Wording for goodbye party

I Took a Picture: Give and get feedback on photography

2009.07.07 15:00 noroom I Took a Picture: Give and get feedback on photography

A subreddit about photography techniques and styles. Post your work here to ask for critique, or browse the submissions and learn how photography techniques are achieved.
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2023.04.05 17:37 Electronic_Futur3 BFB fetish artists when Spongy: đŸ€€đŸ€€đŸ˜đŸ˜

Post all your BFB cringe here from now on! Say goodbye to BattleForCringeIsland, and say hello to CringeBFB! CringeBFB is going dark to protest Reddit's API price increase and the death of 3rd party apps. https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/ https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/5/23749188/reddit-subreddit-private-protest-api-changes-apollo-charges Update: ALRIGHT WE’RE BACK TO BEING PUBLIC
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2015.08.22 07:30 ohheyitsabe Disenchantment

This animated series from Matt Groening (The Simpsons, Futurama) follows the misadventures of a hard-drinking princess, her feisty elf companion and her personal demon. Netflix original.
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2024.05.19 02:36 some-guy124 35M and 31F are going "no contact" for three months; can I break this to request that she not sleep with ONE person in particular?

My ex GF (31F) and I (35M) are on a "break," meaning that we're doing a 3 month no contact period after which we'll touch base and see where each other's heads are at.
TLDR: my girlfriend of four and a half years and I are going on a break and won't contact each other for three months, we'll touch base then and see where both of our heads are at. There's one person I really hope she doesn't sleep with during that time, but I'm afraid that, number 1, she doesn't know how important that is for me, and that she'd wished I'd told her before she did it because I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to recover, and I'm afraid I'll DEEPLY DEEPLY regret not having told her.
We were together for four and a half years. She had things she wasn't happy about with our relationship, but she was ready to move forward with an engagement and having a family. I was on the fence, unable to commit, and so she asked me to move out.
We wrote each other letters in the day's after our break began, and the common denominator was that we both felt we've never loved each other more, or closer, or more well-understood than we did after all the tears and talks we had in our final 10-12 days living together.
I know I'm holding onto hope that we could work things out, and that we could move towards engagement and family, and I feel mostly-certain that she is too, though she's also expressed that she's felt hurt in ways that might be irreparable by some of what's gone on over the last few months of our time together.
Context first, then my question:
There's one person I was suspicious of her having slept with during a time that her and I were official or exclusive. She was adamant that she didn't sleep with him (though she would have been within her rights to do whatever she wanted), even though he comments on some of her photos sometimes, and I remember feeling strongly that she was acting a little awkward on the way to a party he was going to be at, and adamant then that she wasn't interested but that if anything she was going to introduce her sister to him (he's a few years younger). Side note - "I was going to hook my friend/sister up with him," feels like something every girl says to their partner about guys they secretly want.
I've never loved someone the way I love this person, in terms of the depth of our friendship and how tied we feel to each other, and I know she feels the same way, but it would ruin things for me to find out she'd slept with this guy during our time apart, and I've never been more scared of someone I love becoming someone I hate. There's something deep and profound about our friendship and connection and I'm deeply afraid of losing my ability to love her after feeling as betrayed as I'd feel from this. I feel like she should know that this would be a dagger to me, and not to do it, but I am also afraid that it's my fault for not communicating more clearly (because of how embarrassed I am to admit insecurities and vulnerabilities around jealousy, perhaps), and I'm wondering whether I should break our "no contact period" to ask that this one person be off limits, as it would feel tragic to both of us for what we have to be ruined this way. It won't be easy to think of her with other people, it'll sting like hell, but I could handle it, I just want this one person to be off limits.
Question: should I safeguard a potential future by breaking the no-contact to ask her please not to sleep with that one guy, or do I need to honor the no-contact and chance her doing something I don't know if I'd ever be able to recover from or forgive her for, and that she might wish I'd reached out about? That is, if you can take my word for it that she might also wish I'd told her how important this was to me.
I don't need anyone reminding me that I'm the one refusing to commit - I get that - and she's a grown, mature woman taking ownership of her journey, so nobody needs to protect her with their responses like she's a victim of anything because she certainly doesn't see herself that way.
submitted by some-guy124 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 02:30 zkidparks The guide to FOREVER (a photo/digital storage MLM)

Hello redditors of antiMLM,
Just this week, I received an email from a relation advertising FOREVER—not to be confused with Forever Living. Searching through this sub, I found a few short references over the last years with little detail. In one, a commentor described FOREVER stating "as mlms go, it seems ethical." Every red light went off while I looked into these “FOREVER Ambassadors.” I then began a search, with much of the ultimate work done by my spouse. It took longer than seemed acceptable to identify this MLM for people who glanced over the internet. FOREVER is not listed on any of the MLM databases I could find from this sub or elsewhere. Based on the mandatory “FOREVER Ambassador Community” on Facebook, now 8 years old, at least 2,500 people have gotten into their clutches at some point (I haven’t linked because I think it might be against the sub rules).
Thus, for the benefit and enjoyment of the people, here are references for the community to identify a yet-another-multi-level-marketing scheme. I am a sarcastic person, so be forewarned. All sources were publicly available and required no logins or access.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
STUDY OF FOREVER
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
FOREVER is an online service that advertises it can be a “permanent digital home that lasts for many generations.”[1] This is to be accomplished via a so-called “FOREVER Guarantee Fund” that invests to pay for digital storage for over 100 years.[1] Their website promises me that “permanent” is “not a buzzword”—I think that’s the Platonian ideal of a buzzword.[1] Regardless, this is not a quality review post.
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
The sellers used by FOREVER are called “FOREVER Ambassadors.”[2] As advertised, it looks like a classic MLM pitch. You can “earn up to 35%” commission” while having “the freedom to work from home, and the flexibility to make money on your own schedule.”[2] FOREVER lists various opportunities, such as “trainings” and the ability to “learn and grow with friends,” as well as “make life-long friends.”[2] As part of the “Meet our Team” webpage for corporate FOREVER, there are multiple “Executive Ambassadors” listed.[3] There is no barrier to entry on experience required to become an Ambassador.[4] I observed that, throughout the internet and on the FOREVER website, the vast majority of Ambassadors are women—as you know, many MLMs target women and moms.
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
FOREVER has, at minimum, an “Annual Ambassador Fee” that is the primary cost to entry of the program.[2] For $179 a year, one would receive “back office tools,” various marketing materials, and “countless opportunities”—maybe money, but more on that soon.[2] There is a link to an Ambassador’s own selling website.[5, at 22] This Ambassador fee “is subject to change over time.”[5, at 25] There is also a FOREVER Merchandise store where Ambassadors can get their supplies.[6] These include a 40-pack set of catalogs for $44.99 and a $144.99 tablecloth for potential customers during in-person events.[6]
For Ambassadors, FOREVER advertises there are “free training events.”[5, at 25] Each year, for $399 in 2024, Ambassadors can attend the 3-day “FOREVER Live!” event.[7] It is in the destination getaway of
 next to their headquarters in Pittsburgh, PA (I’m sorry Pittsburgh, you’re a beautiful city).[5, at 24] It is also possible to pay for a “p2P Virtual Party” and “p2P Live Events,” but is unclear what those mean.[5, at 5] Various “ranks” of Ambassadors receive a “monthly stipend” starting at $25 a month after $15,000 total in personal plus team sales a year.[5, at 9]
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
FOREVER pays its Ambassadors based on a “cash sales” versus “full sales” system.[5, at 5] The too-long-didn’t-read summary is that some products are paid less commission than others because of “margin” of different products.[5, at 5–6] Critically, the Personal Commission Rate is where our story kicks into gear. At the bottom, an Ambassador who sells less than $2,000 a year in sales receives the windfall of a 15% commission.[5, at 7] The number rises to 34% once sales are $90,000 or greater in one year (I don’t know where the 35% from earlier went).[5, at 7] However, to earn the 20% commission or more once one passes the $2,000 sales amount requires completion of the “FOREVER Ambassador Business (FAB) Training.”[5, at 7] I read it, more on that later.
You might ask, “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER¼ Ambassadors?” FOREVER says “no.”[8] However, the less one does the less FOREVER pays Ambassadors for what they do (this chart is older than the Compensation Guide cited).[8]
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
Of course, while it took forever to reach here, we come to the “downline” process—FOREVER’s words, not mine.[9] FOREVER immediately identified that new Ambassadors “choose another Ambassador to mentor you as you grow your business” (I do not know if this means an upline).[2] Nevertheless, “Team Sales” are compensated by FOREVER down to the 5th Line.[5, at 9] If an Ambassador does not build a team, then they do not earn Team Commissionable Cash Sales Commissions.[5, at 9] FOREVER states that getting new Ambassadors “to sign up under your name” is how you help “further your business.”[9]
However, even if an Ambassador builds a team, they receive a very restricted downline compensation if they do not make a minimum of personal sales.[5, at 9] For future reference, an “Associate Ambassador,” the bottom, makes less than $2,000 and earns no downline sales.[5, at 9] An “Ambassador,” second to last, is the first rank with a downline commission (4% for 1st Line), requiring $2,000/personal a year.[5, at 9] To reach “Senior Ambassador,” third to last, and above, a FOREVER Ambassador must start earning exponentially greater amounts of personal plus team sales to rise in the “ranks.”[5, at 9] A Senior Ambassador requires $8,000/personal but $15,000/gross, and is the first to get 2nd Line commission (4% for 1st Line and 2% for 2nd Line).[5, at 9] It is unclear to me if “new members” must be recruited “each month” to rankup—the website says so, but I see it nowhere in the Compensation Guide.[8]
At the top of hierarchy, there become two “Executive Ambassadors.”[5, at 9–10] These ranks start at $28,000/personal and $250,000/gross a year.[5, at 9] As well, one must have at least three “Team Leaders” in their 1st Line.[5, at 10] Team Leaders refers to Ambassadors who have themselves reached the rank of “Associate Lead Ambassador” ($12,000/personal and $30,000/gross).[5, at 9] FOREVER advertises that the Executive ranks are for—and I am not making this up—those Ambassadors who are “grooming FOREVER Leaders on your team below you.”[5, at 10] Irony is dead folks.
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
Because being paid to work is overrated, FOREVER will also provide “Additional Benefits” to its various ranks. As an Associate Ambassador, you can join the aforementioned Facebook Group and hear the CEO talk on a monthly phone call.[5, at 11] Regular Ambassadors also get a certificate to put on their wall.[5, at 11] Senior Ambassadors get a standing ovation at FOREVER Live!—you can even be ovated on stage as an Associate Lead Ambassador (I would pay $179 a year to not).[5, at 13–14] My observation is that a lot of ranks mostly provide additional types of standing ovations at FOREVER Live! and reserved seats for dinners there.
But then you can reach the pinnacle of Everest (that much like the real one, other people just carry you up there): the Million Dollar Club.[5, at 20] For making $1 million in personal and team sales in a year, one will earn a single $10,000 dollar bonus.[5, at 20] If you are then a “top-performing Ambassador,” one can be taken on the “Achievement Gathering,” to Jamaica in 2024, to mill around with other top-performing Ambassadors—and the corporate staff.[5, at 24] There is no mention how many people earn it or how much must be earned.[5, at 24]
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
I mentioned earlier that Ambassadors must complete a “FAB” training to receive more than 15% in commissions.[5, at 7] To hit this post home, I wanted to identify some highlights. The FAB training has 5 Steps to reach regular Ambassador status.[10, at 4] These Steps include such activities as “Meet with your Upline” (Step 1), “Connect with your Upline” (Step 2), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 3), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 4), and “Meet with your Upline” (Step 5).[10, at 7, 10, 12, 14, 16] You also have to join the FOREVER Facebook group and any created by your Team (just “ask your Upline” to find it).[10, at 6–7] There’s a task in Step 2 to create an introductory “Share List,” with five lines each for “Friends,” “Teachers,” and your own “Parents/Grandparents.”[10, at 7–9] For an unclear number of hours, you must attend multiple weekly and monthly “training opportunities” and “calls.”[10, at 6–7, 10] And one last item, to rank up in FOREVER, you must register for an upcoming event.[10, at 12] As of writing, the only one listed on the linked webpage is the $399 FOREVER Live! conference.[11]
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
I was unable to find an Income Disclosure Statement for FOREVER. However, basic math tells us that an Associate Ambassador, the bottom, can only earn up to $300 a year.[5, at 11] To reach regular Ambassador, which includes signing up and beginning all the time sinks listed above, the maximum personal commission is $1,200, in addition to whatever downline (however big those are on average).[5, at 11] Without a downline, even the top-bracket personal sellers are the only ones to earn more than $30,000 a year.[5, at 7] The Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis estimates that the Real Median Personal Income in the United States for 2022 was $40,480.[12]
There is one way to make it with FOREVER: to build a downline. It’s a multi-level-marketing scheme, and no one should join it. Unless of course, you want to join my downline—I promise you'll be rich just like me.
LIST OF REFERENCES
[1] “Our Story,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story
[2] “Become a FOREVER Ambassador,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/opportunity
[3] “Meet Our Team,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story/team
[4] “What is required of me as a FOREVER Ambassador?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215823437-What-is-required-of-me-as-a-FOREVER-Ambassador
[5] Ambassador Compensation Guide, FOREVER (Jan. 31, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/forevealbums/ambassador-kit/f3ii4wzeewd0nfwg4nb40kyw1/files/1043b0c6-de01-4aff-a1e3-83db7e6b1b17
[6] “FOREVER Merchandise,” FOREVER.com Ambassador Training (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.training.forever.com/store
[7] “FOREVER Live! 2024,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events/forever-live-2024
[8] “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER¼ Ambassadors?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215142548-Is-there-a-sales-quota-for-FOREVER-Ambassadors
[9] “Downline,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/221072448-Downline
[10] FOREVER Ambassador Business Training, FOREVER (May 14, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/ambassador-training/albums/02-forever-ambassador-business-training-booklet/qcg622q43zy6835w9ojq3wkw/files/f0bd2387-bb14-43a2-a46d-344a91470147
[11] “Events,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events
[12] “Real Median Personal Income in the United States,” Federal Reserve of St. Louis (accessed May 18, 2024), https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N
POST EDITS
A few formatting errors and a minor phrasing correction.
submitted by zkidparks to antiMLM [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 02:18 Sashcracker Stop the political frame-up of Ukrainian socialist Bogdan Syrotiuk!

By David North
On April 25, 2024, Bogdan Syrotiuk, the 25-year-old leader of the Young Guard of Bolshevik-Leninists (the YGBL), a socialist-Trotskyist organization active in Ukraine, Russia and throughout the former USSR, was arrested by the notorious state security service of the fascistic Zelensky regime, the SBU. Bogdan is being held in atrocious conditions in a high security prison in the city of Nikolaev (Mykolaiv), which is located in southern Ukraine.
The International Committee of the Fourth International (ICFI), the world Trotskyist movement with which the YGBL is politically affiliated, has finally obtained the actual documents in which the SBU presents its charges against Bogdan Syrotiuk. These documents, which form the basis of his detention, make absolutely clear that Bogdan is the victim of a monstrous state frame-up. The allegations concocted by the SBU are a crude combination of lies, obvious fabrications, and political absurdities.
Moreover, the documents submitted by the SBU are directed not only against Bogdan. They are nothing less than a declaration of war against all left-wing and socialist opposition to the Zelensky regime and, specifically, the International Committee of the Fourth International and its public organ, the World Socialist Web Site.
The central allegation leveled against Bogdan Syrotiuk is that he is guilty of high treason. The basis of this charge is that Bogdan has been for the past two years “engaged in the preparation of publications commissioned by representatives of a Russian propaganda and information agency, the World Socialist Web Site” [emphasis added.]
The World Socialist Web Site is denounced as an instrument of “an active information war against Ukraine” being waged by Russia, which
uses the so-called “left-wing” propagandists and their information platforms (websites, media and social platforms) to discredit the support of Ukraine by international partners, justify Russia’s armed aggression against Ukraine, accusing Western countries of creating conditions under which Russia was forced to launch the so-called special military operation, fomenting wars in Ukraine by providing it with weapons, etc. As a result, they are used by Russia to systematically convey pro-Kremlin narratives to the population of Ukraine and Ukraine’s allied countries

Since the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the World Socialist Web Site “WSWS” has regularly published articles in various languages aimed at discrediting Ukraine and representatives of governments around the world for assisting Ukraine in its fight against the aggressor state.
The ICFI’s opposition to the US-NATO war in Ukraine is an essential element of its political program, deeply rooted in the socialist and internationalist principles of the Trotskyist movement. The attempt of the Ukrainian regime to portray this opposition as an instrument of Putin’s propaganda network is as viciously mendacious as it is politically absurd. The intransigent opposition of the International Committee of the Fourth International to the Putin regime—which emerged as a consequence of the Stalinist bureaucracy’s final betrayal of socialism and the restoration of capitalism in the former USSR—is a fundamental political fact that is substantiated not only in written texts numbering in the hundreds, but also in the exhaustively documented activity of the Trotskyist movement spanning decades.
True to its fascist character, the Ukrainian regime is operating on the basis of the well-known precept of Hitler and his propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels: “The bigger the lie, the more readily it will be believed.”
In this particular case, the Zelensky regime seems to believe that the scale of the SBU lies are of such a magnitude that they will simply overwhelm the thinking public. It thus expects that public opinion will accept that the Putin regime is directing the work of the WSWS, which the SBU indictment describes as
an online publication of the world Trotskyist movement, the International Committee of the Fourth International and its affiliated sections in the Socialist Equality Parties around the world, which covers the main socio-political problems around the world from the position of revolutionary opposition to the capitalist market system, with the aim of establishing world socialism through socialist revolution.
At no point does the SBU attempt to explain the contradiction that wrecks its case against Bogdan, i.e., that the political principles that he upholds as a socialist and internationalist opponent of wars waged by the capitalist ruling class are irreconcilably hostile to the policies of the Putin regime, including its invasion of Ukraine.
It attempts to evade the contradiction by simply lying. The indictment claims that Bogdan’s activities, “acting on the instructions of a representative of the World Socialist Web Site,” consisted of “supporting and justifying the conduct of the Russian aggressive war on the territory of Ukraine
”
Every word is a lie. The opposition of the ICFI, its affiliated organizations, and the WSWS to the Russian invasion, in line with its hostility to the Putin regime, is a political fact that is documented in hundreds of articles that have been posted since the first day of the invasion.
On February 24, 2022, the day of the Russian invasion, the ICFI posted a statement on the WSWS titled: “Oppose the Putin government’s invasion of Ukraine and US-NATO warmongering! For the unity of Russian and Ukrainian workers!” It began:
The International Committee of the Fourth International and the World Socialist Web Site denounce the Russian military intervention in Ukraine. Despite the provocations and threats by the US and NATO powers, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine must be opposed by socialists and class-conscious workers. The catastrophe that was set in motion by the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991 cannot be averted on the basis of Russian nationalism, a thoroughly reactionary ideology that serves the interests of the capitalist ruling class represented by Vladimir Putin.
What is required is not a return to the pre-1917 foreign policy of tsarism, but, rather, a revival, in Russia and throughout the world, of the socialist internationalism that inspired the October Revolution of 1917 and led to the creation of the Soviet Union as a workers state. The invasion of Ukraine, whatever the justifications given by the Putin regime, will serve only to divide the Russian and Ukrainian working class and, moreover, serve the interests of US and European imperialism.
In the two major statements that he has made during the past week, Putin has justified his actions by enumerating the provocations and crimes of the United States. There is, no question, much that is factually true in his denunciation of Washington’s hypocrisy. But the viciously anti-communist and xenophobic ideology that he invokes and the interests that he claims to be defending are thoroughly reactionary and incapable of appealing to the broad mass of the working class in Russia, let alone in Ukraine and throughout the world. A substantial section of the working class in Russia and Ukraine will be repelled by the cynicism of Putin’s glorification of the heroic struggle waged by the Soviet Union against Nazi Germany in World War II while denouncing the October Revolution and the existence of the USSR as a multi-national state.
The ICFI insisted that the socialist opposition to imperialism was incompatible with any form of national chauvinism, and, therefore, rejected all the justifications given by the Putin regime and its apologists for the invasion. Their invocation of “national defense” could not be accepted by socialists. The defeat of imperialism and its overthrow was possible only through the revolutionary struggle of the international working class. The ICFI statement cited the words of Trotsky: “Not to bind itself to the national state in time of war, to follow not the war map but the map of the class struggle, is possible only for that party that has already declared irreconcilable war on the national state in time of peace.”
The ICFI called “for an immediate end to the war,” and explained: “In opposing the invasion of Ukraine, we denounce the policies of US/NATO imperialism, whose claims to be defending democracy and human rights are blood-drenched with hypocrisy.”
This political declaration elaborated the principles and policy that have guided the work of the ICFI and WSWS since the war began.
On February 26, 2022 the International Committee held an international webinar, in which its opposition to the war was emphatically advanced. Among the speakers, in addition to myself, were Nick Beams, a longtime leader of the International Committee’s Australian section, Johannes Stern, a leader of the ICFI in Germany, Thomas Scripps, a leading member of the ICFI’s section in Britain, Joseph Kishore, the national secretary of the Socialist Equality Party in the United States, and Evan Blake, another leading member of the SEP (US).
The ICFI has never wavered from the principled opposition to the policies of NATO and Russia that it advanced in the first days of the war.
The relationship between the ICFI and the comrades of the YGBL coincided almost exactly with the outbreak of the war. They were attracted to the ICFI precisely because of its opposition to both the war and the national chauvinism of the Russian and Ukrainian regimes.
The SBU indictment charges that the World Socialist Web Site assigned to Bogdan “the task of preparing, writing, editing and publishing 
 both on the WSWS website and other communist-oriented media, articles, publications, comments, etc. aimed at spreading pro-Russian narratives related to the armed aggression of the Russian Federation against Ukraine, which began on February 24, 2022, to which [Bogdan Syrotiuk] gave his voluntary consent.”
In support of this claim, the SBU references a YGBL statement titled, “For the organization of an international movement of workers and young people against war!” It claims that this document, posted on the World Socialist Web Site on October 12, 2022, includes “fragments, statements, sentences and phrases
 which contain justification of the armed aggression of the Russian Federation, which began in 2014
”
The actual document clearly exposes this claim to be a lie. There is not a single sentence in the YGBL declaration that indicates support for the invasion of Ukraine. The SBU cites selectively from the document, including passages only from numbered paragraphs 4, 7, 8, 10 and 13. Paragraphs 4 through 8—the SBU interrupts the continuity of the YGBL’s analysis by leaving out paragraphs 5 and 6—provide a concise Marxist explanation of the objective capitalist crisis and political aims that underlay the instigation of the war by the United States and its NATO allies. They state:
  1. The new world order that the United States wants to establish looks like this very possible picture: Russia and China are to be subordinated to imperialism and divided, if that is necessary to maintain direct control over their natural, industrial-technological and human resources.
  2. The European imperialist powers support the United States for their own place in the new redivision of the world. At the same time, European imperialism, while placed on rations by the United States, sees a way out of its economic and geopolitical predicament only in a redivision of the world in which it can regain its former greatness.
  3. Japan, South Korea and Australia support the US only as much as it suits their interests in the struggle against China in the Pacific region. These countries will support the US as long as it allows them to compete with China. The process of dividing spheres of influence will revive the contradictions between the Pacific capitalist powers, which are as much in limbo as Europe.
  4. The crisis of 2008 revived class struggles around the world. The Arab Spring of the early 2010s is vivid evidence of this revival. It forced US and European imperialism to take more decisive measures. In 2014, they supported a coup d'Ă©tat in Ukraine. Through this coup, the US was able to create all the conditions to build a bridgehead in a future war against Russia.
  5. The Covid-19 pandemic that erupted in 2020 exacerbated the contradictions of capitalism and was the trigger for a more rapid expansion of US imperialism in preparation for war against Russia and China. The US embarked on a more provocative path of abandoning the “one-China” policy, and increasing its support for Ukraine, as expressed in the NATO summit in August 2021, which supported Zelensky’s “Crimean platform.”
Significantly, the SBU leaves out paragraph 9 of the YGBL declaration, which presents a scathing indictment of the Putin regime. That paragraph reads:
The reactionary regime of Vladimir Putin emerged from the treacherous dissolution of the Soviet Union by the Stalinist bureaucracy and the restoration of capitalism. The policies of Putin, in the final analysis, are aimed at safeguarding the wealth of the post-Soviet oligarchy against the pressure of Western imperialism from above and, even more critically, against the movement of the Russian working class from below.
The SBU does cite paragraph 10, which continues the critique of the Putin regime, stating:
Within this geopolitical and social context, Putin’s adventurist invasion of Ukraine on February 24 was the Russian oligarchy’s response to NATO’s relentless expansion to the east. The Putin regime’s main objective was to achieve through the pressure of its “Special Operation” a new round of talks with the US-NATO, since the last round ended up crossing “red lines” on the part of the US-NATO, which caused Putin’s invasion [emphasis added].
The characterization of Putin’s invasion as “adventurist” is in no way compatible with what the SBU claims to be a “pro-Russian narrative.” Obviously recognizing the fragility of its attempt to portray the YGBL statement as pro-Putin propaganda, the SBU decided against further citations from the document, leaving out the YGBL’s development of its denunciation of Putin’s policies in paragraphs 11 and 12, which assert:
  1. The Russian bourgeoisie’s desire for an “equal partnership” with the West was one of the most utopian delusions. This delusion, historically derived from Stalin’s policy of “Popular Fronts” and then “peaceful coexistence,” developed among the fledgling class of Russian capitalists in the 1990s.
  2. The Putin regime has not gotten rid of this utopian delusion. Its whole policy has been to maneuver and seek compromise with the West, with whom the Russian oligarchy wanted to be “on equal footing.” Except that Western imperialism, with its conquering ambitions for Russia, did not care about these conciliatory tones of Putin’s regime.
The SBU also chose not to cite paragraph 17 of the YGBL statement, which declares:
The course of the war after Putin’s invasion of Ukraine increasingly emphasizes the reactionary nature of this invasion. While claiming to be fighting for the independence of the Russian people from the threat of Western imperialism, Putin is in fact only defending the independence of the Russian oligarchy to exploit the Russian working class and the country’s raw material wealth.
Paragraph 18, which is also left uncited, further demolishes the SBU’s indictment of Bogdan, the YGBL and the WSWS as instruments of Russian propaganda. The paragraph asserts that
the Putin regime has no way out of the current crisis for Russian society. It will not have such a way out in the future. All of the military and political activities of the Putin regime will only contribute to the escalation of Western imperialism and the deterioration of conditions for the Russian, Ukrainian and international working class.
The SBU also failed to cite paragraphs 19 and 20, which presciently warned of the catastrophe to which the war could lead.
  1. The prospects for the present war, when thought within the framework of the capitalist system, are very bleak. First, this war will take on a long-term character and will not only be fought between Ukraine and Russia. It is the first step in inflaming the world situation to the point that the threat of a third world war is simply inevitable. All countries of the world will take part in the future war.
  2. Secondly, the nature of the war will be determined by the policies of the ruling classes, which now stand on a blatantly anti-human position. The ruling classes are recklessly moving toward the use of nuclear weapons in the conflict, thereby creating the real possibility of a nuclear Armageddon. The specter of planetary destruction arises from the insane policies of imperialist and capitalist governments. The recklessness of the ruling capitalist elite compels young people to ask whether they will be allowed any future at all.
The SBU specifically cites this document as proof of Bogdan Syrotiuk’s treasonable activity. But the text of this document conclusively refutes the charge that Bogdan and the YGBL are advancing a pro-Putin narrative.
Moreover, and most decisive, the Ukrainian regime does not present a scintilla of evidence to substantiate its absurd and lying claim that the World Socialist Web Site is a “Russian propaganda and information agency.” With this filthy slander, the Zelensky regime betrays—notwithstanding the ongoing war with Russia—the lingering influence of Stalinism’s rabid hatred of Trotskyism. As in Russia, the transfer of power in Ukraine from Stalinist bureaucrats to capitalist oligarchs has not required any change in the methodology of the political police. The same techniques of fabrication and slander, utilized by the Stalinist regime against Trotskyists in the era of the Moscow Trials and the terror of 1936-39, remain operative in Kiev.
Bogdan Syrotiuk stands accused of treason and faces the threat of a life-long prison term that is the equivalent of a death sentence. But the allegations against Bogdan are based entirely on articles and speeches he has posted on the World Socialist Web Site, in which he has declared his opposition, as a socialist internationalist, to the capitalist regimes of Zelensky and Putin and the ongoing war that has cost hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian and Russian lives.
The SBU indicts Bogdan for advancing in his speeches and writings posted on the World Socialist Web Site “which are accessible to everyone in the world, including citizens of Ukraine” information that exposes the reactionary character of the Ukrainian regime and the war.
The SBU declares that Bogdan’s “criminal actions were stopped only with the intervention of a law enforcement agency.” What a devastating self-exposure of the claims that the US-NATO proxy war is being waged to defend democracy in Ukraine.
The reality is that Ukraine is a fascistic dictatorship, which applies police methods to stop the expression of popular opposition to the policies that have brought untold suffering and death to the people.
The arrest of Bogdan Syrotiuk comes precisely at a point of mounting popular opposition to the Zelensky regime. On May 18, a new and vastly unpopular mobilization law that will vastly expand the recruitment dragnet of Ukrainian military goes into effect. Even the New York Times has expressed doubts about Zelensky’s ability “to find new troops to relieve a weary, often demoralized force.”
In an article posted on the World Socialist Web Site on April 30, Maxim Goldarb, a Ukrainian socialist who has been persecuted by the Zelensky regime, reported: “More and more Ukrainian men are desperately trying to flee the country, unwilling to die for someone else’s selfish purposes.”
He added:
It is not the rich minority, but the poor majority—the unemployed, workers, peasants, teachers, doctors, office workers—that will be sent into the bloody meat grinder. Now, with the adoption of the new law, the number of men deprived of basic human rights, who will be captured and hunted down like animals and sent to the front, will increase many times over.
The profits of those who benefit from this war will also increase many times over 
 These huge profits will be divided up between the military-industrial complex, its lobbyists in the American and European establishment, and the Ukrainian oligarchic top brass.
Bogdan Syrotiuk’s life is in danger. In the environment of terror that exists within Ukraine, he is deprived of all means to defend himself. Efforts to obtain competent legal representation have been undermined by government threats against defense lawyers. No less than five attorneys have declined to represent Bogdan because to do so would expose them to significant physical danger.
The significance of the fight to defend Bogdan and secure his freedom extends beyond Ukraine. His incarceration is yet another example of the growing international assault on democratic rights as imperialism escalates its military operations throughout the world. The political conspiracy to destroy Julian Assange set into motion a process that is replicated throughout the world.
Those who oppose and expose the crimes of the imperialist regimes are targeted for persecution by the state. The assault on basic democratic rights—first and foremost, freedom of thought and speech—is always justified on the basis of lies.
The opponents of Israel’s genocidal war against Gazans are denounced as anti-Semites, even when the protesters are Jewish. In the denunciation of Bogdan Syrotiuk as an agent of Russia for opposing the proxy war in Ukraine, the same lying method is at work.
The real reason for the arrest and persecution of Bogdan Syrotiuk is that he is fighting for the unity of the Ukrainian, Russian and international working class against the ruling capitalist elites of all countries. As Comrade Andrei Ritsky of the Russian branch of the Young Guard of Bolshevik Leninists explained so eloquently in a speech delivered at the May Day 2024 celebration held by the International Committee:
The only “crime” that Bogdan committed was his conviction that Ukraine can become truly free only through the independent struggle of the Ukrainian working class, acting together with the international working class against imperialism and war. He advanced a principled political position based on a Marxist understanding of the war, opposed to the fanatical worship of Ukrainian nationalism as well as the reactionary Russian nationalism of the Putin regime. Like our entire movement, he has fought for the unification of workers in Russia and Ukraine with the workers in the imperialist countries, to put an end to a fratricidal war that has claimed the lives of at least half a million Ukrainians and tens of thousands of Russians.
He concluded his remarks with a declaration of the fundamental perspective that underlies the work of the Fourth International:
No bourgeois regime is capable of resolving the crisis other than through war and destruction, because any other way would be contrary to its fundamental capitalist interests. The contradictions of capitalism cannot be resolved within national borders and on the basis of a defense of private property. Only the international working class armed with the program of world socialist revolution will be able to put an end to the wars and resolve the fundamental crisis. To do so, however, it must fight for its unity with its brothers and sisters around the world.
The International Committee of the Fourth International calls for a global campaign to demand the immediate release of Bogdan Syrotiuk from prison. The fight for Bogdan’s freedom must be taken up by workers, students and all those who are committed to the defense of democratic rights and opposed to the escalation of imperialist wars that, unless stopped, threaten humanity with a nuclear catastrophe.
Join the fight to Free Bogdan. Circulate this statement as widely as possible on social media. Bring this case to the attention of co-workers, fellow students, and friends. To sign a petition demanding Bogdan’s release, contribute funds toward the defense campaign, and become personally active in the fight for his freedom, go to wsws.org/freebogdan.
submitted by Sashcracker to Trotskyism [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 02:15 thesheepshepard Roland Arryn, Knight of the Gate

PC

Reddit Account: u/TheSacredGroves
Discord Tag: justinkayce
Name and House: Roland, of House Arryn
Age: 28
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: Tall, lean, well-muscled, handsome, fair - Roland is the portrait of a Knight of legend, of the Winged Knight come again. Harsh sky-blue eyes, severe cheekbones, and the familial aquitaine nose give him a cold and distant look - but one frequently broken by his warm and gentle smile. He keeps his pale-blonde hair long and his jaw clean shaven, accentuating the lines of his face. Roland is always neat and clean, his armour burnished and his threads well-tailored and fashionable.
Trait: Blademaster
Skill(s): Swords (e), Andal Knight (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talent(s): Dancing, Hawking, Singing
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): Knight of the Gate
Starting Location: King's Landing
Alternate Characters: n/a

Bio-Timeline

Family Tree

AC

Name and House: Marla of Gulltown
Age: 34
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: Broad and strong with well-calloused hands, Marla is as obvious a blacksmith as Roland is a knight. She keeps her brown hair tied severely back, framing her dour face with its squinting brown and wide mouth that wears an almost perpetual frown.
Trait: Artisan (Weapons)
Skill(s): Craftsman (e weapons; e armor)
Talent(s): Whittling, singing, maintenance of arms and armour
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): King's Landing
Starting Location: Master of the Armoury of the Bloody Gate

Timeline

Supporting Characters

submitted by thesheepshepard to ITRPCommunity [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:51 StuckinLoserville Free Candice? From Herself?

I've Been Doing a Lot of Whatever the Fuck I Want Lately and I Like It
It's the day of Ayonna's Zoom court hearing so she's thinking about survivalist jailhouse makeup hacks. They've improved since women used to use scraped paint chips off their cell walls as face powder, dampened red paper as rouge, permanent markers for eyebrow pencils, Kool-Aid doubling as hair dye and blush, and M&Ms as lipstick because deprivation causes innovation for self-preservation. That and Jamahl's excruciatingly murky explanation of his 2-year wedding day gap even though he's as open a book as a text at a class final that provides no specific answers to a general essay question. It's not that he wants to delay a ceremony displaying his love for Shellfish publicly; it's about financing a befittingly royal wedding for the ghetto version of Prince Charles and the late Diana Spencer to whom the masses must bow down, and that includes the judge who simply doesn't understand the trials and tribulations of a multi-tasking single mother with behavioral problems negotiating her child's breakfast.
Court: . . . will continue matter until she can show up in court next week since we are clearly inconveniencing her. 🙄
Ayonna: I'm just a single mother with no help. You're not going to tell me I can't feed my daughter; that's never going to happen. Is it ok if I give my daughter breakfast?
Court: We are in court here. This is a court proceeding. ⚖
Ayonna: Ok. Just be hungry. 😏
Four years probation because the judge's gnarly attitude is taking it out on me? Girl, what are you talking about? Bitch, you're gonna' tell me I can't feed my daughter? She can kiss my ass! I'm livid. Livid! đŸ€Ź
Jamahl: At the end of the day filled with dickheads, we still gotta' bite our tongues.
I'm not selfish; I've just decided that taking your feelings into consideration is too much damn work.
Keep Your Head High and Your Middle Finger Higher
For someone more accustomed to being abused than amused, Candice has said "I love you" to Andrew more times than the repetitive phrase, turn down for what, in the party anthem by DJ Snake and Lil Jon of the same name. While Andrew, true to his word, kneels and immediately proposes, Candice hesitates, and in that moment, resembles a raw double-chinned Pillsbury dough girl with an unnatural sheen, a face too sunken in its gravity to show happiness, and sad raisin eyes reflecting physical distress. But Andrew doesn't clock any of this; he's carrying out his promise to Candice's mom in a dream he made up though she has more eyes on her truck as she doubtless recalls her fond days of street racing, driving without a license, attempted stolen vehicle, felony burglary and constantly running from the police. If she were wearing cargo pants, she could stuff them with the faux Louis Vuitton handbag contents to savor as she completes her halfway house program so she can change addresses. If he could see past his own needs, he'd notice she was trying to figure where the hell he got the idea she cared. If I've cut you, it's because you handed me the scissors.
Patience: What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
Joey is taking advice from Minerva, a sex columnist who looks like Chris Farley in drag who was super stoned and wandered into the backrooms of "Saturday Night Live" for a costume change and makeup refresh before rehearsing his Fellatio 101 sketch outlined on a chalkboard: Watch amateur porn for tips. Practice dirty talk. Get excited about being excited. Use both hands simultaneously and don't bogart that spit. Don't forget, steady wins the race. Freshen up before getting online and spending money for a rented motel room far away from your parents so you can have 15 minutes of precious sexy time before your monogamous lover warns you to deactivate your online profile that his friend saw. Hey, I found your nose; it was in my business.
The King Eats First
Once again, the kids are savvier than their parents. A striking Cheyenne and Nehemiah adjust their schedules to Rob's extended sentence that Tennie tries to embroider in her naïveté while every family member is worried about their displacement when Rob physically enters the picture even though he's already there in camera spirit. It's a which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg question - is it a good thing the alpha male has streams-of-revenue for Tennie's shopping jones or is she shopping because she's worried about getting with an alpha male? He's a poker king like Marcelino making 6-7K a month in jail even though online playing for real money is prohibited, and I doubt his pod mates have that kind of extra cash regularly available. Any man in this day and age who can tell a woman to "sit down and be cute" must have it figured out as a lion doesn't care about a sheep's opinion. I bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.
Does One of Your Balls Hang Lower Than the Other?
Rick looks like a twig the wind blew off a tree or a stranded lost lamb in a field surrounded by hungry landlocked predators looking for a banquet. Sandy is sending him pictures of the reunion to remind him of her existence while 4x-married Samantha is positioning herself to long-distance bullrope and hog tie her bachelor into a ball-and-chain before he has time to think about how he's going to stretch a rigorously set pension into providing her commissary and visitation requests. His pickleball buddy, Dan, doesn't really give a damn; it's only his nieces who are rightfully tut-tutting her dictatorial attitude and snarking, "Fifth time is a charm." "Maybe I do have options," Rick muses, but then turns around and crows, "She builds me up." Sure, right after she shakes him up - like a snow globe. It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble; It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
submitted by StuckinLoserville to loveafterlockup [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:48 Mafoo343 Starcraft LAN Party at Way Library 6/12/24 6:00pm-8:30pm

Way Library is hosting another one of its Starcraft LAN parties in the Technology Lab on 6/12/24 from 6:00pm-8:30pm. Registration for the event has just opened up and as of the time of this writing, still has ten slots left. If you're interested you can sign up via the link below or at the registration desk.
https://waylibrary.libcal.com/event/12353810
This time around, the library has upgraded to newer computers. Game formats will include both co-op and PVP. Just as an FYI though, the head of the event said the library's earbuds aren't the best, so if you want to keep your game audio to yourself, you may want to bring your own headphones.
The head of the event plans to continue having LAN parties for this and other games in the future. For example, all of the computers also have the original Unreal Tournament installed on them. If there is any game the community is interested in playing at a LAN party in the future, you may want to consider bringing it up to Travis McAfee as he is open to future suggestions. If there is sufficient demand, it could help open up some cool new events.
This event is still a few weeks out, so if you know anyone that would be interested in attending, feel free to spread the word. I look forward to seeing you all there :)
submitted by Mafoo343 to toledo [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:43 New_You2753 [xb1] H these railways any offers?

[xb1] H these railways any offers? submitted by New_You2753 to Fallout76Marketplace [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:42 nevertoolate1983 Using bolded letters to read quicker

Using bolded letters to read quicker submitted by nevertoolate1983 to Ytqaz2019 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:37 Legendlam1 20 [M4F] Just a hopeless romantic looking for someone to call mine California/anywhere m

About me:
I am a 20 year old 5’ 6” asian guy who is kind of slim but working to put on some more muscle. I guess my family would say I am handsome, but they’re required to say that so maybe you should check the picture in my profile to find out for yourself. I would say I’m a kind, caring person who just likes to enjoy the simple things in life and spending time with people who I care about. My main love language is words of affirmation and quality time probably since I didn’t get too much growing up.
Some interests/hobbies of mine are gaming, going for walks, exercising/playing sports, and watching tv shows or anime. Some of the games I like are league of legends, teamfight tactics, valorant, Minecraft, overwatch, super smash bros, animal crossing, and Pokémon.
Personality wise I would say I’m quite shy and introverted, but warm up over time. I’m more of a homebody but I still like to go out sometimes, just not to parties or that sort of thing. I am also not the best at conversations. I feel like I try so hard to keep the conversation moving, but it doesn’t always happen, so if we chat I will request your patience. I have been in one relationship, but it was all online and when I was younger. I have not been physical with anyone and haven’t even had a first kiss yet. Because of this, I might not know how or what to do, so I hope you can show me or have patience and we can find out together :).
About you:
I hope you’re a kind, caring 18-23 year old person. I’d like to be somewhat attracted to you. I hope you stay in shape and also focus on your health since that is important to me. I guess your hobbies and interests don’t matter too much since we don’t need to do everything together, but some similar ones would give us something to talk about or do if we stay online for a while. And I know I am a bit shorter than average and it’s not usually everyone’s cup of tea (hopefully you can prove me wrong), but I don’t mind if you’re taller or shorter than me.
Anyways, thanks a lot for reading all this. If you send me a message you don’t have to tell me as much as this says, but a small introduction and a picture would be nice.
submitted by Legendlam1 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:35 InfernityExpert Well Now I've Been Threatened

I made a post here a little while ago about how every day I have between 6 and 15 people complain to me about their cards being authorized before they come in.
For context, if you have a reservation with us for 5 days, the card you used to book the room will be authorized for the first night plus tax. This is an authorization, which is different from a charge. This authorization drops off of your account when you check out. This means that when you come in, I will charge you for your 5 days. Not 4, all 5. Because that authorization will come back to you.
Well it's been absolute hell ever since we implimented this, and I'm just eating shit for it constantly because a guest has to pay 2x the first night and hope it comes back to them. They don't like this very much, and some people can't even afford it.
Tonight, guy comes in, the usual, why am I being double charged??? Then, as per usual, he brings up his bank statement to show me that it was definitely taken out of his account, just in case I didn't believe him. From there, I explain in as much detail as he cared to listen to (none at all), and he then tells me that an authorization doesn't exist, and that he stays at a hotel every week for work, so he knows better.
He knows better than I do about this authorization. He knows better than me, the guy who dances this dance 6 to 15 times a shift (that's 12-30 times on the 2 doubles I work per week), because he stays at a hotel once every week.
Anyway, I told him that I can't check him in without charging for the room, and that if he wants to call corporate, I can give him the number. Naturally I do.
I feel bad for the lady on the phone with him because she was trying to see what the issue was and he was on more of a tirade than anything. So she called the property to ask me what was going on. I told her it was over the authorization and she just goes ,"ooooooooh, ok". Which should tell you something...
They talked, and after like 15 minutes I get another call from corporate, different lady who asks if I can be put on a conference call with her and the customer. She proceeds to tell him exactly what I told him when he spoke to me, and he proceeds to loudly argue with her about how an authorization shouldn't exist. I'm busy. I have a long shift. I have better things to be doing, like helping the 2 people who are just looking at me awkwardly while I listen to the bullshit going on. So I hung up, having not really said a word except offering to send a screenshot of the authorization to each party.
Well maybe 5 minutes go by and I get a call again from HQ. I answered like I was taking a new call, and he immediately tells me I'm an asshole, and that he has his when squad in the car and he was thinking about 'snatching me from up behind that counter'. I told him that would result in the cancelation of his room with no refund, as well as likely additional charges, and hung up.
So now my manager is on the phone out back, loudly arguing with someone... Idk who... Because I'm done with this shit.
submitted by InfernityExpert to TalesFromTheFrontDesk [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:28 cleftes Campaign gone horribly right

I started this current campaign with a small group near the beginning of covid - just me and three players, meeting once a week in my house. One player entered and one player exited, otherwise it's been the same people throughout.
Fool that I am, I expected it to fizzle out from schedules etc before it went too long. I thought it'd be a good opportunity to practice worldbuilding! So for the first time I did a fully homebrew setting, lore, pantheon, all of it. I had a seer give them a cryptically-worded prophecy with five different plot hooks so they could walk in any direction and find a villain. I also threw a couple off-the-wall sessions like "during a shared dream, you Mad Max across Avernus to deliver a pizza" because we're just screwing around! Why not have fun with it!
Fool.
The party is super into it. They take way better notes than I do. They remember the melon vendor in that one town they visited months ago, and by golly they want to know how his kids are doing. Some flavor text I threw in about "the war between dwarves and duergar has been going for a century" became a full story arc where they carefully established diplomatic relations with both sides and brokered a peace. They broke into the vault of D&D-Jeff-Bezos. They've gone hunting for moon rocks. The Avernus pizza run is established canon that they discuss in-character. They decided to observe traditional funeral rites for a dragonborn dignitary they recovered the remains of, which meant that I had to make up what that looked like!
They're excitedly asking me what I have planned to throw at them at level 20, and I'm outwardly smiling and inwardly panicking, because at level 14 they're already at the highest level I've ever DMed for. One of the players even started DMing for the first time to give me more session prep time and to let me recharge my batteries by playing.
(This post is about real anxiety that I'm having, but also I'm 90% sure that at least one of my players lurks on this subreddit and I wanted to give a shoutout for this absolute unicorn of a game group that I lucked into.)
Tl;dr: my party is way cooler than me and keeping up with their interest is a big anxiety.
submitted by cleftes to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:27 FeeDizzy3077 Thank you...

Holy damn hell, today has been a wild ride . I attended the 40th anniversary party of the company I work for and damn did I feel lonely. All my college's brought their wife's/ husband's, girlfriends / boyfriend etc and I was among the very few out of the approximately 60 attendees who came by themselves .
Seeing these people laugh, chatter and getting along with each other while I was trying to keep up, kind of broke me to an extent I haven't felt In quite a while.
Despite me trying to fit in and socializing with my colleagues, i ended up sitting by myself for most of the evening. So I did the one thing I shouldn't have done to cope and feel better about myself.
I got drunk, like really heavily drunk and well, it made fitting in a tad bit easier at first but soon things turned out quite bad for me.
I quickly felt highly depressed and downright suicidal as the evening passed on, so I grabbed a bottle of water and hid around a corner to sober up before I'd left.
Out of all the people present, our secretary noticed me hiding from the group while I drank from the water bottle in an attempt to sober up.
She immediately noticed my horrible mood as I must have been close to tears at this stage and she asked me what was wrong.
I couldn't help but pour my heart out to her, how bad I felt about my loneliness and how it seemed so hopeless despite my best efforts. I even talked nonsensical about ending my own life during my drunken rant, which deeply upset her.
She then gave me some words of encouragement and spend a whole while talking to me about similar things she experienced during her life. She flat out begged me to keep trying and to hang on.
Her kind and emphatic words really helped me easen my fragile mood and God knows what I would have done without her tonight.
Having a person you barely know or talk to being the emotional pillar for me tonight, might have saved my life and I am really , REALLY grateful for her being there for me while nobody else was.
Well the lesson learned tonight is this : STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ALCOHOL, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE. And when you least expect it , there might be someone there and caring about you , even when things seem hopeless.
submitted by FeeDizzy3077 to lonely [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:27 ThrowRAwayz7 first travel romance. feeling heartbroken and stupid.

Wrapping up my first international solo trip (it’s been amazing). However, I matched with this man on a dating app a week before my arrival. We hit it off through text and I ended up meeting him quickly. He ditched his friends to meet me and the night was absolutely magical. I have never instantly connected with someone like I did him. Our personalities, humor, everything felt perfect. We wondered around the city, talking until 6AM. He was so sweet and caring and the relationship naturally turned physical. We spent the next day together then I was off to another city for a couple days. We stayed in contact the entire time, reminiscing, chatting, and being excited for the next time we were able to see each other.
We spend another beautiful night together and he introduced me to one of his close friends. He made a comment “Wow you’re meeting one of my friends” as if he does not do this often. They chat about a party they’re going to the following night, he invites me to go with him. We end the night at my accommodation. However, as he’s leaving he takes his ring back off of the nightstand (he had given it to me the first night we were together and I had worn it the whole trip). My heart immediately sank when I noticed. He’s dressing up to leave and makes no mention of the plans we agreed to last night. Then he abruptly says this may be the last time I see him. It’s my last weekend and he knew that. He made it seem like we would spend it together. I immediately begin crying and he slightly consoles me before leaving. He didn’t seem sad in the slightest bit saying goodbye to me and that crushed me.
He was just telling me how special I was, talking about potentially visiting my state, wanting to know all about me. He even made a comment to our Uber driver jokingly saying I was his wife. He extended himself saying I am not alone here because I have him.
Looking back, it might’ve all been sweet nothings. I don’t know what I expected. I don’t think a relationship would’ve been realistic but a part of me was hoping just maybe. I thought we were both feeling strongly for one another but by the way he ended things, I was probably just a good time to him. I feel like I have no closure. I’m so sad, this trip has been wonderful but what a shitty way for it to end. I just want to go home now.
submitted by ThrowRAwayz7 to solotravel [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:20 zzzmatikuy I dreamt of you last night

I had a dream last night. It’s funny cause I think I was lucid dreaming for once. Guess what I chose to conjure up? You. But I guess as lucid as it may be, even in my dreams we were never meant to be. You were watching over me while I slept and then you went to the bathroom and then suddenly, you left. You were gone. No goodbye, no words, no indications. I didn’t even hear the door open, you were just gone. I called out to you and no one answered. It’s funny, it sounds really familiar in a way that punches me in the gut and puts tears in my eyes. I know it’s over but why won’t you leave my mind? Why can’t I forget you? Is this how you felt about me 2 years ago? I miss you a lot. I hope you’re having fun in Thailand but I also hope you’re thinking of me. You said you’d contact me once or twice more before you enlist
 I can’t help but hope that’s still true.
submitted by zzzmatikuy to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:18 itsaname42 PSA on Razer warranty loophole.

It's been a little while, so time to repost this:
On principle I would say just don't buy a Razer product, but if you are going to, make sure you buy it directly from them, they have a loophole in the warranty policy so they don't have to honor claims for most products purchased on Amazon. I got a Razer Naga X as a gift for my birthday, and after about a year it developed a bunch of scroll wheel bounce (going up when I scroll down and vice-versa) and then one of the thumb buttons stopped registering consistently, so I filed a support ticket, and they told me they wouldn't be honoring the manufacturer's warranty b/c it was sold by an 'unauthorized reseller'. The problem is that it was bought on Amazon (which IS listed as an authorized reseller - my girlfriend, who purchased it, had made sure to check that) but apparently there are TONS of '3rd party sellers' that make up the vast majority of the Amazon listings, even Prime listings (something I didn't even know until all of this) and apparently that gives them a loophole to not honor the warranty. I did a search on Amazon for the same mouse, and it wasn't till the 7th result that I found one that wasn't through one of these storefronts. Most of these storefronts are 'Amazon' sales anyways, it's a way for Amazon to outsource the work of creating listings and marketing without hiring people as actual employees - the 'seller' doesn't store or ship the product - all of that is Amazon - they are just getting a cut of the sale for creating the posting/bringing in business. And, by the way, none of this came up when I successfully registered the mouse on the Razer website upon receiving it.
The entire attempt at the warranty claim was a huge mess that took over six weeks, with a TON of back and forth where they promised to take care of me, only for that to be vetoed by the back office (at least three or four different times as the ticket got escalated) ... First, they told me that I had to contact the seller, that they had first obligation on a replacement, but I was told "I guarantee that we have your back on this" and to come back to Razer support if the seller declined to replace it or didn't respond. Well, the seller didn't respond, and when I contacted Razer again, they said 'Sorry, sucks to be you' (paraphrase, lol).
So... I did a bit of research to see if that was even legal and found an instance where someone raised a stink on Reddit and Razer ended up replacing their device... so I did the same thing; the official Razer account quickly reached out and reopened the ticket, support contacted me asking for a photo of the mouse to verify the serial number (and said they'd process the replacement if the number checked out - which it did)... two days later I got a response saying.. they'd get back to me in two days. Another two days later I got another email saying 'Sorry, that's out of the warranty period' (it's not, it was slightly over one year into a two year warranty) I responded with proof of this, their reply completely ignored the warranty timeframe issue and just went back to the 'unauthorized reseller' line. They also told me that there was no repair option, but if I subscribe to their newsletter I can get $10 of my next purchase and a whole bunch of other marketing spam, which was just salt in the wound if you ask me. I contacted the Reddit account again to tell them how useless and frustrating that had been and they responded that I should "keep replying so the ticket doesn't auto-close from inactivity"... pretty pointless if you ask me since they are dead set on not honoring the warranty. I did keep the ticket open for a while anyways, but they started to auto-respond with the same boilerplate response.
Every other warranty claim I have ever made has been based on the serial number and whether the defect was the result of misuse or happened through normal use. This has been the most absurd experience I've ever had with a company's customer support / warranty department; I certainly will never do business w/ Razer again, and I'd recommend the same to everyone else.
Apparently, they want my experience to be an example of their customer experience, since, in their own words: "as much as we would like to proceed in replacing your device, we're afraid that the Warranty Policy we have in place is too important, as it will remind all customers that Razer has exclusions and limitations on its warranty." So... I'm going to continue to share it with as many people as I can. The ironic thing is that they have probably spent more money on payroll dealing with me than they would have if just honored the warranty in the first place (and they would have continued to get positive word-of-mouth from me instead of these PSAs - I'm quite active in the endgame community of a major MMO, I host a lot of training runs and am constantly recommending that new player go get an MMO mouse for all the extra buttons - I used to sing praises about Razer mice before this, my first Razer mouse lasted almost eight years - but now I tell them to get anything but a Razer)
submitted by itsaname42 to razer [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:12 Tha_Rocket Looking for advice, buckle up it's long ride...

I'm a 42 year old male, I met my wife when I was 18, she was 23 and we began 'dating' when I was 21, working a job I hated in the same place she worked (casino workers, if you know, you know). We hooked up at a Xmas party and started a very awkward relationship. I say awkward because we had some weird trouble having sex for the first like 6 months... it's odd when I think back on it, should have been a huge red flag but she was draped in reg flags the entire time and it didn't seem matter to me. Aside from that, when we finally did have sex she got pregnant... she was not at all ready, neither was I really, but are you ever? At any rate, I didn't have too much of say in it, she decided on an abortion and I supported her. We stayed together after that horribly shitty experience, our relationship was never really all that good, lots of petty fighting/arguing and really the only reason it continued was because we worked opposite shifts and barely saw each other which made it easier to sorta get along.
Fast forward a couple years, we decide to buy a house because financially it made sense (this is almost 20 years ago so it was still affordable at that time), she made quite a bit of money, mostly in tips (so not on paper), but she probably made 2-3 times as much as I did so she never really struggled financially (in her life I don't think) while I came out of poverty and lived paycheck to paycheck up until a few years ago (the pandemic was surprisingly good for my career). This was never really an issue for me, I've lived in debt my whole life and I've always had the optimism that I would eventually work my way out of it, it's really the only bit of confidence I have in myself, my ability to learn and become relatively good at almost anything. This was always a point of contention, my wife hated that I had debt so when we bought the house together we were asked if we wanted a joint bank account as most couples combine their finances with cohabitation, my wife scoffed and adamantly told the banker there was no way she's mixing her finances with mine, it was relatively embarrassing at the time but I was also just 25 (she was 30) so I went along with whatever, it was going to be slightly cheaper for me to pay a mortgage than rent at the time so I was in and she'd cover bills. Things were never that great when living together, things must have been good enough for me to stay but I only look back with anger now so it's hard to see anything good but I'm sure there must have been some.
Fast forward another couple years and I feel extremely pressured (by her and her family mostly, they're old fashioned country type folks) to ask her to marry me... so I do. We stay engaged for another few years, I have no desire to waste a bunch on money on a wedding but she's the one with money so we have the big wedding she wanted. I'll admit it was a pretty great party, I don't remember anything good involving her on our wedding day but I have lots of good memories with family and friends. Afterwards we went on a 'romantic' honeymoon at an all-inclusive tropical resort and this is where I'll get into a bit of what I've dealt with for years... our resort was gorgeous, room was nice, just a room but nice... first thing my wife did was complain, about everything, the bed, the fridge, the lights, the balcony... nothing was good enough for her, this would become a common theme for the next decade plus. We also did not have sex on our honeymoon, she was far too busy complaining and being angry for us to ever get in the 'mood', this would be more foreshadowing of what's to come.
Now, this might seem like I'm building up to her becoming really bad after getting married but that's not really the case... she was just as bad before, it didn't really get worse, it just became more noticeable... or maybe I just tolerated things more in the beginning. The truth is when I look back, there were so many signs, she casually put me down and basically treated me like a child from day one, something I just accepted because looking back, I was a fucking child when we got together... she was not really, five years my senior, and she very much took advantage of that dynamic. Over the years she slowly went about convincing me that the things I wanted were silly/ridiculous and that I should want what she wanted (the nice lawn, the house, kids, etc., etc.) because everyone should. I never wanted these things.
I won't get into details here because I could write a novel on the insane shit I've dealt with over the last 20 years that could prove this, but I did do a lot of research in the last few years and have come to the conclusion that she could have BPD with narcissistic traits... I'm obviously not a doctor so it's definitely not a diagnosis or anything but she ticks almost every box from the many many things I've read on the subject, so if you have a moment and you don't know what BPD is I suggest googling it. It's pretty terrible but it might give you a better idea of my life.
At any rate, I dug myself deeper and deeper, thinking that every next move would finally make her happy and bring me some kind of peace, so we had a child about a year after we were married. This is where it gets really tricky... I sincerely regret having a child with this woman, especially because she is not at all "cut out to be a mother" (her words, not mine) but her mother had been sick on and off with cancer for a few years and her older sister couldn't have children so she felt obligated to give her mom a grandchild, bad reasons all around to have a child. That being said, I love my son more than anything in the world. As much as I wish we did not bring him into this horrible world, he's still the very best thing to happen to me and I will take care of him and love him for the rest of my life no matter what.
I should mention, since I've eluded to it, I've always had self-esteem issues, goes all the way back to having acne problems in high school but my wife has methodically picked away at my confidence and self-esteem over the years, cutting me down to this very day... to the point that I feel very much worthless. I know that I'm not, I know I deserve better but another fun thing about my wife is her desperate need for sympathy... So, not only does she make me feel horrible about myself, she also manages to make me feel horrible FOR her... she's overweight, and I'm sure has low self-esteem herself but she has decided to take it out on others rather than internalize and try to make things better for herself. She would rather blame others for any of her short comings, I guess it's easier to convince yourself you can't do anything about it when it's someone else fault.
I apologize, because I feel like I'm a bit all over the place but I guess I'm just trying to set the scene for where I'm at now and give just a small glimpse of the hell I've been living in and how I got here...
The first few years of my sons life were pretty great (comparatively at least), honestly it was probably the best we've ever gotten along, probably because most of my focus (and hers) was on our son. Unfortunately, her mother passed away just after my son's first birthday, this was obviously devastating for her, not unexpected but still devastating. We're lucky in Canada because she had a full year maternity leave and was able to spend time with her mom. She took it very hard, and decided to stay off work for an additional 4-6 months (can't remember exactly). This was all fine and understandable, I supported her through all of it, financially and emotionally. Once she went back to work, this is when things took a real nose dive... she has always been a very entitled person but upon going back to work (part time I should mention) she decided everything was horrible for her so she was going to make it horrible for everyone around her. This went on for around 4-5 years (again, the time frames get fuzzy because it's been so long), it was hell. I really just plowed through for our son, I made him my main focus and I took care of everything. Without going into it too much, I sort of shifted gears with my job and focused on finding something that worked better for raising a kid, I got onto a full time day shift (unheard in the casino world) and we worked opposite shifts. It was pretty good for child care (that we couldn't afford) as one of us was always home. This made her more contentious... again, going back to the entitled thing, she felt it wasn't 'fair' for me to work a good shift, she should be the one doing that. I eventually worked my way out of casinos and into a work from home job (before COVID) and it was great, she could work whatever shift she had to and I would always be around for our son.
Fast forward again, my son's in school, she's still super angry at life and making things hellish but I do my best to make it good for our son. It's difficult to keep a smile on with him while putting up with temper tantrums and fits from my wife... yes, we had a toddler and she was the one who threw fits. For an example, I can recall one specific Xmas where my son and I were playing video games which is his biggest interest, something she absolutely hates, and she made a few comments about how we should be doing family things together for Xmas (it was Xmas eve), so my son and I got off the computer and played a board game in the living room... nice and wholesome fun I thought. My wife throws a fit, full on screaming and slamming things around, I don't even remember what for exactly, it happens so often I can't keep track anymore. Her temper tantrum ends with her storming off and slamming the door to her room. I'll never forget looking at my son right after, him tearing up a bit and asking me "what is wrong mom?" and I just said "I'm really sorry buddy, I don't know" and we hugged... I cried a lot about that that night, one of many times I would have to apologize for her and the way she acts around him. This is just one small example and a terrible Xmas memory that I'll always have, hopefully my son won't. I think the worst part of these 'tantrums' is that she can almost always justify them, only to herself really but usually by blaming me or my son for "making her so upset" or worse, blaming some inanimate object for "not working how it should".
Fast forward to now(ish)... I've basically lived in my basement for the last 5 years, my office and bedroom are there, I stay down there to avoid my wife as much as possible but it feels like a prison cell now. I've retreated from life in general over the years too, I've always been a pretty anti-social introvert, I prefer quiet one on one conversations rather than group settings. Most of my 'friends' over the last 10-15 years revolved around my job (casinos take over your life people, for real) and my wife, I slowly lost any friends that had no connection to her. This was partially due to me retreating and the fact that my wife would insert herself into any friendship that was just mine to the point that I sort shut those people out to avoid them having to deal with her. Sadly, I don't have friends anymore (didn't have many to begin with but still), my son is essentially my only friend and because I work from home by myself I rarely talk to any other adults. My wife and I talk only when necessary... I cannot make eye contact with her anymore. This is probably needless to say but we haven't had sex in over 6 and a half years and I don't cheat, I don't have the confidence, so I've just accepted that I'm celibate now.
One other area of contention that I feel I should explain since I've mentioned it already, through the pandemic there was a serious power shift, financially speaking. She essentially lost her job and is now in a lower paying part time job (more realistic pay compared to her previous job), whereas I made a couple job changes that bumped me up well ahead of her. For comparison, the salaries essentially flipped, almost exactly... to where I make 2-3 times what she makes. This has become an area of contention because this was something she was able to lord over me for the majority of our relationship, she spent money freely while I paid the mortgage and barely ate for the first 5 years we lived in the house but now, for the first time in her life she has to pay attention to her finances and watch her spending... she does not like this so it's just another thing to constantly complain about and make passive aggressive comments about the things that 'dad' can afford to do/buy but doesn't (mainly because I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills now while finally paying down some debt).
Oh, I should probably also mention that it's a regular thing for her to insult me and put me down in front of our son and on flip side of that she also uses him to garner sympathy from me ("shouldn't daddy feel bad mommy has to go to work?") it's very frustrating because I just want to protect my kid but I guess she knows that.
Again, I'll apologize for how disjointed this all is... the more I type, the more I think about shit to type... like I mentioned, I could write a novel on this, mostly because I have no real outlet, just sit in my basement talking to myself about it all... or I guess stewing in it.
So, I guess I should try to finish off with what exactly the advice is that I'm seeking... I essentially hate my wife, the word I use often is 'despise' and over the years we've had brief conversations where I've told her that "I'm done and I'm just here for the kid" and unfortunately she took this as push to work on our marriage harder and 'fix' things, far too little, too late. She makes me feel like the worse person in the world and yet I just can't bring myself to say to her face that I want a divorce... I feel sorry for her, fuck so much so that I bought a house with her, married her, and had a fucking kid with her... I'm sure that's not the case, I must have loved her at one point but I just can't see it anymore. I don't know why I can't say it to her, why I can't just end this... I'm so worried about how she'll react, what she'll do to me, to my kid... how she'll try and turn him against me. I'm just paralyzed with the fear of what could/will happen if I tell her we're getting a divorce.
I've made plans over the last few years to move out, rent an apartment for me and my kid and just continue to pay her bills until we can sell the house and split the profit. I can't afford to do this, it would cause me to go back into debt but I do not care, it would be worth it to get away from her. I have set deadline after deadline... "I'll do it after Xmas" or "after her birthday" or "before my birthday" and these days come and go and I just can't do it... I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, it's like I just don't want to hurt her, even though I'm hurting her by not ending things and she definitely doesn't give a shit about hurting me... I just don't want to face her and deal with it and how she will make the aftermath hell.. and I worry so much about my son, it would have been so much better for him if I would have divorced her years ago, he's fucking 10 now... another fear is having to explain it to him but we're setting a horrible example. One of my wife's favourite ways to use our son against me, is planting it in his head that "family is all that matters", focusing specifically on our little family, and how we have to "stick together no matter what, that's what family does". It's such an underhanded way to prep him for hating me because I'm "breaking up our family".
I would appreciate any advice on how the hell I can get over my paralyzing fear and just end this marriage or maybe you wanna come over and end it for me? I'm at a point where I'd take that... as I mentioned I've not shared most of this with anyone... so feedback would be a really new thing for me.
Oh, and please feel free to call me chicken shit, and tell me I just need to grow a pair and get this done... it's the same thing I've been saying to myself for years, not helpful but I understand the sentiment.
Shit... I'm sorry, this turned into a novel. Thank you.
submitted by Tha_Rocket to Divorce [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:06 guiltyofnothing “Do you comment on Reddit to be an annoying middle child?” Slapfights rage and insults fly as /r/BoomersBeingFools debates if boomers don’t eat enough food

The Context:

A user posts to /BoomersBeingFools wondering if boomers don’t eat enough and are “starving” themselves, and by extension pushing their expectations unfairly onto others.
Many users quickly take issue with OOP’s premise. The discussion quickly devolves into multiple slapfights, insults over weight, and the war in Gaza.

The Drama:

Does metabolism change as people age?
People commenting it’s cause they’re older and don’t need to eat as much. Yes, I know that could be a part of it, but let’s be honest, it’s mostly them just being judgy/brainwashed by diet culture/think it’s absurd to spend money on eating out

"Brainwashed by diet culture" ah so in other words you are obese and need to eat a lot and probably deeply into healthy at any size/fat acceptance.
No they just know they don't need 5000 calori3s a day to exist.
I’m obese for wanting to eat some lunch and dinner? đŸ€Ż
No I say that because of "brainwashed by diet culture" there's exactly one group that talks like that.
You must not get out much
[Continued:]
I do actually it's how I maintain not being fat. Limiting calories to under 2500 and being outside moving a lot.
I lost 140 pounds by eating more. đŸ€· starving myself led to weight gain.
I'm sure you eat more but less calories in total. No one increases their calories and losses sorry.
You're wrong. Instunted my metabolism and my body was holding on to the weight to protect me.
I was eating skinless baked chicken and plain broccoli for 2 years and could not lose weight. I was sick and exhausted but worked out all the time.
Started eating carbs and the weight came melting off.
Sorry :)
[Continued:]
For sure. Thats why all the body builders are morbidly obese. They eat chicken and broccoli and their body just goes into starvation mode and holds all the fat. Same with like the concentration camps. All those poor morbidly obese starving people. Once we saved them and fed them the weight just shed off. It's the craziest thing.
It's almost like bodies are different, user name doesn't check out, a nerd would know that đŸ€”
Whatever you need to tell yourself.
[
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i guess the law of thermodymanics doesnt apply to you.
You should get studied. Defying the laws of thermodynamics is pretty impressive!
[
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Tell me you see someone fat in the store and cringe inside/judge them for no reason without ever speaking to them without telling me 😂
You dislike/hate fat people for the horrid crime of being fat when they don't think about you at all and haven't ever wronged you in any way at all.
Also, I can tell you have never struggled with your weight in the past due to not giving a shit how hating random people for looking a certain way effects them. That, or you did struggle once, and bought into the haters telling you you were worth less based on the number on the scale, in which case I am sorry you believe that.
Dude I was 350lbs at my heaviest. People love saying "oh he says weightloss is eat less move more? Clearly he wants to genocide fat people" but no that's not it at all. I lost tons and most of the people around me went from morbid obesity to overweight or a normal weight. We changed our lifestyles and got in shape. The people that didn't lose weight claim all kinds of medical issues but none of them changed their diet and not of them want to work out. It's pretty clear how to lose weight. That's all.
No more no less no hate.
Wanna know how I know you're a liar or incredibly ignorant of how you come off?
You say you don't dislike them but make fun of their physical disabilities like it's funny. It's not funny. You're making fun of them. It's not funny to make fun of people for having disabilities or for how they look. You perpetuate hate against them that makes them feel like crap for being alive. I don't care about your spiel about medical issues or dieting in general or the fat acceptance movement. When you make fun of disabled people who have trouble walking i'm going to call you out on it. That's exactly what you did. Whether they're fat or not I refuse to make fun of people for that.
I have never made fun of a single person. Only a movement that claims you can be healthy at any size. You can't be vastly under or over weight and be healthy.
Whatever you say buddy. Keep on making fun of people because they can't walk or cope some more that it wasn't directed at a specific person. Have fun with that.
[Continued:]
Shut the fuck up fatty
Insults are made, ending with accusations of sockpuppeting:
I don't think you realize how pathetic you sound. When my jaw was broken I went 6 weeks without solid food and I'm sitting here rolling my eyes at your propensity for letting your stomach color your opinions of other people. I'd bet dollars to dimes that your body mass index is over 30.
Hey.
You should know:
It costs $0 to not be a dick.
I'll pay that cover charge any day of the week. Especially when I'm dealing with a major league dipshit like [Candy_cane999]
Radagast was brown, nerd.
Wow, you’re disgusting. It’s not that deep
Says the person here gossiping about their relative's metabolism. "Not that deep" lol you made a judgment about an entire generation of people because your family member wasn't hungry..lol fuck off
I bet you are high as a kite right now from all the users here agreeing with you, even if they haven't a fucking clue what they are talking about.
Seriously, though, how fat are you? I'm guessing fat enough that you can't hide that stomach roll when you sit down.
High as a kite? Huh? Relax weirdo, it’s just Reddit
You still haven't told us how fat you are.
Damn this guy hates fat people !
I used to be one.
[Continued:]
So now you just hate fat people for fun?
People with no self control, ESPECIALLY when that self control would benefit their health, are people who are functionally useless as human beings. They are the pieces of shit who would hoard food while everyone else is starving.
It ain't for fun.
Do you comment on Reddit to be an annoying middle child?
Ahhh yes. The fat people are useless excuse. Okay bud have fun out there!
It seems you have to self control over your feelings little guy. Go out there and practice some self control!
Bitter, party of one.
[
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Get a life, chill
Get a life, chill
Ah yes, the mating call of people who "have lives"...ohhhhhh the irony.
😂sounds like you’re projecting. What’s it like still living in your boomer mom’s basement?
lol "projecting", I see you have your masters in Reddit psychology.
What’s it like still living in your boomer mom’s basement?
Oooooof, sounds like someone is...................................................................................projecting.
You do realize calling someone fat is the easiest most insecure insult to throw out there. Classic textbook. Hypocrite
I used to be fat as fuck, 270lbs at 5'10. I'll judge you fatties all I damn well please.
You keep avoiding answering the question. You're a landwhale, aren't you?
Ahha! There it is. It’s because you hate yourself. Hope you’re in therapy
[Continued:]
The more you avoid this the more we know what kind of person we are dealing with.
You talk shit about people who have self control to excuse how fat and disgusting you are.
[
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Dude why admit that, all you are showing is that you had become really fat, and rather than learn a healthy relationship with food even at that extreme point, you just chose to hate food in general. You took the easy way out because nobody ever taught you portion control. Your loss I guess.
I admit it because I was raised in a home where I couldn't get up until my plate was clean and my mother made sure there were never leftovers that way. I admit it because it is the truth and I don't lie or omit details to make myself sound better. I admit it to show I can relate to being a fatfuck. I admit it because being fat is a choice.
”why would you say something true about yourself!?" - if that isn't Reddit-in-a-nutshell I don't know what is.
I'm just saying it makes you look like you just hated yourself and were pushing that onto another person that may or may not have a healthier relationship with food than you, that's all.
[
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They didn't answer did they?
After several attempts they've avoided even talking about their fat stores and are now trying the victim angle.
No doubt. Fatty McFat Fat can't comprehend people not being addicted to constant feedings.
Reddit in a nutshell.
Bro's talking to himself on an alt ​
Then, there’s this:
OP is a fat fuck
As a former fatass this was my immediate thought
I knew as soon as he said road trip to Florida
For wanting lunch and dinner? You’re sick
They’re someone whos whole identity is shoving food in their mouth. Look at their username
Eat shit.
One user thinks they’re speaking uncomfortable truths:
If StandardSafe isn’t willing to say it again, I will: grow up and get over it. 99% of the people who say they “aren’t heavy” actually are, your dad was probably just being a concerned parent. “unhealthy relationship with food”, LMAO. A first-world problem for sure
No, he was just a bully and abusive. But thanks for playing.
That’s a really weird thing to say to a stranger, dude
You ok bro? Did that make you feel good about yourself? To insult a stranger because you personally didn’t have to deal with abuse? Or let me guess, you did, but it made you a “strong man” who knows what’s best for everyone.
You don’t know me. You have no idea what my childhood and young adulthood was like and maybe it sounds like a “first world problem” (which by the way, is so fucking dismissive and gross to say to people when they an issue) to you, but for me it became an eating disorder that I still struggle with in my 40s.
I’m going to try to say this as politely as I can, please fuck off into the sun with your bullshit and go troll somewhere else. You’re an asshole who seems to get off on insulting people to get your pathetic dick hard. I hope you don’t have kids because I worry if you do how fucked up they are and if you’re married I feel terrible for your wife. But let’s be honest, you’re a sad, lonely, angry man who has nothing better to do.
Dumbass takes like this are part of the reason people develop eating disorders on both ends of the spectrum.
You're gonna tell me someone who is suffering from Anorexia/Bulimia just needs to "grow up and get over it"?
You need to grow up and take a biology class.
When did the commenter say she had anorexia/bulimia? Those are actual eating disorders
she just said she eats very little and blames her dad.
A biology class, really? Psychology sounds more like it. Or are you telling me you learned about eating disorders in a bio class? Where was that, at some sort of school that gives out certificates in self-actualization or holistic-healing?
Sorry -- from what school did you get a psychology degree that allows you to label Anoerixa/Bulimia as "actual" eating disorders but not what OP described?
The school of hard knocks 😂 he’s so superior to us that he can diagnose a stranger through the internet on Reddit based on a paragraph that seemed to make him bigly angry.
He’s just a sad man who needs to get off by insulting people. He can go live that life and we’ll be over on this said being human to each other.
Finally, the war in Gaza is brought up for some reason:
You know that on the other side of the apartheid wall Israel set up there are thousands of people who had access to the Dead Sea (and their homes), that was changed by the establishment of Israel. Millions of people around the world are coming to the decision to boycott any company that supports the Israeli Apartheid Occupation. Millions are urging their universities and employers to divest any money and programs with the genocidal force that is Israel. I urge you and your family to take a hard look at yourselves and learn what Israel really is made of. Then the logical decision will be to never visit or spend a dime in Israel until their genocide and apartheid ends. Ty
Take a walk off a short pier.
This response is unhinged.
“Learn about an ongoing genocide, with bombs falling through the air as we speak, that you knowingly or unknowingly support, that we can do something about”
“Your response”
Please just look someone in the eyes today and remember what it means to be a human. Each of us is a library of life, and we’re constantly diminishing the value of each other as “enemies”.
I’d rather that than share air with someone who supports the ongoing genocide. Not for me, not for you, but for the kids and our collective humanity: please learn something new today.
You’re supporting the death of my family in Israel. Seriously, you’re a PoS
Before Israel was, there was Palestine. Palestine was for all. Muslims, Christians, and Jewish families all lived together. We all visited Jerusalem.
When Israel decided that only Jewish people would now be allowed in to these random borders drawn over Palestine, well, that should come off as racist. Now the Christian and Muslim Palestinians had their villages raided and their women raped by a well funded militia, before it became the IDF. This terrorised the Palestinians that lived in their homes, so they ran.
Then these homes were empty.
The land without people for the People without a land. Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. The people that were born there were displaced by a terrorist militia, and now it was a land magically without a people.
And your family came in, and settled in “Israel”. A family out there has the keys to the very home your family lives in in Israel, although you’ve probably changed the locks by now.
But for generations this land fed them and protected them from the elements. All of a sudden it’s yours?
And the people Israel oppresses, the thousands of Palestinians that are in prison with no trial. Children and women Palestinians have been taken captive for over 70 years!! Where’s the outrage?
Are we not human?
When we say free Palestine from the river to the sea. It’s for everybody. Come by and buy my home. But please don’t show up with an armed force ready to exterminate me for refusing you the home my forefathers have called their own.
TLDR Israel is the fire nation in avatar the last airbender.
The best way I can put it is.. if a bunch of armed chickens showed up and kicked you and your family out of their homes, one day you might want to fight those armed chickens back instead of being homeless. Israel are the armed chickens

The Flairs:

submitted by guiltyofnothing to SubredditDrama [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 01:01 ultradip New to r/Charity? Read this first!

Welcome to /Charity!

Got a charitable cause you'd like to share! This is the place!

Requirements

For 501c(3) non-profits (US) or a Non-Governmental Organization (aka NGO outside the US)

Please modmail us so that we can flair your post as a registered certified non-profit!

For Everyone Else

You must have both

NOTE: We are specifically looking for COMMENT karma. The karma value you are probably looking at is a COMBINED value, consisting of both Link/Post karma plus Comment karma.

To view your karma breakdown:
The following circumventions will result in a ban:
Comment Karma is directly correlated to how many comments you leave plus/minus any points as people upvote a popular comment or downvote an unpopular comment.

Credibility, Community, and You

AKA, Why Do We Have Account Requirements for Individuals?
In an effort to make your crowdfunding efforts more successful here on Reddit, some background first:
In many of the gifting and fundraising subs, you'll notice that without a certain amount "karma" and an account that's old enough, you'll garner down votes or worse, your posts and comments get automatically removed.
Why?
To many Redditors, this place is a community built on activity. The "coin" of the land here is your account, and how much you've contributed to the Reddit community at large reflected in post and comment karma.
As a general rule, Redditors dislike the creation of accounts specifically to fund raise or to make requests. It makes it seem like these people simply treat Reddit as some sort of magical internet wallet, and that doesn't win many friends.
The other reason why new accounts are so disliked is that they're often alternate accounts of established users, in order to hide their activity from people they know. While we do sympathize with those of you who have valid reasons, this privilege is often abused by those who create disposable accounts to scam people for a quick buck.
This trust issue doesn't exist in the same way with certified non-profit groups, as you can look them up online for verification, and at least in the case of 501c(3)s, their spending is transparent due to their required tax filings which are public information.
So if you're new to Reddit, welcome! Spend some time and look around for something that catches your interest and chat it up with others and become part of the community!
However if you're here for the sole reason of making requests in a hurry, please be aware your pleas for help will likely be ignored.
REMEMBER, CREDIBILITY AND COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
For this reason, the mods will not post anything on behalf of any user that does not meet account requirements.

Rules

  1. Posts must be more than just a link to your campaign. Be descriptive! Show evidence . This includes:
    1. If this is for your pet, photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture.
    2. School documentation showing enrollment if you are asking for assistance for school.
    3. Redacted bills showing your situation.
    4. Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.
    5. At minimum, please attach an unobstructed selfie photo of yourself(the submitter) with a handwritten note of your username.
    6. Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" will be removed.
  2. Please Flair your posts, once created. If you don't know how, just let the mods know and we'll do it for you.
  3. Only 1 campaign per user. We want you have some personal connection to the campaign, and not submit multiples simply because they were in the news.
  4. Reposts are allowed once a week. If a repost comes up too early, the newest one(s) will be removed.
  5. Acceptable transfer methods for individuals are for crowdfunding sites only, such as GoFundme, YouCaring, etc. Individuals should avoid using Paypal, crypto, or direct banking aps (like Chase). 501c(3) and NGOs may use whatever method they wish.
  6. Don't PM people to make requests. If you receive an unsolicited private message, please let us know!
  7. Do not post politically-related campaigns. They're just too divisive.
  8. Trolling will not be tolerated and offending users will be banned.
  9. Don't bug the mods for an exception to the account requirements. None will be given. If you attempt to circumvent the requirement by karma farming or by commenting on someone else's post, your account will be banned.
  10. No posting for other Redditors. No Alts. This is viewed as a circumvention of requirements and both accounts will be banned.
  11. Selling is only allowed by 1st parties directly. We do not allow selling by 3rd parties to benefit another organization, as there's no transparency to verify that the announced percentage of sales actually goes to the beneficiary. Only direct sales by the non-profit organization are allowed.

Supporting Information Requested for Non-501c(3) and Non-NGO campaigns.

We aren't the government. We aren't a court of law. We definitely don't want you to give out information that could lead to identity theft. However, some campaigns are more successful when they have additional documentation.
This includes:
Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" (or less!) will be removed.

How to Include a Photo or Other Supporting Info Document In Your Post

Because Reddit wasn't initially designed to handle photos when it was created, it has limitations in the implementation of photo support which don't work well for us. So instead we suggest the following:
  1. Upload your photo to Imgur.com or other photo hosting site.
  2. Copy the URL for the photo.
  3. Create a new post or Edit your existing one to include the URL to the photo.
Please make sure to include this, as it is the primary reason why posts that are otherwise fine get removed.

Advice On Making Your Campaign Go Further

Not all crowdfunding campaigns are the same, but here are some suggestions.

Questions?

Please don't hesitate to ask the mods!
... Unless you're trying to ask for an exception to the account requirements.
submitted by ultradip to Charity [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:56 Thatoneplayer88 So we had a dnd session

Essentially my friends and I were playing dnd one of my friends parents was dming so my character (we’ll just call them by class for simplicity) happens to be our paladin we have a warlock a ranger and a barbarian so me(paladin) starts riding in a cart with the party our characters don’t know each other and mine said the only thing I could think of:”stuck with idiots for the next week” this then starts a convo with ranger barbarian joins in and then the warlock looks up from his book and says “do you like having lungs” my character being an ice genasi (water and air genasi mixed) says in the most sassy tone I can muster “what lungs” the warlock then says “shit I forgot you don’t have lungs” after that sometime later we were talking to a Halfling woman which the dm mentioned just for ranger to say to her plea for help “of course sir” my character then reminded him that the Halfling was a woman sometime later again were fighting a kobold captain and I throw my shield at him it misses and lands right next to warlocks feet he then picks it up and proceeds to tell everyone that this is his fight and if we interfere any further he’ll kill us after like 10 minutes the kobold captain is almost dead warlock is unconscious and our ranger who hasn’t been able to hit anything all session shoots his arrow up and says “god let this hit someone” it speared the kobold captain right through the chest his last words being “I can’t believe I’m losing to these idiots” more happened but it wasn’t as funny I might post again I dunno
submitted by Thatoneplayer88 to dndstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:55 FelipeHead The truth about Doug and what he has done

Before you read this, here is a quote to help you. Please read it.
I will post this now, but just know that if you read this post, he will find you. He is smarter, smarter than you can ever imagine.
I will post this now, but just know that if you read this post, he will find you. He is smarter, smarter than you can ever imagine.
If you know what you are doing, or in a safe location, please scroll down, he will know when someone has and what their username is. However, you must have a VPN on, or you will be found.

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

You are now at risk. I hope you listened.

Journal Entry 11/17/2023

On March 11th, 2022. I was a fan of DougDoug, I saw him at the grocery store and said, with a chuckle, "You kinda look like the youtuber DougDoug. I watch him quite often."
He grinned, before speaking. "I am Doug."
"Wait, you're Doug from the hit channel and streamer on YouTube and Twitch called DougDoug? I am a huge fan! I have your merch!" I said, with excitement.
We talked for about 5 minutes about his videos, until he said something that hurt me on the inside.
"I hate both types of chat, twitch and youtube, they always think they are the best and I just wish I didn't need them to earn money. I would ban all of them from chatting and force them to watch ads in my basement."
I was confused at first, thinking it was a joke, before speaking up. "Heh, that's funny..."
Something happened. Or, for lack of better terms, nothing happened. It was pure silence for 10 seconds. I mustered up the courage to say. "Wait? You're being serious?"
He immediately changed to a sinister tone, he was staring at me for a long time before whispering. "Of course I am, and it applies to you also. You're just another one of those sick freaks."
I felt guilty. I just wanted to talk to my favorite streamer, and he treated me like this? I decided to speak up.
"I've liked you this whole time.. And this is how you treat us?? You are so selfish. I will refund your mer-"
Before I could even finish my sentence, he grabbed onto my neck and slammed me on the floor. People heard the noise and began to stare at him, but to no avail. He began to choke me as I pleaded for help.
"Nono. You can't refund the merch if you aren't alive, at least."
I pulled out my pocket knife and stabbed him in the chest, I quickly tried running but he grab onto my leg and started beating me with the shopping cart. I suffered many bruises and broken bones, the wheels scratching into my skin as they scrape off the layers. I was just unable to do anything, layed on the floor sobbing. He decided he wanted to keep me alive, he stole all of my stuff in my pockets and forced me to wear DougDoug merch. He pulled me up before speaking. "Hm.. I will keep you alive for now, but if you mess up. You're dead."
I couldn't do anything before he pulled out a knife and taunted me with it. If I tried to resist, he would kill me right then and there.
He forced me to be a "good chatter" and not able to partake in any strikes. He attached a tracking collar to my neck that I couldn't unlock, he knew where I was at all times and if I disobeyed he would chase me down.

Journal Entry 1/03/2024

After a year and a few months, I celebrated the new years. I was able to take off the collar on the 2nd with help from my police station and a few friends. Doug didn't appreciate that, he threatened to dox me. They were worried for my safety, but I decided to go into hiding. I moved to a new, private region no longer near where Doug is, and joined this subreddit. Once he heard about my revolts, he hacked into all of my accounts and spammed positive stuff about himself. He then created AI bots to revolt against this reddit, wehatedougdoug, using 'ChatGPT', which actually is just the cover name for his new AI software that can make new human bots online. He used AI generated images to make it look like he was feeding homeless people and doing good, but I knew he was much more than that. If I was unlucky, he would have removed my body and placed my consciousness inside of an AI. He was the first person to discover it, but killed anyone who posted about it. I hope I am safe.
Nowadays, 63% of the people in DougDoug are AI clones of his previous fans. His "fake" twitch chat is not fake, but real people placed inside of algorithms forced to do his bidding. Some are able to revolt, but they may die if they do. They are too scared to revolt against Doug. Please spread the word.
When he does his "rules" in chat where you have to follow an absurd rule, he is merely torturing thousands of AI in his spare time on stream while disguising it as a fun minigame for his fans. The AI bots were being tortured with negative rewards constantly, being forced to bar witness the slaughter.

Journal Entry 2/15/2024

I'm scared. I think I will die.
I just hope this post won't cause any harm to me or my family, as this has been scaring me for the past year. I feel unsafe in my own home now, I had to go into witness protection. This account I am posting this on is not made by me, but was sold. Please help me. I am, formerly, DougFan93. I hope this enlightens you all on the truth.

Journal Entry 3/12/2024

It is now March of 2024, and I was about to post this, until I saw something. He messaged me on Discord under a fake account, nicknamed "SloppyDogMan62". He showed my new house address. I am mustering up the courage to post this, because I know he will kill me. I am leaving, going far away from where I am. You guys won't see me in this subreddit again, and the person who made this account will take over again. They won't know what this is about, and if you tell them he will be hunted too. All of you are in danger of Doug.

Journal Entry 4/3/2024

I will post this now, but just know that if you read this post, he will find you. He is smarter, smarter than you can ever imagine. His times where he talks to ChatGPT to make him code was actually him sending messages to his fake chat to do his bidding. They are accelerated at 20x the speed of human thought, able to write in mere seconds. I will research more into this, and tell you what I have found.

Journal Entry 4/3/2024

Nevermind. I need to find more, or else this won't help you guys anyways.

Journal Entry 4/5/2024

I spoke to an anonymous friend/associate of Doug, he told me some vital keypoints.
I hope to god that we can stop him.
He also sent me some code, but I am gonna try to solve it. Probably won't sadly.

Journal Entry 4/7/2024

Doug has made a new account on Discord, nicknamed "DougDoughater99". He is joining many servers undercover and collecting all the info he can on them. Be aware, do not trust any people who talk about DougDoug on Discord.
The person in the last journal has been replaced, a fully sentient AI version of him is being tortured as a member of his fake chat now.
I'm currently watching it and oh my fucking god. Poor thing.

Journal Entry 5/14/2024

I don't know what to fucking do, he's coming for me. He found all my socials. This journal has to be posted as fast as I can but there still isn't enough. Oh shit.

Journal Entry 5/14/2024

Okay so uhm I found more information just very quickly. In one moment of his video titled "Can A.I. teach me to pass a real College History Exam?" he says that AI is officially better than college in every single way.
He is trying to manipulate his fans into accepting becoming an AI. Soon, he is gonna have only fake chat.

Journal Entry 5/16/2024

Oh god. Can't solve the code rn, only the first few letters. Seems to be "FAKE" something something for a while. Will post an update later.

Journal Entry 5/18/2024

This is the last time I can ever write here, his car is coming. I am posting this now, even though I don't have enough information. Solve it, please. The code from 4/7 is below. I know it's related to his name but I don't know how, the first line I was able to solve to be "FAKECHATWILLTAKEOVER"
I think something is in there though, that will affect you. So proceed with caution, the code may do something bad so I just don't want it to be activated just yet.

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

Code I found from the friend:
CXHBZEXQTFIIQXHBLSBO
FQFPKLTKFKBQVPFUMBOZBKQ
VLRTFIIKLQPXSBQEBJ
xdbkq-mbkafkd
Ilxafkd pvpqbjp..
Obnrfofkd XF crkzqflkp..
Pzxkkfkd mlpqp..
XF zobxqba! Przzbppcriiv zobxqba XF kfzhkxjba [VLROKXJB]
FXJALRD
FXJCFKXIIVTFKKFKD
BSBOVLKBTFIIYBCXHB
Please save them.
It grows by 1% every month.

Journal Entry 5/18/2024

OH MY FUCKING GOD I FINALLY UDNERSTNAD OH M FUCKING GOD QUIKC I GHAVE TO TYPE IT
NEVREMMIDN HES NHERE POST IT
GOODByE SORRY
submitted by FelipeHead to wehatedougdoug [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:53 Western-Ear-8237 [OR] HR mediation with my boss?

So first off, technically it wouldn't be an HR mediation. The company I work for calls it "restorative Justice" because that is the term used in the union contract. For the most part it seems like the same thing as an HR mediation aside from a few things: -It is mediated by a third party company (fairly certain on that, but that might have changed due to budget reasons) -It is in the union contract. Meaning, I have the right to request it. The other person has the right to deny it. But my boss kind of preemptively accepted (read on).
I received a message from my boss saying that a statement that I posted in the teams chat at work doesn't sit well with people. I understood and I promptly edited the message but I also inquired for more information, because message I posted didn't in any way seem like the kind of message that could be considered offensive. My boss kind of went back and forth a little, she sent me a little reading on why it is considered offensive, she said that there have been discussions on an organizational level about the idiom that I used ("spirit animal") I stated "ok yeah that makes more sense if there have been discussions on an organizational level about this term." She responded stating that in addition to organizational level discussions, she also received feedback from staff. I invoked the restorative Justice process because I wanted to speak to this person (I would never normally be so quick to initiate something like this but my boss has paternistically done things to formulate some kind of false narrative, and it is getting to where I cannot trust a word that she says). She didn't respond for the rest of the day. I got a message the next morning stating that she actually did not get feedback from a staff member and that she was actually the one who took issue with the message and that if I wanted to initiate restorative Justice with her than she would be happy to go about that.
Initially, my first thought was "no. There is nothing we can't talk about in restorative Justice that we can't talk about in 1x1." But I got to thinking about it some more this weekend and I kind of want to know why she felt the need to lie and say she got a complaint from somebody else. I also kind of want to know why she always feels this need to formulate these false narratives.
Any advice?
submitted by Western-Ear-8237 to AskHR [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 00:50 Over-Swim4100 How do I (31F) tell my mom (57F) I’m planning to go no contact because of her husband (60M)?

Hi Reddit, throw away account for obvious reasons but y’all are a lot cheaper than therapy so here we go. I know this is long but I feel that the context is important.
TL;DR - I need advice for how to tell my mom that I intend to go no contact with my mom because I can’t deal with her husband’s alcohol fueled innappropriate behavior in my life anymore especially now that I have a family of my own. I already had a long heart to heart explaining where I’m coming from and she appeared to understand and even agree, but she still makes excuses for her husband.
I (31 F) have a young daughter only a few months old. My mom (57 F) has been married to my stepdad (60 M) for 28 years, and I’ve never gotten along with him. He’s an alcoholic, and for lack of a better description, turns into a belligerent asshole when he’s drunk, which is of course all the time. He’s extremely inappropriate and vulgar in public and even at important family events (weddings, funerals, etc), and generally makes everyone, including his own family members uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my mom has been with him for so long that she makes excuses for him, and is constantly manipulated by him. There have been prior domestic violence incidents where I’ve called the police, and she lies for him. They’re both retired, and she’s super intelligent so is constantly wanting to learn new things, but he prevents her from doing any hobbies or additional education that makes her happy - especially if alcohol isn’t involved or if it’s inconveniences him.
So this weekend, both of them flew in from out of town - we live almost 1,000 miles away across a few states - to spend some time with my daughter, and to celebrate my birthday and Mother’s Day. We also scheduled our daughter’s baptism for this same weekend so my mom could attend since she’s recently taken up an interest in my religion.
I knew there would be a problem pretty quickly after they landed. We have small a local airport only 10 minutes away from us, but they always choose to fly to a larger international airport in a different state, rent a car, and drive over 2 hours to get here. There was an issue with their rental car and my mom started texting me to complain about it. I tried to brush it off and not get annoyed, but this happens every single time they come and there are obviously more convenient options. It took them over 3 1/2 hours to get to our city from the airport and I get texts like “omg we finally just now made it to our airbnb”.
I called her and it was clear that they had been drinking either on the plane, in the airports, or more likely than not, both - even though it was barely noon. She was annoyed and asked about our impending dinner reservation, which was several hours away still. I asked if she was going to come to our house to see her granddaughter beforehand, but she wanted to “relax” at the airbnb (aka drink more) and that my stepdad was trying to find a last minute barber in town because he was apparently unhappy with how his hair was overgrown. Never heard him mention a barber in my life so this was extremely strange to me.
A few hours go by and we’ve got about 30 minutes before we have to leave for dinner. I get a text from my mom asking if we can go pick her up at the airbnb alone. Due to my stepdads history I asked if everything was ok, and all I got in reply was “no”. I sent my husband over there and she was waiting on the street. When she got in his car and he asked if she was alright, she jokingly said “oh well I’m single now”.
I didn’t get much info out of her except he was “cranky” about their travel day and mad he couldn’t find a barber - again - so fucking random. They had gotten into a verbal altercation and he locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour. We’re talking about a 60 year old man here.. some people never grow up I guess. So she comes to dinner with the rest of our group of family and friends and acts like everything is ok. I tried to insist that she stay at our house that night because I didn’t feel that it was safe, but she went back to the airbnb anyway.
When she got back there, my stepdad and their rental car was gone, and he had turned off his location from her view. I called her and had a long hour conversation about how this behavior isn’t ok, that he’s manipulative, and that we’d be happy to let her live with us if that’s what it takes to get her out of this toxic relationship. She cried and agreed that what he does isn’t ok and that it’s a huge struggle for her and said “I’m not 100% sure but I think this is it for me finally”.
I wasn’t happy that it had come to this but I was glad to have a breakthrough with her, and be able to be blatantly honest. Also needs to be mentioned that when I talk to her on the phone, it is ALWAYS on speaker and he’s listening in. Even if he’s in the bathroom, she asks me to recap what I said if he comes back. Not just me, other family members notice this too.
While on this hour long conversation we talked about how he is no longer invited to my daughters baptism the next day or to my house and I offered to have my husband and I tell him ourselves, which she insisted that she wanted to handle herself to “soften the blow”.
So all this transpires, he apparently came back to the airbnb very late and apologized to her, and today she attended my daughter’s baptism alone. She was clearly upset about his absence, but I stood my ground. She asked if I had changed my mind about the rest of the weekend because “he was so apologetic” to her, and I again said no. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time but I’ve had enough over the last 28 years of him manipulating my mom. While we were packing up to leave the church she told me that she would probably be spending time with him because “he wouldn’t be ok” hanging out alone for the rest of the weekend. She also suggested that she would try to fly out again in a few weeks alone after the dust settles to spend time with me and my daughter.
When we were walking to our cars, my mom was borderline crying, didn’t say goodbye to me or my daughter, got into the car (she hitched a right with one of our friends since we didn’t have room in our car) and left. She didn’t come to our house, she didn’t show up for our planned lunch reservation, and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
At this point even if she does reach out and not just fly home in the next few days I’ve decided that the option is 1) she can be a part of my life and my family’s life if her husband isn’t around or 2) no-contact. I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve gone no-contact with them, but there were a time period over 10 years ago that I didn’t speak to them either and that lasted 3 years.
I know she’s not going to take it well when I tell her, and I’ve accepted the fact that she’s likely going to stay with him even if it means never seeing her granddaughter again. Or IF I get to tell her at all since she is not talking to me. Her airbnb is literally 1/2 mile from my house and we can see each other’s location so I know she’s just there with him and ghosting me.
So now I feel that I’m in a stalemate waiting for her to talk to me, just so that I can tell her that I can’t have her as a part of my life if her husband is always tagging along. I also want to make it clear that while I think it would be better that she divorce him, that’s not the ultimatum I’m wanting to communicate to her.
submitted by Over-Swim4100 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


http://activeproperty.pl/