Completion of community service hours letter

tl;dr
What do I do…
My girlfriend and I have argued for the past 3 days, we solved it last night and everything was fine.
She became sick today and I kept begging her if I could come drop off some medicine for her, she lives with her family and we can’t just see each other like that, she said no it’s fine I begged again she still said no, I asked again and was at home getting the medicine and waiting. 20 minutes past by and she texted “lol 20 minutes, if you wanted to you could’ve.” I called her telling her that I was waiting for her response and I’m sorry, she non stop kept talking shit, i said “babe I can’t drive all the way to you (20 mins) and you not even be able to come out. Plus you’d be so mad at me if I did because of the family. To which she replied: “lol, my ex drove an hour to not knowing if I’ll go out or not.” Mind, her ex was 18 she was 14… I could’ve went off saying everything good I do for her, but nothings enough. She even said maybe you’re just not enough.
I do everything for this girl, I work full time as a full time student just to save up to marry her. I put my all into her, after the past few days, her saying “my ex did this” over me, crossed the line. And broke my heart completely.
Am I the wrong person?

Frog had not been eating for a month. I would put food in front of frog's face every day, but frog will turn its head away from the food. Water bowl (7 gallons) would be change every 2 days or if there was feces, I would change water right away. I dechlorinated the water every water change.
The frog diet mainly consist of giant meal worms (from ebay) and dubia roaches (buy locally). Maybe I should have vary its diet more and calcium dust more. Temperature and humidity was fine as I have a controlled water heater and heat lamp. I would hand mist the frog in the morning if it was on land.
Last Night I decided to soak the frog in its bowl and in the morning, the frog was completely stiff and unresponsive. I tried poking it and holding it. Over the hour the back and legs has black/purple spots. I won't post pictures just because it's something I don't want to remember.
Only thing I think I could have improved on is change the coconut substrate more often and vary its diet. Just posting this incase future and current owners find this info helpful.

Hello,
First of all thanks in advance for any help or advice on this topic. I'm honestly stumped and wanted the community's help and advice on my situation. I'm 24(M) half white, half asian and have some Vietnamese friends. I've always been fascinated and eager to learn more about Vietnamese culture and the language. Fast forward to the end of 2022 - I live in the states and met this amazing Vietnamese woman (27F) at a family business. For reference, her and her family are full Vietnamese and are citizens that have been living here for a few years now.
I met her about a year and a half ago and we've been friends since day one. Over this course of time, we've talked consistently. What started from meeting her at her family business, grew to her adding me on social media and talking through DM's, to getting her phone number. Although we talk almost all the time, we both haven't "hung out" outside of the family business. We've talked about hanging out and we always try but either side always has something that pops up. Between her and I we're both extremely busy, I own my own business, she works for her family, and is a full time university student.
We talk almost every day and I've learned a lot about her, her family, and Vietnamese culture. I've actually met the majority of her family that live here in the states and they seem to really like me. Her and her parents teach me Vietnamese on the side. The family has even talked to me about certain things or congratulated me on accomplishments which means she's mentioned stuff about me to them regularly.
I'm not a stranger to relationships but this particular girl has me so confused and I feel so many mixed signals. She hasn't been in a relationship since high school and is extremely independent. About 70% of the time she texts me/reaches out first, 30% of the time I'm texting or reaching out to her first. Her consistency with texts are so strange because she will rapid fire text me and then randomly continue then conversation almost 24 hours later. To elaborate, sometimes she responds instantly for the entire day/night and sometimes she'll text me a few times within the hour then randomly continue conversation the next day. I know the saying goes like if someone's interested in you, they'll make time for you no matter how busy. I've never encountered this with the women I've dated in the past.
She is super friendly, caring, and very open to talking to me about family issues, stress, future plans etc. Her and I talk a lot about our goals and succeeding in life. She also has stated that she wants to travel with me and her family someday. It's crazy to be so close, keep in constant contact, and know someone so well but never hung out outside of family business.
Aside from the texting thing and hanging out issue, her other mixed signal (which may be just a slight culture difference) is that she refers to me sometimes as "em trai, bro, brother, dude, man, girl." I know that em trai translates to little brother in Vietnamese and I refer to her as Chi (older sister) sometimes too because I was taught that but I'm not sure how to feel about bro or brother lol.
I'm afraid to break the great friendship that we currently have by asking her out but I feel like it's the only way to get a proper answeresponse. I understand she's independent, as am I. I also understand she has priorities, that she needs space, and is very busy with work and focusing on school. I admire her drive and motivation/determination to win in life and her want to be successful.
Questions:
Am I too young for her, is the age gap (24M) vs (27F) uncommon especially in Vietnamese culture?
Does the random inconsistencies with text response times mean she's not interested?
Am I overthinking the brothebro thing?
Is it possible there a cultural gap that I'm overlooking and she's just being friendly?
What else can I do to figure things out?
Thanks so much for your help!

Hi everyone,
I have a B.S in biology and I’m considering further study and a career in GIS. I am unsure what qualification will be best and enable me to get a job. I am considering either a graduate diploma or a grad certificate but also can see Certificate lV in spatial information services at TAFE which would be much cheaper.
I am also curious about entry level job prospects in Australia. I am wondering whether completing a traineeship and cert lV would actually be more beneficial in terms of getting practical experience and further employment. I would greatly appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I don't want unsolicited advice or anyone telling me what to do. I want to know if you relate or have been what I've been through.
I'm in 12 step recovery. Specifically AA. And I've been sober for almost 11 years. About a year and a half ago I found myself in what I didn't know at the time was a very emotionally abusive friendship with another alcoholic who had significantly less time than me. Pretend I'm not a bad guy and take my word for it. I felt gaslighted. When I confronted him about things he was doing that were bothering me, he ghosted me deliberately and blocked my number without warning me. I went crazy after the fact that that happened. And then after that we talked about a month later and he basically said he refuses to believe any narrative where I was victimized by him. And he proceeded to tell me I'm crazy and implied I was delusional because I had a different take on things he was doing that I accused him of. And I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. This dude and I were inseparable best buds in a bromance together and then one day he just decided to be extremely cold, and rather than just admit that he was wrong and sorry he hurt me, he really doubled down on the fact that he had "every right" to ghost me. And it got really out of hand. Bc I went missing and left AA bc I was so heartbroken and upset that someone I was so close to could so thoroughly violate my trust. And so everyone's looking for me and showing up at my house and I'm not there. They all think I either relapsed or killed myself. I didn't. And at one point, unbeknownst to me, a mutual friend of ours gets him to call me. He called and didn't leave a voicemail. I eventually start texting everyone letting them know I'm alright. And I call him and he doesn't answer or text me back for 48 hours so I was pissed bc I thought he was playing games. And so I blow up on him and lose control of my anger and I'm like I know where you live, where you go to meetings, play games with me fucker I dare you to. And the last text I ever got from him was extremely callous, basically trying to make me feel like a bad person for blowing off all my friends for a month, and he basically said he called me to tell me that and then he said bc I threatened him, he'd call the police if I ever contacted him again. And I'm just in absolute shock that the dude I was once sleeping at his house, hanging out with him nonstop, someone I took care of when he was sick. Someone I gave rides to meetings. He was like for a minute there my ride or die. And now he's being so fucking cold as to call the police on me. And ok... Normally I would be like valid, I threatened him. But I've called the cops on his neighbors once before back when we were friends bc they were assaulting one another and he called me a "snitch" and flipped out on me for getting the cops involved bc he was still on probation. So he's a goddamn hypocrite.
And ever since this bullshit happened, I think about it almost at any point where I have idle time in my day. I think about it CONSTANTLY. I want JUSTICE. I want to feel like this douchebag got a dose of karma for acting like the biggest asshole on the planet to me. I want him to lose custody of his child. I want him to relapse and go back to prison. I want him to suffer. And I know for a fact I'm not crazy the way he said I was because so many other ppl including his own mutual friends have heard my side of the story and have had my back saying I didn't deserve that. And not to mention, I've met several men since him that I've had very healthy relationships with and they treat me with respect. Like I have one best friend I can talk to on the phone for 6 hours. We're going to Europe together later this year. I'm going out to Vegas to see him. He's seen me at my very worst when all of this was going on. He tells me he loves me constantly. So I know based on the actions of other people that this guy was a total dirtbag to me.
And like I said, I'm angry, and I'm traumatized and I remember every finite detail as if it happened yesterday. And at times, I find my wheels are just spinning thinking crazy shit like oh I'm gonna go find that fucker and bash his windows in on his car. And I'm constantly thinking about how if there is a God, why haven't I found something out about him like oh he lost his job. Oh he quit school. Oh he did this or did that. But radio silence. And if anything he's outwardly doing "really well" according to some of my friends. And I'm over here just ready to do everything short of killing him. And all day long I think of either the day he reaches out to make amends to me, or the day we bump into each other somewhere and what I'm going to say, and it ranges from emotional to pissed off to violent to this to that. And I'm losing my mind. And I am fully aware of resentment being like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. NONE OF THOSE BULLSHIT SAYINGS HELP!!! I get temporary relief when I'm either hanging out with friends or I get relief when I'm doing something to help someone else out. But I just want serenity. And no. I don't want to forgive him. I don't want to in any way let him back into my life. I'm not interested in making amends for anything at all if there even was anything bc I'm not about to sit there and get manipulated again even if I'm being the better person by admitting where I was wrong.
And I haven't been to an Al Anon meeting in over a year. And I'm scared to go back. I automatically feel like I'm a porcupine ready to shoot my quills out at anyone who personally attacks me, bc the worst part about abusive people is they make us have to constantly defend ourselves and our actions when they don't have to do shit! And lately I've been very seriously thinking once my service position at this one meeting I chair at is up, I'm fucking dipping out of AA for good. I don't need these manipulative people anymore. I've gone through enough hell. I constantly see examples of shady fuckers like him "working the steps" and "calling their sponsosponsee" and all this horse shit, when like that best friend of mine who I'm going to Europe with, he hasn't been to a meeting in over a year and somehow he's the most understanding compassionate person I know but he's "dry" and all of them are "working a spiritual program of action"... Then where the f** is my amends?? And yes, I don't care if that makes me sound entitled. You're lying if you've never felt that way about someone else in your life... I'm just done. Lately I just am so exhausted that I just wanna work and never talk to anyone ever again except for like maybe 3 people. Everyone else can go suck it. Especially him.

What do I do…
My girlfriend and I have argued for the past 3 days, we solved it last night and everything was fine.
She became sick today and I kept begging her if I could come drop off some medicine for her, she lives with her family and we can’t just see each other like that, she said no it’s fine I begged again she still said no, I asked again and was at home getting the medicine and waiting. 20 minutes past by and she texted “lol 20 minutes, if you wanted to you could’ve.” I called her telling her that I was waiting for her response and I’m sorry, she non stop kept talking shit, i said “babe I can’t drive all the way to you (20 mins) and you not even be able to come out. Plus you’d be so mad at me if I did because of the family. To which she replied: “lol, my ex drove an hour to not knowing if I’ll go out or not.” Mind, her ex was 18 she was 14… I could’ve went off saying everything good I do for her, but nothings enough. She even said maybe you’re just not enough.
I do everything for this girl, I work full time as a full time student just to save up to marry her. I put my all into her, after the past few days, her saying “my ex did this” over me, crossed the line. And broke my heart completely.
I’m lost

Back in 2012, I started the process of leaving my abusive ex husband. While his abuse was mostly verbal and emotional, during the divorce, he got physical.
I had filed for default in the divorce and this set him off. He called the bank and had my bank account frozen and then came to my house to take things. I went in the garage to try and stop him and he hit me in the face. I called the cops and he was arrested. I went down to the court house the next day and got a restraining order.
During this time, child support opened a case. This enraged him even more and he made contact via a third party, claiming I was psychotic. I documented the restraining order violation with a police report and went about my life.
A few weeks later, I was out with the kids on the 4th of July, when I got a call from the Sheriff’s Dept. My ex had called them and claimed I was suicidal. They looked and saw I had a restraining order against him so they were calling to check on me. I told them I was fine and I was out watching fireworks with my kids. They said to have a good night. I thought that was the end of it.
About a month later, I had taken an Ambien, but instead of laying down, I did the dishes. Then I couldn’t remember if I had taken my pill or not, so I took it again, not realizing I had already taken it. I was looking over old messages in my email and found an email from my ex. I felt bad about how things were between us. I texted him, “I’m not gonna bother you anymore. Let’s just try to be amicable from now on.” . I put my phone down and fell asleep.
A short while later, I saw flashlights in my bedroom window. I got up to find the Sheriff’s Dept at my door. I opened the door and they told me that my ex had called them and said I was suicidal. I told them I had a restraining order against him. They asked to come inside and I let them in. A fatal mistake.
I explained that things were very stressful between us and that I had texted him I wasn’t going to bother him anymore and requested that we try to be amicable. I showed them my phone. I told them that I had taken an Ambien and went to bed. They asked to see my pill bottle. I gave it to them. They counted the pills and that’s when it was discovered that I took 2 pills instead of 1. The Sheriff wanted to take me to the hospital to get checked out. I cooperated with them.
They called my ex to come and get the kids, but his phone was off. I had to give them his room mates number. I told the Sheriff, “If he really thought I was suicidal, why would he turn his phone off after calling you out here? He is just harassing me.” They got ahold of him, he came and got the kids and they drove me to the hospital.
The hospital counselor comes and talks to me. I explain that I have a restraining order against the person claiming that I’m suicidal. I took the extra Ambien by mistake. It was an accident. I’m not suicidal. I’m under the care of a therapist as my divorce is very stressful. She refuses to call my therapist and instead places me on a 5150 psych hold. Now I am terrified. I’m being locked away at the request of someone I have a restraining order against.
They put me in an ambulance and ship me two hours away to the looney bin. Because it is Saturday, I didn’t see the psychiatrist until Monday. I spent that two days in utter shock. My abuser made me disappear and he used the Sheriffs to help him do it.
Monday comes. I see the psychiatrist. I explain that I have a restraining order against the person claiming I’m suicidal. The Ambien thing was an accident. My therapist can verify everything. He tells me if my therapist backs my story, he will end the hold and send me home. He calls my therapist. My therapist demands that they release me immediately. Psych tells me he will work on getting me out of here.
I used the phone at the nurses station to check my voicemail. I have a vm from my ex’s attorney saying that my ex filed for sole custody of the kids and the hearing was tomorrow. That’s when it hit me. He had me locked away on a 5150 to get the kids in his possession to file for custody to get out of paying child support. I played the message for the nurse. They got my discharge done and got me out of there within an hour.
I showed up to court the next day. His attorney approached me and asked if I would be willing to sign custody over to my ex. I stared at him until he backed away from me. When they called our case, it turned out the filing fees weren’t paid so the court refused to hear the case. We were rescheduled to the next day.
I left the court house, got a letter from my therapist and copies of all police reports. I came back the next morning and provided everything to the judge. The judge refused to give my ex custody and referred us to mediation. He instructed my ex to return the kids to me immediately. My babies were home that night.
After this incident, I was afraid to pursue the restraining order. If he was able to weaponize the Sheriff’s Dept against me in my own home with a restraining order in place, I would never be safe in this town. I had to find a new plan. I had to find a way to leave town.
6 months later, after giving away everything I owned and moving out of my place, I showed up to the court house on a crisp spring morning where I was granted permission to leave the state of California with my babies. We walked out of the court house, got in the car and drove away. We reached Las Vegas by midnight. That wasn’t our final destination, just the first part of our journey. And that is the story of how I escaped my abuser.

...or: How I'm slowly losing my mind.
So I chose Zath as my main Religion on a new character.
I didn't play for a very long time, so my knowledge about the game is antiquated and I had to relearn a lot of things. This includes spawn locations.
After re-exploring the Exiled Lands completely and revisiting various locations over and over again, I gave up on finding Zath priests on own all together.
I looked it up and lo and behold, there are allegedly only two possible spawns for named Zath priests in the Exiled Lands. Namely "Mitra's Serenity" and "Sinner's Refuge".
Now I need to ask: Are these two spawn locations really the only ones, or can they spawn there at all? Is this info (the only ones I can find about this topic) outdated?
I'm speaking of 12 hours of non stop (minor coffee refilling pause at around 8 hours) back an forth between these two locations. Not.A.Single.Zath.Priest.
Please help me out, I'm begging you.
tl/dr: in Exiled Lands, where can T4 Zath priests spawn?

It's been nearly a year since I remember actually sleeping a solid 6 hours. Years since I've had a nap. I haven't slept at ALL most of this entire year. I'm fucked. My symptoms are hell without this issue, but only Xanax helped my sleep before and I can't get that now. I have a TBI from an injury nearly 8 years ago and ever since meds don't have an effect. I just want to die, and with this extreme issue I know it will be mandatory for me to be intensely aware of whatever method. I can't do ANYTHING during the day. I resent people with normal lives. Hell, I don't know anyone that just doesn't sleep. I also got a felony from my last manic episode "assault" against a peace officer. So that is an entire extra dimension of stress while I contend with a PO. I seriously think death is better than my life. I can't even properly describe what reality feels like to me at this point. It's pure torture. My circumstances are nearly as bad. When I try to sleep my head just throws random and very uncomfortable thoughts around and I remain in a state of panic... Every night. All night. Uttering "FUCK!" Each day is a return to hell. I can't even escape into unconsciousness. My hands are locking up, I rarely use the restroom, I don't exert any energy really. I can't enjoy anything at all. Every symptom could be an entire disability on its own. It's been so long since I got restorative sleep. I read dementia is likely at this point. Death takes far longer than I would have thought. It's agonizing the entire way. I hoped apayhy would expedite the process, but nothing helps. THANKS MOM FOR REPRODUCING WITH THIS. She also died last year. I can't imagine a worse fate, and yet each day proves me wrong. All the while imagining prison AND these symptoms? Oh my fucking God. Why? Because how the hell can I do 40 hours community service like this?! I absolutely need to die. And quickly. Im jealous that my fucking dog sleeps.

Hello. This is just a little vent post regarding my frustration with my job and how it's been preventing me from writing anything. If you can relate to this situation, I'd be happy.
I quit my job at the beginning of January this year for a break, and during two months of unemployment, I kept writing and writing like there was no tomorrow, leading to two long fics being completed. Yet, I then applied for a new job and another side job, which occasionally had urgent projects and overtime that stole every little free time I had.
After the work was done, all I could do was sleep. The outline for my upcoming 13-chaptered fic stayed incomplete even after 2 months (I started it in March, now it's May and I still haven't finished the outline). I try my best to write something during lunch break or the few hours I have between going home from work and sleeping, but... the well of creativity seems to be dry for now.
Work is necessary for me to live, and I certainly can't prioritize writing fanfic over it because I'm currently my family's breadwinner. But... I just wish that it's not so creativity-draining sometimes.
Thank you for reading all the way here. I wish you a great day!

My girlfriend and I have argued for the past 3 days, we solved it last night and everything was fine.
She became sick today and I kept begging her if I could come drop off some medicine for her, she lives with her family and we can’t just see each other like that, she said no it’s fine I begged again she still said no, I asked again and was at home getting the medicine and waiting. 20 minutes past by and she texted “lol 20 minutes, if you wanted to you could’ve.” I called her telling her that I was waiting for her response and I’m sorry, she non stop kept talking shit, i said “babe I can’t drive all the way to you (20 mins) and you not even be able to come out. Plus you’d be so mad at me if I did because of the family. To which she replied: “lol, my ex drove an hour to not knowing if I’ll go out or not.” Mind, her ex was 18 she was 14… I could’ve went off saying everything good I do for her, but nothings enough. She even said maybe you’re just not enough.
I do everything for this girl, I work full time as a full time student just to save up to marry her. I put my all into her, after the past few days, her saying “my ex did this” over me, crossed the line. And broke my heart completely.
Am I the wrong person?

More misery bird? More misery bird. Really miserymaxxing with these fics I have going, but hey, this one is not that miserable actually! Krekos is back and ready to be dense and downcast, but maybe not quite miserable? Read and see!
Big thank you to NoP community for being great and supportive of my endeavors!
Also, obviously, big thanks to SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe and allowing fanfiction well to flow free!
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Memory transcription subject: Krekos, Krakotl Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: May 6th, 2137
I stare at the foul creature before me. Normally staring at something directly head on like that would be too predatory for me to do, but after nearly dying of bread yesterday, I didn’t feel patient enough to be gentle. The creature stared right back, though in a much more natural, prey-like way, tilting its head slightly as it looked back at me with one eye and let out a long bwok.
“Are you doing this now? Really?”, I ask, knowing full well it cannot respond.
Well, it can, if another bwok it made is any indication. Of course, translators aren’t yet advanced enough to translate non-sapient speech, but the intention behind sound is intuitively clear. It’s telling me to back off. Well, I tried the diplomatic approach at least.
Raising my wing I begin sliding the bird out of its nest, careful to keep any delicate joints out of its reach. It started clucking in upset indignation, struggling back and even trying to peck at me, but after realizing that I will not relent, it hopped out of the box and rushed out of the cattle house, revealing a single dead egg in the nesting box.
With relief, I finally pick up the last egg and head back to leave them at the house. Turns out that while Reginald didn’t forget to both lock them up yesterday and let them out today, he did neglect feeding them both times, as well as collecting the harvest. So when I was driven back here in early morning, the first thing I did was making sure they were taken care of. I can’t say the horrid birds looked in any way hungry, but the moment I poured the feeding grain for them, they attacked it with more viciousness than I’d expect of an actual predator. And yet only thirteen were present at the feeding, as the one that’s usually the target of flock’s ire remained in the cattle house yet again, Reginald leaving it to it, being unaware of its undesirable habit of trying to hatch dead eggs.
With eggs delivered, I flew my way to my usual spot atop the cattle house and could finally relax. The loner beast first made its way to feast on the scraps of the grain that other birds already all have had their fill of, so I wasn’t too concerned. Instead I tried to reflect on the morning I had so far.
Waking up at the hospital did make me momentarily panic before I remembered the precluding events. Not that I could properly panic, feeling the most starved I’ve been my whole life, and too weak to try flying out of the window. Thankfully, the breakfast they provided was actually well made with krakotl needs in mind, algae soup alongside a few slices of bread, this time without any horrid human ideas like putting eggs in there. Eggs! Turns out they put eggs in some kinds of bread! That’s how I got sick! Eggs! The thought of what I consumed even now made me queasy, and it definitely made breakfast a much less appetizing affair than it would have been without that knowledge, but back then the hunger won over the disgust.
Lena did keep her promise and came to pick me up extra early. Her being a staff member at the hospital gave her some extra privilege, I assume, hence why I was released without any forms needing to be filled out personally. She did have important business today too, which probably explained the earlyness and urgency of her driving me back to her house.
That did not mean I escaped her ire, however. While I couldn’t pinpoint anything to identify the man, as Bob was apparently a common name, that offered me bread, we did come to understanding that he was likely either unaware of the nutritional contents of it, or of extent to which the Cure-induced allergy would be affecting a krakotl. Yet, Lena seemed much angrier at me for failing to take any precautions. Turns out that was the purpose of medicinal injectors, epipens as humans call them, that were provided to me. I was supposed to have them on me in case I accidentally ingested contaminated food. Nobody told me that, I was just handed them back when I first received the necessities at the refugee camp and I had no clue what they were for. Then she also berated me for eating random food from strangers and ignoring bad flavors. Turns out that brioche bread isn’t actually bitter at all, and that was my body reacting to an allergen in it. Reaction that I unwisely elected to ignore, to further ire of my host. By the end, several new rules of my stay here were made, including not eating things I don’t know and always having at least one epipen on me. Thankfully, these rules would be ones I’d start following even without them being established, so I won’t have to concern myself with being kicked out over accidentally breaking them.
As if following the rules will be enough to make them like you.
Trying to distract myself from thoughts of yesterday’s incident, I focused my attention on the flock. All birds accounted for, so at least I knew that my absence did not result in the predator coming to snatch one of them. I do not wish to insult my hosts, but Reginald is far from most attentive people in matters unrelated to his job, and I am not sure the birds were watched at all while I was out. Speaking of, my scannings of surrounding treelines revealed no sign of the predator today. Perhaps it departed to hunt elsewhere, or maybe it ventured too close to a more populated area and exterminators dealt with it.
Actually, did human exterminators work similar to Federation ones? I knew for a fact they had them, although they seemed like a market of private organizations if advertisements are anything to judge by. Still, what methods do they use? I know humans oppose fire, and do not believe in predatory taint, but surely they have measures to protect themselves? They are, by self-admission, far from the best natural predator, and I doubt Earth’s non-sapient predators would just leave humans be. Maybe I should call one of those human exterminator agencies and call them in to deal with that predator? I haven’t told Lena or Reginald about it, as I didn’t want to bother them, but it could pose a serious threat to the cattle, but maybe that’s the way I could resolve it without involving them?
I have not done nearly as much research into human culture and lifestyle as I should have, considering that I’ve lived on Earth for over half a year now, but the sheer width of the topic always overwhelmed me the moment I opened internet search app to the point where I just closed it right away.
And you expect to start studying again with that attitude? You’ll flunk out even from this primitive predator education course.
Extra loud call from the flock made me refocus my attention on them, but it was nothing. Just the loner getting pecked extra hard and lashing out against assailants, causing a small aimless stampede as all the birds ran around in circles, puffing up at one another. The assailants now looked a lot more like victims. I could understand those birds more than I could humans at least. The loner bird is clearly an odd one out. It’s the only one repeatedly trying to hatch unfertilized eggs it lays, and it seems to always avoid the rest of the flock. Humans may deny the existence of Predator Disease, but they can’t deny that prey and predator both can and will sometimes behave in unnatural ways that may threaten the herd's safety. Or pack’s, in case of humans. Birds must know on instinctual level that the loner’s behavior is unnatural and are attempting to combat the Predator Disease on instinctual level. And since that is natural, I still will not interfere in this, unless the loner bird actually becomes a threat to others or will start getting too injured. The first time I attempted to pick one of the birds up was the only time for a good reason, as I have learned their viciousness all too well.
DING-DING
The sudden loud ring startled me enough that I nearly tumbled off the roof. Who would be coming over now? Lena and Reginald have left together and shouldn’t be back until afternoon, and they’d never use the bell. That means someone must be here for them. But wouldn’t they warn anyone to not come over? Especially with their plans for today.
With nobody to answer these questions, I had no choice but to go and discover the answer myself, flying up and over the house, towards the entrance gate. The moment I passed the house roof, I already saw a familiar silhouette. It was the human child from a few days ago.
Thankfully, Lena’s insistence on me carrying an epipen at all times meant I also carried my satchel at all times too, so I didn’t have to go grabbing my holopad, and took it out. But before I could even launch the translator TTS app to type out a greeting, the child was already hopping in place with excitement.
“Mr. Krekos! Hi! I came over to visit!”, she exclaimed, showing off her teeth in an unnerving expression of human joy. I simply tried to avoid that and focused on the pad, typing out my response.
“Hello, Rosie. Why are you here?”
The question was genuine, as the child was not carrying any more of that honey substance from last time.
“I just came over to visit you! Is that okay? Are Mr. and Ms. Vince okay with it?”
Visit... me? Why? While I was confused, I did instinctively type out a reply.
“They did tell me visitors are allowed as long as there’s no trouble when I first moved in.”
And before I could type a followup message asking her why she’s here, she already let out a joyous roar and ran past me.
“Can I see the chickens?”, she asked, and not waiting for an answer, rushed past the house and towards the cattle yard.
“Wait! You’ll scare them!”, I yell after her, but of course without a translator she can’t understand me as she runs like she already knows where to go.
And indeed she has, quickly rushing up to the open field where the birds were grazing. Thankfully she didn’t start chasing them, instead just approaching the flock from a distance and swaying in place, watching them with what I assume was some sort of predatory excitement at the sight of prey. Maybe that’s where the contained hunting instinct of human children showed themselves? In chasing small birds? I was still more subdued, considering she stopped shy of causing a small stampede, but still.
“Grandpa used to take me with him! He helped watch this farm until Mr. and Ms. Vince moved in. I like chickens! I think they’re cute.”, the child told me innocently as she kept swaying and watching as the beasts grazed upon insects of the pasture.
That revelation was... interesting. I suppose it makes sense that between the original owner of this land dying in the bombings and Lena and Reginald moving in, it would be unattended. With nobody to feed and watch over those things, they would be long dead for sure. And it was Rosie’s grandfather... Speaking of. I typed out my words.
“Does your grandfather know you’re here?”
She seemed to get a weird look as she stopped her excited swaying, fiddling with her hands instead. Looks like I asked the correct question.
“...he knows I am out visiting neighbors.”
That did not answer my question. I squinted at the human child, and she dipped her head as she continued.
“...he doesn’t know I’m here specifically. Or that an alien even lives here...”, she explained, her tone suddenly more sullen.
I couldn’t help but squint at that, and it appears that my expression was readable enough that even a human could see the suspicion, as she continued.
“I’m sorry... But if I told grandpa, he’d tell me I’m forbidden from talking to you, like he forbade me from talking to hedgehog people in town... But I want to talk to you! You’re nice and you’re a space bird!”
The child was actually working around the rules established by her guardian to come see me. I don’t know if I should be glad or concerned. Clearly, the man is anti-alien in his opinions, and I’d rather that kind of man not know about how close he lives to one. At the same time, I’d rather not encourage a child for lying to their guardian in order to meet a stranger they know they aren’t allowed to interact with... So I just took the middle path with my next message.
“I see. What did you want to talk to me about then?”, TTS speaks for me.
Her stiffened body language disappears, replaced again with earlier excitement.
“I wanna know more about space! And aliens! It’s all so cool but grandpa says it’s all dangerous because mom and dad died. But it’s not! The hedgehog people were nice, and you’re nice too!”
I wasn’t sure about that logic, but my self-preservation told me I shouldn’t try convincing her to go confessing. Instead I focused more on her chosen topic.
“I am not sure I am the best person to ask about space. I am not a scientist or traveler.”
“But you’re from there! You know way more than me. I don’t even know what you are called. And there’s gotta be cool things out in space!”
I let out a sigh. I suppose it’s childlike curiosity at its finest. So unfamiliar with mundane that it is a wonder. I remember being like that about becoming a doctor.
And then you let your teacher die.
I quickly tapped on the pad.
“Okay, I can answer questions, but I may not know everything.”
The noise that came out of the girl was like a squeal of a panicked dossur as she started hopping and spinning in place.
“Yes! Yes! Thank you, Mr. Krekos!” Sudden movement did cause me to recoil a bit, which in turn caused her to cease her happy flailing and adjust her little dress. “I dunno where to start though... Hm... What are you?”
...for all my trepidation about not knowing answers, I should have anticipated that the questions she asks will be rather age-appropriate and on the same level as we learn in our first school classes. At least I won’t disappoint her then.
“I am from a species called ‘krakotl’. We’re avians, as is obvious. Our home is...” dead, gone, reduced to glass and ash by our own hubris “...was Nishtal. A beautiful planet...”
Thankfully she did not question my hesitant pause. Instead she just nodded along.
“What about the hedgehog people? I already know venlil, but they’re the only ones I know name of.”
Hedgehog people in town she mentioned earlier. The only species I could think of that could be seen there would be the gojid. I have no clue what hedgehogs are, but probably some creature with visible similarity to them.
“They are called ‘gojid’, and they’re from gojid Cradle. Both of our species are... well, used to be known for our might and protecting other species of Federation.”
I am not sure if that’s something to brag about, considering... everything. But I didn’t want this child to get brought down with depressing regrets of our species. Let her know something nicer instead. She clearly lost a lot, but there’s still joy left in her. I wouldn’t want to be the one to ruin that.
“Cool! What about other people? I wanna know more!”
And so I went on, telling her about various species, although I mostly focused on ones in this new human-led union, only mentioning kolshians and farsul beyond that. It’s weird explaining to a child what a tilfish or a harchen looks like, but thankfully my holopad isn’t just a method of communicating with implant-less children. With access to interstellar web, I could easily pull up pictures of various alien species to show to her, even if she struggled to believe that some of them were even sapient purely based off of looks. With how varied species in Federation are, and how some of us admittedly aren’t too far physiologically from our more primal ancestors.
Among other topics, she asked me to tell her interesting things, which I didn’t know much of. I told her about Venlil Prime’s tidally locked status, a rarity among habitable planets, much less homeworlds for species. I told her about the unique architecture of Mileau, designed to accommodate both species of regular size and dossur themselves. I told her about Colia medical academies, some of the most beautiful medical facilities in the galaxy.
I wish I was more well-travelled, but I just wasn’t. My whole life, I never left Nishtal until the extermination fleet took me despite my protests. That may have been what saved my life...
Not that I, of all people, deserved it...
“Hey! Stop that!”
I flinched as I heard the child yell, but quickly realized that it wasn’t directed at me. Instead, Rosie was rushing down towards the chicken flock, breaking up the fight in which the loner was being pecked by a few larger chickens. As the human child approached, the birds stopped their infighting and scattered in different directions, crowing in loud panic and discontent. On instinct, I found myself rushing towards the child, forgetting about translation entirely.
“What are you doing?! Don’t touch them!”
I didn’t want her to hurt the cattle accidentally, and I didn’t want her to get hurt by the angry birds in return. But, it seems like the moment the birds scattered, she was satisfied with her actions and turned back to me, wearing another one of her happy smiles.
“Sorry, Mr. Krekos, I just saw chickens being mean. Bad chickens.” She explained.
I was baffled. Why would she interfere like that? When I tried that back when I was just starting, that got me pecked! But with her, the birds just scattered. What if they pecked her?
I took the pad out again and started typing quickly.
“That was dangerous. Why did you do that? What if they attacked you? Why are you even interfering in their natural dynamics?”, questions flowed out of my pad with an artificial human voice.
The girl simply giggled.
“They’re chickens! They aren’t dangerous. They don’t peck that painful and I’ve been scratched worse before. And I have to stop it because bullying is wrong.”
Then she actually noticed that the one that was being attacked wandered close. She casually approached it from behind, the blind spot and just reached down and grabbed it, picking the bird up. I was ready to rush to help the bird when...
“Mwah! There, all better.”
She did a human ‘kiss’ on the back of the cattle bird’s neck before releasing it, the surprise of it causing it to rush off. I knew what kisses were, I’ve seen enough of them between Lena and Reginald, but I believed they were gestures of intimate affection, not... what was even that?
It seems Rosie noticed my confusion as she explained.
“You gotta kiss it so it heals better! That’s what mom taught me.” The child displayed that smile of hers shamelessly. With how much I was being exposed to it, it almost wasn’t unnerving anymore. Still, it was interesting to learn that kisses are seen as something that helps wounds. I guess some species do have saliva with mild antiseptic properties, wouldn’t be too out there to assume humans are the same. And if that’s the case, maybe that’s how the kissing tradition started? Exchange of protective fluid between lovers?
“I see. I did not know that.” I responded before letting my puffed feathers relax. Okay, this whole ‘watching a human child’ thing is turning out to somehow be even more stressful than I expected at first.
“Wait, Mr. Krekos, what time is it?” She suddenly asked, looking up at the sky.
“It’s nearly twelve.” I respond, holopad having a convenient clock for local time.
“Oh no! I need to be home soon! Was nice seeing you Mr. Krekos gotta go bye!”
Before I had even a chance at typing out an answer or my own goodbye, the child sprinted away and back towards the entrance. I had to take flight just to keep up, and even then she just turned around, waved her arm at me and then kept sprinting down the road after leaving the gate. I simply offered a small wave of a wing back before locking the gate again. I suppose it is hard to keep track of time without a device or clock nearby...
Well, at least I had the usual peace and quiet now. And learned a bit more about the creatures I was in charge of. I should really try to deal with my aversion to looking things up on the human internet...
Just as I was about to head back out towards the yard, I heard a loud car horn, a familiar one, getting my attention. Lena’s car. There they were, signaling me, probably having spotted me at the gate from afar. Deciding to make use of my presence here, and hoping to avoid needing to explain that I had a surprise visitor earlier, I went ahead and opened the large gate, allowing the car to enter.
Once it was parked in the usual space, the doors opened and three people came out. Lena and Reginald were both looking a bit disheveled, but their faces carried these smiles that seemed wider than ever before. And third person... Was a stranger. A human I knew of, but never actually met. As he exited the car, a large bag in one hand, he just stared at me, standing in the front yard...
“...okay, I expected many things when I was told you guys housed a refugee, but not this.”
Oh no. Oh no, he was not one of the ones that was willing to overlook an invader that partook in bombing of his planet being allowed to walk free, of course, Lena and Reginald were the weird ones like that, doesn’t mean their son won’t be... I felt the panic rising as I realized I’d need to return to the camp. Why was I upset about that? This was supposed to just have been a way to make money, but now I have a free education program. Do I need to stay? No, but... Why?! Why do I not want to leave?
“Ken, you said it’s going to be alright no matter what it is, right? Wanted us to keep it a surprise to meet a new friend?” Lena’s voice. She should have told him, that’d give me time to prepare why didn’t they give me time why.
“No, no problems, just, really surprised, that’s all... uh... hey, buddy, you okay? You’re really... trembly.”
He was approaching me, and instinct took over as I recoiled, before stuttering out my answer.
“I-I’m fine...”
...thankfully translators don’t translate voice cracks. I hope, at least...
“Hey, relax... I have no problem with you being a krakotl, I just didn’t think...” He looks over at Lena and Reginald. “Calm down... I can wear my visor if you want?”
Right. Those things humans use to hide their scary faces from us.
“I... I’m good...”
Why would it last? It almost felt good after all.
There was some emotion I struggled to read on the young human’s face, as he sighed and shook his head.
“I screwed this up, I’m sorry. Let... Let me try again.” He straightened out, and adjusted his clothing, before slowly approaching me and giving me a small smile, no teeth showing. “Hello. My name is Kenneth Vince and I'm son of Lena and Reginald Vince. I was told you’re a refugee they took in to help out. It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?”
That... snapped me out of it. Right... He was... not upset at my existence. He was just very surprised that Lena and Reginald weren’t. That’s a reasonable thing to be surprised about, considering I was surprised about it to this day. I tried to compose myself as I responded.
“My name is Krekos. I live here as... hired help with the cattle. It’s... nice to meet you?”
The smile on Kenneth’s face widens, though he still refrains from showing his teeth. Instead, he extends a hand towards me. A handshake is a human gesture that I found far from comfortable, but I didn’t want to give him a reason to change his mind on acceptability of my existence, so I took it with a wingclaw. He gently took it and held for a few seconds before letting go and sighing again, turning to his parents.
“You know, I always thought you guys would be empty nesters, but I never thought it’d be that literal.”
That got all three of them laughing, as I just tilted my head in confusion. I was fairly sure there were no empty nests in the house until after I adjusted the attic room for my own accommodations. Still, I took the laughter as a sign that the tense moment had fully passed and let my ruffled feathers slowly rest.
“Let’s head inside. Krekos, we’re having dinner, you’re welcome to join us.” Reginald said, picking up Kenneth’s bag. I tilted my head a little and he followed up with elaboration. “We will be having meat... But there’s still going to be stuff you can eat too. It’s a celebration, so I prepared a bit of everything.”
“Dad, you shouldn’t have!” Kenneth responded with embarrassment.
“None of that! Our son returned from the war, alive and a hero, and we can have a celebration. Krekos, I know you’re still... uncertain about meat so you don’t—”
“I’ll join.”
Wait, who said that? And why did they say that in my voice?
Wait, that was me. Why did I say that?
“That’s great to hear! I’ve got some nice steamed broccoli and some vegetarian fried rice as sides that you’ll enjoy!” Reginald smiled at me and I felt myself shrinking into my feathers. That the humans didn’t notice at least, proceeding into the house instead.
Well, looks like I signed my warrant. At least my bag and my epipen were on me in case something at the table triggers the allergy again. Would be rather unfortunate to have it happen two days in a row.
And that’s how, in just ten or so minutes, I found myself sitting at the dining perch, while humans took seats in chairs, all consuming chunks of roasted flesh and somehow managing to also stuff pieces of equally roasted plants in, and converse with one another. You wouldn’t be able to tell on first look, but despite their mouths being relatively small, especially for a predator, it seems they compensate for it by having those be near bottomless in both hunger and small talk.
I am not sure how I managed to shift my focus away from them consuming animal matter in front of me, however vat grown it might have been, and onto their conversation instead, but I succeeded. I suppose that was just part of me going native around predators. Soon, I’ll be the one feasting along with them before I know it, and snacking on those epipens to not die of it.
Like you could ever be on the same level as humans.
“So, Fahl? That’s where you were sent after the Battle of Earth?” Lena asked.
“Yeah. From what I heard, we got a light posting compared to guys at Sillis or Mileau. The most I had to deal with was some exterminator insurgents.”
That’s right. Since harchen participated in the Extermination Fleet, they were one of those who were occupied by humans during the war. It makes sense that there was at least some ground resistance.
“Honestly, the worst thing out there was the heat. Not the flamethrower kind, the climate. The place was so damn dry and hot. At least exterminators you could subdue or evade. Not so much with the scorching sun!”
I couldn’t resist a small chuckle at the idea of a predator being more afraid of hot weather than flamethrowers as I slowly pecked at the vegetables on my plate. Thankfully it was set far enough aside from any meat dishes that no contamination should occur, but I was still examining pieces before putting them in my mouth just in case.
Seems like reacting was a mistake though, as that brought Kenneth’s attention onto me. He finished chewing latest piece of flesh and pointed a fork at me.
“So, Krekos... Where are you from? Cradle was my guess, but I do know there were refugees from other places like Sillis too.”
That’s a weird question. Isn’t it kind of to be expected for a krakotl to be from our actual homeworld?”
“I’m from Nishtal.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Kenneth chuckled, tossing a piece of broccoli into his mouth and swallowing before continuing, “I meant, where did you live? I kind of assumed you were born there, but it’s not like Nishtal had a chance to send refugees out, and if they did, this is the last place they’d be.”
Oh... I caught concerned looks of Lena and Reginald, looking between me and Kenneth from both sides. Not only did they not make him aware that I was a krakotl, they also neglected to mention just how I came by my refugee status... Which was just a legal workaround to grant me asylum without unnecessary complications or establishing undesirable precedent. Legally, I may be a refugee, but practically... I am a defector. Lena and Reginald know that, I told them my story before. And while they were weirdly accepting, Kenneth... Fought extermination fleet here on Earth. Personally.
Still, I wasn’t about to lie. It took a few moments and gathering mental strength to steel myself, and averting my eyes, focusing on the plate of warm vegetables in front of me rather than the human’s anticipating stare before I answered.
“I did live on Nishtal. I... I came with the extermination fleet.” I responded, doing my best to avoid looking at him. I did not want to witness his reaction, for some reason the thought of seeing it weighed heavy on my mind.
“Oh.”
The response was simple, and had no followup. There was no more clinking of cutlery against plates, or chewing. The only thing hanging in the air of the kitchen was silence, weighing down on me. It dragged on and on... until it just got so unbearable I couldn’t take it.
“I-I’m full... Thank you for the meal.” I quickly said, hopping off the perch and stepping out of the kitchen, quickly making my way to the yard and taking flight.
Fresh air of the outside and rush of it as I flew up and gained speed... I missed that. I knew it’s not safe to just fly over other people’s territory, so I corrected my course into doing large sweeping circles over the cattle yard and simply let my wings carry me.
Flying away from any danger is the only thing I’m good for anyway. The only thing I ever do.
I closed my eyes. With them closed and not focusing on my angle it feels like I’m actually flying away from all the troubles. Away from humans who barely tolerate my existence, away from gojid who see me as worse than a predator, away from Earth and all its incorrigible customs, away from horrid cattle, away from constant memories...
Flying feels nice. It may be a bit harder than it was home, but it’s still possible. I heard that on Venlil Prime or Mileau it’s much harder. But here? Just an extra flap of wings for every few paces and you’re just fine, free to soar the skies...
Alone. With no one to ever share it with me again.
Slowly I let my eyes open back to the bleak reality. Greenery of surrounding pastures and woods, bright blue skies and farmhouses dotted about here and there greeted me. I lowered my gaze down, focusing on what’s below. There they were, fourteen brown and black dots spread around the enclosed portion of the farm territory. I am not sure how much time I’ve spent flying in circles and trying to forget things but my wings were feeling a tad sore. Then as I just began slow descent, in same circular motion, I noticed that one of the birds, a familiar one, was being chased by several others. Recounting the morning, I tried putting the knowledge to action, and shifted direction of descent, swooping down. To my surprise, that actually worked, as the moment I got close to the ground, the cattle birds all got much louder and scattered in all directions, including the loner. Who, at least this time, got off unharmed. I suppose such pathetic flightless creatures would fear a flying one much more than they would when I just run up to them...
Swooping at them from the sky like a predator to intimidate them into behaving... Like an arxur warden.
With the fight preemptively broken up, I flutter up to the roof of the cattle house, to my usual position and rested my wings. I didn’t see any movement from the direction of the house, so I suppose the family is still busy unpacking. Since Kenneth joined the military just before the Battle of Earth, and Lena and Reginald only moved here after their actual house in city of New York got destroyed, it’d be the first time the human is seeing what is basically his new home. There was a room set aside for him since before I even moved in, and while there is also a guest room... That one did not have a large enough window to fit through, which did not feel comfortable. So when I asked for a space with a bigger window they only had an attic to offer. They seemed uncomfortable letting me live in a tiny room with slanted roof, but I found such space more comforting than I would have a large room with a window not large enough to fit even one fully spread wing through.
I wonder if Kenneth will need as much renovation as I did? The house is built for humans, but he never lived there before. Will he need to buy a more comfortable bed? Getting a proper nesting setup in place of a bed took a bit of effort, but I figured something out. Human sheets were comfortable enough for such, and sitting perches were thankfully not that hard to get thanks to help from the refugee administration. Maybe that’s the things that Lena went to buy yesterday? Kenneth’s preferred room decor?
I looked up to the sky to see the sun beginning to dim. I am not sure if it was me flying that long, or me losing track of time in my thoughts again, but the sun was beginning to set. I began my usual chores, putting out an evening meal and water for the beasts, and while they feasted, ate some myself. I was a bit hungry, having not properly finished lunch and about to skip dinner, but after the earlier conversation, I’d really rather avoid giving them the opportunity to talk to me.
After the birds had their fill, and by that I mean they emptied the tray as they always do, I let out the call, and they started funneling into the cattle house. The lonely straggler being first to go and hop into its nesting box. I bet tomorrow I will have trouble with getting her out of there again...
I took the moment to gather some eggs the birds left over course of the day, and once that was over and all of them were accounted for, I closed it up. When I flew down over to the house, there wasn’t anyone by the back door thankfully, so I just left eggs there, returned the basket, and returned to my room through the window.
Well, at least I didn’t get nearly killed today... That’s nice I guess?
I was about to check my holopad when there was a knock on the door. I approached and opened it to see... Kenneth. Standing in the doorway.
“Uh, hi, Krekos. I just, uh... Wanted to apologize again. I really wish mom and dad told me everything ahead of time... I just want you to know, I have no problems with you whatsoever, yeah? It’s just. Surprising, I guess, to hear all that. I didn’t think there were any defectors from the fleet at all... Just. Uh, please don’t worry about me?” He offered me a small smile, showing his canines before quickly correcting himself and doing a closed-lip one. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories or make you feel unwelcome.”
I had to take a moment to contemplate his words. Was Lena and Reginald’s weirdness hereditary? He almost reminded me of how Reginald talked to me early on, with constant stumbling over the words, as well as constant reassurances that he is fine with me being here. Couple that with failing to avoid predatory mannerisms like eye contact and smiles like Lena tends to and you get this human. But most importantly and least understandably, there was the general fact of him and them just... welcoming me. I couldn’t understand why. I should be one sorry to them.
“N-No, it’s fine... I’m sorry for... intruding on you and your family.”
“No, no, dude, you’re fine! I mean, hell, I was considering entering one of those exchange programs before the bombings happened, and even after, well, I did my best at Fahl to be the perfect friendly soldier just there to make sure no more bombs drop on my home and not kill or conquer anyone. And then mom told me your story, and I can’t believe it... Just... If you have any issues, feel free to tell me. I’m not one of those racist pricks that are too pussy to even call themselves HF anymore because they know they’ll get their teeth knocked. I get that there aren't good or bad species, just people. And you seem like a decent guy if mom and dad’s judgment is to be trusted.” His smile widened, though it was clear from tension on his face that he had to take conscious effort to keep teeth hidden. “So, what I said earlier stands. Friends, right?”
He extends hand forward, for a second time today. I wasn’t sure if I knew this human long enough to call him a friend... Any human really. But it also seems like human definition of ‘friends’ is anyone they’re cordial and peaceful with. Which is weird. You’d think translators would properly use ‘acquaintance’ for that.
Still... We will be living in the same house now. I can’t just say no, and... I can’t come up with a reason to say no. Even him being a predator and a human is not something I could really say I object to, considering how... mundane that became to me over my time here.
So, with naught on my mind but acceptance of the situation, I extended my wing and grasped his hand with my claw. This time he actually gripped it tightly and moved it up and down, as I saw other humans do occasionally.
“Yeah... I guess that’d be for the best.” I responded, shrugging off the hesitation. Fresh start for a third time, I guess?
The human grinned, forgetting to hide his teeth entirely, but I was ready for it somehow and avoided outwardly reacting.
“Cool! Anyway, I’ll try to get some shuteye early, I couldn’t sleep on the overnight flight home. See ya!”
And with that he left. Well... That meeting went well I suppose?
I returned to my nest and picked up my holopad, returning to what I was doing. And there it was, something I awaited every day. A notification that I was messaged on mailing app. Opening the letter revealed the schedule for the study program. Which... only had one day marked on it. And a note that the rest of it will be figured out ‘as we go from there’. So it’s not a schedule, it’s just a mark for the day of the first meeting.
While a bit underwhelming, it was still exciting. It would be an all-alien class so I wouldn’t have to deal with humans’ incomprehensibility nearly as much, and it would allow me to finally return to pursuing what I actually dreamt of. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure that was precisely what I wanted after everything that happened, it was at least something for me to move towards.
...just two days until start. I wonder if there’s some required reading to prepare?
[First] - [Prev] - [Next]

I had Xfinity mobile, internet, and cable. I recently traveled to Nepal. My phone was a brick the entire time I was in Nepal unless I was connected to wifi. When I returned home, I was confronted with a $1000 roaming bill. I called customer service and was told it was Xfinity's mistake. After an hour on hold, I was told that they made a mistake and I was liable for the entire bill. I told them my phone never worked in Nepal and they called me a liar. My mom had a similar experience with Xfinity mobile in New Zealand. If you are planning on going out of country, leave your Xfinity phone at home!!! Or better yet, transfer to another carrier as my whole family has done.

Let us now, then, speak of third density, the Density of Choice, the density where the great apes who began third density with their instinctual ways have, through thousands of your years and hundreds of incarnations, attempted to become human. It may be said that there are many among your people who have never fully become human. They have rested with the second-density instinctual values of the great apes: the defense of the clan, the gathering of resources for the survival of the clan, and the protection of the clan from any perceived threat.
To be human is to become aware of who one is. It is to become self-aware and to behold within the self that ethically motivated being into whose fragile temporary home, the body and the mind, has been poured infinity and eternity so that each self-aware human being is a fully formed spark of the one infinite Creator.
When an entity becomes aware of the infinite reaches of the self and begins to perceive the surrounding milieu in terms of its possibilities for ethical choice, the creation of a fully functioning human being has begun. The citizen of eternity has awakened from the sleep of earth. Gradually that entity begins to become aware of the power within that great original Thought of unconditional love that has created all that there is, that Thought which is also yours to use, to create your universe, your way, your truth.

Metaphysical power is inherent in the awakened human. Even a small child begins to test the limits of his power, his power to say, “Mine,” his power to say, “No,” his power of choice. As the body within incarnation grows to maturity, it is the plan of the infinite One that the mind within also grows and becomes more self aware. It is hoped, and it is pressed upon each spark of the Creator by the very plan of his incarnation, that choice points shall come before that human’s eyes and heart and mind, giving each entity practice in being human, in making the choice of how to serve. For service is inevitable no matter how little a human being wishes to serve. The very nature of third density places each seeker in a series of points of choice and asks that seeker, “How shall you use your power to choose?”

Third density, then, is built upon dynamic opposites: male and female, light and dark, radiant and magnetic, positive and negative. It is such an obvious feature of third density that one of your society’s greatest clichés is, “There are two kinds of people… “ And then the person will say, “Those that do this and those that don’t do this,” or, “Those that do this and those that do that.” Those that are optimists, those that are pessimists; those that like to cook, and those that don’t. There is one after another after another way of looking at the state of humanhood and it inevitably involves the mind’s making a distinction between two ways of being.
Many are the creations of the Father that have played out their third density in an atmosphere in which there was far less freedom of choice, or to put it another way, far less confusion than in your particular sub-Logos’ version of third density. [In creations] where the veil does not drop entirely, the hints and inklings that give an ethically motivated seeker the ability to make choices clearly are enhanced. However, when there is less of a veil and less true freedom of will, the third-density experience takes quite a bit longer, for there is no intensity to take a test when one knows the answers.

It was this sub-Logos’ choice to create an extremely heavy veil and complete free will. Therefore, as humans attempt to become more fully human and to make ethical choices with clarity and precision, they have no proof that what they are thinking is correct, but only the faith within that believes, against all apparent adverse suggestion, that the universe is indeed a universe of love and that making choices that enhance love and enlarge compassion shall be the way in which power is developed to do work in consciousness.

Further complicating the picture is the genetic manipulation at the beginning of this master cycle of experience upon your Planet Earth of the great-ape bodies—which are the bodies intended to grow gradually into third density and gradually into humanhood—by one of the guardians of your planet. It was felt that it was worth an experiment to see if the physical and mental capabilities of the great ape could be enhanced, therefore giving those entering humans far more of an opportunity to make progress in a rapid manner.
Here, however, there was a signal lack of awareness of precisely what the enhanced bodies and minds of the humans of early third density would do in reaction to these added enhancements. Imagine the dismay and the regret of that guardian whose name was Yahweh, when it was discovered that rather than seeking to become human, the entering entities of third density sought only to protect the clan, gather resources for the clan, and defend the clan against threat, the instinctual awareness of late second density.
Full text : https://assets.llresearch.org/transcripts/files/en/2009_1121.pdf

Omg. Just finished the main story line where I let Johnny take control. At the end of that line I decided to bring Johnny to the void thinking it would be the end. Then I woke up as V. Then the whole space cut scene as the final ending. Something out the fact that it isn't over yet, and V is still fighting feels so right to me. I feel so fulfilled.
Put in a little over 40 hours of gameplay. Definitely think it was all very much worth it. It feels wrong to play the game after the ending, so I'm glad I got most of the side missions done. Definitely going to invest in the DLC. And maybe play out some of the other ending in the future. But for now, the one I chose is giving me shivers, complete fulfillment.
And "Chooms"/"preem" will be forced into my vocabulary for the next month or so.

Supposed to be at the DZ in half an hour for my AFF3 but I’ve just cancelled.
I’m obviously scared to jump today but that’s not why I quit. I’m scared of a future in skydiving - of ever having a malfunction, of ever having a friend die, of ever getting hurt or dying.
I’ve had a blast so far! And I’m completely heartbroken to stop but I just can’t see a future where I’ll ever be okay with the inherent risks.

Reposting here for posterity
Summary: Greens hits out at policies tailored for the wealthy, not the people; saying they are devoid of care and evidence. They said if they were delivering this year's budget, they would deliver the following by taxing wealth:

• An income guarantee for everyone
• Lift every family out of poverty
• More support for students or people out of work
• Extra help if you're sick or disabled
• Payments for families so kids can thrive
• More resourcing for the public service
• Free dental care
• Cheaper power bills
• Solar panels and batteries for homes
• Climate pollution reduction

Mā te oranga o te taiao, ka ora ai te iwi. Mō te takitini, kāore mo te torutoru anake. Ki te mana whenua o tēnei rohe, tū mai rā Ngāti Whātua, tēnā koutou. Ki a tātou e huihui mai nei, ko ngā moemoeā o te Pāti Kākāriki te take, nau mai, haere mai, whakatau mai.
Tenā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā tātou katoa.
Sixteen million dollars.
That’s how much the coalition parties raised to win last year’s election.
Ten million for National.
Four million for Act.
Just under two million for New Zealand First.
Sixteen million dollars.
From property developers and business tycoons who have built their wealth by exploiting our natural environment.
To companies who profit from digging up our whenua and overfishing our oceans - activities that cause significant harm to our precious ecosystems.
Sixteen million dollars helped to put this government into power.
And in a little less than two weeks, the coalition government will unveil its first budget.
It has clearly been difficult for them to put it together.
To the right, Act is trying to fire all the people who make our public services work, while in their own cooker corner New Zealand First hoards 1.2 billion dollars for hand-chosen pet projects.
The Coalition has found half a billion dollars for new defence spending, but cancelled projects to improve buses and trains in Auckland and Wellington.
They’re borrowing billions to cover the cost of cutting taxes for wealthy property investors, because they’ve realised that the promises they made during the election campaign were slapdash and expensive.
Meanwhile, people with the least face ever higher costs.
Bus fares have already gone up.
Rents continue to rise, while the government is giving tax breaks to landlords instead of investing in more public housing.
So on Budget Day, when we see what the coalition has been able to cobble together, I want you to remember: sixteen million dollars.
What’s in the Budget for the people who paid for National’s election campaign?
And what could have been in the budget instead if Aotearoa had a Government that prioritised people and planet?
Because I am not here for the relative few who donated those sixteen million dollars.
I am here for the many, including the 330,000 people who trusted the Green Party with their votes last year.
And I want to thank you all once again.
Your voices will continue to be heard.
You told us you wanted us to fight for an Aotearoa where everyone can get by, where our native wildlife and oceans thrive, where we take bold climate action, and where we honour Te Tiriti o Waitangi.
That is what we are doing. And we will be loud. And we will be staunch as always.
I am here for those who cannot sit by while the government tries to take the country backwards on the issues that matter most.
While the goal of a smoke-free generation goes up in smoke.
While new coal mines are dug into our precious conservation land, even as the Prime Minister claims to want to achieve climate change targets.
While the few with extraordinary wealth get what they want, at the expense of everyone else.
The Greens have always been, and will always be, the voice for a different kind of politics.
A politics centred in justice through honouring te Tiriti o Waitangi, not using it to drive a wedge in our communities.
A politics that celebrates the potential our country could live up to if it was grounded in manaakitanga and equity.
That acknowledges the richness of generations of tangata whenua and tangata tiriti working together to care for our whenua and collectively enjoying the fruits of mahitahi.
Where we protect Papatūānuku out of aroha for her, and respect that her wellbeing is also what keeps us alive.
Where we share what we have so everyone in Aotearoa can live a good life.
Everything the Greens won over the last two terms in government with Labour was hard fought. Governments must make tradeoffs. But Governments are defined by their choices.
And right now, the coalition is making theirs clear.
If the Greens were delivering this year’s budget, I’ll tell you what would be in it.
An income guarantee, so no matter what, everyone has what they need to live a decent life.
We could lift every family in Aotearoa out of poverty, and give people the peace of mind that they’ll be supported if they fall on tough times.
More support for students and people out of work, extra help if you’re sick or disabled, and simple payments for families so all kids can thrive.
Free dental care.
Successive governments have let basic dental healthcare get so expensive, that forty percent - forty percent! - of people avoid going to the dentist.
It’s just too expensive.
In Aotearoa, we could choose to resource our public health services - funded by taxes on wealth, so that everyone can be looked after when they need it.
And if the Greens were putting together the Budget, it would fund our plan to make your homes warmer while cutting down your power bills AND climate pollution.
Solar panels and batteries for homes to store the sun’s free energy, taking pressure off the power grid.
But this year, with the help of sixteen million dollars from some of the wealthiest people in Aotearoa, National, Act, and New Zealand First have the privilege of making those decisions.
And I say to them, what are you going to do with it?
You have the choice to end poverty.
Or to give tax breaks to landlords.
To give back more to people who earn their living, instead of tax breaks for people who own more houses than they need, and who already get untaxed capital gains.
You have the choice to invest in solar power, or open up new coal mines.
The choices people make when they have power show us what they are motivated by. These choices define the world they want to create.
So today I want to talk with you about what motivates the Green Party.
Ko te mana o Te Tiriti.
Ko te oranga o te Taiao.
Ko ngā tūmanako mō ngā tamariki.
We are motivated by generations of movements and leaders who have pushed for the sovereignty of tangata whenua guaranteed by te Tiriti o Waitangi.
A partnership on which this country was built, despite the continuous breaches by the Crown partner.
The Green Party is a Tiriti party.
Our leadership is a partnership between tangata whenua and tangata tiriti.
Our work seeks to honour the commitments made generations ago, to prosper together.
Our commitment to Tiriti justice is absolutely integral to everything the Greens do - just as it is integral to the future of Aotearoa.
Tino rangatiratanga is at the heart of healing relationships across communities and reconnecting all of us with our seas, our rivers, our bush, our mountains, and our whenua.
And central to our vision for a Tiriti-based future, is our commitment to restoring and protecting nature.
Because nature is in crisis.
Just out these doors, and below our feet, in the Hauraki Gulf, the impacts of commercial overfishing and the pollution washing into the water from the land, has brought the ecosystem to the brink.
North and west of here, great kauri are critically threatened.
To the south, unique animals found in no other country, are at risk from the bulldozers of mining companies, unless we protect them.
Four thousand different native species are at risk of extinction in Aotearoa.
Four thousand.
We can turn that around, but it takes commitment. It takes effort. It takes mahitahi. And it takes choices. Choices that put people and planet first, instead of a cynical politics that serves the short-term interests of wealthy donors.
If the government chooses not to prioritise restoring the health of the natural world in its first budget, that shows what they are motivated by, and it shows what kind of world they are prepared to leave to our tamariki.
It is our tamariki and mokopuna that motivate the Greens.
Not just the ones born tomorrow, but those after that, for seven generations down the line.
Sustainability doesn’t just mean sustainability for nature, but for people too. This planet is our home. We need it to thrive.
The Greens have always been deeply motivated by care for other people, for communities, for those with us today and for those who will come after us.
We are motivated by every single child who goes to bed hungry tonight.
We are motivated by every single adult who isn’t sure how they’ll pay the rent or mortgage next week.
As winter hits, we are motivated by every person who sits in the cold, staring at the heater, knowing they can’t afford to turn it on.
Our challenge to the coalition government is to prove that you are motivated by this too.
Choose to do something about it.
The solutions to many of the problems we face in Aotearoa are clear. This week I had the privilege of meeting with rangatahi, and hearing about the solutions they want to see in their communities. They are THE experts in their own experience - and they know they need to be empowered and given better opportunities; not marginalised, patronised, ignored, and punished.
But the coalition government doesn’t like those solutions, because they don’t fit its agenda. They prefer catch phrases like “social investment”, to real data and lived experience.
A Government which says it is motivated by evidence-based solutions has cut funding to the world class Growing up in New Zealand study, and continues to ignore the evidence it provides. Like the evidence that 40% of children live in the most deprived areas.
If this government was truly invested in improving social outcomes, it would affirm and resource the experts who know best and have proven the most.
And that includes empowering the people with the lived experience of the systems failing them and their whānau. It requires removing all the barriers to wellbeing such as poverty and homelessness. We need to support whole whānau, instead of focusing on ‘fixing’ an individual after they’ve already been broken by poverty and neglect, and expecting them to rise above circumstances of deprivation that we should have all worked together to prevent in the first place. We need the solutions to be grounded in community knowledge and care. I hope this government is open to sitting with kai rangahau Māori and families to learn more about what really needs to change.
When the Crown has repeatedly failed to be accountable for the harm it has caused to whānau Māori, it is clear that we need an authentic transfer of power and resources - with a partnership of a strong public and social services sector working together, with communities, hapū and iwi, and whānau.
I have seen what works to support people off a destructive path in life. To instead become the best of themselves. There is a mountain of evidence about approaches that work where all other attempts have failed - particularly where there is deep trauma.
These approaches, like Kaupapa Māori interventions, build the strength of whānau and community.
Now for far too long, successive governments have been stuck on catch phrase politics, devoid of evidence or genuine care.
Policies like bootcamps for the young, benefit sanctions for the already struggling, higher criminal penalties - a punitive, petty politics that makes life harder for those already
excluded, and does nothing to keep communities safe and well. This is divisive, stale, cruel and ineffective.
When I have met and listened to the very people at the forefront of this cruelty, the impact has been clear.
Such punitive and dehumanising measures have instead caused even further disconnection and hopelessness. The Greens know that meeting trauma with punishment isn’t going to work. I want rangatahi to hear us loud and clear. You matter. Your whānau matters. You deserve dignity, a community and a country that sees your strength.
At a basic level, I think we all agree that identifying the causes of persistent hardship, and supporting people to get out of those situations, is a good idea.
And we all agree that the measure of a government’s success is whether it achieves outcomes, not how much money it spends on trying.
But the Government isn’t actually doing this.
Two weeks ago the Minister of Finance said her government will “use hard evidence to invest in what works.”
On that same day, the Minister of Social Development announced that people on a benefit will face financial sanctions if they don’t attend work seminars.
Let me be clear, work seminars don’t help people find jobs they’re suited for - let alone create meaningful work with decent pay and conditions. The Ministry of Social Development has told the Minister there is no evidence for the government’s cruel approach. Sanctions do not make a difference for the number of people moving into paid work.
And the evidence against sanctions is extremely clear.
Financial sanctions for beneficiaries, who already don’t have enough income to pay for life’s essentials, simply push people into further hardship.
That affects their children, their whānau, and their whole communities.
Instead, people need tailored support into work that matches their skills and interests, with a guaranteed income while retraining.
At the same time, the Government needs to invest in creating sustainable jobs that transition our economy away from fossil fuels.
Jobs with decent pay, secure hours and support for people to balance caregiving responsibilities. Jobs that support wellbeing for whānau, instead of seeing workers as just a cog in a labour machine.
When the Government rolls out policies like benefit sanctions, they are making a choice to ignore the evidence about the effect of their actions.
And it is our job to expose that.
I cannot say it enough: we have everything we need in Aotearoa for everyone to live a decent life.
We know what people need to rise up out of persistent hardship.
A warm, dry, affordable, and accessible home.
Healthy kai on the table.
The freedom to go to the doctor or the dentist when they need to, without having to worry about the cost.
And next week, the Government has a choice whether to put people at the heart of the budget - or not. If they don’t, they are holding back the potential of our people and our communities to thrive.
And we will ask, exactly who are they governing for?
The Greens are here for the many, not just the few.
We carry decades of political leadership with us, starting from the late Jeanette Fitzsimons and Rod Donald, through to our newest co-leader Chloe Swarbrick.
We are here thanks to the thousands upon thousands of volunteers over the last three decades.
The many grassroots-led movements who we are honoured to have worked with for the kaupapa.
We draw our strength from knowing we are powered by the many. This gives us the strength to oppose a government whose sixteen million dollars of political donations got them where they are today.
Thanks to our people-powered campaign, we have our largest Caucus ever.
And it represents Aotearoa more than it ever has before.
Green politics is the alternative to this cynical, cruel coalition government.
And we are only just getting started.