Firstly, did you like my title? I thought it was funny! Not necessarily original, or clever, but funny right?? Secondly, howdy reddit, it’s me again again, making a post after little while. Chugging along, rained in on a Saturday. Kinda tired, kinda bored, mostly bored. I could use someone to chat with and blow off some steam with. Ideally looking for something long term. So let’s get down to the part about me, because that’s where you’ll decide if you wanna message this stellar guy or not!
Soooo, I’m not your typical guy, I’m definitely a jack of all trades in terms of personality. I’m a bit of an introvert here, extrovert there, nerdy, but sporty, creative but also sometimes dense. I will say I’m not so much of a serious person, I try to keep things light and silly for the most part. Yknow, when appropriate. Not dropping jokes at a funeral or anything. But anyway, I’m into all sorts of things, I love to paint miniature Warhammer models and just enjoy art in general. Also an aspiring writer in my limited free time! With that, I love books, with the lord of the rings being my absolute favorite book of all time. Like most guys my age I game, mainly Xbox and pc with a big ol library of games.
I also love being outdoors, big into playing soccer, hiking, kayaking and swimming and working out to stay active yknow. If you’re down for an adventure I’m totally game. I’m definitely a countryside guy way more than a city guy, and I’ve love to move somewhere tucked up under some mountains someday. I’ve always had this dream to build and maintain my own little homestead, fit with chickens and goats and all sorts of critters we take care of together, if that’s sounds lovely to you, by all means shoot me a message!
Soooo Ideally I’m looking for something long term and meaningful. If you’re someone who ghosts after the first day or two, don’t waste either of our time. I don’t have any dealbreakers really as long as you’re a healthy person with a good head on your shoulders we will probably get along pretty well. Otherwise, things like age, race or location don’t bother me. I dooo have a thing for taller women, but that’s not a dealbreaker. If any of this speaks to you then don’t be afraid to dm me, I’d love to hear from you! :)

Absolutely love seeing these from others so thought I’d share our story a little and our timeline.
We were renting, had been here 5 years and in August of last year our landlord put our house up for sale and asked if we wanted to buy the house, we didn’t because she had it up for £100k and it needed at least £20-£30K of work doing. She told us she would sell to another landlord so we didn’t have to worry, then comes January we’d only had 1 viewing so far which nothing came from, but in January 2 viewings were booked, both first time buyers so we went into full panic mode as you can imagine. Offer was accepted from the FTB on our rented house 6/2) I went full crazy organised and:
7/2 - decision in principle for a mortgage!
7/2 - saw house on Zoopla
10/2 - first viewing, left a bit disheartened because it looked smaller than the pictures but spent over 2 hours talking about it falling in love with it all over again
13/2 - second viewing with the in laws to see what works were needed and any changes we could make were doable.
14/2 - offers put in, after a few back and forth offer accepted!
14/2-21/2 - solicitors contacted and instructed
19/2 - mortgage application put in
22/2 - MORTGAGE APPROVED
16/4 - searches came back
Had a lot of back and forth between our solicitors and the sellers solicitors, Agreed exchange for the 9th and completion on the 10th, this got changed to the 9th for completion due to the seller
9/5 - completion and we got the keys at 4pm!
Since the 9th we’ve been doing jobs changing locks, resealing the bathroom and some windows, prepping walls for painting and sorting getting the drive extended to half the front garden (doing all ourselves)
We did receive a section 21 on 25/3 ready to evict us 29/5 so we’re officially ‘moving’ into the new house 25/5 ready to get the rented place ‘end of tenancy’ cleaned so they can’t screw us any more than they have.
Edit: formatting.

context

I met my current Girlfriend on a videogame several years ago. We were young and dated for a week maybe and i got overwhelmed by her clinginess and we eventually parted ways for a few years, only messaging a few times here and there. We didn't learn much about each other, so we were aquainted strangers for a while.
I isolated a lot due to covid but also anxiety of going back out into public. So i always had a lot of time to myself to think. I developed my thoughts and opinions as i stared out the window to the world. I matured a lot. And towards the end i refound my passion for philosophy, spirituality and got deeper into jungian psychology.
Over the past several months i felt very light, or golden. It almost felt like the life path ahead of me was an angelic one, im meant to do great for the sake of others. Maybe im just conceited or egotistical tho.

middle period

This girl though, decides to text me more. Happens to go through a breakup with a bad ex. And she came to me after she got back from the mental hospital. I happened to be there when she was very low. Over time i pulled her out of that bad state and got her over her ex.
We fall in love again.
Since i was always isolated i gave up on searching for relationships, i thought i should just focus on being the best i can so i can start on good footing when i got myself into a relationship. I felt as though i shouldn't force it regardless or seek it out too much. So i didn't. I trusted that it would figure itself out. And it did.
On this second time with her though, I've been able to learn much more about her. And I've realized that she is almost a mirror version of myself, just delt a worse hand in life.

Coincidences or synchronicities?

Now, nothing is super synchronous yet but its been really trippy the more we talk.
We think the exact same thoughts at the same time.
Almost everytime i open my phone shes texting me.
We know what each other are about to say pretty often
Similar tastes in food.
Same opinions and similar interests.
Exact same goals and aspirations.
Her mother and my mother have the same birthday.
We both have similarities in our appearance.
Both want kids, and both ideally want a boy and girl.
Both have had similar problems in childhood
Both have add/adhd ish
Both have siberian huskies
And many more
I also had a dream about her and she showed me something i saw in my dream

more thoughts

We are so very similar. And every time we interact i feel theres always something that happens that is so oddly specific and coincidental that they're not ordinary coincidences. This has never happened to me with anyone else before.
I felt like i was meant to be there for her when i was. I constantly feel like something put us here and like I'm supposed to be with her.
I constantly saw and still see messages that say "if you're meant to be you'll end up back with each other" or ideas similar. Like some kind of omen. These same things, even verses about love in the bible keep reappearing in random places.
Its all so strange but sweet at the same time. But I'm going to trust it.
Lemme know your thoughts! What kind of meaning might this have? Is it more normal than i think it is?

I keep wondering if i had done kpop whether id actually pass or debut at all. given that its only just started doing western auditions its a shame cause its too little too late for someone my age to debut in kpop, i wouldve needed lots of singing practice or rapping abilities of some type.
why so many younger kids debuting in kpop as well? theres not much for anyone my age to follow these days? if theyre in the militaryi have to wait for them to comeback and even then id still not get to see them perform in person
im neither pretty nor ugly just in between average if you will, im neither talented but never had the chance to try anything of the sorts cause we just didnt have this sort of entertainment from a young age, im neither old nor young therefor do not fit in the bracket of being cute and adorable. i wouldve loved to have done something musicy even if it was only for a short period maybe in an older generation. at first i kept wondering why so many would want to do so much to themselves but i can see the appeal of it for the younger generations who have more entertainment than what i had growing up lol
my other concern is idols have to do much online to connect with their fans further and as much as i like the extra videos they do its really not what id do if i were in kpop, i feel like id do better if it had been any other older generation. like say if kpop had been around in in the 80s since it was around in the 90s i just never heard of it. they seem to have fasicnation with foreigners or foreign sounds but only just started putting actual westerns in their groups recently and you have to be so fluent at korean which i know id fail at. even so id have given it a shot just sadly im in the wrong time or generation to do it and it just seems to have a lot of general problems either with online backlash or some type of negarivity that idols have to deal with again i think those problems would be less if kpop had started from before the internet came about

My (23M) mother (58F), after three weeks of traveling through Europe, came down with the flu or something similar. Her only symptom has been extreme fatigue, and she asked for wheelchair service through the airports and asked me to carry all of her luggage. Traveling with her was difficult, as she is the type to become extremely agitated and lash out whenever things get stressful. Even something as simple as walking to a new hotel would get her dialed to 11 and lead to her snapping at you for suggesting an alternative route. When we got home, she continued to say that she was too exhausted to do anything and has asked me to do her normal share of chores, buy everything and bring her things from the kitchen as needed. I have done all of these things dutifully, but when I was out and about, she sent me a text saying “If I die…” and went on to explain how her life insurance policy worked, gave me the number of her manager and told me to call them to collect her things and said me that she would give me important information later that night. Panicking and thinking something major had happened, I called and asked what happened. When she told me that nothing had changed and she still just felt extremely tired, I became very upset with her and told her to not send me texts suggesting that her death was imminent. In response, she said “You have zero empathy” and hung up the phone.
I confronted her when I got home (and delivered her popsicles and tylenol), and said that she had leveled a very serious accusation at me that I did not appreciate, and that in fact, she was inconsiderate to scare me with death talk when nothing had changed and her doctor had even said that all she needed was bed rest and fluids. Initially she said nothing and asked me about something else. I repeated myself and she kept saying “ok”. I told her that ok is not a response and I wanted a proper answer from her, and she said “you shouldn’t start arguments with people when they’re feeling shitty”. When I pressed she paused for a few seconds and said “you shouldn’t be in here, I don’t want you to get sick”. I refused to relent, and she raised her voice at me that she felt like shit and that she had said I had no empathy because of my demeanor. I repeated that saying I have no empathy when I’m doing everything she asked of me and simply asked her to stop with the death talk is completely unfair and excessive. She then started talking as if she was going to cry and went on about how she’s “done so much for me” and “haven’t I shown you that I love you?”. She has done a lot for me, but it’s a false dichotomy to say I can’t be appreciative of that and critical of her behavior.
After going around in circles, I realized that I was never going to get an apology or acknowledgement that she shouldn’t have said that, and that she would continue to use diversion and manipulation tactics. She asked me to get her another popsicle, which I debated but did despite my frustration. After this conversation, the illusion finally disappeared and I realized what she truly was - a loving but unstable individual with deeply unhealthy attachment patterns and an inability to accept criticism, who will not shy away from underhanded tactics to avoid doing so. Which led me to accepting that I am never going to have a healthy, close relationship with her.

Me and my wife will be attending our first F1 race. We chose Austria, as we have family in Graz and we don't need to spend that much. We will be staying in Graz and we will rent a car to get to the track. We have tickets for all days, in the Red Bull Grandstand. I've read a lot about this from older threads but I still have some questions:

1. What would be a good time to arrive at the track? I would not mind watching the other categories as well. I was thinking to get there early.
   
2. How busy does parking get? What's the traffic situation? On normal days, Google Maps says 50-60 minutes to the track from Graz. How crazy does traffic get on track days?
   
3. I've read somewhere there will be a Pitlane walk that you can buy tickets to? Anyone has info on how to buy them? I hear that they usually sell out in 1-2 hours.
   
4. Is there a track invasion at the end to see the podium? Any tips on that.
   
5. Any chance of fun activities otherwise? Track laps, interviews, autographs. Is there anything happening during the weekend or in general? (I know we are close to a Fan Zone, but I can't find info on what would actually be there) We will be staying in Graz until Thursday after the race so I would not mind going back for a track/facilities tour if they open it up after the race.
   

These are just a few things that I can't seem to find a clear answer to, but I'd love other tips as well: food situation? water? noise on the track (do people actually wear earplugs?),

Hi all,
Writing here to seek advice and support.
About a year ago, my husband came to the realization of the abusive and toxic relationship with his mom. Apparently he always knew but somehow he didn't want to face it.
After some thought and with the help of his therapist, he decided to go nc with his mom. A second after, all the relatives from that side came to shame him for being a horrible person and leaving his mom by herself. Nmom made it always very clear she expected my husband to stay with her and take care of her until the end.
A few months have passed since he went nc and now nmom is escalating the shaming. She reached out to my husband's friends and basically shared a sobbing story of her life and how horrible my husband is. The cherry on top, nmom went to my dad (only have a dad as my mom passed away) to shame my husband too. My father loves my husband and basically just received and deleted the text message from nmom.
I know all of this is very stressing for my husband and I feel sad for that. I wish he could have had a nicer mom and a nicer family. I don't know to best support him through all of this. I wish I could just fix up everything but I can't and I really don't know what to do to make it easier for him. So I'm here asking for advice on how to be supportive of this and how to keep moving forward.
Many thanks for your support

SYNOPSIS: Walking your OP monster girlfriend home is easy. No one messes with you. Getting back to your house on your own? That's the tricky part.
What's worse than an eldritch building? How 'bout a bigger one?
First Previous (See NEXT>> in comments)
Chapter Cover Art (From Mood Writing Sample)
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Norman took one look at the towering building to his left. Then he took off.
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“̷̵̵̷̶̷̶̶̸̶̶̸̴̡̛̮͉̹̪̼̙̤̲̤͔̗̮̥̣̜͓̟̞̃̔̈́̑̈̍͌̂̂̐̋͛̉̓G̵̶̸̷̴̸̵̵̴̶̸̷̸̴̶̨̢̧̞͈̠̜̳̪͎̬̜̱̫͚̝̩̑̒͐́͆̃̿̉̆̉̃̓̀̎̐͂̎̒̕̕͘͝͝Ǵ̷̷̷̴̸̸̷̷̷̷̵̨̢̞̥͓̰͖͙̰̝͖̩̺͍͎͉͌̽̂́͐̓̀͒̐͗́M̴̷̶̵̴̷̵̶̵̴̷̷̢̡̧̢̛̫̲͕͇̗̯͚̥͙͓͓̀̒͑͒̂̊̅̐͛̂̄͌̈̚͝M̴̷̶̵̴̷̷̶̷̬̼̭̗͍̺̳̩̱͍̂̄̾͂̔̽̇̀͝͝͝͠M̶̯̙̥͕̞̰̗̗͐̔!̸̞̞̬̼̖̩̈́̇͊͐̾͑͋̉!̷̧͈̘̬̆͑͝!̶̤̜̔̓̆̅̔͆͘͝”̸̨̧̼̭̫̒͜

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The new hunting cry boomed through his body. It was much louder than the first building’s, albeit shorter, like a tap on the shoulder from a titan proclaiming its presence to the world.
Of course, the tap of a titan could flatten a man.
Norman fell. His legs had simply stopped working. Jaws clenched, he forced his will into wobbly muscles. His palms slammed into the waterlogged street, stopping the fall. With a sharp push, he sprang back to his feet and ran on.
Norman yanked out the remaining two flash grenades on the go, strung them together, armed and drew back for a throw.
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“̷̬̳̙̍̎̆G̴̥͇̥͔͕̫̈̀M̵̛͇̜͙͇̫͔̭̩̝̜̓̈̏̓̓̀͛̚͜͝͝M̷̩͈͉̘͙̿͌̃̽͂̃̏̏̓̾̈́͌̈́̉̅̄̉͘!̷̢̧̢̤͓̭̖̝̏̏̄̓̾̉̆͋͘͝!̵͍̱̼̮̯̺̲͙̖̮̗͓̻̓̊͂̒̔͐̎͘͘̚!̵̙͍̟̌͒̃͂̎͠”̶̡̛̠̱̭̞̹̟͉̒̎̎̂͂̐̈́̓̄̚̕

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That quick boom pounded through him. His fingers faltered. The flash grenades slipped from his grip and fell. He was still recovering from the sound when they went off at his feet. The nightsight filtered the flash, so he didn’t go blind. He’d gutted the flash grenade’s speakers, so he didn’t go deaf. The peeping building could deafen him all on its own … no, this wasn’t a peeping building. He’d slew a peeping building. They were small fries by comparison.
This was an eyescraper.
Tentacles the width of busses unsheathed from its sides. Even if he’d managed to launch the grenades and bathe it in smitelight, he suspected that wouldn’t be enough.
Norman sliced at its eyes with a focused beam. It barely flinched. Maybe if it got close enough, he could affect it a bit. By then, it would be too late.
Throbbing chuffs thundered from the monster. It sounded like a laugh.
Norman shot it a defiant glare. He bolted. Not fast enough. He could feel the giant closing in. So, he moved faster. Then faster, and still faster. His muscles blared their warnings. Rain lashed his face. He felt the air begin to resist his movements as he reached a speed at which it mattered. It was in his way, so he pushed through it too. No one was there to tell him he was moving far faster than any human known to history. All he cared about was hearing that thing fall behind him, and so it did. The tremours of its tremendous movements grew fainter.
At the end of the street, an apartment building came into view. Norman threw himself against it, climbing with the reckless abandon of a madman. He was halfway to the top.
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“̷̧̨̭̹̘̥̮͖̤̻̥̬̌̀͒̔͌̊̀̚͜͜͠Ǧ̶̨̨̧̺̘̰̗̘̥̝̗̦̩͖͎͋̈͑͐̒̽̉̔͛̾̒́̕ͅM̴̨̉́̾̉͂͆̔̿̀̃̇̎̍͆̂̽͗̔͘͠ͅM̷̝̻̱̆̍͜!̴̮̬̯̮̦̖́͂̆͋̿̇̎̄̄̅̂͑̎̀̕͘͝͝͝!̸̲͎̲̼̠̮̱͖̥̭̤̩͓̘̜͈̟̖̮̰̦͖̀̂͗͂̽̈́̋͌͂̐̓̈̕!̸̜̆̿̋̔̽̕”̷̢̦̜̰̼̳̝͓̆͗̈́̆̆̑̃̾͑̀͗͒͆́͐͒̈́̿̽̕̕͜

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His grip went limp. He fell. Struck the ground. His head bounced. The world grew fu...z z y.
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W
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_CHAT

• LEMMY.OUTA.HERE: (Stupse) Well, he ded.
• BAJANETTE11: ARN74, JUST GO AND FIND HIM!!!
• ARN74: HE DIDN’T SEND ME DE PIN! DIS BAAARE STRESS! NORMAN, YOU PUNK! YOU EMOTIONALLY INVESTED ME IN THIS CHANNEL! IF YOU DIE NOW I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

Something was yapping in the background, but it wasn’t important. He felt fine. Everything was fine. Why not rest? Why was he even-?

_CHAT

• ARN74: YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE AMY!!

What? No he didn’t! Promises weren’t for trolls! Why would he leave Amy anyway?
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“̸̼͔̖̜̫͍͚̊́̽͆̓̂̋̋͐̕Ģ̴̢͕͉̯̺̗̖͔͙̪͓̻̯̫̭̙̱͕̠̭̩̌M̸̨̧̘̟̹̖̻̲͍̭͓͉̰͙̦̣̜͉̻̎̅͗̇̈́̈̏͌̓̾̀̈̈́͜M̵̢̢̖̯̦͍͕̝̯̥̹̪̠̥̰̝̖̊͛̀̇͜!̵̢̡̡͚͕̘̟͕̥̦̪͆̈́̿͆!̴̛̹͈̜̥͔̬͎̪̩͚̦̯̟̘̩̰̳̍̑̂́̌͌̎́̒͋̽̿̑͌͝͝!̴̛̥͕̪͂̂̂̈̓͆͗̇̄̈́̌̅̎͂̕̚̕͝͠”̷̧̧̛̠̝̰̞̘͙̥̖͎̭̞̜̳̟̓͆̌̊̃̔́͒͋̇̈́͘̚͠͝ͅ
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Oh, right. There was a skyscraper running him down. To think he lived in a world where that made any sense. He rubbed his throbbing head. It was hard to think, though.

_CHAT

• ARN74: TRY AN CLIMB DE TING OPPA!

Brain fog would have to wait.
In two twos he jumped onto the side of the building and kept going up and up without breaking the momentum of the leap. Adrenaline had challenged gravity. Gravity lost. There was no pause to assess handholds. There was no rain stinging his face. In his mind, there was only ‘CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB!’ Crest the rooftop. ‘RUN, RUN, RUN!’ Descend the other side ‘JUMP!’ Gravity greedily reclaimed Norman, dragging him 4 storeys down at breakneck speed. He hit the ground in a parkour roll. Bruised a bone. Nearly fractured a shoulder. Wrenched his spine. Joints, muscle, ligaments almost popped. They didn’t.
He was running again.
Norman had never heard a building shred like paper. He’d never thought to wonder what it sounded like.
*( ( BMMM! ) ) ( ( BMM! ) ) ( ( BOOM! ) ) *

SHHHHHRRRRRRMMMM!

Now he knew.
Those booms … was it the eyescraper’s tentacles breaking the sound barrier, or punching holes through the apartment building? Maybe both. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that it was tearing the building in two with the ease of one parting curtains. Buildings were not designed to be parted. Two became legions as the sundered building collapsed.
Norman rushed for an abandoned truck, slid beneath the trailer. Not quite fast enough. Most of the rubble didn’t reach him directly, but upon hitting the ground? It pulverised into a blast of cloud like a sandstorm. Hissing beneath the trailer, the dust stung at his ankles. He ignored it, racing for the truck’s cabin at the front. Perched on the step beneath the door, he braced as the dust raced beneath, around and above him. The cabin was his shield. He flinched to a duck when its windows shattered as the dust cloud blasted straight through them. The truck rocked and slid slightly, bombarded by wind and dust. It lurched as a chunk of debris finally reached it, crumpling the trailer like cheap foil.
Time to move.
Particles prickled Norman’s eyes, finding their way through the nightsight. He took a fresh glimpse of the path ahead before clouds of grey engulfed it all.
Memorised.
He dashed on. A split second later, the cabin was levelled under a larger slab of concrete. More sporadically thundered down around him. His eyes were squeezed shut, denying entry to any more particles. He scrambled through the street, dodging obstacles from memory. As for the concrete rainfall that couldn’t be seen? He had some prayers about that, but it probably came out like half-baked gibberish.
Norman chanced opening his eyes. They watered like crazy. At least most of the dust was gone. Behind him, the eyescraper’s menacing silhouette was picking through the rubble. Finally, an unblocked street was in sight. He rounded the corner.
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“̵̨̢̮͕̻̲̺́͠G̵̣̒́̓̽̅̊͘͝Ọ̷̝̣͓͙͔̀ͅͅǪ̷̜̺͚̲̯̭̈́̍͂͑̋̋̅͂̅́M̷̨̤̭͈̯̤͋̾̏̈̅̉̀̏͘M̵̡̢̙̱͌̊̓͒́͌Ḿ̸̳͗̀̀͐͒͗́͠ͅ!̷͍͉̣̪̫͙̳̲̤̎̀̾̅̈́̔̎̑͘͜͝͝!̴̨͈͖̘̖̅͛̋̽͠!̸͎̩͓̫̥̼̫̊”̵̫̗̞̣̝̃̅̕͘͜͜͝ͅ
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Another peeping building, rumbling in from the new street. Alright. Straight it was.
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“̷̢̧̻̹͚͔̾G̵̳̭̾̃̎̍̌̂̈́̂͛͘M̶̧̠͇͔͚͉̮͈̰͒͊́̏̔̄̾̊͐̒͂͜M̸̳͓̋͋̔͑̔̔̕͝Ő̷͓̟̱̮͓̍̂̾̽̇͘͠Ô̸̧̫͉̮͚̥̥̯̈̾͋̅͂͘̚M̶̢̫̥̰̮̪͙̬̙̗̺̽͒͐͌̋̈̄͆͝M̴̢̧̧̛̗͔͓̫̭̳̱͑̉!̵̡̛̛͍̲̓̅̑̈́̿̏͘̕͠!̸̧̖͔̣̩̏́͋̀͛͂̏̀̇̑͐!̴̧͕̝̮̤̱͈̬͋”̸͓̉̈́̑̎͊̌
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Maybe not. A third building emerged from the rainfall ahead. All streets blocked. He glanced about. All alleys still blocked. This really was a hunting net, but this much energy for a tiny human? Predators weren’t usually like this.
He ran for the nearest building that wasn’t occupied by eldritch calamari.

( ( BOOMM! ) )

The eyescraper’s tentacle crossed his path. Its supersonic shockwave sent him flying.
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Norman came to. Rain poured against his face as he lay on his back. How long was he out? Why was it so cold? The atmosphere didn’t quite feel right. It didn’t look right either. Something about the colours, or subtle lack thereof. Everything seemed a bit desaturated. Norman sat up and coughed his lungs out, evicting a mix of dust and rain water collected in his slackly gaping mouth. Buildings towered above him on every side, a bit too close for comfort.
.
“̸̮̼͍̻̯̲̹͓̬̻̓̍G̷̛̖̙̰̰̟̓Ḿ̸̧̨͊̊̔͒͌̆͆͘͠͝M̷̧̺̏̿̆͑͆͋̅͌̕͝G̵̰̺͇̺̯̲͇̠͖͂͜M̸̡̨͕̹̗̥̎͑́̾!̸͇͙͚̝̩͕̙̒!̵͙̬̮̪̏̍!̶͔̪͉̙̘̃̐̄͝”̶̡̡̥̫̻̝̜̫͙̩͛ͅ
.
Oh, right, those weren’t just buildings.
Norman raised a finger, gesturing to wait. “Could you *kaff!* quit subwoofin’ at me for, like, ten seconds!”
“Plucky.̵͚͐͝ for all seasons I .̵̦̺͐̅see,” came a skin-crawling voice from behind him.
Norman swung back his smitelight. It barely moved half a foot, then it stopped. Rather, something stopped it. That ‘something’ was cold. So cold. His wrist felt the chill without even touching it.
Norman turned, slowly, so as not to trigger further attacks. He found himself looking up.
Eight feet tall. Dark grey skin. A grin that went a little too wide. Dagger teeth. An open-chested jacket, revealing sinewy muscles with luminous markings like tattoos. His ebony eyes bore penetrating white pupils. Of all his traits, the dreadlocks stood out most. They belonged in a nightmare, dancing through the air with a life of their own. Somehow, they looked blacker than black, absorbing every ray of light or heat that came their way. That icy chill in the air shifted with the movements of his dreadlocks. They seemed to drink life from the air itself. Norman almost found it hard to breathe. One dreadlock clutched Norman’s smitelight, only by the tip, but its grip was iron.
Norman stared the tall man down.
The nyctal’s grin grew by a smidgeon.
Taking a calculated risk, Norman released the smitelight. Perhaps a peace offering would do good.
“Good.̷̧͋͌̎̿ boy,” the tall man nodded, admiring the smitelight as the dreadlock rotated it. “Clever.̴̧̤̩͈͓̖͂ͅ toy.”
Norman noted an understated Jamaican accent in his voice.
More dreadlocks slithered across the smitelight, as if tasting its every nook and cranny.
Norman did his best to look casual as he scanned for an escape route. The eyescraper’s tentacles had wrapped around the street, fencing him in.

_CHAT

• BAJANETTE11: 😳
• DARCIE222: okay, i’m back
• HARD-BACK-M8N: who you is again?
• DARCIE222: i left after the twilight angel sleep paralysis
• LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: And you’re back for more?
• DARCIE222: wonna know it impossible to stay away from a channel like dis

Norman looked at the tall nyctal again.

_CHAT

• DARCIE222: 😲 WHO IS THAT?!? AND WHY IS HE KIND OF …??? 😍
• MUNSTER-VERSER: I KNOW!!!
• BAJANETTE11: HE LIKE A VAMPIRE RASTA MAN! ❤❤❤
• ENTO_MOLLY: MOVE OVER MIGUEL O’HARA!! 😍🥰😘
• BAJANETTE11: NORMAN ASK FOR HE NUMBER!!!
• NORMAN: I HERE ABOUT TO DIE AND WONNA WANT HE PHONE NUMBER!?!

The nyctal’s eyes shifted to Norman inquisitively. He frowned, raising an eyebrow as the comments piled up. Finally, he smirked mischievously.
“Your fanbase has peculiar tastes,” purred the tall man.

_CHAT

• ENTO_MOLLY: 😳 Is … he talking about us? HE CAN SEE THE CHAT???
• DARCIE222: THE WAY HE SAID IT!!!
• DARCIE222: HBVJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJKL;K''
• LEMMY_OUTA_HERE: Did she just pass out on the keyboard?
• LIKKLE-BOY: lol!
• ARN74: you’re simping. Norman’s about to die, and you’re simping

The tall man handed Norman his smitelight.
Norman’s suspicious gaze flicked between the nyctal and the weapon. Finally, he reached out and took hold of the smitelight.
It crumbled in his fingers like ice-cold ashes. If not for the insulation gloves, he might have gotten frostbite.
The nyctal laughed.
Norman didn’t find it particularly amusing.
The tall man sauntered towards the eyescraper. Beyond it was a darkness even the nightsight had difficulty piercing. He beckoned Norman as if it were an afterthought.
“Please come in, .̵̭̻͌̓̂Norman.̶̲͕͇̅̑̚,” the nyctal instructed.
Norman stared stubbornly, hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels. He felt for his smartphone. It wasn’t there. When had he lost it?
Without looking back, the nyctal held up Norman’s phone. It disintegrated between his fingers as he rubbed them together.
Norman glared. At least the guy hadn’t pickpocketed deeply enough to find other things.
“Hey. To whom do I owe the … pleasure?” Norman almost had to push the last word through his teeth.
The nyctal stopped in the eyescraper’s doorframe. Shrouded in shadow, little could be seen of him, save the piercing white pupils peering out. Then the glint of his Cheshire grin.
“.̴̜͓̭̻̤̍̈́̆͑͑John Crow.̸̻̮̓̈́̏̓͘,” he answered, before receding into the darkness.
The eyescraper’s tentacles dragged in across the street, corralling Norman towards the building. With an exasperated groan, he trudged towards the main entrance.
“I want my bed,” grumbled Norman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I've just finished a full rewatch of the Viz dub including the movies and specials, having watched a mix of the OG English dub + some of the sub as a child, but never in order all the way through. Here is my review no one asked for:
Classic: Great intro to the characters, loved it when the plot was somewhat moving, and the relationship between the guardians was really well developed. I found the Jadeite/Nephrite arcs really dragged at points, however once the Rainbow Crystal arc rolled around things really get going. I wish we could have seen a bit more flirtation/romance between Mamoru and Usagi. The finale was simply stunning and emotional, bringing me to tears.
Favourite filler episode: "Love and Chased: Luna's Worst Day Ever"
Favourite plot episode: "The Shining Silver Crystal: The Moon Princess Appears"
Special mention: "Usagi's Eternal Wish: A Brand New Life"
Sailor Moon R: I quite enjoyed the Makai Tree arc, however as above I found it a bit of a missed opportunity with Mamoru/Usagi and romance. Once again, the beginning of the season was overall a bit rough. And Chibiusa... while her behaviour was understandable it wasn't enjoyable to watch. And the less said about the break-up arc the better. The Black Moon Clan were pretty cool though, and Chibiusa definitely improved as the season went on.
Favourite filler episode: "Venus Minako's Nurse Mayhem"
Favourite plot episode: "Saphir Dies: Wiseman's Trap"
Special mention: "Usagi's Crisis: The Tiara Stops Working"
Sailor Moon S: I mean what can I say that hasn't been said before? The peak of the series - from the first episode you feel the raised stakes and improved production values. The Outer Senshi steal every scene they're in, the pure heart crystals format adds an emotional character driven layer to even the monster of the week episodes. The Death-Busters make hilarious but compelling villains, and the Hotaru arc is utterly captivating. Chibiusa is also handled far better - her friendship with Hotaru is her at her best.
Best filler episode: "Coldhearted Uranus: Makoto in Danger"
Best plot episode: "The Shining Shooting Star: Saturn and the Messiah"
Special mention: "The Death of Uranus and Neptune: The Talismans Appear"
Sailor Moon SuperS: Now I heard everyone hates this one, and honestly it wasn't as bad as I expected. The animation and music are gorgeous, and the slice of life comedic episodes are mostly done really well. I also love the villains, especially Fish's Eye. However I do find the focus on Chibiusa grating at times (although still better than R!) and Pegasus/Helios... eh. The worst crime for me is no Outers - why?? I really felt their absence, and I think having Hotaru aroudn could have made Chibiusa stuff a bit more compelling. Overall I enjoyed this season for what it was, but it did drag at points.
Best filler episode: "Storm of Love: Minako's Grand Two-Timing Plan"
Best plot episode: "Dreams Forever: Fill the Heavens with Light"
Special mention: "Shadow of Evil: The Trio's Last Chance"
Sailor Moon Stars: Ok, so this one was back with a bang - the Outers are back, and the stakes are higher than ever. The Nehelenia arc in this season is pretty much peak Sailor moon. Then the Galaxia arc - I enjoyed the Starlights (well I mostly enjoyed Seiya) and it was interesting to add a different dynamic to the group. Sailor Aluminium Siren and Crow were two of my overall favs, and I liked that we were back to dramatic high stakes like in S. The end was beautiful, and I may have shed a tear.
Best filler episode: "A Night Alone Together: Usagi in Danger"
Best plot episode: "Usagi's Love: The Moonlight Illuminates the Galaxy"
Special mention: "Night of Destiny: The Sailor Guardians' Ordeals"
I loved all of the movies and specials - the R movie and Ami's First Love are the peak of the entire series animation wise for me.
My rankings of the seasons: 1. S 2. Stars 3. Classic 4. SuperS 5. R
My rankings of the movies: 1. R 2. S 3. SuperS
So those are my thoughts! Don't know what I'm going to do with myself now - read the manga or watch Crystal?! Would love to hear all of your thoughts on the series too :)

Hello again! I’m not sure if you've read or seen my other posts about roleplays but this one will purely be about Jujutsu Kaisen!
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I was born and raised in Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good these days. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
ROLEPLAY
For what i’m looking for, i’d have to say basically anything in the Jujutsu Kaisen universe. Perhaps something done in the Shibuya Arc, or even the Culling Games Arc where are our characters are participating. Or maybe something entirely different. I think it would be cool if our characters were strong on their own and everything was set up in the Culling Games Arc, them having to maybe ally or something. But we can also have it be basically them fighting together to make themselves stronger and then fight new enemies as well. I’m down for ideas!
I’m also down for a Modern AU roleplay with the original characters. Maybe an OC x CC or CC x CC in that case!
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

Hello again! I’m not sure if you've read or seen my other posts about roleplays but this one will purely be about Jujutsu Kaisen!
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I was born and raised in Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good these days. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
ROLEPLAY
For what i’m looking for, i’d have to say basically anything in the Jujutsu Kaisen universe. Perhaps something done in the Shibuya Arc, or even the Culling Games Arc where are our characters are participating. Or maybe something entirely different. I think it would be cool if our characters were strong on their own and everything was set up in the Culling Games Arc, them having to maybe ally or something. But we can also have it be basically them fighting together to make themselves stronger and then fight new enemies as well. I’m down for ideas!
I’m also down for a Modern AU roleplay with the original characters. Maybe an OC x CC or CC x CC in that case!
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

So I’ve (19F) known that I was queer since I was 14. And I knew that I liked women but I never knew how I felt about men. I only recently realised it was comphet that I was struggling with.
My parents aren’t necessarily homophobic because my siblings have come out to them and they’ve been somewhat accepting of them, but I’ve always been the most straight passing sibling and they’ve always spoken to me about my ‘future husband’ and grandchildren. I always felt that admitting to myself that I was indeed lesbian would be something I couldn’t come back from and something that my parents would struggle with. So I’ve always left a tiny bit of room for men in my life out of the slight chance that I might be bi.
But uni has given me the chance to explore!! And after getting with a few guys, it solidified that I just do not see myself dating nor marrying a man. But I’m still struggling with that. I’m feeling a bit upset at myself because it feels as if I’m disappointing my parents.
However, I still label myself as lesbian now and ngl I feel so much better about myself!! I feel so honest with myself and I’ve started feeling the connect between my self expression and my sexuality and they’ve all just been so interlinked. All my friends know and so do my siblings who have been majorly supportive. They’ve also been reassuring me that when the time comes, we will deal with the adults in our family. It is not something I have to stress about yet because I’m not in any relationship. All my siblings, cousins and friends constantly remind me to enjoy the freedom that I have in uni and away from my parents for as long as I can and that has definitely helped me feel so much better about myself!
I guess I just wanted to share this on here for anyone who might be having similar struggles. I’m just so excited about my own journey this year because I just feel so - for the lack of a better word rn - “correct” just being myself and I hope anyone out there struggling with their identity can someday feel the same.
Lots of love always❤️

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.

1. The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.
   
2. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.
   
3. Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.
   

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an enpowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

This is based off a post I saw somewhere else, and I thought it could make an interesting mental exercise where you'd have to think about what's the most important to you and how your goals would change based on the amount of time you had.
For the sake of this game, you'll know with 100% certainty that you'll be dead after your time allowance is up. There's no "but what if I only think I'll be dead in six months but then I'm not and I fucked up my entire life?" When your time is up, it's up. You'll be dead and won't have to live with the consequences of your actions.
So just for fun (and growth, maybe?) here's mine:
If I had 24 hours to live: Realistically, I'd know I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything of substance, so I'd just focus on pure pleasure. I'd go out and do something fun, maybe go to the nearby theme park in the city I haven't been to in a while or an expensive night club and wear my favorite outfit. I'd eat and drink whatever I wanted, and however much of it I wanted. When I got back home I'd take something to keep me as calm as possible and call/text the people I care about who live far away to let them know I care about them. I'd spend my last hours in bed watching a comfort movie.
If I had a week: I'd go on a road trip with my entire family to somewhere I always wanted to go to, maybe LA or somewhere similar, and spend the rest of my days there. Probably my actions would be pretty similar to the above, I'd just have slightly more time to do bigger things and say goodbye to people in person.
If I had a month: I'd quit my job for sure (for the top two, idk if I'd even bother to formally quit, I'd just stop showing up) and again, probably act fairly similar to above. I might try going to another country like Italy or Japan to see what it was like and try their food, but I don't think I'd want to die there. I'd also try and maybe finish something creative before my death, even if it was just a short story or a few poems.
If I had six months: 100% quitting my job and putting all my energy into finishing my long term writing project and having fun. I'd use my savings and hire a cleaner to come in once a month to take care of boring everyday tasks so I have as few distractions as possible.
If I had a year: Same as above really, but I might also try and experience a brief romance before the end. Probably wouldn't be able to truly fall in love but hopefully I'd at least meet someone cool.
If I had five years: I wouldn't quit my job, but I also try and find something better and something that would be fairly undemanding. I wouldn't be making any big career or life plans, but I would try to write something and get it professionally published before I died. I'd want to leave having made my mark on the world in some significant way.
If I had ten years: I'd probably quit my job ASAP to go back to school, while trying to find a relationship and work on my creative projects when I had free time or after I was done. IMO ten years would be super hard for me because it's long enough to where I'd definitely want to build a life but short enough to where I'd really have to haul ass if I wanted to make that life come to fruition.
If I had twenty years: Honestly, I'd probably be doing exactly what I'm doing now just with even more anxiety lol.
So yeah, feel free to add yours!

First of all, I’d like to preface this story with a piece I wrote in my journal 2 months ago while still in my relationship.
Here it is:
I’m almost 30M, and wonder how you would deal with this situation?
Backstory: I didn’t have my first girlfriend or even sex until age 20. I was very sheltered when I was younger and shy. I also moved several times so never got the chance to meet girls from social circles. I had almost a 2 year long distance relationship from age 20-22 (seeing each other in person only a few times a year). Well that didn’t work out and it devastated me. I did truly love that girl and she was also my first so it took 3 years to get over.
In that time following the relationship, I slept with more than 10 people, gained experience, and eventually found another girlfriend in person at age 25. That ended at age 26, but was off and on until age 27. It ended for good reason, because it was a tumultuous relationship with a lot of fun, but also arguments. She was super attractive which made it hard to let her go even though I knew it had to be done.
Following that relationship, I yet again worked on myself, dated and slept around, and eventually met my current girlfriend midway through age 28. It was one of those situations where you start out just hanging out and eventually see each other every week… then the question of “what are we happens”… I went along with it even though my eyes were still peeled.
Well now, I’m almost 30, a few months away and I’m scared. A part of me feels like I missed a part of my youth and I’ll never find that stunner I’ve always looked for. Being sheltered all my life and not meeting anyone via social circle messes with me emotionally. I’ve dated beautiful woman, but it’s not like I can change time and go back to 25 again and date around 20 year olds… right?
I also moved to a completely different state and started a new life 2 years ago. But every day I think about my last relationship and the life I used to live in that state. “The good old days” I like to say. I have a new life now and good situation, but a part of me feels lost.
That’s what I wrote back in March. I knew I had a good situation, a very stable relationship and job, but I almost felt like I was still unfulfilled. Mostly because I never really experienced the kind of girls that truly interest me I guess? I hate to sound superficial, but if you read below it will make further sense. It wasn’t all about looks. While she was nice and sweet, she was rather boring and didn’t banter with me.
So fast forward the story to today, my recent ex broke up with me a few weeks ago. We had been dating about a year and a half.
I met her about a year and a half after that toxic relationship to a really manipulative, yet attractive girl I talked about above. This new relationship was the complete opposite, almost to the point of being cringey. She was really loving but it was almost overwhelming. She also was not as atractive as my last gf in terms of looks. Not unattractive by any means, but I certainly didn’t feel super proud walking around with her or introducing her to people. For much of the early part of meeting this new girl, I did still constantly think of the toxic ex and compare, but I was ready for something new and thought I was so far removed from the last relationship - I went along with it.
Anyway, Eventually she asked if I would be her bf at about the 3 month point after meeting. At first I was apprehensive of the idea because I wasn’t sure about committing and if I wanted to keep “searching.” I got to the point that I was done with hunting as I had tried tirelessly to find someone for over a year. She was a great girl but I wasn’t sold on a full on relationship. Instead of being excited to be official like I was in past relationships, with her I was hoping for more a fwb situation like it was the first 3 months. But I decided to go along with it. I told her I still wanted to be able to approach or work on social skills with other girls even if just plutonicly. I didn’t do that and did commit. Fast forward another several months and the I love you statement came up. I wasn’t entirely sure about how I felt but I again went along with it, even though I didn’t actually feel it at at the time.
This gf was a very loving, loyal, committed gf, and did anything for me. Unfortunately I didn’t really find her incredibly magnetizing. She was cute, but not crazy attractive in my eye. Like I mentioned above, I didn’t feel that proud feeling when going out.
I found that taking pictures with her also made me unsure. The first couple weeks of hanging out we never took pics. And then I took a picture with her and looked at it and was repulsed. When she would send me pictures of her with with her family, I didn’t like what she sent. Maybe she’s just not photogenic and actually good in person, but whenever she would send me a photo or FaceTime me I’d get turned off.
Also, the fact that she was so wholesome, it didn’t allow for much banter. Conversations were mostly plutonic, where I’m more of the sarcastic type.
She always wanted to pull out the calendar and schedule plans months in advance every week, even after telling her I prefered being spontaneous. She did all of these crazy google calendar overlays and I felt like I was always being sucked into things I didn’t want to do. She became more clingy than I had realized when I first met her. She asked me about 3 months ago, if we could spend not just weekends together, but also Wednesday nights. (We lived just over an hour apart). I suggested it could be every other week (the opposite)…I didn’t like going to her place because of the road noise where she lived and I would really only see her when she would visit me. I know, all of this sounds really one sided and like I’m an asshole. But I was very loving to her in person and she knows that, hence why it lasted so long.
Unfortunately a lot of things she did turned me off. She was too readily available, always trying to lock up my calendar, talk about marriage and kids in the next 3-5 years and I felt trapped. I was unsure.
We had great sex but it wasn’t crazy passionate, neither was our kissing. When alone, and was feeling aroused, I generally didn’t think of my ex. I constantly found myself checking out other girls places I went (but never talked to them). I felt like wow I wish that was the kind of girl I was with.
It wasn’t all bad though. The sex was phenomenal in terms of the movements. She made $100k plus which is phenomenal for someone at 24, but also had over $100k in student loans. With her wanting to get married within 5 years, I considered those loans as a big issue. She was super loving and would have been a great mother.
In the end she left me. She said we weren’t compatible. I have been a wreck and now I’m wishing I had her. Maybe not for the right reasons though?
I’m trying to figure out why if I wanted to end things myself and that I felt trapped for so long, how come all of a sudden I want her back? Is it just the void of not having someone loyal who’s there for me? The loss of a potential good wife and mother? Who can make plans and bake me things? The fear of not meeting someone as smart? She’s already talking to other guys and I’m just a wreck and need some advice. I can’t go an hour without thinking of her. I think I need to rewire the way I am thinking. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I made a mistake and should have put in more effort, but I feel like if I truly loved/had that spark for her I would have tried more all along. I would have been excited to make plans with her instead of going a week at a time seeing her. Now all I want to do is see her. Should I have stayed in it and worked harder? Are my standards too high? I feel like my first ex and my recent one were so polar opposite. One had the looks and I thought of her when thinking of sex but was toxic and the other was sweet but not as attractive. It even got to the point that to feel emotion, I had to finish inside her. Which did help.
At the time of the breakup, I tried very hard to tell her how I was looking forward to making a fun summer filled with plans together. Just 2 weeks prior she was about it. Now nothing. It’s been total silence on the other end for weeks. I know she loved me more than any guy.
Do you think this was a good thing this happened? How do I rewrire my brain? She was my only friend. This was a relationship that I went into going through the motions, and even a couple weeks before we broke up I wrote that journal entry / question that I shared above. What is going on?

As the title said, I pulled out of a girls trip holiday around March of 2023. This was 4 months in advance to the actual trip taking place and this was the first girls trip I was going to go on, so I don't quite know the etiquette of how to pull out of the trip or things like that. At this time we were all 18-19
The reason I pulled out of the trip was as follows: 1. My mum had passed away a year prior and I was still struggling a lot with the loss of my mum and the best friend I had in her. 2. One of the 4 girls (including myself) who would be going was also the girl that cheated with my ex-boyfriend in January of 2023 and attempted to hide it from me and intended fully for me to never find out it happened. The women in my friend group never called her out on this and ignored that it ever happened. I realised that I'd rather have violent and explosive food poisoning than be alone in another country with her. 3. I'm Autistic! Diagnosed with the fancy paper and all. I really struggle in Airports and planes, and especially travelling. I didn't want to be a burden as my friends really didn't know a lot about my Autism to help me in the case I had a meltdown, additionally I'd already travelled abroad that year and I was pretty travelled out.
One girl who was organising the trip, who I'll call Maddie, was very accomodating with me wanting to pull out of the trip and since there was already a ticket purchased, I set up a system to gift the ticket to another friend (I'll call her Emma) who'd never travelled out of the country before. We discussed it and she would pay half of the ticket (as I'd already paid half and wasn't bothered as long as she paid me back, I loved her but Im not paying for someone else to go on holiday.) Me and her had no problems!
All five of us had a meeting to discuss the finances of the holiday and make sure everything was accounted for. I asked Maddie if there would be a fee to change the name of the ticket to be under Emma's name instead of mine. Maddie was pretty vague and assured me it was only going to be around £30-40 which I said I could pay all of as I just about had enough at the time to cover that. Fast forward 2 months I get a text from Maddie saying:
"Sorry, unfortunately it's going to be £115 to change the name of the ticket, you've got my details right?"
This was entirely out of left field. I had £50 in my account at the time and I was panicking, I told her I literally dont have enough to pay that and she starts yelling at me that this was my responsibility. I try and ask if there's a way we can work around this and maybe everyone can pitch in £35 to 40 to cover the cost, including me. Im yelled at again that "it's not their fault I can't save my money". I worked on commission at the time, and I have a feeling that they percieved my parents money as my money which is not the case, I work for what I have and I work hard. The money I'd spent and wasted on the holiday was what I'd saved from working for a lot of months and saving everything. Emma during this time sent me the second to last payment to cover the ticket (around £100), and they told me to just send them the £100 since I have it which I felt uncomfortable doing as that was not what the money was for and I didn't feel that it was my responsibility to pay over £100 that I was not aware of. I felt it was Maddie's responsibility in the first place as the organiser to know what the costs will be including name change fees for our specific airline we were using.
Eventually we managed to come to an arrangement, myself and Emma, she owed me only one more payment that was about equal to the name change and so I told her that if she paid off the name change she will owe me nothing else. Which she did and after that I distanced myself from the group for how they treated me, coldly and with a lot of spite.
There were several nasty phonecalls from them to the point I had to rope my Dad in to help me.
I constantly find myself thinking about this situation and wondering if I was a bit of an AH or not.

You know when you get that warm fuzzy feeling inside when you see a new message from that certain someone? When you hold onto a hug a few seconds longer because neither person wants to let go? When you ugly laugh to the point of being unable to breathe over the silliest things? Being able to talk about your deepest thoughts and biggest aspirations while sitting in your car at 2 in the morning? I miss having that kind of intimacy in my life. I've been going through a personal growth phase for a while, and I feel ready enough to put myself out there and see what life throws my way. Who knows? This could be the start of something new. cue High School Musical song
About Me:
While I’m not looking to immediately jump into a serious commitment with anyone, I generally prefer to date with the intention of establishing something long-term. My schedule can get pretty busy, so I have no interest in wasting my time or yours. With that being said, quality time is my biggest love language, and I will definitely make time for my significant other when I can. One important thing to put out there is that I absolutely do not want kids. Parenthood has never appealed to me, and dogs are just so much better in my opinion. DINK3D (Double Income, No Kids, 3 Dogs) is my ultimate life goal. Hopefully, you’re down to adopt a German shepherd or three with me in the future.
I'm generally pretty reserved in person until you break me out of my shell, but sarcasm and dry humor mixed in with a tiny dash of existentialism are how I communicate 90% of the time. I'm Korean but never really got into the mainstream wave of Korean pop culture, so I don't really know anything about Kpop or Korean media in general (sorry to disappoint). I'm a bit of a homebody, but I'll never turn down an opportunity to go out for new experiences whether that's trying a new restaurant, visiting a museum, or going to an event. I'd consider myself a major foodie and do a lot of cooking myself. A good chunk of my YouTube history is food-related videos, so I can cook you dinner one day and give you a literal chef's kiss. I also write music occasionally (one good thing about being forced to learn piano as a child).
About You:
Ideally, I'm looking for a 20-27 year old self-certified baddie who is local to Orange County or LA. I'm strictly looking for something that can develop in person, so I'm not interested in anything long distance. I don't really think I have a specific type when it comes to dating preferences as long as you know what you want (both emotionally and generally in life), but I will say intelligence and good communication skills are pretty sexy. Good vibes and compatibility are the name of the game. Also, the no kids part is probably important too.
Anyways, if any part of this post resonated with you, send me a chat, and we can see where things go. Let me know what you’d want me to cook for you, or if you’re feeling really spicy, tell me your red flags (both yours personally and red flags in potential partners) lol.

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.

1. The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.
   
2. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.
   
3. Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.
   

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an enpowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…