I wanted to pin wine-stable-i386 at version 7.* in order to keep MS Office 2010 functioning under WINE.
Now, I created a file /etc/apt/preferences.d/wine-stable with the contents

Package: wine-stable* Pin: version 7* Pin-Priority: 1001 

for wine-stable and wine-stable-amd64 this has the desired result:

LANG=C apt policy wine-stable-amd64 wine-stable-amd64: Installed: 7.0.2~bookworm-1 Candidate: 7.0.2~bookworm-1 Version table: 9.0.0.0~bookworm-1 500 500 bookworm/main amd64 Packages 8.0.2~bookworm-1 500 500 bookworm/main amd64 Packages 8.0.1~bookworm-1 500 500 bookworm/main amd64 Packages 8.0.0.0~bookworm-1 500 500 bookworm/main amd64 Packages *** 7.0.2~bookworm-1 1001 500 bookworm/main amd64 Packages 100 /valib/dpkg/statushttps://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debianhttps://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debianhttps://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debianhttps://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debianhttps://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debian 

Yet for some strange reason, the result for wine-stable-i386 which matches the same pattern is different:

 apt policy wine-stable-i386 wine-stable-i386:i386: Installed: 7.0.2~bookworm-1 Candidate: 9.0.0.0~bookworm-1 Version table: 9.0.0.0~bookworm-1 500 500 https://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debian bookworm/main i386 Packages 8.0.2~bookworm-1 500 500 https://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debian bookworm/main i386 Packages 8.0.1~bookworm-1 500 500 https://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debian bookworm/main i386 Packages 8.0.0.0~bookworm-1 500 500 https://dl.winehq.org/wine-builds/debian bookworm/main i386 Packages *** 7.0.2~bookworm-1 500 

This remains unchanged when I increase the pin value to the highest allowed value (32767), also if I add a seperate block Package: wine-stable-i386 without globbing Does anyone have an idea what I might be missing? How can I debug apt policy's decision making? I've found various tutorials on apt pinning, but none on how to debug it. Does apt pinning behave differently for foreign architectures? Because, that's the only difference I can see here.

This will function as a one-stop guide to sound deaden the 3rd generation Mazda3. I believe it will be useful for any previous or next-gen Mazda3 owner, or anyone with a CX-30, as these platforms share many components.
Like others undertaking this project, I did a ton of research on sound deadening, the process, and the products first before jumping in. I would encourage anyone pursuing the same project to read through the links I’ve included in this write-up as they should give you all the information you need to sound-deaden your car in a comprehensive, easy manner, without having to do the weeks of research I had to do.
Pre-reading:
If you haven’t already, read through this thread for background as this is a solid, comprehensive write-up.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening-my-17-mazda-3-bn.242072/
Materials Needed:
1. Butyl-based mat to apply first as your base layer
I used 72 square feet to do the entire car, including hood, wheel wells, full interior, rear hatch area, and all doors. I did not do the headliner.
Total cost: $200 CAD
I used 1 box of 2mm (80 mil) Kilmat, and 1 box of 2.5mm Amazon branded butyl sheets. I found the Kilmat had better adhesion and was easier to cut and work with, because of the smaller sheet sizes, so I used this for tight spaces and the doors. The Amazon stuff was great to apply to large areas such as the floor of the vehicle, because I would just stick one entire sheet down and be done with it. It’s also slightly cheaper than the Kilmat.
Other brands: Silless, which manufactures the closed cell foam, also makes this stuff for a reasonable price.

2. Closed cell foam as the second layer
I used 100 square feet.
Total cost: $200
I did a LOT of research and shopping around to find the best balance between price, value, and performance of closed cell foam. I ultimately landed on using Siless Liner 157mil (4mm) closed cell foam which I found on Amazon. Noico is also another brand that makes this stuff for slightly more cost. These come in boxes of 51 square feet for about $100. I thus bought two boxes of the stuff. I did end up with leftover product, which I have saved as it can be used to stick on anything else that causes noise such as a furnace, washing machine, etc along with the leftover butyl mat.

3. Rubber-based floor underlay as the final layer
I used a 100 square foot roll of Technoflex Underlayment Acoustic Membrane, 2mm thickness.
Total cost: $85
Product link: https://www.rona.ca/en/product/technofloor-technoflex-underlayment-acoustic-membrane-thermal-insulation-4-ft-x-25-ft-x-008-in-100-sqft-rubber-material-black-m2000-100-73015020
Alternate link: https://technoflexintl.com/en/product/technofloor-acoutstic
Other products I considered, but chose against as the Technoflex is thicker

• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/mono-serra-zito-200-ft2-15-mm-blue-high-density-foam-underlayment-for-vinyl-floors-fm-906-84666069
• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/selitbloc-griptec-subfloor-underlay-pressure-resistent-foam-48-in-w-x-25-ft-l-100-sqft-15-mm-thickness-blue-gold-a64305-05075003

In Canada, you cannot find mass loaded vinyl. My goal was to find something relatively cheap and functional. I went to underlay because it’s sold in bulk and there are many products out there to compare effectiveness. Flooring underlay also has specific requirements in order to carry a particular sound deadening rating. It’s also rubber-based, like vinyl, so I figured I would just double up on layering as I had enough product to do so. I did end up doubling up the layering in most places and had leftover product.
Please note, this product is not adhesive. You lay it down like a blanket and you need to cut it to fit in tight spaces. Thus, I did not use it in vertical areas like the doors. I only used it on the floor and trunk of the vehicle. I am not technically inclined enough to adhere or screw it on the doors, but there are other people in the links on this thread who have done so, so depending on your skill level it is certainly possible.

All Tools Required

1. Socket set with 10mm socket and a Phillips screwdriver. I purchased a full socket set because I did not have one and found one on sale.
2. E-torx socket size 12 to remove the front seats. I just purchased a set of 8 for $20
3. Trim removal tool and plastic clip replacements, approx. $20. Extremely useful!!
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
   • The metal trim removal tool is worth its weight in gold. Trust me, there are a LOT of plastic trim pieces to remove, and this tool makes them very easy to remove properly without breaking anything. All cars nowadays use plastic trim, so it’s a worthwhile purchase if you’re ever going to do work on any future car as well.
   • I purchased the set above because it came with a whole array of trim removal tools as well as a huge variety of replacement plastic trim pieces. I ended up using a couple pieces that broke when I did the doors. The kit has everything you may need for most vehicles, including our Mazdas.
4. Rubber roller, $12. Useful for rolling down the butyl mat and closed cell foam.
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
5. Do yourself a favor and get some gloves. I used my bare hands for about 50% of the time, and they were sore, and had little nicks and cuts all over them by the time I was done. Much easier with gloves.

Skill Level
I have a general interest in cars but the most technical work I’ve ever done are oil changes and tire swaps. This was the largest and most technical project I ever embarked on. I work an office job, so I don’t even work with my hands a lot. If I can do it, so can you (as long as you set aside the time and have the proper tools).

Results
I did not take before-after videos, as that has been captured by videos on Youtube as well as people who have measured the noise levels in the threads below. All I can tell you is that this does work. In my opinion, the project even for a newb like me is totally worth it. For less than $500, and a couple days of work, you can make your Mazda feel like an entirely different vehicle.

Now, sounds and vibrations are barely transmitted going over rough roads. The car feels so much more planted and stable when going over bumps. The audio system sounds better. The doors close with a rich-sounding ‘thunk’. By far the biggest improvement is getting a whole new level of isolation within the car, which makes long trips so much more tolerable and the daily commute so much more relaxing. I would 100% do this again.

The project
Okay, let’s get to the project itself! I’ve broken up each area of the car into separate sections. As the write-ups below are fairly comprehensive, there is no need for me to reinvent the wheel.

Doors
This link contains pictures and instructions, very clearly detailed, on how to do the doors. I did the rear doors first to get used to working with all the materials, then the trunk, then the interior of the car. I would suggest following these instructions.
https://imgur.com/a/2018-mazda-3-sound-deadener-install-vE1o9Hi
Before taking apart your doors, also read through this thread as it contains some more details and information that you will find useful.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/?post_id=1624345&nested_view=1&sortby=oldest#post-1624345
This thread is also good to read as it is very detailed. It is for the previous generation, but the door design has not changed that much compared to our generation.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/cheaply-and-effectively-sound-deadening-your-2010-2013-mazda3.111385/

Wheel arches
Use these links and instructions for the wheel arches
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/page-2
As well as the Imgur gallery from the Doors section for some more pictures.

Trunk
This is the easiest part of the whole project. If you’ve read the threads above, you don’t need any help with this. I did not do the hatch door. I do not think that is worth it, because if your trunk area is well insulated and you have your rear seat up, there’s not a lot of noise that’s going to get through the hatch door.

Interior
This is the part of the project that I had to figure out on my own, so I want to give several tips that will make it easier if you’re doing this.

~1. Removing the interior carpet:~
First vacuum the carpet.
You don't need to remove the entire console to get access to the majority of the floor. To remove the interior carpet, first remove the rear seat, then the front seats, then the interior plastic trim, and finally there are some pieces of Styrofoam in the front wheel wells. You can pull up the carpet for the left side of the vehicle as you work on that side, then tack it all down, and repeat for the right side of the vehicle.

~2. Removing the front seats~
First, disconnect the battery using the 10mm socket. This is recommended by the manufacturer to prevent accidental discharge of the air bags.
If you have the E-torx size 12 socket, removing the seat bolts is a breeze. I zipped them right off. Undo the back bolts, then slide the seat to its rearmost position, then remove the front bolts. Roll the seat onto it’s back to access the harness, undo the harness, then remove the front seat either from the front or rear door. It doesn’t matter.
Go to this site and download the PDF that Anchorman posted. That is all you need to know to remove the front harness. It took me HOURS of searching the web to find a resource this good – there aren’t even any good videos demonstrating what the PDF shows. https://www.cx3forum.com/threads/drivers-seat-removal.17234/
This was both the easiest and hardest thing about the project. Where I got stuck was removing the wiring harness from underneath the seat. Don’t be like me and stick a screwdriver in there, because that can damage the plastic. Instead, simply lift the white tab, press the tab underneath, and the harness comes off nice and easy. The link above with the PDF by Anchorman is what I WISHED I had at the start. I hope this will make it much easier for you.
Don’t be worried about the airbag going off etc. Using the diagram in the PDF, it’s just 1 harness and it comes off super easy and clips back in super easy too. It’s idiot-proof. You won’t have any trouble.

~3. Remove the interior plastic trim~
Again, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aat4kUanm9w to see how to remove the trim and in what order. It’s actually quite easy and easy to reinstall as well. Just remember that the front and rear passenger scuff plates go on last. The other interior trim, does not matter what order you reinstall it.
Another tip, when removing the furthermost front inside trim (i.e the fusebox cover) and its equivalent on the front passenger side, there is a plastic nut securing that trim in place at the very front of it. It’s hard to see in there. Simply reach your hand in there, find the nut, and lefty-loosen it all the way until it comes off. Easy peasy!

~4. Remove the carpet~
You can pull up the carpet one side at a time. I recommend starting with the left side. In one area only, I cut through my carpet in order to remove it on the rear passenger areas, where it is affixed underneath the front seatbelt holder. This is not a problem. It was just easier this way, and because that area gets covered up by plastic trim, it doesn’t matter if you cut through it to make your life easier.
Once the carpet is lifted up, vacuum underneath it to ensure you have a clean surface that your butyl will adhere to.

~5. Do the driver’s side first!~
The front left side of the vehicle floor is the hardest to do because you have to contend with the footrest, reaching underneath the steering wheel, and the gas pedal. I removed the accelerator pedal – it is just held in place by two 10mm nuts, and then an electrical harness that easily clips off. Remove it and set it aside. Then, lift the carpet and remove the Styrofoam. Use a needlenose plyer to help unclip the plastic portion holding the Styrofoam in place. I did not end up reinstalling that plastic piece, as I installed sound deadener where it would have plugged into the floor. No harm.
I suggest doing the driver’s side first because once you’re done that front left area, the rest of the car is super easy. So do this while you’re fresh. Try to cover as much as you can in the front wheel wells, because that is a significant area of incoming road noise. Be systematic about cutting the butyl and closed cell foam in the correct sizes here, as you will have to reinstall the gas pedal, the Styrofoam, and the carpet properly. The good news is that it’s all easy to reinstall. I didn’t have any trouble.
Once you’re done with the driver’s compartment, systemically work your way with large butyl sheets and closed cell foam through the rest of the car floor. There is no need to apply this stuff up where the plastic trim will be reinstalled, on the inside lateral frame of the car – if you do so, it might be more difficult to reinstall the carpet and the plastic trim. Just do the flat bottom floor only, and you can hold the carpet up to access up along the centre console as well. (Keep in mind this is written for someone with my skill level – i.e newb. If you are more advanced and know what you’re doing, then go ahead and put some butyl or CCM in the inside lateral area, the area otherwise covered up with plastic trim).
I did not go for 100% coverage. To do that would take a lot longer. I went for about 90% coverage with the butyl and closed cell foam, and the rubber Technoflex layers covered up pretty well 95% of the area.
When you are laying the material down, ensure not to cover the holes for the seat bolts. If you do by accident, no worries – just use a screwdriver to poke through them, and you can easily still thread the bolt through when you go to reinstall your front seats.
Repeat the same steps on the right side of the vehicle.

~6. Reinstall the plastic trim.~
First reinstall the carpet and ensure all the holes line up. Reinsert the plastic clips into the holes to hold the carpet in place. Then, reinstall the frontmost trim piece, ensuring it clicks into place, and finally screw the plastic nut on. You may need to lift the rubber insert around the door to replace the plastic trim properly – the rubber insert comes off and goes on very easily, it is very forgiving to work with.
Then, install the B pillar trim piece. Then, the inside rear trim piece. Finally, the scuff plates, front and rear.

~7. Reinstall the front seats.~
~8. Reinstall the rear cushion.~
~9. Plug in the battery again.~
You’re done! Go for a rest drive and let the results speak for themselves!

Final thoughts
I did not take pictures because I was too busy installing the stuff and there are plenty of pictures available on the various threads.
I did reach out to many people on the forum and on Reddit who have done this project and from everything that I’ve learned, I believe this should be all you need to know to do this project successfully.
It will take several days so set some time aside. Here are some rough estimates:

• Trunk: 2 hours
• Each door: 2-3 hours (first door will take longer, then each door after gets shorter and shorter)
• Wheel wells: 2 hours
• Inside Hood: 1 hour
• Interior: 9 hours. Set aside a full day for this. You will want to take breaks in between steps. It took me from 10am to 8pm.

I got diagnosed with gastroparesis in 2010. I had a lot going on back then and was able to get it all under control to the point that I just sometimes take over the counter meds if I have symptoms and just control things with diet. Some days are harder than others, but I manage fairly well.
The thing is, they could never give me an answer as to why I had gastroparesis. There was no source. I’m not a diabetic and I didn’t have any sort of surgery or co-morbid disease that caused it. In fact, gastroparesis along with a hiatal hernia, GERD, and H. Pylori was deemed cause of my S.M.A. Syndrome back then. They just didn’t know what caused it and every new doctor I’ve been to (due to insurance changes, etc.) since then thinks they’re going to make some huge discovery and always send for a bunch of tests. They’re convinced I’m diabetic, have some thyroid issue, or celiac. Everything always comes back negative. And then they’re still shocked I still have it after so many years because it should have gone away already—or at least that’s what they say. Some doctors told me it might be hereditary somehow. But no one in my family has gastroparesis or any symptoms like it.
At the urging of my husband, I started going to doctors to get blood tests to keep tabs on my nourishment and established my first primary care doc in years, who also happens to be his doctor. My doctor took the time and interest to listen to my full medical history and investigate what might be wrong. He was the first doctor to figure out I might have a genetic disorder based on my health history.
I swear seeing a doctor make a mind map of all my conditions was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen but also the most humanizing treatment I’ve felt at a doctor’s office. I felt seen and heard. Tell me why it took so long to find a doctor who would put in the effort to connect the dots…
After he sent me off to multiple specialists, I officially got diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder (along with other things due to that 😭).
After doing a lot of research on my own and discussing it with my doctor, there’s a big likelihood it’s Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) but they refuse to diagnose me with that until I have a bigger medical emergency. EDS is just one of many connective tissue disorders. They told me the care is still the same since it’s all in the same umbrella (they’re taking care of my heart now, too). It’s likely that they don’t want to give me the specific diagnosis so I don’t lose insurance. But that’s neither here nor there.
The reason I bring it up is because while doing some research on my new condition I learned other people with connective tissue disorders including EDS have gastroparesis, hernias, tilted uteruses, etc. I have all of that.
I am 34 years old and I am finally learning why I have all the issues I’ve had since I was a small child. Everything is apparently connected to this diagnosis. It sucks but it’s an answer.
I hope this encourages someone to not give up and continue to seek answers to their medical issues.
TL;DR: I got diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder this year and gastroparesis is a common condition for people with it. I no longer have an idiopathic gastroparesis diagnosis.

So it starts as usual I wake up at 4:30 would go for swimming at 5, so when I reached pool it was closed an my parents didn't know this, I had a bike with me and thought maybe I would just roam around with wind hitting my face, I started the bike and went off, a slight fear that if my parents knew that today is off then they would realise bcoz I lied at first place few days ago that the pool is closed every tuesday so that I could complete my sleep. If any of you are from delhi then you'd know that delhi is seperated by yamuna river, now one side has all the govt offices and CP india gate as you know it and other part is basically adjacent to UP, So I live near yamuna sports complex where commonwealth games 2010 were held, now coming back to story, when I started riding on the road it felt very good and I had this plan that came to my mind to utilize the swimming time, I went to Kashmere gate, from there to vidhan sabha, (delhi nct govt parliament) I was kind of scared because I was 30 km away from home now, but forgetting the fear for few minutes, it filled my mind with joy of riding independent, as i am a younger sibling, I was always attended more by my parents and my mother would not allow me tojoin outer state clg because I would have to live in hostel, so riding alone 30 km away from house with no one knowing was big deal for me, just as I was riding I didn't realize that I had crossed the delhi haryana border, and I was now on a national highway so there were no u turn option, now I was scared for sure, when you are alone on a bike riding on a 12 lane highway for the first time it kind of feels abnormal which just can't be defined, I didn't know when will the underpass come so I could make a u turn and travel back, luckily there was one just before murthal, I know it was very stupid of me but it really was thrilling, I set the destiantion as my school on gmaps, and without thinking how far I came, i travelled and when after an hour when I came back in the familiar neighbourhood I felt relieved and satisfied, happy I was too, came back home and father said, i was early today, I said that I came home immediately after swimming, Now I now what I did was wrong I should've told my parents and all but these things are kind of simultaneous and are gonna make good memories looking back in time,

Welcome to the Saturday Mixed Sale!
Please know that all purchases will be verified via proof photo in chat/PM prior to transaction. I will never ask for nor give passwords and I have 2FA enabled on my accounts.
[Will consider trades for 2.5 pesos or Napoleon 10 Francs]
Proof: https://imgur.com/a/z7eaIxR
World Coins:
1/4 Pahlavi (.0589 agw) - $157 https://imgur.com/a/buUbIZK
2021 Niue Owl - $34
Canadian Cents (174) - $25 https://imgur.com/a/NN1cd2I
Slabs: https://imgur.com/a/WAq7YSI
1919 S 5C - $5
1962 D 1C - $12
1897 5C - $7
Cull/Toned ASE’s (2013-2, 2000) - Take all (3) for $95 shipped!
Roll of Rosie’s - $116
Wheaties: https://imgur.com/a/tcs6vGM
Roll of 50 (All 1930’s) - $9
Better Date Flips - Prices on flips in link. Did my best pricing these. If I’m off on any please let me know and I’m sure we can work out a deal.
Proof & UNC Sets:
1985-1992 - $6 each
1994-1998 - $6 each
1999 D & P UNC - $6 for both
2000-2003 (No Quarters!) - $3 each
2006-2007 (No Quarters!) - $3 each
2008 (No Quarters or Dollars!) - $3
2009 (No Quarters, Dollars or Cents!) - $2.50
2010-2016 (No Quarters or Dollars!) -$3 each
2015 Complete Proof Set - $30
2017 (No Quarters!) - $4
Shipping Note: Below pricing is for most of the above. If more than 3 proof sets are bought we can work out best priced shipping in chat.
Please add $6 for USPS Ground Advantage or $9 for Flat Rate.
If better pics/descriptions needed feel free to reach out in chat.
All items will be packaged secure. Items in capsules will ship with them. Once hand delivered to the post office and scanned my responsibility ends. I accept Venmo and PayPal f/f or add 4% for g/s. Reasonable offers and bundle deals welcome! Worst I can do is counter. Thanks for looking!

In today’s evolving and competitive landscape, the value of innovation is shifting from the traditional closed systems approach to a more open, decentralized, and community-driven approach. Paul Lalovich and Tesha Teshanovich from Agile Dynamics outline what is driving the trend, its implications for organizations, and how leaders can successfully operate at the forefront of the shift.
Innovation transcends the mere conceptualization of fresh ideas; it is the actionable process of enhancing existing products or conjuring entirely new offerings. While there is a strong correlation between R&D and innovation – with the former serving as a wellspring for pioneering thoughts – the journey from groundbreaking research to practical utility can be intricate and protracted.
However, it’s worth noting that innovation isn't solely tethered to structured R&D. It can spontaneously arise from sheer curiosity, a spark of inspiration, or even the simple act of refining or tweaking existing methodologies.
Firms might invest in R&D to catalyze innovation, but they can also harness external advancements – referred to as ‘spillovers’. After all, groundbreaking knowledge isn't always the exclusive domain of its creators, making external inspirations invaluable.
Emerging from a robust foundation of innovation, soft power presents tangible advantages. Leaders in technology often establish benchmarks that others deem beneficial to adopt. As a result, global standards lean favorably toward those pioneers. Moreover, countries recognized for their innovative acumen become prime territories for patent filings. These innovation hubs magnetize not just domestic but international investments and capital.
Perhaps the most profound testament to their soft power is the allure they hold for top-tier talents. For instance, Silicon Valley has evolved into a global nexus, drawing in exceptional minds from the realms of information, communication, and digital technologies. Such concentrations of talent can significantly influence a nation’s trade dynamics.

Tech monopolies slow down innovation

In the arena of global economic dominance, competition emerges as the cornerstone, propelling nations to the forefront of innovation and growth. While Chinese strategies appear to have adapted, embracing the dynamism of competitive markets, the United States stands at a crossroads. Some of its tech behemoths promote their size and market leadership as pivotal for cutting-edge innovation.
Yet, it is crucial to discern the nature of this innovation and whose interests it truly serves. Does it prioritize shareholder returns, or is there a broader, national interest at play? As smaller, agile firms emerge, emphasizing true boundary-pushing innovation, one must ponder: Is the spirit of unbridled competition – a force that once fueled the American economy – being overshadowed by the looming giants?
In the nuanced interplay between governmental oversight and market forces, recent actions within China's technology sector provide a captivating study of regulatory boundaries. This phenomenon, aptly termed ‘de-tycoonification’, captures a deliberate effort to harmonize enterprise innovation with centralized checks.
A leading digital commerce platform in China encountered regulatory attention. The swift determination that its practices were anti-competitive, accompanied by a significant financial penalty, symbolizes a broader intent to redefine market paradigms. Prompt official communique following these events conveys a clear perspective: monopolistic behaviours can inhibit the holistic evolution of a market-based economy.
This stance also emphasizes that thoughtful regulations, rather than restricting growth, might actually serve as pillars to stabilize and nurture it. The regulatory web further ensnared another major digital entity in China, underscoring the principle that technological ingenuity should operate within established ethical and legal frameworks. Such internal checks within China challenge certain dominant narratives in global tech centres.
The notion that maintaining a robust market stature acts as a shield against global tech adversaries comes under scrutiny. The introspective regulatory steps within China necessitate a broader re-evaluation of such assumptions.
The tech landscape today is unmistakably marked by the towering presence of Big Tech, but what underlies this dominance might point towards a concerning reduction in competitive intensity. For two decades, the profits raked in by American tech behemoths have remained unparalleled, with market valuations suggesting this trend is expected to continue, if not amplify, in the coming years.
Such sustained, sky-high profitability isn't typical in a genuinely competitive market. In such a setting, rivals and newcomers usually exert downward pressures, ensuring no single entity retains an overwhelming edge for extended periods. The tech industry's trajectory further points towards a rising penchant for consolidation. This is evidenced by the substantial acquisitions of budding companies by the tech titans.
Data sourced from Mergermarket underscores an uptick in acquisition activity by these colossal tech firms, particularly post-2010. The symbiotic relationship between persistent high profits and a trend toward industry concentration suggests that the tech market might be veering away from the vibrant competitive arena it once was.

Cardwell’s law

The tech landscape’s evolution, in its relationship with innovation, is witnessing a palpable shift in entrepreneurial motivation and vision. Historically, the fervour of pioneering something transformative, encapsulated in the ‘moonshot thinking’, drove entrepreneurs. This audacious spirit envisioned groundbreaking entities akin to the tech luminaries of the late 20th and early 21st century. Yet, today’s entrepreneurial aspirations seem more tempered.
Instead of fostering ambitions of building the next revolutionary tech empire, there’s a growing inclination towards securing an acquisition by an existing tech colossus. This shift in sentiment dims the likelihood of a new tech juggernaut rising to challenge the incumbent titans. Post the era of computer-centric, web-driven, and smartphone-related innovations, a cloud of uncertainty looms over the emergence of new tech powerhouses.
Notably, the promising technological domains of the upcoming decade – be it autonomous vehicles with their exorbitant R&D costs, virtual or augmented reality's significant development expenditures, the data intensity of artificial intelligence, or drones and the Internet of Things with their challenging profit margins – present formidable entry barriers.
These hurdles, combined with a changing entrepreneurial landscape, cast a shadow on the future dynamism of tech innovation. Cardwell's elucidation on the patterns of technological evolution offers a poignant lens through which to view the current landscape dominated by Big Tech.
Donald Stephen Lowell Cardwell’s seminal work from 1972 suggests that technological vigor within societies is not an enduring flame, but a fleeting burst of brilliance. Within the European context, as one nation's innovative energy began to wane, another would rise, ensuring a consistent relay of progress across the continent.
Visualize this relay of innovation as a torch, brilliant yet intense. Historically, regions such as Northern Italy, Southern Germany, Spain, and Portugal, and later Holland, Britain, the United States, and Germany, took turns in holding this torch, leading the march of innovation. Yet, no single society clung to this leadership for extended durations. The relay ensured that as one nation's innovation diminished, another took up the mantle, propelling the collective forward.
This phenomenon, coined as ‘Cardwell’s Law’ by Joel Mokyr, posits that when left in isolation, a society’s technological creativity is but a brief spark. Over time, conservatism’s stifling grip, intent on preserving existing structures of power and privilege, often curtails this innovative drive.
This is where the analogy becomes particularly relevant for the Big Tech landscape. In today’s digital age, a few colossal entities dominate, much like the leading nations of old Europe. Yet, as these tech giants solidify their positions, they risk becoming victims of the very conservatism Mokyr speaks of.
Instead of being conduits for continual innovation, their sheer dominance and entrenched positions could lead to a stagnation in technological creativity. As they grow in size and influence, there is an increasing tendency to preserve the status quo, which inadvertently suppresses the innovative spark found in smaller, more agile entities.

Decentralization and open innovation

In the contemporary milieu characterized by the overwhelming dominance of Big Tech monopolies, the paradigms of decentralized innovation and open innovation emerge as potentially transformative alternatives.
The concept of distributed strategy borrows from nature, suggesting that in the same manner that organisms such as trees maximize their efficiency by creating multiple self-similar structures like leaves instead of solely relying on a single core trunk, businesses too need to shift their focus from purely scaling their core processes to nurturing multiple iterative strategies at the organizational peripheries. This can be encapsulated in the mantra of ‘Think Local, Act Global’.
In essence, companies must attune to the nuanced demands and opportunities of each local market, while simultaneously integrating these learnings into a broader global strategy. This is particularly evident in industries undergoing rapid transformation; for instance, the automotive industry's evolution from merely selling cars to offering comprehensive mobility solutions, a shift that is predicted to significantly alter its revenue structure by 2035.
In parallel, in our data-driven age, there is an increasing realization that the sheer volume of data is less crucial than its meaningful interpretation. Organizations need to pivot from prioritizing data accumulation to developing advanced algorithms capable of drawing insights from fragmented, patchy datasets. In the rapidly shifting landscape of today's global business environment, numerous established multinational corporations find themselves at a perplexing crossroads.
The crux of their predicament stems from a foundational dilemma: how to juxtapose traditional scale-driven strategies with the emergent imperative of Distributed strategies. To dissect this conundrum, one must appreciate the inherently divergent organizational philosophies underpinning scale and distributed strategies. Transitioning from a scale-centric model to a distributed-oriented one is not merely about implementing a series of organizational modifications, no matter how profound.
The shift demands a comprehensive reimagining of the organizational ethos and operational mechanics. Moreover, it is a fallacy to view these strategies as mutually exclusive. In actuality, they exist on a continuum, each holding its unique value. The challenge for modern enterprises lies in striking an optimal balance between harnessing the benefits of scale and the agility of Distributed strategies. Regrettably, the journey to this equilibrium is riddled with pitfalls, and many companies, even with their vast resources and global reach, have faltered in this endeavor.
Contrary to scale-centric entities that depend on static assets, with streamlined yet inherently slower supply chains, Distributed organizations harness networks characterized by adaptability and continuous transformation. These networks are primed for swiftly addressing specific local requirements and seizing niche market prospects.
Such frameworks incorporate a blend of proprietary micro-production facilities, possibly utilizing innovations like 3D printing; leasing assets from providers offering asset-on-demand services; and coordinating flexible ecosystems of regional digital collaborators. The overarching aim is twofold: continuously devise innovative solutions tailored for local clientele and escalate them to various markets with optimal speed.
Distributed-oriented organizations prioritize decentralization, contrasting with the top-down hierarchies commonly seen in scale-driven entities. Within these structures, decision-making isn't confined to a centralized corporate core. Instead, considerable authority is delegated to customer-centric teams positioned away from the primary headquarters. This design fosters agility, allowing for a rapid response to localized demands and new opportunities.
Some multinational corporations have observed marked improvements in their performance metrics after such decentralization. They empowered regional leaders with financial oversight, decision-making rights, streamlined communication channels to the central office, and enhanced access to market analytics.
Another trend, seen in the case of an appliance industry giant, involves an even more radical shift. This entity introduced a unique organizational framework aimed at minimizing the distance between the enterprise and its customer base. In a bold move, an entire level of middle management was eliminated, redistributing power to numerous newly-formed, semi-independent, customer-aligned business segments. These units operate in synergy, linked by a unified digital platform.
Further reading: Knowledge and venture capital as a driver of innovation.
Meanwhile, ‘Open Innovation’ offers a complementary model, championing a departure from insular corporate research and development approaches. Instead, it advocates for the amalgamation of external insights, be they from academia, startups, or independent innovators, into the innovation process. This synergistic approach addresses the often-criticized inertia inherent in large tech monopolies, promoting a more dynamic and collaborative innovation ecosystem.
Both these paradigms, however, necessitate a significant cultural shift within organizations, demanding a more flexible, adaptive, and outward-looking ethos to truly harness their potential in countering the inertia often associated with tech giants.
The rise of open innovation, propelled by reduced communication costs and advancements in memory and computation capabilities, has ushered in significant changes in market dynamics and societal interactions. Unlike the traditionally centralized, firm-driven innovation models, open innovation champions a decentralized, peer-based approach that emphasizes intrinsic motivation and societal benefits.
Indeed, the literature has delved into the nature of these peer innovation communities, understanding their social structures and intricacies.
However, the repercussions of this shift towards open innovation on established and emerging firms remain inadequately explored. Current organizational and strategic theories don't fully encapsulate the nuances of community-driven innovation. Despite the transformative potential of open innovation, its influence on mainstream organizational and strategic discourses has been somewhat muted.
As we progress, it becomes imperative to develop a more comprehensive understanding of firms in this new context, addressing the interaction between traditional organizational structures and emerging community-based innovation paradigms.

Conclusion

In an evolving landscape where tasks are increasingly modular and knowledge about solutions becomes more widespread, the traditional closed systems of innovation shift towards open, community-driven models. The implications are profound: we can no longer rely solely on conventional understandings of innovation rooted in cost efficiency, control mechanisms, and external incentives.
As innovation gets embedded in a spectrum ranging from strictly internal processes to open community collaborations, our conceptualization of firms and their boundaries need revisiting. This doesn’t negate the value of traditional models, but it requires a hybrid approach where both internal and open strategies coexist.
A pivotal question arises: under what circumstances should firms toggle between these different modes of innovation? The answer, it appears, lies in understanding the nature of the product and the distribution of problem-solving knowledge.
For products that are inherently integrated and where specialized knowledge is centralized, the conventional in-house R&D model, bolstered by a strong innovation-centric culture, remains relevant. Here, innovation is typically cocooned within the firm's boundaries, spanning from distinct functional divisions to intricate, ambidextrous designs.
However, when a product can be broken down into modular components and the requisite knowledge is dispersed, the limitations of a closed innovation system become evident. In these contexts, the power dynamics of innovation are reshaped by the principles of openness, collaborative sharing, intrinsic motivation, and community engagement.
The challenge, then, for modern enterprises is to discern when to internalize and when to externalize, ensuring that they harness the best of both worlds while navigating the complex terrain of innovation.In today’s evolving and competitive landscape, the value of innovation is shifting from the traditional closed systems approach to a more open, decentralized, and community-driven approach. Paul Lalovich and Tesha Teshanovich from Agile Dynamics outline what is driving the trend, its implications for organizations, and how leaders can successfully operate at the forefront of the shift. Innovation transcends the mere conceptualization of fresh ideas; it is the actionable process of enhancing existing products or conjuring entirely new offerings. While there is a strong correlation between R&D and innovation – with the former serving as a wellspring for pioneering thoughts – the journey from groundbreaking research to practical utility can be intricate and protracted. However, it’s worth noting that innovation isn't solely tethered to structured R&D. It can spontaneously arise from sheer curiosity, a spark of inspiration, or even the simple act of refining or tweaking existing methodologies.
Firms might invest in R&D to catalyze innovation, but they can also harness external advancements – referred to as ‘spillovers’. After all, groundbreaking knowledge isn't always the exclusive domain of its creators, making external inspirations invaluable. Emerging from a robust foundation of innovation, soft power presents tangible advantages. Leaders in technology often establish benchmarks that others deem beneficial to adopt. As a result, global standards lean favorably toward those pioneers. Moreover, countries recognized for their innovative acumen become prime territories for patent filings. These innovation hubs magnetize not just domestic but international investments and capital. Perhaps the most profound testament to their soft power is the allure they hold for top-tier talents. For instance, Silicon Valley has evolved into a global nexus, drawing in exceptional minds from the realms of information, communication, and digital technologies. Such concentrations of talent can significantly influence a nation’s trade dynamics. Tech monopolies slow down innovation In the arena of global economic dominance, competition emerges as the cornerstone, propelling nations to the forefront of innovation and growth. While Chinese strategies appear to have adapted, embracing the dynamism of competitive markets, the United States stands at a crossroads. Some of its tech behemoths promote their size and market leadership as pivotal for cutting-edge innovation. Yet, it is crucial to discern the nature of this innovation and whose interests it truly serves. Does it prioritize shareholder returns, or is there a broader, national interest at play? As smaller, agile firms emerge, emphasizing true boundary-pushing innovation, one must ponder: Is the spirit of unbridled competition – a force that once fueled the American economy – being overshadowed by the looming giants? In the nuanced interplay between governmental oversight and market forces, recent actions within China's technology sector provide a captivating study of regulatory boundaries. This phenomenon, aptly termed ‘de-tycoonification’, captures a deliberate effort to harmonize enterprise innovation with centralized checks. A leading digital commerce platform in China encountered regulatory attention. The swift determination that its practices were anti-competitive, accompanied by a significant financial penalty, symbolizes a broader intent to redefine market paradigms. Prompt official communique following these events conveys a clear perspective: monopolistic behaviours can inhibit the holistic evolution of a market-based economy. This stance also emphasizes that thoughtful regulations, rather than restricting growth, might actually serve as pillars to stabilize and nurture it. The regulatory web further ensnared another major digital entity in China, underscoring the principle that technological ingenuity should operate within established ethical and legal frameworks. Such internal checks within China challenge certain dominant narratives in global tech centres. The notion that maintaining a robust market stature acts as a shield against global tech adversaries comes under scrutiny. The introspective regulatory steps within China necessitate a broader re-evaluation of such assumptions. The tech landscape today is unmistakably marked by the towering presence of Big Tech, but what underlies this dominance might point towards a concerning reduction in competitive intensity. For two decades, the profits raked in by American tech behemoths have remained unparalleled, with market valuations suggesting this trend is expected to continue, if not amplify, in the coming years. Such sustained, sky-high profitability isn't typical in a genuinely competitive market. In such a setting, rivals and newcomers usually exert downward pressures, ensuring no single entity retains an overwhelming edge for extended periods. The tech industry's trajectory further points towards a rising penchant for consolidation. This is evidenced by the substantial acquisitions of budding companies by the tech titans. Data sourced from Mergermarket underscores an uptick in acquisition activity by these colossal tech firms, particularly post-2010. The symbiotic relationship between persistent high profits and a trend toward industry concentration suggests that the tech market might be veering away from the vibrant competitive arena it once was. Cardwell’s law The tech landscape’s evolution, in its relationship with innovation, is witnessing a palpable shift in entrepreneurial motivation and vision. Historically, the fervour of pioneering something transformative, encapsulated in the ‘moonshot thinking’, drove entrepreneurs. This audacious spirit envisioned groundbreaking entities akin to the tech luminaries of the late 20th and early 21st century. Yet, today’s entrepreneurial aspirations seem more tempered. Instead of fostering ambitions of building the next revolutionary tech empire, there’s a growing inclination towards securing an acquisition by an existing tech colossus. This shift in sentiment dims the likelihood of a new tech juggernaut rising to challenge the incumbent titans. Post the era of computer-centric, web-driven, and smartphone-related innovations, a cloud of uncertainty looms over the emergence of new tech powerhouses. Notably, the promising technological domains of the upcoming decade – be it autonomous vehicles with their exorbitant R&D costs, virtual or augmented reality's significant development expenditures, the data intensity of artificial intelligence, or drones and the Internet of Things with their challenging profit margins – present formidable entry barriers. These hurdles, combined with a changing entrepreneurial landscape, cast a shadow on the future dynamism of tech innovation. Cardwell's elucidation on the patterns of technological evolution offers a poignant lens through which to view the current landscape dominated by Big Tech. Donald Stephen Lowell Cardwell’s seminal work from 1972 suggests that technological vigor within societies is not an enduring flame, but a fleeting burst of brilliance. Within the European context, as one nation's innovative energy began to wane, another would rise, ensuring a consistent relay of progress across the continent. Visualize this relay of innovation as a torch, brilliant yet intense. Historically, regions such as Northern Italy, Southern Germany, Spain, and Portugal, and later Holland, Britain, the United States, and Germany, took turns in holding this torch, leading the march of innovation. Yet, no single society clung to this leadership for extended durations. The relay ensured that as one nation's innovation diminished, another took up the mantle, propelling the collective forward. This phenomenon, coined as ‘Cardwell’s Law’ by Joel Mokyr, posits that when left in isolation, a society’s technological creativity is but a brief spark. Over time, conservatism’s stifling grip, intent on preserving existing structures of power and privilege, often curtails this innovative drive. This is where the analogy becomes particularly relevant for the Big Tech landscape. In today’s digital age, a few colossal entities dominate, much like the leading nations of old Europe. Yet, as these tech giants solidify their positions, they risk becoming victims of the very conservatism Mokyr speaks of. Instead of being conduits for continual innovation, their sheer dominance and entrenched positions could lead to a stagnation in technological creativity. As they grow in size and influence, there is an increasing tendency to preserve the status quo, which inadvertently suppresses the innovative spark found in smaller, more agile entities. Decentralization and open innovation In the contemporary milieu characterized by the overwhelming dominance of Big Tech monopolies, the paradigms of decentralized innovation and open innovation emerge as potentially transformative alternatives. The concept of distributed strategy borrows from nature, suggesting that in the same manner that organisms such as trees maximize their efficiency by creating multiple self-similar structures like leaves instead of solely relying on a single core trunk, businesses too need to shift their focus from purely scaling their core processes to nurturing multiple iterative strategies at the organizational peripheries. This can be encapsulated in the mantra of ‘Think Local, Act Global’. In essence, companies must attune to the nuanced demands and opportunities of each local market, while simultaneously integrating these learnings into a broader global strategy. This is particularly evident in industries undergoing rapid transformation; for instance, the automotive industry's evolution from merely selling cars to offering comprehensive mobility solutions, a shift that is predicted to significantly alter its revenue structure by 2035. In parallel, in our data-driven age, there is an increasing realization that the sheer volume of data is less crucial than its meaningful interpretation. Organizations need to pivot from prioritizing data accumulation to developing advanced algorithms capable of drawing insights from fragmented, patchy datasets. In the rapidly shifting landscape of today's global business environment, numerous established multinational corporations find themselves at a perplexing crossroads. The crux of their predicament stems from a foundational dilemma: how to juxtapose traditional scale-driven strategies with the emergent imperative of Distributed strategies. To dissect this conundrum, one must appreciate the inherently divergent organizational philosophies underpinning scale and distributed strategies. Transitioning from a scale-centric model to a distributed-oriented one is not merely about implementing a series of organizational modifications, no matter how profound. The shift demands a comprehensive reimagining of the organizational ethos and operational mechanics. Moreover, it is a fallacy to view these strategies as mutually exclusive. In actuality, they exist on a continuum, each holding its unique value. The challenge for modern enterprises lies in striking an optimal balance between harnessing the benefits of scale and the agility of Distributed strategies. Regrettably, the journey to this equilibrium is riddled with pitfalls, and many companies, even with their vast resources and global reach, have faltered in this endeavor. Contrary to scale-centric entities that depend on static assets, with streamlined yet inherently slower supply chains, Distributed organizations harness networks characterized by adaptability and continuous transformation. These networks are primed for swiftly addressing specific local requirements and seizing niche market prospects. Such frameworks incorporate a blend of proprietary micro-production facilities, possibly utilizing innovations like 3D printing; leasing assets from providers offering asset-on-demand services; and coordinating flexible ecosystems of regional digital collaborators. The overarching aim is twofold: continuously devise innovative solutions tailored for local clientele and escalate them to various markets with optimal speed. Distributed-oriented organizations prioritize decentralization, contrasting with the top-down hierarchies commonly seen in scale-driven entities. Within these structures, decision-making isn't confined to a centralized corporate core. Instead, considerable authority is delegated to customer-centric teams positioned away from the primary headquarters. This design fosters agility, allowing for a rapid response to localized demands and new opportunities. Some multinational corporations have observed marked improvements in their performance metrics after such decentralization. They empowered regional leaders with financial oversight, decision-making rights, streamlined communication channels to the central office, and enhanced access to market analytics. Another trend, seen in the case of an appliance industry giant, involves an even more radical shift. This entity introduced a unique organizational framework aimed at minimizing the distance between the enterprise and its customer base. In a bold move, an entire level of middle management was eliminated, redistributing power to numerous newly-formed, semi-independent, customer-aligned business segments. These units operate in synergy, linked by a unified digital platform. Further reading: Knowledge and venture capital as a driver of innovation. Meanwhile, ‘Open Innovation’ offers a complementary model, championing a departure from insular corporate research and development approaches. Instead, it advocates for the amalgamation of external insights, be they from academia, startups, or independent innovators, into the innovation process. This synergistic approach addresses the often-criticized inertia inherent in large tech monopolies, promoting a more dynamic and collaborative innovation ecosystem. Both these paradigms, however, necessitate a significant cultural shift within organizations, demanding a more flexible, adaptive, and outward-looking ethos to truly harness their potential in countering the inertia often associated with tech giants. The rise of open innovation, propelled by reduced communication costs and advancements in memory and computation capabilities, has ushered in significant changes in market dynamics and societal interactions. Unlike the traditionally centralized, firm-driven innovation models, open innovation champions a decentralized, peer-based approach that emphasizes intrinsic motivation and societal benefits. Indeed, the literature has delved into the nature of these peer innovation communities, understanding their social structures and intricacies. However, the repercussions of this shift towards open innovation on established and emerging firms remain inadequately explored. Current organizational and strategic theories don't fully encapsulate the nuances of community-driven innovation. Despite the transformative potential of open innovation, its influence on mainstream organizational and strategic discourses has been somewhat muted. As we progress, it becomes imperative to develop a more comprehensive understanding of firms in this new context, addressing the interaction between traditional organizational structures and emerging community-based innovation paradigms. Conclusion In an evolving landscape where tasks are increasingly modular and knowledge about solutions becomes more widespread, the traditional closed systems of innovation shift towards open, community-driven models. The implications are profound: we can no longer rely solely on conventional understandings of innovation rooted in cost efficiency, control mechanisms, and external incentives. As innovation gets embedded in a spectrum ranging from strictly internal processes to open community collaborations, our conceptualization of firms and their boundaries need revisiting. This doesn’t negate the value of traditional models, but it requires a hybrid approach where both internal and open strategies coexist. A pivotal question arises: under what circumstances should firms toggle between these different modes of innovation? The answer, it appears, lies in understanding the nature of the product and the distribution of problem-solving knowledge. For products that are inherently integrated and where specialized knowledge is centralized, the conventional in-house R&D model, bolstered by a strong innovation-centric culture, remains relevant. Here, innovation is typically cocooned within the firm's boundaries, spanning from distinct functional divisions to intricate, ambidextrous designs. However, when a product can be broken down into modular components and the requisite knowledge is dispersed, the limitations of a closed innovation system become evident. In these contexts, the power dynamics of innovation are reshaped by the principles of openness, collaborative sharing, intrinsic motivation, and community engagement. The challenge, then, for modern enterprises is to discern when to internalize and when to externalize, ensuring that they harness the best of both worlds while navigating the complex terrain of innovation.

Hi, I've been looking all over for a hidden object game that I've played maybe around 2010. I think it was a browser game but I'm not 100% sure, I played it for free though. It wasn't on Steam or anything like that.
I think it was modernish setting where I was a police officer (I think a woman) investigating a crime scene. It was in a forest at midnight, everything was kinda blue. I think there was an injured werewolf in it, and he was looking for some kind of gem? I don't remember the plot but I know that I could return to the crime scene again at some point. I don't think there were that many side games, there were some additional puzzles, but I don't think there was like connect-three games and such. (I might be wrong though!)
From what I've looked at, the hidden objects screens art style looked very similar to classic Big Fish games. As you can imagine, I don't even know where to start, so I'm hoping someone can recall the title.
Not sure if it was the same game, but I also remember some kind of castle-like setting with cauldrons with green stuff, some portals and symbols. Very vague, I know and I'm sorry. (If it's a separate game, I'd love to know the name also lol)
Thank you!

I remember watching this video in like 2009-2010 where a guy tries to flush the toilet but it doesn't work, then, he tries to fix it but instead ends up breaking the shut off valve. He tries his best to block the leak, but the bathroom starts to flood. I distinctively remember the water was yellowish, and the bathroom looked like it was in an office setting. I tried searching for this video but I just can't find it!!!

I’m looking for a fic I read on AO3 and I didn’t bookmark it and I can’t remember the name. I searched through my history with no luck. I wonder if the author deleted it 🥺
Here are all the details I can immediately recall:
Hermione is the minister and she uses her political power to set Draco free when he expects to get the kiss, but he has to live as a muggle and of course doesn’t have a wand.
Draco meets a muggle guy at a bar and ends up becoming flatmates with him and another guy.
Draco sits with an old lady who has Alzheimer’s and periodically thinks Draco is her husband. He plays along when it happens
Hermione ends up having sex with the roommate of Draco’s that he had met in the bar and she ends up obliviating herself from his memory.
There’s a new threat and Hermione asks Draco to infiltrate the group and she gives him an insane black market wand. He does as she asks but she doesn’t hear from him for months. He killed the leader and polyjuiced as him almost the entire time he was away. He brings them to the ministry during a gala or something like that and Draco kills all the followers.
Draco has what appears to be mental issues, but it’s something darker than that. Kind of like dementors, but not that… they follow him around and it doesn’t bode well for his mental state.
Draco finds a 3 year old a boy named Leo by the lions at the zoo that had been abandoned. Hermione had gone to the bathroom and Draco is asking what his mother looks like and when he sees Hermione, he points to her.
Draco performs magic in front of Leo. Like making a 3 story slide and tent type thing.
Draco loves Leo and Hermione can’t bond with the little boy. Hermione goes into the boy’s memories and he was neglected and the mother was on drugs and the father was abusive to the mom (I think) and the mom ends up killing the dad and she’s the one who took Leo to the zoo and left him there. Draco is extremely protective of Leo.
Ron is NOT a good person and ends up with the R word carved into his forehead by Draco with the wand Hermione had given him after he does something horrible to her while Draco was out walking with Leo and comes back when it’s happening.
Harry and Ron are both Aurors and Ron is suspended after what happens.
Draco ends up wiping the boy’s memory of all magic and him and Hermione and calls to have the boy picked up and placed with a loving family. He did it for Hermione, but she thought he wiped out the painful things the boy experienced, which she knows will make him into who he is supposed to be, just like all of it made Draco into who he was.
The old lady that Draco sits with is actually a witch (a Hufflepuff I think and her husband was pretty much how Draco was to Hermione at Hogwarts) and she knows what’s actually wrong with Draco and she has to do some memory magic to help get rid of them and she accidentally completely wipes Hermione out of his mind in the process.
Hermione is pregnant and for some reason Draco goes to the hospital I think the old lady told him to go and talks to Ron outside after being inside and asks who Hermione had been with or something like that… and at some point Ron lifts up his hair that he grew out to cover what Draco carved into his forehead and told him that he was the one who did that.
The ending is in Hermione’s minister office and her secretary is a muggle and she says she tried to keep them from coming in just as Draco and their children come running in to Hermione’s office.
I hope that’s enough to help it be recognized! I think it was from like 2010-2015…

Sorry if this sounds selfish but this is really only a one time thing for a friend. I need someone to use there undetectable AI account to paraphrase this please.
IntroductionThe rise of fast food chains in the United States from 2000 to 2010 had an impact on both the culture and economy. This period saw an increase in obesity rates among Americans, which coincided with the growth of these eateries. In this essay we delve into the connection between the expansion of fast food franchises and the obesity epidemic examining factors that influence health. Through an analysis of data, health studies and relevant literature our goal is to provide an understanding of how consuming food has played a role in fueling obesity during this particular decade, in America.The Growth of Fast Food Chains
Between 2000 and 2010 there was a rise in the fast food industry. Popular chains such as McDonalds, Burger King and Subway expanded their reach by opening stores to meet the demand for budget friendly meals. Data from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that the number of fast food eateries increased by around 20% during this timeframe (U.S. Census Bureau, 2011). This expansion made fast food more convenient for a range of people, including kids and teenagers.
Obesity Trends in the U.S. (2000 2010)
The prevalence of obesity in America has been on a trajectory during the early years of the 21st century. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) the rate of obesity among adults rose from 30.5% in 2000 to 35.7% in 2010 (CDC, 2011). Similarly among children and teens aged between 2 and 19 years old obesity rates increased from 13.9% to 16.9% over that period. This continuous increase signals a concerning public health issue with impacts on illness rates, mortality rates and healthcare expenses.
The Impact of Fast Food, on Eating Habits
food is commonly known for its levels of calories, excessive saturated fats, sugars and sodium with little nutritional value. These aspects of food are closely associated with weight gain and obesity. Studies show that regular consumption of food is linked to consuming calories and maintaining poor eating habits (Bowman & Vineyard 2004). Research conducted by Pereira et al. (2005) revealed that individuals who ate food than twice a week were more likely to gain weight and develop insulin resistance compared to those who consumed it less frequently.
Influence of Socioeconomic Factors
The easy availability and affordability of food make it an attractive option for people with incomes. Fast food establishments are often concentrated in low income areas where residents have limited access to dining choices (Powell et al. 2007). This situation, referred to as "food deserts " , worsens the issue of obesity because disadvantaged groups tend to rely on food as their main source of nutrition.
Impact of Advertising and Promotion
The aggressive advertising tactics used by fast food companies also have a significant influence on eating behaviors particularly among young individuals, like children and teenagers.
Many businesses invest sums of money each year in marketing showcasing their products across platforms, like TV, the web and social networks. Kids are especially influenced by these strategies that highlight the appeal and ease of food reinforcing harmful dietary patterns early on.
The impact of obesity, on health is significant and variedObesity is a factor in chronic illnesses like type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke and certain cancers (Flegal et al., 2012). The rise in obesity rates has led to an increase in health issues putting a strain on the healthcare system. The financial implications of obesity are also noteworthy with studies indicating that medical costs linked to obesity made up around 10% of healthcare expenses in the United States during that time (Cawley & Meyerhoefer 2012).
Policies and public health effortsIn response to the escalating obesity crisis, different policies and public health efforts have been put into action at state and local levels. These initiatives aim to encourage eating habits through measures like food labeling requirements, restrictions on advertising foods to children and campaigns raising awareness about the risks of obesity (Koplan et al., 2007). Schools have been a point for intervention well, with endeavors to enhance the nutritional value of school meals and boost physical activity among students.ExamplesVarious real life examples and stories showcase the effectiveness of taking action to address the issue of obesity. For example, New York City put in place a set of strategies to combat obesity, such as displaying calorie information on menus and prohibiting trans fats in restaurant dishes. These initiatives led to improvements in people's eating habits and a slight decrease in obesity levels, within the community (Dumanovsky et al. 2011).ChallengesThe obesity epidemic still poses challenges despite the efforts to address it. Unhealthy eating habits deeply ingrained in society, the presence of the fast food industry and disparities in status all add layers of complexity to this issue. Moving forward it is crucial to focus on creating an environment that encourages choices for vulnerable communities. This entails advocating for policies that restrict the marketing of foods to children, enhancing access to options in low income areas and urging food companies to improve the health profile of their products.
Psychological marketingWhen it comes to food marketing companies go beyond advertising tactics by leveraging deep rooted psychological triggers that influence consumer behavior. Bright colors, catchy tunes and recognizable mascots are commonly used in food ads to build a memorable brand image. This technique is particularly effective with audiences like children and teenagers who're more susceptible and likely to develop lasting brand loyalties. Research indicates that exposure to these advertisements can lead children to prefer calorie, nutrient foods ultimately impacting their dietary decisions and contributing to weight gain (Boyland & Halford 2013).The impact of portion sizes
One overlooked but significant factor contributing to the obesity crisis is the increasing sizes of portions served by food chains. Over time portion sizes have substantially grown, with meals exceeding the recommended calorie intake for a single meal. Young and Nestles (2002) study reveals that fast food item portions have expanded over the years with some items now more than double their size. This phenomenon of "portion distortion" results in calorie consumption as individuals tend to eat when faced with larger servings often underestimating the actual caloric content.
Changes in lifestyle and time constraints
The contemporary way of life characterized by schedules and time limitations has also played a role in the heightened dependence on fast food. With an increase in dual income households and longer work hours many people find themselves lacking the time to cook meals. Fast food emerges as a solution offering cost effective options that align with busy routines. Nonetheless this convenience comes at a price as frequent consumption of food is linked to dietary patterns and increased calorie intake contributing to the surge in obesity rates (Smith, Ng & Popkin 2013).Another significant measure involves restricting the promotion of foods to children. By reducing kids exposure to food ads policymakers aim to lessen the impact of marketing on their eating habits. Some cities have also imposed taxes on beverages and unhealthy foods in an effort to discourage consumption through penalties. While the effectiveness of these strategies may vary they mark progress in combating the obesity crisis.
Approaches Rooted in Communities
Community based strategies for addressing obesity highlight the importance of initiatives and grassroots movements. Programs that concentrate on enhancing access to foods encouraging activity and educating community members about healthy eating have shown positive outcomes. For example community gardens and farmers markets can offer produce to residents living in areas with access to healthy food options promoting better dietary choices. Schools and community centers can also play a role by providing nutrition education and physical activity programs.
The Impact of Technology
Technology has increasingly become an asset in the battle against obesity. Mobile applications and wearable gadgets enable individuals to monitor their calorie intake and exercise levels offering feedback and motivating lifestyle choices.
Furthermore social networking sites can play a role, in advocating for public health initiatives and sharing details on diet and wellness. Although technology isn't a solution to the issue of obesity it provides avenues to involve people and groups in embracing healthier habits (Stephens & Allen 2013).
Future Directions and Recommendations
The approach to tackling obesity needs to be multi-faceted and should involve collaboration between government departments, health workers, local communities, as well as the food industry. In future, there is need for more efforts in creating an atmosphere that supports healthier selections particularly among the disadvantaged groups. This means that one should continue to campaign for policies aimed at reducing children’s exposure to unhealthy food advertisements, improving availability of healthy foods in deprived neighborhoods and encouraging manufacturers in the food sector to change their products into a healthier version.
Further still public health campaigns will try and focus on having balanced diets regularly done exercises. Schools and offices can succeed by developing well-structured meals alongside opportunities for exercising. More research is also needed to understand why some people are poor eaters or overweight than others.
Policy Proposals
To further combat the menace of overweight, policy makers should think about enacting a variety of evidence-based strategies. Some of them could be: Sugar-Sweetened Beverage Taxes: Taxes on sugary drinks can decrease consumption and raise funds for public health projects. Zoning Regulations: By controlling the number of fast food restaurants in given areas, intake will subside and encourage establishment of grocery stores among other healthier alternatives.Menu Labeling Laws: This makes sure that restaurants indicate calorie counts as well as other nutritional information to assist customers in making informed choices. School Nutrition Standards: Schools meals and snacks in the course of learning ought to meet recommended nutrition levels so that students are eating healthy. Addressing Behavioral FactorsBehavioral interventions also play a significant role in dealing with obesity. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other psychological approaches aid individuals to develop better eating habits and deal with triggers involved in overeating. Programs addressing weight control which incorporate behavior change counseling together with diet and exercise components show promise towards helping individuals achieve successful long term weight loss.Long-Term Commitment and Sustainable Change
Society must collectively make a commitment that will last over a long period to reduce obesity rates. The approach should be ongoing and flexible enough to accommodate changing circumstances and new information. For this change to be lasting, there must be continuous investment in public health infrastructure, research, and education. Therefore, significant strides can be achieved in reducing obesity rates by nurturing a culture that appreciates wellness.
Cultural Shifts and Public Perception
In addressing the obesity epidemic another critical factor is shifting public opinion as well as cultural norms with regards to food and health. The acceptance of fast food and oversize portions as normative has been one of the major drivers towards unhealthy eating habits over the past few decades. This would involve public health campaigns focused on what constitutes healthy balanced meals and promoting on good home cooked fresh meal benefits instead. To change public perception cooking classes nutrition workshops media campaign advertising preparation advantages of healthy meals at home for instance.
Strengthening Health Care Interventions
Routine screenings, counseling and support for weight management by health care providers are crucial in handling obesity. Obesity prevention and treatment should be integrated into primary care to ensure consistency and comprehensiveness in people’s health. Personalized advice can be availed by the healthcare practitioners and also set realistic targets as well as referring patients to dietitians or structured weight loss programs.
Advancing Research and Use of Proven Practices
To better understand the intricate contributors to obesity and curate effective interventions, it is important to sustain research. Longitudinal studies that follow diet patterns, activity levels, and disease outcomes offer useful information on how to prevent or reduce obesity. By exploring behavioral, environmental and genetic factors that affect obesity, this will enable us to make interventions that are specific for different populations and situations as well.
Conclusion
The period between 2000 and 2010 registered a sharp increase of obesity rates that is closely linked to the spread of fast food outlets across America. This public health menace can only be fought with multidimensional approaches that will change public attitude, improve education, enhance corporate accountability and support inclusive research plus health care interventions. By creating an environment where good health is appreciated through provision of necessary resources and support, we can achieve significant milestones in curbing cases of obesity within our population as well as overall improvement in their welfare.
Citations:
Boyland, E.J. & Halford, J.C.G., 2013. Television advertising and branding. Effects on eating behavior and food preferences in children. **Appetite**, 62, pp.236-241.
Brownell, K.D. & Frieden, T.R., 2009. Ounces of prevention—the public policy case for taxes on sugared beverages. **New England Journal of Medicine**, 360(18), pp.1805-1808.
Drewnowski, A. & Specter, S.E., 2004. Poverty and obesity: the role of energy density and energy costs. **American Journal of Clinical Nutrition**, 79(1), pp.6-16.
Krieger, J.W., Chan, N.L., Saelens, B.E., Ta, M.L., Solet, D. & Fleming, D.W., 2013. Menu labeling regulations and calories purchased at chain restaurants. **American Journal of Preventive Medicine**, 44(6), pp.595-604.
Ogden, C.L., Carroll, M.D., Kit, B.K. & Flegal, K.M., 2014. Prevalence of childhood and adult obesity in the United States, 2011-2012. **JAMA**, 311(8), pp.806-814.
Smith, L.P., Ng, S.W. & Popkin, B.M., 2013. Trends in US home food preparation and consumption: analysis of national nutrition surveys and time use studies from 1965-1966 to 2007-2008. **Nutrition Journal**, 12(1), p.45.
Stephens, J. & Allen, J., 2013. Mobile phone interventions to increase physical activity and reduce weight: a systematic review. **Journal of Cardiovascular Nursing**, 28(4), pp.320-329.
Story, M., Kaphingst, K.M., Robinson-O'Brien, R. & Glanz, K., 2008. Creating healthy food and eating environments: policy and environmental approaches. **Annual Review of Public Health**, 29, pp.253-272.
Walker, R.E., Keane, C.R. & Burke, J.G., 2010. Disparities and access to healthy food in the United States: A review of food deserts literature. **Health & Place**, 16(5), pp.876-884.
Young, L.R. & Nestle, M., 2002. The contribution of expanding portion sizes to the US obesity epidemic. **American Journal of Public Health**, 92(2), pp.246-249.
Fulkerson, J.A., Story, M., Neumark-Sztainer, D. & Rydell, S., 2008. Family meals: Perceptions of benefits and challenges among parents of 8-to 10-year-old children. **Journal of the American Dietetic Association**, 108(4), pp.706-709.
Huang, T.T.K., Drewnowski, A., Kumanyika, S.K. & Glass, T.A., 2009. A systems-oriented multilevel framework for addressing obesity in the 21st century. **Preventing Chronic Disease**, 6(3), A82.
Kumanyika, S.K., 2008. Environmental influences on childhood obesity: Ethnic and cultural influences in context. **Physician and Sportsmedicine**, 36(1), pp.45-51.
Larson, N.I., Story, M.T. & Nelson, M.C., 2009. Neighborhood environments: Disparities in access to healthy foods in the US. **American Journal of Preventive Medicine**, 36(1), pp.74-81.
Ludwig, D.S. & Pollack, H.A., 2009. Obesity and the economy: from crisis to opportunity. **JAMA**, 301(5), pp.533-535.
Powell, L.M., Chaloupka, F.J. & Bao, Y., 2007. The availability of fast-food and full-service restaurants in the United States: associations with neighborhood characteristics. **American Journal of Preventive Medicine**, 33(4), pp.S240-S245.
Sallis, J.F., Floyd, M.F., Rodríguez, D.A. & Saelens, B.E., 2012. Role of built environments in physical activity, obesity, and cardiovascular disease. **Circulation**, 125(5), pp.729-737.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/SRBias posting in relationship_advice
Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 10th May 2024
Update - 13th May 2024
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I (50 M) just learned my spouse (47 F) was unfaithful years ago in marriage. She came clean from guilt. Where do I go from here?
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This will be quite a lengthy read because I'm laying out everything to get honest opinions with all the context. There's a TLDR at the end for those who'd rather skip the backstory. I know that most people go incognito with a throwaway account for this kind of post. But I wanted this to be authentic, using my real account. I didn't want anyone to think this was disingenuous. If we know each other in real life or you find me on my other socials, let's keep our chats here or in PMs. I don't want anyone harassing anybody, and I have a sixteen-year-old daughter who has been spared this drama so far.
I tied the knot shortly after high school, and let's just say, if my marriage were a collegiate course, it would be "F*** Up - 101." It was a masterclass in what not to do, featuring every red flag in the book. I was fresh-faced and barely off on my life journey, thinking I'd hit the jackpot. I'd assumed I'd accomplished what my parents did, that being the poster couple for marital bliss. I was so naive, always giving the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, my then-wife, fresh from escaping her parental fortress of solitude, went bat s*** crazy, deciding that 'living life to the fullest' didn't include me in the picture.
Before I knew it, I was Mr. Mom with our toddler while she was trapped underneath a few individuals, making up for lost time. After finally catching her in the act, I filed for a divorce and braced for the impact. Divorcing in '97 in the heart of the bible belt was not favorable towards the husband back then. What followed was straight out of a horror movie. I paid my attorney five thousand dollars to watch her take everything from my guitars and video games. She even claimed keepsakes from a departed relative, and the judge seemed happy to grant her every wish. Not only did I bid farewell to everything I owned, but my time with my son got slashed to a mere Wednesday afternoon and alternating weekends.
My faith in women was broken. I went on a few dates here and there but mostly kept it to casual encounters and dinners. I never let anyone get too close. But, in early 1999, at a friend's birthday party, I met a woman whose marriage had crashed harder than mine. She'd had a stillbirth six months into her pregnancy, and her husband dared to bring his girlfriend to the funeral. She was heartbroken, to say the least, to learn about her husband's affair and the end of her marriage on the day they laid her daughter to rest. We sat on a couch that night, swapping tales of romantic ruin. She was clever, and to me, that is an instant connection. It's rare for me to find someone who makes me laugh instead of vice versa. As I headed home, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts, kicking myself for not asking for her number.
The next, my phone rang, and it was her! She'd gotten my phone number from someone we both knew and asked: "Would you like to get food sometime?" I said, "Now sounds great!" So, I drove to her grandmother's house, and off we went on what turned out to be what I still consider the perfect date. Now, I get it; we were both lonely and had our hearts broken, but trust me, this was no spark; it was an inferno. And believe it or not, we've been inseparable since that day. We have not spent a night apart. That was twenty-five years ago, with us marrying a year after our meeting. Go ahead and facepalm, I know how it sounds, but it's hard to put the connection between us into words. Even I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
Our families adored the two of us together. I was certain I had found my soulmate, if you believe in that, and I was certain she felt the same. We enjoyed each other's company, and our lives meshed perfectly. As with life, however, it finds those moments of bliss to take a giant s*** on you. In 2006, I began feeling ill; eating resulted in violent illness, which I initially thought was a virus. But after a week with no improvement, it was clear this was something else. I was admitted to the local hospital and underwent numerous tests. When I was first admitted, I weighed 222 pounds at a height of 6'2". Within a year, I had dropped to 146 pounds, and my condition dumbfounded the doctors. My health was deteriorating rapidly. Throughout the ordeal, she never left my side, her hand in mine, begging me not to leave her.
In late 2007, a last-ditch effort sent me to the Cleveland Clinic, where a young doctor rushed me into surgery. When I awoke three hours later, she was there, hand in mine, with a smile. It was a success; I was cured. While I'll spare you the details, it involved my colon. Finally, I could eat and move without agony. My life resumed, and we were happy again. The following year, she received a lucrative job offer in her field, earning more than I did. That didn't bother me at all; she worked hard, and she'd earned it.
After her miscarriage, my wife was unable to conceive. We had been trying since 2000 and eventually came to terms with the fact that it might not happen. In 2010, we got a call from the state of Minnesota about a two-year-old girl who had been taken from her mother due to drug-related charges. They asked if we would consider adopting her because the mother had requested she be placed with family members before her parental rights were terminated. My wife and I drove for 30 hours to meet her, and after a few months, we adopted her and welcomed her into our home.
Our daughter faced social challenges and had endured abuse, leading the two of us to decide one of us needed to be at home with her. As mentioned, my wife earned significantly more, so it made sense for me to be the one to step into the role. I dedicated each day to supporting our daughter's mental health. While I played a part, I can't claim all the credit for this; her preschool, kindergarten, and therapist were instrumental in her learning to socialize and trust again. Eventually, I took up freelance journalism, so I was home when our little one finished her school day.
Our evenings were family time, and we took small trips on weekends. It was in 2017 that my wife returned from work one evening, deeply shaken by what she told me was a workplace argument. Despite my attempts to console her, she remained incorrigible. She was declaring her intent to find a new job. She'd never had any issues before, so I was stunned. For days, she was a mess and withdrawn. When I pressed for details, she'd say, "It would only upset you. Let me deal with it."
True to her word, she left for a new company within a week, accepting a 15 percent reduction in pay. I should have questioned it then, but she never gave me cause for concern. Once she began her new role, life returned to normal, and our family happily moved forward. In 2022, I published my first novel with an independent publisher, fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could sense the pride emanating from both my wife and daughter. I had achieved this milestone before my fiftieth birthday, and I couldn't wait to start on my second one.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where my world breaks. In 2023, as I was finishing up my new novel, my twenty-seven-year-old son from my first marriage died suddenly of a heart attack. He had an underlying condition that none of us knew about. I want everyone to understand that when you say, "I couldn't imagine my child dying," you truly can't. There is no pain quite like it. My wife and daughter, who also felt his loss deeply, did their best to support me. But there is no way to deal with such a tragedy. In the months following his death, I immersed myself in my work, striving to complete my second book for him.
On the day I finished it in January, my father passed away after a long battle. Dad had been ill for a long time. You think you can prepare yourself for that, but that's a lie you tell yourself. The loss was hard, and my daughter was instrumental in getting me back on my feet. My second book was released in February, and I tried to smile as I had my release party. At the beginning of April, I started feeling better, writing outlines for my third novel and doing the same things I'd always done with my wife and daughter.
My wife and I have a Wednesday tradition where she picks a random recipe she finds online, and we cook it together. On April 3rd, while making crockpot chicken tacos, I thanked her for everything. She asked why, and I thanked her for everything she'd done to get me through the tough times. I shared a lot of pent-up emotions, telling her I couldn't have managed without her. She started crying, then weeping, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to comfort her with a hug, but she pushed me away. I apologized, not realizing my words would stir such a reaction.
Suddenly, she confesses her infidelity. I laughed, mistaking it for a joke. She grabs my shoulders and then details how, back in 2017, a 28-year-old at her former job started flirting with her, and she reciprocated. She believed it was innocent, yet it persisted. My wife has always feared growing old. Her birthdays were days she dreaded every year. She admitted that the attention from a younger man was exhilarating. She told me that turning 40 had sent her into a tailspin and that she couldn't talk to me about it because I would have just shrugged it off.
He invited her to leave work early and come to his place one day. She couldn't understand why she chose to; maybe it was the thrill. She said she didn't know, but she went and ended up sleeping with him. Afterward, she felt terrible, glaring at her keychain in his driveway because it had a photo of me holding our daughter. She drove home, and that's when she lied about having a workplace argument. She never wanted to return there. It's why she suddenly went somewhere else. She then told me she wanted to tell me but didn't have the fortitude to do it.
I remained silent, just wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She apologized, saying she couldn't live with it any longer. I just shook my head, unable to speak a single word. She offered to leave if that's what I wanted, to attend counseling, or even to beg for my forgiveness. Instead, I picked up my AirPods and phone and walked out. I wandered from six in the evening until almost eleven that night. When I returned, she was on the loveseat, asking if I was ready to talk. I shook my head again, went to my office, where I had a couch, and slept there.
The next day, after our daughter left for school, she asked if I had anything to say. I said yes. I questioned why she brought this up after the worst year of my life. Why couldn't she have kept it to herself until I could somewhat deal with something of this magnitude? She just looked away. I scoffed and told her to go to work and to try not to f*** anyone during her lunch break. That would have been April 4th; those were the last words I said to her until last night.
She had attempted to talk to me several times, but I would just walk past her into my office, trying to focus on my upcoming science fiction comedy book. Writing something funny is challenging when the thought of your spouse rolling around with another man stuck in her consumes your thoughts. A week ago, my daughter asked in the car if everything was okay, and I lied to her, which made me feel sick. Then, last night, my wife came to the office door and asked, "Are we getting a divorce?" I looked at her and replied, "Looks like it." She started crying and closed the door.
I haven't consulted an attorney, and the thought of divorce hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it. That's why I wrote this essay. Where do I go from here? How do I start to untangle this mess? I have no desire for therapy. I don't even want to step outside. I'm broken at this moment. The burden of everything has been overwhelming. There's been so much to bear this past year. What do you say to someone who has been by your side through it all, only to tear your heart apart?
Thank you for reading to the end. And for those who are part of the TLDR crowd, my wife decided to go home with a younger man, felt guilty about it, and quit her job. She waited eight years to tell me about it.
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Comments
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Foreign_Flight4566
Jesus, man. I’m sorry for your loss(es). Timing of your wife’s confession is mind-boggling. Realistically, this is above Reddit’s pay grade. I’ll recommend therapy, but probably above a therapist’s pay grade too. I know you also state you don’t want therapy, but that sounds like the exact time you need it. They can offer grief support, which is what you’ll need as you tease out emotions from losing loved ones and a very nasty betrayal. I hope you find happiness in whatever you decide.

OOP: I contemplated several different subs and I have no idea why I chose this one. I should have clarified above that after my son died, local hospice house around here has grief counseling, which I used extensively. I don't want to do couple's counseling is what I should have said. My apologies. I posted this to try and get outside perspectives from people, and maybe give me a different angle to look at this.

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cakivalue
Not couples counseling but individual therapy for you. You need the support right now after all you've been through and an unbiased third party to support you through the pain and demise of your marriage, next steps and co-parenting.
My unprofessional angle here is that this is most likely over. Had she come clean in 2017 you would have been able to make a choice regarding forgiveness, couples therapy etc. she held on to this secret for seven years and then dumped it on you at the worst time in order to ease her own guilty feelings. Especially knowing that you had both been hurt in this exact way in the past is especially jaw dropping that she did all of this.
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Magnum_tv
Fuck man! This is...just fuck...
Firstly, I'm so sorry for your losses. I extend my sincere condolences.
You need grief counseling. This would help you put things in perspective. At least you'll be able to eventually make decisions based on logic than just pure emotion.
Secondly, your spouse. She not only betrayed you, she lied to you for eight years. EIGHT YEARS! That's fucking scary, because now you're gonna be wondering what else she can be hiding.
Now I'm an asshole, I'd be out of that marriage tomorrow. You however, have truly built a life with her. If, and I mean a big fucking IF, she's regretful, you should divorce, it would be less stress in your life having to be her warden. Because the trust is gone.
If, she's remorseful, you could try to work it out. But she needs to put in the work. Not you, HER. Because she's the one who fucked up.
Remember, regret and remorse are two completely different things.
I'd recommend you still talk to a lawyer before making a final decision. The more informed you are, the better choice you'll be able to make.
I'm truly sorry you're dealing with this, best of luck brother.

OOP: Thank you so much. This is another thing in the back of my mind what else has she been dishonest about?

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Update - 3 days later
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UPDATE - After spending Saturday morning formulating and reading the staggering number of comments, I've made my decision. Some said my issue was far beyond the Reddit pay grade – they were mistaken. I deliberately avoided turning to family and friends, seeking a view from an outside perspective, and I think it worked. My gratitude goes out to all who sent private messages and responded; your thoughts on the matter helped me come to my conclusion.
On Saturday evening, I approached my wife to apologize for the silent treatment, I told her I wasn't attempting to punish her and acknowledged that it was childish. I told her if I would have opened my mouth, I would have been overly harsh and ruined any opportunity of a civil conversation. I promised we'd discuss it the next day.
On Sunday evening, I let it all out; I didn't cry, or raise my voice. I asked the man's name, which she provided. I asked her if the man was married when she betrayed us, and she confirmed he was. That hit me hard, because she knew he was also with someone. I asked if he was still married. She told me she had no clue, she hadn't seen him since the day she left for her new job. I told her I hoped they were, because I was going to make sure she knew. If my life had to be ripped apart, so would his. I thought that would get a rise out of her, it didn't. She just nodded.
I expressed my doubts about the affair being an isolated event, echoing the comments of several others. She maintained it was a one-off and was the sole reason she left her job. I explained that after eight years of this lie, it's natural for me to question anything she said. I then made it clear that if there's more to the story than what she's admitted, now is the time to be as open and honest as possible.
Any further revelations would be a deal-breaker for me, and there would be no excuse that could rectify it. She pleaded it was a singular occurrence and that she's been wanting to confess since it happened. I asked if he had reached out after her departure, she denied any contact. I responded that it didn't surprise me, assuming he got what he wanted and moved on to another person at work. It was the only cheap shot I threw.
I requested that she leave the house for a few weeks, I wasn't telling her it was over, but I wanted to be away from her. I suggested she could stay with her sister, her mother, or even rent a place—anywhere but here. I also informed her of my intention to discuss the situation with our daughter, who is 16 by the way, some people have commented believing her to be quite younger. To my surprise, my wife revealed she had already told her about a week ago, which I was completely unaware of. She inquired about the tone of the house, and my anger, and my wife confessed to her. Before my daughter went to bed, I asked her, and indeed, my wife had admitted that she had been unfaithful. I wanted to know why she hadn't come to me about it, and she told me she didn't want to make me feel worse.
I've decided to keep her home from school tomorrow to have a heart-to-heart about everything. It's important for me to understand her feelings and to emphasize that harboring hatred towards her mother isn't the goal. Her mother has always been loving and supportive. It's natural for her to feel angry, and that's okay, but picking sides isn't beneficial – nobody wins in this situation. It's a tough reality I'm coming to terms with, everyone loses. Tomorrow, I plan to contact three local therapists and reach out to the grief counselor I met after my son's death. I'm not interested in couple's therapy; I believe individual therapy is what I need, and since it's highly recommended, I'm going to pursue it.
My daughter's school year is ending soon, and I'm looking forward to spending quality time with her. I prefer to keep our plans private from family and friends; it's our personal matter. Someone advised me about controlling the narrative, but the only thing that matters now is that my daughter knows the truth. I need some time to come to terms if this relationship is salvageable. I need this time for self-reflection and to assess the situation. When she asked if we were going the route of legal separation, I clarified that it wasn't the case. I told her that when I look at her it brings up feelings of anger, which isn't healthy.
To my astonishment, she consented to everything. She doesn't want our relationship to end, and I reminded her that her actions with him forfeited that choice to me. She mentioned my wedding ring as a sign that she still matters to me, and I assured her that she does. I proposed we conclude things there. As I walked by, I touched her shoulder; she nodded in agreement. Later, she phoned her sister and made plans to stay with her the following evening after work.
TLDR. I want to express my gratitude to everyone for their support and guidance, except to the asshole that just wanted to pick a fight. I apologize for the length of my initial post; I believed the full context was necessary to help you understand why I'm so conflicted. To those who reached out privately and know my identity, your discretion is deeply appreciated. I'm looking forward to spending the next month with my daughter and starting therapy. Your messages are welcome, and I'll do my best to respond to each one. I'll provide another update in the future when I've made a decision about our next steps or if it's time to move on. I am not rushing into this decision lightly.
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Comments
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Bolt_McHardsteel
Clearly you have given this a lot of thought, and come up with a way forward that is best for you. Good luck in therapy, get yourself mentally right, there is no rush to make a final decision on your marriage. Take good care of your daughter! She seems like an amazing kid. Hang in there.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments