Happy poems that will make you cry

Hi! So I've had a bit of a journey with TMJ and I was hoping to get some feedback on what I should be doing moving forward. I'll give a recap on where I've been and where I'm at. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
For the past few years I've had TMJ symptoms such as headaches, jaw tension and disruptive sleep. So, December 2022 I saw a TMJ doctor and was told that an orthotic mouthpiece (that he is able to make himself) would solve all my issues.
This greatly helped my symptoms for about a month, and then after that it started to taper off and it felt like the piece was doing more damage than helping. A year comes around and I see a new dentist. I found out the mouthpiece I was wearing was an NTI and that wearing it for an extended period of time (> a month) can cause damage. This was pretty obvious as my bite was completely changed and I couldn't touch my teeth.
The new dentist also recommended his own appliance called the POD which I think may be similar to a TMJ night guard or invisalign. It's a clear mouthpiece that just goes on the lower teeth. He said it's supposed to help with my TMJ symptoms and will help my jaw alignment and airflow. I've been wearing it for a little under 6 months and I am seeing some results, however, not as quick as the NTI (which is expected, of course).
I'm noticing the biggest symptom that hasn't alleviated at all is my jaw tension. My dentist said that it's due to my teeth not touching and the damage done to my mouth prior with the NTI. It seems like my bite may be very slowly changing (for the better) with the POD and the dentist believes this as well. He said a realigned bite will give my teeth a resting position and start subsiding the jaw tension. However, I wanted another opinion and I was wondering what you guys think? Is there something else I should be doing? I was recommended to try physical therapy to relieve some of the tension, however, I feel like this would only be for temporary relief.
Sorry this was so long, I just want to give as much information as possible (and I can elaborate more if needed). Thanks so much and let me know any advice you can offer :)

I don't think this quote is as deep as I've seen people make it. I remember some (including myself) thought Eddie was gonna have a brain tumor or be committed. I don't think Eddie will suffer that intensely. A lot can happen in two episodes but I doubt S7 will put Ryan through too much suffering. Let’s break down the quotes.
[“There are some bombshells coming”] - easy. being exposed. Marisol breaks up with him. Kim gets scared off. Buck tries to reason with him which exposes something possibly. “Bombshell” means disappointment so I’m confident that Ryan’s house of cards will come crashing down. Maybe even bad news with family.
[“As far as we know it, Eddie has always had someone to run to. He might not have anyone to run to in S8”] - Basically, he’s SINGLE. He has no more women to run to or use as an excuse. Buck is his constant so I doubt they will fight. This season has cemented how much of a ride or die they are to each other. “Always had someone to run to” implies a pattern and Ryan’s pattern is hiding from his desires in relationships with women.
[“There are things that are going to happen in Eddie’s life that's going to leave him feeling isolated”] - “Isolated”: alone, far away, unfamiliar, or little in common with others. Also, Ryan said something is happening in “Eddie’s life” (personal) so I'm inclined to believe this is either family-related OR he comes to a realization that leaves him feeling mentally unfamiliar.
[“Season 8 is going to be almost a refresh button for Eddie. Starting into this new lifestyle of his and navigating new uncharted waters”] - so this could mean anything! Maybe Eddie realizes his feelings about Buck. “Lifestyle” is usually used when talking about LGBTQ people being LGBTQ. It would explain “uncharted waters” as a new state of mind OR the 118 could burn down and Eddie has to work at a new station which would explain the “new lifestyle” and “uncharted waters”. I’ve seen that theory and it’s a huge leap but it would make for an epic season finale. Eddie is starting anew (refresh) so one can hope that whatever “bombshell”. happens, he learns from it.
[“I think what I hope for Eddie is a greater sense of depth and an opportunity to finally let go of his past so a new future can enter”] - This is promising cause it positions Eddie in an optimistic light. A greater sense of depth means to think deeper or more open-mindedly. Eddie’s a work in progress so he’ll still have to do more to make peace with himself. I feel like S8 will have more backstory with Eddie and follow his journey to self-acceptance so he can further open the door to his future happiness (Buck and Chris).
Season 7 is only 10 episodes but aside from AthenaBobby, HenRen, Madney, and the cruise ship, Buck and Eddie have the most consistent (throughout the entire season) storyline. The first half was about Buck understanding the depth of his emotions through jealousy and Tommy. In that time frame, we got nothing but Oliver interviews. Now we’re in the later half and we’re getting Eddie’s emotional rollercoaster so we’re getting Ryan interviews.
Tommy, Marisol, and Kim are plot devices however I see Tommy continuing to S8 just to keep Buck occupied while Buck continues his self-realization. I think for this romance to initiate, it has to be Eddie choosing Buck. Buck wants to feel special and Eddie wants to make his own choices so what better way to affirm both than by having Eddie seek Buck? The isolation Eddie feels could be how he approaches Buck about his feelings.
S7 is very much the BUDDIE reintroduction season so I want to believe that Eddie realizes in the season finale whether it be to forgive himself about Shannon or his feelings for Buck. Regardless I think Buck will be involved because Buck understands the context of Shannon through conversations with Eddie in the past. Buck will know why Buck is with Kim without Eddie having to explain it. Buck getting through to Eddie would parallel 7x01 when Buck spoke to Chris about dating multiple women. Buck is the voice of reason to Eddie. Eddie has only broken down in front of Buck so I don’t think any fight or separation will happen. S7 has been paralleling Buck and Eddie in relation to how they feel about each other. Eddie indulges Buck’s neediness in small ways (affirming, trust, going along) while Buck has always attended to Eddie’s big needs (recommending Carla, co-parenting) so Buck coming to the rescue is the final nail to drive home how unbreakable they are. S7 devalues Tommy and Marisol as potential partners cause Buck and Eddie are emotionally and mentally checking out of them. If Eddie needs help, Buck will be there and I’m sure if Tommy is still around, that will be a point of contention very soon.
I think BUDDIE will be realized by the season finale. I’m open to being wrong but there’s too much foreshadowing and build-up around them this season that to not pop that balloon would feel wrong. The sure thing I’m sure of is that BUDDIE is definitely happening next season. There’s no doubt in my mind.
From Eddie realizing his feelings, to Eddie telling Buck his feelings, to Eddie telling his family his feelings. I believe the “will” will be brought up next season and I think Buck will have his moment of Eddie confessing his feelings and epic first kiss. S7 has set this all up. There’s no going back for Eddie. S8 will show Eddie choosing himself.
I think the wait will finally be over.

I have been considering a service dog for PTSD. My sweet boy, who passed 6 months ago, volunteered his services through his natural instincts at home for 8 years. He was a pit mix that would nudge me when I froze, paw at me during panic attacks, lay on me so I could feel safe enough to sleep, and wake me from night terrors. None of this was due to training him; it was just his way. I never took him places because he was sketch with other dogs so it wasn’t until he was gone that I realized he was my stay at home service dog.
I would like to have another SD but make it a deliberate choice and be able to have one that I can take out of the house so I can live more independently. I dream of being able to go places without my spouse or CBD or anti anxiety meds (or unchecked surprise meltdowns). I dream of capturing a small piece of my life back that’s been missing since I was r@ped 10 years ago.
The dreams includes traveling primarily via plane. I would like to have a SD who fits comfortably on a plane (bulkhead seats) as flights may be as long as 8 hours. I was considering a small pit but their prey drive is so high that it won’t be fair for either of us to put a little pittie in that role. A small breed (fits under a plane seat) just cannot do what I would need a SD to do.
I will be using a trainer to assist with at home training as there are so many different variations of PTSD symptoms and so few places that train SD dogs for non military veteran people. The expense of a pre trained SD beyond my means; not to mention I’m not willing to tell my story to people to ask for help through fundraising.
Any thoughts of a breed between 30 and 45lbs that could be suitable? One that tends to bound deeply with one human more than, let’s say, a golden retriever? Any ideas would be so helpful. Thank you.

Hello! I need some insight on what to look for, with what I want. And if there are prebuilt suggestions, I’m all ears!
So I’m completely over my current computer, (Mac Mini 2014 i5 dual core @ 2.5 ghz) I believe off the top of my head but I hate it so much I don’t feel like looking. It’s aged a LOT. Currently the only game I can run is Stardew Valley, which is a very light game. I used to be able to play Minecraft but with bare minimum settings (no mods, no textures on anything, every setting adjusted, etc) and I’d be lucky to get 60fps, if the game was too heavy I’d run less than 20fps, and down to 15fps, the fact that I still played with that is crazy and that was over three years ago. Now I’ve stretched the life of this hog even more and it’s gotten better overtime with constantly critiquing things but, I just need something better. I want to be able to just spend a few hours here and there playing my games without having to deal with so much that it makes video games that I enjoy, unenjoyable.
Here’s what I’m looking for, a tower that runs windows operating system, that can run Minecraft with extra addons no issues. 1080p is already plenty for me. I would like to be able to just play with modifications and “shaders” unlimited, and if that gets me 60fps I’m happy as pie. If I could get Minecraft to run 200fps with nothing extra or special, I’m even happier. I know Minecraft requires a heavier cpu.
This computer won’t really be used for much else except for maybe Netflix or voice chat while gaming. I also am into Photoshop sometimes video editing but had put it off for so long because my Mac is unbearable at this point.
I prefer a prebuilt, I had family that knew how to build computers but that was over ten years ago and today’s tech is a lot different. I’ve never built one myself and it would just be easier to just buy one that’s ready to go. My budget is kind of firm, I can spend more but deep down I know it’s a computer and it’s a lot of money to put into something that’s just a hobby. I’m not too picky with too much I just want something that runs smoothly and that could do that I want it to do.
I already have a monitor but will upgrade down the road to suit the computer I would like to get.
Thanks for reading, if you need anymore information I’m happy to provide.

Hi all. I have 2 huge plantar warts (one each foot) that I am currently treating but are very painful. In 2 months time I have booked a dream 12 days kitesurfing trip to Cook Islands. I really hope my feet will be better by then, however should they not, do you have any advice on how to make the pain more tolerable while kitesurfing? Thick neoprene socks? Anything? Thanks!

Everyone I spend time with my friend it feel so wonderful. Is it still love after all this time?
I miss her so much every time I leave after a visit.More of a story and a question. I really don’t even know where to start. You need to how painfully confusing this friendship was from the start. Met in grad school 2017, was taken with my friend quite quickly, and she expressed interest and when I followed up on her invites she wasn’t interested. So, I avoided her because I didn’t want to get involved. However, she ended up running into me all the time and something changed. One night right around Christmas at dinner, she just blurted out she’s polyamorous and a few other things. I didn’t know how to react and by the time I knew what the hell was going I, I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved, thought I might get hurt.
There were a number of nights at 3AM when she asked me to come back for coffee or whatever(that I remember), and I wasn’t sure of anything. However, we ended up living close together and then spent way too much time together during the pandemic going on trips alone, with her other partner. I felt myself falling for her again, but then she moved away and my life fell apart. But it didn’t end.
I need to clarify. My life falling apart wasn’t her fault. The pandemic pidgeon-holed me in a toxic job and then both my older parents had health incidents which required that I move back and start taking care of them and 80% of the household items and transitioning them to a smaller house. Couple that with my own health problems which are a result of all this stress and I feel like I’ve lost who I really learned to be.
I know I should be out doing things and looking elsewhere, but I have no time. I waste 2.5 hrs commuting to work, errands after work for my parents, come home cooking, scrape the remnants of myself together, take a sleeping pill (because the tv is never off) and go to bed. This isn’t relevant except to say I hope I’m not simply clinging to my friend for the wrong reasons.
I’ve withdrawn into myself, am nervous and generally don’t feel like dealing with people. Every other aspect of my life is so taxing right now.
Back to my friend. Knowing her changed me. Although I was confused, she still taught me how fulfilling it can be to make someone happy, communicate emotionally with someone and just feel content and happy being with them. Simple things like telling them unabashedly how something small they did made me happy, being more demonstrative with me affection, and how reciprocating is so fulfilling. The constant making fun of me always helped too. I think that I wouldn’t really have these feelings if she didn’t keep doing as much for me as I try to do for her. I don’t know why I feel embarrassed, but I feel content and so much more when I’m with her.
She gave me so much confidence and energy.
A couple months ago, we met up in NYC for four days and just spent time together. When I went pick up my car at the valet service, we hugged, said goodbye and (it sounds stupid) she said she wanted to wait with me. So we sat down on the bench, and she put her head on my shoulder. It just touched me. There’s a quote that always stuck with me from a young age, but it never really meant that much until I met her. It is “Find someone to sit with you, none of us are strong enough to do it alone.” I held it together until I drove away. I know it’s a reflection of how I’m struggling right now, but the time I spent with her, made me perk back up, be myself more.
Then last week we met up again. I drove 8 hours to spend 10 hours with her and a few friends. It made it clear to me how much time spent with her makes me feel more like my ‘actual self’ if that makes sense. She kept up bringing things up she wanted to do, and had already planned another trip.
Yes, I’m pretty sure she knows how I feel. When she moved away, I told her that she means so much to me and all the time we spent together meant the world. She stopped her car, ran back out and just squeezed me so hard. It felt like a stupid Casablanca moment. I’ve probably drunkenly said something I don’t quite remember too. To be clear, I don’t ever expect anything ‘more’. I cherish having her as a friend.
There’s always a part of me that hopes one of us won’t follow up. More often than not she asks me right before I leave if I’d like to do ‘something else’ with her that she’s already started thinking about. Or I’ll get a call right when I get home. I don’t ever say no.
Part of this post is me trying to understand me feelings. I know I want her in my life more, but that won’t work now or possibly ever. What does more mean for me? I don’t know. I get so much energy when I see her, I’m motivated to do so much with her. Seeing her giggle and have fun give me a wonderful feeling. The other 90%of my life is filled with constant stress, and indifference bordering on hate for my parents. And why does she make me feel like a more complete person? I don’t know.

Hello everybody!
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Okay first off, goes without saying. If you’re like 35, please don’t message me. I’m sure you’re lovely but I’m not interested in that. Also if your post history is filled with loads of sexual stuff, also please don’t message me, sorry lol but that puts me off.
So, now that’s out the way lol. I’m Zoe, I’m 17, live in England. I’m in college, doing history, psychology and English lit. I hate it so much and cannot wait to be done with it. I’m also a gymnast, nearly made it to team GB before but I got injured and lost my chance. Hopefully will get back there this year though 🙏
Gymnastics keeps me pretty busy, I have a lot of two a days and when I’m not training, I’m in the gym but I do try and have a life outside of that. I have two dogs who need a lot of cuddles and walks, I also like to go out a lot. I go clubbing sometimes (yes mr bouncer that ID saying I’m 20 is real I promise) and I go out with friends a lot too.
Looks wise I don’t know how to describe myself, I’m happy to just send pics but I’m like 5’2. Blonde, good shape. I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I have three tattoos too lol, yes not very legal but one of my friends is a tattoo artist so he did it for me lol.
I don’t know exactly what sorta guy I’m looking for, would prefer someone confident and active I guess, as most of what I do is outside. Also don’t be younger than me please lol. Outside of that I don’t mind.
Also, please say more than hey 🙏 effort is really attractive so please introduce yourself properly! :)

Ok so in sept/oct last year I noticed leaking in my living room. I live in a 2 bedroom glorified apt. That I could buy , my daughter moved out so I threw my camping stuff in there and shut the door didnt want the air working hareder to cool a room it didnt have too. .i also live on the 3rd floor nobody but the roof above me. After water was pouring out of my living room ceiling I walked the house to check it all out. In my daughters room all you could smell was mold and mildew from the 18-24 inch gash that had been pouting rain in there for god knows how long. Bring this up at hoa meeting show pics. Oh we will send someone to assess the damages and get it fixed. We had mold remediation up there not to worry it grows slow Patched the roof to get me through the winter (accepting liability ?) No Idea. Get a new property management co. In the meantime they know jack shit about it, says it doesn't look like 5,000$ worth of damage so I should file a claim for the roof that caused my problem (also only responsible for walls in) tore some carpet under the gash up black mold on underneath side of carpet, padding and tack board that was red is black. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. Tried to make this short would move 41 husband passed, no choice.

Hi PFC,
I am making $4600 a month after deductions, I live at home and have nearly no expenses, I want to move out but am unsure if I am shooting myself in the foot.
I want to plan for the future but I have no solid plans, I just want to build a foundation for myself that can allow me to live life however I've decided to settle be it putting a down payment on a house, move to another country or retire early. I don't know.
Current expenses (these will stay the same if I move out):
$136 - NSLSC repayments ($13k owing)
$150 - Phone, Internet, other monthly subs
$350 - eating out/entertainment/public transport
Savings:
$20k rotting away in chequing accounts
$10k in TFSA
The reason I haven't invested is because I feel uneasy about where the economy is headed but at the same time I'm just some stupid new grad that doesn't know better than anyone else so I need a reality check.
My expenses leave me with essentially ~$4000 every month and this brings me to two paths I created for myself:
Again, I AM CLUELESS.
Scenario 1:
If I were to move out my budgeting roughly looks like:
$2400 - Rent (Toronto)
$200 - Utilities
$300 - Groceries
$200 - Extra entertainment likely
I can't think of any other potential expenses added to the ones above so this leaves me with $900 to invest which leads me into Scenario 2:
If I were to sit tight at home I have $4000 to throw into investments, my main plan being:

1. Max out TFSA, throw everything to XEQT (maybe I should open an FHSA and do the same I'm not sure if I want to own a house.)
   
2. After TFSA is maxed, continue throwing money into XEQT in normal investing account
   
3. Continue this until I get a higher salary so half my income isn't being shredded by rent (who knows in this market)
   
4. ???
   

NOTE: I have no RRSP contribution matching so I haven't looked into it, I am in no rush to pay off student loans cause they have no interest so as far as I'm concerned its just "free money".
I get that Scenario 2 is the smarter thing to do but I don't want to live with my parents anymore. Don't get me wrong, they're amazing and supportive and don't charge me or ask for help on anything (or accept it), but I genuinely cannot continue on like this. I want to start dating again but I feel stuck right now, my life is at a stand still where I exist only to work, come home to play games and hang out with friends from time to time, I want to change that but I also don't want to ruin myself financially or depend on my parents any further. I have some reasons for not wanting to date while sitting at home but that's a can of worms I don't want to open here.
Please lend me a hand on what you think is best or something I haven't considered as my parents while stable, aren't exactly well versed in finance and I'm starting to feel useless.
Feel free to ask for any extra info, I'll try to respond the moment I can.

This reddit has been a treasure trove of information and support. We have seen many stories of other families who are enduring a hard, long few months with a reflux baby. Thank you for helping us feel less crazy and like others understand.
In our experience, we found there isn't a lot of helpful information about how to help a baby going through reflux and how to know if your baby might have reflux. So, we wanted to share our experience in hopes that you will feel less alone and maybe encouraged too!
If you want the story, here it is! If not, skip to the bottom section.
Feeding has been a difficult journey since our daughter was born. She lost over 10% of her weight in 2 days (I am told that is normal for breastfed babies). So, the lactation consultants encouraged me to begin pumping after every feed to increase supply, or 12 times a day. I did this for 4 weeks. While my supply eventually came in, feeding continued to be immensely difficult. After 7 lactation appointments and multiple appointments with the pediatrician, we were greatly discouraged. By the time our daughter was 8 weeks old, she would scream every feed and feeds would take close to two hours. Even giving her a bottle of breastmilk would take more than an hour for her to finish. I was ready to throw in the towel on breastfeeding because I was devastated at how difficult it was. Our daughter would scream and cry more than 10 hours a day. It was awful. I also experienced lots of nipple pain around this time, which added to the frustration.
When our daughter was 8 weeks old, our pediatrician referred us to an Occupational Therapist thinking her suck reflex might have issues. We had a 3 hour appointment with the Occupational Therapist who assessed that she did have some issues with tongue positioning when swallowing and a shallow latch, but her assessment was that reflux was the biggest problem our daughter was facing. We began doing exercises for the latch and tongue issues. Because of the OT's assessment, our doctor prescribed Famotidine for our baby. Now, our baby is almost 12 weeks and is very happy! Breastfeeding is one of her favorite things and is a good experience for us both! She eats in under 30 minutes and most feeds are joyful. There are still hard reflux days where she is unhappy and struggles to latch, but overall it is much better!
Here are the top things we learned:

1. We learned the signs of reflux our LO was experiencing. For her reflux looked like: Clearing her throat, latching then quickly unlatching, throwing her head back, crying as if she was in pain, tons of spit up (even 30 minutes after she ate), and she needed to be burped a lot.
   
2. Our baby developed a fear of reflux which led to a fear of eating. She became defensive during nursing, despite her hunger because she was afraid of acid coming up. She also limited her eating because with reflux she would experience more acid when her stomach was full. So, this was a key reason why our LO fought eating. Knowing she was in pain definitely gave me more grace and patience, but it was so sad to discover that she was afraid to eat.
   
3. We began to choose a baby-led feeding position
   

In the hospital, I was taught the football feeding position and was told to smash her face into the boob so she would latch. Many lactation appointments confirmed this. However, for our reflux baby, this added fear because she would try to pull away but I wouldn’t understand her cue. We learned from the occupational therapist that the baby has to trust that I see her cues of struggle so she can regroup before taking in more milk. This meant, we had to do a breastfeeding position where I was not holding her head and where she could have more freedom to pull away as she needed.
For breastfeeding we did a side-by-side position. Where the baby lays on her side right next to me. This gives her the freedom to pull away as needed. Once we rebuilt trust, I was able to do a cross-cradle position. I still do not hold her head. She can pull away as needed.
We also do this with the bottle. We started with her mostly sitting up, leaned against pillows. When reflux started to bother her, she could pull away and then come back when she was ready.

1. With our LO, we developed a mantra: When it doubt, pull it out

Anytime we think LO is having trouble and might cough/choke, we started pulling off the breast or tilting the bottle to give her a break.
For our LO, choking means more frustration and fear of nursing. I was concerned she wouldn’t latch back on, but I found it is much better to give her a break then to push her.

1. Burping

Our LO needed lot of burping. Here's our signs she needed burped immediately: clearing her throat, anytime she starts wiggling a lot, anytime she is choking or coughing, etc.
We got into the habit of always burping every 10mL of the bottle or 4-5 minutes on the breast. I also burp in between sides.

1. Upright positions make a big difference for our LO

We keep her upright for 20 minutes after a feed so she doesn’t have as much burning acid come up. It’s our way of helping her keep it down.
We had to plan when we'd do tummy time and diaper changes so that our LO wasn't at risk of spit-up (or hiccups). We did it before feeds or after holding upright for a while.

1. We learned to use a pacifier or LO's hand to help her keep the reflux down

For our girl, we found the swallow reflex can be used with a "dry nipple" (finger, pacifier, etc) to get her to continually swallow. This helps the reflux stay down for her! You and I do it all the time to keep stomach nasties from coming back up.

1. Celebrate every minute of baby sleep you get

A well rested baby eats so much better. Our LO was much more patient with us during this difficult work of feeding when she had a good nap. Give yourself grace if all you can do is contact naps.

1. Our experience with Famotidine (Pepcid)

We saw some results immediately.
We saw better results after 5 days
We saw great results after 14 days.
All babies cry. This won't change that. But it's nothing like it was before. Our LO does not throw her head back and most feeds are very positive. She's still fussy in the evening, but that can be normal for all babies.
We think we notice when it wears off, right now we're on a single dose per day. The last feed before her dose, she usually struggles. But that's nothing compared to how it was.

1. Help your Dr. by eliminating all uncertainty that it truly is a reflux problem.

We have a great pediatrician! But how do you know if a patient really does need medication when there might be something less drastic that would solve the problem? It really helped our dr. that we gave her a detailed account of the symptoms and timing of our LO's problems. It also helped that we happened to need to bottle feed our LO in front of the dr and it was terrible! The dr could see for herself what it was. I also cut dairy and regulated caffeine early. This helped our dr. be confident that a reflux medication was the best next step. We haven't added dairy back in yet. Just happy things are better right now.

1. Don't be afraid to advocate for you and your baby.

No one will care about your baby as much as you do. Lactation, pediatrics, OT, every professional has a specific purpose and goal that's aligned with what they know best. But YOU are the kid-expert. Trust your gut. If you think something isn't working or your LO isn't alright, advocate. Lactation will hope for a completely breast-fed baby. Which is a wonderful thing. But what's most important is that your baby is happy and healthy no matter how that happens. Formula, pumped, or breast-fed. Many pediatricians will be concerned with the child's development. We hit our milestones, but it came a huge cost of time with 120 minute feeds each time, and very little sleep. Make sure that ALL medical professionals giving you important advice knows your LO's backstory. We made some mistakes with this... That's another post. Taking good notes helped our occupational therapist spot the problem over time.
And when you try new things, get some sort of timeline of how long to try it before there be improvement. Find out if the medication or technique should work after a week or a month. This will help you manage your expectations when you might be feeling hopeless.

1. Know your milestones

It is normal for certain weeks to be challenging. Knowing our milestones helped us understand the full picture of what our LO was experiencing, not just reflux related. And, it gave us hope that some of the misery wouldn't last forever. Haha.
Non reflux-related breastfeeding lessons

1. Pump-related

I hurt so bad from pumping and I assumed that was normal. I went through weeks of blanched nipples and very significant nipple pain only to discover I wasn't pumping correctly! Make sure to measure your nipples for your flange size. If you are working with a lactation consultant, they can help with this. Also, I learned to check the breast pump manual to learn about the settings. I have now made some adjustments to the settings. Now that I have discovered these things, my nipple pain has gone away.

1. Shame when breastfeeding isn't working

I experienced a lot of shame and guilt when breastfeeding wasn't going well. I thought I was a terrible mom and I felt embarrassed that something that should be natural and easy was a nightmare. That led me down all kinds of destructive thoughts, fearing that I wouldn't be a good mom moving forward because this area was hard. I had to learn to reframe things. I had to start to see that any volume of milk my reflux LO got was a win. I had to discipline myself to not compare myself to other moms who could breastfeed in public for less than 10 minutes while I had to make sure to feed in the car, knowing my LO would take over an hour and cry nonstop. I had to learn that if a feed wasn't going well, it isn't a failure to decide to offer a bottle to help LO fill up more quickly. Honestly, I had to learn to lay aside my expectations and do what worked. And, I had to have my identity not wrapped around breastfeeding and my child's success. Just as my LO struggled in this area, she will struggle with more things in the future. I will be a better mom if I can love her through it without feeling shame for where she is at. Having a supportive, loving husband greatly helped when I wanted to throw in the towel. I also found that talking with my counselor and having a space to remember the truth about my baby (i.e. her struggling to breastfeed is because of the reflux, not because I am a bad mom), greatly helped my mental health and my relationship with my baby.
It is the end of week 11 for us and it has changed dramatically for the better! We are on week 3 of the Famotidine. Our baby smiles all the time and is a joy to be around. I am beginning to like being a mom, which I couldn't imagine 2 weeks ago. People say things get better at week 12 and we didn't believe them. We felt hopeless. For us, it actually did get better. But, we know that isn't everyone's story. Regardless of how long you have been struggling with a reflux baby, it is incredibly hard on the whole family. And, I don't know when it will get better for you. My prayer is that it will get better for you very soon because it sucks and is awful. In the meantime, I hope this post helps in some way or at least helps you know that someone else in the world gets where you are coming from.

Okay first off, goes without saying. If you’re like 35, please don’t message me. I’m sure you’re lovely but I’m not interested in that. Also if your post history is filled with loads of sexual stuff, also please don’t message me, sorry lol but that puts me off.
So, now that’s out the way lol. I’m Zoe, I’m 17, live in England. I’m in college, doing history, psychology and English lit. I hate it so much and cannot wait to be done with it. I’m also a gymnast, nearly made it to team GB before but I got injured and lost my chance. Hopefully will get back there this year though 🙏
Gymnastics keeps me pretty busy, I have a lot of two a days and when I’m not training, I’m in the gym but I do try and have a life outside of that. I have two dogs who need a lot of cuddles and walks, I also like to go out a lot. I go clubbing sometimes (yes mr bouncer that ID saying I’m 20 is real I promise) and I go out with friends a lot too.
Looks wise I don’t know how to describe myself, I’m happy to just send pics but I’m like 5’2. Blonde, good shape. I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I have three tattoos too lol, yes not very legal but one of my friends is a tattoo artist so he did it for me lol.
I don’t know exactly what sorta guy I’m looking for, would prefer someone confident and active I guess, as most of what I do is outside. Also don’t be younger than me please lol. Outside of that I don’t mind.
Also, please say more than hey 🙏 effort is really attractive so please introduce yourself properly! :)

(This is an alt account but I don't post much on my main anyway)
Hey,
So recently I've been thinking about life and realising nowadays I'd like to commit more to someone. I am also looking for friends with similar interests too.
Like a lot of others on here, I'm a pretty big gamer and I suppose that's core to who I am as a person, at least for now, however there's more to life and I'd love to branch out into other things, for example I'd love to travel the world, at least to some extent, and experience other cultures. Whilst for now I live in the UK and only speak English, I'd love to learn another language and hopefully move out of the UK someday, preferrably somewhere in Europe.
I go through periods of loving music a lot and sometimes having waning interest, it's usually rap/rock/metal with a few weird curveballs in there though. For series I really enjoyed, the last one I can think of was probably Homeland, crime series are somehow usually the best to me.
I am quite serious and reserved at first, but when comfortable I honestly talk probably too much, I'm usually a bit of a night owl when I'm not working (I work a zero hour contract so it changes) and I love having deep, meaningful conversations, even if in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. I'm no expert but let's talk about ethics, if we're truly alone, what we think the future will hold. I'd say I'm a bit of a dreamer to some extent and love thinking about ideas or themes, I suppose DnD would fit in this well but I've never played, definitely something I'd be interested in though.
I spend a lot of my time playing WoW and things related to warhammer, being a WoW player would be a big bonus, but not compulsory. I'd say I have a lot of interests I haven't really chased, and if someone wanted to do them with me I'd be open to a lot, I'm very open to things in general anyway. I usually tend to get on with people a bit older than me, but I personally don't care much, just probably be above 21. I'm also an animal lover and have 2 dogs, Weimaraners and can provide pic if asked!
I'm happy to give a picture after a bit of talking, my preferred method of messaging or more would be discord, if any of this interests you I'd appreciate an opening message on some things about you, and then we can move to discord.
Would love to hear from you!

ive had ideation for as long as i can remember but recently its felt more real than it ever did in the past. im not sure what else to do. i was on countless kinds of medication in the past, ive dealt with addiction, trauma, trying to pick myself back up by myself, etc for my entire life. as a child i didnt feel safe telling my parents about the symptoms and feelings i was experiencing in order to save them the trouble since my older sibling had a lot going on as well so i slowly became independent and had to keep the façade going that i had everything put together. it eventually fell through over time and it eats me away knowing that my parents did their best but their best still wasn't enough and that's ok, i understand that's just how things are sometimes. i finally managed to move into an apartment with my loving partner and our two cats. they are my world but i can't shake this feeling that's been with me since i was a single digit age. im in weekly therapy and plan to start emdr to work through the rougher bits of my past but when i stop and think about everything - im tired. im just really tired. my hallucinations are more frequent now, i think its from sleep deprivation and stress. but can hallucinations from sleep deprivation and stress go on for years? can delusions from those causes go on for years? it only gets worse. i can dismiss these thoughts and feelings for so long. distract myself here and there but it only feels like im continuing to live for the sake of others. to be something for others. i cant do what i want to do because what i want to do is die. work has been taking everything out of me. i stare at my hands when i try to engage in hobbies that i once genuinely loved and was glad to participate in. now there's nothing. i cant even bring myself to reach out to anyone about it because i dont want it to escalate. i dont want to go back to the hospital. i dont want to be prescribed medication that will numb some symptoms but bring on a variety of others only to be pushed more pills. i dont want to put myself in a situation where i could potentially relapse. it seems like more trouble and more money than its worth. money that i don't have. i love my pets. im holding off for them. i love my partner. im enjoying my time with them while i still can. its just hard when we work opposite schedules with soul draining jobs. i worked so hard to be where i am. and yet ive never felt more remorse for not being successful or serious about previous attempts. it no longer feels like a cry for help. i know no one will answer the cry. it feels like a goal that i can work toward. but this time once i reach the goal, this feeling wont follow me. my mind feels like a torture chamber that no medicine, treatment, therapy, injection, drug, action, or reaction can change. it's simply part of who i am and i can accept that thats just the way it is but i can also accept that im so fucking tired. this country is going downhill so fast. it feels like theres no hope. there is so scenario where i can make it and feel fulfilled. it won't go away. people always try to respond to this sort of thing with something along the lines of "reach out to your support system!" or "talk to a friend!" but it genuinely feels like something is holding me back from even humoring that thought. it's easier to post this anonymously. my personal struggle can't be added to someone's plate that is already way too full. i understand that going through with this would add to the plate anyway. but would it be easier to be remembered or forgotten or to watch someone fall back into their old bullshit just for the sake of keeping them alive? would the good times you had together still be good if you knew that during those laughs, and smiles, and memories that they were entirely miserable and trying to push through or distract themselves for the sake of your own feelings? it's not going to get better. i dont know when it will happen. i just know i need to follow through with completing my plan.

I've Been Doing a Lot of Whatever the Fuck I Want Lately and I Like It
It's the day of Ayonna's Zoom court hearing so she's thinking about survivalist jailhouse makeup hacks. They've improved since women used to use scraped paint chips off their cell walls as face powder, dampened red paper as rouge, permanent markers for eyebrow pencils, Kool-Aid doubling as hair dye and blush, and M&Ms as lipstick because deprivation causes innovation for self-preservation. That and Jamahl's excruciatingly murky explanation of his 2-year wedding day gap even though he's as open a book as a text at a class final that provides no specific answers to a general essay question. It's not that he wants to delay a ceremony displaying his love for Shellfish publicly; it's about financing a befittingly royal wedding for the ghetto version of Prince Charles and the late Diana Spencer to whom the masses must bow down, and that includes the judge who simply doesn't understand the trials and tribulations of a multi-tasking single mother with behavioral problems negotiating her child's breakfast.
Court: . . . will continue matter until she can show up in court next week since we are clearly inconveniencing her. 🙄
Ayonna: I'm just a single mother with no help. You're not going to tell me I can't feed my daughter; that's never going to happen. Is it ok if I give my daughter breakfast?
Court: We are in court here. This is a court proceeding. ⚖️
Ayonna: Ok. Just be hungry. 😏
Four years probation because the judge's gnarly attitude is taking it out on me? Girl, what are you talking about? Bitch, you're gonna' tell me I can't feed my daughter? She can kiss my ass! I'm livid. Livid! 🤬
Jamahl: At the end of the day filled with dickheads, we still gotta' bite our tongues.
I'm not selfish; I've just decided that taking your feelings into consideration is too much damn work.
Keep Your Head High and Your Middle Finger Higher
For someone more accustomed to being abused than amused, Candice has said "I love you" to Andrew more times than the repetitive phrase, turn down for what, in the party anthem by DJ Snake and Lil Jon of the same name. While Andrew, true to his word, kneels and immediately proposes, Candice hesitates, and in that moment, resembles a raw double-chinned Pillsbury dough girl with an unnatural sheen, a face too sunken in its gravity to show happiness, and sad raisin eyes reflecting physical distress. But Andrew doesn't clock any of this; he's carrying out his promise to Candice's mom in a dream he made up though she has more eyes on her truck as she doubtless recalls her fond days of street racing, driving without a license, attempted stolen vehicle, felony burglary and constantly running from the police. If she were wearing cargo pants, she could stuff them with the faux Louis Vuitton handbag contents to savor as she completes her halfway house program so she can change addresses. If he could see past his own needs, he'd notice she was trying to figure where the hell he got the idea she cared. If I've cut you, it's because you handed me the scissors.
Patience: What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
Joey is taking advice from Minerva, a sex columnist who looks like Chris Farley in drag who was super stoned and wandered into the backrooms of "Saturday Night Live" for a costume change and makeup refresh before rehearsing his Fellatio 101 sketch outlined on a chalkboard: Watch amateur porn for tips. Practice dirty talk. Get excited about being excited. Use both hands simultaneously and don't bogart that spit. Don't forget, steady wins the race. Freshen up before getting online and spending money for a rented motel room far away from your parents so you can have 15 minutes of precious sexy time before your monogamous lover warns you to deactivate your online profile that his friend saw. Hey, I found your nose; it was in my business.
The King Eats First
Once again, the kids are savvier than their parents. A striking Cheyenne and Nehemiah adjust their schedules to Rob's extended sentence that Tennie tries to embroider in her naïveté while every family member is worried about their displacement when Rob physically enters the picture even though he's already there in camera spirit. It's a which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg question - is it a good thing the alpha male has streams-of-revenue for Tennie's shopping jones or is she shopping because she's worried about getting with an alpha male? He's a poker king like Marcelino making 6-7K a month in jail even though online playing for real money is prohibited, and I doubt his pod mates have that kind of extra cash regularly available. Any man in this day and age who can tell a woman to "sit down and be cute" must have it figured out as a lion doesn't care about a sheep's opinion. I bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.
Does One of Your Balls Hang Lower Than the Other?
Rick looks like a twig the wind blew off a tree or a stranded lost lamb in a field surrounded by hungry landlocked predators looking for a banquet. Sandy is sending him pictures of the reunion to remind him of her existence while 4x-married Samantha is positioning herself to long-distance bullrope and hog tie her bachelor into a ball-and-chain before he has time to think about how he's going to stretch a rigorously set pension into providing her commissary and visitation requests. His pickleball buddy, Dan, doesn't really give a damn; it's only his nieces who are rightfully tut-tutting her dictatorial attitude and snarking, "Fifth time is a charm." "Maybe I do have options," Rick muses, but then turns around and crows, "She builds me up." Sure, right after she shakes him up - like a snow globe. It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble; It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

Endurance focused today. Reverse chipper like on the tread. Add-on on the floor with insane rep counts. There is a goal for the rounds you get through on the first floor block.. I think green is two complete rounds, orange three or four and red is five.
Tread Block * 45 sec push * 1 min base * 1 min push * 1 min base * 75 sec push * 1 min base * 90 sec push * 1 min base * 2 min push * 1 min base * 2.5 min push * 1 min base * 3 min push * 1 min base * 4 min push * 30 sec AO * Collapse (member’s choice)
Floor Block 1 - 15 minutes back to back add-on row distance * Coach will call out when you are going to a new rep range (part), at that point you continue on the last exercise at the higher rep range and keep adding row distance when you get through the reps * Part 1: * 5 x upright row * 5 x tap front squat * 5 x bicep curl * 5 x close grip chest press * 5 x bridge * 100m push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 2: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 10 x upright row * 10 x tap front squat * 10 x bicep curl * 10 x close grip chest press * 10 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 3: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 15 x upright row * 15 x tap front squat * 15 x bicep curl * 15 x close grip chest press * 15 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 4: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 20 x upright row * 20 x tap front squat * 20 x bicep curl * 20 x close grip chest press * 20 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 5: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 15 OR 25 x upright row * 15 OR 25 x tap front squat * 15 OR 25 x bicep curl * 15 OR 25 x close grip chest press * 15 OR 25 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to
Floor Block 2 - 6.5 minutes circuit anchor * 12 total x sprinter sit up * 12 x coach’s choice anchor (core) * 12 total x low plank alt wide knee drive * 12 x coach’s choice anchor (core) * 12 total x crunch hold with alt heel floor tap * repeat until finisher: 30 sec of member’s choice of core exercise AMRepsAP
DC commentary: >! Another endurance focused Mayhem template today. Today is like a reverse chipper where you are adding on push effort each round and also upping the rep count on your exercises each round. Not too much rowing today (unless you blitz through the weights). \ \ Pretty simple tread template today. No incline work but you will have a total of 7 minutes at base, the rest of the 23 and a half minute block is all at push pace or greater. Our coach was saying we should choose a low base to help recover but in any way you will get a lot of splats on the tread. You start with a 45 second push into a minute base. Next round increases this push by 15 seconds while keeping the base at 1 minute. Keep adding 15 seconds to the push up to the 90 second mark and then it is by 30 seconds. Your last push is a whopping 4 minutes straight into a 30 second all out. Good distance today of 5.85km (3.635 miles) in the tread block. \ \ Two blocks on the floor. The first block is 15 minutes long and again is endurance focused. You have five simple exercises that you are working through - upright rows, tap front squats, bicep curls, close grip chest press and a bridge. The first part starts off easy - 5 reps of each and then a 100m push row. Keep repeating this but adding 100m to the row each round. At a point in the block, the coach will tell you to move to the next part and in this one the reps increase to 10 and you keep adding that 100m to your row each round. Each time you get to a new part of the block, you start your exercise set at the last exercise you were up to in the previous part and keep adding distance on to the rows. This keeps on going until the reps get up to 20 and then you have a choice - either take it back down to 15 reps or up to 25. \ \ The goal of the block is to see how many total rounds you can get through. Obviously, it is easier to get through more on the lower rep counts so I think the idea is that you would need to speed through these as quickly as possible to “bank” as many rounds early on. It gets progressively harder with increased row distances. I didn’t get the formula for the part count (it isn’t shown on the screen) but the whole block is 15 minutes long and you have 5 parts so I would hope it would be every three minutes? Maybe someone smarter than me can line it up to the tread block timing but it didn’t seem obvious to me. Personally I would maybe just do 3 minutes each part to make it easy but it didn’t feel like it today. \ \ The last six and a half minute block is a core blast. You have three core exercises and a coach’s choice anchor exercise for 12 reps in between. Let this be a lesson - please be nice to your coach as I can think of some pretty nasty core exercises to do in those sections. Luckily we have a nice coach and he gave us plank holds and bicycle crunch for the anchors. \ \ The tread block was pretty hell like and the floor is tough if you are racing to get through as many rounds as possible. I would give today the usual automation 1 (🪶) out of 5 for gentleness and a 4 (☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️) out of 5 for Mayhell. !<

What job would suit me If I graduated from the faculty lf economics and political science major economics, I got high grades, but I wasn’t interested in joining this faculty my bad grades at school got me to pay for college and that’s the one my parents chose. Now I’m nearly 25 I graduated in 2021. I didn’t work for a year because I’m Egyptian and I’m not living in Cairo, I’m in ismailia city and there is bo job opportunities hear. Then I moved to cairo and worked for as an inbound call center agent at a bank (outsourced). And I left them for another opportunity, but unfortunately the opportunity got canceled or they told me that they don’t want anyone anymore. I moved back to ismailia and we discovered mom has cancer, I was applying for other jobs, but after that I decided to stay with her for ger treatment. Three months passed and I applied for an online English instructor for beginners vacancy at two companies, one of them accepted me. I’m working for them now. They don’t take national holidays and they work six days a week. I decorated to shift for part time and make it four days a week. But then my mom’s treatment needed us to travel between cities so I told them I will not continue for a while after finishing the current groups. Then I started to make the groups enter gradually, but now I feel like I’m not doing anything. First of all my internet connection sucks and the students are complaining and I’m afraid that might lead the company to fire me. Second of all I don’t feel qualified, they take anyone and my english level is B1 only and it’s not even good enough. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything in my life and I’m so depressed. I don’t even know any other teachers they make us deal with the admin of the whatsapp groups and the supervisor only and sometimes the boss. I don’t know if I should continue academically even though I got rejected before. Pr should I continue in research or maybe I’m not qualified for that. Or should I shift to any career that is not realted and start over I’m really lost I even tried career coaching but it was so costy and I felt like it’s a scam. Can you suggest what would be the best for me based on what I’ve said?

I am very excited to start my journey and baking weekly sourdough loaf and just about to start the gluten-free feeder that uses brown rice in terms of the actual ingredients to making the sourdough. I was curious if anyone’s come up with a calculated perfection as much as possible for a more fluffy less dense gluten-free sourdough, I have high and low and feel like everybody’s either guessing or haven’t really perfected anything. I suffer from certain health issues and know that I can benefit from sourdough. Also need the gluten-free option and still want to be as excited to go through this journey without endless failed attempts. Guidance is greatly appreciated. Thank you and happy baking!

1. Skinny oooh i love the guitars. when she sings "still cry... cry..." it reminds me of "i love you" from "when we all fall asleep where do we go?". i love the instrumental outro and how it transitions to the next track! 8.6/10
2. Lunch the lyrics are so cute! i love the switch up in the sonics at 2:22! 8.8/10
3. Chihiro the chorus and refrain are so infectious. i love how she sings "meee~". the bridge is sooo good i love the instrumentals there. the postchorus and outro is so eargasmic. i love this track so much. 10/10
4. Birds of a Feather oh the instrumentals are so good. oh the refrain, chorus, and postchorus are so good. i love this song it hurts!!! 10/10
5. Wildflower the guitars are nice. the vocal layering is so good. the lyrics hurt like hell. 8.8/10
6. The Greatest the guitar plucking is scratching a part of my brain and i like it. with more listens, the guitar plucking will be something i'll be looking for each time, kinda like how i feel with taylor swift's "willow" and "ivy". the sonic switch up at 3:14 is so so sooo good it's kinda like demi lovato's "don't forget" switch up. 10/10
7. L'Amour de ma vie the first half feels so chill but so addicting. the second chorus hits sooo different and so good with each replay!!! the switch up on part 2 of the song sounds so cool. would've really preferred these two to have been separated honestly. i liked part 1 better. 10/10
8. The Diner oh the instrumentals at the beginning sound so vintage like something you'd hear in those old movies. this sounds so addicting with that bass at the back! this might be an underrated opinion but i like the echoing vocal layer. 10/10
9. Bittersuite it's an okay song for me. the instrumental outro is so addicting though! 7.4/10
10. Blue i really really really love how she references the other songs in the album, similar to her song "goodbye" in "when we all fall asleep where do we go". i love the voice pitch-down at 3:26 like damnnnnnn. idk but this track (for me) reflects the album cover a lot. 10/10
this album sounds so good and i love how concise it is with just ten tracks. with some tracks being more than five minutes, i already felt like i went on a journey. this sounds like album of the year for me, so far! off the bat, i'll give it 9.6/10! actual average is 9.3/10

I’ve always thought the idea that “parents should be a united front” was weirdly combative and kind of disrespectful. Obviously it’s good to have a consistent set of rules between the two of you, but I’m talking about correcting poor behavior from the other parent (ie saying something mean, lying).
A lot of people say “don’t compromise their authority in front of the kid, bring it up later in private”. However, if kids can be corrected in front of other people, then adults can too. It’s good to learn that adults can be wrong, and if anything being able to apologize right away will make them respect you more, not less. Children should know that their parents are regular people, not infallible god-kings. It also models how to refrain from doubling down when you’re wrong.
I always hated hearing “I talked to (other parent) about what they said last night, and I explained why it was mean” That’s awesome, but as the person whose feelings were hurt, I get 0 closure.
What are your thoughts on this?

My ex and I had a very messy 1 year relationship. He was incredibly narcissistic and toxic, he made me distance myself from my family and was very selfish. He also cheated on me many times with his ex. He was also a relationship hopper who did not love himself and did not know how to be alone. I tried to help him many times and took him to therapy but he just did not want help.
Despite all of this, he helped me understand my depression and he made good music that really helped me heal.
The last time he cheated on me was with someone much younger who he met on tinder. I left and never looked back. I blocked him on everything and despite doing this before, we could never keep no contact. But this time I was determined to do so. It was incredibly hard because I cared so deeply for this person and it hurt knowing he was with someone else. They moved in together after 2 weeks and this is when I cut ties.
It took me a good 8 months to forget he existed.
3 years later.. out of the blue, I get an email from him asking if we could speak. I didn’t really want to as I know how manipulative he can be and my friends all told me no, but something in my heart was telling me this was different.
I was SHOCKED he reached out because he has an ego the size of Texas and so I never expected him to contact me.
Something seemed so off.. He called me crying (something he never did) and he apologized for everything he put me through and tells me that I was the only person who truly accepted him for who he was and his deepest regret was treating me the way he did blah blah I didn’t take too much of it to heart as I know how manipulative he can be.
Regardless, I told him I forgave him a long time ago as I truly don’t hold space in my heart for hate or resentment and that I just hope he is now being a better person to others.
We planned to meet face to face a couple of days later.
The day came and he never showed, I texted him but he never replied. I got a call that same day from him at stupid o’clock but I was so mad that he stood me up, so I didn’t answer. I couldn’t believe I was made a fool once again and I fell for his antics.
Well, little did I know that he passed away that night. His pain and regret for the things he did was too much for him to face.
As I spent the next couple of years grieving him, I learned that I actually loved and cared for him more than I thought I did and so did he. At his funeral, I had the chance to speak to his mother who always supported us and who also tried to help him to change. She told me that they did have to go through all of his things with the police, including his phone and computers. I was shocked to hear about how many songs, poems and messages expressing his love and regret. I never thought he actually cared about me at all.
This taught me that you should never underestimate the hole your absence will leave in someone’s life. However, you must give them space to miss you. Sadly, men only learn value via losing.
On the other side, protect your peace, guard your heart and forgive yourself. Apologize to them if you need to, cry if you need to and let it go.
His family kindly allowed his demos to be uploaded onto Spotify for me and his friends to listen to.
If you’re ever wondering if he misses you, of course he does but people miss people dead or alive, it’s nothing new.
Whoever you meet, always try to leave them better than how you found them - and I don’t mean baby them or try and change them - what I mean is, SHOW them, using your actions, how people SHOULD be. No matter how bad of a person they are, always be kind, always be patient, always forgive (but you don’t need to forget) - you may ask why, as some people really don’t deserve it, but please understand that you might be the closest thing to love someone will ever experience.
I hope this made sense ❤️