymore.