After a long time, I finally decided to check out the fanbook to deepen my understanding of the story. I usually don't trust databooks because most of them are just a rehash of stuff stated in the manga written by some random person, but around 80% of this is written by the author himself, so I think it's worth reading.
As I was reading, I noticed a lot of details that I thought that most people don't know of, so I wanted to provide the more interesting pieces of information to those who don't want to bother reading the entirety of it.

1. Itadori only knows a little bit of karate (Imo most characters know little if not no martial arts officially). Which means he's highly talented, as his martial arts techniques (i.e. manji kick) is purely on instinct, even though nobody taught him how to do it
2. megumi feels sad when his shikigami die, as opposed to strangers dying
3. megumi has seen other friends die before, and he's been a sorcerer for a reasonably long time, implying he started earlier than high school
   1. but it also says he didn't get assigned missions, and rather it was only when gojo brought him along. So perhaps there is missing context and that he just lost his friend in his first year of jujutsu high?
4. Nobara was taught how to use her technique by her grandmother. Idk if her grandmother had the same CT. The fanbook (for kusakabe's page) states you don't need a CT to help train somebody else on how to use their CT, so it could go either way. I'm leaning towards that the granny had the same CT though.
5. rika and yuta can see what the other sees.
6. hakari looks old, but he was never held back a school year, he's the same age as everyone else in his grade (~18 probably)
7. apparently hakari got into an argument with a conservative (similar idealogy to higher ups), beat the shit out of him, and got expelled. idk if beating up the conservative is the direct reason or an excuse for other issues they had with him
8. Mai's first love was maybe fushiguro, and also a low chance of being maki
9. muta (mechamaru) has "cursed energy output beyond measure". I suppose that makes sense, as if his output towards his puppet was weak, then there's no way the puppet itself could be semi-grade 1. Now the real question is if his output is even greater than the likes of sukuna and ryu (output relative to their reserves).
10. Gege came up with Todo based on Zaraki Kenpachi (Bleach)
11. gege's view on kenpachi is "if this guy’s around, you won’t die (because he’s strong)". gege's view on todo is "if this guy’s around, you won’t die (because it would turn into a gag)"
12. Todo's scar is due to extreme training with Yuki
13. Momo's dad (flying broom girl) is an american sorcerer (basically the only confirmation america has sorcerers)
14. Gege can't see Gojo being faithful to a woman romantically
15. "The Six-Eyes essentially is "eyes that see cursed energy extremely clearly"." Still doesn't really clarify much, but maybe it helps to know, idk.
16. "Even objects that have no cursed energy can be made out by the remnants of cursed energy or the flow of cursed energy around them" I assume that's how he "sensed" Toji.
17. Gojo recruited Megumi, Yuta, and Yuji solely(?) because they are strong/talented, I say that cause the fanbook also says that gojo didn't care about other details when recruiting them.
18. Apparently Gege himself said that Nanami's 4 consecutive black flashes was during Night Parade of a Hundred Demons. I thought it was just a creative liberty by the anime.
19. Mei Mei's favorite food is a type of malaysian food, so I guess she goes there often?
20. Mei Mei's possesses almost 50 billion yen ($318 million). This is before shinjuku showdown.
21. Mei Mei is an alias not her real name. I guess that's why she and ui ui don't share surnames. Ui Ui's likely isn't real either.
22. Gege says not much of Geto's will remained in shibuya. He compared it to a dragonfly's head moving after being decapitated. (it's so gojover)
23. Apparently the scars from brain hopping can be healed with rct, but kenjaku doesn't because of a binding vow. What that binding vow is, and if Yuta has the same vow, idk.
24. The main reason Uraume has the right to be with sukuna is because she can cook delicious meals, apparently
25. Kenjaku met Mahito through Jogo, rather than finding mahito himself
26. When asked about the camraderie between the disasters, Gege said "Definitely yes, but maybe kind of no"
27. Dagon apparently has an interest in Hanami (no further description)
28. Rika is implied to be a psychopath and definitely a yandere (my opinion) but Yuta is him and fixed her (kinda?)
29. Wasuke (itadori's grandpa) died to lung cancer, no sorcery shenanigans
30. "The last chapter and key points of the ending have been decided, but there are many parts of the narrative until then that still haven't been defined. Fushiguro's ending is set, but not Itadori's." This could have changed though.
31. it has been around 400 years since someone with the six eyes was born. But considering how gojo head and zenin head killed each other then, and that was around the keicho (1596-1615) or edo period (1603-1868), so we can assume it's where they overlap, which is around 400 years ago. So they're probably talking about the same person. 400 years since someone had six eyes + limitless. limitless might have popped up between those 400 years though.
32. Gege himself says he planned to say that if Geto didn't split up his forces in jjk 0, he would have won. In the end he conveyed this through Kenjaku. So it seems it's not mere speculation by a character but what the author himself believes.
33. (against jogo's domain) "Was Itadori fine in there thanks to Sukuna, thanks to Gojo or thanks to him being no ordinary person himself? Please, choose whichever you like best." It's interesting cause gojo makes the most sense, but gojo wasn't even touching yuji. So I wondered what the answer was, which...canonically doesn't exist :/
34. "The rock Gojo suddenly smashed inside the domain was a “Meteor” unleashed by Jogo as a testing measure and it didn’t have any sure-hit effect." I was always confused by this since gojo managed to react to a sure hit, which I thought was supposed to be invisible. Apparently it wasn't invisible since it wasn't a sure hit. So then, did gojo stop it with infinity, or just CE reinforcement? Also, does the domain itself nullify defenses, or is it the sure hit aspect that does? and does the sure hit work because it travels through defenses, or because it spawns already past the defense? And apparently you can use a CT in a domain without sure hit too? I mean I guess, but why would you? Ah, so many questions I would like to ask Gege directly.
35. Junpei summons/creates his shikigami through his hair
36. (commentary for mahito vs. yuji and nanami) "I had already decided early on that cursed techniques would become unusable for a short period of time following Domain Expansions, but I ended up changing the specific wording from “impossible to use” to “difficult to use” in the process of finishing up this chapter’s storyboard. That’s why Mahito seems to be in pain at the end." mahito using his CT pretty much right after the domain can't be coincidence, especially since gege went out of his way to say this. Considering how even the most skilled sorcerers can't use their CT after a domain, the capacity of using it right after likely depends on 1) being a cursed spirit, and 2) how simple your CT is, like ryu
37. "To tell you the truth, I think Maki catching a bullet might have been a bit too much, but… Well, it’s fine!" Maki had to perfect her heavenly restriction before properly reacting to mach speed naoya, and yuji in shibuya was stronger than maki but still was barely dodging piercing blood, so reacting to a bullet faster than mach speed in goodwill doesn't really make sense.
38. Hanami was given a female voice because that's how Gege envisioned it.
39. Todo's technique was initially going to be called "Fruits Basket"

This is just what I thought was interesting/important information. If you are feeling interested in it, then go check it out for yourself. Link to google doc
Also keep in mind this an interpretation, of an interpretation, so I might have gotten some things wrong, as others have pointed out in the comments.

Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
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My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
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Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
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I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
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To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).

Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).

Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
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Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
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I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
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To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).

11:15am.
I was waiting for her to arrive. We started talking just a week ago on Bumble and yet managed to exchange only a few pleasantries throughout the week; I had already written off the conversation until late at night yesterday.
Yesterday, at 11:45pm.
I got an App notification from Bumble, "You have a new message." That's odd, I wasn't actively talking to anyone on the app. I thought maybe this was another one of those 'bugs' that would lure me to open the app and participate in this virtual roulette wheel of finding gratification through others. Swiping left on profiles I don't like, rejecting people and their life experiences because their interests don't align with mine. I felt like a dictator presiding in his court, sitting at a long mahogany table with a high chair at a trial against his rebel. The only difference is these are strangers on an app, and I get to decide whether they are a worthy mate. I don't understand myself fully yet.
I have the power to deem someone unworthy of me. "What's that on her nose?" "Her smile isn't genuine." "She has too many piercings for my liking." This is modern love, Megalomaniacs walking through a house of mirrors, laughing at each other's reflections.
Everyone is performing, Faking their intimacy. Trying to be a counterfeit of a fictional character that says the exact catchphrase repeatedly. A bio with a time stamp of when Jim kissed Pam in their bio followed by an "if you know, you know."
What if I don't? Is it that relevant to the collective consciousness? Napoleon waged war on the entire world at 35 and conquered it. Men that age today fight over vape flavors. Dating profiles with pictures of you at exotic vacation spots, "I found myself in Bali." Were you really lost? Or were you too busy performing? When was the last time you felt alive? Was it when you had that long island iced tea at the beach flaunting your expensive bikini that favorably accentuates your curves? Or was it when your high school crush liked that story you posted on Instagram? Remember? That photo of you at the beach which profiled your ravishing legs while they glistened in the Sun with the sea in the landscape? Was it the night your father died in the adjoining room while you were asleep? What were his last words? Surely not Bazinga. All this performing has turned us into gypsies, constantly arriving somewhere but with a feeling of withdrawal. Trying to fill the void by living life to the fullest but feeling emptier by the day. Ghosts are real; take a look inside.
I fired the app up, and it was not a trick. I indeed received a message. It was her. "Do you want to meet tomorrow?" The message read.
I was taken aback by the suddenness of this request but admired her initiative after a week of radio silence. The last message before that read, "Are you still around on this app?" This message usually was my eulogy for a dead person on these apps. A person dies many deaths in their lifetime.
I was not too keen on the idea, but I had to reply quickly; you can't express doubt on these apps as a man. I was always uncomfortable with a blank slate, meeting someone for the first time and starting over, the emphasis on trying to be genuine and yet impress; the barrier of spoken word communication is that I can never give the receiver a full context of what I'm thinking. A word I index from my vocabulary can mean a myriad of things based on the cognitive bias of the person on the other side of the table. Conversations have to be built upon many assumptions and are often shrouded in mystery. My biggest concern is whether I can help the other person understand. In that sense, can anything be the 100% objective truth? It's cutthroat competition out there; I don't know this person. Besides, it was a hectic week, and I would rather sleep in.
Typing.......
"Hey, I'm not sure. I really wanted to sleep in tomorrow. Work has been crazy."
I stared at the brightly lit-up screen due to the white canvas of the chat window. I closed my eyes as the weight of my message found itself hanging in between worlds. The white screen was temporarily stamped on my retinas. I exhaled very violently, and before I realized it.
Select all
Delete
"Tomorrow, 11:00am. CP?"
Ugh, why do I do this to myself? I wanted to have some alone time, and now I have to prepare myself with mock conversations by running multiple simulations of how a good first date is supposed to be. You want your chat to be free-flowing and yet ensure it doesn't run amok and deviate into subject matters that require heavy opinions where an argument is waiting to spur. You have to keep it light & breezy and yet not be boring. Brilliant people are often incorrectly labeled as boring. The problem with being a genius is you have to be consistently good at one particular thing, and that one thing may not appeal to the interests of everyone. I've been an introvert all my life and am good at observing people from a distance. I'd likely pick up on social cues very quickly, but the fact of the matter is I become hyper-aware in a mano y mano showdown.
Two ticks appeared next to my message, signaling that it had crossed the virtual barriers and reached her. My error is now irreversibly etched into digital libraries stored in encrypted logs echoing through the infinite space-time of large server rooms. An error that gets reciprocated through infinity becomes an assertion. An assertion strong enough to bring me here.
I usually go to sleep looking out the window and staring at the cars passing by. The light hum of the engines jostling against the wind, which simulates the sound of a breeze rustling through the leaves of a tree, is very comforting. Closest you'll feel to nature in this concrete jungle. I was not looking out the window. I looked at the ceiling, wondering what was in store for me the next day. The shadows of the cars now gliding on the ceiling walls of my bedroom, momentarily merging in light and disappearing in the dark. It looked like the ghost of perdition of my previous bad dates had come to mock me by dancing on my roof.
9:00 am.
I woke up early with a weird sensation under my body. Turns out I had slept on my arm. This is the closest I've been to sleeping with the feeling of someone else's touch.
I had to shave; look pretty. I was quickly running through the things I could say that would make a good first impression. I had already sprayed the shaving foam on the palm of my hand and started to rub it on my face. "Hey, nice to meet you." Too basic. "I've been expecting you." Too creepy. "Oh! How embarrassing, I was planning on wearing the same thing.", Too risky. "What's up?" Seriously? I should jump out my window into the oncoming traffic. It's a good idea, but I've already shaved half my beard. I wouldn't want the news to read, Man dies in a shaving accident. My school of thought distracted me, and I accidentally pierced my skin with the razor. Tiny crimson beads began to appear on my neck. I gathered them on my thumb, licked them off, and quickly finished the rest of my shaving.
I picked out my outfit, decided to be bold today, and sported my charcoal black jeans. I paired them with a lilac shirt that slightly clung to my body. It gave my torso and waist a good definition. I am not used to having sharp features. Still, two years into my fitness journey, I feel confident enough to wear smart clothes but not the kind of confidence where I can thump my chest and invite someone for a fight in a nightclub. Some might say I'm still a fat person trapped inside a moderately fit person's body or 'Transfit' for the lack of a better term.
I quickly slapped on some aftershave which immediately seeped into the open cuts and burnt through my skin. Put on a perfume that added a zesty depth to my presence. After popping a couple of breath mints, I was ready to march down to the Colosseum and fight for my love life.
10:58am.
I reached the rendezvous point, which was meant to be the place where we decided to dedicate 2 hours of our time to each other. I'm looking around the café. It is a busy afternoon. The café was pretty. She picked it, after all. The café had earthy-looking furniture, which complemented the muted color tones of the walls and the dim lighting. The whole aesthetic of this place was comforting. The café had large windows and was located on a narrow street, surrounded by small bungalows from end to end. Soft, natural light filtered through these large windows, casting a soft glow upon the carefully arranged furniture. The place was filled with the aroma of coffee beans and freshly baked delicacies.
11:15am
She walked through the door, emerging as a mere silhouette against the sunlight. The dimmed lighting in the café briefly lit up her jawline as she started looking for me. I immediately got up from my seat and waved like a little kid to tell her that I had secured a spot for us. As she noticed me, her furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips immediately beamed into a smile as she met my gaze, and this was the first time I set my gaze on her, she was wearing a summer dress and black boots, which really made her look adorable yet but there was a touch of elegance to the way she carried herself. With hurried steps, she rushed towards me. A tiny sling purse was hanging by her waist, oscillating back and forth as she approached. You could tell how apologetic she was about being late by the urgency in her steps. "I'm really sorry, I got stuck in traffic near Saket metro station" "Sun rises in the east, and there's congestion near Saket metro station! both are permanent truths." I mumbled.
"I'm sorry, what?" She said. And I proceeded to repeat my quirky comment slightly louder, to which she giggled uncomfortably, still feeling a bit of guilt about being late, I assumed. I quickly backed up my quirky opener with some conversation, "So..... What's up?" Oh my god, I really did end up saying What's up? While she was busy replying to my very creative and original inquiry, I was busy screaming internally,
"YOU MORON, YOU REALLY SAID, WHAT'S UP? AFTER ALL THAT PLANNING & PREPARATION, ALL YOU COULD COME UP WITH WAS, WHAT'S UP? YOU HAVE THE CONVERSATIONAL CAPACITY OF A FORK, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID"
"Should we order? I'm starving", I snapped back to reality with this request from my date. "Yes, certainly, I think you should take the Egg and Ham croissant and the Vietnamese Iced coffee. Given that you just walked in, and it's burning up outside." I said without a second thought. I looked up at her, and for the first time, I got to have a good look at her face. She had slightly big eyes with a dark hazel hue, which made her look extremely innocent. She had a dainty pointed nose that she had contoured with amazing craft, adding sweetness to her visage. Her lips were elegantly narrow, the pink lipstick she wore made her entire face look radiant, and the shade complemented her dress and dusky complexion. This was when I noticed a shiny stud just underneath her lower lip, it was a piercing, and it looked like an "ON/OFF" button you could press. After battling my intrusive thoughts for a moment, I caught myself staring at her lips for quite some time, but the piercing kept distracting me when I noticed her lips curve into a smile. "So you're already dominating me around, huh? You think I can't handle my own order" She had a mischievous glint in her eyes. " No! God no! I just wanted to save you the trouble since you were hungry. These are my favorite items on the menu". She chuckled and gave me a playful slap on my hand, "Relax, I was just pulling your leg. I'm actually impressed with your recommendation. I really wanted to have a croissant and an iced coffee."
"Great! So umm, why'd you get late?" I already regretted asking that question. I wasn't trying to interrogate her or anything. Her previous joke took me completely off guard, and I just went with the first thing that came to mind. "Oh, I usually like to sleep in late on Sundays. I was binge-watching K-dramas all night and forgot to set my alarm" She sounded assertive and not as apologetic as before. "Oh great, I've never watched K-dramas before. Can you recommend a show for a K-drama virgin?" I replied. "Hahaha, Yes! But are you sure you're ready for such a commitment?" There it was again, that mischievous look. "Mhm, We'll need a safe word." I said while leaning into the conversation. "That we will" She caressed her chin playfully and narrowed her eyes. "How about Shaadi?!" she exclaimed. Her suggestion made me laugh, "That doesn't sound like a safe word at all. It sounds like a warning!" "Exactly! It effectively solves the purpose", She raised her hand towards me for a high-five, which I immediately acknowledged. "Only in today's world can you make someone stop by threatening commitment" My comment widened her eyes, and her lower lip gently rolled out into an upside-down grin that hooded the stud under her lips, suggesting that she was impressed, "That was deep." She commented. I wanted to add a "That's what she said!" as a reply to her comment to follow up something profound with something funny, but I chose against it in that fleeting moment. I wanted to impress her by highlighting all my qualities. That would certainly give me her undivided attention. I felt like a child. We've learned from childhood that social interactions are like a game of chess. We watched our parents at Family gathering carefully crafting narratives teetering between the truth and exaggeration, waiting their turn to share another anecdote or achievement. When they ran out of their inventory, they would subliminally vie us against our cousins, Boasting about what feat their offspring pulled off this time and that well-intentioned smile from your parents to you, followed by a suggestive nudge of the elbow, sometimes with an underhanded question, "Did you hear that?" which meant go ahead, do something, say something quirky and get the attention of all the adults.
11:35am
Her phone started ringing. She once again started apologizing. "I'm sorry I have to take this!" The café was slightly busy now, so she had to walk outside to receive her call. I settled back in my seat, letting my guard down. I could be myself again for a brief moment till she came back. I looked around at the people sitting at the other tables. There was a person with a Macbook, with enormous headphones wrapped around his head. This embodiment of a modern-day productive and dynamic workforce in itself is a nod of approval of the café's identity. If you run a café and a person with a Macbook doesn't exist at your café at all times, I hate to break it to you, but you're not a café at all. An Eatery that also 'serves' coffee at best. To my left was a group of middle-aged women who were planning their next exotic trip. On the table behind me were students discussing which Foreign university they wanted to finish their masters from. I also wished last night that I'd rather be sleeping in. We were all unfamiliar with each other but with an ephemeral sense of bonding that they'd rather be arriving somewhere but here.
I noticed my date talking on the phone through the large windows of the café. She was darting back and forth and moving her hands a lot as if she was explaining something to her caller. I observed the people walking past her; the world around me seemed to move faster than I could perceive. The urgency in their movement suggested that everyone had somewhere to be, like charged particles constantly in motion, convinced that they belonged somewhere. My line of sight was cut off by a staff member wearing a green apron approaching me with a tray. It soon occurred to me that this was our order. She politely bowed and placed the glass of iced coffee on the table as it clinked against the wooden table. Next to it, she rested the dish with the croissant, It looked fresh off the oven, and its golden layers glistened in the coral lighting of the café. I couldn't resist the sight, so I immediately dug into the croissant.
I looked up with a mouthful of food, and there she was, my date, looking dismayed, standing with her hands on her hips, "You started without me?"
"I'm sorry, this just looked too good." I replied, giving her an innocent smile.
She giggled, placed her phone on the table, and took her seat. I noticed her phone was the same model and color as mine.
"Hey! I have the same phone". I quickly reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and raised it over the table to confirm the fact. She was still engrossed in the croissant. She looked up at me, brushing off the crumbs from the corner of her lips, and replied, "Yeah, so?" I shrugged, "Good choice, I guess?" She dropped her shoulders and laughed. Seeing her laugh made me feel really good.
"Why did you decide to ask me out all of a sudden?" I asked, still needing to understand the reason behind her unexpected behavior. My question seemed to snap her out of her food trance; she looked at me instantly and carefully tucked the hair covering her face away. "So I didn't want to end up talking for days on a stupid app, then spending all that time to finally meet someone and then realize that it's a waste of time, you know. I wanted to check the vibe right away."
"Well, that makes sense, So..."
She cut me off mid-sentence, " This Vietnamese coffee is so good, very close to what I had in Vietnam."
I immediately got drawn into what she was saying," You've been to Vietnam. I've been meaning to visit for a long time. How was it?"
Her lips left the straw with a soft parting. Her lipstick had tinted the brim of the straw into a rosy pink. She formed an 'O' made with her thumb and index finger while the rest curled inward to communicate it was nice. She swiftly placed the glass down to reply,
"It was fabulous. I exhausted all of my itinerary. The food was amazing, the sights were amazing, the people were amazing. I'd go again in an instant."
"Was that an invitation?" I inquired, mirroring her infectious charm.
"It depends" She shrugged and gave me that mischievous look of hers again.
All I could do was grin at her playful ambiguity.
"Do you travel a lot?" She asked me with genuine curiosity.
"I recently warmed up to the idea of Travelling, I haven't traveled a lot, but I'm starting to like it a bit more. I went to Qatar."
"Qatar? Lol, what's that?" She had a noticeable smirk.
"It's a country in the Middle East. They hosted the FIFA World Cup not too long ago. It was a childhood dre...."
She cut me off again, "I hate the Middle East."
"Well, okay, I went to watch the FIFA World Cup. It was a childhood dream for me to be able to witness it live". Her interruptions were starting to jar me a bit.
"Oh really, when was this?" She brushed her hair away, picked up her glass of coffee, and set her lips on the straw.
Her question really excited me, "It was quite recent, actually. Did you miss the news?"
"I did read something..."
Her words trailed off as I let my excitement get the better of me.
"I'm sure you heard about Messi winning the WorldCup. It was all plastered all over the news! It was incredible" I leaned in with excitement.
"Why would I know about Messi winning the Worldcup? He's not relevant to me." She met my excitement with a dismissive chill.
"Well, it was all over the news, so I assumed you'd know. Have you heard of Messi before?" I tried to keep my tone steady to curb the simmering tension.
"I have." She replied bluntly.
I waited to hear more, but her response kept hanging in the air.
"Okay, then, isn't it logical to assume..."
"Do you know about Jeremy Corbell?" She asked, her finger pointing at me. Her hand gestures started to feel intense.
"I haven't," I replied.
"Great, so I know something you don't." She prompted.
She folded her hands and leaned back on her chair briefly. Then she lunged forward and started glugging down on her drink.
There was an abrupt silence all of a sudden. I shifted in my seat as the weight of the silence made me restless. My date was busy taking hearty sips of her drink. For the first time in this entire interaction, I was able to notice the Jazz music playing in the café. The smooth notes of the piano and the trumpets infused themselves with the silence creating an eerie vibe.
I attempted to break it, "I was just pointing out that since you knew about Messi, then it might be a safe assumption that you'd also know that he won the World Cup. The same sources that informed you of his presence could have mentioned this milestone, perhaps?"
Her response was to continue sipping on her drink.
"Certain characters are so exceptional that they transcend past the domain they excel and become cultural icons - like Einstein, for instance, not only theorists & scientists know of him."
She finally kept her drink down and looked up at me, Her expression like stone, unmoved by my conscious efforts to steer this conversation away from the tension.
"I take offense in the fact that you think people should know what you know." Her words cut right through me.
I tried to douse the fire by clarifying, "I don't have any such reservations. I thought I made a rational assumption considering your familiarity with Messi."
She furrowed her eyebrows which really unsettled me, "You assumed that I should know something, and I'm not okay with these assumptions." Her voice almost verged on a yell.
Attempting to make sense of it all, I even started pacing through my words, "Isn't that how things work? We don't have a lot of information available at any given point of time; you have to make assumptions to be able to move forward, be it a decision or a conversation."
"What?" Her face had a look of incredulity with her narrowed eyes and tensed eyebrows.
I brought my fist down on the table with a nervous thud.
"Look, there were so many assumptions that we both made to be able to get here. I assumed that you knew where CP is. You assumed I knew the Café we were going to meet at? God, I assumed I'd be alive today. If I was worried that all of this would stop tomorrow, do you think I'd even show up? We all live in a realm of assumptions because we lack absolute knowledge. I know I'm going to die one day, but I'm choosing to assume it's not tomorrow."
I could see her face shifting through a multitude of emotions from confused to surprised and back to detached.
"You're not making any sense. You're just talking about general knowledge." She retorted.
Her comment really made me nervous, so I rushed to agree with her trying to wrap up the topic for good, "Exactly, so I assumed it was general knowledge, but you didn't know."
"You can't make sweeping assumptions about people; it's very reductive." She had a harsher tone towards me at this point.
Her tone really intimidated me, and I wanted to just speak my mind at this point, "I know we like to differentiate ourselves but...."
She interrupted me again by talking over me loudly, "There are better ways to get to know a person."
At this point, I really wished that stud under her lip was a button and I could press it to make her stop interrupting me like this.
"Hear me out, no matter how well defined your identity is...."
She charged me again, "You're so full of yourself."
Her sharp tone really got on my nerves. I still tried to explain what I wanted to say, so I proceeded anyways, "Can I Just....?"
"Can you stop interrupting me?" She yelled this time.
This was the last straw for me, and I lost my composure, "What? You've been interrupting me ever since we started talking. I just wanted to point out that we're pretty much the same people, man! You have the same phone as me. You're consuming the same coffee I am. I want to go to Vietnam. You want to go to Vietnam. We might be different at extremes, but the central tendency of our behavior is not. Why is making an assumption harmful? It can be a wrong one. I can always update it? "
I didn't realize how loud I was speaking till she poked her finger into her ear to suppress the sound of my voice.
This made me stop abruptly. The smooth piano notes filled up the ambiance of the café again; I noticed I had everyone's attention and settled back in my seat in defeat.
She saw my reaction, and there was a sense of calm on her face; for the first time since she came back, she looked less intimidating. She purposefully kept her voice low, now realizing that we had just created a scene, "There are better ways to get to know a person. It's like you're picking on my brain. Don't try to figure me out. All this nonsense about central tendencies and patterns, why are you psychoanalyzing me, you idiot? Ask me things, and I will tell you. This was supposed to be a date, not a fucking interrogation."
She made a lot of sense. The Café had now turned into an impromptu courtroom; Prosecution had successfully called out my social handicaps in a filled courtroom. The other patrons in the cafe were the Jury, and the Wise man with the Macbook was the Judge. In the case of the girl with an on/off button Vs the boy who can't make conversation, I pronounce the boy the odd one out.
She could've just got up and left right there, but she allowed me a chance to have a closing argument.
"I've only observed people from a distance and never tried to engage them, so I defaulted to that. I've been hiding in plain sight from the society where I can make minimal interaction that's enough to keep me in the spotlight, but most of my interactions are indirect. Thank you for pointing this out; perhaps we can start over?"
She smiled at me again, and oh, was that a welcome sight, "No, we can't." She got up from her seat, "But it was nice meeting you. Take care!" She wore her little sling purse on her shoulder, walked out the door, and soon merged into the current of people walking past the café.
6:00pm
I was home looking out of my window again. I had a steaming cup of chai cradled in my hands. I took a soft sip and stared down at the traffic below. The traffic flowed like a river, cars coming to a halt and then moving again, moving in synchronized harmony, adjusting, accommodating, and navigating at the same time. The pedestrians, each with their own purpose, walked briskly along the sidewalk. I was filled with a sense of calm as the reason behind the soothing effect of this sight became clear – it was the perpetual motion of people finding their way and eventually returning home. I recognized that I belonged in this window, my comfort zone, and my vantage point where I got to participate in society by observing.
I began to take another sip of my chai when the streets of Delhi were finally blessed with their first rains; as the streets were being showered, I realized that this downpour marked the first of many conversations for me participating in the society as well.

I have cerebral palsy (CP) which caused me to develop severe scoliosis (both types). The scoliosis causes my ribcage to squeeze and deform my lungs.
The damage of my lungs makes it hard to expell carbon dioxide. During the day I have few issues but while I sleep I have to use a noninvasive ventilator or I could die because of the build up of carbon dioxide and decrease of oxygen levels.
Eventually some kind of congestion will probably kill me because my lungs are so weak.
There is one treatment but it's a long shot and again my pulmonologist (sp?) has really been pushing it.
The treatment involves me getting surgery to fix my scoliosis and once I recovered to see if my lungs will expand on their own (long shot because the damage is severe) and if not get on the lung transplant list.
I'm 55 almost 56 and because of my CP any major orthopedic surgery will take away the little mobility I have and will probably make me wheelchair bound for the rest of my life. Even if rehab worked and I got my pre surgery mobility back a lung transplant will cause my CP to make mobility hard again.
Thats if I could even get new lungs!
So my choice is either get 2 invasive surgeries and spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair or take a chance of a shorten life.
My doctor tried to get me to reconsider. If I was younger like my early 20s I might have considered but I'm almost 56. I don't see the point.
Every time I see him he keeps pressuring me. I explained to him I can deal with using my noninvasive ventilator for the rest of my life over a very painful long shot.
Sorry for the rant.

DAY: MAY 20 2024
5-20-2024

Why nightmares and ‘daymares’ could be early warning signs of autoimmune disease

An increase in nightmares and hallucinations—or ‘daymares’—could herald the onset of autoimmune diseases such as lupus, say an international team led by researchers at the University of Cambridge and King’s College London. The researchers argue that there must be greater recognition that these types of mental health and neurological symptoms can act as an early warning sign that an individual is approaching a “flare,” where their disease worsens for a period.
5-20-2024 Yoga and meditation-induced altered states of consciousness are common in the general population, study says
Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, breathwork, and other practices are gaining in popularity due to their potential to improve health and well-being. The effects of these practices are mostly positive and occasionally transformational, yet they are known to sometimes be associated with challenging altered states of consciousness. New research by a team including investigators from Massachusetts General Hospital reveals that altered states of consciousness associated with meditation practice are far more common than expected. Although many people reported positive outcomes, that were sometimes even considered transformational, from these experiences, for a substantial
5-20-2024 Examining the benefits of out-of-network care for pediatric moyamoya
Total in-episode expenses and resource use before the index surgery (preop) and including/after the surgery (postop). The comparisons are separated for analysis into (A) single institution cohorts (1 and 2) and (B) multi?institution cohorts (3 and 4). Moyamoya disease is a rare condition that affects the blood vessels in the brain, especially in children. Narrowing and blockage of vessels significantly increases the risk of stroke and requires surgical revascularization for treatment. Although research shows that outcomes of revascularization are better
5-20-2024 Study explores links between social media use, mental health and sleep quality
The more time you spend on social media, the greater the likelihood of having unpleasant social-media related dreams that cause distress, sleep disruption and impact our peace of mind. Flinders University’s Reza Shabahang says that the vast and rapid adoption of social media has the potential to influence various aspects of life, including the realm of dreaming. “As social media becomes increasingly intertwined with our lives, its impact extends beyond waking hours, and may influence our dreams,”
5-20-2024 How are asthma and heart health linked?
Although the heart and lungs are neighbors in your chest, people may think of them as separate entities with unrelated problems. But a growing body of evidence suggests that asthma—one of the most common lung disorders—is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Asthma is a serious chronic disease in which airways are inflamed, often in response to specific triggers. It affects about 25 million people in the U.S., including nearly 5 million children, causing millions of annual visits to doctors’ offices and emergency rooms. “We call these major changes
5-20-2024 STUDY EXPLORES PATIENT TRUST IN PHYSICIANS
Trust in one’s physician drives positive health practices. In a scoping review, SUNY Poly Professor of Sociology Dr. Linda R. Weber discovered new developments in the measurement of trust, identified those measures of trust that have known reliability and validity, and compared those instruments’ conceptualizations, dimensions, and indicators. The paper is published in the journal PLOS ONE. Weber explains that 10 dimensions emerged from the study: fidelity, technical competence, communicative competence, interpersonal competence (i.e., caring), honesty, confidentiality, global, behavioral, fairness, and system trust/accountability. In addition, these findings provide the foundation
5-20-2024 TIMESAVING TIPS FOR COOKING HEALTHY MEALS
Living a busy, fast-paced life can make it hard to find the motivation to cook a healthy meal at home. However, learning some shortcuts in the kitchen can keep your healthy eating goals on track and help you avoid grazing on unhealthy snacks, grabbing the first thing you see in the fridge or going out for fast food. Why cook at home? Research shows that maintaining a healthy weight is challenging when you eat out too frequently. Restaurant portions often are super-sized
5-20-2024 UNDERSTANDING PERIMENOPAUSE VS. MENOPAUSE
Menopause marks a significant transition for women, yet understanding its precursor, perimenopause, and its symptoms can be complex. Dr. Stephanie Faubion, director of Mayo Clinic’s Center for Women’s Health and medical director of The Menopause Society, says experiencing perimenopause and menopause can be confusing for some. She says it is not only patients who may find it confusing, but medical providers as well, due to lack of training in menopause management. “Menopause is defined by no menstrual cycle for a year,” says Dr. Faubion.
5-20-2024 LOW-DOSE IRON SUPPLEMENTATION HAS NO BENEFIT FOR BREASTFED INFANTS, SHOWS STUDY
The American Pediatric Association recommends iron supplements to all healthy infants who breastfeed longer than four months, while its European counterpart, Society of Gastroenterology, Hepataology and Nutrition, does not recommend it. These deviating guidelines stimulated researchers to design a new study. Breastfeeding is strongly recommended, and the proportion of children are breastfed during the first half of life is high. The researchers wanted to determine whether breastfeeding babies could benefit from extra iron.
5-20-2024 ALLERGY MEDICATIONS COME WITH HAZARDS: BE AWARE
People with seasonal allergies often turn to over-the-counter and prescription medicines to relieve symptoms like coughing, sneezing, runny nose, congestion and itchy eyes, nose or throat. But they often aren’t aware that these meds—including antihistamines—have as much risk for potential side effects, drug interactions and overdose as other drugs. “All medicines have side effects associated with them even when they are taken appropriately and according to dosing directions on the label,”
5-20-2024 I CAN’T AFFORD OLIVE OIL—WHAT ELSE CAN I USE?
If you buy your olive oil in bulk, you’ve likely been in for a shock in recent weeks. Major supermarkets have been selling olive oil for up to A$65 for a four-liter tin, and up to $26 for a 750 milliliter bottle. We’ve been hearing about the health benefits of olive oil for years. And many of us are adding it to salads, or baking and frying with it. But during a cost-of-living crisis, these high prices can put olive oil out of reach. Let’s take a look at why
5-20-2024 Researchers uncover biological trigger of early puberty
Heather Brenhouse, associate professor of psychology, says disrupting the caretaker relationship can really traumatize a child or a developing rodent. Credit: Ruby Wallau/Northeastern University New research conducted by the Brenhouse Lab reveals how early life adversity triggers early puberty and late-life anxiety, paving the way for potential interventions. The onset of puberty has been creeping downward for decades. In the United States, the average age of girls reaching puberty ranges from 8.8 to 10.3 years old. The early start of puberty, which is associated with many health risks, can be
5-20-2024 Bioluminescence and 3D-printed implants shed light on brain–spinal interactions
Brain-spinal cord duet’s neurodynamic symphony is now accessible to scientists via novel multi-organ implants. Credit: Dmitrijs Celinskis A sensory process such as pain is no ordinary phenomenon—it’s a symphony of neural and vascular interactions orchestrated by the brain and spinal cord. Attempting to dissect this symphony by focusing on a single region is like trying to understand a complex melody by listening to just one instrument. It’s incomplete, potentially misleading, and may result in erroneous conclusions. Enter the Carney Institute’s team of visionaries. Their mission? To develop tools that allow
5-20-2024 New thesis explores cancer treatment that can prevent relapse
. What is the main focus of your thesis? Relapse following initial treatment efficacy remains a major clinical challenge for many cancers. The focus of my thesis has been to explore the therapeutic impact of immune cells in patients with blood cancer (leukemia), by first investigating which cells
5-20-2024 New study reveals health and social benefits of car-free living
Participating in a three-week car-free challenge has enhanced the health and well-being of Oxford residents, according to research conducted by The University of Bath’s Centre for Climate Change and Social Transformations (CAST), in partnership with climate charity Possible and Low Carbon Oxford North (LCON), conducted this research project. After ditching their cars for three weeks, 10 out of the 12 drivers across Oxford who participated said they plan to continue with reduced car use beyond the project. The findings of this research project show that: Day-to-day transport emissions were slashed
5-20-2024 Research shows linked biological pathways driving skin inflammation
A certain biological pathway—a set of linked reactions in the body—drives the inflammation seen in the skin disease psoriasis, a new study finds. The work could lead to improved therapies for all inflammatory skin diseases, including atopic and allergic dermatitis and a type of boil called hidradenitis suppurativa, say the study authors. The findings are published in the journal Immunity. Inflammation is the body’s natural response to irritation and infection, but when out of control, it can lead to the reddish, flaky, itchy lesions that
5-20-2024 Prescription co-payments linked to more hospital admissions in New Zealand, study finds
A new study from researchers cautions that bringing back the $5 co-payment for prescription medicines could see a jump in hospital admissions. The study analyzed health data for 71,502 people and found those who didn’t pick up a prescription because they couldn’t afford the $5 fee had a 34% higher rate of being admitted to hospital.
5-20-2024 How a simulation is informing COVID-19 vaccine policy after our ‘return to normal’
As the saying goes “There is no such thing as normal” and this has been especially true after the pandemic. Before the emergence of the omicron COVID-19 variant, countries like the U.K. had high vaccination coverage along with widespread exposure to COVID-19 in the population. This combination of vaccine and infection-derived immunity is termed hybrid immunity and is different to vaccine immunity or infection immunity alone. In contrast, other countries, including Australia, New Zealand and those in the Western Pacific, had a very different pandemic experience.
5-20-2024 Researchers find intriguing connections between Alzheimer’s disease and other common conditions
A study has found that while some medical conditions appear to increase our likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease, others appear to decrease the odds. The study, led by Dr. Yijun (Nicholas) Pan and Dr. Liang Jin, analyzed data from 2,443 older Australians living in Melbourne or Perth who are part of the Australian Imaging, Biomarker and Lifestyle (AIBL) study, an internationally recognized cohort for dementia research. “We found anxiety and other neurological disorders are associated with increased likelihood of Alzheimer’s disease,” Dr. Pan said.
5-20-2024 Prepping autistic or sound-sensitive kids for cicada noise
As Chicagoans await the emergence of the cicadas, parents of children on the autism spectrum and/or who have sensitivities to sound can take a few steps to prepare for what is expected to be a loud summer. “Some children on the spectrum can struggle with loud or unexpected noises, such as toilets that automatically flush, fireworks around the Fourth of July or the emergence of a large number of cicadas,”
5-20-2024 Study highlights importance of screening for rare inherited iron metabolism defects
Over 40% of cases curated based on stringent clinical and laboratory criteria from the Indian subcontinent have an inherited iron metabolism defect on comprehensive genomic evaluation, report investigators in The Journal of Molecular Diagnostics. Although iron deficiency anemia is the most prevalent form of anemia globally,
5-20-2024 Study finds tyrosine kinase Csk promotes germinal center B cell survival and affinity maturation
The authors found that Csk (a tyrosine kinase that attenuates B cell receptor signaling) is required for germinal center maintenance and efficient antibody maturation. The immune system strikes a fine balance by identifying and neutralizing disease-causing agents while carefully avoiding destruction of healthy tissues and cells. Now, researchers from Japan have shed new light on one of the processes that helps train immune cells to act only against genuine threats.
5-20-2024 Significant gaps between science of obesity and the care patients receive, say experts
As research continues to produce evidence about the underlying causes of obesity and optimal strategies to treat and manage obesity have evolved, there are disparities in application of the latest scientific advances in the clinical care that people with obesity receive. Widespread adoption of current findings, consistency of care and expertise in obesity care varies by health care professional and institution.
5-20-2024 Improving online depression treatment
Symptom course of depression for individuals who dropped out of treatment and those who completed treatment. In the dropout group, there is an initial decrease in symptoms while the patients were still in treatment, which tapers off as they drop out. For completers, there is close to a linear change over time. This suggests there is a relation between the more that an individual continues to participate in ICBT and their depressive symptom improvement.
5-20-2024 Women face worse chronic kidney disease management in primary care
Women receive worse primary care-based chronic kidney disease (CKD) management than men, according to a research letter adult patients with CKD receiving primary care at 15 practices using electronic health record data to examine sex disparities in guideline-based CKD management
5-20-2024 Bisoprolol does not reduce exacerbations in at-risk COPD patients
For patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), bisoprolol does not reduce the number of self-reported exacerbations treated with oral corticosteroids, antibiotics, or both, according to a study
5-20-2024 Anticancer potential of CLK kinase inhibitors 1C8 and GPS167 via EMT and antiviral immune response
The diheteroarylamide-based compound 1C8 and the aminothiazole carboxamide-related compound GPS167 inhibit the CLK kinases, and affect the proliferation of a broad range of cancer cell lines. A chemogenomic screen previously performed with GPS167 revealed that the depletion of components associated with mitotic spindle assembly altered
5-20-2024 Study sheds light on bacteria associated with pre-term birth
Researchers from North Carolina State University have found that multiple species of Gardnerella, bacteria sometimes associated with bacterial vaginosis (BV) and pre-term birth, can coexist in the same vaginal microbiome. The findings, published in mSystems, add to the emerging picture of Gardnerella’s effects on human health. Gardnerella is a group of anaerobic bacteria that are commonly found in the vaginal microbiome. Higher levels of the bacteria are a signature of BV and associated with higher risk of pre-term birth, but it is also found in women who have no sign
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations

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Hey, so you ever get a birthday present that's so not your style, but you really can't return it because it'd be really awkward? Normally it's like, I dunno. Shoes, or shirts or something like that, right?
For me it was four fire-breathing horses.
Okay, so I should clarify. My dad didn't really give me four fire-breathing ponies to keep. It was more of a test for him to treat me like his son again.
See, I just recently got out of a Styx oath that would have led me to eternal damnation if I didn't fulfill it. It's a long story, but to keep it short: I swore an oath on the Styx to be a brave hero by my eighteenth birthday when I really should have just pinkie promised. But yeah. My dad, God of War and dad of the year took it well. …In that he pretty much said that I was a waste of space, disowned me and he'd personally hand me over to the Styx for eternal damnation.
Nice guy. Really should get into motivational speeches.
The night before, after riding the high of not having the threat of being sent to Super Hell I had a pretty bad dream. I mean, it wasn’t the normal David nightmare. It wasn't me killing endless hordes of monsters while my dad laughed at how pathetic I was.
Well, half of that. It was just my dad. To be honest, rather I’d take the monsters.
He was laughing at me, with that smug face of his, in that all-leather biker outfit with the shades that made him look even more like an asshole, as if that's hard to believe.
Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to cuss. Anyways yeah. Me and my dad. Not the best relationship, even by demigod standards.
He gave me a toothy grin, like a shark’s as he circled around me. I instinctively stood up straight, at attention. As much as I hate my dad, ticking off a god is a pretty dumb thing to do. Plus, I was pretty dumbfounded to see him here in my dream of all things.
“Well, color me surprised. To be honest, boy, I thought I'd end up taking care of this myself. So, congratulations on that front. But, sorry to burst your bubble, it might be good enough for ol’ Styxy but…it’s not good enough for me. But, you know, I'm a generous guy! Prove me you're a warrior. Do that, and I'll welcome you back in the family with open arms. I even got the perfect way for you to prove yourself.”
Without warning, he tossed me a set of keys with a miniature boar-headed keychain and a really big switchblade on the end of it. I fumbled with it before slipping it into my pocket.
“An oldie but a goodie. Used to let my sons prove themselves to me all the time with this one. Now, I'm sure once you see what I got planned you'll know the rules, considering you're a fuckin’ nerd. But in case you forget…”
He lowered his shades, revealing balls of fire as he glared right at me.
“Sundown. My temple. Don't be late or I'll toss you in the Styx myself. Well! Have fun, yeah? I'm looking forward to watching you fail this one, like your last quest. Now, get up. Clock’s ticking after all…”
“Gaah!”
I snapped my eyes open, falling out of my bed and onto the hard floor under me. As soon as I hit the floor, I could hear one of my many siblings start to stir from their sleep. Immediately, my sister Tiffany started to sigh as she shot up from her bed. I could see her pastel pink sleep mask perched on her head as she glared into the darkness of the early morning. She groaned in frustration, her words cutting through the quiet of the dawn.
"What the hell are you idiots doing?"
To be fair, I could see why she’d think that. Most of my siblings were fond of pranking each other every now and then. The chaos of the Ares cabin was unmatched from most cabins, except maybe Hermes. But, when you cut off her beauty sleep, the threat of an angry Tiff was usually was enough to make nighttime a truce. Usually.
My sister rubbed her eyes and looked down at me. I sheepishly gave a smile as I rubbed my head, still sore from when it hit the floor.
"Seriously, David?"
Tiffany got out of bed and silently made her way to me. She wordlessly held out a hand and I grasped at it as she pulled me up.
"Thanks Tiff. I had this dream, where Dad called me a nerd and was talking to me about testing me now that my Styx Oath is..."
I felt something hard and metallic poke against my leg, from my sweats pocket. I pulled out the unfamiliar object and to my surprise, there were the same keys from my dream. My eyes widened as I realized that my dream was a little bit more than usual demigod stuff.
"Oh. That...wasn't a dream."
She raised an eyebrow as she looked at the keys that sat in my hand. I played with the accessories, absentmindedly feeling the boar head and the switchblade knife. She leaned in, peering at the keys as the dawn started to rise.
"What the hell are those for?"
She looked to the keys, then back at my face, and then the keys again. She looked at me as if I just said that Kronos was about to come back and throw an ice cream party courtesy of the Titans.
"You're telling me Dad gave those to you or something? You're joking. Have to be."
I shook my head, but I could see why she thought so. I was pretty sure I was near the bottom, if not at the bottom of his list of favorite kids. If I was being honest, I was pretty sure he wanted me dead more than a few times.
"Tiff, you know that I'm not exactly Dad's favorite by a long shot. Why would I say something like that and risk him getting even mad more mad at me because of my lying? Dad disowned me, remember? He mentioned something along the line in my dream that if I pass his test I'd be treated as one of his sons again but he didn't mention what it..."
The gears started turning as I looked at the keys in my hands.
”A test…keys…sundown…oh no. Oh, no.”
I immediately pocketed up my keys and started putting on my shoes. No time for pants, sweats would do just fine, I just had to make sure to take my wallet with me, considering I was going to New York now. I had to be quick or this test was over before it even started.
"No. I...I think I know what it is. But if I'm right, then shoot I gotta get going then! Before our brothers take it."
In hindsight, I probably should have told Tiff a bit about my thoughts. But, the more I delayed the more issues that could have cropped up. I just had to make sure it was safe.
"Take what? Where the hell are you going?!"
I burst out of the cabin, staring at what was in front of our cabin. I felt a bit of nervousness bubble up as my thoughts were proven true. Tiffany was close behind me as she walked outside our cabin. I looked at her face and caught an expression of wonder as whatever she was going to ask me was forgotten. Parked in front of the cabin was a red and gold Harley. The seat was white leather and gave a sorta…humany vibe to it that I did not wanna think about. Only one thing came to mind, something I knew instinctively from the moment I saw it. Dad's War Chariot.
Or as the god of war would call it, his chariot.
"I...I think dad wants me to take his ride for a spin."
I ran my hand over the cold metal, and I realized what Dad meant about the “oldie but a goodie.” A while back, before the Second Titan war ended, and all of the children of the gods had to be claimed, there was a ritual all sons of Ares went through. It was something all my brothers did at fifteen. Drive around his Chariot and return it before sundown. It wasn't easy, my Godly siblings, Phobos and Deimos both loved to mess with whoever was in charge of the chariot at the time. And you had to deal with monsters too, but overall when it came to demigod stuff it wasn’t the most dangerous around. I dunno if that says a lot about how dangerous this life can get though.
But, shortly after the then-counselor Clarisse La Rue became the first girl to do it, Dad pulled the plug. I dunno if it was good ol’ sexism, someone totaling it, or dad not wanting to let all of his kids drive his ride, either way it wasn't super common nowadays. It wasn't like he stopped, but it was something given, not a right. Dad letting me do this was him at least giving me a chance to prove myself to be one of his kids, which was more than I expected to be honest.
I took a breath as I looked at Dad’s ride, feeling a pit of unease in my stomach as I started to climb in. If it wouldn't end up with me being tormented for the rest of my short life, I'd tell him no and go back to sleep. But, telling a god no, especially my dad is a neat way to be turned into a rodent. Or a fine red paste. Or a rodent that would be turned into said paste.
Tiffany's brows furrowed as she processed my words, a layer of disbelief on her face as she chewed over it.
You? He wants you to drive it? I...that...what the hell?"
I fought off a wince as she looked at me, then the ride, then back at me again. I could tell she was a bit annoyed. I mean, yeah from her perspective I was singled out by dad to do something she probably wanted to do for a while. I felt a pit of guilt in my stomach, it wasn't fair, really. But at the same time I had to do this.
"I mean, seriously? He must be out-"
She cut herself off. Calling my dad crazy was another way to get turned into a rat that would then be turned into a fine paste. Actually a lot of things carried the threat, my dad is kinda a jerk. I sighed, figuring I might as well tell her about why Dad was doing this. I didn't wanna hide it, but it's not like I like to talk about the fact that I've been disowned for two years. She knew, most of us did. But it's not something I like bringing up, because yeah. It sucks.
"I read a bit about previous Ares campers. He used to do this more often, at first only his sons did, but later his daughters could. I dunno why he stopped but, this isn't really like he's doing it because he's proud of me. I'm sorta disowned, remember? He said if I can drive the chariot, he'll take me back as one of you guys again. It's...more of a test to earn myself back into his good graces, I think.”
Tiffany listened to my explanation, not saying anything for a bit She looked a bit bothered about the fact that I was chosen to drive the Chariot, which again, not surprising.
"Ugh, I guess that makes sense."
I could hear the frustration in her voice as she crossed her arms. I winced again, preparing for her to resent or hate me. But to my surprise, I heard her add more in a softer voice.
"Well, don't get yourself killed trying to pass this stupid test, I don't want to have to explain to everyone why you're not coming back."
Her icy tone defrosted as she looked back at me with a bit of concern in her eyes. She seemed less annoyed and more worried about me, which was sweet. Not that I'd let her hear that. I hoped that maybe, dad would let her give it for a spin later down the road. If anyone deserved it, it would be her. I gave a nervous laugh as I took the keys out of my pocket.
"Of course, I passed my Styx Oath, didn't I? It'd be really dumb of me to die right after barely avoiding that, right? Oh, yeah. If Ellie asks for me, tell her about dad's little test he has for me. Hopefully it won't be too long but you know how it is with godly stuff. I should be back in time for us to hang out for the rest of my birthday once I do this for dad. I'll bring back something cool!”
I felt my trepidation fade away as I prepared to drive. Lots of my siblings dreamed of piloting the chariot. It wouldn't be right to reject the opportunity when it was given to me. And, who knows? Getting back in Dad's good graces (or as much as one can get in them) might help me out. At least I would have one less target on my back. As I sat down in the white leather seat, I put the keys in the ignition and instantly it began to morph.
OOC:Read this while listening to whats coming up
The front split apart into one steel horse that slowly split into two, and then four cream-colored horses that looked around with a cruel intelligence. The seat dipped, and warped before it became a horse-drawn chariot I was now standing in. The chariot was gold and blood red, adorned with the lovely images of people dying gruesome deaths, because Dad's taste in decor is somewhere between military surplus and serial killer, apparently.
“Okay…so, I need to get to Dad's temple before sundown. I don't know New York highways though, so how can I…oh hey! A gps!”
My fingers brushed against a touch screen set up on the chariot and punched The Intrepid into the coordinates. I gave one last wave to my sister before I lashed the horses and they immediately took off. I led them out of camp easily enough, but as we reached the highway they sped up to an impossible speed for a chariot. Their speed was even faster than any cars on the highway, rivaling the time that Aphrodite camper drove us to the beach once. I pulled back on the reins, trying to get them to slow down. Instead, they gave a rebellious snort and went even faster.
I would like to say that I embraced my inner Ares kid and relished the challenge. But I'm not going to lie, when you end up going past 80 MPH in a chariot, you tend to think you're going to die, fun fact. I screamed for most of the way, yanking and pulling at their reins so we could bob and weave through traffic.
It's a bit of a drive from Camp Half-Blood to New York City, I know it well, it’s a pretty common place for me to go for some monster slaying. But, up until now, I've been in the passenger seat while Argus drives. The speed of the horses really made the time go by faster. As we entered the city, the horses started to slow down and I felt a ray of hope as I started to steer them through the city. I gave a triumphant laugh as I looked down at my ETA. It was surprisingly quick, considering how congested New York can get. And I didn't see hide or hair of either one of my godly brothers, so I felt pretty good, all things considered.
“Huh. That's weird. There's not many cars today…my luck must be turning around!”
“Traffic update: Incoming Monsters. Rerouting. Cannot reroute.”
“Huh?”
Immediately, a massive boar the size of a garbage truck burst from a nearby alley way behind me. Behind the massive pig, two armored bank cars recklessly merged into traffic. One leaned out, revealing a gray-skinned human in body armor brandishing a shotgun.
“Of course! I had to open my big mouth! Is there anything that I’m going to have to deal with?”
“You are on the fastest route!”
“Well that’s just GREAT! Now I can be on the quickest way to the underworld!”
”Rerouting to: D.O.A. Records, Los Angeles.”
“Woah, woah, woah, no! Keep me on The Intrepid! The Intrepid!”
Seeing all these enemies together though, I started to put a thought in my head. They all had something in common, now that I saw them all in front of me. A boar was sacred to Ares, Spartoi too came from a dragon sacred to him. I put the pieces together as I saw the monsters come out of the woodwork and all to me. Now things made sense. The lack of Phobos and Deimos, the sacred beings to Ares, the lack of mortals on the street.
I didn't see my siblings because Dad wanted to mess with me personally.
Even now, I don't know if he wanted to test me in a Spartan way, or if he just wanted to get rid of me without kinslaying. Either way, I couldn't back down now. Not when I was so close. I snapped on the reins and the rebellious horses continued on their path, bickering and weaving left and right as they snorted and whinnied.
I heard the wiz of something traveling through the air and quickly moved out of the way. A metal feather hit the chariot, bouncing off the hull and onto the ground. I looked up and saw a few birds. They were black and crow-like, but their feathers had a metallic sheen, like iron. Their wings flapped and I heard the sound of metal on metal as they soared above me.
“Dad called in feather-shooters too? Come on!”
I steered left and right as I evaded the metal feathers shooting at me. The newcomers behind me quickly gained as I bobbed and weaved. I had to figure a way out of this, and fast. Problem was, I was quickly outnumbered and outmatched. I wasn't the best at archery, and my sword could shoot a blast of force, courtesy of the then Forgemaster. Main issue was it took a bit to charge, and I couldn't take them on so high up.
I couldn't run. I needed to fight out of this. But even if I could fight the two Spartoi and the big pig, the problem was the birds. I didn't have a ranged option…or did I? I looked to the horses, breathing embers as they huffed and pulled the chariot further on. Ares kids couldn't talk to horses, but these were godly horses. They seemed smarter than your average horse. Maybe I could talk them into behaving, the same way I got some of my siblings to listen to the plan during Capture the Flag.
“Hey guys, are you bored? I'm sure Dad and my brothers take all the good fights, huh? You know, if you guys continue fighting each other, I might lose this and you guys will miss out on a good fight.”
At first, I thought it fell on deaf ears. But then, they stopped their jostling and started to take a more unified path as we raced along the streets. Like I thought, they enjoyed a good fight as much as their owner did.
“That's what I like to see. Look, we're pretty surrounded right now. What do you say we rampage a bit before I take you guys home?”
An evil-sounding whinny came from the horses. I couldn’t really speak horse, but I took that as an okay and pointed at the birds above us. Did I feel stupid? Kinda. But as long as it worked, I couldn’t complain.
“See them? All yours. I'll cover you guys from the ground forces, and in exchange, you guys fall in line. Alright?”
A burst of fire came from one of the horses in response and I heard a loud squawk as it engulfed one of the feather-shooters. I breathed a sigh in relief as the rest of the birds started to scatter. They veered left and right in an attempt to avoid the flaming streams that were now sporadically being fired in their direction.
“Alright! Good job, I'll leave it to you!”
I gave a smile as I turned behind to my land-based foes, quickly gaining on me. I could hear the occasional woosh of fire as the horses fought the birds. One of the armored trucks caught up to my right and one of the spartoi leaned out of the vehicle. They aimed down the sights and pointed their shotgun at me.
“Sudden traffic in your area. You will be delayed by…five minutes. You are still on the fastest route!”
“Woah, that’s not fair! Come on Dad! A gun? Really!?”
I felt a tug in my stomach. It wasn’t something I could do a lot in a row without being exhausted, but I had some sorta pull when it came to weapons. When I gave a command, they were able to fall right out of their owner’s hands.
“Alright, let’s even the playerfield shall we?”
I held out my hand and they dropped it, the gun fell onto the ground, crushed by the wheels of the car. The second caught up to my left and once again, a spartoi leaned out of their car, weapon in hand.
“Another one!? Come on! How am I going to…”
I was jerked to the side as the horses suddenly veered right. At first, I thought it was the horses misbehaving again, but then a monstrous squeal came from behind me, rushing forwards.
Crash
I heard the sound of steel groaning as the boar rushed past the truck, pushing their truck out of the way as they aggressively charged forward. It was a good thing I managed to get out of the way, or else I would have been in trouble. I could see the spartoi shaking their fist as they spun out, their car massively dented with a massive gash in the armor. Now that I had to deal with two enemies, I decided to use the boar’s momentum to my advantage. I pulled back on the reins and the boar kept barreling on, too fast to stop as I made the chariot suddenly stop and then take a sudden turn away from the temple. The boar ran straight into a brick wall, seemingly dazed but otherwise okay.
”Rerouting...”
That temporarily took care of two of my enemies. Now that I had one to worry about, and my horses were pretty steady, I could start this fight in earnest. I kept one hand on the reins as I grabbed my Miku keychain. I unclipped it, and the keychain turned into a katana, with said keychain still on the bottom. It was my sword, Anime (I want to clarify, my friend Jules named it, not me). One of the Spartoi readied a spear and lunged at me. I parried it with my blade, and stabbed at their chest. I felt my blade plunge into their body. I pulled away at it, slashing at it again to tear it apart. To my disappointment though, the monster quickly reformed.
I don't know what I expected, to be honest. They wouldn't be much of an immortal soldier if they died after the first hit. But it bought me valuable time as we pushed forward. Almost as soon as its bones knit back together, it struck at me. I guarded once again, my sword starting to glow brighter and brighter with each strike. Our blades clashed and separated again and again for, I don’t know how long to be honest. I was putting up a good fight, but I just couldn’t gain the upperhand in that fight. For starters, if it was a monster or even a demigod it’d be ten ways to Tartarus at the moment. But, no matter how I sliced or diced it, the immortal soldier kept on coming back. Also, I just wasn't used to multitasking like that, I held on as tightly as I could, but the brief times I practiced Chariot combat with my friends Jules and Cel, I was either driving or fighting. Both at the same time was hard, and I was lucky that the horses were so cooperative.
I heard the whinny of one of the horses ahead as I looked back to the front. No sign of the birds meant that there was a few extra-crispy feather-shooters along the road somewhere, which was good news. But then, I looked out in front and realized that there was a big problem. One of the trucks we left behind somehow got in front of us, blocking the road with their car. Five spartoi were standing outside of the car, swords and spears drawn as they headed the chariot off.
At this moment, I knew I was screwed. I was too fast to just stop. And, even if I did stop, I’d have to deal with all the angry skeleton men chasing me down. I just winced, bracing for impact. But then, I heard a neigh as the horses pulling my chariot started to turn into steel and combined once more. The chariot started to shift, the creak of metal folding and turning. I quickly sheathed my sword as the reins turned into chrome handlebars which I gripped like my life depended on it. The chariot continued to morph until once again it was a motorcycle with flame patterns. I veered as left as I could, narrowly avoiding hitting the side of a nearby building as I sped past the skeletal blockade. I braked, motorcycle now turning back into the chariot form as I turned back and watched as the car that was chasing me slammed straight into the other.
The now pissed spartoi stumbled out of the wreckage and started to scream undead obscenities to each other. I couldn’t speak ghost, but whatever they said seemed to be pretty rude, because both sides started to unsheath their swords and get into an all-out brawl. One of the spartoi sliced the other in two, and they didn’t reform this time as their essence slid into their black sword.
Huh. Well, that was one way to deal with them.
“Whew! Good horses.”
I turned, ready to snap the reins once again, but I stopped as I saw what was waiting for me at the other end of the road. The boar, still very much on my trail stood in front of me. It pawed at the ground in front of it, and my horses started to do the same. I stared at the boar, unsheathing Anime once again as we stared off.
“Keep straight for…500 feet.”
The thing about boars is that they can be pretty deadly. They’re brutish and aggressive, and they go down fighting. You know the crossguard that’s near the pointy end of a spear? That’s so the animal doesn’t run up the spear to take you out with it. You don’t think them being that dangerous, but there’s a reason that dad’s symbol is a boar.
I had to make this quick, and efficient or I’d end up maimed, or worse. I snapped the reins one more time, and the horses started to dash down the street. The boar squealed as it barreled to me. I could see it get closer and closer. I grit my teeth, holding my blade in my right hand as it started to shine more and more brightly. My hand held onto the grip tightly, bracing for my next action.
I’d have one shot at this.
I miss, I’m dead.
I hesitate, I’m dead.
I don’t hit the vitals, I’m dead.
Time started to slow around me as I watched the boar rush at the chariot, enraged as it reached the point where there was no stopping it now. I could see the powerful muscles push and pull, the beast using all its power in an attempt to off me for good. I felt heat coming from the front as all four horses breathed a stream of flames at the swine. The boar kept on charging forwards, through the fire as the flames engulfed it. An angry squeal erupted from the inferno as it lept up from the sea of flames, still on fire as it used its strong legs to clear the horses and go straight for me.
Breathe in
I felt a sense of calm wash over me as I pulled my sword hand back. My blade shined brilliantly, even in the May sun. I watched it fall ever closer to me, the flames still eating away at the flesh. I stared into its ever-angry eyes, burning brighter than the flames surrounding it. I don’t falter. I’ve faced monsters that have crushed my bones. I don’t feel fear. I’ve fought creatures that could have killed me in five seconds. This is it. I need it to be perfect.
Breathe out.
SHING
I swung my blade and a rush of air followed it, making an arc that flew to the boar. I don’t doubt my skills. I simply watch, confident that this will end the monster once and for all. The blast, charged from my fight flew unimpeded. The beast’s chuffs turned into surprised squeal as it sliced the boar cleanly in two, bisecting it from the snout down. I sheathed my sword and put both hands back on the reins, eyes on the road as I barely watched what came next. The flaming boar started to fade into dust, still falling through the air until only a tusk was left. I held out my arm and caught it with my right hand.
“Oh hot, hot!”
I juggled it a bit with one hand before placing it down on the chariot floor. I grinned triumphantly as I realized what happened. Dad tried to test me, to see if I was “worthy” or he genuinely tried to kill me. Either way, I beat him this time, proving to him that I was more. That he underestimated me when we first met, that I was a brave warrior all along. In the end, I proved to him that I could fulfill my Styx oath even past what was expected of me. I laughed as I sped up, I felt pretty good about my victory. I wondered how his face would look, or if I could read his expression past his dumb sunglasses.
But as I rounded the corner, a terrifying sight came to my face as my glee turned to sorrow. I watched with horror as I realized Dad’s influence on the fight kept a more dangerous foe than any before at bay. Now that the fight was over, he had no reason to keep it around, and for once, I wasn’t sure if I could get through this unscathed. I gulped as I put my hands on the reins, not ready to face the impossible challenge alone. I hoped it wouldn’t break me as I prepared what little I had to fight this foe.
”There is an unusual amount of traffic in your area today.”
“Now you tell me…”
None other, than New York traffic.
I’d like to say that I did something else. Like I defeated an army of drakons on my way, or managed to fight off crazed demigods sent by my dad…but no. It was pretty much just traffic the rest of the way there. It was long and arduous, but I managed to make my way over to The Intrepid. After that traffic,I had to say, the amount of crazy drivers was almost San Francisco bad. I’d have taken as many spartoi and boars as dad could throw at me, if it meant I wasn’t drowning in the sea of cars. I drove down Pier 86, feeling a sense of relief as I got closer and closer to the aircraft carrier turned museum. As I got within eyeshot, I realized that dad said to take it to the temple, but not where to drop it off at.
It would be really stupid to end up failing just because I wasn’t sure where to leave dad’s ride. I got off the chariot, and was eyeing the prices of a ticket.
“Adults are thirty-six, Seniors and College Students…thirty four… Oh hey! Children of Ares get in free! Now, how do I wheel dad’s chariot through the front…”
Suddenly the side gate opened, lights flashing and clanging as it automatically retracted. The person standing in the booth waved me over and I hopped back onto the chariot, driving it by cautiously. They were dressed like a security guard, shades covering their eyes as they looked down onto their phone that they were absentmindedly playing with. Eyebrow piercings peeked out from behind the shades. They were tall, looked about early twenties, and seemed like your average bored museum guard, if not for that sorta godly aura I got from them.
“Take the chariot this way, Lord Ares will be at the end of Pier 86. Can’t miss him.”
I eyed the godling suspiciously. They seemed like one of those myriad younger and minor gods I saw when I was on Olympus. Not anyone I’d know, but if they wanted to stop me, it’d be annoying to get past them. They didn’t seem to be that dangerous, at least right now. But when you were a demigod, you learned to be wary of free handouts.
“Uh…look man, I’m going to be honest. I just got through some hellish traffic to get through here. So if like, you’re leading me into a trap or if my godly brothers are going to show up to try and take this, can you just start the fight and save me the trouble? It’s been a long morning, and I just wanna get this over with.”
I stared back at my reflection through their mirrored shades. Growing up, I always thought of myself as gangly and awkward. I could see my messed up hair, tousled from the wind. I stood tall, and although I wasn’t the buffest Ares kid around, you couldn’t call me skinny anymore. I looked almost heroic as I held the reins atop the chariot. Was that how I looked now? The godling shook their head as they chuckled, putting down their phone as they looked at me in the eyes.
“Kid, even for a god like Ares who likes conflict, you don’t do something like that in a temple. You can’t just attack his kid on his own grounds. Plus, it's part of the rules of war to respect neutralized zones. Trust me, you’re home free.”
“Oh. Um, thank you.”
He nodded and went back on his phone. I snapped on the reins and the chariot trotted along, even fire-breathing horses had to follow traffic laws apparently. I was on guard, not taking the godling’s words at face value. Mortals in a daze parted around the chariot, a few snapping pictures at me. I freaked out for a split second before I heard the tourists being in awe at what I heard to be a “vintage bomber”. Dumbfounded, I stopped for a brief second. It didn’t even have wings! But, I could see the mist shimmer around me and for a brief moment, see the silhouette of the plane around the chariot. It was an old fighter, a single propellor with flaming horse art on the nose.
“P-40B Warhawk? Alright, guess we’re working with that.”
I frowned a bit, trying to think if I knew that before this, from a school project or if it was more demigod shenanigans. I was never into fighter jets, but when you’re a demigod sometimes your parent’s godly influence shoves itself into your head and it’s always confusing when it does.
I drove the “plane” to the end of the pier, where I could see my dad sitting down on a barricade, blocking off a massive plane above him. It wasn’t used for war apparently, because I had no clue what type of plane it was. Looked cool though, it was really narrow around the nose end and the wings were all near the back end. He had a big wicked-looking combat knife in his hand that he used to clean his nails. He looked up at me, disinterestedly, before going back down to the knife.
“You’re alive.”
I couldn’t tell from his tone if that was a good or bad thing. It seemed… neutral. Like he was stating the sky was blue. But, overall I’d take that as a good thing, considering our last meeting. I spoke a bit warily, not sure if he was in a good or bad mood considering my victory.
“Uh, so Father. I’m finished with what you-”
“No. You’re not.”
“I’m not!? Do I need to do anything or-”
A moment of panic snuck up into my chest. For a brief moment I was afraid he was going to pull a twelve labors on me, but then he whistled and held out his hand.
“Not until you give me the keys kid, then it’s done.”
I hopped out of the chariot, the reins in my hand turning into keys as the horses went back into their motorcycle form. I somewhat clumsily tossed it to my dad, who grabbed it. He pushed himself off his perch, first making sure his motorcycle was unharmed. Then, he turned to me, eying me up and down as he circled around where I stood. I stood still, at attention as I felt my heart racing in my chest. I felt like a deer, cornered by a wolf just waiting to strike. Yet, the first pang of anxiety soon settled down. If he wanted to take care of me, he would have done so already. Or sent something more dangerous like a Drakon at me when I was driving. I felt my heart leap up into my throat as he clapped a big hand on my shoulder. The gesture wasn’t hostile, if anything, the motion seemed friendly. But his grip was anything but. His hand, like the claws of a tiger dug into my shoulder as he grinned at me.
“I have to say, I thought you were a lost cause, but look at you kid. Took you long enough, but I guess you have enough of me in you after all. Well, a late bloomer is better than being completely useless, but man! You were one of my most pathetic kids when you took that oath. I don’t think I had a kid as wimpy as you in a long time. Well, I’m glad my little nudge helped you keep that oath up after all. It would have been a waste of a perfectly good warrior if you didn’t shape up.”
I looked at him, dumbfounded. He helped me? He didn’t do anything! I wasn’t stupid enough to point it out, but I guess he knew what I was thinking as I felt his grip tighten as he growled.
“Come on, don’t give me that look, kid. Oh, don’t look so surprised. Tip of advice: don’t dip your toes into cards. You have a horrible poker face. Your mom was the same way. But, yes. I helped. Not that kids these days would understand. Parents these days are too soft, including most of us gods. Back in Sparta, we’d leave our kids to fend for themselves. Just give them barely enough food and let them hunt or steal the rest. If they end up dying in the hunt or starved, well that’s fine. They were too weak to do anything of note anyway. You should consider yourself lucky I was generous enough to just turn my back on you.”
He chuckled low, and my blood ran cold as he shook me. I shook my head, fighting off a wave of dizziness as he threatened to take off my arm.
“Oh, but that’s in the past! You passed your agōgē period, all by yourself. Now that is true strength.”
His evil grin widened as he gave me the closest thing to an approved look he’d ever given me. I furrowed my brow as I shook my head. This credit, it wasn’t mine to take, was it? Before I could think, I spoke what was on my mind.
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t do this by myself. Everywhere I went, I had someone to help me out. If it wasn’t for the help from my friends, I don’t think I would be standing here. I didn’t-”
My dad’s good mood instantly soured as his grin warped into a snarl. His grip, although somewhat friendly now seemed dangerously tight as he frustratingly interrupted me.
“Oh for the love of! I’m complimenting you, kid. Look. I don’t care about those other twerps one way or another. Allies are fine enough in war, as long as you don’t make them do all the work. Kid, you’ve gotten strong all on your own, like a true son of mine. Don’t deny you and me the kleos you rightfully deserve ever again. Shut up and just take the honor.”
“I…uh…yes, Dad.”
I was surprised that all it accounted to was a mild scolding. My dad, too seemed to calm down after I agreed with his words, as he went back to a smile. He put his hand back into his pocket as he started to walk up to his chariot. He ran his finger across the chrome finish, taking out a cloth and cleaning off my fingerprints from the metal.
“About your joyride. Not bad, not bad at all. It took you a bit to embrace your birthright, but you ended up not even scratching my ride. Nice. Nice. Saves me the trouble of buffing it out. Now, if you could only stop complaining at everything that opposed you. You’re a man, aren’t you David? Start acting like it. If you think a bag of bones and a pig are hard, just wait until your future. The stronger a warrior gets, the stronger their foes get. Make sure you’re strong enough to stand up against them before you end up a stain on the pavement.”
I heard the engine rev as he got into the seat. He threw a bag at me that I clumsily fumbled with before I fully caught it. I opened it, and a few golden drachmas shined back at me.
“Since your agōgē finished up, consider yourself un-cut off. Even I’m not heartless enough to leave a son of mine stranded in New York. Keep the rest. Feel free to hang around my temple, and help yourself to the gift shop if you want, it’s on the house, happy birthday and all that. Just don’t go overboard.”
He turned the motorcycle, wheeling it around so he could leave the pier. He turned around, giving me a few more parting words he shouted over the roar of the engine.
“Don’t think you’re done yet, David. You got a lot more to grow. Especially now that you can receive my blessings again. What, did you think that taking a good hit was all you can do? You’ll see sooner or later. See ya kid! Don’t disappoint me.”
He revved his engine one more time and took off, leaving me behind on the pier. As I watched my dad leave, I realized that with that resolved, the last of what made my Styx Oath so suffocating was finally finished. A part of me felt that I’d always keep the consequences of it with me. Either dad would continue to disown me, or I’d be horribly injured from my jobs. But, to my surprise, everything worked out alright. I worked as hard as I could, and now everything was over, truly over. I…wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I mean, like obviously I didn’t wanna have them with me for the rest of my life. But, for all of my oath’s lifespan I had the deadline looming overhead, and my expectation was that something would happen to me as a result. I was glad to have it over with, but I never felt that I could relax until now. The feeling of not having the anxiety of my imminent demise was something I wasn’t familiar with, and to be honest I still have trouble relaxing. As he disappeared into the afternoon traffic, I realized that, so too did my previous life.
Maybe…maybe I could afford to enjoy my life now after all.
OOC: And there we have it! The final David storymode relevant to this storyline! I meant to have this yesterday but I didn't see the modmail that gave me the okay until literally an hour ago oop. Which means that yes, the Chariot and Ares both are approved from the mods.
Big thank you to Tiffany's writer, angelspoint for helping me with her parts, I had a blast working with them! Hope you enjoyed David's Victory lap!

How goes it buds. We are in the end game, there are only 3-4 chapters left in this book. Let's see how they unfold. We have two questions remaining 1: Lysa and Kyroll accepting one another a bit. 2: what happened to Shiksie?
Next chapter we will have the pair returning to Draun, then the follow on will be learning about Shiksie and what horrible things she did since our lad departed. Then we have wrap up of this book chapter.
for now lets get some fresh out of the oven Loaf.
“Henry, would you like to go for a walk?” Nelya questioned as Martinez loaded the dishwasher, having just finished what could be called their first family dinner. Overall, it went better than any of them had assumed it would have. The conversations were varied and light, and the meal itself was filling. Heck, even Kyroll had no issues throughout.
The old Aviex man is in the living room and likely about to fall into a food coma after eating four whole plates of food and downing three beers. None of them minded; while Martinez and Lysa tolerated him, only Nellya loved to spend time with him.
“Sure; that would be nice,” Martinez replied over his shoulder, seeing Nelya and Lysa stuffing the last leftovers into the fridge.
“May I come along? Lysa asked, closing the fridge before leaning onto the island, a beatific smirk on her lips.
With a gentle, motherly smile, Nellya patted Lyza’s shoulder but shook her head. "Not this time, my little Huntress. Your father wants to spend some time with you."
Any semblance of Lysa’s smile died when Nelly told her no, morphing into a childish pout. "Must I?" She groaned loudly.
Nelya hugged Lysa gently, supporting her daughter's need to spend time with her father despite all parties present being aware of her reservations. “You promised to try to work it out with your father, and because you two are leaving soon, now might be your only chance.”
Lysa sighed and tapped her nails on the counter, looking between her mother and the Martinez, trying to think of some excuse she could give to weasel her way out of a solo interaction with Kyroll.
Yeah, he apologized to her, and they agreed to make an attempt to get along, but that didn't mean she wanted to spend time alone with him. She wanted Nelya and Martinez there as mediators; that had to go better than alone daddy-daughter time.
In the past, when she wanted to have a loving father, he was never there when she wanted to have a shoulder to cry on or teach her valuable skills; Kyroll only wished to take an interest when he felt like it—which was fleeting at best.
After her agreements with others, she seems to have backed herself into a corner and can't think of a quick, witty response to get away from this—especially not with how foggy her head has been over the last few weeks. An issue that has been plaguing her all day, along with nausea and fits of moodiness.
"Fine, I shall make an earnest attempt," Lysa conceitedly said, not wanting to rebuke her promise to Martinez, especially after his reaching out for her injured him.
Despite how much she wanted to blame her father for the injuries, both Martinez and Kyroll swore it was just a freak occurrence with hungry animals, so she believed them—her ruh’ha would never lie to her.
"Oh, that's perfect, deary," Nelya chirped, grabbing Lysa into a deeper hug and squeezing her daughter tight enough that she gasped and struggled to return the gesture.
“Now, Henry, go grab your jacket," Nelya said after hugging Lysa, leaving her gasping for air.
Martinez nodded and watched Nelya pirouette and rush out of the kitchen, a skip in her step and giggling like a schoolgirl.
"What's gotten into her?" Martinez asked.
“I haven’t the slightest clue,” Lysa replied, watching her mother vanishing down the hallway toward her room, moving so fast that her pink clothes made her a cotton candy blur. “Mother is usually bubbly; perhaps mine and Father's reconciliation has her in a particularly good mood.”
Martinez shrugged. That was a believable thing, but he wondered if there was more to Motherly Aviex’s current mood. Ever since Martinez and Kyroll returned from the hospital, Nelya had been so sweet he was about to get cavities. It's not that her acting like that was out of character, but she seemed giddier than when they first arrived.
‘I’m going to go get my coat,” Martinez said, stepping toward the back doors to head to the guest house.
“I shall await you two by the door,” Lysa smiled meekly, ignoring the churning pain in her stomach.
—--
After seeing Martinez and Nelya out the door and watching Nelya tug her Ruh’ha up the driveway, hurrying him toward the woods, Lysa shuffled into the bathroom near the kitchen. Typically, she would go the extra distance to use the one in the guest house, wanting her privacy, but that was not viable right now.
Over the last week, on top of her irregular spikes of emotionalism, she also had been regularly plagued by bouts of extreme nausea. It had not reached the point of her vomiting yet, but just having the feeling one hard jerk or a nasty flavor would trigger such a reaction.
To her regret, the nervousness of being alone with her father drove her to the point where she knew she was about to throw up. The fear of how he would act, how she should treat him, and the neurotic worry of them getting into a physical altercation once again pushed her over the edge.
Lysa barely made it to the toilet as the floodgates opened. She gripped the bowl and retched. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to expel the non-existent poison. Retching turned into gaging, gaging into erupting a vile mixture of barely digested food, blood, and bile. The red chunky filled the bowl as her painful groans filled the house.
The only solace that Lysa had in this horrible experience was that the blood was the few minute's worth she drank out of Martinez just before dinner. At least it should be; as far as she knew, she was healthy and had nothing odd going on. She had just been nervous and was overwhelmed the last few weeks—right?
She continued to vomit, and the sounds of her gagging, groaning, and nearly sobbing got louder. As the pain grew, a hefty thumping came from beyond the door, approaching like a rolling tide, followed by thunderous knocking.
“Lysa! Are you alright”? Kyroll yelled through the door.
“I am Alri—” Lysa started attempting to lie, hoping to keep Kyroll away from her. But as if the universe was punishing the attempt, she threw up again, covering her shirt and hair in bile.
“No!” Lysa sobbed, turning her head back into the bowl.
Without thinking or asking, Kyroll tossed open the door and rushed over to Lysa, finding his dear daughter slumped over, clutching the toilet bowl.
"It's okay; it's okay; you'll be fine," Kyroll said, pulling her hair out of the bowl and rubbing her back.
Kyroll chose to do that simply because he did not know what else to do. He was not a medic or corpsman. He could triage minor issues—other than that, his training was to keep people safe until help arrived, he brought them to it, or the danger was dealt with. So, for now, trying to keep her from choking was all he could do.
Liza couldn't help but feel humiliated; she had never had anyone seen her sick, vomiting, or in any way this distraught; not even Martinez saw the effects of her time of the month that badly.
Why did it have to be her father of all people to come to her side when she fell ill for the first time in years?
" don't worry, just let it out," Kyroll encouraged.
Lysa did not need the encouragement. Her body was still forcibly expelling anything she had inside her. Perhaps her lungs or heart would pop into the bowl, ending her humiliation.
As Lysa continued to vomit, she made no attempts to argue about Kyrolls presence; there was no point, and he wouldn't have left even if she had. His stubbornness was something she knew all too well.
After a half hour, Lysa’s body had at long last decided her gauntlet of pain was over. She looked like a mess and felt just as awful. Dried vomit covered her shirt, face, hair, and half the ground and around the toilet.
Along with that, every muscle burned, feeling like she had just gone back to back rounds of fighting Teacher, followed by letting someone hit her with a hammer.
Glancing around and up at Kyroll’s patient, caring gaze, Lysa’s heart clenched. Seeing the horrible state of everything and that she was clutching her father, whom she had been awful to over the last few days, cumulatively put her back into a state of mania.
"Why? You, you should hate me," Lysa quaved. You're not supposed to be nice."
"I'll never hate you. I was stupid, overprotective, and pushed you away, but I'll always love you, Lysa; you’re my little huntress," Kyroll replied softly.
"But I'm awful," Lysa protested.
"No, no, you aren't," Kyroll replied, hugging her tightly, uncaring about the vomit or tears. Finally, holding his little girl again was a dream come true.
It took Liza a moment, but with her father unrelenting in his caring hold, she clutched him just as forcefully and buried her face in his collar.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up," Kyroll said softly, rubbing his hand on the small of Lysa’s back, just as he did when she was little.
Lysa nodded and stood with him, letting him clean the floor while she prepared the shower.
By the time Lysa showered off and managed to wrangle her emotions back under control, Kyroll had already set out some sweats and a shirt for her. They were her mother's, and unlike the clothes she usually wore, they were bright pink and covered in flowers. But for now, she didn't mind, nor did she think her mother would mind borrowing some clothes.
As she slipped on the simple t-shirt, Kyroll knocked on the yet again. " I put your dirty clothes in the washer. uhhh--- would you want to--- come relax?"
Lysa hesitated when answering that, not because she was angry or anything along those lines. She just had to ruminate on how Kyroll was being so lovely to her, especially after all she had done.
She had yelled about him, talked behind his back, and insulted him for years. She hit him only a few days ago, for stars sake.
Martinez and her mother seemed right about him making an effort, which is earnestly unreal. She was finally accepting that perhaps this trip was not a waste.
"Have Ruh’ha and Mother returned?" Lysa asked, hanging up her wet towel. She still did not trust her father entirely and wanted them to have.
"Not yet; Nelly texted me and said they would be a while," Kyroll explained.
That was curious. The pair must have been gone for almost an hour by now; Lysa estimated that much time had passed based on the sun coming in through the window. She wasn't precisely sure how long her vomiting and clean-up had taken.
She wondered if they had found a pleasant location to bird watch or observe some other section of the wilderness. After all, they both enjoyed nature.
"I shall be out momentarily," Lysa conceaded. " where shall you be?"
"Okay—uh, I'll be in the living room," Kyroll replied, stepping back from the door. His footsteps became quieter as he walked away, leaving Lysa to finish any clean-up she needed to.
Shortly after, Lysa found her father precisely as he said he would be. The sight of what he was doing caused her to smile and take a pleasant jaunt down memory lane—echoes of when she was no taller than key roles flashed in her mind.
Memories of days from when she had been bullied at school and he would snuggle up with her under blankets to watch a movie and ensure that all was all right in his little daughter's world.
Those were pleasant times, and it looks as though good old Dad still knows how to comfort his little girl.
He even had the same blanket, cookies, and tea laid out while digging through her mother's shelves, looking for either a movie or a book for them to relax.
After noticing her presence, Kyroll stopped looking for a movie and looked over at her. "Too much?" he questioned awkwardly, scratching his forearm.
"Not at all," Lysa assured as she walked over to the couch and let the plush surface pull her in.
"Any idea what you want to watch"? Kyroll questioned, showing her a collection of cutesy family cartoons that they used to watch.
Kyroll was barely looking directly at her, likely unsure how he was supposed to act. Still, he was doing almost everything perfectly to make Lysa feel comfortable and to try to bridge some of the gap between them.
Lysa certainly noticed all the effort.
"Can you play Rolala?" Lysa replied pulling the blanket up and wrapping it underneath her.
She remembers the adventure story fondly. But hasn't watched it in years. It was about a young Aviex hero traveling across a fictional version of Avalon, looking for some magical artifact to bring forth the sun and cast away the darkness.
If memory served correctly, the story was a modern retelling of the myth of why the Aviex home planet experienced darkness for days on end and now existed in a near-perpetual twilight.
Lysa was too unfamiliar with old Aviex myths to confirm it, but that sounded vaguely correct. Either way, the sword and sorcery story about fighting monsters and steadfast friends was heartwarming—she found it inspiring as a young lass.
"Okay, no problem," Kyroll said as he selected the movie. After putting it on, he moved to the far end of the sofa and groaned, lowering himself to the surface.
" Do you want some tea? Maybe a cookie?" Kyroll asked, leaning forward and groaning in pain, pushing the tray of snacks closer to Lysa.
"Maybe later," Lysa said, unable to look at the food without her stomach trying to throw up again.
Kyroll nodded, unwilling to push any subject with his daughter, especially when she seemed sick.
As they sat there and the movie rolled, Lysa continued to grumble, grip her stomach, and whined, still feeling like her gut would implode. Each time it happened, she noticed that Kyroll looked over at her and winced like he was feeling the same agony.
Between her spats of pain, Lysa looked at the details of what he had set up. There was only one tea cup and tray; he could not reach them if he wanted to. Had he done this only for her?
She whined, understanding how her father was putting such effort into this attempt at rekindling their relationship. She also understood how all she was doing was giving him a cold shoulder, pushing against and fighting him; ultimately, Lysa was not helping at all.
Thinking back to her promise to Martinez and Nelya, Lysa could not justify her actions. She had to attempt to meet her father halfway, and that was just what she would do.
Lysa stood, holding the blanket tight, and moved closer to Kyroll. Sitting down next to him, she threw the blanket over their laps and leaned against her father for the first time in years.
"They're much better," Liza said, shimming closer and resting comfortably against him. She took in the odd mix of sap, smoke, and cologne that oozed from her father and found it comforting.
His scent was precisely the same as when she was younger and pushed deep into her soul and pulled forth feelings of comfort and safety that existed before she grew up, and they had their fights.
Kyroll froze and remained motionless, unable to comprehend that Lysa was close to him. His mind was racked with a million possibilities for why she might be attempting this. Was it some trick? Was it a cruel joke she would use to stab his heart? Or, by the rare chance, did she actually want to attempt to forgive him?
It took until she leaned against him and spoke for him to accept reality and relax with her.
"Thank you for trying," Lysa breathed
"Thanks for letting me," Kyroll replied, draping his arm over her shoulder.
Lysa smiled and contently sighed, not needing anything else to say.
They both understood their relationship was far from perfect, and this was just the first few steps at repairing what they once had. Even though it would be many years before all was forgiven--- this was a wonderful start.
For the following few hours until they both fell asleep on the spot, both were transported back to when she was a little girl, and he was just learning how to be a civilian and father. It was a time when their family was whole, and they all knew who was there for them.
Maybe one day, years from now, they will fully recapture that feeling. Lysa, Kyroll, Nelya, and even Martinez might just be one big happy family. Both wanted it at this point.
So what did you all think of this chapter? we have more coming along, and likely will be done next week. I just was busy this week and only got the one out. I hope you all enjoyed, and are eager to see where it goes. Please don't forget to updoot, and comment. I will see you all in the comments.
Your Baker
-Pirate
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Hi, I've (20F) recently had a spinal fusion surgery 2 months ago. I've been living with my grandmother who is a nurse as I've needed help with doing some things.
I've been feeling very unwell since the surgery. I've told my grandmother and said that I'd like to see a doctor but she just gives me reasons for everything saying that I'm anxious and having panic attacks or allergies or being affected by the anaesthesia still.
Some of the things she tells me might be correct but I'd like to see a doctor because the symptoms that I've been having don't seem normal.
I've been feeling better since I stopped taking pain medication, anti inflammatory and muscle relaxers (about a month ago) but I'm still not feeling normal. I don't remember everything I was taking, but it included norflex, palexia, valium, endone, tarjan, and some others I can't remember.
I've been having nosebleeds frequently, they don't last for very long usually but they happen once or twice a day.
The skin around my nose feels very dry and peeling, it feels like that all through my nose, eyes and sinuses. When I wake up my vision's blurry because my eyes won't focus. My eyes hurt a lot. I'm more pale than usual.
I've lost weight even though I'm eating significantly more than I did before the surgery. I would eat 2 small meals usually before and weighed 44kg, now I eat 3 larger meals with snacks, I'm hungry all the time and I weigh 41kg.
I feel dizzy a lot and like my hearts beating really fast, it's gotten better since about a week or 2 after I stopped the medication. Before when I would stand up sometimes I'd feel the room spinning really fast, my vision would go weird, my heart would beat fast and hard and I could feel it in my stomach, my chest would feel tight and I felt like I couldn't breathe and I'd feel like I was about to drop.
When I would stand up for too long I'd start getting a painful tightness in my chest and when I'd breathe it hurt like it was being restricted and I'd feel short of breath, I'd have to stop whatever I was doing to lay down and it would stop after a few minutes.
I've had flu like symptoms, a wet cough feeling like im coughing something up from my lungs, runny and very itchy nose, congestion, sore ears, mouth, nose and throat, the skin around my mouth and nose is dry and peeling.
I've had some acid reflux, nausea and feeling like my throat is swollen.
I was having trouble urinating at the same time as the breathing problems, it was very slow and would take about three times as long as usual.
I'm feeling better than I was, but I'm concerned that I'm still feeling unwell even though I'm not taking any medication anymore. I'd like to see a doctor but any time I tell my nan about any of the symptoms she acts like it's nothing and tells me to take vitamins or avoid stress and relax (I don't feel stressed at all). I've said a few times about wanting to see a doctor and she says it's just anxiety and doesn't do it.
I've always had problems with dizziness and my heart rate and low blood pressure but it's felt a lot worse since I've had the surgery. I've had an ecg and halter monitor in the past and they said that I had an idiopathic arythmia but that it's common for girls my age and I shouldn't be concerned about it.
Edit: I should mention that I was having these symptoms since I got out of the hospital, but they got worse (especially the breathing, heart rate and extreme dizziness, trouble urinating) after I stopped taking the medications (I did it gradually advised by my surgeon).
The surgery was for scoliosis.

Just did 4 months in jail thanks to false allegations made by Narc mom
What a nightmare. I was living with Nmom while waiting on disability after losing my home. She is an alcoholic and a mean drunk. She wrongly thought I took the TV remote from her and came storming into my room. She lunged towards me and lost her balance, and fell backward. She hit her head on the metal track the closet door slides on and got a concussion. I never laid a hand on her.
She called 911 and lied, saying I pushed her, causing her to fall backward and hit her head. They believed her story and arrested me, charging me with assault and battery. I spent 4 weeks in jail until my husband could borrow money from friends and family to pay for a GPS tether that alerts the police if I get too close to her house.
My husband is in the last stages of congestive heart failure and has only a few months to live. I have a 12 year old son who was neglected while I was incarcerated since my husband is too sick to properly look after him.
I now have a no contact order with my mom and had to find another place to stay. Thankfully, my aunt is allowing me to stay with her but only for a few weeks.
I can't afford my next tether payment. It is $100 per week, so I will be going back to jail. My charge is a 93-day misdemeanor, so I will have to serve 60 more days in jail.
Being in jail was the lowest point of my life, and I am cutting all ties with my mother and going no contact. I would rather stay in a homeless shelter than live with her or accept financial help, which allows her to control me and always has strings attached.
I am still in disbelief that she could do something this low to me. 1. Taking away my freedom. 2. Leaving my son, her grandson without his mother and only caretaker while I was in jail. 3. Stealing my final moments I have to spend with my dying husband bc I have been and will be going back to jail.

What a nightmare. I was living with Nmom while waiting on disability after losing my home. She is an alcoholic and a mean drunk. She wrongly thought I took the TV remote from her and came storming into my room. She lunged towards me and lost her balance, and fell backward. She hit her head on the metal track the closet door slides on and got a concussion. I never laid a hand on her.
She called 911 and lied, saying I pushed her, causing her to fall backward and hit her head. They believed her story and arrested me, charging me with assault and battery. I spent 4 weeks in jail until my husband could borrow money from friends and family to pay for a GPS tether that alerts the police if I get too close to her house.
My husband is in the last stages of congestive heart failure and has only a few months to live. I have a 12 year old son who was neglected while I was incarcerated since my husband is too sick to properly look after him.
I now have a no contact order with my mom and had to find another place to stay. Thankfully, my aunt is allowing me to stay with her but only for a few weeks.
I can't afford my next tether payment. It is $100 per week, so I will be going back to jail. My charge is a 93-day misdemeanor, so I will have to serve 60 more days in jail.
Being in jail was the lowest point of my life, and I am cutting all ties with my mother and going no contact. I would rather stay in a homeless shelter than live with her or accept financial help, which allows her to control me and always has strings attached.
I am still in disbelief that she could do something this low to me. 1. Taking away my freedom. 2. Leaving my son, her grandson without his mother and only caretaker while I was in jail. 3. Stealing my final moments I have to spend with my dying husband bc I have been and will be going back to jail.
EDIT TO CORRECT ERROR IN TITLE OF POST!!!! I spent 4 weeks in jail, not 4 months

I have nerve related symptoms but i don’t know what the issue seems to be?
I am 30F. No medications. Diagnosed with eating disorder and PTSD, seasonal allergies, and migraines.
Whenever i sweat, i lose the ability the feel my skin. When i have acid reflux issues, i lose the ability to feel my stomach and chest. When I’m congested, i cant feel air in my lungs. And i put any pressure on my jaw through eating or from nasal congestion, i cant feel my entire jaw. Literally just stretching and straining my muscles slightly will cause me to lose sensation in the inside of that area. For example, if i do squats, i cannot feel my upper legs for hours (not the skin but the inside of it)
My doctor tells me it’s nerve related but hasn’t further investigated. My neurologist doesn’t know what to think and just hasn’t helped. What the heck is going on?

New to asthma, so a little back story I've never had breathing problems my entire life, but I noticed that 1-2 times a year colds would progress into acute bronchitis and I would fully recover from it. At the age of 15 I began to work out and my sicknesses stopped progressing into acute bronchitis, it would just be slight congestion for the next 3 years up until now (18F). I was not aware that I had mild asthma, so in April 2023 I had suppressed a cough and some mucus, I'm not sure if that was the trigger but it had turned into 1 years worth of mental pain, dry coughing, and feeling like I can't breathe. The doctors told me it was psychogenic after they said that my ct and xray were normal but i can hear gurgling coming out of my airways. Every time I wake up I am constantly congested so I use a nasal rinse. There is always yellow like secretions and the lingering cough + after initial infection goes away is always viral induced. Exercising, cold weather, every other thing in my life has never triggered any asthmatic symptoms. I went to see an asthmatic doctor and he told me I could have viral induced/ bronchial asthma and it just hasn't been treated properly. The cough back in april 2023 lasted for 3 months until it finally started clearing up in the right lung but not the left then I got covid jan 2024 and strep throat march 2024. I'm so tired I just want to know if finally getting the right meds will give me my lungs back.

i feel as if sometimes my life is a joke, that God or the universe- whoever is trying to make an example out of me. the last 4-5 years have been nothing but anger and frustration stemming from my family, “friends”, and myself. i lost all my friends, they shut me out completely for months, my dumbass tried to reach out but nobody ever answered. nobody called and told me happy (21st) birthday which was expected, but instead they spent it with another friend who’s birthday i share with. i just had enough and blocked all of them. haven’t seen or spoken to them since then, it’s been 3 years i’ve been radio silent from even letting them know im alive . not long after i found no joy in social media so i deleted all my accounts (except for this and pinterest) and i feel a lot better but not having the communication with the outside world kills me.
November ‘22 my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, in a feat to be there for him (i am his only child, all my siblings are 1/2 siblings) i ran myself into the ground . i was traveling 50+ miles each day back and forth taking him to chemo, radiation and other doctor appts. when he was finally done with chemo and radiation we were waiting for his MRI and Catscan results on if he was a candidate to have the tumor removed . his doctor hadn’t seen the scan until we were in office since we had to bring them in from fje hospital. it spread all over his lungs and throat , now he had lung and pancreatic cancer. i couldn’t think clearly after that, i just felt like my heart had been torn in half . that was mid ‘23, were in summer of ‘24 and my father 74 years old ( he had me very late) is nearing the end of his days , we stopped all treatment he just has his hospice nurse come once a week to take his vitals . because i am his only child (the youngest in my family too) i have to bear the brunt of it all. i take care of him, i call him 5 times day to make sure he’s eaten and taken his meds . now all he does it lay in bed , he barely eats anything except for a few sips of soup throughout the day - he’s now my weight 110lbs, he’s shrunk , thankfully his hair has grown back , he’s he’s a shell of himself and i don’t know how to fix it. nobody in my family knows what i REALLY go go through , nobody knows how i really feel. i would get off work at 10:30 drive 45 min to his house , sleep the night with him , get his dressed and fed etc.everything a caretaker should do . now i feel it’s the time for me to make funeral arrangements, it’s something i’ve loathed doing yet i don’t don’t what else more to do . he’s getting weaker and sicker as the weeks go on , i just don’t know what to do anymore.
my family is the definition of dysfunctional and pathetic . my eldest sister is a junkie and hasn’t been around for years , she’s abandoned both her children and the only time we hear from her is when she’s in jail . my 2nd sister and i had a amazing relationship until 2020, we started to take care of my nephew bc my 2nd brother and his GF had major issues and the baby was in foster care, we had to travel across the US to go get the baby and keep him with us . she’s stressed beyond belief with all her bills, being a mother out of nowhere , and being the main breadwinner in the family so now everyone begs her for money. because of that i feel as if she hates me now , she’s so mad everyone else form ruining her life she’s now making my life hell . she knows i try to do right by her, i cook and clean, i take my nephew to daycare and i pick him up. i’m more of a parent than his actual parents. but it’s enough for her , our brother (the baby’s father) lived in our garage for 2 years, in that time span my sister never told him to do anything , he had no responsibility, no job , no worries now 2 years later and it’s the same thing. she doesn’t pressure him to take care of his child. he doesn’t give us money for food or clothes , he doesn’t give us thank you cards or anything . me and him don’t even speak to each other bc i called him out on his BS and he didn’t like it and nor did my sister. and idc it’s true , he’s a pathetic sorry excuse for a person and especially for a father. he’s selfish and ignorant not to mention a creep bc he’s 32 and his baby momma was younger than me when they met. my sister and i live under the same roof but we have separate lives, she barely speaks to me, never answers my texts or calls , ill talk to her and she’ll just ignore me . atp if my father wasnt in the state he’s in i’d either be gone or ran away . my third sister takes care of my eldest sisters daughter ( the other daughter is a state away and has no communication with us). not to mention the 3 of her own she has , she can’t hold a job and now owes my mother over 20k , my 2nd sister got an apartment for her and now she’s got a eviction notice bc the rents hasn’t been paid. my mom has shelled out so much money to just siblings the last 3 years her savings are non existent atp. my sister is selfish and has extreme anxiety, all she does is yell at her kids and curse, she disrespects our mother constantly and just uses her for money. my other sister doesn’t speak to us. my brother is. drunk who can’t hold a job . and my final sister is a pill popper who’s daughter got expelled from the county , now she’s going insane having to move to get her in a new school and supper they, she got fired bc she abused the rules and regulations of her jobs FMLA protocol , she just doesn’t want to work, she’s taken over 5k from my mom as well . my mom saved her money for years trying to get her teeth fixed and now she can’t bc of of the money she’s given to them , she at one point had 2 of my sisters and 5 kids living in her 2 bedroom home. it honestly was the worst part of her life, fighting everyday begging for money , one day i had to leave work bc she was about to heart attack being in the middle of a fight with my sisters . i love my mother dearly and im trying to do everything in my power to save her and my father from the annoyances and stressors of life . i yell at my siblings everyday bc of the awful people they are and how they are giving my mother hell, she had a embolism near her heart and didn’t tell anyone , not even me , i had to find out from looking at her discharge papers.
i’m the youngest of the bunch and i feel like i take the brunt of it all . i have no friends, barely any ambitions , and somehow im making it work , but im tired . i take shot from my family, i take shit at work , i take shit from life everyday. i’m thankful that im alive and im healthy , but my mental health is deteriorating. some days i just cry for no reason , i can’t take it anymore . i work full time , im in school full time, i take care of my nephew full time and my dad. i have no friends or boyfriend, my family only ever wants money or a baby sitter , i hate my job , i hate my life . i don’t know what to do anymore, i cant fix any of this , and it’s killing me to not be able to have a answer for it all. once my father passes i don’t know how much of life ill be able to handle, and my mother i def don’t know . atp im willing to just run away and never look back.

Wing and a prayer part 2
UNSD Relentless, Medbay
Zreini shifted slightly. A hazy fog seemed to cling to her mind, wrapping her senses in a disorienting embrace. Blinking her large heavy eyelids, she glanced upwards, her gaze falling upon an unfamiliar ceiling. Confusion and a deep ache pervaded her being, exacerbated by the fact that she was no longer cloaked in her familiar flight suit. Despite the pain that rippled through her feathered body as she sat up, she couldn't suppress a groan of discomfort.
“Hey there, take it easy, you shouldn’t even be sitting up right now.” A voice gently implored her. The gravity of her situation became apparent as the extent of her injuries was made known to the young Atodine. “You have suffered a collapsed lung and internal bleeding, most likely caused by your three broken ribs.” The human attending Zrieri shook their head. “I can’t believe you managed to walk out of your ship on your own.”
The doctors, faced with their first encounter with the Atodine species, had been forced to improvise, but their efforts ultimately saved her life. The human figure standing sympathetically beside her identified himself as Matthew Parks, the supervising doctor and head surgeon who had operated blindly to save Zrieri’s life.
Momentarily bewildered by her situation, it took a moment before she realized she was understanding the alien perfectly as she could her own doctor back on Atodine Prime.
“Excuse me, how exactly can I understand you?” The uncertainty in her eyes betrayed her confusion.
“Please relax and lay back down, I’ll do what I can to explain.” Matthew said in a smooth yet authoritative voice. “We are making use of a universal translator, a small device implanted in our ears at an early age. It facilitates cross-species communication. We implanted the device into your own ears while in surgery. Apparently it was easy to program as you had already done work to translate our language.”
“Then you know where I was before I crashed into your ship.” Zrieri said softly. “Your second name indicates familial ties, yes? Are you perhaps…”
“Rory Parks, the commander of the Providence, was my grandfather.” Matthew said with a solemn nod. “Though I’m afraid I never got to meet him in life, I was born here in Alpha Centauri after The Breaking.”
Zrieri winced. There was no need to ask what Matthew meant by that. “He must have fought until the very end, and even now I feel like he stands vigil over your nest world.”
Matthew nodded. In a way it was as if their lives and fates were now inextricably linked. Furthermore, the empathetic doctor had knowledge of her profound encounter with the Providence, signaling a deeper connection between them than Zreini could have anticipated. The path ahead now shrouded in mystery, Zreini braced herself for the unfolding chapters of her life's narrative, intertwined with that of Matthew Parks and the resolute alliance forged between their species.
Zreini's attention was immediately seized by the sight of a group of men entering the medbay. Their unmistakable uniforms identified them as guards, and they were accompanied by two women.one was dressed in uniform, while other woman wore a pristine white suit. Zrieri felt more than a little uncomfortable as she was wearing nothing more than her feathers and a light blanket. For what had to be a formal first contact situation. Zreini's focus shifted to the woman in uniform as she walked towards Matthew.
"Doc, is our guest able to speak?" The woman addressed Matthew with a hint of concern in her voice.
"Yes, Cap, she can receive guests. Our bio screening indicated that there is nothing present in her system that would be harmful to her or us. And although she is still tender from her surgery, as far as I can tell she is mending well.”
“It's good to hear that. She nearly got herself killed when she crashed into our port shields." As the woman turned around and made her way towards Zrieri, she was handed a tablet by one of the guards. Engrossed in her task, she began swiping on the device while glancing down at Zreini. With a confident demeanor, she introduced herself. "Right, so welcome aboard the Relentless. I am Commander Rahy Meson, the Commanding Officer of this vessel. But first, we need to confirm something. Are you affiliated with the race known as the Rachanit? It appears that your spacecraft utilizes a Rachanit HyperDrive, and your craft seems to incorporate their technology and metallurgy."
Zreini's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief. "What? No! We are at war with them. We salvaged this drive and other components from the many battles we have had with the Rachanit. My race, the Atodine, didn't even possess FTL technology before the conflict began. We were trying to figure out how to build our own drives by observing the captured drive in my prototype craft, the Voidflyer. We were also curious about the apparent dead zone in Rachanit controlled space. The data that indicates your system of origin. Of course, you can imagine what I found when I reached the star system you once called home.” Zrieri took the almost oppressive silence as a confirmation and continued. “I found the ship called the Providence in the debris field of what had to be a great battle. From what information I found on the computer systems lead me here. I wasn’t even sure if your race still existed or not, but I had to find out.”
Commander Meson exchanged a look with the other woman in the white suit before turning back to their guest. With a slight nod she encouraged Zrieri to continue.
“Please understand, I have been dispatched here with the urgent task of finding out why the Rachanits are avoiding this region of space. Additionally, I am supposed to determine if there is a species somewhere in the galaxy capable of assisting my kind. Although we have managed to fend off their advancements so far, it appears that after each encounter, the Rachanit simply toy with us, leaving us bewildered and anxious.”By this point in the story, the woman clad in a pristine white suit had gracefully positioned herself next to the commander. Zreini shifted her gaze towards her, curious to learn more about this new arrival.
The woman extended her hand and spoke with a confident tone, "Well met, then, Zreini."
Zreini nodded in acknowledgement, reciprocating the formal greeting.
The woman continued. “My name is Michèle Hughes, I am the sitting President of the United Nations Space Defense, or UNSD.”
Meeting the captain of the vessel she was rescued by was to be expected, but meeting who Zrieri could only assume was the head of the entire human government was almost beyond belief.
“I must apologize, President Hughes, I’m a pilot, not a diplomat.”
“Zrieri, In my opinion, the best diplomats always had a real job first.” Her lips curled in a slight smile, a positive gesture from what the Atodine had gathered. “We are grateful for the information you have gathered from outside our little bubble. We have strived to remain silent and unnoticed in the years since The Breaking. We lost a great deal of our fleet, as you saw first hand.” Zrieri nodded and President Hughes continued. “Mankind had endured a period of secrecy, driven by our unwavering desire to avenge the destruction of their homeworld at the hands of the Rachanit. Over time, we have meticulously bolstered and upgraded our fleet, preparing for the day when retribution would be realized.”
“If you can assist in repairing my ship, I can return home and…”
Commander Meson shook her head. “Zrieri, there is no way I could in good conscience let you take that ship back out into space. No amount of repairs could make it spaceworthy at this point.”
“I know it is a little rude to show up unannounced, But I don’t think your government will be terribly upset if we were to give Rachanit the fiery justice they deserve.” President Hughes swiftly diverted her attention, tapping a device in her ear, presumably a communication device. "Fleet Command, it’s time to bring the pain to the bugs." With her orders communicated, she turned back to face Commander Meson, resolute in her commitment. "Commander, the Relentless will serve as our flagship, leading the charge. We shall make our way to Atodine Prime, and if our guest is well enough to leave the medical bay, she may join us on the bridge."
Meson snapped to attention, saluting the President. "Yes, ma'am," she responded dutifully. Directing her focus towards the doctor, the commander inquired, "Is our guest capable of leaving the medbay?"
The doctor lifted his gaze from the tablet he was using to monitor his patient’s vitals. Matthew considered the question for a moment before replying.
"As long as she avoids exerting herself excessively and remains in a wheelchair Zrieri should be fine."
“If I can also request something more than just a blanket to wear?” Zrieri asked in a soft voice.
“Our clothing isn’t designed to take feathers into account, but I think a hospital gown will still work for an Atodine.”
President Hughes nodded approvingly. Turning her attention to Zreini, she issued a directive with a touch of levity, "Excellent. Zreini, get yourself dressed. You'll be accompanying me."
Matthew closed the screen for privacy and helped Zrieri to get dressed and transferred to the powered wheelchair. She was unfamiliar with the medical device, but the controls were intuitive enough for the test pilot.
“For what it’s worth, one of the ship's tailors is cleaning and restoring your flight suit, so you will have real clothing when it’s time for you to disembark.”
“After what I’ve been through, I’m happy to have most of my feathers still intact. Thank you, Doc.”
Matthew smiled before retracting the screen.
"Well, then, President, Commander, lead the way." She declared confidently.
Zreini followed closely behind Commander Meson, taking caution to not run over her hosts with her chair. Her head was on a swivel, keenly observing her surroundings as the bustling crew prepared for the imminent events. The air hummed with ceaseless activity, creating an atmosphere charged with anticipation. They entered an elevator, and Zreini felt the gentle motion as it ascended. In a short span of time, the doors opened, revealing a vibrant and effervescent bridge.
The crew members were engaged in active communication, each fulfilling their designated roles with unwavering dedication. Suddenly, one of the crew members spotted Meson's entrance and promptly assumed a position of attention.
"Captain on the bridge," they announced, prompting everyone to briefly pause their activities.
Meson surveyed the scene before stepping towards the elevated chair, addressing her subordinates. "At ease, everyone. Carry on with your tasks." She then directed her attention to a man standing beside her. "Arian, have we received the coordinates for Atodine Prime?"
Arian, now adopting a more relaxed posture while retaining his professionalism, responded promptly, "Yes, ma'am. However, we are unaware of what awaits us once we arrive there."
Meson acknowledged his response with a curt nod. "Very well, since we know the location of the hyperlane point, our target is set. Zreini, I am curious if your people's fleet possesses knowledge of hyperlane points and their significance?"
Zreini glanced upwards, her eyes scanning the vast expanse of space above. “The knowledge we possess about these hyperlane points is scant at best, We know that the Rachanit use several specific points in our system to resupply and reinforce their fleet, and that there were only certain points I could take with the Voidflyier, even after I removed the lockouts for human space. Getting a better understanding of hyperdimensional travel was a significant point in my test flight.”
Meson nodded. “If you will excuse the simplification of multidimensional travel, the hyperlanes are natural travel points formed by the interplay of massive objects and their gravitational fields. Paths of least resistance, as it were. This is why they are entering your system from the same few points.”
Zrieri nodded. “I think I get the idea.”
“We managed to fight back and blockade the points in our space. Eventually the Rachanit grew tired of losing ships to our minefields and destroyers, and from what we’ve learned from you, even locked human space out of their travel computers. We are also aware they have fortified the same points on their end to prevent us from attacking.”
“The fact that you were able to fight them back to these hyperlane points says a lot about your people. We are barely keeping them out of orbit around Atodine Prime at this point.”
“We were just doing what we must. We continued to research hyperdimensional travel and we made a breakthrough. We found a way to construct our own hyperlanes. True, they collapse behind the ships after entering normal space, but it means we are not limited to a single point of entry between given systems. The tactics the Rachanit are currently using against your people proves they have not made a similar discovery. In fact, from what we have gleaned from both your data and the Rachanit components used in the Voidflier’s construction, their technology hasn’t advanced at all since they first fought us.”
“But yours has.” The reality started to sink in for Zrieri.
The humans had managed to fight back the Rachanit two generations ago, and since then they had only advanced and improved their technology while their enemy had been stagnant. In the same way the Rachanit had overpowered and outclassed all the species they conquered and devoured, the humans now outclassed them. And they had an unimaginable grudge to settle.
The seasoned commander nodded. Her eyes then shifted towards Adrian, the renowned strategist. "We must make our way to the hyperlane point," Meson declared, her voice firm and resolute. “We will cut them off from resupply and retreat. And then we hunt down and squash every last one of those damned bugs.”
Zreini felt a bit of a chill run down her spine, but felt no empathy for the Rachanit. A race that would gleefully consume chicks is not one that deserved to exist anywhere in the universe. Her beak closed tightly and Zrieri nodded back to the commander.
"Sound stations, full alert! Activate shields and arm all weapon systems. We will be going in hot and we will hit those bugs like the angry fist of god!” There was a large cheer from the bridge crew, almost enough to hurt Zrieri’s ears. “Set the course towards the Hyperlane point in the Atodine's system. There is little chance of encountering any friendly ships this far behind enemy lines, so the fleet is given permission to engage any enemy vessel. The Relentless, however, will be focusing all fire on any capital ships in range."
Zreini had expected the Relentless to travel to the border of the system from her basic understanding of how hyperdrives worked. However, instead of moving, the relentless remained where it was and opened up a corridor in front of it, like a door opening up in front of a ship.
As the blue portal opened, the helmsman called out, "Ma'am, the hypergate is stable."
“Michèle, you are the commander in chief.” Meson said tuning to the president with a grim smile.”
“Thank you, Rahy.” President Hughes smiled back. "Take us in at full speed. If the Rachantis haven't changed their ways, we're sure to catch them off guard."
The helmsman replied, "Yes, ma'am. Full speed."
The Relentless moved into the hypergate, and Zreini looked out from the bridge. Just before fully entering, she could see other human ships opening up gates and following suit.
Atodine system hyperlane point
The tense atmosphere on the bridge of the Rachanits flotilla's flagship was further heightened as the Fleet Master, a seasoned officer with years of experience, reviewed the data before him. The Rachanits ships were strategically positioned just outside the main hyperlane point, ready to engage in battle. The Fleet Master couldn't help but silently admire the avians' exceptional combat skills, acknowledging their formidable ability to put up a fight. However, he couldn't deny the futility of their efforts in the face of his own fleet's overwhelming power.
Before the fleet master could delve deeper into his thoughts about the avians' resilience, his attention was abruptly diverted as a crew member urgently reported detecting peculiar readings on the ship's port side. This was a rarity, as the crew member had never encountered anything quite like it before. Complying with his duty, albeit somewhat begrudgingly, the fleet master moved swiftly towards the station, intent on examining the enigmatic readings.
As he analyzed the data, the Fleet Master's countenance underwent a swift metamorphosis. A mix of disbelief and horror washed over his face, evident in his dramatic change of expression. All coherent thought seemed to flee from his mind as he exclaimed incredulously, unable to accept what he was witnessing.
"This can't be... they can't possibly be out here!" He declared, his voice trembling with both astonishment and fear.
In the midst of his disbelief, the Fleet Master's attention was suddenly diverted to the multiple hypergates opening. His eyes widened with an acute sense of urgency as he realized the gravity of the situation unfolding before him.
With a commanding tone, he bellowed, "No! Raise the shields!"
But his command was left hanging, unfinished, as the ship violently convulsed under the immense force of impact. A ship, dwarfing the very flagship the Fleet Master was stationed on, emerged from the hypergate with unstoppable momentum. It crashed mercilessly through the flagship, The Rachanit vessel splintered against the powerful shields as if it were nothing more than dry noodles. The Fleet Master, caught in the cataclysmic destruction of his own vessel, was unceremoniously expelled into the merciless vacuum of space, losing his life to the cold void that awaited him. As his life ebbed away, his gaze fixated on the imposing letters adorning the ship that had mercilessly cleaved his flagship in half: UNSD Relentless.
As the chaos in the vicinity escalated, even more hypergates began to materialize, heralding the arrival of additional formidable adversaries, all of which opened fire without a moment’s hesitation.
UNSD Relentless bridge
The shields, typically steady and unyielding, momentarily flickered, as if sensing an unseen disturbance. President Hughes felt a ripple of unease wash over her in response to this transient disruption. Instinctively, she scanned the control room, her eyes darting from one crew member to another in search of answers, not wanting to disrupt the commander from her duties. Eventually, her attention settled on the helmsman, hoping to find an explanation for the disconcerting blip in their otherwise flawless operation.
Without much concern, the helmsman met the president's inquisitive gaze, seemingly unaffected by the anomaly. "Oh, don’t worry about that, it was just a bug on the windshield, ma'am," he casually declared, as if attributing the brief tremor to a mundane occurrence.
Her lighthearted chuckle lightened the mood, but only slightly. As soon as the Relentless fully entered normal space Commander Meson gave the order to fire. Large anti-ship missiles rocketed out of their launch bays as laser batteries began to sweep the enemy fleet. Zrieri watched in awe as the fist of an angry god indeed slammed into the invader’s fleet. The light show only increased as more human ships entered normal space and opened fire.
President Hughes stood up from her seat. "Coms broadcast on every available frequency; we are here to aid the Atodine and have no hostile intent towards them, only the Rachanit."
This declaration exemplified both her intent to assist who would hopefully be new allies and her readiness to confront the enemy forces head-on, showcasing a blend of strategic acumen and fearless resolve in the face of adversity.
In the opening minutes of the battle the Rachanit losses were crushing, as only the most forward of vessels had their shields active as per their battle doctrine. The enemy fleet scrambled to raise shields and conduct evasive maneuvers to counter the surprise attack. In their war with the humans the Rachanit’s weapons and ships were numerous and powerful, as the wreckage orbiting Sol could attest. But in the intervening years humans had researched and worked tirelessly to upgrade and advance ships, offensive, and defensive systems.
The Rachanit , however, confident in their technological domination in every other system had only rebuilt their fleets to the same specifications. They sealed off the humans in a bubble and just pretended that no race had ever come close to matching them. And after all, they destroyed the human homeworld, what race could ever recover from that? The Rachanit may have indeed broken the Earth, but not her children.
Rachanit capital ships were exploding into space-dust while the shields of the human fleet barely even flickered against the pitiful return fire. Anti-ship missiles were destroyed by point defenses before they could even attempt to breach the shields. And then things got even worse for the invaders.
Humans were not the only race in the galaxy that wanted vengeance against the Rachanit. A portion of the fleet defending Atodine prime broke off and moved to engage the invading fleet from what had become the rear lines. After all the suffering they had received, they saw a chance to ensure the eradication of the fleet. Nimble Atodine fighters launched from carriers as their cruisers provided covering fire. They swarmed the remaining ships, their shields already greatly weakened from combat with the human fleet. Plasma bombs smashed into the hulls of the Rachanit lighter ships, severely damaging or outright destroying them.
The captains of the remaining Rachanit vessels attempted to flee the battle, but the hyperspace lane was guarded by several destroyers and cruisers and the Atodine ships pursued from behind. Not a single invading ship escaped the combined wrath of the humans and the Atodine.
On the bridge of the Relentless Zrieri watched the battle unfold with her beak agape. A part of her wondered if she had suffered a fatal injury crashing into the Relentless and this was just the last dream of her dying mind. Zrieri saw capital ships explode into dust, cruisers swatted like annoying bugs by a single blast of a laser battery. Then she saw her own people joining the fight.
Zrieri let out a cry of rage and joy at this. Of course, the screeching cry drew the attention of everyone on the bridge, as it sounded something akin to an angry hawk. Zrieri didn’t care, she cheered on her people as they swept up behind the Rachanit , herding them to ultimate destruction at the hyperlane point.
“Commander,” the coms officer called out, “The Atodine fleet is hailing us.”
Commander Meson nodded then turned to the president. “Michèle, am I taking this one or you?”
“You take this one, Rahy, I will speak to their ruling body after you get everyone calmed down after the fight.”
The commander chuckled as she stood up from her chair and moved to stand by Zrieri. “Patch us through to the Atodine Fleet.”
The main screen switched from the view of local space to an older Atodine standing front and center.
“Human vessels. I am Admiral Kaba of the Atodine Defense Forces. Please state your reason for entering Atodine space.”
“I am Commander Rahy Meson of the UNSD Relentless. I’m afraid one of your test pilots had ship trouble after entering our space, so we decided to escort her home. Of course, we had to swat a few bugs on the way.”
Kaba let out a small chirp of a laugh. “Although we are grateful for your actions today, we are more than a little wary of other races, as our first experience was with the Rachanit.”
“Ours as well.” Meson said with a solemn nod. “Mr. Riley, relay the order to the fleet. Initiate immediate power-down of all weapon systems until further notice.”
“And your shields?”
“We will drop the shields of any ships that enter the orbit of your planet, however we both know there are more Rachanit vessels out there.”
“That will be acceptable, for now. As for our test pilot.” his large eyes shifted to Zrieri in her wheelchair.
“Sir!” Zrieri snapped a salute. “Please excuse me for not standing, I suffered almost as much damage as the Voidflier.”
“Are you fit to travel by shuttle to my ship?”
“As long as my hosts allow me to keep this mobile chair.”
“We can make arrangements for Zrieri’s transfer, as well as her ship. Although it is no longer fit for space, I wouldn’t want to keep your people’s first FTL capable ship from you.”
“Thank you. All joking aside, I must ask. Why did you come to our aid?”
“Before the end of the war, or I suppose the first war now, with the Rachanit they destroyed our home world, literally shattered the planet to the core. We do not need much of an excuse to turn their ships into space junk.”
The feathers around Kaba’s neck puffed up with anger. “I thought I had heard every horror the Rachanit were capable of, yet somehow I am not completely surprised.”
“They are a plague on the galaxy, but as strong as we have become we will still need help to put an end to the threat.”
“This is quickly evolving from a defense matter to a diplomatic one. And unsurprisingly every member of the High Council is trying to reach me at this moment.
“That’s our governing body.” Zrieri informed Meson.
“Politics and diplomacy then. I will gladly hand that mess over to Michèle Hughes, President of the UNSD. While they talk, we can sort out the transfer of your lost pilot and ship.”
Kaba let out another chirp of a laugh. “That sounds like a good plan to me.”
Atodine Space Academy, West Wing
Zrieri advanced to a slide of the first diplomatic meeting between the atodine and human representatives.
“Needless to say, our second contact went much better than the first.” She paused as her students chuckled. “But what followed was just the start. The alliance between the Atodine and Humans soon grew to The Great Alliance as more races joined the fight. Some were besieged like we were, others were days away from their worlds being turned into nothing more than livestock pens.” Images flashed by and video clips played on the screen as Zrieri continued. “The alliance drove off the invading fleets, freely gave relief aid and shared the technology to make a stand against the Rachanit. Day by day their fleets were decimated and they lost access to resources and facilities as they lost entire systems in a matter of hours. They constantly fell back, whatever ships could limp back to their home system did so. After ten long cycles the Rachanit were the ones huddled around their nest world. Scared and hopeless as the vengeance of hundreds of worlds bared down on them.” Zrieri looked up at the screen behind her. “The vids can’t do the battle justice.”
“Professor? You were there?” One of her students asked.
“Of course I was there, in my old VF-77 fighter, the first one to roll off the line. We destroyed every ship, every station, every orbital and lunar defense platform. Precise strikes were made to their ground defenses, leaving nothing but caters. And then, we stopped.”
“But why stop? Why not just finish off the Rachanit?” Another student questioned.
“It was the humans who stayed the righteous fist of The Great Alliance. The only member who had their nest world completely destroyed was the one advocating against a similar action taken against the Rachanit. However, it wasn’t out of mercy. You see, just destroying them would be too easy of a punishment, the humans wanted them to suffer. So now they are contained on a single planet. Anytime they try to rebuild their infrastructure, the orbital defenses we left in place vaporize it. Without the countless worlds of sapient livestock to feed them, the Rachanit turned on themselves. Fighting and eating each other to survive. They once traveled to the stars, the most powerful empire in the galaxy, and now they struggle to survive one day to the next in a hopeless existence. Annihilating them would have been a mercy, and those damn bugs know it.”
Zrieri ended the feed to the screen. She looked out at the faces of her students. That last part always left an impact. They were gathered from all over the Great Alliance. So many different races came together to end the threat of the Rachanit. But after that was dealt with, they stayed united, working together to build a better society for all the member systems. She couldn’t help but feel pride in the part she played in all of that. She touched the platinum stylized wings that hung from her neck. They were called The Wings of Janaria; the greatest honor bestowed to a member of the Starcorps. She let out a soft sigh and focussed back on her duties as a professor.
“Are there any more questions?” She asked the students and a flurry of hands were raised.
Before she could call on anyone, the chimes noting the end of the period played out loudly.
“Ah, looks like we are out of time for today. I will see you in two days and we can continue then with your questions. Class dismissed.”

63F. I am actually 63F son. I'll try to keep this as short and to the point as possible. My mother smoked for 45 years. Last year in March we went out for a day trip. All went well. We drove through an area that was spreading chicken manure but the smell wasn't as bad as it could have been. 3 hours after she got home, her chest was tight. She was congested, Hard to breathe. The next day she was admitted to the hospital with a daily drip of strong antibiotics, another drip that made her urinate a lot and breathing treatments. She was in the hospital for about 5 days. She did stop smoking. The first day in the hospital was the day she stopped. But ever since she was in the hospital, she can't even walk from one room to another without getting out of breath. She uses oxygen fairly often. Usually everyday for a total of about 2 hours. Some days it is longer. Some days are good days where she can go outside, drive somewhere. Other days, like high humidity days and high pollen/air quality days, forget it. She struggles even inside the house.
She lives with her long term boyfriend. He has not taken a bath in a little over 3 years. He constantly has this weird, stale odor to him. About 4 to 5 times a year, for about a week he smells different. I always say that's when he's shedding. Because if I am there and he smells different, I will literally have non stop sneeze attacks in the house. My sinuses gets so inflamed feeling and runny. Sneezing. Headaches. I tell her that it's because of him. She doesn't want to hear it. When I take her to her Doctors appointments, I tell her that she needs to mention that he doesn't take a bath and see what they Doc says about it. She said she asked one time and she said the Doctor told her that it wasn't an issue. I'm sorry, but breathing in human waste, dead skin dust and whatever else that is coming from him can not be healthy for her already sensitive lungs. I mean he is not clean at all. He gets shit on his pants, he doesn't change them, it dries and of course that goes into the air. Could this be affecting her vulnerable lungs or is it really nothing to worry about according to her of what her Doc supposedly said?

I am 43 and don't know how to get decent medical care. I have multiple health issues that took YEARS of dismissals and being told I was a hypochondriac, had Munchausens, was a drug seeker etc to even get diagnosed. But even when I finally get answers doctors STILL dismiss me and even with concrete test results in hand it's always "maybe if you lost weight everything would be fine". I have Fibromyalgia, moderate osteoarthritis, congestive heart failure, non alcoholic fatty liver disease auto immune related, non diabetic neuropathy, Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, I've had an infected gallbladder that needed emergency removal (after 5 months of being incredibly sick and sent home with anxiety meds and called a bulimic and hypochondriac) as well as a massive pulmonary embolism that almost killed me. But it's all because I'm fat or lying or a woman right?
So I fell in January, hit my head on concrete and had a concussion. I wasn't allowed to work until a neurologist cleared me. The exam from her was exactly what I've come to expect from the medical community: half assed and very dismissive of anything not right. She did a physical test where she didn't even give me time to complete her instructions before saying "good!" And moving right to the next instruction. The "comprehensive" exam started at 11:42 and she was done at 11:43 lol. She went super fast, didn't even seem to give a f**k if I could do what she asked, rushed the instructions which was confusing, and then said I scored perfect.
3 months later I'm still struggling with memory, I sleep way too much, my left side in general has slower reaction, I'm dropping stuff, have issues with not feeling when I have to use the bathroom until its an emergency and I have speech troubles. I was referred for weekly speech therapy (by this neurologist who said my exam was "perfect" lol - so perfect I need speech therapy?) but the speech therapists office completely ghosted me after the initial assessment and multiple calls, messages, and even using the automated appointment system didn't get a follow up call or visit.
When I fell the CT scans also found my thyroid is enlarged and there's a 7 mm calcified nodule in the right lobe. The ER people didn't tell me, like usual I had to find out by reading my own test results. This is yet another issue I've had for years. Tests for one thing will show other things but the doctors don't tell me and I find out only by looking at my online chart. I've so far had to find out on my own about 1) two ovarian cysts at different times on different sides, (I have had 12 or more ovarian cysts over the years and sometimes they are large, but drs never treat them and several have burst which is painful as heck.) 2) a cyst that calcified in my lung, (I think it was a cyst, they refused to check) 3) a 9 mm cyst in my right kidney 4) four bulging and slipped discs in my lower spine 5) the enlarged thyroid 6) the nodule in my thyroid 7) congestive heart failure.
But I was at least able to talk the neurologist into giving me a referral for endocrinology to have my thyroid checked. Now I've had ongoing symptoms of thyroid disease including a f*****g goiter for over 20 years but my basic hormone levels are always low normal so no doctor will do any further testing EVER. So sadly I was actually super excited that my thyroid was enlarged and that I had a nodule because stupid me, I thought "FINALLY, I will get answers, because there's irrefutable PROOF something is wrong with my thyroid!" HA was I dumb.
I scheduled with one of the top endocrinologists at the Cleveland Clinic. I walk in to my appointment and he asks why I'm there. I tell him what the CT showed and he started asking me about family history with thyroid disease. (Paternal aunt had hers removed, maternal aunt had thyroid cancer, a cousin from a different maternal aunt had part of hers removed, and one of my maternal aunts has hypothyroid disease) he waves his hand and says NONE of that matters and has absolutely no bearing on me because they aren't close relatives. Then he asks my symptoms: (all getting slowly worse since I was 16 years old) chronic fatigue, hair loss and thinning, body cannot regulate temperature, facial hair growth, feeling like something is stuck in my throat constantly, trouble swallowing, choking on food, I can't lose weight no matter what I try (and believe me, ive tried a lot and actually had faure to thrive as a kid and was so underweight they had me on ensure drinks until i was 12) and never have been able to since i started slowly gaining at 12- and thats where he stopped me.
He ignored the rest of my symptoms and the visit was basically over at that point because he found the answer! I'm fat lol. But! Never fear! In a couple years he truly believes Wegovy and Ozempic will be covered by Medicaid and I'll FINALLY have ALL my problems fixed because I'll be able to lose weight! Literally the entire rest of the appointment he talked NONSTOP about Wegovy and Ozempic and kept "reassuring" me that's ALL I need. Any time I tried to say anything he cut me off to keep talking about those two drugs. He did a quick ultrasound of my thyroid, found it's definitely pretty enlarged and irregular, found the nodule but didn't even measure it and dismissed it as a cyst after half a second: "I don't see anyth- oh its a cyst" and he immediately moved the wand.
Then I got my basic hormones checked lol. They came back low normal. I messaged him through MyChart and asked since basic hormones are "normal" but I have all these symptoms, choke on food, feel awful, have an embarrassing and uncomfortable GOITER, AND a cyst AND my thyroid is enlarged, what is the next step? He literally responded: "the cyst is clinically insignificant, almost everyone has them" ignored all the other symptoms and never responded again.
Y'all I'm sorry this is such a long post but dammit if this hasn't been basically every doctors appointment since I was 16. I'm 43, I go to work, fight through constant pain and fatigue to do my job, go home and nap for 4 hours, make dinner and eat and go to bed. That's my life. I'm in constant level 6 pain scale pain even with meds and CBD creams, I sh*t myself, I occasionally wet the bed, I pee when I sneeze or cough, I walk into walls and trip on air, I choke on my own spit, I cant lose weight and the scale has been stuck at 265 for 17 years. It goes up or down a couple pounds and immediately goes back to 265. I drop stuff all the time, fall several times a year from balance issues, can never sleep enough, and all of this got even worse after the concussion.
And no matter what medical issues is found and no matter what doctor I go to, it's downplayed to me being fat, or a hypochondriac. I can not go to the doctor for ANYTHING for 3 YEARS, and as soon as I have a medical issue: DRUG SEEKING FAT HYPOCHONDRIAC!!!
I'm so tired. I struggle to stay awake to do stuff with my kids, I missed part of my daughter's wedding reception because I had to lay down, I fall asleep sitting up at the dinner table, this is not normal!! Why are doctors so horrible to women?? Even women doctors!! The last female PCP I had heard everything I was going through and told me to make a big pot of cabbage soup and eat that throughout the day to lose weight and I'd feel better. Wtf. I worry I'm going to die before I'm 50 of something undiagnosed at this point. Does anyone have any advice?

Ya know what's scarier than a stalker sneaking up behind you to tell you about its mom and savior, HiveLord-sama? It's TWO stalkers doing that.
Know what's scarier than that? Running into FOUR stalkers on Fenrir III, in the pitch black darkness of the shadows on that planet. I don't know what it is about that planet, but if I'm in a shadow there, I can't see anything. I've literally walked right into bugs who seemed just as surprised as I was that they were there. For about 3 seconds. Then they tried to eat my toes, very rude. Then there were more bugs in the shadow that I had missed, don't ask me what they were doing in the shadows, I don't want to know. So I had to shoot them because I am not gonna take part in whatever you call that kink, but then forgot I was using a weapon with AoE damage. And while my limbs separated from my body I had two thoughts:

1. "Damn, this is an embarrassing way to die for someone at my level."
2. "What is this song playing in my head, it sounds Japanese but I can only remember vague words rather than whole lyrics. Damn that's gonna drive me crazy."

But I think, I found something even more unnerving than running into a convention of perv bugs or your receding hairline. It's on this new "turn off the termicide generator" missions. I like the briefness of it, I like that I don't have to defend the thing I'm trying to turn off, I'm also not thinking about why we can't blow it up from orbit because those thoughts would be very undemocratic. Almost as undemocratic as those treasonous scientists who didn't know what adaptation was. I hope they get sent to the worst freedom camp imaginable.
So, the thing that terrifies me more than anything in this universe... is the holes. Specifically, on Fenrir III, where we put the termicide generators, apparently these massive holes in the ground have formed. And while they seem easy enough to avoid, remember what I said about the shadows on Fenrir III? Yeah, I think you know where this is going....
So imagine, you're just casually going towards your objective, you step into the shadows for half a second and then feel yourself tumbling down into the darkness. Congratulations. You're in a hole. And get comfy because there's no way out.
That hole is about to fill with bugs very soon because this mission is more congested with bodies than an average new york subway at rush hour. Or your mom's house on the weekend.
So imagine being stuck in that hole, can't aim upwards, bugs are crawling into and around the hole trying to get at you, and occasionally a bug with burrowing abilities pops up right under you, behind you, out of your democracydamned chest like that one movie that nobody remembers. Then you kill those bugs because that's what we do, we're helldivers, we kill things for super earth and we don't negotiate with bugs because when we try, they just scream at us and then lunge. Can't imagine why.
But oh no... their corpses fall on you. They drop where they come out. Suddenly that hole's about to lose quite a bit of wiggle room. So much that you can no longer stand and are stuck prone. Your screen fills up with dead bugs, and the chittering... dear liberty the chittering.
At some point, you're gonna wish for death but... oh no. You don't have anything that can kill you intentionally. You brought stun grenades, the senator, the arc blitzer. Those things can't kill you. They can kill everything else, but not you.
Okay no problem, you're a helldiver, if anyone knows how to kill something when you don't have the equipment its you. Eagle's pretty good at killing you... but you brought rocket pods.
Okay, it's sentry order day, so let's just drop a sentry on ourselves and- this is one of those environments where strategem beacons just don't work on. Which also means the support weapon and backpacks also won't drop.
So while you're thinking about all the bullying you're gonna do to those engineers who designed the beacons to work this way, you start telling your team to ignore their programming to not kill you and instead pretend like you're a pelvic thrusting scavenger typing up a poorly worded complaint about the Helldiver program, and SEND A GODDAMN GRENADE INTO THIS CORPSE HOLE! That's right, you people with poor aim and a flippant attitude towards whether a teammate is in the range of a cluster bomb, this is your moment to be a hero! This is where you have a one free pass!
.....but alas, they cannot. Because, as they described it, there were more bugs between them and me than a [insert swarm comparison here because I am out of good ones]. Also, super destroyers are getting a little impatient and probably the same guy who handles the orbital barrages is hovering his finger just over the "fuck this shit, I'm out" button that we have installed for reasons above my paygrade. And pelican is not gonna wait around because he is an asshole. Eagle-1 is great and we love her. Pelican will land nose-first into the ground, refuse to let you in, and then leave without you while reporting the entire team as "KIA."
"Soooooo, bye."
Don't leave me guys... I'm still alive down here. Still stuck. It's getting really dark down here. Really cold. I think my life support systems are failing. But you'll come back for me... right... right.... right? Please...
So, moral of the story... when you're on those missions, bring explosives so that you can embrace the sweet mercy of death and be returned to the will of Liberty beyond the veil.

Hi, i have suffered pots symptoms for about 2 years now. Something that over the last year or so that i have been suffering is very bizarre numbness attacks. These attacks can look like
Acid reflux or stomach inflammation causing numbness sensation in stomach
Reflux and lung congestion causing numbness in the lungs (cant feel air anymore)
Ear congestion having entire jaw and mouth to go mouth
Lower intestines going numb when inflamed.
Stretching my legs in yoga causing the nerves inside my legs to go numb (not the skin)
Has anyone suffered this? I go to the hospital and they look at me like im crazy

Im trying to correct my breathing posture by not rotating my neck too much but it's causing water to go in my mouth and nose. It's just the water that drips from the fingers but im having trouble expelling it and after a while i feel like i cant take a proper breath- lile not enough air is entering my lungs. Help?