What to write on the inside of a card to a friend

I will preface this by saying that I have not played the games. This is just my perspective after finishing the tv show, which I still really like. It’s also been forever since I watched it so.
So, in the world of The Last Of Us, one of the big background elements in the setting is the conflict between FEDRA, the remnant of the government currently in charge of the different safe zones throughout the country, and the guerilla resistance group known as the fireflies, who believe that FEDRA is a tyrannical dictatorship using safety as an excuse to stomp on liberty.
The show makes its a point to portray the conflict in a more morally grey light, what with the fireflies kidnapping Ellie and FEDRA holding executions and keeping people inside the safe zones by force.
Throughout the series, we keep hearing from other characters about how FEDRA is a military dictatorship, or how it’s run by fascists or blah blah blah, but we never actually see them do anything that isn’t either understandable if not justified.
In the first episode, we see the safe zone as a controlling but not necessarily tyrannical place. Yes, people are assigned jobs and there are public hangings and such, but overall nothing too out of place or dystopian for a post apocalyptic refuge. The only really morally ambiguous actions by them in that episode were when Tess was detained during a shootout between Fireflies and FEDRA (one that was started by a firefly on a roof taking potshots might I add), and they eventually let her go after realizing she isn’t a firefly and the guard buying drugs from Joel, but the dude was corrupt so of course he’d be morally fucked.
Besides that beginning episode, and the Kansas City arc (which I will get to later), they never actually do anything at all unless you count the stuff that the regular government did during the outbreak like shooting survivors when they ran out of room in safe zones, or that one soldier who shot Joel’s kid, though of course that was before FEDRA.
Then we get to the rebel groups, most notably the fireflies and the Kansas City rebels. Boy do I have a lot to say about these ones. For starters, Marlene is the biggest hypocrite on the planet, explaining to her plucky freedom fighters that they are fighting to take down an authoritarian government that puts down dissent, whilst simultaneously ordering them to follow her every order and not to question her at all. You also tend to notice how quick to violence they are at every possible encounter. An example of this was in the final episode, when they saw Joel and Ellie just walking through an abandoned camp, they immediately resort to throwing a smoke grenade and knocking them out with the butt of their guns without even bothering to just ask who they are, and why they were there. Whether or not you believe they would be able to get the cure from killing Ellie, outright assaulting the first people you see does fuckall to make you look like anything but bandits.
Backtracking earlier in the series, we see the Kansas City rebels, who are 10 times worse. (Side note: i think people said that the show mentioned the FEDRA at Kansas City was full of rapists and tyrants but I don’t remember that being mentioned in the show). They act less like freedom fighting anti authoritarian rebels and more like deranged psychopaths who start Joel and Ellie on sight and then assuming they were FEDRA just because they fought back in self defense, and their leader tells a bunch of imprisoned “collaborators” that they will get a fair trial…before exiting the room and promptly ordering her guys to kill them all.
You’d think that, with how screwed up the rebel factions act, the show would try to give us a good view at the atrocities FEDRA did, to atleast give a better understanding of why FEDRA is seen so poorly, but no they barely do anything at all in the series as explained earlier. Yet a whole bunch of characters keep telling us that FEDRA is a big bad dictatorship, with one character even saying “maybe the government are Nazis now but not before” when responding to his conspiracy theorist prepped lover, or Ellie’s friend trying to tell her that FEDRA is a military dictatorship, which is repeated by several characters.
It feels a lot like an instance of “show, don’t tell” where we aren’t shown any truly irredeemable or evil parts of FEDRA whilst the rebel groups are portrayed as violent terrorists, yet the show is trying to get us to believe it’s a morally grey conflict.
TLDR: The Last Of Us Show tries to make a morally grey conflict between FEDRA and the Fireflies and other rebel group, but fails to communicate what makes FEDRA morally grey and not just slightly flawed, while making the rebels look like ISIS on steroids.

I’ve got a lot on my mind and a lot going on but also nothing going on.
Im gonna be a dad next month and I’m turning 20 in a week.
I love my girlfriend and I’m happy I’m with her and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But if I’m honest I don’t have any friends, my best friend of 10 years I got rid off a few months ago because of shit that’s too long to even get into and at first I didn’t care and then now I wish I had a friend who I could just talk too or play games with or feel real with.
Not that I’m not real with my girlfriend, I just don’t have friends, and that’s my fault because I don’t go out and I don’t try to make friends, and the friends I had or people I know I don’t even talk too.
I mean I’m becoming a dad next month and I still don’t think it’s fully hit me like I live my life at my girlfriends dad on my PlayStation, not sure what to do with myself because of anxiety and my autism that I struggle with.
I know what I’m saying just seems a bit random I didn’t know what I was going to write before making this post.
But I feel lost at times but at the same time I’m happy but scared of being a dad what if I’m not a good dad? What if I get overwhelmed and not be a good dad.
I know having a dad with issues can fuck a kid up it did with me.
I miss my fucking dad, I wish he could of not had all the problems he had, I don’t ever talk about my dad, I just know when I do or when people I can’t even process my emotions.
But writing this post about my sheds tears in my eyes.
I just want to be the dad I always wanted, I don’t want to feel like a bad person because of shameful things I’ve done, or the issues I have.

Hey all,
I’m doing the untraditional route of having male “bridesmaids.” I went to engineering school back in college, so I mainly kept male friends by the time I graduated. And so I have male bridesmaids and a female bridesmaid. The male bridesmaids I’ve been friends with a lot longer and I’d say personality-wise I’m more like them than her. The female bridesmaid I met at work and got close to. But since my female bridesmaid also is a bit boyish I figured she’d be cool with them.
Tonight my female bridesmaid decided to have them over for dinner for the purpose of getting to know them for the first time. Unfortunately, it didn’t really go that way since she invited a really sociable friend of hers (we’ll call him Jay) who did all the talking with every body. She also invited another guy who she spent most of the evening interacting with. So she didn’t get to know my friends at all and she didn’t really try. They would ask her questions but she always gave them short answers. I don’t know if it’s just shyness, but Jay got to know everyone more than she did tonight.
Now, my male friends are big partiers which is opposite of my female bridesmaid’s vibe. They also have a very raunchy, risqué, and dark sense of humor of which I’m used to but it is not the sense of humor my female bridesmaid has. Typically they wouldn’t be cracking such jokes in a new place with new people, but Jay kept inciting it because he found it amusing and entertaining. So my male friends rambled on about crude inside jokes that kept Jay laughing. My female bridesmaid, on the contrary, is a very goody two shoes. I was getting the sense it was making her uncomfortable.
She sat to the side not really taking part of the convo. Occasionally she would laugh at the stuff my friends were saying, but I felt like it was a bit contrived. She was on her phone a lot which I later realized was due to her texting the other guest every time my friends would say something ridiculous. They’d make faces to each other because he too looked a bit put off. I did approach her during the event and apologized for the nature of their conversation. I also apologized to the other guest. I explained they wouldn’t be saying that stuff if it weren’t for Jay goading them on and they both just laughed. She also kept checking her watch, which gave me the hint that we should probably head out.
Before I left, I asked her what she thought about my friends and she laughed and said “uhhh… We’ll talk about it another time not here.” I went home and sent her a text thanking her for hosting us and apologizing for the things my friends were talking about and I never got a response from her. My male friends got the sense she didn’t like them all that much and even told me “I hope we didn’t embarrass you too much today.” I felt bad hearing that too because they were just having a blast with Jay and being themselves. Several times, they tried to switch to more appropriate topics, but like I said Jay kept goading them to keep on talking about the more risqué stuff. In fact, he told us he was pretty proud about bringing the worst out of them.
I don’t wanna put anyone in an uncomfortable position but I too felt like she didn’t have a good impression of them. Now I’m the one uncomfortable and dread this whole thing. I feel like I made a mistake counting her in for my bridal party since today really shined that overall our personalities don’t really mix.
I would love to hear your stories if personality clashes occurred with your bridal parties and would love to know how you handled that. Thanks ahead.❤️

What are the top 5 things people should focus on in life?
I'm a single male, in my early thirties and I'm blessed to make decent money, about $200k USD a year, I drive a nice car and live below my means so I don't have to worry about bills, supporting my family and investing in the market.
I work in the healthcare sector, with a decent work life balance, and I'd say I'm productive member of society.
I have a family that loves me, and friends that care, and I get along with all of my coworkers.
I have passed on multiple women who are interested in relationships and often decline to go out with friends and I don't know why. I feel lonely sometimes but also decline social interaction.
Why do I feel empty inside and struggle to form meaningful relationships. I find that it's hard to let people into my life, and often think to myself what's the point? I have a mostly cynical worldview.
I go to work everyday and just go home. I don't know why I don't feel like doing anything.
My room is a mess and needs to be organized but I don't care, sometimes I leave dishes in the sink for weeks and random clutter all over the floor.
My diet is horrible even though I know it's bad for my health.
I should exercise but I don't.
On the weekends I just stay home.

I want to make a list here of useful things, I think alot of people stumble around. I modded my 3ds in 2019 and have downloaded alot of different things over the years and these are the things that have stuck out. I am not really adding things everyone talks about. Some things people will recognize but I'm sure there's a few here you haven't heard of.
MUSIC:
BlargSPC: 3dsx application that plays dumped SPC files from SNES cartridges (and loops the music as if you're in game)
3DS VGMSTREAM: Plays .DSP files and many other file types from gamecube and other gaming platforms from SD by putting the files directly in a folder called Music in the root of the SD.
BCSTM PLAYER: Plays BCSTM files straight from your 3DS.
Lime Player: useful for playing most standard file types mp3 ect.
Ctrmus: comes with Luma, Basic mp3 player.
STEPPER: A Gameboy advance step sequencer booted from virtual console
Orchestrina: a Zelda ocarina emulator that let's you play a ocarina or windwaker songs.
UTILITY
Universal Manager: A really simple file browser for managing SD card contents
3ds Battery Mark: explains your batteries health
3DSident: whole system overview, shows specs and health of system
Net Pass: Brings back street pass in a new way, and revives Mii Plaza.
GYBT: custom badges on home screen super useful for customizing
Emulation: (NEW 3DS ONLY, OTHER METHODS EXIST ON OLDER MODELS VIA INJECTION)
Retroarch: A all in one emulator that runs well on New 3ds. You can forward PS1 games into CIA files with a PS1 forwarder.
SNES9X: 3DS fork of the popular emulator for snes. (Works on OLDER 3DS)
MGBA: great emulator for New 3DS. (Does not work well on OLD 3DS models I'd suggest using NSUI to inject the roms for performance reasons)
DaedalusX64: a nintendo 64 emulator that imo is just a proof of concept it barley runs any games well on NEW 3DS. some games run fine, most are unplayable. Compatability list online.
Twilight menu: uses the native DS guts inside the 3ds and boots into a DSI. Used to play Roms straight from DS card in a designated folder you choose.
Free SHOPS
H SHOP: alternative to freeshop/ eshop
Ghost Eshop: alternative shop with same view of universal updater
Universal updater: great place to update applications you already have
I know of some more stuff but this is what I wanted to list here.
I can edit later with links! But a simple Google search will bring up the githubs for gbatemp threads of all of these ✨️
Sometimes modding scene can be kinda harsh and mean. If anyone has any questions about any of these I'm willing to answer to the best of my ability.
Happy homebrew!

Obligatory throwaway account as my main user is known by friend mentioned.
I (20F) was invited to a vacation back in December by my friend (21F) to Disneyland. My friend, let’s call her Mary, invited me to this trip back in February of last year. We have known each other for over 8 years and this seemed like a no brainer to me to say yes. This trip comprised of six people: Mary, Mary’s sister Lucy (19F), Mary’s Mom, Mom’s boyfriend, boyfriend’s son, and myself.
For context, Mary and Lucy’s dad passed a few years back and mom got a new boyfriend pretty soon after. The sisters were not happy with this as boyfriend and son moved into their house. Because of this, we were separated into groups to do our own things, me & the sisters and then mom, boyfriend, & son. We were pretty happy with this arrangement as it allowed us to be independent and go at our own pace.
For this trip, the mom got a resort for all of us to stay at. As I was invited, I did not pay for my accommodation, only for my own traveling and food. We stayed for a whole week and had some rest days in between parks (important later on)
Fast forward and it is our first day at Disneyland. We get up early and go to the first park and start going on rides. Everything seems fine so far but then Mary chimes in that Lucy and I start walking too fast to get around. I tell her that I’m used to walking fast from past vacations so she can just yell at me to slow down and I will. Through the day she does tell me to slow down and I do! First day ends and the next day is a rest day.
I have never been on a vacation before with rest days and I am used to constantly doing something every day. I suggest to Mary and Lucy about going on universal for one of our rest days and they both say no thanks. I start planning on going by myself until I remember I have an online friend online that I would love to meet up with at the park. We then set plans to meet on the Fourth Day. I did try my hardest to convince both Mary and Lucy to come with me to universal but they were pretty stubborn in not going.
Third Day comes around and everything goes to shit. We get there pretty early because we wanted to get in line for a really popular ride. As we are scanning our cards to get in the park, Mary’s card is not scanning correctly. I look back towards Lucy who motions me to run ahead and grab us a place in line. I get in line and message in our group chat where I’m at. Now this is where I admit I messed up. Lucy messages that Mary doesn’t feel comfortable cutting ahead in line and I get a bit angry. I tell them I’m not moving from my place in line and they need to come up where I’m at. Lucy then says that Mary doesn’t feel good and they leave the line., telling me to go ahead
At this point my mind is just like WTF?! I leave the line and catch up to them but Mary walks away as soon as I get close. Lucy tells me that Mary is really angry and doesn’t want to talk right now. We both decide to let her cool off and talk about it later. Well the rest of the day goes by and we don’t see her again. I wasn’t in contact with Mary for the rest of the day but Lucy, throughout the day, tries to get her to come back. We find out later that Mary joined the other group for the day and went on the rest of the rides with them.
The fourth day comes around and I go out to see my friend at universal. When I go back to the resort, Lucy informs me that she had to sleep on the floor last night because Mary refused to share a bed with her. Lucy then shares a a bed with me for the rest of the trip and we decide to keep doing our thing until everyone cools off.
The fifth and sixth day come and pass, with me and Lucy by ourselves exploring the other parks. The seventh day comes and it is time to fly back home. We go to the airport together as a group but Lucy and I sit away from them on the plane as there is no assigned seating. I get picked up from the airport and trip is over.
It’s super close to Christmas so I don’t talk to Mary or Lucy. It isn’t until after the new year where me and Mary exchange conversations. From my perspective, I thought this was just something minor that would eventually look back upon and laugh but I was so wrong. I drop by Mary’s house to pay back some of the vacation money I owed her and we are chatting it up like nothing. Everything seems fine to me! A few weeks pass and our new school semester begins. I invite her out a few times but she claims school is giving her no time for breaks with fair enough. I stop reaching out as I also got busy then out of nowhere I get a message from Mary saying she wants to cut contact and considers our friendship over. Let me tell you I was devastated. I sent a message back but I think she blocked me and never saw it.
After a month of thinking about everything, I reach out to Lucy telling her that herself as well as Mary are still welcome to my house at any time as I know their home situation. She responds well and we meet up in secret to discuss everything. Turns out at home, her whole family turned against her blaming me and her for ruining the trip. Mary is also really mad that I went to go see my friend at Universal. Things eventually mellowed out and she’s back on speaking terms with Mary but the rest of the family are all fighting against each other for other reasons I won’t mention. Lucy told me she would try mentioning rekindling our friendship with Mary but then later let me know Mary is not interested at all.
Well, now I’m just kinda stuck here waiting to see what comes next. I still love Mary so much as a friend so it just kinda sucks this is were we are at. I know I should have reached out at some point to apologize but it just seemed so ridiculous that Mary couldn’t even tell me why she was upset directly, I had to get all my information from Lucy.
TLDR: I left my friend behind at Disney, she got upset and cut contact months later saying she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.

I wasn't even planning on making it to 17, here I am I guess.
I have maybe three friends, one of whom I met on here about a year ago, one of whom I met on amino at like age 11 and that I still talk to regularly, and the last I met on Instagram a couple years back, and talk to regularly.
I made and then lost one of the best friends I've ever had in the span of a year and a half.
I went from barely breaking the skin, to dermis, to fat, and now back to dermis.
I don't really know what the point of writing any of this is, I guess to look back and see if I've gained more than I've lost, if the pain has been worth it.
I don't know. You'd think I would've weighed that on the scales of my mind, figured out why I'm still going, but I haven't.
I'm really not sure why I'm still here, I guess for the hiking, the camping, walking the banks of a creek completely free from boot tracks, seeing things and places unseen for a hundered years or more.
I guess I stay because I'm scared of hurting someone when I go, so many of the people I love are so fragile in their own ways.
I don't really post on this sub anymore, but I wanted to make this post here.
I hope some of the people I used to know and see here are still around to read this. Stay safe y'all, I love you.

I forced myself to be attracted to people because I thought that's what I was supposed to do because all the other kids my age were being in love; I just became really good friends with my 'crushes' and never wanted to kiss, hold hands, or do more than just hang out; I never thought any of my classmates were attractive; if society deems someone attractive, then so do I; I never realize people are genuinely drawn to people they think are attractive and want to DO things with them; I think romance is gross when I see it IRL or between live-action people and think it should just stay in books or non-live-action media. I just think people of any gender presentation look pretty. Growing up, I developed a 'crush' on anyone who was nice to me; I had a crush on ALL my friends and just wanted to hang out with them a lot; I got super uncomfortable and my attraction faded when we became 'intimate' with me like holding hands or wanting to date; and I feel this towards ALL genders, so I thought I was pan. But inside my head is the only place I feel sexual and romantic attraction, and it's only between non-live action characters and is always experienced from a 3rd-person perspective. Love and sex are just a storyline to me; I feel the romantic and sexual emotions of the character I'm telling the story's perspective from, but once the storyline ends, so does my attraction. I have a libido; I still experience personal desires, but I find that they can be managed easily on my own. I feel very repulsed by the idea of having sex with someone else. But, when I do get aroused, it's sexual attraction to anyone of any gender, but again, it's viewed from the 3rd-person perspective. After the solo mumbo jumbo, the arousal and sexual attraction fade into nothing; I even get repulsed by sex and romance for a long while after solo spicy adventures. I genuinely don't understand how somebody looks at someone else and wants to touch them, kiss them, and have sex with them. It's always been "Oh, they're pretty!"; it's never been "Oh, they're pretty; I want to date/have sex with them!". When I was a kid, I was a hopeless romantic; I wanted to find my soulmate, but the way of doing that was unrealistic. It was more like a remix of a Disney movie rather than something I actually wanted. I saw other kids my age have crushes, and adults always asked me if I was going to get a boyfriend, so I always thought it was something I was supposed to want, but I don't. I'm fine with being single forever. I'm happy this way, but I also don't want to do anything with anyone, so I feel as though I'm somehow on both the a-spec and m-spec. I’m not sure how exactly. All I know is that I consider both men and women attractive, but I don’t necessarily care about their gender identity when it comes to finding them attractive or not. I honestly can't understand how someone wants to do romantic or sexual things with another person. I dated this one guy in my freshman year, and it only lasted a week, and I avoided him like the plague the whole time. I felt all mushy and blushy when we talked and did things together, but once we started dating, I got super uncomfortable. We texted, and I was a huge flirt, saying we could hold hands and all that stuff , but when I went to school and he wanted to hold hands, I didn't want that. I didn't like being touched in a romantic way. I'm fine with my friends, though. What's confusing is that, at the same time as never wanting or feeling romantic attraction, I still want to do those things. I literally only feel romantic and sexual attraction to fictional characters. Because I am attracted to [female OC] and [male OC] (currently speaking, not speaking about past fictional crushes). I always have the strongest desire to be with [female OC], touch her, kiss her, and do other things, but I don't feel those things in the real world. She is literally my soulmate. Yes, romance and sex are still just a storyline to me, but I would say that I am in love with her. And sometimes the same can be said for [male OC]. There are some moments where I, Rowan, will get blushy and just smitten over him, but again, it's never in the real world. Would this even be considered a romantic or sexual attraction? I think it would. It's very rare when I feel something for real-world people, but it's always on the a-spectrum, like cupioromantic or grey-, for example.
— Rowan (they/he)

Here’s some background information to help you guys assess the situation, I am a 60 year old woman, and this is a relatively new problem with my on and off again boyfriend for the past 13 years. It’s been a rollercoaster we’ve lived with eachother for multiple years and we’ve also broken up three times over the 13 years, the most recent breakup was my decision two years prior to this, and guy (we will name my boyfriend guy) took the break up very hard. We recently about 6 months ago started talking again and got back together, the sex that we’ve had now has been tremendously better than ever before it’s easily the best I’ve ever had, he performs differently it’s like he’s a whole different man in bed.
He recently got a new job a year ago and who else but his ex wife to work there as well! Him and his ex wife ended on bad terms 20 years ago and hadn’t spoken since, but when they saw each other at work they kinda became friends again. Anyways during sometime between the last time we broke up and since we got back together now, he had moved in with his ex wife because he had to leave where he was living at before. I later learned from guy that ex wanted to rekindle relationship, but allegedly guy had no interest and denied such offer.
He finally moved out from his ex a few months ago to his own home that he shares with roommates. It was weird to me once we got back together I had basically let everyone I know aware that we were back together but guy didn’t want to tell any of his family or friends or even his ex wife that has been blowing him up all the time.
He can’t really give me a reason why he hasn’t told anyone his response is “I don’t know” so that got me feeling a type of way, and I couldn’t but help go on his phone one night while he was asleep. Now he told me previously that he goes on porn sites (like every guy) which I have no problem with, what I have a problem with is this isn’t just porn it’s online dating sites and webcams that talk directly to the girls, I told him how uncomfortable this made me feel and he promised he would stop doing it immediately, some more background info, guy and my son have always been very close and kept contact thru all, and son let me know that since last break up guy had spent about $5k on dating sites (the shady ones that were probably fake) chatting with the girls.
Anyways after our talk about how he would stop, in short he didn’t, he would claim he keeps just getting notifications and doesn’t know how to make them go away so he would click it trying to delete it and couldn’t figure out how. Now I’ll give it to him at the time that sounded reasonable and I beleived him, I tried to delete them myself then from his phone, and I did but somehow the sites kept popping up in his history whenever I checked his phone. He again said they were just notifications but shoutout to google it clearly says what he typed in the search bar and then the links he clicked after typing.
At this point he just went irate and I think it’s cause he ran out of excuses and he just completely lashed out and went berserk, he began telling me this was all my problem and that I was the crazy one, every time this argument would come up (all the time) he would tell me it’s not his doing it viruses or notifications popping up , and always promises to me it’s not him going on the sites he’s just trying to get rid of them, but after every argument the sites kept popping up in his recent history, my instincts have been telling me this whole time that he is trying to establish a relationship (‘s) and is just using me in the meantime until something better comes along.
Sorry for writing a whole book but any input would be seriously appreciated! Thank you!!

This will function as a one-stop guide to sound deaden the 3rd generation Mazda3. I believe it will be useful for any previous or next-gen Mazda3 owner, or anyone with a CX-30, as these platforms share many components.
Like others undertaking this project, I did a ton of research on sound deadening, the process, and the products first before jumping in. I would encourage anyone pursuing the same project to read through the links I’ve included in this write-up as they should give you all the information you need to sound-deaden your car in a comprehensive, easy manner, without having to do the weeks of research I had to do.
Pre-reading:
If you haven’t already, read through this thread for background as this is a solid, comprehensive write-up.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening-my-17-mazda-3-bn.242072/
Materials Needed:
1. Butyl-based mat to apply first as your base layer
I used 72 square feet to do the entire car, including hood, wheel wells, full interior, rear hatch area, and all doors. I did not do the headliner.
Total cost: $200 CAD
I used 1 box of 2mm (80 mil) Kilmat, and 1 box of 2.5mm Amazon branded butyl sheets. I found the Kilmat had better adhesion and was easier to cut and work with, because of the smaller sheet sizes, so I used this for tight spaces and the doors. The Amazon stuff was great to apply to large areas such as the floor of the vehicle, because I would just stick one entire sheet down and be done with it. It’s also slightly cheaper than the Kilmat.
Other brands: Silless, which manufactures the closed cell foam, also makes this stuff for a reasonable price.

2. Closed cell foam as the second layer
I used 100 square feet.
Total cost: $200
I did a LOT of research and shopping around to find the best balance between price, value, and performance of closed cell foam. I ultimately landed on using Siless Liner 157mil (4mm) closed cell foam which I found on Amazon. Noico is also another brand that makes this stuff for slightly more cost. These come in boxes of 51 square feet for about $100. I thus bought two boxes of the stuff. I did end up with leftover product, which I have saved as it can be used to stick on anything else that causes noise such as a furnace, washing machine, etc along with the leftover butyl mat.

3. Rubber-based floor underlay as the final layer
I used a 100 square foot roll of Technoflex Underlayment Acoustic Membrane, 2mm thickness.
Total cost: $85
Product link: https://www.rona.ca/en/product/technofloor-technoflex-underlayment-acoustic-membrane-thermal-insulation-4-ft-x-25-ft-x-008-in-100-sqft-rubber-material-black-m2000-100-73015020
Alternate link: https://technoflexintl.com/en/product/technofloor-acoutstic
Other products I considered, but chose against as the Technoflex is thicker

• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/mono-serra-zito-200-ft2-15-mm-blue-high-density-foam-underlayment-for-vinyl-floors-fm-906-84666069
• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/selitbloc-griptec-subfloor-underlay-pressure-resistent-foam-48-in-w-x-25-ft-l-100-sqft-15-mm-thickness-blue-gold-a64305-05075003

In Canada, you cannot find mass loaded vinyl. My goal was to find something relatively cheap and functional. I went to underlay because it’s sold in bulk and there are many products out there to compare effectiveness. Flooring underlay also has specific requirements in order to carry a particular sound deadening rating. It’s also rubber-based, like vinyl, so I figured I would just double up on layering as I had enough product to do so. I did end up doubling up the layering in most places and had leftover product.
Please note, this product is not adhesive. You lay it down like a blanket and you need to cut it to fit in tight spaces. Thus, I did not use it in vertical areas like the doors. I only used it on the floor and trunk of the vehicle. I am not technically inclined enough to adhere or screw it on the doors, but there are other people in the links on this thread who have done so, so depending on your skill level it is certainly possible.

All Tools Required

1. Socket set with 10mm socket and a Phillips screwdriver. I purchased a full socket set because I did not have one and found one on sale.
2. E-torx socket size 12 to remove the front seats. I just purchased a set of 8 for $20
3. Trim removal tool and plastic clip replacements, approx. $20. Extremely useful!!
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
   • The metal trim removal tool is worth its weight in gold. Trust me, there are a LOT of plastic trim pieces to remove, and this tool makes them very easy to remove properly without breaking anything. All cars nowadays use plastic trim, so it’s a worthwhile purchase if you’re ever going to do work on any future car as well.
   • I purchased the set above because it came with a whole array of trim removal tools as well as a huge variety of replacement plastic trim pieces. I ended up using a couple pieces that broke when I did the doors. The kit has everything you may need for most vehicles, including our Mazdas.
4. Rubber roller, $12. Useful for rolling down the butyl mat and closed cell foam.
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
5. Do yourself a favor and get some gloves. I used my bare hands for about 50% of the time, and they were sore, and had little nicks and cuts all over them by the time I was done. Much easier with gloves.

Skill Level
I have a general interest in cars but the most technical work I’ve ever done are oil changes and tire swaps. This was the largest and most technical project I ever embarked on. I work an office job, so I don’t even work with my hands a lot. If I can do it, so can you (as long as you set aside the time and have the proper tools).

Results
I did not take before-after videos, as that has been captured by videos on Youtube as well as people who have measured the noise levels in the threads below. All I can tell you is that this does work. In my opinion, the project even for a newb like me is totally worth it. For less than $500, and a couple days of work, you can make your Mazda feel like an entirely different vehicle.

Now, sounds and vibrations are barely transmitted going over rough roads. The car feels so much more planted and stable when going over bumps. The audio system sounds better. The doors close with a rich-sounding ‘thunk’. By far the biggest improvement is getting a whole new level of isolation within the car, which makes long trips so much more tolerable and the daily commute so much more relaxing. I would 100% do this again.

The project
Okay, let’s get to the project itself! I’ve broken up each area of the car into separate sections. As the write-ups below are fairly comprehensive, there is no need for me to reinvent the wheel.

Doors
This link contains pictures and instructions, very clearly detailed, on how to do the doors. I did the rear doors first to get used to working with all the materials, then the trunk, then the interior of the car. I would suggest following these instructions.
https://imgur.com/a/2018-mazda-3-sound-deadener-install-vE1o9Hi
Before taking apart your doors, also read through this thread as it contains some more details and information that you will find useful.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/?post_id=1624345&nested_view=1&sortby=oldest#post-1624345
This thread is also good to read as it is very detailed. It is for the previous generation, but the door design has not changed that much compared to our generation.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/cheaply-and-effectively-sound-deadening-your-2010-2013-mazda3.111385/

Wheel arches
Use these links and instructions for the wheel arches
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/page-2
As well as the Imgur gallery from the Doors section for some more pictures.

Trunk
This is the easiest part of the whole project. If you’ve read the threads above, you don’t need any help with this. I did not do the hatch door. I do not think that is worth it, because if your trunk area is well insulated and you have your rear seat up, there’s not a lot of noise that’s going to get through the hatch door.

Interior
This is the part of the project that I had to figure out on my own, so I want to give several tips that will make it easier if you’re doing this.

~1. Removing the interior carpet:~
First vacuum the carpet.
You don't need to remove the entire console to get access to the majority of the floor. To remove the interior carpet, first remove the rear seat, then the front seats, then the interior plastic trim, and finally there are some pieces of Styrofoam in the front wheel wells. You can pull up the carpet for the left side of the vehicle as you work on that side, then tack it all down, and repeat for the right side of the vehicle.

~2. Removing the front seats~
First, disconnect the battery using the 10mm socket. This is recommended by the manufacturer to prevent accidental discharge of the air bags.
If you have the E-torx size 12 socket, removing the seat bolts is a breeze. I zipped them right off. Undo the back bolts, then slide the seat to its rearmost position, then remove the front bolts. Roll the seat onto it’s back to access the harness, undo the harness, then remove the front seat either from the front or rear door. It doesn’t matter.
Go to this site and download the PDF that Anchorman posted. That is all you need to know to remove the front harness. It took me HOURS of searching the web to find a resource this good – there aren’t even any good videos demonstrating what the PDF shows. https://www.cx3forum.com/threads/drivers-seat-removal.17234/
This was both the easiest and hardest thing about the project. Where I got stuck was removing the wiring harness from underneath the seat. Don’t be like me and stick a screwdriver in there, because that can damage the plastic. Instead, simply lift the white tab, press the tab underneath, and the harness comes off nice and easy. The link above with the PDF by Anchorman is what I WISHED I had at the start. I hope this will make it much easier for you.
Don’t be worried about the airbag going off etc. Using the diagram in the PDF, it’s just 1 harness and it comes off super easy and clips back in super easy too. It’s idiot-proof. You won’t have any trouble.

~3. Remove the interior plastic trim~
Again, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aat4kUanm9w to see how to remove the trim and in what order. It’s actually quite easy and easy to reinstall as well. Just remember that the front and rear passenger scuff plates go on last. The other interior trim, does not matter what order you reinstall it.
Another tip, when removing the furthermost front inside trim (i.e the fusebox cover) and its equivalent on the front passenger side, there is a plastic nut securing that trim in place at the very front of it. It’s hard to see in there. Simply reach your hand in there, find the nut, and lefty-loosen it all the way until it comes off. Easy peasy!

~4. Remove the carpet~
You can pull up the carpet one side at a time. I recommend starting with the left side. In one area only, I cut through my carpet in order to remove it on the rear passenger areas, where it is affixed underneath the front seatbelt holder. This is not a problem. It was just easier this way, and because that area gets covered up by plastic trim, it doesn’t matter if you cut through it to make your life easier.
Once the carpet is lifted up, vacuum underneath it to ensure you have a clean surface that your butyl will adhere to.

~5. Do the driver’s side first!~
The front left side of the vehicle floor is the hardest to do because you have to contend with the footrest, reaching underneath the steering wheel, and the gas pedal. I removed the accelerator pedal – it is just held in place by two 10mm nuts, and then an electrical harness that easily clips off. Remove it and set it aside. Then, lift the carpet and remove the Styrofoam. Use a needlenose plyer to help unclip the plastic portion holding the Styrofoam in place. I did not end up reinstalling that plastic piece, as I installed sound deadener where it would have plugged into the floor. No harm.
I suggest doing the driver’s side first because once you’re done that front left area, the rest of the car is super easy. So do this while you’re fresh. Try to cover as much as you can in the front wheel wells, because that is a significant area of incoming road noise. Be systematic about cutting the butyl and closed cell foam in the correct sizes here, as you will have to reinstall the gas pedal, the Styrofoam, and the carpet properly. The good news is that it’s all easy to reinstall. I didn’t have any trouble.
Once you’re done with the driver’s compartment, systemically work your way with large butyl sheets and closed cell foam through the rest of the car floor. There is no need to apply this stuff up where the plastic trim will be reinstalled, on the inside lateral frame of the car – if you do so, it might be more difficult to reinstall the carpet and the plastic trim. Just do the flat bottom floor only, and you can hold the carpet up to access up along the centre console as well. (Keep in mind this is written for someone with my skill level – i.e newb. If you are more advanced and know what you’re doing, then go ahead and put some butyl or CCM in the inside lateral area, the area otherwise covered up with plastic trim).
I did not go for 100% coverage. To do that would take a lot longer. I went for about 90% coverage with the butyl and closed cell foam, and the rubber Technoflex layers covered up pretty well 95% of the area.
When you are laying the material down, ensure not to cover the holes for the seat bolts. If you do by accident, no worries – just use a screwdriver to poke through them, and you can easily still thread the bolt through when you go to reinstall your front seats.
Repeat the same steps on the right side of the vehicle.

~6. Reinstall the plastic trim.~
First reinstall the carpet and ensure all the holes line up. Reinsert the plastic clips into the holes to hold the carpet in place. Then, reinstall the frontmost trim piece, ensuring it clicks into place, and finally screw the plastic nut on. You may need to lift the rubber insert around the door to replace the plastic trim properly – the rubber insert comes off and goes on very easily, it is very forgiving to work with.
Then, install the B pillar trim piece. Then, the inside rear trim piece. Finally, the scuff plates, front and rear.

~7. Reinstall the front seats.~
~8. Reinstall the rear cushion.~
~9. Plug in the battery again.~
You’re done! Go for a rest drive and let the results speak for themselves!

Final thoughts
I did not take pictures because I was too busy installing the stuff and there are plenty of pictures available on the various threads.
I did reach out to many people on the forum and on Reddit who have done this project and from everything that I’ve learned, I believe this should be all you need to know to do this project successfully.
It will take several days so set some time aside. Here are some rough estimates:

• Trunk: 2 hours
• Each door: 2-3 hours (first door will take longer, then each door after gets shorter and shorter)
• Wheel wells: 2 hours
• Inside Hood: 1 hour
• Interior: 9 hours. Set aside a full day for this. You will want to take breaks in between steps. It took me from 10am to 8pm.

I thought it would be beneficial to share my IELTS experience (academic, computer-based) to decompress and de-traumatise myself haha.
I'm not a native English speaker, but I've lived in an English-speaking country for around 13 years now. I speak English daily and hardly ever use my first language (I hate it; it's so ugly). I need at least a score of 7 in every category for registration purposes. Basically, if I can't deliver, I cannot pursue a certain career. I breathe English, I think in English, I basically AM English. IELTS, pffff, should be a piece of cake, right? Oh boy, was I wrong.
I forced myself to do a little one-week IELTS bootcamp before my actual test, you know, just to be prepared and not waste money as this dumb test costs a fortune. I used the official practice tests. Listening? No worries, easily got an 8.5/9 every time. Reading? MHM. In my first reading test, I had 24 correct answers out of 40... The stupid YES / NO / NOT GIVEN questions were wonderful for someone who overthinks A LOT. I looked up some strategies and then got 8.5/9 every time for reading. EASY. Writing? I literally just looked at the structures needed and memorised a couple of fancy words. EAZZZYYYYY. Speaking? Well, I'm awkward as hell and introverted, but hey, I can speak if needed. All good. Also, there’s not really much to prepare for.
Fast forward to the testing day. I used a new shampoo the evening before (voluminous & shiny hair) and went to bed with wet hair. When I woke up, my hair had so much freaking volume, it exploded so much that it now basically filled my entire room. It was intimidating. No time to do anything about it - I put a cap on, and this somehow tamed it.
You should be there 30 minutes before your test starts. Traffic was a nightmare; I was there 20 minutes before the test and had no idea there was an introduction. I walked into a room full of people, listening to someone explaining stuff. Everyone stared at me. My nervous self became even more nervous, and my face probably mutated into a tomato. "Sorry," I mumbled and sat down somewhere in the darkest corner. We were then informed that 1. we are not allowed to take food with us. It really stung because I had this new tiny delicious protein bar with me as a treat, carefully chosen the day before. 2. We weren't allowed to wear watches and mobiles needed to be turned off. 3. The introduction lady stared right into my soul: "NO headwear is allowed." I had to remove my cap, guys. It was so messed up. My hair was everywhere, and I felt like a miserable mop. You then basically get married to your passport. DO NOT FORGET TO BRING IT. One girl got disqualified because she didn't have hers. Hold on to yours; you need it for EVERYTHING. The number of times they checked mine, before, during, and after, was insane. The whole test building was a mess, by the way. It was old, it smelled, it was damaged, and there was NO light. I felt depressed the second I entered that damn building. We then got herded into a tiny room with really old computers. Guess what? Passports got checked again. We were around 10 people, and they had just checked them before sending us into the room. Anyway, the test started. Listening was great, except apparently I don't know how to write "volcano" correctly. I went to the bathroom before the test, but I could already feel my bladder getting annoying during that part. When I started the reading section, my whole body was shaking. It was insanely cold in that room; I was wearing a hoodie. The reading part was so much harder in comparison to the practice tests. This also may have had something to do with the articles I got. They didn't interest me in the slightest and my nervousness was making it really hard to focus. I wiggled my way through it but had around 8-9 questions I wasn't sure of. Fun fact: they had 2 sections of these stupid NOT GIVEN, TRUE / FALSE questions. Just to celebrate my existence. I panicked a little during that section and ran out of time in the end. The reading part takes around 1 hour, and by then I felt tired, HUNGRY, exhausted... and I was almost peeing myself. They don't stop the time for you, so what kind of idiot goes to the toilet during an IELTS exam? Yes. I was that idiot. I lost 5 minutes of time for my writing exam. I honestly should have worn a diaper. I really needed those 5 minutes. Long story short: after task 1, my thoughts were "That's pretty meh, I'll come back and sparkle it up later." I ran out of time for task 2. I had 7 minutes left when I was working on my second paragraph. I didn't have a conclusion yet; I didn't proofread. Task 1 was simultaneously breathing down my neck. Guys, it was an absolute shit show. I also started freaking out, which probably didn't help much. I spewed out a conclusion, 3 sentences which did not make ANY sense. I tried to finish my second paragraph, which also now does not make ANY SENSE. And I wasn't able to proofread any of it. Did I mention the computers were ancient? You had to basically spank the keyboard for it to work. I'm sure there are lots of missing letters. Fark mi life.
Once I slumped out of that dark testing room, I honestly could have cried. I felt fragile, exhausted, HUNGRY, and just massively disappointed with myself. I just wanted to roll home and die in bed. But wait, I totally forgot - there was one more part to tackle. SPEAKING. Yay. A fun thing to do when you feel absolutely broken.
I had to loiter around for an hour, cap proudly back on my head, stuffed my face with the protein bar (which turned out to taste like an old sock), gulped down some water and an energy drink. I hadn't had caffeine for over 3 years, so drinking an energy drink might not have been the best option. I FELT SO ALIVE AND EVERYTHING PASSED IN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. YEEEEW HAAAAH. I galloped back into the testing center, peed my insides out in the bathroom (I've learned), stared into the mirror, took off my cap for one millisecond, and decided it was best to keep wearing it, for humanity. I sprinted out of the bathroom, wasn't even surprised that my passport got checked again, and, did I mention? They also love your fingerprints. They got taken around 5 times while I was there. "NO HEADWEAR." I had to take that damn cap off again and could feel my hair fluffing up. HOW CAN ANYONE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WITH THAT HAIR? I now had to engage in an actual conversation with an actual human. First impression was out the window, bet. I had to sit around for 20 minutes, not being able to use my phone or anything. I could not sit still. I watched people leave other rooms, crying. Finally, the door opened, and I was let in for my speaking test. The tester was literally a machine in human form. He mechanically read questions to me. I didn't feel strongly about ANY question he asked me. They were all so boring, and I literally had nothing to say. One of them, for example, was "Does your family have an old belonging? What is it? And what do you know about it?" My family are minimalists; they don't keep stuff. There I was, having to give some sort of stupid presentation in one minute, and I literally had NOTHING to talk about. Guys, don't let this dishearten you though; just make stuff up. I ended up word vomiting on him. He had to stop me multiple times. I felt annoyed with how much I was talking, but hey, at least I said something. He knew I could yap and speak English. We were all good. After that, I had heart palpitations and am still high on caffeine while writing this.
If you have any questions regarding the test, I can attempt to help you. If you messed up your writing and potentially reading test, I feel you. I will very likely have to spend between $199-300 to resit it. I absolutely hate the IELTS and hope to tick it off... soon.

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Hello all! I’m writing this post for a little insight (read: reassurance) regarding the Goddess, Athena.
I have recently been getting really into chess, and after my night of drinking and partying with friends (a regular occurrence thanks to my deep love for the God, Dionysus) a random thought occurred to me. Is there a God or Goddess of chess? A little research lead me to Caïssa, but it didn’t quite click for me.
But then I thought about what makes chess such an addictive game. The strategy, intense action, and wisdom required to become a master. Some even go so far to describe chess as a battle or war of wits.
The Goddess, Athena, is regarded as Goddess of war, intelligence and strategy. Would it then follow that she could appropriately be regarded as Goddess of Chess. Or, at the very least, could she lend her skills in these areas toward the game of chess? I’m curious to hear how others feel about this, or if you think my reasoning checks out.
Athena is not a God I frequently work with, or even really acknowledge if I’m being honest. In fact, despite my love for a few other Gods, Dionysus is the only one I have ever truly reached out to.
Should I attempt to reach out to Athena in one way or another to get an idea of how she feels regarding this association I’ve come up with in a drunken haze? I plan on meditating on this thought tomorrow, assuming I’m not wildly hungover.
Note: I wrote this post a few hours after getting home from my night out. I can usually still type out my thought fairly well even after a few too many drinks, but if it seems like I’m rambling or not making sense I blame the wine.