Welcome to /Charity!

Got a charitable cause you'd like to share! This is the place!

Requirements

For 501c(3) non-profits (US) or a Non-Governmental Organization (aka NGO outside the US)

• For a registered 501c(3) or other certified charity (such as NGO's in other non-US countries), the charity must be listed in a governmental web site for verification.
• A fundraiser that is being handled directly by that charity, such as the American Heart Association's Heartwalk or JDRF's charity walk, where you supply a link on their site for your team/yourself.
• A crowdfunding site that shows it is directly benefiting a certified charity.

Please modmail us so that we can flair your post as a registered certified non-profit!

For Everyone Else

You must have both

• Account age of 30 days or older AND
• Comment karma of 250 or greater.

NOTE: We are specifically looking for COMMENT karma. The karma value you are probably looking at is a COMBINED value, consisting of both Link/Post karma plus Comment karma.

To view your karma breakdown:

• Mouse-hover over your username on desktop. This works for both the old and redesigned web site.
• On the official Reddit app for iOS, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the official Reddit app for Android, you can't. Complain on /redditmobile.
• On the unofficial Reddit App for Android, RIF (Formerly known as Reddit is Fun), your breakdown is listed on your profile screen.

The following circumventions will result in a ban:

• Using a karma farming subreddit, such as Karma4You, or asking focomplaining about karma in a general sub.
• Unsolicited private messaging to push your campaign.
• Posting your campaign on someone else's post.

Comment Karma is directly correlated to how many comments you leave plus/minus any points as people upvote a popular comment or downvote an unpopular comment.

Credibility, Community, and You

AKA, Why Do We Have Account Requirements for Individuals?
In an effort to make your crowdfunding efforts more successful here on Reddit, some background first:
In many of the gifting and fundraising subs, you'll notice that without a certain amount "karma" and an account that's old enough, you'll garner down votes or worse, your posts and comments get automatically removed.
Why?
To many Redditors, this place is a community built on activity. The "coin" of the land here is your account, and how much you've contributed to the Reddit community at large reflected in post and comment karma.
As a general rule, Redditors dislike the creation of accounts specifically to fund raise or to make requests. It makes it seem like these people simply treat Reddit as some sort of magical internet wallet, and that doesn't win many friends.
The other reason why new accounts are so disliked is that they're often alternate accounts of established users, in order to hide their activity from people they know. While we do sympathize with those of you who have valid reasons, this privilege is often abused by those who create disposable accounts to scam people for a quick buck.
This trust issue doesn't exist in the same way with certified non-profit groups, as you can look them up online for verification, and at least in the case of 501c(3)s, their spending is transparent due to their required tax filings which are public information.
So if you're new to Reddit, welcome! Spend some time and look around for something that catches your interest and chat it up with others and become part of the community!
However if you're here for the sole reason of making requests in a hurry, please be aware your pleas for help will likely be ignored.
REMEMBER, CREDIBILITY AND COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
For this reason, the mods will not post anything on behalf of any user that does not meet account requirements.

Rules

1. Posts must be more than just a link to your campaign. Be descriptive! Show evidence . This includes:
   1. If this is for your pet, photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture.
   2. School documentation showing enrollment if you are asking for assistance for school.
   3. Redacted bills showing your situation.
   4. Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.
   5. At minimum, please attach an unobstructed selfie photo of yourself(the submitter) with a handwritten note of your username.
   6. Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" will be removed.
2. Please Flair your posts, once created. If you don't know how, just let the mods know and we'll do it for you.
3. Only 1 campaign per user. We want you have some personal connection to the campaign, and not submit multiples simply because they were in the news.
4. Reposts are allowed once a week. If a repost comes up too early, the newest one(s) will be removed.
5. Acceptable transfer methods for individuals are for crowdfunding sites only, such as GoFundme, YouCaring, etc. Individuals should avoid using Paypal, crypto, or direct banking aps (like Chase). 501c(3) and NGOs may use whatever method they wish.
6. Don't PM people to make requests. If you receive an unsolicited private message, please let us know!
7. Do not post politically-related campaigns. They're just too divisive.
8. Trolling will not be tolerated and offending users will be banned.
9. Don't bug the mods for an exception to the account requirements. None will be given. If you attempt to circumvent the requirement by karma farming or by commenting on someone else's post, your account will be banned.
10. No posting for other Redditors. No Alts. This is viewed as a circumvention of requirements and both accounts will be banned.
11. Selling is only allowed by 1st parties directly. We do not allow selling by 3rd parties to benefit another organization, as there's no transparency to verify that the announced percentage of sales actually goes to the beneficiary. Only direct sales by the non-profit organization are allowed.

Supporting Information Requested for Non-501c(3) and Non-NGO campaigns.

We aren't the government. We aren't a court of law. We definitely don't want you to give out information that could lead to identity theft. However, some campaigns are more successful when they have additional documentation.
This includes:

• Pet related requests: Photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture. This helps show you actually own the pet in question.
• Education related requests: Documentation showing enrollment or acceptance if you are asking for assistance for school.
• Redacted bills showing your situation. In some cases, a donor may prefer to pay a creditor directly on your behalf, so be prepared and find out if that is available to you.
• If you are sharing a campaign for a registered certified non-profit organization (such as a 501c3 or NGO), you should say so in the post, and it should list that status on the campaign page/web site.
• Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.

Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" (or less!) will be removed.

How to Include a Photo or Other Supporting Info Document In Your Post

Because Reddit wasn't initially designed to handle photos when it was created, it has limitations in the implementation of photo support which don't work well for us. So instead we suggest the following:

1. Upload your photo to Imgur.com or other photo hosting site.
2. Copy the URL for the photo.
3. Create a new post or Edit your existing one to include the URL to the photo.

Please make sure to include this, as it is the primary reason why posts that are otherwise fine get removed.

Advice On Making Your Campaign Go Further

Not all crowdfunding campaigns are the same, but here are some suggestions.

• Make sure your campaign has been shared among your Facebook friends! You might think it's embarrassing, however your friends and family are more likely to care than internet strangers.
• Show that you've exhausted all the other possibilities. A lot of potential donors don't like to give money when it seems like the requester's first and only solution is to simply throw someone else's money at the problem. Nobody is going to take your word when you literally only say, "but I've done everything!", when the actual reality is probably closer to "I've done everything I can think of", which arguably is NOT everything.
• Show that there's a plan to use the money wisely. Often people have campaigns for their business ideas, but it doesn't really seem like they thought it all the way through. Tell people what steps you've taken so far, and what you're going to do next.
• Be open to critics. If there's something that people ask about, you should not be dismissive. Provide more detail. There's a possibility that they know something you don't, or they have something different about their own experience that might be useful to you. If you simply brush off your critics, it shows objectively that you're not doing everything possible.
• Review your own campaign with the mindset of a potential donor. Ask yourself, "Would I give money to this?" Or get a friend to review it for you.

Questions?

Please don't hesitate to ask the mods!
... Unless you're trying to ask for an exception to the account requirements.

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Url: https://caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/behavior-and-development/social_media
Title: “Social Media: What Parents Should Know”
Author: Canadian Pediatric Society
Date Published: August 2023
In society today, social media has become an essential part of staying connected with others. But as children become old enough to have phones and get social media including apps such as TikTok and Instagram, it’s important for parents to know how to monitor their kids' online interactions and keep them safe from its dangers. Social media has some positive attributes that can benefit children and teens, but also has some negative effects that can be harmful. The Canadian Pediatric Society published an article titled, “Social media: What parents should know,” that discusses how social media is used by kids in both good and bad ways and how parents should take steps in keeping their children safe from the dangers of social media.
The First Media Key: Balance
In the book, Infinite Bandwidth, seven media keys are used to describe and interpret the strengths and weaknesses in the media. The first media key of balance relates to eating healthy and using social media. “That’s what eating right looks like: a little bit of everything, more of what’s good for us than what’s bad for us…” (Gan, pg. 27). This example shows that media can be shown to us in moderation because it is not good to consume too much of it. Using balance also allows us to make decisions about whether the media is acceptable for our children. If we practice the virtue of temperance, then we will be able to use this media key to examine and moderate the media and focus more on the good in the world around us rather than on social media.
An example of balance is when the author suggests that parents use parental controls to block certain websites and use time limits on social media. This shows that if we use social media in moderation then we will be healthier. And by establishing boundaries and guidelines we can protect our children from the dangers of overusing social media. Using temperance will allow our children to experience social media in a safe way, but also enjoy and see the beauty in the world that God has created for us that is right at our fingertips.
The Second Media Key: Attitude Awareness
The second media key, attitude awareness, focuses on the virtue of prudence. “With the help of this virtue we apply moral principles to particular cases without error and overcome doubts about the good to achieve and the evil to avoid” (Gan, pg. 47). This media key shows that we are aware that there is both good and bad content on social platforms and we must use reason and our best judgment when discerning the role of each particular form of media.
In the article, we find an example of attitude awareness when the author discusses how we need to see both sides of the media. “Social media can have both positive (staying connected with friends) and negative (lowered self-esteem, making social comparisons) effects on kids’ mental and emotional health” (Canadian Pediatric Society). This shows that parents need to have prudence when looking at the strengths and shortcomings that media can have on their children. If parents examine social media sites using good judgment and wisdom then they will be protecting their children from the negative side of social media.
The Third Media Key: The Dignity of the Human Person
The third media key highlights the virtue of justice. “Justice towards men disposes one to respect the rights of each and to establish in human relationships the harmony that promotes equity with regard to persons and to the common good” (Gan pgs. 62-63). The dignity of the human person key reminds us to respect one another in relationships, especially as children of God. But also to respect our mind and bodies because they too are a part of us and we need to respect and honor ourselves and the bodies of others.
When discussing social media with children, parents need to teach them how to protect themselves and their privacy. One way we can respect each other is to “[p]rotect and respect their friends’ privacy by asking permission before posting a photo or video of another person” (Canadian Pediatric Society). Also, parents should remind their kids that online photos that they post could be used against them. A person’s body is sacred and photos should not be shared containing anything inappropriate or provocative. These parental reminders reiterate the dignity of the human person and teach children to be respectful of their bodies and the bodies of others in what they post online.
The Fourth Media Key: Truth-Filled
Truth-filled is the fourth media key that follows the virtue of fortitude. The virtue of fortitude “strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life” (Gan pg. 79). “Whether we’re creating a misleading picture of our life on Facebook, cultivating an online persona who does what we would never do offline, or simply failing to give credit where credit is due, we’re not using the media in a way that reflects or upholds truth” (Gan pg. 76).
On social media, we must remember that not everything we see is true or real. Parents must teach their children to be aware that even when others are not truthful, they need to be honest and true online. “Remind your children that what they see on social media doesn’t always reflect reality, and help them find joy in offline activities” (Canadian Pediatric Society). If we teach them fortitude and strength of character, then they will be able to overcome the obstacles like lies or fake personas on social media that may lead them away from being truthful in real life.
The Fifth Media Key: Inspiring
The fifth media key, inspiring, shows us the best in the media and that it does have a good purpose. By using the virtue of hope, we will be able to “desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit” (Gan, pg. 95). God wants us to live a good life full of happiness and love. If we practice hope then it will inspire us to do good in our everyday lives.
There are many negative effects of social media but there are also many positives as well. Children can use social media in ways of “connecting with others, messaging and chatting, and joining groups. For youth with disabilities or chronic conditions, peer support groups can provide a safe place to meet others with shared experiences, and can help rescue social isolation” (Canadian Pediatric Society). This gives children hope and allows them to partake in the good life that God has promised us. Using social media in positive ways shows us the best of this form of media and allows us to understand its purpose in our lives and society.
The Sixth Media Key: Skillfully Developed
The virtue that connects with the sixth media key is faith. Having faith is not only limited to yourself, but also having faith for those in the media. We must educate ourselves in new technology and experience advancements throughout our world. This will shape us to “learn how to recognize and create media that meets the culture’s expectations for what constitutes skillfully developed products” (Gan, pg. 102). If we see this skillfully developed media with faith as our guide then it will allow for us to make a better judgment for us and our children in the future.
“Social media apps are designed to keep people online as long as possible. Constantly checking for ‘likes,’ followers, and messages can lead to unhealthy behaviors and mood changes” (Canadian Pediatric Society). If parents skillfully develop guidelines for media and technology and understand its role in society, then they can set limits and restrictions to minimize its risks for them. Social media is out there, but if parents educate themselves about it, then they can curb its negative effects and instead put their faith in the positive effects for their children.
The Seventh Media Key: Motivated by or Relevant to Experience
The motivated by or relevant to experience media key follows the virtue of charity. “The practice of all the virtues of animation and inspired by charity, which…upholds and purifies our human ability to love, and raises it to the supernatural perfection of divine love” (Gan, pg. 128). Our love allows us to use charity to motivate us into action to protect and care for each other.
“Set a good example by following the rules you set for online behavior. Ask them before you share anything about them” (Canadian Pediatric Society). This quote tells parents what they can do to set a good example for how their children should be behaving online. This media key shows us that our own experiences have an impact on our children and their thoughts and behaviors. If what parents reflect in their social media posts is good and wholesome then when their children get social media they will have an admirable example to follow.

I have been launching many startups lately and just want to share some of the stuff that worked really good for me.

Build a free, useful tool to get backlinks

If you are running a content-driven website and rely on search traffic, one of the best ways of boosting your rankings is to get backlinks.
There is a simple trick to get backlinks: building a very simple, easy-to-use tool for a niche market.
Why? Because tools are x12 times more likely to get backlinks and social shares.
Some examples: • A Mortgage Calculator (ex: Zillow) • A tool to convert gross salary to net salary
If these types of tools do not fit your niche, you can consider building a cheat sheet, a planning document, or a reference chart.
How To Implement This Tip

1. Decide what kind of tool you want to make. It should be directly related to what your business is doing.
2. Get a freelancer from Upwork to build it for you. Or purchase it from CodeCanyon
3. Make sure its URL is like this: yourwebsite .com/tool Do not put it in a subdomain, because backlinks directing a subdomain does not count for your .com domain.
4. Make sure that you put internal links to your tool.
5. Optional: you can also ask for email addresses from users and capture leads.

Put your domain on the “ref” for your outgoing links to other sites that you linked to them

One of the best ways to get backlinks is to give backlinks. When webmasters see that others are linking them, sometimes they link back. I have seen this tens of times.
So, to alert other websites that you are linking to them is to put a “ref” section to your outgoing links.
Like this: somelink .com/?ref=mysitecom
When they check analytics they will notice your page way more easily and hopefully link back.

Help Reporters & get backlinks or mentions by signing up to HARO

One great way to build backlinks and brand mentions easily is by leveraging yourself as an expert on a particular topic. You can use a service called Help A Reporter Out (HARO) for this purpose.
What HARO does is connecting you with reporters and bloggers who need sources and quotes from industry experts for the stories they are writing.
How To Do It:

1. Sign up for an account at helpareporter.com. Free account gets you free queries which are sent to your inbox 3 times each day. You can also get more with a paid account.
2. Once you’ve pick a query, respond with your quote and a short bio and a link to your website.

Donate Little Money To Get Links From Crowdfunding Campaigns

Crowdfunding campaigns on Kickstarter or Indiegogo usually display their supporter's names and websites on their pages.
You get listed on those pages and get a quick & easy backlink by donating them the littlest money possible.
But beware, this is in a grey area in terms of “paid links”. Use this strategy at your own risk.

List Your Website On ProductPerk to Get Social Media Reviews at No Cost

ProductPerk platform enables products to receive social media reviews by giving away discounts to social media reviewers. So social media users share honest product reviews and win product perks in return.
By using ProductPerk you can get many social media reviews by simply offering discounts or free usage. It is free to use and works like charm.

Keyword Optimize Your Pages With Search Console Data

There is a huge data mine that you can use to improve your pages’ performance: Google Search Console
In the Search Console, you can see which keywords bring the most traffic to which pages. Also, you can see the search volumes of these keywords.
What you need to do is, to check each page on Search Console and analyze their most effective keywords. Then you can optimize your page with the highest volume keywords. Simple.
How To Do It:

1. Go to search console: https://search.google.com/search-console/
2. Go to the “Performance” section
3. Click on “+ new” and choose “page” from the dropdown list and type the URL of a blog post or page on your website. Click “apply”

Now you see all the keywords and search volumes of these keywords that are bringing your page traffic.
Optimize your page to include these keywords. Prioritize the keywords with the highest search volumes!

Write Testimonials To Get Backlinks

You may be using different services for your start-up. Hosting service, brand alerts service, or any type of service.
What you can do is reach out to your service providers and give them a testimonial.
If they include your website and testimonial on their testimonials page, you get an easy backlink.

5/15/24 co CEO Fortress announces closure of Fortress Mgt buyback from Softbank. Now Fortress is ready to roll at Novation Co NOVCQ a public company hidden by SEC Rule 15c2-11 with partners co investors Mass Mutual & sub Barings aka Babson Capital, Jefferies $JEF & White Mountain’s Capital $WTM & NOVCQ Board of Directors Barry Igdaloff’s Howard Amster & Whitney Tilson, Chuck Gillman, Jeffrey Eberwein, David Pointer, Tim Eriksen, Lee Keddie & Robert Pearse. These people are all connected and their 3 NOVCQ restructuring are all connected and advised by 3 third party professionals TPP Boulay Group, Olshan Law, Shapiro Sher. These TPP are no different then Sullivan Cromwell aiding the FTX scheme.
https://www.pionline.com/alternatives/fortress-mubadala-complete-acquisition-fortress-investment-group
World Leading Investors Fortress, EJF Capital aka FBR, MassMutual Barings, Jefferies, White Mountains Capital $WTM are about to create BILLIONS in Capital plus Hundreds of Millions in Cash Flow every year. This is how Whitney Tilson's pals Chuck Gillman, Jeff Eberwein and their co-investors siege control of Novation Companies $NOVC. Use SEC Rule 15C(2)-11 to drive share price down, while taking 16M or 10% of stock at pennies as partial board compensation. Equipped with 40M common shares of NOVCQ they are ready to make Billions plus Create $100Ms every year in cash flow in dividends/Mgt Fees. They have a world class roster of investors supporting them including; MassMutual Barings/Jefferies 40M and Fortress/EJF Capital 31.3M NOVCQ common shares (EJF formerly FBR is owned by White Mountains Capital $WTM). Fortress/EJF Capital also own $NOVCQ only Sr Debt to exit their 1st Ch 11 MD and was used in 2nd Ch 11 in DE filed 8/13/2024. Fortress/EJF invested a few thousand dollars in Off Balance Sheet entities Taberna Trups CDOs I & II/Kodiak CDO I, that hold NOVCQ only Sr Debt. After the 1st Ch 11 NOVCQ Board of Director Barry Igdaloff, Howard Amster hands Fortress/EJF Capital 31M shares allocated by Board at zero basis. This proves NOVCQ Board of Directors was not independent from Sr Debt Holders Fortress/EJF Capital. Sr Debt was a ruse including its use in DE Ch 11. DE Ch 11 was carefully crafted to provide short sellers a way to take tax free gains. The Board with little cash invested holds control of this former NYSE MREIT Novastar Financial Inc. traded under MREIT NYSE Exemption $NFI now Novation $NOVCQ.
Per WSJ Wesley Edens of Fortress is the new MREIT Subprime KING after restructuring Mr. Cooper $COOP and OMF One Main aka LEAF AIG and Citi Bank Subprime CaPersonal Lending unit, and RITM/NRZ and Dynex Capital DX. Manny Friedman Founder of EJF Capital formerly FBR Friedman, Billings Ramsey, is regarded as a leading MREIT expert. They control Novation Companies Inc. NOVCQ thanks to $NOVCQ Board of Directors who they have a past relationship. They renamed Novastar Financial Inc. former traded NSYE as $NFI to Novation Companies, which owns MREIT Novastar Financial Inc., renamed Novastar Mortgage inside 2nd Ch 11 in DE. A new 8-Member Board is waiting in the wings with new name/symbol. I have been told they have big plans for NOVCQ only operating unit http://healthcare-staffing.com HCS which owns and conceals Medmasa http://medmasa.com
I believe they will merge HCS/Medmasa with Jeff Eberwein Hudson Global $HSON to create quarter billion tax free BPO public company. Jeffrey Eberwein is the former NOVCQ COB/CEO that managed 1st Ch 11 in MD with Shapiro Sher. Eberwein is now COB/CEO of Hudson Global $HSON. This merger will monetize NOVCQ $730M NOLs just like both CH 11 the 1st in Maryland, MD & 2nd or last in Delaware, DE. Both used Sr Debt as ruse to execute both Ch 11s which have gone to great length to save NOVCQ $730M NOLs. 2022 NOVCQ triggered SEC Rule 15c(2)-11 which allows NOVCQ to remain public but conceals who is buying NOVCQ as only Expert Investors can accumulate NOVCQ like Putnam Inv. Goldman Sachs, Blackrock & David Dreman of Dreman Value Mgt. and Thomas Akin Talkot Capital fund owns 1.9M common. This SEC Rule is postured as way for small public company to remain public and not have the cost burden of SEC filings. What it really does is stops Retail bid/ask and allows Expert Investors in the know to front run a public company before rolling out true reorganization plans.
They are ready to change Novation Co $NOVCQ name and brand so as to eliminate any reference to the prior board or brand. This is how they roll. I believe they will present the new name/symbol and 8-Member Board comprised of Fortress, EJF Capital aka FBR people once Fortress Management close Softbank SALE of Fortress (DONE See Top 5/15/24 Announcement) to them and Mubadala Investment Company ex Fortress executive Rajeev Misra. Whitney Tilson close small cap co-investors Chuck Gillman, Jeff Eberwein are at the center. I’ve been told they do nothing but sure things. Former George Soros Investments Portfolio Mgr. Jeff Eberwein Wharton MBA, is ready to take $NOVC http://medmasa.com conceal behind http://healthcare-staffing.com & $730M NOLs. This 8-Member Board connected to past Board Members Jeff Eberwein, Chuck Gillman, Barry Igdaloff, Howard Amster I believe will merge Medmasa/HCS with Hudson Global $HSON (see Jefferey Eberwein Form 4s at $HSON & Form 4s filed at NOVCQ between April-Oct 2015 via his fund Lone Star Value Mgt.). Jeff Eberwein & his clan including Whitney Tilson/Chuck Gillman were introduced to the present day NOVCQ Board Barry Igdaloff, Howard Amster. Wes Edens, Founder of Fortress hide their identity behind Off Balance Sheet OBE Entities Taberna Trups CDOs I and II and former FBR Friedman, Billings, Ramsey now called http://EJFCap.com also hide their identity behind OBE Kodiak CDO I.
Fortress/EJF own at the same time both the only Sr Debt to exit 1st Ch 11 MD and months afterward 31M NOVCQ common (9M NOVCQ common shares plus 22.250M Ten Year Warrants. There are co-conspirators with NOVCQ board of directors that own 40M NOVCQ Common & MassMutual & Jefferies own 40M NOVCQ common shares. Novation Companies Inc. $NOVCQ submerged shareholder plans and value under SEC Rule 15c(2)-11 to sub penny stock that can only be traded today by Expert Investors defined by this SEC Rule. Fortress/EJF Capital paid almost nothing for OBEs yet they have spent at least $2M cash in the last Ch 11 in DE. They have every reason to do something big.
I believe that something will be splitting NOVCQ into two tax free public companies worth BILLIONS plus Hundreds of Millions in annual cash flow in MREIT Dividends & Lucrative Mgt Fees just like Fortress did a LEAF/One Main OMF, Newcastle that is New Residential $NRZ now Rithm Capital $RITM and $GCI formerly New Media NEWM and New Senior $SNR sold for over $2B. $RITM aka $NRZ in 2019 10K documented that shareholders paid Fortress over $250M in Mgt Fees annually, plus dividends. Fortress terminated the NRZ/RITM Mgt Deal for cool $400M (simultaneously changing Name/Symbol to Rithm Capital $RITM). NOVCQ Dark Horse are their plans for NOVCQ only operating unit HCS aka Medmasa http://medmasa.com concealed by CH 11 in DE. Medmasa NOVCQ only operating unit is http://healthcare-staffing.com NOVCQ former MREIT NYSE $NFI now named Novastar Mortgage is the Board, EJF Capital and Fortress ticket to monetizing rights (see Exhibit 2.1 of Q3 2007 10Q Service Rights Transfer Agreement Sec 5.04 that defines these rights as Cleanup Call Rights CCR well know to these MREIT experts) that control billions of rich, seasoned collateral assets ideal to be leveraged and securitized into MREIT dividend & like RITM aka NRZ another external management fee for Fortress and/or EJF. Fortress/EJF Capital then FBR did this with NOVCQ Board Barry Igdaloff, Howard Amster 2000-03 at Dynex Capital NYSE $DX. Ask Igdaloff helpers Thomas Akin former CEO/COB of DX he holds 1.9M of NOVCQ in his fund Talkot Capital. Thomas Bruce Akin sat on DX Board for years with NOVCQ Chairman Igdaloff. Igdaloff served 20 years on DX Board per DX 8K 9/3/2020.This is your chance to do what is right. ====================================== ALTERNATIVES
May 15, 2024 12:04 PM

Fortress, Mubadala complete acquisition of Fortress Investment Group

LYDIA TOMKIWERIN ARVEDLUND

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Drew McKnight and Joshua Pack
Fortress Investment Group, an alternatives manager, and Mubadala Investment Co., the investment arm of Abu Dhabi’s $276 billion sovereign wealth fund, completed their acquisition deal May 15, and as part of the close, Fortress management now owns a 32% equity interest.
Mubadala owns the remaining 68%. The acquisition, through Mubadala Capital, is for the 90.01% of Fortress equity that was held by SoftBank Group Corp., according to a news release. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.

RELATED ARTICLE

Mubadala seeks co-investors for Fortress in effort to clear U.S. security review SoftBank-Fortress deal turns attention to future arrangements with private equity firms
Fortress’s sale of majority equity was approved by the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States after concessions were made to let Fortress keep data and technology in the U.S., the Financial Times first reported last week.
Fortress, which had $48 billion in assets under management at the end of 2023, said it expects the new joint venture to help it further establish itself in credit and real estate in both public and private markets. Fortress pointed to Mubadala Capital’s global network to help expand client relationships.
“This is a true landmark event for Fortress, for our employees and for the clients we serve,” said Fortress co-CEOs Drew McKnight and Joshua Pack, adding, “We have strengthened alignments of interest, put significant management skin in the game, and deepened our long-term partnership with Mubadala, one of the world’s most highly regarded investors.”
As part of Fortress management now owning a 32% equity interest, its management is entitled to appointment of a majority of board seats. McKnight, Pack and managing partner Jack Neumark were the largest individual investors in the buyout and were joined by about 150 members of the firm.
Mubadala Capital’s CEO and managing director, Hani Barhoush, continues to serve on the Fortress board, a position he has held since 2019 when Mubadala initially invested.
Fortress will continue to operate as an independent investment manager under its own brand and with full autonomy over its investment process and personnel.

1. ALTERNATIVES

The Old Machine

By Angel Arevalo
The first time I saw the old machine was as Benny’s father closed his study door to us. It was already a relic then, a heap of beige plastic from a bygone era. The monitor was a beige box with a screen made of thick glass. It must have weighed a ton. It sat odious on the rectangular beige case that contained its thinking guts. Peripherals included a keyboard, a mouse, and a phone.
The phone was not a flat screened supercomputer the way the phones of today are. It was a simple speaker and receiver, with a rotating dial instead of buttons. Technically it was capable of making calls from a connected landline, but this was not its true purpose. Its true purpose was to make communication between the internet and the old machine possible. It did this through the magic of sound. According to Benny, who heard it from his father, the data from the internet came in the form of audible sound. Once it was called, the phone could be placed on a stand from which the old machine could “hear” the signals and translate them back into binary code.
My imagination stirred at the idea of “hearing” the internet. I could put something tangible to the invisible force that allowed me to watch endless streams of videos, or chat with friends from around the world. Benny probably more than me. He lived with the damn thing. However it was off limits.
As much as we wanted to hear the internet, Benny’s father would not have it. His study was entirely forbidden to us, and on the few occasions when he had allowed us entry to give us a word of sage advice or to admonish us for childish antics, he would use himself as a physical barrier between us and the old machine. His physical language was such that neither Benny or I had ever thought to ask for permission. Neither of us believed he would even consider the idea, and the most likely outcome would be that he would make it all that much harder to do so behind his back.
So we waited. Bided our time. As children, this was all that was afforded to us.
This forced patience paid off.
There came a very unusual day in Benny’s house. Often it was Benny’s mother who was charged with the daily maintenance of the household, but outstanding circumstances meant that she was forced to take the day off. If I remember correctly it was to do with Benny’s grandmother, but that is neither here nor there. The important thing is that Benny’s father had to take over the daily run of the house. Part of that was buying the groceries for that night's dinner, so here was a rare moment where the house and the study would be left completely unattended.
The moment we heard his father’s car leave the driveway, we were on it.
The door to his father’s study, where the old machine was kept, was locked, but we accounted for this. Benny had been practicing opening the locks around his house, and they were all the same make and model. Benny stuck the finer end of a hairpin into the keyhole and opened the lock as quickly as if he had the key.
The door swung open, and perched on the desk, was the old machine, in all its pristine beige glory.
It was a comically frightful thing, that heap of beige plastic. It sat there, decades old at least, and yet the casing showed no sign of yellowing. The screen, which showed that it was turned off, was a yawning black abyss; and the deadly silence of the room was disturbed by something that was not quite tangible, but an almost physical mental pressure, like gentle psychic breathing. The pressure was such that you could feel it in the base of your skull, and much more lightly, around your head and in your ears. It made one feel as if they were in the presence of a great monster, and not, in fact, an old beige box of outdated electronics.
“C’mon,” said Benny, stepping into the room. Evidently I had been stuck in place for some time. Benny on the other hand seemed much less wary than me. He scampered forward, smiling as he pulled back his fathers study chair so he could stand on it and reach the strange phone with its rotating dial.
Not nearly as brave, and suddenly three times more cautious, I stood back as he picked up the phone to “listen” to the internet. Depending on how you view it, the phone was luckily, or rather “unluckily”, in its translation stand, meaning that it was at that time communicating with the internet. Benny’s face twisted uncomfortably before breaking into a giddy smile.
“Ooh!” he said, smiling. “That’s creepy!”
He held it to his ear like that for a minute or so, wrinkling his nose from time to time before smiling again and throwing me a conspiratorial smirk. His giddy enthusiasm, despite the sound being what he called “creepy” seemed to calm me down some. Benny always had a way of doing that to me. Suddenly I was excited. He saw this, and offered me his place on his father’s seat.
“Here,” he said, still smirking. “It’s terrible!”
I took his place on the seat, and picked up the phone. It was heavier than I expected. Heavier than any smart phone I had ever held. It was like picking up the lighter end of an animal’s meaty tail. I felt a sudden hesitation, but Benny was still brimming with joy, goading me to have a listen.
I put the phone to my ear, and heard whispers. Surprised, I let the phone slip out of my hands to clatter to the floor.
They had been quiet whispers, barely audible, but audible they were. The whispers painted a picture for me. A sticky red room. A friend, here but not here. I saw the old machine in a new home, and with a new keeper, a willing thrall.
I think Benny would have laughed at me if he had not also been struck stupid in that same moment. Standing in the doorway of his study was his father.
It is difficult to speak ill of the dead, which is funny, because it’s not like they care, but that’s just the way of things. Benny’s father had always been a kind man. If not a kind man then certainly a dutiful father. He was always there for Benny, always there to give a word of wisdom or a consoling hug, but on occasion there was a glint of something sinister behind his eyes. It appeared sporadically, mostly during conversations with other adults. Somewhere in the middle of a conversation between the tragic loss of a child in another state or several towns over, or in discussing the statistic and calculus of death such as a mass shooting, that furtive sparkle behind his eye would manifest, and he would become, for a fraction of a second, someone else. That spark was there now, and it was aimed at me.
Benny’s father saw that I had the phone in my hand. He saw his boy beside me, and that spark behind his eye turned into a barely controlled flame. There was so much hate there.
“Benjamin,” he said in a deathly calm voice, in a heavily restrained voice. “Please tell me you didn’t let your friend here talk you into picking up that phone.”
“He didn’t, dad, he didn’t,” answered Benny.
“Did you pick up the phone too?”
“Of course not dad,” Benny lied.
Relief washed over his father’s face. He ran past the threshold of the study and knelt down to wrap his arms around his boy. He then looked at me.
“Get out,” he said quietly, nearly on the verge of tears. Then again, louder, “GET OUT!”
I was still too stunned to move, even after the second shout, but then Benny’s father rose– with Benny still in his hands. The menace I felt. I bolted from the study, running past Benny and his father.
I learned from Benny at school the next day that we weren’t allowed to play together anymore. Benny’s father didn’t even want to see me anywhere near him. It was ridiculous. We were neighbors for crying out loud! Benny was my best friend, who else was I going to play with? And for what? But it didn’t matter. Benny’s father had made his decree, and Benny had to abide. At least we still had school. Benny’s father couldn’t dictate who he spoke to there.
Benny and I sulked for that whole school day, unable to enjoy the little time we were going to have together. We sulked like that together at school for ages. And in this way, the strange whispers that we heard in the phone were almost forgotten, overshadowed by our forced separation.
Every day after school I hoped and prayed that my exile from Benny’s home would end, and in a roundabout and terrible way, my prayers were answered.
A year later, Benny was pulled from class, after which he disappeared for a week. His home, which was next to mine, sat dark and empty. For a whole week I heard nothing from him, not any social platform or messaging medium. When I finally did hear from him, it was no longer Benny. It was the shell of a person that had once been a child. It was Benny, aged eons.
The broken shell that had been Benny stumbled into class. He said nothing, and looked at no one. It wasn’t until lunch period that I finally got anything out of him, and when I did, I don’t think I could ever have been ready to hear it.
That day that Benny had been pulled out of class was the day that his mother had been arrested for the murder of his father. She was found in his study, and according to police, was basically mid act. How the police were alerted so quickly as to show up with the crime in progress was never fully revealed to Benny personally, but news coverage afterwards revealed that an anonymous tip had arrived at the police station.
Benny’s mother would stand by her innocence until the very end, but the fact that she was witnessed by police in the middle of committing the act made it indefensible. Her trajectory to the lethal injection room was one of the swiftest the state had ever seen.
It was tragic. Benny was out both parents, and it was all the more tragic because Benny didn’t have any other family. His last grandparent had passed the year prior. He was due to go into foster care, but God bless my parents, because they took him in. Benny got to stay in town, with a family that loved him nearly as much as his own had.
Benny stayed in my life, it was the reverse of what had happened the year prior when his father had found us listening to the internet on the old machine. Now Benny was in my life more than ever, but also not.
Physically he was there. Benny and I shared a room, and we hung out all the time. Mentally, or perhaps even spiritually, Benny just wasn’t with me anymore. His soul was in some godsforsaken elsewhere. His inner self was closed off to me. My mind didn’t have the words or wisdom to say what was wrong, only that despite being around him nearly 24 hours a day, he felt absent.
It wasn’t until later, much later, years later really, when Benny and I were well into our teens that I felt like I saw the real him again. His home, and everything in it, the things that had once been his father’s, were his. He’d never cared much about that. He’d never even mentioned his not exactly meager inheritance beyond the vague idea that he supposed he would move into his old home once he became an adult. Other than that he made no mention of his old home, which sat dim and forgotten next to mine. He hadn’t so much as stepped inside of it since he left for school on the day of the murder.
But one day, on the porch, while the sun was beginning to die on the horizon, Benny asked me if I would go into his old house with him. We were pushing seventeen, and college bound so I supposed at the time that he was seeking a kind of closure. Despite the vast chasm that Benny’s depression had carved between us, I wanted to be there for my best friend, so I agreed to go along with him.
Once we were at his old doorstep, Benny produced a small, unopened, envelope. He tore it open, and produced a key that he used to open the door to his old home. I watched him do this and felt a pang in my heart that was something more than sadness. I didn’t have a name for it. I just knew that it was coming from Benny. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Benny looking behind him to see me, and flashing me the barest hint of a smile that was filled with the same sadness that panged in my chest a moment ago. It was the tiniest crease on the corner of his mouth, but it broke me. That crease was the most genuine thing I’d gotten from him in years.
I wish I had been brave enough to cry, but I swallowed those tears. Drowned out all emotion, because I thought that was what the burgeoning man I wanted to become would have done.
We entered the house, which was dark and smelled awful. There was a rot in there that had settled into the very foundation.
“Augh,” I let out, “what is that?”
“I– Uhm… I don’t now.” That’s what he said, but something told me that he did know. He just didn’t want to say it out loud for some reason.
In my role as supportive best friend, I still hadn’t asked why Benny had wanted to come back here. So I decided to do that then, but as he ascended up the stairs I knew there was only one destination he had in mind. His father’s study. The old machine.
I kept my mouth shut, but I wonder sometimes if maybe I should have started protesting. I wonder if maybe I should have dragged Benny back out the door, kicking and screaming, but those are just what ifs and meaningless regrets. Even if I dragged him out then and there, so what? He would just come back without me. If I had barred him in any way he would just choose a different time and place, and he would be doing it alone. No. I had no choice. It was inevitable. There’s no stopping the inevitable. So I did nothing.
We ascended up the stairs together. The smell of deep seeded rot grew heavier. It was in the stairs, in the walls, in wood and the furniture. Apart from the smell, everything looked normal, as if frozen in time. I could practically envision us running down the hallway playing tag.
That changed in the study.
Benny and I reached the door. Yellow police tape from when this was an active crime scene was still there. The rot was strongest here. Had the site of the murder never been cleaned?
As Benny turned the knob I swallowed back some anxious energy, and stowed it away in the same place that I threw that soul breaking pang in my heart.
Inside we found the desk, the books shelves, his father’s office chair. All of it was as it once was, except that now every inch of it was covered in a film of something that was muddy red. The sticky red room.
There was only one part of the study that was disturbingly clean of the muddy red source of the rot. The old machine.
It sat perched on the desk, slumbering and waiting. It was pristine. Its comically mundane beige casing was clean, and every piece and peripheral like the keyboard and attached phone were in mint condition. It was alien, how clean it was compared to everything else in the room.
Benny took a heavy breath, and stepped forward. He approached the old machine, examining it in the dying light of the sun.
“I’m going to need your help carrying this back home,” he said.
This would have been my second opportunity to say “no”. I should have, but again, why? All it would mean was another trip or two for him on his lonesome, and then I would just be the friend that bailed out on him halfway through something that seemed very important for him. So I said “okay.”
We gathered up the odd ends of the old machine. Benny carried the monitor, and I carried the thinking guts, and between us we shared the weight of the peripherals.
Once we were home, Benny got to work putting the thing back together. He seemed to fly into a manic fugue state. He worked rapidly to put the old machine together, connecting every odd end, beginning to sweat as he did so. His eyes became deranged, and then suddenly, with only the power cord left to plug in, he stopped.
He stared into the black abyss of the old machine’s monitor, and did nothing for a long minute that stretched out into eternity. Benny put the power cord down and shoved it into a box. I didn’t question this. If anything I was relieved. I hadn’t realized it until just then, but as Benny was putting the thing together I had started to feel a deadly pressure building in the back of my skull. I didn’t dare ask why he stopped, worried that I might accidentally reignite his resolve.
Together we chose to forget the old machine. Or so I thought.
The last few months of our senior year passed, and they were the best months I’d had with Benny in a long long while. I think collecting that beige heap of plastic, that old machine, it had brought something to a close for him. Whether it was simple catharsis or something more I’ll never know, but I’ll cherish those last few months for the rest of my life. It was the last I’d ever see of Benny again.
With college came real distance, and although we kept in touch through video and text, we never met in person, the times just never lined up. Benny was his own man, and although it brought a small amount of heartbreak to my parents that their adoptive son never seemed to find the time to visit them, they were more than anything glad to see that he at least seemed to be enjoying life. That was definitely the facade he sold on social media.
It was at the start of my second year at college that I got the first wisp that something was wrong with Benny. He sent me something, a file that I couldn’t open, in a format that I didn’t recognize. I thought it must be some kind of obscure meme, but when I couldn’t decipher it, I got a pit in my stomach and I sent him a brisk “wtf?”
He never replied.
It was the last of anything I would ever get from Benny personally. A few weeks later my parents contacted me to tell me that Benny had killed himself.
What followed was a rapid procession of life. That I somehow managed to continue to turn in my school work for the next week or so, was a fact. That I then used the following fall break to attend Benny’s funeral was also true. Mixed in there was a meeting with a lawyer that let me know that I was the sole inheritor of Benny’s estate. This all happened, and I have a very superficial recollection of it all. But in truth I was half a ghost myself. My body– no –my soul, had gone into a form of catatonia. I became an unchanging statue, a rock in the ever flowing stream of life. Things happened, but they seemed to flow past me in a ceaseless stream of almost memories.
On the last day of the fall semester, in a fit of pique depression, looking for something to occupy the void of my soul, I remembered the message that Benny had sent me. I redoubled my efforts to decipher the unknown file type, and scoured the internet for a decoder or playback device that would be able to read it for me. Eventually I stumbled on the answer. It was a type of sound file. With that information it was surprisingly simple to find an app to play it back.
I brought the file over to my phone, and loaded it into the app, and hit play. What came out were whispers. I dropped my phone like it was made of hot iron. The phone clattered to the floor, but kept playing the whispers, which remained just at the edge of audibility no matter how far away I retreated from them.
When it finished playing I was relieved. I also realized I had understood none of it. Unlike the whispers I had heard in my childhood, these had been unintelligible. I tried them again, but although I could hear something I could make out nothing. But I knew a way that I could. The old machine.
The next opportunity I got, I went home. I went back up to my room to look for the old machine, but of course it wasn’t there. It hadn’t been there for a long time. Benny had taken it with him when he went his own way during college. I had to ask my parents to help me find it, and they directed me to the garage, where boxes of Benny’s old things were piled up. Things he had taken with him and things that he had acquired while he was away at college. The old machine was packed into one of those boxes, with a sticky note on the screen. A phone number, possibly left there by Benny himself.
I took the box up to my old room and got to work putting the old machine back together. Slowly it came alive, and bit by bit I felt that dreadful pressure building in the base of my skull. As I connected the monitor to the thinking guts I felt a spark of awareness, as if I was suddenly in danger or being watched. As I connected the peripherals, the pressure around my skull grew heavier and I began to sweat. The feeling only intensified as I plugged the thing into the power, and it came to a pique when I finally connected the strange phone stand to the internet. It’s alive! Gods of all faith and creed, help me! It’s alive!
I turned it on.
The screen lit up, and I noticed that I’d forgotten to remove the sticky note that had been placed there. I ripped it off and crumpled it in my palm as I watched the old machine finish its startup sequence.
I’m not sure what I expected. I certainly hadn’t expected it to feel so normal, or look so mundane. The operating system was definitely proprietary but other than that it felt no more alien than Windows, or Apple. Navigating it felt as natural as anything.
I found the program that would allow me to interpret the whisper recording on my phone. It was the same one that would normally connect to the internet, except this time instead of letting the translator hear the bulky beige phone, I would put my smartphone up to the translator while the recording played. I did this, and for a few tense moments nothing seemed to happen, and then I noticed that something had been downloaded onto the desktop.
The file was called “Dad(1)” and for a moment I felt like an idiot. The “(1)” appearing after the word “Dad” suggested that a version of this file was already downloaded, and of course it would be, this was probably where Benny had sent me the file from. I checked the now translated file and saw that it was a video. The thumbnail showed a man sitting at his desk.
Benny’s dad.
My hand trembled as it reached for the mouse, and clicked on the video.
The video was a top down perspective of the study, and it started at 100, there was no buildup or context to what was happening on the screen. Benny’s father was skinning himself alive. The footage of it was grainy, and was twice as disturbing for it, because the more skin that Benny’s father peeled off the more grainy red pixels appeared on screen.
It was difficult to tell how much of this Benny’s father was doing of his own volition. Heavily pixelated expressions of agony played on his face. He twisted and squirmed, he writhed in pain and appeared to yell into the ceiling as he striped reels of flesh from his arm, and then his legs, and then his chest, and on and on. I couldn’t look away. As much as I wanted to look away I couldn’t, I was forced to watch by my own horribly morbid fascination. God help me. No. God forgive me. I. could. Not. Look. Away.
It was Benny’s father’s twisted and pained flailing that covered the study in blood, leaving the room red and sticky. How he produced so much blood, and in fact, how he had been able to remain conscious this whole time was a mystery to anyone. The act didn’t stop until a light appeared from offscreen, and then suddenly Benny’s mother barged into the study to see her screaming husband. He tried to skin her alive as well, but she fought back. They began to wrestle each other, slipping in the wet puddle of his blood. Soon the blood itself stopped being the worst thing on display, as the father’s viscera began to spill out of him, the membrane that had held it together inside his abdomen splitting open in the tussle. It was an awful scene, and still, I couldn’t look away.
The fight continued like that for some time. With the two of them on the ground, fighting for control of the knife that the father had used to skin himself alive. Even with half the father spilt and spread around the room it was a hard won victory for Benny’s mother. She finally managed to wrestle the knife away from the dying man, and plunged it into his chest, just as shadows appeared from the direction of the doorway. The mother broke down as police aimed their guns at her, and then the video ended.
“Did you like it?” appeared in text over the end of the video.
“What the fuck?” I remember saying out loud.
Why hadn’t Benny turned this in? I thought. His mom was dead, sure, but why not clear her name? Why hadn’t he told me straight away what he’d found? Why had he– I didn’t let myself ask that last question. Instead I unclenched my palm, and looked at the crumpled sticky note. If there was a logical answer to any of this, then maybe it was on the other end of that number. That’s what I told myself anyway.
I put my phone away, and picked up the phone attached to the old machine. It took a few tries to get the method of dialing correct– I’d never used a rotary style phone before, and I didn’t know how to spin the wheel to “dial” the number that I needed, but I managed it. The phone rang for a bit, and then the whispers started to erupt from whatever black beyond I called.
I placed the phone on the translator, and on the monitor, the desktop came alive. The old machine’s proprietary web browser opened and landed on a bare bones white webpage. It reminded me somewhat of a dark web directory.
The dark web isn’t as difficult to navigate as you might think. The difference between a dark web site and a regular one is that dark web sites are unlisted, meaning they don’t show up on search engines, and often they require special browsers and specific URLs. Those URLs are usually kept on some kind of surface web directory. This looked a lot like that. A list of URLs ran down the bare bones page in a ladder of blue.
They were hyperlinks, all of them, and one of them stood out to me immediately.
“Do you want to see how he did it?” It read.
It shouldn’t have freaked me out. There was no way that link could be talking about Benny, which is where my mind went first. There was simply no way.
So I clicked it. And I guess… there was. Somehow there was a way.
I won’t say what I saw. It wasn’t nearly as graphic as his father’s death. In that sense it wasn’t nearly as “interesting”, but even still I can’t bring myself to recount it. It’s too personal. In that way it was much much worse, so much worse. The look in his eyes… despair. There was something almost beautiful about it.
No.
There was something beautiful about it.
At the end of the video, a familiar message popped up.
“Did you like it?”
A box beneath the video asked for a reply. I typed one in.
“Do you want to see more?”
Another box. Another reply.
I saw more.

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
​
NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
​
AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
​
OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

Throwaway because I only lurk on reddit. I'm 27, the girl was 24. Dated for 2 months.
Like I don't know where to even begin. I even have no idea why am I writing this but I just feel so ultimately broken that it hurts in a way that I thought is impossible. I feel so empty, like I wanna cry and scream but there are no tears and there is just silence and me staring at the wall and having thousands of thoughts at once and I'm not sure what to do about it.
I started dating this cutest girl on March and everything was as smooth as a butter. We met on an app. I knew she has attatchment issues and etc but I was patient and honest and wanted to wait with physical stuff because she mentioned its important for her to feel comfortable and stuff and I was very understanding as always and thought that I finally found someone who has the same approach to relationship and wants to build something on honesty and go with the flow, don't force anything and so on. I did not want to rush anything and we were going at our own steady pace. I never want to do any physical stuff very early on in the relationship, we only did some light stuff, like kissing, touching each other above the waist and such. Very "polite". We both communicated our goals, relationship-wise and such. We both wanted the same thing, a life partner. We both said we are monogamous and we just need one person and no one else and everything was peachy.
So we always were on good terms in person but texting was a bit of a struggle, we usually had fights (like twice) on texting apps (never in person though). Time spent IRL though was like the best time possible for both of us and we were super comfy with each other like I never felt before actually.
Now, there was a time (like 2 weeks) when we didn't see each other at all. During that time we had one of those fights she gave me silent treatment for like 3 days. Now I think this is passive aggressive manipulation technique which is a deal breaker to me. But I thought "damn this girl is really cool besides that little issue, I'll give her a chance, maybe she's just stressed out or something". It went on for like 3-4 days and we started talking again and it was good.
The fight was about something we were supposed to talk about IRL (and I panicked because it sounded very serious) but then she mentioned it was just that she won't be able to spend a day with me in next month (a specific, special day that we were supposed to spend with each other). Not a big deal and I was suspicious that this was the thing she wanted to talk in person. She mentioned "I have no idea what is your approach to these things" when I asked what she wanted to talk about in person (before we had fight) and it keeps ringing a bell now - I'll explain later. We met up later after making up and, we have good time, everything felt right, idk. The fight was caused by me because apparently I "freaked out" (because I've never heard good news in my life when I've heard "we have to talk" from someone I'm dating).
I won't mention that she was talking like relationship is a huge step and she isnt sure about it and she wants to go at her own pace and things like that. I was okay with that, I was affectionate and she was usually cold towards that saying that she doesnt want to get attatched and similar things and at the same time talking dirty to me sometimes. I also should mention that she has a ton of guy friends.
Then we had another fight about some stupid thing like before too. Like basically meaningless stuff that did not matter at all. It ended with her not messaging me for 6 days straight and I just got tired and deleted her everywhere besides one app because if she acts like a child so be it. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Like 1-2 hours after I have done that she messages me like nothing happens. I am 100% sure its not a coincidence and she only messaged me because she noticed that. And then she mentions that I deleted her everywhere and how nice it is of me. Then I just told her that I don't see us having a future because she keeps using silent treatment which is a deal breaker to me. And she laughs at me saying that I was not on silent treatment (though we ended last convo on a fight) and I'm a clingy insecure incel or something like that. I was over it anyway since the last fight and didn't feel a thing so we just had few messages back and forth - I was trying to be as polite as possible, she was trying quite the opposite. Then she blocked me. Then she unblocked me after 20 minutes. Just to mention that now she does not regret having sex with her "situationship" 2 weeks ago.
The "situationship" is like a close guy friend that had a crush on her but she rejected him. She had multiple of those. She had more guy friends than I have lol. She had multiple of exes with which she was still very close and friendly. At the same time she says she only slept only with one guy ever (its not like it matters but Im pretty sure it was a lie now). I'm not jealous or anything. I am just scared that this is the type of girls I will be seeing now in the future. It's like 3rd time I'm seeing someone like that. I know we didn't promise each other anything but we became close and we dated exclusively and she had sex with someone (and felt guilty about it for a reason).
I was over it yesterday and didn't want to date her anyway but now it's like somebody stabbed me multiple times in my stomach and twisted the knife badly. I feel physically ill, I didn't eat since that conversation and it was like 5 hours ago. I just don't know what to do with myself. Are those girls the only girls that will date me? Can I for once be a first option for someone and not just a spare part? I'm just so sad, man, I wish someone would just hug me and tell me it's okay to cry. I feel like vomiting after finding out she was seeing me and kissing me after having sex with a guy 2 weeks before.
I just can't stand how she intentionally decided to hurt me in the worst way possible, I wish she didn't say that but at the same time I deserve the truth though. But it was said like "in your face, bitch, I had sex with someone when we were dating and that wasn't you, you loser".
"I have no idea what is your approach to these things" rings a bell now. Because she said it like 3 days after she fucked that "friend" of hers. So she felt guilty because she knew that she has done something shitty. She gave me specific date when they had sex and it all adds up. She lied to me. Multiple times apparently. She didn't know what is my approach to those things meaning she did not know how I would react to "oh i had sex with someone else". And she only informed me about it when we had a huge fight. So she never thought about me seriously and just wasted my time.
By the way - throughout those 2 months I saw multiple times her pics on dating profile change, her bio change, her location change and other details about her change in the app. Constantly. Like every 10 days or so there was a small change. It's not like I was checking it every hour but like once every 2 weeks or so just to look at her mostly lol because I really liked looking at her.
I bought flowers for this girl. I was pouring compliment after compliment until she was blushing and almost cried with happiness. I was there for her mental breakdowns and I just always provided support, I was thinking about her all the time. I fucking bought a post card for her when I had small vacations. I wrote it specifically for her putting some easter eggs inside that only we both can laugh at. I almost told her that I love her and I only said that to 2 people in my life so far. We both assured each other multiple times that we are exclusive and we both don't want to date any other person and we want to keep dating each other and progress into relationship phase. I was doing literally anything I could thought of to make her feel secure and comfortable. Meanwhile she had sex with someone and stated that she doesn’t feel any guilt about it because we weren’t in the relationship. Like what? We were already going on dates, several dates. And she stated that she did „what a good friend would do”. Like I don’t really want to date anyone after reading all of that. How shitty can one person be?
Is there a chance that I will meet a girl who won't do things like this ever? This is like second time I'm going through some kind of infidelity stuff and it's just... I'm tired boss. My last relationship ended after 2 years because my gf was unfaithful. She basically was sleeping around and sexting multiple people. I just want to find my one and only and be the romantic guy who appreciates the other person 24/7 and is caring and loving and would do literally anything for that special someone. I want to see sunsets and sunrises and look into her eyes and think that I don't want to look into any other eyes. I want to fall in love so deeply that I literally want to spend each hour with that person. I am always honest, focused 100% on only the person I'm seeing and not seeing any other people around and not caring about any other "date opportunities" or stuff like that. She made me open up about things that previously took years for me to speak about. She gave me more compliments in those 2 months than I ever heard in my whole life previously. She made me feel loved. She made me feel wonderful, blissful. And at the same time she stabbed me multiple times and I bleed it out.
Like I have all these questions:

• How am I supposed to trust someone after such a betrayal when they have been acting so perfectly good to me and were so supportive, nice and "honest" all the time besides that one time where they cheated on me?
• Am I not worthy of loving?
• Not worthy of faithfulness?
• Not worthy of a proper communication?
• Not worthy of honesty?
• Does everybody lie? Why do people do this?
• Why do I have to go through all of these experiences one after another, can't like I have a good time with someone and hear that I'm great and it's all good but the vibe isn't quite there or something like that?
• Why do I always have to be hurt in the worst way possible? I've never broken up with anyone before. I always give chances and never lose hope unless something really bad happened.
• Will it ever stop?
• Will I have to keep living and experiencing more and more painful relations until I physically cannot take it anymore?
• Why have I never felt NOT alone throughout my life?
• Why is everyone I'm dating so toxic?
• What's the deal with dating world these days? There is always another option but that doesn't mean shitty behavior is acceptable or something.
• Why is that pain more powerful each time?
• Does loyalty even exist these days?
• Why. Just why. Jesus christ.

If you will read this – I know you use reddit – I wish you to never feel the way you made me feel. I’m absolutely destroyed, you ruined me. I told you that I trust you. You destroyed it. I will always have trust issues towards any woman in my life forever until I die. I hope you’re proud of your little manipulational psychological tricks and immature behaviour. Your actions always have consequences.

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ThrowRA-scarecrow. She posted in relationship_advice. Thank you to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for the original recommendation and to u/ivy5kin for letting me know about the update
Previous BORU here. New Updates (starting with one from a few months ago and ending with one 7 days old) marked with ****\*

Read trigger warnings

Trigger Warnings: infant abuse; spousal abuse; drug use; stalking; kidnapping attempt
Mood Spoiler: utterly terrifying and disturbing
Original Post: March 16, 2024
My husband (42m) and I (35f) tried for so long to have our boys and girl. Due to a health issue my husband suffered he developed fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our children because if we didn’t he’d probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them into the world and now he’s jealous and distant with them?
He’s constantly in competition with his own infant children. If I hold the children he gets frustrated. Any time they take my attention away he gets completely pissy. He’s always in a foul mood, irritable and just down right nasty. I don’t understand it. Why is he like this? Our children are barely 6 months and they won’t stop crying every time he’s near. I feel like they can sense his negativity. I tried talking to him. Ive suggested he take interest in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know it can sometimes take a little longer for parents to bond with their children but this is down right scary to experience. He’s full of jealousy and envy. He sees our children as competition to my time and affections.
A few times now he has made comments about feeling frustrated that I still breast feed our children. The thing is we mix feed so he has had ample opportunity to feed them and he just doesn’t. He also said that this (meaning our life&our marriage after children) wasn’t what he thought it would be like. I mean what did he expect? A singular baby cries and three of them cry a lot.
We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 7 years. He wanted these children. He pushed for them and now this. I never thought this would ever be me. I am scared. I am scared for my children. I have tried talking to him but he just brushes me off. I’ve suggested counseling. He refuses. He tells me it’s all in my head. I want to save this marriage but I am scared I won’t be able to and maybe it’s not worth saving.
He comes home later everyday. He avoids us on the weekends and any time he has off. I’m not ashamed to say that I went through his phone and there are a lot flirtatious text between him and a “Jessica”. I don’t think anything has happened between them but it sure looks like they are building up to it. I haven’t said anything because I’m afraid. Where do I go with three children, with no money and no family that can help me? I haven’t worked in two years and I’ve spent all my savings on having these children. My mind is in a complete meltdown. I can’t sleep I can’t think and I’m always exhausted.
What the hell happened? Is this him now forever?
Edit: Some of you are some real evil bastards ! Stop blaming me for him mistreating me! I do not deserve to be treated this way and neither do my kids! Stop messaging me evil things!
Relevant Comments:
Examples of 'competition':
If I’m with the kids and say I’m feeding them he gets upset I’m focusing on them and not him, or as he likes to say I’m fussing over them. He expects they sleep through the night and gets upset when I’m with them instead of in bed with him. He has even made weird comments about me loving them more than him.
Did he really want kids or did YOU want kids?
Due to my husband’s fertility issues he was the one pushing for us to have kids. He knew early on that he had a health condition and wanted us to have children way earlier but I asked if we could wait but then his condition worsened so we agreed to get treatment before he couldn’t have any kids. He desperately wanted to be a father and they are biologically ours. His desire to be a father was one of the qualities I liked about him when we started dating.
I’ve always worked and the plan was for me to stay home for the first 2/3 years and perhaps work part time until the kids were school aged. But that’s out the window now because I don’t want to ever be this vulnerable! I’ve been brushing off my cv and scouring the internet for a job. I will never allow myself to be this vulnerable again.
Does he help at ALL? Do you have a support system you could go to?
He doesn’t help me at all. I take care of our kids on my own. My parents are long gone and my sister is abroad. She stayed with us for the birth and a month after the children were born. She lives in France but she’s due to return home this summer. So I know I’ll have her help when she’s back. But I’m trying not to bother her as she’s going through a divorce.
I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. He says everything is in my head.
I’m actually even crying writing this but I do have a small to go bag in the trunk of my car. Just incase. I feel like I’m not being rational because he doesn’t hurt me or the kids but I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Like what happened to my happy go lucky husband? Who’s this person I’m afraid of?
Are they his biologically? Did you guys go to a support group for infertility treatment?
We didn’t use any sperm or egg donations. The kids are his and mine biologically.
We also went to a support group, two support groups actually. One of them was for couples and the other for men experiencing infertility. He also went to individual therapy to deal with his emotional issues around infertility.
Update Post: March 19, 2024 (3 days later)
Title: He’s (42m) been pinching my (35f) babies?
Thank you to the person who said I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely and frequently. Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice I caught him pinching my son!
While I was scrolling on here and replying to people I decided to check my baby monitor and I watched my husband enter our children’s room and insult them in a hushed and whispery tone. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them and wished them dead. Then he pinched my son and my baby boy didn’t even cry which made me think he’s done this many times before.
It all happened so fast and by the time I could make sense of what was happening on the monitor he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs. At the same time I had lept off the sofa and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs. We got into a physical and verbal altercation, we fought, argued and shouted for hours. I guess the police were called by the neighbors because the next thing I know the police are banging on my door. I explained the situation to the police and the officers said that they could not prove that my baby was harmed since he didn’t have a bruise and my baby monitor was only on live feed and not simultaneously recording. Eventually they got my husband to agree to pack a bag and leave. He left reluctantly.
He has since been blowing up my phone begging for forgiveness, talking about how he’s been depressed and stressed by the babies, and that his anxiety and jealousy got the best of him. I just responded once telling him to go fuck himself. I’ve also been in contact with a lawyer and she’s advised me to leave him unblocked incase he further incriminates himself. I don’t even recognize who this man is! Where did this all come from?
How did this happen? Has any other parent experienced this? How did you handle this?
Before y’all start jumping down my throat I am absolutely getting a divorce and I will do everything in my power to get full custody. I did take my children to our family doctor and they are in good health and there are no other signs of abuse. I’ve filled a report with the police and my lawyer is dealing with it. I’m also about to start the process of divorce.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: He just wants more and better access to his victims. This is someone who gets off on hurting children. Actual human beings who are stressed and depressed do not sneak around abusing children for their dopamine hits.

OOP: Exactly! I’m tired, stressed, depressed and I’m physically still not fully healed from the pregnancy and the cesarean birth but not once have I thought of hurting anyone let alone a baby! I don’t buy his bullshit excuses. He clearly knew what he was doing was wrong otherwise he wouldn’t have been sneaking around and being all hush hush. I do not believe him for one second. He’s a goddamn beastly man.

Update the monitor to one that records:
I’ve set the monitor up to record now! I’ve also ordered a home security system and will be installing it real soon!
On what OOP is doing to protect them:
I’m doing everything I can to protect them! This all happened a few days ago but I am in the process of getting a temporary restraining order. My lawyer is handling it and I understand it takes some time to actually get one and in the meantime I’ve been advised that I can just deny him visitation until he gets a judgement from the courts that forces me to grant him access to my babies but that takes time. So in the meantime he can’t force me or my babies to see him.
I’ve recorded every call and saved ever text. Literally documenting everything. Thankfully he’s saying and texting a goldmine of incriminating things that I hope would be sufficient information for a judge to give me and my babies a restraining/protective order and for family court to grant me primary and sole custody.
Did you tell him you saw the pinch?
Yes. He at first told me I was imagining things. Then switched to saying he was just frustrated our son wouldn’t go to sleep. Then he started saying that he was angry that our son was interrupting our “personal time” and that he was doing it on purpose because the other babies were asleep so why wasn’t he?
Honestly nothing he says makes sense to me. Like my baby boy was just laying there sleepy and he would’ve fallen back to sleep by himself that bastard actually woke him up with his pinching and insults.
He says he went in their room to check up on them and I call bullshit on that he went in there to torment my children. Who in their right mind whispers death to two sleeping babies and a another half asleep baby?!
Did he tell you that over phone or text?
This was on a call which I’ve recorded!
*****Update Post 2: April 10, 2024 (3 weeks after OG post)****\*
Title: How did it go so wrong? For my (36f) birthday he (42m) broke into the house?
Every conversation with him (42m) feels like I’m (36f) losing my mind. The only thing that has kept me semi-sane and able to track what he has been doing is my audio journal and my posts on here.
Last week it was my thirty sixth birthday. Actually I had forgotten it was my birthday and was reminded by my sister that it was in fact my birthday. I decided I couldn’t mope around the house and I got my kids dressed to go shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half of the groceries but my babies were fussy and so to tire them out and ready them for bed we went for a walk. When I got back home he was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I had left out. He greeted me and acted normal. I didn’t react because his entire demeanour was freaking me out so I played along. I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the front door but he was kind of anticipating it and so he was following me around and I thought in the moment that the best thing I could do was to get my kids upstairs and away from him. He said he wanted to talk and clear the air because this has “gone on too long”.
We had a long conversation and it started out reasonable but eventually spiralled out of control. We got into physical confrontation because I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and he, well hurt me. While he was hurting me I was still able to contact the police. It took them a excruciatingly long 20/25 minutes to get there.
So here I am sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip, swollen face,massive knots on my head and bruises all over. I don’t know what happened to my life or how I got here but here I am. I can’t even look my neighbors in the eyes. I can’t go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people.
I have never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt and so utterly stupid. I thought I made all the right choices in life. What did I do wrong? When did it all get so fucked? I mean I think I did everything right? Like I created a stable life for myself then picked a man that at time was a very loving partner, I married that man and waited five years before even going through the process of having children with him and now once I’ve had his children he’s just beating on me and our babies?
Edit: My sister is now aware of what’s been happening and she is supporting me as best as she can. I have plans to move out but since I’m not working right now I need some time to save up.
His family is also aware. His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child but they can’t deny this attack now that they’ve seen my bruises. Also yes he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother. He’s currently staying with his brother.
Relevant Comments:
I’m in contact with a dv organization that my lawyer has put me in contact with. I did have a locksmith come out and I have new locks. I also have a couple of safety locks for my windows, and security cameras around the house and I changed our security code but honestly he doesn’t give a shit.
He despite it all broke in and beat the living shit out of me.
Making the audio journal:
I really didn’t make my audio journal to use as evidence. I literally made it because he makes me feel like I’m insane! I never know which version of him I’ll get at any given time. I also keep my journal to keep track of what he says. Every conversation with him makes me lose grip of my fleeting sanity.
Leaving the house:
The biggest reason I haven’t left my home is because he would without a doubt say I abducted the children! I’m already withholding my children from him since I caught him hurting my six month old son.
On advice of my lawyer I have stayed put. It’s my best option for now and it shows that I’ve been reasonably measured in my actions.
Restraining order?
I am in the process of getting one.
Update Post 3: April 25, 2024 (15 days later, almost 6 weeks from OG post)
Title: It was all for the love of another woman? Who barely knew of his existence? He (42m) hurt my (36f) children to further his own selfish desires
I say all of this without exaggeration. I am certain he was getting ready to kill us. After nearly 8 months of turmoil I’m finally close to understanding.
My soon to be ex husband is in love with a woman he came across on social media and he has been obsessing over her for at least a year. She also happens to be a sex worker and he was paying her for her time and attention. In his mind he believed they could have a future together if only he could get rid of my children and me. Even though this woman gave him no inkling that she even wanted to be with him. He has spent so much of our money on this woman. I am at a loss for words that could accurately describe the situation. I can barely believe half of the things he’s been up to.
I’ve spent the past few weeks playing detective and I finally decided to contact “Jessica”. This is obviously not her name but I need to call her something. I contacted Jessica and at first she was very reluctant to speak to me but I literally begged her to and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me.
She told me that she had been seeing him for awhile but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her. He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails. He had been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him. Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked and I guess this is when he started to escalate from emotional abuse to physically abusing my children and myself. He was looking for a way out and in his crazy mind, killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn’t be with him was because me and my children were in the way.
During our long call I also explained to Jessica what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful. She also agreed to speak to my lawyer and to send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails and voice notes he sent her. For a little while after our conversation a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for everything but the rational part of me pushed out those unreasonable and dangerous thoughts especially after I read his disturbing texts and heard his voicemail/notes to Jessica. She has also been victimized by him.
Honestly there is nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead. He could’ve just asked for a divorce or just got up and left. I sent him a few texts asking him why? (this was a one time thing and since then I’ve stopped all contact) Why do all of this? Why torment my babies? Why not just walk away? He responded with a message saying any conversation between us should be through our lawyers. His parents have him lawyered up. They know what he’s been up to and they’ve chosen to protect him. His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested he could pay me if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning on doing. Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me I’ve told anyone who’d listen what he has done. At this point even his colleagues know.
Relevant Comments:
I have emergency custody of my kids and a protective order. I’m in the process of getting two trained guard dogs haven’t gotten very far though and I have a security system.
I’m also seriously considering a gun. More than seriously actually I’ve applied for a permit. Of course I do plan on taking lessons in gun safety and training.
Be careful with the dogs, he may just kill them:
He probably would but the few seconds to minutes he needs in order to do that is perhaps the chance I need to save my children and myself.
This may seem horrible to you but I rather have them as a buffer then my children getting harmed. I of course don’t want this to happen but I’m in a situation now where I need to do everything I can to protect my children.
His parents:
Oh they really are bastards and refuse to believe their precious son could ever do the things he’s done despite the fact that I installed security cameras after I caught him abusing my babies and despite the fact that my neighbors have signed witness statements attesting to the fact that they saw him break into my house and attack me. They’ve seen the police report. They’ve seen the pictures of my battered face and bruised body. They are feigning ignorance but they know, and I know they know.
You don't want to give him ammunition in the divorce- maybe stop telling people?
Actually me telling people has been the best thing I’ve done so far. It’s what has kept me safe. My neighbors now look out for his car and call the police if they see he’s anywhere near the house.
What was he like before all of this? Were there any signs?
We’ve been married for nearly 8 years. Will actually be 8 years in 2 months. We never had any issues. Sure we had minor squabbles but that was few and far in between. Never did I have any issues that would lead me to think that he’d try to hurt us let alone kill us.
It was during my pregnancy and birth that he became verbally and emotionally abusive, this is also the time period he met Jessica and started fantasizing about running away with her. He was angry and jealous that my attention was more on the pregnancy and the babies and this built resentment towards me and my children. It also pushed him more into his obsession with Jessica and when he was also rejected by her, he spiraled into this insane mindset. At the same time he escalated into verbally and physically abusing our infant children and when I found out he hurt my children, I attacked him. I caught him hurting my son and we physically fought and my neighbors called the police and he was escorted out of the house. Then he came back and broke into the house, he attacked me and beat me into a bloody mess. He was arrested for this. I’ve since attained a lawyer and I’ve been granted emergency custody and a protective order.
Again- why isn't he in jail?
He’s out on bail.
Update Post 3: May 11, 2024 (2+ weeks later)
Editor's note: This post was deleted by reddit. I have transcribed it from this youtube video and this tiktok video
Title: My (36f) husband (42m) has been arrested for stalking and attempting to abduct his former “mistress”.
Last week Thursday at approximately 2:00 AM in the morning, my (36F) husband (42m) of nearly 8 years was arrested outside of Jessica's house, (the sex worker he met online and used to pay to spend time with him until he started to creep her out by his stalking and obsession.)
When he was arrested, they found in his truck small baggies with drug residue and they also found tools of abduction. I honestly do not know what these are exactly.
My soon to be ex FIL called me at around 4:45/4:50 AM to tell me that his son was arrested. My FIL was the one who used the term tools of abduction. When I asked him what the hell that means, he said he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics. He then asked if I could help them find a lawyer for him and to stand by his son throughout all of this. When I said to him "how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning," he lost his shit and then was just screaming.
My soon to be ex MIL took over the phone, telling me that I'm a goddamn b****, and that all this is my fault. I hung up before she could say anymore.
I never knew this man to take drugs. Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs? I honestly don't know what's happening anymore or how I got here. I mean it does make sense he was on cocaine the past 7/8 months now that I look back at things.
I mean, I don't even know anything about drugs to be able to recognize the behavior pattern, but once I researched it, it seemed clear. The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger, the sudden outburst and the violence- it all points to drug usage, as well as him being an abusive piece of shit.
His parents and the rest of his family had called and texted me so much abusive shit and they occasionally switched to begging me to go see him or pick up his calls, but I've mainly ignored them. I don't have the time, the energy or the love that is needed to be there for this man and his parents. I've given him eight years of my love and affection, and he spat it back into my face during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life
Also, why would they think I'd help him after everything he's done? Especially since I think he deserves to be in jail for not only hurting my children, but also for hurting myself and Jessica.
I hope and pray he's jailed for the rest of his natural life. I mean I've tried being a good wife, but he has attacked my children. He has attacked me. He has lied and tormented us, and I'm supposed to help him?
I don't even know how I got here. How did we get here?
I've packed everything up and I'm leaving. I'm disappearing with my kids, and anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer. The only person who knows where I'm moving to is my lawyer and my sister. I mean what else can I do to protect my children? His entire family blames me. And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person by pretty much everyone I once called a family? These people are trying to destroy me inside and out, and I don't know how to survive them. How am I supposed to rebuild my life when they won't stop tormenting me?
In less than a year of their birth, I've managed to fail my children...
TLDR: My soon to be ex-husband was arrested while stalking his former mistress/sex worker and during his arrest they found drug residue and tools for abduction
Relevant Comments:
Change your surname/the kids' surnames:
My kids and I have double-barreled surnames (my surname and their dads) but when I can we will drop his and we’ll all go by just mine.
People blaming OOP:
The sad fucking thing it’s not only his parents. It seems like everyone is blaming me.
OOP's response to a crappy (now deleted) comment:
“ You need to discover the reasons why you failed to notice or do anything about everything that was going on with him. You have to build skills so you can take full ownership over your own life.”
This genuinely has me fucking raging right now! I feel like everyone keeps blaming me!
And I don’t know why everyone keeps blaming me for his shit! We didn’t have any problems in the previous 7 years of our marriage. He started doing drugs during my pregnancy and this is when he started to behave abnormally. I tried to get him help because I thought it was depression or the stress of being a new parent.
When I noticed his irritablity, combativeness and generally shitty behavior was more than just depression or jealousy of me spending more time with my new born children, I kicked him out, I got a lawyer and involved the police because there no way in hell I’d stay with someone who hurt my children or let him get away with it and I also made sure to get emergency custody of my children. This is also around the same time when he spiralled into using more drugs. I don’t know what else I could’ve done but I know I took all the right steps when I noticed his escalation!
I’m so sick of everyone acting like I was making him do drugs and like I’m suppose to know that he’d ruin my life after having had a good marriage before he started taking drugs and going out of his mind.
What has your lawyer said about disappearing?
I currently have emergency custody. My lawyer is the one who suggested to disappear (meaning moving to new house and not letting anyone know) because she says this is a time of great danger and I heartily agree. Since my ex-husband first went to look for me at the house but me and my children went to stay somewhere else for a few days because I was scared he’d come back after he broke into the house previously and attacked me.

Url: https://web.p.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail/detail?vid=0&sid=3275b164-3f3a-4206-8329-4476a8eddc0b%40redis&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#AN=158651457&db=a9h
Title: “Dating in the Digital Age: A Content Analysis of Dating Websites Designed for Disabled People”
Author: A. Santinele Martino & E. Moumos
Date Published: August 3, 2022
Today, there are thousands of online dating websites that millions of people go to looking for love. There are popular websites such as eHarmony or Match. There are also dating websites which target a more specific audience like elderly people, people of different religions and even one specific to farmers. A few of these dating websites cater to disabled people. The purpose of all of these sites is to help people establish connections and find love based on similar interests and preferences. Dating websites for disabled people are designed to help those with a disability find a match. Sometimes even people without disabilities are looking to make a connection with someone with a disability. These online dating websites show the compatibility between two people and create a safe space where disabled people don’t have to feel ashamed of their disability, but rather proudly show who they are beyond their impairment. A study in 2022 titled, “Dating in the Digital Age: A Content Analysis of Dating Websites Designed for Disabled People,” looks into the positives that dating websites provide for disabled people.
The First Media Key: Balance
In the book, Infinite Bandwidth, seven media keys are described. The first media key, balance, shows that we must look at media from all angles. “We have to look at the target audience, the media-maker’s intent, the context of certain actions or decisions, and the consequences those actions and decisions bring in order to determine if the media is acceptable for us or for our children” (Gan, pg. 23). The first step of applying balance is prayer and we should pray for the virtue of temperance, that directs people to good in a healthy manner (Gan, pg. 31). When using this key of balance in assessing media, we must show temperance and be willing to see media from every angle.
According to this study, one dating site states, “‘That’s not to say that all of our members are disabled; we have plenty of non-disabled women and men who are eager to meet someone like you too.’ They noted that non-disabled people who choose to join these specific digital sexual fields were individuals who would not discriminate against disabled people as potential partners’” (Martino & Moumos). This is a good example that both the website and the people on the website are showing balance because they are not one-sided in who can be on the site and who they are looking to date on the site. It shows a temperance to the good of maintaining a healthy, unbiased relationship between the people on the dating site, whether they are disabled or non-disabled, they do not discriminate between the two.
The Second Media Key: Attitude Awareness
In the second media key, attitude awareness, we look at the attitudes behind certain forms of media. “It’s been created and designed to convey the point of view of the media-maker and to achieve the goal they set out for their creation” (Gan, pg. 40). In this media key we must pray for prudence. When praying for prudence, we are reminded of the good in everything around us and choose to find the good in our lives and surround ourselves in goodness.
A website from the study said, “‘Dating has its challenges, particularly when a person is disabled, and may not be able to get around town as easily as other people. An online dating site for the disabled will help people find friends and date’” (Martino & Moumos). Because of this quote, we can infer that the goal of online dating websites for disabled people, particularly this dating site, is for the good of others. These sites are positive because they help people make connections and build healthy relationships.
The Third Media Key: The Dignity of the Human Person
The third media key is the dignity of the human person. This media key discusses how we need to understand that everyone is a unique creation of God, and that the media should share in our respect for dignity. “The human person is equal parts matter and spirit, flesh, and soul. Our bodies aren’t cages that contain a soul. They’re a part of us…” (Gan, pg. 53). We also need to understand that the “[m]edia should also help us understand the importance of giving ourselves in love to others” (Gan, pg. 53). A prayer we can use in order to put this media key in practice is a prayer for justice. Justice allows us to make positive relationships and understand the importance of respecting your neighbor.
Online dating sites allow disabled people to embrace who they are and not let their disability define or cage them in, but rather show others that they too are equal and are looking for love just like everyone else. “These websites framed themselves as spaces that created equal opportunities for disabled people” (Martino & Moumos). This quote shows that the third form of media through dignity lets disabled people make connections with others in a safe environment that is respectable and proves that they too are creations of God.
The Fourth Media Key: Truth-Filled
The fourth media key is titled truth-filled. In this key we learn about how we should be filled with the truth and not with lies. In the media today, it is just as easy to share truths as it is to share lies and falsehoods. “We can all ‘make’ media that leads people to the truth, and we can all use media in a way that obscures the truth” (Gan, pg. 76). The prayer we can use to seek truth-filled media in our lives is fortitude. Fortitude will allow us to remain strong in our temptations to stray from the truth and overcome this obstacle by being truthful and honest.
This study presented a fact that many disabled people feel a need to hide their disability from people online because they may feel ashamed or afraid of rejection. However, online dating websites for people with disabilities allow for people to have a safe space where they can be truthful and freely show who they are. “[T]here are also examples of disabled people who actively choose to disclose their impairment because it was important for them to find a partner who is understanding and accepting of their impairment” (Martino & Moumos). This is an example of how the media key of how a truth-filled and honest foundation to a website is important.
The Fifth Media Key: Inspiring
Inspiring is the fifth media key. “We create those signs, and through them people find their way… [b]y God’s grace, we make media that inspires people toward their transcendent destiny” (Gan, pg. 84). In discovering this media key, we should pray for hope. By placing hope in God we are able to discover our eternal life with Him. God wants us to experience all of the joys of life and so we must be inspiring in our media messaging and communication because it is a gift from God. “Media should inspire because that’s what media is intending to do” (Gan, pg. 94).
Dating websites for people with disabilities show that disabilities shouldn’t be looked upon negatively, but rather positively. This shows that disabled people are made in the image and likeness of God, and a website like this inspires them to love who they are because God loves them and they are perfect in His eyes. They also feel inspired to meet someone who doesn’t look at them like they have a disability. These websites inspire happiness and give hope for a better life. One website in the study said, “we have the best facilities to help you succeed… and find your perfect date online so you can eliminate loneliness from your life, succeed and find happiness” (Martino & Moumos).
The Sixth Media Key: Skillfully Developed
The next media key is skillfully developed. In this key, we find that the Church believes that all media should be skillfully developed. We should present the media with the best quality. “Ultimately, no matter how deadly or false the underlying message of a particular piece of media might be, if it comes in the right package – if it’s been skillfully developed according to cultural expectations and industry standards–it will strike many people as good and true” (Gan, pg. 109). A prayer for this key is faith in yourself and the media. So by asking for faith you can trust that you will develop appropriate media and also have a good perspective on what should be expected from the media.
The online dating websites for disabled people are skillfully developed because they are promoting a positive way for people to meet and bringing happiness and joy to people’s lives. “Websites emphasized the narrative of disabled people overcoming isolation and accessibility barriers. Many websites also promoted the idea that their platform eased the uncomfortable task of disclosing one’s impairment and would improve their overall quality of life” (Martino & Moumos).
The Seventh Media Key: Motivated by and Relevant to Experience
This final media key is supposed to create an experience for us as consumers and move us into action. “Good media also does all that in a language we can understand. It uses words, metaphors, and images that make sense to us. Good media connects with us when it touches something in us, when it speaks to our own experience of need, love, fear, and want. It reflects the world as we know it back to us” (Gan, pg. 118). A prayer we can use to help us with this media key is charity. If we pray for charity then we are asking for the understanding of others.
The ultimate purpose of online dating websites is to create an experience for its members and help them find lasting love. Dating websites for disabled people are also motivated to connect people that especially find it hard to meet new people. This reflects our world because these sites are here to help others and give them a chance at happiness and joy (Martino & Moumos). A person’s disability doesn’t define them and by going online and sharing themselves with the world it allows others to see that those with disabilities are children of God who need love too. Websites that promote and motivate people to have a positive effect on the world and on others. It allows people to connect and share their experiences and find happiness in the world that God created for us.

I'm not the person who wrote this tweet, but the video perfectly demos what I'm talking about:
https://twitter.com/i/status/1760556363825189226
In a CSR application (Ex - typical react vite app), it is possible to acheive the following (expected) UX:
Click on a navigation link -> that link immediately reflects action by turning bold (or something) -> the url updates to the new path -> I get some sort of loading indicator
The above happens regardless of how strong or poor my network connection is.
With Next App Router SSR, there's a delay in acknowledging the user action, making the site feel broken/unresponsive. Nav bar UI reflects the state of the url and it takes the url 3 seconds to change. The loading skeleton also needs to be downloaded from the server, which takes time.
Is there any way to fix this problem? I can assure you the following responses are not going to solve the problem:
"Just add a "
This is a slow network request being made to the server, not about slow processing time on the server
"switch your component to use client"
Doesn't make a difference since App Router still does SSR (prerendering) on the server even for client components.
It's true that Next.js "behaves" like a SPA in terms of avoiding the hard-refresh style navigations of traditional MPAs, but the UX feels like a major downgrade from SPAs when the network conditions are bad.
EDIT: Just to chime in, it looks like Vercel closed this issue which in the past was brought up. Also, this issue is present even on Vercel's own demos:

1. Go to app-router.vercel.app/streaming
2. Throttle your connection in Dev Tools, using slow 3G.
3. Click "Edge Runtime" tab (or Node Runtime)

Observe how things appear frozen (no feedback at all) and then at some point, the content shows up.

Provided that you get an API key and set up your account correctly with Google, it is possible to create a Custom GPT with an action that makes a request to Gemini. I recommend to keep that Custom GPT private, unless you want to pay Google for others to use your API key.
Downsides to this use case:

• ChatGPT doesn't output the raw reply given by Gemini, though it can if requested to do so in the prompt ("give Gemini's answer 'as is', then...").
• The user can only guide the prompt given by ChatGPT to Gemini, which can be rather short.
• I'm not sure if it would be possible to send long conversations to Gemini, though I haven't tested further customizing the GPT to give it the instruction to do so.

One interesting element: it's still a discussion with ChatGPT, so it's possible to iterate and ask to submit new elements to Gemini.
Here is the openapi schema used for the action, created with the help of ChatGPT. I'm not an expert with openapi, all I wanted to was to create this proof of concept, and I'm happy it works. I guess that by having an openapi definition that includes a more complex structure for the request, allowing to send a conversation with roles and texts, the use case could be made more complex.
The API key header is custom, with the name of the parameter being "X-goog-api-key".

openapi: 3.0.0 info: title: Google Gemini API description: API for interacting with the Google Gemini generative language models. version: 1.0.0 servers: - url: https://generativelanguage.googleapis.com/v1beta description: Main API server paths: /models/gemini-pro:generateContent: post: operationId: generateContent summary: Generate content using the Gemini model requestBody: required: true content: application/json: schema: type: object properties: contents: type: array items: type: object properties: parts: type: array items: type: object properties: text: type: string required: - contents responses: "200": description: Successful response with generated content content: application/json: schema: type: object properties: candidates: type: array items: type: object properties: parts: type: array items: type: object properties: text: type: string prompt_feedback: type: object properties: safety_ratings: type: array items: type: object properties: category: type: string probability: type: string "400": description: Bad request, usually due to invalid input parameters "401": description: Unauthorized, usually due to invalid or missing API key "500": description: Internal server error 

And here is an example of answer given by ChatGPT.
Prompt:

In English, in one single request give Gemini your definition of Human Consciousness and request its analysis and own definition, as if you were asking a feedback by making the request with the following structure: here is my definition, what is your opinion about it, what is your own definition. Then examine its reply, provide your own analysis of the reply and explain if it changes your own definition.

ChatGPT request to Gemini based on the prompt:

[ { "parts": [ { "text": "Here is my definition of human consciousness: Human consciousness is the state of being aware of and able to think about one's own existence, thoughts, and surroundings. It involves self-awareness, the ability to experience thoughts and emotions, and the capacity to understand and interact with the environment. Consciousness encompasses various mental processes, including perception, cognition, and reflection. What is your opinion about it? What is your own definition?" } ] } ] 

ChatGPT reply:

Analysis of Gemini's Reply

Opinion on Your Definition:
Gemini acknowledges that my definition captures several key aspects of human consciousness. It commends the inclusion of:

• Self-awareness: Recognizing one's own existence.
  
• Mental Processes: Including perception, cognition, and reflection.
  
• Interaction with the Environment: Understanding and interacting with surroundings.
  

Gemini appreciates the reflexive nature of my definition, highlighting its acknowledgment of the diverse functions associated with consciousness.
Gemini's Alternative Definition:

1. Subjectivity and Qualia:

• Qualia: Unique internal states, emotions, and sensations.

1. Integration and Processing:

• Combining sensory inputs, thoughts, and memories into a coherent experience.
  
• Processing and interpreting information from internal and external sources.
  

1. Cognitive Control:

• Exerting control over thoughts, actions, and attention.
  
• Enabling planning, decision-making, and behavior regulation.
  

1. Self-Awareness and Metacognition:

• Recognizing and reflecting on one's own mental states.
  
• Metacognitive awareness allows monitoring thoughts, feelings, and intentions.
  

1. Phenomenal Awareness:

• Subjective experience of the world.
  
• Perceiving and understanding objects, events, and relationships in the environment.
  

My Analysis of Gemini's Reply

Gemini's reply enriches my understanding of human consciousness by introducing additional elements and emphasizing certain aspects more thoroughly:

• Subjectivity and Qualia: While my definition mentions experiencing thoughts and emotions, Gemini emphasizes the unique internal states (qualia) which provide a deeper understanding of subjective experiences.
  
• Integration and Processing: This aspect extends my definition by focusing on how consciousness integrates various sensory inputs and thoughts into a coherent whole.
  
• Cognitive Control: Gemini highlights the importance of control over cognitive processes, such as attention and decision-making, which are implicit in my definition but not explicitly mentioned.
  
• Self-Awareness and Metacognition: Gemini's inclusion of metacognition (thinking about one's own thinking) adds a layer of complexity and introspection that enhances my definition.
  
• Phenomenal Awareness: The idea of phenomenal awareness (subjective experience of the world) aligns with my definition but is articulated with more nuance by Gemini.
  

Does Gemini's Reply Change My Definition?

Gemini's response provides a more detailed and nuanced understanding of human consciousness. While my original definition is accurate and covers essential aspects, Gemini's definition expands on these points, offering a richer and more comprehensive perspective. Therefore, I would integrate these insights into my own definition as follows:
Revised Definition:
Human consciousness is the state of being aware of and able to think about one's own existence, thoughts, and surroundings. It involves self-awareness, the ability to experience unique internal states (qualia), and the capacity to integrate and process sensory inputs, thoughts, and memories into a coherent experience. Consciousness encompasses various mental processes, including perception, cognition, reflection, and metacognition, allowing for subjective experience, cognitive control, and meaningful interaction with the environment.

Please read this entire post.
A new poll by Axios from May 3rd to May 6th shows that college students rank the Israel-Hamas war at the bottom of 9 options as issues that are important to them. They surveyed 1,250 college students on campuses and it showed that only 13% cared about the war, far behind other issues like healthcare reform, racial justice & civil rights, and climate change.
This number isn't really surprising at all. The movement is a mess. Part of what is causing the problem is that the movement is surprisingly ineffective at using Social Media. Instead of using it to raise sympathy for their cause, it's mainly being used to give the movement itself a false impression of how popular the movement is, and then to bully people who question the movement itself. In this kind of echo chamber, you can maintain the belief that it's everyone else who is failing, when really, its the movement itself that is failing on every level.
But rather than dwell on the failures, let's talk about solutions. The goal of any movement like this is to raise awareness and sympathy for your cause, and to turn that sympathy into action. The problem with taking direct action like encampments, destroying property, disrupting civic life, and then making hostage-like demands to get you to stop, is you push more people away then you pull in. The actions themselves create fear and anger, which are both antithetical to sympathy, and can inadvertedly create sympathy for the opposing cause.
There is another approach called a dilemma action, which is an indirect, non-aggressive form of protest, where the goal is to provoke a dilemma for the opposition where they look absurd no matter how they respond.
For example in 1982, in response to Soviet propaganda, Polish citizens started taking their televisions for walks in wheelbarrows and strollers during the Soviet news hours. This created a situation where the government would have to arrest people for walking their television, which would then be covered in the news itself, creating the dilemma. Not only would it look absurd, but they'd have to explain why people were walking their televisions, exposing their own propaganda, and spreading the protestors message for them. Because of that dilemma, the government didn't do anything, which conceded ground to the Polish resistance movement, enabling them to broaden support for resisting the Soviet system.
George Washington University recently used this technique against the protestors when they hung a huge American flag in the backdrop of the protests. The contrast put the protestors in a really negative light, while maintaining the integrity of the university as standing up for the rights of all, which increased their support to resist the protestors (and sadly, that story didn't end well for the protestors).
The reason this worked is because if the movement is only focusing on what they are going to do and how they can express their anguish to their audience, it becomes self absorbed. And I think we're seeing a lot of that, which is why they become blind to how antisocial the movement has become.
If you're thinking in terms of a dilemma action, you're thinking of your social movement as a social action, between you, your opposition, and most importantly, the rest of society. Society is the audience. They are the people you are trying to convince they are the ones holding the sympathy that you need.
The reason I made the post yesterday and this new one today was to educate people. I do hope that the encampment organizers takes my words to heart. However, if the reaction to my post yesterday was anything to go by, probably not.

Okay so I have found the most broken build in existence for the JUMPCHAIN!?! It goes something like this…..
First you need Apex Predator​ from Generic Dinosaur Gauntlet. {Apex Predator​ (600cp)}: You are the deadliest hunter to ever exist, the ultimate predator. Your instincts for stalking, tracking, hunting, and killing are peerless, quickly becoming a master at hunting any new prey in any new environment. You always know where your targets are vulnerable and the optimum way to hit them. Your luck when hunting, whether in general or for specific prey, is bordering on impossibly good. You can kill anything, even things that lack the capacity to die, and anything you kill stays dead.
With this anything you kill stays dead. Second is the Unbound By Thread perk from the Percy Jackson Jump. {Unbound By Thread (600CP)}: Coming from outside this realm, from beyond the reach of Fate itself, has made you dangerous Jumper. For instead of being bound to the prophecies of the three sisters, you exist outside as an unaffected force, unbound and unshackled. You’ll find that within your power is the strength to distort and even break the events of prophecy, defying these predetermined events with gusto. Creatures who can only be struck down by the chosen hero will fall to your blade, the doors that only open at the eve of the apocalypse will do so at your push. In addition, this condition has opened your eyes to that of Prophecy. While initially impossible to control, you may open yourself up to the spirits that be to foresee visions of the future, often through strange and hard to understand poetry, which upon interpretation can give one insight into important future events.
And the Fate-proof from The Other Harry Potter Fanfiction Jump. {Fate-proof (400 MP)}: Fate doesn’t actually exist in the canonical version of this world. Divination only shows what is likely to happen and even genuine prophecies explicitly don’t always come true. But some authors don’t get the memo and depict Fate as an extant entity manipulating things and trying to subvert free will in favor of her(always her) narratives. Luckily for you, you’re immune to such things, a prophecy about you will only be true if it is to your benefit, and even then only if you want it to, ‘fate manipulation’ type effects can only be used to your benefit, and you can ignore the fates of others and just do what you want with no consequences in such regards.
This will make you more immune to fate and fate manipulation abilities. After that is the Mystic Eyes of Balor’s Eye from the Nasuverse Jumpchain. {Mystic Eyes of Balor’s Eye (1200)}: •The original form of the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception heralding from ancient Irish myth, these eyes could be considered the original form of that rare and deadly power, possessed by the Demon God Balor. These eyes can be activated and deactivated at will. They manifest as a third eye on your forehead. The skin on your forehead seems to be torn apart as Balor's Eye forces its way out, yet no blood comes gushing out as an observer would expect. When the eye is deactivated, the skin returns to its previous state, as if it had never been ripped away. Where the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception only allow the user to view and manually sever Lines and Points of Death, Balor’s Eye is capable of viewing and severing those Lines with merely a glance. As long as you can see a Line of Death, you can sever it without effort. This does not extend to Points of Death. Those must still be manually pierced by the bearer of these eyes. If the target doesn’t have a concept of death, you can impose one on them. This manifests as a single Point of Death. However, you must pierce that point of death manually, as you would with the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception. This Point of Death will only be maintained for as long as you can keep your gaze on your target.
This will allow you to kill with just a glance and even affect beings who don’t have the concept of death. Then to enhance your killing ability would be the Old Man perk and the Azrael sword from the Fate Legends Oasis of Fantasy jump {Old Man (600)}: Assassination is an art. It’s one you realised needed to be cultivated and honed. But it is also something you realised would be better grown by others that could truly master those arts. Perhaps you felt you never could become a true assassin because you already had such a talent for death that you could no longer hide from any prey you sought. When your presence brings visions of death to your targets, it becomes impossible to hide. But that is the fate for the assassin of assassins. Your nature is that of a simple and straightforward dealer of death. Through this option, you do not have a dozen tricks or the skill to craft the perfect trap or the ability to talk your way into the heart of any man. You do not need it. Your sheer, natural power leaves even dragons and demons of the highest orders realising that they face at least an equal, if not a superior, in physical might. Your speed is such that only the greatest warriors of mankind could even recognise you had moved before their heads slip from their necks. Even should they be able to see you move, your skill in combat without a weapon or with one of almost any kind is almost on the level of the gods of war themselves. Your affinity for death is so powerful that you are not even limited to the killing of physical matter, as you can strike at and kill things even on a immaterial or conceptual level. Splitting a soul in half, cutting a demon out of a man, erasing a magical contract between two beings with a strike or destroying the lack of a concept of death by a mighty slash. Even immortal beings cease to be in your presence. It has also given you a connection to strange flames of the underworld, manifesting as powerful blue fire that you can freely summon, allowing you to attack or even teleport through the flames, as well as the ability to control sand and the desert on a enormous scale, burying entire cities in sandstorms. The one downside is that those you seek to kill can now sense the evening bell tolling for them as you approach, warning them that their death is nigh and showing them a horrifying vision of you as you prepare to strike, even if you can perfectly conceal yourself from any being. It is a good thing though, that your prey would always see your face just as they die and carry it to the next world with them. {Azrael (600)}: A huge black blade, a broadsword that looks like it was made to be wielded by a man seven feet tall. Yet, when you hold it, it does not feel any heavier than a feather. Indeed, you swing the blade as if you were a master of the sword, regardless of your actual expertise in such matters. Almost as if the sword wishes to be used in battle and will show you the way to do so. The first time you use this black blade, Azrael, in battle, you’ll discover its power. A single cut, no matter how miniscule, brings death. The mere presence of the blade will weaken and rot your foes but regardless of how strong, important or resistant the enemy may be, a cut from Azrael has a chance of killing them. The greater the cut, the higher the chance of instant death becomes. Even a mortal has a good chance to survive should you barely nick the tip of their finger but even a true and fleshly god might be utterly destroyed in an instant should your dark weapon pierce their heart. The blade kills truly, leaving no chance to return for it’s victims, and will strike without regard to the presence of the physical or not. You may import an existing weapon into this role.
This makes it so you can kill anything you want to. But the next two perks will make it vary easy to truly kill something. With To Kill A Numidium and Slayer of ManniMAKATOSH from the Elder Scrolls C0DA jump. {Slayer of ManniMAKATOSH (400)}: A mutilated and defanged form of the Time Dragon, fused with the King of Worms, made to dig up tunnels in the rust-red sugar-sand soil and rock of Masser, now little more than a Worm. It had to be taken care of - made a non-entity, the threat it posed removed, and put out of its own mindless and uncomprehending misery. You and your kin did just that - put down the godbeast of time and death, so that its wormtunnels may house the moon-mer exodites of Tomorrowind and moondrunk children of Fadomai's Favored Daughter. But, though with strange aeons and in kalpas unseen even death may die, Time is not so easily slain, for the Aurbic subgradient exists in little but the Gray Maybe. The god of Time is always on the clock, but the Clock is broken. Still, you and yours at the very least tamed the Worm. You may choose to make your attacks - and indeed, actions in general - omnitemporal, stretching back ages and forward millenia. That which you slay will turn out to have been slain by you before it was ever born, and all its actions and effects undone. That which you take will turn out to have always been yours, and will always be yours, for in every single instance of time - whether you count in zeptoseconds or oscillations of caesium atoms - it is being taken by you. The Dragon didn't Break, it shattered, and you walk among the shards. Worth mentioning is that to strike something at everytime is to strike it at everyspace and everypoint, making your attacks omnidirectional and omnidimensional, as well as omnitemporal, making it rather impossible to defend against them. Your strikes will always yield wounds. {To Kill A Numidium (600)}: The Walk-Brass of Kagrenac that says NO to all it passes over. The dwemer god of reason and gears, made to in turn unmake the falsehood of the Dream. How does one end the thing of the end? Unmake the unmaking? Negate the negation, destroy the destruction, kill the killing? You turn the unmaking into the making, NO into YES, negative into positive, and then you strike. Anumidium was made to shout NO at the creation, so you make it subvert its own purpose. Make it shout NO at itself. You can easily turn those you face inside out - much like an autoimmune disorder makes the body attack itself, you can at will make the enemy destroy itself - be it simply shooting themselves in head, or carving up their own ur-self. If that is not to your liking, you may instead turn them inside out - they will lose their powers, turn into the inverted versions of themselves, and be free for you to kill yourself, if you wish to be the great slayer yourself, instead of letting your foes go the inglorious way of suicide. And more than that, though Enantiomorph you may not be, you may take from your enemies that which they cherished. The Prime Gestalt had only his NO, and you may take that from him - in simpler terms, those you subject to this misery will have their own skills stolen, you will learn them inside out and use them to kill the foe before you. You are a self-thief, a skill-vampire and knowledge-eater. And you don't even have to cut your hands off for this!
Need I say more on those two? And then there is Godspeed and The Swallow's Dance from The Holy Man of the Church Creek jump. {Godspeed (400 CP)}: Godspeed is a devastating ability created by Hercules to defeat the Hydra. With this perk, you can replicate this feat unleashing a flurry of nine strikes in a single moment, displaying unmatched speed and precision. This technique, derived from the pinnacle of weapon mastery, allows you to manifest the power of a myth in its fullest form. When activating Godspeed, you become a blur of motion, traversing the battlefield with unmatched swiftness. Each strike you unleash is imbued with incredible power, targeting the vitals of your opponents with lethal precision. Lastly, this technique is not limited to a specific weapon, as it draws out the maximum potential of any weapon you wield, elevating it to the status of a Noble Phantasm. {The Swallow's Dance (200 CP)}: Saskai Kojiro is amongst the greatest sword masters to ever live. With this perk, you gain unparalleled proficiency in the art of swordplay, akin to Saskai's lifetime of training and dedication. With the Swallow's Dance, your movements become a mesmerizing display of grace and precision. You seamlessly execute complex techniques and maneuvers, effortlessly weaving between offense and defense. Your strikes are imbued with the same elegance and lethal efficiency as Saskai's, making you a formidable combatant. The essence of this perk lies in the ability to overlay multiple attacks at once, just like Saskai's legendary "Tsubame Gaeshi." With a single swing of your blade, you unleash a barrage of strikes that converge upon your foes from multiple angles simultaneously. You can perform this offensive technique with any weapon or ability allowing you to launch nearly unblockable attacks. Lastly, this also allows you to massively increase your damage output by multiplying your attacks three times over.
That will give you the ability to hit extremely fast multiple time at once. Then there is Armored​ ​No​ ​More​ from the Partially​ ​Kissed​ Jump. {(400​ ​CP​) Armored​ ​No​ ​More​}: Many​ ​things​ ​in​ ​this​ ​world​ ​happen​ ​only​ ​because​ ​the​ ​plot​ ​wants​ ​them​ ​to happen,​ ​and​ ​characterizations,​ ​causality,​ ​facts​ ​and​ ​events​ ​are​ ​liberally​ ​rearranged​ ​and​ ​modified​ ​to allow​ ​them​ ​to​ ​happen.​ ​Not​ ​so​ ​around​ ​you,​ ​anymore. Faced​ ​with​ ​you,​ ​Plot​ ​Armor​ ​fails,​ ​and​ ​casual coincidences​ ​no​ ​longer​ ​are.​ ​No​ ​deus​ ​ex​ ​machina​ ​will save​ ​your​ ​enemy,​ ​and​ ​no​ ​long​ ​hidden​ ​measures​ ​will​ ​come​ ​to​ ​the​ ​fore​ ​in​ ​the​ ​face​ ​of​ ​your​ ​total​ ​victory just​ ​so​ ​tension​ ​can​ ​be​ ​preserved. This​ ​extends​ ​to​ ​any​ ​of​ ​your​ ​plans​ ​too.​ ​As​ ​long​ ​as​ ​they’re​ ​robust​ ​by​ ​themselves,​ ​you​ ​can​ ​count​ ​on​ ​no freak​ ​accident​ ​of​ ​luck​ ​derailing​ ​them.​ ​People​ ​will​ ​have​ ​to​ ​work​ ​for​ ​it​ ​if​ ​they​ ​want​ ​to​ ​bring​ ​you​ ​down!
That just gets rid of plat armor. After that is the Horcruxes Won’t Help You perk from Art of The Sacrifice. {Horcruxes Won’t Help You (-600 CP)}: •Who has time to hunt down all of someone’s Horcruxes? Not you, that’s for sure. When you kill someone and that person has Horcruxes, all of the other pieces of that person’s soul die as well, no longer serving to anchor them to this world. This only works if you kill their proper body; destroying a Horcrux won’t also destroy all the other Horcruxes. In future Jumps, this will allow you to kill someone who split themselves into many bodies or minds just by killing their “original” body or mind—or, if they don’t have an original anymore, just by killing any version of them.
That will help with killing a being who can split itself into multiple parts. But to truly help you kill anything you come across is lastly, is The Capstone Boosted Sword of the Morning perk from the ASOIAF - Game of Thrones jump.
{(500cp) Sword of the Morning}: You are one of the greatest warriors to grace the face of Planetos in a generation. Your mind and body are in perfect sync with combat. You could easily analyse a battlefield to create an imaginary version of it in your Mind’s Eye to easily predict the movements of your opponent until they stop being a threat... or if they play dead. You could fight 10 men, perhaps even 20 by yourself, and come out without a scratch. Against truly skilled opponents on the level of Ned Stark in his prime, this number goes down to 4-7. This is quite straining to a baseline human, but it is possible to expand the limits of your predictions with training, unnatural modifications or perks from another Jump. You also gain a substantial increase in skill to dual wield your preferred weapon with the same level of mastery that you wield one. (Capstone Boosted): As if you were The Warrior Reborn, your martial skills across the board improve to beyond the skill of man, and your ability to kill has increased from the merely mortal, to the immortal and conceptual. You can cut into a shadow assassin and kill the binder, cut through an animal controlled by a skinchanger to kill that skinchanger, you could even permanently kill a god if one's avatar appeared before you.
With this you don’t even need to kill the core or original part just one aspect will do. And by combining all of these perks as that weapon will kill just about anything you fight against. Let me know your broken combos.

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Datsot

“Now I know this is not what any of you want to hear,” the base commander announced to the shocked audience. “But it is the truth. The losses were total. As of today, our orbital supply network no longer exists. The fleet has declared our invasion… postponed. Responsibility is still being determined, but Ten Whiskers Ditvish has recovered from his injuries enough to assure us that he will be taking full responsibility for all the errors that occurred as a result of overstretching our supply lines.”
Skhork asked, “So what happens next? Do we have secondary objectives to fulfill? Does the fleet plan to return?”
The base commander explained, “The fleet is evacuating all essential equipment and personnel. There were a few backup shuttles, but these are the last ones we have. The eastern theater was encircled and entirely lost, so we are now at the top of the fleet’s priority list. There will be an evacuation flight coming for us later tonight. The decision has been made. All six whiskers and above on my base will be evacuated, as will all the active Longclaw Marines and their valuable equipment. I understand two of your crew members in Fearless Four are heavily injured, Skhork. I have decided they will have to be left behind. I take full responsibility for that decision.”
Skhork looked at her with displeasure for a moment, but then bowed his head, reciting, “Our lives were all forfeited to the Prophecy the day we left the hatchling pools.”
The base commander nodded solemnly and continued. “All infantry conscripts will be left behind.”
The infantry commanders bowed their heads and recited the line too.
“What will they be told?” one of the six whiskers asked, visibly dejected at the total loss of his command.
“The truth. Though expendable, at the end of the day, they too are Servants of the Prophecy. They will be expected to perform their duties. Remind them not to forget their SEER training: Sabotage, Erode, Exterminate, Raids. Be proud and worthy examples of the Znosian Ground Forces.” Then her face darkened, “Unlike those surrendering apostates in the eastern theaters.”
Gasps and murmurs went around the room.
“There were surrenders?” Skhork asked, his blood heating up. The other commanders expressed their anger likewise.
The base commander added hastily, “These are rumors for now. But they have been all but officially confirmed. Their theater commander, a seven whiskers, took responsibility for them last night. For her value in service, she was not heavily punished and will be allowed to redeem herself. But for those who gave up, the Prophecy no longer welcomes their presence. In life or in death.”
Skhork said his farewells to the two Fearless Four crew members who had to be left behind in the afternoon. It was not easy, leaving comrades behind after fighting alongside them for years, but they all understood its necessity to the Prophecy.
“You think we will come back?” he asked the gossiping gathered crowd of six whiskers evacuees.
The base commander shrugged. “It’s possible. We may have lost a few space battles, but we still have most our ships in the sector. The Navy just needs time to regroup at Gruccud. Then, we will need to slowly fight our way back, making sure to secure our supply lines this time. That was the mistake we made, and I am sure Ten Whiskers Ditvish will learn from this. After all, we are civilized people, not mindless predators.”
“You think they will let him retain command?” one of the infantry commanders asked. “If he were in the Marines, he would surely be executed.”
“They do things differently in the Navy,” the base commander chortled. “High ranking spacers are much less expendable than your conscripts. Unless there was serious misconduct found in the inevitable assignment of responsibility hearing, they will probably allow him to redeem himself.”
The supply officer shook his head. “I don’t think we will come this way again. This was supposed to be a flanking route to Malgeiru.”
“Flanking route?” Skhork asked.
“A movement around the side of the enemy main force,” the supply officer explained, “To avoid facing their strongest—”
“I know what a flanking route is, you base-sitter,” Skhork almost snarled. “I just didn’t know that is what Datsot is.”
“Yeah, well, it is,” the supply officer replied. “It’s one of the Lesser Predators’ core worlds, but it is a side route to their home world. The reason we stretched our supply route so far for this is because we didn’t anticipate they would even bother to attack it. Why would we? The Lesser Predators just didn’t do that kind of thing.”
“Now, they do.”
“Yes, now they do,” the supply officer agreed. “So, we will probably abandon this front all the way back to Gruccud and go for Malgeiru from the front, and then come back and take Datsot after their home world falls.”
“If it falls,” Skhork corrected. He noted in his mind that a few short months on Datsot had turned him into a pessimist.
“Yes, if it falls.”
“I doubt your reasoning though, supply officer. I’m sure the Navy will find a way to adapt to this new threat to their supply lines, and we will be back here in a few months. How hard can it be to secure nine uninhabited systems in a row?”
The officer had no answer for him.
The landing thrusters of the incoming evacuation shuttle lit up the night sky as it descended.
Nighttime was generally considered the best time for shuttles to land on Datsot, because some of the poorly equipped Lesser Predator units did not have night and thermal vision equipment. The fewer threats they had to deal with, the better.
“But even if we come back then,” Skhork lamented, “It will be too late for our ground troops who remain.”
“Most likely,” the base commander agreed moodily. “The Lesser Predators will easily cleanse and reinforce this planet before we get back, but any damage we do now will make it easier for the next time around. Our eventual victory over the Lesser Predators is inevitable. It has been foretold in the Prophecy.”
“It has been foretold in—”
Skhork’s recitation was interrupted by a loud noise far in the distance. The congregation looked in its direction.
A trail of smoke lit up by the fumes of a bright rocket engine appeared just above the dark horizon, rapidly approaching the descending shuttle. The shuttle reacted instantly to the threat with computer reflexes, spitting hundreds of infrared flares out its sides and bottom that formed the picture of a majestic, winged creature with their trails. The incoming missile tracked onto one of those flares, but that was not enough to save the shuttle: it detonated right beneath the shuttle, sending a burst of shrapnel into its exposed engines.
The shuttle engines sputtered for a second, giving them a moment of hope.
False hope.
The engines failed. The group watched as the shuttle flipped over, its anti-aerodynamic shape tumbling through the sky before finally crashing into a small hill beyond the horizon. They braced themselves for the minor shockwave that followed.
Skhork interrupted the stunned silence to ask the question on everyone’s mind.
“Now what?”

ZNS 2228

The communications officer of the 2228 absentmindedly depressed the key that opened an incoming FTL connection.
“2228 here,” she identified herself.
“This is… can you… Ten Whiskers Ditvish?” the scratchy voice came through the speaker system.
“I can’t understand you. I believe this is a problem on your end,” the communications officer said, inspecting the diagnostics on her console.
There was some more scratching on the other end as the speaker fiddled with their system and the crimson eyed and white-furred avatar of the caller appeared on her screen. “Ah, there it is. I apologize and take full responsibility for the poor connection quality. Is Ditvish there?”
“The ten whiskers is not available,” the communications officer said. “Do you wish to you leave a message?”
“This is Seven Whiskers Ktotssu, calling from the Birtevrut. I have an important message for the ten whiskers.”
The communications officer sat up. Whatever a seven whiskers says was usually worth her attention, even if she did not recognize the caller. “It is I who must apologize and take responsibility for not recognizing you, Seven Whiskers.”
“Yes, this is Seven Whiskers Ktotssu. Is Ditvish really not available?”
As per procedure, the communications officer verified the connection and the image of the caller were legitimate on her console, tracing the call to the neighboring system of Plaunsollib, and replied, “Yes, the ten whiskers is still healing from his injuries in the medical module.”
The caller seemed to hesitate, her face scrunching up in thought. “Ok, I think I will leave a message for now. Tell him that his hatchling has been readied.”
“His hatchling has been readied?” the communications officer repeated, confused.
“Yes, and tell him that his meal was prepared, and it is here.”
“Meal? There? I apologize, but I don’t understand. Can you just record a message for him?”
“Absolutely not. What are you, incompetent? You can’t record messages like these!” the caller exclaimed. “In fact, you know what? I will call him another time. Do not bother to give him any messages.”
“I take full responsibility for my incompetence,” the communication officers said, bowing her head.
“Good. You better. Don’t mention this to anyone. That’s an order. I will call another time.”

Plaunsollib

Svatken looked at the defunct communications drone in front of her, evidently dropped by the supply escort ships that were now expanding balls of debris.
“Something does not add up here,” she said, absentmindedly to her attendant Fstrofcho, not expecting a real response. “The readings on this drone do not match the sensor data from the fleet. One of them has been tampered with, and if I had to guess, I would say it is the one that wasn’t expected to be looked at.”
Fstrofcho made a polite cough. “The software you embedded into the Datsot fleet computers in the latest update has just flagged an unusual call to 2228 from this system, Agent Svatken. Would you like to listen to it.”
“Not now. I’m working through this problem,” Svatken said impatiently.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Bring up the data from the communication drone we picked up in Preirsput.”
He did as commanded.
She browsed over it. Several of the elements of the enemy ships matched the signatures on the drone, but not on the fleet sensor data.
“Attendant, just hypothetically speaking, why would the fleet attempt to tamper with recordings to make themselves look worse than they did?”
“They did?” Fstrofcho asked perfunctorily.
“That’s what it is looking like. In fact, all these drone sensor recordings add up to show that the fleet has not lost as many ships as Ten Whiskers Ditvish reported in the last month. He has reported far more losses in the supply convoys than corroborated by evidence. But why would someone want to make themselves look worse than they are? Usually it is the opposite, especially with outliers who normally lie to make themselves look better!”
“That seems very unusual,” he answered, aware that his job was to simply agree and help her come to the conclusion herself given the lack of intelligence and critical thinking abilities in his bloodline.
“Indeed. Most concerning. And… wait a second, what missile was that? Bring up the sensor recording of that last close shot that finished our escort,” she said, leaning into her console. Then, she manipulated it to show the camera sensor, zooming into the image. “That— that is one of our missiles!”
“Our missiles?” the attendant asked, sounding appropriately puzzled.
“Yes! Why was our own missile used to fire on our ships?” she asked, anxiety rising in her chest.
She continued to examine the footage from different angles, hoping it would inspire some new insight, but she came up short.
Svatken sighed in frustration.
“Fstrofcho, what was that call you were talking about earlier?” she asked, trying to look at it from another angle.
He dutifully transmitted the call to her console.
She listened to it. And then, she looked up the caller’s identity.
Not believing what she saw, Svatken triple-checked it against the existing biometrics files in the database. It was a confident match.
“When and where was this call recorded from?” she asked her attendant in a hoarse whisper.
“Right in this system, ma’am.”
He sent the coordinates to her console. It pointed to a position near a known comet a few light seconds outside the system limit—
“Get us over there right now and give me visual sensors on it as soon as possible.”
It didn’t take too many hours for her advanced reconnaissance ship to speed to the location. And when they overtook the comet to for the sensors to scan what was occluded on the other side of the comet—
“By… the… Prophecy,” Svatken trembled. “Count how— how many of those are here?”
Dozens of automated supply ships in pristine condition were lit up in the dark of the comet by the lights of their recon ship. The insignia of the Znosian Navy were painted as brightly on their hulls as the day they left the shipyard. There were no other signs of life, other than their own. Svatken noted that the numbers on their hull matched the ones claimed lost by the Datsot Invasion Fleet, some as recently as a week ago.
Fstrofcho may not have been bred for critical thinking tasks, but he had been trained to count without his paws. “Thirty-two in total, ma’am. How do you think it all got here?”
That’s when it clicked together for Svatken.
“Fstrofcho,” she said coldly, “Get us back to Znos immediately. And call an Apostasy Commission on the way. I must report Crimes against the Prophecy at the highest levels of the Navy.”
Previous
Chapter 54: Alone

Postponing filming (Timestamp: 1:21) - Schwartz: Well, it's funny because we're postponing filming this season. And there's been a lot of speculation, rumors afloat. Is the show ending? Is this the end? The end of an era? I personally, maybe I'm a little delusional. Maybe I'm delulu. I think we needed to let the show breathe. I think we need a reset. And maybe I'm delusional. But I feel like we're just getting started on a new era. I could be sorely mistaken, but the show… - Jax: Yeah, it's called The Valley. - Schwartz: Thats a good one. - Jax: That's called The Valley. - They all laugh - Jax: I mean, like honestly, where does it go from here? I mean, let's be real, like not everybody's hanging out as much as they used to anymore. I mean, people kind of are going off on their own paths and doing their own thing. I mean, look, I honestly would be very shocked if Ariana came back to the show. I'd be shocked. She's got a lot going for her. I mean, does actually everybody still hang out on a regular basis? You think that are on the show? - Schwartz: I still text everybody except for Ariana. I'm still blocked. Ariana, it's time to unblock me.
Sandoval during the reunion (Timestamp: 12:37) - Jax: Can I just say though, so far what I've seen, I think the way Tom is handling himself on the reunion, just the way his composure is, and I think the way he's answering questions, he's not really fired up, he's just kind of letting the questions come to him, and then he's kind of, he's very calm when he's answering, unlike the past reunions where he gets really fired up and really aggressive and coming at people and the veins are popping out. He's really doing a good job of just keeping it together, I think. - Jax: Like he's just kind of letting the questions come and he's kind of like, it's almost kind of like he took something before this because he's just kind of like, he's just there. Do you know what I'm saying? He's not really, he's not really, you know what I'm saying in the past, he's always like, you do this, but this, but that, he's not really doing that so far. - Schwartz: He wasn't hyper defensive. I think he almost lost his cool one time, I think in the last part of the reunion. I don't remember the specifics. Yeah, but I think he kept his composure and I will say like relative to, you guys remember last year's reunion, he was fucking- - Jax: Crazy. - Schwartz: Diabolical. This one was pretty civil, but raw and heartfelt and very uncomfortable at times, but… - Jax: Kristen said it felt very final. That was her words. - Schwartz: I think, listen… - Brittany: For the finale, not for the reunion. - Jax: Yeah, yeah. - Schwartz: Yeah. - Jax: That's what she said. - Schwartz: Well, it's like, yeah, I mean, you know, it's like Jax, before we started the podcast, we were talking about like, you know, when you do reality TV, there's like this, there's unspoken rule that you have to bring it, man. You have to be radically honest, but like the first part of doing reality TV, or the first rule is you don't talk about what you have to do to make a good reality show. - Jax: Yeah. - Schwartz: Like we have an understanding that we go in there, we remove our sensors, we have uncomfortable conversations that we would prefer to put off. - Jax: Right. - Schwartz: Probably forever. - Jax: Right. - Schwartz: But ultimately, they're conversations, they're organic, real conversations that need to be had. - Jax: Of course. - Schwartz: They're healthy conversations, just we do it in a condensed timeline. And I mean, I think the lines got blurred a little bit, because it's like, you know, like the fourth wall was broken a lot in our finale. - Schwartz: Like Lala's talking about show up, do your job, and there's no doubt about it unequivocally, Lala fucking does her job, but I don't know, when I think about it as a job, it feels like it kind of detracts away from the reality a little bit. - Schwartz: These are my friends, I love these people. I've grown up with these people, and I don't know, man, for the first time ever, like the lines have been blurred a little bit. It's like, because I totally understand. - Brittany: I think it's important to break the fourth wall, especially on a show like Vanderpump and The Valley, like they let us break the fourth wall too, and I think it's necessary because we've already been on TV for so long. - Brittany: Like it's not when you just first started out and you really were waiting tables all the time, and you know, it's a different dynamic. Now, I mean, you guys are getting followed with people with their cameras out the whole time you're filming. Now it's a whole different life than it was 10 years ago, 11 years ago when you started. - Jax: I like when the producers talk during interviews, like they'll answer questions and stuff. I like that because it becomes more real. And people know, they know, you know, what's going on. - Jax: They know obviously this is a reality show. They know where we work and what we do. So breaking the fourth wall at this point in the game, I think is smart. - Brittany: Yeah, I think it's a good idea. And I also did the after show with Lala. So I got to hear her ramping and raving about this whole, the finale and how like she was screaming at Ariana and stuff and. - Schwartz: I think her points were valid, but I also think that Ariana, grey walling or grey stoning, like Tom at the end and not wanting to have that conversation. I think it was earned in light of the such a crazy. - Brittany: Yeah, I mean, it was horrible what she was put there. I of course see both sides. And I'm sure you're like that too. Me and you are so much alike in these ways. Me and you are so much alike when it comes to that. - Brittany: We're people pleasers and we just, I don't really like the confrontation, whatever, but like I get what Lala was saying, cause I was in the after show with me and she was like, Brittany, you, for example, like whenever I was cheated on, I still filmed and did, I know I'm not comparing it by any means, what Ariana went through was way worse. I'm not saying it's the same at all. - Brittany: This is just what Lala said. She was like, but you still came, filmed, did what you had to do, blah, blah, blah. And of course I took him back, completely different situation. - Brittany: But I get what she was saying, like when you have to put your life out there and this is what has gotten you this far. So she had like, of course she was like heated and feeling some type of way about it. But then again, Arianna absolutely hates Tom Sandoval. So she doesn't want to talk to him. - Schwartz: And it's our job to live our truth. But that's the thing, man. I think it will be kind of polarized at the end. I think it would be a mixed interpretation of the ending of our finale. And it's like, I don't know, man. It's like, yeah, when you say it explicitly, when you start talking about doing your job, show up, do the work. - Brittany: I get what you're saying. - Schwartz: Oh, I'm like, I cringe, I'm like, you guys are my friends. These are real, these aren't storylines on a fictional TV show. This is my life. And I feel like it really detracts from the authenticity. - Brittany: I think Lala was more worried, like, are we gonna get another season? Like, if we're not talking and hanging out, like, you just never know. - Schwartz: She's right. - Brittany: It's up in the air 24 seven. - Schwartz: Yeah, but also you can't deny what Ariana said… - Brittany: Yeah, like if Ariana was like, I definitely just do not want to talk to him. Like you said, that's how she felt. They can't force somebody to do something they really, really don't want to do, even though. - Schwartz: Like if she shrugged her shoulders, and was like, you know what, it's my job. I don't know, would that have been better? Do I want that? - Brittany: Yeah, that's a good point. - Schwartz: Does the audience want that? - Brittany: That's a good point. I didn't think of it like that. - Schwartz: I don't know. - Brittany: Because then you might feel a little too forced. - Schwartz: Yeah, I mean, I was anticipating that conversation too. Like I can take myself out of the show and be a fan. I love watching Vanderpump Rules. If I can fast forward through my parts.
Bar Crawl (Timestamp: 27:03) - They talked about this bar crawl that Jax and Schwartz are hosting (I posted a Reddit post all about it) - Schwartz: And by the way, I asked Katie if they wanna include something about her, and she hasn't got back to me. I know they're only open during the day, but I don't want people to think that we iced them out. Because I'm so proud of Ariana and Katie, but it's just like, yeah.
If you had to pick one person, who brought it this reunion? (Timestamp: 31:24) - Schwartz: I would say one person who brought it. La La. Everybody brought it. I'm actually proud of everybody. The lame Schwartz answer. If I had to pick one person, I would say Lala and Ariana.
***end of recap

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Best Practices to Secure the Best Conventional loan Rates: General Tips for All Loan Types to get the lowest Mortgage Rates in Kentucky By understanding the specific requirements and best practices for each loan type, you can position yourself to secure the most favorable mortgage rates in Kentucky.-- Joel Lobb Mortgage Loan Officer American Mortgage Solutions, Inc. 10602 Timberwood Circle Louisville, KY 40223 Company NMLS ID #1364 Text/call: 502-905-3708 fax: 502-327-9119 email: kentuckyloan@gmail.com http://www.mylouisvillekentuckymortgage.com/NMLS 57916 Company NMLS #1364/MB73346135166/MBR1574The view and opinions stated on this website belong solely to the authors, and are intended for informational purposes only. The posted information does not guarantee approval, nor does it comprise full underwriting guidelines. This does not represent being part of a government agency. The views expressed on this post are mine and do not necessarily reflect the view of my employer. Not all products or services mentioned on this site may fit all people. NMLS ID# 57916, (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org).Credit Score: Aim for a score of 720 or higher. While Kentucky FHA loans accept lower scores, higher scores typically secure better rates. Down Payment: Putting down more than the minimum 3.5% can sometimes lower the interest rate. 500 is the minimum score with 10 % down and 580 and above score will you get you to a minimum down payment of 3.5% Debt-to-Income Ratio (DTI): Maintain a DTI of 56.99% or lower to increase your chances of getting a favorable rate. Shopping Around: Compare offers from different lenders in Kentucky for FHA lenders. Each lender may have different rates and terms for FHA loans. Larger Loan amounts: will yield better rates. A lender will get you a better rate if the loan is larger due to they will make more money on the loan vs a small loan amount. Credit Score: A score of 720 or higher is generally preferred, although some lenders might accept lower scores. No minimum score set by VA lenders in Kentucky Service History: Ensure your service record meets the eligibility requirements. 2 year work history usually needed Loan Comparison: Even within VA loans, rates can vary between lenders. Obtain multiple quotes to find the best rate. Funding Fee: Understanding the VA funding fee and including it in your budget can help in comparing the true cost of loans. Credit Score: Aim for a score of 720 or higher to access better rates. No minimum score for USDA loans Income Limits: Ensure your income falls within the USDA’s eligibility guidelines for your area. Property Location: The home must be in an eligible rural or suburban area. Use the USDA's property eligibility tool to confirm. Guaranteed Loan Program: USDA offers both direct and guaranteed loan programs. The guaranteed loan program often has more favorable terms. Credit Score: A score of 780 or higher is ideal to secure the best rates. Minimum credit score for Conventional loans in Kentucky is 620 Down Payment: A larger down payment (40% or more) can significantly lower your interest rate and eliminate PMI. DTI Ratio: A DTI ratio of 45% or lower is preferred. Loan Term: Consider shorter loan terms (15 or 20 years) for lower rates, though monthly payments will be higher. Large Loan Amounts: Larger Loan Amounts will yield better rates vs a small loan amount. Credit Score, debt ratio, : Maintain a strong credit history, stable income, and low debt levels. Rate Shopping: Use online comparison tools and consult multiple lenders. Rates can vary significantly with each lender. Points: Consider paying points to lower your interest rate. This is an upfront fee that can reduce your monthly payments over the loan term. Pre-approval: Get pre-approved for a mortgage to understand what rate you qualify for and to strengthen your offer when shopping for a home. Locking Loan: Lock in for a shorter term. For example, lock in the rate for 30 days vs 60 days and you will get a better rate. Be aware if you go past the lock the date, you will be subject to worse case pricing.